THE Pope's Warehouse, Laid Open to the World: Or, A True Account how many TRADES The Pope is on, VIZ. 
 He is a Goldsmith, a Jeweller, a Linen-draper, a Silkman, a Turner, a Brazier, an Iron-monger, a Stone-Cutter, a Tinker, a Vintner, a Corn-Chandler, a Drover, a Coach maker, a Body-Seller, and a Soul Seller.  
To which is added Sir William waller's new Discovery of the Pope's Sham-Plot.  
Entered According to Order.  
LONDON, Printed for T. Mills and are to be Sold by a Running Bookseller, 1683.   

The Pope's Warehouse laid open to the World, or a true Account how many Trades the Pope is on.  
Reader,  
YOU may read in Rev. 18. 12, 13. What a stately Shop of Ware the Antichrist has, where you may have for ready Money, the Merchandise of Goods and Silver, precious Stones and Pearls, fine Linen and Purple, all Silk and Scarlet, all Thyme or Sweet-wood, all manner of Ivory, all manner of Vessels of precious Wood, of Brass, of Iron, and of Marble, yet more, yea, Cinnamon, Odours, and Ointments, yea, Frankincense, Wine and Oil, yea, fine Flower and Wheat, yet more, there be Beasts, and Sheep, and Horses, I wonder Asses are left out, and Chariots, and Slaves no doubt on't, but the greatest Ware is behind, the Souls of Men.  
But I wonder he exposeth his Scarlet to Sale having so much use for it to array the Scarlet Whore, as also that the Beast should be a Seller of Beasts, and above all, I wonder what a price he sets upon the Souls of Men, seeing our Lord Christ (who best knew the worth of Souls, because he only went to the Price of Souls) valued one Soul worth the whole World, Matth. 16. 26. Surely he must be the Antichrist who selleth Souls for Trifles. In a word, surely this Pope is Jack of all Trades, here he's a Goldsmith, with his Gold and Silver, and it may be a Bancker, I wish him to become a Bankrupt; here he is a Jeweller with his Pearls and precious Stones; here he is a Linen-draper with his fine Linen and Purple; I doubt he wants the Scotch-Cloth; here you have him a Silkman with his Silks of all sorts, and fears not but he has Satin (or Satan) enough, here he is a Turner, that sells all sorts of Vessels, wherewith he turns the World up-side down, this he effects by Vessels of wrath, but he sells for Slaves the Vessels of Mercy, here you may have him one while a Brazier, with his Brass, another while an Ironmonger with his Iron, yea, sometimes a Stone-Cutter, with his Marble, and why not a Tinker too, being a kin to him, that instead of mending some holes, made a many more, yet was well paid for his pains; here he is a Druggist with his Cinnamon, Odours and Ointment; here he is a Vintner, with his Bottles of Wine to comfort the Heart, and his Cruises of Oil to cheer and clear the Countenance, 'tis well if there be not a Tincture of the Wine of Sodom among hands, yea, rather than fail he becomes a Corn-Chandler, affording you Wheat, either broken into Flower, (with Bran enough in it,) or in the whole Grain, but a little musty by laying in a bad Granary or Garner, the Apostolical Chamber, nay rather than sit Idle, he will come as a Rustic Drover to sell Beasts, and Sheep, and Horses, (well mouthed and man'd all, and made as Tame as Asses) than a Coach-maker, who has his Chariots to Sell, but have a care they carry you not to Purgatory instead of Abraham's Bosom, and lastly he becomes a Body-seller, and a Soul-seller also, but let us turn a side to see this great wonder, but hold, 'tis dangerous venturing into his Antic Chamber, lest this Grand Cheat pick your Pocket, viz. Here are some of the Pope's Wares, that are exposed to Sale by Inch of Candle, take as followeth.  
Imprimus, a Pardon for the third part of your Sins, for 7 l. 10 s. and if you would buy the other two parts, 'twill cost you 22 l. 10 s. and a very rich pennyworth.  
Imprimus, a Pardon for 48 years' sin, as you can agree with his unholiness, he is as good as the Devil can make him, you may possibly wheadle him to your own terms with Nuts and Apples.  
Imprimus, a Pardon for 2800 years, may be had Dog cheap, only for saying a few prayers, they will keep you out of Purgatory for a long time upon easy Terms.  
Imprimus, a Pardon for 33000 years, at a very low Rate, only for once going up a pair of Stairs.  
Imprimus, for Perjury 9 s. for Murder 2 d. you may Kill your Father, Mother, Wife and Sister, and shall pay but 10 s. 6 d. for Adultery 7 s. 6 d. for Burning a Neighbour's house Dog cheap at 12 s.  
Item, if you be a Priest, you may keep a Whore, paying 12 s. and 6 d. and if a Layman it will cost you no more, that the one may not deride the other, viz. A Licence to be Lazy at 4 d.  
A Licence to Eat Flesh in Lent, will cost you 12 s. here you may have Holy Water, to drive away the Devil, at 8 l. a quart very dear, but very real, it is able to Conjure away the strongest Devil in Hell, you may have Holy Oil at 2 d. farthing a quart, here is Holy Salt at one penny a peck.  
Item, here is exposed to sale the Holy Milk of the Virgin-Mary, which some of the Pope's cursed Doctors affirm, is as Sovereign and Salvifical as the Blood of Her Son our Saviour, however 'tis commended most highly for neverfailing to cure Consumptions, far exceeding the Milk of an Ass, or that of the Red-Cow; what a Fool is the Consumptive Pope or Antichrist himself, who doth not by this trusty trick disappoint the Divine doom passed upon him, what need he fear (that the Lord shall Consume him with the Spirit of his mouth,) 2 Thess. 2. 8. Seeing an hearty draught of this Holy Milk will care the Consumptions, this Pope then said, I will have my will in despite of God, viz. Who durst put such an affronting cheat upon so Holy a Father as Barnard the Priest did, which for brevity sake I omit, viz. 'Tis true 500 years ago since they cried in Rome, will ye buy any Holy Milk, whereby they did put the greatest dishonour upon the Holy. Mother of our Lord, (whom they pretended to adore) in making her such a Milk Beast, as Ten of the best Cows in Holland cannot give the like quantity in Ten years.  
Yea, here is Holy Bread to be had, (the Pope good man) takes good care for your Table, and to furnish it so far as Holy Water, Holy Oil, Holy Salt, Holy Milk, and Holy Bread will go, but surely all these do but look like a Lent dinner, I hope his unholiness keeps a better Table for himself; if you be a Water drinker, here's the best of the kind, Holy Water for you, of the Popes own making, I should have said Consecrating, if you be a Milksop, here's the best of the kind, Holy Milk, the self same your Saviour sucked out of the self same Breasts, when he was a Child, and who will not be content with the same fare that bred the Blessed Babe of Bethlehem, the Holy Child Jesus, and because the Master of this Lent Feast will not undervalue you as a sort of Sucklings, he is so kind hearted as to allow you Bread to your Milk, that you may sup it and not suck it, is not biting and supping good fair, especially of Holy Bread and Holy Milk, you must not expect a glass of Wine in the Pope's Ware-Shop, but you must suck Wine out of the Bread if you will have it, and can catch it, neither must you grudge that you have only Bread, (though it be but course Barley Bread, such as you were never brought up with,) 'tis however Holy Bread, and the holier, and so more satisfactory, because (as this Master tells you) 'tis a Fragment of those five Loaves wherewith (Christ) said the Multitude, and picked out of the twelve Baskets (that were taken away) by some of the Pope's nimble Snips, but I wonder how they have kept it from Moulding ever since, the Mouldy Bread wherewith the Gibeonites cheated Joshua, was not so many hours Old, as this Holy Bread is years, at this day, if it be sound Bread that is shown you, take heed you be not cheated with it, as Joshua was with the Mouldy, but you will say, why is Holy Salt prepared for the Table, when the forementioned fair needs it not, answer, you must know 'tis not set there for fashion-sake only.  
Here you may have Holy Fish too, and of the self same two Fishes wherewith Christ fed the Multitude also, the Bread and the Fish were taken out of the same Baskets, and if you suppose it fresh Fish, than there is use for your Salt, but to prevent your second objection about the use of your Oil, you must rather suppose it Holy Fish salted with that Holy Salt, (it could never otherwise been kept so long sweet for these sixteen Centuaries) and then your Holy Oil will make your Holy Fish, (so called) slip down the better, and be Modish enough, and what would you have more, is not here enough for a four penny Ordinary.  
Item, besides this Belly-Timber, here you are treated with a numberless number of Rarities, as first, the Ass' tail upon which Christ Rod on, but not a word of his Ears, secondly, joseph's Breeches both Threadbare and out of Fashion, they will do you neither Credit nor Service. Thirdly, a Feather from the Cock that Crew, and awakened Peter's Conscience, yet this startles not Peter's successor for his Apostasy; as also a Feather from Gabriels' wing, taken up at such a time when as Angels cast their Feathers. Fourthly, choice Hair-Cloath, the same that Elijah and John-Baptist wore, good enough for the Pope to do Penance in, for forcing the witnesses into Sackcloth. Fifthly, whole Cart-Loads of Apostles Bones, sometimes those of a Thief (as once) drops in among them, good for I know not what.  
Item, Sold at a very Reasonable Rate,  
First, an Holy Rag Clipped off from Christ's Seamless Coat, 'tis a wonder how the Pope got it from the Soldiers, to whom it fell by casting Lots, and 'tis a wonder they have not Clipped it all away by this time.  
Secondly, the very Slippers Christ wore, when he being weary with walking about doing good, put off his Shoes for the ease of his Feet, surely they were made of well Tand-Leather that lasteth still, and are not Rotten to dirt  this day; and I wonder the Pope doth expose them and not keep them himself, for they cannot want virtue to Cure his Gouty Golls, 'tis strange we hear nothing of his Shoes, (in the Pope's Warehouse) the Latchets were off, John Baptist (though the greatest Born of Woman) thought himself unworthy to unloose, Matth. 11. 11. Luke 5. 16.  
Thirdly, the very Linen Cloth with which Christ was Wrapped in the Sepulchre, as likewise that wherewith Christ wiped his Disciples feet, I am thinking the Man that Cries in our Streets, (here is your strong lasting Linen Cloth,) might do good service in this Romish Market.  
Fourthly, the very Needles, Thread, Work-Baskets and Sizzers of the Virgin Mary, are to be Sold.  
Fifthly and Lastly, here you may have whatever your heart wishes, or need doth require, is it any of those many things mentioned in Rev. 18. 12. 13. Rich all, here they are to be had, want your Holy Bells, (Baptised with Godfathers and Godmothers,) God Bless our empty new erected Steeples, or want your Holy Beads made of Glass, Wood, Stone, Coral or Amber, Holy Wax for your Candles, Holy Knives for Cutting Heretics Throats, of Holy Roses, an Christmas time, a rare Present for Princes, or what else soever, all is Holy that comes from his unholiness, and all have a Power to drive away the Devil, yet the Devil takes most of those that are taken with these, (Pejafrauds) Holy Cheats, none of their Names are in the Lamb's Book, Rev. 13. 8. God Bless every good Englishman from the Beast and his Cheating Tricks.  
Here follows the Sham-Plot Discovered by Sir William Waller; the late Earl of Shaftsbury, was the Papists great Stumbling-Block, because his Sagality had so oft countermined their Devilish designs, hereupon Plots were laid against his Life, both by Men and Women, in City and Country.  
The Duke of Buckingham was an Eyesore to them for saying (I suppose) he would never turn Papist, till they can eat up the Devil, as they say, they do God in their Host.  
There was a Hellish Sham-Plot at Last contrived by the Bloody Papists, to Blow up all the Protestant Lords, (the Duke of Monmouth) and all the Protestant Gentry in City and Country at one Blast, by fixing high Treason upon them all Universally, and when the Knife was at our Throats, God sent Sir William Waller to turn up the bottom of Madam Celliers Meal-Tub, where all the Bran of this Brutish Intrigue was Discovered.  
Cum Multis aliis quae nunc perscribere longum est.  
FINIS.