A Plea●ant ●IALOGUE BETWEEN A Protestant School-Boy, And a Popish PRIEST, Concerning the Present Times, ●… s they met at Hide-Park Corner, last friday.  
●… o Particularly, touching Popish Saints, Transubstantiation, ●… fallibility▪ Bulls, Limbus Patrum, Miracles of the Meal-Tub, ●… onmouth's business, the Race at Salisbury, &c.  
●… lso, something relating to the late unhappy Fire at Whitehall.  
 woodcut of monk greeting child well met Child direct the to heaven. i thank you good Sir   

〈…〉 Dialogue betwixt a Boy and a Papist.  ●… y. 
HA boys Tom, go carry home my Tops, my Giggs, my Marbles and ●… y Nicks, yonder comes the Man I  told you ●… f, that taught me to keep so many holidays: ●… y, go, I say, for I'll play no longer, but ●… and at the Corner, and salatue him, it may ●… e he may teach me a trick more pleasant than 〈…〉 breaking up at Easter, whitsuntide, or ●… hristmas.  Tom. 
Well then Jack, adieu till Night, I'll ●… e no Eves-dropper to particular your Argu●… ents. farewell Tom. Now for a touch of ●… y Grandmother at Rome-ave Domine, hail, ●… r.  Papist. 
O my Child, well met, I have been ●… oking for thee to Instruct thee in some farther ●… rinciples: How hast thou improved thyself in ●… hat I taught thee last?  ●… y. 
Well, Sir, as to observing of the Ho●… y-●ays, for I have played the Truant at least Twenty times, as our Scholars tell me my Ma●… er says, since I conversed with you.  Papist. 
O heretic, would not he then have ●… he observe those days the Pope has set a-part to be Religiously kept, as sanctified Holy-da●…  Boy. 
No, but vows he'll whip me soun●… when ever I come to School again; and ind●… I believe he'll be as good as his word, for 〈…〉 is a cruel man.  Pap. 
Well, thou shalt be no more under s●…jection to a heretic, but be instructed by Pedagogue of ours; these damned Heretick●… know would ruin thee, but I'll prevent th●… and take care for thy future Education.  Boy. 
O law Sir, what's that Pedagog●… ha! that's a fine Name indeed, pray w●… manner of thing is it:  Pap. 
Why one that shall teach thee to rec●… all the Articles of thy Belief, and only rest 〈…〉 Salvation on the Pope's Infallibility; but co●… up little Knave, what holidays did you so stri●…ly observe, name them?  Boy. 
Why, all those catholic Saints da●… that have been Hanged for Treason, ever si●… Queen Besses days, as they call her.  Pap. 
O Villain, for Treason: no, but t●… die Martyrs for the holy Church, under 〈…〉 Heretical Persecutions.  Boy. 
Well then, that died Martyrs, as Gui●… Faux, Catesby, Bookwood, Piercy, Digby, 〈…〉 the like, with Father Garner, Staely, Colem●… Langhorn, all the Jesuits, and a number mo●… I took them all for Saints, because they ma●… up the more holidays to keep me from 〈…〉 School.  Pap. 
'tis very well you did, and must ever ●… fter hold them to be Saints; or else be plunged ●… unto Eternal Torments.  Boy. 
Well, Sir, but as to the Pope's Infal●… bility, pray has the Pope no Sin? cannot he ●… rr like other Men?  Pap. 
No, 'tis a mortal Sin, and does de●… erve the hottest Flames of Purgatory to once 〈…〉 much as think he can; all that he does is ●… uer than the Scriptures, all is Gospel that he ●… eaks, or be it what it will, he makes it so; ●… ay, he will have it so in spite of all the He●… eticks.  Boy. 
Why, truly Sir, I heard my Father call ●… im Whore of Babylon, and I am sure Whores ●… recounted naughty People here in England.  Pap. 
Ay, thy poor Father was a damned He●… etick, and would have made thee so, but thou ●… ust not believe a word he taught thee, but re●… ounce him as I  told thee, and aclowledge no ●… ther Father but the Pope, you must believe he is ●… nfallible and cannot sin.  Boy. 
Well, Sir, if it must be so.—  Pap. 
Must, yes upon pain of Damnation it ●… ust, to think a thought to the contrary, deserves the Flames.  Boy. 
Yet farther, Sir, I heard our Minister ●… nce say( and Ministers with us are counted ●… oly Men) that he was a Scarlet Beast, with seven Heads and ten Horns, and I am sure that such a Beast must needs be ugly and monstrous too, for I never heard of such a one i●… England, unless it was the Ram that wa●… shown in Bartholomew-Fair, and that too ha●… but one Head, though it had many Horns; pray, Sir, is he like a Ram?  Pap. 
Sirrah, leave off these blasphemous Qu●…ries, or I shall teach you better manners, th●… same way we taught the heretics in blesse●… Queen Mary's days.  Boy. 
Pray, Sir, how was that?  Pap. 
Why with Fire and Faggot, Sirrah●… which Lesson we intend to red them over agai●… ere long, if our business succeeds.  Boy. 
O law, Sir, why did you bake the●… in Ovens and make Pasties of them to fee●… the Pope?  Pap. 
No, Rogue, but chained them to 〈…〉 Stake, and burnt them to ashes: but more 〈…〉 this hereafter.  Boy. 
Why Sir, 'tis said the Roman Cath●…licks do use to bake their God, and eat hi●… up, well then may they devour an hundre●… such poor human Squabs as I.  Pap. 
Thou damned heretic, I'll sacrifi●… thee up to Molech, if thou darest say the li●… again.  Boy. 
O pray, Sir, I'll do any thing, O, fo●… the sake of St. Franeis, Sir, don't eat me.  Pap. 
No Villain, I shan't, and yet because 〈…〉 see how false thy Heretical Parents have taught thee, on purpose thou mightest be damned; I will in pity instruct thee somewhat about the Omnipotence of Transubst●●tiation.  Boy. 
O law, Sir, that is such a hard word, I shall forget it, pray chalk it up on my Hat, for my better remembrance.  Pap. 
No, Sirrah, but on thy back with a Discipline, as we did on Langhorn's , for discovering of the Jesuits Lands, if thou darest be thus unmannerly.  Boy. 
Sir, I have done; now you may inform me what you please.  Pap. 
Well then, Transubstantiation is by the power of the holy Mother Church, and the Omnipotence of our infallible Father the Pope, by turning of a Wafer by Consecration of the Priest into a Corporal body.  Boy. 
Alas! Sir, I hope the Pope is not a Conjurer, for I heard my Father say, they can do no very strange things; I wondered indeed from whence the Gypsies came all this while, and now I perceive they came from Rome; I hope, Sir, all your Priests are not Gypsies, if they be, they will gabble so that I shall not be able to understand one word they say.  Pap. 
Sirrah, will you never leave these thwarting questions, Rascal, I charge thee no more on 'em, O damned heretic the Pope a Conjurer, and our Priests Gypsies, I shall give thee up to be tormented in the hottest hole o●… Purgatory.  Boy. 
O pardon me, Sir, I would have said the Pope a Thunderer, and your Priests, Jesuits 〈…〉  Pap. 
Well turned Rogue, I see thou cans●… equivocate by Mental Reservation, ay, now tho●… sayest right, for the Pope is a Boanerger, a So●… of Thunder, witness his Roaring Bulls agains●… Excommunicated Princes, how soon these Thunderbolts can ruin Kingdoms, by stirring up Religion, and unhinge the State of Empire.  Boy. 
Alas! Sir, how chance his Holines●… sent none of these horned Beasts into Englan●… to do his work, for a mad Bull is a very fearful thing, Oh how they will buck one, if the●… stand but in their way; for I have seen the●… play sad Tricks in Smithfield.  Pap. 
Alas, poor Child! I see thou art ignorant in that Affair, and knowest not what they b●…  Boy. 
O law, Sir, not know what a Bull is 〈…〉 Ha, ha, ha, and avads, my Father kept tw●… among his Cows; why, Sir, they have tw●… short Horns, and a great pair of Stones; O law, not know what a Bull is! sure you tak●… me for a great Fool indeed.  Pap. 
Sirrah, I say you are mistaken, th●… Pope's Bulls are other manner of things, one 〈…〉 them ruined Bohemia, Albigensia, Piedmont and Waldensia, and caused Eight hundre●… thousand heretics to die.  Boy. 
O fie upon his Horns, what a murder●… g Bull was that! 'tis well then that we have 〈…〉 one of 'em in England, such a Bull would ●… eat all London before him, and swallow up ●… aul's at a mouthful, and drink the River of ●… hams dry, so that the watermen would ●… e forced to go a Hay-making, avads, that ●… old be pretty.  Pap. 
Yes Sirrah, there has been one of them ●… ately in England, but that Air is so thick, and ●… he Climate so could, that he could not roar ●… oud nough, nor cast out his Flames around ●… im, as in other Countries, more subject to the ●… ee of Rome.  Boy. 
Alas! if they be fiery Bulls, and cast ●… ut Flames so, that might be one of them( for ●… ught I know) which roared so loud and fu●… iously at Whitehall last Week, for I remem●… er abundance of Flames flew about, tho ●… he Weather was very could at that time; be ides, some People discourse as if some of the Sons of your Church was concerned in that dismal Conflagration.  Pap. 
No, Impudence; 'tis well known how that unhappy Fire began, tho some lewd heretics have maliciously endeavoured to make ●… eople believe strange things, in order to render us odious, but I would have you to know, we scorn all such abominable Actions.  Boy. 
Ay, I believe you do, but 'tis as Dog scorns Mutton, when he runs away wit●… whole Shoulders.  Pap. 
Come, come, thou art a very Wag, I s●… thou understands not what these kind of Bul●… are gendered of, nor whence they do derive the●… Power.  Boy. 
No indeed Sir, I know no other tha●… I have  told you; but pray Sir, make me f●… to understand, I'd gladly know.  Pap. 
Why Sirrah, they are Bulls of Basha●… made to push at Princes, to make them bow b●…fore the See apostolic, or else by Excommun●…cating them, to tear the Crowns from off the●… Heads Depose and murder them by their ow●… Subjects Hands, as France and England, Ge●…many and Spain in former Ages had their M●…narchs served— but no more of this.  Boy. 
But pray Sir, one Question more, for 〈…〉 would fain learn what Bulls these are; w●… not that one of them that the Pope's Lega●… brought over to Excommunicate King Hen●… the 8th?  Pap. 
Yes it was.  Boy. 
Then I know what they are, for 〈…〉 heard my Father red in an old Book, tha●… that Legate was hanged at Tyburn with h●… Bull about his Neck; sure that was a simp●… Bull that could not roar the Gallows dow●… when others did such Feats as you relate.  Pap. 
Villain, 'tis Death for thee to say those ●… ords again.  Boy. 
O— Sir— hold— I have done.  Pap. 
Tis well thou hast, or I should stop ●… y Breath for ever, and purge thee of t●y He●… sie, in the dark Cells of Limbus Patrum.  Boy. 
Alas, Sir, what kind of place is that, 〈…〉 have heard much talk of Bugby's-hole; nay, ●… y Sister  told me I should go thither, is that ●… e Limbus Patrum you mean Sir, fo● I'll war●… nt you thats some ugly place or other, for ●… e very naming on't so scared me, that I could ●… ot eat my Breakfast.  Pap. 
No, no, Sirrah, it is a place exceeding ●… at a thousand times, a place where naughty ●… eople go to purge themselves of Sin in streams ●… f Fire.  Boy. 
O law, Sir, what that's a kind of an ●… gly place indeed; but pray Sir, have they ●… o Victuals there?  Pap. 
No.  Boy. 
Why, good Sir, how can they live ●… hen? I hope they don't do as they say the Bears do in Greenland?  Pap. 
How is that, Sirrah?  Boy. 
Why, sit upon their Tails, and suck ●… heir Paws all Winter, instead of Breakfast, Dinner and Supper.  Pap. 
No Rogue, they don't.  Boy. 
Why, pray Sir, can they live upon nothing, that's a hard case?  Pap. 
Yes, upon nothing but Heat and Smoa●…  Boy. 
Avads, then I believe it is the pla●… from whence our Tobacco comes, for the●… they say, the people eat little or nothing b●… smoke; and besides, the people are curse●… black that come from thence, therefore I b●…lieve it must be a damnable hot Country.  Pap. 
No Rascal, 'tis another kind of pla●… and smoke than that, 'tis a place within 〈…〉 Inch of Hell, just under our Feet, with Ad●…mantine Gates, of which the Pope does a●…ways keep the Keys. 'tis Purgatory, Sirrah.  Boy. 
Alas! Sir, I don't know, but I veri●… believe 'tis the same place as I mean, for I a●…sure I never smelled no Smoke stink worse tha●… Tobacco-smoke in my life, and all people sa●… that it comes from a place under us; nay, a●… further, I have heard people say that ha●… been at the bottom of a deep Well, that th●… have heard the Ducks quake in anoth●… World; and now, Sir, I believe verily th●… were mistaken, and that it was only the P●…soners in Purgatory, calling for Drink to the●… Tobacco.  Pa. 
Ha! Villain, 'tis a Mystery, 'tis a M●…racle beyond thy Capacity, I charge thee 〈…〉 speak no more on't.  Boy. 
Well, I shan't Sir, but now you ta●… of a Miracle, I have heard much discourse o● Miracles; pray Sir, what manner of thing is a Miracle?  Pap. 
A Miracle is some wondrous work, wrought by the Church of Rome; as raising ●… he Dead, healing the Blind and the Lame, causing Images to Speak, &c. These properly ●… elong to her alone, and are performed by the Clergy.  Boy. 
But Sir, they say the Plot in Monmouth's days, was discovered by a Miracle, did ●… our Church discover that I pray now?  Pap. 
No, no, thou art damned if thou be ievest that ever there was any Plot, only an ●… nvention of the Devil and the Presbyterians, ●… o raise a Persecution against the Saints, and ●… ou must believe so on pain of Purgatory.  Boy. 
But Sir, as to the Discovery,( I heard ●… olks say,) the Meal-Tub made, had your Church no hand in that, if I might be so bold?  Pap. 
Yes, I do believe that was a Miracle ●… wrought by the Church apostolic, by way ●… f Transubstantiation, turning the Meal into ●… ritten Papers, and had it not been so mole●… ted as it was, all the Meal had taken the same ●… orm, and filled the Land with flying News of ●… he Pope.  Boy. 
Alas Sir, if your Church could do such Tricks, she may turn all your Meal to Paper, ●… nd then what should we do for Pancakes on ●… hrove-Tuesday.  Pap. 
No, no, Sirrah, all our Miracles r●…ther tend to the good of Mankind than a●… ways to prejudice them, especially that pa●… which belongs to Mother Church.  Boy. 
Oh, oh, now I understand you, a●… in part the nature of your Miracles too, fo●… remember in 88, there was a mighty Fema●… which brought forth a Son( as I may say) 〈…〉 an Hours warning, which was a swinging M●…racle, and I suppose wrought by your Churc●…  Pap. 
Thou art in the right on't.  Boy. 
As right as I am, I believe your M●…racles ceased suddenly after, for when the Dut●… Landed at Torbay, your party could perfor●… none, unless some Wonders by out-runni●… the Dutch at Saliihury-Plain.  Pap. 
Nay, for all your hast, there was so●… Miracles performed too, viz. in preserving t●… baby and his Mother from the terrible Ja●… of Meenhere, and the reputed Dadda also.  Boy. 
But hold Sir, with your leave, if yo●… Church could have worked such Wonders 〈…〉 you talk of, she would have preserved S●… John Friend and Sir William Perkins, fro●… that unlucky and fatal Jobb they perform●… at Tyburn, as also another holy Brother, who●… Head took leave of him at Tower-Hill, M●…racles in those Days I am sure would ha●… been very acceptable among the Sons of yo●… Church.  Pap. 
Out upon thee, thou Saucy Villain, let 〈…〉 have no more of these Reflections; Satan ●… s let loose then, so that no Miracle could ●… ke place; but he will be bound again e'er ●… ng, and then you'l see our Miracles will re●… ve again.  Boy. 
Nay, then I humbly beg your Pardon, ●… r saying your Army ran away for fear of the ●… utch; for if Satan was let loose at that time, 〈…〉 rather think he appeared among them at ●… alisbury, for as the Proverb says, They must ●… eeds go( and run too) when the Devil ●… rives.  Pap. 
Come, I see you're a Wag, let's have 〈…〉 Catch, and so conclude.  Boy. 
Now you talk of a Catch, it puts me 〈…〉 mind of the Hang-man, and therefore I be jeve you would have me sing to the Tune of ●… t. Coleman and the five Jesuits.  Pap. 
No Sirrah, that's too serious to make 〈…〉 Song on.  Boy. 
Oh Sir, 'tis the better, for it is like singing a Psalm at Tyburn.  Pap. 
Why, you don't think I shall be hanged, do ye you Knave;  Boy. 
I don't know, but if you go on as you begin, you may prosper so well as to be Sainted at last, and much good may do you with it.  Pap. 
Come, leave your joaking, and let's have the Song, but let's have no heresy in't I charge you.   

The SONG;  
To the Tune of Clories awake: Or, I am a Maid, &c.  
THE Papist's Religion will crrtainly please;  
For that will Indulge it to live at our ease;  
And if we have Peter-pence, fear not the Story  
Of the wide Mouth of Hell, or the Hole Purgatory,  
The Pope and Jack catch has made many Saints,  
And yet all the Papists are full of Complaints?  
But there is no reason I think for this thing,  
When Jack sends them all up to Heaven in a String.  
FINIS.   


licenced according to Order.   
London, Printed by R.G. in Little Britain, 169●…