ONE SHEET, Or, if you will A Winding Sheet For the Good Old Cause, IN ORDER TO A Decent funeral, in case of a second DEATH.  
By W. P. Philopolites.  
LONDON, Printed in the year, 1659.   

A Winding Sheet, &c.  
I Would not have any to imagine that my design is to expose this sheet to public view, as a Trophy of the pretended Good Old Cause its Resurrection; neither would I have it do penance therein, lest the products of its Sanguine complexion, should prove worse than Menses Profluvium, and consequently leave such an illutable stain, that instead of a Sheet, it should deservedly be called Pannum menstrualem; but my intention, rather is to have it in a readiness at the time of its funeral Solemnities; for it is much suspected, that though our new imagined commonwealth may have Twins struggle in its Womb, yet that it will at last only bring forth a single person (which single product, (the relics being more dangerous than Mola in utero) may well cause the death of the Mother) for the ●ffecting of which there will not be wanting such Mercenary Midwives, as will put to their helping hands, for the production of any thing though never so monstrous. Now what greater Monster can be produced, than a new Protector of another Family and Interest than what we have already? But when this tympany of Pride and Ambition is swelled to the height, we shall have the bowels of our Good Old Cause break into a Protectorship, or some other title equivalent, and more Tyrannical. O' P. was as much for this Good old Cause as our new Pretenders, till he saw an opportunity of settling himself in the Saddle, and then the Keepers of the Liberty of E●gland might lead his horse, but Death dismounting this Champion, his Son according to the Humble Petition and Advice assumed his father's Room, to whom (as is obvious enough) Addresses were made from most Counties and Corporations in England; looking upon him as their lawful and supreme governor (the family of the Stewarts being extirpated by these continual new Modellers,) But Astra regunt homines, and M●● being most predominant, at that very time when the sign was in the stomach, down goes Richard without an aspect of Opposition. It is very probable, that had his little finger been heavier than his father's loins, he had not so easily been heaved out; for Similis simili gaudet, and one oppressor would help to maintain another, especially whilst their interest run parallel; but he seeming, to decline oppression, Oppressors decline him, and make bold to practise that in their own Names, which they cannot have licence to act under the Protection of another, so that now every private soldier aspires to the dignity of Dux omnium malorum, and blushes not to affront such, as maintain them and their blush coloured coats.  
But it seems the days of mourning are over, and their black buttons, will no longer put them in mind of their old Benefactor; the old King-killing Cause standing in Competition with his posterity, so that now 'tis as bad to be a Protectorian, as 'twas in the days of yore to be a Cavalier.  
And thus are we emptied from vessel to vessel, and every day more and more slaves to our own Countrymen, which is as base in us to suffer, as 'tis in them to impose: And yet all must be done Machivilian like under a pretence of Religion, and the liberties and privileges of the people, when as dally experience teacheth us, that nothing less is intended, every plain Countryman, being so far become a Politition, as that he can easily discern the face of these fallacies in the glass of his own woes, and Geographer like will give you a shrewd description of most of the highways, at Westmister, in which though he never wrought or travelled, yet he hath faith enough to believe, that they are well mended in time of year of a long parliament where there hath not heretofore wanted workmen, that would take more than ordinary pains in the Pit● of other men's p●cke●s, so that they might save their own soil.  
And seeing they have an opportunity offered of making Hay whilst the sun shines, let us go into the shade that have nothing else to do, but to sing Solamen miseris &c. which doleful ditty is the only solace as I know now extant, and is like to continue till we turn our swords into ploughshares, and our spears into pruning hooks; which is not like to come to pass, whilst some of us are so prone to dissensions, that we must needs create disturbances in the Nation, on purpose to render the sword useful and necessary: Whereas we were in a fair way of safety, and might very well have put ourselves into a posture of defence according to our old Method, without that intolerable and needless burden of a constant Army, which would be insupportable to any but ass's backs.  
But we see customs in martial affairs, as well as Law, are not so easily broken, where uses are transferred ipso facto into poss●ssion, without help of the Statute of 27. H 8, and a piece of a long Parliament Feoff●s in trust, which are as Conduit pipes; I cannot say to lead the uses, because the uses lead them; But however they serve to convey the sweet honey from the laborious Bee to the idle Drones, and if themselves get a taste by the way, 'tis only in Correspondence to the proverb, That 'tis an ill Cook that will not lick his own fingers.  
But no more of that least I should set them on a stomach, that never had an appetite, for we have taskmasters enough who will expect their tale of Bricks, though they allow no straw, and will exact taxes, though they distract Trading; who, so that they may make themselves great, care not how despicable, or to what extremities they expose others: But sure such have little reason to promise themselves safety, in their private cabins, when the Ship is in danger of sinking, or to dream of a perpetuity in that, wherein others have had so small a continuance, the wheel of Fortune being apt to turn, when it stands most steady: our late trans●ctions testify as much, and may tend to the setting the right Spoke uppermost.  
'tis an undeniable maxim in Divinity; That whatsoever is of God shall stand: And most true it is, Si Deus nobiscum quis contra nos! but yet he may suffer many things which he doth not allow, and then they must needs fall; the pleasant success not deciphering the goodness of a cause, though it be never so old: For I never thought good and old Correlatives, because I have often observed that the older the worse, and we all know that a thing relinquished and forsaken, being new swept and garnished, is fitter for the reception of more Devils than ever.  
I must really confess that I am so much, what I profess myself in the front of this sheet (and I wish for quietness sake we were all of the same mind) that for the welfare of my native Country, I could think a republic good, so that it did not degenerate from a Commonwealth, and a Protector better, so he parted not with that like a fool, which some say (his father got like a knave, & a King best of all, that title being most agreeable to our Laws & Nation) so he were not a Tyrant & nullified all good Votes, with his Negative voice, or stand so much upon his Prerogative till he loses his place: but from a Democracy Libera nos Domine, that our Parliaments may be no longer over awed with swords, like a dog with a cudgel, nor take any more such strong Potions, as so purge out the Members instead of the humours, which must needs render them an imperfect body, not worthy the name of the people's Representatives, but rather the stalking horses of some preticular persons, to catch their prey the more easily.  
We use to say of two evils the least is to be chosen: I wish our new created Parliament may observe the same method, and seeing in this juncture of aff●ires, they could do no less than what they have done: I hope that in their progress they will make choice of Aristocracy, rather than an Oligarchy, that an executive power (seeing it may not be in one) may be committed to a few of the best, though not for the present of the strongest, and that such whose breeding and parts makes them only guilty of multilequence, may not be impeached by bones only rattling with Magnanimity, which have nothing in them but the downright language of the Sword, whose Ignorance makes them despise that which they understand not, and whose Covetousness makes them desire that which others possess, who delight in nothing less than peace, because it is no time for Plunder, and care not what confusions they introduce, so they produce their profit and keep the Nation still (Monster like) with the Tail where the Head should stand, which sight hath cost every English man a vast deal more, than many a Show that is not worth two pence: I speak not this to extenuate the honour due to Martial Discipline, which may tend much to the glory of a Nation, nor to derogate from the worthiness of such Martigons whose merits may sufficiently manifest that my speech is not intended of them, though it be in some sort directed to them, only to this end that it may the more conspicuously appear that they have drawn the Sword for their Countries good, by being willing to lay it down for their advantage; and as opportunity shall offer itself, to send those mercenaries under their command (that will fight on any side for 6. d. odds) to their quondam employments, whose desire is only to make a Trade of War, and to live upon the ruins of others, being not willing to be accounted non-proficients under their late grand Tutor, who was so well experienced in the Game at Put; that by the advantage of a few spots, cunningly rendered the King an inconsiderable Card; and these illegitimate Births of that corrupted Parent are grown to that maturity that they are ever ready to run the hazard of a forcible entry, and in imitation of their old Gamester put honest men out of doors, though they have nothing but a Knave to show for't. But we are now at One and thirty, a Game that (without disparagement) may be played at a Council Table, where if the Gamesters be not self-seekers, this miserable cheated Nation may be the greater Winners.  
But now to turn to our Good Old Cause, which being new come to Town, may justly take exceptions, that I have been so long averse, & not exercised towards her ladyships those common civilities, that are usual to all Strangers, as to solicit their stay, though they never desire it, &c. But I must beg an excuse, not being bred up in the Academy of compliments; therefore not apt to flatter, neither can I speak Ironically, though I have learned the Figure, being more apt to Tom tell-truths Dialect, and to speak what I think. But to tell you true, and which is a bad Omen, there are so many Anabaptiss, Familists, S●●kers, Quakers, Cum multis aliis, that rejoice at this new guest, that I thought my entertainment would not be acceptable; and another notorious Company of Gotamites, which notwithstanding I had almost forgot, viz. our Church Antagonists, that cannot endure the sight of a holy Sister in a steeplehouse, but forsooth they must have a convenient meeting place, where they may mingle together in Friendship to beget Reformations. These senseless brood of Hypocrites, or (at best) blind Zealots, together withal the spurious issue of Jesuitical impostors; bearing, as one saith in another case) a sacred hatred to whatever is comely and decorous, do in a perpetual scorn to it distort all their Actions to the contrary Mode, applauding themselves only in an unlimited liberty, and of doing whatever either their fond or foul imaginations suggest to them. As for their outward garb, 'tis a cloak of Religion, lined thorough with fair hypocrisy which Irishman like, is never off in the basest employments; their Conscience they carry in their pockets loco crumenae, which they can stretch upon all covetous occasions, even to the Reception of all Revenues, that tend to the encouragement, either of learning or Religion. But to hang by these idiots, let us wish this Good Old Cause better favourites, that seeing there is such fair pretences we may see some performances equivalent, and that those in Authority may more regard the public than their private Commodity: that so the good People of this Nation may be as much satisfied with the effects of this Change, as they are for the present discontented. That a Learned and Godly Ministry may be countenanced: so that Court and Church be not at once destroyed, nor the Universities be forced to follow Whitehall, which (they say) is to be purchased by Jews, and I hope no true Christians will meddle with the other.  
To conclude, If this GOOD OLD CAUSE puts us not into a bad new Case and Condition worse than ever, we might well forget the fifth of November, if the greater deliverance, might justly obliterate the less.  
FINIS.