Oliver and Old Nick judging the case of John Barleycorn THE Arraigning and Indicting OF Sir John Barley-Corn. THE Arraigning and Indicting OF Sir John Barley-Corn. A man of a noble blood, and well beloved in England, and hath been a great maintainer of all England, both rich & poor, yet now is found guilty of many a sinful act and bloody crime, & therefore he is arraigned & condemned, & stands to the mercy of the jury, & if any man have any thing to his charge, let them appear at the sign of the three Loggerheads in Bacchus' Court, and there they shall be heard by the two noble judges, Oliver & old Nick his holy father. Given under the hands & seals of these 2 above written, at the sign of the three merry companions in Bedlam, that is to say, poor Tom, merry Robin, and jack Lackwit. Newly composed by a well wisher to sir john, and all that loves him. By poor Tom for the King, a lover of mirth, but a hater of Traitors & Mischief. Thomas Robins the Author. Printed for T. Passenger, at the three Bibles on the middle of London-bridge. 1675. The Tune is, Old Sir John Barley-corn: Or, Tom of all Trades. ALL you that be good fellows, come listen unto me: If that you keep the Alehouse▪ and merry company; Attend unto my story, which is I fear too true: It makes my heart full sorry, and many doth it rue. 'Tis of a Gallant noble Squire, which many know full well, An honest man I witness can, if I the truth may tell▪ His Name is Sir john Barley-corn, which makes both Ale and Bread: What should all do which how are born, if Barley-corn were dead? For as I abroad did walk, I heard a piteous cry, And many a man did talk, that Barley-corn must die; His enemies increase so fast, at board and eke at bed, I fear their malice will not cease, till they cut of his bead. For Smug the honest Blacksmith, doth make a piteous cry, And Nick the nimble Tailor, doth vow that he shall die: And Will the Weaver doth complain, with many Tradesmen more, I hope their labour is in vain, therefore they may give o'er▪ Yet now a little while give ear, you that are standers by, And you presently shall hear Sir john condemned to dye. All you that love poor Barley-corn, a good word for him give, And he that speaks against him, I wish he may not live. Gentlemen, if you please but to give so much attention, as to spare a little time, you shall presently hear Sir john Barley-Corn called to the Bar, and all his accusers appear, giving in their Bills against him: and also his friends which comes and gives Evidences on his side, and saves his life after ●e was Contemned to dye. The arraigning and indicting of Sir JOHN BARLEY-CORN. O Yes, O Yes, O Yes, if any Man or woman, in Country, Town, or City, have any suits or bills of indictments against Sir John Barley-corn, let them appear this day, and they shall either hear or be heard. Vulcan the Blacksmith appears, & gives in his bill. Be it known to you all Gentlemen, that this Sir john barley-corn hath been a sore Enemy to me, and too many of my Fellows: for many a time when I have been busy at my Work, not thinking any harm to any Man, but having a fiery spark in my throat I one time going over to the sign of the Cup and Can for one Pennyworth of Ale, there I found Sir john: I thinking no Hurt to any Man, sat me down to spend my Honest twopences; but in the end Sir john began to pick a quarrel with me, and than I started up, thinking to go my way, but than Sir john had got me by the top of the head, that I had no power to help myself: and so by his strength and power he threw me down, broke my head, broke my face, and almost all my bones, that I was not able to work of three days, I was so sorely tormented in my head and other parts of my body; nay, more than this, he picked my purse, and left me never a penny, and therefore he doth deserve to die. Will the Weaver. Now Gentlemen, I do beseech you to hear me speak; I am but a poor Man, and have a Wife and a Charge of children, and a poor Weaver by my trade, yet this in-knowing Companion will never let me alone, but he is always enticing me from my Work, and will not be quiet till he hath got me to the Alehouse, and than he quarrels with me, and abuseth me most basely, and sometimes he binds me hand and foot, and throws me in the ditch, and there stays with me all Night, and the next Morning leaves me, but not with one Penny in my Pocket, and therefore if you hung him, I will never grieve. The Tailor comes in. And I shall never grieve if you either hung him or head him: for I am sure he hath been a great Enemy to me these many years: for as I never loved him, I never cared for his Company: for I always Loved Master Wheat far better than Barley: Yet one time as I was coming home from my Work, I espyrd Sir john and two or three good Fellows was a quarrelling, so I skipped amongst them, thinking to make them good Friends: but as soon as Sir john saw me take my neighbour's part, he strait way began to quarrel with me, and gave me such a mump on the teeth, that I fell backward▪ and all to be wrayed me, broke both my Elbows, broke my Yard-wand: nay, worse than that: the very same day my Wife met with him, and he like an ill-conditioned Knave abused her, which made her learn so much Mischief, that she comes home as Drunk as she could not stand, and beats Back and sides: Nay, she has got the way so perfect, that I am persuaded she will never leave it: and therefore by my consent, you shall put him to the same Death that I have put many of my enemies too, and that is to snap of his head. Mr. Wheatly. Head him, I hung him too, if you Please, you shall have my consent: for I am sure he doth deserve it, for I am certain he doth daily and hourly abuse me. I am sure I have been a Man that has been very highly esteemed both with Lords, Knights and with Squires, and none could please them so well, as james Wheatly the Baker, but now the case is altered, Sir john barley-corn is the Man that is highly esteemed in every place: I am now plain james Wheatly, and he is Sir john barley at every Word: and that word hath undone many an Honest Man in England. For the company of Sir john barley-corn, I can prove it to be true, has caused many an honest Man to waste and consume all that ever he hath, and more as he can get it: Nay, he has caused many a Man to cell House and Land, and all that ever he can to maintain Sir john barley-corn: Nay, when Men both done all that ever they can, sold all, spent all. and left nothing: yet the Fancy they bear to jack barley-corn, makes them to rob and steal for money for to maintain themselves in his Company: Nay, rob and steal will not serve sometimes, but kill and slay, Murdering one another for Money to keep Sir john barley Company, till at the last the Hangman gets a great part of them, and this Sir john Barley-corn is the grand Foundation of all this mischief, and therefore he deserves to loose his head. Old Noll, and old Nick the judges. Well, What answer can you make for yourself Sir john: You hear the Complaints made against you: harein you are sound Guilty both of Felony and Murder. Sir john. I beseech you Gentlemen to let me have the benefit of the Law to Speak for myself, if it shall Please you to hear me, I hope that I shall clear myself. You do all know, Gentlemen, that every Man will strive to make his case as good as he can: although be himself be in the most Fault: And as the Old Proverb goes, Some bad better steal a Sheep than some look over the hedge: And so it is by me in this Condition, not as I am accused by one of these Persons, but by them all, so I intent to make answer against them all, and Speak nothing but the Truth. These Men complains that Sir john Barley-corn hath undone them all, which is false, as I shall make it appear. I confess my Name is Barley-corn, 'tis true: but you never knew Barley-Corn do any harm, if they do not abuse him, but always did good, and hath relieved as many poor, as any Man: and will do still, if they do not abuse me and my Name, as they have done before time, and doth still, and in a malicious way they take my right Name from me, and after much abuse takes my good name from me: and instead of calling me Sir john Barley-corn, they call me Master Malt, and so I come to be abused and basely belied on: for it is Master Malt that has done all this wrong, which they say I have done. Mr. Malt. Who I, Brother john? indeed but that thou art my Brother, and I love thee well, I would hit thee one slap in the teeth: but no time past, thou and I shall meet again. Gentlemen, As for my part I will put my matter to the Bench. First, I. pray you insider with yourselves, all Tradesmen ●ould Live: and although I Master Malt ●o make sometimes a Cup of good Liquor, ●nd many Men come to taste it, yet the Fault is neither in me nor in my Brother ●ohn. Not, not, the Fault is in such as these which make this complaint against us, as I ●hall make it appear to you all. As in the first place, Which of you all ●an say but Master Malt can make a Cup of good Liquor, with the help of a good Brewer: and when it is made it must be sold. I pray which of you all can Live without it. I but when such Men as these, which complains of us, and finds it to be good, ●hen they have such a greedy mind that they ●hink they shall never have enough for their Money, and so will overruns wit, and than ●hey begin to quarrel with me and my brother john, till at the end we are forced to take ●hem by the top of the Head, and lay them ●own fast asleep, than I pray you judge whether we or they be in the fault. The judges. Truly we cannot see that ●ou are in the Fault: but as for Sir john Barley-corn, we will show you so much Favour, that you shall have three days to turn you in, to see if you can found Bail for your good Behaviour: and as for you Master Malt, you must bring in Bail too against the next Sessions: and so Farewell for this time. Now Sir John Barley-corn and his Brother Malt is marching together, & for joy that they got so fairly of, they went singing this Song. The Tune is, Sir John Barley-corn. ALL you that be good fellows, come listen unto me, If that you love the Alehouse, and merry company. My name is Sir John Barley-corn, which many know full well, My brother's name is master Malt, as many one can tell. Though Smug the honest Blacksmith, on me doth sore complain: E'er long I know I shall not miss, to shoot him through the brain▪ And honest Will the Weaver for all he is so stout, I know he'll do his deaver to have the other bout. And Nick the nimble Tailor; will venture his best shears, Till Barley-corn and Master Malt do take him by the ears. Though Master Wheat the Baker he be my younger brother, He'll not deny a bout to try with me or any other. There's not a Tradesman in this Land, that ever yet was horn, But will take a touch, sometimes too much of Sir John Barley-corn. Therefore all honest Tradesmen, a good word for me give, And pray that Sir John Barley-corn, may always with you live. Master Malt. I, but hear you brother john, now you put me in mind, you know you are to appear again to make answer for yourself; therefore I would have you to provide some honest Man to speak for you, else you will be in great danger to loose your head, and than we are all undone. O brother Malt, take you no care for me: for as for my part I do not fear but I shall have enough to Speak for me: therefore welcome luck. Live or dye, I fear nothing, and so farewell for this time: for I think I hear them call John Barley-corn. I am here, I am here, I am here. What is the Man mad? The Judges. Sir John Barley-corn, appear, and answer to what is here laid unto your charge. Here you stand arraigned and condemned to loose your head. A very sharp piece of bussness Gentlemen: truly, I am afraid that it will overly my stomach: I hope Gentlemen you will take a part with me, or at the lest hear my witnesses speak: for I am falsely accused. The judges. Thou shalt have any favour that can be had therefore bring in thy Evidence, and let us hear what they can say in thy behalf. The Ploughman enters. Gentleman, I pray may a Man Speak without offence, that doth intent to speak nothing but the truth, and no more? The Judges. Yes, thou mayst be bold to speak the very truth and no more: for that is the cause we sit here for: therefore speak boldly that we may understand thee. The Ploughman. Gentlemen, in the first place let me hear what bold, impudent Rogue dare speak one Word against Sir John Barley-corn? who ever he is, he is no better than a Rogue, a Thief, a Vagabond, a Traitor to the Brown Loaf, a Thief to the Brass Pot, the Oven, and the Spit: Nay, he is a Traitor to the whole World, that would take away the life of so noble a man as Sir John Barley-corn: For he is a man of an ancient House, and is come of a Royal Race; There is neither Lord, Knight, nor Squire, but they Love his company, and he theirs: so long as they do not abuse him, he will abuse no Man, but doth a great deal of Good, I can make it appear in many kind of Ways: And in the first place: Few Ploughmen can Live without him: For if it were not for him we could not pay our Landlords their Rents: and than I pray what would such men as you do for money and : nay, your gay Ladies would care but little for you, if you had not your Rents coming in to maintain them: and we could never pay you, but that Sir John Barley-corn féeds us with money, and yet would you seek to take his Life; For shame let your malice cease, and pardon his Life, or else we are all undone. Enter in Bunch the Brewer. Gentlemen, I beseech you hear me speak, my name is Bunch a Brewer, and I do believe few of you can Live without a● a cup of good Liquor, not more can I tell how to Live without the help of Sir john Barley-Corn; As for my own part, I maintain a great charge, and keep a great many men at work, I pay Taxes, forty pound a year to the King, God bless him, and all this is maintained by the help of Sir john: than how can any man for shame seek to take his Life? Enter in Mistress Hostiss. Take his Life, I pray who is that which they would take his Life? It is Sir John Barley-corn, Mistess Hostess, they say they would take of his head? How, take of his head! than they shall take of mine too: what impudent Rogues be they that say so? I am persuaded that they be none that loveth the poor Commonalty: surely they be none but some miserable Rogues that makes their Bags their God, heaping up their chests with Money to stop the Devil's Mouth when he comes to fetch them away; such as these would have no body to Live but themselves. Indeed such as these do not care to take of the head of any man, if they could but enrich themselves by it: away vagabonds, away vagabonds, away you bloodsucking rogues, away you muckworms of the World, you would have no body Live but yourselves, I hope Sir john will yet stay amongst us, when Old Nick will fetch such as you away by ten at a burden. Gentlemen, I do beseech you not to take notice what such Fellows says, for they care not what blood they shed: As for Sir john, I know him to be an honest man▪ and never abused any Man, if they abuse not him: First, in so doing they abuse themselves, for all they say he abuses them, I do protest to you Gentlemen, before you take his life, you shall take mine, nay, I beseech you give me leave to speak to you; if you put him to Death, all England is undone: for there is not such another in the Land that can do as he can do, and hath done; For he can make a Cripple to go, be can make a Coward to fight with a good Soldier; Nay, he can make a good Soldier to feel neither hunger nor cold; and besides, for Valour in himself, there is few can encounter with him, for he can pull down the strongest Man in the World, and lay him fast asleep, therefore I beseech you Gentlemen, let him Live, or else we are all undone. Enter in Exciseman. Gentlemen, all this is true which the woman speaks; for if you put Sir john Barley-corn to death I and my Family are all undone; for I pay a great Rent for my farm, and I have a great many Servants under me, which lies me in great charges, and if you put sir john to Death I and mine are all undone, and therefore I pray let him Live if you love the Commonwealth. The judges. Well, we see no cause of Death in this man, therefore he shall not Die; Sir john your life is pardoned, henceforth and for evermore; therefore down on thy knees and pray for King Charles the second: I will sir, and a curse on his heart that will not say Amen to our prayer. Sir John's prayer. O Heavens protect our Gracious King, his Royal Queen also, Lord grant them long time to be seen in spite of cruel foes, from Traitor's bold that seek the King and Queen for to destroy, defend them Lord with one accord unto their subject's joy; that while the Sun and Moon doth last, we may enjoy a King, and when death doth come, provide them a room, with Angels for to sing. And he or she, what ere you be, that will not say Amen, sir john doth pray, both night and day, you may never speak again. Written by Thomas Robins. FINIS. Books Printed for, and are to be sold by Tho. Passenger on London-Bridge. THe pleasant History of Cleocreton and Cloriana. The jovial Garland, or sundry new Songs and Sonnets, never printed before. The Garland of Loyalty, containing sundry new Songs of these late times. The pleasant History of Parismus, Prince of Bohemia, in three sheets. The Garland of Love and . The Lover's Academy, or loves new School, containing sundry Compliments of love-letters. The Trial of wit, being a new book of merry Riddles. The Man in the Moon, discovering a world of Knavery under the Sun. FINIS. Oliver and Old Nick judging the case of John Barleycorn