HELL REFORMED OR A GLASS FOR FAVOURITES. Their Falls and complaints Also the Complaints of Princes against their Favourites.  
With the dangerous mischiefs of State Politics, Flatterers, Suborners, Secret Accusers, False witnesses, etc.  
Also the Reasons of a Devil, why he had rather continue in hell; then return and live again on earth.  
With the acclamations of a Testator, for making his will before he died: And his advice to others therein.  
Also the decree of Lucifer, for Reformation. With many other notable passages, worthy observation.  
Discovered in a vision, By D: F: Q: V: A Spanish Knight, of the Order of Saint james, and Lord of Ivan-Abad.  
Published by E: M: Gent.  
LONDON, Printed by E: Griffin for Simon Burton, and are to be sold at his Shop next the Mitre Tavern within Algate. 1641.   

TO THE MOST NOBLE, HENRY JERMYN Esquire, Master of the Horse, to the QVEENES' Most Excellent Majesty.  
SIR,  
I Hold it no Sacrilege, after the Example of our Forefathers of the Old Testament, (whom the Law enjoined to offer their Firstborn unto the LORD.) to present you, as my Rightful Lord with the Premises and First-Fruits of the spare Hours, I lately spent in the Translation of the ensuing Discourse: For, I know none, after the King, and the Right Honourable Your Father, unto whom I own this due, but Yourself: Since, His Majesty hath set so great a Value on Your Merit, Virtue, and Birth, as to design You to the Government of that Isle, where I took my first Breath, and where the Right Honourable Your Father, makes the Inhabitants to live in a Golden Age: whereby they are bound to lift up their joint Votes unto Heaven, for His Majesty's Long and Flourishing Reign in Health and Happiness; who doth afford them, so Good & Wise Governors, and those continued in a most Noble Line; so as I acknowledge myself divers ways obliged to dedicate unto You this small Labour: First, as to my Rightful Lord, being confident, that in imitation of the Right Honourable Your Father, You will cause the said Jnhabitants, to enjoy the like Peace and Plenty, under Your Government: next, as Holding my small Patrimony and Fee, immediately from You, whilst You represent the King's Majesty there: whereunto may also be added, the infinite Obligations I own You in particular; whereby I reap this further advantage, that slanderers cannot justly say, that I have any further end herein, but only to render You most humble thanks, for the benefits have already received, from Your Generosity. Besides, I am confident, that Your Name appearing in the Frontispiece of this Book, will serve to Protect it, from the malice of those, who would disallow the Author for being a Spaniard, which I assure myself, will be no less acceptable in this Court in the English habit (being countenanced by You, who seem to be the Moecenae of Strangers) than he hath been in France, clad according to the fashion there; where he hath passed the Press, without other, then Universal Patronage: For, seeing his chief aim, is, to suppress Vice, and to open a path to Virtue, (though in a Satirical way,) his design and mine cannot but take effect. Since, detesting Vice, You possess Virtue itself, and are no way like unto those Courtiers, of whom he speaks in this Treatise: otherwise, that Great Queen (whose Life may much rather be Admired, then Imitated) had not elected You, for the discharge of one of the Most Honourable Places in Her Service. Finally, as You are borne to be Happy on Earth, that You may likewise be so in Heaven, shall be the constant Prayer of him who is,  
SIR, Yours most obliged, most obedient, and most honouring Servant, EDWARD MESSERVY.   

A PREFACE FROM THE TRANSLATOR TO THE JUDICIOUS READER.  
GEntle Reader, It follows of necessity, that you will have something to say against me, because I put to light this seventh Vision, making no mention of the six first, that aught to precede, to the end, that the order and intention of that Noble Knight, DonFrancisco de Quevedo, Author of the Visions, should not be perverted, who is held amongst men of judgement, one of the ripest wits of this age, his writings being filled with rich conceptions, and a thousand good conceits, (whereof you shall see a delectable pattern in this Vision) which jeaves much satisfaction and content to the judicious Reader; besides his intention, which is to be esteemed, since it tends to a good and holy reformation of life, representing Vice unto us, to the end we should abhor it, also he doth not speak to the virtuous, but to the wicked who are past correction, & doubtless, there will be none but the last that will disprove it, and by that means they will make it appear, that they have a mind I should be their Harbinger to appoint their lodgings in the Empire of Pluto, destined to the vicious and obstinate. I have also exactly translated in our Tongue, the said six first Visions; and have clad this Spanish Knight, after this Country fashion, at the request of my friends, and for the Public good, (which may be moved to a good & holy reformation;) rather then for my own satisfaction; And for some reasons best known to myself, I have made a demur of presenting them unto you until you have seen this, hoping that you will make the esteem of it, that the reputation of this Author merits, who hath been admired in all Tongues and Countries, where he hath been received with great applause, & also amongst Nations more gross, and every way inferior unto us. I also desire you (most dear Reader) to pass by the faults of this Book, in case there be any, and to correct them yourself; Assuring you if there be any, 'tis against my will, and shall be a mere defect in the impression. Also, know that I am not in the humour to in sert an Errata, because I hold it not decent; and am sure that those who shall read my Book, if they are men of understanding finding of them will have charity enough to correct them; but if they are others, care not. Farewell.   

THE TABLE OF HELL REFORM.  

A  
ABdolominus. p. 19  


Accusation Against the Merchant's evil Angel. p. 52  
Against the thieves ●vill Angel. p. 86    
Secret Accusers. p. 2, 6, 52  
Achillas. p. 13  
Adonis. p. 63  
Advocats. p. 3  
Alexander's contestation against Clitus his Favourite. p. 16  
Aminta. p. 20  
Generals of Armies. p. 16  
Arms. p. 37  
Augustus. p. 41   

B  
Belizarus justinian's Favourite. p. 34  
Brutus. p. 9  
Busy-body. p. 4   

C  
1 Caesar. p. 9  
Calisthenes. p. 20  
Cassius. p. 9  
Clitus. p. 16  
Complaint 

Of Caesar against Brutus and Cassius. p. 9  
Of Belizarius Justinians Favourite. p. 34  
Of Plantianus against Severus. p. 32  
of Sejanus against Tiberius. p. 28  
of Seneca against Nero. p. 21  
of Solon against Tyrants. p. 39  
of Suetonius. p. 51    
The evil Angel of Consequence. p. 95  
The evil Angel of Cuckolds. p. 97   

D  
Darius. p. 19  
Decree of Lucifer. p. 103  
Decrepitude and its misery. p. 66  
The devil's justification. p. 88  
Dionysius his reply. p. 41  
Domitian's revenge upon Suetonius p. 47  
Doüegna. p. 2, 6, 76  
Invective against a Doüegna. p. 76   

E  
Effects of Prosperity. p. 104  
Emperors. p. 8, 16  
Envious. p. 59   

F  
False witness. p. 7  
Fathers without Children. p. 54  
Favourites. p. 17, 21, 26  
Flatterers. p. 3, 110  
Fosterers of envy. p. 22   

G  
Generals of Armies. p. 16   

H  
Habakkuk Prophet. p. 35.  
Half Hermit or Hypocrite. p. 4  
Hypocrites. p. 5, 78   

I  
Idleness the mother of Vice. p. 107  
Infancy and its misery. p. 6  
Intermeddlers of others affairs. p. 111  
Invective against a Doüegna. p. 76  
julian's reply. p. 41  
julius Caesar. p. 9  
jupiter. p. 19  
justification of a Senator against Caesar. p. 13  
The devil's justification. p. 88  
Belizarius justinian's Favourite. p. 34   

L  
Lawyer's. p. 3  
Love in old people troublesome p. 66  
Lucanus p. 24, 46  
Lucifer. p. 5  
The Luxurious Evil Angel. p. 99  
Touching the Luxurious. p. 108   

M  
Magistrates. p. 16  
A Merchant. p. 53  
The Merchants Evil Angel accused p. 52  
Touching certain Merchants. p. 109  
Miseries. 

of the Infancy. p. 61  
of Life in general. p. 67  
of Manly age. p. 64  
of Man being decrepit. p. 66  
of Old age. p. 65  
of Youth. p. 63    
Money is one of the greatest Devils. p. 107   

N  
Nero. p. 41  
Nero, & Senecas' complaint against him. p. 21  
Nero's reply against Seneca. p. 25  
Numa. p. 41  
The Nuns evil Angel. p. 100   

O  
Obstinate pernicious. p. 81  
Against old people being in love. p. 66  
Old women painted. p. 79   

P  
Parmenio. p. 20  
Patres patrae. p. 11  
Pernicious obstinate. p. 81  
Philotas p. 20  
Physicians. p. 3  
Photinus. p. 45  
Piso. p. 24  
Plantianus against Severus. p. 32  
Pompey. p. 46  
Poor. p. 106  
Presumptuous. p. 59  
Princes Favourites. p. 33  
Profit is a Devil. p. 107  
Prophet Habakkuk. p. 35  
Prosperity and its effects. p. 104  
Ptolomeus. p. 46   

R  
Rebels against their Prince. p. 9  
A Repentant because he had made his Will. p. 69  
Dionysius Reply. p. 41  
julian's Reply. ibid.  
Reporters of others secrets. p. 110  
Revengeful. p. 59  
Domitian's revenge upon Suetonius. p. 47   

S.  
Sardanapalus. p. 41  
Sciences. p. 37  
Secret Accusers. p. 2, 6  
Sejanus against Tiberius. p. 28  
Senators. p. 11  
Seneca's complaint against Nero. p. 21  
Plantianus against Severus. p. 32  
Solon against Tyrants. p. 39  
Sponge and its Emblem. p. 21  
Suborner and his evil Angel. p. 2, 94  
Suetonius his complaint. p. 51   

T  
Tarquin. p. 41  
A Testator. p. 69  
The thieves evil Angel. p. 86  
Sejanus against Tiberius. p. 28  
Tobacco and its evil Angel. p. 92  
Trajan. p. 41  
Tyrants. p. 3, 19, 20, 39  
Solon against Tyrants. p. 39   

V  
Usurers. p. 5   

W  
Wills, and how they ought to be made. p. 72   

Y  
Youth and its miseries. p. 63    


HELL REFORM.  
THough Hell be the eternal Mansion of despair and confusion, nevertheless, there happened lately such a horrible noise, and so extraordinary and dreadful a disorder there, that the most Ancient inhabitants of that place, acknowledging that they had never seen the like, thought that their Commonwealth was going to be destroyed and overthrown up-side down. They knew not one another: the Devils believed they were the Damned, and the Damned, the Devils: some usurped the torments belonging to others, and did run here and there, pell mel, as if they had been frantic: to be short, 'twas a general revolt, all was in division and quarrel. It was a good while before it could be guest who had stirred this tempest: but at last 'twas found out, 
Secret Accuser. Suborner.  that a Secret Accuser, a Suborner, and a 
* It signifies an aged widow which serves in great houses, as those who are called Governesses.  Doüegna had caused it, who had found the invention to break lose from their fetters. Consider a little I pray, Reader, of what kind of spirit could those three be, since they were able to augment Confusion and Trouble in Hell.  
Lucifer roaring like one Possessed, cried out, that Chains, Fetters, and Manacles should be brought, and did run every where, to quarter again every one in his Den, when he dashed against the Secret Accuser, and having both stayed a moment, to face one another, the Secret Accuser took the word: My Prince, said he, I give you intelligence that there are Slothful Devils in your Empire, who remain with their arms and legs a cross, as being lazy and sluggish, unwilling to do any thing: and also, that many of those, which you have sent in the world, do not come bacl, to give an account of their Commissions, although the time of them be expired. And the Doüegna, which went kindling discord, from ear to ear, coming by chance to pass, that way, stopped: Look to yourself, said she, to Lucifer, there's a great conspiracy to dispossess you of your Diabolical Sceptre: Here are two Tyrants who come, 
Tyrants.  three Flatterers, many Physicians, 
Flatterers. Physicians. Lawyers. Advocats.  and a great number of men of learning, as Lawyers and Advocates: and further I give you notice, said she, in his ear, that amongst all those, there is a certain man, who is a halfe-Hermit, 
Halfe-Hermit, or Hypocrite.  which doth affirm you shall not want work.  
At this word of Halfe-Hermit, Lucifer lost his colour, and remaining  as a statue, testified a great fear he had to lose his Sceptre: and having stood a while without speech, staring as if he had been mad: A Halfe-Hermit, do you say; Physicians, Advocats, and Tyrants? there's a Confection, so poisonous and venomous, that only an ounce thereof, would be able to burst the Belly, and cast out all the tripes of Hell. And as he was going to make a review, in the avenewes and frontiers of his Kingdom, he saw the 
* Or Busybody.  Suborner coming, who seemed to be full of employment. I needed but this encounter, said he, to portend misfortune. Well, what's the matter? And then the Suborner, with a thousand inventions, devices, false tales, vain trifles, toys and fables, told him there were many who plotted to fly from Hell, and others also who would introduce Usurers and Hypocrites, 
Usurers. Hypocrites.  by means of which, the World took a familiar access with the Devils: and told him besides many other tales, so full of deceits, and with such Mountebank-like flatteries, that he had been dizied with them, if he would have held him chat. Lucifer seeing the strange tumult in his Dominion, 
Lucifer.  and having intelligence of the danger which threatened him, followed his design of making a general Review, and that with his Guard, and ordinary Train.  
Then, he gins the Visit of his lurking and secret Holds, Dens and Dungeons of his Prisoners and Jailers. 
Secret Accuser.  The Secret Accuser, kindler of dissensions, went fore-most venting and blowing a certain kind of air which did put the brands together and inflame them only, without producing light; The Doüegna followed next, 
Doüegna.  sowing tares of discord every where. The Cunning Suborner came after, 
Suborner.  learing with the corner of his eye on every side, not turning his head, and passed not before any of the Ghosts, but he made a cringe, or some other gesture feigning some good will. To the one he made a courtesy, he kissed the others hands: unto this, he said, I am your servant; unto that, make use of me. But at every word of his Compliments, the poor Ghosts cried out, Alas! but much more outrageously then at those flashes of flames which tormented them. Oh traitor! said one: Oh the fire is much more pleasant! said the other. there's the redoubling of our pain! said this. there's the accumulating of our torments! said that.  
Amongst a great Rascally Company, and in an eminent place, there was a Notorious False witness, 
False witness  who as most expert in that profession, made a lecture of lying, to that Worshipful company, which was about him: he made them swear, that they had seen those things, which were unknown unto them. And when that Doctor perceaved the Suborner: What? said he, much frighted, is that Devil in this Country: But how? I made choice to come to Hell, rather than to be in any place where I might see him: assuredly, If I had thought that he had been to come hither, it had been enough, not only to have procured my salvation, but also to have gone some whither where else I could never have entered.  
Thereupon, we heard a great noise of Voices, Arms, Blows, and Cries intermixed with Reproaches and Complaints. They took hold one of another, and did strike and fulminate each other, with their own persons, but with such cruelty, that 'tis impossible to represent so furious a battle. Amongst all those, was one who seemed to be an Emperor, for he had a Crown of Laurel on his Head, and was environed with Counsellors, who with their tongues whetted with the Text of Laws and statutes, endeavoured to defend themselves, from the enraged fury and choler, whereof this Emperor tormented them. Lucifer drew near him, and with a thunderlike voice, which caused all Hell to tremble: Who art thou (said he) Ghost, who art here so lofty and stately? I am (answered he) Great julius Cesar who in the general sedition of your Realm, 
Complaint and revenge of Caesar against Brutus and Cassius.  came upon Brutus and Cassius, to take Revenge of the bloody outrage, which they did, when they took away my life, under pretext of the liberty of the Country, though it was but to quench their particular envy and covetousness. 
Nota. Rebels against their Prince.  Those infamous Villains hated not the Empire; but only the Emperor: they murdered me, because I had established the Monarchy: but yet they abolished it not, contrariwise, they, sooner and with more ease, made sure the preservation thereof: they did more harm taking away my life, than I did when I took away from the Senators, the Government of the Commonwealth, since, I died Emperor, and my Homicides procured to themselves, the Title of Traitors during their life: I was adored of the people, and they punished for killing of me. Cursed bloodshedders! said that Great Ghost of julius Caesar, turning towards them, was the Government of the Commonwealth better in the Hands of Senators, who could not keep it, then under the conduct of a Warrior who purchassed it by his merit? He that is experienced in cavilling, and learned in forging of a False accusation, is he worthier of a Crown, than a great Captain, who fills his Country with Glory, and gives Terror to his enemies? He that knows the laws, is he fit for an Empire, than he who maintains them? No, No, 'tis unto this, to establish them, and to the others to study'em. Poor Roman Commonwealth! calls thou Liberty; the obeying to the discord of Many: and Bondage; to respect the Power and Might only of One? Many men full of Covetousness and Ambition ought they to be called The Fathers of their Country, 
Patres Patriae.  and the generosity of One held for Tyranny? Oh how much more glorious had it been for the Romans to have maintained a Son, who made Rome Mistress of the World, than Fathers who by an infinite number of Civil wars, made her the Stepmother of her own Children. Ye barbarous and cruel, consider a little what was the Government of the Senators; since, the people having tasted of the Monarchy; had rather be commanded by Nero, Tiberius, Caligula, and Heliogabalus, then by Laws and Senators.  
Then Brutus, with a trembling voice, and a face covered with shame began to say, crying out: Oh Senators! 
Senators.  do you not understand Caesar? do you add a new crime, to that which you have heretofore done? and having been the Authors of the Parricide, do you suffer him who believed you, to be thus accused? Speak, answer, Counsellors: Caesar speaks to you as well as to me: you were so cunning in your persuasions, that Cassius and I were the traitorous executioners, taking no regard to your unsatiable Ambition, and not observing that your Gravity, your beards and long gowns will always assume command, draw obedience unto them, and put all the danger upon the Prince. In effect, you do so exalt your Offices, and authorize your vanity so powerfully, that it is more dangerous for the Monarch not to obey you, then to the Subject to disobey the Monarch. To what tended the execution of your perfidiousness and treason? Answer to Caesar; for as for our parts, we are chastised by our infamy and confusion.  
At these words, one of the Senators who was all covered with burning coals, risen up, 
justification of a Senator against Caesar.  & with a severe brow, grim behaviour, and feeble voice: Prince, said he to Caesar, whereat dost thou complain, if for thy sake Ptolomey, who was King, killed Great Pompey so cowardly, of whom he held the Kingdom which he possessed; what outrage and what trespass did the Connsellors commit to kill thee, to recover those Kingdoms that thou hadst ravished unto us? Is't an action of impiety to acquit thee towards Pompey? Let the Devils be the judges. Achilles, 
Achilles.  who was one of that Valiant Warriors murderers, and who brought to pass the execution thereof, by Ptolemy's command, was but a Robber who lived but with his trespasses, but thou wert fare more infamous than he: seeing Pompey's Head, thou weptst, but thy tears were more traitorous, than the weapon which murdered him: 'twas a compassion accompanied with cruelty; thy pity was revenge, and thou wert more arrogant looking on him being dead, than thou wert in the conflicts which thou hadst against him during his life.  
How can it be possible, that hypocritical eyes could find place in the first Head of the world? It cannot be denied, but that taking away thy life we gave it again to our Commonwealth. It was neither we, nor the people who called Nero to the Empire, but he was borne out of thy blood: thy Head being cut off, was the Hydra of the Empire; whence twelve more came forth.  
They had begun their first skirmish again thereupon, if Lucifer had not with an absolute power, commanded unto Caesar, to reenter in the pain and punishments of his presumption, which caused him to despise the advices, that were given him touching his disaster: and to Brutus & Cassius, to be for ever the scandal and reproach of Politic Souls. The Senators were sent with Minos and Rhadamantus, to be the Devil's Associates.  
That done, there was a great rumour of Voices heard which were something remote, as if many being in choler had disputed together: some moderate replies were also heard, mixed with reproaches and outrages, there were some so transported with fury, that words and blows went together, and the more the Visit came near, the more the noise redoubled: which was the cause, that they advanced with speed, but notwithstanding all the diligence which was made before the Visit came to them, they were found already engaged in a bloody Combat. The Persons were of different qualities, but nevertheless of the best rank, for there were Emperors, 
Emperors. Magistrate's Generals of Armies.  Magistrates, and Generals of Armies: The Imperious voice of the Prince of Darkness, causes a truce of their debates, and all turned towards him, testifying they suffered a cruel torture in the stopping of the execution of their hatred and revenge. The first who took the word, was a man remarkable by many great wounds, who raising his voice: I am, 
Clitus.  said he, Clitus: Hold thy peace, said another, who was beside him, dares thou speak afore me? Prince of the Devils, said he, hearken unto Alexander son of jupiter, 
Alexander's contestation against Clitus his Favourite.  Lord of the Worlds, the terror of Nations, the Most Great Emperor. He was going to make an Iliad of Titles, Qualities, and Lordships after the Spanish fashion, if the Attorney General had not impoled Him silence: Speak, said He, to Clitus, and he, who had a great desire thereof, said thus:  
Lucifer, I was the first of this Emperor's Favourites, who was Lord of all the known Land, who bore the title of King of Kings, who said himself to be the Son of jupiter Ammon, and nevertheless though he commanded to so many Worlds, his natural passions (which may serve for an example to take away humane presumption) had a great Dominion over him: Cruelty made him exceeding rash, and uncapable to receive the wholesome Counsels of his trusty servants. I was during my life, of the most sincere amongst those; but it was not so much my diligent obedience that procured me the name of Favourite, 
Favourite.  as the opinion he had that I should increase the number of his Flatterers: but I had too much integrity in my soul, to be partaker of his follies, the sorrow I had of his defects, emboldened me to try if I could repress them gently. One day seeing him speak with contempt, of the glorious exploits of Philip his Father, and black the splendour of the generosity of a Prince, which had given him the being, and who had taken such a care for his education: I shown him his ingratitude, I told him of the abuse of that imaginary Divinity whereof his Flatterers cogged with him, and speaking with all manner of freedom unto him, I represented unto him that he should not thus whither & snatch his Father's Palms from him. But see a little to what degree of felony, this Prince was transported, since at the rehearsal of his Father's praises, and his magnanimous acts, he did rise with choler, and slew me with his own hand. After that, show me where was his Divinity. When he gave the Kingdom of Sidonia to Abdolominus who then was a cleanser of jakes, 'twas not, as it was believed to honour the Virtue of that Captain, but shamefully to take down the Pride, and affront the Great ones of Persia, after the death of Darius. And having found him here, I have asked him, in what place jupiter his Father had forsaken him, and what offence he had committed towards him to cast him into Hell, and if he was not disabused from his Flatterers, who adored and offered unto him incense, making him believe, that he was Son to the Greatest of the Gods, and that in a direct line, he was the only heir of Thunder, and of the Celestial Throne of jupiter: 'twas therefore that we were fallen together by the ears, when you arrived. But leaving aside these invectives judge I pray you, if it was not the action of a Tyrant, to make it a trespass worthy of death, the recital of his Father's virtues & magnanimities? What barbarous cruelty used he not towards Parmenio, 
Parmenio. Philotas. Calisthenes.  Philotas, His Son, and Calisthenes who was also one of his Favourites, yea towards Aminta his Cousin, 
Aminta.  his Mother in Law, and his Brother? Oh Lucifer! you see that there's no necessity, to be Good, or Wicked, to make a criminal, but only to be Favourite to a Tyrant, and that it is as in the course of life, wherein every one dies because he is Mortal, and not by reason of the sickness, for it serves, but as a pretext to Death.  
Then now thou knowest, said Satan, 
Tyrants.  that Tyrants know how to give the foil, to cause those whom they please to stumble and fall down: for they hate all, the virtuous; because, he is not wicked; and the wicked, for very spite that he is not worse. What Favourites have they made, which they have not thrown down headlong? Dost not thou remember the emblem of the Sponge? Now learn that all Favourites are the Prince's Sponges, 
Favourites.  they let them drink in and suck all their full, and afterwards they crush them, and get out the substance for their profit.  
As he ended this last word, there was a Lamentable outcry of many people heard, and at the same time, a Grave Old man, of as pale a colour as if he had had no blood in his veins, who drew near unto Lucifer: It seems, said he, that the Similitude of the Sponge whereof you speak, is made for me, by reason of the great treasures which I have possessed. I am that renowned Seneca, 
A Complaint of Seneca, against Nero  a Spaniard by Nation, Nero's Tutor and Favourite. He exercised the excess of his liberalities upon me: he gave me without ask; I was never Covetous, but only Obedient. 'Tis ordinarily a Prince's delight, to show himself liberal towards a Favourite, and to heap honours and goods upon him, and whosoever would refuse, and not accept them, until he had deserved them, he should offend his Prince, and it would seem that the Subject, would rather have his Modesty and Temperance to be admired, than the Magnanimity of the Master who gives. Insomuch that the most devout homage, that a Vassal can do to his Lord, 'tis to contribute, as much as in him lies, to the Glory, and splendour of his Virtue. Nero gave me all what could be given by such a Prince as he was; But notwithstanding all the Modesty and discreet carriage that I could use in the enjoying of such Gratifications: Yet the Fosterers of Envy did murmur, and invented false Accusations and detractions against me, publishing that I persuaded the contempt of riches to others, to the end, that the hunger of my unsatiable Covetousness, should have fewer Competitors: And seeing that by little and little the Vigour of my good reputation and prosperity did diminish, I took a resolution to put my Soul out of trouble, and to be no more the Object of the hatred of so many. I went to Nero, and restored unto him, all what he had given me, with all the duty and respect that I could testify. I had such a passion to love and serve him, that the threats of his (to be redoubted) humour whereat some would terrify me; never took away my boldness to exhort him to virtue; nor his unruly actions, hindered me not from making those remonstrances unto him to which my loyalty obliged me: And when he caused murders and homicides to be committed, 'twas then, that with more vehemency, I represented unto him the wounds which he made to his Conscience. He caused his Mother to be slain: he fired Rome, and reduced it to ashes, he did depopulate the whole Empire of Honest People, 
Piso.  whence Piso's conspiracy followed: which was very well propounded, but very ill executed: for, having been discovered, those who were to execute it, were put to Death. Those are accidents of the Divine Providence, thus to preserve the life of a Prince, from those abominable accidents, to the end they may know themselves and amend their lives: But what? Nero could prevent this conspiracy, and nevertheless he amended not his defects, nor left his vices: at the same time, he took away Lucanus his life, 
Lucanus.  because he was a better Poet than he. And if he gave me the choice, of what kind of Death I would die, 'twas not by any feeling of Pity, but rather of Cruelty: he intended to give me many Deaths in lieu of one, for the pain of death was reiterated during the time of the choice which I was to make; besides, he propounded to himself, that suffering effectually that whereof I was to make choice, so also I should suffer all the rest in the Terror and Fear which made me to refuse them: I put myself in a Bath, and causing my Veins to be cut, I made expedition of my own dispatches myself, to come hither with speed; where, to augment my misfortunes, I have found this infamous Prince, exercising yet his Cruelties, and teaching unto the Devils new torments against the Poor Ghosts.  
Then Nero advances, 
Nero's replies against Seneca.  and with a stern Visage and shrill Voice, It is needful, said he, that the Favourite and Tutor, should have more learning than the Prince, but also it is requisite, that he should govern himself with respect; for to become presumptuous, because he hath some advantage of doctrine above him, it is a Crime; and therefore the Subject that will make it appear, that he is abler than his Sovereign, and that he knows more than he, aught to be punished as being Presumptuous and Insolent. Seneca, whilst thou didst teach me, I preferred thee to all those which were about me, and the esteem that I made of thy Wisdom was one of the principal praises of my Reign: But assoon as thou wouldst have all men to know, that thou wert more expert and better able than I, (a thing which thou shouldst have dissembled more judicially,) thou madest me a General scandal throughout all the World: and from that time, my hatred and Indignation began to kindle against thee: That was so displeasing unto me, that I had rather a thousand times, suffer the torments which are here: then to see a Favourite beside me who should make Glory of my shame, and get Honour, out of my Contempt. I call to witness all these Princes who are here: Speak; Kings, draw near: Say, have you suffered your Favourites to become so presumptuous, as to make it appear that the capacity of their understanding did exceed yours, without correcting them for their Temerity? No, no, answered they all with one voice, it shall never be endured, as long as the World will be a World; our Successors have promised unto us, to remedy that disorder. It is true, that as long as the Favourite is wise and skilful, and can persuade unto the people, that the Prince doth possess the Talon of governing discreetly, and that he works by himself, he ought to be Maintained, Honoured and Esteemed by his Master: But at that instant, that Vanity, will lead him, to cause the contrary to be known; Farewell all Privacy, he deserves to be degraded.  
That Decree hath no relation to me, 
Complaint of Sejanus against Tiberius.  than said Sejanus, though I had a better Wit than Tiberius, for I carried myself with so much Industry, that all was published as done and ordained by his own Judgement. Therefore he acknowledged to be so much obliged, to my good services, that he made me Peer and Copartner of his Empire, and erected Statues, to which he granted Sacred Privileges. My Name was the acclamation of the Roman People, my Felicity, the Mirth and Joy of the Empire, and all Nations made common Vows and Prayers for the preservation of my Health. But when I believed, that I was the Favourite who had the greatest share in his Lords affections, Tiberius caused me to be taken, and to be torn in pieces, and forsook me to the Rage and Fury of the mutineered people, who held it for an Honour, to carry away a piece of my flesh, upon the point of their Javelins, they dragged me along the streets: Yet their incom parable Cruelty went beyond the Bounds of my Sepulchre: it went to my Children, and caused them to die ignominiously; and a Daughter that I had which by reason of the privilege of Virginity could not be put to death, by justice, was barbarously condemned first to be ravished by the Hangman, (Oh prodigious!) and then to be beheaded, as it was executed. It is true that my ruin began the very day that I would prevent the Destinies, oppose myself to the Power of Fortune, and despise Heavenly Providence. Then, more Sacrilegious than Wise, I endeavoured to fortify myself, against the craft of men, causing some to be put to death, and others banished, Insomuch that I caused Heaven to declare itself my Enemy. Not contented with that, I took access with the Wicked, I made use of the Physician for Poisons, of the Bloody for Revenge, of False Witnesses, of  and Corrupted Magistrates. But nevertheless, I might say, that those outrages, were not committed according to my own will, but by virtue of the necessity wherein I was raised, and as I propounded unto myself, that in my fall and undoing, I should be forsaken of the Virtuous, and and also of the Wicked, I made use of these as of people fit for my ends, and I fled from the righteous as from my accusers: Nevertheless even such as I was, if Tiberius hath exercised tyranny, it hath not been through my counsels, I never induced him to it, much less (approving of him, as a Flatterer) I have left the effects much more cruel, than the condemned have done by the torments of imprisonment and tortures: and if I am accused to have persuaded him to cruelty, to alienate from him the affections of the people, and raise my fortune, who shall be named for the author, of that which he used towards me? O Lucifer, you must know that Tyrants do discharge themselves of the faults which they commit, upon those which they have employed in such actions, for they do expose and sacrifice us very freely to death, for to satisfy the people's outrage when they murmur against them, and by that means we suffer the pain for their faults. The Histories which recite our disgraces, make always use of these words: there's the ordinary end of those who approach too near the Prince's favours: insomuch that in every Chronicle, our misfortune serves as an advertisement for an ill passage. The exalting of a Favourite testifies also the greatness of the Prince which doth it; to maintain him near him, and in his Honours, It is so much the more to make his good Judgement to appear in the Choice which he hath made: contrariwise when he destroys him, 'tis to show the lightness and inconstancy of his Spirit, and to side with his Adversaries.  
At the same time Plantianus, 
A Complaint of Plantianus Severus his Favourite.  Severus his Favourite approached, whom he had caused to be thrown out of a Window to be a spectacle unto the people. During my life, said he, I might well have been compared to a Fiery Racket, which in an instant was elevated in the air, fair, flaming and cracking: Whiles I held the first rank, I spark led like a Star in the eyes of the World, but that lasted very little, I fell presently to the ground, and was converted into smoke and ashes.  
After this many other Favourites appeared in a Troop, 
Prince's Favourites.  namely Faustus Favourite unto Pyrrhus' King of the Epirotes; Pyrenus and Cleander, Commodus his Favourites; Cincinatus, Favourite unto Britilus, Emperor; Rusfus, unto Domitian, and Ampronisius, that of Adrian, who were all attentive, to the trembling and complaining voice of Belizarius, juslinians Favourite, who being blind as he was, had already strooke twice with his staff, and shaked his head, showing that he demanded audience: and when silence was made, he said thus:  
It is much more shame for you, 
Complaint of Bellizarius justinian's Favourite.  ye Princes; to be the executioners of those whom you have promoted, then unto us Favourites to undergo the cruel effects of your inconstancy. For my part, I served a Wise Prince, and Just, who taught the means to administer Justice: and though he was bound to my Valour, for the Greatness of his Empire, his Victories and Triumphs; he caused my eyes to be plucked out, and left me forsaken in an extreme misery, even to be reduced to beg my bread in the corner of the Streets. And this name of Belizarius, which was wont to be proffered for the animating of the Squadrons, and to fright the Enemies; this name, I say, whereof the sound and power was worth an Army, hath seen himself encamped upon the pavement, and from door to door begging alms, not knowing of whom.  
The Favour of Princes is like Quicksilver, it cannot stay, 'tis in a perpetual motion, it flies away betwixt your fingers: if you will force it, 'twill convert into vapour: when one would make it more sublime, it becomes more venomous, if you handle it, it penetrates to the very bones: he that communicates often with it, and who works to get it, remains all his life trembling until death.  
As he ended these words, a great cry was heard of frightful Groans, and of Helas, pronounced by all those who had any feeling of the Quicksilver of Favour, which began all to tremble as Aspen leaves, and at that instant a Spirit spoke these words of the Prophet Habakkuk, 
Prophet Habakkuk.  speaking to those Princes who are negligent of their duty.  
Wherefore lookest thou upon them that deal treacherously, 
Cap. 1. v. 13.  and holdest thy tongue when the wicked devoureth the man that is more righteous than h●?  
And makest men as the fishes of the Sea, 
verse 14.  as the creeping things that have no ruler over them.  
Therefore the Law is slacked, 
verse 4.  and judgement doth never go forth: for the wicked doth compass about the righteous: therefore wrong judgement proceedeth.  
For the stone shall cry out of the wall, 
Cap. 2. v. 11.  and the beam out of the timber shall answer it.  
Whereby is meant, that unsensible things shall reproach you; I have made you a recital of the Prophet's threats, (said the Spirit continuing) to make you consider that God makes not so much esteem of you Great ones, that he puts always the chastisements of your errors in the hands of the other Princes and Potentates of the earth, or to prodigious successes, or to forces exceeding yours; but to the most abject, vile, base; and to be despised. Admire a little, of what Ministers God makes use of, to revenge your outrages, vanities, and pride, he causes unsensible stones to speak, walls and rotten wood from betwixt the joints of the edifices. When God will, wormeaten wood, the least infects, little worms, flies, and louse, are the Officers of his dreadful justice.  
He had hardly ended his last word, when they were feign to run, to know whence proceeded another great noise of Cries and Confused Voices, which besotted all the Auditors: and as they came near, they saw that 'twas the Arms and Sciences who fought together, There were persons of eminent quality, and nevertheless of different conditions and divers ages. Some struck with Swords, others defended themselves with great Books, whereof they made use, sometimes of Offensive, and sometimes of Defensive Arms: that's to say; putting of them before their breast in stead of Targets or Plastrons, then striking with them furious blows upon their adversaries ears. Soft, Soft (said one of Lucifer's followers) bear respect to the Prince of Darkness. Presently the blows were suspended on either side: and then one of the Combatants began to say: If you knew the reason we have to avenge ourselves, it may be you should be of our side. At that instant appeared Domitianus, Commodus, Caracalla, Phalaris, Heliogabalus, Alcetus, Andronicus, Busiris, and many other Great Personages. Lucifer seeing such a Majestical Company, disposed himself to give them all manner of satisfaction which they could desire, when a Grave Old man advanced himself, followed by many others, who having been misused by those Princes and having had the worst, had all their faces bloody.  
I am Solon, said that Old man, 
Solon's Complaint against Tyrants.  and those are the seven Wise men of Greece, so much renowned throughout all the World. That same which the Tyrant Nicocreon beats, (as you see,) in a mortar, is the Philosopher Anaxarchus: That little crooked is that excellent wit which the world knew heretofore under the name of Aristotle: that flat nose, is the wise Socrates; that other Old man is the Divine Plato: and those others hid in a corner, are many other men of our profession, who have made the same works, of which these Princes being offended, take a cruel vengeance on us. And to inform you of the business, you must know (Prince Lucifer) that we are the composers of Politic Books, and Laws of the good Government of States and Empires: whereby we have taught unto Princes the Method which they ought to observe to rule their people and to be beloved of them: how justice ought to be held in reverence and administered, Generous Warriors recompensed, use to be made of Learned Men, to banish Flatterers, to have Magistrates Prudent and full of Integrity; correct and reward according to the occurences, that they were Ioves Stewards on earth, and that they represented The Gods. there's the only object of the outrages, which they do unto us, though we name them not, and had no design to offend them, but rather to be as a Guide unto them in the way of Virtue and of Heaven. Oh wicked Princes! said he turning towards them: those glorious Kings and Emperors, upon whom we took the model, to form our Laws and Instructions, have now a fare better habitation than you. 
Numa. Tarquin. Augustus. Sardinapapulus. Trajan. Nero. Dionysius his Reply.  Numa is a sparkling star, and Tarquin a smoking Firebrand: & Augustus hath left a fare more Glorious memory, than Sardanapalus; and Traian, then Nero.  
Then Dionysius the Tyrant, accompanied with many of the same profession, began to cry out: thou liest, infamous Philosopher, 'tis quite contrary that you Lawgivers have done us any service, you are rather the cause of our reproaches, of our dishonour, and of the cruel deaths whereby we have been cut off: having lied in your writings, spoken of things whereof you had no knowledge, and given precepts, of those of which you were ignorant, we have been persecuted during our life, and defamed after death.  
How, my Prince (said julian the Apostata, 
julian's Reply.  looking upon Satan) 'tis very likely, that these Schoolmasters of base extraction, who are despised and mocked of the world, by reason of their sluttish and slovenly kind of living, , and grim looks, who make a merit of a beggarly life, and a constancy of the scorn of others: who have neither Theory nor Practice of those Sciences they treat of, not knowing what Dominion and Reign is; yet busy themselves to prescribe Precepts unto Kings, and show them the ways how to govern their Kingdoms according to their fancy and fantastical opinions, which they believe to be the Props of Crowns.  
To your judgement, could all Hell give a greater torment and a more odious mortification unto worldly greatness, then to oblige it, to suffer, that one of those base fellows, scratching his head, and with a face covered with a bushy Beard, his eyes sunk as fare as the backside of his scull, with an unpleasant kind of speech, shall say, that the Prince which takes care only for himself, is a Tyrant, and that he who only thinks to be the preservation of his people, is a true King? Oh! ignorant, how rash and unadvised art thou? draw near, a King who cares only for the good of others, who shall have care of his? What? thou wouldst have us to destroy ourselves, and that we should do upon our own persons, all the harm which we could receive of our enemies? Rascals, writ night and day as much as you please, but do not go about to speak undesired, of a profession which you understand not. How could we be Sovereign Lords, unless we were Masters and Possessors of the goods of others, & be absolute if we submitted unto your Advices and Counsels, ye who are but our Vassals? Can we have a supreme power, and cannot revenge our offences, satisfy unto our Covetousness, nor content our depraved spirits? and having a mind to fulfil our passions, would it be fit to make choice of Virtuous people to repress the Wicked? No, No, we have more need of those who are agreeing unto our Wills, then of the others: and to speak the truth; you are very much void of common sense, to think that we can recompense, the Merit and Virtue of honest people, since they are our own Accusers. 'Tis much more profitable to draw unto us the Deceavers, Perfidious and Wicked, by means of Dignities, and Consulats; for our Sanctuary is in their Outrages, our quality in their imitation; and our excuses, in their extravagances. And why then, old Bocus Barbus, do you not write the truth? Learn, learn that Butchers fatten their sheep for nought else but to kill them, and that the Surgeon does not stop the veins, when he would let blood.  
Remain then henceforth in a perpetual silence, and let this Orator speak, 
Photinus.  who teacheth us a manner of Government much more favourable than yours: Come forth Photinus, and cause yourself to be understood. Thereupon appeared a certain Impudent fellow, of an ill favoured countenance, who seemed only to be fit, to persuade wickedness, who opening his foul mouth, and with a fearful howling, vomited forth the venom of these Words.   

Wicked persuasions from one of Ptolemy his Courtiers, 
Ptolomaeus.  to induce him to cause Pompey to be slain: 
Pompey.  taken out of Lucan, 
Lucan.  in the 8 Book of his Pharsalia.  
Many Great Princes as thou art, Ptolomey, have often repent, to have been too religious in the observation of justice and equity The afflicted, which they have assisted, and the scruple which they have made to violate faith, have often hindered them from extending the limit of their Empire, and increasing the splendour of their Crowns. No, No, Ptolemy, you must resolve. 'Tis at this time, that you must yield unto the Destiny, and stick to the will of the Gods, forsaking boldly, those whom they please to persecute, and dispose thyself to take party with those whom they favour. there's as much distance betwixt Heaven and Earth, and difference betwixt fire and water, as between the useful and the equitable. Insomuch, that when a Prince will keep himself within the bounds of honesty and civility, he conspires against himself; he destroys the greatness of his Empire, and disperses his Armies: Contrariwise, the liberty of doing ill, and the licence of trespasses fortifies, strengthens and maintains the most odious Reign: And though there were impiety in this action, who can bring thee in question? An other, who should be below thee, might very well fear some punishment: but thou art above the laws, and thou canst do all things absolutely. Then defer no longer; or else, He that will exercise piety, let him leave the Court.  
As these detestable words were ending, Domitian appeared, 
Drmitian his revenge upon Suetonius.  who came in choler, and dragging after him poor Suetonius Tranquillus, saying: Amongst all these Historiographers and Chroniclers, there are none worse, nor more dangerous, than those who after the death of Emperor's dishonour their reputation, according to the fancy of their wits. These cursed Writers, cannot let Princes be in quiet during their life, nor yet after their death, for they cause them to revive in their Histories to trouble them afresh, as this rash fellow doth towards me, who speaks of me in these terms.  
His Treasure (says he) having been exhausted, by reason of the excessive expenses which he had made in building of Edifices, causing Plays to be represented, and in augmenting the Soldiers pay.  
But I pray, in what can a Prince better employ his Treasure, then in making of sumptuous buildings, in recreating of himself, and in recompensing the Warriors.  
He endeavoured, (said he) to raise himself again, from the expenses which were made in the maintenance and entertainment of the Men of War, to lessen the number: But considering that it was to give way unto strangers to play him some affront, he made no scruple to ransack and pillage all manner of ways, the goods of the living and of the dead also, which were confiscate, upon the report of the least accuser: and to undo a man, there needed nought else, but to go and say that he had spoken ill of the Prince.  
Is it thus that one ought to speak of Princes? what can he say worse of thiefs and robbers? Is it not a brazenfaced impudence to use the same terms for the Sceptres of Kings, as for Thiefs stealing hooks, and to compare them alike?  
He took possession (says he again) of those inheritances where he had neither right nor pretext of succession, as soon as there was a False witness found, who would say, that he had heard the deceased (to whom Domitian had tyrannically ravished the goods) say before his death that Caesar was his Heir. Besides he had imposed an excessive Tribute upon the Jews, and there were some who feigned they were none to free themselves from it: And to that purpose, I remember that being yet a young Youth, I was present when an Old man of fourscore and ten years old, who was thought to be a Jew, was visited by the Emperor's Deputy; also before a great assembly of Counsellors, to see whether he was circumcised yea or no.  
What think you, Infernal Gentlemen, is not that an insupportable injury? How can I help the faults and excesses of my inferior Officers? For my part, I wonder that the Princes my successors do suffer those scandalous writings to be published to my dishonour, I who have spent so much money in the reestablishing of the Libraries which had been burnt.  
As he uttered this word, 
Suetonius his Complaint.  Suetonius said with a dying voice: It is true, that was a recommendable action, and therefore I have not forgotten to make mention thereof. But what canst thou reply, if I accuse thee to have written in a letter (which contained a certain command) these words, witnesses of thy pride and impiety: Your Lord, and your God commands it thus. And if I have said the truth in my writings, whereof dost thou complain? How have I spoken of the Divine Augustus, of Great julius Caesar, and of Trajan? What Heroical actions have they done, which I have not published? But for thee, and thy semblable who are crowned plagues, what fault have I committed putting before your eyes your tyrannies which causes horror unto men and all the earth?  
This discourse of Suetonius was interrupted by the Secret Accuser and Kindler of Dissensions, 
Accusation against the Merchant's evil Angel.  who addressing himself to Lucifer, showing him a Devil with his finger: That Devil, said he, comes but now from the World, and 'tis twenty years since you sent him thither. Presently Lucifer commanded that he should come near: he came frowardly, and presented himself to his Prince. How (did he ask) hast thou been so bold to stay so long without coming to give an account of thy actions? Well, thou art come, but thou hast not brought along with thee, not so much as one poor wicked soul, nor no manner of news from the other World. My Prince, answered the Devil, do not censure me, (if you please) before you have heard me: whosoever condemns before he hears the party, might by chance do justice, but it would not be just. Your Devilship may be pleased to remember that you gave me a Merchant in keeping, 
A Merchant  near unto whom I have employed the time whereof you asked me an account, that is to say, I have been ten years to cause him to commit the Thefts, and ten other years to hinder the Restitution. See a little the Diabolical excuse which he hath found, said Lucifer! Hell now a days is not worth any thing, all is here corrupted, 'tis not now what it was wont to be, and the Devils are not now worth a rush. Then turning towards his Vassal: Alas poor idiot! was it needful to stay so long near a Merchant to make him steal, and afterwards to hinder him to restore? thou art an ignorant, thou dost not yet perfectly understand the Art of devilishness. And then calling one of his Officers: Carry away, said he, this Devil, and put him in his apprenticeship to learn his Trade: I see he is a Knave, and that he tells me but a Tale: doubtless he hired himself to the Comedians to be an Actor in their Plays: 'twas there that he was occupied.  
At that time there came from the side of a little hillock, 
Fathers without Children.  Men who ran after Women: They cried out, help, help, secure us, and the men; stop, stop, take them. Lucifer commanded that they should all be seized on. What's the matter amongst you, said he? and one of those men, who was almost out of breath, answered him: We are the Fathers without Children, and these Carrions. Speak more civilly and truly, said then a Devil unto him, who as one may presume was protector of the respect due unto those Dames: he had reason touching the truth, for it could not be possible that they should be Fathers without Children. It is true, said that man, that we are all Fathers, as having had Children who called us so; we were married, and men of honour and wealth: and though we had been absent a long time, and had great sicknesses which hindered us from child-getting; though we were de frigidis & maleficiatis, or else that being near them, we did nothing but sleep, nevertheless they brought us forth Children every year, which we were bound to nourish, believing charitably that they were of our propagation, for one poor embrace, which it may be we had once all the year long; and in this opinion, we have engaged our Souls in a thousand Rapines, Robberies, Usuries and Thefts, for to leave them many goods: and now that the mothers are dead, we have learned that those Children were forged by our servants and friends; and also some of them have conceived by the ears, as stoates do.  
Thereupon came a little Husband a Spaniard by Nation, who seemed to be an end of a man, who spoke like a dog that yeopes: and approaching near the company he began to cry out: Oh infamous Woman! thou art here, 'tis now that thou shalt deprive me of this Title of Father having not deserved it, and yet to the Son of my Moor: I protest unto thee, that thou shalt presently restitute unto me the Title of legitimate which I have given him. Alas! I always mistrusted something, but I would never have thought that this disloyal woman had committed such Black sins, there being so many fair young men about us. I did almost attribute the fault unto certain Monckes, (whereof I am sorry with all my heart) because this wicked woman to abuse me, went almost every day in their Covent, saying it was to confess herself: and I who took no delight in this excessive mortification, I (in confidence) complained unto the same Moor: I do not know, (would I say unto him) where thy Mistress gets all those sins which she goes daily and hourly to confess in that Covent: and the Ribald Moor, with an Oh God Sir! what do you say! I engage with all my heart my soul with hers. Alas! 'tis a Lady which doth but 
* Note, that Pies in French signifies both pious and Megpies.  pious works. I was then such an Innocent, that I took this answer for a praise and excuse in favour of my Wife: But I have perceaved since, that it was a true confession of their joint trespass, for it was true that he engaged his soul with hers, and begat pies together, because he was black, and she was white.  
Truly 'twould be very fine, said, (after him) all the adopted Fathers, that a man should pass all his life time, sometimes suffering all the discommodities that a Woman with child gives to all those that are about her, sometimes waiting upon her being in Childbed, enduring the importunate cries of a child, the fadles of a nurse which must be flattered, cogged withal, well nourished, well lodged, and well paid. And though we see well enough, that those children resemble us not, for all that, we avow them to be ours, and to hear their adulterous Mothers say; Verily it needs not to be asked who is the Father, he hath all the lineaments of his face: he laughs and weeps as he doth: & besides all these troubles, suffered patiently, to see us at this present in Hell both Damned and Cuckolds altogether: 'tis too much, it must not be so.  
Then a great rumour was heard in a very deep Dungeon, betwixt the Ghosts and the Devils. The Visit made a stand, to know whence that proceeded. 'Twas seen that they were the Presumptuous, Revengeful, and Envious, 
Presumptuous, Revengeful and Envious.  who killed themselves with crying out. Some said, Oh, if I could be borne again! Others, Oh if it was permitted unto me to return in the World! Oh if one died twice! And on the other side, the Devils besotted and wearied with these importunate Exclamations, said unto them: Ye Infamous Deceavers, will you never leave these impertinent and unuseful wishes? You are Cheaters: for though you could be borne and live again, not only once, but a thousand times, It is most certain that you should yet die more wicked, and then it would be impossible for us to drive you hence with bastonadoes. Nevertheless to the end you should make a trial of the truth of our words, and that you should acknowledge who you are, You have a grant to revive and return again into the World: Up then Rascals, go, be borne again, return bacl, return. The Devils saying this, yerked those poor Souls with their Whips, and thrusted them to cause them to go out: but rather than to consent unto their deliverance, as soon as they heard these words: Up, be borne, and live again, they were taken with such a great fear, that they remained still, and buried themselves in a profound silence.  
There was one of the company, who seemed to have a more reaching wit, and to be more resolute than the rest: which began very gravely to say by way of deliberation whether he should go out of Hell, or no.  
If I am begotten a Bastard, 
Miseries of the Infancy.  I shall be despifed and scorned of all, by reason of my Fathers and Mother's sin: If I shall be lawfully begotten, than I am sure the Marriage-makers will play their part, with a thousand fables, devices, and false tales, with other things incident unto Marriage, as many secret imperfections and infirmities of the one or both the parties. At my very birth I shall begin to weep, at the Miseries of Man's life: I shall live, not knowing what it is to live, I shall begin to die, before I have learned what Death is: I shall be envelopped with Swadling-cloathes and blankets, which represents the being wrapped up in a Winding Sheet, and the Cradle, the Sepulchre: I shall suck the breasts of some unwholesome Nurse, which it may be will stifle me in her sleep, which it may be will leave me a long time in my filth, who will pin a pin about me that will prick me a whole day, my Teeth will break forth, I shall have the Frets in my belly, by reason of the ill substance wherewith my Nurse's disorderly life will feed mine. Insomuch, that to the end I may shun all those Miseries, I had rather remain in Hell for ever. And if by chance, I survive this Age of Infancy, and that I scape the Small Pox and Purples, and that I come to be sent to School, I shall be subject to catch the Itch, it may be a Scauld Head, and Kibes at my Heels: if it be in Winter; I shall have a Limbeck Nose distilling snivel and Snot: I must learn my lesson, upon pain of the Rod: If I go late to School, the Buttocks shall pay for the sloth of the Feet. Cursed then be he, who will long, to be borne again. Again if I come to Youth, I shall be ensnared, 
Miseries of Youth.  in the enticings of women's Luxury, they will set Traps every where to catch me, and by a thousand several Charms flatteries and Lasciviousness in their habits and behaviour they will oblige me to satisfy unto their Lustful Appetites. For my part, I am no more of the Humour to take the garb of a Courteous and Neat Adonis: I will not suffer again the Shoemaker's Torture, 
Adonis.  which causes Corns to come in one's Feet; I will Iron my hairs and Beard no more, nor change my Swanlike colour into that of a Crow: I will no longer admire myself in my Shadow, nor go any more to play with the Balls, of mine Eyes in assemblies, profaning often sacred places, to see which of them hath the Fairest Looks: I will not go again to warm the Air of the Night, with my Inflamed Sighs, nor to be an ominous bird, to be companion unto Bats and Owls: that Passion hath left me, which made me make the Zany in the corner of a street, and the round about a Mistress' lodging, to adore her imperfections, make chains with a fillet of her Hair, or to give all my Goods for one of her Shoestrings Oh cursed and more than cursed is he, that would begin again, to lead such an unhappy life. Then seeing myself a Man, 
Miseries of Manly age.  to be overwhelmed with Cares, and several troubles, of Process and quarrels, if I have goods: If I am Poor, with sorrows of my misfortune, betwixt repentance and experience; beginning to have a feeling of the forerunners of diseases, which Youth had purchased by little and little with its debaushes. Thus making my Noviciat to attain unto Old age and being arrived, 
Of Old age.  to become Melancholy, Grim, finding no object which can please, rail against Years and seek out the Fountain of Youth in Shops, and the Razors and Painting of a Barber; to say that Wrinkles, are signs and marks, brought into the World, or else that they are caused with too much laughter, disavowing my Years before so many Witnesses, who depose against us, as the Weakening of strength, the Dimness of sight, and want of Teeth, the Gout, Megraines, Catarras, and the stone or Gravel. And besides, what pain can be compared to a Palsy of the members? and seeing myself as it were fall all to pieces, to say that I am Lustier and healthier than ever I was, that I could travel better, that my legs are younger, and a thousand other fooleries, which do cost dear unto those Old fools, that says them. But all that is nothing, in respect of the discommodities which Love brings; 
Against Old people being in Love.  when it takes hold of a man, which is strucken in years, and principally, when he sees himself embarked to Court a Woman in concurrence of some Youthful Rival: Sometimes to be constrained to blush, when they will call me their Old Sweetheart, and will say; now the time is not as it was wont, and many other things as troublesome to endure. And if peradventure, Life holds out, to lead a man to Decrepitude, 
Miseries of man being decrepit.  and that it fashions his head like the Picture of Death, that his Flesh be consumed and wasted away, and that there remains nothing but a Lose and Wrinkled Skin of the colour of dried Walnuts; that he goes with a staff in his hand, stumbling against Sepulchers as it were to desire them to make him Room; that he be as a dream, or like a moving Fantasma; that his Kidneys and Bladder, be converted into a Quarry: that he becomes an Astrologue of Urines; that he be espied by his Heirs; that he be the Rent of Physicians, the Occupation of Surgeons; the Swallower and Paymaster of the Apothecaries Old Drugs, that he be called Father, and sometimes Grandfather: No, no, one Hell is much better than two Wombs.  
When I come likewise to consider the Happiness, 
Miseries of life in general.  Virtue and Conditions of Life: that to be Rich, one must be a Thief; to be a Man of Honour, you must be a Flatterer, an Inventor of Subtleties, and Inquisitor of others Affairs: that if you Mary, you put your self in danger of being Horued: to be Valiant, be a Mutineer, Quarrelsome, Blasphemer: and amongst all that if you are Poor, none will know you: if you be Rich, you will know no body: if you die Young, it will be said, you were Unfortunate: if Old, that you were good for nothing, and that 'twas no great loss: If you are Devout, and that you frequent the Church, it will be said you are an Hypocrite: if you do not, it will be thought you are an Heretic: if you are of a jovial disposition, you shall be held for a Bouffoune: if Sad, for Unpleasing and Irksome: if you are Courteous, you shall be called a Catcher of Young fools: if Discourteous, Proud: Then Farewell Worldly Life, and those who will begin it again. I would not re-enter whence I came out, for all what the World esteems most. How now Camarades, said he unto his Companions, now you have heard me, is there any one amongst you who hath a mind to return into the World, and to retrograde his life as fare as his Mother's Belly? No, no, no, answered they all: Hell, Hell, rather than Ma Mam: Devils rather then Midwives.  
After that, was heard a Testator, that is to say, a man who had made his Will, which was saying: 
One Repenting because he had made his Will.  Am not I a cursed man, to be the Homicide of myself? if I had made no Testament, I should be yet in perfect health. The most dangerous disease, after the Physician is the Will: many more have died, because they had made their Wills, then by reason of any other Disease. Ye Living, Living (cried he with an open throat) look you make no Wills, and you shall live as long as Ravens. Unhappy that I am! I threw myself in the peril, putting myself in the hands of Physicians, and I have signed my Sentence of Death when I signed my Will. The Physician forsook me, when he prescribed unto me to put my affairs in order. And I being led with wisdom and devotion, began at the instant the prologue of my Will, in these words, IN NOMINE DOMINI, AMEN, etc. then coming to part my goods, I spoke these words: (Oh why did I not then become Dumb!) Item, I make my Son my General Heir. I give unto my Wife such and such things of my moveables, etc. Item, to such a one my Servant, I give the sum of, etc. To such a one my Servant-Maid, such another sum. Item, to such a Gentleman my Intimate Friend, (to the end he may remember me) I bequeath all my Silver Plate. Item, if I die, it is my Will, that Liberty and Freedom be given unto Mustafa my Slave. Item, to Master Doctor such a one, a Physician, I give my great Diamond, in consideration of the care and diligence whereof he hath used, during my sickness. And from the very instant that I did set my hand to those Articles, the Earth, unto which I had bequeathed my Body, hungered after my Flesh, and asked for it to devour it: and every one of those to whom I had given Legacies, and my Heirs, took care whether I should die or no, and if the sickness would be long. After that, if I asked some Potion or Julep, my Heir at the same time demanded my Goods: my Wife likewise the Tapestry and other Movables which I had given her: my Servant, his Legacy: my Friend the Plate: & the Physician, to recreate his sight upon my Diamond, demanded to feel my pulse. If I asked him of what I should eat? Of all things, would he say. If I made some Groan, my Son believed that I was yielding up the Ghost, my Wife commanded, that the Hang should be taken down, and the rest of the Move ables put up: my Servant was importunate for his Legacy: my Friend asked how much the silver Plate which I had given him was worth: the Slave would have his Freedom: & because nothing of all that, could be executed until I was dead, it appeared, that even as I gave and dispersed my goods amongst them, even so I ordained that they should all wish for my Death. And therefore, I protest, if I came to live again, I would make a Will altogether different, from the first. I would say, I ordain that whatsoever my Son shall eat of my Goods after my death, may be converted into Poison; that my Curse may light on his Head, and that all that which I leave against my will, (because I cannot carry it away) aswell unto him as unto the rest, that the Devil may take possession thereof: and carry it away if he can. That the Plague, Rage, or Despair may choke my Wife. Item, if I die, I ordain that my Slave my have so many stripes, with a stirrup leather, three times a day: That my Wife may make herself party against my Physician, accusing him to have been cause of my Death: for I must avow that I am not in charity which that Wicked Fellow: because he hath not contented himself to have tormented me being in Health, and to have made an end of killing of me being sick, he hath yet persecuted me after Death, even as he, and the most part of his profession do, of those Poor Idiots, who abandon themselves unto them, to go so much the sooner in the other World. For when they have dispatched us, and that we are gone, they do accuse us of a thousand Imperfections: God's Peace be with him, say they, his excese of Drinking hath killed him. How could we Cure him, he was so Disorderly in his diet? he was a Mad Man, he was a Fool, he would not obey the Physician: It was a Rotten Body, Cacochyme, a jakes of Infection: he lived so ill, that it was much better for him to die; his hour was come. Oh Thiefs, Oh Murderers! 'tis you that is the Hour: for at the instant that you enter, in a sick bodies chamber, one may very well say, that he shall die, and that, His Hour is come. Cruel, is't not enough for you, to take away the life of a Man, and to cause yourselves to be paid for his Death, as Hangmen do, but you must excuse your Ignorance, upon the dishonour and Infamy of the Poor Deceased? Oh ye living who creep yet upon Earth, learn of me, how you ought to make your Wills: for if you will practise the method which I taught you just now, the Young, will attain unto Old age; and the Old, unto Decrepitude: you shall all die Contented and full of days, and shall not be cut down in the blossom of your Age, by the Doctoral Scythes of the Physicians.  
This Deceased spoke with so much vehemency, that Lucifer judged, he had spoken the Truth: but because all Truths are not good to be said, and chiefly amongst Devils, who hate it Mortally: and fearing lest a greater disorder should happen, if the Physicians came to the hearing of those discourses, spoken by the deceased to their prejudice, Lucifer ordered that he should be gauged.  
Of necessity silence was made, to give ear unto the rumour of a Damned, which running like a furious Frantic, came and passed through the company, crying out: Where am I? where am I? what's the meaning of this? I have been cousined: There are Devils, who Tempt; others, who Damn, and others, who Torment: I have runned and visited all Hell, and yet I see not one of those Devils, who have brought me hither; where are my Devils? who hath rob me of my Devils? let my Devils be restored unto me.  
There was never such a stranger thing seen, to look out for Devils, in Hell, where they are in swarms: and as he did run, like one out of his wits, the Doüegna took him by the arm, and stopped him. Oh unhappy Ghost! if thou wantest Devils here, where dost thou mean to go and look them? He opened his eyes, and knowing her who stayed him: Oh Ensign of Belzebub, Figure of Satan, 
An Invective of one of the Damned against a Doüegna.  Mediatrix for the Damned, Assembler of divers Sexes, Heaper up of Vices, the Sinners Guide, Seasoner and Temperer of Delights and Pleasures; Whoredoms Harbinger, the Spendthrifts Prologue, the Interpreter and Mediator for the Luxurious, where hast thou left the he and she Devils, who have brought me hither? for, I am neither such a Sot nor Idiot, that I will be cheated, and carried away by these Devils who have tails, and horns like Oxen: who are as smoky as Pot-hangers, who have Swine's dugs, and Bats wings. Those that I look for, are far more wicked; they are those Mothers, which wound men with their Daughters, launching them forth as venomed darts; those Aunts, which cause their Nieces to fly up and down, as sparkles of fire; those Subtle and Guileful Lasses, who pieerce with their Eyes, which they hold as steady as a Cavalleere doth his Lance; those Flatterers, who perpetually say, yes, to all which is desired of them; those Sowers of Quarrels and Dissensions, who are the Worms, which Gnaws the Rest and Quiet of others: those Traders in Lies, who report that which they have not heard, affirm that which they know not, and swear that which they believe not. Those Slanderers, which are the carrion Crows of the Honour and Credit, who fall and feed only on dead flesh. 
Hypocrites.  Those Hypocrites, who make Profit of Mortification, as of a Rent; who seem to be in an Extasis, when they are Glutted; who publish their Lies, for Revelations; who make Pulpits, of Tables, and Banquetts; Deserts, of Companies; Miracles, of Ordinary things, who Divine all things, after they have been told them; who raise the Living from the Dead, who sergeant to be sick, when they should work, and who give people unto the Devil with a do grtias. Those were the Devils which were cause of my Damnation: and thou shalt restore them unto me, and find them out, thou cursed Old Woman, for they are all hidden under thy Garment.  
Thereupon, he takes hold on her: there was much ado, to separate them one from the other. This Desperate Fellow pulled & dragged a long, the poor Doüegna; insomuch that he tore the veil, wherein she was wrapped up: but Lucifer made them hold their peace with his absolute Power.  
That done, a great noise of Hinges and Gates not well oiled, was heard, with a strange rumour of a great multitude of people: 
Old Women painted.  the first which appeared were Old Women Painted Presumptuous and Babblers, who counterfeited to be jovial and frolic: they laughed and fooled together, showing that they were not discontented. The Secret accuser disliking their carriage, failed not but accused them presently, in that their mirth accompanied them even in Hell, which was reputed to be a very Criminal trespass. At the instant they were questioned why they were so merry, seeing they were of the number of the Damned, who have for their portion nothing but Weeping and gnashing of Teeth: And then one of the company, which resembled Death, mounted upon Pattens of half an Ell high, according to the fashion of the little Ladies and Dames of this age, who speaking in the name of all the rest, advanced herself saying: Lord Lucifer; coming hither, we were very sad and melancholy, as much as Old damned Women may be, and so Old and worn out, that there is nought else remaining on us, but the Marks and the Excrement of years, over the Bones: but as we saw this inscription, which is upon the Gate of this Habitation: Here is the abode where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth, we have all been comforted, thinking that if there was no other torments to suffer, we should be quit at an easy rate, seeing that we are so dry, that there is no moisture in us, which can produce any tears; and besides, that we are all toothless. There may be yet some moisture in your Eyes, and some Stump in your mouths, said the Flatterer: therefore your Jollity may be vain, and of little durance. They were visited and found so dry that they were put in Hell's Tinderboxes, to serve for Tinder and Matches.  
After them, 
Pernicious obstinate.  arrived many people of all Conditions, Qualities and Offices, who began to cry out: Gentlemen, Gentlemen said they unto the first which they perceived: which of you is it, who keeps the Register of Recompenses? show him unto us, before we come in, any further. Why said then one of the company, I thought we had been in Hell: but since there are here Recompenses to be hoped for, I see that we are not there. Good, good, good, answered all the multitude. A short joy, a short joy, replies the Flatterer. Good Hell, Good Hell, therefore 'tis to no end to think that there are here Registers kept, for Recompenses, where liberality consists, nought but in Pains, and Torments. Nevertheless, we hoped for them very much, said he who had spoken first. How could that be? said the Flatterer: I will tell you, said the other: Certain people, being informed of our Thesis, moved with Charity, have often endeavoured by Holy Remonstrances to make us alter the course of our Life: but being Naturallized unto it, we answered them with these reasons: What can we do less? Should we stay, that those things, which every one keeps so carefully, should be brought unto us? And how would you have a Vagabond live, who hath neither Master, nor Office, and who loves to pass away his time, with Courtesans, at Play, and Taverns, if he had not some subtle industry? And then he that gave us those wholesome Counsels, seeing our Obstinacy, told us; The recompense then, will be given you in the other World.  
As also, when any one of us, Courted a Friend's Wife, abusing of his Confidence, and Dishonouring his House; and, if any shown them, the Enormity and Baseness of their fact, they excused themselves thus, What will you have us do? shall we rather go into houses, where we are watched with a Poignard behind a door, or with a Pistol, then in those, where the Entry is so Free & easy, where I am invited and feasted, and where I am trusted: and then, the party who rebuked us, seeing our hardness of Heart, left us with these words: The recompense thereof, shall be given you in the other World. And because we thought, we had been arrived in that other World, we ask for those recompenses, which the Virtuous have promised unto us.  
Abominable Rascals, said then an Officer of the Sovereign justice, how many wicked men are there amongst you, who have often abandoned their house and family, to the discommodities of want and necessity, and to spend and bring to naught, all their goods, to debauch and corrupt Chastity, and to commit a thousand Whoredoms and Adulteries, and when they were admonished, to take compassion of their Wives and Children, they insolently answered: We have recommended them unto God, who will have care of them; aswell as of Young Ravens and other Birds. And Infamous Villains, were not you then told; that you should receive the recompense in the other World? 'Tis at this time, and in this place, that you shall receive Your Recompense. Up Cursed, come in, 'tis time. Saying that, a multitude of Devils, took Firebrands, and began to give them the Recompense promised & hoped for; which was, a liberal & ample distribution of Blows: and whilst they complained, vomiting forth horrible oaths, a voice was heard, which said: The Recompense shall be given you in the other World.  
After this tempest, many Evil Spirits were seen to approach, together with Sergeants, Bailiffs and Pettifogger's who hauled and dragged, bound hand and foot, the thief's Evil Angel, 
Accusation against the Thieses evil Angel.  accusing him of a trepasse, very Criminal. The Lucifer, with a fell and cruel look, sitting himself in a Chair, of flaming fire: with all his Officers about him: at the instant a Reporter, (that's to say, he that hath the Office of rehearsing and informing of a business) began to say: Prince Lucifer, her's a Devil which we bring unto you, accused to be ignorant, in the exercise of Devillishnes; it is a shame, that he should be honoured, with the Title and Quality of Devil, for, he trade's in a Function, contrary to his Profession, seeing, that all his work, tends to no other end, but to cause men to be saved. All the Tribunal started, at this word, SAVE, as being, awful in that place: they did all by't their lips, to the very blood, testifying the horror they had thereof: and then the Supreme Cursed, turning towards his Attorney General; Is it possible, said he, that amongst my Vassals there should be such a perfidious Traitor? Lord Lucifer, answered the Patriarch, It is true that this Devil hath no other profession, then to induce men, to steal and rob their Neighbour: when they are discovered, they are imprisoned, and then hanged: but before they are led, to the execution, they are instructed admonished and exhorted unto Repentance, and by that means, they are saved; and, your Devil, who is none of the craftiest in the World, thinking to have gained those Souls, when he hath caused them, to commit those Crimes, he leaves them, whereas he should tempt them to fall in Despair, and kill themselves insomuch, that being in the hands of a good Confessor he makes them have an earnest remorse, in their consciences, of their offences, and by that means they save themselves against your Devil's belief, who hath not yet perceaved, that one may go to Heaven by the Gallows or Flames. Thus your torments, have been frustrate of their due, which ought to have befallen unto them: There needs no other accusation against him, but that, said the Precedent: And the poor Devil seeing that his sentence was going to be given, began to cry out: My Lord, harken unto me; for though it is said that the Devil is Deaf, that's not to be understood, of your Greatness. Every one was silent, and he said: My Lord, 
The Devil's Instification  I grant you, that most of those who are hanged do scape me: but, if you will make an estimate, of those which I cause to be damned, condemning others: I am sure, I shall be found quit, on that side: how many Officers, of all sorts do I send you? whom I cause, to take Bribes, to let some of them lose; how many False Witnesses do I send you, who depose, according to the rate, of the money which is given them? How many Clerks, who give unto a Process, What form the interessed desire, so that they have wherewith to pay, for the making: How many jailors gives the flight, unto the Pigeons of their Dove-house, in case they fill their purse? and how many Attorneys, who neglect or forward th● proceed, according to the stipend, which is given them? And amongst all these Briberies and Pillage if it happens, that they cause justice to be made of some Thief, it is not to destroy Thiefs, but to the end, there should be no others, than they, and that, they should remain alone, in the CommonWealth: Insomuch, that when they punish a Theft, they do often commit many others, which are worse than the Theeve's, whom they send to the Gallows: for they are not inquired after: and though they were, they know the necessary Cavillations and Crafts, to take away the knowledge thereof: so that all being well weighed & considered, it happens, as unto him, who to drive the Rats, out of his House, brought in, Cats: for if the Rats, did gnaw some piece of Bread, some rind of Bacon, some Candles ends, or Parchmin; the Cats do overthrow, to day, his Pot, to morrow eat his supper, than his Partridges, so that at last, he is constrained to wish for his Rats, and detest his Cats.  
I have made use of that craft: I willingly truck, one Thief, for two hundred, who Hang him; and to three thousand Old Witches, who go to the Gallows, to look out, for some Ropes ends, and great Teeth, to work some mischief. But whatsoever I do for the advancement of your Empire, I am very ill recompensed: therefore I desire to rest myself, and I beseech you; to give my place to another: as for my part, I intent to spend the rest of my old age, by a Pretender.  
He had all the content which he could desire, and a strict inhibition and defence unto the Evil Spirits, who had abused him, to take heed that they should not mistake in time to come, upon pain of Corporall and Spiritual punishment. Nevertheless, he was entreated not to resign yet, his Office, considering, that he was of reasonable years, to execute it, and to do good Service therein, besides, that to wait upon a Pretender, 'twas an insupportable trouble & labour, and not an ease. I will do all what you please, said he: but I believe that with a Pretender, a Devil, remains his legs & arms cross, & his ears open, learning Devillishnesse of him: I imagine that there will be but pastime and recreation for me; 'twill be, as if I went to the Devil's school: for those kind of people teach the Devil's Alphabet; by that means, there's nothing to be done about them, but to learn & to be Silent.  
Thereupon, 
The Tobaccoes Evil Angel.  the Tobacco's Evil Angel arrived: I was much astonished with that Vision: I had always imagined, that it was a Devil, who possessed many, but I did not altogether believe it. I have, said he, avenged the Indies, of the outrages, which the Spaniards had done there, for I have done more harm unto the Spaniards by introducting Tobacco amongst them, than the King of Spain did unto the Indians, when he sent them Colon Cortes, Alemyro and Pizarro; because 'tis fare more Glorious, to die amongst Shot, Swords, and Lances, then amongst the Snot, Sneezing, Belching, Giddiness, and sometimes, the contagious Purples, which the stinking use of Tobacco engenders. These takers of Tobacco, merely resemble the Possessed; when they are exercised, there goes forth from them Vapours and Foams, at least as infections: but they always remain Possessed with the Evil Spirit: for they are Idolators of this Tobacco, they make a Deity of it, which ravishes them, in an Extasis, they praise and extol it, above all things, they tempt and persecute every one, to make them use it: If they take it in Smoke, they make in this World their Novitiat for Hell, where they must be hardened, to endure Smoke: and if they take it in Snuffe, by their Nostrils, they accustom themselves, unto the discommodities of Old age, whose Noses are always Snotty and Dropping, and Flegmes in their mouths.  
After this, 
The Suborners Evil Angel.  came the Devil of Subornation: he was Fair and well proportioned; whereat I was much astonished, having yet seen no Devils, except he, but such as were fearfully Ugly: his visage was so familiar, that I thought I had seen him, in a thousand other places, sometimes Veiled, and sometimes his Face Uncovered, sometimes calling himself, children's Play, and sometimes, Courtship: sometimes, took the name of 
* It also signisies, gift.  Don, and of Present, and sometimes, of Alms, here, of Payment, and there of Restitution, however, I never saw him called by his own name. I also remember, to have seen him named, Inheritance, Profit, Good cheap, Retrimony, Reward and Nothing: as also to have known him in some other place, Doctor, and in another Licentiat; amongst all Women, he was a Bachelor; amongst the Attorneyes, Clerks and Advocates, he was reputed and called, Law and Equity.  
This Devil was well accompanied; 
The Evil Angel of Consequence.  he pretended to the Title of Satan's Lientenant. But the Devil of the Consequence opposed himself mightily to his design, saying: I am the Imbroiler, the State Politic, and he that Clogs Princes, the Pretext of the Unworthy, and the excuse of Tyrants: I am an excellent Dyer, of evil actions; I give them what colour one will: Besides, my strength is able to turn all the World upside down, and to put it in a general Confusion: I banish Reason; I convert the Importunity, into Merit; the example, in necessity. I can give a form of Law unto Successes, Authority to Infamy; and Credit to Insolence: I can Shut, and sometimes Open the mouth unto Counsellors according to my mind: In a word, I do that, which amongst others, is esteemed, Impossible: and as long as I shall be in the World, there will be nothing to be feared, of Virtue, justice, nor of good Government. And also this Devil of Subornation, who pretends to the Lieutenancy, what had he done without me? If I did not put a veil upon his face, how could he thrust himself in Magnificent Companies, as he doth? let him learn then to know himself, and to hold his peace, and let him not dispute with me the quality of Lucifer's Lieutenant, which ought to be granted unto me.  
And I, said another quarrelsome Spirit, I am one of those, 
The Cuckolds Evil Angel.  who most humbly hid themselves, behind a Door, who contents himself with toys and fopperies, a hundred to a pound: in fine I am a Laconic Devil, and with few words, I have but four words to speak, and then let him come next who will. I say then, that I am a Devil Interpreter, and the exercise which I do in the World, is that I persuade Cuckolds that it is an Honour, and a means to be known in the World, and that there are many who should not be known, if their subtle Wives, did not purchase that quality unto them. As also, I cause a certain Comeliness, and Charming Handsomeness amongst Women, thereby always to have a friend, to make use of, in case of necessity: and cause all those, who want such dexterity, to be reputed as Silly, Sottish and to be despised; and amongst other things, wherein I meddle, I can cunningly convert the Theft, in an Office, and the Officers in Thiefs. That being said, the Devil was silent.  
There was a little moment of silence; then another Devil was heard who said: I am one of the least, of the Diabolical Nation: but yet, open the gate, for, I do not come, empty handed, as the rest. What dost thou bring? said then the Secret Accuser coming near him: a Prattler and a Flatterer, which are Pieces of Cabinet, for Kings: and for that reason I bring them, unto ours. Lucifer did cast his eyes upon them: and at the same instant, made a face as grim and sour, as if he had bitten a green Crab, than he said: Although as thou sayest, they are Pieces for a King, I do not love that Present.  
After that another Young Devil appeared, saying: My Prince, it is six years since, that I am after a Base Fellow, worth nothing, and so little worth, that I do not know, how I could overcome him: for with being so Infamous, he is good for nothing, neither for Good, nor Evil. Thou art much troubled, said the Dovegna, why didst thou not make him worth some thing, and then to have placed him in Offices and Dignities, thou hadst presently ensnared him.  
In the mean time, 
The Luxurious Evil Angel.  the Secret Accuser who went every where, in the form of a duck, searching out the faults of others, passed by a Corner, where he found a great faggot of Old Devils all Moldy, Musty, and full of Cobwebs: he came presently to give notice; presently they were unbound, to be ayred: 'twas very troublesome to wake them; then they were asked what Devils they were, what they meddled with, and why they did not intent their Vocation. They answered gaping, they were the Devils for the Luxurious, but that since women had found Gold, more pleasing and to be cherished, than their Chastity, the Luxurious needed no Diabolical Inspirations nor subtleties, to persuade them, to yield unto their desires, seeing, that the glistering brightness of Gold, did so dazzle their sight, that it made them fall backward. That Gold supplied to all the defects and imperfections of Lovers, and that the Temptation of a bag, hath more efficacy, than a thousand Devils all together, because a Woman or a Maid, will rather fall under a 
* Don in Spanish is the apposition to a Knight, as in English Sir. In French it signifies Gift The Nuns Evil Angel.  Don, then under a Temptation, though it should be called Lordship, and under a, Take this, then under a Million of Fair Words.  
Next, was heard a Devil who snored: and but for that, they had trodden upon him; but his own noise, discovered him. He was taken, and asked, why he slept thus, a Cuckold's sleep: It is three days since, said he, that I sleep as you see, because I have nothing to do: I have liberty, I am the Nun's Devil: My Ladies are now busy, to elect an Abbess: and when they are busied in that occupation, I may play and take my rest at ease, for, there's not one at that time, but is a very Devil. They make Parties, Bribe, they flatter this, and persuade the other: to be short, there's such a Confusion amongst them, that my presence would but disturb them: Also, those Ambitious Ladies, make it a point of honour at that time, to have it seen, that they are more crafty and more subtle than the Devils: and I give you notice, that if by chance it happened, that Disorder, Sedition, and Mutiny, came to be wanting here, and if Peace did hazard to enter; 'twere but to make here, an Assembly of Nuns, to elect an Abbess, you should see such a Dreadful Disorder, that we should not know one another.  
Lucifer found this advertifement very good: and caused it to be Enrolled, in his Registers: and to the end he might remedy all things, and also take care for the increase of his Empire, he commanded that all the Commonalties and Cantons of his Nations, should be assembled: and then in obedience of his Decree, there appeared almost an infinite multitude of Unhappy Spirits. At the same time Lucifer opening a horrible and fearful mouth roared out, these Gracious Words.   

A DECREE OF LUCIFER, 〈…〉 for Reformation  
DESPERATE Legions, People for ever condemned in the darkness of my Empire, yea the Hirelings of Sin, unto whom Eternal Death is the payment: I let you know, that two Devils have pretended to the Dignity of my Lieutenancy, and that I would not gratify the one, nor the other thereof, considering that amongst you is a She Devil, which merits it above all.  
At these words, all the Assembly began to look one upon another, and to discourse and murmur; Lucifer perceiving it: Do not trouble yourselves, said he, to guess who it should be: Let Good Fortune come hither, which by another name is called, the She Devil Prosperity: and at the instant, She was seen to come from the rear of the company, who with a Proud and Scornful look made a stand, before the Degraded Angel, he having looked on Her, spoke after the same tone as he had begun. I Will, Ordain, and Command, that ye honour and respect, next after me, the Lady Prosperity here present, as the most Great, 
Effects of Prosperity  Superior, and Superlative She Devil: Titles and Qualities, which I give Her, as due unto Her merit; because she alone, hath caused a hundred times more people, to be Damned, than all of you altogether. 'tis She which makes men, to forget God, and the affection towards their neighbour: 'tis She, that causes them, to establish their SUMMUM BONUM in Riches, who engages and entangles them in Vanity, which blinds them in the enjoying, which loads them with Treasures, and which buries them, in their Trespasses. In what Tragedy, hath She not played Her part? what Wisdom and Prudence could stand so firm upon its Legs, which She hath not caused to Stumble? what Folly doth not augment, taking access with Her? what good Counsels, doth She Receive? what Correction doth She Fearè, & which, doth She not Deserve? After Her, who finds out and furnishes matter, unto Scandals; experience, unto Histories, who Foments Cruelty unto Tyrants, and who imbrewes Hangmen with Blood? How many Souls are there, who lived in the State of Innocence with Poverty, which coming to receive the Favours of Prosperity, are become Wicked and Impious? Now then, Infernal Spirits, henceforth, let as much reverence be rendered unto Her, as unto myself, and know, that those Souls which maintain themselves Humble, to the proof of Prosperity, are none of your Game: and therefore you must not insist on them, for there's nought else but time to be lost. Considering, that they of the World, who obtain and possess all what they desire, turn their backs presently unto God, and forget him so much, that they do not remember his name. The Poor contrariwise, 
The Poor.  hath always God for the object of his Heart, and for Motto these words in his mouth: LORD, I HAVE NO HOPE BUT IN THEE: MY GOD REMEMBER ME: And therefore, said Lucifer, redoubling his cursed howl: My Will and Pleasure is, that from this time forth it shall be published, throughout all the extent of our Estates and Dominions, that Calamities, Troubles, and Persecution, are mortal Enemies unto Hell; seeing, they have been acknowledged and noted to be of the contrary party, and to be enrolled in God's Warfare; and further, that they are effects of his Infinite Wisdom, and Gifts of his Almighty hand.  
Item, to the end our Government should be reform, I straightly will and command, that my Devils should always be present in the Hear and Tribunals of Magistrates discharging the said Devils, of the care of Pretenders, Pleaders, Flatterers & Envious, seeing they know the way unto this Kingdom, and how to lead one another hither, better than the Devils can teach it them.  
Item, that henceforth, 
Profit is a Devil.  no Devil keep company with any other confident, but with him who is called Profit, considering that he is the Harbinger, which lodgeth Vice, most largely, in the straitest Conscience.  
Item, in whatsoever part a Devil be, 
Money one of the greatest Devils.  excepting not any; we ordain that when Money shall arrive there, that he shall raise the siege, and with honour and reverence, yield most humbly his place unto him, as acknowledging him a greater Devil than he, for that is most important, to the preservation of our Empire.  
Item, 
Idleness the mother of Vice.  we most straightly and expressly command unto all our Officers, to impeach and hinder War, from all parts, as much as in them lies, because it exercises, the Courageous; it doth recompense, the Virtuous; employs, the Valiant; causes God to be remembered, and casheeres Jdlenes, which is our intimate Friend. And for the better effecting of this present Article, we ordain unto all our Devils, to establish a general Peace, throughout all the World in case they can compass it, because during its Reign, all manner of debaushes, will have free liberty: Idleness, is put in practice: Luxury, is in fashion; Gluttony, is exercised; Detraction, is put in use, Lying, is established; Panders are busied, and Whores, employed, in a word, all Vices increase, and Virtue declines.  
Jtem, 
Touching the Luxurious.  we henceforth, exempt and dispense our Lieutenants, of the pains which they were wont to take by intangling men, in the Lasciviousness and Voluptuousness of Women, because we know by experience, that there is no sin, which is more trusty and faithful unto us, then that, for as soon as Repentance his capital enemy, hath, for some time, caused him to dislodge from any place, he is so affectionate for our service, that he reenters there presently, when it takes a stronger root than before.  
Item, 
Touching certain Merchants  in consideration of the Exemption aforesaid, and seeing, that there are Notable Merchants, in many Towns and Villages of the World, who charitably secure, many persons, and amongst the rest, the Youth of these times, commonly called Debauched, which to borrow money, have recourse unto them: And the Merchants excusing themselves, saying, their Purses are empty; offers them, some Wares out of their shops, which those that are in want, do accept, with an intention to sell them again, to supply, to their excess or necessities: and underhand those Merchants have confidents who acquaint themselves, with those who want; and go along with them to the Merchant, which sells his Merchandises at an excessive rate, then, when they have sold it very cheap, and accommodated themselves, the Merchant hath his Wares again, and thus, he obliges those who crave his assistance. In consideration whereof, we ordain, unto the most Vigilant of our Devils, to assist and remain perpetually, as Factors in the service of those Merchants, seeing, that in such a Negotiation, they need our help and industry.  
Item, our Will and Intention is, that our said Devils, keep a constant company, unto our beloved Friends the Venereous, Revengeful, Envious, & Pretenders to Offices or Dignities, and above all the rest unto Hypocrites, considering, that it is the Mediator for all things, the Charm of all the senses and powers of the Soul, who works so Curiously that its operations are Imperceptible unto the senses therefore it is admitted, Recompensed and Adored of many.  
Item, 
Touching Reporters of Secrets.  We ordain that the Reporters of Secrets, and Sowers of Sedition may be carefully maintained, because it is one of our seeds, which fructifies most.  
Item, 
Flatterers.  We ordain that Flatterers & Kindlers of Noises, Debates, Divorces, Quarrels and Dissensions may serve in steed of bellows, and not of Fans, to the end they may blow and inflame, and not temper and refresh.  
Item, 
Intermedlers of others affairs.  that the Intermeddlers of others affairs be the Lice of Hell, that they may eat to the very blood, those who nourish and entertain them.  
Then Lucifer, with a stern and grim countenance and looking side-wise upon the Doüegna, said this Proverb which is in use amongst the Spaniards; Düenas de se las Dios a quire las desca: God give the Doüegna unto whom will have her. I am much troubled, said he afterwards, what I shall do with them, I know not where to cast them. And then the Damned who saw that he disposed himself to rain a shower of Doüegnas on them, cried out all with one voice: Do we not suffer torments enough, without the addition of this? then every one said to himself; Oh cursed Lucifer, cast them where thou wilt, so it be not near me, and as they uttered those words, they hide their heads one amongst the other, as Sheep do in the Fields during the scorching heat of the Summer, for fear of this new torment whereof Lucifer threatened them. He, seeing the extreme terror wherein he had put them, contented himself with that; Then he said: Well then, look that henceforth, my Laws and ordinances may be punctually observed. Alias, I swear by my Darkness, and by the Obscurity of my Crown, that, that Devil or Damned who shall infringe them, shall be condemned to the torment of Doüegna, that is to say, that there shall be one chained with him, any opposition or appellation whatsoever in any wise notwithstanding. And as for them, let them be presently locked up, by themselves in that Dungeon of jakes, to make use of them, as we shall see cause that place and time shall require.  
After this solemn Decree, Lucifer retired himself within the gulf of his eternal night; and the Assembly frighted, with this horrible threat, disbanded: every one went to exercise the function of his Office: all at once vanished away, and at the instant an Angelical voice was heard, which uttered these words: Whosoever shall have the understanding to comprehend the Morality of this Discourse may reap a most advantageous profit for his Soul, and may say: SALUTEM EX INIMICIS NOSTRIS, ET DE MANV OMNIUM QVI ODERUNT NOS.   
FINIS.