THE proposals OF THE COMMITTEE For Regulating the LAW, both in Sense, Form, and practise; Communicated to public view by especial Order and Command.  
WE the Commissioners of the grand and weighty business of Regulating the Law, which have taken no small pains in sitting all this while, with the assistance of a single-soald Minister, have at last grown big of these high and mighty Articles, and desire to be delivered of them into the World for the public applause and consent: for by them we hope to give a free interpretation of Modern Iustice, and a strict account of the reformation of all fees, tedious demurs, and practise of Courts, that by it the Commonwealth may be eased of the burden of unknown charges which waits upon buckeram gabs, and we richly rewarded for our sweat and travel in so acceptable and laudable a work.  

proposal 1. That whereas all the good Laws, Statutes, and Acts of Grace in this Kingdom, have been derived clearly from Noble and heroic Princes and their free Grant; and( until they shall be repealed by a Knack of Parliament) are the sole tie and safety of human Society, Trade, and traffic; It is thought fit, That the charity and love of former Kings to their Liege People, be esteemed nothing to the mercy of the State we now live under, and the famous Liberties, Properties, and Bounty of their generous Spirits we partake; And that it shall be thought reason and Law both, That an Ordinance of Parliament may take the Wall of Magna Charta, though it be in the middle of Lincolns-Inne-Fields, and in all Causes and over all Persons to be Supreme Moderator.  
2 That the Sword was the first inventor of Kings, and the present upholder of States and Parliaments; and therefore notwithstanding any right or equity to the contrary, the Sword is the best Lawgiver; and as it has attempted already to cut off the head of the Commonwealth, so it does require all the rest of the members to an observance of his command, be it never so unjust, inhuman, cruel, sacrilegious, or profane.  
3 That in all administration of modern Iustice, we may be no more bound to Conscience, than Conscience is to us: for let a man look over all the Anatomy of the Law-givers, it is impossible to conjecture in what part of that body Conscience lies.  
4 That the Kings Bench Bar be subservient to the High Court of Iustice, in regard the one has no power but merely to distribute Ius suum cuique the candid censure of the Law between man and man, the other has a Sovereignty above Sovereigns.  
5 That the Court of Iniquity, alias the Chancery( where a man may be suspended and demurd in his just right from generation to generation, by the power of the purse) may be judged no more by the Keepers of the Liberties and privileges of England, but rather to be taken in its true and genuine sense by the Preservers of the controversies and sins of the people; and whereas a man after the expense of 1000 pounds to bring his suit to a hearing, was used to be blown off with a non-assumption of the Engagement, they shall henceforth be allowed 20 shillings towards their costs and charges, and the half dozen Clerks dagled gowns scoured.  
6 That that bloody and deadly Term Murderaverunt may be looked upon as a word in fashion, and because it concerns many of great quality, it is ordered, that it be always written in capital Letters.  
7 That as many as Swornaverunt themselves into the high style of the Knights of the Post, are not a jot concerned in the Act of degrading late honours conferred, but this being an ancient order of Knighthood, and very ready at all times through the course of these ten years past to bestead the Commonwealth upon occasion, be it therefore confirmed by all the sinews of Law, that this Fraternity be upheld to perpetuity of ages.  
8 That no Adjournamentums of causes shall henceforth be allowed; for suppose a man having but one poor Cot●agium in the world, have a suit depending oro Cabagio, Anglicè, a Cabbage, in Michaelmas Term, and withall a Iudgment and Execution, the Plaintiff must be constrained perhaps to wait a twelvemonth for satisfaction, and to be paid in his own coin.  
9 That it shall be held fit in a Circult or Assize, though it become not a Judge Itinerant, with his bunch of gravity on his chin, to take bribes, yet it may be convenient that the price of a pair of gloves, called 50 pieces, be deposed in his Clerks pocket to be presented to his Lordship the next morning when he goes to wash his hands, that like Pilate he might purify himself to the world in formality and circumstance, as in the case of Martin Sandy and Steyner.  
10 That all Attorneys of Courts errand, passant, or regardant, may no more run up their Clients with twelve-pence wet, and sixpence dry, besides Baytings, Breakfasts, Collations, and Banbury Cheeses; but that justice may run clear without proclivity or irregular buggering of a Countrymans purse, it is ordered Cum warranto that the pettifogger shall require no more than his ten groats, and if so be the free-hearted Client tickle him under the short ribs with an ordinary of boiled beef at Fetter Lane end gratis, it shall be thought a considerable Easeamentum of expense, and no more to be extorted for expedition.  
11 That all dashes whatsoever used in writing shall be held for a capital Crime, for under the notion of a Counter stroke, the Law and Latin Cases were so martyred that it puzzled the worshipful the Judges( having forgotten their grammar by long experience) to understand them, and therefore it is desired, that all words be written at length, and not in figures, for the conveniency of the Benchers.  
12 That it may be thought reason, that the word Villenagium be utterly expunged out of the terms of the Law, since we are all free-men and no more slaves than they which row in the Turks Galleys.  
13 That by the motion of Mr. Peters the Term Simony may be looked upon as convenient, if not lawful, since the first day he begun to sell the Patronage of south-wales.  
14 That the right heir at Law is he alone that is in possession, and as by the outing of the best tenor in England, we see it apparent, inter are a silent leges, so whosoever he be that is born to an estate, unless he can derive his claim from the Engagement, he is no longer to be suffered by the Sheriff of the County to live in peace, till such time as he has run the gauntlop at Haberdashers Hall, and then he shall be freely manumitted.  
15 That an under-Sheriff, a Jaylor, a Catch-pole, and Clerk of Assize being Individuums in natura, or termini convertibiles, shall no more be dashed in their reputation with the circumflex of a K. but rather to be considered as public Officers which in this catching Age ought to have a little touch of Hocus Pocus in all their performances.  
16 That the excise, notwithstanding there be no Law extant, or Conscience to warrant so sore an Imposition upon a Free-people, it may be thought Jure divino, because it enlarges the hawking-baggs of the Saints.  
17 That no expedition be henceforth used in any Court, practise, or procedure, but rather all delays and labyrinths to dwindle out a Bumpkins patrimony to the last thrid. That the puny Clerks may be prevented in the vein of their spending-mony, and the masters of Offices may be enriched with double Fees to the capacity of buying of Bishops Lands and Fee-farm rents; Besides the Law being just shaking hands with us, it is necessary we make the most of it while it is here.  
18 That whereas a Country Solicitor, upstart up to the singularity of a vinegar cloak, and a green bag, is wont to dun the Offices with a pitiful importunity, more especially when his Novice is at hand to quicken him with a piece of four; it is desired he may make the benefit of a fallacia signi when the Term is ended, to keep his Vnder-vamper in Town to bear his charges until the poor Fellow is compelled to pawn his Cloak in Long lane to carry him home, and then take his leave with a philosophical Bill of Charges at his back like an Indenture in Folio to bemoan his Lawship to his admiring friends.  
19 That the term Prerogative, being a sequestrable Phrase, a malignant and dangerous word, full of Plots and Treasons, a word prayed and preached against by many well-wishing and confiding Divines and godly Souls of this Nation, may be laid aside, and charmd into the happy conversion of the Peoples Birth-right. And since the Representatives of the Plebeians have the managing of all Delinquent encumbrances, Be it proposed to be enacted and made Law That all such Tyrannicall expressions, denominations, or Inventions be pocketted up, to raise the wages, salaries, stipendiaries or allowances of the aforesaid Representatives from this time forth for evermore.  
20 That whereas Meum and Tuum have been the old pronouns of distinguishing Titles and claims in this blind and ignorant patch of the World, in regard they are Latin, and so of grievous consequence to a People new-lighted, in respect of their alliance, relation, affinity, and consanguinity to the Pope, being their countryman; Be it confirmed by a perpetual Decree, That those words are no better than jesuits, and have nothing to do with us in the decision of Rights of the new model.  
21 That the thing called a King, a Title of Usurpation, to whom by compulsion and imminent necessity men of greatest rank, Nobility, and Professions took most formally the oaths of Allegiance and Supremacy: because we that are wiser than our Fore-fathers know there is an inconvenience in having any one above us to call us to an account, or control the liberty of our Concupiscence; It is beseech'd, that all Britain, of what tongue, language or speech soever, would be pleased to forget that obligation, and to aclowledge no Supremacy but in themselves.  
22 That in all Contracts, Covenants, or Agreements, it shall be considerable for every man to have a mental Reservation, or intricate meaning, that upon advantages we may turn weather-cocks, and adore those mighty and modern Deities, profit, and self-ends.  
23 That all Records or Registers of Antiquity may be burnt and imbezzeld, for fear lest in reading and turning over those slighted and moth-eaten Papers, we may unwillingly be put in mind of a neglected and forgotten duty and obedience to Magistracy, Ministry, nay I had almost said sovereignty.  
24 That every Country fellow may have the privilege of Pleading his own Cause, merely to humour the high shoes, notwithstanding we in our known Wisdom and Integrity shall give sentence according to our underfeeling and proper discretion.  
25 That all Committee-men shall be held forth Saints at their Death, and be enthroned in the Church windows at the charge of the Parish; because they have been most eminent Instruments in the engrossing and monopolising of all Church-Lands, Gleab and tithes.  
26 That there may be a provincial Pare-royall of Iudges selected for the determining of suits in the same Country where they first take breath; always provided, that if the parties be rich, fat, and well liking, and of good credit in the Sheriffs books, and withall able to endure the heat of a London trial, That in such cases there must and ought to be a further appeal to our Palace at Westminster, where such differences are most peculiarly required to be decided with a wet finger.  
27 That the Oath ex Officio, or an Injunction for a man to discover himself against himself, has always been held a most injurious Circumventing and unjust invention amongst Grandees,( except in matters of Sequestration) it shall be lawful henceforward for no man to unrip, untruss, or divulge the least syllable of his own privity or hidden knowledge of deluding, deceiving, or cozening the Commonalty, against his own Conscience.  
28 That the damnable expensive Fees of all Offices and Officers shall be brought to an Abatamentum, and be left to the pleasure of every mans heart to gratulate and requited his Trustee; And so the Lawyers being brought into subjection to the mercy of the Bores and Swadds, they may not flaunt so stately in their Pontificalibus, being but public servants, and a hickle of Animals, which breath by the iniquities of the Land.  
29 That whereas Incontinence has been evermore held by the ancients a most decried and punishable 'vice, and trick of youth in most Countries, it is conceived fit to be esteemed venial, and more pardonable in this could climate; and to permit all men of experienced activity the freedom of a Wife and an Intimate, for the fructifying of the Sister-hood, and the enlargement of the number of the Geneva fry.  
30 That the old Proverb ( Change is no Robbery) be put in practise in these modern times. And whereas the grievous and mighty tax called shipmoney imposed by the Royalists hath been esteemed Tyranny, Injustice, and Covetousness: The easy and frivolous Sess of 60000 lib. a month loaded by the Reformed sighers and groaners shall be construed by all sorts of pay-masters a trifle, a piece of Nothingness, necessary to the supportation of the Armies, and other small disbursements, which do not amount to half the sum.  
31 That whereas the taking up of Arms in former Ages against a Prince by his own Subjects, was by the Law found Treason; in respect that now we know he is but a man, obnoxious to death and mortality at pleasure, it shall no longer be judged Treason, but Convenience; and that such ought to be rewarded for it, under the notion of good service and gallantry.  
32 That whereas in Case of Manslaughter, and other casual offences, men were allowed the benefit of their Clergy, it is granted necessary in this metamorphosis of things, that no man be put to his book again, for there is hardly one in a hundred can red his neck-verse, and so many of the good Intenders to the weal-publique may incur the hazard of the hempen twist.  
33 That all subsizing, Querpo, gyzzard Clerks, which farm a parcel of scribbling at three pence a day, shall not be suffered henceforward to lay on their Fathers allowance, and their own lamentable revenue upon a svit of clothes, and a Horse Coller of ribbons: for as it is even in the greatest order of the busling Gallants a most unseemly, ranting, loose, profufely, ugly garb, to be dressed about the hips like a Morris Dancer, and to have more variety of strange colours than good conditions, it is judged commendable both in State Policy and common civility to enact, That all such which are found whifling in such antic dresses, be accounted no better than W— Masters, Tooth-drawers, and Mountebanks, from this time forth for ever more.  
34 That all Lawyers wives which have come sneaking into the inns of Court, with their bag and baggage, whether it be to be proficients in their husbands absence in the practise of fee tail, or whether it be to convert those gallant edifices from a Nursery of Law, to a Shambles of Laundry-women I know not, but is is requested to be voted, that all such presumptuous whipsters, with their litter and lumber, reduce themselves either into Ram-Alley, Perpool-Lane, or Castle-Yard, more fit stages for such comical subjects, than seminaries of learning, and there to set up for themselves, where only such kind of cattle are to be expected.  
35 That the corruption of Courts has been a most horrid and crying criminal in this Nation, in that the poor have been overborne by the rich in a most high way, and all by intercession of the Lady Pecunia, a Gentlewoman much Idolized of late; It is therefore ordained, That no more money be produced to tempt the frailty of a Clerks conscience, but that every thing be carried in a round way between man and man, and by that time the Excise, Sequestration, Monthly Taxes, &c. have continued their reign over us one year more, be it accounted Treason for any Man whatsoever to be able to off●r an Attorney, Solicitor, or council, more than his just fee, except it be a rasher of Bacon, to relish his mornings draft.  
36 That there may be a distinction made between Clerks of the Childrens three, and Stagers of the long twelves, men of the tribe of Anack in their procession, and typlers of the stock of Benjamin, whose Goose-quill fancies were never elevated beyond the Pernassus of a green nogging in their Masters absence. It is therefore proposed that such nyffling fellows be distinguished by the childish wear of yallow ribbons, from the Marshall Seniors with their fiery facies.  
37 Item, That all Indentures, Bills, Leases, Conveyances, and Bonds obligatory, shall no more be dated from the year of our Lord God, nor the Coronation of the King, but Stilo Novo, from the first day of the eleventh month, in such a model of the State Government, under the conduct of such a party.  
38 Item, That all Impropriations, College-holds, Lapses, or Patronage of Church means, be all referred to a jury of Saints to dispose of: because it is the patrimony of the elect in this world, and to sustain the indigency of the Spirit of talking.  
39 That all right might be judged by the touch-stone of affection, and if so be the Plaintiff or Defendant cannot bring proof, that he is one of such a collected Church of the marching ministry, it is fitting he should be reprobated in Estate, as well as point of Salvation.  
40 That no married persons may justify themselves by the old common Prayer Book, but he that means to be dabbling with his Mistris now, must permit himself to be posted three several Sundays upon the Church door, and when every Country Hogo has spent his greasy jeer upon him, then he must be examined by two justices of Peace upon Oath, whether he has his and her friends consent, and then if please the parties they may go to bed together without any further ceremony. Qui aliter maritaverit perdit dotem.  
41 That the multiplicity of Heriotts be reduced to nothing, and the Marketa mulieris be set up in their place, or rather the forfeiture of that money by the occupation of the Feminine feature by the three Articles of the Lord of the Mannor.  
42 That the Lottery and the public Faith may walk hand in hand together from Town to Town, to see if it be possible to inveigle any more silver Spoons or Bodkins into the Common or the Commons Treasury.  
43 That it may be lawful for any man to exercise, Own, Preach about, or Practise any religion, heresy, or diabolical Tenets; That the Law may be brought into six words, Do as thou wouldst be done to, that Divinity may be made mercenary, and the fundamentals of Church and Commonwealth laid wast and abolished; That one man may be as good a Gentleman as another, and for all these, We beseech you to hear us great Lords.   Sic Tetigi portum quo mihi Cursus erat.  
FINIS.