Speculum Crape-Gownorum: OR, AN OLD Looking-Glass FOR THE Young Academics, new Foiled: WITH REFLECTIONS On some of the late HIGHFLOWN SERMONS▪  
To which is added, An ESSAY towards a SERMON of the Newest Fashion.  
By a Guide to the Inferior Clergy.  
The Second Edition Corrected and Enlarged.  
— Ridentem dicere Verum Quis Vetat?—  
LONDON, Printed for E. Rydal. 1682.   

WE find there are a so●t of people very much troubled to behold their deformities in this Looking-Glass, and have therefore hired that Musty-brained Fool Heraclitus, to bestow some of his Carman like● Thames-street Raillery upon it. But in re●ard that all unbyas●ed Readers, cannot but perceive that the thing was never intended to be otherwise than what it is, a mixture of old and new; since the mixture of ●olly and extravagance in the Young Clergy is still the ●ame; therefore that jack-pudding to the Bear-Garden, Heraclitus, might have spared his bankside yeast and froth till he had met with something● that he might have done more prejudice to▪ than he can do to this Looking-Glass, a Porter like-Droll, whose.  
— ●riste Caput fastidia vespillonum  
Et miseri meruit tedia Carnificis.   

'TIS a mistake— They that should Guide and Conduct the Conversation of others, run in shoals to learn Loyalty from the heavenly Discourses of Roger L'Estrange; and happy is he that can nearest approach to his directions in thei● Pulpit Harangues. There is no question to be made, but that all who understand the excellency and perfection of Church● Discipline, must confess the Church of England, under its present Constitution, to be the most Orthodox, the most pure, without the Phylacteries of Hypocritical Ceremonies, and the closest to primitive Institution of any Religion in the World. And this is further to be said for the Protestant English Clergy, that you rarely hear of any that fall under those public Scandals and Reproaches, for which the Romish Clergy, from the highest to the lowell, are loudly and so generally taxed, so tha● they sin more out of Vanity than Wickedness.  
But the Nation is so overstocked with Crape Gowns, that 'tis impossible but that in such a number there must be failings among them, subject to great Remark and Observation: An ill Omen of sick Divinity when it comes to be mantled in the shrouds appropriated for the dead. Now these men in Crape, as they are generally young, so they are generally very highly conceited. A character which they will much more advance, if they refuse to receive the Admonishments of others, as they undertake to be the Instructers of others themselves. And therefore they will do well kindly to accept of this Mirror here presented them, new foiled and furbished up, to be placed in their Studies, and looked in every morning, by which means they will be able to find the reason why some of their Churches are so empty, others so numerously thronged, and by reforming their own contemplated blemishes, gain an esteem, both of their persons and their Doctrine, more operative upon the good Opinions of the People. No Plagiary Looking-glass, as that Coxcomb Heraclitus has with a debauched, and ridiculous mummery intimated to the World.  
'Tis most certain then, that there is something which does lessen the value of many of our Clergy, and render them less serviceable to the Church, than might be reasonably hoped for: And this may be referred to two very plain things, the Ignorance of some, and the Poverty of others.  
This proceeds in part from the old fashioned Methods and Discipline of Schooling itself: by virtue of which Lads are kept till Sixteen on Seventeen Years of Age▪ in a pure slavery to a few Latin and Greek words, tormented with a tedious story how Phaeton broke his Neck, or how many Nuts and Apples Tityrus had for his Supper; and instead of being ●nticed and charmed into a Love of Learning, are well lashed into an abhorrency of their Studies.  
Add to this the inconsiderate sending of all sorts of Lads to the Universities, let their par●s be never so low and mean, the Instructions they have been ●u●ored withal never so Pedantic and contemptible, and the Purses of their friends never so bare and● short to maintain them there, if they have but the commendation of some lamentable Soul, or pitiful const●uing● Pedant, it passes for a most undoubted Approbation of the Striplings Learning, and that they will prove persons very eminent in the Church: as much as to say, if a Lad▪ though otherwise a Jolt-head, have but so much memory as to sing over to a lamentable Tune Three or Four Scanzas of lily's Poetry; if he be quick and ready to tell what's latin for all the Implements in his Father's Shop, or his Mother's Kitchen, if he can but tell a Sponde from a Dactyl; lastly, if he can give ready answers to the usual Catechism, of What is his n●me? Where went he to School; What Books he has learned? I profess a Notable Wit, cries the Pedagogue: a hopeful Youth, 'tis a Thousand pities but he should be a Scholar; he'll prove a brave Clergy man, and an excellent Preacher I warrant ye. Then away with him presently to the University, where he learns a little Logic, and a little Ethics, and to speak Truth and shame the Devil, a very little of every thing else, and then the next time you meet him, whip! he's got into the Pulpit.  
Well, when they have him at the University, what do they do with him there? There, if he be of the inferior sort, that he may not overheat his Brains with Study, he is put to Bed making, Chamber-sweeping, and Water-fetching, which are no question great preservatives against vain Philosophy.  
However, the Fellow whom he serves, cannot but in pity, if not for Conscience sake, let him glean some small morsels of his Knowledge, which costs him no more than only the expense of that time while the young ●●zar is pulling off his Master's Stockings, or warming his Nightcap: From thence he learns, Quid est Logica? Qua sunt Virtutes morales? and to number the Predicaments in their order. This being done, he takes his leave of the University, and by the first Carrier, upon a Pack, away he goes by ●low Marches into his noun Country, with a common place Book, and a Medulla Theologiae, and then have at a Parsonage; for the Gentlemen is put to his choice, either of Preaching or Starving. Now what a Champion for Truth can we expect from such a one as this? What a Raiser of Doctrines, what a Confounder of Heresy will he be? What an expounder of difficult Tex●s? What a Resolver of Cases of Conscience? And what a prudent Shepherd to his whole ●●ock?  
Now as there are some who think that Two or Three Years continuance at the University, to be time sufficient to fit a young man for being a great Instrument in the Church, so others we have so moderate, as to believe, that a solemn admission, and the paying Colledge-Duties (without the trouble of Philosophical Discourses and Disp●tations, and the like) are virtues that will influence as far as Cumberland, and improve though it be as far as St. Michael's Mou●t. So strangely are some People possessed, with the easiness and the small preparations required for the undertaking of the Ministry, that though in other Professions they plainly see what considerable time is spent by young Students, before they have any hopes of attaining to experience and Knowledge enough to practise; yet to preach to ordinary People, and govern a Country ●●ock, is usually deemed such an easy Task, that every one thinks himself fit for the employment; and that as for the knack of Preaching, as they call it, it is a perfection so easily attained, that he is esteemed a Dunce indeed, that is not able at a very small warning, to fasten upon any Text of Scripture, and to ●eize and tumble it for an hour, till the Glass be fairly run out, without the Clerks jogging▪ Though indeed a man had better commit himself to the Instructions and Teaching of an approved Cobbler or Tinker, whereby he may be duly respected according to his Art and Condition of Life, than to live only a disesteemed Empiric in Divinity.  
To supply this want of Education, many of our Youngsters seek to advance their Reputation by affected words or affected and obscure Notions: Believing either out of simple, fantastic, vain Glory, and a great ambition of being admired at, as if getting into the Pulpit were a kind of Staging, that nothing is more to be by them considered▪ than how much the Sermon procures them the gaping and staring of the People; or else to gain a respect and Reverence from the Auditors, think it convenient to puzzle them, and carry them as it were into the Clouds: Judging, that should the Ministers words be such as comes to the common Ma●ket, plain and practical, he might pass probably for an honest and well meaning man, but by no●means for that thing which he would be thought to be, a Scholar▪ Whereas if he give a spring now● and then in high Raptures towards the uppermost Heavens, dashing here and there an All● amazing word if he soars aloft in bombastical Huffs, preaches Points de●p and mystical, and delivers the● as dark and Fantastical; This is the way to be admired, and accounted a most able and profound instructor.  
Others there are that spice, and besprinkle their Harangues with Greek, and Latin Sentences. In doing of which, though they seem by their ready naming their Authors, to be very conversant with them, yet it many times proves but the gleaning of a quotation happened upon by chance; and sometimes it appears that they are better acquainted with the Character than the sense, like the Parson that being to Preach before his Diocesan, and aspiring to be more learned than ordinary at such a great time, thundered forth in the middle of his Sermon out of Museus▪ an amorous piece of Courtship between Hero and Leander▪ quite from the matter. A strange piece of ostentation to jargonize before Farmers, and Shepherds, or the Patron of the Parish specially if invested with his Lac'd-coated London Visitants; as if plain words, useful, and intelligible matter were not as good for an Esquire, or one that is in Commission of the Peace▪ as for him that holds the Plough, or mends Hedges. Another sort there are ●hat stuff their Sermons with frightful metaphors; fly to both the Indies, ransack Heaven and Earth; down to the bottom of the Sea; rummage all the Shops and Warehouses, spare neither Camp nor City, but they will have them. Nay so injudicious and impudent will they be sometimes, that the Almighty himself is often in danger of being dishonoured; but then to make amends for their unhallowed expressions, they screw in an as it were, or as I may so say: or else they come in hobbling with their ●ame Submission, or with Reverence be it spoken, as if it were not better to leave out what they foresee will be interpreted for extravagancy, than to utter that, for which their own consciences ●ell them they must be forced to lay in an Excuse beforehand.  
Some there are whose metaphorical Knack is all for the Sea, and then you shall hear of nothing but Starboard and Larr●board; Stems, Sterns and Forecastles, and such sort of Salt-water Language. Another supposes himself to be some great General, and he divides his Text into the Right and Left Wing; then he Rears it, ●lanks it, I●trenches it, Storms it; then he musters all again, to see what words we●e lost in the Skirmish▪ and so falls on again, charges through and through, routs, kills, taketh, and then Gentlemen as you were.  
Others there are that are all for lacing their Discourses with Similitudes, which are not only of little force in Argument, but very trifling and childish; especially if you consider the choiceness of the Authors out of which they are furnished. There is the never to be enough commended Lic●sthenes▪ There is that exquisite and most elaborate Piece, The Second Part of Wit's Commonwealth (mind it I pray, the Second Part, not the First.) There is besides a Book wholly consisting of Similitudes, ready fitted and applied to all Preaching Subjects, for the help of young beginners, which nevertheless they make to hit but very oddly sometimes.  
'Tis reported of a Tree that grows by the River Euphrates, the Great River Euphrates, which brings forth an Apple, to the eye very fair and tempting, but inwardly is filled with nothing but tempting and deceitful dust: Even so dust are we, and to dust we shall go.  
Our Souls gape after thee, O Lord, even as the O●●ter gapes.  
God has knit the hearts of his People in a holy Conspiracy to besiege Heaven.  
God has taken off the Bridle of Restraint from the Lips of the People.  
God was never so tempted to bow the Heavens and come down to rescue his People.  
Others drop into Obscenity like Him, who was always comparing the sinfulness of Man into Menstruous Clouts.  
Others fetch their Similitudes from the Skies. The mercy of God in sending his Son into the world▪ was a signal mercy, it was Zodiacal mercy. I say, it was truly Zodiacal. For Christ keeps within the Tropics: he never goes out of the Pale of the Church. But yet he is not always at the same distance from a Believer▪ Sometimes he withdraws himself into the Apogeum of doubt, ●orrow and despair; but then he comes again into the Perigeum of joy, content and assurance: but as for Heathens and unbelievers, they are Arctic ●nd Antarctic Reprobates.  
A true Believer, my Beloved is like a Cat, throw a Cat up, throw her down, she will still light upon her Legs: So let Afflictions ●oss a Believer any way, he will still light upon the Legs of Faith. The blots and blurs of our 〈◊〉 must be taken away by the Aquafortis of our tears; a most Chemical expression.  
Can any man imagine how the People sighed and cried, when the Parson made this Metaphysical Confession for them? Omnipotent All, Thou art Only, because Thou art All, and because thou Only art. As for us, We are not; for we are but Mites of Entity, and Crumbs of something. As if the Common People were bound to understand Suarez, and the School Divines.  
Did not he do well who taught that Christ was a Shopkeeper, a Treasury of all sorts of Wares and Commodities, and thereupon tearing his wide Throat, cried ●ut, Good People, what d'ye lack, what d' ye buy? Will ye have any Balm of Gilead, any Eye salve, any Myrrh, Aloes, or Cassia? Shall I fit ye with a Robe of Righteousness, or with a white Garment▪ see here, what is't you want▪ here's a choice Armoury▪ Shall I show you a Helmet of Salvation, a Shield, or Breast plate of Faith? Or will you please to walk in, and see some precious Stones, a jasper, a Saphyr, or a Calced●n; what d'ye buy?  
It would be an endless thing to reckon up all the follies that have been Preached and Printed of this kind. Yet th●re is one of a Person that pretended to great Eloquence in his time, who advising the People to run to the Lord, told them, they could not run to the Lord, much less go without feet. There are therefore two feet, to run to the Lord: Fai●●, and Prayer. 'Tis plain that Faith is a foot, for 2 Cor. 1. By Faith we stand; and that Prayer is a Spiritual ●eg▪ appears from jonah 2. 7. My Prayer came into thy Holy Temple. Heb. 4. 16. Let us therefore go unto the Throne of 〈◊〉: there being no coming, and going to the Lord without the Leg of Prayer. The same Person added, now that these feet may be able to bear us thither, we must put on the Hose of Faith. For the Apostle says, Our feet must be shod with the preparation of the Gospel. Was it not elegantly observed, That Goodness was the milky way to Jupiter 's Palace. But that which follows was far more neat and curious, full of fancy, and worthy imitation upon those words of St. john; These things I write unto you, that ye sin not. The observation was, That it is the purpose of the Scripture to drive men to Heaven, which he made out thus; The Scriptures contain Doctrines, Precepts, Promises, threatenings, and Histories. Now take these five Stones, and put them into the scrip of the heart, and throw them with the sling of Faith by the hand of a strong resolution, against the forehead of sin, and we shall see it fall before us like Goliath. Now if these things flow naturally, or that a young Levite can blow'em out of his Nose, how happy is he that can s●oop in his Pulpit, and make use of his Handkerchief, how easy a thing is it to drill out an hour in tickling the Auditor's Ears with Parables. But it they come hard, heavens bless us! how does that poor man labour to make an Ass of himself? for Similitudes without Judgement are the most ridiculous things in the world: as for example, the Round Earth cannot fill the Triangular Heart of Man. A most pithy expression to set forth the ambition of Mankind. An Error to be laughed at by the Butcher's Boys, who know that the heart is no more triangular than a Town-Top.  
The next Ornament of modern Preaching is, Chiming of words, as Faith, Hope and Charity, Hope, Faith and Charity. Or thus, like the second Peal-changes at St. Pulchers, Revelation's a Lady, Reason the Handmaid, Revelation's the Esquire, Reason the Handmaid, Revelation's the Sun, Reason the Moon: Then by and by Reason leads, Reason is good, but Revelation much better; Reason is a Counsellor, Revelation is a Lawgiver; Reason is the Candle; Revelation the Snuffer. Not unlike this was the jingling determination between the old Covenant and the new. The old Covenant was of works, the new one of Faith; the old Covenant was by Moses, the new by Christ; the old Covenant was before, the new one afterwards. The old was first, the new one was second. All which being undeniable Truths, there was an end of the business.  
To come now to the method of Preaching, you would think they came into the Pulpit to vent their whimsies and conceits, rather than to Preach sound Doctrine.  
First, before the division of the Text, there must be a Preface, wherein it is of great consequence to make the Text like something or other, according to the dictates of his ingenious fancy. One simpers upon his Auditory, and now methinks, quo he, My Text, like an ingenious Picture, looks upon all here present; in which both Nobles and People may behold their sin and danger represented. This was a Text taken out of Hosea; but what if it had been taken out of any other place? why still it might have been an ingenious Picture, had the Gentleman so pleased. For it was a conceit calculated for the meridian of any Text. And truly in my opinion so were all these that follow. Says one, I might compare my Text to the Mountains of Bether, where the Lord disports himself as a young Hart, or a pleasant Roe among the Spices. And there was no question but he did so; for 'tis to be supposed there was no body so unmannerly as to hinder him. Says another, My Text is like the Rod of Moses, to divide the waves of sorrow; or like the Mantle of Elijah, to restrain the swelling floods of Grief. The first man's Text for my money; what say you? I say this man's— no, you are out— the first man's allusion runs higher. You shall have another climb up to his Text, as thus; As Solomon went up six steps to the Throne of Ivory▪ so must I as●end six degrees to come to the high meaning of my Text. Cries another, as Deborah arose▪ and went with Barak to Kadesh; so if you will go with me and call in at the third verse of the Chapter I will show you the meaning of my Text. I assure ye, very pretty conceits, both; it would gravel a man which to choose. There are besides these several other sorts of Texts; and truly 'tis well there are, for store is no sore. One like an Orchard of Pome-Granates. Another like St. Matthew sitting at the receipt of Custom; a third like the Dove that Noah sent out of his Ark. There have been several Texts like Rachel and Leah▪ there is one Genesis more wonderful, like a pair of Compasses straddling; and another much more wonderful than that, Like a Man going to jericho.  
The Text being thus chosen, and ascertained what it is like, must in the next place be divided, and by and by you shall see an Orchard of Pome-Granates so strangely transinogrifyed, that you would never think it the same thing, and a man going to jericho so mangled and minced that 't would grieve ye to see't. Nevertheless you must know there is a great difference in the nature of Texts, for some naturally fall asunder, some drip asunder, some dr●p asunder▪ and some melt. There are some Texts that untwist; and in others the words are so willing to be parted, that they divide themselves. On the other side sometimes they meet with a sort of Texts, so like Logwood, that they are forced to divide 'em six or seven times before they can make 'em split to their minds.  
But then, O then, there's the delight of their Souls, when the sentence ends with a jingling Rhyme, and cries clink i' the close; as accusatio vera comminatio severa: D●i Amor, Diaboli clamour; miraculum in modo, miraculum in ●●do. These were Ticklers: But commend me to him that took these words for his Text. Mat. 12. 43. 44. 45. When the unclean Spirit is gone out of a man, be walketh thorough dry places, seeking rest and finding none; Then he saith, I will return, etc. In which words wonderful things were found out almost past imagination, first there was a Captain and a Castle. Then there was an Ingress, an Egress, a Regress, and Reingresses; all these things followed of consequence, in regard of the Castle. But then there was unroosting, and unresting; for the Castle was taken. Then there was number and name; that was in reference to the Garrison. Then their was Manner, & Measure, Trouble, and Trial▪ Resolution and Revolution, Assault, and Assassination, Voydness, and Vacuity. Thus you see by the lucky finding out that Captain, and that Castle, what a world of other business fell in course. This 'tis to have an exuberant fancy, and to have one Eye i' the Air, and another upon his Text.  
But more to be admired was he, that out of these eight words, Weep not for me, but for yourselves, spun out no less than eight parts. 1. Weep not, 2. But Weep. 3. Weep not, but Weep. 4. Weep for me. 5. For yourselves. 6. For me, for yourselves. 7. Weep not for me. 8. But for yourselves. This Gentleman had a strange Command of his tears, Nay he could weep and not weep, he was Weeping Master General of England. Every Man to his calling: the Soldier to his, Prime your Pan, cock your Match, blow your Coal, Present, etc. The Weeper to his, Weep, weep not, weep not for me, for yourselves, weep and not weep; Who would not go to this Gentleman's grieving School for an hour or so, to hear how prettily these words of command run?  
Nor was he to be less respected, who taking his Text out of Gen. 48. 2. And one told jacob, and said, Behold thy Son joseph ●ometh unto thee, presently made it out to the People that his Text was a Spiritual Dyal For said he, Here are in my Text twelve words, which do plainly▪ represent the twelve Hours▪ Twelve words and one told Jacob, behold thy Son joseph cometh unto thee, Here is farther, behold, which is the Dyal that turns & points at every word in the Text. Behold And, behold one, behold I told, behold jacob, Again behold, And, behold Said, behold, behold, which is the reason that this word behold is placed in the middle of the twelve words, indifferently pointing at each.  
Now for the Doctrines, Observations, and Inferences raised from their Texts, they are without all Compare.  
One takes for his Text, that of Isaiah 41. 14, 15. Fear not thou worm Jacob, etc. thou shalt thresh the Mountains. Whence he observed that the Worm Jacob was a threshing Worm.  
A second from the Text Gen. 44. 1. And he commanded the Steward of his house, saying, fill the men's Sacks with Corn, as much as they can carry, played this division upon the plain song, That great Sacks and more Sacks, would hold more than few Sacks and little Sacks: For look, said he as they came prepared with Sacks and Beasts, so they were sent back with Corn. The greater and the more Sacks they had prepared, the more Corn they carried away, the lesser and fewer they had, the less Corn they carried away▪ Let the World judge whether this Gentleman was not resolved to speak truth.  
No less careful of uttering truth was he, that upon john 2. v. 15. And when he had made a Scourge of small Cords, he drove them all out of the Temple, made this Discovery; 1. That a Scourge might be made in the Church or Temple, And when he had made a Scourge. 2. That it might be made use of, ● he drove them out of the Temple. Upon Matth. 4. 25. And there followed him great multitudes of People from Galilee, he proved another Columbus, thus, I discover, says he, when jesus prevails with us, we shall leave our Galilees. 2. I discover also a great Miracle, that the way after Jesus being straight, that such a multitude● should follow him. But never was Hawk more quick ●ighted than he upon Matth. 5. 1. And seeing the multitude, he went up into the mountain; where he discovered, 1. That Christ went from the Multitude; 2. That it was safer taking warning by our Eyes; for seeing the multitude he went up. 3. That it was not always fit to be upon plains and flats with the Multitude: Then upon the latter part of the words, And when he was set, his Disciples came unto him; he discovered, 1st, That Christ was not always in motion. 2dly, That he did not walk upon the Mountain but ●at; from whence, in the 3d place, he raised this Admonition to the People, That when they were teaching, they should not move too much, for that was to be carried away with every wind of Doctrine: unheard of curiosities! O these University Wits! there are no men in the World like 'em. Will ye have a short & witty Discovery? mind this upon Mat. 6. 27. Which of you by taking thought can add one Cubit to his Stature? The Discovery was▪ That whilst the Disciples were taking thought for a Cubit, Christ thought fit to take them down a Cubit lower. How divinely was he inspired, that made the following Discoveries upon Matth. 8. 2. When he came down from the Mountain great Multitudes followed him. 1. That Christ came down, as well as he went up. 2▪ That the Multitude did not go hail fellow well met with him. Such a man as this deserved a good Living; for he spoke nothing but upon solid grounds. But now here's a discovery deserves to be recorded in History. Matth. 12. 47. Than one said unto him, behold, thy Mother▪ and thy Brethren stand without; but he answered and said, who is my Mother, and who are my Brethren? upon which he discovered, that Jesus was upon Business.  
Others there are, who being appointed, or choosing to preach upon some point of Divinity, avoid the plain and easy places, tending or relating to that Subject▪ and fetch it in by Head and Shoulders out of foreign Texts nothing at all to the purpose; which shows a great Master piece of Learning; for then the People cry, I could not Imagine what Mr. such a one drove at; but yet at length how cunningly he brought it in.— He's a acquaint man. Suppose for Example, that a young Gentleman were to preach up Episcopacy, you shall have him balk all other Texts and take this, Sirs, what shall I do to be saved? For the Greek word for Sirs, being Lords, therefore they were bishops that were spoken to. Another being to preach up Kingly Government, forsook all other Topics, and chose that of the Evangelist, Seek first the Kingdom of God. From whence he proved that Kingly Government was most pleasing to God▪ And indeed, but that some men are not so apprehensive as others, the thing is plain; for the Text does not say the Commonwealth of God, nor the Aristocracy of God, but the Kingdom of God. But what could be more acquaint than this? Suppose I were to preach against non Residence; I would scorn the common road●● Why? What would you do? Oh! I have it i'my head already, I would choose that of Matth. 1. 2. Abraham begat Isaac. For (and I wonder how a man could miss it) had Abra●am gone a gadding abroad, and not resided with Sarah, he had never done his business, he had never begat Isaac.  
If there be any who think I enumerate these things out of disaffection, they have as little Charity for me, as they have for themselves, there being nothing more frequent among them, than Envy, Passion, Repining, and supplanting of each other. There is certainly a most profound and awful Reverence to be paid to a true, ●ound, and Orthodox Teacher and Expounder of sacred Writ; but for every Whiffler in Divinity to arrogate that esteem to himself, merely for his Habits sake, without intrinsecal worth, is a mere presumption. They should labour by imitation of their betters, to gain that esteem, which would be then their due. But instead of following their Studies, as they ought to do, you shall find some idleing away their time in Coffee Houses, and chattering State Affairs, which nothing belong to them. Others you shall meet handing young brisk Ladies in the street; a most unseemly ●ight to see long Gowns and Petticoats together; as if there were not laced Cravats and Ruffles enough about the Town for that amorous employment: To say truth, we have too much prating in England, especially in great Cities, where the Bells never lie still all the Week long, from Six a Clock in the morning, till Five at night. And all this to feed the Qstentation of our Pulpit-Thrashers. And yet all this while even Preaching itself, is, without all doubt, not to be accounted so essential a part of Divine Worship, as Prayer is. In which assertion I take the greater boldness, knowing that Sermons are only well studied Exhortations, and methodised Instructions, whose chiefest end is but to incite men to the duty of Prayer, or ●each 'em the right use thereof. An Exercise confined within the narrow limits only of Industry and sound Learning; of which great Perfections there are but ●ew of your common Hackney Sermon-makers, that are too too much guilty. Were Sermons therefore less frequent, they would be much more valued: For than would men have time to meditate, and their abortive Irreverences would not drop so often from their Mouths, without Soul or Life, as not having stayed their time in the Womb of Meditation. I will appeals to the reason of any man, whether it be within the Verge of Mortality, for a person to Preach at Six of the Clock in the Morning in Cornhill, by Ten at St. Martin's Outwich, and in the Afternoon to be posted out of Town Six or Seven Miles with a Job of Journey work, to please a Benefactor in the Country. Nor is this all, three or four casts of his Office on the Week days, and his hand always open at an hours warning for a Funeral Fee besides▪ Surely such a one must have a large stock of ready cut and dryad to set up withal, or must be a great Conner of other men's works, or else it is impossible that such a superabundance should be other than the riff-raff, and quicquid in Buccam venerit of a mercenary Brain. Neither is this one single Doctors opinion. I find that Reverend and Learned Prelate, Bishop Andrews, confessing his own insufficiency to Preach twice in one day, and giving to his Afternoon Exercises the severe appellation of Prating. Which shall we follow then? The light of such a Star of the first Magnitude in the Firmament of the Church of England? Or the Clouded Reflections of mere Divinity Meteors, that run whisking up and down to vent their undigested conceits, as the Wind of their Fantastical Doctrines agitates 'em? What a strange piece of ridiculous Devotions it is, that half a Score Astrologizing Conjurers cannot meet over a Leg of Muttony and Colli-●lowers, but they must have a pickled Sermon to prepare their Stomaches. A Usurer cannot die, a man perhaps that got the very Reward of his Funeral Oration over the Devils Back, but he must have a Sermon forsooth, in praise of what he never had, his laudable Virtues.  
But these are accounted helps, or additions, to an ordinary living. And truly if double diligence were a Trade, this double Diligence and carking good Husbandry might be excused, to satisfy the clamours o● a Wife for a new Gown, or a fine Petticoat. But it is not for those unjustifiable expenses, or to maintain the Pride of Parson's Wives, that there should be a due, and competent maintenance allowed the Clergy, but to preserve them from that contempt that falls upon poverty. For, 
Nil habet inf●lix paupertas durius in se  
Quam quod ridiculos homines facit.—   
'Tis a sad thing to see so many young Officers in Divinity sneaking in several Villages of the Nation with a lamentable exhibition of ten or fifteen pounds p. Annum, and either teaching the meanest of the Parish, or learning themselves to drink Ale, and smoke Tobacco i'the Chimney-corner at old ●ammer such a ones House, while he that enjoys the larger profits of the same Parish, is taking his pleasure in some place of more benefit, and better a dorned with pleasing Society. And indeed there is nothing can be thought to have more hindered the People from a due estimation of the commonprayer or Liturgy of the Church, than the employing so many pit●●ul striplings, and illiterate old mumblers to read those sacred Forms of Prayer: Not does any thing more keep back the dissatisfied People of the Nation, from coming to Church till the Service be over, than that it is hurried over by some underling twelve pound a year Disciple, with whose Education they are so well acquainted as to know him scarce able to read the Lessons without cunning them over. For though the Office of a Reader be only to read word for word, yet People love he should be a person that understands what he reads. But if such a one ventures into the Pulpit, 'tis then a hundred to one but he pra●es all the Congregation asleep; for 'tis a hard matter for the people to believe that such a one can talk any thing to the purpose, that wants ordinary food for his Family, whose best meal all the week is the Tanner's Beef and Pudding for his empty Sermon on ●unday▪ or that his advice and admonitions can come from Heaven, of whom Providence seems to have taken so little care. Were true virtue and right Judgement reigning in the hearts of men, such idle prejudices would vainly be supposed, and the Doctrine that proceeded from the most tattered habit, would be as acceptable as the sayings that flowed from he mouth of one clad in Silk. But in regard the world is not so absolutely perfect, it is never to be questioned whether the Alms-Man-Teacher of a Parish can be respected by those to whom he is beholding for his daily Bread. Whether the that cant look out of his Pulpit into the Church but that he spies one or other, upon whom he depends, and for want of money has not confidence to reprehend his Sex●on, can utter with courage any thing that can be so benefical to his people, as to render them his diligent hearers, and hearty respecters.  
The Divine Service 'tis true is the same, whether read in a Cathedral, or a Thatched Church; whether read by an Archbishop, or the meanest of his Priests. But as the Solemnity of the place has a great influence upon the people's devotion, so likewise the condition, and quality of the person that reads it, whose circumstances, as to this life are so bad, and low in this world. Nor do they delight to confess their sins, or sing praises to God with him who sighs more for want of money, and Victuals, than for his trespasses, and offences.  
Nor indeed can this well otherwise be. For where the Minister is hard pinched as to the tolerable conveniences of this life; the chief of his care must be spent, not in considering what Text to take, what Doctrine to Preach, what Authors to make use of; but the chief of his thought must be how to live, and provide for his Family. He is musing when the next comfortable, and seasonable Goose, or the next Basket of baked Pears will come to cherish his forlorn Stomach: and how he shall hold out till his small offerings come in. He is pining after the consolations of the next Christening Cakes, and the comforts of the next Marriage, or Funeral. In the midst of these fears, disasters of great consequence attack him. The uncompassionate Kite surprises two of his unfortunate Chickens out of the number of three: his only Sow miscarries: His Neighbour's Horse breaks his Hedge, and devours the sustenance of his si●gle Cow. To him the los●es of a Spanish Merchant, and far more distracting; nay we'll suppose him sometimes forced to mount his slow-paced Pegasus, between a pair of Dossers, to carry his brace of Geese to Market, for the return of a brown Loaf, and a hard Cheese: Cares which are altogether incompatible with Study. The other are considerations befitting a poor man's thoughts. For a Family cannot be governed by Texts and Contexts▪ not will the Infant that lies crying in the Cradle be satisfied without a little milk, and perhaps a little Sugar too, though there should be some short System of Divinity in the House.  
But grant that our Diminutive Divine be at somewhat more rest in his mind, and that he have some kind of competency to answer the cravings of Humane Nature; yet not being able to purchase the necessary helps of good Books, it is impossible he should eve● attain to those accomplishments which are requisite to gain him that esteem which should give him credit in his Preaching▪ For it is not a small sixpenny Concordance, nor a Latin Book of Sentences, no● Caryl upon Pin●da, nor Dod upon the Commandments, not Clarks lives of Famous Men, wherein many things are taken upon trust, that will do the work. Divinity is a copious study; and there are so many great men that have writ upon the Subject in all its parts, as require the purchase of more Languages than one: so that they who are disenabled from the purchasing part, are no way to be entrusted with the teaching par●. A great pity no doubt, that thus it should be, for there are certainly no doubt, several in this condition, whose better parts and ingenuities are curbed and depressed by these Domestic necessities. For, 
Ha●d facile emergunt, quorum virtutibus obstat  
Res angusta domi—   
But such is the eagerness, and ambition that some people have of going in●o Orders, that though the Churches, and Chapels we have, are enough, considering the bigness of the Nation, yet in respect of that infinite number that are in holy Orders, there is a very great want▪ Now whether it be most convenient to make Ministers for Churches, or Churches for Ministers is the Question. But the Proverb is, talk of any thing but building of Churches. For if we build more Churches, we must make more Land for their endowment: which cannot be done without drying up the Sea, and that's a very difficult Task.  
However they will get into Orders▪ come what will of it, though perhaps they understand neither their message nor their business. For some are hugely in love with the mere Title of a Priest, or Minister; others fancy tha● a●long Crape Gown and Cassock is a handsome garment, though it be in the Winter, and never paid for. But if they get but a Scarf about their Necks, by virtue of a Chaplainship in some Noble Family, then how big they look in an English Booksellers Shop? for the Latin ones they seldom haunt, as being out of their sphere. From thence they cluster to the Coffee House, there to order the Government, and rail against the Dissenters, men of far more understanding than themselves, and show an equal composition of discretion, learning, and Charity, of each two drams; their discretion in meddling with those things that nothing concern them▪ their learning in the management of their Arguments, and their Charity in the continual invectives against they know not who themselves, and of whom they know no more by due proof, but that they are their fellow Christians. 'Twas a happy invention for the Crape Gown Men this setting up of Coffeehouses; For to drink in Taverns was scandalous, to be seen in an Alehouse more unbeseeming; but to sit idling away their time in a Coffeehouse, like the Disciples of H●ly and Mahomet, till it be time to go to farthing Lantralew with a young Gentlewoman, that's an employment without the verge of reprehension: Especially if they can be heard to rail loud enough, like the Pope's white Boys, against Heresy, Schism, and Fanaticism. But what's become of Rome, and the so much exclaimed against Babylon? Those are Airy Notions now, Fanaticism and Dissenterism is the mode now, and as they are modish in their Habits, they think it more convenient to be modish in their Sermons. Besides the Papists are a sort of cunning Fellows, they argue shrewdly, they dispute Philosophically and Metaphysically. And there be many knotty points in controversy between them and the Church of England, which cost King james, Archbishop Laud, and several others, much pains and labour in those days to re●ute, and of late have put Bp. Gunning, Bp. Barlow, and Dr. Stilling fleet to look to their Hits: And therefore our Crape Gown men think it more convenient to let them alone, than to betray their folly and their ignorance. But for the fanatics, they are more easily dealt with: 'Tis but going into a Pulpit and calling a man Fanatic, and he's presently confuted with a jerk; 'tis but calling a Dissenter Schismatic; 'tis but calling Religion Division, and there's an end of the business. The Observator's learned half Sheets come easily at a Penny a piece; but Grotiu's Works will cost Four Pounds odd money, and that will go far in a new Crape Gown, and a narrow brimmed Hat, with a Periwig to boot. And therefore who would not choose a lazy Coffee●drinking Life, with the pleasure of good Company, and suffer themselves to be deluded back to the vomit of Popery, though to their own destruction, than undergo the labour of a studious Life, and improving themselves in the soundness of that Doctrine which they outwardly profess? But let them consider how vainly they contend to suffocate what God has so miraculously detected; let them consider the inconveniences of being led astray by mercenary Scribblers against the discoveries of Heaven; let them consider how wonderfully Providence has protected the Church of England, of which they pretend themselves the Sons and Children, against all the various and bloody Machinations of Popery against it, ever since the first dawn of Reformation; and upon these considerations let them at length give over their cologuing adherence to the Fascinations of Rome, bearing in mind that assertion of sacred Writ, That there is no Enchantment against Jacob, nor Divination against Israel, the lot of God's Inheritance, and his peculiar care.  
But then again, how strangely conceited are they, that after a long consideration, serious meditation, and recollection of mind, are so vain as to put their Conumdrums, their Quibbles, and their Quibus' in Print? I met the other day with the quaintest Raptures and Ecstasies in a Bathonian Sermon, Preached and Printed by a Golden Minister, that certainly the Wit of Man never invented spr●cer, 'Twas a Plot upon himself, to make himself the Chrysostom● of the Age. You shall see how he plays with the Greek, as a Cat plays with a Mouse.  
H●st thou a Kepha●algia, does thy Head ache? Hast thou an Opthalmia, are thine Eyes inflamed? Hast thou an Aphonia, is thy Speech taken from the? Hast thou an Osphyalgia, do thy Loins chasten thee in the night season? Mark▪ my Beloved, that Seraphic Interpretation of the word Osphyalgia. Hast thou a Volvulus Inte●●●●orum, a Miserere me●, and forced to cry out, Oh, my Bowels, my Bowels! Hast thou a Kakocroia, is thy Body turned black and sallow? Hast thou a Paralysis, is the use of thy Limbs taken from thee? This is called playing at Shuttlecock with Greek words. What man of sense could have refrained from laughing in the Church, to have heard such a piece of Pulpit Buffoonery.  
The same Person from job. 26. 21. undertakes to prove that the Bill of Exclusion was contrary to Scripture, and that the Parliament were a Company of hot Headed fellows, for reprimanding and making Thompson kneel at their Bar. Now would I fain know what job had to do with the Bill of Exclusion, or the Parliaments severity. But Heavens bless us, when some men get into a Pulpit, they are so rampant, so hoytie toytie, they know not where their Tails hang. In the next place commend me to that incomparable and admirable Translation of a piece of Latin, printed by the Ludgate Excommunicator, Nunquam nec Albiani▪ nec Nigriani, nec Cassiani▪ inveniri▪ potuerunt Christiani: that is, Never was true Christian found a Traitor to his Prince. This 'tis to have a sharpness and accuteness of Wit beyond the common reach of Mankind.  
Now lastly, I cannot but admire at that delicate Inscription that▪ was printed upon the Portigo of a Nuptial Harangue. The Royal Merchant, or a Sermon, by which you are to understand, that the two married couple were to take a Trading Voyage to Matrimony, and that Matrimony is a Trading Voyage.  
Whether what hath been said will have any operation upon our Crape Gown men▪ or no, I know not; But that they may see how ridiculous they are when they stand fretting, and fuming, and heating themselves about State Affairs in their Pulpits, they are desired to read the short Sermon that follows, which if it be not altogether their own words, I am sure is altogether their own sense.   

The SERMON.  
RABELAIS, Chap. 32. Virtue nescio quo.  
The Grandgousier sending to know what the matter was, found that some of his people had taken certain Simnels from the Subjects of Picrochol.  
MAn of all Creatures is the only creature that proposes to himself an Aim and an End in what he does. For Man is the only Creature that Thinks. Yet there be some that say the Beasts do think as well as he. Rorarius for one: Who that Rararius was, I cannot tell: I must confess I never read him, but I have heard say so, and that's enough. Neither do I believe a word he says: And my great Argument is this; for that it is impossible that a Beast should have Reason. You'll say perhaps, What is this to the purpose? I come not here to extol my own parts, as being the meanest of my Tribe. But the sight of so many Worthy persons as I behold in this Assembly, inspires me, methinks, with higher thoughts. Therefore it is that I have led ye out of the way, that I might have the happiness to lead ye into the way: therefore it is that I have carried ye afar off, that I might have the opportunity to take ye all by the hands & lead ye home again to my Text. My Text, that is like a shady gloomy Wood; where, as I may say, a man cannot see Wood from Trees. Here is in my Text a certain Meaning and profound Sense to be found out, that lies concealed among Bushes and Underwoods'. And thus it is a frequent thing among us, after a long hunting to start a Hare in a Wood; and then we pursue the little Animal with a full Cry. And thus, my beloved, as I have brought ye into a Wood, so I must endeavour to help ye out again. Here is a certain person in a brown Study, pondering, and meditating, and considering with himself; and at length, after a serious exercise of his Thoughts, he found there was something in the Wind: And therefore he sent to know what was the matter. So then▪ my beloved, here is the Hoti, and the Dioti. Here is the Hoti, because he found there was something in the Wind: And here is the Dioti, therefore he sent to know what was the matter: Then Grandgousier▪ sending to know what was the matter, found, etc. Here is then the Person, Grandgousier: Here is the person that sent: Here is the person that sent to know: Here is the person that sent to know what was the matter. Then here is the person that found: Here is the person that found out, the person that found out that some of his Subjects; that some of his Subjects had taken away the Simnels from Picrochols people. Then here is Grandgousier the King; a King that sought, a King that sent, a King that found, a King that found out what was the matter: In a word▪ a King that made a great discovery. He was a King, for he had power: He sent; he sent and found out; he did not send by the Penny-post-men of little value, he sent persons of Wisdom and Discretion; persons that sought▪ persons that sought and found. Verum enim vero quando quidem dubio procul quoniam ita certe● res se habet, quoth St. Bernard; and therefore in the management of State-affairs, as it behoves a Prince to have wise and discreet Counsellors about him; So that Prince who has not, shall never make those Discoveries which otherwise he might. For it is plain from my Text, that a King did, and a King may make a Discovery. But forsooth, we have a sort of people in this Nation that will have the King make no discoveries; that would have him be altogether in the dark: I have 'em in my eye, and I shall have a touch with 'em presently. Well then, here is a Discovery made by Grandgousier, that his Subjects, that his Subjects had taken away, that they had taken away the Simnels from Picrochol's people: Then Grandgousier, sending to know what the matter was, found that some of his people had taken certain Simnels from Picrochol's people. Leaving therefore the first part of my Text, I shall come to the Discovery, the Discovery made of the Simnels being taken away by Picrochol's people. Of all which in their order.  
The word Discovery, in the Hebrew jetour, in the Greek Apocalypsis, in the Latin Detectio, signifies the disclosing of a thing concealed: and indeed we have had of late years strange Discoveries. Discoveries of Popish Plots, Meal●tub Plots, and Presbyterian Plots. As for the two first, I believe nothing of them: For Rome and we are agreed: And why the Pope or the Papists should plot against us, I neither can nor will understand. And besides it is contrary to the Doctrine of Sam's Coffee-house: But for the Presbyterian Plot, I believe it from my heart: For the Presbyterians, my beloved, are the Subjects of Grandgousier, and so are all the rest of the Dissenters, and fanatics. Grandgousier signifies Rebellion in the original: and therefore saith that Famous Origen, Sufficit nobis quod cognoscimus Patrem Ga●agantuae, & abolebitur nomen eju●. Now than Grandgousier's Subjects are discovered; and so there's the first thing made out, that is the Discovery. And here I must tell ye, my beloved, that there is a great contention between the Subjects of Grandgousier▪ and us that are the people of Picrochol, concerning the Succession. Now we have disputed and argued the Case among ourselves, and we find the Succession to be as plain as the Sun at noonday: For David begat Solomon, Solomon begat Rehoboam, and so onward, and still you see they succeeded one another. And though I will not be so severe as to blame every particular Parliament man; yet this I dare be bold to say, they carried the business higher than they needed to have done: For Loyalty is Loyalty, according to the words of St. Cyprian; Toyaute taute Foberot●ton Hapantoon tan tan toon toon. Neither can Loyalty be Disloyalty, not Disloyalty be Loyalty. Now as there are signs of Grace, so there are certain signs of Loyalty. In the first place, for a man to wear ● Scarlet Twist under his Hatband, is a great sign of Loyalty: For there is a strange Sympathy between the Heart and the Hat. As the Heart moves, so the Hat moves: If the Heart be dutiful and respectful, off goes the Hat. A disloyal Heart, a disloyal Hat: Which we find too true by the Quakers themselves; who will neither put off their Hats, nor Swear before a Magistrate, Two great marks of Disloyalty. I remember, my beloved, that Pantagr●el dreamt a Dream, and his Dream was this: he dreamt that he was beloved and caressed by a fair ●ady; but at length, that he was metamorphosed into a Drum, and the Lady into Madam Madge Owlet. So it is with the Quakers, while the Lady Faction caresses them in their fond Dreams: but the time is coming, and I hope to see it, when they shall be turned into Drums; that is, be rattled and thumped till they roar again; and Faction shall be turned into a Female. Buzzard, according to that of the Poet; Hystero●, tantomen megalopton otera whyon. Again, my beloved, Scarlet is a Royal Colour: The Robes are Scarlet; and therefore they that wear Scarlet Twists i' their Hats, must of necessity be true blue, as they say. For the Twist signifies Allegiance; and Scarlet signifies Cordial, as being the colour of the Heart. So put both together, the Twist and the Scarlet, and there's Cordial Allegiance.  
The second mark of Loyalty, is to drink the D.'s health, and cry Huzzah— If you stamp upon your Hat at the same time, 'tis still a sign of a more transported Loyalty. For by trampling upon your Hats, you show you readiness to throw your Lives and Fortunes at his Feet. But to return to the word Huzzah— It is a word of a most sublime signification— It was invented for the use of the Knights of the Order of St. Dive Bo●●eille, as you may read in Iosephus' Antiquities of the jews. Some derive it from the Hebrew word Hoz, which signifies Wealth or Riches, to show that when you drink the D.'s Health, and cry Huzzah, you drink it out of the abundance of your Loyalty. Others derive this Seraphic Huzzah from the Hebrew word Hazah, to snore or be sleepy; and than it carries with it this signification: That no man ought to snore or sleep when the D.'s Health is drinking; or if he do, that he ought to be waked i'the Devils Name with a Huzzah.—  
There is one more sign of Loyalty, and that is when you hear a acquaint Notion stream from our lips, or the fanatics run down with a powerful Sa sa, and a whipping, quipping jerk, to cry Hum,— hum,— hum,— We love Humming mightily— nay, we'll give you liberty to cry Huzzah,— i'the Church too, so it be out of a cordinal affection to Humming.  
Thus you have the Discovery, and the Discovery made. And now I come to the Third part, and that is the Sim●els, or the taking away of the Simnels.  
Upon the opening of these Words, the Cabinet of my Text discloses unto you three things. First, That the Simnels were taken away. Secondly, The persons that did take them away, viz. The Subjects of Grandgousier. And thirdly, from whom; from the people of Picrochol.  
And first of the first, That is, of the taking away of the Simnels. Here it is plain, from the Words of my Text, that there was a wrong and injury done; the Simnels were taken away. Not willingly, you may be sure; for else there had been no c●use of complaint; but by force, by violence, against Law, and against Reason these Simnels were taken away, Violentia extra modum est violentia Carnalis, saith Origen; the fittest Author in the World to be quoted u●on this Subject. For as he made himself an Eunuch and guelt himself; so would the Subjects of Grandgousier, the Subjects of Rebellion, geld us of our Simnels, take away our Simnels by ●orce and violence. Now, my beloved, me thinks I hear you ask me what these Simnels are? These Simnels, my beloved, are the Rights and Privileges of us Churchmen.  
These are the Simnels which the Subject of Grandgousier, the fanatics and Dissenters, men that will not cry Huzzah— nor wear Scarlet Twists in their Hats, would take away from us. There is our Simnel of Bowing at the Altar: There is our Simnel of the Surplice: There is our Simnel of Ecclesiastical Jurisdiction, and that has many Plum● in it. The Plums of Commendation: The Plums of Excommunication: The Plums of Endictments, Fining and Imprisonment for Conscience sake. Then there is our choicest Simnel of all, the Simnel of our Livings and Tithes. And lastly, there is our Simnel of Succession: For the Duke's Case is a hard Case, my beloved; the Scripture tells us so. All these Simnels, my beloved would the fanatics, the Subjects of Grandgousier, take from us by force and violence. Now if the King and the Council, and the Lord Mayor, and the Justices of the Peace, will not mind these things, we are to put them in mind of their duty, and their neglect of the Church. And then again, if the State do think the fanatics to be ill Members of the Nation, disturbers of the Government, and do prosecute them for that reason, then are we to encourage the State, to bring Texts of Scripture for the State; then are we to run with the Stream of public business, to Gloze and Flatter like true Politicians, and all this that we may not lose another Simnel of ours, which is the sweet Simnel of Preferment. Were I now to preach before a great Magistrate that had the Power in his hands, I would say, My Lord, you bear not the Sword in vain— The fanatics, the fanatics, the Subjects of Grandgousier, the Sons of Rebellion, my Lord, would take our Simnels, our Rites and Privileges from us. Where are all your Penal Statutes, your Fines, and Imprisonments? Let'em be fined and imprisoned, nay hanged my Lord. Let'em be excommunicated. Do you send'em to us, and we'll excommunicate 'em, and then we'll send'em to you again, and do you send 'em to 〈◊〉, my Lord. What's the reason we have not Juries and Common-council-men for our turn? The Land mourns for the sins of Juries and Common-council-men. And it is your, and other Magistrate's duty to look after these things. Now if my Lord should say, Trouble not your heads with these things that nothing concern ye; Do you endeavour to refute and convince them of their Errors by sound Doctrine and good example of Life: Then would I say, No, my Lord, they will never be convinced by us; for we have not Wit nor Learning enough to do it, neither can we take so much pains. 'Tis easier to talk an hour about State-affairs, and make Satyrs against the fanatics, than to preach convincing and sound Doctrine. The fanatics therefore must be confuted by Bolts and Shackles, by Fines and Imprisonments, by Excommunications and Exterminations; And therefore pray, my Lord, let 〈◊〉 be scourged out of the Temple; let'em be whipped out of the Nation; and let us not lost our Simnels through Oscitancy and Spanish Consideration. And so I come to the last part of my Text, the People of Pi●rochol. Who are they? The People of Pi●rochol, my beloved, are ourselves: Picros in the original signifies bitter, slingie, sharp; and Ko●e signifies anger. And have not we reason to be bitterly angry, stingily angry, sharply angry with those that would take away our Simnels? So have I seen, when a young Child has carelessly held a piece of Bread and Butter in his hand and looked another way, that a Grandgousier Dog has come and snatched away the Child's Bread and Butter, the Childs Simnel, and run away with it. Thus we are not to hold our Simnels carelessly in our hands; but we are to watch and take care that our Simnels, our Rights, and our Privileges be not taken away. Fears and Jealousies; Jealousies and Fears: Strange Fears, strange Jealousies are among us. The City is ill principled; our Sheriffs are whigs; our Common Council and Jurymen are rotten at Core. Hence our Fears, hence our Jealousies; hence our Jealousies, hence our Fears; our Simnels are in danger. But 〈…〉  
In the mean time, you have heard what Loyalty is. Do you continue your Loyalty; Remember Forty One; wear Scarlet Twists; cry Huzzah.— and Hum in the Church. And leave the rest to our care.  
FINIS.   

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