Speculum Crape-Gownorum, THE SECOND PART. Or a Continuation of OBSERVATIONS and REFLECTIONS Upon the Late SERMONS Of some that would be thought Goliahs FOR THE Church of England. By the same AUTHOR. LONDON: Printed for R. Baldwin. 1682. The Second Part of Speculum Crapegownorum, in a Dialogue between Priestlove and Meryweather. Priestlove, I Say, and I still say, that had it not been for the Observator and Heraclitus, the Nation had been ruined ere this. Mery. How Friend Priestlove? Priestlove. Nay, how me no how's, for 'tis very true. Mery. Not so hasty— For will you prefer a Brace of Quacks to a whole College of able Physicians? Priestlove. I prefer no Quacks. Mery. Yes, you do— For the Observator and Heraclitus are a couple of mere pretending Quacks; they find the Nation labours under a Scorbutic distemper, and they come with their French Congees, and cry, Me cure de State. Me cure de State, when they know no more of State-Physick, unless it be to Draw a Blister, than Horseleeches. Priest. I care not for that, I stand to my first Assertion still. Mery. This 'tis, not to consider: for in so saying, you dishonour the whole Society of the Crape-Gown Order of D. D's, and B. D's. and the more inferior sort of Rectors and Vicars, who have now undertaken to be the State Physicians themselves. And do you think that the Applications of Bow Church Sermons, Guildhall Sermons, Assize Sermons, and Anniversary Sermons are not much more wholesome for the present distempers of the State, than the Euphorbucum and Cantharideses of the Observator and Heraclitus? Priest. Both Applications may be good in their kinds. Mery. Oh Sir, but the Levites pretend their Licences from Heaven, which th'other can never lay claim to: So that the other are mere Intruders; and whether the Levites do not practise beyond their Skill and Commission is much to be questioned. Priest. The Scripture commands obedience and submission to the Government; they are commanded to Preach the Scripture, therefore they are commanded to Preach Obedience to the Government. Mery. That is to say, in Civil affairs, they are to Preach General Obedience to the Laws and the Government; but thence it does not follow they are to be Judges of the breaches of that Obedience: For were it otherwise, they were to take their Texts out of Polton, and not out of the Bible. For example, were the difference between the People and the Magistrate, whither the Statute of Jeofails, or the Habeas Corpus Act were to be Repealed; what have they to do with that? No more than the Pinner of Wakefield. Would it not be fine sport, to hear the Pulpits ring with the Habeas Corpus Act, or the Statute of Jeofails? You are commanded to obey the Statute of Jeofailes, you are commanded to obey the Habeas Corpus Act, Job 36.21. In likemanner, what have they to do with Associatians and Addresses, as they are the Disputes of State? For let them talk till their Lungs ache, they can never prove by Scripture, that either political Associations or Addresses are forbidden, in reference to the English Government. But if the Prince shall once declare his particular dislike to such proceedings, then are they to press a general Obedience to his Will and Pleasure, so far as is consentaneous to Divine Writ. Priest. Who shall be Judge of that? Mery. The very definition of a Christian Loyalty itself: That is to say, That virtuous and inviolable Fidelity which the Subject owes to his Lawful Prince, by virtue of the same Obligations and Ties by which he is bound to God: And this is that true Christian Obedience which every true Minister of the Church ought to inculcate into the hearts of their Hearers by the force of pure Divinity, not Arguments of State, which are fluctuating and inconstant; in regard that Reason of State, and alteration of Government may alter the case of Obedience upon various occasions; in so much, that in the quick Turns and Revolutions of the latter end of H. 8. Ed. 6. Queen Mary and Elisabeth, some of the greatest promoters and Practisers of Politic Obedience, were ashamed at last of their frequent compliance, and retired out of the way; as you may Read in the History of the Reformation itself. Priest. You have given a nice Distinction of Loyalty, pray make it out. Mery. The first is that Christian Obedience which is due to the supreme power by the Law of God, so far as may stand with the Sacred Interest of Salvation. The second is an Obedience upon the moral motives of Human Interest to the Law of Man, which may sometimes impose commands which a sincere and upright Conscience may in some measure scruple at, nay positively deny a submission to: as in the case of the Three Children; or by a late fresh example in the case of the late times, when even temporal obedience was refused by all that adheard to the King whom dire necessity did not compel to it. Priest. The late Times, what d'ye talk of those Usurpers. Mery. However to talk like a Divine, it was a Supreme Power, tho' set over us for our sins and our punishment: And most certain it is, that both we and the Calvinists agree in this, That, Etiam Infideli Magistratui obediendum est, with safety of Conscience. I only speak this to show, that men are not to urge upon the Conscience so severely, that were so nice of it themselves. Priest. Well, but then to the second. Mery. The second, which is an Obedience to commands enjoined by the Politic Constitution and Frame of Government, I think there is no Dissenter in England, that would not be accounted a Rebel, but would confirm it to his Prince with his Heart, his Hand and his Purse. And this is properly called Loyalty, Loyaute, Legalidad, (all from the Latin word Lex) which acts according to the Laws of Nature and Policy, as being due first to those Laws, and then to the Minister of those Laws, as the derivation of the Word plainly implies. Which being the chief satisfaction to the Civil Magistrate, it seems hard that Ecclesiastical Jurisdiction should make such a heavy clutter for her far less inconsiderable mite of a coercive power. Just as if one and the same man owed the secular claim a Hundred thousand pound, and the Ecclesiastical pretensions Twenty pound; the Secular Magistrate should be bound to give no Release for the whole Hundred thousand pound, because the same person requested the Ecclesiastical Jurisdiction to abate Five pound of her Twenty. Priest. Is there nothing then due to the Church of England. Mery. Yes— the Noblest Tithes of the World— the Tithes of Unity, Love and Charity. Priest. Why do they not pay them? Mery. Pay 'em! They dare not come near ye. Up ye get into your Pulpits, as into so many Beacons; where ye raise such a Flame, that they're afraid of the Countries coming in upon 'em. But doubtless had that method been used by those who have taken another course, of teaching true Christian obedience, without reflections, flames, and virulency, that Union had been long since accomplished, which the Protestant Interest at present so much laments? Priest. Tush— they're a stiffnecked Generation that will never conform. Mery. No? There's one, Mr. Read by name, has fairly lead the way. You will not let him read the Liturgy of England in a Church, where would you have him read it? upon the top of the Monument? Or what would you have him do with those Souls that have committed themselves to his charge, and are so well satisfied of his conduct to Heaven? Will you hear his own words? He tells ye, first, That he has advised with his Brethren in the Ministry, who did acknowledge the lawfulness of using the Liturgy in the Ordinary Lords-day-Service. That his Principles are these, That Obedience to the Magistrate in things Lawful is a duty. That a form of Prayer is lawful. And that Communion in such Churches is lawful. Now why must Grand-Juries, and Petty-Juries be put to the trouble to vex and torment such men as these, and deter them from their good intentions? Priest. Because of the Law. Mery. As to that Law (for I know you mean the last Law against seditious Meetings.) I have this to say: First, I do not find that the makers of that Law do assign the least breach of Political Obedience against the Dissenters: only there is a Supposition, that an Insurrection may be hatched at such a Meeting: So that as long as there is no such thing done as the Law supposes, where there is no Transgression there can be no Punishment. So than it remains, that this Law was obtained by some part of the Clergy for their own advantage, and to render themselves the more formidable to their Dissenting Brethren. In the second place, it was never yet known in this World, that ever any Civil Magistrate, or Supreme Power, made a Law, with an intent to punish any good man. This Law against Dissenters punishes many a good man, therefore never intended by the Supreme Power against the Dissenters. Now, that the Dissenters are good men, I prove from David's own description of a good man in Psalm 15. wheres putting the Question to himself, Vir bonus est Quis? He answers, first as to the Civil Government, Qui ambulat integre, exercetque justitiam; That is, He that behaves himself dutifully and obediently toward the Civil Magistrate, and justly toward his Neighbour. Now that the Dissenters are, at least outwardly, under the guard of these descriptions of good men, is plain, for that no Informer complains against them for the least breach of Civil Obedience either in Word or Deed as to any other Law, but only the single act of Nonconformity to this Statute. So then the Statute not being intended against them, as being good and virtuous men, and conformable to the Civil Government, they can be guilty of no Nonconformity to the commands of the Civil Power: For the Civil Power, by this Act, enjoins nothing but Peace to be kept; with the breach of which, no Informer as yet hath taxed them. That the Dissenters are not guilty of any Nonconformity to this Act, in reference to the Ecclesiastical Power, I offer thus: The Statute enjoins the Exercise of Religion, according to the Liturgy of the Church of England, which contains no more than only Truth. If then the Dissenters speak and pray according to Truth, they exercise according to the Liturgy of the Church of England. The Psalmist therefore proceeding in the next words, after he has declared who does well in Civils, tells us who does well in Spirituals; That is to say, Qui loquitur veritatem ex animo suo, He that speaks Truth from his heart: But the Dissenters do speak Truth, nay the Truth of Truth, Divine Truth, and therefore exercise according to the Liturgy, and as such they are good men, and so to be accounted, in foro Ecclesiastico. Now then put it thus. Never any Lawgivers ever made a Law, with an intent to punish any man that speaks Divine Truth; But this Law against Dissenters punishes many a man that speaks Divine Truth: Therefore never any Lawgivers intended this Law against the Dissenters. And the same Argument holds for the Hearers, as well as the Speakers, for that the hearing of Divine Truth is as Lawful as to speak it. So then, if the Dissenters, as intended by the Act, were to be punished, they are Transgressor's; but the Dissenters not being intended by the Act are no Transgressor's: Therefore the Dissenters are not to be punished by the Act. Or thus: If the Dissenters, as not intended by the Act, are not to be punished, they are Innocent; but the Dissenters, as not intended by the Act, are not to be punished: Therefore the Dissenters are Innocent. The reason why they are not intended by the Act; is because they are Loyal to the Civil Government, and Obedient to the Spiritual, for that they Speak and Preach Divine Truth. And then, That the Dissenters Preach Divine Truth is easily thus proved; The Church of England Teaches Divine Truth, the Dissenters teach the same Doctrine with the Church of England: Therefore the Dissenters teach Divine Truth. From whence we may infer, that to pursue such Vast Numbers of People under the Notion of Dissenters with the Lash of a Law, that assigns no breach of public disobedience or Public disturbance, no detriment to the Public Revenue, or forbidden Acts of private injury, but only the supposition of an Offence deduced and inferred from the bare separate Excercise of Divine Worship, seems an extremity too much simpathizing with uncharitable, worldly Interest, that misses more the separated Purse than the separated Person. The moderate Party themselves confess, that as to those who purely and out of Conscience refuse to conform, their Circumstances are hard. And it is as hard, that of all the Penal statutes, these that have the fairest plea to soften them, should be so loudly awakened to their Offices, when those against the crying sins of the Nation and more destructive to Government, lie dreaming out a Lazy Being for want of Employment. And indeed Friend Priestlove the case seems much the harder, in regard that the Turk in the present height of his Tyranny and Popular reverence of his Mahumatisme, Smith, de Graecae Ecclesiae bodierno statu. yet lets the disconsolate Greeks have the free Exercise of their own Religion which is all the happiness they have to boast of in this World. Priestlove. I care not for your Greeks or your Jews neither; I tell you the Presbyterians are a company of Traitors and Plotters. Does not the Observator and Heraclitus tell ye so? and do not the streets ring of their Plots? Merry. Truly you are well hope up with two special Fathers of the Church of England. What if they should tell you that the Moon were made of Green-Cheese, would you believe 'em? Priest. Yes, that I would, so long as they wrote against the Presbyterians. Merry. Well, but where are these Presbyterian Plotters? You see the Popish-Plotters have been visible enough, at the Old Bailie, Westminster-hall, Tower hill and the Gallows; where be these Presbyterian-Plotters? Do they walk in the Clouds? or have they got every one a Gyges' Ring in their Pockets? Has your Observator been all this while observing, and observed none of 'em yet? Whoever they be, let 'em be brought to the Stake, and let the Observator and Heraclitus have the pleasure of Roasting 'em to death, the next burning of the Pope, for the reward of their great pains. However, I will not undertake to justify every individual Dissenter; there may be Turbulent, Factious and Ambitious persons of all Professions, and under all Masks of Religion. Nevertheless, I hope you would think it a great piece of Imprudence, for a man to throw away a whole Quarter of Wheat, for the mixture of a Peck of Tares. If your Observator and your Heraclitus would bring their Winnows and their Skreens, and separate tke Corn from the Chaff, they might then gain some applause perhaps for that, which now runs about the World only for scandal and impertinence. Priest. I must tell ye, they have no decency, no decorum in their Worship. Mery. As how? Priest. Why you shall come into a Meetinghouse, and while the Minister is in his Pulpit, there you shall see a company of People, Young and Old, Rich and Poor, sitting upon their Bums, their Hats pulled over their Kickshaws, with their Pens, and their Books, and their Blotting-Papers, all so busily employed, as if they were so many men Copying of News-Letters, and this in such a strange Ethiopic Character, that nobody can tell what they Write: They may be setting down their last Weeks Gains and Expenses for aught I know. Nay, I saw one so wedded to his Hat, that after the Minister was in his last Prayer, he would not stir it from his Head, till he had concluded what he had to Write, wiped his Pen, screwed his Inkhorn, fixed his Blotting-Paper, clasped his Book, and put it in his Pocket: and by that time the Minister had almost done. Mery. All this while, this is no disobedience to the Law. However, I wish there were no greater obstacle of Protestant Unity than this, since it would discover a very extravagant obstinacy indeed, if the promise and performance of the Reformation of such an inconsiderable scandal as this should be refused. For indeed, Friend Priestlove, I must here close with you, that it seems to me a very indecent thing for the Ambassador of so Almighty a Prince, as the King of Heaven, to be uncovered, and that the Hearers should receive the glad tidings of Salvation in so unthankful a Posture. I speak not this so much out of respect or veneration to the Walls, or the Pillars, or the place itself, but to the Message delivered, the Deliverer, and the Time of Delivery. But now to retaliate your Indecorum, I will tell ye of another Indecency, which I take to surpass yours, from which, I can except no Parish-Church within the Lines of Communication; and which I look upon to be the mischief of Pews, not used in other Reformed Churches; and that is the hideous noise and clatter in the time of Divine-Service. For it behoves Mr. Sexton, or Mrs. Sextoness, to have a vigilant eye that day, knowing that Christmas will come: And the greater the reputation of the Minister that Preaches that day, the worse it fares with mortal Ear and disturbed Devotion. At one end of the Church come in Two or Three Women, and then perhaps in the midst of the Absolution, slap— slap— slap; by and by come in Three or four men together, and then 'tis, Our Father which art in Heaven, slap— slap— slap; and if the Lock be a little refractory, then three or four slaps more into the bargain. By and by comes a whole shoal of Slugabeds, and then 'tis, We beseech ye to hear us good Lord; slap here, and slap there, slap there, and slap here; slap a that side, and slap a this side; slap— slap slap. Anon come in two or three gay Petticoats, than upstarts Mrs. Ginglekey from her Hassock, opens this Pew, and that Pew, and then 'tis, Lord incline our hearts, etc. Slap here, and slap there: And thus there is no end of Slapping all the whole Prayer-time; as if the Pew doors had been ordained to supply the place of Organ Responsories; a confusion that would not be endured at a common Musick-meeting. Priest. This is so customary, that nobody minds it; and besides, it may be very advantageous to keep people from falling asleep. Mery. Then keep your Doors open while Prayers are done, and slap 'em in Sermon-time. Priest. But how will you help it? Mery. Nay, look you to that; I am sure 'tis a very great Indecorum. Go to the Observator and Heraclitus, they are wise men, perhaps they'll advise you to Oil your Locks every Saturday night, and line your. Pew-dore with Coney-skin Furr. But I'll tell you of a greater inconvenience than this, and that is the Translation of Hopkins and Sternhold. I may call it a Common Nuisance to the Service of the Church; a Translation (to use Mr. Abraham Cowley's expression) that hath reviled David worse than Shimei. Preface to his Pindaric Odes. Poem upon Sir Philip Sidneys' Translation. You shall find the famous Dr. Don bewailing the scandal that attends the Church by reason of their permission, and utterring his complaint in these passionate Expressions: For I must not rejoice as I would do, When I behold that these Psalms are become So well attired abroad, so ill at home. Dr. Patrick gives this Character of it, Friendly Debate. That the words are mean & uncouth, and that the sense of the Prophet is often mistaken. To say truth, the words are opprobrious to the present Language, to all Rhyme, Reason and common Sense. To satisfy your Judgement, I will give you a taste of some passages, but not so commonly taken notice of, beside those already obvious. But Lord, Psal. 22.9. out of my Mother's Womb I came by thy request. Do you believe now, that ever David was so unmannerly, as to tell God Almighty, that his Mother had never brought him into the World, unless he had desired it? Now for downright Barbarism, Lord, when wilt thou amend this gear? Ps. 35.18. Why dost thou stay and pause? This seems to me to be a kind of expostulating with God for taking too much consideration. This that follows is quite out of season: I shall depend thy Grace upon; Ps. 55.26. With all my heart and Lust. What use young and illiterate persons may make of such a provocative as this, I leave you to consider: For they are ignorant that Lust had two significations before, and now but one. In another place he would make you believe that the Universe was governed by some ordinary Mechanic. For, saith he, Ps. 78.37. — Their hearts were nothing bend To him nor to his Trade. It put me rather in mind of the Shoemakers Saint, and the Knight of the Burning-Pestle, that run away from their Master Take this piece of modesty or immodesty, which you will, for 'tis as you please to interpret it, and then I have done. Ps. 55.12. Her inward parts are wicked plain. These and a whole Regiment of horrid Barbarismes of the same nature, together with the sordid Nonsense and villainous Rhimes that attend 'em (if they may be so called, because so intended, such as Pillar and Hopper, Psal. 78. and a thousand more) are accusations and proofs sufficient to prove 'em guilty, and to condemn 'em ad Cloacam, as a dishonour to all Divine Worship. Priest. All this is nothing, the people will sing; and should you bring in new ones, they will say we are bringing in Popery. Mery. This, indeed, is the common Crape-gown excuse: Much like what was alleged in the Council of Trent, That no alteration in Divine-worship was to be made, tho' for the better, for fear of intimating a fallibility before. But I hope our young Crape-Gowners are better taught at Sam's Coffee-house than so; or else they keep their Sanhedrims there to little purpose. But there is another reason, these Gentlemen are so addicted to Haranguing, that they have no time to spend in mending Psalms; as if the gingling of an Alamode Sermon were the only Music that pierced Heaven. And thus you see I am as much for the honour of the Liturgy of the Church of England, as you can be for your life. Priest. Well, because you closed with me before, I will close with you now: For I must confess I never looked upon Sternhold and Hopkins to be Poet Laureates, of all the men in the World. But you know, Sir, nowadays, there's more got by one Play, than by Twenty Volumes of Divine Poetry. Mery. And then another thing is this too, your Crape-Gown men sit musing i'th' Vestry over the Churchwardens Half-pint, till the beginning of the last Stave of all; and so never hearing the Old, what should they concern themselves with a New-Translation? Besides, they have most of them very ill voices, or such an aversion to Harmony and Concord, that they care not a straw for singing; believing farther, that God gave them their voices only to bawl, and not to sing. Priest. Well, well, jeer on, you'll get nothing by't, Heraclitus will pay ye off; he's a perilous man: He and the Observator are to take upon 'em shortly the Title of Subdefenders of the Church. Mery. There is one Indecorum yet remaining which I have frequently met with, and desire you to give me your judgement of it. It proceeds from the pride and vanity of several Crape-Gown men, that Preach more out of Ostentation than Instruction. Priest. What's that? Mery. Why, 'tis your Church-Huzzaing, or Hum-humming in the Church. To this end you shall have the Popular Chrysostom, would be cantonize his Oration into so many parts, as he may think it proper, so expect Hums. Each of these parcels of sublime Eloquence are tipped at the end with a most glorious Euphonema that cries chink i'th' close, which charms your ears and dazzles your understanding both at a time, and then the Gentleman makes a Sembrief rest, and looks about him. Priest. And what then? Mery. Why, the signal being thus given, the Church is straight in an uproar, Hum, hum, hum; Hum, hum, hum; in so much that you would even admire the Bells don't ring backwards of themselves. To these kind of Sermons, there are wanting only a Prologue and an Epilogue to entitle 'em either to the Buskin or the Socc, according to the quality of the Subject. Priest. Oh, I find where you are, you would not have an Eloquent, Orthodox Minister encouraged. Mery. Yes, but not like a Player: For by the same rule, you may as well hiss 'em, when they displease, as hum 'em up, when they tickle your ears. And besides, it shows very ill, at the same time, to reproach a Meetinghouse, and make a Theatre of the Church. Priest. Well— I shall tell the Observator and Heraclitus what you say, they'll give you an answer I'll warrant ye; I remember your three Accusations, Pew-clapping, Sternhold and Hopkins, and Church-Huzzaing. Mery. Do so, and commend my Service to 'em, and tell 'em, there's nobody ever cared a straw for 'em yet, that had either Wit or Sense in their Heads. Priest. But you were talking, I remember, a little while a-go of Size Sermons, Anniversary Sermons: and Guildhall Sermons, What have you to say against them? Mery. I say still, I do not like your State-Sermons; 'tis such a piece of Pageantry as was formerly used to Preach up the Titles of Princes: Sometimes the Scripture was for the House of York, sometimes for the House of Lancaster; 'Tis such a Spiritual Agency in Secular Affairs, that nothing can be more Jesuitical. You may know what a Clock 'tis, by the Chiming of the Cathedral Pulpit. Priest. Oh Sir, upon extraordinary occasions, and in extraordinary places, men come to show their Parts and their Learning, not their Divinity. Mery. There you say something indeed; For nowadays, downright Divinity, is accounted no more than downright Dunstable: Which you may gather from the usual answers to the common Questions. What is such a one? A good, honest, plain, downright man. What is such a one? Ay, marry Sir! there's a Acquaint man indeed! He's a yerker ye saith; He claws of your fanatics. Good God what a strange itch of being accounted a Acquaint Man has infected our Crape-gown Gentility! And yet there is no understanding man, but will give more attention to one of Gifford's plain Sermons, than to a Hundred Theological Orations, that make the Pulpits roar like so many Matrasses of Aurum Fulminans, under the Guard of an ignorant Chemist. Priest. What of all this? Mery. Why, I say, that satire and Divinity are ill-matched; they look like a White and black Horse i'th' same Coach. satire is one thing, Reproof another; the latter for the Pulpit, the former for the Stage. And therefore the Booksellers have a pretty good Prospect of the Business, while they lay out so exactly Play and Sermon, Sermon and Play, that a Man might almost play at Chess upon their Stalls; and in the course of the Game, here snap a Rook upon a Play, there a Pawn upon a Sermon. Nay, it is come to that pass too, that Plays and Sermons are both of a known value; Twelve Pence one, Six Pence t' other, come as many as will: Nothing so certain as Plays at Twelve Pence, Sermons at Six Pence a piece, and Long Thread Laces, two a Penny. Priestl. I see whereabouts you are; You are for a dull, heavy, flat, insipid Sermon, without Salt. Salt savours all Things, saith Solomon the wise; and if All Things, Sermons. E'en eat your Shoulder of Veal by yourself for me, if you will give me neither Butter nor Oranges. Merr. Why then, it seems, Railing against the fanatics, as you call 'em, is Sauce for a Modern Sermon. Priestl. It both embellishes, and takes to boot. And besides the fanatics are now the only People, that have Abettors and Upholders; Alas, as for the Pope or Anti-christ, as ye call him, he (good Man) is in a sinking condition; the King of France is tearing from his Head the Third Part of his Triple Crown; And would it not be an ungentile Act, to trample upon the Unfortunate? But the fanatics are Rampant, and headstrong: They are for Petitions and Associations; They are followed by Throngs, and Multitudes. Merr. That's no fault of theirs; if the People finding their Doctrine to be as good as Yours, are more taken with their Plainness, than with your Flashes, your Ecstasies, and Raptures. Priestl What should the People follow them for, like a Company of fanatics, as they are? Merr. What They d'ye mean? Priestl. Why I mean the fanatics. Merr. Who are the fanatics? Priestl. Why— the fanatics are the fanatics. Merr. Very well— I see you do go to Church sometimes, you repeat so well. What a happy thing 'tis, to hear an A-la-mode Sermon? A Man may bring away the greatest and chiefest Part of it in a smart Epitome, without the troublesome help of that Mark of the Beast, called Shorthand.— But what sort of things are these fanatics? are they Men or Mice? Priestl. They are such as the Observator and Heraclitus call fanatics. Merr. They! Why, they don't know themselves who they are. Priestl. I care not for that; I believe in Them; and whoever They be, that they call so, are so. Merr. You're a Fool.— They get their bread by calling Men fanatics— They'll call you Fanatic if you vex 'em. Priestl. Gad— if they do.— Merr. What then? Priestl. I'll tell 'em, I love the King.— Merr. So do Thousands and Thousands of those they call fanatics, more to the purpose, and more Substantially, than ever they did, or ever will do, or are able to do▪ Priestl. What d'ye mean by Serving the King Substantially, and to the purpose? Merr. I mean, They that obey all His Civil Commands exactly, and both can and do pay their Taxes, and their Duties well; and are as ready to serve Him with their Swords i' their Hands; Not Beggars, that cry God Damn 'em, God Bless the King, that live only upon the spoils of His Bounty. Priestl. Well, but for all that I will not see my Parsons abused.— Merr. Your Crape-Gown men, d'ye mean? Priestl. Yes. Merr. There's no body abuses 'em, they abuse themselves.— Priestl. As how? Merr. Well— now I come to them— 'Tis to me the greatest wonder in the World, that so many Six Penny Cuts should buzz about your Ears like Dor-Flies in Summer; (for their impatience is such, that they cannot stay till they amount to a Volume) considering nevertheless, as if they lay under the Engagement of the Selfdenying Ordinance; with what a strange Reluctancy, what an inestable Unwillingness, what an unspeakable Constraint, they are forced, pressed, and urged to expose the Six Penny Embryo, either an Obliging, Caressing, endearing, bountiful, munificent Lady, that cannot, must not, will not, be denied, obliges, under the high, and never to-be forgiven Penalties of Ingratitude.— Or else the most Beneficial Patron beseeches, obsecrates, entreats, implores, nay will have it so; or else Authority Commands; Subscribed Wag-staff— And then out comes the Sermon, like Oil of sweet Almonds, squeezed between two Tin Plates— sometimes it slips forth like a wet Cherry-stone between your Thumb, and fore Finger, without their knowledge.— Priestl. You'll tax 'em with Hypocrisy, by and by. Merr. By no means, Dear Sir— I only show ye, what plunges they are put to, to get rid of their Modesty— Self conceit cries, Out with your Sermon, Sir,— No pray, Sir, don't, cries Modesty; And then she lays before him a hundred Arguments of Infirmities, Unworthiness, want of timely Notice, alias Surprise, and the like— Out with it cries Vainglory, 'tis as good as ever was tipped over Tongue, Sir— And this is the poor Man so tortured and tormented, that he can take no rest; till at length Eager desire of Applause, plause, pitying his Condition, fetches one great Person or other to solicit for her, and so Friendless Modesty is forced to withdraw behind the Curtain. Priestl. I tell ye, Sir, these Sermons are the Lights, by which we discover the gentlemen's Parts. How should we see the gentlemen's Parts, if they hid their Lights under a Bushel; that is to say, if they did not Print their Sermons? Merr. Prithee let 'em Print their Sermons, till Fool's Cap be Five Pound a Ream if they please, but then let 'em Print 'em without Epistles and Dedications, or such at least wherein 'tis plain their words, and their minds have as little Coherence, as their Texts, and their Sermons. Priestl. Hoyty-toyty,— They shall come to You, to know what Epistles and Dedications they shall make! Merr. No-no, Sir, I never expect it— They have a Guide of their own, that knows how to apply himself to Ladies and Gentlemen of all sorts and Conditions. Priest. Well then, pray set your Heart at rest— I say they shall make what Epistles and Dedications they please, so they Preach against Forty One. Merr. Hush— you don't consider how the Observator has of Late disturbed the sweet sleep of Forty One; and therefore, prithee be thou more merciful. Priestl. Merciful! what to Forty One? I'll wake him and wake him, and keep him awake like a Lancashire Witch— but I'll make him Confess.— Merr. What? Priestl. That the Presbiterians hold King-killing Doctrine, like the Jesuits.— Merr. — Good now harp no more upon that string. Priestl. Harp no more upon that string? Gad I'll go and do your Errand to the Observator and Heraclitus immediately.— Merr. Do so— but in the mean time harp no more, I say upon that string— For if the Presbyterians do hold King-killing Doctrine, They Learned it from the Church of England Men. Priestl. Ye Lye.— Merr. Patience— or I'll call the Constable.— Priestl. Call the Devil— I say ye Lye.— Merr. Govern your Passion, Sir, d'ye understand Heraldry? Priestl. Yes. Merr. Why then, Observe— Sixth's Church of England- men begat Queen Elizabeth's Church of England- men— Queen Elizabeth's Church of England- men begat King James' Church of England- men— King James' Church of England- men begat Charles the Firsts' Church of England men— Charles' the First's Church of England men begat Charles the Second Church of England men.— Priestl. Begat, and Begat? Why; I don't think the Church of England men dropped out of the Sky.— Merr. That's not the point.— Priestl. — What then? Merr. Why, then I say, you do not Read in any Story, since the Growth of Christianity, that ever any Crowned Head was ever brought to a Formal Bar of Justice, till MARY Queen of Scots was Arraigned, Tried, Convicted, Sentenced, and formally Beheaded by Queen Elizabeth; and the Clergy were a part of the Body, that pressed and urged the Queen to hasten her Execution. Priestl. The Interest of the Protestant Religion than required it. Merr. Oh! but your Bathonian Doctor tells ye, you must not do ill, that good may come of it. How strangely the Case is altered? Queen Elizabeth mig●●●ut a Sovereign Prince to Death to secure the Protestant Religion, but now 'tis a crime to exclude a Popish Succession that menaces the destruction of it. Priestl. What d'ye talk? now I think on't, she was a Plotter against the Queen. Merr. Could ye blame her for Plotting (though she absolutely denied it) against a Person that kept her from the Enjoyment of her Kingdom? One that had deceived her with Chains and Imprisonments, after she had made choice of her Kingdom for Sanctuary and Assistance. Priestl. Well but now I think on't again, I have something to whisper in your Ear, in the behalf of Queen Elizabeth. Did not Jehu and Jehoiadah cause Jezebel and Athaliah to be put to death? Merr. That won't serve your Turn.— They were neither of 'em Sovereign Princes. The Queen of Scots was an Absolute Princess; nay, She insisted upon Her Sovereignty too, and Her not being Accountable to any, but God: But nothing would do; She that came for Succour, met with a Headsman for all that. Priest-l. Well, I'll say this for Queen Elizabeth, though She be dead and gone, That I am confident She would never have done it, could She have told how to have avoided it. Merr. That may very well be; for we find, that the Nobility, and Chief of the Clergy would never let Her be at quiet, till She had given Order for the Execution. And therefore 'tis plain, that the Church of England-Men did hold King-Killing, or Queen-Killing Doctrine, which is the same thing. So that, if Knox, Buchanan, or Calvin first taught the speculative Part, the Tother first put it in Practice, and set the Fatal Precedent, that Others followed. Priestl. Grant it were so,— the Case is altered now.— Tempora mutantur & Nos mutamur; What our Forefathers did, is nothing to Vs. Merr. The same thing may be said of the Presbyterians, who always disclaimed the Fact, were the First that endeavoured to prevent the Unfortunate Tragedy, and the First that put their helping Hands to the Restauration of the Right Heir. It cannot be imagined, but that the Queen of England, Restless as She was, what to do at that Conjuncture, consulted the Choicest of Her Divines and Her Chaplains, in point of Conscience; and it is as evident, that they in some measure satisfied Her, by the Event. So that either they spoke against their Consciences, or else they were of that Opinion, which you condemn in others, but cannot discover in yourselves. Therefore keep close to Your Texts, and let Six Hundred Forty One sleep in the Bed of Oblivion, lest you wake Five Hundred Eighty Seven about your Ears: Who, should he be once conjured up, will hardly be laid again by all the Skill of Sam's Coffeehouse. Priestl. Well, well.— Leave it to Them.— They'll find out a way to salve all this Business, I warrant ye. Merr. This I only speak (Neighbour) to put you in mind, that there were formerly, certain People in the World, called Pharisees, Persons that always extolled their Own Holiness and Virtues, and laid Crimes and Miscarriages to the Charge of Other Men; perhaps, not so guilty as Themselves. More than this, I find by one of the great Satirists against the Late Times, Sermon Preached on the Anniversary of that most Execrable Murder of K. Charles, the First Royal Martyr. 1682. p. 6. Nabuchadnezzar but very oddly justified, for putting out Zedechiah's Eyes. We do not wonder at the Ruin of Zedechiah, nor was the Ruining of him a Crime on Nebuchadnezzar's Part. Priestl. He gives ye a Reason, I warrant ye. Merr. A notable one. For (says he) Absolute Princes are coordinate, and stand upon the same Level; and if upon sufficient Provocations the one happens to gain his Neighbour's Crown, the Fact is Just by Right of Conquest. Priestl. Well— what think you of it now? Merr. Truly I wonder I did not meet with this Argument in the King of France's Declaration, to Justify his Invasion of Flanders. But how does this justify the Ruining of Zedechia? For if the King of France should Conquer the King of Spain, it does not presently follow, that the one must put out the others Eyes. Priestl. But if the one be Subordinate to the other, which was clearly the Case of Zedechia, the recovery of the Crown is in the Supreme Prince an Act of Justice, and the punishment of an inferior Prince who abjureth his Fealty, is by all Nations allowed to be a Righteous Act of Vengeance. Priestl. Could an Angel have said more? Merr. An Angel! Why I say this is all nonsense. For there was never any such thing as Subordinate Sovereign in the World. A Sovereign Prince though meaner in Power, is equal in Privilege and Dignity to the most puissant. When he becomes Tributary, he is only Titular, and no Sovereign. If Zedechia were Monarch of Judea, he was equal to the Assyrian Monarch, and it was a crime in Nabuchadnezzar to ruin him, and put out his Eyes. And I would fain know, what Nation i' the World, ever thought it a Righteous Act of Vengeance, to punish a Tributary Prince for endeavouring to recover his People and himself, from Thraldom and Sworn homage, to which the Fortune of War had reduced him. If Zedechia were only Nebuchadnezars Slave, his Viceroy, or Substitute, than the Case altars indeed; but to talk of punishing Subordinate Sovereigns, is to countenance the crime, against which the Gentleman was exclaiming all his Sermon along. Priestl. But Nabuchadnezzar all this while did not cut off Zedechiah's Head. Merr. Truly much at one— For Chains and a Head without Eyes, could be no extraordinary comforts to a meaner Man than Zedechia. Priestl. Well Sir, the Sermon was a good Sermon, and the Gentleman meant well. Merr. And I wish him the Honour he deserves, that Nabuchadnezzar were now alive to make him his Chaplain. Priestl. There's no need of that; He is already Chaplain to a Great Person, and serves a fine Gentleman. Merr. That he does with a Vengeance— For you may read him acknowledging himself the most abject Slave in the World, to pin a piece of Flattery upon his Patron. Priestl. Where have you picked up that? Merr. In the Dedication of the Sermon before mentioned to the D. of S. in these Words. So far am I from owning that Principle, That man is born free, That I Confess myself and all that bear my Name, to have inherited such a State of servitude to your Lordship, as if according to the Mosaical Custom, Your Noble Ancestors had bored the Ears not of our Progenitors only, but of their whole Issue. Priestl. Will ye blame him for his gratitude? Merr. By no means; but this is such a piece of gratitude, as never was heard of, to disown himself Born free, to involve his whole Generation without their consent, and entail a perpetual slavery upon his Succession, for Chaplain-Entertainment, and admission to the First Course. I cannot tell what large possessions he may hold from his Patron in soccage (For he will not allow 'em in Frank Almonage) but certainly they cannot be so great as to entitle Him and his Posterity to such a Servitude as he would fain aspire to. For if he disown his Freedom in a Theological Sense, he denies the Scripture; if either in the Ethical or Political Sense, let him have what Opinion of himself he pleases; we are not bound to believe his Paradoxes, and deny ourselves one of the chiefest Blessings that Heaven and Nature has afforded us. — Licet, ut volo, vivere; non sim Liberior Bruto? Priestl. Don't tell me, I'd not give a rush now adays for a Compliment without a Hyperbole. Merr. That's as much as to say, Your Worship loves to be Flattered— May that happiness attend your Worship— 'Tis Princelike indeed— But for my part, I am for none of your Hyperbolical Compliments, especially in Dedications to Sermons. For it shows there may be much of Poetical Licence in the Sermon too, that follows. But we'll leave the Gentleman to have his Ears bored by his Patron; and consequently marked for what he professes himself to be; and pass on to the Quintessence of Courtship; such a piece that I do not find the like in all the Academy of Compliments. His first Oblations are to the Mother in this Seraphic Phrase. Sermon called The present Miseries and Mischiefs of Sin. For as for your Ladyship, I must beg Pardon of your Modesty to say, That your great Prudence and Piety is a sufficient guard against all Temptations to those sins, which in this following Discourse are found guilty of all the Miseries and Mischiefs of mankind. Prist-l. Bless me! What's here but a Zealous Compliment? Merr. A Compliment, Sir! Why 'tis the Elixir of the Miseries of Love and Eloquence. It ought to have been written with the Quill of an Angel's wing in Letters of Gold, and sent upon the Wings of a Lark to St. Winifreid. Priestl. Do you know Sir, what the Lady is, or what her Virtues are? Merr. No Sir, neither will I derogate from them. She may be a Lady after Gods own Heart, for aught I know: But I am sure it was such a sufficiency, that neither David nor Solomon with all their Prudence and Piety could ever boast of. And therefore it argues a high piece of Sycophantism, to attribute those praises and sufficiencies to Mortal Frailty, which are merely supernatural; and for which the Person himself is forced to beg pardon of the Lady's Modesty before he can proclaim 'em. 'Tis palpable he strained hard, and that his Brains were upon the Tenterhooks for a piece of purse-opening Sublimity. Priestl. Why, what if it did produce him Twenty broad Pieces, or so? what then? Merr. Nay, he deserved it double for what he afterwards gives to the Son. Of whom (says he) I think, I may without Compliment, say, That he seems to be so made by Nature, as if God had on purpose framed him, to demonstrate the Beauty and Lovelyness of Virtue, to those of his Quality, in this Degenerate Age. Priestl. And all this may be real— For (he says) he speaks it without a Compliment. Merr. Nay, by your leave he does but think so neither.— For my part, I wish the Dedication may not have praised the young Gentleman out of the World— For 'tis the General Observation, that Persons of such rare perfections seldom live long— I remember a Gentlewoman that lost a hopeful Child once, and the Nurse gave that reason for it. But you do not Observe, Sir; Here's a young Gentleman made by Nature, and Framed by God, and the Masterpiece of both it seems. So that if there should be never another such a Pattern in all His Majesty's Dominions, you must not think it strange. Priestl. Truly, I must confess, this is something an Incomprehensible Compliment. Merr. Nay, he goes higher yet. Priestl. 'Tis impossible! Merr. Yes he does; and that most soaringly too. For (says he, speaking of the aforesaid Gentleman) so naturally is he inclined to all good, and averse from any thing that is evil, that one would almost think that he alone was exempted from that General Corruption and Depravity of Nature, which all other men derive from Adam. Priestl. 'T was well that Almost came in, in Time— My Hair began to stand an end. Merr. You see he has made the young Gentleman Almost a God upon Earth. Had it not been for that Almost, and one single Imperfection more in the Gentleman, that he suffered this Compliment to be made him, not much more could have been attributed to the Humanity of Christ himself: and you are also to mind the word alone, upon which the stress of the Compliment lies. Priestl. 'Tis ill placed— I don't deny it— But yet I would fain find out an Excuse for this Gentleman— because I believe him to be a Tory.— Merr. Do you believe this to be a Hyperbole, or no? Priestl. Yes— I tell ye.— Merr. Why then you must believe it be a sublime Piece of Flattery: And yet this was done by one that arraigned and convicted all the Sins of Mankind— Your Humble Servant, Robert Wensley. Priestl. Well— but you shall make an excuse for this Gentleman.— Merr. Troth, I can't do it— you must even go to the Great Excuse-Forge in Ludgate-street— there you will find the Lay-Chairman of the Crape-Gown Committee, whom you may first Fee, and then Employ— But the jest is this, that after the Gentleman has Seraphimed and Cherubimed the Lady and her Son, he wishes them all the Happinessess of this World, and that which is to come; as if the Latter could be denied to Persons so supernaturalized, and fitted for Heaven. Priestl. And thence you infer, that the Gentleman spoiled his own Compliment.— Merr. I do so.— Priestl. — I am glad on't withal my Heart— For now will I make that pass for a good excuse, as I'll manage the business.— Merr. — Well make your best on't— for I am now proceeding to other matter— Can you Preach before the Artillery Company? Priestl. Not I, in good Truth.— Merr. Why then, I'll tell ye— If you would Preach before the Artillery Company— Priestl. Prithee why can't the Artillery Company March to the hewing down half a score Chines of Beef, but they must have a Sermon, like a General's Speech to encourage 'em to the Battle? Merr. Nay— I can give you no great Reason for that; but if you will Preach before the Artillery Company, you must make a Military Sermon, I'm sure of That.— Priestl. As how?— Merr. Why— you must be certain to take a Text first, wherein you find the word Soldiers; that Common sense will teach ye.— Priestl. — And what then.— Merr. Why then Ephes. 6. will help ye very much. But because that Chapter is too well known you may pass it by cursorily, and come to the more Novel terms of Art, as Drum's, and Beats: For Example, if you would give 'em a hint of the Late Times, as it is very expedient to do, you must say thus,— When the Pulpit was the Drum, and Curse ye Meroz the Beat. By way of Reproof you may tax 'em for Cashiering their Honour by Vice, and suffering themselves to be beleaguered by their Lusts. A Wing of Miscreants, the Muzzle of a Gun, or the Swords Point are very proper Expressions. Forewarn 'em too, that they be not Pioners to blow up Religion. Priestl. That's an Improper Expression.— Merr. 'Tis no matter for that— 'twill do well enough in a Pulpit— And besides you'll find most of the Red Feather men asleep— Then you may compare a good Conscience to a Sentinel; and be sure to bid the Soldiers take great care of Leaping over the Lines, and breaking their Ranks. Priestl. But where are the Blunderbusses, and the Bandeleers all this while— Merr. I believe they were forgot— but I found that the Soldiers came to John the Baptist like a Forlorn-Hope, and that they came in the Rear too. Priestl. O but I would have had Bandeleers and Blunderbusses in.— Merr. Why Sir, I believe there might be some sort of Blunderbusses among 'em.— Priestl. I do not mean such Blunderbusses— I mean discharging, Firing Blunderbusses, such as will kill a Man of Ten Thousand a year.— Merr. What would you have had him done with 'em.— Priestl. Discharged 'em, (had their been a hundred) against the fanatics. Merr. Why there were a sort of People, that the Parson was very angry with; but he charged them so furiously himself, that there was no need of any other assistance. Priestl. Well, but where are the Culverin, and the Demiculverin? were there none of them neither? Merr. They never March with them— They are too troublesome i' the street. Priestl. Well,— but the Gentleman might have put two or three into his Sermon, though— Merr. Why, Sir— He did as well.— He had several Thundering Expressions.— Priestl. Had he so? And he was truly angry, you say? Merr. Truly angry, Sir! as a Man ought to be, that preaches before Soldiers.— Well, but would you now Preach acutely among the Lawyers?— Priestl. What then? Merr. Why then, you must use another sort of Dialect, as thus: God resents the Treason, grants a particular Commission of OYER and TERMINER, Humble Plea for the Quiet Rest of God's Ark. Finds the Bill, and presently gives Sentence. In an Assize-Sermon you ought to be very Acquaint, and Magisterial— To tell the Judges their Duties, the Counsel theirs, the Jurymen theirs, and the Plaintiff and Defendant theirs. Then you are to give the Judges particular Directions about the Giving of Oaths in this manner, That they ought to take care, Assize Sermon, Preached at York, called the Nature, etc. of Solemn Judicial Swearing, etc. that Oaths be administered in all Courts of Judicature by those of greatest Authority present; and not by the Criers, who are generally young, heedless Clerks, and only mind their Groats.— Nay, you may tell 'em, if you please, that No Man ought to take an Oath, after he has eaten his Breakfast. If you speak of a thing doubtful, you may say, You will Return a Jury of Twelve Primitive Bishops, or more, Mark of the Beast, p. 26. (and then, I suppose, it must be a Grand Jury) all good Men and true, to prove it. Or thus: If these things be so, I require him to prove it; if not, Primitive Christian. p. 26. St. Paul's Doctrine will be found Billa Vera in Heaven. Priestl. But what need of all this?— What necessity for a Size-Sermon. Merr. Only to give the Counsel time to take their Fees, and read over their Breviates— I could never find any other Reason— And therefore I have known some Judges pretend haste of business, and desire the Gentleman to keep his Sermon Cold till another time. Others I have known, when the Gentleman has been too tediously wrapped up in his own conceits, that have gone out of the Church (and you know the Crowd follows the Scarlet) and left him to talk out the rest to the Pillars. There was one Young Stripling was mighty severe upon the Judges, and their Clerks; but when the Judge came to the Mayor's House, whither he was that day invited, he found (by a fatal mischance) the same Sermon in the Mayor's Window, Printed long before. Priestl. However there may be some benefits reaped by these Sermons. Merr. Which way? As for Example in the Case of Judicial Swearing, to talk of the Pythagoreans, the Grecian Laws, the Ancient Germans, Jupiter's Old Priests, and Kata tou Meizo nos Homnyousi, to the Judges, they are too well qualified, as to understand much more than their Teacher; and for the under-sheriff and his Talismen, as they understand not what was said, so they regard it as little. I would fain know how far the League between Hannibal, and the King of Macedon will affect them? or how far it will operate upon a gaping Country Fellow, to bid him not Swear in vain? because Tertullian disallows it? These things are to be pressed upon the People in plain home-spun-Kersey Sermons; not in finical Flanders, laced Harangues to the Judges. Either they preach to the People, or the Judges.— But they don't Preach to the People, for they can't understand 'em.— Therefore they Preach to the Judges; and that's but Ill Manners. Lastly, You are to terrify 'em with the Day of Judgement; which, to put in proper Terms, you may call The Grand Assize, where all Writs of Error shall be rectified. Priestl. Well, but if they will Preach, I think 'tis very proper, that they should use Words and Expressions adapted to the Subject. Merr. 'Tis very right, Sir.— It tickles the Fancy, as you would tickle one's Ear with a Straw: however to knock terms of Art out of joint among Artists, seldom produces more than Laughter and Dinner-Discourse. Priestl. I must confess, I would not have a man in an Assize Sermon tell the Judges a Story of the good Samaritan? Merr. That's very proper, Sir,— For a Judge may pour the Balsam of Recovery upon a Gentleman's almost Lost Estate. That will hold, Sir. Priestl. Nor would I have a Man talk to a Company of Seamen, like a Dancing Master. Merr. That's very well too, Sir— For a man may say, the Ship Dances in a rough Sea, very properly— nothing better. I tell ye Sir, a man of Art and dexterity (to speak in Theology, like a Seaman) may bring any Text to bear upon any point of a Subject he pleases.— As for Example, to prove the Power of King's, and particularly of the British Monarchy. A Gentleman takes this Text, Sermon Preached at Wakefield Octo. 30th. 1681. Psalm 51. vers. 4. Against thee only have I sinned. Priestl. This is a great Argument— For he that can only sin against God, is accountable to none but God. Merr. Sir, I do not here go about to dispute the Power or Absolutenless of the British Monarchy. For we have Secular Arguments of greater force to prove that Thesis, were the Pulpit (as it ought to be) silent as to those matters; but only to show, that it cannot be proved from this Text, notwithstanding the dexterity of the Gentleman to traverse it, and to make it bear upon that Subject. Priestl. Well— proceed.— Merr. In the first place, I would fain know, why David should aim at that time, more particularly in the 51 Psalms, to assert the Power of the British, than of the Spanish Monarchy. For my part, I am apt to believe he was otherwise emyloyed, then to think of either. In the next place, I conceive the Gentleman does not take the Interpretation of the words right. For the words L'ke L'babka Chatathi; Against Thee, against Thee only have I sinned, were without Question uttered in reference to the privacy of the Fact committed, which lay concealed from all the World but God (Joab being then an Accomplice) and David having recompensed the Injured Lady by Marriage. Which the very next words, explanatory of the first, and to them annexed, and made part of the sentence, by the Coputative We, seem to demonstrate. V v Harang B'gneneka Gnasithi: And the evil I have done in thy sight; not in the sight of any other. And therefore he makes this Confession; to what end? not to show that he was unaccountable to none but God, but to justify the Almighty in what punishment he should inflict upon him; as the last words of the Text demonstratively imply; L'magnan 'tis sd●k b'dabreka, tizkeb b'shaphreka, To the end thou mayst be justified in thy Word, and pure in thy Judgement. And therefore these words seem to be grounded, more likely, upon David's calling to mind the Words of the Prophet Nathan, Sam. 12. v. 12. Thou didst it secretly— but I, etc. To which this Confession seems to have reference. For there was then no difference between the King and his People, nor my reason for the King to Appeal to Heaven, about his Power. And this is that which makes me believe, there is no more ground, to prove the Power of the British Monarchy, from this sorrowful Ejaculation of David, so dreadfully alarmed by the King of Kings himself; then there is to prove the Jurisdiction of the British Parliaments from the 2. Sam. c. 5. v. 3. So all the Elders of Israel came to the King to Hebron, and David made a League with them in Hebron before the Lord. I would wish the Gentleman for Arguments sake next time to take this Text in hand, and try what he can do with it: For if he can but find out what that League was that King David made with the People, we should sooner find by that, whither David were accountable to none but God or no, then by his Text. Priestl. I must confess, I don't understand your Hebrew, not I; but my thinks 'tis a very pretty Text. Merr. The Text is a very good Text, but you can't think the fellows that are hanged were accountable to none but God, because they sing the very words at the Gallows.— But I suppose you have heard of another Gentleman, and he's a Sharper— ay mean He that undertakes to prove the Unlawfulness of the Bill of Exelusion from Job. the 36. c. 21. v. upon this Ground, That it is not Lawful for a Man to do evil, that good may come of it. Priestl. Yes, I have heard of him, and I suppose you are of the same Opinion. Merr. Truly, I believe there are many things which that Gentleman may call Evil, which Reason of State will not allow to be so. And I believe, that State Policy, is not bound to be confined, to his more narrow approhension of things, nor to take his Direction in things, wherein he has nothing to do to give it. It may be said, that it was not Lawful for Queen Elizabeth to assist the Prince of Orange, to advance the Protestant Religion; but yet she did it, without taking notice of his Maxim-▪ A Captain of a Man of War being too hotly engaged, and like to be taken by the Enemy, is bound to sink his Ship, and blow up, it may be, three or four hundred Men, rather than deliver his Charge to the Enemy. One would think it were an evil in itself to destroy so many Innocent Souls, and Subjects of the King, yet unless this evil be committed, that good may come of it, that is to say, the Preservation of the Princes and the Nations Honour; that Captain shall be shot to Death, by the Laws of War, if he do not do it. So that in what is evil, or what is good, They who are managers of the Public Government of Kingdoms and Principalities, are not to be guided by the Little Rectors of Parishes. Priestl. Well, I must grant, this was a little too far strained— And truly I think the Texts were ill chosen too; the one from the words of a Suppliant to God, and the other from an Exhortation to a Person, Permissively under the Clutches of the Devil; but now I shall never have done with ye.— Merr. Upon my word, Sir, I'll give ye but one more of this Nature.— Priestl. Well proceed. Merr. A Parson not long since Preaching at Chertsey, Sir, having undertaken to prove the Excellency of Monarchy, takes his Text Judg. 17. vers. 6. In those days there was no King in Israel, but every man did that which was right in his own Eyes. Priestl. How could this be? A Government without a King, and yet an Excellent Monarchy! Merr. Oh Sir— you see they have the Art of doing these things. Priestl. Well, but how did he do it? for I am in great Expectation. Merr. Why, Sir, he proved it from several evil accidents, that happened at that time, for want of a Monarch.— Priestl. O' my word— a very good way.— Merr. First— Micah made a Molten and a Graven Image, and an Ephod, and a Teraphim; which was, because there was no King in Israel; for had there been a King in Israel, there had been no Idolatry. Priestl. This is but an ill Beginning. Merr. Secondly, The Levites taking a Concubine, and her playing the Whore against him, was, because there was no King in Israel. Thirdly, The Ravishing of the Levites Concubine was, because there was no King in Israel, for had there been a King in Israel, the Levites Concubine had not been Ravished. Priestl. Enough.— Merr. Nay, Sir, I have no more at present.— Priestl. Gad, I smell a Rat; this is some Whig-Story of your own Invention. Merr. Whigg me no whigs;— I understand no such Names of Distinction.— But I know more than one, or two, or three, that heard him.— Priestl. Then he is— Merr. Why, Sir, he keeps his Footman. Priestl. Does he? Then he's high enough; what need he Play the Fool, for Church-Preferment?— Merr. But what d'ye think of that Bathonian Squire, (for I can hardly call him Minister) that rides Tantivy, Tantivy, against Jack Presbyter, as he calls him, with his Lance couched in his Rest, like Don Bellianis of Greece, as if he would overturn him at the first course? Priestl. Why truly, I find him in a very great Passion. Merr. Yes, in such a Passion, that you may read his whole Book in his Title-Page, and discover the Rancour of his Mind in Thirteen Capital Letters. Priestl. But they affronted him, it seems— Merr. Affronted him! Where was his Christian Charity? Because a single Person Tophamed him in the Bath, therefore must he, like a pretended Attorney-General of a Minister, undertake to impeach a whole Order of Men, that contend with him in Principles of Divinity and Morality, and most certainly outdo him in Preaching. Priestl. But you know, There are some things (as the Proverb says) will vex a Saint. Merr. And truly, it was a most Saintlike Design, to revenge himself upon the Presbyterians, by endeavouring to prove the unlawfulness of the Bill of Exclusion, from the Afflictions of Job. Priestl. As to the Revenge, I can say little; but as to the Ingenuity of the Business, I find you do not apprehend it. Merr. As how? Priestl. For had the Bill passed, it might have been an Affliction to the Parties concerned. Merr. I'll swear, Friend Priestlove, you have hit it; I did not apprehend it before. Priestl. Well,— but what say you to the Sermon itself?— Merr. I think it not worth the Name of a Sermon.— In short, it is such a mere Tongue-Granado, such a Composition of Brimstone and Fire, that I wonder it does not kindle of itself, and fire the Booksellers Shop. And, in a word, the Author may be called the Tory's Hickeringhil. Priestl. Well— have ye done now? Merr. I have only one Request t'ye, because I know you're a great Frequenter of Sam's Coffeehouse, to desire those Gentlemen, (especially the Historians) either to let alone their Quotations; or else to cite 'em so, that we may find 'em to be Men of Reading— Priestl. Why, what Exceptions do you make against their Quotations? Merr. Why, Sir, I find the Author of the Present Miseries of Sin, telling my Lord Mayor the dreadful Example of Sylla, who in a violent Fit of Rage, vomited up his Soul, pag. 13. mixed with Blood and threatenings. For which he citys Valerius Maximus, whom he calls a Historian. In the first place, Valerius Maximus was no Historian; but only a Collector of History. In the second place, Plutarch and Pliny would have told him, That he did not die of a Violent Passion, but of a Phthiriasis, or the Disease called Morbus Pediculosus. Priestl. But you see Valerius Maximus was best for his Turn. Merr. That's true indeed;— and I would have allowed it at Paul's School. In the next place, he tells ye of Alexander the Great's kill of Clitus. And for this he citys Oliverius' Notes upon Valerius Maximus; whereas he might have quoted Plutarch or Arrianus for the same thing; and that had been done like a Scholar. pag. 19 The Story of Ptolemy, King of Cyprus, is in Plutarch's Life of Cato; so that he need not have been beholding to Oliverius' Notes upon Valerius Maximus for it. Priestl. What's that to you, if the Gentleman had a peculiar Kindness for Valerius Maximus? Merr. Dear Mr. Priestlove, I bear no Malice to Valerius Maximus in the least: Only I say, 'Tis somewhat pedantic, to quote an Index, when a Man may cite the Book itself. But I more wonder, that a Doctor should cite Cicero, Sermon Preached At Bow- Church, Jan. 30. 1682. for a piece of History; about the Romans enacting Laws against the Worship of strange Gods, when he might have adorned his Margin much more to the purpose, and more properly out of Livy himself. Priestl. Why should you be angry at this? Merr. You mistake, Sir; I am so far from being angry, that since Quotation and Margent-filling are only Acts of Vainglory and Ostentation, I would not have Gentlemen unwarily lose their Applause by ill Management.— I promise ye, I expect that some of 'em should Thank me for this good Advice. Priestl. Ha' ye done now?— Merr. Yes, Sir.— Priestl. Why now then let me ask thee, What is the Meaning of all this Clutter and Hurly-burly? Certainly, it must be the fanatics, that make it.— Merr. Faith, Sir, I can give no Account of it; but I find the Church of England-men are very Angry.— You cannot come to hear or read a Sermon made upon any public Occasion, but let the Text be what it will, half the Sermon is Matter of State.— One cries out against the Popish Protestants; Bow-Church. Bath-Church. another cries, Pope Populus in Parliament; another, no less than a Parson-Justice, Thetford-Sizes. lifts up the Weavers-Beam of his Indignation, and lays upon the Parliament of the whole Nation, as if he had engaged all his Divinity for the Certainty of the Mortal Stroke. The Weight of his Text was Two Hundred Shekels of Silver— By me Kings reign.— The Weight of his Doctrine, a Hundred and Fifty:— That Monarchy is Jure Divino.— The Weight of the rest, you may guests by what follows:— They that Reign, aught to be Kings; not Commonwealths, not Lords and Commons; not Parliaments, (especially Parliaments, that by bare Votes would abrogate Laws) not Parliaments, that by Arbitrary Proceedings would infringe the Liberty of the Subject; not Parliaments, that would Exclude the Right Heir from the Crown; not Parliaments, that are Guilty of High Treason.— Was it not well now the Parliament was not at Thetford? Else, for aught I know, they might have been Committed.— Priestl. I confess, Zeal may sometimes a little exceed.— However, they are Men, and Rational Men; and sure they would not do this, but that they have some Reason for it. Merr. Why truly, Sir, I believe some think it pleases, and therefore they do it in hopes of preferment. Others, out of an overweening pride, and conceit of Themselves, and contempt of their Brethren. And then, i' the next place, there is such a Numerous Fry, that Hunger and Thirst after Maintenance, and so few Bones i' the Nation, that they snarte at all, who pretend to share with 'em. If you will hear their own Acknowledgement, the Author of the Properties of Heavenly Wisdom, confesses, that the Quarrels are sleeveless, de Lana Caprina, as he calls it, pag. 28. about Habits, Gestures, Days, and other Ceremonials. Priestl. Why then, one would think, such Differences as these, might easily be laid asleep, by a Charitable Condescension on both Sides. Merr. Ay— but then again, says the same Author, the Confused Noise of Pro and Con, Ob and Sol, I may add Whigg and Tory, drowns the Voice behind us, which tells us, This is the Right Way, walk in it. We find also, that some Men are obstinately attacked to their own Opinions; and these are a sort of People, who believe that mutual Love and Charity are only owing to those of their own Sect. Priestl. That's contrary, I am sure, to the Scope of Christian Perfection, and the Precepts of Christ, and His Apostles. Merr. What care some Men for that? especially they, who are guided by that Maxim of Hell, divide & impera. Interest, you know, Sir, has Governed the World, how long d'ye think? Priestl. Why truly, I believe, ever since I can remember. Merr. Why, there's the Grand Cause of all our Misfortunes. If you would but remove that Obstacle— Priestl. Why then I'll propose a way— What think ye of a National Council? Merr. I dare not undertake to propose it, Sir; But as to that I'll give ye the words of the Author of the Old Way of ending new Controversies. P. 32. A National Council ought more especially Oblige us, to determine the Controversies among us; because their Decrees are our own Acts, as having chosen the Persons who represent us in it. Priestl. Very honestly spoken, what think you?— Merr. That's a thing to be left wholly to Authority— I have nothing to do with it— But in my Opinion, M. Maurices' Sermon, Preached before the King, Jan. 30. 1681. there is a Worthy Gentleman has put your Friends into an Extraordinary Method. Whither they will follow it or no, I cannot tell; but I am apt to believe it is much more wholesome advice, than is given them by their adored Guide, to whom they bow at Sam's Coffeehouse. And therefore because they shall not be offended with me, I will give them the Gentleman's own words. It is not material (says he,) from whence bad Men derive their Principles of Disloyalty, since it is too certain, they owe all their Success and Advantages to our sins; as these increase, so do they; they have both one Common Fate, they multiply and decrease together. Our profaneness and Contempt of Religion, begets in them a Contempt of Authority and the Laws; and the neglect of that Holy Service we pretend to extol, adds greater Numbers to our Enemies than all their Art and Industry can pervert. If we would weaken that Faction, let us take away the support they have among ourselves, the Open Scandal and Viciousness of our Lives, and then they are left without pretence, and fall without our trouble. Let us confute their Reproaches by a Reformation of our manners, and detect their Hypocrisy, not by washing off the paint with satire, but by confronting their pretence and form with solid and sincere Piety. Without this, all other means will be to little purpose. Without this Loyalty is but affectation, a thing no less unserviceable than it will be uncertain. And with this I will conclude; firmly believing, if this advice were followed, all Thundering in Pulpits, and Caballing in Coffeehouses, would soon be at an End. FINIS.