THE QUEEN, OR THE EXCELLENCY OF HER SEX. An Excellent old Play.  
Found out by a Person of Honour, and given to the Publisher, ALEXANDER GOUGHE.  

{non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman},  
{non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman}  
{non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman}  
{non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman}.   Hesiod lib: 1. 

— Cedat jam Graia vetustas  
Peltatas mirata Nurus, jam Volsca Camillas  
Cedat, & Assyrias quae foemina flectit habenas  
Fama tace, Majore cano—   
LONDON, Printed by T. N. for Thomas Heath, in Russel Street, Near the Piazza of Covent-Garden, 1653.   

TO THE VIRTUOUSLY NOBLE AND TRULY HONOURABLE LADY, The Lady CATHERINE MOHUN, Wife to the Lord Warwick Mohun, Baron of Okehampton, my highly honoured LORD.  
May it please your Ladyship,  
MAdam, Emboldened by your accustomed candour and unmerited favours to things of the like nature, though disproportioned worth: (Because this Excellency seems to contract those perfections her Sex hath been invested with, which are as essential to your Ladyship, as light to the Sun) I presumed to secure this innocent Orphan from the Thunder-shocks of the present blasting age, under the safe protecting wreath of your name; which (I am confident) the virtues of none can more justly challenge, than those of your Ladyship; who alone may seem to quicken the lifeless Scene, and to demonstrate its possibility; reducing Fables into practics; by making as great honour visible in the mirror of your daily practice. Your pardon, Madam, for daring to offer such adulterate Metals, to so pure a Mine; for making the Shadow a present to the Substance; the thoughts of which was an offence, but the performance, a crime beyond the hopes of pardon. When my Fate had cast me on the first, I esteemed myself unsafe (with the Politian) should I not attempt the latter, securing one error by soaring at a greater: but my duller eyes endured not the proof of so glorious a Test, and the waxed juncture of my ill contrived feathers melt me into the fear of a fall: Therefore (with the most desperate offenders) I cast myself on the mercy of the Bench; and since I have so clement a Judge as yourself, do not wholly despair of absolution, by reason my Penitential acknowledgement atones part of the offence; and your remission of the whole will eternally oblige,  
MADAM ,The humblest of your ladyship's Servants, ALEXANDER GOUGHE.   

To Mr. Alexander Goughe upon his publishing The excellent Play called the Queen; or the Excellency of her Sex.  

IF Plays be looking glasses of our lives  
Where dead examples quickening art revives:  
By which the players dress themselves, and we  
By them may form a living Imagery  
To let those sullied, lie in age in dust  
Or break them with pretence of fit and just.  
Is a rude cruelty, as if you can  
Put on the christian, and put off the man.  
But must all moral handsomeness undo  
And may not be divine and civil too.  
What though we dare not say the poet's art  
Can save while it delights, please and convert;  
Or that Blackfriars we hear which in this age  
Fell when it was a church, not when a stage,  
Or that the 
* In the original it is Puritans.  Presbyters that once dwelled there,  
Prayed and thrived though the playhouse were so near.  
Yet this we dare affirm there is more gain  
In seeing men act vice than virtue fain;  
And he less tempts a danger that delights  
In professed players then close Hypocrites,  
Can there no favour to the scene be shown  
Because Jack Fletcher was a bishop's son,  
Or since that order is condemned do you  
Think poets therefore Antichristian too;  
Is it unlawful since the stage is down  
To make the press act: where no ladies swoon  
At the red coats intrusion: none are stripped;  
No Hystriomastix has the copy whipped  
No man don Women's cloth's: the guiltless press  
Wears its own innocent garments: its own dress,  
Such as free nature made it: Let it come  
Forth Midwife Goughe, securely; and if some  
Like not the make or beauty of the play  
Bear witness to 't and confidently say  
Such a relict as once the stage did own,  
Ingenuous Reader, merits to be known.  
R. C.    

For Plays.  

DO you not Hawk? Why mayn't we have a Play?  
Both are but recreations. You'll say  
Diseases which have made Physicians dumb,  
By healthful excercise are overcome.  
And Crimes escaped all other laws, have been  
Found out, and punished by the curious Scene.  
Are Stages hurtful for the ill they teach,  
And needless for the good? Which Pulpits preach:  
Then sports are hurtful, for the time they lose,  
And needless to the good, which labour does.  
permit ''em both; or if you will allow  
The mind no Hawk, leave yours, and go to Plough.  
EDMOND ROOKWOOD.    

To Mr. Goughe, upon the publication of the Play, called, The QUEEN, or the Excellency of her SEX.  

GOUGHE, In this little Present you create  
yourself a Trophy, may become a State;  
For you that preserve wit, may equally  
Be ranked with those defend our Liberty;  
And though in this ill treated Scene of sense,  
The general learning is but in pretence;  
Or else infused like th' Eastern Prophet's Dove,  
To whisper us, Religion, Honour, Love;  
Yet the more Generous race of men revives  
This Lamp of Knowledge, and like Primitives  
In Caves, fearless of Martyrdom, rehearse  
The almost breathless, now, Dramatic verse.  
How in the next age will our Youth lament  
The loss of wit, condemned to banishment.  
Wit that the duller rout despise, cause they  
Miss it in what their Zealous Priests display:  
For Priests in melancholy Zeal admit  
Only a grave formality for wit;  
And would have those that govern us comply  
And cherish their fallacious tyranny.  
But wherein States can no advantage gain,  
They harmless mirth improperly restrain;  
Since men cannot be naturally called free,  
If Rulers claim more than security.  
How happens then this rigour o'er the Stage  
In this restored, free, and licentious age?  
For Plays are Images of life, and cheat  
Men into virtue, and in jest repeat  
What they most seriously think; nor may  
We fear lest Manners suffer: every day  
Does higher, cunninger, more sin invent  
Then any Stage did ever represent.  
It may indeed show evil, and affright,  
As we prize day by th' ugliness of night.  
But in the Theatre men are easier caught,  
Then by what is in clamorous pulpits taught.  
T. C.    

Persons of the PLAY.  

QUeen of Arragon.  
Petruchi, a Young Lord.  
Bufo, a Captain. king's Party: Pynto, an Astronomer. Muretto.  
Velasco, Queen's General.  
Lodovico, his friend.  
Alphonso, afterwards King.  
Collumello, Counsellors to the Queen. Almado,  
Herophil, her Woman.  
Salassa, widow, Mistress to Velasco.  
Shaparoon, her friend.  
Mopas, Velasco's man.  
Hangman.  
Messenger.  
Groom.  
Officers.    

The Queen.  
ACTUS PRIMUS.  Enter Petruchi with Buso, Pynto and Muretto, in poor habit. Petr 
ALL free, and all forgiven.  Omnes. 
Bless her Majesty.  Petr. 
Henceforth (my friends) take heed how you so hazard  
Your lives and fortunes on the peevish motion  
Of every discontent, you will not find  
Mercy so rise at all times.  Muret. 
Gracious Sir!  
Your counsel is more like an Oracle,  
Then man's advice, for my part I dare speak  
For one, I rather will be racked asunder  
Then e'er again offend so wise a Majesty.  Petr. 
'Tis well your lives are once more made your own;  
I must attend the execution  
Of your hot General each shift now for yourselves.  Exit Petruchi. Buf. 
Is he gone, ha, ha, ha  
We have the common canopy of the clear heavens  
Once more o'er our heads, Sirs.  Muret. 
We are at liberty out of the hangman's clutches,  
Now, mark, what good language and fair words  
Will do, Gentlemen.  Pyn. 
Good language! O, let me go back and he hanged, rather than live within the rotten infection of thy Cankered breath; the poison of a flatterer's tongue is a thousand times more deadly, than the twinges of a rope; Thou birth of an unlucky Planet:  
I abhor thee.  Muret. 
Fie, fie! Can you rail on your friends thus.  Pyn. 
Friends, my friend Captain, come from that slippery eel, Captain.  
His very cradle was in dirt and mud.  
His milk the oil of serpents; his mother a mangy Mermaid, and a male Crocodile begat him.  Muret. 
This needs not sweet, signior Pynto.  Pyn. 
Sweet Signior? Sweet Cog a foist, go hang thyself, thou'dst jeer the very rags I wear off my back with thy fustians of sweet, precious, unmatchable, rare, wise, judicious, heigh do! Pox on thee; Sirrah, Sirrah, Hast not thou many a time and often devoured a whole table of mine, garnished with plenty, nay; variety of good wholesome fare, under the colour of telling news with a roughy compliment?  Muret. 
Good fare of thine!  Buf. 
Nay, dear Gentlemen.  Pyn. 
Mine! I mine, Sycophant, I (dost mark me) to supply thy totters, pawned a whole study of Ephimerides, so rich that they might have set up a Coronation of Almanac makers; and what had I in return? But protestations, (hearest thou this maunderer) that I was, for learning, the soundest; for bounty, the royalest; for discourse, the sententioust; for behaviour, the absolutest; for all endowments of mind and body, the most accomplished that nature ever called her workmanship: but thou dog, thou scoundrel, my beggary was the fruits of thy flattery. Stand off, Rascal, off.  Buf. 
This is excellent faith;  Muret. 
How, how! I flatter ye? What thee, thee? A poor lousy uncloaked imposter, a deceitful, cozening, cheating, dull decoying fortune teller; Thou pawn books; thou, patched out of an old Shepherd's Calendar, that discoursest in time of the change of the weather.  
And whose were thy Ephemerides? Why, Impudence, wert thou ever worth Erra Pater's Prognostication? Thou learned! In what? By filching, stealing, borrowing, eating, collecting, and counting with as weather-wise Idiots as thyself; once in twelve months thou wert indeed delivered, (like a big bellied wife) of a two penny Almanac, at Easter. A Hospital boy in a blue coat shall transcribe as much in six hours to serve all the year.  
Thou a table of meat, yes, Astronomers fare, air; or at a feast upon high holy days, three red Sprats in a dish; that was held gluttony too.  
I flatter thee? Thou learned?  Pyn. 
Rascal, Cannibal that feedest upon man's flesh.  Buf. 
Nay, pray, pray heartily Gentlemen; in good earnest, and as I live, and by this hand now—  Muret. 
Right thou puttest me in mind what I should call thee; Who was't the cause of all the late insurrection for which we were all like to be hanged, and our brave General Alphonso is this day to suffer for; who but thou, forsooth; the influences of the Stars, the conjunction of the Planets, the prediction of the celestial bodies were peremptory, that if a' would but attempt a civil commotion, a' should (I marry should a') be straight crowned present King of Arragon. Now your Gipsonly may i'th' moon, your divination hath fairly mounted him; poor Gentleman, he's sure to leave his head in pawn for giving credit to thy prognosticating ignorance.  Pyn. 
I scorn thee, Parasite.  Muret. 
You are a stinking starved- gut star-gazer. Is that flattery or no.  Buf. 
foot, What do you mean, Signior Pynto, Signior Muretto?  Pyn. 
I will be revenged and watch my time, Sirrah.  Muret. 
Do.  Buf. 
This is strange my Master, to be so here the place of execution and prattle so loud; Come Signior Pynto; indeed la you shall shake hands.  Pyn. 
Let me alone, you're a foolish Captain. Muretto, I will display thee for a—  Muret. 
Hang thyself, I care not for thee this.  Buf. 
Foolish Captain, foolish Captain, hark ye, Pynto, there's no such good meaning in that word.  Pyn. 
A parrot can echo, talk to Scholars so.  Muret. 
A proper Scholar, stitched up of waste paper.  Buf. 
Sneaks, if I be a fool, I'll bang out the wits of some of your noddles, or dry bastinado your sides.  
Ye Dogret, mangy scabbed owlaglasses,  
I'll maul ye, so I will.  Muret. 
Captain, sweet Captain, nay, look, now will you put your discretion to coxcombs?  Buf. 
Yes, the proudest coxcombs of 'em all, if I be provoked; foolish, flesh and blood cannot endure't.  Muret. 
So, goodman sky walker, you have made a trim hand on't, to chase yourself into a threat cutting.  Buf. 
I will shred you both so small, that a very botcher shall shred Spanish needles, with every fillet of your itchy flesh; call me foolish, ye whelps-moils; my father was a Corn cutter, and my mother a muscle woman, 'tis known what I am, and I'll make you know what I am, If my choler be raised but one inch higher.  Pyn. 
Well, I see Mars and Saturn, were thy Planets.  
Thou art a valiant soldier, and there's no dealing with ye. For the captain's sake, I will abate my indignation, Muretto. But—  Buf. 
But i'thy face, I'll have no butts, 'sbones, the black guard is more honourably sured then any of us three. Foolish, foolish, will never out of my head while I live.  Enter Velasco and Lodovico. Muret: 
Long life, eternal prosperity, the blessing o'th' heavens, and honours of the Earth, crown the glorious merits of the incomparable, Captain Don Velasco.  Pyn. 
The Chime goes again, Captain.  Velas. 
Who are these poor Creatures, Lodovico.  Lodov. 
My Lord, I know them now, they are some of the late mutineers, whom you (when you, took Alphonso prisoner) presented to the rigor of the Law, but since they are by the Queen's pardon set at liberty.  Velas. 
I should know yonder fellow.  
Your name is Bufo, if I mistake not.  Buf. 
My name is my own name, Sir, and Bufo is my name, Sir, if any man shall deny't, I dare challenge him in defence of my Godfathers that gave me that name, Sir; and what say you to that, Sir?  Muret. 
A shallow, unbrained, weak, foolish fellow, and so forth: Your lordship understands me;  
But for our parts my good Lord—  Velas. 
Well, Gentlemen, I cannot tell you now,  
That any poor endeavours of mine own  
Can work Alphonso's peace, yet I have spoke  
And kneeled and sued for his reprieve. The Queen  
Hath heard, but will not grant; This is the day,  
And this the time, and place, where he must render  
The forfeit of his life unto the Law.  
I only can be sorry.  Enter Petruchi, after the hangman bearing the axe before Alphonso, with Officers. Petr. 
Alphonso, here's the place, and this the hour;  
Your doom is past, and now the sword of Law  
Must cut the vein that swelled with such a frenzy  
Of dangerous blood against your Queen and Country.  
Prepare yourself, 'tis now too late to hope.  Alph. 
Petruchi, what is done I did, my ground  
Was pity of my country, not malice to't.  
I sought to free wracked Arragon from ruin,  
Which a fond woman's government must bring.  
O had you and the nobles of this land,  
A touch but of the miseries, her weakness  
Must force ye of necessity to feel,  
You would with me have bent your naked swords  
Against this female Mistress of the Crown,  
And not have been such children to have fawned  
Upon a girl's nod.  Petr. 
You are distracted;  
She is our lawful Sovereign, we her Subjects.  Alph. 
Subjects, Petruchi, abjects, and so live;  
I come to die, on to the execution.  Pyn. 
Here's a high Saturnal spirit, Captain.  Buf. 
Pox o'spirits when they mount a man to the hangman's mercy, I do not like such spirits, Let me rather be a moon calf.  Velas. 
I come to bid farewell, and in farewell,  
To excuse my much ill fortune, for believe, Sir,  
I hold my victory an overthrow.  
To tell you how incessantly I plied  
Her Grace, for your remission, were as useless  
As was my suit, I sorry for your youth.  
Let's part yet reconciled.  Alph. 
With all my heart;  
It is my glory, that I was reduced  
By the best man at arms, that ever knighthood  
Hath styled a Soldier— Alas! What souls are those?  
Now, now, in seeing them I die too late.  Buf. 
O brave General, O noble General, we are still the rags of the old Regiment. The truth on't is, we were loath to leave thee, till thy head and shoulders parted companies. But sweet good dear General take courage, what, we are all mortal men, and must every one pass this way, as simple as we stand here.  Alph. 
Give me thy hand, farewell; the Queen is merciful in sparing you; I have not aught to give thee but my last thanks.  Buf. 
Blirt o' giving, our clothes are paid for, and A day will come shall quit us all.  Alph. 
Art thou, and thou there too; well, leave thy art,  
And do not trust the fixions of the stars,  
They spoke no truth by me: My Lord Velasco,  
That creature, there, Muretto, is a man  
Of honest heart, for my sake take him to you:  
And now soft, peace to all.  Pyn. 
I will burn my books, forswear the liberal sciences, and that is my resolution.  Buf. 
Go thy way for the arrantest General, that ever led crew of brave Sketdreus.  Petr. 
Will you make ready, Sir.  Alph. 
Petruchi, yes, I have a debt to pay, 'tis nature's due.  
Fellow before thou ask my pardon, take it;  
Be sure and speedy in thy fatal blow.  Hangm. 
Never fear clean shaving, Sir.  Alph. 
May I have leave to meditate?  Petr. 
You may.  Lodov. 
A gallant resolution, even in death.  Enter Queen, Collummello, Almada, Herophil, and attendants. Col. 
Stay execution 'tis her highness' pleasure;  
Alphonso rise ye, and behold the Queen.  Alph. 
Beshrew the voice of Majesty, my thoughts  
Were fixed upon an upper Region now,  
And traffic not with Earth; alas great woman,  
What newer tyranny, what doom, what torments  
Are borrowed from the conclave of that hell.  
Where legions of worse Devils, then are in hell  
Keep revels, a proud woman's heart. What plagues  
Are broached from thence to kill me?  Pyn. 
The moon is now Lady of the ascendant, and the man will die raving.  Aside. Alm. 
Fie, Alphonso,  
Will you commit another strange commotion  
With your unruly tongue. And what you cannot  
Perform in act, attempt to do in words?  
A dying man be so uncharitable.  Alph. 
Cry mercy, she is Queen of Arragon,  
And would with her own eyes (instead of masks  
And courtly sports) behold an act of death.  
Queen, welcome, Queen, here quaff my blood like wine;  
And live a brave she tyrant.  Qu. 
Alas, poor man.  Alph. 
Poor man, that looks on me, delighted to destroy me.  Buf. 
Good boy i'faith, by this hand o' speaks just as I would do, for all that he is so near being made puddings meat.  Qu. 
You are sorry For your late desperate rudeness, Are you not?  Alph. 
By all my miseries these taunts are cruelty.  
Worse than the hangman's axe, I am not sorry,  
Nay more, will not be sorry, know from me  
I hate your sex in general, not you  
As you're a Queen, but as you're a woman:  
Had I a term of life could last for ever,  
And you could grant it, yes, and would, yet all  
Or more should never reconcile my heart  
To any she alive— are ye resolved?  Qu. 
His spirit flies out in his daring language.  
Alphonso though the law require thy head,  
Yet I have mercy where I see just cause:  
You'll be a new man?  Alph 
Oh! A woman's tongue  
Is sharper than a pointed steel; Tender, Madam,  
I kiss your Royal hand, and call you fair,  
Assure this noble, this uncovered, presence,  
That richest virtue is your bosom's tenant,  
That you are absolutely great and good;  
I'll flatter all the vices of your sex,  
Protesting men are monsters, women Angels,  
No light ones, but full weighty, nature's best,  
I'll proclaim lust a pity, pride a handsomeness.  
Deceit ripeness of wit, bold scandalous scolding,  
A bravery of spirit; bloody cruelty,  
Masculine justice; more I will maintain  
That Queens are chief for rule, you chief of Queens,  
If you'll but give me leave to die in peace.  
Pray give me leave to die. Pray good now do,  
What think ye, 'tis a Royal grant; henceforth  
Heaven be the rest you chose, but never come at.  
A kind farewell to all.  Col. 
Can you endure  
To let a Rebel prate? off with his head,  
And let him then dispute.  Petr. 
I should have used  
The privilege of time, had I known this.  
You must not talk so loud.  Qu. 
My Lords, a word: What if we pardoned him, I think the nearness of his arrival to the stroke of death, Will ever be a warning to his Loyalty.  Alm. 
How pardon him! What means your Majesty?  
What can you hope from one so wholly drowned  
In melancholy and sour discontent;  
That should he share the Crown, a' would employ  
On none but Apes and Flatterers.  Velas. 
Spare, my Lord  
Such liberal censure, rather rein the fury  
Of Justice, then so spur it on. Great Mistress,  
I will not plead my services, but urge  
The glories you may challenge by your mercy.  
It will be a most sweet becoming act  
To set you in the Chronicles of memory.  Qu. 
Velasco, thou art not more brave in arms  
To conquer with thy valour, than thy courtesy.  
Alphonso, take thy life, who took thee prisoner,  
Is now become thy spokesman.  Alph. 
Phew, mock not  
Calamity so grossly.  Velas. 
You are too desperate: The Queen hath freely pardoned you.  Qu. 
And more to purchase kind opinion of thy Sex, ourselves will lend our help. Lords, all your hands.  Lodov. 
But is the Queen in earnest?  Velas. 
It becomes her, Mercy is God like.  Qu. 
Officers be gone.  Exist Officers 
Such objects for a Royal presence are  
Unfit, here kiss our hand, we dare conceive  
That 'twas thy height of youth, not hate of us  
Drew thee to those attempts, and both we pardon.  Muret. 
Do not the stars run a wrong bias now, Signior Pynto?  Pyn. 
Venus is Lady of the Ascendant, man. I knew if once he pass the fatal hour, the influence would work another way.  Muret. 
Very likely, your reasons are infallible.  Qu. 
What can our favours challenge.  Alph. 
More true service,  
True faith, true Love, than I have words to utter.  Qu. 
Which we accept, lead on, here ends this strife,  
When Law craves justice, mercy should grant life.  Exit all but Pynto and his fellows. Pyn. 
Go thy ways for a sure sound brained piece whilst thou livest; Pynto, say I, now, now, am I an ass, now my Masters, hang yourselves, 'S foot, I'll stand to't; that man whoever he be, (better or worse, all's one) who is not star wise, is nature's fool; your Astronomer hath the heavens, the whole globe of the earth, and the vast gulf of the Sea itself, for his proper kingdom, his fee-simple, his own inheritance, who looks any higher than the top of a steeple, or a may pool, is worthy to die in a ditch. But to know the conjunctions of the Planets, the influences of the celestial body, the harmony of the spheres, frost and snow, hail and tempests, rain and sunshine, nay, life and death; here's cunning, to be deep in speculation, to be groping the secrets of nature.  Muret. 
O, Sir, there, there, there.  Pyn. 
Let me alone, I say it myself, I know I am a rare fellow; why, look, look ye, we are all made, or let me be stewed in Star-shut; pish, I am confident, and we shall all mount, believe it.  Buf. 
Shall we, nay, than I am resolved.  Muret. 
friar Bacon was but a brazen head, in comparison of him.  Buf. 
But why should you not have said so much before, goodman jolt-head?  Muret. 
Nay, look ye, Captain, there's a time for all things.  Buf. 
For all this, what will become of us; is the sign lucky to venture the begging of a cast suit? Let me be resolved of that once.  Muret. 
'Twas wisely urged, Captain.  Pyn. 
Man's richest ornament is his nakedness, Gentlemen, variety of clothing is the surquedry of fools; wise men have their proper solace in the linings of their minds; as for fashions, 'tis a disease for a horse.  Muret. 
Never richer stuff came from man.  Buf. 
'Zookes, 'tis a scurvy, a pocky, and a naked answer; a plague of all your sentences; whilst I am like to starve with hunger and cold,  Enter Messenger. Mes. 
By your leave, Gentlemen, the Lord Alphonso hath sent you this purse of gold, commands ye to put yourselves into costly suits, and repair to Court;  All. 
How! To Court!  Mes. 
Where you may happily see him Crowned King, for that's the common report; I was charged to urge you to be very speedy: farewell, Gentlemen.  Exit: Pyn. 
What think ye now, my hearts of gold?  Muret. 
Hearts of gold indeed now, Signior.  Pyn. 
Pish, I am a coxcomb, I; Oh, the divinity of—  Buf. 
bawl no more the weather's cold, I must have utensicles, follow your leader, ho.  Exit all. Enter Velasco and Lodovico. Velas. 
Prithee persuade me not.  Lodov. 
You'll lose your honour.  Velas. 
I'd rather lose my honour then my faith: O, Lodovico, thou art witness with me, that I have sworn, and pledged my heart, my truth to her deserving memory, whose beauty, is through the world unfollowed.  Lodov. 
Here the wisdom of sword men, They deal all by strength not policy. What exercise shall be feigned, let me know that?  Velas. 
Excuse, why, Lodovico, I am sick, And I am sick indeed, sick to the soul.  Lodov. 
For a decayed tilter, or a known Coward, this were tolerable now: But to, the business; I have solicited your widow.  Velas. 
Will she nor speak with me?  Lodov. 
Young widows, and grave old Ones two, by your leave care not so much for talking; if you come once to them you must do, and do, and do again, Again, and again, all's two little, you'll find it.  Velas. 
Come, friend, you mock my miseries  Lodov. 
It's a fine laughing matter when the best and most approved soldier of the world, should be so heartsick for love of a placket: Well I have sent your wise servant (for fools are best to be trusted in women's things) to my cousin Shaparoon's, and by him your second letter, you shall shortly hear what news: My cousin is excellently traded in these mortal businesses of flesh and blood, and will hardly come of with two denials.  Velas. 
If she prevail, Lodovico.  Lodov. 
What then? Ply your occupation when you come to't, 'tis a fit season of the year, women are honey moon if a man could jump with them at the instant, and prick 'em in the right vain; else this Queen would never have saved a Traitor from the block, and suddenly made him her King and Husband. But no more of that, there's danger in't; You're sick you say?  Velas. 
Pierced through with very darts, much worse than death.  Lodov. 
Why your only present remedy is, then as soon as you can, to quench those fires in the watery Channels of qualification: soft, no more words, behold a prodigy.  flourish. Enter Colonnello, Almada bore, Alphonso and the Queen Crowned, Herophil, Petruchi with a Guard, the King and Queen take their States. All. 
Long live Alphonso King of Arragon.  Alph. 
Then we are Sovereign.  Qu. 
As free, as I by birth:  
I yield to you (my Lord) my Crown, my Heart,  
My People, my Obedience; In exchange  
What I demand is Love.  Alph. 
You cannot miss it;  
There is but one thing that all humane power  
Or malice of the Devil could set abroach,  
To work on for a breach twixt you and me.  Qu. 
One thing! Why, is there one thing then, my Lord?  Alph. 
Yes, and 'tis only this; you're still a woman.  Qu. 
A woman! Said you so, sir.  Alph. 
I confess  
You have deserved more service, more regard  
From me, in my particular, than life  
Can thank you for; and that you may conceive  
My fair acknowledgement; although 'tis true,  
I might command; yet I will make a suit,  
An earnest suit t'ee.  Qu. 
It must then be granted.  Alph. 
That to redeem a while some serious thoughts  
Which have misdeemed your sex. You'll be content  
I be a married Bachelor one sennight.  
You cannot but conceive.  Col. 
How's this?  Petr. 
Fine work.  Qu. 
Alas my Lord, this needs no public mention.  Alph. 
Nay, Madam, hear me, that our our Courts be kept  
Under a several roof; that you and I  
May not for such a short time, come together.  Qu. 
I understand you not.  Alph. 
Your patience, Madam,  
You interrupt me, That no message pass  
Of commendation, questioning our healths,  
Our sleeps, our actions, or what else belongs  
To common courtesy, twixt friend, and friend.  
You must be pleased to grant it, I'll have it so.  Qu. 
No message of commends!  Alph. 
Phew, you demur,  
It argues your distrust.  Qu. 
I am content  
The King should be obeyed. Pray heaven all be well.  Alph. 
Velasco, thou were't he didst conquer me,  
Didst take me prisoner? were't in that the means  
To raise me up thus high. I thank thee for't;  
I thought to honour thee in a defence  
Of the Queen's beauty; but we'll now deferr't.  
Yet hand your mistress, lead her to the Court,  
We and our Lords will follow, there we'll part;  
A seven days' absence cannot seem but short.  Ex. all.  

Act II.  Enter Shaparoon and Mopas. Shap. 
And as I said (nay pray my friend be covered) the business hath been soundly followed on my part. Yet again, in good sooth, I cannot abide you should stand bare before me to so little purpose.  Mop. 
Manners is a Jewel (Madam) and as for standing bare, I know there is some difference, the putting down of a man's cap, and the putting down of his breeches before a reverend gentlewoman.  Shap. 
You speak very properly, there is a great deal of difference indeed. But to come to the point; Fie, what a stir I had to make her to receive the letter, and when she had received it, to open it, and then to read it; nay, to read it again and again; that as I am a very woman, a man might have wrong my smock dropping wet, with the pure sweat that came from my body. Friend, I took such pains with her. Oh my conscience, to bear a child at those years would not trouble me half so much as the delivery of that letter did.  Mop. 
A manchild of my age perhaps, Madam, would not.  Shap. 
Yet that were a sore burden for one that is not used to't, I may tell you. O these coy girls are such wild cattle to have dealing with.  Mop. 
What ancient Madams cannot do one way, let them do another; she's a rank Jade that being past the breeder, cannot kick up her heels, wince, and cry wee-hee: good examples cannot choose from ones elders, but work much to the purpose, being well plied, and in season.  Shap. 
In season? True, that's a chief thing; yes, I'll assure you my friend, I am but entering into eight and twenty.  Mop. 
Wants somewhat of that too, I take it; I warrant ye your mark appears yet to be seen for proof of your age, as plain as when you were but fifteen.  Shap. 
Truly, if it were well searched, I think it does.  
Your name is Mopas, you told me?  Mop. 
Mopas my name is, and yours Madam Shaparoon I was told.  Shap. 
A right Madam born I can assure ye.  Mop. 
Your Ancestors will speak that, for the Shaparoons have ever took place of the best French-hoods in the parish; ever since the first addition.  Shap. 
All this with a great deal of modesty I must confess. Ud's Pittikins, stand by, aside a little: see where the lady comes; do not appear before you are called, in any case: but mark how I will work her like wax.  Enter Salassa reading a letter. Salas. 
Your servant in all commands Velasco. So, and I am resolved to put ye to the test, servant, for your free fools heart, ere I give you the slip, I warrant ye.  Shap. 
Your ladyship hath considered the premises ere this time, at full, I hope.  Salas. 
O, Shaparoon, you keep true sentinel, what? I must give certain answer; must I not?  Shap. 
Nay, Madam, you may choose, 'tis all in your ladyship's discreet consideration. The sum of all is, that if you show him not some favour, he is no long lives man.  Salas. 
Very well; how long have you been a factress for such Merchants, Shaparoon.  Shap. 
O my Religion! I a factress? I am even well enough served for my good will; and this is my requital. Factress, quoth you?  Salas. 
Come, your intercession shall prevail, which is his letter carrier?  Mop. 
At your ladyship's service.  Salas. 
Your Lord Velasco sent you?  Mop. 
Most true, sweet madam.  Salas. 
What place hold you about him?  Mop. 
I am his Drugster, Madam.  Salas. 
What Sir?  Mop. 
Being hard bound with melancholy, I give him a purge, with two or three soluble stools of laughter.  Salas. 
Belike you are his fool, or his jester.  Mop. 
Jester if you please, but not fool, Madam; for babbles belong to fools, and they are then only fit for lady's secrecies, not for Lords.  Salas. 
But is he indeed sick of late?  Shap. 
Alas good heart, I suffer for him.  Enter Lodovico. Lodov. 
By your leave lady, without ceremony, you know me, and may guess my errand.  Salas. 
Yet more trouble, nay, than I shall be hailshot.  Lodov. 
To be brief. By the honours of a good name, you are a dry-skinned widow, and did not my haste concern the life of the noblest Gentleman in Europe, I would as much scorn employments of this nature to you, as I do a proud woman of your condition.  Mop. 
I marry here's one will thunder her widowhood into flitters: stand to't, Signior, I am your second.  Salas. 
Sir you're uncivil to exclaim against a lady in her own house.  Lodov. 
A lady, yet a paraquito, popinjay, your whole worth lies in your gay out side, and your squawling tongue.  
A Wagtail is a glorious fowl in respect of many of ye.  
Though most of ye are in nature as very fowl as wagtails.  Salas. 
Are such as you the Lord Velasco's agents in his hot affection?  Shap. 
Sweet x, Lodovico, pray now, the lady is most virtuously resolved.  Mop. 
Hark ye middle-aged countess, do not take another's tale into your mouth, I have occasion to use you in private, and can find you work enough myself, a word in your ear.  Salas. 
I protest, I meant more noble answer for his satisfaction, then ever your railing language shall force from me.  Lodov. 
Were I the man that doted on you, I would take a shorter course with you, than to come humbly whining to your sweet— pox of all such ridiculous foppery— I would—  Salas. 
Weep yourself to death, and be chronicled among the regiment of kind tender hearted souls.  Lodov. 
Indeed, forsooth, I would not; what, for a widow one that hath jumped the old moils trot, so oft, that the sciatica founders her yet in both her thighs.  Salas. 
You abuse me grossly.  Lodov. 
One that hath been so often drunk with satiety of pleasure, that fourteen husbands are but as half a draught to quench her thrust in an afternoon.  Salas. 
I will no longer endure ye.  Lodov. 
For you, you? That are neither noble, wife, rich, fair, nor well-favoured. For you?  Mop: 
You are all these, if you can keep your own counsel and let nobody know, Mistress Madam.  Shap. 
Nay I am so persuaded, and assure yourself nobody shall know.  Lodov. 
Yet forsooth, must you be the only precious piece the Lord Velasco must adore, must die for. But I vow, if he do miscarry, (as I fear he cannot recover.)  Salas. 
Goodness forbid, Alas! Is he sick, sir?  Lodov. 
Excellent dissimulation! Yes sure, he is sick, and an everlasting silence strike you dumb that are the cause on't. But, as I said, if he do go the wrong way, as I love virtue, your ladyship shall be ballasted through all Christendom, and sung to sciroy tunes, and your picture drawn over every ballad, sucking of rotten eggs among weasels.  Salas. 
Pray give me leave; Is Lord Velasco sick? And lies there ought in me to comfort, or recover him?  Lodov. 
Marry does there, the more Infidel he: And what of all this now?  Salas. 
What would you have me do?  Lodov. 
'Wonders, either go and visi him, or admit him to visit you; these are mighty favours are they not?  Salas. 
Why, good Sir, I will grant the later willingly; he shall be kindly welcome.  Lodov. 
And laughed at while he is here: shall a not?  Salas. 
What would you have me say? My best entertainment shall be open to him; I will discourse to him freely, if he requires it privately: I will be all what in honour I should.  Lodov. 
Certify him so much by letter.  Salas. 
That cannot stand with my modesty, my word and truth shall be my gage.  Lodov. 
Enough, do this, and by this hand I'll ask you pardon for my rudeness, and ever heartily honour you.  Map. 
I shall hear from you when my leisures serves.  Shap. 
Most assuredly. Good destinies speed your journey.  Mop. 
All happiness ride ever before you, your disgraces behind you, and and full pleasure in the midst of ye.  Exeunt. Enter Bufo in fresh apparel, ushering: Herophil. Her. 
My over kind, Captain, what would you say?  Buf. 
Why, Mistress, I would say, as a man might say forsooth, indeed I would say.  Her. 
What, Captain?  Buf. 
Even whatsoever you would have me to say, forsooth.  Her. 
If that be all, pray say nothing.  Buf. 
Why look ye, Mistress, all what I say if you mark it well, is just nothing; As for example, To tell you that you are fair, is nothing, for you know it yourself; to say you were honest, were an indignity to your beauty, and upon the matter nothing, for honesty in a fair woman is as good as nothing.  Her. 
That is somewhat strange to be proved.  Buf. 
To a good wit, dear Mistress, nothing's impossible.  Her. 
Sure the Court and your new clothes have infected you: Would I were a purse of gold, for your sake, Captain, to reward your wit.  Buf. 
I would you were, mistress, so you were not counterfeit metal, I should soon try you on the too true touchstone of my affections, indeed forsooth.  Her. 
Well, witty Captain, for your love I must pass away in debt, but will not fail to think on't. But now I am in haste.  Buf. 
If you would but grant me but one poor request, before you go, I should soon dispatch and part.  Her. 
Name it, Captain.  Buf. 
Truly, and as I live, 'tis a very small trifle for your part, all things considered.  Her. 
But cannot you tell what it is?  Buf. 
That were a fine jest indeed, why, I would desire, entreat, and beseech you.  Her. 
What to do?  Buf. 
There you have it, and thank you too.  Her. 
I understand you not.  Buf. 
Why, To do with you, forsooth, to do with you.  Her. 
To do what?  Buf. 
In plain words, I would commit with you, or as the more learned phrase it, if you be pleased to consent, I would ravish you.  Her. 
Fie, fie, Captain, so uncivil, you made me blush.  Buf. 
Do I say; why, I am glad I have it for you: Soldiers are hot upon service, mistress, and a wise man's bolt is soon shot; as the proverb says:  Her. 
Good Captain, keep up your bolt till I am at leisure to stand fair for your mark. If the Court Stallions prove all so rank, I will vow all to ride henceforth upon an ass; so, Captain, I must leave you.  Exit Herophil. Buf. 
Farewell heartily to you forsooth.  
Go thy ways for as true a Mistress as ever fouled clean nappery. This same whoreson Court diet, cost, lodging, change of clothes, and ease, have addicted me villainously to the itch of concupiscence.  Enter Alphonso; Pynto and Muretto complementing on either side of him. Alph. 
They all shall not entreat me.  Muret. 
Your Majesty were no King, if your own will were not your own law.  Pyn. 
Always, my Lord, observing the domination of the Planets: As if Mars and Venus being in conjunction, and their influence working upon your frailty; then in any case you must not resist the motion of the celestial bodies.  Muret. 
All which (most gracious Sovereign) this most famous scholar will at a minute foretell.  Buf. 
All hail to the King himself, my very good Liege, Lord, and most gracious benefactor.  Alph. 
What need I other counsellors then these.  
Shall I be forced to be a woman's slave? That may live free, and hate their fickle sex.  Muret. 
O 'tis a glorious virtue in so magnificent a Prince to abstain from the sensual surfeits of fleshly and wanton appetites.  Alph. 
I find the inclination of such follies.  
Why, what are women?  Buf. 
Very pleasant pretty necessary toys, an't please your Majesty; I myself could pass the time with them, as occasion might serve, eight and forty hours out right, one to one always provided.  Pyn. 
Yet of all the seven planets, there are but two women among them, and one of them two is chaste, which is, as good as if she were a boy.  Muret. 
That is not to be questioned; the best of women are but troubles and vexations, 'tis man that retains all true perfection, and of all men your Majesty.  Enter Almada and Collummello. Alph. 
Ye are too rude to enter on our privacies, without our licence, speak, your business Lords.  Alm. 
We came from your most virtuous Queen.  Alph. 
No more.  Col. 
A month is well nigh passed, and yet you slack  
Your love to her: What mean you, sir, so strangely  
To slight a wife whose griefs grow now too high,  
For womanhood to suffer.  Alm. 
Is't your pleasure  
To admit her to your bosom?  Alph. 
You're too saucy.  
Return, and quickly too, and tell her thus;  
If she intend to keep her in our favour,  
Let us not see her.  Col. 
Say you so, Great Sir;  
You speak it but for trial  All. 
Ha, ha, ha.  Col. 
O, Sir, remember what you are, and let not  
The insinuations of these servile creatures,  
Made only men by you, sooth and traduce  
Your safety to a known and wilful danger.  
Fix in your thoughts the ruin you have scaped;  
Who freed you; who hath raised you to this height,  
And you will then awake your judgement's eye:  
The Commons murmur, and the streets are filled  
With busy whispers: Yet in time recall  
Your violence.  Alph. 
As I am King, the tongue Forfeits his head that speaks another word.  Muretto, 
Talk we not now like a King?  Muret. 
Like one that hath the whole World for his proper Monarchy, and it becomes you Royally.  Enter Queen, Petruchi, and Herophil. Buf. 
The Queen, and my Mistress; O brave, we shall have some doings hard to hand now, I hope.  Alph. 
What means the woman? Ha! Is this the duty  
Of a good wife, we sent not for you, did we?  Qu. 
The more my duty that I came unsent for;  
Wherein my gracious Lord have I offended?  
Wherein have I transgressed against thy laws  
O sacred Marriage? To be sequestered  
In the first spring and April of my joys  
From you, much dearer to me, than my life?  
By all the honour of a spotless bed,  
Show me my fault, and I will turn away,  
And be my own swift executioner.  Alph. 
I take that word. Know then you married me  
Against my will, and that's your fault  Qu. 
Alas! Against your will? I dare not contradict  
What you are pleased to urge. But by the love  
I bore the King of Arragon, (an oath  
As great as I can swear by) I conceived  
Your words to be true speakers of your heart,  
And I am sure they were; you swore they were.  
How should I but believe, that loved so dearly?  Alph. 
Come then you are a trifler, for by this  
I know you love me not.  Qu. 
Is that your fear?  
Why la now, Lords, I told you that the King  
Made our division but a proof of faith.  
Kind husband, now I'm bold to call you so;  
Was this your cunning to be jealous of me  
So soon? We women are fine fools  
To search men's pretty subtleties.  Muret. 
You'll scarce find it so  Aside. Alph. 
She would persuade me strangely.  Qu. 
Prithee, Sweet heart,  
Force not thyself to look so sadly; troth  
It suits not with thy love, 'tis well. Was this  
Your se'ennight's respite? Yet, as I am a Queen,  
I feared you had been in earnest.  Alph. 
Earnest: Hence  
Monstrous enchantress, by the death I owe  
To Nature, thou appear'st to me in this  
More impudent than impudence, the tide  
Of thy luxurious blood is at the full;  
And cause thy raging pleurisy of lust  
Cannot be sated by our royal warmth,  
Thou triest all cunning petulant charms to raise  
A wanton devil up in our chaste breast.  
But we are Canon-proof against the shot  
Of all thy arts.  Qu. 
Was't you spoke that, my Lord?  Pyn. 
Phaeton is just over the orb of the moon, his horses are got loose, and the heavens begin to grow into a combustion.  Alph. 
I'll sooner dig a dungeon in a molehill,  
And hide my crown there, that both fools and children  
May trample o'er my Royalty, then ever  
Lay it beneath an antic woman's feet.  
Couldst thou transshape thyself into a man,  
And with it be more excellent than man  
Can be; yet since thou were't a woman once,  
I would renounce thee.  Petr. 
Let the King remember  
It is the Queen he speaks too.  Alph. 
Pish, I know  
She woúld be well contented but to live  
Within my presence; not for love to me,  
But that she might with safety of her honour,  
Mix with some hot veined lecher, whose prone lust  
Should feed the rank impostume of desires,  
And get a race of bastards, to whose birth  
I should be thought the Dad. But thou, thou woman,  
ere I will be the cloak to thy false play,  
I'll couple with a witch, a hag; for if  
Thou canst live chaste, live by thy sel like me.  
Or if thou wouldst persuade me that thou lov'st me,  
See me no more, never. From this time forth  
I hate thy sex; of all thy sex, thee worst.  Exit Alphonso, Bufo, Pynto. Alm. 
Madam, dear Madam, yet  
Take comfort, time will work all for the best  Qu. 
Where must I go?  Col. 
You're in your own Kingdom, 'tis your birthright,  
We all your Subjects; not a man of us,  
But to the utmost of his life, will right  
Your wrongs against this most unthankful King.  Qu. 
Away, ye are all Traitors to profane  
His sacred merits with your bitter terms.  
Why, am I not his Wife? A wife must bear  
Withal what likes her Lord t'upbraid her with,  
And yet 'tis no injustice. What was't he said?  
That I no more should see him, never, never.  
There I am quite divorced from all my joys,  
From all my paradise of life. Not see him?  
'Twas too unkind a task. But he commanded  
I cannot but obey. Where's Herophil?  Her. 
Here Madam.  Qu. 
Go hang my Chamber all with mourning black;  
Seal up my windows, let no light survey,  
The subtle tapers that must eye my griefs.  
Get from me Lords, I will defy ye all,  
You're men, and men (O me) are all unkind.  
Come hither Herophil, spread all my robes,  
My jewels and apparel on the floor,  
And for a Crown get me a Willow wreath:  
No, no, that's not my colour, buy me a veil  
engrained in tawny. Alas, I am forsaken,  
And none can pity me.  Petr. 
By all the faith  
I owe to you my sovereign, if you please  
To enjoy me any service, I will prove  
Most ready and most true,  Qu. 
Why should the King  
Despise me? I did never cross his will,  
Never gainsaid his, yea; yet sure I fear  
He hath some ground for his displeasure.  Her. 
None,  
Unless because you saved him from the block.  Qu. 
Art thou a prattler too? Peace, Herophil,  
Tempt not a desperate woman. No man here  
Dares do my last commends to him.  Muret. 
If your excellent Majesty please to repose confidence in me; I will not only deliver him your commendations, but think myself highly dishonoured, if he return not his back to you by letter.  Petr. 
Off beast, made all of baseness, do not grieve  
Calamity, or as I am a knight,  
I'll cut thy tongue out.  Muret. 
Sweet Signior, I protest—  Exit Muretto. Petr. 
Madam, believe him not, he is a Parasite;  
Yet one the King doth dote on.  Qu. 
Then beshrew ye,  
You had not used him gently, had I known't,  
I would have kneeled before him, and have sent  
A handful of my tears unto the King.  
Away, my Lords, here is no place to revel  
In our discomfits. Herophil, let's haste,  
That thou and I may heartily like widows  
Bewail my bridal mocked Virginity.  Col. 
Let's follow her my lords; I fear too late  
The King will yet repent these rude divisions.  Exeunt. Enter Velasco, Lodovico, Mopas. Lodov. 
Compliment? 'Tis for barber's shops; know your own worth, you speak to a frail commodity; and barter't away roundly, my Lord.  Velas. 
She promised free discourse?  Lodov. 
She did: Are ye answered?  Enter Salassa, Shaparoon. Shap. 
Madam, my Lord Velasco is come, use him nobly and kindly, or— I say no more.  Salas. 
To a poor widow's house my Lord is welcome.  
Your lordship honours me in this favour; in what thankful entertainment I can, I shall strive to deserve it.  Shap. 
Your sweet lordship is most heartily welcome, as I may say.  Mop. 
Instead of a letter, Madam good-face, on my Lord's behalf, I am bold to salute you.  Lodov. 
Madam Salassa, not distrusting the liberty you granted, now you and my Lord are in you own house, we will attend ye in the next room; Away, Cousin; follow, sirrah.  Shap. 
It is a woman part to come behind.  Mop. 
But for two men to pass in before one woman, 'tis too much a conscience; on reverend antiquity.  Exit Lodovico, Shaparoon, Mopas. Salas. 
What is your lordship's pleasure?  Velas. 
To rip up  
A story of my fate. When by the Queen  
I was employed against the late Commotioners,  
(Of whom the now King was chief Leader) then  
In my return you pleased to entertain me  
Here in your house.  Salas. 
Much good may it do your lordship.  Velas. 
But then, what conquest gained I by that conquest,  
When here mine eyes, and your commanding beauty  
Made me a prisoner to the truest love,  
That ever warmed a heart.  Salas. 
Who might that be?  Velas. 
You, Lady, are the deity I adore,  
Have kneeled too in my heart, have vowed my soul to,  
In such a debt of service, that my life  
Is tenant to your pleasure.  Salas. 
Phew, my Lord;  
It is not nobly done to mock me thus.  Velas. 
Mock you? Most fair Salassa, if e'er truth  
Dwelled in a tongue, my words and thoughts are twins.  Salas. 
You wrong your honour in so mean a choice.  
Can it be though, that that brave man, Valasco,  
Sole Champion of the world, should look on me?  
On me, a poor lone Widow? 'Tis impossible.  Valas. 
I am poorer  
In my performance now, then ever; so poor,  
That vows and protestations want fit credit  
With me to vow the least part of a service  
That might deserve your favour.  Salas. 
You are serious?  Velas. 
Lady, I wish that for a present trial,  
Against the custom of so sweet a nature,  
You would be somewhat cruel in commands.  
You dare not sist the honour of my faith  
By any strange injunction, which the speed  
Of my glad undertaking should not cheerfully  
Attempt, or perish in the sufferance of it.  Salas. 
You promise Lordly.  Velas. 
You too much distrust  
The constancy of truth.  Salas. 
It were unnoble,  
On your part to demand a gift of bounty,  
More than the freedom of a fair allowance,  
Confirmed by modesty and reason's warrant  
Might without blushing yield unto.  Velas. 
Oh, fear not,  
For my affections aim at chaste contents;  
Not at unruly passions of desire.  
I only claim the title of your servant,  
The flight of my ambitions soars no higher,  
Then living in your grace, and for encouragement  
To quicken my attendance now and then  
A kind unravished kiss.  Salas. 
That's but a fee,  
Due to a fair deserver: but admit  
I grant it, and you have it; may I then  
Lay a light burden on you.  Velas. 
What is possible  
For me to venture on, by how much more  
It carries danger in't; by so much more  
My glory's in the achievement.  Salas. 
I must trust ye.  Velas. 
By all the virtues of a soldier's name,  
I vow and swore.  Salas. 
Enough, I take that oath: And thus myself first do confirm your warrant.  Velas. 
I feel new life within me.  Salas. 
Now be Steward,  
For your own store, my lord, and take possession  
Of what you have purchased freely.  Velas. 
With a joy.  
As willing as my wishes can arrive at.  kisses her. Salas. 
So, I may claim your oath now.  Velas. 
I attend it.  Salas. 
Velasco, I do love thee, and am jealous  
Of thy spirit, which is hourly apt  
To catch at actions; if I must be Mistress  
Of thee and my own will, thou must be subject  
To my improvements.  Velas. 
'Tis my soul's delight.  Salas. 
You're famed the only fighting Sir alive;  
But what's this; if you be not safe to me.  Velas. 
By all—  Salas. 
you shall not swore, take heed of perjury.  
So much I fear your safety, that I command,  
For two years' space, you shall not wear a sword,  
A dagger, or stelletto; shall not fight  
On any quarrel be it ne'er so just.  Velas. 
Lady!  Salas. 
Hear more yet; if you be baffled, Railed at, scorned, mocked struck, baffled, kicked,  Velas. 
(O Lady!)  Salas. 
Spit on, reviled, challenged, provoked by fools,  
Boys, antics, cowards.  Velas. 
('Tis intolerable.)  Salas. 
I charge you (by your oath) not to reply  
In word, deed, look: and lastly, I conjure ye  
Never to show the cause to any living  
By circumstance or by equivocation;  
Nor till two years expire to motion love.  Velas. 
Why do you play the Tyrant thus?  Salas. 
'Tis common  
T'observe how love hath made a Coward valiant;  
But that a man as daring as Velasco,  
Should to express his duty to a Mistress,  
Kneel to his own disgraces, and turn Coward,  
Belongs to me and to my glories only;  
I'm Empress of this miracle. Your oath  
Is past, if you will lose yourself you may.  
How d''ee, Sir?  Velas. 
Woman thou art vain and cruel.  Salas. 
willt please your lordship taste a cup of wine,  
Or stay and sup, and take a hard bed here?  
Your friends think we have done strange things this while.  
Come let us walk like Lovers: I am pitiful,  
I love no quarrels.  Velas. 
Triumph in my ruins.  
There is no act of folly but is common  
In use and practise to a scornful woman.  Exeunt.  

Act III.  Enter Alphonso, Almada, Muretto, Bufo, Pynto, and attendants. Alph. 
You have prevailed, yet ere you came (my Lord)  
Muretto, here this right, right, honest man  
Confirmed me throughly, now to witness further  
With what a gratitude I love the Queen.  
Reach me a bowl of wine.  Alm. 
Your Majesty more honours me, in making me the Messenger of this most happy concord, than addition of greatness can express.  Muret. 
I ever told you,  
How you would his Grace, inclined at last  Pyn. 
The very Jove of benignity, by whose gentle aspect the whole sphere of this Court and Kingdom are (like the lesser orbs) moved round in the harmony of affability.  Enter one with wine. Alph. 
My Lord Almado, health unto your Mistress,  
A hearty health, a deep one.  Alm. 
upon my knee  
My duty gladly answers  drinks. Alph. 
Give him wine.  
There's not a man whoever in our Court  
(Greater or meaner) but shall pledge this health,  
In honour of our Queen, our virtuous Queen.  
Commend us, and report us as you find.  Alm. 
Great Sir, I shall with joy.  Alph. 
Bufo and Pynto,  
All in, and drink, drink deep, let none be spared,  
Comers or goers, none.  Buf. 
Away my hearts.  Pyn. 
we'll tickle it till the welkin blussle again, and all the fixed Stars dance the old measures.  Muret. 
I shall attend to wait upon your lordship to the caroche.  Exeunt. Manet Alphonso. Alph. 
So, so, far reaching policy, I adore thee,  
Will hug thee as my darling  
Shallow fools  
Dive not into the pitch of regular Statists.  
Henceforth my Stratagem's of scorn and hatred  
Shall kill in smiles. I will not strike and frown,  
But laugh and murder.  Enter Muretto. Alph. 
Welcome, are we safe?  Muret. 
Most free from interruption: The Lord Velasco is newly entered the Court; I have given the watch word that they ply him mainly; the conclusion (I know cannot but break off in hurleburly.  Alph, 
Good, good, I hate him mortally. 'Twas he  
Slaved me to th' hangman's axe: But now go on;  
Petruchi is the man, you say, must stand  
The Champion of her lust.  Muret. 
There may be yet virtuous intention even in bad actions, in lewd words, I urge no further than likelihoods may inform.  Alph. 
Phew, that's thy nobleness: But now Muretto,  
The eye of luxury speaks loud in silence.  Muret. 
Why look ye, Sir, I must confess I observed some odd amorous glances, some sweet familiar courteous toying smiles; a kind of officious boldness in him, Princelike and Queenlike allowance of that boldness in him again; sometimes I might warily overhear her whispers. But what of all this? There might be no harm meant.  Alph. 
Fie, no, the grafting of my forehead, nothing else.  
Grafting, grafting, Muretto, A most Gentlemanlike exercise; a very mystery belongs to't.  
And now and then they walk thus, arm in arm, twist fingers: ha. Would they not Muretto?  Muret. 
'Tis wondrous fit a great Queen should be supported, Sir; and for the best lady of 'em all, to discourse familiarly with her supporter, is courtly and passing innocent.  Alph. 
She and Petruchi did so?  Muret. 
And at her passing to her private lodgings, attended only with her lady in ordinary. Petruchi alone went in before her.  Alph. 
Is't true! Went in before her! Canst prove that?  Muret. 
Your Majesty is too quick, too apprehensive of the worst: I meant he performed the office of an Usher.  Alph. 
Guilty apparently: Monstrous woman! Beast!  
Were these the fruits of her dissembling tears!  
Her puling, and her heart sighs. But, Muretto.  
I will be swift Muretto, swift and terrible.  Muret. 
I am such another Coxcomb; O my side too.  
Yet faith, let me persuade ye; I hope your wife is virtuous.  Alph. 
Virtuous? The Devil she is, 'tis most impossible.  
What kiss and toy, wink, prate, yet be virtuous?  Muret. 
Why not Sir? I think now a woman may lie four or five nights together with a man, and yet be chaste; though that be very hard, yet so long as 'tis possible, such a thing may be.  Alph. 
I have it, we'll confer; let's stand aside.  Enter Bufo and another Groom with wine, both drunk; Bufo handing Velasco by the shoulders. Buf. 
Not drink more? By this hand you shall drink eleven whole healths, if your cap be wool or beaver; and that's my resolution.  Gro. 
'Sfoot, eleven score, without dishonour be it spoken to any man's person out of this place.  Velas. 
Prithee, I can no more, 'tis a profession  
I dare not practice, nay, I will not.  Buf. 
How will not? Not her queenship's health?  
Hark ye, thy stinking and unwholesome words—  
Will not— You will not— You say you will not?  Velas. 
I say so, pray be answered.  Gro. 
Pox of all flinchers; if a' saysay 'a will not,  
Let him choose, like an arrant dry lord as he is.  Buf. 
Give me the bowl, I must be valiant.  
You, Sirrah, man at arms; Here's a carouse  
To the King, the Queen, and myself.  Gro. 
Let't come, I ll have that i'faith,  
Sweet, sweet, sweet, Captain.  Buf. 
Hold, give the lord first, drink it up lord, do, ump.  Velas. 
Away I say, I am not in the tune.  Buf. 
Tune, tune? 'Sblood, d''ee take us for fiddlers, scrappers, rhyme canters by tune? By this light, I'll scourge ye like a town top: Look ye, I am urged— Ump— And there's a side blow for ye, like a sober thing as ye are.  Gro. 
well done i'faith, precious Captain.  Velas. 
Dar'st thou do this to me knowing who I am?  Buf. 
Yes, in the way of daring, I dare kick you thus, thus, Sir up and down. There's a jolt on the bum too: How d''ee like it?  Velas. 
'Tis well! You use the privilege of the place.  
There was a time the best of all this Court  
Durst not have lift a hand against me then.  
But I must bear it now.  Alph. 
Is not this strange Muretto?  Muret. 
I can scantly credit mine own eyes: The Captain follows his instructions perfectly.  Buf. 
Not drink? Mahound, Infidel.  
I will fillip thy nose, spit in thy face,  
Mongrel; brave, a Commander, ha?  Velas. 
O woman-woman-woman.  Buf. 
That's a lie, a stark one, 'tis known I ne'er was a woman in my life. I am weary beating of him, and can stand no longer. Groom, kick him thou up and down in my behalf; or by this flesh I'll swinge you, sirrah.  Gro. 
Come aloft, Jackanapes: come aloft; sirrah.  kicks, beats him. Alph. 
Why sure Velasco dares not fight.  Muret. 
It must be some or other hath bewitched him.  Enter Pynto. Pyn. 
Avaunt, I saw twelve dozen of Cuckolds in the middle region of the air, galloping on a black Jack, Eastward ho. It is certain that every dozen went for a company, and they are now become a corporation. Aries and Taurus, the Bull and the Ram, two head signs, shall be henceforth their recognisances, set up in the grand hall of their politic convocations— whirr, whirr, there, there, just under the rainbow ambles Mercury, the thin bearded thief that stole away the draper's wife, while the good man was made drunk at the Stillyard, at a beaver of Dutch bread and Rhenish wine, and lay all night in pure holland in's stockings and shoes. Pish, Talk not to me, I will maintain against the Universities of both the Indies, that one Alderman's horse is more right worshipful, than any six Constables, brown bills and all. Now, now, now, my brains burn in Sulphur, and thus will I stalk about; and swim through a whole Element of dainty, neat, brisk, rich claret, canary, or maligo. Am not I Pynto, have not I hiren here? What art thou, a full moon, or a moon calf?  Buf. 
No, no, 'tis a dry Stockfish, that must be beaten tender.  Velas. 
Was ever man so much a slave as I?  Pyn. 
Does Saturn wince? Down with him, let Charles his wain run over his North pole; it shall be justified too.  Gro. 
Now, Sir, having taken a little breath, have at ye once more, and I have done.  Enter Mopas and Lodovico. Mop. 
Clubs, clubs, I have been the death of two brewer's horses, and two catchpoles, myself, and now be tried by two fools and ten knaves: O monstrous base, horrible; is my lord past recovery?  Velas. 
Hold, prithee, fellow hold, I have no sword,  
Or if I had, I dare not strike again.  Buf. 
Uds bones, were ye an invincible Armado,  
I'd pound ye all like brown paper rags.  Lodov. 
Let me be strucken blind! The shame of fate;  
Velasco, baffled, and not dare to strike!  
Dogs, drunken dogs, I'll whip ye to your kennels.  Velas. 
Nay good, forbear.  Mop. 
Bilbo come forth and show thy fox's tail.  
Nay, nay, give me liquour, and I'll fight like a roarer.  Pyn. 
Keep standing ho; the Almanac says plainly 'tis no season to be let blood, the sign is mortal. Hold!  Alph. 
Yes I command. Uncivil ill bred beasts.  
How dares ye turn our palace to a booth?  
How dare the proudest of ye all lift up  
A hand against the meanest of those creatures  
Whom we do own for ours? Now, now you spit  
The ancient rancour of you bitter galls  
Wherewith you strove to wound us heretofore.  Lodov. 
We are abused, My Lord.  Alph. 
Fellow, Thou liest.  
Our Royal eyes beheld the pride and malice  
Of thee Velasco; who in hate to us  
Deniest to honour our remembrance, though  
But in a pledged health.  Velas. 
Therein I was wronged.  Alph. 
No, therein all thy cunning could not hide  
The rage of thy malicious heart to us;  
Yet know, for trial of thy love we caused  
This onset, we will justify the height  
Of thy disgraces; what they did was ours.  
Hence Coward, baffled, kicked, despised and spurned.  Buf. 
Hang thyself; a pox on thee.  Exit Alphonso, Muretto, Pynto, Bufo, Groom. Lodov. 
O you're undone: What Devil,  
Hag, or Witch  
Hath stolen your heart away?  Velas. 
I cannot tell.  Lodov. 
Not fight 'tis enough to shame us all.  Velas. 
Happy was I, that living lived alone,  
Velasco was a man then, now is none.  Exeunt. Mop. 
Is't even so, no man now; then I smell how things stand: I'll lay my life, his lady sweet heart hath given him the Gleek, and he in return hath gelded himself, and so both lost his courage and his wits together.  Exit. Enter Queen, Almado, Collumello, Petruchi and Herophil. Qu. 
Speak o'er the words again; and good my lord  
Be sure you speak the same, the very words;  
Our Queen, our virtuous Queen; Was't so?  Alm. 
Just so;  
And was withal in carriage so most kind,  
So Princely, that I must do wrong to gratitude,  
In wanting action to express his love.  Qu. 
I am the happiest she that lives. Petruchi,  
Was I mistook or no? Why good my lords,  
Observe it well. There is a holy league  
Confirmed and ratified twixt Love and Fate.  
This sacred Matrimonial tie of hearts,  
Called marriage, has Divinity within't.  
Prithee, Almado, tell me, smiled the King  
When he commended to me?  Alm. 
Madam, yes;  
And affably concluded all in this;  
Commend us, and report us as you find.  Qu. 
For love's sakes, no man prattle of distrust.  
It shall be treason whosoever says  
The King's unkind. My thinks I am all air,  
My soul has wings.  Petr. 
And we are all o'erjoyed  
In this sweet reconciliation.  Qu. 
we'll visit him (my Lords) in some rich mask  
Of rare device, as thus; Pish, now I think on't,  
The world yields not variety enough  
Of cost, that's worthy of his Royal eyes,  
Why Herophil?  Her. 
Here, Madam.  Qu. 
Now beshrew me  
But I could weep for anger— If 'twere possible  
To get a chariot cut out of a rock,  
Made all of one whole Diamond, drawn all on Pavements  
Of pearls and amber, by four Ivory steeds  
Of perfect Crystal; this were worth presenting.  
Or some bright cloud of Sapphires— Fie you are all  
So dull, you do not love me.  Col. 
You're transported  
To strange impossibilities: our service  
Shall wait upon your happiness.  Qu. 
Nay, nay,  
I know you laugh at me, and well you may;  
I talk I know not what. I would 'twere fit  
To ask one question of ye.  All. 
Madam, any thing.  Qu. 
You'll swear that I am Idle, yet you know  
'Tis not my custom; Look upon me well;  
Am I as fair as Herophil?  Petr. 
Yes, Madam,  
Or any other creature else alive.  Qu. 
You make me blush in troth. O would the King  
Could see me with your eyes. Or would I were  
Much courser than I am to all the world;  
So I might only seem more fair to him.  Enter Velasco and Lodovico. 
See here come more. Velasco, thou art welcome.  
Welcome kind Lodovico. You I know  
Bring fresh supplies of comfort; do not cloud  
Your news with circumstance: Say, doth the King  
Expect me? Yes, good man, I know he does.  
Speak briefly, good my Lord, and truly.  Velas. 
Madam, Take all at once, he is the King;  
And Kings may do their pleasures.  Qu. 
True, Velasco.  
But I have from my heart forgot remembrance  
Of former passages, the world is changed:  
Is a' notnot justly royal?  Lodov. 
Would a' werewere, I wish it for your sake Madam, but my wishes and his inclinations are quite opposite.  Petr. 
What said you, Lodovico?  Lodov. 
Thus Petruchi. Velasco hath been by the King disgraced, by his minions abused, baffled, they justified by the King in't. In a word; Alphonso is, and will be the scourge of Arragon.  Qu. 
I'll stop my ears, they sha'not let in poison,  
Rank treacherous searching poison.  Alm. 
'Tis impossible.  Qu. 
Yes, 'tis impossible; but now I see  
You're all agreed to curse me in the height  
Of my prosperities. O that at once  
I could have leave to die and shun the times.  Enter Muretto. Muret. 
His excellent Majesty by me commends to your Royal hands this letter, Madam.  Qu. 
Why thus I kiss,  
And kiss again; Welcome, whate'er it speaks.  Muret. 
That you may all conceive (my Lords) the Kings hearty zeal to unity and goodness, he by me entreats your attendance on the Queen to him: To you Signior, Petruchi, he sends this Diamond from his own finger.  Petr. 
You strike me into wonder.  Muret. 
I should excuse his highness' violence to you, my lord Velasco; but he says, that your own indiscretion deserved your late reproof: And further, (pardon me that I mince not the sum of his injunction) he says your cowardice is now so vulgarly palpable, that it cannot stand with his honour to countenance so degenerating a spirit.  Velas. 
I thank him; yet, if you remember well;  
Both he and you proved me another man.  Qu. 
The sweetest letter that ever was writ:  
Come we must to the King— How! 'Tis my ring,  
The first ring that I ever gave the King.  
Petruchi, I must have it.  Petr. 
'Twas the King sent it:  
I mean to yield it back again.  Qu. 
No I will.  
And in exchange take that of equal value:  
But not with me, 'cause it comes from my husband.  
Let's slack no time, this day shall crown our peace.  Exit all but Velasco and Lodovico. Lodov. 
You see my Lord how the world goes.  
What your next course?  Velas. 
Would I could leave myself, I am unfit  
For company of men: Art thou my friend?  Lodov. 
I cannot tell what I am, your patient humour indeed persuades me I am nothing.  
Lady's little puppy dogs shortly will break your shins with milksops, and you dare not cry, come out cur. Faith tell me for our wonted friendship's sake; hath not this Madam sweet heart of yours a share in your Metamorphosis?  Velas. 
You are unkind, as much as in a thought,  
To wrong her virtue. Lodovico, no;  
I have resolved never to fight again.  Lodov. 
'Tis a very safe resolution: but have you resolved never to be beaten again?  Velas. 
That goodly sound of gallant valiant man  
Is but a breath, and dies as soon as uttered.  
I'll seek my fame henceforward in the praise  
Of sufferance and patience, for rash manhood  
Adds only life to cruelty, yet by cruelty  
Takes life away, and leaves upon our souls  
Nothing but guilt, while patience if it be  
Settled, doth even in bondage keep us free.  Lodov. 
Excellent morality; but good my Lord, without more circumstance, the cause, let me know the ground and cause on't.  Velas. 
My will, or if you please my cowardice,  
More ask not, more, I vow, you shall not know.  Enter Mopas. Mop. 
O Fie, fie, I were better be the hangman's deputy, than my Lord Velasco's Gentleman usher; all the streets as I pass hoot at me, and ask me if I be so valiant as my master the coward; they swear their children carry wooden daggers to play a prize with him, and there's no talk but of the arrant coward Velasco.  Velas. 
I care not, let 'em talk.  Mop. 
Care not? By these hilts, I had rather than a hundred ducats, I had but as much spirit: as to have drawn upon a couple of men in Gingerbread, which a huckster's crooked legged whoreson ape held up, and swore they were two taller fellows than you are.  Lodov. 
Your readiest way were to get you into a cloister; for there's no going to Court:  Mop: 
Yes, to have our brains rubbed out with the heel of a brown manchet.  Velas. 
As, you're my friend forbear to come more near me.  Exit Velasco. Lodov. 
Gone so quickly? Mopas I'll find out this mystery, and thou shalt be the instrument.  Mop. 
Shall I? Why agreed, let me alone for an instrument, be it a wind or stringed instrument, I'll sound at one end or other I'll warrant ye.  Exeunt. Enter Alphonso, Pynto, Bufo. Alph. 
Are all things ready as we gave charge?  Pyn. 
Yes all, and the face of the heavens are passing favourable.  Alph. 
Bufo, Be it thy care, the watch word given,  
To seize Petruchi suddenly.  Buf. 
If the Devil be not in him, I'll make him fast enough.  Alph. 
Mean time we'll take our place, they are at hand.  
Some sound our choicest music t'entertain  
This Queen with all the seeming forms of State.  Loud Music. Enter Queen supported by Petruchi, Herophil, Collumello, Almada, and Muretto. All. 
All joy to Aragon's great King.  Alph. 
You strive to act in words (my lords) but we ourselves  
Endeavour rather how to speak in act.  
Now is a time of peace of amity.  
The Queen is present; Lady, seat you here,  
As near, as if we placed you in our heart,  
Where you are deep enthroned.  Qu. 
As you in mine,  
So may I ever live in yours, my Lord.  Alph. 
How so? You are too charitable now,  
That cover but equality in love;  
A cold, a frozen love; for I must think  
The streams of your affections are dried up,  
Or running from their wonted channels, range  
In lawless paths of secrecy and stealth;  
Which makes us love you more.  Qu. 
I would your words  
Dissented not from your resolved thoughts  
For then (if I mistake not) you would feel  
Extremity of passion, which indeed  
Is noble jealousy.  Alph. 
Are you so plain?  
I thank you Madam; lend me your fair hand,  
What's here? O my presages! Whence got you this ring?  Qu. 
This ring, my lord?  Alph. 
This ring, my lord!  
By honour's reverend crest 'tis time to wake.  
Art thou not pale, Petruchi?  Petr. 
Gracious, Sir.  
This is the ring you sent me by Muretto,  
Which 'cause it came from you, the Queen would needs  
Exchange it for another of her own.  Alph. 
True, 'cause it came from me, I take it so,  
And grant ye, know the word. 'Tis won and lost.  Enter a Guard, Bufo with them seize Petruchi; Pynto the Queen. Petr. 
What mean ye, Hellhounds? Slaves, let go my sword.  Buf. 
Keep in your chaps, and leave scolding, my small friend, 'tis now no time to wrangle or to roar.  Qu. 
Nay, nay, with what you please I am content.  Col. 
What means your Highness?  Alm. 
wrong not Majesty  
With such unnoble rigour.  Alph. 
O, my lords,  
The weight of all this shame falls heaviest here  
In my afflicted bosom. Madman like  
I would not credit, what mine ears had heard,  
From time to time of that adulterous woman.  
For this have I lived widowed from her bed,  
Was deaf to proofs, to oaths, and ever thought  
That whoredom could not suit herself so trimly  
On virtues outside. But Petruchi there  
Hath a loud speaking conscience, can proclaim  
Her lust, and my dishonour  Petr. 
Grant me hearing.  Alph. 
Away with him to prison, make him fast  
On pain of all your lives.  Buf. 
Come, Sir, there is no playing fast and loose, which fit a ducat now.  Exit Bufo with Petruchi. Col. 
But what now for the Queen?  Alph. 
As she deserves.  Alm. 
Our law requires a clear and open proof,  
And a judicial trial.  Alph. 
Yes to subjects  
It does, but who among you dares speak justice  
Against your natural Sovereign? Not one.  Pyn. 
Your Majesty hath most wisely considered that point.  Muret. 
I have stood silent all this while, and cannot but with astonishment and unutterable grief bear a share of sadness in these disasters. But, Madam, be not altogether dejected on your part: there is more mercy in this sovereign Prince, then that you should any way distrust.  Qu. 
Nay, even proceed and question me no more.  Alph. 
I will be gentle to you, and the course  
That I will take shall merit your best thanks.  
If in a month a Champion shall appear,  
In single opposition to maintain  
Your honour; I will be the man myself  
In person to avouch this accusation:  
And which of us prevails, shall end this strife.  
But if none come, than you shall lose your head.  
Mean time your usage shall be like a Queen.  Muret. 
Now by the life of honour, 'tis a most Princely trial, and will be worth you eternal memory.  Qu. 
Where must I then be led!  Alph. 
nowhere but here  
In our own palace; and as I am King,  
None worse than I shall be her Guardian.  Alm. 
Madam, Heaven is the Guardian of the just;  
You cannot miss a Champion.  Qu. 
ere I go,  
May I entreat a word?  Alph. 
O yes, you may.  Qu. 
Collumello and Almado, hear me,  
I speak to you, and to your fellow Peers,  
Remember both by oaths and by allegiance  
You are my subjects.  Both. 
Madam, true, we are.  Qu. 
Then as you ever bore respect or truth  
To me as to your Sovereign, I conjure ye  
Never to levy arms against the King,  
Singly or openly, and never else  
To justify my right or wrong in this.  
For if you do, here I proclaim ye all  
Traitors to loyalty and me: for surety,  
I crave your oaths a new.  Both. 
Since you enforce us,  
We swore: and heaven protect you.  Qu. 
Let me be gone.  Alph. 
Well as they please for that: Muretto, follow.  Exit all but Almada and Collummello. Alm. 
Here is fine work, my lord. What's to be done?  Col. 
Stand still while this proud Tyrant cuts our throats.  Alm. 
She's wronged, and this is only but a plot.  
Velasco, now might bind his Country to him;  
But he is grown so cowardly and base,  
That boys and children beat him as they list.  Col. 
I have be thought me, we, with th' other Peers,  
Will set a proclamation our, assuring  
What worthy Knight soever undertakes,  
By such a day, as Champion for the Queen.  
Shall have a hundred thousand ducats paid,  
Withal, what honours else he shall demand.  Alm. 
This must be sped, or 'twill come too late.  Col. 
It shall be sudden: Here our hope must stand;  
Kings command Subjects; Heaven doth Kings command.  Exeunt.  

Act IV.  Enter Salassa and Shaparoon. Salas. 
A coward? 'tis impossible; Velasco a coward? The brave man? The wonder of the time? Sure, Shaparoon, 'tis a mere scandal raised by an enemy.  Shap. 
'Tis most certain, most apparent; Tailors, Prentices, nay, Bakers and Weavers; (things that drink cannot put spirit into, they are such mighty bread-eaters) they as I am an honest woman, fling old shoes at him, and he dares not turn back to give an angry word.  Salas. 
I had been sweetly promoted to such a tame Champion.  Shap. 
Gallants! Out upon 'em, 'tis your tough clown is your only raiser up of man or woman.  Salas. 
A proclamation is sent out for certain?  Shap. 
Most assuredly.  Salas. 
The sum proposed, a hundred thousand ducats.  Shap. 
Present payment, without attendance.  Salas. 
'Tis a glorious reward— speak low, and observe.  Enter Mopas reading a Proclamation. Mop. 
Whosoever, man or woman, can, or will procure any such foresaid defendant, against the said day; let them, him, or she repair to the said lords of the Council, and give in such sufficient assurance for such defence, and they or any of them shall receive a hundred thousand ducats in ready cash; with what honours may give them, him, or her content or satisfaction.  
O that I durst be valiant: A hundred thousand. A hundred thousand; how it rumbles in my chops.  Salas. 
Prithee, a word, my friend.  Mop. 
Sweet Lady, all fair weather upon ye.  
As for you, Madam, time was, I recommend to your ancient remembrance, time is past: with my service forwards and backwards, when 'tis time present, resting yours in the whole Mopas.  Shap. 
Very courtly and pithy.  Salas. 
Pray let me view your paper.  Mop 
'Tis your ladyships.  Shap. 
Some proclamation as I take it.  Mop. 
Madam Reverence, you have taken it in the right cue.  Salas. 
I am o'erjoyed; there's gold for thy news. Friend. I will make thee the happiest and most welcome messenger to thy lord, that ever received thanks from him; without delay, wait on me for instructions.  Mop. 
I am at your ladyship's beck.  Exeunt. Enter Alphonso, and Muretto. Muret. 
True, true, Sir, you are set high upon the stage for action. O the top of my ambition, my heart's Idol!  
What a perplexity are you twined into? And justly; so justly, that it is hard to judge, whether your happiness were greater in the possession of an unmatchable beauty, or your present misery, by enforcing that beauty to expose her honour to so apparent a contempt: This is not the least, that might have been in time prevented.  Alph. 
O I am lost Muretto, my sunk eyes  
Are buried in their hollows: busy thoughts  
Press on like legions of infernal hags  
To menace my destruction: Yet my judgement  
Still prompts my senses, that my Queen is fair.  Muret. 
Fair! Unspeakable workmanship of heaven's bounty. Were all the skilfullest Painters that ever discerned colours, moulded into one, to perfect an Artist. Yet that Artist should sooner want fancy or imagination, for personating a curious medal, then ever to pattern a counterfeit so exquisitely excellent, as is the Queen by nature.  Alph. 
I have surveyed the wonder of her cheeks,  
Compared them with the lilies and the rose  
And by my life, Muretto, Roses are  
Adulterate to her blush, and lilies pale,  
Examined with her white; yet, blear eyed fool,  
I could not see those rarities before me.  Muret. 
Every man is blind (my lord) in his own happiness, there's the curse of our mortality.  
She was the very tale of the world:  
Her perfections busied all tongues.  
She was the only wish of Europe's chiefest Monarchs.  
Whose full fruition you (and 'twas your capital sin) most inhumanly abandoned.  Alph. 
Villain, Petruchi, let me for ever curse him: Had he not been the man; who else had dared to hazard a denial from her scorns?  Muret. 
See now herein you are monstrous discourteous, above excuse; why, Sir, what hath Petruchi done? Which (from any King to a Vassal) all men would not eagerly have pursued. Alas, my lord, his nobleness is eternal, by this means, in attempting and his felicity unmatchable, in enjoying the glory of his time, a beau so conquering, so unparalleled.  Alph. 
She is superlative.  Muret. 
Divine.  Alph. 
Rich, bright.  Muret. 
immortal.  Alph. 
Too too worthy for a man.  Mur. 
The Gods might enjoy her.  Alph. 
Nature ne'er framed so sweet a creature.  Muret. 
She is self Nature's Nature.  Alph. 
Let me for ever curse the frail condition  
Of our deluded faculties: Muretto,  
Yet being all, as she is all, her best  
Is worst considering that she is a wanton  Muret. 
Build you a Palace, arch it with Diamonds, roof it with Carbuncles, pave it with emeralds, daub it with Gold, furnish it with all what cost can lay on, and then seal up the doors, and at best 'tis but a solitary nest for Owls and Daws.  
Beauty was not merely created for wonder, but for use: 'Tis you were in the fault; 'tis you persuaded her, urged, compelled, enforced her: I know it, my truth and plainness trumpets it out to ye: Besides, women (my lord) are all creatures, nor Gods nor Angels.  Alph. 
I must confess 'tis true, yet by my Crown  
She dies, if none defend her, I'm resolved.  Muret. 
'Tis a heroical disposition, and with your honour she cannot, must not live. Here's the point; If she live and you receive her to favour, you will be a noted Cuckold; which is a recognizance dishonourable to all, but to a King fearfully infamous. On the other side, if you prevail, and she be put to death, you do as it were deprive the Firmament of the Sun, and yourself of the treasure of the whole earth.  Alph. 
Right, right, Muretto, there thou strik'st the wound  
Too deeply to be cured, yet I must do't.  
I would fain see her now.  Muret. 
Pray do, Sir; and let Petruchi come face to face to her; observe them both, but be very mild to both: use extremity to neither.  Alph. 
Well counselled; call them hither, but none with them:  
we'll strive with grief; Heaven! I am plunged at full.  
Never henceforward shall I slumber out  
One peaceful hour; my enraged blood  
Turns coward to mine honour. I could wish  
My Queen might live now though I did but look  
And gaze upon her cheeks, her ravishing cheeks.  
But, oh, to be a Cuckold; 's death, she dies.  Enter at one door Petruchi, and the other Muretto and the Queen, they stand at several ends of the Stage. Muret. 
My gracious Lord.  Alph. 
Reach yond fair sight a chair, That man a stool, sit both, we'll have it so.  Mur. 
'Tis Kingly done; in any case (my lord) curb now a while the violence of your passion, and be temperate.  Qu. 
Sir, 'tis my part to kneel, for on your brow  
I read sad sentence of a troubled wrath,  
And that is argument enough to prove my guilt, not being worthy of your favour.  Petr. 
Let me kneel too, though not for pardon, yet  
In duty to this presence: else I stand  
As far from falsehood, as is that from truth  Muret. 
Nay, Madam, this not the promise on your part.  
It is his pleasure you should sit.  Qu. 
His pleasure is my law.  Alph. 
Let him sit too, the man,  Petr. 
Sir, you are obeyed.  Both sit. Alph. 
Between my comforts and my shame I stand  
In equal distance; this way let me turn  
To thee thou woman. Let me dull mine eyes  
With surfeit on thy beauty. What art thou  
Great dazzling splendour? Let me ever look  
And dwell upon this presence.  Muret. 
Now it works.  Alph. 
I am distract. Say? What! Do not, do not—  Muret. 
My lord the King-Way, Sir?— He is in a trance, or else metamorphized to some some pillar of marble: How fixedly a' stands.  
D''ee hear, Sir? What d''ee dream on?  
My lord, this is your Queen speak to her.  Alph. 
May I presume with my irreverent lips  
To touch your sacred hand.  Qu. 
I am too wretched  
To be thought but the subject of your mirth.  Alph. 
Why she can speak, Muretto? O tell me pray,  
And make me ever, ever fortunate;  
Are you a mortal creature? Are ye indeed  
Moulded of flesh and blood like other women?  
Can you be pitiful? Can ye vouchsafe  
To entertain fair parley? Can you love,  
Or grant me leave to love you; can you, say?  Qu. 
You know too well, my lord, instead of granting,  
I owe a duty, and must sue to you,  
If I may not displease.  Alph. 
Now I am great,  
You are my Queen, and I have wronged a merit,  
More than my service in the humblest lowness  
Can ever recompense. I'll rather wish  
To meet whole hosts of dangers, and encounter  
The flabled whips of steel, then ever part  
From those sweet eyes: not time shall sue divorce  
'Twixt me and this great miracle of Nature.  
Muretto?  Muret. 
Sovereign Sir.  Alph. 
I'll turn away,  
And mourn my former errors— Worse than death  
Look where a Basilisk with murdering flames  
Of poison, strikes me Blind. Insatiate tempter,  
Pattern of lust, 'tis thou alone hast sundered  
Our lawful bride bed, planted on my crest  
The horned satyr's badge; hast soiled a beauty  
As glorious, as sits yonder on her front.  
Kill him, Muretto, why should he receive  
The benefit of the law, that used no law  
In my dishonours?  Petr. 
Were you more a King  
Than Royalty can make you, though oppressed  
By your commanding powers, yea, and orbed  
In bonds most falsely, yet, give me a sword  
And strip me to my shirt, I will defend  
Her spotless virtue, and no more esteem,  
In such a noble cause, an host of Kings,  
Than a poor stingless swarm of buzzing flies.  Qu. 
Petruchi, in those words thou dost condemn  
Thy loyalty to me, I shall disclaim  
All good opinion of thy worth or truth,  
If thou persevere to affront my lord.  Petr. 
Then I have done. Here's misery unspeakable;  
Rather to yield me guilty wrongfully,  
Then contradict my wrongs.  Alph. 
High impudence.  
Could she be ten times fairer than she is,  
Yet I would be revenged. You sweet, I would  
Again— Her beams quite blast me.  Muret. 
If you will be an Eaglet of the right eyrie, you must endure the Sun. Can you choose but love her?  Alph. 
No by the Stars. Why would not you be honest; and know how I do door?  Qu. 
May I be bold  
To say I am, and not offend?  Alph. 
Yes, yes,  
Say so for heaven's love, though you be as fowl  
As sin can black your purity. Yet tell me  
That you are white and chaste; That while you live  
The span of your few days, I may rejoice  
In my deluded follies; lest I die  
Through anguish, ere I have revenged my injury,  
And so leave you behind me for another;  
That were intolerable.  Qu. 
Heaven knows, I ne'er abused myself or you.  Petr. 
As much swore I, and truly.  Alph. 
Thou proud Devil.  
Thou hast a lying tongue; They are consented.  
In mischief. Get ye hence seducing horrors.  
I'll stop mine eyes and ears till you are gone.  
As you would be more merciful, away,  
Or as you would find mercy.  Ex. Queen Petruchi contrary ways. Muret. 
Sir, they are gone.  Alph. 
And she too then let me be seen no more.  
I am distracted, both ways I feel my blame;  
To leave her death, to live with her is shame.  Exit. Muret. 
Fare ye well King, this is admirable, I will be chronicled, all my business ripens to my wishes. And if honest intentions thrive so successfully; I will henceforth build upon this assurance, that there can hardly be a greater Hell or Damnation, then in being a Villain upon earth.  Exit. Enter Lodovico, Salassa, Shaparoon. Lodov. 
I am wonder stricken— And were you i'faith the she indeed, that turned my Lords heart so handsomely, so cunningly? O how I reverence wit. Well, lady, you are as pestilent a piece of policy, as ever made an ass of love.  Salas. 
But, Lodovico, I'll salve all again quickly.  Shap. 
Yes indeed forsooth, she has the trick on't.  Lodov. 
You have undertaken with the lords already, you say.  Salas. 
I have, and my life is at stake, but I fear not that.  Lodov. 
Pish, you have no need; one smile, or kind simper from you does all; I warrant ye the sight of so much gold, as you are to receive, hath quickened your love infinitely.  Salas. 
Why, Sir, I was not worthy of my lords love before; I was too poor: but now two hundred thousand ducats, is a dower sit for a lord.  Lodov. 
Marry is't. I applaud your consideration.  
'Twas neatly thought on.  Enter Collumello and Almada. Col. 
Have you prevailed yet, lady, time runs on,  
You must not dally.  Salas. 
Good my lords, fear nothing:  
Were it but two hours to't, I should be ready.  Enter Velasco very sad. Lodov. 
He comes himself, 'tis fit we stood unseen.  
Ply him soundly, lady.  Alm. 
Let us withdraw then.  Exeunt. Velas. 
I cannot be alone, still I am hunted  
With my confounding thoughts: Too late I find,  
How passions at their best are but sly traitors  
To ruin honour. That which we call love,  
Was by the wisest power above forethought  
To check our pride. Thus when men are blown up  
At the highest of conceit, than they fall down  
Even by the peevish follies of their frailties.  Salas. 
The best of my lord Velasco's wishes ever.  
Crown him with all true content.  Velas. 
Cry ye mercy, Lady.  Salas. 
I come to chide you my Lord; can it be possible that ever any man could so sincerely profess such a mightiness of affection, as you have done to me, and forget it all so soon, and so unkindly.  Velas. 
Are you a true very lover, or are you bound  
For penance to walk to some holy shrine  
In visitation? I have seen that face.  Salas. 
Have you so? O you are a hot lover; a woman is in fine case to weep out her eyes for so uncertain a friend, as your protestations urged me to conceive you: But come I know what you'll say aforehand, I know you are angry.  Velas. 
Pray give me leave to be my own tormentor.  Salas. 
Very angry, extremely angry; But as I respect perfection, 'tis more than I deserve.  
Little know you the misery I have endured, and all about a hasty word of nothing, and I'll have it prove nothing ere we part.  Velas. 
Her pride hath made her lunatic, alas!  
She hath quite lost her wits, those are the fruits  
Of scorns and mockeries.  Salas. 
To witness how endearedly I prefer your merits, and love your person; in a word, my lord, I absolve you, and set you free from the injunction I bound you in; as I desire to thrive, I meant all but for a trial in jest.  Velas. 
these are no words of madness; whither tends  
The extremity of your invention, Lady?  
I'll swear no more.  Salas. 
I was too blame, but one fault( methinks) is to be pardoned, when I am yours and you firmly mine: I'll bear with many in you.  Velas. 
So, if you be in earnest; What's the matter?  Salas. 
The sum of all is, that I know it suits not with the bravery of the lord Velasco's spirit, to suffer his Queen and sovereign stand wrongfully accused of dishonour, and die shamefully for a fault never committed.  Velas. 
Why 'tis no fault of mine.  Salas. 
Nor shall it be of mine: Go be a famous subject; be a ransomer of thy Queen from dangers, be registered thy country's patron: Fight in defence of the fairest and innocentest princess alive: I with my heart release you.  
First conquer; that done, enjoy me ever for thy wife: Velasco, I am thine.  Velas. 
Pish, you release me, all their cunning strains  
Of policy that set you now a work,  
To treble ruin me, in life, fame, soul,  
Are foolish and unable to draw down  
A greater wrath upon my head; in troth  
You take a wrong course lady.  Salas. 
Very good, Sir, 'tis prettily put off, and wondrous modestly. I protest, no man hath enjoined me to this task; 'tis only to do service to the State, and honour to you.  Velas. 
No man enjoined you but yourself?  Salas. 
None else, as I ever had truth in me.  Velas. 
Know then from me, you are a wicked woman,  
And avarice, not love to me, hath forced ye  
To practise on my weakness. I could rail,  
Be most uncivil; But take all in short:  
I know you not.  Salas. 
Better and better, the man will triumph anon sure; Prithee, good dissemble no longer; I say you shall fight, I'll have it so: I command you fight, by this kiss you shall.  Velas. 
Forbear, let me in peace bid you forbear;  
I will be henceforth still a stranger to you,  
Ever a stranger, look, look up, up there  
My oath is booked, no humane power can free me.  Salas. 
I grant you none but I.  Velas. 
Be not deceived, I have  
Forgot your scorns; you are lost to me,  
Witness the Genius of this place, howe'er  
You tempt my constancy, I dare not fight.  Salas. 
Not dare to fight, what not for me?  Velas. 
No Lady.  
I durst not, must not, cannot, will not fight.  Salas. 
O me und one.  Velas. 
What ails you?  Salas. 
Now my life  
Hath run it's last for I have pawned it Sir  
To bring you forth as champion for the Queen.  Velas. 
And so should have the promised Gold.  Salas. 
ay, I.  Velas. 
You have revenged my wrongs upon yourself.  
I cannot help you, nay alas you know  
It lay not in me.  Salas. 
O take pity on me,  
Look here, I hold my hands up, bend my knees,  
Heaven can require no more.  Velas. 
Then kneel to heaven  
I am no God, I cannot do you good.  Salas. 
Shall not my tears prevail? hard-hearted Man.  
Dissembler, loves dishonour, bloody butcher  
Of a poor Lady, be assured my Ghost  
Shall haunt thy soul when I am dead.  Velas. 
Your curse  
Is fall'n upon your own head, herein show  
A noble piety, to bear your death  
With resolution, and for final answer  
Lady I will not fight to gain the world.  Exit. Salas. 
Gone! I have found at length my just reward,  
And henceforth must prepare to welcome Death.  Velasco 
I begin to love thee now.  
Now I perceive thou art a noble man,  
Composed of Goodness, what a fool was I?  
It grieves me more to lose him then to die.  Enter Almada, Columello, Lodovico, Shaproon. Coll. 
Lady we have heard all that now hath passed,  
You have deceived yourself and us, the time  
We should have spent in seeking other means.  
Is lost, of which you are the cause.  Alm. 
And for it  
The senate's strict decree craves execution,  
What can you say?  Salas. 
My Lords I can no more but yield me to the law.  Shap. 
O that ever you were born, you have made a sweet hand on't, have you not.  Lodov. 
Here is the right recompense of a vain confidence, Mistress: But I will not torture you being so near your end, lady say your prayers and die in Charity, that's all the pity I can take on ye  Exit Lodovico. Coll. 
Ten times the gold you should have had, now Lady cannot release you.  Alm. 
You alone are she  
Ruins your country. Here's the price of sin,  
Ill thrift, all loose in seeking all to win.  Exit. all but shaproon. Shap. 
Nay even go thy ways, 'tis an old proverb that lechery and covetousness go together, and 'tis a true one too, But I'll shift for one.  
If some proper squire or lustily yeoman have a mind to any thing I have about me, 'a shall soon know what to trust too for I see the times are very troublesome.  Enter Pynto. Pyn. 
Now is the prosperous season when the whole round of the planets are coupling together. Let birds and beasts observe Valentine's day, I am a man and all times are with me in season, this same Court ease hath set my blood on tiptoe, I am Madder than a march hare.  Shap. 
Blessing on your fair face, your handsome hand, your clean foot sir, are you a courtier sir?  Pyn. 
Good stars direct me, sweet woman, I am a Courtier, if you have any suit, what is't, what is't? be short.  Shap. 
Lord what a Courteous proper man 'a is, trust me, 'a hath a most eloquent heard.— Suit Sir, Yes Sir, I am a country gentlewoman by father and Mother's side, one that comes to see fashions and learn news. And How I pray sir (if I may be so bold to ask) stand things at Court Sir nowadays?  Pyn. 
A very modest necessary and discreet Question.  
Indeed Mistress country-gentlewoman, things at Court stand as they were over wont, some stiff and some slack, every thing according to the employment it hath.  Shap. 
marry, the more pity sir, that they have not all good doing a like, methinks, they should be all and at all times ready here.  Pyn. 
You speak by a figure, by your leave, in that.  
But because you are a stranger, I will a little more amply inform you.  
here at our Courts of Arragon, Scholars for the most part are the veriest fools for that they are always, beggarly and proud. And foolish citizens the wisest scholars for that they never run at charges for greater learning to cast up their reckonings, then their Horn-book.  
Here every old lady is cheaper than a proctor, and will as finely convey an open act, without any danger of a consistory. Love and money sweeps all before them, be they cut or long-tail. Do not I deserve a kiss for this discovery Mistress.  Shap. 
A kiss, O my dear chastity, yes indeed forsooth, and I pray please yourself.  Pyn. 
Good wench by venus, but are you any thing rich?  Shap. 
Rich enough to serve my turn.  Pyn. 
I see you are reasonable fair.  Shap. 
I ever thought myself so.  Pyn. 
Will you survey my lodgings?  Shap. 
At your pleasure sir being under your guard as I am.  Enter Mopas and Bufo. Buf. 
Sirrah Mopas, If my mistress say but the word, thou shalt see what an exploit, I will do.  Mop. 
You'll undertake it you say, though your throat be cut in your own defence, 'tis but manslaughter you can never be hanged for it.  Buf. 
Nay I am resolute in that point, here's my hand, let him shrink, that list, I'll not flinch a hair's breadth Mopas.  Mop. 
What, old huddle and twang so close at it, and the dog days so near, Hark ye, your lady is going the way of all flesh. And so is that scholar with you methinks, though not in the same cue, is 'a not?  Shap. 
'A has promised to tell me my fortune at his chamber, and do me some other good for my Lady's safety.  Pyn. 
I have spoken, the planets shall be ruled by me, Captain, you know they shall.  Buf. 
Let the planets hang themselves in the elements, what care I, I have other matters to trouble my brains.  Mop. 
Signior Pynto take her to you, so true a metalled blade as ever was turned into a dudgeon, hark in your ear.  Enter Lodovico and Herophill. Lodov. 
I know not how to trust you, you are all so fickle so unconstant.  Herop. 
If I fail  
Let me be marked a Strumpet.  Lodov. 
I apprehend you use him kindly still,  
See where 'a is, Captain you are well met,  
where's one whose heart you have.  Herop. 
He knows he has.  Buf. 
Why by my truth I thank you forsooth, 'tis more of your courtesy then my deserving; but I shall study to deserve it.  Herop. 
I hope so, and doubt it not.  Lodov. 
Madam x Shaproon.  Shap. 
You are welcome sir.  Pyn. 
x, Nay then I smell she is a gentlewoman indeed.  Mop. 
Yes, and as anciently descended as Flesh and blood can derive her.  Pyn. 
I am a made man and I will have her.  Herop. 
You'll walk with me sir?  Buf. 
Even through fire and water. sweet Mistress.  Lodov. 
Let's every one to what concerns us most,  
For now's the time all must be saved or lost,  Exeunt all.  

Act V.  A scaffold Enter Velasco and Lodovico. Velas. 
This is not kindly done, nor like a friend.  Lodov. 
Keep your chamber then, what should owls and bats do abroad by day light? why, you are become so notoriously ridiculous, that a Craven is reputed of nobler spirit amongst birds, than Velasco among men.  Velas. 
Why Lodovico dost thou tempt my wrongs?  
O friend, 'tis not an honour or a fame  
Can be a gain to me, though I should dare  
To entertain this Combat, say my fate  
Did crown mine arm with conquest of the King,  
Put case the cause add glory to the justice  
Of my prevailing sword? what can I win?  
Saving a pair of lives I lose a soul,  
My rich soul Lodovico, Does not yet  
The heart even shrill within thee? All thy spirits  
Melt into Passions, All thy manhood stagger  
Like mine? Nay canst thou choose but now confess  
That this word Coward is a name of Dignity?  Lodov. 
Faint hearts and strong tongues are the tokens of many a tall prattling gossip. Yet the truth is you have half convinced me, But to what end will you be a looker on the Tragedy of this she Beast? it will but breed your greater vexation.  Velas. 
I hope not so, I look for Comfort in't.  Lodov. 
Mass: that may be too, It cannot but make your melancholy a little merry, to see the woodcock's neck caught in a worse noose, than she had set for you.  Velas. 
That's but a poor revenge, I'd rather weep  
On her behalf, but that I hope her courage  
Will triumph over Death.  Lodov. 
My Lord they come.  Velas. 
Let me stand back unseen, Good Angels guard her.  Velasco Muffles himself. Enter executioner before Salassa, her Hair loose, after her, Almada, Collumello and officers. Alm. 
'tis a sad welcome.  
To bid you welcome to the stroke of Death.  
Yet you are come too't Lady.  Coll. 
And a cause  
Throughout the land will be your general knell,  
For having been the wilful overthrow,  
First of your Countries' Champion, next your Queen,  
Your Lawful Sovereign, who this very day.  
Must act a part which you must act before, but with less guilt.  Alm. 
Use no long speeches lady,  
The danger of the time, calls us away,  
We cannot listen to your farewells now.  Sal. 
I have few words to say, my heart is lodged  
In you same upper Parliament, yet now  
If ere I part, and shall be seen no more,  
Some man of mercy could but truly speak  
One word of pardon from the Lord Velasco,  
My peace were made in earth, and I should fly  
With wings of speed to Heaven.  Alm. 
Pish here's not any.  Salas. 
Not any? on then, why should I prolong  
A minute more of life, that live so late,  
Where most I strive for love to purchase hate,  
Bear witness Lords I wish not to call back  
My younger days in promise that I would  
Redeem my fault and do Velasco right,  
But could I but reverse the doom of time,  
I would with humblest suit make prayers to heaven  
For his long flourishing welfare.  Col. 
Dispatch, dispatch;  
You should have thought on this before, pray now  
For your own health, for you have need to pray.  Lodov. 
Madam Salassa, I am bold to take leave of ye before your long journey: All the comfort that I can give you is, that the weather is like to hold very fair, you need not take much care for either hood or cloak for the matter.  Salas. 
Are you come? Worthy Sir, than I may hope  
Your noble friend hath sent one gentle sigh  
To grace my funeral: For virtue's sake  
Give me a life in death; tell me, O tell me,  
If he but seal my pardon, all is well.  Lodov. 
Say ye so? Why then in a word, go merrily up the stairs; my lord Velasco desires Heaven may as heartily forgive him, as he does you.  Salas. 
Enough, I thank his bounty, on I go  goes up the Scaffold. 
To smile on horror: so, so, I'm up.  
Great in my lowness, and to witness further  
My humbleness, here let me kneel and breathe  
My penitence: O women in my fall,  
Remember that your beauties, youth and pride  
Are but gay tempters, 'less you wisely shun  
The errors of your frailties: let me ever  
Be an example to all fickle dames,  
That folly is no shrine for virtuous names.  
Heaven pardon all my vanities, and free  
The lord Velasco, whate'er come of me.  
Bless, bless, the lord Velasco.— Strike.  As he is about to strike, Velasco steps out. Velas. 
Villain, hold, hold! Or thou diest, Slave.  Alm. 
What means that countermand?  Lodov. 
hay, do! More news yet, you will not be valiant when 'tis too late, I trust?  Velas. 
Woman, come down: Who lends me now a sword?  Lodov. 
Marry, that do I, Sir, I am your first man; Here, here, here, take heed you do not hurt your fingers; 'twill cut plaguely: and what will you do with it?  Velas. 
Base woman, take thy life, thy cursed life,  
I set thee free, and for it pawn a soul:  
But that I know heaven hath more store of mercy,  
Than thou and all thy sex of sin and falsehood.  
My Lords, I now stand Champion for the Queen:  
Doth that discharge her?  Col. 
Bravest man, it doth:  
Lady, you're safe; now, Officers away.  
This is a blessed hour!  Ex. Officers. Alm. 
You shall for ever  
Bind us your servants.  Lodov. 
Aha: Why then, however things happen, let them fall, as they fall. God o' mercy, my lord, at last.  Col. 
Hark how the people ring a peal of joy.  Shout within. 
For this good news. My lord, time steals away;  
We may not linger now.  Salas. 
You give me life;  
Take it not, Sir, away again. I see  
Upon your troubled eyes such discontent  
As frights my trembling heart; Dear Sir—  Velas. 
The Gold  
You hazarded your life for, is your own,  
You may receive it at your pleasure.  Alm. 
Yes,  
'Tis ready for you, lady.  Salas. 
Gold? Let gold,  
And all the treasures of the earth besides  
Perish like trash; I value nothing, Sir,  
But your assured love.  Velas. 
My love! Vain woman,  
Henceforth thus turn I from thee, never look  
For Apish dotage, for a smile, a how d''ee,  
A fare ye well, a thought from me: let Snakes  
Live in my bosom, and with murderous stings  
Infect the vital warmth, that lends them life,  
If ever I remember thee or thine.  
If I prevail, my services shall crave  
But one reward, which shall be, if that ever  
Thou come but in my sight, the State will please  
To banish thee the land; or else I vow,  
myself to leave it.  Salas. 
My ill purchased life!  Velas. 
Ill purchased life, indeed, whose ransom craves  
A sadder price, than price of bloodshed saves.  
Go, learn bad woman, what it is, how foul,  
By gaining of a life, to lose a soul.  
The price of one soul doth exceed as far  
A life here, as the Sun in light a Star.  
Here though we live some threescore years, or more,  
Yet we must die at last, and quit the score  
We owe to nature. But the soul once dying,  
Dies ever, ever; no repurifying;  
No earnest sighs or groans; no intercession;  
No tears; no penance; no too late confession  
Can move the ear of justice, if it doom  
A soul past cure to an infernal tomb.  
Make use of this Salassa.  Lodov. 
Think upon that now, and take heed, you look  
My lord no more in the face.  Salas. 
Goodness protect him! now my life so late  
I strove to save, which being saved I hate.  Exeunt all. Enter Alphonso armed all save the head, leading the Queen, a Herald going before, Muretto, Herophil, a Guard. Alph. 
Are you resolved to die?  Qu. 
When life is irksome  
Death is a happiness.  Alph. 
Yes, if the cause  
Make it not infamous: But when a beauty  
So most incomparable as yours, is blemished  
With the dishonourable stamp of whoredom:  
When your black tainted name, which should have been  
(Had you preserved it nobly) your best Chronicle,  
Wherein you might have lived, when this is stained,  
And justly too; then death doth but heap  
Affliction on the dying. Yet you see  
With what a sympathy of equal grief  
I mourn your ruin.  Qu. 
Would you could as clearly  
Perceive mine innocence, as I can clearly  
Protest it.  Alph. 
Fie to justify a sin  
Is worse than to commit it, now you're faulty.  Muret. 
What a royal pair of excellent creatures are here both upon the castaway. It were a saint like mercy in you (my Lord) to remit the memory of a past error. And in you Madam (if you be guilty of the supposed crime) to submit yourself to the King. I dare promise, his love to you is so unfeigned, that it will relent in your humility. Pray do, good Madam do.  Qu. 
But how if I be free?  Muret. 
By any means, for your honour's cause do not yield then one jot. Let not the faint fear of Death deject you before the royalty of an erected heart. D''ee hear this my Lord, 'tis a doubtful case, almost impossible to be decided, Look upon her well, as I hope to prosper, she hath a most virtuous, a most innocent countenance. Never heed it. I know my Lord your jealousy and your affections wrestle together within you for them astery. Mark her beauty throughly. Now by all the power of Love, 'tis pity She should not be as fair within as without.  Alph. 
Could that be proved, I'd give my kingdom straight  
And live a slave to her, and her perfections.  Enter Almada, Columello, Attendants. 
Lords welcome, see thus arm in arm we pace  
To the wide theater of blood and shame  
My Queen and I, my Queen? had she been still  
As she was, mine, we might have lived too haply,  
For either's comfort. here on this sweet model,  
This plot of wonder, this fair face, stands fixed  
My whole felicity on earth. In witness  
Whereof, behold (my Lords) those manly tears  
Which her unkindness and my cruel fate  
Force from their quiet springs, They speak aloud  
To all this open air, their public eyes,  
That whither I kill or die in this attempt:  
I shall in both be vanquished.  Alm. 
'Tis strange my Lord  
Your love should seem so mighty in your hatred.  Alph. 
Muretto go, and guard Petruchy safe.  Exit Muretto. 
We must be stout now, and give over whining.  
He shall confess strange things (my Lords) I warrant ye,  
Comes not a champion yet?  Qu. 
None dares I hope.  Coll. 
The Queen you know, hath bound us all by Oath,  
We must not undertake to combat you  
Although the cause should prove apparent for her.  Alph. 
Must not? why then you're cowards all, all base,  
And fall off from your duties, but you know  
Her follies are notorious, none dares stand  
To justify a sin, they see so plainly.  Coll. 
You are too hard a censurer.  Alph. 
Give me your hand, farewell, thus from my joys  
I part, I ever part, Yet good my Lords,  
Place her on yonder throne, where she may sit  
Just in mine eye, that so if strength should fail,  
I might fetch double strength from her sweet beauty.  
I'll hear no answers.  Qu. 
Heaven be always guard  
To Noble actions  place the Queen. Coll. 
here's a medley love  
That kills in Courtesy.  Alph. 
Herald sound a warning to all defendants— What comes no one forth: How like you this my Lords? Sirrah sound again.  trumpet sounds. Second sound. A Trumpet within Enter herald sounding, after him Velasco armed all save the head, Lodovico and attendants. Velasco? 
ha? art thou the man? although  
Thy cowardice hath published thee so base,  
As that it is an injury to honour  
To fight with one that hath been baffled scorned,  
Yet I will bid thee welcome.  Velas. 
Nobly spoken.  
Past times can tell you sir, I was no coward,  
And now the justice of a gallant quarrel  
Shall new revive my dulness, Yonder sits  
A Queen as free from stain, of your disgrace,  
As you are foul in urging it.  Alph. 
Thou talk'st courageously, I love thee for it,  
And, if thou canst make good what thou avouchest,  
I'll kneel to thee, as to another nature  Velas. 
We come not here to chide, My sword shall thunder  
The right for which I strike.  Qu. 
Traitor to loyalty,  
Rash and unknown fool, what desperate lunacy  
Hath led thee on to draw thy treacherous sword  
Against thy King, upon a ground so giddy  
That thou art but a stranger in the cause  
Thou wouldst defend, By all my royal blood  
If thou prevail'st, thy head shall answer it.  Coll. 
Madam you wrong his truth, and your own fame.  Alm. 
You violate the liberty of arms.  Alph. 
Pish, listen not to her, 'tis I'm your man.  Qu. 
Why foolish Lords, unsensible and false,  
Can any drop of blood be drawn from him  
My Lord, your King, which is not drawn from me?  
Velasco by the duty that thou ow'st me  
I charge thee to lay by thy arms.  Velas. 
I must not,  
Unless this man whom you call king, confess  
That he hath wronged your honour.  Qu. 
Wilt thou fight then  
When I command the contrary?  Velas. 
I will.  Qu. 
Velasco. hear me once more, thou were wont  
To be as pitiful as thou wert valiant,  
I will entreat thee gentle kind Velasco,  
A weeping Queen sues to thee, Do not fight,  
Velasco, every blow thou givest the King,  
Wounds me, didst ever love? Velasco hear me.  Alph. 
She must not be endured.  Velas. 
Nor can she win me,  
Blush you my Lord at this.  Qu. 
O let me die  
Rather than see my Lord affronted thus  Queen falls into a sound. Velas. 
Hold up the Queen, she swoons.  Alm. 
Madam Dear Madam.  Coll. 
Can you see her and not be touched my Lord?  
Was ever woman false that loved so truly  Alph. 
'Tis all dissimulation.  Velas. 
You dishonour her,  
To prove it I'll fight both quarrels now.  Enter a herald sounding a trumpet. after him Petruchi armed head and all. Lodov. 
Heydo? here comes more work for mettle men.  Alm. 
Another who should he be?  Alph. 
Speak what art thou?  Petr. 
One that am summoned from the power above  
To guard the innocence of that fair Queen  
Not more against the man that would accuse her  
Then all the world besides.  
thouart welcome too.  Velas. 
You come too late friend, I am he alone  
Stand ready to defend that gracious beauty.  
You may return.  Petr. 
there's not a man alive:  
Hath interest in this quarrel but myself,  
I out of mine own knowledge can avouch.  
Her accusation to be merely false,  
As hell itself.  Qu. 
What mortal man is he,  
So wilful in his confidence, can swear  
More than he knows.  Petr. 
I swear but what I know.  Alph. 
Hast thou a name?  Petr. 
Yes, help my beaver down,  
D''ee know me now?  Lodovico discovers him Alph. 
Petruchi! death of manhood,  
I am plainly bought & sold, why where's Muretto?  Enter Muretto with a sword drawn. Muret. 
Here as ready to stand in defence of that Miracle of chaste women, as any man in this presence.  Alph. 
Are all conspired against me? what thou too?  
Now by my father's ashes, by my life  
Thou art a villain, a gross rancorous villain.  
Didst not thou only first enforce my thoughts to jealousy?  Muret. 
'tis true I did.  Alph. 
Nay more,  
Didst not thou feed those thoughts with fresh supplies  
named every circumstance?  Muret. 
All this I grant.  Alph. 
Dost grant it, Dog, slave, Hellhound?  Muret. 
Will you hear me?  Coll. 
Hear him good my Lord, let us persuade ye,  Alph. 
What canst thou say Impostor? speak and choke.  Muret. 
I have not deserved this my Lord, and you shall find it, 'tis true, I must confess, that I was the only instrument to incense you to this distemperature and I am proud to say it, and say it again before this noble presence, that I was myself the only man.  Alph. 
Insufferable Devil!  Alm. 
Pray my Lord.  Muret. 
Wonder not my Lords, but lend me your attentions, I saw with what violence he pursued his resolutions not more in detestation of the Queen in particular, then of all her sex in general. That I may not weary your patience: I bent all my Studies to devise, which way I might do service to my country, by reclaiming the distraction of his discontents. And having felt his disposition in every pulse, I found him most addicted to this pestilence of jealousy with a strong persuasion of which; I from time to time, ever fed him by degrees, till I brought the Queen and the noble Petruchi into the dangers they yet stand in. But with all (and herein I appeal to your majesty's own approbation) I seasoned my words with such an intermixing the praises of the Queen's beauty, that from jealousy. I drew the King into a serious examination of her perfections.  Alph. 
Thus far I must acknowledge, he speaks truth.  Muret. 
At length having found him indeed surely affected, I perceived, that nothing but the supposed blemish of her dishonour, could work a second divorce between them.  Alph. 
True, truly fates own truth.  Muret. 
Now my Lords, to clear that imputation, I knew how easy it would be, by the apparent certainty itself, In all which, if I have erred, it is the error of a loyal service. Only I must ever acknowledge how justly I have deserved a punishment, in drawing so virtuous a princess's honour into public question; and humbly refer myself to her gracious clemency, and your noble constructions.  Alph. 
But can, can this be so?  Muret. 
Let me ever else, be the subject of your rage, in the sufferance of any torture.  Alph. 
And is she chaste Petruchi?  Petr. 
Chaste by virtue,  
As is the new born virgin, for aught I know.  Muret. 
I ever whispered so much in your ears my Lord, and told you, that it was impossible such singular endowments by nature, should yield to the corruption so much, as of an unworthy thought.  
Did I not tell you so from time to time,  Alph. 
Lay by your arms, my lords, and join with me.  
Let's kneel to this (what shall I call her?) Woman?  
No, she's an Angel. Glory of Creation, All kneel.  
Can you forget my wickedness? Your Peers,  
Your Senators, your bravest men, make suit on my behalf. Why speak ye not, my lords?  
I am I know too vile to be remitted, But she is merciful.  All. 
Great Sovereign Lady—  Qu. 
Be not so low, my lord, in your own thoughts:  
You are, as you were, Sovereign of my heart;  
And I must kneel to you.  Alph. 
But will you love me?  Qu. 
'Tis my part to ask that: will you love me?  Alph. 
Ever, yours ever; let this kiss new marry us. What say?  Qu. 
It does; and heaven itself can tell  
I never did, nor will wrong our first loves.  Alph. 
Speak it no more. Let's rise, now I am King  
Of two rich Kingdoms, as the world affords:  
The Kingdom of thy beauty, and this land.  
But what rests for Muretto?  Qu. 
I account my worthiest thanks his debt.  Alm. 
And he deserves all honour, all respect.  Col. 
Thus my embraces  
Can witness how I truly am his friend.  Velas. 
And I whilst I have life.  Lodov. 
Nay when I am dead I, will appear again, clap thee on the shoulder and cry, God o' mercy old Suresby.  Petr. 
I must ask pardon of him, still I thought  
His plot had aimed all at his own behoof,  
But I am sorry for that misconceit.  Muret. 
My lords, What I have been heretofore, I cannot altogether excuse; but I am sure my desires were always honest, however my low fortune kept me down: But now I find 'tis your honest man is your honest man still, howe'er the world go.  Alph. 
Muretto, Whilst I live thou shalt be near me,  
As thou deservest: And noble Gentlemen  
I am in all your debts: henceforth believe me,  
I'll strive to be a servant to the State.  All. 
Long live happy both.  Alph. 
But where are now my brace of new-made Courtiers,  
My Scholar and my Captain?  Lodov. 
I cry guilty, there is a large story depends upon their exploits, my Lord; for both they thinking in such perilous times to be shifting every man for one, have took a passing provident course to live without help hereafter. The man in the moon, Signior Pynto, for the raising of his fortune a Planet higher, is by this time married to a kind of loose-bodied widow, called by Surname a Bawd; one that if he follow wholesome instructions, will maintain him, there's no question on't, the captain for his part, is somewhat more delicately resolved for as adventurous (though not as frail) a piece of service. For he in hope to marry this lady, attending on the Queen, granted Petruchi his liberty, and by this time hath received a sufficient quietus est.  Alph. 
Are these my trusty servants? What a blindness was I led into!  Lodov. 
If your Highnesses both will in these days of mirth crown the Comedy; first let me from the Queen's royal gift be bold to receive Herophil for my wife; She and I are resolved of the business already.  Qu. 
With all my heart, I think her well bestowed,  
If she herself consents.  Her. 
My duty, Madam,  
Shall ever speak my thankfulness, in this  
I reckon all my services rewarded.  Velas. 
Much comfort to you friend.  All. 
All joy and peace.  Lodov. 
My duty to my Sovereigns, to all therest at once, my heartiest heartiest thanks. Now, lady, you are mine; why so, here's short work to begin with. If in the end we make long work, and beget a race of madcaps, we shall but do as our fathers and mothers did, and they must be cared for.  Enter Pynto, Bufo, Mopas with a tire upon his head, and Shaparoon: Pyn. 
Follow me not bawd; my lord the King;  
My love, justice, justice.  Buf. 
Justice to me, I was like to have been married to these black muschatoes instead of that lady.  Pyn. 
I to this ugly bawd.  Both. 
Justice.  Alph. 
Hence you ridiculous fools, I banish you  
For ever from my presence: Sirrah, to thee  
I give the charge, that they be forth with stripped,  
And put into such rags they came to Court in;  
And so turned off.  Pyn. 
Dost hear me King?  Buf. 
King hear me, I'm the wiser man.  Alph. 
No more I say.  Mop. 
Come away, come away for shame, you see what 'tis to be given to the flesh: the itch of lechery must be cured with the whip of correction. Away, away.  Exeunt Bufo, Pynto, Mopas and Shaparoon. Alph. 
What else remains  
But to conclude this day in Hymen's Feasts?  Enter Salassa her hair loose, a white rod in her hand, two or three with bags of money. 
To whom; for what;  
Your meaning, name, and errand?  Salas. 
At those feet  
Lay down those sums of gold, the price of guilt,  
Of shame, of horror.  Qu. 
What new riddle's this?  Muretto whispers the King, Collumello the Queen. Muret. 
My Gracious lord.  Col. 
I shall inform your Highness.  Velas. 
Woman of impudence.  Salas. 
Your looks proclaim  
My sentence banishment, or if you think  
The word of banishment too hard to utter.  
But turn away, my lord, and without accent  
I'll understand my doom, I'll take my leave,  
And like a penitentiary walk  
Many miles hence to a religious shrine  
Of some chaste sainted Nun, and wash my fin off  
In tears of penance, to my last of breath.  Velas. 
You come to new torment me.  Salas. 
I am gone, my lord; I go for ever.  Going out. Lodov. 
Faith be merciful, the woman will prove a wife worth the having, I'll Pass my word.  Alph. 
e'en so; stay, lady, I command you, stay.  
Velasco here's occasion proffered now  
For me to purchase some deserving favour  
From woman; honour me in my first suit;  
Remit and love that lady.  Velas. 
Good my lord.  Alph. 
Nay, nay, I must not be denied, my Queen  
Shall join with me to mediate for her.  Qu. 
Yes, I dare undertake, she that presents  
Her penance in such sorrow, hearty sorrow,  
Will know how to redeem the time with duty,  
With love, obedience.  Lodov. 
D''ee hear, my lord; all the ladies in Arragon, and my wife among the rest, will bait ye like so many wild cats, if you should triumph over a poor yielding creature, that does in a manner lie down to ye of her own accord. Come, I know you love her with all the very veins of your heart.  Muret. 
There's more hope of one woman reclaimed (my lord) then of many conceited of their own innocence, which indeed they never have but in conceit.  Velas. 
To strive against the ordinance of fate,  
I find is all in vain: Lady, your hand,  
I must confess I love you, and I hope  
Our faults shall be redeemed in being henceforth  
True votaries to virtue, and the faith  
Our mutual vows shall to each other owe.  
Say, are you mine, resolved?  Lodov. 
Why that's well said.  Salas. 
Yours, as you please to have me:  Velas. 
Here then ends  
All memory of any former strife:  
He hath enough who hath a virtuous wife.  All. 
Long joy to both.  Alph. 
The money we return  
Where it is due; and for Velasco's merits  
Will double it. Thus after storms a calm  
Is ever welcomest: Now we have passed  
The worst, and all I hope is well at last  Exeunt. 
FINIS.