A PROPOSAL OF THE POETS To raise Their MAJESTY'S A Sum of Money.  
Humbly recommended to the Consideration of the Honourable House.  
AT this critical conjuncture, when every good subject ought to set his Hand to the Blow, and use his utmost endeavours to support the present Establishment, we have not been wanting in our respective Stations to show the sincerity of our Affection to it. As Fight was never the Talon of our Tribe, we don't pretend to have obliged the Nation that way; nor dare we own ourselves guilty of much praying, for that too is out of our Sphere; but with what alacrity and cheerfulness we have drawn our Pens in their Majesty's quarrel, let Paul's Church Yard and Westminster-Hall speak. No sooner is any Victory gained by our Forces in Elanders, but we take the Hint immediately, and Record it in Metre: Nay we may without vanity affirm, that could Rhyming have done the business, the English had long ago beat their Drums through Paris, sent the mighty Monarch to Grass, and reduced the Lovure and Versailles to Ashes. What is a farther indication of our good will to the Government, we have not only rhymed but prophesied for it, and if in the heat of inspiration we have laid the Scene of Conquest somewhat too early, and foretold Triumphs that did not happen at the time appointed, 'tis an error on the right side, and we hope the Kingdom will as readily excuse it in us, as they have done some modern Interpreters of the Revelations, who out of their great zeal to the Protestant Cause Prophesied the utter downfall of Antichrist would certainly come to pass last-year; tho' to our great sorrow we all see that the Man of Sin is still alive and lusty, and in all probability will not be induced to break up House-keeping under two or three year more.  
Gentlemen,  
You have made us happy under a victorious Prince, whose immortal acquisitions employ our Muses daily. You have preserved our Religion, and 'tis certain we Poets have a regard to that above all things; you have likewise secured us in our properties, and how deeply that point concerns the Sons of Rhyme and Harmony we need not mention. For this therefore, and several other important considerations, our Fraternity at the last general meeting, after having considered of several ways to express their gratitude, did unanimously resolve to do what none of their Predecessors ever dreamt of, and in case your illustrious assembly shall think fit to approve of the proposal, offer to raise his Majesty six hundred thousand pound, and that too out of the Territories of Poetry. And tho' as all our ancient Papers inform us, Parnassus is Apollo's peculiar, and never paid a farthing to any Government before, yet to testify our Loyalty and Acknowledgement for the mighty things that have been done for the Nation of late, we shall cheerfully contribute all that in us lies, to the ease, benefit and advantage of the public.  
We need not remind you that Poets in all Ages and Countries of the World have been the sole dispensers of Fame and Glory. Now this being an Heroic Age, wherein every person is ambitious of Glory more or less, and yet would rather purchase it with his Money at home, notwithstanding the present scarcity thereof, than acquire it by his Merits abroad, we humbly crave leave that under your authority and protection we may be empowered to Erect a Glory Office in all the principal Corporations and Towns in the Kingdom.  
We have so contrived matters that this Office shall hook in all sorts of Customers, Lords and Peasants, Court Ladies and Milkmaids, Clergy and Laity, in short, the whole populace, by what Names or Titles soever dignified and distinguished.  
As there are Masons in the City so dexterous at their Trade, that they can build a House to last precisely the time you covenant for, nay can so contrive matters, that the Roof shall tumble the very minute after the Lease is expired: so in our mystery we have Brethren that can write for a Day, for a Week, for a Month, for a Year, and so till Doomsday if the Chapman will go up to the price of it.  
In Grub street they seldom write for above a Week. Some of the better sort in Paul's Church yard and about th● ●●mple, with good looking after may last half a dozen years and upwards. The Wi●s of  hold a shorter or longer space, according as they mix their colours, and some few among them pretend to confer immortality, and to endure for ever.  
Now in proportion to these different Talents of Writing the several prices are to be regulated. Inferior persons may have their Twelve pennyworth of Glory, (and under that rate we are agreed to sell none) and because Glory of that cheap composition cannot be supposed to keep long, we advise them to renew it twice a year. This branch of the Revenue is to be managed by the good people of Grubstreet, and the Commodity thus retailed is chief calculated for the Meridian of Dutch Troopers, Prentices, Milkmaids, Porters, Footmen, Farmer's Eldest Sons, and Semstresses.  
The middle sort of Glory from half a Crown up to twenty Shillings is to be distributed by the City Poet for the time being, and his assistants. And this may indifferently serve Vintners that can palm a new Wine upon the World, Physicians that have broached a new Religion, poor townsmen's Daughters that have snapped an University Fortune, Country Attorneys that can set a whole Corporation together by the Ears, prolific Divines that to their great renown have pvissantly begotten twenty Children, projectors of Pacing Saddles, and all such useful inventions to the public, Schoolmasters that have floged their thousand younger Brothers that have stole great fortunes, puny Tradesmen that from Pins and Pack-thread have scuffled their way into a Common Council-ship. And not to mention any more particulars, all people of middle condition who have done any thing famous and remarkable in their generation.  
The highest pitch of Glory, going under the name of Elixir Immortalitatis will be only sold at Wills Coffee-house in , and will make the purchasers free of Epistles Dedicatory, Panegyrics, with the great privilege and emoluments thereunto belonging. The price of it is just twenty Guineas, (wonderful cheap all things considered) and we doubt not will draw in infinite numbers to bid for it, such as Favourites and Courtiers, who would rather buy glory at any rate, than put themselves to the expense of obtaining it by their own deserts. Penurious Aldermen who having no inclination to purchase reputation by building of Almshouses, may here get it at a cheaper rate. Lord's Pages that have advanced themselves to a Sea Commission, but have a mortal aversion to Wooden Legs. The fine dressing talkative Sparks of the Town that take Garrisons, and model Kingdoms over their Claret. In fine all those persons who have a passion for Fume and Glory, but cannot be persuaded to sacrifice their ease, and pleasures, or venture a broken Shin for its sake. The only fear is, that to save charges some thrifty people will turn Poets in their own defence; but this inconvenience may easily be obviated by constituting a Supreme Office here in Town, which shall have full Authority to place and displace as they shall see fit, and likewise to regulate the numbers of the City and Country Poets, as they have prudently done the numbers of Chairmen at Whi●e●hall.  
We humbly conceive that the revenue belonging to this Office will in a years time with prudent management raise if not the whole, yet at least four parts of the sum proposed. However if it should happen to fall short of what we expect (for since the Gentry in two Welsh Counties have lately renounced their Gentility to save twenty shillings a quarter, we may probably imagine that some persons for all their pretended Courtship of Glory will rather let it alone than turn purchasers) it cannot fail of being made up by the following expedients. We therefore desire that an Epithalamium Office may be erected somewhere near the Commons, were all people that pay Scot and Lot to the Parish may be obliged to come for their Wedding Ballad, (without which no Parson shall offer to Marry them under penalty of incuring a Poetical Censure) and that they shall pay either according to their quality, or the goodness of the verse. In the second place we propose an Elegy-Office, where not only Epitaphs of all sorts may be had (without which it shall not be lawful to bury the party deceased) but also Funeral ditties upon Lady's Lap-dogs, Parrots, Monkeys, Lord Mayor's and Alderman's Horses defunct: adjoining to which may be a Nativity-Office, where the Children of all such Parents that are qualified as above mentioned, may have their Nativities Registered in Rhyme, and their Fortunes told into the bargain, which last favour will save their Friends the expense of going into Morefield, or to Dr. Saffold's worthy Successor. For be it known to all the World, the Astrologers interlope upon the Poets, when they pretend to Prrophecy.  
These Offices you may order to continue so long as the War lasts, whereby their Majesties shall receive six hundred thousand pound yearly. We need not say any thing of the Circulation of Wit, the employing of many indigent persons, and lastly the great encouragement of the Paper Manufacture, all which will by this means be promoted and advanced. We only presume to lay our proposal at your Feet, and subscribe ourselves Your most obedient Servants the Poets.  
We have ordered the City Poet, who drew up this Proposal, to communicate this design to our dear Brethren the Poets of Holland, and to the rest of the Confederates whom it may concern.   

London, Printed for the Assigns of Mr. Jordan and Tubman deceased.