A POSTSCRIPT TO THE OBSERVATORS First Volumn. OR, THE ANSWER OF MILES PRANCE, To Several of those Papers, Wherein he finds himself most Traduced and Slandered. With some Notes to be added to Observator Numb. 8. of the 2d. Volumn.  Psalm LII. 
Thy Tongue imagineth Wickedness, and with Lies thou Cuttest like a sharp Razor.  
Thou hast loved to speak all words that may do hurt, O thou false Tongue.  
Therefore shall God destroy thee for ever, he shall take thee and pluck thee out of thy Dwelling, and Root thee out of the Land of the Living.  
LONDON: Printed for the Author, and are to be Sold by R. Janeway in Queens-Head-Alley in Pater-Noster-Row. 1684.   

TO THE LOYAL Protestant Readers.  
HAving made so long an Apology in the first pages for the Necessity as well as Justice of my appearing now in Print, I intended not to have troubled myself or you with any particular Address, till finding new Scandals daily sprung upon me, the Refuting whereof, Rendered these Papers more tedious, then at first designed, I must therefore beg pardon for their Bulk; But, why all this stir and so many Sheets? What is it to us, you'll say, whether Prance be a Cheat, or the Observator a Liar! Not much perhaps to you, but of great Importance to me, I'll assure you Gentlemen; since I perceive my Daily Conversation is beset with Spies, and no man (though never so honest and Loyal) That comes into my Company, but is presently in danger of being exposed as a Fanatic, and marked out (right or wrong) to the fury of the Rabble, and destruction of his Fortune and Family: And Considering that this usage may be any other man's Case to morrow, as well as mine to day; whenever the Observator for his own Glory, or on any secret design, shall think fit to proclaim War against him; I thought it high time to give all the World satisfaction of the Truth of the Case between Mr. L'Estrange and myself; That all persons of this Age, and such as shall write Histories in the next (which I find our Observator much values his Numerous Sheets upon, as the just Standard for them to take measures from) may have the Cognizance as well of the Defence as of the Charge; For he that has a Tongue to Condemn, before he employs both his Ears to hear either Party, deserves to be Appealed from, as an incompetent Judge.  
The Observator makes large Professions, that his Engagement is for the Government, and the Established Church; But I humbly Conceive, 'tis no Honour or Service to either, That he Intermixes so much his own Personal Piques and Animosities, & takes Liberty merely on the Tales of his Busy Emissaries, to Expose any Honest Loyal Subject, that gives not up all the Faculties of his Soul, to a Blind Admiration of, and Acquiescence in his Papers, which are in many Particulars (For I Speak only as to what I am Concerned in) as False and Malicious, as Trifling and Illogical.  
The Gentleman has Liberally bestowed on me the Titles of Cheat, Rogue, Rascal, Blasphemer, almost always Drunk, etc. But I thought it below the Gravity of a Citizen, or any Moral Man, much more of a Christian, to Reply in the Scurrilous Language of an Oyster Boat; and therefore as far as the matter would possibly bear, I have Abstained from any Undecent Terms; how much soever deserved. Nor dare vie with so great a Master in the Mysteries of Buffoonery and Fooling: Soft Words and hard Arguments, as little Droll, and as much Reason as may be afforded, is the best method for all Controversies. Yet to divert the Reader; I have now and then descended to answer the Gentleman a little in his own way, to show that what some men so highly Admire, is no such Transcendent Quality, but it might be Imitated.  
A Little Wit, joined with a Vast Ill Nature,  
And qualified for Lies, as well as satire;  
May easily Commence an Observator.  
But not to enlarge the Porch to a building which is already too big— The whole matter, Loyal Readers, is before you, and having first considered impartially, you are at Liberty to pass your Judgements as you find Cause. If any object the following Leaves are not all of my own Composing, It shall readily he granted; Nor can I find any body will swear, that all the Observators are wholly of Mr. L'Estrange's own handy work; Let it therefore suffice, That there is nothing here said on my behalf, which I do not approve, and know to be true. And therefore am Ready to justify every Tittle; Witness my Hand,  
Miles Prance.   

A POSTSCRIPT, etc.  
THE Noise Mr. L'Estrange has laboriously (and even to many of his own Admirers, nauseously) made about Brass-Screws, etc. was in itself so improbable as well as false; and his naked Suggestions (unconfirmed with the least proof, or his being able to vouch any Authors or Witnesses for so heinous a Charge) having been already refuted by the positive Affidavit of an uninteressed Person, and a Romanist too, disproving the same; That, as I doubt not, but most sober considerate Persons, are long since satisfied of the Injustice of that Accusation, so I had the Charity to hope the Observator himself, however at first Misinformed, might ere this be ashamed on't.  
But finding that Gentleman, in his Observators, Numb. 470, and 471, Challenging all the World to Instance wherein he has misreported, or partially represented any one matter of Fact, and particularly reviving this Threadbare Story, as one of the Trophies of his Achievements, and consigning the same over, as a matter undeniable to the Belief of Posterity: I should be wanting to Truth and my own Innocency, if I should not publicly Check, and yet further Detect those Scandals, which tend not only to the blasting of my Reputation, spoiling of my Trade, and Ruin of my Family, (which I can prove, Mr. L'Estrange with his own Mouth, most unchristianly owned to be his Design) but also (which I conceive the first Forgers of this Scandal principally intend) the Discrediting that Evidence, I have faithfully given touching the manner of Sir Edmundbury Godfrey's Murder: That indelible stain, which all the Pope's Holy-Water shall never be able to wash off.  
I foresee under what Disadvantages I appear, and am sorry I cannot avoid a Contest, with a Gentleman of known Abilities, and reputed Loyalty, so high in Popular Esteem, of so large an Invention, and taking Expressions, and one who will be sure to have the Last Word; nor do I forget his Character, as now qualified, a Magistrate; but Truth is Truth, even in the Courser Language of a Silver-Smith: And Falsehoods and Calumnies are no better than Lies and Devices of the Devil to be abhorred by all Christians and honest Men, though dressed up in never so rich Embroideries of Craft and Oratory. And though God and Nature have not endued me with equal parts, nor Fortune with so liberal an Education, (which the Loyalty of my Father to his King, was the chief occasion that disabled him to afford me) so that I may not be so useful; yet I am bound to be, and by God's Grace, will never fail to approve myself as Honest a Man, as Faithful and Obedient a Subject, and as Hearty and Dutiful a Son of the Church of England, by Law Established, as the Wittiest Observator in Christendom.  
The Veneration I have for His Sacred Majesty, my Sovereign, guides my willing Duty to pay all JustRespects to every Person (though never so much my particular Enemy) that is vested with any subordinate Authority under him. 'Tis not with Mr. L'Estrange the Justice, but L'Estrange the Observator my Dispute lies; if he send out a Legal Warrant, I will readily obey; but if he publish things false and scandalous of me, I see not, why I may not Answer it, without being Taxed as guilty of any Disrespect to the Government. His Gracious Majesty employing any in the Commission of the Peace, does not, I am sure, thereby intent to privilege Him, to injure the meanest of His Subjects.  
What I attempt is no more than all Laws Divine and Humane allow, viz. The liberty of an unblamable Defence; to wipe off Dirt (or rather Venom) causelessly thrown upon me: In doing which, if any of it shall, by the Beams of Truth, be reflected back on the first Author, who can help it?  
For whatever Service Mr. L'Estrange has done the Government and the Church, against the Factious, or the Enemies to either, I Cordially applaud and thank him. Nor do I Repine at his (reported) Presents and New-years-Gifts of a 1000 (nay, were they ten sand) Guineas, since for aught I know, he has deserved them; for in this Close-fisted Age, People are not apt to part with their Money, but on good Considerations. However I am pleased to hear that Charity or Gratitude (call it which you will) is so great and General amongst Protestants, and hope we shall hereby silence the Papists, upbraiding us for neglect of Good Works: I like a Chedder-Cheese (to borrow the Metaphor from a well known Author) never the worse for being made Great by the Milk of the whole Parish; nor shall I ever envy any Man's growing Fat on the Almsbasket.  
In a word, I have as good an Esteem for the Active and Ingenious Squire L'Estrange, as I ought to have. And if (as the Author of The Packet of Advice from Geneva, 
* A Pamphlet lately suppressed, by the Order (as I am informed) of the Right Honourable and Reverend, my Lord the Bishop of London, as Scandalising the whole Reformation, under pretence of exposing Presbyterians. The Author of which was one Mr. Prat (that calls himself Doctor) one that heretofore was always not only a professed, but virulent Papist, and I never heard of his Conversion.  Numb. 2. p. 10. affirms. He be one undoubtedly sent from above to Act here in his Generation, for the great Good of his King and Country, and to be vere Malleus Rebellium & Phanaticorum (which, I am told, signifies, a Mawler of Rebels and fanatics) I only wish, he had kept altogether to that work; let him Mawl them O' God's Name, as long as he lift, till his Observators outswell the Volumes of Bellarmine; and scourge them more severely than ever he did (as himself has told us) the Wicked Cats that haunted his Birdcage, that is, till he has made them leave off their Rogueries.  
But if he will abandon his Province, and pull me Head and Ears out of the Church of England, and not only make me a Fanatic in spite of my Teeth, but also point me out as a Rogue, one that have for sworn my se●f against him: And that I cheated Her Majesty with Brass Screws; and designed to defraud a Man of a Tankard, and made away my Servant, and sent for him, the said L'Estrange, to the Old Dog-Tavern, and then d●n●●d it, with such and such horrid Oaths, when not a word of all this is true; I hope I may have leave to say— Your Worship in these particulars is mistaken; and to disabuse the World therein, even in like public manner; since, as himself says, Observator, Num. 473. Nothing but Print can answer Print. Besides, I have his own Allowance, Observator 470. You are at Liberty to show the World my Errors.  
Now therefore to the matter— And first, the old Job of Brass-screws— That which Mr. L'Estrange affirms, is— That I being employed to make an Antependium to the Altar of Her Majesty's Chapel, did fraudulently either make Brass-screws and reckon for them as Silver, or having made Silver, and being paid for them as such, did purloin the Silver ones, and put Brass ones, with only Silver Heads in their stead— Here's no less than Cheat, and Felony, and Sacrilege, all Charged in a Lump, but where's the Proof? As for that, you have only the bare Suggestion of the Observator: Now, though that Author's Opinion, when he talks of the Politics, may (for aught I know) be indisputable; yet as to matter of Fact, if he shall tell us, it Rains Buttered Parsnips, and that the Thames is turned into a dish of Clouted Cream, when we see nothing but Snow falling, and Ice underfoot, he must excuse, such as wear Eyes about them, if they demur a little to the Belief of those Miracles.  
For the Readers satisfaction; who possibly may not be so well skilled in Chappel-Furniture, as an Observator, that owns, he has been forty times at Mass: I must here first describe what an Antependium is, viz. An Ornament set before the Front of the Altar, of which there are several sorts, some more Rich for Great Festivals, some more Mean, for Ordinary times; some Mourning one's used, when Mass is said for Souls in Purgatory, which (if I do not mis-remember) is every Monday; and accordingly these Antependiums are frequently removed, as occasion requires.  
That which I was concerned about, was a very Rich one, to be used on High days; And Doctor Godden, Treasurer of Her Majesty's Chapel, by the means of Father James, (who was then my Confessor) employed me, it being proposed to me and Mr. M. (a Roman Goldsmith in Fleetstreet,) and both of us made Draughts or Models, which, the Doctor told me, were presented to the Queen, and Her Majesty was Graciously pleased to approve of mine, and so I was pitched upon to do it; the rather (as I believe,) for that the same Doctor told me, Mr. M. asked a 4th part more per Ounce, for Work and Fashion, than I offered to do it for.  
Being thus employed, and having made a punctual Bargain at fixed Rates and Prizes, to make an Antependium, and steps to the Altar, and two large Flower-Pots; I was furnished with a quantity of old broken Silver belonging to the Chapel, which I spent several days time and labour, in taking off from the Wood, etc. Which Silver was intended both to supply matter for the Work to be done, and with its overplus to pay me for doing it, and was all exactly weighed when delivered to me; which was as near as I can remember, about the Month of September, 1674. And I was enjoined to smish against the Feast of our Saviour's Nativity, so there was a necessity to employ more hands, (in so large a piece of work) than my own and my Servants (yet the Observator objects as a Crime that I did not do it all myself, whereas had I designed a Cheat, I should myself have endeavoured to do it all.) But I caused the old Silver to be melted down by others, (who might be able to attest it) which, tho' I confess I did not do out of any foresight, yet 'twas happy for me, since otherwise I might now have been liable to a far greater scandal of Embasing it, (a more tempting bait to nibble at, than this peddling business of a few Brass Screws.) Having thus caused it to be melted, and several Assays to be made thereof at our Hall, (whereby it appeared not to be worth above four Shillings an ounce) and showed them to Doctor Godden, (who I must tell Mr. L'Estrange, was a person so Faithful to Her Majesty's Interests, and in himself so Curious, Exact, and Sagacious, as not easily to be imposed upon) He thereupon by a note under his hand, (which I have yet to show) dated September 28, 1674. Allowed the overplus to me, towards my payment at four Shillings per Ounce, expressing the Reason in these words— The coursness of the Silver, and waste (which was not small) considered.  
The work going on, and Screws to fix the Silver to the Wood, which was to support it, being requisite, some few of those Screws were at first made of Silver, but perceiving the Silver allowed, was not like to hold out to be enough to finish the work and to pay me, as was designed, I acquainted the Doctor and Mr. Plum (his Man) and Mr. Coupledyke, one of Her Majesty's Servants, therewith, withal advertising them; That I thought Screws of Brass would be altogether as serviceable, and so that Silver might be spared if they thought fit, only on the outside to affix to them thin Silver Plates for heads to answer to the rest of the Work, which they readily consented to, and so those few Screws made, were melted down and employed in the Work, and all the Screws made of Brass, or if any one were left in by oversight, 'tis more than I know.  
The Work being done, Mr. Plum saw it all weighed and set up, and some of the Screws being found to be too long, Mr. Smith (a Workman employed by me, and who made at least several of these Brass Screws) did cut off the ends to shorten them, and soon after came Doctor Godden himself, and would have it weighed again, saying, though he doubted not my word, and his Man's Relation, yet he could with more assurance satisfy Her Majesty, when he had seen it weighed himself, and so it was taken asunder again, and weighed in parts, (the Brazen Screws being apparent before him, but not weighed, only the Heads of Silver reckoned for, which were weighed before they were put on, and being very inconsiderable, were not disputed) and so the Work was sent home to the Chapel; and tho', the surplusage of the Silver falling short as aforesaid, I was not fully paid according to the Bargain, yet considering how good a Mistress I had of Her Majesty, from whom I had almost work continually; and not doubting but in time I should be satisfied, it rested all the years, 1675, 76, 77, and 78. Towards the latter end of which last year, I having given a discovery of Justice Godfrey's Murder, most of the Romans began to be very much my Enemies, and several Libels, As the Compendium, etc. were th● 〈◊〉 abroad; reflecting amongst others on me; but still not a word of this matter, nor any hint of my being an unjust or dishonest man, before I forsook their Church.  
But, (almost eight years after the work done,) viz. the first of April (the day Fools are wont to be sent on Errands) 1682. Mr. L'Estrange the first of all merliving (as far as I can learn) broached this story in Observator, Numb. 117. very tenderly (forsooth) at first by way of Quaere or Advertisement, but afterwards, as some Witty People, by heat of fancy, invent pretty Tales, and tell them so often, that at last they themselves begin to believe them, so he grew more positive in the business; and now, Observator 471, is pleased to scoff at all thoughts of Repentance for it, which yet I hope God will give him, ere he goes out of this World, or else his account is like to be very dreadful in the next, for if for every idle word we must answer, much more for forging and promoting Lies and Scandals, designed to Ruin our Neighbour▪ and all persisted in and boasted of.  
In the mean time, I shall first show the unlikelyhood of the matter thus charged upon me; which against Nude Averments (tho' never so confident) is a sufficient defence. Secondly, I shall disprove his suggestions by Testimony upon Oath, and undeniable demonstrations?  
When a man is falsely and maliciously attacked with Calumnies, that which otherwise would be insufferable vanity, becomes necessity; and on that score, I must crave the Readers excuse for mentioning some Truths, which without such a forced put, I would have been far enough from relating of myself: As,  
1. That having now been a Trader towards twenty years, I dare appeal to all, that I have had Dealings with, (Papists or Protestants) if they can justly say, I ever wronged them, or can instance in any particulars, wherein they found me addicted or inclinable to little sharking Tricks, Injustice, Fraud, or Over-reaching? Nay, whether on the other side, it be not true, that amongst the Roman Catholics, (with whom my chief Dealings lay, until I left them,) I were not generally called by the Name of Honest Prance? If any such ill Practices could have been proved, as Mr. L'Estrange has not been wanting by his frequent Proclamations to invite Accusers, so I want not Ill-willers, who would be glad of the opportunity, and you would e'er this, have heard of some other Pranks besides the Brass Screws, yet no such thing has appeared. But on the contrary, even since I have renounced their Religion, Father Lewis the Jesuit, and Father Hanslipp the Monk (upon my happening into their Company, when brought up to Newgate,) did declare before several Witnesses, that they always looked upon me to be as Honest a man (speaking as to my dealing) as any in the World; and this was spoken on a long experience too, for with that Father Lewis (afterwards Executed upon a Conviction of Priesthood in Wales) I had very considerable dealings in the way of my Trade, now 'tis very strange, that I, that had managed matters so squarely with all the rest of my Customers, should so basely begin my Cheats upon Her Majesty, who was the best Mistress I had, or could ever hope for, and whose Work (which was a considerable part of my Livelihood) I must certainly expect to lose, as soon as the Cheat should be discovered, which (as I shall prove presently) 'twas impossible (had it been so) to conceal for a day.  
2 lie. Further, as to my Integrity, and Scorning to grow Rich by Unlawful and dishonest gain; I might give several Instances; but I shall trouble the Reader only with Two; viz. Several years ago (about the time, as I remember, that I made this Antipendium) my Lady Gage lost a Jewel, and long after, near half a year, when the Bills given out, on the first missing it, were forgot, and the Lady despaired of ever hearing of it, this Jewel was proffered me, and I knew it worth about 45 l. and might have had it for 10 l. but reflecting on the Parties readiness to part with it on such terms, and thereupon calling to mind the Bill, I stopped it, and restored the Jewel to the Lady. Now here might have been a secure Prize of 30 l. for the Reward in the Bill was but 5 l. (to the best of my memory) and if I had bought it for 10 l. I might have made above 40 l. of it, and having taken out the Stones, there would have been little fear of its ever being discovered, but I detested any such lewd design. And of this, that Honourable Lady, a Roman Catholic, and whom I suppose yet living, will, I doubt not, afford me the Justice of her Attestation to any that shall inquire.  
Since that, having an Account with one Mr. Ridge, upon our Reckoning I perceived he had forgot to charge me with some Ounces of Gold, amounting to about 12 l. and was so far from calling the same to mind, that he allowed himself a Debtor for about that Value; and so it must have passed, had I not voluntarily showed him his mistake from my Book. Now, that I, who used so much tenderness in these Cases, should thus impudently attempt to defraud Her Majesty, will I suppose need some proof before it be credited by Impartial men.  
Especially, if they consider me then a strict and zealous Catholic; for, that so I was, I appeal to all that know me, being as bigoted therein as any, and merely on that score, the Priests Kelly, etc. had the confidence to trust me with their Wicked Intrigue against Sir Edmundbury Godfrey. Now being thus Principled, tho' I had been so Immoral, as to have wronged Persons in other Cases, yet 'tis hard to think, I should do it here, where fraud must become Sacrilege, and no less impiety than Robbing that very Holy Altar, before which I so constanlty paid my Devotions, wherein the thoughts of the present instances of my Cozenage, must continually upbraid and torture me.  
All this severally and jointly considered, may amount at least to a Violent presumption, of the falsity of the Observators simple Allegation, to any man, whose prejudices or interest have not made him resolve to believe any Scandals, tho' never so unreasonable, of Prance, and blindly to swallow, without chewing, any thing he meets with in an Observator.  
For nothing can be more absurd, than to imagine, that I, thus circumstanced, should be guilty of the Grand Cheat he would now fix upon me, so contrary to the common bent of my Inclinations, as well as justice, and so highly against all Gratitude as well as the apprehensions of Religion, and attended with such apparent hazards and under a certainty of being discovered, and all this for so paltry a profit, as could be expected from such a business; and also when I had not the least Temptations of want to prompt to it; for 'tis well known, that, by her Majesty's favour and the interest I had with the Roman Clergy, and Gentlemen of that persuasion, I had a very Competent Trade, and tho' I always lived freely for a Person of my condition, yet I may justly aver that when I fell into my troubles in 78. I was worth a 1000 l. And no less was attested (as I have been Credibly Informed) to his Majesty and Council by a worthy Gentleman, still in the Commission of the Peace, on his view of my Shop, and House, when I was first seized.  
But the Observators suggestions are not only Improbable, but Notoriously false, which if I make appear by sufficient Testimony upon Oath, and reasons necessarily Conclusive (than which two, I know not amongst men any stronger proof) I hope I shall convince Mr. L'Estrange, or at least, the rest of the World, that I am grossly abused and slandered by him in this Matter.  
First, therefore, be pleased to read the following Affidavit; and withal, Note, that the Person, that made it, is of the Roman Catholic Communion.  

Sarah Billing, wife of Robert Billing, of the Savoy, in the County of Middlesex Goldsmith, maketh Oath; That she this deponent about eight years since, did Board with Mr. Miles Prance Goldsmith, at his house in Princess-street near Covent Garden, for the space of a whole year and upwards. In which time, she this deponent, knows and does well remember, that the said Miles Prance was employed to make an Antependium for the Altar, with steps to the said Altar, at her Majesty's Chapel (then) at Sommerset-house; and she, this deponent did divers times see and observe the several parts of that work, and see the Screws made thereunto, which were of Brass, only on the heads there were silver Plates sodered under. And this deponent saith, that the making of the said Screws of Brass in that manner, was with the knowledge and Consent of the persons concerned; for she, this deponent, did know Mr. Plum and Mr. Coupledyke, who were some of the persons, as she then understood, that employed Mr. Prance above that work, and she hath seen them viewing the said work, and having the said Brass Screws in their presence, looking on them, and heard them discoursing Mr. Prance about the same: They saying, that the said Screws being of Brass, would do as well as if they had been Silver, or words to that very effect and purpose. And also she hath seen Doctor Godden (as she was then told that was his Name) viewing the same: And the Screws were Brass, and that only the fashion, or making, and Silver on the heads of them Reckoned for, was Notorious not only to Mr. Prances Servants and Workmen, but to the Gentlemen before named, and several others or Her Majesty's Servants, who frequently came to view the same, being a very fine and extraordinary piece of work, which (together with her being continually about the house and shop) caused this Deponent to take the more particular notice of, and better to remember the same.  
Sarah Billing.  
Jurat. Coram me  
10 die Aprilis, 1682    

John Frederick.  
The Observator, Numb. 129. undertakes to comment after this manner, upon this Affidavit, and says, the Gentlewoman was imposed upon in the wording (which is a Civil way of telling her, she was perjured) for says he, she declares since, that by seeing the Screws made, she only meant after they were made— Now whether she did ever so declare, I know not, but however if she did, 'tis nothing to the purpose, the question in dispute not being whether she stood by, all the while every one of the Brass Screws were making, nor is it to be imagined she could, since they were made at several times, and perhaps by several hands. But whether I made, or caused them to be made clandestinly, and without the Privacy or Consent of Doctor Godden and his Man Plum, and Mr. Coupledyke, who were the lookers after the Work; or changed them, after they were reckoned for as Silver; now to this she swears positively, that they all saw them, and that she heard Plum and Coupledyke say, those Brass-Screws would do as well as Silver ones. But to take this off, Mr. L'Estrange Observator, Numb. 126, tells the World, That Plum and Coupledyke had drank many a pot of good Ale with me.— And what then Sir? The Excise was paid, and the good Wife that drawed it, had a Licence; and therefore your Worship had nothing to do with it. Ale, especially good Ale, is the old Catholic drink of England, had we Caroused in other Puritanical Liquors, you might have been offended, and cried out with little Doctor Edward's.— There's Heresy in Hopps, give Calvin Beer.  
But without fooling, who can think, but the Observator (who trades much in Hints and Innuendo's) intends by this Reflection to possess his Readers with an Opinion, that this Plum and Coupledyke were Confederates with me in this business of the Screws, so that to support the Scandal, here's two dead men must be exposed as Drunkards and Treacherous Cheats to their Mistress the Queen.  
But says he, they were no Orderers, as I assure you,— Now one would wonder, this Gentleman who vows and swears so bloodily, that he never was at Sommerset-Chappel, since His Majesty's Restauration, should become so intimate with these two Men, as to know what Liquor they loved, and be able to aver so positively, that he can assure us, they were no Orderers— But against ten thousand of his Assurances, I tell him they were Orderers, as well as good Ale-drinkers; for they have several times given me Orders, and brought directions for Work, and particularly about this Antependium.  
Mr. L'Estrange proceeds and says, That she knows nothing, who employed Prance, or that Brass Screws were consented to by the Persons concerned; all which is utterly false. She swears the just contrary, and names in particular Doctor Goddin, Plum, and Coupledyke, and tho' she says, that she then understood Plum and Coupledyke, were SOME of the Persons that employed Prance, 'tis not the least blemish to her Oath; for so they were mediately under Her Majesty and Doctor Godden; and seeing them frequently coming to inquire after the Work, and give directions about, and weigh it, etc. how could she then think otherwise? Yet she says only, that she understood them to be some of the Persons, and presently adds, that she also saw Doctor Godden viewing the same Brass Screws.  
The Observator alleges further, that This Affidavit was drawn from her upon pretence, that she was to be a Witness in a suit at Law, against a Woman that had Scandalised me. To which I answer, 1st. That this is another contrived falsehood, there was no such pretence; 2 lie. 'Tis absurd, for all the World knows, that Affidavits are not allowed in such Suits, where the Witness is living and at hand, able to testify viva voce. And 3 lie. 'Tis impertinent, for had it been so, it concerns not the Truth of what she deposes, whatever use I intent to put it to. And I cannot fathom the Gentleman's reach in this Objection, unless it be to signify, that the Gentlewoman being a Romanist, might needs have such a kindness for him, that she would not have testified the Truth, if she ' had known it would turn to his prejudice and confusion: But if he had any such thoughts, I must do her the Justice as to acquaint the World, he was grossly mistaken; for the Gentlewoman soon after, went to him, the said Mr. L'Estrange, and expostulated with him about the Abuses put upon her in subsequent Observators, and amongst the rest, his affirming that she had been my Servant (which had it been true, had nothing impaired her Evidence) but the same was altogether false, for her Father honestly paid 15 l. a year for her Board, whilst she lay at my House. In which discourse of hers with Mr. L'Estrange, another passage happened, that might give some indications of that Gentleman's Temper: For she rounding him up for broaching such false Stories against me, which tended to the Ruin of my Family: He answered (as she has declared) That he did it on purpose to Ruin me, and wondered that SHE [he understood her to be a Roman Catholic] would appear in the behalf of such a Rascal.  
But besides this full proof on Oath, the Circumstances of these Brass-Screws, undeniably evince the impossibility of any intended Fraud: For first, had I designed any such thing, I must have been a Conjurer, (which I suppose the Observator does not take me for) before I could have effected the Cheat, and cast a Mist before People's Eyes; for besides that, 'tis not pretended these Celebrated Screws were Gilt or Silvered over, but plain, open, visible Brass, only Silver heads to them on the outside; And besides, that they were made abroad by my Workmen; you are to note, that the use of them was (as aforesaid) to fix the Silver Work to the Wood that upheld it, through which they came; and were there made fast with Nuts, and the Antependium being a Movable, only used on Solemn Festivals, and then set aside into the Sacrastry, for which purpose, there were on the backside two large Iron Handles to bear it away by, as often as the same was so removed from the Altar; these Brass Screws were to be seen on that side, as plain as the Iron Handles, or the very Nose on the Observators Face: And I question, whether I owe it not to the Gentleman's forgetfulness, that (when his hand was in) he did not also Charge me with Transubstantiating these Handles into Iron, as well as the Screws into Brass.  
The Gentlewoman, as you have heard, Swears, that the Screws being Brass, was notorious, not only to my Servants and Workmen, but to the Gentlemen before Named, (viz. Doctor Godden, Plum, and Coupledyke) and several other of Her Majesty's Servants— Now, though, in my Confinement in 78, and the Hurry and Confusion of my Family on that Account, I had the unhappiness to lose a Shop-Book, which would more fully have demonstrated it; yet by good Providence, I have one old Book still remaining in my Castody, which enough Corroborates her Testimony; there being entered a Memorial in these Words, viz. For a Brass Screw for the Holy Ghost, [A Figure in the Antependium] 10— 6, that is weighing a Halfpenny weight and six Grains, being the Handwriting of Thomas Evely, than my Servant, and since Porter to his Grace, the late Deceased Duke of Norfolk; and though a Roman Catholic, yet I have that Charity to believe, he will not deny his own Hand, which is ready to be shown for any Gentleman's satisfaction.  
Nor do I doubt to Appeal to Doctor Godden himself, who I hear is still living, tho' he cannot be presumed to have now any kindness for me; yet I so much confide in his Generosity, Veracity, and Morality, as to believe, he would do me Right herein: Nor is it credible, though I know not where that Doctor is, but that the Observator, who could with a wet Finger, bring Certificates from Salamanca in Spain, and has showed his Correspondence at Rouen, and with a Foreign Minister of State about Hubert (legally Executed for Firing London in 66) that he was not Guilty of that flagitious Crime, for which he Suffered, or was a Protestant, or Distracted, could not but as easily have found means to procure a Testimonial from Doctor Godden, had he not despaired of any relief from that Learned Gentleman.  
Let me add to this, That, when after the Antependium had been a considerable time in the Chapel, some of the Nuts were lost; Her Majesty's Servants have brought the Brass-Screws to me, to make and fit new Nuts to them, which I think demonstrates the Brass-ness of the Screws could be no such new thing, as that Monsieur Coquus (the Man the Observator mean) should with such surprise, like a second Archimedes, magnify his Discovery, and cry out— Here's a damnable Cheat, Brass-Screws, etc. As you will find Romanced, Observator 127.  
The Gentleman's talk about Sodering of Brass unto, or upon Silver, and noise of Felony, or a Pillory, is altogether Impertinent here. 'Tis true, to incorporate Brass, or any base Metal with Silver, or to Soder it to Silver, where 'tis not visible, as in the Handle of a Tankard, or the like, is justly Criminal; but to adjoin or affix an Head of Silver open and visible on a Screw or Pin of Brass, or the like; as it carries nothing with it of a Cheat, so neither is it in any way punishable; but daily practised, as in Looking-Glass-Frames, the Hafts of Knives, and a thousand other things,— And so much for Brass-Screws.  
Another matter the Observator would seem willing to have believed, is, That a Tankard which I lost out of my Shop, being brought to me to have some Bruises beat out, was, after I had pretended the same was Stolen, found in my Wife's Trunk. This is likewise absolutely false, and all the proof brought for it, is, The Observator, Numb. 120, says A Person being questioned by me for this Scandal, did upon his Oath declare, my Servant said— I thank God, the Tankard I was suspected for, was found in my Mistress' Trunk, amongst other Plate: Now what Evidence such an Hear-say from an idle Boy amounts to, is left to Consideration.  
The very same Observator acknowledges, that I did in the year 1678, give out Bills of Notice, That this Tankard, marked at bottom R. B. and of such value, was taken out of my Shop; with an offer of Reward to the Discoverer, which is true, and therein was also promised, That if any had bought it, I would reimburse the full value; and in getting these Bills Printed and Published, and otherwise about it, I was out of Pocket above 20 s. Now to what intent I should do this, if indeed the Tankard were not Stolen, is a Riddle: For the Tankard was brought to my Wife at my Shop, by a Servant of the Horse-shoe Tavern in Drury Lane, and so the delivery easy provable; consequently stolen or not stolen, lost or only concealed, I was compellable by Law to make Satisfaction for it; therefore so to hide it up in a Trunk, and yet to be at the Charge aforesaid in Bills, must be Madness as well as Dishonesty.  
But, so far were both I and my Wife from any thoughts of defrauding the People of their Tankard, that nothing was more upon her Mind and Endeavours in the highest Disorder of our Troubles, than to make satisfaction; for, she, having upon my Seizure, removed to one Madam Lees in the Pall-Mall, a Trunk wherein were Eleven Silver Tankards, and amongst them, Two bought of one Mr. Strickling, which were not paid for, and another second-hand one, which I had bought of a Gentlewoman living at a Dancing Masters in Duke-street, my Wife before Madam Lee took out the said second-hand Tankard, and two Tankards unpaid for, telling her, that a Tankard belonging to the aforementioned Tavern, was lately lost at our Shop, and she would not for the World, but it should be made good, and therefore she would allow them this second-hand Tankard for it, tho' it were of better value, and return Mr. Strickling his two Tankards again. But it being very late, Madam Lee persuaded her not to carry them that night, and so the business rested till after I had my liberty, and then I gave the Tavern another Tankard in lieu of theirs, which had been so stolen, and the beforementioned Tankard which had been in my Wife's Trunk, (and which must be the Tankard intended by the Boy, if he did ever talk at such a rate, for all the rest were new ones) I sold to one Mr. where the Owners of the other may easily satisfy themselves, whether it be the same.  
But the Observator, not content with buzzing this senseless Scandal, would insinuate further, as if I made away that Servant of mine; for thus he puts the question— But what became of this Apprentice? And shapes an Answer thus— The report of the Neighbourhood is, That (tho' he was not out of his Apprenticeship) they never heard of him since. 'Tis true, Observator 126, says, this imports no more than that he had left the Neighbourhood, and that by all the other Story, I was not accused of saying a Tankard was stolen, when it was not; But than I pray, to what purpose were these Stories told in Print? Is it not the usual Artifice of a Base and Cowardly Malice, to cast Scandals and Calumnies on those they have a spite against, by sly Hints and Insinuations, sometimes by seeming praise, sometimes by pretended good wishes, sometimes by dark Items, etc. All which wound as deep, and both more certainly, and irremediably, than the most broad faced Aspersions: Thus the same Observator Numb 127, affirms, he has not charged me with changing the Screws. Here I appeal to all serious Readers, if this be not the grossest shuffling and prevarication, for what then is it he would be at? Or to what intent has he amused the World with all this Bustle and Clamour? But I think Mr. L'estranges' Design herein is not unknown: And I am sure I have in my Trade deeply felt (though most causelessly and unjustly) the Effects on't. And I know no Man that can promise himself security from having his Reputation flyblown with the most damnable Scandals, if he happen to fall under the Observators displeasure, and such lewd Practices be suffered to pass with impunity.  
And now to the Old Dog-Story, which as the Observator tells it, runs thus, That I, June 16. 1682, sent to Sam's Coffe-house for Mr. L'Estrange to that Tavern (which he will have to be with a design of some horrid Plot against him) and soon after, he being a Man of foresight, not thinking fit to come, but sending some Friends, I with most Wicked Oaths and Imprecations denied that I sent for him— This he undertakes to prove by the Testimony of three Boys of the Wonder-Tavern; how they were induced to give it, I will not inquire at present, but can prove some of them have since disowned it.  
But the Truth of the matter was thus, I and one Thomas Jennings a Cloth-drawer, a very Honest man, and Ingenious above most of his Quality, but frolicksome, and apt to Droll, went to the Old Dog Tavern, and having seated ourselves in the Kitchen, (no very fit Room for carrying on an Intrigue) Jennings having an occasion to speak with one, whom he thought might be at Sam's Coffee-house, ordered one Thomas Harris a little Boy in the House, (who has since owned himself not to be above 12 years old, tho' Thompson advanced him to 20.) to go thither to Ask for him, and knowing, Mr. L'Estrange frequented that Coffee-house, and what a kindness he had for me, merrily added— If he be not there, Inquire for Mr. L'Estrange and tell him here are one or two would speak with him.— And tho' he spoke it with such an Air of Droll, that it might be easily known to be wholly Jest, nor was it imaginable a person of Mr. L'estranges' figure would on such a slight Invitation, without sending any Name, regard it, yet the Messenger being a raw Boy, not finding the Person he first asked for there, very formally (it seems) dispatched the latter part of his Message, and Mr. L'Estrange being in the Coffee-house, and perhaps understanding from the Lad, I was in the Company, presently after, several Persons came to us from Sam's, and began to quarrel with me for sending for Mr. L'Estrange; which I being wholly innocent of, as earnestly, as justly denied, I having never had the least thought of any such matter; For as I had no Business with the Gentleman, so I had little reason to desire his Company; but that I used any such Oaths and Imprecations is false; And tho' of all mankind the Observator may be the unfittest to upbraid any body with swearing, I shall here subjoin the Affidavit of the said Jennings, who sat close by me during all this time.  
Thomas Jennings, Citizen and Haberdasher of London, maketh Oath, that on Friday the 16 th'. of June Last about ten of the Clock in the Evening, this deponent went with Mr. Miles Prance to the Old-Dog Tavern within Ludgate, and sat down in the Kitchen, with him, and this deponent sent one Thomas Harris (Servant to Mr. Allen, that keeps the said Tavern) to Sam's Coffee-house, to inquire for a friend of this Deponent, that he heard was there, and if he was not there, to inquire for one Mr. Roger L'Estrange, to tell him, there was one or two would speak with him, and some time after there came three or four persons from Sam's Coffee-house, into the aforesaid Kitchen, where Mr. Miles Prance and this Deponent were, and began to quarrel with Mr. Prance, and using provoking words to him, to know his Reason, why he sent for Roger L'Estrange, which he denied he did, but not with such Imprecations, as, by God's wounds, and by God's Blood, and God dam ' me, as this Deponent to the best of his knowledge heard, who was in the same Kitchen with Mr. Miles Prance all the time; this deponent saith further, that he Enquired twice of the aforesaid Thomas Harris (that he sent) whether he ever heard Mr. Miles Prance swear such Oaths, who denied, he ever did, (as I, this deponent can prove by witnesses.)  
Thomas Jennings. Jurat. 8, die Augusti. 1682.   

Coram Job Charlton.  
For further Confirmation hereof, if the Attestation of a dying man may add any weight, this Mr. Jennings, being since dead in May 1683, during his sickness, he voluntarily Endors'd the aforesaid Affidavit with his own hand, which is known to hundreds, (for the man was acquainted with Persons of most Conditions, in this City) and ready to be produced, to any that desire it, in these words.  
March the 7 th'. 1682/3  
ay Thomas Jennings being in a weakly state of Body, not knowing whether I shall live a week, do Attest, all that I have sworn on the other side, before Sir Job Charlton is truth, witness my hand.  
Thomas Jennings. Written in the presence of John Horton. Robert Pimm.  
And on this Issue, I must leave this matter (there's no sense against a Flail) 'tis plain we were in a Tavern Kitching, the Boys say, I sent for Mr. L'Estrange (the most improbable thing in Nature) and then denied it with Oaths. Mr. Jennings swears, that he sent for him, and not I, and on his deathbed Confirms, that he, who sat next to me, heard me not Use such Lewd Oaths, as they pretend, and that the Chief witness disowned it afterwards, which is further probable, in that none of the Persons sent by Mr. L'Estrange, and whom I discoursed, who might sure have taken notice of it, as well as 2 or 3 Ubiquitary Drawers, have appeared to Attest it.— And this I think enough at present for that Business.  
Another thing that Mr. L'Estrange often harps upon, is, That I should Swear he was a Papist, and this he makes to be the ground of his quarrel with me: Now, if I never Swore, nay, never so much as Said any such thing, 'tis then plain, that either Mr. L'Estrange has some other deeper and important design, in his continual Out-cries, and baiting me thus, or else, that he has troubled the World with so many sheets of Railing upon no Provocatiom, and to as little purpose.  
The words of my Affidavit were as follow.  
Mid ss. THe Information of Miles Prance, taken upon Oath, the 25 th' of October, 1680, before the Right Honourable the Earl of Clarendon, and the Earl of Craven, two of His Majesty's Justices of the Peace, for the said County.  
This Deponent saith, That about three years since, he saw Mr. Roger L'Estrange three or four times kneeling at Mass in the Queens-Chappel.  
Miles Prance.  
Here's not one word of his being a Papist, for he might have come out of Curiosity to observe whether the Ceremonies here, were the same with those in other Mass-Houses beyond the Seas, where he acknowledges he has been at that Idolatry forty times, or, it maybe, being a Lover of Music, he came only to hear the delicacy of the Voices; whatever brought him in thither, there he was, let him protest never so much, and write a thousand Observators to the contrary: He says, indeed, I could not say, I saw him receive; 'tis very right; and so I told His Majesty, and the Honourable Lords of the Council; for I saw no such thing, and therefore I Swore to no more than I saw; 'tis the fairer Argument, that what I Swore was Truth.  
But as I never Swore, so neither did I ever Say, he was, or is a Papist; for I must avow, I do not know what Religion the Gentleman has been, is, or may be of, nor whether he have any Religion at all. I Confess, I have seen him sometime since he was questioned about being a Papist, at his Parish-Church, and once met him at the Blessed Sacrament; (to which he came, under such Circumstances as might justly make any sensible man tremble) but I have not met with any of the Parish that can say, That they ever saw him at Sacrament, or Church in times past; though he had lived, I believe, a dozen years before the Discovery of the Popish Plot, in that Parish.  
But it will be objected, There is a Book with my Name to it, and wherein this Affidavit of mine is recited, and the Title, L'Estrange a Papist; The Matter of the Book I own; but that Title was added by the Bookseller; for all the Title I intended was, Depositions and Animadversions upon Roger L'Estrange, Esq; as evidently appears under my Hand, on the lefthand Page of the Title, and in the first Page of the Book, and in several places of the Animadversions, and expressly, fol. 18. in these Words— Whether Mr. L'Estrange be a Papist or no, I will not determine.  
The other Affidavits there mentioned, are as follow.  
Midd. ss. THE Information of Laurence Mowbray, taken upon Oath the 25 th' of October, 1680, Before the Right Honourable the Earl of Clarendon, and the Earl of Craven, two of His Majesty's Justices of the Peace for the said County.  
This Deponent saith, That about the first or second Sunday in June, 77. An Acquaintance of one Anderson (which Anderson was Servant to Mr. Allabon in Grays-Inn) being with him in the Queens-Chappel, saluted, immediately after Mass, a Person, whom he told this Deponent, was Mr. L'Estrange, who Licenced Books. This Deponent saith, that he hath once since seen the said Mr. L'Estrange at Mass in the Queens-Chappel, and saw him to be the same Man he formerly saw there.  
This Affidavit was voluntarily made by Mr. Mowbray, and I knew nothing that be would or could swear it, till he had done it.  
The Information of Richard Fletcher of St. Vedast alias Foster, London, Physician.  
Who saith, That about 3 years ago, he met Roger L'Estrange, Esq at the Half-Moon Tavern in Cheapside, about Licensing a Book Entitled, The Works of Geber, an Arabian Prince, and Philosopher, and gave Mr. L'Estrange a Guiney for his Licence; and a Discourse happening about Religion; Mr. L'Estrange asked, of what Religion this Informant was? Who answered, A Catholic L'Estrange Replied; Are you a Roman Catholic? This Informant answered, That was Nonsense; Catholic being Universal, and not to be Circumscribed. Then L'Estrange bid this Informant explain himself. I answered, That Faith, that wrought the Fear of God and to do Righteously, doth declare those that are of the Catholic Church, which I take to be the Church of England. Mr. L'Estrange then declared himself to be a Catholic of Rome, and to believe the Faith of that Church, and told this Informant, that his Definition was too large. This Informant then asked the said L'Estrange, Whether the Pope were the Head of that Church, of which he acknowledged himself a Member? Who answered, He was, and hoped e'er long, many others would return to that Church, or to that effect, and further saith not.  
This Mr. Fletcher was to me altogether a Stranger, nor can I imagine, why he should come in to Testify such a thing, if it were not true; but for my own part 'tis plain, I swore no such matter, as that Mr. L'Estrange was a Papist, nor will I trouble myself about it; at his own everlasting Peril be it.  
There is yet another Scandal brought, Observator, Numb. 226, with this Title— Prance Cures the Kings-Evil; where he tells a Story, That I, offering a Woman a Pint of Wine, should tell her, she had the Evil, and Swore by G— I had Cured several Families myself of that said Evil, by the great Faith I have in the King, that I could do any thing at Court, and that if she had ever a Neighbour she would oblige, I would see it done. And then should say to her, Come, prithee let me struck thee a little, etc. Now suppose it had been true, that I had played the Fool to talk at this rate, yet I conceive, it would not have been absolutely necessary to the preservation either of Church or State, that Mr. L'Estrange should take the pains to Print it. But the whole Truth was thus, I and my Wife and some Neighbours being at the Horse-shoe, a Woman that was also a near Neighbour, happening to come in, I asked her to drink, she began to complain to my Wife, how she was troubled with the Evil; I advised her to be touched by his sacred Majesty, which she said had been done, I replied, than I doubted you have not Faith, but for my own part, I verily believe, that thousands by that means have received Cure, and thereupon told her, how once an acquaintance of mine, that was of a contrary Opinion, and had argued against me, as if there were nothing in it, but conceit; it pleased God soon after to visit Him, his Wife, and Child, all with the same Disease; then he was willing to apply himself to His Majesty's healing Hands, and I was an instrument to facilitate their access, and they were all three in a very short time after Cured, which Relation is a known Truth, and the Parties still living to justify it. Therefore I told the Woman she should have Faith; this was all that passed (my Wife and several others being all the while there.) There was no swearing, no boasting, that I had Cured several Families myself, or that I would do any thing at Court, nay, nor no Kissing, nor no stroking in the case; so that here are at least five notorious Lies all on a heap in one Column, and yet the Challenges the World to instance his mistakes in 470 Papers. But it may be, the Informer was to blame; for a dull Tool of a Razor-maker happening to be in Company, tho' he drank most of the White Wine called for by the Woman, yet refusing to pay his Club, was taxed for spunging, who, in revenge, 'tis like, ran to Mr. L'Estrange with a Tale, and added as much as his sorry invention could furnish, and the Man of Observations the rest.  
Now, who can but blush, to see a Gentleman of his Parts and Figure, a man of the Age of threescore and ten or thereabouts, if not upward, a Person that besides Quevedo and Politics, has read Seneca's Morals and Cardinal Bona, to see, I say, such an one spending the last minutes of his Life in blowing of Soap bubbles, in exercises more Childish, but only somewhat more mischievous than Taw and Span-farthing; and in making himself a Common Packhorse to bring to Town two or three times a Week in Form and Method the idle Tales of every malicious Coxcomb, and in Printing Stories that carry neither Truth nor Salt with them, but would be a Disgrace to the very Conversation of a Gossipping.  
And now, I thought, as in pag. 35. I had done, and that the Screws, the Tankard, and the Old Dog-Story, etc. had been competently accounted for, and the first Volume of the Observators enough explained, as far as I am materially concerned; for, as my protestation was before receiving of the Holy and Blessed Sacrament, (which I here again most solemnly avow to be in all points true) I think it not necessary to repeat any thing further, since all that the Observator has replied thereunto, will appear to every considerate Reader, altogether shame and prevarication. And as I am not at leisure to play the fool with the Observator, merely for Company, so I should lose by the Game, he getting Money (and perhaps Love and Credit with some people) for abusing of me; whereas I must defend myself wholly at my own Charge, and have no small difficulty to get a few Innocent Sheets printed, such is the dread of his Name, whilst he, besides the Elemosynary Guinyes in abundance, makes a Revenue weekly, by flirting out Papers filled (amongst other things, with which I meddle not) which most egregious Scandals upon me, designed for the Ruin of myself and my Family.  
But still here's new Matter, an Observator of the Second Volume attacques me— I find I am to be made a continual Subject of Mr. L'Estrange's Wit and Malice, an everlasting Incom to Madam Broom and her Author; And as a pleasant Lady defied her Gallant to frame a Letter; barring him only the use of half a score Modish-Words [As Flames, Divinity, Passion, Stars, Darts, etc.] so I scarce know, whether it be possible for Mr. L'Estrange in his present mood, to Compose an Observator without mention of, or some squint-Reflection upon Oats or Prance.  
But let us review the Paper, and I think the fairest way will be, to Transcribe it, and only add a few Notes.—.  
Vol. 2. The Observator. Numb. 8.  
With the leave of Mr. Claxton the Fanatical Tailor in Exeter Court. This is Miles Prance's Observator?  
This is the Contents of the Chapter, after a new Fashion; the Parade to the Prize. The dreadful hundred-handed Giant of High-Holbourn, armed with more Quills than a Porcupine, is setting himself in Battle Array against the Tailor of Exeter Court, and resolved to confound a man of Fashion. Behold how Indignation sparkles at his Eyes, like a Turkey-cocks at the sight of a Red Herring, How Grim Wrath, more fierce than a Schoolmaster's, sits upon his storming Brow, and he breathes nothing but Fire and Tow, Then, woe to the Knight of the Thimble and all his Host?  

Fly Claxton! Fly, the Observator comes,  
Beating his Printers Balls for Kettledrums,  
And mounts at thee the Dead-doing Gun from Brome's.   
Why, Fanatical Tailor? The man I believe will be found as much a Churchman as Mr. L'Estrange— But he must and shall be a Fanatic, for as you'll hear presently, he was such an impudent Heretic, as to talk against Transubstantiation, even over against Sommerset-House-stairs.  Trim. 
Don't you know one Mr. Claxton, a Tailor in Exeter Court yonder by Exeter Exchange.  Observ. 
Yes, yes.—  
[Hold, I am afraid this is a Whisker, for I believe, the Observator knows Claxton no more than the Pope of Rome— but let's go on]— A great Crony of Miles Prance [no more his Crony, than the little Bodies-Maker, that carried this idle Tale, is to Mr. L'Estrange, whom he then affirmed to have seen but the day before] They were at the Grecian Coffee-house together, upon Saturday last, in Catherine-street against Sommerset-House-stairs, [very true] and they went afterwards to hudson's Coffee-house in Drury Lane [right again; for I love to acknowledge all the Truths I find in an Observator, they are so Rare.]  Trim. 
I heard 'em upon a discourse of Transubstantiation, [I told you why he branded the Honest Man for a Fanatic] one would not think, that Two plain Fellows should talk so shrewdly about Religion. [Your Worship must excuse me; for since I left the Roman Church, I have read the Bible, whereby I find not only Transubstantiation to be a mere Fiction, but also that backbiting and slandering are very grievous sins, and without Repentance damnable. Let me beg of you to read that Good Book, which, if well heeded, will profit you more than all your Collected Guinneys.]  Observ. 
Oh! There's no body understands the Transubstantiating (as a body may say) [pray observe by this Parentheses, how tender the Gentleman is, lest he should profane that accursed word, which has been the occasion of destroying above a Million of Bodies, and God knows how many Millions of Souls] of Silver into Brass, better than Prance. [This Scandal is already Answered] And then Claxton's Old Dog at the light within. But I'm afraid Prance's Religion will never carry him to Heaven; for he's almost always so damnable Drunk, that the narrow way will hardly hold him. [As to my being almost always Drunk, 'tis only an Observatorism●, that is, a Scandal without proof or pretence; not that I will Phar●saically excuse myself from a Vice which in this Age is grown almost Epidemical, and not to take up one's Cups freely, is enough to brand one with the Title of a Fanatic. And those that shall peruse the Observators Writings, shall find him elsewhere Apologizing for such Debauchees; but as to my own Gild or Innocence this way, I appeal to my Neighbours and those I conversed with for five years past; in the mean time I doubt not but the Christian Reader will be astonished to find Mr. L'Estrange whilst he's charging me with Drunkenness, at the same time wallowing himself in Profaneness, by such an unseemly and irreverent abuse in scurrilous Drollery of the words of our blessed Saviour— strait is the Gate, and narrow is the Way, etc.]  Trim. 
Come, come, keep a good Tongue in your Head, [good advice, but I am afraid the Observator will never observe it] For Mr. Claxton I can tell ye is a rising man, Come to me at 8 a Clock to morrow morning, says Mr. Prance, (on Sunday that is) and thou shalt take measure of my Wife, my Daughter, and my Cousin; Miles Prance says it, and thou shalt have my Custom, Claxton, [this is Mr. Observators Dream, I never talked of Wife, or Cousin, or my Custom, only I might perhaps bid the man come one Morning, and take measure of my Daughter, that being the only business I had with him; but since the Observator is become so great a Zealot for the strict observation of the Sabbath, I being a plain Fellow, and he so great a Casuist, would gladly be resolved, which is the greatest Sin— Suffering a Tailor to take Measure at 8 a Clock, (and so before Divine Service) on a Sunday, or employing (and upon the matter enforcing) a Printer to work the greatest part of that Sacred Day? And as to my own keeping thereof, I dare appeal to the Reverend Doctor Sharp (in whose Parish both I and Mr. L'Estrange dwell, and whose worthy pains in the Ministry, I can never enough acknowledge, and to the rest of that Parish, which of the two, Mr. L'Estrange or I have most constantly frequented Divine Service, or been oftenest at receiving the Holy Communion there?— But let us go on with the Observator.]— This was mighty kindly taken, let me tell ye, and if Mr. Prance goes on with a certain business this Term; Mr. Claxton will stand by him as far as 100 l. goes, for his Civility.  Observ. 
And what may that Business be?  Trim. 
He's resolved to try a touch with you about the Scandal of the Screws, you'd give an Hundred Guinneys Composition for it, with all your heart, he says, [This is still the dreams of the Observator, he first Charges Claxton with Champerty and Maintenaire, Crimes highly punishable by our Laws, and then Avers, that I should say, He (that is, the Observator) would give mea 100 Guinneys Composition. 'Tis most true, I believe that his Papers (I mean wherein I am Concerned) are most justly Indictable for Libels, and besides the Author answerable on an Action of Scandal, but that I then threatened it, or had any discourse tending that way, is false; what if formerly, I declined suing him on Advice, of a good old Proverb, or what if I still have a mind, to be revenged on him by forgiving him, the Gentleman is not to prescribe to me, either the time or measures, I shall take for Righting myself.  Observ. 
Yes, yes, I heard as much, [from whom I beseech you?] and that he had a Guinney for an Halter for me, ['twas ill husbandry, a Twopenny one, would serve as well] And so Prance and Claxton took their Turns at the Ribaldry, [and you and your Spies were nobly employed, to make Observators on't,] while a splay-faced Animal that was there, made at third man, and gave a wry-mouth,- Amen to't: (This latter Clause may serve as an Index of Mr. L'estranges' Conscience, Respect to Truth, Honesty, and Common Civility, since therein with an Unmannerly Bussconry, bestows the Language of his oft Cited Authors; Western Bargemen, upon a Gentleman of as comely a Person, as good Quality (setting Commission aside) and I believe, I may say, as fair an Estate as himself, so over credulous he is to Reports, and so rash, in stinging abroad his Squibbs and Scandals in Print, without the least Colour of Truth, any appearance of Reason, or pretence of Provocation: For the truth of this matter was thus, Claxton and I did go into the Grecian Coffeehouse, and sat Chatting there for some time, two strange Gentlemen in the Room, being officiously informed, (as I understand) of my Name, did, it seems, Eavesdrop our talk, and at last Removed to us, and began to quarrel with me, about Mr. L'Estrange, alleging that I should say, I would give a Guinney for an Halter for him: Tho'l do not know, nor to the best of my Remembrance, believe, that I said any such thing; hereupon words being mutually Bandied, and another matter (of which by and by) falling into debate, the Gentlemen grew so furious, that one of them threatened to Cane me, and I observing, he had never a Cane, and unwilling a Gentleman should lose his Humour, Civilly proffered him mine, but he was not pleased to make use on't, and so Claxton and I went out of the House, as soon after the said two persons also did. And tho' they were, and are altogether Strangers, to both of us, yet by their Garb and Mien, I take them still to be Gentlemen, and consequently, do not believe, they were the Observators Mercuries, but rather think that the little dapper Boddice-maker, (who possibly had no better Employment,) might be the Observators Intelligencer, only this is to be Noted, that whilst the two unknown, were Railing and Upbraiding me, with several stories, which I suppose, they had taken up, merely on the Credit of an Observator, there happening to be in the Room, by Chance, one Squire Penny, (and who was, if he still be not a Roman Catholic) he was Generously pleased, to stand up, and say to this Effect— gentlemans I have known Mr. Prance for 20 years and above, and never knew, or heard that ever he wronged Man, Woman, or Child: For his late Actions, I have nothing to say, I pity him; merely for which Civil Attestation of truth, from a Gentleman, that had known me from my youth, Mr. Observator falls foul upon him with the slovenly Epithets of Splay-faced, Wry-mouthed, etc. Now if this be sufferable, I know not any Gentleman that can be safe from being exposed at the like, or a worse rate in Print, if he do not quickly Fee the Observator with a Present.  
But Mr. Observator, that feigns so many things as said there which were not, omits one matter which was the chief subject of our Debate; which was, whether Mr. L'Estrange did not hand the Paper, Entitled THE LORD PETRE's LETTER, to the Press (which no doubt his Informers told him of, as well as the rest, and I believe 'twas that put him into such an heat, tho' he prudently declines to mention it) for I did tell the Gentlemen, that I heard, and doubted not to prove, that Mr. Braddil in Bartholomew Close, who Printed the Letter, had declared that Mr. L'Estrange brought or sent the same to him to be Printed, but withal gave him instructions not to Print his (the said Mr. Braddils) name to it: Now if this should happen to be true, that Mr. L'Estrange was the occasion of publishing that Paper, wherein all our worthy Protestant-Writers, (and amongst them, the most Learned KING JAMES, and the Right Reverend the present Bishop of Lincoln) who have charged the Church of Rome with holding and teaching the Doctrine of Deposing and taking up Arms against, and Murdering of Heretical Kings, are traduced as false Accusers, and therein to have been Malicious and Ignorant; Nay, a Paper which on the same score flies in the Face of the whole Church of England, and directly gives her the Lie, who for many years in her Public Established Liturgy, avowed the Faith of the Church of Rome to be Faction, and her Religion Rebellion. I would demand of Mr. L'Estrange, or any of his Guinney-givers, whether the causing of such a Paper to be published, be to be numbered amongst the Good-services he has done for the Church of England.  
In the mean time, go on.  
But faith, Trimmer! [remember Mr. L'Estrange is a severe Magistrate against swearing] when Prance ' s hand is in, he should do well to go through with his Work; and I'll give ye now a piece of History that is New to ye, [and yet this New-By-blow is of such a Ricketty feeble Constitution, that it has been four years crawling in the dark, before it could waddle abroad in the standing stool of an Observator] and puts down forty of his Antependiums. [Some lies, 'tis acknowledged are heavier than others] For 'twere a thousand pities that a man that is so willing, should want Materials.  Trim. 
We shall have some tedious Tale now, but pray will you make it as short as the matter will permit. And without any Jesustical Equivocations, Shifts, or mental Reservations. [This Trimmer, I find, is an honest foresighted Fellow, he knows, this sly Gray-bearded youth the Observator, is much given to tell mere Tales, and long ones, seasoned for Fools-Palates, to make them to go merrily down, with Jesustical Sauce.]  Observ. 
Why, then be it known to all men, That Miles Prance Silver-Smith, Screws and Nails-maker, Sacrament-protester, Old Dog Blasphemer, and Evidence for the cutting of the Duke of York ' s Picture. [Thes shows you the Rhetoric of an Observator; only as to the last words, 'tis fit to acquaint the Reader, that some time after the grand insolence committed in cutting the Picture of His Royal Highness in Guild-Hall, I being in company with several others, there happened to come in, one John Brooks formerly (if not still) a Papist, who in discourse owned and avowed more than once, That he cut the said Picture; now I appeal to all the World, what I could do less in respect of the Public, and His Royal Highness my Sovereign's Brother, than to take notice of it, that the matter on a fair legal Trial might be further examined and discussed? Accordingly I and another person present, gave Information thereof (viz. that such an one had to said and acknowledged) and thereupon Brooks was bound over, and I and the other person attended at Sessions to Evidence his Words, and a third Witness present, was ready to have deposed the Words, if it had proceeded to a Trial. But when we desired an Indictment to be drawn, could not procure it. And so the matter was passed, tho' the party accused did not (as far as I could understand) deny the Words, but only pretended he was drunk when he spoke them. Upon which whole matter, whether I did any thing unbecoming a Loyal Subject, tender of the honour of the Royal Family, is left to Consideration.] Go on, Did, in February 1679, accuse Mr. Richard Fincham of being a Priest [he means Popish] which said Mr. Fincham was taken into the Custody of a Messenger upon that Information. [Hear are several falsities; I did not accuse Mr. Richard Fincham of being a Priest, nor secondly, was he taken on my Information; but as he was apprehended upon suspicion, so I was examined whether I knew him? and what account I could give of him?] brought before the Council to answer the Charge, and Mr. Miles Prance Silver-Smith there present to make good his Information, The Council asked him how became to know Mr. Fincham to be a Priest, The Silver-Smith did there upon his Oath declare; That John Fincham the Brother of the said Richard told him so; upon this the Earl of Essex demanded of what Religion and what sort of man the said John Fincham was? Prance replied, that he was a good Church of England- man, and a very honest Gentleman, and a Justice of Peace in the Isle of Ely, whereupon she said Richard Fincham was continued in Custody.  
[This is a whole scheme of of untruths twisted up, and, to unravel it, I must rightly state the matter of Fact; The Question before the Council was, whether Richard Fincham was a Popish Priest? And I was examined to it, and tho' with a common-knowledge grounded on the most violent presumptions, I did not question but he was so, as having made him a Chalice and other Priestly Utensils, and knew he was generally reputed amongst Catholics to be my Lady Savils Priest, tho' passing (as 'tis common) under the notion of her Steward, yet, not being able positively to swear him to be a Priest, because I had never been present, when he officiated the Mass, I was so justly tender in a Case, where a man's Life was concerned, that I only deposed as to my belief grounded on hear-say, and that his Brother acknowledged it to me, which is most true, and if the Gentleman have a bad memory, I cannot help it.  
And being hereupon interrogated by some of the Honourable Lords (that it was by the Earl of Essex may be true, but do not remember it) touching the said Brother Mr. John Fincham, I answered, That he was a Justice of Peace in the Isle of Ely; and 'tis possible I might add, a very honest Gentleman, as far as I knew. But whereas the Observator averrs, that I then deposed he was a Good Church of England-man; (though for aught I know, or ever said, he may be so) yet that I then swore it, is false; for how should I assert such a thing, that never had an opportunity to see him in a Protestant Church in my life? And besides, it thwarts that Evidence which I then truly gave, (and which I should not, but upon this provocation recite) for my own Vindication (not to cast any Scandal on the Gentleman) according to the Copy, as it was taken and delivered to me soon after I was examined by one of the Sub-Clarks, belonging to the Honourable Board, viz. That not long before the Plot was Discovered, I went to one Mrs. Halls in Eagle-Court, about some business to Mr. Jeremy Jennings a Priest belonging to Mr. Ramsey, living near Norwich, where I met with Mr. Fincham, a Justice of the Peace for the life of Ely, and one Mr. Poulton, a Jesuit, and some others, (whom I knew to be Priests though I knew not their Names) after Mr. Fincham was gone, I asked Mr. Jennings, what he came thither for, and how he durst trust himself with him, being a Justice of the Peace. Pough said he) he is acquainted with many Priests in that Country, as their Friend, and will do us no harm, but what good he can, being a Catholic in his Heart, and will show himself so, if the times turn, but now cannot in respect of his Place; yet, says he, he does us all the kindness he can. Then speaking to Mrs. Hall, the Landlady of the House, thereof, she replied, He comes often hither, when he is in Town.  
But whether Mr. John Fincham knew these Persons, that he then was there in company with, to be Popish Priests, or whether, what they said of him were true, I know not, they being Men of Intrigue, who often love to cast Scandals on the most Zealous Protestants, to render them suspected; all the intent I recite for, is to show how improbable it was, that, at the same time I swore this, I should also swear (as Mr. Observator says) the same Gentleman to be a good Church of England- man; though still, as aforesaid, for aught I know, or ever said, he may be such. My acquaintance with Mr. Richard Fincham was very intimate; for besides the work I had done for him, I have yet several Letters of his by me (though more or less) which I am ready to show his Brother, or any Gentleman that desires it, Dated from Red-Hall in Yorkshire, Subscribed— Your Friend, Servant, and Countryman, Richard Fincham, and the like obliging Terms, and particularly one Dated January 25, 77▪ whereby having ordered me the Receipt of some Money, he has these words— I have by the bearer hereof (a Protestant Gentleman, and Neighbour of mine) sent you, etc. Which Parenthesis, Protestant Gentleman, will, I think, to any unbiased understanding, signify no less than an Item given me, that I should not take notice to him, of the Writers being a a Priest, or to call him Father Fincham, as amongst Roman Catholics is usual, and without such Precaution I might have done: Now this Gentleman that paid me the Money, was, as I understand, a Justice of Peace near Leeds, though I have forgot his Name; if he be still living, he cannot but remember it. In a word, whether Mr. Richard Fincham be a Popish Priest or no, if Mr. L'Estrange (that seems so intimate with the Family) will be pleased to tell the World his Lodgings at present; 'tis odds, but something more may be said.  
In the interim, here his Apologist, the Observator, Mr. Richard Fincham immediately upon this proceeding, gave his Brother John Fincham an account of what had passed, by the very next Post, Who applied himself forthwith, upon the receipt of the Letter, to Francis Bell Esq (a Justice of the Peace in the said Isle) before whom, he swore this following Affidavit.  
John Fincham of Outwell, within the Isle of Ely and County of Cambridge Esquire, did upon the 5th of March, 1678, make this following Affidavit before Francis Bell, Esq one of his Majesty's Justices of the Peace of the said Isle  
That whereas the said John Fincham, is informed that one Mr. Prance hath lately declared upon Oath, to the Lords of His Majesty's most Honourable Privy-Council, that he the said Mr. Prance was told by the said John Fincham, that Mr. Richard Fincham, his Brother was a Priest. He this Deponent doth Swear and Aver, that the same is wholly false and untrue; and that he is, and hath been so far from ever saying so, that he doth depose, he doth not know any such thing, as his Brothers being a Priest; nor did he ever know the said Mr. Prance, or to his knowledge, ever see him in his whole life. This Affidavit being sent up to the Lord Chancellor, the King and Council thereupon ordered Mr. Fincham's Discharge.  
As to this Affidavit of Mr. Richard Fincham's, as far as it contradicts mine, I avow mine still to be true, and if I am not misinformed, by the Civil Law at least, a Domestic Witness, that is, one so near related, is scarce allowable, or at least lies under suspicions— but leaving that, I shall only remark, That the Gentleman swears, he doth not KNOW any such thing as his Brother's being a Priest, which signifies no more than that he did not see him take Orders; now can it be imagined, (especially at such a juncture as that was) but the Gentleman, had he not believed his Brother to be a Priest, would have added— nor believes him so to be, or some such words?  
Note also, that the Observator says, what I deposed was in February 79. And this Affidavit of Mr. John Fincham's, he dates March the 5 th'. 1678, (almost a whole year before) which would intimate, that Mr. John Fincham swore prophetically, or by way of prevention. But the Observator Numb. 10. having recollected himself, pretends 'twas a mistake for want of a fraction; and if it were so, I believe it was the first Affidavit in England, that e'er was Dated with such a Fraction, as 1678/9, but since he is pleased to lay the blame on the Sot of a Compositor, as young Princes in Schools are whipped by Proxy, and perhaps old Authors have the like privilege; let it pass.  
But whereas Mr. John Fincham Swears he never knew Prance (to his knowledge, or saw him in his life. I must remember that Gentleman, besides my being in his Company at Mrs. Hall's aforementioned, and elsewhere in London, I once went to his House, at the Request of his Brother, the Goldsmith, then living in the Strand, to see a Child of his there, and was Civilly entertained by Mr. John Fincham, and did eat and drink there: and another time before that, he procured me a place at the Court holden at Wisbitch, to hear the Trials and Proceedings there, where I stood just behind his back, as he sat on the Bench.  Trimmer. 
Well-And here's one Oath against tother. [Ay, and let the Readers impartially Impanell'd give their Verdicts.]  Observator. 
Patience, I prithee, in August 1679, Prance being in the Isle of Ely, and finding that his Credit was sunk from Silver to Brass, by the confounding a Deposition of Mr. John Fincham [of which Prance never heard word or syllable, till in this Observator, January 26, 1683.] he burst out presently into Invectives against the said John Fincham, and said, he was a Papist, and that he had a Priest in's House, and that he had sometimes 4 or 5 Priests and Jesuits; and that he had seen him in the Company of as many in London: All which he was ready to prove: And these words were made out by the Informations of two Gentlemen of the Neighbourhood, as they were taken before Francis Bell and Thomas Edward's, Esquires, Justices of the Peace within the said Isle, on the 11 th' and 12 th' of August, 1679.  
The Information of Edward Squire Gent. Chief Constable of the North part of the Hundred of Witchford, taken before us Francis Bell and Thomas Edward's, Esquires, Justices of the Peace within the Isle of Ely, etc. August 11: 1679.  
This Informant saith, That on Friday the 8th Instant, he happened in the Company of one Miles Prance, where discoursing about the next Election to be of Parliament-men, Prance was very earnest for the Choosing of one Mr. Partherich, for Knight of the Shire for Cambridg-shire, declaring that he was a fit Man for that purpose: And presently after he began to discourse of one Mr. Fincham, a Justice of the Peace, and said that he would prove him a Papist, and that he hath a Priest now in his House, and sometimes he hath four or five; and that he the said Prance had seen the said Mr. Fincham in the Company of as many Priests and Jesuits in London; and told this Informant, that he wondered, the Justices of the Peace should be so much Fools, or had so little wit, as to make him, this Informant, Chief Constable; and said he would have most of the Gentlemen in the Country up, with several other Reflecting and Scandalous Discourses upon, as well the said Mr. Fincham, as the Gentlemen in the Country.  
Edward Squire.  
The Information of William Gent, of March, taken ut Supra, August 12, 1679.  
This Informant saith, that upon Friday at Night, the 8th of this instant August, one Mr. Miles Prance, and another person, to this Deponent unknown, came into the Company of him, this Deponent. He, this Deponent, having then some Neighbours in Company with him, at the House of one William Phillipson, in March aforesaid; and after some familiar Discourse had passed, between him, the said Mr. Prance, and this Deponent, the said Mr. Prance being very intimately acquainted with him, this Deponent, he, the said Mr. Prance, did ask this Deponent, where one Mr. Fincham was? To which this Deponent answered, He liveth very near me in the Country; and thereupon he, this Deponent; did tell him, it was reported, that he should say he was a Papist; to which Mr. Prance replied, He was a Papist, and he would justify him to be a Papist; and he believed that he had a Priest at his House at that time; and that he knew him to have been in the Company of four or five Jesuits at a time: And the said Mr. Prance did also give other reproachful Speeches, which he, this Deponent, did not take any particular notice of.  
Francis Bell. Thomas Edward's. William Gent.  
As to all this, I desire the Reader to observe, 1st. That these Information 〈◊〉 not said to be sworn to, and truly for the Persons sake concerned, I hope they are not upon Oath. 2 lie. The two Informers (like the two Witnesses in the Story of Susanna) do not much agree. Mr. Squire says, that Prance was very earnest for choosing of one Mr. Partherich for Knight of the Shire for Cambridge-shire, declaring that he was a fit man for that purpose. Now, Mr. Gent (who was present all the time of our Cotloquy) says nothing of that, and so far is it from Truth, that I do protest I do not know, nor never saw that Mr. Partherich, here mentioned, in my whole Life. And tho' possibly I might then have had some pretence to have concerned myself in the Election of Parliament-men for that County, yet, I appeal to all the Inhabitants, whether ever I endeavoured to move any one of them (except only this worthy Squire, if he say true) to give their Votes for Mr. Partherich or any other person whatsoever? For indeed, I living elsewhere, never thought it fit to concern myself with any such matters. 2 lie. Mr. Squire says, I said, Mr. Justice hath a Priest now in his House, but Mr. Gent says. I said— I believed he had a Priest at his House at that time. Now he that forgot so much, and took no particular notice of our talk, as he says, might possibly misremember all the rest. 3 lie. Mr. Gent says, I asked him, where one Mr. Fincham was? To which the Deponent answered, he liveth very near in the Country; a likely business! as if I, that was born within five miles of Mr. Justice Fincham, and have been so frequently in that Country, I, that was so well acquainted with Richard Fincham, so intimate with his Brother the Goldsmith, and with another Brother of theirs the Seaman, I that have visited their near Relation, Fincham in Wisbitch-Goal, besides my familiarity with the Justice in London, at his House at Well, etc. should yet be such an Ignoramus to ask the advice of this small Lawyer, where (forsooth) one Mr. Fincham was, and receive for answer, as News— That he lived near in the Country— Let all Mankind judge of the probability of such an Information.  
Fourthly, Mr. Squires own words (as here Printed, for if either of the Gentlemen are wronged, they must seek satisfaction from their Over-officious friend the Observator) I say by his own words it appears, there was a feud and something of Malice in the Case; for at the same time, he charges me (tho' falsely) with saying, That I wondered the Justices of Peace should be so much Fools, or had so little Wit, as to make him Chief Constable. And I might add, that Mr. Gent, the other Informer (as they are here styled) was not likely to be Guilty of any good will to me; retaining so this day a Bond of mine, about the surrender of some Land, the Condition whereof is satisfied, and the whole Story of which I am not willing to tyre the Reader with, unless further provoked.  
These Remarks being premised, I shall next subjoin the Truth of the matter of Fact, not in my own words, but attested by the Person that was then with me, viz. Mr. Pask, a Citizen of London, one well known to be far from any suspicion of Disloyalty, who immediately after this bustle happened at March, did with his own hand, write down and deliver to me this following Attestation, viz.  
Memorandum, On the 8 th' day of August 1679. Mr. Miles Prance and myself were at the Whiteheart Inn in March, ask for Mr. Gent, The Landlord answered, he was in the House, Mr. Prance went to the Company's Room, desired leave, if not business, where he was received seemingly in kindness, and also desired me to walk in: Where presently Mr. Squire and Mr. Harrison asked him, if he was come to choose Esq Partherich Parliament-Man, intimating he was a dissaffected Person, and not fit to be chose. Mr. Prance made answer to Mr. Harrison he was an Ass, for to tell him such a thing, and he was not to acquaint him, what he came about. Mr. Squire and Mr. Harrison made answer, that Prance was a Rogue, and Esq Patherich a Fanatic Rogue, so was all that stood for him. They abused Mr. Prance with the Language of Rogue, a fellow not to be trusted, a murdering Rogue, and what he had said was all false, bid him make haste home, and give the King Confession.  
But further, most true it is, that this Mr. Squire, and one Mr. Harrison, did not only use ill Language to me, but pursued me to one Mrs. Walsomes House, threatened to knock me o'th' head, and throw me into the River, and afterwards offered to Assault me in my Lodging, so that Mr. Pask was forced to draw his Sword to keep them down. For which I did, as justly I might, tell them I would call them to an account, which it seems, he is pleased to express by the Phrase; That I would have most of the Gentlemen in the Country up. But whether this Titular Squire and Mr. Harrison the Tape-seller be Gentlemen, or most of the Gentlemen of the Country, I leave to the Heralds. This is certain, I had sought Reparations from the Rioters for the abuse, had not Squire Williamson interceded, alleging they were in Drink, and so I civilly passed it by, and never heard more of that matter, till now I found the gentlemen's Information in Print— Le's go on, the Observator next brings to light two other Papers, in these words.  You shall now have Two Certificates of August the 12th, 1679, in Justification of M. John Fincham. 
WE whose Names are hereunto subscribed, do humbly Certify, That we have known John Fincham, of Outwell, in the Isle of Ely, and County of Cambridge, Esq by the space of twenty years, during all which time, we have had a frequent Converse with him, as being our Neighbour, and of whom we have observed a constant and dutiful Compliance with the Commands of the Church of England, of which we do believe him to be a true member.  
August 12. 1679. Francis Bell. Thomas Edward's.  
THis is Humbly to Certify, That I John Leigh, Clerk, have been Rector of the Parish Church of Outwell, in the County of Norfolk, by the space of 27 years; all which time, I have had a personal knowledge of John Fincham, Esq and with whom, being one of my Parishioners, I have had, both in Health and Sickness, very particular Converse. And in all my Conversation with him, I have ever observed him to bear a great regard to the Commands of the Church of England. Of which Church I do with great Reason believe him to be a true and obedient Son.  
August 12, 1679. John Leigh.  
I question not the Truth of these Certificates; for neither do I know, nor ever said (with the leave of the Observator, and his Informers, be it spoken) that Justice Fincham was a Papist (and yet had I no value for an Oath (as the Observator pretends) I might as readily have Sworn that, and that I saw him at Mass; for Mass was frequently said in Mrs. Hall's House; but I did never see him so concerned, and therefore only deposed what I knew, and what I saw and heard) therefore I again Repeat it, that I never knew, or said the Gentleman was a Papist or Roman Catholic, or that 4 or 5, or any Romish Priests were in his House. But this I will say, That I conceive these Certificates might have been better worded in favour of the Gentleman, than only by these Terms of his, Compliance with, and Regard to the Commands of the Church of England, since it would have done well (especially at such a Juncture as that was) to have likewise expressed his Zeal in and for the Doctrines of our Church, and to have Certified his Active diligence in Discountenancing and Suppressing Papists, etc.  Trimmer. 
And now we have done I hope. [Better never have begun.]  Observator. 
Within a Trifle, Trimmer, July 13. 1681, It happened. That Prance and another with him, came into the House of one Greenwood in the Isle, where John Fincham, Henry Oxburgh, and Edm. Williamson, Esquires, were in Company: Mr. Williamson having told Mr. Fincham, which of the two was Prance; Mr. Fincham upon this, fell to talk with Prance at a distance, of his being in the Country, about two years before, which he owned. And he told him of a Neighbour of his▪ one Mr. Fincham, that complained of very ill Language he had given him. But Prance denied it, and desired much to know how the Story went: So Mr. Fincham up and told France the whole Business, according to the Informations; who Swore heartily, 'twas no such matter, and that he never spoke an ill word of Mr. Fineham, but knew him to be a Protestant and a worthy man. This passed in a great deal of Company: But Prances Eyes are as bad by Daylight, as Oats are by Candle-light; and he knew Mr. Fincham no more than the Man in the Moon, till at last Mr. Fincham himself brought the Silver-Smith to a better unstanding.  
I am apt to think Mr. Fincham will Con the Observator no thanks for this Paragraph, for sure the whole Town of March, who were almost all Alarmed with this Accident, have not quite forgot it. However for their sakes, and the Justices, and my own, I must set the Story right.  
'Tis most true, that about the time mentioned, I and another or two happened to come to Greenwoods' House, being an Inn, where several Gentlemen, and amongst them, Mr. Justice Fincham, were (as I afterwards understood) about taking Horse to Ride away, but Mr. Fincham having, as I believe, some design to expose me, after they saw me come in, they stayed, and Squire Williamson, who was one of the Gentlemen, came out, and invited me into their Room; I excused myself at first, as being weary with my Journey, but at last consented, when I and my Company came in, there were several Gentlemen in the Room, and some that I did not know. Presently some of them began to ask me what News? I told them, I seldom much minded any News, but my own business, and besides had been several days out of London, and so could tell them nothing, but what I believed they had already heard, than one of them asked me, if I knew Justice Fincham? To which I answered, yes, I do, and presently looking amongst the Company (for I was but newly come into the Room) I saw the Justice leaning on a Bench or Couch, with his Mounteer-Cap placed in an odd unusual fashion, viz. the corners not forwards and backwards, but cross his Head, sideways, looking in that posture somewhat like a Country Morrice-dancer, with a Cushion on his Head; but for all that I knew his Worship well enough, and addressing myself to him with the respect becoming me, said— Mr. Fincham, your humble Servant. At which all the Company fell a laughing, (and his Worships being deceived in thinking I should not know him in that posture, became soon after a frequent talk in the Town.) And then, and not till then, Mr. Fincham did speak, (for before I was come into the Room he had not uttered a word, much less asked such questions, and had such discourse with me as the Observator pretends) but then indeed he did say, that he never saw mebefore in his life, that he knew of, nor never told me that his Brother was a Priest. But as I then to his face justified the latter, so as to the first, I gave him some tokens to refresh his memory, as my coming to his House to see his Brother's Son, and his particular Entertainment of me there. But he spoke not a word about my calling him Papist, nor was there any the least mention of these Informations, nor any swearing heartily or unheartily, as the Observator suggests. And I believe Squire Williamson will do me the right to justify this to be in substance the truth of all that then past between us; and there were also present two other Persons, who will be ready to attest it. Now since Mr. L'Estrange has the Conscience so grossly to pervert and falsify a matter thus Notorious, what esteem his Writings in other Cases (as relateing to me I mean, for I meddle no further) may deserve, let the World judge.  
In his Observator Numb. 10. of the 2 d. Volumn he has some touches at me, and reckons up several Affidavits of mine, and says, they took no effect, yes Sir, they took all the effect I desired, which was only to acquaint the Magistrates with the Truth of what they examined me about, as far as I knew and no further; and the tenderness I used, strongly argues the candour and sincerity of my Evidence, no way casts any disparagement upon it; if the Law in some Cases require two Witnesses, and for want thereof, some, I justly accused, were released, or if perhaps others were not prosecuted, what is that to me. The Author of the late Paper, pretending to be a Reply to the Observations on the Lord Petre's Letter, argues the veracity of the late Evidence, because so many that they accused are at liberty; Mr. L'Estrange for the very same reason, would render mine unworthy of belief. These two Authors should best consult together and reconcile themselves.  
But I fear I have wearied the Reader as well as myself, in taking so much notice of, and detecting the malice, the falsities, the shams and idle Tales, which the Observator has invented, or picked up and spread about me; which of themselves sufficiently appear to every judicious Eye to be mere Calumnies and the effects of a cankered spleen. However to undeceive all the World, if they are not resolved to believe his Fictions, in defiance both of Truth and Reason, I have once for all, taken this pains, resolving never to trouble myself further with the noise he shall make about them; henceforth he may talk his pleasure, I shall take no more notice on't, than to hear a Serpent Hiss, or an Ass Bray. Only I desire all Persons to bind up this my Answer and Defence with their Observators, and that as oft as Mr. L'Estrange shall repeat the same Stories (for he has much of the Cuckoo in him, and sings an hundred times over the same Note) they would be so just, as to turn as often to these Papers, where I doubt not, but every impartial peruser, will find a sufficient Answer thereunto.  
And so I take leave of Mr. L'Estrange, who being an Ancient Gentleman, and by the Course of Nature on the brink of the Grave; I wish, he would better regulate his Conduct, and not spend his precious time, and abuse those Great Parts, God has given him, in such trifling, false, mischievous and scandalous Stories against a Neighbour, a Parishioner, and a Member of the same Protestant Church (if he be really what he professes:) who, as I never wronged him; so I am ready, on his acknowledgement, heartily to forgive him all these injuries: And pray God to give him the Grace to Repent, before he be called to that dreadful Tribunal, before which we must both shortly appear.  
Miles Prance.  
FINIS.