THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF PHILIP HERBERT, burgess for Bark-shire, Vulgarly called Earl of Pembroke and MONTGOMERY. Who dyed of Foole-Age, Jan. 23. 1650. With his Life and Death, and several Legacies to the Parliament and council of State. ALSO, His ELEGY, taken verbatim, in time of his sickness, and published to prevent false Copies, By MICHAEL OLD●●WORTH. NOD-NOL, Printed in the Fall of TYRANNY, and Resurrection of LOYALTY. 1650. THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF PHILIP HERBERT earl of Pembroke, &c. I PHILIP HERBERT, burgess for Bark-shire, vulgarly called earl of Pembroke and Montgomery, &c. of the family of Esau, of the Tribe of Many-Asses, of the city of Nod-nol, being something diseased in Body, yet God dam me in perfect memory of Mind; do ordain this my last Will and Testament in manner and form following to stand in full force and virtue, revoking all former Wills, Grants, Gifts, Deeds, Bills, Bonds, or Obligations whatsoever. I●p●imis, I give and bequeath my Soul into the hands of him that hath most right to take it; that is to say, the Father of Lies, Oaths, and Perjuries, the Prince of the air, that now bears rule in the Children of disobedience at Westminster, White-hall, or elsewhere. Second y, I will that my Body be decently interred at Hide-Park Corner,( because in my Life I delighted much in hunting) or if the State shall think fit, in any park or Chase of my own, or the late Kings, with the full cry of all my pack of Dogs, whether in Bark-shire, Wilt-shire, or elsewhere, and that none else do lament for me, nor do my Obsequies, except at the laying in my Corps into the ground, there be discharged a volley of curses from all the Swearers and For-swearers in England and Ireland, which shall be seconded from the city and Tower by all the Parliaments fowl-mouth'd Ordinance; provided, that Alderman Adkins discharge the first Piece, as well to prevent danger, as to save Powder for Ireland. Thirdly, I give and bequeath my Wit to the Aldermen of the city of Nodnol, and to their Heires male to be hereditary to the worlds end, to be employed for the good and safety of the city. Fourthly, I give and bequeath my Allegi●n●e to the defunct House of Lords, and their Heires and assigns, in case they remain obedient unto the Commons, and seek not after their right in sitting again in the said House; which if they shall at any time attempt to do, that then it shall fall to Oliver Lord cronwell, Deputy of Ireland; and in case of his death, to his son in law Iretos, and the rest of the Independent royal Pr●geny, Parliament everl●st ng world without end. Fift●ly, I give my ●a●ou● to my Lord Wharton, and his Heirs for ever, provided that he preserve it warily in a Saw-pit, for the use of Sir ●homas and ●ol. Pride, the D●ay man. Sixth, For my H●nest,( being not worth the giving) I will that it be butted with me and i● my grave wil● n●t contain it, that the over-plus go to the Parliaments use, to be issued out to the Grandees of the Independent ●action, and employed in their several Acts and Ord●nances; provided, hereafter that no Excise or Impost be put on so precious a Comm dity. Seventhly, My old Wife I beque●th to my chaplain Michael Oldisworth, to be conve●ted to his own pro[er use and doctrine, in point of consolation f●r her body as well as souls health, provided he edify her every day to her hearts content. Fightly, I give a l my oaths to the Parliament, that they may use them as they have occasion, either in swearing to new Covenants or Engagements provided, they null and make them voided as oft as they shall have occasion. Ninthly, I give and bequeath all my household-goods, Lands, manors, Tenements, Hereditaments, parks, and Warrents, to the House of Commons; provided, that Mr. Henry Martin, and Mr. Weaver have egress and regress into them at their pleasure, to ferit my Coney-Buryes, and hunt in the Purleyes, and take and carry away what Game they please; onely Baynards-Castle, situate on the South-side of the River ●hames, London, I ordain to be made an hospital to relieve all decayed Swearers, and others that shall not deny any oaths invented for the erecting of the new model of State, or have the least fear to perjure themselves for the good of the Common-wealth; and he that is free( being a Member of Parliament) to enjoy no benefit thereby. Tenthly, I give and bequeath my Ha●gings to the council of State, to use at their own discretions; provided, the Hangings of my inner with-drawing room( being the Story of Iudas betraying of Christ) be given to John Bradshaw, to put him in mind of his latter end. Eleventhly, I give and bequeath my Coat of arms to bee worn by all Noblemens Sons, that shall descend from earls or Lords, from Lords to Knights, and from Knights to Commons, and so become Burgesses, and claim their Honour downwards, as myself hath done; provided, they be born with no more Wit nor Honesty then myself. Ywe●f●hly, I give to the State 1000000 li. in ready moneys, to provide them more arms for Ireland, and to raise Money and Horse against Sir ●homas, in case he still stands out and refuses to deliver up his Commission, or sign the new Engagement. Thirteen●●ly, I give my Periwig and all my wearing clothes to Mr. W lliam Low, Predecessor to Mr. Richard Brandon; and ten pounds to buy him Mourning. Fourteenthly I will and ordain Michael Oldisworth my chaplain to preac● m funeral Sermon, and give him twenty Nobles to tell the people all my good deeds, and cry up my Nobility. Fifteenth●y I give unto M●stris May two Diamond Rings, and a Gold chain, besides two Shifts of linen, that hereafter she may have no strait dealings in her linen: also I give and bequeath unto her the said Mistris May, my dear Concubine 200 li. in gold, to mary her to ●om my Groom. Sixteenthly, I give and bequeath Will. lily 200 li. to see if he can keep the devil from me, whom now my time is expired, I must expect to fetch me in a great storm, according to the Covenant made and sealed between him and myself. Seventeenthly, I give and bequeath my whole pack of Dogs to the next burgess chosen for Bark-shire, that my bawling may be kept in perpetual remembrance from one Puppy to another, till the end of this blessed Parliament; provided, they duly pay Excise for every such Dog, according to the rate of this Parliament. Lastly, I give all my hawks to Sir Thomas, provided he hath the wit to know a hawk from a Bazard, and tha● he let them fly at nothing but Game-Royall: Dam m I am very sick, and my Memory failes me much; R f●s● me if I can remember what I have else to give, but something I have, which I leave to the discretion of my Executors, to be disposed as they shall think fit: sink me. I have troubled my mind too much with things-belonging to this world already; and yet Judge me, nothing grieves me, but that a pox on't, now they may call me a rotten Lord indeed: who the devil thought Death had been so near? and yet by God 'tis better to die in ones Bed, then live to be hanged: & who do you think( being a Member of Parliament) will scape that death, if the late Kings son should prevail over us? judge me, it troubles my Conscience that I had a hand in his Fathers Death; but it is a little comfort to me, to die and cousin him of his Revenge:— Michael, where a pox art thou now? Zblood, I am well hope up to have such a Comforter at my Death; ha, ha, ha, what's that? now 'tis at my beds feet; oh, oh, oh, all bloody too; murder, murder, call up my men, Ralph, Robin, Dick, with a pox, there 'tis; now 'tis like a Cat, a pox mew ye, do ye take a Noble-man to be a Mouse? Oh, oh, it bites, it bites, it bites, the devil, the devil, the devil: oh my Conscience; Zblood, give me some Sack, Ile drink a confusion to Death: grass and Hay, a fool must die as well as a Knave: Michael remember me to all my Friends at White-Hall, bid them have a care; Dam me there 'tis again, a Man without a Head, beckoning me with his Hand, and bending his Fist at me; What a pox art thou? speak, if thou art a Man speak; speak, speak; zblood, canst thou not speak without a Head? so ho, so ho, that Dog spends well; tat, tat, Ring-wood, a plague confounded that cur, take him and couple him to Jowler; tell 'em Ile to Guild-hall presently;— a pox of Honour, what need a dying man care for switching? Oh Mistris May, come to bed Sweet-heart come, my Duck, my Birds-nye; Zblood, I must go to Salisbury to morrow, bring me my Boots quickly; Dam me this Park troubles me, Ile ha●t right or wrong; Zounds, will not the Rogues bring me more Money; Zblood, that Cock's worth a Kings ransom, a runs, a runs, a thousand pound to a Hobby-horse; Rub, Rub, Rub, a pox Rub a whole hundred Rubs; Zounds, I think my Bowl's bewitched, it has no more bias then a Bag-Pudding; Michael, tell them Ile restore those Pictures and Modells I had from S. Iamses; the seiling of the Banquet-House at White-Hall tell them is as fit for my parlour in Ramesbury Mannor as can be; a plague, must I build a House for another to make a Bawdy-House of? who can make me a Skelliton? commend me to Mr. Steaker, tell h●m Ile have Woodstock-Bower, and bid him remember the Hangings that came from Hampton-Court; Ile come to the House to morrow, and remove the Obstructions in the sale of the Kings Goods: Zblood, Ile have the University reformed as I list: Goodwin is too Scollarish, Ile have a Beetle-head for that blockish college; Ralph, tie up jewel from her Puppies, they'll suck her as bare as a Birds Arse: Oh the Fiends, the Fiends.— I come, I come, good devil led the way, When Rebells die Hell makes a Holly-day. His Lordship having no sooner ended this his last Speech, but he stared very w●stfully on mistress May, ( his Honours Concubine) and swore Dam me, sink me, and confounded me, some nine times over, and so yielded up the Ghost, and his soul was conveyed away in a hideous storm. witness Michael Oldisworth. Ralph King. Richard Bridges. Robert May. An elegy on the sometimes honourable Philip Herbert, burgess for Bark-shire, and a Member of the new Common-wealth: who departed this Life, Ian. 23. 1649. just a year wanting 7 dayes after he had seen his KING murdered before his own Gate. HEre lies swea king Pembroke, to die he was loathe, Yet when he departed, was choked with an Oath: No honest men grieve, when Rebells do fall, God dam him, he died, and so they must all. In Hunting and Hawking was his chief delight, Would bowl, drink, and drab too, rather then fight. When he was advanced by his King very high, turned traitor, and helped pull down monarchy. A fool he lived long, yet dyed a Knave, A wonder indeed, if God should him save. His Life was ne're good, his deeds were all evil, He's now go●e to Hell, to out swearee the devil. Much misery to England this traitor did bring, To ruin the People, and murder the King. He had been advanced to a high Degree, Had not Death like a Cheater, cozened the three: B●t now he is dead, full low he must fall, Though by his death Will Low hath lost all. All you that will mourn his death at the Grave, Draw ●ce●e and make Water upon an old Knave: No more of his virtues I need to commend, What he was all his Life, he was at his End. FINS.