A Woman Pope (as History doth tell)  
In High Procession She in Labour fell,  
And was Delivered of a Bastard Son;  
Thence Rome some call The Whore of Babylon.    depiction of the Whore of Babylon   

A Present for a Papist: OR THE LIFE and DEATH OF POPE JOAN Plainly Proving Out of the Printed Copies, and Manuscripts of Popish Writers and others, that a Woman called JOAN, was really POPE of ROME;  
And was there Delivered of a Bastard Son in the open Street, as She went in Solemn Procession.  
By a LOVER of TRUTH, Denying Human Infallibility.  
LONDON, Printed for T.D. and are to be sold at the Ship in St. Marry Axe, and by most Booksellers, 1675.   

The PREFACE.  
THe Author of this following Treatise is many years since deceased; a great Lover of Truth, and one who had been highly preferred in the Church of Rome, could he have dispensed with her Sons profitable Sin of lying and equivocation. In his time he was looked upon as a man of a very acute Wit, a great Virtuose, yet of a meek and modest temper, one who valued Truth so much, and the World so little, that all that knew him, could do no less than approve and applaud his writings before they read them; and truly, as to the confirmation of his assertion, proving that there was a Woman called Joan, who was Pope of Rome, he needed not the use of Lying, since he had so great a cloud of Witnesses to manifest the Verity of the Story, and not a Protestant among them, but all eminent Pontificial Writers, (Propugnacula Romanae Ecclesiae) whose Volumes he laboriously read over, and hath quoted them faithfully, in which quotations you will find none of the meanest of the Sons of the Romish Church have acknowledged, that there was a Woman Pope, and several to this day, to their own shame and confusion, must confess the truth of this Story.  
The Book was first published in the year 1602, Dialogue wise, between a Protestant and a Papist, wherein all the arguments that can be produced to prove the nullity of a Pope Joan, are fully and plainly answered; but the Book proving exceeding scarce; and the Reprinting thereof much desired, I have taken the pains to alter the method only, but not the matter, and the only addition (in a manner) is Pope joan's life translated, as it is briefly described by B. Platina in his lives of the Popes; and indeed, all who have writ of her, have done it in so few words, that you must not expect the tithe of this Lady Errants Story in this small Volume; not but that I am apt to believe that a Woman of such eminent learning and excellent parts, wherewith she was endued, must perform many memorable actions in the World, besides what were contained in her lascivious Ramble with her lusty Gallant to the City of Athens, and from thence to Rome, in which place she behaved herself in all respects, in masculine apparel, like a learned and a Holy Man, till female frailty disgraced her Papal Dignity with a Bastard, of which she was shamefully delivered in the open street, as she was going in Procession, and both ignominiously died instantly thereon.  
Our Author hath given no very large account of her Life, supposing a full Relation would take up more Paper than learned Tostatus his Works, who hath troubled the World with two sheets for each day in his Life. But I conceive he writ this (as one wittily observes) to undeceive such as took Rome for the model of the Heavenly Jerusalem, and the Pope and Cardinals, for the Mayor and Aldermen of the Corporation. The proofs herein alleged for the Vindication of this Story, seem so apparently undeniable, that not only I, but many more of good credit, are clearly persuaded there was such a Woman. If matters then have gone thus at Rome, (the people there having been most intolerably abused, not only by this Female Pope, Donna Olympia, Sister in Law and overruling Miss to Pope Innocent the Tenth, and others of the like Masculine Gender) what hopes of infallibility? Let Children and Fools be pleased with Baubles, I hope the more rational sort of men will not be imposed on, and exempt the Pope from the determination in the Text, Every man i● encompassed about with Infirmities. He that believes the contrary, to his peril let him do it, and to the obstinate, who shall persist in this folly, I shall only say, Si Populus vult decipi decipiatur. He that will be an Ass may; I wish all good Christians to have a care of being such credulous Coxcombs, and so  
Farewell   

A Present for a Papist: OR THE LIFE and DEATH OF POPE JOAN, etc.  
JOhn English or Pope Joan, as you may read in Platina's Lives of the Popes, was born at a place called Mentz in Germany, who concealing her Sex in a Masculine habit, being a young Woman, travelled with a man of singular Learning to Athens, whom she infinitely loved for the excellency of his parts, having sufficient ingenuity to qualify her for a judge in that particular. Such was her desire of knowledge, that for some time she wholly banished her thoughts from every thing that had the least appearance of what was sensual, and applying herself solely to her study, in a little time she so improved herself in all Arts and Sciences, by conversing with the Learned of those times, with the assistance of her no less Learned Companion, that in Philosophy she had few Equals, and a while after coming to Rome, in Theology she had as few Superiors. By her indefatigable reading and acute disputing, she soon obtained so much good will and Credit amongst all sorts of Persons, that she was not only cried up for a great Wit, but a man of unimitable holiness and piety, and this vogue ran so uncontrollably general among the wiser sort, that Leo the Fourth deceasing, by the consent of all, as Martinus saith, she was chosen Pope. Being hardly warm in her Papal Seat, her Piety gave place to her Lechery, insomuch, that admitting either her learned Fellow-traveller, or one of her menials, as some imagine, into her lose embraces, she conceived with Child, and as she grew bigger and bigger, every day produced new inventions to conceal her inpregnation, so suptly contrived, that this growing infamy was known to none but him that was the cause thereof: but mischief on't, not dreaming that her time approached so near, as she was going from the Vatican to St. John Lateran's in Procession, between Nero's Colossuses and St. Clement's, she fell in Travel, and was Delivered of a Son, and died in that very Place, having sat as Pope two years one month and four days, and was buried without the least honour and solemnity.  
Jacobus Bergomensis differs little in opinion from the aforesaid relation, a Man whom Trithemius (Lib. de Ecclesiasticis Scriptoribus) applauds for being well read in Scripture, a famous Historiographer, and one that was witty, eloquent, and of a good life and Conversation, and therefore we may dare credit such a Person, who says, 
a Supplement Chron. lib. 11. ad Anno 858. Impres. Venetiis. An. 1486.  Johannes Septimus Papa, natione Anglicus post Leonem Pontisicem, Pontifex factus sedit, An. 2. Mens. 5. Hunc tradunt fuisse faeminam, etc. John the VII. by Country English, was created Pope after, next after Leo, and sat two years five Months; they say this was a Woman, and that she went very young out of England to Athens with a learned man that was in Love with her, and that thereby, hearing good Professors, she profitted so much, that coming to Rome, she had few like her in Divinity. Whereupon by her Reading, Disputing, Preaching, and Praying, she got herself so much favour, that upon Leo his death, she was Chosen Pope in his Room, (as many men say by common consent; but see the luck of it, a while after, she was got with Child by one of her acquaintance, and was delivered thereof in the time of her Papacy; for going from the Vatican to St. John Lateran's in Procession, between the Colossuses and St. Clement's,  she was ware, Childbirth Pangs seized her  she was ware, and was delivered in the High-street without the help of any Midwife, but she died presently, and was buried without the least solemnity in the same place, with her Bantling lying by her. Now in detestation of so foul a fact, and for the continuing the memory of so lude an action, the Popes to this day, when they go in Procession, to show their dislike to the place of her Travel, which was in the midst of her way, forsaking it, do turn into by-lanes, and by-streets, till they have left that on their backs, and then returning into the same street again, they go forward with their Procession. And for avoiding the like mischief for the future, it was decreed: that none should be consecrated Pope, before the youngest Cardinal Deacon had tried by touching, (whilst the Person to be consecrated sat on a Close-stool) that he was a man.  
I am not ignorant how incredulous this story appears to the Romanists, and how fabulous and ridiculous some have endeavoured to render it by their sophistry and forgery, which shameful practices we need not wonder at, if we consider how customary it is for them to avow manifest untruths, and deny known truths, especially if they produce any advantage to the vanity of their Popish persuasion; all which is as easy to prove, as to object against them; which though it may be demonstrated by divers particulars, viz. By Parsons and Bishops, denying that they call the Pope their Lord God: by Beauties denying that any Jesuit had any hand in the Gunpowder Treason: by their general denying that Pope Honorius the first was an Heritick, etc. Yet most apparently their impudence appears, in denying the report of a Joan that was a quondam Pope of Rome; which I shall endeavour to prove by a Cloud of witnesses, not any of our own Brethren, but the sons of the Romish Church, which purposely I have done for the greater confirmation of my arguments; for as Novatian says, de Trinitate firmum est genus probationis quod etiam ab Adversario sumiter, ut veritas etiam ab inimicis veritatis probetur; that is a strong proof which is wrung out of the adversary, when the enemies of truth are driven to bare witness unto the truth. And as 
b Vives de Instrument. probabilitatis.  another, Amici contra amicum et inimici pro inimico invincibile testimonium est. Which sounds thus as I conceive; the testimony of a Papist against a Papist, and the testimony of a Papist for a Protestant, is without exception. If I have given an impartial and true account of this Joan, the Woman Pope, manifestly proving there was such a Person who sat in the Papacy, and died therein with infamy, against the surmises and objections made to the contrary, by Robert Bellarmin and Caeser Baronius Cardinals, Onuphrius Harding, Saunders, Cope, Genebrard, Bernartius, Florimondus, Papirius, Maso, Parsons, etc. I would then have the Romanist lay aside all prejudice, and bare Witness with me, if he can bring more solid arguments to the contrary, I am ready to be convinced, being content to learn of him if he can better inform my judgement, as 
c Lib. 2. Retract. cap. 18.  St. Augustin did of Tychonius the Heretic. To conclude my proaemium with all sincerity, I profess, that though it may be gathered out of Campian a Tiburn-martyr, and the Papists Champion, that they believe one Heaven cannot hold them and Protestants; though 
d Fieri nequit ut Lutheranus, Jehennam, evadat, ex externis ignibus eripiatur. Si mentior damner ipse cum Lucifero, saith Costerus, Resp. ad Refutat. Lucae Osiandri Proposit. 8. pag. ult.  Costeras wish strangely that he may be damned with the Devil to all Eternity if any of us be saved; yet their uncharitableness and cruelty towards us from time to time extended causelessly shall work no such effect in me, but on the contrary, I wish them well, and shall constantly pray for the welfare of their Souls; that they may have eyes to see the truth, and ingenuity to acknowledge it.  
Give me leave now to come to the Proof of this famous History of Pope Joan, and by the way, methinks I hear some opinionative obstinate Romanist say that the whole story of Pope Joan is a fond, vain, and mere fable, a ridiculous fiction, and so known to the more learned sort of Protestants among you, but that you will not leave deluding the world with it for want of other matter; besides, there are so many improbabilities and moral impossibilities in this Tale; as no man of any mean judgement, discretion, or common sense will give credit thereto; but will easily see the vanity thereof. In a word, I say 
e Impudentissimè ficta, stultissimè credita. Fernartius de utilitate legendae hist. lib. 2. p. 105.  he was a Knave that invented it, and he is a Fool that believeth it, especially if he compares it with what is written on the same subject by Buchingerus in Germani, by Charanza in Spain, by Onuphrius, Bellarmin, and Baronius in Italy, by Tarianus, and Bernartius in Belgia, by Pontacus in Aquitania, by Genebrard and Papyrius, Massonus in France, by Saunders, Cope, Harding, Father Parsons, and others which were English men.  
To all those particulars, and what else hath been objected, to prove the nullity of this History, I shall endeavour to answer and refute as mildly as the subject will permit, and first, did it not pass for currant, sans contradiction, till within somewhat more than a Century of years, viz. Till the year 1566. That Onuphrius the Friar began to boggle at it; he was the first that ever by reason endeavoured to discredit the report of it, and yet confesseth that many worthy men as well as vulgar, believed it for a truth: Multos & magni nominis viros historiam hanc suscipere eam quoque vulgo verum existimary. Besides, it is to be found in Marianus Scotus, in Sigibert, in Gotefridus Viterbiensis, in Johannes de Parisiis, in Martinus Polonius, in Petrarch, in Boccace, in Ramulsius Cestrensis, in Johannes Lucidus, in Alphonsus e Carthagena, in Theodoricus de Niem, in Chalcocondilas, in Platina, in Palmerius, in Nauclerus, in Sabellicus, in Trithemius, in Voleteranus, in Bergomensis, in Schedel, in Laziardus, in Fulgosus, in Textor, in Gassarus, in Mantuan, in Crantius, in Caranza, with many more of the Papish faction; some Grecians, some Italians, Spaniards, French, Germans, Polonians, Scots, English, and yet not one of them a Lutheran. If these Authors added no weight to the verity of this History, yet methinks her Image might, which is set up among the rest of the Images of the Popes in the famous Church of Sienna in Italy, and is to be seen there at this day; which the Bishop of that place would not suffer to be defaced at the last repairing of that Church, though the Jesuits did urge him much to do it. Moreover, was there not made of old for fear of such like cheats and abuses a stool of easement, on which Popes were set at their inauguration, for proof of their humanity? was their not a Marble Image fet up as a Monument thereof, in the place where she Miscarried, viz. In one of the chiefest streets in Rome, which Monument was likewise to be seen within this few years, no longer ago than in the time of Pius the fifth. Lastly, is it not written by men of their own persuasion, that all Popes when they go in Procession, refuse to go through that street in detestation of that fact, but go further about. To this the Romanists do answer, it is not so much in detestation of any such supposed fact that they leave the strait and nearer way to the Lateran Church, but because that street is Augusta & anfractuosa, a narrow winding street, and in that respect unfit for so great a Train as ordinary accompanies the Pope to pass orderly through, as Onuphrius, Bellarmin, and Remondus have observed. But if it be true what Philippus Bergomensis hath registered, this observation is false, 
f In Supplement Chron. ad Annum 158.  eo omisso (saith he) speaking of the Pope's turning out of that place of the street wherein Madam Joan was delivered without the benefit of a warm Bed, Midwife, Nurse, or Caudles to comfort her, Declinat ad diverticula vicosque, et sic loco detestabili postergato reintrantes, iter perficiunt quod caeperunt: that is, leaving the way, they turn into by-lanes and by-streets, and as soon as they are beyond that detestable place, they turn into their way again, and so go on to the perfecting their Procession. Now, if upon their leaving that street, they enter into by-lanes, etc. And having past that ominous place, they turn in again; the reason why they leave that street cannot be because it is narrow and winding in and out, for doubtless those by-lanes are as narrow. And by their turning out and returning into the same way again, they wind as often in and out as if they went along through the same street, though it were very crooked. In confirmation whereof 
g De vitis Pontif. in vita Johan. 8.  Platina, who knew Rome very well, and was desirous enough to cover the Pope's nakedness herein, as much as he could with any honesty, confesseth that this is probable enough.  
As to the Marble Image erected in perpetuam rei memoriam 
h Lib. de privilegiis & juribus Imperii.  Theodoricus de Niem, who was formerly a Secretary to a Pope, says adhuc vetus Statua marmorea illic posita figurative monstrat hoc factum, unto this day an old marble Image errected in that place, sheweth the matter under a figure. Now observe what a slender evasion the Romanists make use of, in acknowledging there was such a Statue but resembled not in the least a Woman lying In, nor was the Boy engraved by her like a Child in Swadling-Clouts, but like one of some years.  
This exception is to little purpose, for that age was an ignorant, illiterate, witless age, and therefore perhaps had no more Skill in Graving, Carving, and Painting, than they had, whom Aelian mentions, who were forced to write over or under their Pictures, Hic est Bos; ille Equus; haec Arbour; this is a Bull, this an Horse, and this a Tree; that men might know what creature it was they Painted Aeneas Silvius pointing to a more ingenious time than that of Pope Joan, condemns the Painters and Carvers thereof for notorious bungling Butchers, saying thus, If we could take a view of graved or painted Images made two or three hundred years ago, you would find them pourtraed not like men, but Monsters and hobgobblins; such an artist probably had the handling of Pope joan's statue; however as ill framed as it was, Pius Quintus thought it as it stood, that it discovered more than he willingly would have known, and therefore removed it and cast it into the River Tiber, not because it disgraced the street, but, ut memoriam illius aboleret, that he might extinguish the memory of that shameful action, and this is not only witnessed by Travellers, that were in Rome, but by Elias 
i Hist. a Jesuitici Ordinis cap. 10. de Jesuitarum Patre & Matre.  Hassenmuller formerly a member of the fiery order of Jesuits.  
Bellarmin in lib. de Rom. Pontif. will not allow of this Stool of easement; for says he, of a stool of easement to try the Pope's Sex, there is no where any mention; Onuphrius averring that it is but a mere toy, and an idle conceit of idle people; yet Philippus Bergomensis, a man of great learning and esteem in his time, (as Trithemius attests) records it as an undeniable truth, that there was such a thing; for upon mention made of Pope joan's story, Ad evitandos similes errores statutum fuit (saith he) ne quis de caetero in B. Petri collocaretur sede priusquam per perforatam sedem futuri Pontificis genitalia ab ultimo Diacono Cardinale attractarentur: for avoiding like error for the future it was decreed that no man should be held for Pope, till the youngest Cardinal Deacon had found by trial, while he sat upon a stool of easement, that he was a man; which is likewise testified by 
k De rebus Turcicis lib. 6. pag. 98.  Laonicus Chalcho condilas; for upon relation of that story he thus proceeds, Qua propter ne decipiantur iterum sed rem cognoscant neque ambigent Pontificis creati virilia tangunt & qui tangit acclamat: Mas nobis Dominus est: that is, lest they should be deceived again, they make proof of the Pope's manhood by feeling, and he that feel-makes it known by crying our Lord and Master is a Man. And Sabellinus writing the same matter, says, There is to be seen at this day in the Pope's Palace a Marble Chair wherein the new Pope presently upon his election is set down, that as he sits, the lowest Deacon may make trial of his humanity by touching or feeling.  
As much may be read in William Brewin, who lived in the year 1470. for in Capella Salvatoris (saith he) In the Chapel of our Saviour, there are two or more Marble Chairs with holes in them, wherein in (as I heard) there they make proof whether the Pope be a man or no.  
The Romanists confess there is such a Chair, but never intended for the use afore recited; for (say they) he sits not therein in a corner, but in the great Church of St. John Lateran, where a vast concourse of People come to see him; where he is attended by the whole College of Cardinals, with many Ambassadors of Kings and Princes; whereas a closer place was fit for that Purpose, and they might more conveniently have made trial of his humanity in the conclave, wherein he was chosen, and so they did it seems; for presently upon their electing of him, before they proclaimed him Pope, they sat him in a Chair in their Conclave, as you may read in the book of holy Ceremonies, dedicated to Leo the tenth, whereby you may see how idly 
m Lib. 3. de Rom. Pont. cap. 24.  Bellarmin, talks (if I may be so bold to speak so of so great a Cardinal) who taking upon him to clear the Point, never speaks of his sitting in the chair in the Conclave, but only of his sitting in other Chairs at St. John Lateran's, as though he had been chaired only Publicly, and not in private, and that he himself had said sufficiently to the Point in question, by proving, that in Public there was no such conclusion tried with the Pope; whereas the conclusion was tried in secret. Now, should you ask the question of any of them to what end does he set in such a Chair in Public, I warrant you the reply will be, that thereby he may be put in mind, that he is not God but Man: in as much as he stands in need of a Close-stool as well as others; so says Florimondus: and indeed I think he hath need to be put in mind thereof. For though some Papists deny it shamefully, 
n N. D. in his Warnword to Sir. Fr. Hastings encounter, cap. 2. fol. 30.  yet there have been popish Parasites, who have in plain terms called the Pope (as St. Thomas termed Christ, Joh. 20.28.) their Lord, and God; and there are still such, who give him such titles as are due to God alone, and rob God of some part of his power, to bestow it on him. See Stapleton princip. fid. doctrine praefect. ad Greg. 13. Plane supremum in terris numen.  
But methinks they should not need to have set him in such a Chair, to such a purpose, for his own necessity would have compelled him to set himself thereon ordinarily every day; and his Chamber-pot would have served to put him in mind of his humanity sufficiently: thus Autigonus the elder (as 
o Part. 2. Moral. lib. de Iside & Osiride.  Plutarch relates) was convinced that he was a Man and not a God. Besides, methinks they should not have intended such a Mystery by such a Ceremony, because they set him therein before he was in his Pontificalibus: for till he be Mitred, till he be Crowned, till he have received the Keys, whereby is denoted his power to bind and lose; and a Rod whereby is signified his power to punish; I say I should think there should be no fear of forgetting himself. Again, had it not been better think you, if they had aimed at any such mark, to have caused a Boy to come every morning unto the Pope's Chamber door (after the example of Philip King of Macedon) who should have whoopt him out of his bed, and bid him remember that he was mortal.  
And now see how industrious the Romanists are, by endeavouring to obliterate, or remove what ever may assist the continuance of the memory of this Pope Joan; for as Pius Quintus threw into Tiber her marble Image which stood in the street where she was delivered, so by Clement the eight, by the persuasion of Cardinal Baronius, her Image in the Church of Sienna is defaced; now if the present Pope will but burn all the books too, which are writ of Pope Joan, all evidences than would be totally lost, it would be easily for them then to prove that there never was such a Pontificial Woman. I but (says the Papist) what if her Image had stood still, is there any sense, that because of such a portraiture we are therefore bound to believe there was such a Pope; if we believe Painters, and Carvers we should make find work indeed; and so we shall indeed if we believe their Painters, and Carvers. For we find the Trinity painted by them in the likeness of a Man with three faces: sometimes like a Man with two heads having a Dove between them; both which fashions of painting the Trinity is monstrous in 
p Lib. 2. de Imag. cap. 8.  Beauties' opinion. We find our Saviour Christ painted with long hair, as though he had been a Nazarite by vow, which conceit is controlled by 
q For Nazarites must drink no Wine Numb. 6.3. yet our Saviour did, Mat. 11.19. and 26, 29.  Holy writ. We find him set on a Weathercock on the top of the Temple of Jerusalem, as though the Temple had aspire-steeple like ours, which is false. We find the Virgin Mary treading on the Serpent's head, which the Scriptures foretold Christ himself should do. We find her richly apparelled in a Gown of wrought gold, whereas, questionless her habit was very mean and ordinary; and with a pair of beads in her hand; whereas a thousand years after Christ, beads were not used throughout the world. Besides, their Painters recommend unto us a Saint on horseback, whom they call George, and another on foot, as big as a Giant, whom they call Christopher, and a She-Saint broken on the wheel, whom they call Catharine, and a fourth drawn in pieces by horses, nicknamed Hippolytus: whereas in all antiquity there is no mention made of any such Saints. Thus you see we have no reason barely to believe painting and carving, but if Book-proof, or Tradition concur with them, we may give some credit to them. 
p Lib. 2. de Rom. Pont. cap. 11.  Bellarmin himself is of the opinion, that there can be no error in substance, as long as (besides book-proof) there are Monuments of Stone or of Brass for the proof of any ancient report: thus if he speak the words of truth the truth is with us; for, besides Monuments of Stone, we have the Testimonies of many authentic Writers: amongst whom, Charanza a Spaniard, who, Florimondus says, disproved the story of Pope Joan before he undertook the task himself; but he belies him; for these are his words, 
t In Sum. Conc. p. 370. Edit. Paris, 1564.  Johannes 8. Papa 105. sub Petro sedit An. 2 Mens. Dies 4. de hoc ferunt, quod malis artibus Pontificatum adeptus est, quoniam cum esset faemina, sexum mentitus est; et postea à servo compressa, doloribus circumventa, mortua est: in English thus; John the eight Pope. 105. Pope from St. Peter, sat 2 years 1 month 4 days. They report of this Person that he got the Papacy by evil means, because he feigned himself to be a man, whereas in truth he was a Woman, who being afterwards begot with child by one of her servants, fell in travel and died therein.  
z. Krantius, who is recommended by Pontanus for a famous Historiographer, and one that writ before Luther's times, and is therefore the less to be suspected for partiality, says thus, Johannes Anglicus ex Maguntia mulier, mentita sexum, etc. John English, 
Mitrop. l. 2. Edit. Colon. 1574. & Francof. 1590.  a Woman of Mentz, dissembled her Sex, and being of a quick wit, and voluble tongue, and one that could talk Scholastically, she won the hearts of all men, so that she arrived to the dignity of Pope, no Man knowing any other but that she was a Man, save one of her Servants, who afterwards got her with Child: they say she was delivered near the Colossuses, before she had sat too years complete.  
Mantuan, who is commended by Trithemius for an excellent Theologist, a knowing Philosopher, and a famous Poet, the only man in all Italy in his time, hath this story in his description of Hell, and describing what manner of Persons were there, saith he.  

Hic pendebat adhuc sexum mentita virilem  
Faemina, cui triplici Phrygiam diademate, mitram  
Extollebat apex & pontificalis adulter.  
Here hangs a Woman, once who past for man,  
Who trucked for Breeches, Petticoats, and Fan.  
By her great parts she gained, with much renown,  
The Phrygian Mitre, with the triple Crown.  
Here hangs that Lecher too, by whom 'tis said  
The Woman Pope did lose her Maidenhead,  
And in the Street ' thou't Midwife brought to bed.   
Achilles Gassarus in his Epitome of all Histories, and Chronicles, collected out of the best Historigraphers, writs thus 
u Achilles Gassarus, in Epit. Hist. etc. Antwerp 1536.  John the eight, by Country English, by calling a Pope, yet by Sex a Woman, sat shamefully as Pope two years and six Months.  
Ravisius Textor, in his Officina writs thus; Scitum ex Chronicis, & à Majoribus Scriptum Johannem Anglicum ab Ephebis sexum verilem simulasse, et tandem fato nescio quo, aut Fortuna certè volente, ad pontificatum pervenisse, in quo Annos circiter duos sederit post Leonem quartum, neque prius innotuerit facti veritas, quam à quodam ex domesticis impregnata, tandem emiserit partum; It is a thing well known by the Chronicles, and written by our Ancestors, that John English, from her youth upward deported herself in every respect like a man, and at length, by I know not what destiny, certainly by very great fortune she became Pope, and sat about two years after Leo the fourth and no body know this fallasie and deceit till she was with Child by one of her menial Servants, 
a De dictis factisque memorabilibus lib. 8. cap. 3 Tit. de faeminis quae doctrinâ excel.  and delivered thereof: and Fulgosus, who was a noble, and learned man, and sometimes Duke of Genua affirms the same story for a truth, saying, that John the eight was at length detected to be a Woman.  
Laziardus is of the same opinion; so is Hartmannus Schedel a Doctor of Physic, yet not ignorant of holy Scriptures, nor atheistically inclined, as it is bewailably common for such so to be, yet by Florimondus he is accused for being one of the brood of the Hussites, and lived in Nurimberge when that City was infected with Husses heresy, and therefore would fain persuade his party that no credit is to be given him, because whatever he writ concerning the Popedom of Joan the Woman was partial. In answèr to this, I rather believe Florimondus to be one of the brood of abominable Liars; for Hartmannus Schedel, born in Nurimberg, was 
b Ego Hart. Schedel, Doctor Patavinus, etc. circa Anno 1440. f. 252.  student in Milan, where he was created Doctor of Physic by the great Matthiolus, and he was so far from Husses opinion, that in the same book quoted in the Margin he hath inserted one whole Chapter about the heresy of the Hussites, and their original. 
z Anthropologia lib. 22. pag. 503. edit. Basil. 1556.  Volateran, an Historiographer of good note, makes no doubt of the reality of this story; and Trithemius Abbot of St. Martin's Monastery in Spanheim, a reverend, well read, and very learned man writes thus, In the same year that Pope Leo died, John English succeeded for two years and five months. Now some say she was a Woman, and that she was known so to be but to one only, who was her servant, by whom at length she was begot with Child, and thereof delivered in the open street. For this cause some would not reckon her among the number of Popes, disliking this villainous action: with whom, in matter of fact, corresponds Sabellicus, a man 
a Sabellicus vir undecunque; doctissimus claret hodiè apud venetos maximo in pretio. Trithemius lib. de Script. Eccles.  of great esteem in Venice, yea the most famous in his time for all manner of learning; of whose books, Pius the Third professed he valued as much, as Alexander did Homer's Iliads.  
Wernerus Roleunick, who is reckoned by Paulus Langius among the most famous of the Order of Carthusians, and commended by Trithemius for a man of profound learning, and singular devotion, in confirmation of what is aforesaid, writes thus: 
b Fasciculus Temp. aetate 6. ad annum 854.  This John, by Surname, English, by his Country, of Mentz, is reported to have sat as Pope about this time; and she was a woman, but went in man's apparel. She profited so well in Divinity, that she had no fellow, and so was chosen to be Pope; But after a while, being great with Child, as she went in public Procession, she was delivered thereof, and died. And this seems to be the Sixth Pope to this day, which was called Holy and proved naught: And therefore he was plagued by God, as the rest before him were plagued, Neither is she in the Register of Popes. Hence some say, because she was a German, a German is not permitted to be elected Pope, but this is manifestly false; for since, several Germains have been advanced unto the Popedom.  
Mattheus Palmerius, an 
c Trithemius de Script. Ecclesiast.  Italian, and one of the choicest men which were at the Council kept by Eugenius, the 4. against the Council of Brasil; Pontifex 106. Johannes Anglicus (saith he) sedit An. 2. Mens. 3. fama est hunc Johannem foeminam fuisse, et uni soli familiari cognitam, qui eam complexus est, et gravis facta peperit Papa existens; quamobrem inter Pontifices non numerant quidam, ideo nomini numerum non facit; that is John was a woman, yet not known so to be, but to one of her familiars, who lay with her, she was delivered in the time of her Papacy, and because some reckon her not among the Popes, there are no more john's for her, than if she had never been. The account that B. Platina gives of this Learned Whore, (or as Mr. Fox calls her the Whore of Babylon) is contradicted by some, and supposed to be never written by the Author aforesaid, but foisted in, so Bernartius conjectures; and to confirm his groundless supposition (saith he) 
d Bernartius de utilitate Legendae, hist. lib. 2. p. 111.  Antonius Hetweeld, a man of good report, and Alderman of Louvain told me, that one Engelbertus Boonius, a reverend  Dean had often times told him, that he had seen many ancient Manuscripts of Platina in the Zatican at Rome, and pursued them diligently, and yet found not any mention made of this Pope Joan.  
Surely this reverend Dean had the luck on't, to light on such ancient Manuscripts, as the Alderman of Louvain informed Bernartius of, but how comes it about, that neither Onuphrius, Platina's Commentator, Bellarmin, nor Baronius, who have had as free access into the Vatican Library, as any, could never light on these Manuscripts as well as he? And how comes it that none since Bernartius thought good to except in that manner against Platina, the acknowledgement of those too Pillars of the Romish Church, Bellarmin and Baronius, with Onuphrius, that this Story is originally in Platina induceth me to believe, that, either Bernartius, belied the Alderman, or the Alderman belied the reverend Dean, or the Dean made a Fool of the Alderman, and made the other so too by consequence: for questionless had there been any such Manuscripts, some of them would have found them out, and made them public to wipe off that infamy they more than barely stand suspected of. For they are glad of narrower Fig-tree-leaves to cover their Nakedness withal, than such Manuscripts, could they be produced.  
Now since it is evident, that Platina did write the life of this Lady Errand Joan, who coming from Athens became at Rome a teeming Pope, the Romanists have endeavoured to find another hole to creep out at, denying that he writ by public authority, and did not take his History out of the public Registers of the Church. The belief hereof is an error, and a gross one too; for 
e Prooemio lib. de Vitis Pontif. in Epistola ad Zistum. 4.  Platina himself professeth, that he writ by the command of Sixtus the fourth; and Onuphrius confesseth, that he followed Damasus, Anastatius, and such Historigraphers, as had written before of the same matter. I but says Florimondus, Platina reported it rather to show his reading, than for that he thought it true, for, (says he) had he imagined it true, he would have exaggerated it, and made the worst on't, that thereby he might have revenged himself of the Popes, at whom he was grievously incensed. For Paul the Second (continues he which all men know) racked him, and devested him, of all his dignities, and justly casting him into Prison, kept him there as long as himself lived. To this I answer; that he was racked, and imprisoned by Paul the Second, is true, but that it was justly done, is false; for Trithemius chargeth that Pope for so doing with cruelty.  
Yet suppose all were true, doth it follow in Florimondus' Logic, that because Paul the II. wronged Platina; ergo, Platina hated all Popes? and why not then; Sixtus the fourth gratified Platina many ways, setting him at Liberty, and restoring him his dignities; ergo Platina Loved all Popes for his sake? If one man's Kindness could not work Love towards all, it is not likely that one man's unkindness should breed hatred or Heartburning against all; wherefore notwithstanding this we may well think, that Platina wrote what he thought, and the rather for that in the words following, he professeth, 
f Apparet ea quae dixi ex his esse, qui fieri posse creduntur lib. 6. pag. 98.  that such a thing may likely happen.  
That I may not seem deficient in the production of testimonies for the farther probation of this story, give me leave to insert some more; amongst none of the meanest, observe what Chalcocondelas says, It is well known that a certain woman was made Pope, by reason they knew not her Sex. For all (almost) in the Western parts of Italy, shave their beards. Now when she was great with child, and came abroad to solemnize some day, or to say service; as she was at service, she was delivered of a Child in the sight of all the People. Wherefore lest hereafter they should be deceived in like sort, they make trial of his manhood by touching, and he that toucheth proclaimeth, We have a man to our Pope.  
These words are allowed by them to be in the Latin Translation, but 
g Annal. Tom. 10. ad annum 853. num. 66. Quamvis apud Chalcocondilum Latinè redditum ejusmodi fabula reperitur esse descripta; non tamen ab ipso Authore positum scias sed ab Impostore Clausere fraudulenter appositum.  Baronius will not admit of them in the Greek; for, (says he) Clauserus, his interpreter, added in his translation this story, which is not to be found in the Greek Copy: and for further persuasion, to make men believe it, he says, that Florimondus hath excellently well discovered the cozenage of Clauserus, for comparing Clauserus translation in Latin, with a Frenchman's translation of the same in his Mother Tongue, by that he found the Tale was not in Calcocondilas; for there was not one word of it in the French translation. But why I pray may not the French man leave it out as well as Clauserus; it may be objected (but how truly I know not) that this French man was a faithful translator, and durst not have left it out, if he had found it in the Greek, as Florimondus' notes. And why may we not hold Clauserus as faithful an interpreter as the Frenchman, yea more faithful, seeing the French man was a Papist: for 
i Gretser lib. 2. de jure, etc. prohib. lib. malos cap. 10.  Papists hold it Lawful in translating to omit offensive matter, and so doth no Protestant. If Florimondus, or Baronius could have informed us where a man might have seen a Greek Copy in which it is not, they had said something to purpose, but to go about to disprove it by a translation of one of their own creatures, they argue ridiculously, and if any of them gainsay that in the Western parts of Italy all (almost) shave not 
h Fidus Interpres praetermittere non ausus fuisset, si in Graeco Exemplari exeratum invenisset.  their Beards, as some have made that vain opposition, it is easily answered: for by the Pope's Canons, the Italian Priests, yea all the Priests of the Western Church are to be shaved; so saith 
k Chronogr. lib. 2.  Pontacus, hic Papa (Anicetus) Clericos comam & barbam radere in signum clericatus jussit. Pope Anicetus commanded the Clergy to shave both their heads and their beards, in token that they were of the Clergy. And, Occidentalis ecclesiae clerum, ab ipsis ecclesiae Christianae primordiis barbam radendi morem tenuisse, asserit Gregorius 7. Pope Gregory the seventh avouceth, that from the Apostles days the Western Clergy did shave their beards, to whom 
l Rational. Divin. Offic. lib. 2. de Ministris, etc.  Durandus who lived about the year 1280, subscribeth: for he acknowledgeth that before, and in his time, they were shaved, proving the lawfulness of it out of Ezechiel, and showing the mysteries that are imported by it. Johannes Pierius Valerianus, attests the same, imputing the Error of electing Pope Joan to the ordinary shaving of Beards, because by that means one could hardly know a man from a woman, which custom is shamefully revived in these fantastical times among our gentry, whose close shaved withered Countenances, are no ways distinguishable from an antiquitated Gentlewoman, but by their long Wigs, which seem to hid those imperfections which attend on age.  
For further proof of the verity of this story, it well be expedient to give you an account what Theodoricus de Niem (Secretary to a Pope) relates: 
m De Privilegiis & juribus Imperii.  John, called English, was a woman born at Mentz, and she studied at Athens, apparelled like a man, where she profited so well in the Arts, that coming to Rome she read there the liberal sciences and was held, so sufficient a Reader, that many of the better sort became her hearers; afterwards with one consent she was chosen Pope, and lived in that dignity two years, and upwards: But taking herself more than before to idleness, and pleasure, she could not live so continently as she did, in her mean, yet studious condition: whereupon one day as she went with the Clergy, and People of Rome (according to the custom of that time) in solemn Procession, being attired in the usual Papal ornaments, she was delivered of her first begotten son (the Father whereof was her servant) near the Temple of Peace, which stands in the City; as it is evident by an old Marble Image which stands there to this day, to denote so much in a figure. And hereupon it is that when the Popes go from the Vatican to St. John Lateran's, and back again, they go not the direct way thither but by other streets farther about, and so make their journey longer.  
I shall relate nothing what Petrarch, Boccace, Lucidus, and our Countryman Higden says to this purpose, since there are none so obstinate, but will confess they all have writ thereof, but only a little touch upon what 
n Trithem. de Script. Eccles. & Possevinus in Apparatu Sacro verbo, Johan. Parisiensis.  John of Paris writes as to this matter, who lived about the year 1280. and read publicly in the University of Paris, with great, and deserved commendation, as well in Divinity, as Humanity: he showing how sometimes a man may lawfully dispute, and take exception against the Pope, in respect of his Person 
o De Potestate Regia & Papali.  notes, that such a Person may be chosen as is not capable: ut si ess et foemina, vel Haereticus, sicut fuerunt aliqui qui ob hoc non enumerrantur in Catalogo Paparum. As for example (saith he) if he prove a Woman, or an Heretic, as some have done, who in that respect are not reckoned in the Catalogue of the Popes.  
What an infinite number of witnesses could I produce to verify this story whose Testimonies though ever so clear, yet the Romanists, the opposers of truth, will cavil at. Martinus Polonus, because he hath writ the truth concerning Pope Joan (for no other reason that I can find) they call him simple, ignorant man, given to vanity, and only famous for fables, for that is 
p Martinus Polonus fabulis tantum celebris, caetero obscurus homo.  Bernartius his censure of him. See the rashness of our later generation of Papists; for 
q Archiep. Cofentinus & Paenitentiarius Papae. Possevi●. Apparatus sacer verbo Martinus Polonus.  Polonus was an Archbishop, and Penitentiary to the Pope; he was learned in the Holy Scriptures, and not ignorant of secular learning; he was one, whom Platina relied on much for matter of history and applauded by him for a man of a good life, and conversation. He was the man, whom the Author of Fasciculus Temporum, and Jacobus Bergomensis, two good Historiographers, professed that they followed especially; and yet he is abused with undeserved titles of ignorance, for speaking the truth.  
The premises considered, one would think there needed no other quotations for farther proof of a matter so notorious, however since we have such plenty of Testimonies, it will not be irrequisit to insert some more, that may for ever stop the mouths of Truth's objectors and opponers: and first, Marianus Scotus, who was born in the year 1028. 
r Ab omnibus honore habebatur & non sine opinione sanctitatis sepelitur, Trithemius de Script. Ecclesiasticis.  a man of estimation whilst he lived, and when dead, was held a Saint, and by Baronius was styled, Nobilis Chronographus, a worthy Chonologer; in his Chronicle, thus we read, Leo Papa obiit Kalend. Augusti, huic successit Joanna mulier An. 2. Mens. 5. dieb. 4. that is Leo the Pope died in the Kalends of August. after him succeeded Joan the woman, who sat 2 years 5 Months and 4 days: 
s Lib. 4. de● Rom. Pont. cap. 24.  Bellarmin contradicts this, saying, that he who published Krantius Metropolis at Colen in the year 1574. doth witness; in antiquissimis exemplaribus Mariani Scoti non haberi Johannem Papam foeminam: that in the ancient copies of Marianus Scotus, there is no mention made of Pope Joan the woman: What this He should be, that gives this Testimony, I never yet could learn, nor that he was a man of any credit, besides, there is no reason that a nameless Sr. Mr. Anonymus should be credited against all printed Copies, especially if it be true, which 
t Lib. 4. de Rom. Pont. Cap. 13.  Bellarmin saith in another case: Author sine nomine est sine authoritate: a man without a name is without credit; and Canonus a concilio cujus ne nomen quidem extet facile contemni potest: a Canon out of a Council, whose name is not known may very well be slighted. But would you know the reason why Bellarmin did not name him? you may suppose, not because he was ignorant of his name, but because he was but a mean fellow, a Printer, a poor Bachelor of the Law, a man of slender reputation; for he is named in the first page of the Book Gerwinus Calenius Lippiensis: and what was such a fellow to run away with a story of this consequence upon his bare word in this manner; n quae hic Author de Johanne foemina refert, in odium Romanorum Pontificum confict a fuisse ab illis quos ipse deceptus sequitur ut alios omittamus quos Onuphrius in Platinam scribens recenset, testantur Marianus Scotus & Sigibertus, quorum quae supersunt M. S. exemplaria fraudem illorum detegunt, qui eorum impressis voluminibus id inseruerunt. That this which the Author hereof reports touching Pope Joan is but counterfeit stuff, devised to make the Pope odious; to say nothing of such proofs as Onuphrius gives in his Annotations on Platina, Martianus, Scotus, & Sigibert, 
u Annotat in lib. 2. Kran● tii Metrop.  do testify; whose manuscripts remaining on record discover their falsehood who have chopped his tale into their printed volumes; which Bellarmin, nor any other durst or dare avouch, the contrary being confessed directly by Baronius: 
x In chronico ad An. 184 Printed at Paris. 1513.  Sigiberts' words are these, The report is, that this John was a woman, and that one only, who laid with her, knew so much: and that at length, even in the time of her Papacy, she was delivered of a Child. Whereupon it is that some reckon her not among the Popes, and that there is not one Pope John the more in number for her. Notwithstanding this, the Romanists deny that there is any such thing in the ancient, true, and approved Copies of Sigibert, and if there be any such thing found, some paltry fellow, (as Bernartius notes) hath been tampering with his writings, and that Sigibert never writ it is fully witnessed by Genebrard. Pray hear observe, the Canonists (when Popes allege Popes for proof) do note, that it is familiaris probatio; meaning, it may be as much as that in the Proverb, Ask my fellow if I be a Thief. But say they in the Monastery of Gemble in Flanders there is extant the Original of Sigibert, which wants this Story, and for proof hereof, they have the oath of one Protasius a Franciscan, who saw it, and there (as he saith) Sigibert lived, there he wrote this Book with his own hands, there he left it after life as a Monument of his love. There it is shown by the Monks to such as come thither for a piece of excellency and rarity.  
Now judge you whether this paltry Friar is to be believed before Trithemius, who 0436 0106 V 3 (says he) lived not there when he writ the Book; for he writ that, and many others in the Monastery of St. Vincent within the city of Metensis.  
The Monks showing this Book as Sigiberts own to all comers, is 
y De Scriptoribus Ecclesiasticis Sigibertus cum in Caenobio. 8. Vincentio Metensi ad instruend. puerosesser positus scripsit. Hist. lib.  a very slender argument to prove that it is his: for I have read of a 
z Vergerius Annot. in Catalogue. haeret. Romae conflatum An. 1559 fol. 17.  Monk who gave out that he had brought from the East some of the sound of the Bells which hung in Solomon's Temple, and 
* ibid.  that he could show among other relics, some of the hairs which fell from the Seraphical Angel when he came to imprint the Five wounds of Christ in St. Francis' body, and I have 
* Bellonius obser: lib. 2. cap. 33.  read of others who show the Pilgrims who go to Jerusalem a three corner'd stone, assuring them it is that very stone whereof David spoke, saying, The stone which the Builders refused, is the head of the corner. Psal. 118.22.  
Now as Monks and Papists cousin others, so they are often cheated themselves; for many of them do verily believe they have that which they have not. Do not many of them persuade themselves that they have that Syndon wherein Christ's body was lapped, when it was interred, wherein (as they say) is to be seen to this day the Picture of Christ. Others think they have the Nails wherewith Christ was nailed to the Cross, and in like manner are they deceived in a thousand several sorts of relics.  
But grant that this story of Pope Joan is not to be found in some Copies of Sigibert, that does not argue that it was never writ by him; it is probable it may be left out by some, who have transcribed his Manuscript, which we may as well be induced to believe, and upon as good grounds, as that the words of Aelfricus, which oppose Transubstantiation were cut out of a fragment of an Epistle of his in the Library of Worcester, as 
a Act. & Monum. allegations against the 6. Articles, Pag. 1304. edit. 1570.  Mr. Fox doth prove apparently. Thus is this story of Pope Joan cut out of a very fair Manuscript of Ranulfus Cestrensis which is now to be seen in the Library of New-Colledge in Oxford: we need not wonder at such unjust proceed of the Papists, since they give direction, that, 
b Index lib. prohib. per Clementem 8. de Correct. lib.  qua famae proximorum, & praesertim Ecclesiasticorum, & Principum detrahunt, corrigentur, atque expurgentur. That such things should be altered, or put out, which tend to the Discredit of the Clergy; and doth not this touch their Ecclesiastic estate to the very quick? doth not Possevin advise, that the 
c Joh. Nevison Sylva Nuptialis. pag. 319.  note in John Nevison the Lawyer, which makes mention of Pope Joan should be razed out? Deal (saith he) quia Johannes haec foemina Chimaera est, & impostura calumniatorum; blot it out (saith Possevin) because John this Woman was a mere Chimaera, and a forgery of Calumniators.  
For further proof that this John was a mere fiction Cardinal Baronius would make us believe, that those of the best Credit in History, and who have writ most of her, do not positively aver that there was such a Woman Pope, but make their report of her with a sic aiunt, or an ut asseritur, but he brings no other proof thereof than teste meipso: which however it may go for proof among Princes, yet is no proof among Scholars: and for my part without proof I will believe nothing, let who will be the assertor, especially if he be a Papist. For as 
d Rerum Memorab. Paralipom. Hist. Abbot Vrsperg. annexa. pag. 394.  Sigismond the Emperor said of Julian the Cardinal Legate at the Council of Basil, when one commended him highly to him; tamen Romanus est; yea but he is a Roman; so I may say of any Romanist reporting things unknown, yea but he is a Romanist, or Papist.  
And now I pray suppose it be so as Baronius saith it is, why may it not be true though it be delivered with an ut asseritur? It may be objected that Lies and false reports are midwived into the world after that manner with, so some say, and thus it is said. I confess that many lies, nay gross ones too, pass in such general terms: as for example. Men say (saith the Popish Golden Legend) that St. Patrick drove with his staff all the venomous Beasts out of Ireland; and, that he obtained of the Lord, that no Irish man should abide the coming of Anti-christ: the former of which Harpfield Cope confesseth to be a Lie, and so I think all understanding Papists acknowledge the latter; else why do none of the learned Clergy of the Church of Rome allege it, to clear the Pope from being Anti-christ. Men say (saith Nangiacus, as Genebrard reporteth) that Kentish men have tails like bruit Beasts, because their Ancestors mocked Austin the Monk when he came to preach among them; nay by some this is believed as a truth to this day, for but lately a Kentish-man travelling with a Fleming, and being constrained to lie together, the Dutchman would not go to bed till he had satisfied his Eyes with the truth, or falsehood of a Kentish-long-tail; that this is a lie, there is nothing more evident and yet this is reported with a, so 'tis said. When Boniface the Martyr was demanded whether it was Lawful to use a wooden chalice at the administration of the Lords supper; it is said he answered thus (saith 
e De sacris Ecclesiast. benefic. ac Min. lib. 2. cap. 4.  Duaren) Olim aurei Sacerdotes ligneis vasis, nunc lignei aureis utuntur: In former times Golden Priests used Wooden Chalices, now Wooden Priests use Golden ones: in like manner it was written that Pius the 2. was wont to say, Marriage upon just reason was forbidden Priests, but now upon better reason to be restored to them again: of which saying of his there is no question to be made, as may appear by this, that 
f Pisanus de Continentia cap. two.  a Jesuit only thus replies, That it was recanted by him, and denieth not that it was spoken by him. That Alexander the third trampled the Emperor Frederick under his feet, and commanded one to say, thou shalt walk upon the Lion, and asp, the young Lion, and the Dragon shalt thou tread under thy feet Psal. 91.13. 
g Duaremus de sac. Eccl. Min. lib. 1. cap. 2.  this is reported with an, ut fertur, and yet they have little to say for themselves who call the truth thereof into question. That merry Cardinal, who seeing after the death of Clement the fourth, that his Brethren the Cardinals called still for the assistance of the Holy Ghost, and could not agree upon the election of a new Pope, cried out 
h Onuph. Annotat in Plat. de vitis Pon. tif. in vit. Gregorii 10.  Domini disco operiamus tectum camerae hujus, quia Spiritus Sanctus nequit ad nos per tot tecta ingredi; Sirs, let us untile the roof of this room; for I fear the Holy Ghost cannot get to us through so many slates: this is merely 
i Onuphr. ib.  reported upon election of Gegory to have made these Verses.  

Papatus munus tulit Archidiaconus unus,  
Quem Patrem Patrum fecit discordia fratrum.   

k Disput. super mater. Conc. gen. quae habetur in Fasciculo Rerum. expetend. Col. 15 35. fol. 21.  Nicholas Clemangis Arch Deacon of Baion in France writes upon hearsay, that when Balthasar, commonly known by the name of John the 23. held a Council at Rome, and caused, according to custom, before the first Session A Mass to be said for the assistance of the Holy Ghost; immediately upon the Councils sitting, and Balthasars' advancing himself into the Chair of State; an Owl, of a prodigious bigness (an evil presage) came out of a hole whooping and hollowing after a dreadful manner, and flew to the middle balk of the Church, staring just in Balthasar's face, to the great astonishment of him, and the whole Council, which immediately hereupon broke up. He further writes, that at the next Session she appeared again, staring in the Pope's face as before, and could not be frighted away with what extraordinary noise was made for that purpose; at length one throwing a stick knocked her down, and killed her. No man will question the truth hereof, since he confesseth, that he had this story of a faithful friend, who assured him it was true upon his credit. That the worst Christians in Italy are the Romans; that of the Romans, the Priests are most wicked; and of the Priests, the lewdest are made Cardinals, and the badst chosen to be Pope; 
l Sir. Edward Sands of the Religion used in the West, pag. 91.  it is written but with, asseritur: yet to the skilful in History, and such as are acquainted with the affairs of Rome, this doth not seem improbable. In Bavaria palam ferunt Jesuitas dolium in Collegium subvex●sse, è cujus fundo effracto, Meretrix in publicas plateas prolapsa sit (saith 
m Lib. 2. de verbo dei cap. 16.  Hassen Muller) They say openly in Bavaria, that the Jesuits caused a Tub to be carried to their College, which breaking by the way, a Wench dropped out of the end on't into the open street: And why may not this be true, though it go but by report. The Papists believe far more incredible reports than this, which tend to the defamation of us Protestants.  
If any should object, that there were many learned men, and great Writers who lived in her time, sometime after, who though they were the Authors of several books, yet make no mention of any Woman that was ever Pope of Rome. Besides Rupertus, an English Bishop, who, because he was excommunicated by the Pope, invented, and raked together all manner of lies against the Pope, yet notwithstanding objected not this.  
This objection may be easily answered thus in a word: That most of all those Authors who are quoted by the Romanists to have made no mention of Pope Joan were no historiographers, but such who employed their Pen, and time in the study of Philosophy, or Divinity, and therefore it is no more a wonder that these learned men should be silent, as to this matter, than for a Mathematician to write of Lines and Tangents only, and not to write of Pharmacy, and Physic. Again, this Rupertus (commonly called Grosthead) well skilled in Greek and Latin, a Reader of Divinity in the Schools, an excellent Preacher, and a man so eminent for a holy life and conversation, that it was the opinion of the whole Clergy of England and France, that there was not such another among the Prelates of that time; yet Innocent the fourth called him 
n Quis est ille delirus▪ surdus & absurdus saith Innocent the fourth. Mat. Paris.  Old Fool, furred, and absurd fellow, and his reproaches were attended with menaces. The reason is apparent in that he opposed the Pope, and had divers cavils with him, in so much that in one Letter he did not stick to tell him plainly, That by his Writs (with (non obstante) he brought a deluge of mischiefs on the world, whereby the purity of the Church was defiled, and the quietness of the Republic impeded and destroyed: that by his Reservations, commendoes, and Provisions of Benefices for Parsons, who sought to fleece, and not to feed the flock of God, he committed such a sin, so contrary to the Doctrine of the Apostles, and Evangelists, so hateful, and detestable, so abominable to Christ Jesus, as never Sin was, but the Sin of Lucifer, nor never shall be but the Sin of Anti-christ, whom the Lord shall destroy with the Breath of his Mouth at his coming. He further signified that no man could with a good conscience obey any such mandates as he sent abroad, though they came from the highest order of Angels: for they tended not to edification, but the utter ruin of the Church. Are these Lies, by reporting whereof he sought to revenge himself on that present Pope? Sure it cannot be, since the 
o  vera fateamur vera sunt quae dicit said the Cardinals, Mat. Paris. p 1192  College of Cardinals confessed before the Pope, that they could not blame him for writing thus, having said nothing but what was justifiable. And here give me leave to recite what another, Matthew Paris, hath registered to posterity concerning Popes and Papists. In his History of England, in the life of William the Conqueror, in the year 1072, page 10. he reports how Satanas, & omnes contubernium inferorum; that the Devil and all his hellish crew writ Letters gratulatory to all the rabble of the Romish Clergy, acknowledging their kindness, in that following their pleasures, and desisting from instructing the people, they suffered more Souls to go to Hell than ever went before.  

p Ibid. An. 1074.  That Gregory the seventh set the whole Church in an uproar by deposing married priests from their priesthood, and forbidding the Laity to hear them say service, because he had no precedent for so doing, and because as some thought it was unadvisedly done, contrary to the opinion of the ancient Fathers, who wrote that the Sacraments of the Church, by the invisible working of the Spirit have like effect, whether they be administered by good or bad men. 
q In Hen. 1. ad An. 1125. pag. 93.  He reports how a Cardinal Legate, at a Council held in London inveighing against the Misses or Wenches of the Clergy, was taken the same night after in bed with a Whore or Bona Roba.  

r In Hen. 3. p. 617.  He reports, how Germanus, Archbishop of Constantinople, informed the Cardinals of Rome, that the Grecians stumbled much at this, that the Cardinals desired to be accounted his Disciples, who said, Silver and Gold have I none, and yet none so rich, and covetous as they.  

s In Hen. 3. pag. 712. ad 〈◊〉. 1240.  He reports how the Pope enjoined by one mandate to the Bishops of Canterbury, Lincoln, and Salisbury, that they should provide for 300. Romans in Benefices next vacant; and that they should dispose of no Benefice, till so many were completely provided for.  

t In Hen. 3. p. 1089.  He reports, how Hugh the Cardinal bragged, when Innocentius departed from Lions, that whereas there were four Stews, or Bawdy-houses at his coming thither, he had left them but one, and that reached but from one end of the Town to the other.  

u In Hen. 3. p. 1100.  He reports, how the Franciscans and Minorites by Commandment from the Pope appointed all sorts of people, young and old, men and women, sound & sick, and of all conditions, to go for recovery of the Holy Land, and yet the same day, or a little time after, for money dismissed them again.  
He reports, how Innocentius the fourth instigated the people of Brabant and Flanders to commence a War against Conradus the Emperor, promising them for so doing forgiveness of all their sins; yea, not only a pardon for their own sins, but the like for their Relations.  
These, and the like stories he records against the Pope being manuducted thereunto by Truth itself; but he meddles not with any thing which was done by any Pope within 1000 years after Christ; and therefore it is no wonder that he speaks nothing of Pope Joan.  
That I may not omit any material object ion that the Romanists allege to disprove the verity of the story of Pope Joan, I must here inform the Reader, that as they say many learned Latin writers say nothing of Her, so Greek Historiographers, Zonoras', Cedrenus Caropalatas, and others who wrote before Martinus Polonus concerning the Latin Church, and were enemies to the same, and would have been glad of such an advantage against it, writ nothing thereof at all; from whence some infer there was no such matter.  
To shape an answer to this argument I must beg this question; doth not Platina confess there was a Pope called Mark, who sat two years, eight months, and ten days; and another Pope called Marcellus, who sat above five years; and yet 
w Lib. 2. Chronogr.  Pontacus, and 
x Chronol. lib. 3.  Genebrard confess, that all the Greek Writers in a manner omit to speak of the former; and that all Greek Writers without exception omit to speak of the latter. Now if we should be persuaded (notwithstanding their passing by these insilence) that these were Popes, why may we not as well believe that there was a Pope Joan, though they pass her by in like manner, not speaking one word of her: we may believe many things of which they writ not a syllable. We read in the Golden Legend, 
y Breviar. Rom. in officio exalt. S. Crucis.  Breviary, etc. that Heraclius the Emperor, when he would have entered in by the gate, by which our Saviour, went to his Passion, clad in his Royal robes with the Cross on his shoulders, was miraculously hindered, and could not get through, till he had devested his body of its Princely apparel, and put off his shoes, and stockings. This is verily believed by many Romanists, and yet Gretser saith, that the Grecians, Zonoras', Cedrenus, and the like, writ nothing of it, yet professeth withal he likes it never the worse for their silence; for they (as he farther observes) omitted many other material truths whereof no man of reason will ever call them in question; and though Hermannus Contractus, Conradus, Vrspergensis Abbas, and others speak nothing of this Joan, we must not therefore conclude that there was never such a Woman once a Pope. Do arguments taken from authority of few men hold negatively? Is it a good Argument, St. Paul, St. Luke, and Seneca do not say that St. Peter was at Rome? Ergo St. Peter was not at Rome. I answer with 
z Lib. de Rom. pontiff. cap. 8  Bellarmin, negative arguments are nothing worth; for it follows not that St. Peter was never at Rome, because St. Luke, St. Paul, and Seneca do not report that he was ever there: for these three were not bound to report all that was true. Certainly (saith one) magis credi debet tribus testibus affirmantibus quam infinitis nihil dicentibus; a man should rather believe t●●ee witnesses speaking to a cause, than infinite who speak neither pro nor con. Again, Denis Bishop of Athens was afterwards Bishop of Paris, though Ado Bishop of Triers in Germany, and Suidas, a Greek Author, make no mention of his removal to another Bishopric. Lipomannus resolves upon Metaphrastes and one Michael Syngelus in these words, that Denis was Bishop of Paris, though Ado, and Suidas say nothing of it. Why then though these and many more say nothing of Pope Joan, might there not be such a Pope, since as many, and as learned as they, do place her in the number of Popes. 
a Proligom. 6 in Evangelia.  Salmeron a learned Jesuit saith thus, Ea lex apud Historigraphos observatur, ut quando unus ex duobus historicis aliquid affirmat quod alius supprimit, non deroget affirmanti qui tacet; That when one Historian reports what another passeth by, the latters silence doth not prejudice the truth of the others relation.  
I must confess there is not a word of her in all those six or seven Tables which are in the Vatican; yet suppose these Tables be of greatest estimation, yet shall we conclude that he that is as Pope registered therein was a Pope; I know not how safely we may believe it, since Baronius condemns such for silly credulous people, who believe reports the rather because they are to be found in Books belonging to the Pope's Library. Besides Leo the 8 is registered in the Catalogue of Popes, and in some of those seven Tables, if not in them all, yet 
b Annalium. tom. 10. ad annum. 964.  Baronius, and his followers conclude him an intruder, and Usurper, and did not in the least deserve that glorious Title of a Pope. Now if this be no good argument Leo the 8 is numbered among the Popes in seven Tables, in the Pope's Library, or in seven as authentical, Ergo Leo the 8 was a Pope; from hence may be said, that Joan the Woman Pope is not numbered amongst the Popes in those seven Tables in the Pope's Library: Ergo there was no such Joan, a Woman Pope. But consider if seven Tables speaking for a Pope do not convince the being of such a Pope, why should their silence argue the contrary? might there not be as well, one left out that was a Pope, as commemorize one that never was? Besides, there are several reasons why it was requisite she should be left out, either for her Sex sake, being a Woman, and very salacious, or else she would never have rambled over several Countries with a man, who undoubtedly in their travels lay together; or else in regard of the foulness of the fact, which as it brands her Memory with perpetual infamy, so it cannot but prove a great blot in the Papal Escutcheon.  
This omission of her name need not seem strange, if you will but observe, that other Popes, upon other occasions, have been passed over in silence by several Writers as no Popes; as for example; Faelix the 2. was both Pope and Martyr (as 
c Lib. 4. de Roman. Pontif. cap 9  Bellarmin affirmeth) and he sat as Pope one year, four months, and two days, as you may read in 
d Invita Faelicis.  Platina: yet by 
e Chronol. lib. 3. ad annum. 368.  Genebrards' confession, Marcellinus omits to speak of him, in his Chronicle, because he was suspected of heresy; and for the same, or such like cause St. Austin, and Optatus, mention him not among the Popes in their Memorials. That one Cyriacus was Pope is acknowledged by divers, yet it is rare to find him in any Clatalogue of Popes of whom Johannes de Parisiis, a great Papist, in his Treatise de potestate regia & papali, writes thus; Iste Cyriacus in Catalogo Paparum non annumeratur, quia credebant ipsum non propter devotionem sed propter oblectamentum Virginum dimisisse Episcopatum. Cyriacus is not in the Catalogue of Popes, because it was thought he left the Popedom not for Devotion but for the sake of Wenching. Damasus the second hath his name registered in many 
f Platina in vita Da●asi 2. Polo●●s in Chronic. circa an. 1040.  Popish Chronicles in the throng of Popes; yet there are 
g Platina l●c● citato.  many on the otherside who let him go for a Scabby sheep. Thus Platina, censent nonnulli hunc inter Pontifices nequaquam numerandum esse; some judge this fellow no ways fit to be registered among the Popes; and in like manner they deal with many others.  
But 
h Florimondus Cap. 22. p. 190.  some may say if Pope Joan was omitted in the registers of some for the filthiness of her fact, why was that Close-stool reserved, and that Monument of hers erected where she was publicly delivered; for the Stool, and the Image were as like to continue the memory of her, as any record in writing. To this I answer may not some be of one opinion, some of another? May not some think good to continue the memory of that which others for shame would willingly have forgotten? Hence not some Papists in France denied that John Chastel was taught by the Jesuits to murder Henry the fourth of France, because they were loath the Jesuits should seem odious? and yet did not others contribute their assistance in the erection of a stony Pillar near the King's Palace, whereby so much was notified; If any man should affirm that the same man who omited Pope Joan for the filthiness of her fact, erected such a Monument for her in one of the High-streets in Rome, and proscribed such a Stool to be kept for that purpose I know not how he could free himself from contradiction.  
For further Proof whereof I think this worth the consideration, that when Paul the Third moved with the Spirit of God (as 
i In his Rejoinder to Bishop Jewel about the Mas● p. 177.  Harding saith) and desirous to reform the Church gave charge to the most Learned, Wise, Pious, and Zealous men he knew, viz. four Cardinals, three Bishops, and two others to inquire and search out what abuses and disorders were in the Church, and especially in the Roman Court; which they did accordingly, and presented him a Libel containing the sum of all their proceed. Some thought their Labours merited Registering; others thought them fit to be committed to the fire, which appears by this, that the Libel is Printed in Crabs edition of the Council, anno 1551, and yet inserted in the Index librorum prohibitorum by Paul the fourth, (one of those four Cardinals that exhibited it to Paul the third) and left out of Dominicus Nicolinus his Edition of the Councils at Venice auspiciis Sixti Quinti, in the year 1585. and out of Severinus Binnius his Edition at Colen 1606.  

k Bell. lib. 3. de Rom. Pont. cap. 24.  But say the Papists again, grant that Pope Joan should be omitted for the filthiness of her fact, yet should there have been mention made of the vacancy of the See for that time she was Pope, else there will be a manifest error in Chronology.  
A foul error indeed to miss two years in reckoning; there may be fouler than this, and yet the matter salved well enough. For Onuphrius reckons 230. Popes to Gregory the 13, and Genebrard and Massonus 234. whereas Platina accounts 235; for he reckons to Zistus the fourth, with whom he ends, 221 Popes: afer whom, to Gregory the 13, every one reckons 14, 
l Anastas. de Vita Evarist.  which completes the number of 235: yet Versteganus, in his Table printed at Antwerp 1590., numbers no more than 231. Moreover do not several Chronologies written by k Romanists record, that Evaristus sat 13 years, whereas others say, he sat but 
m Baron, Annal. tom. 2. ad annum. 121. Num. 1.  nine years? do not 
n Baron. Annal. tom. 2. ad Anno 172. Num. 21..  some of them say that Denis sat; 
o Annastas. de vita Dionysii▪  others that he sat but two years. I think these differences, and such as these are argue manifest errors in their Chronologies; If no further inconveniencies follow upon Pope joan's omission, than a manifest error in Chronology, for that space she lived, we may well enough believe that some omitted her, not because there was no such Person, but because they were ashamed of her; for two years, and odd months break no square in their Chronologies, no more than a mistake of two inches in a foot with a bungleing Carpenter.  
I, but says Florimondus, no man ever writ of her till four hundred years after her death; and is it possible that all writers should so conspire together, that the truth thereof could never be certainly known, till so long a time after the expiration of her Popeship?  
I have already proved by the books that are yet extant, that this story was sooner discovered. But suppose we had no Author who lived within 400. years of Pope Joan to produce for proof, must therefore the story be rejected? Do not the Papists recommend, as truths, many stories, for which they can bring no testimony out of any Writer who lived within 400. years after? 
p Bell. lib. 2. de Image cap. 10.  They tell us of an Image of Christ which was made by Nicodemus, who came to our Saviour by night for fear of the Jews; and of it runs a report of strange Miracles it effects: yet are not able to name the man who wrote of this 600. years after Nicodemus. 
q Bel. loco citato & Gretser de Cruse lib. 2. cap. 1.  They tell us that St. Luke drew certain pictures of the Virgin Mary, but 
r Lib. 1. Collectan.  Theodorus Lector is the first man that makes this report, and he lived at least 500 years after. Not to trouble you with many more instances, 
s Baron Annal Tom. 1. ad An Christi. 31. Nu. 61.  they writ, that our Saviour wiping his face with a handkerchief, imprinted his own Effigies therein, and sent it to Agbarus for a token; but for proof hereof, there is no Author to be produced, but one 
t Baron. Annal. Tom. 8. ad An. 594. Nu. 30.  Evagrius, who lived 600. years after Christ. That the Virgin Mary made that coat of our Saviour's which was without seam the 
u Annotat. in Joh. 19.23. in Margin.  Rhemists peremptorily affirm, and 
x Ludolphus de vita Jesus. part. 2. cap. 63. p. 221. Coloss. 2.  others of the like faction add, that as our Saviour grew in height, and breadth, so the Coat on his back grew in like manner. I cannot read any Author they have produced that writeth hereof for above 400 years since.  
But how comes it about that Pope Joan should be called John, as she was supposed a man after her election, since Popes upon their election do now change their names from a laudable custom (saith Florimondus) that Sergius (a few years before Pope Joan) introduced, which was that the Pope elect should not step out of the Conclave till he had changed his proper name.  
It is confessed, that 
y Fascic. Temp. ad An. 844. Pol. Virg. de Rerum Invent. Stella de vitis Pont. in Sergio. 2.  some say that, because Sergius had a filthy beastly name before his election, viz Swines-snout, he changed it after his election; but they are mistaken who say Sergius the 2 changed his proper name, for ex paterno nomine a principio Sergius est appellatus; from his birth he was called Sergius after the name of his father, so writes Baronius in his Annals Tome the tenth, to the year 844. The first who changed his name was Sergius the third, and yet not for the filthiness of his name, but in reverence to St. Peter. Cum enim ille Petrus vocaretur indignum se putavit vocari eodem nomine, quo Christus primum ej●s sedis Pontificem Principem Apostolorum ex Simone Petrum nominaverat: for his name being Peter, he thought it not fit, to be called by that name whereby Christ called the first Bishop of that See, even the Prince of the Apostles, whose name be changed from Simon to Peter, as may be further read in that Learned Cardinal, Caesar Baronius. Notwithstanding this positive assertion, of Baronius, I see this great Scholar, as well as other Bug-bears of wit, and controversy may not only grossly mistake, but down right contradict themselves; for (saith he) in another place, Tom. 10. Annal. ad Ann. 955. Nu. 4. speaking of John the twelfth. Hic revera primus inventus qui mutavit sibi nomen, ut qui ex Octaviano vocari voluerit Johannes pro mutata non exuta tyrannide: This, in truth is the first who changed his name, who of Octavian would needs be called John; not that he meant to leave his tyranny, but to use it in another kind; for he, who was called by his Father Octavian, in respect of his temporal authority in the City, would now in respect of his spiritual, be called John: either because his Uncle John the 11. was called so, or for that he desired to hear well at least for his namesake, whilst in clawing, and fawning acclamations the people basely applied unto him that good speech, there was a man that was sent from God whose name was John. Thus Baronius; and now Florimondus not knowing almost what to say, asks the question, who was Pope joan's Father, quinam hujus Pseudopontificis pater; if she had a Father, certainly he would have been mentioned in History, as well as the Father of Linus, Clerus, Clemens, and of all the rest of Popes, in answer hereunto, that the Histories expressly set down the Fathers of all the rest of the Pope's is false. For by History no man knows of what parentage 
z Anastas. de vit. Pont. in vita Higini.  Higinus was; Higini genealogia non invenitur, neither can we find out the Ancestors of Pope Denis; as Anastasius, afore quoted, doth acknowledge; Dionisii generationem invenire non potuimus; And it is unknown of what Surname or Country John the 19 was: 
a Stella de vitis Pant. in vita Johan. 19  Johannis 19, cognomen et patria ignoratur.  
In Histories it is expressly written, that urban the fourth was begotten by a Cobbler, 
b Onuph. Annot. in Plat. in vita Vrbani. 4.  ex patre Sutore veteramentario; that John the two and twentieth was the Son of a Butcher, 
c Longius in Chron. ad An. 1316.  Filius Veteramentarii, resarcitoris scilicet sotelarium: That Benedict the eleventh was the Son of a poor Laundress; 
d ibid.  Filius Lotricis pauperculae: that Benedict the twelfth was the Son of a Milner Molitoris filius; That Sixtus the fourth was the Son of a Mariner, 
e Papyr. Mass. de urbis Episcop. lib. 6. in Sixto 4.  patre ortus qui semper nauticam exercuit; that Adrian the sixth was the Son of a Cloath-worker, or as some say a Brewer: That 
f Cicarellus in Vita Sixti 5.  Sixtus Quintus was the Son of a Swinheard, but what the names of these men's Fathers were, that is not expressly written. 
g Papyr. Mas. de Vrbis Epis. lib. 6. in Alex. 5.  Alexander the fifth confessed; Se nec parents, nec fratres, nec aliquem ex agnatis, cognatisque suis unquam vidisse: That he never saw either his Father, or Mother, or Brother, or any of his kindred; who then can tell his Father's name?  
Beating some of the Romanists from this idle interrogatory, they fly to this; either this Pope Joan was young, or old when she was chosen. If she was young, it was contrary to custom to admit of any such election; as may appear by the great number of Popes that lived in the dignity above the number of Emperors that succeeded often in their youth. But if she were old when she was chosen, then how did she bear a Child publicly in procession? the ground work of this argument, that Pope Joan was either young, or old, may be easily destroyed thus; if we consider that learned men divide the whole course of man's life not into youth and old age; but into Pueritiam, pubertatem; adolescentiam, juventutem constantem mediumve & senectutem. Now middle age is from 35. to 49. whereof she might have been, and so neither old, nor young; for Leo the 10 was chosen Pope at 38 years of age, being not 46 years old when he died, and yet he sat as Pope 8 years, 8 months, and 20 days; and Gregory the 11. was about 35 years old when he was chosen, as 
h Niem Vnionis Tract. 5. cap 39  Theodoricus de Niem, and Massonus testify, besides, she might have been chosen young for any Popish custom there is to the contrary. For 
i Masson. de Vrbis Episcop. in Boniface 9  Boniface the 9 at the age of 34 was chosen Pope; and Innocent the 3 was but 30. I know not but our Joan might have been one of the youths of the Parish; For not to speak of the Boy Pope 
k Glab. Radul. hist. lib. 5.  Benedict the 9 who was chosen Pope about eight years old, one, who at that age better understood a Gig, and Bowling-stones, than the discipline of the Church, I say not to reflect on him particularly, 
l Paulus Langius in Chron, Citizense ad An. 1389.  John 13 alias 12 In juvenili & florida aetate creatur Pontifex, He was constituted Pope when he was in his youth and flourishing condition; that is about the 18 year of his age, as 
m Annal. Tom. 10. ad anno 955. num. 3.  Baronius gathereth by circumstances.  
But why might she not have been old, since we read, and have known experimentally that old women have born children. Henry the Emperor begat Frederick the 2 on a Wife who was fifty years old, so saith Massonus: and Machutus the Bishop (saith Petrus de Natalibus) was born when his Mother was above threescore: and saith Fransciscus Junius in his annotations on Ruth; Hic in Palatinatu ante annos aliquot vidi meis occulis & vocatus interfui partus cujusdem foeminae amplius annos 56 natae, quae binos mores enixa est eodem partu: A few years since I was entreated to see a woman above 59 years old, who was delivered of two Boys at a Birth; why may not then Pope Joan (though fifty) be delivered of a Son.  
Again let us consider, that the multitude of Popes above the Emperors was not by reason of their age, but by other accidents. In the first 300 years while the Popes were Generally good, they were cut off by Martyrdom, for though it be not true (as Onuphrius very well observes) that all the Popes from St. Peter's time to Sylvester were Martyrs (which is confidently avouched by some of the Romish party) yet I grant it for a truth, that most of them were so. Now in succeeding times their number grew the greater by their poisoning and murdering one another. Diligently peruse the History of their Lives, and you shall find that of forty Popes deceased, there was not one sat a full year: 
n Fascic. Temp. add an. 904.  you shall find that in a little more than nine years, there were nine several Popes: you shall find that one man, in 13 years, poisoned six Popes: Lastly you shall find, that God in his justice did cut them off for their wicked and abominable lewd Lives and conversations.  
Liberius sat about some six years, saith Cardinal 
o Sum. de Eccles. lib. 4. part. 1. c 9  Turrecremata, and then died an evil Death, mala morte precibus Sanctorum extinctus est; he died not for age, but with cursing.  
Anastasius the second sat not two years but God struck him suddenly for his wickedness, and he died miserably: for he died as some say, as Arius the Arch-heretick, of which opinion is 
p Platina in vita Anastasii 2.  Platina and 
q Stella de Vit. Pont. ad annum 498.  Stella, who say, Sunt qui scribunt eum in Latrinam effudisse intestina dum necessitati naturae obtemperat; In a house of office he evacuated his guts with his excrements.  
Clement the second continued in the Papacy but nine months, and died not of old age but poison: so says Genebrard and Aeneas Silvius.  
Damasus the second, who had a hand in poisoning this Clement, kept the Popedom but 23 days, not that he died of old age, but by the just judgement of God, that he might be an example to others (as Platina observes) who climb to that dignity by unjust and indirect means, to which they should ascend by virtue, and true merit.  
Benedict the sixth lived Pope no longer than a year and a half, and then died in a Goal by strangling, or famine, as 
r Annal. Tom. 10. ad anno 974.  Baronius is of opinion.  
Victor the third was no longer Pope but one year, and four months and died by Poison, so says Platina, Genebrard, Charanza, and Polonus; by the same means (as is supposed) died Pius the third.  
John the thirteenth (alias twelve) was slain in the very act of adultery, whether thrust through by one that saw him in that beastly posture (as Platina believes) or murdered by the Devil (as Luitprandus imagines) Historians agree not in; but 
s Turrecremata sum. de Eccles. lib. 2. cap. 103.  Turrecremata, a Cardinal, taketh that as more likely, that is most dreadful: for because (saith he) the Life of Pope John was detestable, and intolerable offensive to the Christian People, therefore Christ himself pronounced against him sentence of condemnation: for, whilst he was abusing, and vitiating a certain man's Wife, the Devil struck him suddenly into the temple of his head, and he died as suddenly without repentance.  
Boniface the seventh sat but seven months, and a few days, and then the Beast died, saith 
t Metrop. lib. 5. cap. 1.  Krantius.  
Marcellus the Second lived but 22 days in the Papacy, not that he was very aged when he died (for he was but 55 years old) but for that he was poisoned, and which is strange, it is observed, that he was poisoned, because some thought he would prove an honest Pope. Obiit die 22, non sine veneni suspitione, quod nimium rectius quibusdam videretur, saith 
u Chron. lib. 4. ad annum 1555.  Genebrard.  
That Sixtus Quintus, after the sixth year of his Reign was fetched away by the Devil, by whose help he came to that place, 
x In his Declarat. made at Vendome Jan. 28. 1601.  Sr. Francis Breton, a Monk of the order of the Celestines, protested that a Prior of Saint Benet's order assured him at Rome and the Jesuits at Italy seem to believe no less by their own reports. To conclude, it is the confession of many Pontificial Writers, that many Popes were short lived, because God saw they proved Monsters instead of pious men, and became a shame, and scandal to the true Religion; wherefore God in his justice snatched them off from the face of the Earth. Thus this argument of years hath its answer.  
Another objection they allege; that it is a most unlikely thing that the whole Roman Clergy would choose a Pope without a beard, especially, if all the Clergy in those days, (as some writ) were shaved. For men by shaving may make themselves look like women, and women by often shaving may make themselves look like men, 
y Pro barbis Sacerdotum, fol. 21. ad Card. Medicen Lond. Anno 1533.  Johannes Pierius Valerianus a learned man, imputes the error of the choice of Pope Joan to this, that the Clergy in those days were generally shaved: for by the means of shaving (saith he) the people were so disguised, that men and women were in a manner undistinguishable, and by this it happened, that a woman was chosen Pope of Rome to the perpetual shame, and infamy of that sacred dignity; of the same opinion is 
z Lib. 5. de Rebus Turcicis.  Chalcocondilas. Thus then since it was an ordinary thing for the Clergy to be shaved, why should they dislike her the more for want of a beard.  
But some may say, that it is very strange, that in all that time, neither voice, countenance, not actions should not discover her. To this I answer, that if there be truth in Popish Writers; divers Women have lived longer among Men in men's apparel unknown, than Dame Joan lived in the Popedom. For Marina (as i Textor reports) lived all her Life among Monks in a Masculine habit, and none knew any thing to the contrary, but that she was a Monk 
b Pet. de Natal. in Catalogue. sanc. lib. 2. cap. 3.  Euphrosina lived thirty six years among Monks, and was reputed for a Monk; so did Eugenia, Pelagia, and Margareta, and their Sex the while was unsuspected. In our late Civil Wars, I knew a woman that was sixteen years a Soldier, at length, being tired with that starving kind of Life, returned to her relations, and reassuming her pristin proper habiliments, 
a Text. in Officina Tit. Mul. hab. viril. ment.  was in a little time Married, and had several Children afterwards.  
The Romanists, to make this story the more fabulous, and improbable, do say, that certainly this Woman Pope (had there been any such Person) would not have been guilty of so much indiscretion (especially having the repute of so much Wit, and Scholarship) as to go abroad in public, being so near her time, and venture to go in Procession, where she must consequently have the eyes of many thousands fixed upon her, whereby, if no other accident should happen, she runs the hazard of a discovery. To this I answer, that the time of Childbirth is uncertain, for commonly women go ten months, yet sometimes they come sooner, at nine, eight, yea, and at seven months, as 
c Levin. Lemnius de occult. Nat. miraculis lib. 4. cap 22. & 23.  Physicians have observed. Honester women than Pope Joan have fallen in Travail upon the highway; nay in the street, their unexpected pangs have come so fast upon them that they have been forced to take sanctuary at the next house they could come at, and make bold with a stranger in a mean habitation, rather than be delivered in the street; suitable to this is an observation of Theophilact; novit mulier quod pariet, quando vero non novit: nam non paucae 8 mense pepererunt, etiam in itinere, nihil praescientes; (says he) a woman knows she shall be delivered, but the time when, she knows not: for divers have been delivered in their eight month, as they have been on a journey, not imagining they were so near their reckoning. Thus may this poor Gentlewoman, Pope Joan be mistaken, and the rather, because this was her first that she was delivered of, as she went to St. John Lateran's, for we do not read, that she had a Bastard before she was Pope, not, but that we may believe it upon good grounds, that her fellow Traveller, or Gallant was not wanting in his endeavours to give her that carnal satisfaction she desired; and it may be she proved upon it too, but had an Art, which the Devil taught her, to carry it off again by medicine, a practice of late too much used by some insatiate Messalina's of this Kingdom: whether she used it or not, we know no other proof but bare conjecture, but certain it is, she was delivered of a Son in the open street, and both expired immediately thereupon, who were buried together without any solemnity, and though she had born the greatest offices belonging to the Romish Church, yet she was interred without the common ceremonies of Burial.  
The Sacred Scriptures do inform us, that God in his justice doth use to serve the greatest Princes so, who dishonour him. Do we not read that Jehoiachim King of Judah was to be buried as an Ass was buried, etc. Jerem. 22.18, 19 and we read in History, that many Popes have had as small solemnities. Boniface the 7. (saith 
d Annal. Tom. 10. ad An. 985. è veterê Pontif. vaticano codice.  Baronius) who sat after John the 15, in four months died a sudden death, and was so hateful to his own followers, that after his death they showed their detestation of him, by revenging themselves with Blows on his senseless Carcase, whilst others with swords ran him through, and through; after this they draged him by the feet stark naked, till they came to the field which is near the place where Constantine's Horse stands, there they threw him from them, and so left him. Deborah Rebecca's Nurse, was buried under an Oak and Rachel jacob's Wife, (a far honester woman than Pope Joan) was buried in the way to Ephrath. This woman Pope could not have a burial too bad for her; a fact so extraordinary, deserved an extraordinary usage, wherefore Papyrius Massonus questions the truth of this story, because she was not shameful enough handled; for (saith he) had there been any such Pope, the Romans could have done no less in equity, than after Death, to have hanged her up in chains. But how comes it about, if she was delivered of a Boy, that she died instantly? Florimondus accounts this, as one of the adsurdities which attend this ●able, Masculum pepererat (saith he) quid igitur mortem repentinam attulit? If a Woman be once delivered of the fruit of her Womb, there is no danger of Death in his opinion. In the first place, she did not die instantly, though suddenly, for she was delivered of a Boy before her death, in the next place, I would fain know, whether it is not common for women to die in Childbed, as well as in Childbirth. Rachel was delivered of her Son Benjamin, and yet died shortly after, Gen. 35, 17.18. Phineas wife was delivered of her Son Ichobod, and yet died presently after. And if they died so, why not Pope Joan.  
I but can she be said to have gone from the Palace of St. Peter to St. John Lateran, whereas the Popes laid not then in the Vatican, but at St John Lateran itself, this 
e Bellar. de Rom. Pontif. cap. 24.  Bellarmin, and others do object; and Platina (says some) doth justify, that the Popes lay not in the Vatican till the year 1350, which was in the time of Boniface the Ninth.  
This is a great mistake, for Boniface the Ninth lived in the year 1390, not 1350, the like mistake there is in fathering such a fancy upon 
f In Vita Bonifac.  Platina. For Platina reports only, that the Vatican was repaired by Boniface the Ninth; he saith not it was first inhabited by him, though if he had, the Pope might have gone to see the Lateran; for he had more than one house to solace himself, and accommodate his retinue in besides the Lateran. He dwelled not always in that, 
g De vitis Pontif. in vita Gregorii.  for Gregory the Fourth, built two stately Fabrics for the Pope's use, as Anastasius testifies: and Leo the Third, (as you may read in the same Author) built another no less glorious, near to St. Peter's Church, which stands in the Vatican, wherein Leo the Fourth gave entertainment to Ludovike the Emperor. Besides, History doth not mention that she went from St. Peter's Palace to the Palace of the Lateran, but from St. Peter's Church to the Lateran Church, and yet dwell in the Palace by the Lateran; for Popes begin not their Procession from the next Church adjoining to them. Leo the Third appointed to go in Procession three several days before Ascension day; and he began the first day at one of St. Mary's Churches, and ended at St. Saviour's Church: the second day he began at St. Sabina the Martyr's Church, and ended at St. Paul's: and the third day he began at St. Crosses Church in Jerusalem, and ended at St. Laurences without the Walls; so that this objection I conceive is fully answered, and I shall endeavour to do the like to several others; and first, the Romanists do cavil much about her different names before her Papacy; some say she was called Agnes, 
h Platina in vita Leonis.  some Gilbert, some Isabel, some Margaret, some Tutta, or Jutta, and others Dorothy.  
This is a mere Forgery, for I cannot Read in any Ancient Writers, that she was called by any of these Names; in some of later time I find some difference, one calling her Gilbert, and another Agnes, but of all those whom I have here inserted, to assert the truth, and give in evidence against her, there is not above one or two, who either before or after her Papacy, gives her any other Name than Joan.  
Secondly, they say, that some of these Authors I have alleged to vindicate this truth, do clash and differ in opinion, some calling her John the 7, some John the 8, and others John the 9 and so saith Baronius.  
Baronius by his good leave quotes no Author for his Assertion, and therefore I must beg his pardon if I believe him not; for my belief shall extend in this no farther than reason shall direct it. Besides, whether she be John the 7, or 8, the difference is not so great, for the like may be demonstrated in other Popes, whom the Romish party cannot deny to be Popes. But who styles her John the 7, or John the 8. assuredly, neither Marianus Scotus, Sigibert, Gotefridus, Viterbiensis, Polonus, Platina, Palmerius, Trithemius, Fasciculus Temporum, Krantius, Alfonsus è Carthagena, nor Textor call her neither John the 7, nor John the 8, but plainly John, or Joan. Onuphrius indeed would persuade the credulous, that Platina styles her John the 8, in these terms; Johannes hic omnino 8, non 9, est ut à Platina describitur: Nam etsi Johannes foemina Papa quam profitetur, fuisset, non tamen numeri natam habere debuisset sacri or dinis non capax; that is, this John questionless is the Eighth, not the Ninth, as Platina accounts him; for though John the Woman, whom he talks of, had been Pope, yet seeing she was not capable of Priesthood, she should not go for one in the number of john's.  
This is another falsity; for Platina calls her not john the eight, and therefore Onuphrius, or some person else, hath abused him: For proof whereof, I appeal to Platina, Printed in the year 1481, which was the year wherein Platina died, and to the next Edition 1481 who speaking of john the Woman in those ancient Editions, he places no numeral note on her head, but gins his Story thus, Johannes Anglicus ex Maguntiaco oriundus, etc. John English born at Mentz, neither styles he the next 9, but 8; for coming to that Pope's life, 
i Platina moritur Romae, Anno 1481. Trithem. de Script. Ecclesiast, verbo Bartholomaei.  Johannes 8, Patria Romanus, etc. saith he, john the 8, by his Country a Roman, etc. for further proof of which later point, I appeal to the later Editions, whereunto Onuphrius his annotations are annexed; for though we read thus in them, johannes nonus Patria Romanus, etc. yet that that reading is false, and the Ancient reading true, appears by that which is written of the next Pope's life, to wit Martin the second, even in those later Editions. For 
l De vitis Pontif. in vita martin's.  Platina showing how Martin lived in the time of Charles the Third, adds presently, Quam ab johanne 8, Coronam accepisse scripsimus. Now Charles the third was crowned by john next before Martin, according to Platina, wherefore the next before Martin was john the 8, according to the opinion of the same man, and not john the ninth, as Onuphrius would have us believe. Which oversight 
k Such as that of Colen, 1574.  or fraud of Onuphrius was not so great, but that by this means he is forced to alter Platina his numeral note, set to all the johns that follow to call him john the tenth, whom Platina calls john the ninth; to call him the eleventh, whom Platina calls the tenth, and so unto the last Baldesar Cossa, who was in number of john's according to Ancient Editions the 23, and not the 24, as he is numbered in the Editions which Onuphrius comments upon.  
Now, whereas the Romanists do allege that the disagreeing of Authors about the time wherein she commenced her Papacy, and the time of her continuance therein, is an argument to prove the nullity of this Story, I say no such matter: in the first place, let them consider the disagreement that is among themselves. Some that have written of Pope Lucius, say he was a 
m Platina in vita Lucii.  Roman, some a 
n Anastasius in vita Lucii.  Tuscan, some say he was the 
o Idem. ibid.  Son of Lucinus, and others of 
p Plat. & Onuph. loco citato.  Porphyry. Some say he was chosen Pope in the year 253, some 254, some 259, and others 275. Some say he sat Pope 3 years, 3 months, and 3 days, some 3 years and 5 months, and some three years 7 months, and 6 days, which you may find in the Authors quoted in the Margin, and yet no man denies that Lucius was Pope.  
Again, do we not read the same difference in the Reign of Sergius the third; some will have it begin in 
q Mat. West. Flores Hist. ad annum 905.  905, others in 
r Polon. in Chron. ad an. 907.  907, etc. some writ that he succeeded 
s Herm. contract as circa an. 907.  Benedict the fourth, others that he followed 
t Luitprandi Chron.  Formosus, others 
u Baron. Annal.  Christopher, etc. yet, whoever denied that there was such a Pope.  
We read that the Carcase of Formosus was taken up out of his Grave by one of his Successors, 
x Baron. A●. Tom. 10. ad. an. 897.  and brought into Judgement before a Council of Bishops, and that it was devested of its Papal Robes, and clad with a Layman's garment, that it was Indicted, Arraigned, and Condemned: but among those that report this, there is a great disagreement. For some say it was taken up by Sergius the third, some by Steven the sixth, some say it had two fingers cut off, some three; some say the Head was chopped off, and some deny it; some say the Trunk was thrown into Tiber, and some say it had Layman's Burial: and yet who of the Romanists will deny the truth of this Story, by reason of these differences. Onuphrius denies it point blank, saying, quae de Formosi cadavere ex Sepultura à successoribus eruto dicuntur, proculdubio fabulae magis quam vero similia sunt, quod illorum qui de ea re scripserunt diversitate & repugnantia facile liquet. The report which goes concerning the digging up Formosus body out of his Grave by some of his Successors, are questionless sabulous and not true, which is apparent by the disagreement, and disconveniencies which are to be found among them who writ of it. Notwithstanding the manifold differences in circumstances, Baronius durst not cast it off, as Onuphrius. For he ingeniously confesseth, it was such a villainous prank, as was never played before; Intentatum hactenus scelus, and by reason of its barbarousness incredible; prae sui immanitate omnibus incredibile; yet he grants it true, and avows that they foully err, who deny what was done to the carcase of Formosus, looking on the report no better than a Fable. 
h Lib. 2. de Rom. Pont. cap. 5.  Bellarmin saith true in this, that saepissime accidit, ut constet de re & non constet de modo vel alia circumstantia. 
g Annal Tom. 10. ad an. 897. nu. 3.  It often happens, that men are sure such a thing is done, when yet they are not sure of the manner how it was done, or of some other such like circumstance. The difference among Witers about circumstance doth not weaken any man's argument touching the substance: if it do, I would have the Romanists for shame blot out St. Ursula and her fellows Holiday out of their 
i Octob. 21.  Calendar, and all the Prayers they make to them in their Primers, Portesses, and Breviaries; for there was never greater disagreement among the Relators of any Story, than among the Relators of that. Some say, that Ursula was the King of Scotland's Daughter, others say the King of Cornwall's Daughter; some say her Father was called Maurus, others Dionethus, or Dionatus, or Dionicus: the Husband she was to marry, some say, was King of Little-Brittain, and one calls him Aetherius, another Holofernes, and a third Conanus. Now in her company they say there were only 11000 Ladies and Gentlewomen, all Virgins, others say there were 60000 Country Maidens over and above: besides, there were divers Bishops, and Lords temporal, who accompanied them; yea, Cyriacus the Pope of Rome, like a good fellow, and a Trusty Trojan, left his Papacy, and followed these Pilgrims, as some say, though others deny it. For some say they went in pilgrimage to Rome, though others do not hold that probable: some say they were martyred on the Sea-coast; some say before the Gates of Colen. Lastly, some say that if any be buried in St. Vrsula's Church, though they be Infants newly baptised, the ground will cast them up again; though others say that that is a tale of a Tub, and others say it is as damned a lie as e'er was hatched.  
But to proceed, our Adversaries do say, that Athens was utterly destroyed at that time, when it was storied John English, afterwards Pope Joan travelled thither, as a Trickery Mate with her learned Companion, to study Arts and Sciences. I utterly deny it, for Paulus 
k Lib. 8.  Aemilius writes, that Gotefridus was made Duke of Athens, and Prince of Achaia about the year 1220, and afterwards that certain Pirates invading the Country of Greece, slew the Duke of Athens, who was of the house of Brennas, and took the City. In like manner we read in 
l In Hen. 3. ad an. 1252. pag. 1112.  Mat. Paris, that Johannes de Basing-stocks, Archdeacon of Legria, who died in the year 1252. studied at Athens, and that there he learned many things unknown to the Western Churches. Besides Aeneas Sylvus, who lived since that, doth justify that in his time Athens was not totally demolished, but carried the show of a pr●tty Town. For Civitas Atheniensis (quoth he) quondam nobilissima fuit, etc. eadem nostro tempore parvi oppidi speciem g●rit. So that the exception aforesaid, doth no way prejudice the truth of this Story.  
Having driven them from this poor Sconce, this slender shelter, I shall pursue them to another, which is grounded on what C. Bellarmin writes, That there were no Schools for learning at that time, neither in Athens, nor any part of Graecia, (saith he) 
m Lib. 3. de Rom. Pontif. cap. 24.  Constat eo tempore neque Athenis neque usquam alibi in Graecia fuisse ulla Gymnasia literarum. This he endeavours to prove, first by Synesius, who lived a little after St. Basil, and Nazianzens' time, who 
n In Epist. ult. ad fratrem suum.  writ to his Brother, that Athens retained only the bare name of an University. And secondly, he makes use of Zonoras' and Cedrenus to back the former, who record, that in the sole Reign of Michael the Emperor, about the year 856, Bernardus Caesar restored Learning, Cum usque ad illud tempus per annos plurimos ita fuissent extincta omnia studia sapientia in Graecia, ut ne vestigium quidem ullum extaret.  
And doth this import think you, that in Synesiius his opinion there was no University at Athens: I am of the opinion that Synesius meant thereby, that Athens was an University, though nothing near so famous and flourishing as heretofore, Questionelss when 
o Bernardi Epist. 193.  St. Bernard writ, that Peter Abailard had nothing of a Monk, but the name, and the Cowl, his meaning was not that Peter was no Monk, but a sorry one. And I am the rather induced to understand the words of Synesius to be so: because Athens in St, Basils' time (about some 40 years before Synesius) was held the Mother of Learning, and in regard thereof called Golden Athens by Greg. 
q In Monodia in Bas Magni vitam.  Nazianzen. For who can think in so few years, Learning should quite be quenched, and that so famous an University should in so short a time be utterly decayed; but suppose there was no University in Athens in Synesius his time: what is that to prove there was no University in Pope joan's time at Athens, which was 400 years after? That University might revive, and get new Life in so many years; as it did: for two years after Synesius his time, Boethius went to study at Athens, teste Baronio, adding further that the study of Philosophy was revived there in those days. 
p Baron. Annal. Tom. 3. ad an. 354.   
As for Cedrenus, and Zonorus, Bellarmin wrongs them both in bringing them in to witness, that there were no Schools in any part of Graecia in Pope joan's times. For they say no more, but that Learning was not regarded a long time before Bardus Caesar: they do not say that it was quite extinct, but almost: Philosophia neglecta jacebat, ac propè omnino extincta erat, ut ne scintilla quidem ejus apparet. Bardus Caesar added Life to it by erecting Schools for all the Liberal Sciences and appointing Public Professors, and giving them stipends out of the Exchequer, as Cedrenus and Zonoras' do writ; but certainly he raised it not up simply to Life; for had it been stark dead, how could he so suddenly have gotten Professors to furnish his Schools? We may read in Zonoras', that at the same time there was a matchless Philosopher called Leo who studied at Constantinople, and had to his Scholars many skilful Mathematicians. Moreover it cannot be denied, that about the year 680 there was kept a General Council at Constantinople, wherein there were many eminent Bishops of Greece, and among the rest the 
r Conc. Const. 6. Act. 17.  Bishop of Athens. There was another Council kept at Nice, and 100 years after, viz. about the 780 at which there were more Bishops of Greece, than at the former. There was a third Council held at Constantinople which did exceed in number either of the former two, about the year 
t Bellarm. loco citat.  870: and how is it credible so many Councils consisting of many Bishops should be kept in Greece, and yet Greece utterly without Learning.  
Now as these abusers of truth deny that there was any Learning at that time in Greece, so they will not allow that there was any 
s Bellar. lib. 1. de Conc. cap. 5.  open Profession of Learning in those days in Rome, because they will gainsay the truth of Pope joan's going thither, and that as she professed publicly all manner of Learning, whereby the greatest Doctors there became her Scholars, so she preached, and wonderfully engaged the Ears, and Hearts of her Auditors.  

u Mat. Westmon. Flores Hist. ad an. 727.  History makes appear, that Ina (one of our Saxon Kings) did build a School in Rome a little before the days of Pope Joan in the year 727, to this end, that the Kings of England, and their Children, the Bishops, Priests, and the rest of the Clergy might repair thither to be instructed in the Catholic faith, and afterwards return home, which School flourished in the reign of King 
x Ibid. add an. 794.  Offa which was in the year 795, and continued at least till Alfred's time. For we Read, that Marinus, who was Pope in the year 883, freed it from all payments at the request of Alfred. Now is it likely that such a School was built, and maintained for such a purpose, where no Learning was publicly professed? Moreover we read of many other Schools kept in the same City, in the time of Steven the 6, in the year 885. For all the Schools in Rome with alacrity concurred, and brought Steven the sixth to the Palace of Lateran, and Stephen was troubled, he had not wherewith to gratify them: thus saith Anastasius in the Life of this Pope; and is it reason to believe these Schools were without Masters, Readers, and Professors?  
But now it is time to introduce that which Cardinal Baronius thinks will knock ' i'th' head and bury this story in perpetual oblivion; and that is thus; saith he, if Leo the fourth lived to the year 855, than Marianus Scotus, the first promoter of this story, told a manifest untruth, in reporting that this Joan was chosen Pope in the year 853; for by his confession she succeeded Leo the 4, but Leo the 4 lived to the year 855; Ergo Marianus Scotus lies, etc. Anno octingentessimo quinquagesimo tertio, Leo Papa, obiit Kalend. Augusti; huic success it Johanna Mulier annis duobus, mensibus quinque, diebus quatuor. In the year 853 Leo the Pope died on the Kalends of August, and Joan the woman succeeded after him for the space of two years, five months, and four days.  
You may see the fallacy of this Cardinal; for these are not Marianus words, for he sets not down the year precisely, but in numeral figures in the Margin. And it is plain by conference of years, that he meant to note out the 855 for her entrance, and not the 853. For Benedict the 3. who succeeded her, entered not by his account till the year 857; now if she had entied 
y Consult Marianus Chronicle and you will be throughly satisfied.  in 853, she had been Pope 4 years, or there abouts: whereas he plainly notes, that she was Pope but two years, five months, and four days. Secondly, it is plain by Marianus Scotus, that Sergius the 2 began his Popedom in the year 844 and sat 3 years; and it is as plain, that Leo the 4, next successor to Sergius, began his in the year 847, and sat 8 years; now add these three odd sums to 840, and the product will be 855, so that whosoever succeeded Leo the 4, must begin in the year 855, and that was Joan the Woman Pope in Marianus his opinion.  

z Flor. in c. 25. nu. 3.  Florimondus would make us believe, that the Moon is made of a Green Cheese; for, (says he) we read nothing in History of her reforming the Church; of her determining of causes, and questions usually proposed by Bishops to them that are Popes; of any intercourse, or affairs that she had with King, or Emperor; wherefore certainly, had there been any such Joan a Pope, her actions, as well as her bare name would have been registered by Historians.  
He might as well question, whether there ever was an Anastasius the third, who sat two years, and upward, and yet no Historian tells what he did in that affair; only Platina writes, he acted nothing worth commemoration. We read of no great matter done by Leo the seventh, who sat 3 years 6 months, and was as very a Drone as the other, for any thing we read; he neither reform the Church, nor resolved any Bishop his doubts, nor intermeddled with the affairs of Princes; and whereas the Author aforesaid may pretend, that in that age wherein Pope Joan lived, there was great controversies between the East and Western 
a Platina in vita Anastasii 3 nil memoria dignum Cestum est.  Church, that in it many Princes and Emperors reigned, who were as much signalised for their virtue, as royal dignity: that in it many men of great learning lived, and therefore if there had been any such monster then, they could not have past her by in silence. No more they did, as I have already proved, neither was there more variety of matter fell out in that age, than ordinary; though some would have us believe, that between the Eastern and Western Churches, there was a great controversy, and contention about Images, and that many Councils were held, etc. this is a positive untruth; for all stories testify, that the difference between those two Churches about Images, began in the former ages; and that though they continued some few years after the year 800. yet there was no talk of that matter for divers years before Pope joan's days. And as for the Learned men of that age, Baronius gives an account of them; qui sciret tantum Grammaticam isto seculo rudi, Doc●●ssimus habebatur. These went for learned men in that age, who were but bare Grammarians: and therefore were they never so many, Pope joan's acts might pass unwritten.  
If any conjecture that this Pope Joan did never inaugure, and crown Dukes, Princes, Kings, or Emperors, I may answer, did every Pope inaugure, and crown them, and though our Antagonists say, that in that age the Emperors themselves had such a reverend esteem of the Roman Popes, that they would not undertake the rule, and government of their people, except they gave them their consent, and crowned them; and for proof of this they allege, that Adrian the first baptised two Sons 
b Baron. Annal. Tom. 9 ad an. 802. nu. 12.  of Charles the great, and after that anointed them Kings.  
This is easily answered, for this happened in the year 781, as 
c Baron. Annal. Tom. 9 ad an. nu. 2.  Baronius observes and not in that age wherein Pope Joan lived. It is not to be imagined that every Pope in that age inaugured some Dukes, Princes, Kings, or Emperors; for we do not find that Eugenius the Second in the year 824; Valentinus in 827; Gregory the 4 who succeeded him; Sergius the 2 in 844, or Pope Leo the 4, who sat in the year 847 inaugured, or crowned any of them, but this Pope last mentioned, who anointed Alfred, the youngest Son of Athelwulsus King of England which assisted him not, nor furthered him to the attaining of the Kingdom; for till the Death of his three Elder Brethren, notwithstanding the Pope's anointing, he lived like a Subject, not like a King, wherefore though Pope Joan inaugured, or crowned no such Persons, it must not thereupon be concluded, there was no Pope joan. But this we read, that contulit sacros ordines, promovit Episcopos, ministravit Sacramenta, caeteraque Romanorum Pontificum exercuit munera; she gave Orders, she made Bishops, she administered the Sacraments, and performed all other offices belonging to the Papacy; this truth is testified not only by john Bal●, but by 
d De vanitate Scient cap. 62. de sectis Monasticis.  Cornelius Agrippa, a man highly commended by 
e Lib. 1 Epistol, Epist. 38.  Leo the 10, and in a Book of his solemnly privileged by Charles the 5.  
And let me not forget to answer one grand objection more, which the Papists allege against the truth of this story; Ratio i●●l●●tabilis, saith Genebrard in his Chronology, and this is it. 
f Leo 9 Epist. ad Michael. Episc. Constantinop. cap. 23.  About 170 years after this invented fabulous election of Pope joan, in the year of our Lord 1020, the Church, and the Patriarch, of Constantinople being in some contention with Rome, Leo the 9 wrote a Letter to Michael the Patriarch of Constantinople reprehending certain abuses of that Church, and among others that they were said to have promoted Eunuches to Priesthood, and thereby also a greater inconvenience fallen out, that a woman had craftily crept in to be a Patriarch. Now no doubt (say they) Leo would never have durst to write thus, if the Patriarch might have returned the matter back upon him again, and said, this was but a slanderous report, falsely raised against the Church of Constantinople▪ but that a woman indeed had been promoted in the Roman Church.  
This argument is very weak in my judgement, for any to presume in this, that Leo would never object that against Constantinople, whereof Rome itself might be convinced; to prove this no unanswearable argument, it is usual for the Papists to object that against others, whereof they themselves stand most guilty; and with the Proverb, cry Whore first. How do they exclaim against the Clergy of England for want of Continency? and yet is it not well known, how their Priests, and Monks, like 
g Jerem. 5.8.  fed horses, have neighed after their Neighbour's Wives, and their Nuns have opened their feet (to use the 
h Ezech. 16.25.  Prophet's phrase when he speaketh of such like Light-skirts) to every one that passed by, and have multiplied their Whoredoms. Taceo de fornicationibus, et adulteriis a quibus qui alieni sunt, probro caeteris ac ludibrio esse solent Spadonesque, aut Sodomitae appellantur, saith 
i De Prasulibus Simoniacis in Bibliotheca Patrum. Paris 1576. p. 655.  Nich. Clemangis, speaking of the Romish Priests. I say nothing of your Priests fornications, and adulteries, from which crimes, if any man be free, he is made a laughing stock to the rest, and either called an Eunuch or a Sodomite.  
Laici usque adeo persuasum habent nullos caelibes esse, ut in plerisque parochiis non alitervelint Presbyterum tolerare, nisi Concubinam habeat: quovel sic suis sit consultum uxoribus, quae ne sic quidem usquequaque sunt extra periculum, saith the same man. The Lay people are so convinced of the incontinence of all Priests, that, willingly they would not admit of a Parish Priest, unless he have a Whore of his own, that so they might preserve the Chastity of their own Wives; and yet fall short of their expectations, by reason of the lechery of the Priests.  
Fornicantur complures Monialium cum suis Praelatis, ac Monachis, et conversis, et in Monasteriis plures parturiunt filios, et filias quos ab iisdem Praelatis Monachis et Conversis fornicarie, seu ex incestuoso coitu conceperunt, saith Theodoricus de Niem, Secretary to Pope Vrban the 6, thus proceeding, et quod miserandum est nonnullae ex hujusmodi Monialibus aliquos foetus earum mortificant, infants in lucem editos trucidant, etc. Nuns committed fornication with Bishops, Monks, and Converts, and are delivered of sons and daughters within their Monasteries, which were got by those Persons Fornicator-like, if not incestuously; and which is most to be lamented, very many of these Nuns by internal receptions destroy the fruit of their womb; and many kill them after they are born.  

k Clemangis de corrupto Eccles. statu.  Quid obsecro aliud sunt hoc tempore pu●llarum Monasteria, nisi quaedam Veneris execranda prostibula & jasoivorum, et impudicorum juvenum ad libidines explendas receptacula? ut idem sit bodie puellam velare, quod & publice ad scortandum exponere? what are Nunneries I pray now, but cursed Stews, and Meeting-places for wanton, and shameless youth to satisfy their lusts in? So that now it is all one to make a Wench a Nun, and to make her a Whore.  

l Herald Huntingdon, hist. lib. 7. ad ann. 1125. Roger Hoveden Annal. pars prior in Hen. 1.1126.  Johannes Cremensis, a Romish Cardinal, held a Council at London in the year 1125, wherein he inveighed bitterly against such Priests, as kept Concubines, saying, summum scelus esse a latere meretricis ad corpus Christi conficiendum surgere; it was a damnable sin for a Priest to arise from the side of a Whore, and go and administer the Body of Christ; yet he himself loved a Whore with all his heart; for we may read in our English Stories, ipse cum eodem die Corpus Christi confecisset cum meretrice post vesperam interceptus est; he himself was taken with a Whore the same night after he had said Mass, ipso facto.  
Again, they condemn us of ignorance, saying, we dare not dispute with them in matter of Religion, and if any of us are so confident, we are easily baffled, being not able to produce so many arguments in our own defence as our 
m Bristo● M●riu●. 3.  Adversaries do for us, applauding themselves, and debasing us, and yet it is easy to prove that their Priests, and Monks are generally like the threescore thousand 
n Ionas. 4.11.  Ninivites, who had not so much wit as to discern between their left hand, and their right.  
Videas admitti in Sacerdotium caeterosque sacros ordines homines idiotas & illiteratos, etc. saith Clemangis, speaking of the ignorance of the Romish Clergy, thou mayst see ignorant and illiterate persons advanced to the Priesthood and other holy orders, which can hardly read; and farther complains; how many are there now adays preferred to Bishoprics, who so much as cursorily have neither read, or heard, or learned the holy Scriptures: and saith 
o De Sac. eccles. Minist. Benes. lib. 1. cap. 11.  Duarenus, Hoc saeculo Episcopatus & Sacerdotia indoctissimis hominibus, & a religione alienis deferri solent— hodie Episcopi nostri (paucis exceptis) sacrarum literarum scientia caeteris ex populo longe inferiores sunt. In this age Bishoprics and Personages are bestowed on most unlearned and irreligious men, etc. and saith, 
p Comment. de dictis & fact. Alfons. Regis lib. 2. Apothegm. 17.  Aeneas Silvius, pudeat Italiae sacerdotes, quos ne semel quidem legisse constat novam L●gem. It is a shame to Italy that her Priests never read over the New Testament: and as another says, Ecclesiarum regimina minus dignis (Romae videlice●) committuntur qui ad Malos magis quam homines pascendos & regendos essent idonei, that the government of the Churches even at Rome, is committed to unworthy Persons, who are fit to look to the keeping of Mules than Men.  

q De corrupto Eccles. statu.  Clemangis speaking of the Roman Worthies, saith, Siquis desidiosus est, siquis a labour abhorrens siquis in otio luxuriari volens ad sacerdotium convolat: quo adepto, se statim caeteris sacerdotibus adjungit, qui magis secundum Epicurum, quam secundum Christum viventes & cauponulas seduli frequentantes, potando commessando, pransitando convivando cum tessaris & pilo ludendo tempora tota consumunt, etc. If there be any lazy fellow, one that will not work, but indulge his senses he is restless till he is be-priested, and when he is made one, and hath gotten a Benefice, he consorts with his fellow Priests as sensual as himself, and then he and they live more like Epicures than Christians; Drinking, Eating, Revelling, Playing, Damning and being tippled, Swear and Fight, whilst others as they come reaking hot from filthy carnal satisfactions, address themselves to the Holy Altar.  
Asciscuntur nunc (saith 
r In vita Sozimi.  Platina) non modo servi & vulgo concepti ac nati verum etiam flagitioso quoque geniti. Now adays not only Servants and vulgar Persons are admitted to be of the Clergy, but every vile fellow, and the brats of such like Persons.  
And saith 
s Panopliae lib. 4. cap. 77. p. 405.  Lindan, ex Aulicis perditissimus & quod omni aetate fuit post Christi annorum memoriam inauditam ex militibus deploratissimis iisque sanguinariis Dei loco ad Ecclesiae collocantur; imo repente intruduntur gubernacula quid quod puerilis & adolescentulis creduntur haec tractanda. The worst of Courtiers forlorn and bloody Soldiers (a thing never heard of before among Christians) are all on a sudden thrust in upon the Church to manage it in God's stead, yea, Boys and youngsters are made Bishops and Prelates in the Church.  
As the Papists tax us with ignorace, so they do with falsehood, of which they themselves are most guilty. For instance 
t In Epistola 〈◊〉. ad Impera●●rem.  Agatho a Pope avoucheth, that the Roman Church never swarved from the tradition of the Apostles, that she never gave Ear to novelties, that the Pope's Predecessors had ever boldly strengthened their Brethren according to Christ's commandment to Peter; for proof hereof, he appeals to all the world. In like manner Pope Nicolas boasts, that none of the Popes was ever suspected to have held an error; and Victor was supposed to have held, that Christ was pure man and not God, which is attested by 
x Hist. Eccl. lib. 5. cap. 28.  Eusebius: Zepherinus 
u In Epistola 1. ad Michaelem.  was suspected of Montanism, so saith 
y Contra Praxe●m.  Tertullian: Marcellinus sacrificed to Idols according to 
z In Pontificali in vita Marcelli.  Damasus his report, and acknowledged by Bellarmin, though denied in part by Baronius: Liberius subscribed to the Arian heresy, so say ●●hanasius, Jerome and Sozomen, and to be short, that Honorius the first was a Monothelite, and for that condemned by name in the sixth and seventh general Councils. From hence I gather, that Pope Agatho was not Infallible in his judgement, neither am I apt to believe that the Sons of that Church are less fallible. It is not their bare saying that this is so and that not so, but the proof they produce must be considered, according to validity.  
And now the Papists, not knowing hardly what to say for themselves, suggest this, 
a Onuph. Ann●●at. in Plat. in vita Johan. 8. Harding in his Answer 10 Ep. Jewel● Apology.  that though men at that time had been so far bewitched or mope-eyed, as not to distinguish a man from a woman, yet God himself, who appointed and ordained the Seat of Peter to be the rule and direction of the whole Church, should never have departed so far from his merciful providence, as to suffer the same to be polluted by a woman incapacitated for holy orders, and a Puttana Errants to boot.  
I would willingly understand why might not the Almighty suffer that Church to be polluted by a Woman, as by so many Monsters and Beasts of Me●, as several Pontificial Writers have discovered, who ingeniously, rather than they would prejudice, have confessed the wild actions of their brethren to their everlasting shame and infamy. Why might she not fit there as well as 
b Fascicul. Temp. add an. ●14.  Sabinian, whom though a Pope, I must call by reason of his exorbitant wicked life; I cannot call that miscreant by a name bad enough, and as he lived sinfully, he died fearfully. Why might she not sit there as well as Stephen the 6, who digged up the Carcase of Pope Formosus his Predecessor, and as if living, had it arraigned before a Council of Bishops, and condemned, etc. as I have afore recited. Why might She not sit there as well as 
c Plat. in vita Bonif.  Boniface the seventh, who rob St. Peter's Church, and fled for a time to Constantinople, who afterwards by Simony, and the Murder of two Popes, got into the Papacy, who in mischief, excelled all the Russins' and Bandities' of his time for cruelty, and for the Ruin of his Country Sylla and Catiline come short of him. Thus much 
d Annal. Tom. 10. ad annum 985. nu. 1.  Baronius confesseth, and at length as he lived like a Brute, so he died like a Beast; these are his words, Bonifacius 7 annumerandus inter Famosos latrones & potentissimos grassatores atque patriae proditores Sulla's & Catalina's horumque similes quosomnes superavit sacrilegus iste turpissima niece duorum Pontisicum. And why might she not sit there as well as Sylvester the 2 that famous Conjurer, who gave himself both body and Soul to the Devil, that he might get the Popedom, and whilst living was hurried away whither no mortal ever yet could tell. Platina, in his Lives of the Popes, writes thus of him, that ambitione & diabolica dominandi cupiditate impulsus, largitione primo quidem Archiep●scopatum Rhemensem inde Ravennatem adeptus Pontificatum, postremo majore conatu adjuvante Diabolo consecutus est hac tamen lege ut post mortem totus illius esset cujus fraudibus tantam dignitate adep us erat: Sylvester the 2, being damnable ambitious, got first by bribery the Arch Bishopric of Rheims, then that of Ravenna, and after that by the Devils help, the Bishopric of Rome, yet upon this condition, that when he died he should be wholly his, by whose means he had attained such dignity: Sigibert confesseth in a manner the same thing, for he saith, non per ostium intrare creditur, he got the Popedom by indirect course, for a quibusdam Negromantiae arguitur, he was suspected of Negromancy; the like is affirmed by Cardinal 
e De vita & gestis Hildebrandi.  Benno, by 
f In Chron. add an. 1007  Martinus Polonus, by 
g De vitis Pontif. in Sylvest. 2.  Stella a Venetian, by 
h Supplement. Chron. ad annum 997  Philippus Bergomensis, by 
i In Polychron. lib. 6. cap. 14. etc.  Ranulfus Cestrensis, by Matthaeus Westmonasteriensis, by Fasciculus Temporum, by Charanza, and by Aeneas Silvius.  
William of Malmsbury, having related the same Story in effect with the above named Writers, supposeth that some might reply, this is but a made Tale, Sed haec vulgata ficta crederet, aliquis eo quod solet Populus literatorum famam laedere dicens illum, loqui cum Daemone quem in aliquo viderint excellentem opere; because the common people are wont to say, that Scholars, who are singular or excellent in any thing, are cunning men, or deal with the Devil; yet he concludes, that he believes it for true, for mihi vero fidem facit de istius sacrilegio inaudita mortis excogitatio, 
k Lib. 2. de gestis Rerum Aug. cap. 10. fol. 36.  saith he, I am verily persuaded Sylvester was such a Villain, because of the strangeness of his death, Name curse moriens excarnificaret ipse sui corpor is horrendus Lanista nisi novi sceleris conscius esset? For why should the Butcherly fellow have torn his own flesh as he did, but that he was guilty of some strange sin.  
To proceed, why might not Pope Joan sit in the Papal Chair as well as Benedict the ninth tha● ugly Monster, as Platina calls him, Teterrimum Monstrum, who got the Popedom when he was 12 years old, 
l Sigonius de Regno Italiae, lib. 7. ad annum 1048.  who when he was cast out for his unworthiness by strong hand, got it again within few days after, and for fear he could not keep it long, sold it to another for money: who after his Death appeared partly like an Ass, partly like a Bear, confessing that he carried such a shape, because he lived so much like a Beast in his life.  
Why might she not sit in St. Peter's Chair as well as 
m Pet. Crinitus de honesta discip. lib. 8. cap. 13.  Boniface the eight, who when according to custom, on Ash-Wednesday, when he should have laid ashes upon an Archbishops head, and religiously told him, that he was but Ashes, and should return to Ashes, he cast them in the Arch-Bishops face and eyes, maliciously telling him, that he was a Gibelline, and that he should die with the Gibellines; of whom Caelestinus his Predecessor, a man famous as they say for Miracles, 
n Ascendisti ut vulpes, regnabis ut Leo, morieris ut Canis, & it a sane contigit, Tho. Walsingham in Edu. 1.  professed that as he entered life a Fox, he should reign like a Lion, and die like a dog, which fell out accordingly.  
Why might she not sit there as well as Gregory the 7, commonly known by the name of Hildebrand, who set the 
o Abbas Vspergensis in Chron. ad an. 1080.  Church and Commonwealth on fire; who hired a villain to tumble down great stones from the Battlements of a Church upon the Emperor's head, to squeeze him to pieces, whilst he was at prayers, as Cardinal Benno reports, who cast the Sacrament into the fire, who usually carried about him a Conjuring-book; who sound basted his Predecessor Alexander; who wrested the Scriptures to cover his lewdness: 
p Florentinus Vigorniersis in Chron. page 641. Mat. Paris in Guil. Conquest. An. 1086.  who at his death confessed, that the Devil set him on work to provoke God to wrath against the World.  
Why might she not sit there as well as John the 23. (Onuph. Appendix 24,) who was fit for the Camp than for the Church; for Profaneness, than for Piety; as knowing no Faith, no Religion at all; who openly professed that there was no life after this, (— post mortem nulla voluptas) but that it was with Men as with Beasts: who, in a word, lived so scandalously, that he was commonly called the Devil Incarnate.  
Why might she not sit there as well as John the 12. 
q Luitprand. Hist. de Europe. gestarum, lib 6. cap. 7.8. & 10.  who made Deacons in a Stable, who made a Boy of ten years old a Bishop; who made the Lateran a common Bawdy-house; who drank to the Devil; who, when he was at Prayers, invoked Jupiter and Venus, and other Idolatrous Gods of the Heathens, who at length was slain even by the Devil himself, whilst he was committing Adultery, as I said before. If it cannot be denied that God hath suffered these and as many as wicked as any of these (except the last recited) to seat themselves in St. Peter's Chair, we need not wonder with 
r Part. 2. Tit. 16. cap. 1. Sect. 7.  Antonius at the story of Pope Joan, and say, oh the depth of the Wisdom of God, how incredible are his judgements! etc.  
And now let me ask any Romanist this question: how should this tale of Pope Joan arise if there had not been such a Pope; Was there ever such a Smoke and no fire; such a report, and no Probability: To this some Romanists do say, that great lies do always arise out of some Truth: omnia insignia mendacia ab aliqua veritate originem habent, saith Onuphrius in his notes on Platina in the Life of Pope Joan, and so did this, confessing that John the twelfth was a Whoremaster, and among other of his Bona Roba's, or Wenches that he kept, there was one called Joan, who was all in all with him, and ruled the roast. Now the people perceiving what interest she had in, and power over him, contemning him, gave her the appellation of Pope. Whereupon the Church's enemies took occasion to slander the Church, as though the Church had (indeed) a woman Pope. And this 
s Loco supr▪ citato.  Onuphrius proves out of Luitprandus Ticinensis a Writer of that Age, who affirms, that John the 12 had three famous Strapping Whores, of whom the handsomest, and consequently the best beloved, was called Joan. In answer hereunto, I read in 
t Lib. 2. cap. 6. & 7.  Luitprandus, in the place cited by Onuphrius, that John the 12 kept one eminent whore whom he called Raynera, whom he made Governor of many Cities, and on whom he bestowed many Golden Crosses, and Chalices belonging to St. Peter, and relates further, that he kept another called Stephana, and that he debauched and vitiated married wives, widows, and Maidens, who came to visit the Apostolical Churches, and withal writes, that he kept a third called Anna, who was a widow, and not so, but kept her Niece to boot; making the Palace Lateran no better than a Bawdy-house, but he nowhere mentions any Joan, on whom that continent and worthy head of the Romish Church John the 12 doted. Onuphrius, I suppose, wanting Spectacles mistook Joanna for Anna.  
I but say some, John the 9 was made Bishop of Bonony, then of Ravena, and at last Pope of Rome, by the means of one Theodora a very famous Whore, who in those days, at Rome overruled all affairs Ecclesiastical or Political. Now it being generally observed how prevalent this Theodora was with this John, and howmuch a slave he was to all her Humours and commands, he was concluded to have deserved rather the name of a woman than a man, and therefore called him Joan, not John; and upon this account arose the report of a Pope Joan; and to back this assertion, 
u Annal. l. 4.  Aventinus a German is produced; but Genebrard, who is a professed rigid Papist, differs in opinion; for saith he, Aventinus lib. 4. Annal. fabullam esse asserit a Theodora nobili scorto ortam; ego vero a recentioribus adulatoribus in Romanae sedis odium; that is Aventinus holdeth that this tale arose by reason of a noble Whore called Theodora; but I think some later sycophantising Parasyts of the Emperors, invented this story, to discredit the Papal seat: I know not but that Genebrard may be as authentic as Aventinus, since he spent 
x Prafatio Chronog. ad Pontacum.  10 whole years upon his Chronicle.  
Besides, suppose we allow that John who was first Bishop of Bonony, then of Ravenna, and lastly of Rome, came to those Bishoprics by the means of Theodora a famous Whore; in respect whereof, Cardinal Baronius questions whether he was a Pope or not, and terms him sometimes 
y Annal. ad annum. 912. num. 12.  Pseudopontifex, and Antipapa, a false Pope, and Antipope, 
z Ad annum 928. num. 2.  sometimes intrusor & detentor injustus Apostolicae sedis; an intruder and an Usuper of the Apostolical chair; yet I deny that this was John the 9, but John the 10: John the 9 took not indirect courses to gain the Papacy, but lawfully and honestly, and died naturally, as the said 
a Annal. Tom. 10. ad annum 901. num. 1.  Cardinal reports: but so did not this; 
b Frodoard Hist. Rhem. lib. 4. cap. 19  This confirmed a Child under five years of age in the Archbishopric of Rheims, at which fact Baronius stands amazed, and could not forbear saying; than this 
c Annal. num. 11.  turpior nullus cujus sicut ingressus in Cathedram Petri infamissimus, ita & exitus nefandissimus: there was never a filthier fellow than this. This entered with infamy and died fearfully: this was stifled with a pillow by the procurement of one as famous for Whoredom as Theodora who preserved him.  
Now suppose he was John the ninth; if his lose carriage with Theodora gave occasion of the report of a Woman Pope, why was it not recorded, as happening in his time, but above forty years before his time; John the ninth was constituted Pope in the year 901, yet this story is recorded as happening about the year 854, to this the Romanists reply, that this came to pass by the subtlety of the reporters, for say 
d Florimond. cap. 30. nu. 8.  they, about the year 800, the Empress, who in a manner ruled all the world, was called Theodora. Now these trifling Tale-tellers (to use their own words) hearing of a Pope Joan in Theodoras' time, chopped it into the time of Theodora the Empress, who lived about thirty years before Theodora the Harlot.  
I do think this rather argues simplicity than subtlety in the Reporters; for Cui bono, whether it happened in the one or the other Theodoras' time? But it carries no colour of truth with it; for Theodora the Empress never carried any sway in Rome at all. At Constantinople for a while, in the time of her Son's minority, she had great power: 
e Baron. annal. Tem. 10. ad an. 855.  but in Pope joan's time she was turned out of office or devested of that Power she had assumed in Constantinople, nay, she was deposed of her regency, and thrust into a Monastery where she was detained till the Expiration of her life.  
Now, since this fallacy will stand them in no stead, they imagine this tale, as they call it, arose from John the 8, for John the 8, say they behaved himself not like a man to Photius Patriarch of Constantinople, but sheepishly, and like a woman; for he received Photius into Communion, who was excommunicated by his Predecessors. John the 8, suffered himself to be overcome by half a man, whereupon, in reproach, he was called, not Papa said Papissa, and this they farther on Baronius, of which he writes in his Annals; but how justly let any judge, since he is one of those who affirm that the rumour of the Church of Constantinoples' oversight, in suffering a woman to creep in to be Patriarch, occasioned this tale against Rome, according to his own words, quae ita erant fama vulgata de Ecclesia Constantinop. conversa in Romanan Ecclesiam a schismatibus ●a● odio prosequentibas, & calumniis proscindentibus quis non intelligat, saith Baronius in his Annals, who is he so ignorant, that understands not that what was reported of Constantinople, the same was turned by Schismatics as spoken against Rome.  
With what honesty can he affirm both, since 
f Annal. Tom. 10. ad annum 853, nu. 66.  he acknowledgeth if there had been but some flying tale of any such accident at Rome in former days, Pope Leo should first have cleared it before he had charged the Church of Constantinople with the like. And was there not such a flying report of a woman Pope before Leo the 9 his time, in Baronius time? How then did John the 8 occasion such a report who lived 140 years before Leo.  
Many more objections I could here insert, and answer, but that I think I have produced enough already to convince any man , of the reality and the truth of this Story, that there was a Pope Joan. But suppose this Story to be true, what prejudice is this to the Church of Rome? Yes, very much, for if she was Pope, than it will necessarily follow, that the Roman Church once hoped headless; for the Church according to 
g Bellar. lib. 3. de Ecclesia. cap. 2.  Bellarmin, is defined to be a company of Christian-men professing one Faith, under one head, to wit, the Pope: but she, however she carried the name of Pope, was no Pope: 
h Rhem. annot. in 1 Cor. 14. v. 34.  for a Woman is not capable of Holy Orders: wherefore a Woman cannot play the Pope; therefore all the time of Pope Joan, the Church hoped headless.  
The Papists do acknowledge this for a great inconvenience, that the Church should lack a true Head for the time, but that's not so great a matter cry they: for so she doth when any Pope dieth, till another be chosen. If this be granted, what a pitiful case is the Church in then? Since Christ's time above 250 Popes, and by consequence, than the Church hath been headless 250 times, yea and sometimes between the death of one Pope, and the choosing of another, there have passed many days, many months, and some years, as you may read in History, and particularly Bodin, that after Faelix, sometimes Duke of Savoy, St. Peter's Chair stood empty Ten years. Now, if the Church be headless, where lies her understanding; what shall guide her when she is bereft of her Head?  
But let us weigh another objection, did not (say they) St. Austin hold this opinion upon supposition of a like case, that the Church of Christ should not be prejudiced? Did not 
k Austin. Epist. 165. ad literas cujusdam Donatist.  he, having recited the Pope's Names from the time of Christ to his days, make this demand? What if any Judas or Traitor had entered among these, or been chosen by the Error of Men? and answereth presently, Non praejudicaret Ecclesiae, & innocentibus Christianis. According to the body of the Popish Doctrine this must be denied: for the Papists hold that the Pope is head of the Church, and that it is necessary to salvation to acknowledge him the head; but so did not St. Austin. The Papists hold that in a true Church, one Bishop must lawfully succeed another, or all is dashed out; but so did not St. Austin: for he puts the case, that some Traitor suprepsisset, that is, had come in not orderly into the Bishop of Rome's seat: and yet resolves that that was not prejudical to God's Church. Let the Papist conform himself in these two points of the Pope's head-ship and succession to St. Augustine's judgement, and, than he may the better say in this case of Pope Joan, that which St. Austin said in the case proposed; that she had not prejudiced the Church of Christ.  
Now if it be true that there was a Pope Joan, the Church of Rome must be discarded as no true Church: for thus I argue, that is no true Church which cannot give in plain authentical writing, the lawful, orderly, entire, (without any breach) and sound sincere succession of Bishops: but your Church if Joan was Pope, cannot give in plain authentical writing the lawful, orderly, entire, etc. For by reason of her, Benedict the 3 could not orderly succeed Leo the 4; for she was a bar to his succession; by her a breach was made in the rank of Popes; and as she was a notorious Whore, so she was no fool; as she shamefully baffled the Doctors with her learning, so she outwitted them with her policy, and sat in that seat which properly belonged to men, to the confusion of the Romish Church and perpetual infamy of her Clergy.  
Lastly, if it be granted there was such a Pope, then Popish Priests may well doubt of the lawfulness of their Mission, and laypapists of the sufficiency of their absolutions which the Priests give them on auricular confession, and of the truth of the real presence and transubstantiation. 
l Tolet. summa Casuum Conscientiae lib. 1. cap. 1.  For unless the Popish Priests be admitted by a lawful Bishop, their Priesthood is insignificant and of no effect: 
m Concil. Trident Sess. 14. Can. 10.  unless laypapists be absolved by a Lawful Priest, their absolution is nothing worth: and 
n Bellar. l. 4. de Eucha. cap. 16.  unless the words of Consecration be uttered by a lawful Priest, intent upon his business, there follows no substantial change in the Creatures of Bread and Wine. Now how can the Priests say they were inducted by lawful Bishops, or the Layman absolved by lawful Priests, or Masses said by them, seeing we read (as I said before) that Pope Joan gave orders, Pope Joan made Deacons, Priests, Bishops, and Abbots. For it may be well enough supposed that the Priests of this present age are descended from those who received orders from her. Her successors dealt not with her Shavelings, as Pope John the 12 did with Leo the 8 his Shavelings. 
p Sigibert in Chron. ad an. 963. Baronius Turrecremata etc.  John the 12 degraded them all, and compelled every one of them to subscribe a Paper, wherein was writ Episcopus meus (meaning Leo the 8) nihil sibi habuit, nihil mihi dedit, he had naught for himself, and gave naught to me: but so did not Benedict the third with Pope joan's. To what hath been said I know not what any Romanist in any probability can reply, unless he say as Lawyers in the case of Barbarius Philippus, Communis error facit jus; yet that will not serve the turn, for though it may be so in matters of the Commonwealth, in matters of the Church it cannot be so; for an error in the beginning touching the Church, proves often an heresy in conclusion. In matters of the Church prescription adds no credit to actions of evil beginning.  
FINIS.