THE Pleasant Adventures OF THE WITTY SPANIARD, Lazarillo de Tormes. Of his Birth and Education; Of his arch Tricks in the Service of the Blind Man, the Priest, the Squire, and several others; Of his dining with Duke Humphrey, &c. Of his Voyage to the Indies, his shipwreck, and of his being taken out of the Sea, and shown for a Monstrous Fish: And lastly, Of his turning Hermit, and writing these Memoirs. Being all the true Remains of that so much admired Author. To which is added, The Life and Death of Young Lazarillo, Heir apparent to Old Lazarillo de Tormes: By which it plainly appears. That the Son would have far exceeded the Father in Ingenuity, had he not come to an untimely End in a House-of-Office.  
LONDON, Printed by J. leak, and Sold by most Booksellers in London and Westminster, MDCLXXXVIII.   

 depiction of a boy or Lazarillo de Tormes kneeling beside a statue of a bull, into which a male figure or blind man pushes his head; in the background a female figure   

licenced,  
September 19. 1687.   

TO THE READER.  
THE History of the famous Lazarillo, needs no Preambulatory Discourses to make it pleasing. The French, Dutch, Italians, and, in a word, almost all Nations have welcomed him into their Language.  
The nicest critics allow him to be a witty Fellow; and judge his Adventures may be red with as much Edification as his Country-mens, Guzman, or the Brainsick Knight of the Mancha.  
He was no such Fool to fight with a Windmill; or take a Flock of Sheep for a mighty Army. All his conflicts were with his hard Fortune, against which it becomes every wise Man to combat.  
If a Man wants Diversion, and be out of Humour; he need only red what happened between him and the worthy Squire his Master, to put him into a fit of Laughter.  
The Editions, which have as yet appeared, of this Book in English, are so full of flat and tedious Expressions( besides the frequent and bold profanations and appeals to Heaven) as have necessary required this new Translation; wherein nothing has been left out, but needless and obsolete words, and such matters of Fact, as Lazarillo was never guilty of, as you'll see in the Advertisement which follows, to which I refer you if you need further satisfaction.   

THE CONTENTS.  

PART I.  
CHAP. I. LAzarillo relates his Birth, together with the Amours of Antoinette peers, his Mother, with the Moore Zaide. page. 1  
CHAP. II. Lazarillo's Mother places him in the Service of a blind Man. This Man's Conditions, and the pleasant Tricks that were played betwixt them. page. 7  
CHAP. III. The sad Story of the Pot of Wine. page. 14  
CHAP. IV. The Story of the Bunch of Grapes; and the Sausage, which in roasting was changed into a Worm-eaten Root. page. 20  
CHAP. V. Of the Leap which the blind Man made. page. 27  
CHAP. VI. Lazarillo enters himself into the service of a Priest. His Master's covetous Humour described. page. 30  
CHAP. VII. Lazarillo relates the Story of the Tinker's coming to him. page. 39  
CHAP. VIII. How Lazarillo counterfeited the Mice. page. 44  
CHAP. IX. How the Priest discovered the Snake, and Lazarillo's being turned out of his Service thereupon page. 51  
CHAP. X. How Lazarillo enters himself into the Service of a Squire, and what happened thereupon. page. 58  
CHAP. XI. How Lazarillo dined with Duke Humphrey page. 62  
CHAP. XII. An account of the Squire's Bed. page. 68  
CHAP. XIII. He turns Mumper again. His Masters Discourse thereupon. page. 74  
CHAP. XIV. He dines his Master the Squire, as well as himself, with what he had begged. page. 80  
CHAP. XV. The Extremities to which the Squire and Lazarillo were reduced. page. 86  
CHAP. XVI. The Reasons which moved the Squire to come to Toledo. page. 92  
CHAP. XVII. How the Squire was interrupted. An Inventory of his movables. He leaves his Servant Lazarillo in the Lurch. page. 99  
CHAP. XVIII. How Lazarillo enters into the Service of a Friar, and afterwards into that of a Pardon-monger. page. 106  
CHAP. XIX. Lazarillo serves a Painter; a Churchman; and after these a sergeant; and lastly becomes a Common crier. page. 116  
CHAP. XX. Lazarillo marries Mr. Arch-Deacon's Maid. page. 119  
CHAP. XXI. Lazarillo gets acquainted with some Germans of the Train of Charles V. and what happened on this Occasion. page. 123   

PART II.  
CHAP. I. LAzarillo grows an ill Husband. Death of the archdeacon. Lazarillo's Misery after his Death. page. 131  
CHAP. II. Lazarillo resolves to make a Voyage to the Indies. He meets with the Squire, who relates to him his Adventures. page. 138  
CHAP. III. The Squire continues the Relation of his Adventures. Lazarillo and he associate in the Voyage to the Indies. page. 145  
CHAP. VI. Lazarillo makes shipwreck at his Return from the Indies. Certain Fisher-men carry him throughout all Spain as a monstrous Fish. How they were discovered and punished. page. 152  
CHAP. V. How Lazarillo became an Hermit and wrote these Memoirs. page. 164.   

BOOK II.  
COntaining the Life and Death of Young Lazarillo, who was no way inferior to his Father, Old Lazarillo, in all sorts of Rogueries.    

THE Pleasant LIFE, AND Rare Adventures, of the Witty SPANIARD, Lazarillo de Tormes.  

CHAP. I. Lazarillo relates his Birth, together with the Amours of Antoinette peers, his Mother, with the Moor Zaide.  
MY Name is Lazaro de Tormes; and am the Son of Thomas Gonsales and Antoinette peers, both Natives of Tejares, a Village near Salamanca. I was born on the River of Tormes, whence I took my Sur-name.  
My Father( Peace be with his Soul) had the charge of a Mill, which stood on this River, wherein for the space of Fifteen Years, he laboured like a Man that understood his Trade. My Mother being one day in the Mill, big with me, fell in travail, and was there delivered of me. Whence you may see, 'tis not without Reason, I call myself de Tormes.  
I was about Eight Years old, when my Father was accused of bleeding the Sacks of Corn, which were brought thither to be ground. He, good Man, being loathe to add Lying to his other Crime, confessed the Fact, and patiently underwent his deserved Punishment.  
An Army was raised about this time against the Moors, and my Father who found himself a banished Man from his Country, for the Mishap aforesaid, entered himself into the Service of an Officer; who dying in this War, my Father, like a faithful Servant, followed his Master, soon after, into the other World.  
What could my Mother do, a poor comfortless Widow, after the Loss of so dear a Husband? She resolves to live amongst virtuous people, determining now to become virtuous her self; wherefore she leaves the Country, to inhabit in the City; takes a little House, and keeps a small Ord'nary, and turns Landress to certain Grooms; into whose Stables having often occasion to resort, she grew into Familiarity with a certain Moor, who looked after the Horses under the Grooms: And they were so good Friends in a little time, that the Moor came often in the Night to us, whence he did not depart till the Morning; he sometimes also came in the Day-time under pretence of buying Eggs, though we never sold any; and, in short, frequented our House as it if had been his own.  
This Familiarity, at first, disgusted me; his black and ugly Countenance making me afraid: But when I perceived, his Visits made our Pot boil, I soon pacified myself; for he seldom came empty-handed.  
But at length, Matters went so forward, that my Mother brought forth a young Black, it being my charge to rock and play with him. I shall never forget, how one Day my Father-in-law, the Moor, sporting with his little Son; the Child observing my Mother and I were White, and his Father Black, he ran away affrighted to my Mother, and stretching out his Finger, cried, Mamma, the Devil. Whereat the Moor, laughing, said, Thou Bastard, art thou afraid of thy Father? As much a Child as I was, I could not choose but reflect on these Words of my little Brother; saying within myself, How many are there in the World, who laugh at others, for want of knowing themselves? At length the Trade which Zaide driven( for this was the Moor's Name) came to the Master of the Horse's Ear; and Matters being preached into, it appeared that my Father stolen half of the Oats allowed the Horses, not sparing the Horse-Cloths, shoes, Bridles, and every thing else which he could carry off fairly; which things he would daily bring to my Mother for the bringing up my young Brother, all which was proved against him; and I being examined, through Fear confessed, I had, by my Mother's order, sold several of these things: Whereupon my Father-in-law was condemned to be severely whipped, and my Mother strictly charged, on pain of an Hundred Stripes, to enter no more into the Stables, nor admit the unfortunate Zaide into her House.  
My poor Mother submitted to this cruel Sentence without murmuring; and to avoid the giving Occasion to ill Tongues, she changed her Lodging, and placed her self as a Servant in an Inn.  
In this laborious Condition, she made an hard shift to bring up my younger Brother till he could go alone; and, as for my part, I was at that Age, that I was very useful in tending the Guests.   

CHAP. II. Lazarillo's Mother places him in the Service of a blind Man. This Man's Conditions, and the pleasant Tricks which were played betwixt them.  
A Blind Man came and lodged in this Inn; and hearing some discourse of me, judged I might be a fit person to led and tend him; and therefore he demanded me of my Mother; who not suffering her self to be much entreated, only  told him, that I was the Son of a good Father, who dyed in the defence of the Faith against the Infidels, at the Battle of Gelves; and, that she hoped, I should prove no less an honest Man; and, being a poor Orphelin, entreated him he would become a Father to me. The blind Man promised more than she could expect; or he, indeed, perform; whereupon, I immediately entred into my Office.  
He remained some Days at Salamanca; but finding his Gain small there, he resolved to part thence. Having therefore taken my leave of my Mother, we left that Place.  
Coming on the way as far as the entrance on the Bridge, there stands a Statue of ston, representing a Bull: My blind Master bad me draw near it, saying, Lazarillo, Put but thine Ear to this Bull, and thou shalt hear a strange kind of Noise; which I had no sooner done, but this old Rogue pushed my Head with that devilish force against it, that I thought he had split my skull in a Thousand pieces: Scarce had I the use of my Senses for Three Days together; and he, for his part, was bursting out ever and anon into Laughter( which was no small aggravation of my Pain) telling me, That a blind Man's Boy, should have one Trick more than the Devil himself. Upon this, I began to consider, That 'twas time for me to open mine Eyes, and look to myself, being a poor Boy that was left alone to shift in the World.  
We continued on our Journey, and he instructed me by the way in the Canting Language, which, to his great joy, I soon learned: And he further said to me, See, Friend Lazarillo, I can neither give thee Gold nor Silver, but thou shalt not want such Counsel as is of far greater Value: And truly, his Words were weighty; and though he was blind, yet he taught me to know the World.  
He was a mighty ingenious Man in his way; he knew more Prayers by Heart, than all the blind Men besides in Spain; and could so tone 'em, as made all the People in the Church to cast an Eye towards him. His Mein was devout, grave, and humble; no Grimaces, unseemly rolling the Whites, or wry-Mouths, were observable in him.  
He had a Thousand ways to draw Money from People, having Prayers by root, for all occasions; for Women that were barren, for those in Labour, for such as had severe Husbands, and those that were stale Maids. He could tell the big-belly'd Women, whether what they went with was a Boy or a Girl.  
As for Physical Remedies, Galen was a more Ass to him. He had admirable Secrets for the toothache, all sorts of Cholicks, and Fits of the Mother. When any one complained to him of any Distemper, he had immediately a choice Receipt ready: Do this, said he to one; You must use such a thing, to another; Gather this Herb, take such a Root. All the World ran after him, and especially the Women-kind, who took him for a Man inspired; though he was, in truth, the basest, and most covetous Hound on the Face of the Earth.  
He was not content to pinch his own Belly, but would needs starve me too; however, it seldom happened but I made my part good with him, and became the greatest shearer in his Gain.  
He was wont to keep his Provision in a little Cloth-bag, whose Mouth was fastened with a Lock; and when he put in, or took out thence any thing, he would be so on his Guard, that the craftiest Fellow in the World, must be discouraged from attempting to cheat him of the least Crumb; and therefore I must be contented with that small Allowance he gave me: which would not amount to Two Morsels. But when he closed up his Bag, and imagined my Thoughts diverted on something else, I would steal softly to it, and ripping one of the Sides of it, take thence pieces of Bread and Meat, and then dexterously sow up the Breach; and thus did I preserve my Life from Famine.  
When any one gave him a piece of Money, whip it went into my Mouth, if it could be changed into a piece of lesser Value, which I had ready in my Hand for him. He oft complained to me, saying, Lazarillo, What the Devil means it, that since thou hast been with me I receive but half the Money for a Prayer which I was wont to have? surely thou hast brought Misfortune with thee.  
But to be even with the People, he would cut a Prayer in half; and therefore ordered me as soon as the person that employed him was gone, to twitch him by the Cloak: Then presently changing his Tone, he would cry aloud, Who will hear the Life of this Saint, or, hear this or the other Prayer?   

CHAP. III. The sad Story of the Pot of Wine.  
AT Dinner or Supper time, he was wont to have an Earthen Pot of Wine standing by him, which was to him instead of a Bottle, which I would now and then whisk up to my Mouth, taking Two or Three go-downs, and then gently set it in its place. This Trade lasted not long with me; for, he not finding his measure, held his Pot thence-forward by the Two Ears. However, this Caution availed him little; for getting a Reed, I drew the Wine out with great ease. The old Thief, I believe, heard me suck at last; and therefore claps the Pot between his Knees, and laying one Hand upon it he feeds himself with the other. But I was so used to Wine, that, like Monsieur Ragoo, I could live better without a Shirt, or Hose, than without Wine; however, my Reed stood me in no stead.  
I bethought myself, after this, of making a little hole at the bottom of the Pot, and stoping it with soft Wax; Then at Supper-time, pretending to be extreme could, I would get between my Master's Legs, and then take our little Lamp, as it were to warm myself, and applying it to the hole of the Pot, melt the Wax; and then would the Wine spurt out like a Spring into my Mouth, which would be sure not to lose a drop. When my blind Master was for having th'other 'bout at it, the Pot was dry; and not being able to divine whence this could happen, he would curse and storm like a mad Man. You cannot, said I, Uncle, mistrust me to have drunk your Wine, you take sufficient care of that. He replied not a Word, but turned and felt the Pot so on all sides, that he unhappily light on the hole. He seemed at that time to take no notice of it; but the next day planting myself at the accustomend time and place in the same posture, whilst I was bibbing with my Face upwards, in a pleasing manner, with my Eyes half shut, the enraged and cruel blind Man took his opportunity to be revenged of me; for, lifting up with both his Hands this sweet and sour Pot, he discharged it so fiercely on my Face, that I thought the Roof of the House had fallen upon me. Impossible 'tis to imagine the Amazement I was in; the Pot was beat into I know not how many pieces, some of which stuck in my Face, and broken several Teeth out of my Head, which I want to this day.  
Since that time, I could never look on this malicious old Rogue without ill Will. He might make much of me, if he pleased; yet I knew well enough, the blow he had given rejoiced his Heart, and therefore I could never forgive him. He washed my Wounds with Wine, and grinningly said to me, Thou seest, Lazarillo, how that which has made the Wound, now cures it. This Raillery was very well, but it did not please me.  
When I was half cured I began to think, that should this blind Wretch give me many such blows, he would soon be rid of me; but I resolved to prevent him by leaving him, tho' I did it not presently.  
Had I been the best humoured Youth in the World, and forgotten the Blow with the Pot, yet the ill usage he shewed me afterwards, was such, as I could never forgive. He was always beating me, pinching me or pulling me by the Hair. If any tender-hearted body blamed him, then would he recite the adventure of the Pot of Wine; and you believe, says he, that this is some innocent Wretch? I tell you, the Devil himself cannot out-do him, in all manner of Roguery: which made those that heard him, lift up their Hands, and across themselves, saying ever at parting, Punish him, punish him, he will thank you for it another day: which Counsel the Old Man would not fail to put in practise, nor I be behind hand in my Revenges on him; for I continually lead him through the worst ways. Were there any heap of Stones near us, any puddles and heaps of Dirt, he was sure to pass through ' em. I mattered not the having my part, being willing to put out one of my own Eyes) as they say) to put out both his, that never had any. At every trip he made, he would be sure to run his Nails into my Head, or make an Anvil of it with the handle of his Stick. It was to no purpose for me to swear, I was not in fault, and that there was no better Way; this would not pass with him, he was too subtle to believe me.   

CHAP. IV. The Story of the Bunch of Grapes; and the Sausage, which in roasting, was changed into a Worm-eaten Root.  
MY Master leaving Salamanca, he designed for the Coasts of Toledo: and tho' Mens Charities were not very great, in those Parts; yet being a wealthy sort of People, he was lead thither by the Spanish Proverb, which says, That a Man had better have to do with a rich Niggard, than a Charitable poor Man. We steered then this Course, passing always through the best Villages, where, if we found any Encouragement, we made some stay.  
At length we arrived at a Town called Almorx, in the time when they gather their Grapes, where my Master had a Bunch of excellent good ones given him; which he would have kept willingly till next morning, but it being very ripe, 'twould have been spoiled. He was forced therefore to eat it; and, to make me amends for the blows and ill usage he had given me that day, he determined to take me in for a Partner.  
We sate down then in a shallow gravel Pit, and he said to me, Lazarillo, come, let's eat this Bunch of Grapes, dividing them like Brethren; and therefore do thou take a Grape, and I another; but take no more than one at a time; and I, for my part, do promise thee to do the same. The matter was agreed on; but at the second twitch, the Old Knave broken his Promise, and began to take 'em by two's, suspecting I did the like. When I saw he infringed the Articles, I did not content myself with doing as he did, but plucked Three at a time; and being by means of this expedition, come to an end, he held the stalk wagging in his Hand; and shaking his Head, cried out, Ah! Lazarillo, thou hast deceived me: I can safely swear on my Soul, thou hast taken Three or Four at a time. Pardon me, dear Uncle, said I, my Conscience is as tender as other folks. prithee, replied he, did I not observe, when thou sawest me eat Two at a time, thou saidst nothing? whence I certainly conclude, thou hast went beyond me.  
We were lodged in an Inn at Scalona, where he gave me a good fat Sausage to roast for him; and having eaten the slices of Bread, which he had put under it that the dripping might not be lost, he drew a small spill of Money out of his Purse, and bad me go and fetch him some Wine.  
Occasion, as they say, makes the Thief; for there lying in the Chimney-corner a great Worm-eaten Root, which was thrown aside as not fit for the Pot; and the Blind Man and I being alone, I shut mine Eyes to all that might happen; and whilst my Master was putting his Hand into his Purse, I whipped the Sausage off the Spit, and dexterously clapped on this Root in its place. I took the Money for the Wine, and gave him the handle of the Spit to turn; he roasting that Root, which was so bad that 'twas not fit to boil.  
I soon dispatched my Sausage, as I went for the Wine; and at my Return, found my old blind Master squeezing the roasted Root, betwixt Two slices of Bread, thinking it to be the Sausage; but biting into it, and finding what it was, he fell into such a fit of raging, that he knew not where he was. What a Devil is the meaning of this, says he, Lazarillo? What! replied I, I hope you have nothing to lay to my Charge, when you know I have been gone for Wine? some body has come in and put this Trick upon you. No, no, cried the old Fellow, I never let the Spit go out of my Hand; no body has touched it. I then began to swear, I was no ways concerned in the matter; but he restend not much on my Oaths and Imprecations.  
He then rose up, took me fast by the Crown, and began to smell my Breath: In the rage he was in, he did not the work by halves; but opening my Mouth with both his Hands, he thrust his great sharp Snout down my Throat. The fear which I was in, by this sudden surprise, together with his Elephants Trunk stoping my Breath, made me cast up this undigested Meat: What would I not have given to a been at that time Forty Foot under Ground; being in a worse condition, than half dead. My blind Master was now so transported with fury, that had not people entred in at the Out-cry, he had certainly strangled me.  
They drew me out of his Hands, which remained full of the little Hair I had left in our past Combats. He  told the whole Story, with all its Aggravations, to as many as would hear it; not forgetting the Adventure of the Pot of Wine, and the Bunch of Grapes. The Old Fellow related my prowesses so pleasantly, that, in as bad a condition as I was, I must judge myself guilty of the greatest stupidity, should I not laugh for company.  
But considering what had past, I was extreme mad at myself, that I had not bit off his Nose. My stomach, without doubt, would have better retained that than the Sausage. Our Hostess and the rest of the good Folks there present, made peace between us. They washed my Neck and Face with the Wine I went for; which made the blind Man joakingly say; This Boy costs me more in Wine for him in one Year, than I drink in two: Lazarillo, Thou must own a greater obligation to Wine, than to thy Father: Thou hast received thy Life from him but once; whereas Wine restores to thee thy Life every day. Those that heard him jeer me in this manner, broken out into such fits of laughter, as put me beyond all patience.   

CHAP. V. Of the Leap which the blind Man made.  
COnsidering the state of Affairs between us, I was resolved of a long time to leave him; but this last Adventure fully determined me. We went the next morning to beg in the Town; and it having rained hard the night before, we sheltered ourselves under a certain Gate, there to expect people as they passed by; but Night approaching and the Rain not ceasing, the blind Man said to me, Lazarillo, this Rain is like to hold, for the darker it grows, the thicker it falls: Let us then return Home betimes.  
Betwixt us, and our Inn, there ran a great Canal, which was much increased by the Rain: I said to him then, Uncle, this Gutter is very large, but if it please you, we will go a little further, where we may pass without being wet-shod. Now thou art honest, said he, led me thither, for 'tis not good to take Water into one's shoes this Winter Weather.  
Things being in this Order, I led him from under the Gate, and brought him to a great ston Pillar, and placed him directly before it: The Rain fell with great Violence, and he was willing to be as soon out of it, as he could. Now, said I, Uncle, you must make your Leap. But do you jump first, says he, Boy; which I did, and stood behind the Pillar, watching him as a Man that observes the Motions and Turnings of a wild Bull. I had no sooner said, Come Uncle; but he, like a Ram, went backward, and then came running, and leaped with all his force, with his Head against the Pillar: I heard his Head sound like a leathern Bottle with the blow. The blind Man fell down backward half dead; and seeing him fall, O, are you come, said I; You that have such a good Nose to smell out the Sausage, can't, it seems, smell a Pillar! Now, I believe, we are at such an even Reckoning, that we cannot justly laugh at one another. I bad him, God b'w'y ', and left him to the care of those that came out to succour him; and so tripp'd away, without looking behind me, arriving before Night at Torrigo; knowing not to this Day what was become of my blind Master; and indeed never much inquired after him.   

CHAP. VI. Lazarillo enters himself into the Service of a Priest. His Master's covetous Humour described.  
NOT believing myself in Safety at Torrigo, I traveled to a Village, at greater distance, called Maqueda; where my Sins made me meet with a Priest, who seemed to me to be the Curate of the Place; and in which I was not mistaken. As I was about to ask him for an Alms, he prevented me, by demanding, Whether I knew how to serve at Mass? Very well, answered I, Sir; for tho' the villainous blind Man, had ever used me ill, yet this I must speak in his Praise, That he had taught me several useful things, and this amongst the rest.  
In a word, the Priest took me into his Service; whereupon I fell, as they say, out of the frying Pan, into the Fire. Although the blind Man was Covetousness itself; yet may I safely swear, that in comparison of this Priest, he was a real Prodigal.  
He had a great ancient Coffer, to which was a strong Lock, whose Key he carried always about with him, fastened to his doublet, and when he returned from the Church, he would be sure to lock up therein all the Bread, which belonged to the Poor. In all other Houses a Man shall see something that is to Eat; a piece of Bacon( perhaps) hanging up in the Chimney; or, it may be, a Cheese on the Shelf; or, some pieces of Bread lying up and down; or, crumbs scattered after Meals; but the House where I light into, would not afford so much as the bare sight of these.  
He had only a Bunch of Onions kept under Lock and Key in a Garret, one of which in four Days was my Allowance. When I asked him for the Key for this occasion, if any body was present, my liberal Master would leisurely untie his Key, and very earnestly bid me bring it him again quickly, saying, Thou art ever minding of thy Belly. A Man would have thought in hearing him speak thus, that he had had all the Varieties in World locked up in this Room; the and let me die, if there was any thing more than this wretched Bunch of Onions I mentioned, hanging on a Nail; the number of which he so well knew, that 'twas impossible for me to deceive him of one of them.  
After I had lived some time with him, I was ready to drop down dead with Hunger. What ever Flesh Meat he eat, I was sure not to get the least crumb of it; perhaps he might bestow a little of the Broth on me; but as for Bread, half of what was sufficient would have made me think myself happy. On Saturday, he was wont to sand me to buy a Piteous Sheep's-head, which when 'twas boiled, he would eat the Eyes, Tongue, Brains; and clear all the Flesh from the Cheek-bones; and having made this Anatomy, then would he say, Here take this away and eat it, and aclowledge thou hast made one good Meal in thy Life. I wish you may never fare better, would I say, grumbling softly to myself.  
At the end of Three Weeks, I became so weak, that I could scarce stand on my Legs, and I was in a fare way to my Grave, had not mine own Industry relieved me. Yet had I been a Thousand times more crafty than I was, what was there to exercise my subtlety on? Moreover this Priest was not blind, as my Old Master, to whom I taught the art of Leaping.  
He had Eyes to pierce through ston Walls: When we were at the Offerring, not a Farthing fell into the basin, of which he did not take account; he had one Eye on his Parishioners, and another on my Hands; so that his Eyes were in perpetual Motion; and the Offerring being over, he took from me the basin himself, and placed it on the Altar. By which means 'twas not in my power to deceive him of one poor Farthing, all the time of my Life, or, to speak better, all the time of my Death, with him.  
He never gave me the trouble of going to the Tavern for him for Wine. He was so exact, that the Wine of the Offerring, which he locked up in his great Coffer every Sunday morning, served him all the Week. To colour his intolerable Covetousness, he would say to me, That Churchmen ought to live in great Sobriety, and that others Example should be no Rule to him.  
But the Villain spoken against his own Conscience; for when he dined or supped at another's Table, he eat like a wolf, and drank like a Fish. I never so hearty prayed for the Death of People as I did there; for then, and only then, I was sure to get my Bellyfull of Victuals; and therefore did I earnestly beseech Heaven, to call every Day out of this World one of our Parishioners. When we carried the extreme Unction to the Sick, the Priest needed not bid me, as is customary, to pray for him; I was always ready enough to do this of myself; and I besought God, Not to dispose of him, according to his Will, as the Prayer runs; but, To bring him immediately into his everlasting Kingdom. And if any one after this escaped, Heaven forgive me, for I cursed him to the pit of Hell: Whereas I accompanied with a Thousand Benedictions, those who were so charitable as to leave the World. In all the time I served the Priest, which was about a Year, there died not above Five and twenty Persons in all; and I believe I occasioned their Death, by force of wishing it.  
All went admirably well on days of Burials; then I might be properly said to live; but these times made the rest but the more uneasy; and therefore all my hope was now in mine own death, as it had been heretofore in that of others.  
I thought several times of leaving my Service, but was with-held by Two Reasons: The first, That I could not trust my Legs; whose weakness was so great, that they were not able to carry me far: And the other, That having had Two Masters already, the first made me die with Hunger; and having left him for the second, he had brought me to the brink of the Grave; and should I leave him, and meet with a worse, he would certainly push me into it. This consideration made me unresolved; being moreover, sufficiently enough persuaded of my ill fortune, to believe, it would be worse and worse with me.  
Another Reason also I had, not to leave him so soon; for he had already taught me to red; and beginning but newly my Writing, I knew not enough of that, to serve me at my need; and I would willingly gain that Improvement by him, before I left him.   

CHAP. VII. Lazarillo relates the Story of the Tinker's coming to him.  
ONE Day my Master being gone out of the Village; there came a Tinker to our Door, or an Angel rather, who asked me, Whether we had nothing to mend; I answered softly to myself, More than thou canst do. But having no time to lose, I said to him, Friend, I have lost the Key of that Coffer you see there, and if you have one amongst that great bundle, which will serve, I will pay you well for it, and you will do me an extraordinary Kindness. The Tinker, without further entreaty, began to try his Keys, and I, attentive all the while to what was doing, endeavoured to assist him by my Prayers, when on a sudden, I was surprised at the sight of the Coffer's being opened. It seemed to me, that the Heavens were so also, at the sight of the Bread, which lay therein; and addressing myself to the Tinker, transported with joy; Friend, said I, I have no Money, but look ye, here's Bread enough, pay yourself with your own Hands. He took then one of the best Loaves, and giving me the Key, went away contented, but not so well pleased as I.  
For that time, I touched nothing; for seeing such a Treasure in my power, I was in a manner half satisfied, as imagining that Hunger now durst not come within an Hundred Leagues of me. My Master returned, and fortunately took no notice of the Loaf, which was wanting. He no sooner went out the next morning, but I opened the blessed Coffer, and taking thence a Loaf, I devoured it in a trice. I forgot not to shut it; and I began to set the Chamber to rights, with so great cheerfulness, that I could scarce feel myself, imagining that now I could not but live happily. I past all that day, and the next morning, in the bravest humour in the World; but this lasted no longer than the third day; when I saw my cruel Master rummaging, and feeling a Thousand times in his Coffer; and begin again as many, the reckoning of his Bread. I made as if I was not at all concerned, during this troublesone search; but yet I recommended myself to God, and all the Saints. O blessed Saint John, said I, blind him, I most humbly beseech thee. After a long Calculation, and reckoning the Days and Loaves on his Fingers; he breaks out into these words; In good faith, did not this Coffer stand in a safe place, I should think some body has robbed me of my Bread: However, I shall henceforward keep such an exact Account, that I defy all the World to deceive me in my reckoning; here's Nine Loaves and a piece. God give thee Nine Curses, said I to myself: Methoughts I saw all my Blood streaming out of my Body, when I heard him talk thus; and the foresight of the Diet to which I was to be reduced, made me starve before hand.  
He went out after this; and I opening the Coffer to comfort myself, and kneeling down before the Loaves, I beholded them without daring to touch them: I counted them to see, if by good hap the Curate was not mistaken, but I found him too exact to my Grief. All that I dared do, was to kiss and smell to each Loaf, and to cut extreme thin slices from one that had been much handled; with which I past that day, but not with that Content, as I did the others.  
And having accustomend myself to a greater Quantity of Food, for these Two or Three days, Hunger tormented me so much the more: I felt myself dying; and when I was alone, I did nothing else but open and shut the Coffer, and look on the Bread.   

CHAP. VIII. How Lazarillo counterfeited the Mice.  
MY good Genius assisted me again in this urgent Necessity, by suggesting to me a new Remedy. This Coffer is old, began I to say within myself, and battered in several places, and the Holes and Clefts be not great in it; yet they are large enough to make it believed, that Mice may have entred it to eat the Bread. To take an whole one will ruin all my after hopes; but what hinders me from counterfeiting the Mouse? I began then to nibble the Loaves over a Napkin, which lay in the Coffer. I thus nibbled Three or Four, and taking the crumbs in the hallow of my hand, I swallowod them like so many Comfets.  
Dinner-time being come, my Curate failed not in opening the Coffer, to perceive what had happened; and attributed it to the Mice; so well had I played my part. He then examines all sides of the Coffer, and seeing the Holes, through which he thought the Mice had past, he called me and said, Look here, Lazarillo, see what Persecution has been raised against our Bread. I seemed much astonished, asking him, How this happened? Whence should this happen, answered he, but from these roguish Mice, from which nothing is safe. He sate him down to Dinner, and gave me the parings of the Bread, and in giving them bad me eat, saying, Eat, eat, Lazarillo, for Mice are cleanly.  
We ended our Dinner, if we may call that ending, which was never well begun. But I grew sick, when I saw the Curate searching in all Corners for Nails, and little pieces of Wood, to stop up the Holes of the Coffer. O thought I to myself, how short are the pleasures of this World? I thought I had found some mitigation of my Misery, when immediately he fell upon such an Invention as driven me to extreme despair. Whilst I was busied in these thoughts, he had perfected his work. Now, says he, in a great heat, damned Brood, wretched Vermin, you must go and pilser elsewhere, live in some other place, for you'll find but short Commons here.  
As soon as he was gone out, I ran to the Coffer, and found he had not left the least Crevice unstopp'd. I opened, it though to no purpose; and seeing Two or Three Loaves, which my Master had been picking, as thinking they had been gnawed by the Mice, I fell also on pinching them in the most careful manner I was able. But these feeble succours being nothing to my furious Appetite, my continual study was how to provide some speedy Remedy.  
'Tis said of Hunger, that it sharpens mens Wit, whereas much eating does but dull it. One night when these thoughts made me restless, and I was designing a fresh attack on the Coffer, without being discovered; I heard the Curate shoring as he used to do when in a deep sleep. I rose up softly, and making up to the Coffer, I assaulted that side which I knew to be weakest, with a rusty Knife; which did not hold out long, so that I made a considerable breach in it. I afterwards opened the Coffer softly, and scratching the several Loaves with my Nails, I devoured the crumbs, and then returned to my Bed, endeavouring, if possible, to get a little Rest, which through my fastings, was a difficult matter.  
The next morning my Curate seeing the Disorder, the Hole which I had made, and the Bread nibbled, began to curse the Mice in a most extravagant manner; saying, What the Devil is the meaning of this, that the Mice should now of late come and torment us in this manner? And, indeed, he had reason to wonder at the Matter; for there was no House in the Kingdom, that could pretend with juster Title, to a Privilege of Exemption from these sort of Animals; who, for the most part, love not to tarry where there's nothing to eat.  
He began again to stop up the Holes, and I to spoil in the Night, what he had done in the Day. We each of us wrought so hard, he in stoping the Holes, and I in making them, that in a few Nights and Days, the wretched Coffer was more laden with Nails and bits of Timber, than an Old Whores Face is with Paint.  
Seeing he only lost time in these Repairs, he began thus to reason: This Coffer is but an ill compacted thing, the stuff of it is so old and Worm-eaten, that the least Mouse can make an hole through it; and if I busy myself in continually mending it, and the Rats and Mice in perpetually making holes in it, the Coffer will be good for nothing in a short time; however, as bad as it is, I am not willing to bestow Three or Four Shillings on another. My best way will be to set up a Trap in it, for these thieving Animals.  
He thereupon borrowed one, and baited it with bits of Cheese, which he borrowed of his Neighbours, and kept it still set up in the Coffer. These were new Ragoo's to me, for though I needed not much any thing to sharpen my Stomach, yet this, together with some crumbs of Bread, agreed very well with my hungry Appetite.  
When the good Man returned home, and found his Bread lessened, the Trap without Cheese, and no Mouse taken, he gave himself to the Devil, and went about the Town like a Mad-man; asking his Neighbours, How it could happen, that a Rat should eat his Cheese fastened on the Hook, and the Trap fall without his being taken. His Neighbours assured him this was impossible, or, at least, a very extraordinary Case.   

CHAP. IX. How the Priest discovered the Snake, and Lazarillo's being turned out of his Service thereupon.  
ONE of my Masters Neighbours, an ancient Man,  told him, he remembered that his House was wont to be visited by a Snake, and that very probably she had made this Spoil; and though the Trap had fallen, yet her whole body not entering, she might easily escape. This Neighbour's Saying, satisfied the whole Company, especially my Master, who, from that time, never slept soundly; for at the least Noise, he imagined the Snake was gnawing the Coffer. He often leaped out of his Bed, and with a great Cudgel which he held in his Hand, gave several severe strokes on the poor Coffer, to fright away the Snake. The Noise he made disturbed all the Neighbourhood; and I, for my part, was not to think any more of sleeping.  
In this Discourse of Snakes, he was  told, that they loved Warmth, and therefore crept often into Childrens Cradles, stung and even killed some of them. Imagining therefore the same thing might happen at his House, he would come oft in the Night, pull me out sometimes of the Bed, and other whiles tumble me and it over one another.  
I pretended for the most part, to have been asleep; and he would say to me in the Morning, Didst thou not hear something in the Night, Lazarillo? I had a long Course after the Snake, and I really believe he hides himself in thy Bed; he's a very chilly Animal, and seeks for Warmth. I wish, said I, he does me not a Mischief some Night or other; for I am greatly afraid of it.  
His fear made him sleep very little, and he kept such strict Watch, that the Snake dared not rise to gnaw the Coffer, which obliged me to do my Business in the day time, whilst he was either at Church, or abroad in the Village.  
This Waste continuing without Remedy, put him on going the Rounds every Night about his Chamber, and to turn all things topsy turvy, to catch the Animal. I was afraid lest in ransacking thus the Chamber and searching about my Bed and Clothes, he should sometime or other meet with my Key; and therefore I thought it the surest way to clap it into my Mouth, when I was to go to sleep. It was but very small, although it served for to open a great Coffer. Moreover, I had so accustomend my Mouth to be a Pouch, whilst I lived with the blind Man, that I could hold Ten or a Dozen Farthings in it, without the least Trouble.  
I put my Key then every Night in my Mouth, and so slept securely, not imaging my Master would come and look for it there: But, when a misfortune is to happen, all means to prevent it are vain.  
One Night when I was in a profound Sleep, with my Mouth open; the Key, which was hallow, lay situated in such a manner in my Mouth, that breathing into the hole of it, I made such a whistling, as roused my Master, who thought it had been most certainly the hissing of the Snake: Holding then his Cudgel in his Hand, he made straight to me very softly, least the Beast should hear him. When he was near me, he thought certainly the Snake was in the Straw, and thereupon lifts up his Cudgel to kill her; but discharged such a cruel Blow with all his strength upon my Head, that I thought afterwards, when I came to my Senses, that he had given me my Deaths Wound. Understanding at length his Error by the Groans I uttered, he felt abundance of Blood issuing out of my Head, which made him hasten for a Candle; which he had no sooner brought, but he saw me groaning, and gasping with my Key in my Mouth; which taking thence and viewing, he perceived it differed not at all from his. But, for better satisfaction, he went to try it, and so found out tne whole Deceit. 'Tis hard to imagine what Joy and Triumph here was on this discovery of the Snake, the Rat and the Mice, that had given this Trouble, and so destroyed his Bread. What happened the Three days following I know not, for I was insensible all that while; but when I came to myself, I heard him declare the whole matter to as many as came to see him.  
I wondered, being in my Straw, to find my Head so sore and full of Plasters, which made me ask the meaning of it: O! says the Priest, I'll tell thee, my Boy, the meaning of it, I have chased away the Rat and the Snake that has done me such Hurt; I then immediately began to suspect the Matter. Then came in an Old Woman with some of the Neighbours to dress my Wounds, and being glad to see me out of danger, they began to repeat my Adventures, and make themselves merry with them, which made me weep more hearty than they could laugh. In a word, at Fifteen days end I rose up, and could walk about, being cured of my Wounds, but half dead with Hunger. The next day after I rose, my Master took me by the Hand, and lead me into the Street, saying, Lazarillo, thou art now at Liberty, God be with thee, I have no need of such an ingenious Servant, thou must certainly have served some blind Man. And therewith blessing himself from me, as though I had been some Evil Spirit, he hies him in, and bolts and locks fast the Door.   

CHAP. X. How Lazarillo enters himself into the Service of a Squire, and what happened thereupon.  
I Had not many pleas ready to offer my Master, and therefore I took my leave of him, without much Ceremony; and crawled towards Toledo, to which City I arrived by the assistance of charitably disposed Persons. My Wounds were no sooner closed, but every one would say to me, Why dost thou not work for thy living, or get some Service? Then I, murmuring within myself, would say, Where the Devil shall I get a Master?  
At last I met with a Squire, walking along the Street, in a very good Garb, neat and gentle; taking his steps with great State and Gravity. He looked upon me, and I on him; at last he said to me, Boy, dost thou want a Master? Yes, Sir, replied I, a good one. Then follow me, says he, thou hast met with good Fortune to day, in meeting with me. I was overjoyed at what he said, and gladly followed him, I met with this Third Master betimes in the morning, and he lead me through the greatest part of the City; and especially the Markets, where I expected when he would have loaded me home with Provisions, it being a fit time to provide for Dinner; but he very gravely left that place behind him: Then said I to myself, Perhaps, he does not see any thing here which pleases him, he will buy elsewhere. We walked so long, that the Clock struck Eleven, when he went to the Cathedral Church, and I after him, where I saw him most devoutly hear Service; which when ended, he marched leisurely down a Street, and I joyfully followed him, because we had not, as I thought, our Dinner to provide, imagining my Master to have been some great Man, and that we should find our Dinner ready at our coming. 'Twas now about One of the Clock, when we arrived at a House, before which my Master stopped; then he throwing his Cloak over his left Shoulder, with his right Hand draws a Key out of his Pocket, and therewith opens the Door. We came into this House through a dark Entry, a bad Omen, yet there was a little Court before it, and tolerable good Chambers in it.  
Being within, he throws off his Cloak, and having desired to see whether my Hands were clean, we then shook it, and dubbling it handsomely, he blowed away the Dust from a Bench, and laid it thereon. Which done he sate him down on the same place, and fell into Discourse with me about my Country, my Age, my Parentage, and what brought me to this City. I gave him the shortest Answers I could, and yet methoughts we were tedious enough for People that had not Dined; for I had rather have been employed in laying the Cloth, than in hearing the most edifying Discourses.   

CHAP. XI. How Lazarillo Dined with Duke Humphrey.  
HAving satisfied the Squire's Curiosity, by lying where I thought it advantageous, and concealing whatever might seem injurious to me, he remained sometime, as it were, in a study on what I said. I stood before him all the while, with my Hands in my Hat, swallowing my Spittle, and staring on him in such a manner, as he might easily guess I asked him, when we should go to Dinner, though I spake never a word to him of it. 'Twas now Two of the Clock, and I heard no more stir than if I had been in a Charnel-House. Moreover, this closed Gate, this profound Silence wherein all the House lay, the bare Walls, and the Chambers, which I could perceive through the Windows, to be naked, without so much as a Chair, or, so much as a Trunk or Coffer in in them; all this, me thought, promiss'd but ill, and brought a sad Damp upon my Spirits.  
The Squire came at last out of his study, and said, Hast thou Dined, Child? No indeed, Sir, answered I, how could I, seeing I have attended your Worship ever since Eight in the Morning? For my part, adds the Squire, I had already Breakfasted when I met thee, and when this happens, as it does sometimes, I have no Stomach to my Dinner, thou must have patience then till Supper.  
I had in good earnest like to have dropped down at the hearing of these words, not altogether so much for Hunger, as at the consideration of Fortunes constant persecuting me. At this instant, all my past sufferings came into my mind; and I especially remembered the presage I had, and unwillingness to leave the Curate's Service, out of an Apprehension of meeting with some Master worse than him. However, using violence on myself, I said to him in the best manner I could, Sir, 'pray' be not troubled at that; I am, I thank God, of that Temper, that little eating suffices me, and all the Masters I ever served, will give me this Testimony. Temperance is a great virtue in a Young Man, replied the Squire; and I love thee the more for this: It belongs only to Swine to glut themselves; and, in my judgement, Temperance, is the chief Note of an honest Man. I understand you, said I, within myself; but cursed for ever be this Quality, so greatly admired by all the Masters I ever yet served.  
I at length made off from my Master, and got into a corner of the Court, and began to eat some pieces of Bread, which were the remains of some good Peoples Charity. He coming upon me unawares, asked me, What I was doing there? I came and shewed him the Bread, not being in a condition to give him another Answer, because I had my Mouth full of it.  
He took one of the best and largest pieces of the Three, which I shewed him, and said to me, In good faith, Lad, this is good Bread. It's too hard and dry, replied I, Sir, to be so admirable. But I vow and protest it is, said he, prithee who gave it thee? was it made with clean Hands, canst thou tell? I took it, said I, without any Enquiry, and I eat it as you see, without any Squeamishness. God grant it be cleanly made, continued he; and putting it to his Mouth, he began to devour it with as great an Appetite as I did mine; saying at every morsel he bit, This is admirable Bread, as ever I eat in my days.  
Observing the hast he made, I thought good to hasten my place, least he having done before me, should be so kind and courteous, as to proffer me his farther Assistance.  
We both laboured so well, that we ended together at the same Instant. He then gently brushed off the crumbs from his Clothes, and entred into a kind of Pantry, whence he drew out an old broken jar, and having drank out of it, he lovingly invited me to the same. I answered him( feigning great Sobriety) Sir, I drink no Wine: But you may drink Water, said he, for that's the liquour I offer thee. I took the Pot and drank, or pretended so to do, for it was not Thirst that most tormented me.   

CHAP. XII. An Account of the Squire's Bed.  
WE past the rest of the Day, he in asking me Questions, and I in answering them the best I could; and Night being come, he made me go into the Room, whence he fetched his Pot of Water, and said to me, Come let's make my Bed, to the end thou mayst learn how to do it in my Absence. I passed then on one side, and he on the other, and thus soon made an end of the Business.  
This Bed consisted of an Hurdle laid over with two wretched Tresses, a silly rotten hard Mat, and on that his Bed-Clothes, which, for want of washing, differed little from the Mat. We adjusted all, however, as well as we could: When the Mat was spread on the Hurdle, every stick appeared like to the Ribs of a lean Calf: We spread over on this a Coverlet, suitable to the rest of the Gear; 'tis hard to say of what stuff it was. It being almost Night, Lazarillo, said he, 'tis now too late to go to the Market, it being a long way hence, and besides, a Man cannot safely pass the Streets for ruffians and Thieves, who snatch off Mens Hats, Cloaks, or Swords in the Dark; let's therefore pass over this Night, as well as we can, to Morrow, God willing, we shall be better provided. The reason why I am no better stored with Provision is, because I have hitherto wanted a Servant, and am used to eat in the City; but now we shall keep new and better Orders. Sir, said I, 'pray' take no Care for me; I can pass very well a day or two without Meat. Thou wilt therefore, said he, live the longer, if the Sayings of Wise Men be true; That a slender Diet maintains Health. Well, said I, then, I believe I shall never die; for I have always kept to this Rule, though against my Will, and am afraid must observe it for ever.  
After this he went to Bed, making his Hose and doublet his Bolster, and causing me to lye at his Feet, where I never slept a wink; the hard Hurdle galling my naked Bones, which through Hunger and Sorrow, had but little Flesh on them. I cursed then my hard Fortune a Thousand times; and the greatest vexation of all, was, I durst not change sides for fear of disturbing him.  
When he arose in the Morning, he began to shake and clean his Hose, doublet and Cloak; I was his Brush, and so he dressed himself with great leisure. Then I gave him Water to wash; and having combed himself, he takes his Sword and kisseth it, and putting it on, said to me, Lazarillo, didst thou know the worth of this Blade, thou wouldst bless thyself: no Gold can purchase it; for as many as Antonio made, he could never give such Temper to any as to this. Then drawing it out of the Scabbard, he tasted the Edge with his Fingers, saying, Dost thou observe; I'll undertake to cut through a whole Fleece of Wool with it. Whereunto I answered softly, And I'll undertake to cut through a Six Penny Loaf with my Teeth, though they be not of such hard Metal.  
Then up went the Sword, which he hung at his Girdle, and so marched forth into the Street, keeping exact time with his Feet, holding his head up like a Turkycock, throwing the end of his Cloak sometimes over his Shoulder, and otherwhiles under his Arm, with his right Hand always on his side. At his going out, said he, Lazarillo, I go to Mass, in the mean time make the Bed, and set the Chamber to rights, and afterwards go to the River and fill our jar with Water: But be sure, whatever thou dost, have a care of the Door, for fear of Thieves, least any of'em rob us; and lay the Key in this private place, that I may have it, should I chance to return before thee. Having said these words, out he marched, with such a stately Air, and Gesture, that a Man would swear, who had not known him, that he was at least some Grandee of Spain.  
Being then alone, I could not forbear lifting up my hands with Admiration; Lord, said I, who looking on my Master's Countenance and Gesture, would think what a Supper and Lodging he had last Night, and but that he had well Breakfasted this Morning? Who would imagine such a noble Gentleman eat nothing all yesterday, but one piece of Bread, which his Servant Lazarillo had kept a day and a night in his Bosom? Wherefore to say the Truth, it could not be very clean: Who would suspect he had dried this morning his Face and Hands on the inside of his Coat, for want of a Towel? Good God, how many are there in the World, who for the sake of a little Bravery, do suffer more, than they would for the love of Thee!   

CHAP. XIII. He turns Mumper again. His Master's Discourse thereupon.  
THus did I stand, as it were in an ecstasy, on the threshold of the Door, with my Arms across my Stomach, and mine Eyes fixed on the Squire, till he had turned up the corner of the Street. Having lost sight of him, I went back into the House and ransacked every corner of it from top to bottom, there being nothing to stay me but the wretched Bed, which I soon made. I took then the jar, and went to the River, where I espied my Master in a Garden, entertaining himself with Two Ladies, who were masked. They were of that sort, as are wont to Breakfast along the Banks of this River, without bringing any thing along with them to eat, in hopes of meeting with those that would furnish them.  
My Squire then was walking between these Two virtuous Ladies devising a Thousand Gallantries, and charming their Ears with softer and smother Language than ever Ovid wrote. These good Ladies finding him sufficiently enamoured with them, I heard 'em make a motion to him of giving them a Treat. But his Purse being as could as his Love was hot, he was here struck dead; a could sweat might be seen on his Face, his Colour was changed, and he became Speechless. They being well versed in the World, immediately found out his Distemper, and shamefully threw him off.  
I employed myself, during this Scene, in gnawing some Colwort Stalks for my Breakfast; and having filled my jar with Water, without being perceived by my Master, I returned home, intending to sweep some part of the House that had most need, but the deuce a bit of a Broom could I find to do it withal; so that not knowing whereon to employ myself, I was resolved to expect patiently till Noon, my Master's Return, hoping he might bring home something with him for our Dinner.  
I tarried for him in vain, it striking Two a Clock and he not come; whereupon I lost all patience, and pressed with Hunger, which makes, as the Proverb says, the wolf leave the Wood; I left my dismal Abode, shut the Door after me, and went to take up mine old Trade again.  
I went begging about from Door to Door, with a low and languishing Voice; my Hands thrust into my Bosom, and mine Eyes turned up towards Heaven, and the Names of more Saints in my Mouth than ever were in the world; not failing to stop at those Houses, where there seemed most likelihood of getting any thing.  
I had sucked in this Art, as I may say, with my Milk, learning all the Secrets of it from my blind Master; who was certainly the greatest Artist in the World at it. I had made so good use of his Lessons in this occasion, that before it was Four of the Clock, notwithstanding our Citizens hard heartedness, and the bad Year, I had secured a pound of Bread in my belly, and twice as much in my Bosom and Sleeves. I then returned Home, and passing through the Market, a good Woman gave me a piece of Neats-Foot, and a few bits of boiled Tripe. I found at my Return Home, my poor Squire, who had already folded up his Cloak; and having laid it on the Bench, took large strides walking in the Court. As I came in, he made up to me, I thought to quarrel with me for staying so long; but, poor Man, he was of a more peaceable Temper; for he only asked me, Where I had been. In good Truth, Sir, said I, I stayed here till past Two a Clock, and seeing you not Return, I have been about the Town, recommending myself to the Charity of good People, who have given me what you see here, added I, in showing him the Bread and Tripe, which I pulled out of my Sleeves and Bosom.  
I knew this sight rejoiced him; however, he was pleased to say, Staying so long I have dined; I do not blame thee; it's better to beg than to steal: Only be careful of my Honour, and let it not be known thou belongst to me. This is an easy Task, said I, for I have no great Acquaintance in this Town, and I wish with all my Heart, I had never come here. 'Pray', Sir, be not solicitous about this Matter; the World has other Employment, than to come and ask me such kind of Questions. Well eat then, poor Lazarillo, said he to me, we shall be better accommodated one of these days; for, to speak the Truth, I believe this is an unfortunate House to me. Since I first set Foot into it, all conveniencies are wanting; it's certainly built in an ill place; it lies under a Curse, I believe: some Houses there are, in which the most lucky Man in the World shall never thrive: wherefore I shall live here no longer than this Month, might I have the House for nothing.   

CHAP. XIV. He dines his Master, the Squire, as well as himself, with what he had begged.  
I sat down in the midst of this Discourse, on an end of the Bench, and began to eat, to make him believe I was still Fasting: When I beholded my Hungry Squire, though without seeming to take notice of it, hold his Eyes fixed on my Bosom and Skirt, which served me both for a Table and Napkin.  
God pity me, as much as I then pitied this poor Man: I felt his Distemper as much as he did himself; my experience rendering me sensible enough in these cases. I knew not whether I should invite him or not; for having  told me he had dined, I thought he would make it a point of Honour to refuse me: However, I was very willing to deliver him from the pain I saw him in, and to impart to him what I had, as I had done before. Besides, I had better cheer to treat him with, and could better spare it than formerly.  
Both our desires were at length accomplished; for, having begun to eat, he made up to me in his Walk, saying, I vow and protest, Lazarillo, thou hast the best Grace in Eating, of any man in the World; the bare seeing thee Eat, will make a Man's stomach return, though he dined never so well but an hour before.  
A very pretty Introduction, thought I; a body would think thy Hunger might spare Apologies, and make thee forget these Fooleries. However, to help him forward, I said to him, Sir, 'tis good Work, that makes a good Workman: This is excellent good Bread, and this Neats-Foot— How, Neats-Foot? cried he, interrupting me, Yes Sir, replied I, Neats-Foot. If it be so then, replied he, I have this to say to thee, Thou hast the best Meat in the World; and, in my Fancy, there's no Partridge or Pheasant comes near it. 'Pray' Sir, said I, do me the honour to taste it( putting at the same time the Neats-Foot into his Hands, between Two slices of the best Bread I had) and you'll find in effect 'tis a dainty for a Prince, so well is it sod and seasoned.  
He sate down by me without further Entreaty, and began to eat, or rather devour, what I had given him, to the very Bones, which hardly escaped the Fury of his Appetite. O! says he, what delicious Meat is this? The Sauce, thought I, wherewith thou eatest it, will make every thing relish well. In good faith, added he, at last, I have eaten this with as good an Appetite, as if I had eaten nothing all the day. I do not at all question it, said I to myself; a Man may safely swear as much.  
He bad me give him the Pot of Water, which was as full as when I brought it; and seeing he had forgotten to drink, judge ye whether he had remembered to eat. We past over Eight or Ten days in this manner, in every one of which my Master failed not to go take the Air through the Streets, with the same stately Motion, and affencted Gate, leaving me the Care of providing for the Family.  
I often reflected on the Frowardness of my Fortune; which having taken me out of the Hands of Two covetous Masters, who so scantily fed me, had now made me find one, who was so far from maintaining me, that I kept him from starving. Yet I bore him no ill will, but on the contrary hearty pitied him.  
I was fully satisfied of his Misery. One day when he rose in his Shirt to go to the top of the House to ease himself, I felt in his Breeches, which he had left at his Beds Head, and found only a small Velvet Purse, in which there was not so much as one single Farthing, nor the least sign any had been there for this Ten Years. 'Tis a poor miserable Wretch, said I; no body can give what he has not. 'Twas not the same with the covetous Priest, nor crafty blind Man, who made me starve, although God had given them sufficient; it costing the one but a Pax tecum, and the other a God restore it you. 'Twas these Tigers I had reason to hate, for as to my poor Squire, in my Conscience, I believe he would have been very liberal, had he had wherewithal. And truly, when I meet with such sort of People in the same Garb, like Port and Gravity, I cannot but pity 'em; imagining they live in the same manner, as the poor Squire, my Master, did. Well, notwithstanding the unlikelihood of growing rich in his Service, I should prefer the serving of him a Thousand times before the others. Yet one thing there was in him which I could not approve of, to wit, his intolerable Pride and Vanity. I would have had him known himself better, and considered that his condition required other Manners.   

CHAP. XV. The Extremities to which the Squire and Lazarillo were reduced.  
HOwever, this hindered me not from living quietly with him: But this Year happening to be a Year of great scarcity of Provisions, the Magistrates of the City set forth a Proclamation, enjoining all poor People, that were Strangers, to depart out of the City; such as were found there after such a time, being to be punished with Stripes. I saw whole droves of poor People whipped out of the Town; and this, for a great while together, was the daily, sight; which struck such terror in me, that I dared not run the hazard of Begging any more. Then might you have seen a strange kind of Diet, and silence in our Family. We passed over Three days without eating a Bit, or speaking a Word. It happened well for me that I had gotten some small Acquaintanee, with certain poor Women our Neighbours, who lived on Spinning and Knitting of Caps. They, alas, were not able to do much for me; yet that little they gave me, saved my Life, and hindered me from Starving.  
I more pitied my poor Squire than myself; for the deuce a Bit did this miserable Sinner eat, for Eight Days together at least, as I know of. I cannot tell where he went, nor what he did; yet you might see him sometimes come up the Street, strutting like a Big bellied Woman, and looking smilingly like a Man that had dined with his Prince. He would stand at our Door with his Tooth-pick in his Hand, picking those Teeth which had little need for any thing that had stuck in them with eating; lamenting still the unluckiness of the House we dwelled in; It grieveth me, said he, to see how all our Sorrow comes of this House; thou seest how dark and uncomfortable it is; and as long as we live here, we are like to be thus unhappy; would the Month were out, that we might get far from it.  
We lived in this misery, persecuted by Hunger, when one day, I know not by what Chance, a Ryal,( a piece of Money to the value of Six Pence,) fell into his hands. He came home as great in his own thoughts, as if he had had all the Treasures of the Indies in his Possessions; he gave it me transported with joy, saying, Here, Lazarillo, God begins to open his Hand; go to the Market, buy Bread, and Wine, and Flesh; and feast in spite of the Devils Malice against us; and to complete thy Joy, know, that I have hired another House; and that we shall tarry here in this unhappy Abode no longer than the end of this Month. Cursed be him( continued he without giving me leave to Answer) that laid the first ston for it. As I am a Gentleman, adds he, not a drop of Wine, nor the least crumb of Flesh has went down my Throat all the time I have lived here; neither have I had a Moment of Rest in it; so that I believe hardly can a Man find a more dark, dismal and sorrowful Place. Go, and return quickly; we shall Dine to day like Princes.  
I took my Ryal and jar, and hastily brushed along the Street towards the Market-place, with that joy, as is scarely to be imagined; and as I ran along, thanking God for the Assistance he had sent us, and counting on my Fingers, how I should lay out my Money, I saw a dead Corps appear, which was carrying to the Grave, attended by a great Convoy of Priests. I planted myself against a Wall, and after the Corps was passed by, I saw a Woman in deep Mourning, followed by several others, who lamented in a most piteous manner; And, the better to express her Grief, I heard her say: alas my poor Husband! whither are they going to carry thee? To the dark and dismal House: To the uncomfortable and sorrowful House: To the House were they neither eat nor drink.  
The place of our Dwelling appeared to me so exactly described in this Woman's Expressions, as made me break through the Crowd, running down the Street, as fast as I could, directly Home, where locking and barricadoing the Door in all hast, calling out to my Master for help, and embracing him, I emplored his Aid and Assistance; whereat he was not a little startled, thinking it had been some other Matter, demanding of me what might be the occasion of all this. O Sir, said I, keep fast the Door; for they are a going to bring in a dead Coarse here. Whereupon I up and  told him what I had seen and heard in the Street; and he, notwithstanding his Misery, fell into an hearty fit of Laughter; which being over, he sent me on my former Errand.   

CHAP. XVI. The Reasons which moved the Squire to come to Toledo.  
I Had a great desire to know, what occasioned his Arrival at Toledo; for I perceived at my first coming to him, that he was a perfect Stranger in these Parts. My Curiosity was at length satisfied; for, being one day in better Humour than ordinary, we having made a reasonable good Dinner, he related to me all his Adventures. He  told me he was of Old Castile, and only left his Country, because he would not be obliged to put off his Cap to a Person of Quality, his near Neighbour. But Sir, said I, if he were above you by his Birth and Estate, as you seem to aclowledge, you ought certainly to Salute him first, without doing yourself any injury; seeing that on his part, he was not behind hand with you in Civility. All this is true, said he to me; but yet he ought to begin once, and force me to let him Salute me first, in laying hold on my Hand, when he saw I began to put it to my Hat. Truly, Sir, for my part, said I, I should not have been so rigidly exact in these Matters. Thou art but a Young Man, replied he, and dost not understand these Points of Honour, which are the only study and concern of People of Quality. However, let me tell thee this, That though I am but a bare Squire, and should meet a Lord in the Streets, and he Saluted not me in as full and lowly a manner as I him, I say, in as full a manner, the next time I met him, I would turn into some House, feigning Business there, or else pass by and take no notice of him. Dost thou observe what I say? continued he: Excepting God and the King, a Gentleman is to yield to no one, and such a one ought to set a just Value on himself. I remember, one day, I met with a Neighbour of mine, whom I had like to have run through the Guts; for, in meeting me, he gave me this Salutation, God save your Worship, Sir. God save your Worship, said I, Goodman Loggerhead; is this your way of saluting a Man of my Quality? The poor Man whenever he met me afterwards, would afar off down with his Hat to the Ground, and so word his compliment, that I never afterwards had occasion to quarrel with him.  
I could not forbear saying to him here, 'Pray', Sir, inform me, where's the wrong, in saying to a Man, God save you, or God give you Happiness? Thou art a very silly Fellow, answered he, in these Matters: This Form of Salutation is not amiss to ordinary People; but, to a Person of my Quality, the least that can be said, is, Sir, your Humble Servant; or, if shorter, Your Servant Sir, provided he that I meet be a Gentleman. Whence thou mayst understand, whether I had not reason to complain of this Gentleman in our Country; who, to tell the Truth, would at every rencontre, out with his God save you, Sir. Surely, I think I shall not take this Form of Salutation from any ones Hands, but the King; though your Worship was put at the end of it to soften it. Where am I now, said I to myself? What help can I expect from a Man who takes it ill, that any one should desire God to help him?  
Neither am I so poor, continued the Squire, but that I have in my Country certain Houses; which had they been built according to my desire, and stood in Valladolid, they would be worth at least an Hundred or Two hundred Pounds; not to mention a Dove-House, whence I could draw every Year an Hundred or Two of Pigeons, besides other things; all which I forsook on the account of mine Honour. I retired into this City, expecting to meet with some good Fortune, but matters have not fallen out as I expected. I intended to have been Gentleman to some Nobleman; and I do really believe, had I light on such a one, I should have been taken into his Bosom; so well could I dissemble with him, and humour him: I would have burst forth into Laughter at the sorriest of his Jests, applauded his Wit, though he had been the greatest Blockhead in Europe; never have mentioned what might displease him, though his Life and Honour lay at Stake: I would be always about his Person, seeming to be delighted with his Company above all Mens, and render myself agreeable to him by all the Courtly M thods now in fashion; often blame such as are about him, that he may think me careful of his Interests; and, if he himself chides any of his Servants, then would I speak some smooth Words, which may seem to be in favour of him that committed the Fault, though indeed it should aggravate it. I would also hold a Correspondence with busy Bodies, and inquirers into other Peoples Concerns; whereby I should never want matters to entertain his Lordship with; and with these Qualifications, I could domineer over his Servants, and engross his Favour wholly to myself. For if a Man be virtuously inclined, conscientious, and a lover of Truth and Honesty, he will soon be discarded, and looked upon as a melancholy, whimsical Fellow in these great Families, and wholly unfit for Conversation in the World. I believe, though I say it, there's no Man alive, could better behave himself in these Circumstances; but 'tis not my Fortune to meet with such a Noble Patron.   

CHAP. XVII. How the Squire was interrupted. An Inventory of his moveables. He leaves his Servant Lazarillo in the Lurch.  
THus did my Master, the Squire, lament his Ill fortune, and so pleased was he with this Discourse, that he would have held it on till night, had he not been interrupted by an Old Woman attended by a Man; the first came for Money for the use of the Bed, the second for the Rent of the House; both their sums put together came to about Six or Seven Shillings; more Money than he touched in a whole Year. He gave them very good Words, telling them he was now going out to Change a broad Piece; so that if they would be there at Night, they should not fail of their Money.  
He went out indeed, but never came in: And his Creditors failed not to come at the appointed time; but they were forced to put off the Business till the next Morning, it being late, and he not returned. I dared not to lye in the House alone, and therefore went to the Neighbours, related to them what had passed, and got a Lodging amongst them.  
In the Morning the Creditors returned to prosecute their Point, inquired for the Squire amongst the Neighbours; but the bide was flown. The good Women said to 'em, Here's his Valet, and the Key of the Door, and this is all we know. They asked me, What was become of my Master? I answered, I knew no more than they, he not having appeared since he went to change his broad Piece, and that I was greatly afraid he was gone away with the change, and left us all in the Lurch.  
The Creditors hereupon fetched an Officer and a Scrivener, and taking the Key, they opened the Door in the presence of Witnesses to seize and appraise the Goods, that they might be paid; but, having, preached all about the House, they found no more Furniture than what I have already mentioned. They then demanded of me, Where my Master had conveyed all his Furniture? Where he had sent his Plate, Money and Jewels? I answered them, I thought they were very merrily disposed, in putting such a Question. Without doubt, said the Creditors, he has conveyed away all this last Night; 'pray', therefore, Mr. sergeant, lay hold on this his Servant, he must give us an account where they are carried. The Officer hereupon came to me; and taking me by the Collar said, to affright me, That if I did not discover what I knew, he was going to lay me up in a Dungeon.  
I was never so terrified in all my Life, and therefore I promised to tell them any thing. Very well then, replied the Officer, growing now calm, give us a Categorical Answer to what we shall ask, and then you need not fear any thing. The Scrivener then sate down on the Bench, to writ his Inventory, asking me first in general, What Estate my Master had? Sir, said I, my Master  told me that he had a great deal of fair Ground to build Houses on; and, besides, a Dove-house, but which is wholly ruined at present. Very well, said the Creditors, how little soever, these may be worth, yet certainly here's enough to pay us. But where abouts in the Town is this Place? said the Scrivener to me. In his own Country, and not in this Town, answered I. Then we are all fairly fitted, replied they. And of what Country is he then? continued the Scrivener. He  told me he was of Old Castile, said I. The Scrivener and sergeant burst out into a fit of Laughter at this last Answer of mine, saying to those that had employed them, Here's enough to pay us all, we need no more. Gentlemen, said the Neighbours, who had been all this while present, you speak to a poor innocent Lad, who has been with the Squire but a few days, and knows no more of his Affairs than you do. Alas, the poor Creature is always with us, and we have relieved him as much as we are able, and kept him hitherto from starving.  
My Innocency being thus justified, they asked me no more Questions. But the Man and the Old Woman came not off at so cheap a Rate: For the Question was, who should pay the Charges; whereupon arose a great Noise, the sergeant and Scrivener demanding their Fees. The Creditors pretended, that seeing there was nothing in the House, and consequently no siezure made, there could be no Fees due. And they alleged, they had left several Businesses, wherein they should have gotten more, to attend them.  
In fine, after much crying and tempesting on both sides, in the conclusion, the sergeant and Scrivener, loaded a Porter with the Coverlet belonging to the Old Woman. Although the Load, as may be gathered from what I said before of it, was not very great, yet every one bore a part of it; the Creditors and Officers holding each of 'em a Corner of it, and pulling and striving who should carry it off, the weakest being drawn away by the strongest. I know not where they settled to end their difference, neither do I know how 'twas at last decided; yet this I dare swear, that the Coverlet paid for all, it not being in a condition to hold out long against all their Attacks.  
Thus did my Third Master leave me, whereby I perceived that Fortune went continually against me; for we see Servants every day leave their Masters, but Masters seldom their Servants.   

CHAP. XVIII. How Lazarillo enters into the Service of a Friar, and afterwards into that of a Pardon-monger.  
I Was now to seek for a Fourth Master, whom I found by the means of my good Neighbours, he being a Friar, and( as they said) of kin to them. He was a great Enemy to the Choire and Common Table; who loved only to gad abroad, and see the World; whereby, I believe, he wore out more shoes than all the Convent besides. The first shoes I ever wore, I had from him; but, being obliged to follow him up and down, I was presently ready for another pair. Being not able for want of strength, to endure these continual Marches, and accommodate myself to certain sottish Humours of his, which I do not think fit to mention, though I thought good to leave him.  
I afterwards past over into the Service of a pretended Pardon-monger, a special Rogue, if ever there was one in the World; having a Thousand Tricks and Devices to put off his false Ware.  
As soon as he came into a Village, the first Visit he made, was to the Curate, or his Vicars, to make them his Friends, by means of some small Presents. Before he accosted them, he had an account of their Abilities. If they were Scholars, then he would be sure not to speak to them in Latin, but content himself with Complementing them in Spanish; but if those he applied himself to were ignorant People, then would he confounded them with hard Words, and barbarous Terms, which neither he nor they understood, whereby they gaped in an Amazement at his Learning.  
When he could not put off his Pardons, by ordinary and common ways, then would he have recourse to extraordinary ones. He preached up for Two or Three days the great Efficacy of his Pardons, in certain places belonging to the Archbishop of Toledo's diocese; and though he forgot no Artifice to put them off, yet no body came to buy one of them, neither was there any likelihood of a better Market; which brought him into such fits of Rage, as made him curse and foam like a Madman. Yet at last, he fell on this Stratagen. He gave the People then to understand, That he was on the point of Departure, and would therefore take his leave of them the next morning, after he had made the last Publication of his Pardons. He was attended( according to Custom) by an Officer of Justice, with whom he struck into Play after Supper.  
They pretended a Quarrel about a Cast, and thereupon fell into high Words. My Master said, The Officer was a Rogue, and he could prove him one; and he, on the other hand, affirmed, My Master was a Cheat. The first seized on an half Pike, which he found near at Hand, and the other clapped his Hand to his Sword.  
At the noise which we made, the Host and Hostess, together with several of the Neighbourhood, ran in betwixt them, who striven in appearance to make a Rejoinder and kill one another. But the People which came in Crowds, drawn thither by the great noise which sounded all about, taking their Weapons from them, they afresh began to injure one another with words; and the Officer failed not to call my Master Cheat, charging him with drawing up the Bulls himself, and imposing Counterfeit Pardons on the People.  
There seeming no likelihood of according them, the Officer, therefore, was carried to another House, and the Pardon-monger remained in the Inn, with all the marks of a Man highly provoked. The Host and Hostess, together with the Neighbours, used all their endeavours to appease him, but to no purpose; wherefore they were forced, it being late, to take their leave of him; and so we went to Bed.  
The next Morning, my Master got to the Church, and there assembled the People. Those who had been Witnesses of the former days Quarrel, failed not to publish what they had heard the Officer say; so that every body now suspected the Fraud. To hear these Villagers murmur, I thought our Affairs were ruined in this place, and I would have willingly  told my Master as much, if I dared.  
In the mean time came the Officer, assuring the people, there was nothing trurer than what he affirmed last Night; and that, of his Knowledge, the Bull was Counterfeited. My Master heard him with great Calmness, and let him say what he would. But at length lifting up his Eyes to Heaven, and afterwards turning them on the Officer with Indignation, he pronounced a Curse on him as a Slanderer. Which proved so weighty, that the poor Officer was thrown on his Back by it, with that violence, that the Pavement resounded again; when he began immediately to foam at the Mouth, and spread out his Legs and Hands, to gnash his Teeth, and to be in such Convulsions, as affrighted all People from coming near him. Yet at length, the boldest and strongest amongst them caught hold, some on his Hands, and others on his Legs. Never any Skittish Mule gave so many kicks with his Feet, as this malicious Officer. There were above Fifteen Men upon him, and yet they could not Master him; and if he could but get an Hand loose, he would be sure to take them over the Face. My Master was all this while in the Pulpit on his Knees, his Eyes and Hands lifted up to Heaven, in such an Ecstacy, that all the noise in the Church, could not bring him to mind what was doing below. However, some compassionate People came up to him, and pulling him by the Sleeve, desired him for the love of God, to try whether he could not by his Prayers, take off the Curse which he had justly laid on this Officer, who had so vilely and maliciously Slandered him.  
At length my Master suffered himself to be awakened out of his Trance, and casting his Eyes on them, saith, To show that I forgive him, I desire we may all go together and pray for him; and that, if for his Wickedness, God has suffered any evil Spirit to enter into him, it might please him to cast him forth again. They all then fell on their Knees before the Altar, and having Sung the litany, my Master came with the across and Holy Water, with his Eyes and Hands so lift up to Heaven, that nothing but a little of the Whites appeared: Then did he begin a no less long than devout Prayer, wherein he desired that the poor Offender, who was seduced by the Devil, might be delivered from his Power and Tyranny, and restored to his former Senses. Then he sent for one of the Pardons, and laying it on the Patients Head, he began to amend, and by degrees to come to himself. As soon as he got up, he fell down on his Knees to my Master, begging in a most pathetic manner his Pardon, acknowledging, that whatever he had spoken against the Pardons, was at the mere instigation of the Devil, who greatly laboured to hinder People from receiving the benefit of them. In short, my Master freely forgave him, and they were made Friends.  
Hereupon followed such a Trade for Pardons, that neither Male nor Female, Young nor Old, in all the neighbouring Parts, but would have one. So that my Master put off near Ten or Twelve thousand, without giving himself the trouble of Preaching one Sermon for that purpose. I silly wretch as I was, greatly marveled at this strange accident, believing with the People, that all this whole proceeding had been truly miraculous; till I heard my Master and the Officer laughing and joaking in private, at the Peoples simplicity: Then I plainly understood the Roguery of the whole Contrivance, and reflected within myself, how many such Cheats are used in the world, to deceive the ignorant and credulous People. From that time I conceived such a Detestation at this abominable Cheat, that I could stay no longer with him, and therefore I left him, having been in his Service about Six Months.   

CHAP. XIX. Lazarillo serves a Painter; a Church-man; and after these a sergeant; and lastly becomes a Common crier.  
I Afterwards served a Painter, who employed me to grinned his Colours, but I soon grew weary of this Master: And being now grown to Man's Estate, I endeavoured to find out some Employ more proper for me; when entering one day into the Cathedral, one of the Chaplains casting his Eyes on me, and liking my Looks, gave me an Ass in Charge, with Four Tankards and a Whip, to sell Water up and down the Town, and this was the first Step of my Preferment; for we had regulated our Affairs in this manner: I was to bring my Chaplain every day Six Pence, excepting Saturday, which day I had to myself; and what I could gain besides over and above my stinted allowance. I played my Cards so well, that at Four Years end, I was able to buy an old svit of Clothes, together with an old Fashioned Sword and Belt; and being thus gently appareled, I thought myself too great to follow my usual Employment, and therefore gave up the Ass to my Master again, together with the Tackle, and so took my leave of him.  
I after this betook myself to serve, a sergeant, but I was soon weary of this place, for the danger that attended it. My Master having Arrested a certain Person, who got out of our Hands into the Church; the people thence driven out my Master with Stones and Staves; and though I was so light heel'd that they could not overtake me, I however quitted my Place upon it; and it studying to find some more profitable and honourable Employ, through favour of my Friends, I obtained the Office of a Common-Cryer: My Business was to give notice of such things as are to be sold; whereby I became a noted Man, beloved and respected by all the Town.   

CHAP. XX. Lazarillo Marries Mr. Archdeacons Maid.  
I Had the Honour to be employed by Mr. Archdeacon in the crying his Wines, who having a good Opinion of my Honesty, Married me with his Maid. I considered such a Match could not be any ways disadvantageous to me. The Wife he gave me proves a good Housewife, and Master Archdeacon assists and protects me for her sake. He presents us every Year with a Load of Wheat, and against good times, sends us in several Joints of Meat, and gives us all his cast Clothes. He made us take a little House near him, and, for the most part, on Sundays we Dine with him. Whence it is that ill Tongues spare not to say several things contrary to my Wife's Honour, at which I am not at all moved, for I know she's not a Woman that's fleshly given. These Discourses are so common, that Mr. Archdeacon was pleased to take notice of them himself, saying to me, before my Wife, Friend, Lazarillo, he that minds what every body says may do himself hurt, but no good. I am very sensible what People say at thy Wife's frequenting my House; let 'em talk on, mind thou thine own Interest, this thou mayst be sure of, That I am thy Friend, will do thee all the good I can, but no hurt. Sir, said I, I am very sensible of the Obgations I have to your Worship; yet I must say, and that the rather, my Wife being present, That she has had several Children, before she was Married, according to my Friends Reports. At the hearing of this my Wife began to utter such bitter Curses and Oaths, that I was afraid the House would have fallen down on our Heads; and after this fell a weeping, cursing the time she ever Married me, so that I wished I had been several Yards under Ground, when I uttered this Matter. Wherefore I, on the one side, and Master Archdeacon on the other, did all we could to comfort her, and make her leave weeping, vowing and solemnly promising I would never speak a Syllable to her of that Subject, as long as I lived with her; and that I was withal contented she should frequent Mr. Archdeacon's House Night and Day: Wherewith being pacified, we all grew Friends again. From this time, whenever I heard any Man mention a word of this Matter, I would hinder him from going forward, saying, If you be my Friend, sow not discord between me and my dear Wife, whom I love better than mine own Eyes; being willing at any time to swear by the Holy Mass, That an honester Woman is not in the World; and he that saith the contrary, shall know I wear a Sword to vindicate her, and mine own Honour. After this Declaration, no body troubled me any more about that Matter, by which means I kept peace at home.   

CHAP. XXI. Lazarillo gets acquainted with certain Germans of the Train of Charles the V. and what happened on this Occasion.  
ABout this time the Emperor Charles V. made his Entrance into this City with all his Court. I shall not make any mention of the great Feastings, and other Solemnities for his Reception. Whilst he was here, I got several considerable Acquaintances, going never without a Bottle of good Wine, and some of the Country Fruits, as a Token of my Trade. I by this means became acquainted with several Germans of the Emperor's Attendance: And being not hated by the rest of the World, I saw myself so born up, that when I should have committed a murder, or fallen into some great misfortune, with the Friends and supports that I had, I should come off scotfree.  
Whilst my Germans were here, I resorted to their Lodgings, and lead them to such places where the best Wine was Sold, of which they usually drank so much, that he who went alone into the Tavern, usually came out thence accompanied by Four or Five to hold him up. That which I liked best of all, was, They would not let me spend one Farthing, all the while I kept them Company. And whenever I put my hand to my Pocket, for Manners sake only, they would be ready to quarrel with me; neither did we only drink together, but always had some good relishing Bit; sometimes we had a Joint of Mutton Sod in Wine, otherwhiles pieces of Bacon, or some such like Meats, with which they would not only Feast me, but give me enough to carry Home, to serve my Wife and little Family an whole Week.  
The good cheer I made, caused me to call to mind the Hunger I had heretofore endured. But, as the Proverb says, Fair Weather does not last always. For the Court left Toledo, and my kind Friends, the Germans, at their departure were very earnest with me to go along with them: But remembering another Proverb, which tells us, Better is the Ill which is known, than the Good which is yet to know; I thanked them hearty for their Civilities, and took our leaves of one another with a Thousand Embraces, my Love to my Wife and little Daughter hindering me from accepting of their Proffers. I endeavoured to comfort myself with them, in the Solitude wherein my German Friends had left me. For, though I be in a great Town, and every where well known and received, yet methinks I am but in a Desert. And, in Truth, I know not what would become of me, were it not for my little Teresa, I say, my little Daughter; for I am cured of the Suspicions I had, occasioned by some Features of Resemblance, which I thought to see on her Face; but my Wife, who would not tell a lie for all the World, vowed to me in such a manner, That no body got her but myself; that a Man must be very obstinate not to believe her. In short, my mind is at ease as to that Point. And I only think now of passing the rest of my Days here in Quiet, and laying up something to buy my Daughter an Husband.    

THE SECOND PART OF THE LIFE OF Lazarillo de Tormes.   

ADVERTISEMENT.  
I Would not have the Reader's judgement imposed on, with the pursuit of the History of Lazarillo de Tormes, which is Printed in English; the Adventures in it are forced, the Characters so ill upheld, and the whole Contrivance so piteously carried on, that it is easily seen, 'tis not Lazarillo that speaks; but one that would have his dull Conceits pass under a Name so well received by the public. What I here offer the Reader, is the faithful Translation of some Fragments of the true Lazarillo, which have fallen into my Hands, and on which this other, without doubt, had wrought, but with very ill success.   

THE LIFE OF Lazarillo de Tormes. PART II.  

CHAP. I. Lazarillo grows an ill Husband. Death of the Archdeacon. Lazarillo's Misery after his Death.  
MY German Friends had so accustomend me to drinking, that I could not leave the Tavern neither Day nor Night; and the worst of it was, That I drank at my own cost, so that in Five or Six Months time, I saw an end of what I had gotten.  
I minded so little my Office of crier, that the profit I drew thence, was not sufficient to bear half my expenses; when I wanted Money, my Wife was forced to supply me, to make me quiet. However, she made no small noise on her side; and Mr. Archdeacon had something to do to pacify us.  
When I was in a condition to make use my Reason, I saw I was not altogether blameless. I sometimes therefore offered violence to myself, and stayed at home for Three or Four days together. But then could I tarry no longer, being every where uneasy but at the Tavern; having so habituated myself to those Places, that 'twas in a manner impossible to leave them. Yet I had so much good Advice, and so seriously reflected thereon, that I shewed considerable Amendment, so that I now kept at home for a Week together. But whatever care I took of myself, 'twas plainly seen that I did, as it were, force nature.  
My Wife, who I am sure loved me, could not see me long suffer; and moreover we seemed to incommode one another. Sitting one day in the Chimney-corner, she and I alone, she began to say to me, She plainly perceived this was not the Course of Life I affencted: She therefore counseled me to follow my inclinations, to be merry with my Friends, and to leave the rest to her.  
From that time, I found my Pockets well supplied, and Mr. Archdeacon and my Wife so changed their tone, that 'twas they that pressed me to leave the care of the Family to them, especially when they saw I began to keep home. I did not pretend to dive into the reasons of this, and without inquiries whence our Income flowed, I lead the easiest Life in the World.  
In the mean time my Wife was brought to Bed of a Son, and Mr. Archdeacon, who was his Godfather, loved him as dearly as if he had been his own. He daily said to me, That if he lived, he would see that he should be as well brought up, as if he had been his own, intending to make him his Heir. I admired the Kindness of this Man to a Child which was not his own, which made me spend my days merrily, referring the whole care and conduct of my Family, to my noble Patron, the Archdeacon.  
Thus happily did I live, till Mr. Archdeacon's Sickness disturbed our Felicity. He was seized with such a violent Fever, that in Three days time, he was reduced to the greatest Extremity.  
His Relations, who laid claim to his Estate, had soon notice of it, and therefore came crowding in upon him; and though it might seem, that their Interest should divide them, yet they agreed too well for my profit. Their first care was, to forbid my Wife and I an entrance into the House; and though the good Man often asked for us, they gave him so well to understand, that he must not any more think of the Things of this World, that he passed quietly into the other; we not having so much as the comfort of taking our leave of him, or without bestowing on us the least token of his Friendship.  
One Misfortune seldom comes alone. The Archdeacon was a Man in Authority, so that he was not to be importuned for such a trifle as the hire of our House. It appeared after his Death, that there was Two Years Rent due. He that owed it was not of accord; that Mr. Archdeacon had taken it for us, because his Heirs would not allow it; and therefore he immediately turned us out of Doors, and seized on our few movables for the Payment of his Rent.  
Of so many Friends wherewith I abounded Eight Days ago, not one appeared to help me in this urgent occasion, or, to give me shelter; and had it not been for a Charitable Lady, who took my Wife to Suckle her Child, and charge of mine, I must immediately have Mump'd about the Streets, as a poor decayed Gentleman. In Truth, the Archdeacon's Death proved of worse consequence to me, than what could have happened by either Plague, War or Famine.  
Yet I thought I had still a string left to my Bow in my Office of crier; but wretch as I was, having no Money to spend at Taverns, I could not any longer keep up a Correspondency. Then did I detest my Germans, as much as I loved them before; and I found when 'twas too late, that having accustomend myself to make good cheer in their Company, I had thereby put myself into a condition of making bad cheer all the days of my Life.   

CHAP. II. Lazarillo resolves to make a Voyage to the Indies. He meets with the Squire, who relates to him his Adventures.  
WHat should I do in this extremity? I knew no better course, than to seek my Fortune in the new World, seeing the Country wherein I was born and bread, would not relieve me. This was a beaten road, it being no new thing in Spain, when Businesses do not succeed, to go into the Indies to repair what's wanting.  
I resolved then upon this Voyage. I sold my criers Office to set me out, and having taken leave of my desolate Family, and kissed an hundred times my poor little Teresa, I partend one fair morning from Toledo with a stick in my Hand, and a Snapsack on my Shoulder. I could not now endure hardship as heretofore; wherefore I made but small journeys, and Husbanded my stock in the best manner I could.  
One day that I set out very early, to advance on my way, I saw a Man walk very gently before me, wrapped up in his Cloak. He wore a long Sword, whose end peeped through his Cloak, by a hole which it had made in it.  
It was not yet the time for walking; so that I was surprised to find in the High-Way a Man in this Equipage, which made me that I could not tell what to think of him, in the fear I had that he was there to Dismount Passengers. I Saluted him with a soft Air, saying to him, God save you, Sir. I forgive thee, answered he, without pulling his Nose out of his Cloak, for as I am accoutred, thou art not obliged to speak otherwise to me. I was surprised at his answer, thinking it to be only a pretence to quarrel; but being willing to take away all occasion; It was not, Sir, my design to give you any Offence, replied I. Be it so, answered he very briskly, but who learnt thee to salute Gentlemen, in this sottish manner? Let me die, if I do not think this God save you was brought into the World on purpose to drive me out of it.  
These words made me look on him more attentively, and having begun to let down his Cloak, from his Face, I knew him to be the Squire, whom I had heretofore served. I was glad, for several reasons, to meet him, and approaching him, Is it possible, My old Master, said I to him, that Six or Seven Years should so alter Lazarillo de Tormes, that you cannot know him? He viewed me, and fell on my Neck, Truly, Lazarillo, said he, I may well mistake thee, being so big and fat as thou ar●, having seen thee so lean and slender formerly.  
After several Embraces, and kind words on both sides; he asked me, Whither I was going? and having  told him; Thou goest, said he, the same way as I; come, let's go together, and relate to me what has befallen thee, since the night I was forced to leave thee, for reasons which thou mayst guess. I gave him an exact account, without concealing any thing; and made my History so long, that we arrived, as I finished it, at the Village, where we were to take up that Night.  
I went for something to refresh us: We knew one another perfectly well, so that he did not stand to compliment with me, in putting his Hand into his Pocket.  
He informed me afterwards that when he had gone out of the House, where we dwelled at Toledo, under pretence of Changing the broad Piece, not doubting but that those who dunn'd him, would be punctual at the time appointed; and considering moreover the small means he had of subsisting at Toledo, he resolved to return into his own Country, to sell the Estate which he had there, and to go from thence to seek his Fortune.  
I was surprised, added he, coming near, to see my Pidgeon-House built up, and some pairs of Oxen grazing in the Fields, which belonged to me: I drew near to a Labourer, that was at Work, and asking him, who he belonged to? I found by the Answers which he made me, that sometime after I had left my Village, for the reasons I have heretofore  told thee, the same Gentleman, which had obliged me to leave my Estate, had put himself in Possession of it, without any bodies opposing him, and there settled himself as I saw.  
Having taken this information, I went to one of my Old Neighbours, and published my return into the Village. He that had possessed himself of my Estate, was surprised at it. He could not but know me; my absence had not been long enough to make him forget me. We came therefore to an accommodation. He offered to give me my board as long as I lived, or else to make me a suitable Present, and thus I should leave him in quiet Possession.  
I accepted of the first condition, yet without tying myself to any thing; however, I required, that I should at least have the second place at his Table; that he should salute me on occasions, saying, Your Servant, Sir, and not God save you, Sir, I would rather have quitted all, than abated any thing in this Point.  
In these terms did I live Two Years, draging my Sword after me, and adored as much as I could wish, by the Country People; but at length this Idle Life displeased me, and perceiving moreover that the People of the House began to grow familiar with me, I would no longer stand to the first Bargain I made with the Gentleman; and therefore made him to understand I would go into the Army. He was very glad for his part to be rid of me, and therefore gave me very generously one of his best Horses, and Money sufficient, to furnish me for the Campaign, I Articling with him to make over all my Claims and Pretensions to him; thus did I bid adieu for ever to the place of my Birth.   

CHAP. III. The Squire continues the recital of his Adventures. Lazarillo and he associate together in the Voyage to the Indies.  
IT was not my real design to go into the Army, and therefore a quarter of a League distant from my Village, I left the Road of Catalonia, for that of Madrid; where I hoped to make my Fortune with less danger. For to tell the Truth, though I have worn a Sword all my Life time, yet I had never no great inclination for Arms; and having ever had an aspiring mind, and great thoughts of myself, I therefore easily fell into the humour of the Grandees of our Nation, who think all Employs in War are beneath them; and that 'tis mean to serve in the Army. To make short, I arrived at Madrid, where I sold my Horse, and hired a neat Chamber, and began to view the Town. Coming home one Evening, when 'twas almost dark, passing along a narrow Street a Coach met me, which stopped, wherein I saw a Lady well dressed, whom I Saluted, as I thought I was obliged; because I could not pass by without thrusting my Nose into the Coach.  
I had not taken two strides, when a lackey came and pulled me by the Cloak, telling me the Lady in the Coach desired to speak with me. You will be surprised, said she to me, when I came near her, at the liberty I take: I know you are a Stranger, and I red in your Countenance, you are not a man to refuse a creditable Employ should one offer it you. I thanked her for her freedom, telling her, This was what I sought for at Madrid: That I was a Younger Brother, who had no great Fortune in the World, and that— You have said enough, Sir, said she. I have long wished to meet with such a Person as you. Madam the Countess de Los Garfios, to whom I belong, gives me no rest, till I find her a Squire. She is a Lady of the First Quality. You'll have all things at your desire, a good Salary, a Footman to attend you, a Coach at your service, and the prospect of farther Advancements.  
I would have thanked her; but she would not hear me; you shall thank me, said she, when you have experienced the truth of what I tell you. Come up into the Coach, and we will talk further. What part of the Town do you lodge in? I  told her, and she made Answer, Very well, 'tis thereabouts my occasions call me; I will therefore set you down there. I blessed a Thousand times, in my mind, this fortunate Adventure, which happened when I least expected it. She asked me an hundred questions in the Coach, and you may guess whether I could conceal any thing from my Benefactress.  
We arrived in the Street where my quarters were, and she would needs go up into my Chamber, to see how I was lodged; and as I was about seeking for a Candle, she would not suffer me. We can see clear enough, said she, smiling; and I should be unwilling every body should know the freedom I use with you. Being in my Chamber, she would have the Door stand open; and bidding her lackey keep there, least any body should enter she lead me for a last Favour to my Beds side, and made me sit down b● here, where we discoursed to the full, how I should be with Madam the Countess de Los Garfios.  
She gave me Instructions how I was to behave myself, and made me an exact Description of each of the domestics Humours; and having promised to sand the same Coach for me the next Morning, to present me; and after reiterated protestations of an everlasting Friendship, we partend.  
I waited on her to the Coach, with that joy which you may easily imagine. But no sooner had I gotten up into my Chamber, with a light; but I found that whilst this kind Lady had amused me with these pleasing expectations, her lackey had ransacked all my Chamber, and left nothing behind him, but what could not go into the Coach. He was so careful as not to forget my Portmanteau, where I had put my Linen, and Woollen-Clothes, and almost all my Money. I ran down into the Street like a Mad-man, following the tracts of the Coach till I came into some across Streets, where I soon lost my Scent, Three or Four Coaches having past that way, so that I was forced to return home cursing my ill Destiny, the Countess de Los Garfios, and my own Folly.  
This was, as you see, Friend Lazarillo, an ill beginning of making ones Fortune, continues the Squire. I remained only with Ten Pieces in my Pocket, and half of this sum must be laid out in repairing the disorder, the roguish lackey had made in my Wardrobe. I must live besides, which I could not do long without some supply.  
Thus did my noble Master finish the Relation of his Adventures, and I comforted him in the best manner I could; telling him, Seeing we were both forced to go seek in the Indies, what Fortune had denied us at home, we ought to thank Heaven for bringing us thus happily together again: That we might be a mutual help to one another, it being a great consolation to have a Friend, in whom one may confided, in so long a Voyage, as we were undertaking.  
From that time we lived like Friends and Comrades. We agreed he should retain his Name of Don Alonzo Fanegada, and I was to take on me that of my Father, and call myself Don Lazaro Gonsales. That I should term myself a Gentleman as well as he; for 'tis very easy to ennoble ones self in a Country where one is not known. We traveled together making small Journeys in our way to Cales, where we happily arrived, some weeks before the departure of the Fleet. We easily agreed for our Transportation with the Captain of a Vessel; and Fifteen days after our arrival, the Fleet put to Sea with a favourable Wind.   

CHAP. IV. Lazarillo makes shipwreck at his return from the Indies. Certain Fishermen carry him throughout all Spain as a Monstrous Fish. How they were discovered and punished.  
A Fresh gale filled all our Sails, and we were on the point of discovering the Spanish Coasts. I had gotten on the Fore-deck to be the first discoverer of that happy Land, which was then the only aim of my Desires; and I with unspeakable delight ruminated in my mind on the pleasure I should have in embracing my Wife and Children, after so long a time as Three Years of Dangers and Fatigues; and that I might also impart to them some share of the little Fortune I brought from the place whence I came. I had to the value of Four or Five hundred Crowns in Money and Goods, with which I thought to set up Shop, and with my Industry get an honest Subsistence for my Family, which I intended to settle at Cales, as being the most proper place I imagined for business. But alas! Fortune was not weary of persecuting me.  
There immediately arose an horrible Tempest, which divided our Fleet. The Pilot and the rest of the Seamen having yielded our Vessel to the humour of the Winds. We lay Two days between Death and Life, and the second Night we fell on a Rock. Although I could not swim, yet I stripped myself, that I might have less entanglements, if I could get hold of some Plank, which by good hap I light of, and was carried along the Shore, where I was taken up by Fishermen half dead, amongst the Moss and Sedges which grow in the Water.  
The Shore, whereto the Waves had driven me, was distant from the Rock, against which we ran; the Plank whereon I held being all that came so far of the whole Wrack of our Vessel. The Fishermen took me at first for some Sea Monster, my Skin being so wrinkled, my Face so disfigured, and my whole Body so disguised by the Weeds, which were wrapped about it. Having well considered me, they perceived their Error; but the Figure I then made, put a Project into their Heads, which they soon after executed.  
They made me disgorge the Water I drank, which done I began to breath. They then carried me into their but, where some hours after I reassumed my Spirits, and perceived myself naked, lying on a wretched Mat, and scarce knowable to myself.  
In the mean time the Fishermen had held a Council among themselves; and just as I was about to give Thanks to Heaven, for having drawn me out of the Danger, which I remembered to have been in; and was musing on my bad Fortune, in having lost in an instant, what I had been gaining for Three Years together, with such Labour and Care; one of the Fishermen, who was the greatest Rogue amongst them, came to me, and thus saluted me: How now, Mr. Triton, do you know that you are welcome? What news from the rest of your Brethren, the Sea Monsters? Who, I a Monster, replied I? Do you not see I am a Man as you are? A Man, answered the Fisherman, thou art a Triton, or Sea Monster, I am sure of it.  
Whereupon the rest came up, and seconded what he said, swearing 'twas true. I swore again as fast as they, That I was a Man, and Son to a Citizen of the best Rank in Madrid; and further, That I was Married, and had a Wife and Children, 'Pray' leave of arguing, said the first Rogue, you are, and shall be a Triton, and the most hideous Monster as ever was seen; and therefore hold thy Peace, and be quiet unless you're minded to be pick'ed up for Cod-fish. I was about to reply, but the Fisherman began to take up his Knife, as it were to execute in earnest what he had threatened; whereupon, seeing no remedy, I resolved to be what they would have me, Triton, Monster or Red-Herring, if they pleased.  
Yet I could not divine all this while whereunto this tended; but I was soon satisfied, when I saw my Masters come to me with a Tub full of Water. They swaddled me up in Moss and other Herbs, tying me down with a Cord, having nothing but my Head at liberty, so that a stranger Figure could not appear. They covered my Head with mossy Leaves, and made me a long Beard with Horse hair; and thus dressed up, they laid me on my Belly in the Tub, which was flat and of an Oval form, making appear at the end of my Legs a Triton's Tail which they had adjusted. They had also fastened a Rope on my Feet, one end of which came out through a leaden pipe, so that if I offered to speak or grumble never so little, they needed only pull the Rope, and I was forced to plunge like a Duck.  
Having put all their machines in order, They gave out, they had taken a Triton; and so many People round about came that day to see me, that though the Fishermen took but Pence a piece, this amounted to a considerable sum. I would have spoken when my Spectators began to throng about me, but he that was speaker to the Show, and sate on the side of the Tub, drawing the Cord, every time I attempted to open my Mouth, ducked my Head in the Water, so that I was forced to be silent, for fear of drowning.  
My Masters ravished to see their Project take so well, and encouraged by the Gain they found; carried me through all the Towns and Villages of Spain, in a Cart. One of these Fishermen was the Carter, and the other sate in it to take care to pull the Rope, if I offered to speak, when we met any body. They only permitted me to use my Tongue, when we were alone.  
I asked them one Day, what the Devil they meant in thus Tyrannizing over me. You know in your own Conscience, said I to them, that I am a Man, endowed with sense as well as yourselves; if you keep me long in this stinking Water I shall certainly perish. Hold thy Tongue, said he that was my guard, unless thou hast something better to say than this, we know best what's fitting for thee. Being a Fish, as thou art, thou canst not live an Hour out of the Water without extreme peril of Death; thou oughtest therefore to be thankful for having fallen into such Hands as ours, who know what belongs to Sea Monsters. I had nothing to reply; and so much the less, because I felt already, he began to twitch the Cord, to convince me of the necessity of my silence; so that I was forced to be contented, to be a Fish, till such time as Heaven should free me from the hands of these Villains.  
They had the impudence to carry me to Madrid, but they remained not there long. The first who came to see me were Scholars. Having examined me a little more curiously than the Country people, there was one who said, In good Faith, he is as much a Triton, as I am one; were I an Officer of Justice, I should sand both the Fishermen and Fish too to the Galleys, having first made 'em fetch a walk about the Town, in the manner as they deserve. Alas, said I to myself, I would willingly be quit for a Thousand Lashes, and Ten Years service in the Galleys; for I should suffer less than I do now. In the mean time this Discourse alarmed my Conductors; they apprehended lest some others should reason as clearly as the Scholars had done; wherefore they left the Town the same Day, to carry me into the Villages, where the People would be more easily imposed on.  
They at length carried me to Toledo. They hired a Groundroom in the very House, wherein I had heretofore lived. All the Town came hither, and I was( you may well think) in a strange taking, to see my Wife, with little Teresa, amongst the rest who was then about Five or Six Years Old, and who appeared to me pretty, like an Angel. This fight made such impressions on my Heart, that I fell into a Swoon with my Head into the Water; the Fishermen perceived it, and having cleared the Room of Folks, they emptied the Tub, and took all possible care for my preservation, they being so greatly interested in it. But all seemed in vain, and they thought me dead.  
The fear they had, least my Death should discover their Roguery, made them resolve to throw me by Night into the River, and so to march off. They laid me then athwart one of the Mules, which served to draw their Cart. The jogging of the Mule made me disgorge the Water I had swallowed, and come to my Senses; I understood they talked about throwing me into the River; seeing the danger I was in, I began to call out for help with all my force, and to cry murder. The Watch, by good hap, was passing through the next Street. They surrounded us in an instant, and carried us all to Prison.  
We were questioned the next Morning, and I was known for what I was. The Fishermen were punished, and the Money they had gotten confiscated, one third to the King, the other to the Hospital, and the rest to me. I had for my share above Fifty Crowns: I might have had more, but the Officers took as much for their share. My Wife caused me to be carried into a little House she had hired, where she lived with my Daughter working for her living. My Son died a while after my departure from Toledo. I was a great while before I could recover myself, from what I had suffered by these roguish Fishermen.   

CHAP. V. How Lazarillo became an Hermit, and wrote these Memoirs.  
SCarce was I well when it pleased Heaven to deprive me of the Company of my Daughter, and dear Wife, who soon followed one another; and truly I myself had like to have followed them, with Grief. I made serious reflections on the misery of human Life, and resolved to bid adieu to the World.  
I caused a little Chapel to be built on a Hill, about a League off from Toledo, with a little Lodge; and in this laid out all the Money I had, both by selling my Clothes, and the household Stuff which my Wife had left me.  
Here do I spend my days with that delicious quiet which I never before tasted; and I have drawn up these Memoirs, to the end, that after my Death, they may be joined to what I wrote heretofore to my Friend Pedro de Corredas, Citizen of Madrid; which I know are abroad in the World.   

To satisfy, as much as lies in my power, the Readers curiosity, he must know that Lazarillo died in his Hermitage, a while after he had written these Memoirs; that he was interred in his little Chapel, and, That his Tomb is still to be seen with this Epitaph:  
Here lies  
Brother Lazarillo Gonsales,  
surnamed de Tormes,  
Who having acted on the theatre of this World, The blind Man's Boy, Squire's Gentleman, and served with great ingenuity several other Masters, and run through several other Employments, died an Hermit the 12th. of Sept. 1540. in the 39th. Year of his Age.  
R. I. P.   
FINIS.   

THE LIFE AND DEATH OF Young LAZARILLO, SON and HEIR TO Old Lazarillo de Tormes. Never before in English.  
LONDON, Printed by J. leak 1688.   

THE LIFE AND DEATH OF Young LAZARILLO.  
HAVING thus given you a perfect Relation of the Life and Death of the Father and the Mother, it would be an Injustice to their Memory, to say nothing of that same Sprigg of Iniquity which they left behind. For, that they had a Son between them( I mean, Lazarillo, and his beloved Spouse or doxy, no matter whether) all the Gusmanick, Busconick, Scarronick Writers agree; more especially, The Chief Remembrancer to the Knights of the Order of Industry, in his Lives of the Sons and Daughters of Joy, expressly affirms it. Moreover, he gives several Reasons to assure us, that he was the Father's and Mother's own Child; and, that for once, his Mother did conceive without the help of Interlopers. For he says, that the Child did so partake of the natural Disposition and Genius of his Father and Mother, that he might well be called a Chipp of the Old Block. The Infant was so far from being only naturally inclined to Thievery after he was born, that he began to study it in his Mother's Womb, and so stolen himself into the World. 'Tis true, he did not couzen the World as Garagantua did; that is to say, he did not slip through his Mother's Cotyledons, into the Hollow Vein, and by that means crossing the Diaphragma, ascend as far as the Shoulders, where that Vein parts in two; and so turning to the left Hand, creep out at his Mother's left Ear. No; but he came so slily into the World, that he was half out before his Mother perceived him; who was delivered of a sudden, to her great satisfaction, without the help of Midwife or Nurse, or any other Woman to assist her. And indeed, he would have been a True Son of Mercury, had not an untimely Accident cut him off in the Bloom of his Years, at which you will either Laugh or Weep, when we shall come to relate it.  
He was not so forward as Hercules, to Kill Snakes in his Cradle. Good reason for that; for, Jupiter was Eight and forty Hours a getting him; and the Poet says, his Deityship was forced to drudge hard too; and therefore we shall not tell you, what our Youngster did, before he had bread the full number of his Teeth. But no sooner could he speak, but his Father beholding the vigour and sprightliness of his Son, thought there should be nothing wanting on his part; and therefore knowing the Importance of early Instructions, he began to tutor him between his Knees, telling him, That the Profession of a Thief was one of the Liberal Sciences, and did not at all relish of mechanic, though indeed there were somewhat in that, required the nimbleness and slight of Hand; that they who went by the Names oft honestest Men, made it now adays the greatest part of their Calling; so that whoever did not know how to steal, knew not how to live in the World. And therefore( quoth his Father proceeding) why do the Serjeants and bailiffs so prosecute us? Only because one Trade envies another, Why do they Whipp, why Banish and Hang us up, but because they will not suffer any Thieves but themselves to live among them? However, good Instructions and Craft do many times deliver us out of their Clutches. In my Youth( quoth the Old Man) I usually haunted the Churches and other Places of public Meeting, and then sometimes I happened to be snapp'd; yet still I got off by my Wits, which were always good at a dead lift. And therefore, my Son( quoth he) keep Wit in thy Brains, and that will keep Money in thy Pocket.  
You cannot think how deep these Instructions sank into the little Noddle of Young Lazarillo, and throve like Jerusalem Artichoaks in a fat Garden; so that he could no sooner make a Casting top Spin, but he began to show his Gifts. For, at Eight Years of Age, he was able to have cheated at Cards or Dice, all the Footmen that belong to the House of Commons; and was fit to have been Captain of the Black Guard, that rogue about the Guards near Whitehall. More particularly, he was the Inventor of that stratagemical Way of Cheating, or rather, robbing the Custard Women in the open street at noon Day; Which was thus performed; So soon as he heard the Voice of the Custard-woman setting up her Throat, and bawlling out, Custards, large Custards, Groats a piece, up he comes with her, and bids her show him a couple of Custards; both these he takes, and while he is poising them upon the Palm of his Hands to try which is the best, presently comes another Boy of the Confederacy, well instructed before-hand, and seeing him weighing the Custards so busily, What are you doing here? quoth he, Doing! cries the other, Why I am going to buy one of these Custards; which shall I take?— Oh ye Rogue, quoth the Boy, buying Custards, and your Grandfather dead! My Grandfather dead! crys t'other; and, as it were in a strange Amazement, clapping both the Custards together, runs away with them both as hard as he can drive; while the poor Woman surprised, has neither time to follow, nor time to cry out, till the Young Rogues are got with their Plunder quiter out of sight.  
At the same time there was a Costermonger, that took up his stand in an Evening after Candlelight, before the entrance into a Church, at a good distance from the Houses on each side; only for his own use the Costermonger had a Candle in a paper lantern stuck at one side of his Basket. This Young Lazarillo observing, when he had a mind to fill his own and his Companions Bellies with Fruit, ordered his Gang to follow him. And being furnished with three or four good stones, when he came within reach of the Costermonger's Paper-Lanthorn, at it he lets drive with his unlucky Hand, but if he mist the first hit, at the second he was sure to fetch down the Candle and extinguish the Light; and then it was that the Costermonger being in the dark, that Lazarillo and his followers had their Opportunity to fill their Pockets, and vanish before the Costermonger could light his Candle, to see who had hurt him, or what Losses had befallen him.  
A Barber observing this Towardliness in Young Lazarillo; says he to himself, This Boy may do me great service. Now this Barber, as he was a great Friend and Neighbour of Old Lazarillo's, so was he a very arrant fellow. Therefore, to fit Young Lazarillo for his purpose, he sent him to the Pickpocket School, where the Young Rogue profited so well in a short time, that he was able to out-do many of his Seniors in that Trade; so that had there been degrees in the Art of Pocket-picking, as there are in the Sciences of Law and physic, he might have commenced Master of Arts in half a Years time. Nor did the Barber repent him of his Charity, in putting Young Lazarillo out. For, the Barber having got a Trick, when he trimmed his Customers, to fill their Eyes full of camphor suds, against which their only Remedy was to keep their Eyes close shut, Young Lazarillo was still at hand to open their Pockets, and take much out of more, and 〈◇〉 out of little, to the great Benefit of the Barber, who by that means doubly, sometimes trebly paid for his Trimming.  
At about ten Years of Age, Young Lazarillo was put to an ordinary Grammar School in the Country, one of those that teach Latin indeed, but no higher than Ovid's Metamorphosis, or Virgil's Eneads. While he remained there, his usual practise was, to secure all the Books that came in his Way; and, that his little Thefts might pass undiscovered, before he exposed his Thieveries to sale, he would so strangely alter their Complexions, that they could never be known. If they were new, he would rub their Covers in the Ashes; if the Leaves were read, he would alter their Colour into blew or green, or whatever other Colour he could get, for which he had his Utensils and Materials always by him; or, if old, he would renew their old Faces with fresh Painting. As for his Money, he had various ways to spend it, in treating and caressing those Boys that were able to make his Exercises, which rendered him very acceptable to his Master. However, he would often play the Truant, and those Truantings were always attended with some notorious piece of Roguery, as Robbing of Orchards, Milking the Cows in his Hat, Robbing of Hen-Roosts, and diminishing the number of the Farmers goose. To which purpose, he had a short stick with a string tied to the end of it, and a Bullet at the end of that, which would fetch in his Game by the Neck; about which, the Weight of the Bullet twisted the String so many times, that it was impossible for the goose to disengage themselves from Destruction. Now, whatever he got, he carried to a House, which encouraged him in his Roguery, gave him two Pence for what was worth a Shilling, and feasted him to boot.  
In his rovings, while a more griftly brat, he was very severe; so that if a stronger Boy than himself had injured him, he would conceal his Resentment, and exercise his Revenge upon him privately; and one Trick he had among the rest for the same purpose, which was, to stick a Pin in the Seat where the Boy was to sit.  
Another time, one of the Maids having crossed him; to be revenged of her, knowing her to be a drowsy Wench, as she slept by the fire, Young Lazarillo took his Opportunity, and having melted a little glue, gently touched the closure of both her Eye-lids with a Pencil, and when he thought it could, he suddenly waked the Wench, pretending that her Mistress called her, having first set all the Chairs and Stools about the kitchen in her Way. Presently up starts the Wench, and rubbing her Eyes, away she hurries, but, being blindfold, in her hast, here she tumbles over the Chairs, there over the Stools; up went her Heels, and up flew her Petty-Coats before and behind, to the great satisfaction of Young Lazarillo, who was extremely delighted with this piece of Roguery. On the other side, the Wench would hardly be persuaded, but that it was a judgement upon her for some Sin she had privately committed; and had certainly run Mad, had she not been speedily restored to her Sight by washing off the glue, which was not so easily done neither.  
This stuck in the Maids Stomach, so that one day being desirous to taste of some Plum-Broth that was upon the Fire, Young Lazarillo desired the Maid to give him a Taste; whereupon the Maid taking up a Ladle-full, and holding the Ladle in her own Hand, she bid him sup: At what time Young Lazarillo opening his Mouth somewhat wider than he needed, the unlucky Baggage poured the scalding Porridge down his Throat; so that poor Lazarillo thought he had swallowed the Gunpowder Plot. This put Lazarillo upon another Design: For, he observing that the Maid in a short time after carried the Plum-Porridge Pot into the Yard, and set it just under the defending of the Jack-weight; Young Lazarillo, so soon as the Weight was down, took it off, and fastening the Porridge-Pot to the Pully, went into the kitchen, and wound up the Kettle, Pottage and all, to the top of the Penthouse, and then stopped the Jack, the Meat being taken from the Fire. By and by the Porridge was called for, but neither Porridge nor Pot were to be found, which put the whole House into an Uproar. And though the Maid swore she saw it but just before, and really thought that none but the Devil could have removed it, yet the Miracle could not be discovered till the next Roasting; at what time the Porridge Pot descended like an Angel in a Play-House, fastened to the Pully of the Jack-line.  
Now, though the School-Master was an Old Man, yet he would not give over teaching for all that; so that when he was indisposed, he would sand for his Scholars into his Chamber, and teach them as he lay a-bed. One time among the rest, a Gentleman had sent the Master his Son's quarterage, for Diet and Teaching, &c. all in Gold. Which the Master receiving, called for a small Cabinet that stood in the Room, which Young Lazarillo more officious than the rest, presently ran and fetched him; into which, when the Master had locked up his choice Commodity, he ordered Lazarillo to set it where he found it. Presently the Devil became his tutor, and now nothing would serve his Turn but that he must have that Gold. After many and various Stratagems and Contrivances, he bethought himself at length of taking the Impression of the Key in Wax, which with much difficulty he obtained, and carried to a Smith Four Miles off. But the Smith suspecting him, and questioning him what he intended to do with the Key, poor Lazarillo was forced to betake himself to his Heels, and run for it, not having any Excuse or specious Pretence wherewith to couzen Old Vulcan, too well acquainted with such kind of Devices. This Stratagem failing, he tried a Pick-lock of his own Invention; but that not taking Effect neither, he resolved at length to take away Cabinet and all. To which purpose he watched his Opportunity, which he obtained in a short time. For, the Master had a Custom to keep within all the Day, and take his Recreations abroad in the Night. Thereupon Young Lazarillo watching his time, conveyed himself into his Master's Chamber, and hide himself under the Bed; and when he found the cost clear, getting the Cabinet into his Custody, stolen out of the House and marched all Night. In the Morning he found himself near a small Town about Sixteen Miles off from the School, where believing himself secure, he thought it requisite to rest his tender weary Limbs, and solace himself with the sight of his Purchase. To which purpose he entered the first Inn he came to, and there called for some Moscatella Wine, which he had heard much talk of, but never had tasted in his Life. At which the People of the House admiring that such a young Urchin as he, should call for such a sort of dainty liquour, viewed him very circumspectly, but more especially the Cabinet under his Arm, which bread in them no small Jealousies of the Bearer; so that they acquainted their Master with it; who being a kind of Corrigidor or Constable, without craving Pardon for intruding, desired to be admitted into Young Lazarillo's Society. Upon his admission, he began to Catechize Young Lazarillo, asking him, Whence he came, Whither he was going, and, What he had in his Casket? But, before he could study an answer to the Questions which were put to him, he was overtaken by those that closely pursued him; so that poor Young Lazarillo was laid hold on, and his Treasure taken from him.  
Thus, ready to die, he was carried back to the place from whence he came; where, by the Master, he was confined close Prisoner within a Chamber, though not altogether without Company; for, he was daily visited by the Master, who with a Cat-of-Nine-Tails flayed his Buttocks twice a-Day; who, after he had skinned his Posteriors, would often wash them with Water and Salt. Within a Week, his Mother being sent for, arrived; who, hearing of the Rogueries of her hopeful Son, grew so impatient, that she would needs take him to Task her self; but, when she had untruss'd him, and saw in what a woeful Plight he was( his Shirt being stiffen'd like a piece of Buckram with Matter and Blood, and his tender Buttocks all ploughed and Harrow'd with the Cat-with-Nine-Tails) she began to scold at the Master; who, to pacify her,  told her, that great Offences required severe Punishments, and used so many Arguments, that his Mother at length was in part pacified; but, what to do with the Young Stripling she knew not; and therefore she consulted with the Master, who  told her, He durst not keep the young Vermin any longer; for that the Country People brought in daily most grievous Complaints against him; and, to aggravate his Mother the more, he gave her a Catalogue of his Crimes; As, how that once going to correct him for some unlucky Prank or other, having given himself a Laxative on purpose, he Squirted full in his Face upon the first Lash; That, when he was upon the Boys Backs ready to be whipped, he bit Holes in their Ears; That another time, having surreverenc'd in a Paper, and running to the Window with it that looked into the Yard, as his Old Mistress was gaping up to see who opened the Casement, he let the Contents drop into her Mouth; That, in the Summertime he watched the Lusty Young Girls, that were wont to Bath themselves in a Brook not far from the School; and hiding himself under a Bush till they were striped, he would then go and take away their Cloths, and make them dance after him stark naked, till he had satisfied his waggish Humour; That he his Master having some choice apricots in his Garden, which were kept as chary as the forbidden Fruit for his peculiar Tooth, and looking out at his Window while Young Lazarillo was filling his Pockets, though not able to discern who it was, and therefore sending for all the Boys together to make a privy search, her Son understanding the Business, cleverly conveyed the Fruit into the next boys Pocket; by which means, the poor Innocent Boy was severely lashed, for the Crime which he himself had committed.  
Lazarillo hearing all this, and the serious Consultation of his Mother, how to dispose of him for the future( wherein she proposed several Methods, no way pleasing to Young Lazarillo) thereupon he resolved to give her the slip, and try his own Fortune in the World.  
With this Resolution away he trips, determining to steer his Course as Fortune should guide him. The first Dinner he made, was upon the Fruits of the Field, and the Bushes, and when Night approached, he was forced to betake himself to a Hay-Cock; but, considering with himself that he had no School-Exercise to make, nor was in any danger of oversleeping himself the next Morning, he endured his Hardship with the more Patience.  
The next Day he rambled along( all tattered and torn with the Bushes and Briars, and with scrambling over the Hedges to get at the Green Pease as he went along) and, by that time 'twas Night, he got to an Inn that stood alone upon the Road, where he begged Victuals and desired to lye in the Barn. The Master and Mistress of the House called him in, and seeing him a comely young Boy, asked him, Whence he came, and, Who were his Friends, and, Whither he was going? to all which the young arch Rogue answered, That he was a poor Fatherless and Motherless Child; That he had been put to School while they lived, and could both red and writ; but, that his Parents) to whom he gave wrong Names) being lately dead, he was put to his Shifts, and would be willing to serve any Body, and do any thing for a living. The modest Look of the Boy, and the neatness of his Delivery, bread Compassion in the Master and Mistress of the House, so that they resolved to entertain him; especially the Master of the House, who, because he could neither writ nor red himself, was glad of such an Assistant: For, to say Truth, Young Lazarillo was a very pretty Schollard of his Age.  
In short, this Inn became his Habitation, where he was employed to go of Errands, and upon several other Occasions. But, he had not been long there, before such a Contrivance came into this Young boys Noddle, that none but the Devil could have invented.  
In this Inn there was a Chamber called the best Chamber, wherein were lodged none but Persons of Quality that travelled that way. Into this Chamber was this Varlet of a Crack-rope wont to convey himself in the winter Nights, when any Guests of Quality were to be lodged there, and to keep himself close concealed till they were fast asleep. Or, if he found them to be wakeful, betook himself to his Diabolical Stratagems, of sighing and groaning like a troubled Ghost; and sometimes by the glimmering of the Coals in the Chimney, would open the Curtains, and show himself in a white shrowded at the Beds side, till the poor affrighted Gentleman, in a dreadful Consternation, was forced to wrap himself in a could Sweat over Head and Ears; and then was his time to pick their Pockets. Nor did the Gentlemen dare to complain of their Losses, but were glad they were got out of the House; so that at length the Report was spread about the Country, that the Chamber was haunted. This practise this young Devil of a Lazarillo continued for almost two whole Winters; till at last, a Gentleman that had been farther up in the Country, and being belated in his return home( which was not above Ten Miles from the enchanted Castle) coming to the Inn, desired a Lodging. The Mistress of the House made him answer, That all the Rooms in the House were taken up, but only one Chamber that was haunted. Let it be haunted with a Legion( quoth the Gentleman, who was a Person of Resolution) if there be but a Mat, let me lye there, rather than in the Street. Only he desired a good Fire, two Great Candles, and a Book or two, to waste that time of the Night, wherein Goblings and Ghosts are most active. To be short, the Gentleman took Possession of the haunted Chamber, had a good Supper and drank freely. All the forepart of the Night he sat and red; but seeing no Devil appear, between two and three a-Clock in the Morning he betook himself to his Rest. But no sooner had he composed himself to sleep, than he felt something creeping softly up at the Bed's Feet, and by and by somewhat weighty upon his Shins. At which gathering up his Legs, he gave a spring with both his Legs, which gave the young Devil such a squelch, that he fell plump upon the Floor. Ay, thought he, the Devil's Airy Body can never make such a Noise. And with that, starting out of his Bed, he ran to the Chamber Door, and holding it fast locked in his Hand, knocked and called as loud as he could to raise the House. In a short time, the Master and Mistress came, who, with two or three Servants and Lights, being let in, they fell to searching the Chamber, not leaving the least Hole or Cranny which they did not accurately peep into, yet could find nothing, which put the Gentleman into some kind of Amaze. But at last, remembering they had not looked under the Table that stood in the middle of the Room, covered with a large Carpet that trailed on every side upon the Ground, they turned up the Carpet, and there they found the cunning Devil, Young Lazarillo; who being brought forth and examined by the Gentleman, who was himself an Alguezite, or Justice of the Peace; upon his Examination, confessed the whole series of his Roguery, and was thereupon sent to the next Grand Gaol, there to be punished upon the sitting of the next Hermandad.  
The News of this Young Devil being thus spread all over the Country, Lazarillo's Mother knew now where to find her lost Son. And, such was her motherly Affection, that with much ado, and the expense of some Money, after the Hangman had visited his Shoulders with the public Lash, she got him Home again.  
Young Lazarillo was by this time arrived at some years of Discretion; and, his Mother believing that his last Afflictions might have wrought in him some kind of Reformation, by the Advice of Friends sent him to another School of a higher Order, where, to say Truth, he strangely improved, to the great Content of his Parents and his Master.  
But now Lament and Weep with me; for here comes the dismal Catastrophe, that nipp'd this Blossom in the Bud; and, for ought we know, deprived us of one of the pleasantest Lives that ever was Writ.  
For, it happened, that the time for choosing of Kings being near, and the Master intending to give some Recreation to his Scholars, resolved to make a Royalty. When the Time came, the Cake was divided; and, the Kingdom of the Bean, fell to Young Lazarillo's share. With which he presently acquainted his Mother, that she might provide him Clothes and necessary Ornaments. The Day of Triumph being come, he was mounted upon a Rozinant, like that of D. Quixot's, a perfect Enchanted Horse, the leanest that ever was seen; for, his Chine was at least a Mile long; and, he was withal so humble, that he went all the way making of congees. He had but one Eye, a Neck like a Camel, and a Tail like an Ape, that is to say, no Tail at all. Young Lazarillo being mounted upon this sprightly Barb, and attended by all the rest of his School-fellows, dressed up in all the Finery their Mothers could procure for them, they all made their Procession through the Market-Place; but, coming near the Herb-woman's Stalls, Lazarillo's Hunger starved Horse fell upon a Basket of Coleworts, and devoured them in a Trice, as being not a little overjoyed at so pleasant a Bait. Upon which, the Herb-woman, whose Coleworts they were, being a sort of unruly Jade, and as Impudent as an oyster Wench, began to set up her Throat; at which, the whole Tribe came flocking about her, with a great number of Rakehells and Porters, who snatching up their great handfuls of turnips and Onions, fell to pelting of the poor King, who knew not what shift to make; and, at the same time, one of these Cuckoldly Rogues gave his Horse so full a Charge upon the Nose, that being none of the strongest, he fell backward with the King's Worship, not upon dry Land, but( with Reverence be it spoken) into a bottonles Jakes, where, before timely Assistance could come to their Relief, the Horse and the Rider were stifled; where we must be forced to leave them, without saying any thing of their Funerals; being instructed by the Proverb, which tells us, The more you stir, the more 'twill stink. Besides, that it is all that we can find of the Acts and Deeds of Young Lazarillo, whose Unfortunate End was bemoaned by all that knew him.  
FINIS.