Poor Robin's Character of a DUTCHMAN, As also his PREDICTIONS On the affairs of the UNITED PROVINCES OF HOLLAND.  
TOGETHER With a brief Epitome of the Ingratitude of the Dutch, and their barbarous cruelties committed on the English at Amboyna, Polaroon, and other Islands in the EAST INDIES.  
Tho Savages to Scythian Rocks confined,  
That know no God nor virtue of the mind,  
But only sense pursue, who hunger tame,  
With slaughtered lives they and their food, the same  
Are not so cruel as these Men so rude  
Who do requite Love with Ingratitude.  
LONDON, Printed for Benjamin Harris at the Sign of the Stationer's Arms in Bell-Alley in Colemanstreet. 1672.   

READER,  
THou art desired to take notice that, that idle Pamphlet Entitled, POOR ROBIN'S Collection of Ancient Prophecies, was none of his doing nor concern, but done for profit by some other Person, and not POOR ROBIN.   

POOR ROBIN'S Predictions on the affairs of the UNITED PROVINCES. OF HOLLAND.  
EUROPE now being the Stage of Action, whereon Mars seems to keep his Court, and English men like the Athenians having i●ching Ears after News, being more desirous to know what is to come, then to rectify what has been done amiss formerly; and I coming under the Notion of an ginger or Stargazer, and foretelling as many tru●hs in my Predictions as any of my Brethren Almanac-makers'; being thereto persuaded by many of my acquaintance, and yet (to confess truth) not without some relish of profit to myself; have also (amongst others) adventured to show you my Judgement of affairs, knowing, that (with the mouse) I can eat as far into a Holland cheese as another.  
But some cavilling Spiri●s will be apt enough to say, that these kind of Predictions are but mere cheats, that now a days, the surest way of Prophesying is after the thing is come to pas●; that the Stars are not so legible to an Astrologers understanding, that out of them he can read what future events will ensue. This is the opinion of a great many, but to such Nullifidians, hear what the Divine Dubartas says, 
Senseless is he who (without blush) denies  
What to s●u●d ●●●c●● most app●re●●lies:  
And 'gainst experience he that spits Fallations,  
Is to be hist from learned disputations,  
And such is he who doth affirm the Stars  
To have no force on these Inferiors.  
Though Heaven's effects we most apparent see  
In number more than Heavenly torches be,   
But to come more close to our matter, to speak something of these people who are of late transmografied from The Poor distressed States, to the High and Mighty Hogen mogen's, that scorn to eat Fat Bacon with out Bread and Butter; In whose Bellies (like Barrels) lie many pickled Herrings stewed therein with Brandy; that scorn to drink by Retail, but by wholesale; whose cups are not in Decimo Sexto but in Folio, whose Noses in the cup in Winter saves the labour of a Toast, and is enough to give their drink a second brewing; blind men with eyes, and Cripples with Legs on, 
Who will for fourteen hours together sit,  
Emptying the Bowls of Wine, the Brains of Wit.   
Those who have seen my Observations and Predictions which I made upon the Blazing Star or Comet that appeared in December, 1662. may there find what direful effects I prefaged would ensue thereupon, especially to Zealand, Holland, and the rest of the United Provinces, whose Tail tended directly towards them, for such warnings questionless come not in vain; and though we cannot excuse ourselves from many and grievous sins, yet such monstrous ingratitude as the Hollanders have shown to the English, such bloody and inhuman butcheries committed by them against us at Amboyna, Polaroon, and other places in the East Indies, such insolences at Sea, and ingratitude by Land, must needs cry aloud for vengeance.  
Ingratitude is a vice so accursed  
That of all vices we account it worst.  
I also by the Eclipses which happened in the next Year, told some of my Friends who are now living to justify it, what sad ●ffects they did portend to that Low-Country, but highminded people.  
For when pale faced Cynthia at Noon days  
Doth intercept Sol● most refulgent Rays,  
But some great Sta●e Eclipseth and from Hell  
Allecto loses all these Furies fell,  
Grim lean faced Famine, fou● infectious Plague,  
Blood thirsty War and Treason hateful Hag:  
Here pouring down Woes Universal Flood  
To drown the World in Seas of tears and blood.  
We read in Aesop of a Man who found a Snake nigh dead with cold, which he kindly took home, warmed and nourished, when growing lusty, instead of thanks it would have devoured the man. Such are these Dutch Low Lander, who near expiring in the time of Queen Elizabeth, being ready to give up the Ghost, and turn under Scullars to Charon the Ferryman, were by the English kindly aided and assisted, by whose valour they retained their Country, and now being warmed without with good clothes, and within with Brandy, they spurn, kick and molest that Nation, without whose aid they had been at this day no Nation themselves.  
Call me ungrateful Man (says the Poet) and call me any thing▪ I was a vice detested even amongst the Heathens themselves. The Lion out of whose Foot Androgeus pulled the Thorn, even that dumb beast could have taught them better manners, for he in requital saved his preservers life; but for man who should be endued with reason above beasts, to come so far behind beasts in gratitude, what thing can be more unreasonable? Well may we therefore cry out with Rombus the Schoolmaster in Sir Philip Sidneys Arcadia.  O Temporibus, O Manoribus. 
But to persuade a Dutch man to thankfulness, is almost as hard a task as to dissuade him from his dearest delight Brandy, that Liquor which he accounts of more than the Poets do of Helicon, or the Thespian Spring, and of which if you refuse to pledge him, he will presently be at Snick-a-snee, where though he kill you, they will be so far from stopping him, that with one voice they will cry, Lope sceilum, Lope, which is in English, Run thief, run, a very fit appellation for them; for hear how the Poet doth enstile drunkenness▪  
Audacious thief, that oft before one's fact,  
Steals Man away, and leaves a beast in place.  
And so much are they addicted to that swinish vice of drunkenness, that not only whole nights are consumed by them; but in their Cups they will also consult of matters of State▪ a custom which the o●d Grecians used; but more temperately, for thus in Homer's Il●a●● we find Nestor advising Again●mn●n.  

Phoebe convivium senibus, deret te, nec inderens est:  
Plena tibi vimo tentoria, quod names achivorum.  
Quotidianae ex Thracia per latum po●tum advehunt.  
Omnis tibi est comm●ditas excipiendi, multisque impe●as,  
Multis autem congregatis, illi obdies qui op●●mum.  
Consilium consulerit. Lib. 1.   

Feast thou the ancient, it befits thy place,  
With Wine by Greek Ships daily brought from Thrace.  
Thy Tents abound, Provision at hand,  
Of all sorts hast thou, and Men at command.  
Many assembled so, amongst the ●est,  
His counsel follow that a viseth best.   
This their so great inebriation caused as I conceive our English Proverb when they see a Man fuddled, to say he is as drunk as a Dutchman; well may we therefore conclude of these Men who are so given to stagger, that they are near falling; and then th●se Water Rats who in adversity creep and fawn like Spaniels, and in prosperity scorn and ●●●lifie their superiors, may be reduced from la●di●g fat b●con when they feed on it with butter, to be fair and mannerly, and eat Bread with their Pudding,  
It is said of an English Man, that by two things he may be known wheresoever he comes; The one is, that let the weather be never so hot, he will endeavour to get towards the Chimney at co●ner; and hi● s●cond Character tells us, that when he hears the Cl●ck strike, upon the first stroke, he asks him that is next him▪ what is it a Clock? He has not the patience to tell it himself, whereby he might know, but by his inquisitiveness hinders the other also from telling it, by which means they both remain ignorant; These are two harmless things which often in Jest I have heard spoken of our Nation. Now there is also two things whereby a D●tch Man may be known, The first is, that tell him of any benefi● received, and he hath the art of forgetfulness at his Finger's ends; and for the second, that when he rises in a morning, the first word that comes out of his mouth is to ask for brandy; and I have also heard it (I suppose Jestingly) spoken, that when the Women wean their Children, they only take a Sucking bottle and fill it full of brandy, of which when the Child hath once tasted, he never regards his Mother's milk afterwards.  
A Dutch Man is like an O●●er, that lives partly on the Water, partly on the Land, and gets Preys upon both, all is Fish that comes to Net; and as when living he commonly feeds upon Fishes, so when dead the Fis●e● commonly feed upon him; for though ●e may escape St. ●homas a Water, yet for the most part he makes his exit at Sea, when for to save the charges of a Grave he is thrown into the Water, where one Shark devours another.  
Strange thing in Nature 'tif you i● heed  
That one Shark should upon another feed,  
Hogs will not feed on Hog●, neither yet will  
The Wolves eat Wolves, nor seek their blood to spill;  
But O a Dutch Man he is dainty Mea●,  
And dress in pickle fit for Sharks to eat.  
A Dutch Man in his great breeches is like to the picture I have seen of Some body, and such he would feign accounted to be. He keeps a bustle in the world, drinks, slavers, and when he is a hungry offers up his devotions to a pickled Herring, which he will maintain by nine●een several arguments, to be the rarest dish in the world, and his chiefest argument is, because it is a Shooing horn to draw down drink. He is very curious to keep his shoes clean, yet had rather foul a Room by vomiting, then to be bated one ace of his beloved Liquor. In sum, when sleep had a little revived him of the Staggers, he looks like a toast drowned in ale, which is only fit to be thrown away.  
He is Judged to be very chaste, and the reason is, she must be very mercenary indeed that will admit him to her embraces, yet such trading may be, because those people deal for ready money, and should she do a courtesy for a Dutch Man he would not thank her for it, though perhaps he might have cause to remember her in his bones.  
But to draw towards a conclusion of the Character of a Dutch Man, lest we bestow more cost of the sauce then the Meat is worth. I shall only add a word or two of exhortation to those Sons of Neptune and Bellena, our Gallant Seamen, and so finish at this tim●.  
Brave Martial Spirits, whose valour the world admires and dreads; you are now entering on the Theatre of honour and renown, fight for your King and Country, than which no cause whatsoever more just and glorious, victorious fame attends your undertake, in so just, so laudable, so honourable an enterprise. Dread not those Men whose high ingratitude hath justly made them odious to all sorts of People who have but the least pretensions to honesty. Go on bravely, fight valiantly, and never fear but to come off victoriously.  
Then shall the Chronicles record your Names,  
With lasting Honour and your splendid Fames,  
Shall ever live, who for your Country's good,  
So bravely and undauntedly have stood.  
FINIS.