MATRIMONIAL HONOUR: OR, The mutual Crown and comfort of godly, loyal, and chaste MARRIAGE. WHEREIN The right way to preserve the Honour of Marriage unstained, is at large described, urged, and applied: with Resolution of sundry material Questions concerning this Argument.  
ALSO An Appendix, added to the Treatise, describing the just and terrible judgements of God upon all that dare violate the honour of Marriage.  
To which is added an Alphabetical Table, very necessary for the Readers understanding, to find each several thing contained in this Book.  
Set forth for the good of all such as either are to enter, or are already entered into this Honourable estate.  
By D. R. Batch. in Divinity, and Minister of the Gospel.  1 Thess. 4. 4. 
And, that every man may know how to preserve his vessel in holiness and honour.  
LONDON, Printed by Th: Harper for Philip Nevil, and are to be sold at his shop in Ivy Lane at the sign of the Gun. MDCXLII.   

To the Right Honourable, and his very good Lord, ROBERT Earl of Warwick, Baron of Leez, etc.  
The AUTHOR of this TREATISE wisheth all Health, Honour, and Happiness.  
Right Honourable:  
WHen I was first intended this Discourse (being some years' si●ce) me thought I felt in myself a desire of some intermission from former Arguments of deeper exercise, and more spiritual nature: as conceiving that a Moral Theme might, another while, both revive my wearied spirits, and perhaps delight the Reader with variety. Hereupon I considered wh●t Object in this kind might most fitly sort with my thoughts; and ●fter some inquiry, both the many complaints of the married, and daily questions moved unto me by such as intended marriage's as also secondly those notorious errors and corruptions which (through sin and Satan) have insinuated, nay pierced the very entrails of this State; and lastly (which is worst of all) those infinite pollutions of body and mind, in all degrees of men both natural and unnatural, moved me with resolution to fasten upon this Argument. But notwithstanding the pregnancy of these inducements, the Theme seemed so weighty, that I was forced to search what furniture I had stored up for such a work. And at last I found the case to stand with me, as it doth with two friends, who through discontinuance, or absence, have waxen strange each to other; until by some fair occasion of meeting they h●p to renew their acquaintance. So stood the case between myself and these Meditations, which gave the first draught of the Treatise ensuing; which since my first preaching thereof lay long by me, as half forgotten; but now seemed to present themselves to my view with double appetite and savour, as promising to be material and useful for the bettering of public manners, and helping to redress the corruptions of the time. Accordingly therefore shaking off the dust and soil of my Papers, I have bestowed some pains to contrive them into some such order and expression, as might (if not satisfy the curious, yet) profit the desirous of cou●sell and resolution in cases of this nature.  
You see (Right Honourable) how bold I am to draw you from your deeper occasions, to listen a while to these private notions of mine: which I presume (out of your facility to give best construction to things) you will not disdain to do. To proceed then: Alas! How evident is it, by men's practice, that although all confess they ought to be religious (and who now adays is otherwise?) yet few will admit the yoke of God upon their neck, in the wise undergoing of those relations wherein they stand obliged? Among which this of marriage is a rooted and fundamental one, as being in order before the rest; and such an one as either affords influence and sap to them (both Family, Polity, and Church) or else infers a blemish and aspersion upon them all. So that, if men would derive the savour and power of godliness into this estate of life, seasoning it with the graces of self-denial, and faith, and holiness; they should (doubtless) enjoy it in a far more sweet and contentful sort then now they do, while they detain this truth in unrighteousness, separating the thing: which God hath united.  
Men tell us, they will hear Preachers (while they keep their bounds) while they teach them only faith and repentance; but if they will ●eeds meddle with a more close and near search of their l●ves and relations their callings, companies, trade, liberties; or if they will pry into their more retired ways, their closerts, chambers and marriages, then, as he who raged against Elisha for the discovering and defeating of his plots to the King of Israel: 
2 King 6. 13.  so these recoil at the Minister, and threaten they will give him over. They tell him they can teach him as good passages and rules of experience as himself can. So far are they from standing to God's Bar in these points▪ and say, They knew them ere he knew what his Books meant; they are near a kin to that lascivious Poet, 
Catull. Epigr. Castum esse decet, & pium Poetam, Ipsum: versic●los nihil necesse est.  who being told of his unchaste Epigrams, answered thus, It's true indeed, its meet that the Poet himself be chaste, but as for his verses, let them have their course, to show the Author's wit and skill, it matters not what they be. So say these, We grant all, that we must be honest folk, but that our marriage actions should run in the stream of Religion we deem it nice, and more than needs. Subtle men (we say float a oft and dwell in universals, but bring them to the particular, 
Camerar. fab. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.  show them Rhodes, and the stage whereon they should dance, and then they are at a set, their great skill suddenly fails them.  
Howbeit, if we look into the Scriptures▪ we shall meet with some whose very marriages have been cast into the mould of obedience. Not to urge the rules which Paul gives to husbands and wives, both for their entrance upon, and cohabitation in that condition; 
Luc. 1. 6.  we read of Z●chary and Elizabet, both which were just, walking before God in all his commands without reproof: that is, they practised piety, righteousness, and soberness, in the state of marriage. How could they walk in all Commands, b●lking the fifth, which urgeth Religion in our particular state of life? But what say men to this? Surely as the Papists tell us, assurance of salvation belongs to Peter a●d Paul, and such as had special revelations, but it's no ordinary man's case. So say these, such as Zachary and Elizabet were eminent persons▪ masterpieces, above the common size: objects of admiration, rather than imitation. But alas! This mist is not thick enough to escape in: all of us under the Gospel are under the some law which they were, we are a royal Priesthood tied to as str●ct a rule as ever they were, of chastity and holiness.  
I doubt not ●Right Honourable) if the question might be decided by your voice but you are of this mind; and desire to be of the same practice Now yet why I devote this Treatise to your name, many may wonder, as deeming many other subjects more worthy and proper to present your Lordship withal. But (my good Lord) such is the estate of frail flesh in this veil or misery that there is no condition of l●fe, whether Ministry, Magistracy, single or married state wherein counsel may not do well for the rectifying of such errors as through humane infirmity break into all. Each state hath his several temptations, and a well ordered course in marriage (as long experience of a double marriage can te●ch you) is no easy Theme. again that sweet and mutual accord which God hath vouchsafed 'twixt your Honour and your worthy Consort, may serve to turn my Dedication into a Gratulation. 
〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.  And indeed, though the Book be much under the value of such a personage as yourself (a m●n not only of Noble descent but of great and deserving acts both for our Church and Commonwealth both formerly and of late) yet I presume, 
Act. 24. 2.  that if a draught of muddy w●ter presented in the crown of a hat, 
Nunquam bibi●su vio 'em, etc.  was so welcome to a potent Monarch: then doubtless your honourable spirit will not reject a Scholar's Mite, offered with as deep respect unto you, as that was: you will not despise small things, since there may be a blessing therein. 
Scal. de art Poetic.  Not always in a great thing there is good, but in a good there is ever great, and that which may agree with greatness, 
〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.  as one tells us out of a Greek Poet. All helps shall one day cease, yet every book of use may serve as a little walking-staff to further us in our travel home.  
Moreover it may become the best Scholar of us all to learn that lesson which Paul, 
〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.  and from him my Book urgeth; The time is short (wrapped and folded up, 
1 Cor. 7. 29, 30 Eccles. 3. 1. etc. 5.  as the Text is) Let them that possess, be as if they possessed not, such as weep, as if they wept not, such as rejoice, as if they rejoiced not, such as marry, as if they married not, such as use the world, as if not using it: for the fashion of it passeth away. 
Matth. 22. 30.  A time for all things, and so a time for the married to embrace, and a time to be far from embracing. Seek therefore that place where all these relations shall cease, (for so I think, though some think otherwise:) where there shall be no marrying, nor giving in marriage, for the Spouse shall be wholly spiritual, like her husband, at least like the Angels of God. In which desire I rest, craving a blessing from heaven upon your Honour, your virtuous and Noble Lady, and posterity: as also upon the perusal of this your Book: and so humbly take my leave, resting  
At your Honour's command in the LORD, DANIEL ROGERS.   

To the READER, All health.  
Judicious and religious Reader, this Wheel of our Conversation, whereof this Book treats, (Marriage I mean) including many lesser wheels in, and under it, all subject to the motion thereof, and each of them requiring a due order and direction, that both might be regular, and according to knowledge; how should I think any other, but that I have lighted upon this point of Marriage by a special Manuduction of Providence? Desirous we are sometimes that the matter we have by us in readiness, might be seasonable also for the times wherein we live: But, when indeed the manners of our present age seem to give a life to that which we have before prepared, (for thou knowest Occasion is the life of a Thing) then doubly it appears seasonable, yea as Apples of gold, and Pictures of silver. Howbeit further musing of the matter, sundry other smaller cords concurred to draw me on to this endeavour: whereof I will make thee partaker, (as counting it none of the smallest mercies that I may give an account to the Church of God, for the improving and redeeming of my seasons) in these sad times; wherein that good God, who allows us any the least protection and liberty, requires that we spend it not in vanity and froth, but to the best advantage, if not as we would (for he is wiser than man, 
1▪ Cor. 1. 25.  yea his foolishness and weakness exceeds the best wisdom and strength which is in us) yet as we may for the better making up of our reckoning, at his coming, when the use of our Talents shall be examined.  
First then, I observed, that Religious Consent between couples did not only fashion the family relations, the children and servants, much the more orderly; but also extended itself to the Church and Commonwealth; causing those services which concern public communion of worshippers, to proceed more fair; as also the duties of common life, to pass more comely than otherwise they would do. One godly and harmonious Couple, I have noted, to dispatch more good service to God, to themselves, to their brethren, than some ten couples unequally yoked. So true a maxim of Machiavelli and his master the Devil it is, He that would bear rule, 
Si vis imperare, divide.  let him sow discord and division. This one wheel then being of so main importance; what need is there that the spokes and staves of it be sound, and well compact, according to the rule of the Sanctuary? This was one motive.  
I observed moreover, that as barren as the world is of good persons, and good couples, yet here and there are scattered many of a tractable and docible disposition, to do well, and to order their marriage course aright. Only their Principles lying, 
Psal. 50. ult.  rather in a moral way of good affections, zeal, and duties, then in the particular relations of life, in which they live, as of marriage; yea, being ignorant of that which should either inform their judgement, or order their will thereunto; alas they never attain the Tithe of comfort, and content which this estate might afford them. How great pity were it then to defraud such people of directions, who if they might enjoy it, would not be wanting to improve it? How many full of knowledge, yet live, (and in marriage especially) as if they had none? By so much the more its pity that such should want it, as would gladly enjoy the fruit of it? And considering, that without knowledge the heart is not good; and that good intentions without rule, are as a goodly Coach without a skilful driver; I conceived I should do them acceptable service, and some glory to God, in casting this Platform of Direction for them, out of God's Word. This seemed another inducement.  
Besides these, as we see a great deal of ground vanisheth in a narrow Map, which in a larger lieth open; so I have noted, that in Sermons, or short Touches upon the fifth Command (wherein the Preacher only following his text, meets with no such occasions of inquiry) much instruction about particular duties of Marriage are concealed, which yet (in a Treatise appointed for the nonce) will offer itself fitly to be discussed. They that are in a crowd, must get through as they can; but the door standing open freely, one by one may pass through with ease. So is it here; a Treatise hath this advantage, to reach in many things which a general handling passeth over: and satisfaction to a doubtful mind, is more easily given this way, then by some other means of more weighty nature: Each ordinance of God serving specially for that end, which another doth not. A poor star may in her use exceed the Sun, when its dark, and night season: though the Sun exceed all Stars in her light. This was a third respect.  
But above all other, I considered that the woeful overflow of sin, and of Lust by name, in this our age, which reigns as in her element, through disdain or violation of the ordinance of marriage: seemed to need some check and affront from heaven, which might remain as a witness against our debauchery, and which might flait men out of their uncleanness. Unto this work, though I know myself the unfittest of many, yet as one having more leisure than they, (as sometime a looker on may see what a gamester oversees) I durst not wholly decline that task, so far as this vice offered itself, or came within the bounds of my Treatise. The contempt of long light, having begot those spiritual penalties of a secure, unbelieving, impenitent heart, with apostasy from the truth: how should it be otherwise, but the spirit of grace must straiten itself exceedingly, both in removing of many helps, and a fruitless living under such as remain? And what then must follow, save a formal, empty profession of that truth, the power whereof is woefully wanting! Now we know, hypocrisy cannot long continue within her own bounds, but she must quickly discover herself to be openly profane. When was hearing, 
2 Tim. 2. 3. 5.  and worship (in the memory of man) accompanied with so much wickedness? or when had Popery bettery colour to traduce our Gospel for a doctrine of licentiousness? And while men have leisure enough for every other thing, who looks at reforming of ill manners? And how justly doth God leave men, who will not be as they ought, (with Hazael) to prove worse than they seemed? What argues this, that men living in a practice of drunkenness and uncleanness, dare press upon a Minister of Christ, for comfort to their souls, as imagining it to belong to them? Is it not a sign of a spirit of giddiness reigning in the world, out of deep doting upon their prayers and hypocritical worship? Hath such a Baalamish conscience ever appeared, and so commonly as now it doth in all places? Dare Usury, drunkenness, covetousness, swearing, (which are more infamous and hated) openly proclaim their shame: and do we think that more secret sins, which love the dark, are not much more generally practised, as sodomy, fornication and wantonness? For which sake the wrath of God justly comes upon the children of disobedience! And this fourth was my strongest reason.  
Now then as my endeavours want not due motives, so it lies in thee for whose sake I have written, to look to thyself, lest it be undertaken in vain! If there be little hope that my Physic (not mine, but Gods) will work any great Cure, yet I wish it may prove preventing to such as yet remain untainted? What the success is like to be, lies not in me nor thee to determine! At least this I desire, that they who are entered, or are to enter the estate of Marriage, may find these rules somewhat advantageous to further them in their choice, or to guide them in their course! I shall be happy in my design, if either of these be obtained: to the effecting whereof, I commend all to his grace, who hath by his providence brought this Treatise to an end, both for me to publish, and for thee to peruse.  
Thine in the Lord, D. R.   

A Table describing the several Contents of the Chapters of this Treatise, and the Appendix thereto.  

Chapter 1.  
Contains the Analyse of the Text: The first point handled, viz. Marriage is honourable.  
Chap. 2. More full Explication of the specials in which the honour of Marriage consists: (being the ground of the Treatise ensuing:) viz. in entrance and continuance: Entrance first, that is, Marrying in the Lord, handled.  
Chap. 3. The second requisite unto a good Entrance handled: viz. Aptness and Suitableness.  
Chap. 4. A first digression: Touching Consent of Parents, with sundry Questions and Objections answered.  
Chap. 5. A second Digression, touching a Contract: what it is, and sundry Quaeres about it answered and resolved.  
Chap. 6. Return to the first Argument: The second part of the Marriage honour to be preserved, to w●t in the Married condition: and that both general and special; in general by some mutual Duties concerning them both. Four of them named. The first handled. viz. joint consent in Religion.  
Chap. 7. The second joint Duty of married couples handled, to wit, Conjugal love.  
Chap. 8. Treateth of the third joint Duty of the Married, viz. Chastity.  
Chap. 9 Containeth the fourth and last Duty of jointnesse in Marriage, viz. Consent.  
Chap. 10. Proceeds to the personal offices of either party. And first of the Husband. Three several duties named. The first of them handled, viz. That he be a man of Understanding.  
Chap. 11 Goes on to the second personal Duty of the Husband, to wit, Providence.  
Chap. 12. Treateth of the third and last special duty of the Husband, viz. Giving Honour or Respectiveness to the Wife.  
Chap. 13. Handleth the second sort of special Duties, to wit, of the Wife. Three of them named. The first of them handled, viz. Subjection to her Husband.  
Chap. 14. Proceeds to the second Peculiar Duty of the Wife, viz. helpfulness.  
Chap. 15. Treateth of the third and last Duty of the Wife, which is Gracefulness: wherewith the former Use of Exhortation, to honour Marriage is concluded. Two other uses of the point added, and so the whole Treatise finished.  
Chap. 16. Is an Appendix to the Treatise. God's judgements against the defilers of Marriage, terrible. The point handled. Reasons added. A Question answered for explication of the Doctrine. Some uses. Of Terror. Admonition.  
Chap. 17. The main Use of Exhortation to ensue Chastity. Sundry means and counsels propounded at large. And so a conclusion of the whole Book.   
The end of the Contents of the Chapters.   

Matrimonial Honour: OR A TREATISE OF MARRIAGE.  HEBREWS 13. 5. 
Marriage is honourable, and the bed undefiled: but Whoremongers and Adulterers, God will judge.  

CHAP. I.  
The Analyse of the Text. The first point handled, That Marriage is honourable.  
WHAT the peculiar aim of Saint Paul in this Epistle might be, 
The scope of the Text.  in the enterlacing of a solemn praise of marriage between the fourth and the sixth verse of this Chapter (which are of another garb and nature) may perhaps seem questionable to a Reader, not observant of the circumstances of times and persons. Sure it is, that the Apostles scope is very orderly and familiar. For having in the former Chapter propounded the Doctrine of justification in the causes thereof, both matter & form; and having also very effectually built thereon that great exhortation, to believe, and to live by faith. In the chapter before this, he proceeds to the urging of obedience and holiness, 
Chap. 12.  in the general: and in this 13. chapter he proceeds to particularise and instance in some special, and some personal offices and acts of Christian practice. But for the question moved, what should cause the Apostle to think this argument of Marriage as weighty as the rest, and to equal it to other Doctrines handled in this place; may be supposed, not to be from a common notion, swimming with other things in his mind, and uttered by course: but, probably from some occasion of real and present necessity moving him. I will propound what seems to me the truth. There were at the time of writing this Epistle, two sorts and practices of men very rife, and that of contrary intention; the one of heathenish profaneness, the other of jewish superstition: the Heathens, as they thought single fornication no sin at all (as appeared by their common practice of it;) and adultery itself, none of the greatest sins; so, they slighted all denunciations of God's wrath and judgement against either; and snorted securely in the practice of both. The jew, on the contrary extreme, comes in with his Superstition, as thinking there is no way to control this impiety, save by maintaining a flat contrariety unto it, viz. That Marriage itself is unlawful. 
Jew confused in his conc●●t of Marriage.  Paul himself taxeth such false teachers, Forbidding to marry, that is, crossing Gods own ordinance, provided for the safeguard of chastity. Much like the Papists at this day, 
1 Tim. 4. 3.  sundry of whose positions favour of no other strain, then to oppose one error by a far worse. As, because they see men's lives very barren of good works, they have no other way to draw men to be forward in welldoing, then by a false Doctrine, that works are meritorious. Likewise, finding fault with men's backwardness to Mortification; in Policy, they devise such Penances of the flesh as God never ordained, to whip themselves with cords beset with needles, and sharp pricks, or to stand up naked to the chin in cold water, or to fast from all kind of flesh, to go barefoot on pilgrimage, to renounce the world, sell all, and live in a Cloister. This mystery of iniquity wrought early, even here in the minds of superstitious jews and false teachers, who found no way to allay the flame, save by quenching the fire: and therefore, to quash heathenish contempt of marriage by whoredom, or the corrupting thereof by Adultery, they affirm no marriage or carnal knowledge at all, to be allowed to Christians; which remedy is much worse than the disease; as if the life of Devils (adultery) could be overthrown by the doctrine of Devils, 
1 Tim 4. 1, 2, 3.  which is, defiance of marriage. We see this stopping of the stream, hath in all ages doubled the rage of all kind of uncleanness. Here therefore, the Apostle, that he might oppose both these extremities: first, the superstition of the jew, tells him, Marriage is honourable; and therefore an ungodly thing to disannul an ordinance. And the bed is undefiled: there is no necessity of making ourselves eunuchs, to avoid unchastenesse. And on the other side, to the Heathenish, or lately converted from Pagan profaneness, this he adds, But Whoremongers and Adulterers God will judge: 
Heathens opinion of fornication.  q. d. Let no man strengthen himself in his adultery or filthiness, under pretext of the lawfulness of carnal knowledge: for why? whether men go to common harlots, and defile virgins more openly, as Whoremongers; or go to work more covertly, shrouding their sin by the Married estate; although for a time, they may defile or be defiled, without fear or check: yet, they must know, that the God of marriage and pureness, will one day in person sit upon them, and show his detestation of such ways, by plaguing them, be they great or small, high or low, Princes or Peasants. As once Latimer, that holy Martyr, upon an handkerchief with a book wrapped up in it, and presented to a King, wrote this very text for a posy, Fornicatores & Adulteros judicabit Dominus.  
The words then contain in them a Discretive proportion; 
The Analis of it.  the which divides itself into two truths; either an assertive, or denouncing truth: only there must be conceived to be a secret defect of the words in them both, which must be supplied for the making up of a full meaning. Touching the Assertion first, it's two fold; the one concerning the Ordinance itself, Marriage is honourable; the other respecting the use of it; And the bed is undefiled (for so I read it according to the Text and scope.) The second truth denouncing, divides itself into two parts; either a Threat, or the object thereof: the Threat is against the corrupters of marriage, God will judge them. The object is double; first, fornicators, such as mix unlawfully with the single, either harlots or virgins, making these whores, or nourishing them that are so, in their trade. Or else Adulterers, who (although either of the parties married, cause adultery) yet being married, do link themselves with other men's wives, for the concealment of their villainy, and so of bastardy. Both these, the one for his manifest and open, the other his subtle and close uncleanness, shall be adjudged by God himself. The conceived defect of the sentence, lieth in the opposition of the parts, thus, viz, Marriage is honourable, the bed is undefiled, and blessing is upon all that so preserve it. But Whoremongers and Adulterers are dishonourable, debauched ones, and God will curse and plague them. I will go through both the parts, God assisting: and first of the first.  

The first point Marriage is honourable.  Marriage is honourable: and that for four respects: first, in the parts of it: secondly, in the nature of it: thirdly, in the use of it: fourthly, in the quality or sacredness of it. For the parts of it, 
How? in four respects.  if the marriage is best where the parts of it are so (in concreto at least) the wife and the husband, both precious pieces. Of the wife we have sundry Scriptures for her honourableness: 
The first respect.  she is called the gift of God: it's the use of the holy Ghost to style excellent things, Gods things, as the Mount of God, the city of God, the house of God, the garden of God: because excellency cannot own any thing which is base: God's greatness gives no common gifts, so that a wife is no common blessing: 
Woman honourable.  she is God's woman, not only made by God, as she is his creature alone (so by sin she both lost her own, 
Prov. 19 14.  and her husband's royalty also:) But, as she is made up again by God's grace, to a better image than she lost; and so, honourable by a second creation: yea, restored to man with advantage, much better than she first brought unto him in Paradise. By this mean, she becomes an help instead of a snare, a true gift of God, an excellent piece, for which a man may bless God while he lives. 
Marriage is from God, yea in innocency, and he still ordereth it: see Psal. 68 6.  This, I say, in the first place, as the chief ground of her honour: and yet this is not all; she is called the crown of her husband, both by Solomon (using that word) and by Saint Paul, calling her his glory, who before was his utter shame. Crowns, we know, are very precious things and honourable, 
God setteth solitary ones in families.  serving to grace things of chief eminency, Emperors, Kings and Princes: Crowns are made of the purest gold, 
Pro. 12. 4.  embellished with the costliest Pearls, set in with curious workmanship. So again her price is said to be far above Rubies: 
Pro. 31. 10.  yea, Wisdom herself, and a good wife, are not far different in their descriptions; no jewel is to be compared to her, far above silver, yea, the choicest gold. Happy is he upon whose head such a crown is set, to whom heaven hath given such a gift. The other party is the Man; 
Man honourable.  we know the man doth especially resemble the image of God, and in that respect is the Wife's head: 
1 Cor. 11. 7.  and although by her sin, he came to lose his honour, yet if he be a good man, he is a man of understanding, and of an excellent spirit; 
Pro. 17. 27.  yea, better than his neighbour. Not a Reuben any longer, 
Gen 49. 3.  whose dignity is gone, but as Nabuchadnezzar, restored again to his former, yea greater glory; 
Dan. 4. 34.  as job, whose latter life was better than the former; in whom the majesty, 
job 42. 12.  authority and wisdom of God doth shine. Conclude then, if both the members of this body are so honourable, what must the whole be? If each of them be so precious, what is the compound? if a ring alone be rich, what is it with a richer pearl enclosed in it? As we see when a Prince and heir of a crown marries a Princess do wager, how glorious is their union? how honourable their concurrence? This may serve for the first of the four.  
But, 
The second respect of honour. The Nature of Marriage.  lest any should allege, that the Text speaks not of those that make marriage honourable; but saith, Marriage (as such an ordinance) is honourable: therefore let the parties go, and come to the nature and kind itself of marriage. The Greek word here used, 
2 Pet. 1. 2.  is the same which is used 2 Pet. 1. 2. and may as well be translated Precious, or of worth and value, a costly thing: and so it well befits Marriage; for why? It's precious in the nature of it. A Prince is a precious piece in himself; 
2 Sam. 18. 3.  Thou art worth ten thousand of us (say the people to David) without any other respects; he is the delight of his Subjects, an object of natural contentation and esteem. The light of the Sun (though considered apart from the use) a pearl, gold, skill and cunning in Arts, have a peculiar splendour, grace and nobleness of nature in them, and do eminently exceed other things. So marriage in the nature of it (although never so much stained with the unjust aspersions of Popery, and their comparisons with virginity) is a precious ordinance in her nature. How men by their sin make it, is not the question (for a crown may be cast into the dirt) but how it is. I speak not now, how general consent and opinion hath settled it in worth, graced it with privileges, disgraced single life (which yet I approve not) and granced immunities to marriage far above it, both in war and peace (as the Romans law of the claim of three Sons shows) but I speak of Gods own institution of it; for that's only honour which a King gives, who himself devised it; yea, and that not as a relief of man fallen, but an addition of perfection to his creation, before ever sin entered: for the order of it, after all other creatures were made to entertain and grace their Lord and Lady, yea, the guard of heaven to usher them into Paradise; even the Father, 
Gen. 1. 28. & 2. 18.  Son and holy Ghost, consenting to propagate man created, and not ceasing to create, till the woman was created: more especially, the Lord jesus himself (when he needed it not) yet would grace it, by being the Son of a married Virgin, and choosing to be Joseph's reputed Son: not to speak of that honour he cast upon it, when he did yield to do his first divine Miracle at a Marriage. 
john 2. 5.  Now that which a God of pureness ordains by a perpetual decree of pureness, in an estate of pureness, how can it choose but have an engraven character and formal nature of preciousness and honour in it? This for the second.  
The third respect is yet more for the honour of it. 
Third respect: the use of marriage.  We say it bears prick and price, which contains sweet and good, price and use in one. For why? The very pleasing pure lustre of a pearl, would make it precious of itself, though it had no virtue or quality for use in it. Marriage then is also honourable for the use of it. If the Sun be excellent for her pureness, what is it then for his influence and life, the very heat and vegetation of the Creatures? what should the world be, save a dungeon without it? And what were it but an emptiness and vanity without the usefulness of marriage? If light be so precious for the pureness of it, what is it for the useful direction of it to do the world of work which it daily affordeth? If a Prince be so honourable for his nobleness, what is he for the use, to be a Father to his People, to rule them with all godliness and honesty, to feed them in jacob and Israel? usefulness is the varnish and lustre of honour, grounding and establishing it, as colours set in oil. Now than what is equal to marriage, for the being or well being of life? I say, the being, ornament or defence of it. It's the prop of mutual content, the aid of nature, the perfection of health, wealth, beauty, learning, honour and experience, youth, manhood, old age, whereof none is sweet, where marriage supplies not the lack. It serveth not only for the necessity of generation (for how can there be warmth to one, but if two lie together, they have warmth?) but for the relief of such as are passed it, looking at the safeguard of the stock, and comfort of life? Marriage is the Preservative of Chastity, the Seminary of the Commonwealth, seedplot of the Church, pillar (under God) of the world, right-hand of providence, supporter of laws, states, orders, offices, gifts and services: the glory of peace, the sinews of war, the maintenance of policy, the life of the dead, the solace of the living, the ambition of virginity, the foundation of Countries, Cities, Universities, succession of Families, Crowns and Kingdoms; yea (besides the being of these) it's the wellbeing of them being made, and whatsoever is excellent in them, or any other thing, the very furniture of heaven (in a kind) depending thereupon.  
Fourthly, 
The fourth respect of honour, viz. the sacredness.  it's also honourable for the solemn sacredness of it; I mean not hereby spiritualness; for I know its a civil ordinance; and, although for the better witness, our Marriages are finished in Churches, yet marriage properly is no Sacrament. But I mean, that God generally hath planted a reverend esteem of it in man, and put a deep awe of it into our minds (as all those Laws do testify, which have so strictly maintained the repute of it:) but especially, that divine sanction by which pure marriage is blessed: and all that dare defile and dishonour it, the Lord threatens to dishonour and destroy them. 
1 Cor. 3. 17.  Him who defiles the Temple of God, by the pollution of this ordinance, God will also destroy. The anointing of a King, though it be not properly a divine spiritual act, yet its sacred, and the Consecration of him, an act of solemn and high reverence, most religiously obliging the Subject to all due service, 
Rom. 13. 5.  as to his liege Lord, 
Psal. 105. 15.  for conscience sake. Touch not mine Anointed, (saith God) and do my Prophets no harm: 
1 Sam. 26. 9  and therefore David trembling at Abishai his bloody motion to kill Saul, (though a tyrant) saith, God forbid I should lay mine hand upon the Lords anointed, viz. lest God should lay his hand upon him with vengeance. Even so sacred a thing is this Marriage: not in the jealousy only of revenging man (whose heart cannot be pacified with gifts, 
Pro. 6. 34.  in case of such violation which argues a sacred depth of thoughts upon such an injustice,) nor only in the punishments inflicted by humane laws thereupon (some whereof make the wronged party his own jury, judge, and executioner.) But especially the just hand of the God of marriage, going out against all offenders in this kind, against chastity (which should be kept in this sacred Cabinet) and not only against the party offending himself, but also his name and posterity. As the text itself adds, and we shall prosecute in the end of this Discourse; But, whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Sum up therefore all these respects in one, and conclude, if marriage be so solemn and precious in her parts, nature, use, and sacredness, then doubtless it is true both in the nature and use of it, That Marriage is honourable, and the bed is undefiled. So much for the opening of this first point. I come now to the Use.  
Use 1 First then, is marriage so honourable? Woe then and terror to all such, 
Terror to the dishonourers of it.  as directly or indirectly, by doctrine or practice, openly or secret, by thought, word or deed, dare violate marriage; whatsoever they are, Epicures, Papists, Protestants, unmarried men or married, do deface marriage, either really or occasionally, casting their dung upon it, they are all guilty. First, here let all Papists, Jesuits, Priests or others, with all their fomenters and adherents, tremble and be ashamed, 
Against Papists.  who have dared so many times to dishonour marriage, and so many ways to defile it. Their Clergy, forsooth, are all cut off at one blow from it, yea, though it be a Sacrament. How just is it, that such should be left to the spirit of giddiness, that they should with the same mouth be compelled to magnify that with most holiness, which yet they debar their most holy order of Priesthood from? or rather secretly confess, what a polluted order it is, which disdaineth the use of that, which (though erroneously) they call a Sacrament? The state of marriage is with these impure ones, an estate of such as live in the flesh. Better were it (saith their Champion Bellarmine, 
Papists have personal Sacraments. ) for a Priest to defile himself with many harlots, then to be married to one wife. When the trumpet gives so certain an alarm and sound of defiance to marriage, who should dare venture upon it? These children of the purple whore, scorn that their great revenues should serve to maintain the honourable offspring of marriage; therefore God leaves them to be more filthy, and to let such a filthy offspring maintain none, save the children of fornication. Marriage was honourable in the Church, not among Laymen only, but (in the old Testament) with the high Priest, and all his Tribe (which yet were typical of the pureness of Christ himself) and Moses himself, a man who was conversant with God, and spoke to him face to face, was married: after Christ, with the Apostles themselves, notwithstanding their travels, Saint Peter their grand Patron (and Paul had the same power) with the Evangelists, and many religious Bishops and Overseers of Christ's flock, from their times to many generations following. Till the mystery of iniquity, which long before had been laid as leven, and began to work, was grown at length to open Doctrine of Devils, 
1 Tim. 4. 2.  in rejecting of marriage, and practice of Devils, in playing the Sodomites and whoremongers; for generally this taint hath run through them all (if Histories may be believed) from the head to the foot. 
See our learned writers. Centur.  And although I deny not, but many votaries among them, abstain from uncleanness, some more, some less; yet their Doctrine frets like a Canker, 
2 Tim. 2. 17.  to defile and dishonour this honourable Ordinance. Away ye hypocrites, and vanish at the light and lustre of this truth! your works in secret are such, that it is a shame only to name them, the Sun blushing at them: your Cloisters of both sexes, vaults, privies, fishponds, and the like, have witnessed sufficiently (by the confession and sanction of a great Pope and Proctor of your own) what hellish abominations do swarm under the shroud and veil of your defiance of Marriage.  
How justly hath the Lord (by giving over such, 
The life and practice of Papists justly punished by God  both to sins unnatural and unlawful) disabled them of credit and ability, to dishonour that which they so abhor? so that their words against marriage, which they nickname, a living in the flesh, are no slander to it. For as the Proverb saith, Clodius accuses whoremasters, and Catiline Ceth●gus, to be a traitor. This error of theirs, never passed without contradiction, from first to last in the Church, notwithstanding their violence have brought it to this. As Saint Paul of those jews, 
1 Thes. 2. 15.  so I of these, God they opposed, and man they disregarded; hateful and hated of all men. 
Revel. 18 2.  God hath said, It is not good for man to be alone, 
Gen. 2. 18.  for snares sake. They say, it's not good to be married, 
1 Cor. 7. 1.  for Devotions sake; abusing that Text, It's not good for a man to touch a woman. As Austin said betwixt Donatus and himself, Whether of the two believe you? so say I between God and these. And, man they control; for here the text calls marriage honourable [among all] poor and rich, simple, learned, noble, base, minister, people; all men. What then are these? men, or beasts in their likeness, with women's faces, lions qualities, or rather Devils in the flesh. That which they raise up as high as a Sacrament among men, they beat down and anathematise to hell among themselves. But I leave them to the discovery of their own sect sometimes, Luther and others, who upon the experience of them, loathed them; and therefore (though at their parting Satan foamed and raged) even out of horror of conscience, departed from them. No wonder; for who could endure the society of such thiefs, as have robbed the earth of men, men of honesty, and heaven of Saints, as a learned man speaks. 
Popish magnifying of virginity confuted.   
As for their deifying of virginity above marriage (which partly they colour over with Saint Ieroms preposterous zeal against Vigilantius) let me answer with that wise town-clerk of Ephesus, 
Acts 19 35.  speaking to the tumultuous people, Who knoweth not that virginity is precious? But grant it be so. What? can it not be praised without the disgrace of marriage? Is the eye of the one evil, because the other is good? Can no oblation pacify the one, but the honour of the other depraved, and a sacrifice of the heads of married men? doth she not cut down the bow she stands on, yea break her own neck, in destroying marriage? To be sure, none are so unfit to commend or defend her, as they who confute marriage by the same uncleanness whereby they defile virginity. Virgins, I confess, have their honour, yea, those eunuchs who have made themselves spiritually so for the kingdom of God, 
Mat. 19 12.  are praise worthy. And, as that Demoniacke said, 
Acts 19 15.  jesus we know, and Paul we know, but who are ye? So we, marriage and true virginity we admire, but as for you, what, or whence are ye? If you speak a good word for it, it were meet (as they at Athens were wont in the Senate to do) to take it out of your unvirgin-like unseemly mouths, and put it into the mouth of honester persons. Praise stinks in the mouths of such as do reproach more by deeds, than their mouths can commend. As the Poet once said of the cold Poetry of them who commended fasting with their bellies full: so may I say of you, who praise virginity, yourselves having bodies debauched with uncleanness; your breath is not sweet enough for this work, nor your words strong enough, to make you believed. None but Orators can praise eloquence, nor any, save chaste virgins, single life, whether married or unmarried. One once said of the great Turk's horse, that no grass grew after where he had once trod; so, neither did ever virginity thrive upon your praises. As Locusts eat up all before them, so doth your unbridled lust; and the more, by how much its veiled with the vow of that Chastity, which becomes the greatest snare of uncleanness, to them that make it. Thus much for the first branch.  
But to leave these, 
2. Branch of terror against all prophaners of marriage.  I would also apply this truth to a second sort of men, for their dishonouring of marriage. Such I mean, as do (though not by Popish, yet) by their unclean lives and practice, deflower and disgrace this Ordinance. The most real and chief offenders in this kind, who by their manners do not only impute, but infuse (in a sort) a blot and shame into marriage, causing it to stink by their sin, which God hath honoured and blessed. And these are the successors of Hophni and Phinees, 
1. Sam. 2. 23.  whose open and shameless pollutions by whoredom and adultery doth corrupt it. A course in these days so common, that not only among the viler sort its thought nothing (for there be of the ignorant and base sort of people who are free from it) but even of them of the better fashion also (where grace rules not) of whom in the end of this Treatise I shall speak more. But besides these, how do the lives of such as live in this estate of marriage cause men to vow the grossest uncleanness, rather than they would be so married? As once an Heathen said, If this be the practice of Christians to eat their God, and to kill their King, let my soul be with the Philosophers. So say I, the base cursed life of many professors, who brawl, scold, fight, and live at defiance with each other, causes many ungodly ones to prefer a single life, though besmeared with all sorts of lusts contemplative, practical, natural, unnatural, with wives, harlots, or as they can, rather than to marry! that is to say, Let my soul be with the adulterers. I say to such married persons, stumbling-blocks and eyesores; perhaps you may be guiltless of this sin yourselves; but verily, many by your occasion, are as deeply tempted to uncleanness, as others are by the enticements of bawds and companions of harlots. Well, as odious as you are, yet is Marriage honourable in herself: you do as much as in you lieth (and shall answer for it, as well as if it were in your power) to defile it; but yet you cannot defile that which God hath enstamped with honour.  
To see some married couples, how they bring up their brats to all filthiness of manners: 
1 King 21. 25.  to see Ahabs and Iezabels both combining together in villainy: to see the woeful confusion of bad wives with good husbands, 
Sam. 25.  or them with as bad wives, 
Marriage abhorred by the base life of some couples.  drawing in a most unequal yoke: Nabals and Abigails, Moses and Zippora's; would it not cause men to stop their noses at the stinch of marriage? Should this be, if men kept the honour of marriage unstained? If they were jealous to suffer any eye to behold their unseemliness, 
Exod. 4. 25.  lest marriage should be dishonoured? To see the separation of such in the Country of all sorts, as depart from their yoake-fellowes, abandoning each other by Law, or lawless divorces, from bed, board, and affection (I mean by wilful separating themselves) would it not cause men to irk marriage? To behold varlets and monsters openly, and in the face, 
Num. 25. 6. 14  and defiance of Courts and Laws, without penance or due pursuit and punishment, to do as Zimri and Cozbi did (though with contrary success) to bring their whores and the bastards they have begotten by them, not only into their houses and under their wife's noses, but to lay them in their beds, to force them to afford them like nursery and equal terms with their own: would it not make Heathens themselves to spew us out? To see great men to relinquish and cast up their chaste and well-deserving Ladies, (whom they at first loved and sought with the greatest ambition) and to give themselves to vagrant and libidinous courses; would it not fray men from marriage, and say as they did, If the case stand so, it is not good to marry? To conclude, to see but the base Mart that is now made of marriages, how men look only at the prize and the best game, how they may take in, or put off their children, in and at the best vantage (as cattle in a market) for wealth and portion, be they never so debauched, drunkards, or light huswives; would it not provoke men to vomit such marriages? A worthy wife cannot be sufficiently prized, a man cannot tell what to ask for such a pearl; 
Prov. 31. 10.  and a bad one deserves no price, being the worst of wares: the one is above this line, the other is under it, neither aught to be bought and sold: I say, these, and other the like abuses, as the perpetual jealousies between some couples (not the worst persons, yet bad in marriage) their sinister conceits, melancholic distempers, how do they make this commodity of marriage, yea and a better too, even religion itself (which too many such profess) to be badly spoken of. But in the mean time, by these rents and disorders the innocent Ordinance hears ill; as if, by her default, such evils were committed.  
Use 3 I proceed to a second use of Admonition; and that is, to all such as shall upon trial find out their errors, 
Admonition to prevent the dishonour of marriage.  or else can entire and unstained. Sundry are the fears and griefs I know of the weaks (though religious couples) when they look back to their beginnings: some to consider how rawly they entered into this condition at first, and since having found God to be more gracious, to reclaim them home, or the husband and wife that before was a verse: yet when they also think, how unthankefully they have requited God for it, waxing light, wanton, worldly and loose; they cannot choose, but they must be in bitterness for it. Others, although they have entered into this estate with much zeal, resolution, and consent of heart, to honour God to their uttermost in it: yet alas, when they come to weigh seriously how many days, months and years are come over their heads in a most unprofitable sort; grey hairs being upon them, without any impression of fruit, and growth in good; able to say little for themselves, either for religion, walking between themselves, praying for and with each other, joint care in education of their children; yea, that they have humoured each other in their base corruptions, bolstered each other in worldliness (which hath eaten up their stock) not suffered grace to revive but to decay; serving their turns each of other, only for common and vanishing ends of their own: spent Sabbaths carnally, and little delighted in them for God's cause, fruitless in hearing, and Family duties: oh! much cause of grief must needs be to such. Be therefore admonished, slight not the care of maintaining of Religion in your marriage, with all solicitous carefulness, shunning that which might weaken it, the honour and comfort of it. Crowns of honour are tickle things; and look whatsoever it be that hath much honour put upon it, hath withal much care, anxiety and burden annexed. Beware then: scum not off the fat and sweet of the honour and content of marriage; but as for the burden and service of it, to seek God, to worship him jointly, to shun all occasions of ease, carnal occasions of jollity, unchaste company, you are loath to take the pains: surely, you shall find at last that repentance will be the best fruit of such sleghtnesse: it is strange how little this is believed at first, till experience have taught it: 
Marriage no buckler to sense ourselves in bad courses.  but men think marriage to be a buckler to fence off all blows: so long as they love one another (as they thank God, that they do heartily, though with a rotten love) that will hold them in, as the cornerstone doth the sides of an house. Others take marriage to be an estate of loose liberty, to live as they list, and therefore observe no caution, nor fear any danger, till at last they be wail their folly, when they see how by their rash improvidence, they have brought a snare of poverty upon themselves: others, an habit of pleasures and expense, till, both time, thrift, and heart be all lost and past recall.  
Others there are, who by their froward, peevish carriage have provoked each others to weariness, impatience and discontent: others, have drowned themselves in lust, and led each others by base example to follow them; and instead of complainers of each others, to be as deep in and overshooes therein as the other, thereby heaping diseases and needless sorrow upon their heads. And whereas for lack of mature regard and prevention, they have pierced through themselves with the fruit of their sin; then they cry out too late, wishing they had been wiser to keep this crown entire from stain and dishonour! Kings and Emperors have so slighted the due care of their crowns, that they have brought ruin and misery upon themselves, by running into excess of contempt: as in the example of Rehoboam we see. But when as for their loose exorbitant ways, they have come to see those sad effects which followed, they have wished their crowns again, upon condition of improving their honour with ten times more temperance and wisdom. How much more than have married persons cause to abhor their carelessness in this kind, and to bind sare, if they look to find sure; that is, to prop up the honour of this ordinance, if they will enjoy the quiet fruit of righteousness, by their good behaviour. If a Minister or Magistrate having more honour put upon them in their places than others, should carry themselves the more disdainfully, and bear themselves so upon their places, that they care for no man, nor balk any bad courses, do they look their honour should bear them out? should not God say to them, 
1 Sam. 2. 30.  Those who honour me, I will honour; but such as reproach me, I will make vile? If private persons excelling others in gifts, shall not attend to humility and fear of themselves, shall not their glory end in their shame, their gifts in barrennesle, and their profession in revolt? Even so is it here; such as care not, regard not their demeanour in marriage, both to God, themselves, and their families, by shunning offences, jealousies, loss or alienation of affections; but think it will always be honeymoon, and a merry world with them, is it not just, that their unseasonable ruins should teach them repentance too late? Therefore let all married once be warned hereby, 
Conclusion.  to be sober, heedful, advised, moderate in their affections, loves, and liberties; rather walking on this side the brink, than otherwise: always fearing a change, and saying, What if my follies breed in my wife (by God's secret vengeance) a loathing of me? a fire of contention in my bosom? a continual dropping upon my head, my content at home, my repute abroad? God keep me within such bounds of marriage ' as I first ●owed to keep at my entrance. Thus much for the Admonition.  
Next, 
Comfort to good couples, who honour marriage.  I proceed to comfort all such godly couples, as have laboured to enhanse and uphold the honour of this Ordinance. Try yourselves then; no doubt you shall meet with uncomfortable thoughts, for your manifold failings: and no doubt you think few religious marriages so ill managed, and so poorly carried as your own! the many breaches and flaws of your marriages, do cause you to mourn and complain, saying, If indeed I had so enured and acquainted myself and my wife to prayer and close worshipping of God; if I had wisdom and understanding enough to be God's voice to my wife to guide her: if I had abstained from the snares and occasions laid in my way by Satan to overthrow me and my peace; had I preserved bòth body and soul in that chastity and honour that was meet, nourishing love and amity, abhorring all occasions to the contrary, I might behold the face of God with comfort I but now my burden is increased by my errors in marriage; viz. that with a slight, heedless and regardless heart, I have carried myself in a business of such consequence; upon which the well or ill fare of my life dependeth. Well, there is no doubt, but, as in all other, so in this part of the wheel of our conversation, to wit, of marriage; we all sin many ways, and our errors are infinite. But now, sift thyself more narrowly, and leaving thy faults, examine thyself in intentions, in all the wander and swervings of thy course. 
Wants of weak and religious couples shall be pardoned.  Canst thou say, that as in all other, so in this part of thy course, thou hast sought better to be informed, what that good and accepted will of God is? 
Rome 12. 2.  and accordingly, with simplicity of heart hast quit thyself to thy companion, not for thine own base ends and ease, but that marriage might have her honour preserved, offences might be prevented, God worshipped within, and honoured without doors; a peaceable life in all godliness and honesty preserved? I ask not whether there have been staggerings, weariness of the yoke, and desire after more liberties, (for who is there that sinneth not? as Solomon said, 
1 Kings 8. ) but, I ask this; Hast thou denied thyself, and kerbed thy base heart, to stoop to God in drawing this yoke; not sought thy ease, sleshly content, letting the honour of God to sink or swim? Hast thou humbly bowed thy neck and stooped to the ordinance, acknowledging how much its changed from the first Creation, and by sin filled with sundry sorrows, distempers and bitter-sweets, hardly to be avoided? I say, hast thou under all these, abased thyself before the Lord, craved pardon of thy stout heart and proud stomach, loath to yield, and thine impotency of thy passions, desiring to testify thy obedience in bearing these annoyances, as justly inflicted for sin? Hast thou acknowledged the Lord most wise, in so ordering the matter for thee, that because thy heart is haughty and insolent, therefore he hath tamed thee by this bridle; and hath by it exercised thy faith and patience, and brought thee to the bent of his bow? so that for the avoiding of far worse snares, and for the comforts and liberties accrueing by marriage, thou canst willingly yield obedience to the rules and duties thereof, not dividing burdens from privileges? and thou canst correct all thy licentiousness in seeking sleshly content only in marriage? Surely, if in some comfortable sort thou canst speak thus in the ears of God, begging a pardon of all wants, and a release of all deserved penalties; then I say (according to infirmity) thou hast sought the honour of marriage; and to prevent the just stain and aspersions thereof by thy watchfulness; yea, thou hast sought the honour of the ordainer thereof, for thy singular comfort, which thou mightst ill have wanted.  
What remains therefore, 
Application of the comfort  but that I comfort thee from God, and encourage thee by his promise, not only against the fear of thy dishonouring God, but also towards a more hearty endeavour to honour him further? Surely, thou hast need of no less. Thy journey is long, thy obedience difficult! its not for a day or a month, but for life; it's not for a sodering up of breaches for a while, to break out so much the worse after: 
Marriage is no loose nor idle, way of service.  it's no work of an outside, to set a good face upon the matter abroad, nourishing still the disease within; God is not mocked, and sins in this kind are like oil in the hand, which cannot be hid. But this obedience is a perpetual, yet an ingenuous, humble and holy subjection to the will of the subjecter; who by it tries men, and shows them all which is in the heart: so that, I dare say, a true obedient in marriage, is a good servant in all. Therefore, as thou needest encouragement from God (as who doth not in difficult duties) so, 
Encouragement to religious couples.  take it into thy bosom as thine own, chew upon it and digest it: it's the Lords will that thou shouldest; I say unto thee, that as the Lord hath put honour upon this ordinance, so thou hast sought to maintain it, and who so honours God, shall be honoured of God. God can and will turn all the impediments and encumbrances of this estate into blessings: thou shalt find this estate made honourable to thee; thyself shalt find acceptance with God in all thy suits; success in enterprises, honour and esteem among his people: he shall crown thee with old age, and good report in the way of righteousness. Thy wife shall be a blessing, no snare; thy liberties shall be pure unto thee, and thou shalt visit thine habitation without sin, as job speaks; 
Job 5. 24.  thou shalt drenke of the stoods of milk, and butter and honey. 
Job 20. 17.  Thy children shall honour thee in the gate; and shall be thy crown in thy age; 
Prov. 17. 6.  they shall stand about thy table as olive plants; 
Psal. 138. 3.  yea, although any of them should prove irregular, yet that should not condemn thine innocency. In a word, God shall bring upon thee all the blessings promised to such as honour his ordinance, even to love thine, 
Esay 59 21.  for many generations. His word shall not be taken from thee and them for ever: 
Ezra 8 9  he will continue thee a name upon earth, 
Psal. 128. 6.  and a nail in his temple, and peace upon Israel.  
Nay, 
Miseries shunned by good couples.  I add, that thy very obedience alone in itself shall be a blessing unto thee. Dost thou preserve thy body in holiness and honour? thou shalt a void hereby those infinite woes and miseries, which befall the unchaste, as proverty, baseness, a rotten body, a worse soul, a ruined estate, both in this world and in the world to come. Dost thou nourish love and amity between thyself and thy wife, that so the peace of God thereby may the better rule thy heart and mind? Lo, how infinite many garboils and miseries thou avoydest of wrath, debate, envy, raylings, quarrelings and discontents, which bad marriage causeth. But canst thou say, that besides these ordinary duties of the married estate, 
Married couples must serve God in their time.  thou and thy wife have also closed with God in the special service of the time, and (with good Vriah and Mephibosheth) moderately used the comforts of this life, 
2. Sam. 19 24.  (during the sorrows of the Church) and been married, 
Amos 6. 6.  as if not; remembering the afflictions of joseph, making them the due and daily matter of thine Humiliations and Requests before God? 
joel 2. 16.  hast thou oft, with Ioel's Bridegroom and Bride, come out of thy feasting Chamber, 
Esay 26. 20.  to hide thine head in thy fasting chamber (as our Saviour tells us, when the Bridegroom shall be taken away, 
Luke 5. 34.  they shall mourn in those days, 
Zach. 12. 17. ) the husband apart, and the wife apart, for sincerity, or both together for fervency? Or with the Psalmist, Dost thou desire thy tongue cleave to the roof of thy mouth, 
Psal. 137. 5.  except the joy of jerusalem be above all thy joy, even marriage joy itself (which yet is allowed to be great.) Surely then, I say, thou hast honoured marriage indeed, and as thy share in the duty hath been greater, so shall it be in the blessing: 
Esay 4. ult.  The Lord shall give thee an hiding place in the day of evil, and because thou hast kept the word of his patience, 
Revel. 3.  in bad times, he shall also deliver thee in that hour of temptation, which shall come for a trial upon all flesh. He shall uphold thee in six troubles, and the seventh shall not come near thee: The floods of great waters, 
Psal. 32. 6.  with all those plagues which God hath denounced against these, shall not come near thee. Be cheerful in the Lord therefore, and still, thou and thy wife, cleave and cling to him; deny your own wills and carnal reason, and trust to his eternal strength; buckle with the work of God faithfully, 
Isai 26. 3.  and walk in his ordinance humbly, till he come; and then he shall bring healing in his wings at last; 
Malac. 3.  and in the mean time, he shall cause a voice to sound behind, saying, This is the way, walk in it: He shall order your paths, resolve your doubts, prevent dangers, and so preserve the souls of his Saints, that thousands shall fall at his right hand, 
Psal. 91. 7.  and ten thousands at your left, you going safe in the midst, and so be brought safe and well through all extremities at last. So much for Comfort, and for this first Chapter.   

CHAP. II.  
More full explication in what the honour of marriage consists (being the ground of the Treatise ensuing) viz. entrance and continuance. Entrance first, in marrying in the Lord, handled.  
BUT because there be many more uses to be made of this point, ere I come to them, I desire further to open this truth, and in particular to show what the honour of this marriage is, and in how many things it consists. Honourable we see it is, 
Quest. How may married couples attain this honour?  by that which hath been said; but the question is, How married couples may attain this honour? To which I answer, by two main duties: First, procure it: Secondly, preserve it. Procure it first, by laying the foundation of it in honour; 
Answ. By two things; first, by good entrance: secondly, continuance  for as the root is, so will the branches be, either honourable or reproachful: seek therefore to enter into that estate according to God and his rules. And then secondly, having entered well into it, manage it well also, nourish the honour of it carefully and warily, for it's no whit less virtue to keep well, then to seek aright; and many begin with great show of honour, who yet end in shame.  
Touching the former of these, 
The former part: to marry in the Lord.  there is a double rule of the word; first, to marry in the Lord: secondly, to marry aptly in the Lord. This is the ground of an honourable marriage, when as thou art content to be taught by him who first put honour upon it, to maintain it. For the former, to marry in the Lord, 
Entrance requires goodness and aptness.  is to use our uttermost discreet diligence, to seek out such companions, as (in charity and likelihood) are either already espouzed to the Lord jesus, their husband by faith; and in token thereof, sit close to him in obedience; or an endeavourer thereto; that is, such as are in a fair and hopeful way of inclining to it. These two (I confess) differ; but be ware lest thou attempt any marriage, in which neither of these can be perceived. 
To marry in the Lord, what?  To open myself a little; they that are indeed actually married to Christ, have been truly drawn to him by his Elezier's and spokesmen, by whose embassage God hath treated with them, 
2 Cor. 5. 20.  about this spiritual union, between himself and them. They have well digested the offer, 
Marks of it.  and with Abigail (when sent for to be David's wife) confess themselves to be so far from worthiness, 
1 Sam. 25.  to be his Consorts, and to taste of his marriage contents and benevolence, 
The first sight of unworthiness of this favour.  that they are unworthy even to be fellow-servants with his children, doorekeepers in his house, or to wash and wipe the feet of his household. So vile God hath made them in the sight of their own eyes; showing them by his pure Law, the baseness of that conversation of theirs, wherein they have walked (as the door always rolling one way upon her hinges) so they always living in the same vices, soaked upon their old dregs; that hereby he emptieth them of themselves, dasheth that pride and vanity which puffed them up before: so that alas, they rather think, that he is throwing them out of his presence for ever, then marrying them in faithfulness to himself. By this humiliation, 
The second: they see a reconciliation.  they come to be further acquainted with his pleasure; That even to such woeful ones, who have defiled their father's bed worse than Reuben, yea, defaced his image; yet to these most forlorn harlots and children of adulterers, he is willing to be reconciled, yea, to seek them out, 
Judg. 19 3.  as that Levite did his concubine, yea, after just cause of Divorce, 
Jer. 2. ●.  jorem. 2. 1, 2. to admit them to his bed again; themselves seeking no favour, but fleeing from him, as she from her lord 
The third; their heartsore broken hereby  By this unheard of love, he hath broken their whorish hard heart and forehead of brass, melted them into tears, to see his bottomless and causeless compassions, as Zachary in chap. 
Zach. 10. 12.  10. ver. 12. calls them: especially while they by rejecting or slighting it, yea shutting him out, and abhorring his love, deserved to have his heart hardened, and love to turn jealousy against them. And now, they consult whether they were better perish in their desolate courses, 
The fourth: they being convinced of God's ends, believe it.  or venture upon his love for a second reconciling. At length, seeing his scope to be, to get himself a name in turning an harlot's heart (as bad as Mary Magdalen) to her husband again (a thing which no man can do to an whorish wife) yea, to make her more loyal and tender to him, than she ever was ere she forsook him. I say, at length, she is convinced, and casting herself down at his feet, as one that is loath to dishonour that love which she so much abused; with a trembling and selfe-despairing heart, begins to touch the hem of his garment, to apprehend him to speak as he means, and so becomes one again with him, nearer in covenant then ever; bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh. 
The fifth: From hence they are encouraged to obey.  Striving from that second renewing of love towards him, to draw mighty encouragement and resolution, not only never to be faithless to him, in her conjugal affections any more; but also, to return the fruit of his dear love into his bosom again, to walk in all subjection to his lore and will, 
Psal. 45.  to delight in denying herself, that so she may be wel-pleasing in his sight, whether in doing or suffering for him. Thus abiding faithful to him in the uttermost service she can do, she waits patiently for his coming, that he may find her in peace and well occupied at his coming, and then make her glorious, 
Eph. 6.  and like himself, without spot or wrinkle.  
This is a short description of a spouse of Christ, 
M●●kes of a lower degree.  and a son or daughter of Abraham: and such an one (in measure more or less) is each soul married to Christ: and of such no question needs to be made, but they are (in this first respect) meet husbands and wives for each other. But lest my words prove snares to any who come short of these, and yet are loath to be debarred from marriage: I add, that there is a lesser degree of grace under this, only appearing in the seed, tender and weak; and that is of such, as (although they reach not so far) yet have their eye toward this bridegroom, 
Job 33. 23.  counting him one of ten thousand, comparing selves with such as are married to him, think themselves far inferior, wish their case were so happy; abhor their own treachery, 
Zach. 9 9  count the feet of such beautiful, as woo them to Christ, think highly of the offer, love to be such friends of the Lord jesus, 
Cant. 3.  and children of his Bride-chamber, full of tears, affections and desires after it. Even these are not to be excluded neither, there is hope of such, that they may come to be married to Christ in due time; therefore it were unequal that for mere lack of time and training, they should be rejected: rather, if better fail (in ordinary providence) there being sufficient ground to hope, that their little is in truth: I dare not deny, but a contract with such may be lawful, and the Lord may cover defects in mercy; especially if the more forward party be industrious to improve a little to a greater measure, in the other, if the weaker party be teachable, and in either of both there be a selfe-denying heart (if God cross their hopes) to lie down meekly at his feet, humbled for sin (the cause thereof) and patiently taking up and bearing their cross, till God amend it.  
By all this it appears, that Marrying in the Lord, requires good consideration; 
Reasons of this first branch  and that they who so marry, have laid the foundation of future honour beforehand. And who doubts but it had need be so? for what hope is there, that they who never sought it before, 
The first: Rash matches unblessed.  should ever light upon it after? Honour requires good breeding, and it is a stud, which except it subsist upon a good ground-cell, will soon lie in the dust. Rash and sudden attempts in this kind, do but make way for shame and reproach; only marrying in the Lord, prepares the soul for the work: it hath her tools in readiness to fall to the trade, whereas the contrary is still to seek; yea, the very method of the Apostle in this Epistle, shows no less, for he speaks of no marriage business, before he have fully opened the doctrine of faith, he lays that for the bottom, and then comes in, and tells such, their Marriage is honourable: Faith then is the hand and wheel, which must frame a vessel for honour, prepared, as for all other, so for this work of marriage. And in truth, as it is all Religion (upon point) so it is the marriage ring, which makes the soul one with the Lord; and this ring is beset with many rich jewels, all of them serving for the honour, that is, the well carrying and discharge of marriage duties. 
The jewels of the marriage ring.  One jewel is, humility and self-denial, whereby the heart is tamed and humbled to this work with all subjection, and freed from that rudeness and rebellion of spirit, 
Faith and humility.  which makes it fit for nothing but it own will and ends▪ but this grace levels it to the obedience of this ordinance. 
Peace.  Another jewel is peace, whereby the soul is so calmed and pacified within itself, in the point of pardon and God's favour, 
Ephes. 6.  that it can bear any affronts: even as the shoes or brass boots of the Soldier can walk upon rocks or pikes, and feel no hurt; so an heart well a paid in the Lord, is calm, and able to clear the coast of all distempers; and to go through discontents and crosses, such as an unquiet spirit cannot. 
Purity.  A third is purity, which cleanseth the soul of many bad humours, very unequal for marriage; self-love, pride, disdain, wrath, heartburning, jealousies and conceits, and makes a man much fitter for marriage. A fourth (the last which I will name) is righteousness; 
Righteousness.  that is, the fellowship with Christ's holy nature, by which the soul partakes the properties of Christ, qualifying it with wisdom, influence, strength, meekness, patience, holiness, cheerfulness, long-suffering and compassion; which graces, as they make him a meet head and husband for the Church, so they make married couples meet heads and helpers for each other. Faith, I say, doth draw from Christ all such abilities and graces, as may prepare the soul to all the services which the marriage estate calls for. Even as the spokes or staves of the wheel strengthen it, for the good motion of it, so doth faith strengthen this great master-wheel of conversation, which is Marriage.  
Reas. 2 Again, except the honour of Marriage be forelaid in the entrance, 
Trials of mriage many.  when the mind is free and impartial, how should it be like to be provided for in marriage itself? Alas! marriage hath her handsful of trial, what grace is already wrought in the soul, marriage will find a gracious heart work enough at the best; for it i● given to exercise grace. It is not given to work grace (without singular mercy do occasion it) but to exerci●e it; for what abundance of other distractions do there fall out in this estate, which (as the Apostle tells us) keep off the soul from sitting close and comely to God? 
1 Cor. 7. 35.  The necessity of marriage-occasions are such, as compel the parties each to please other, in the matters of this life. So that, except single persons have well bethought themselves, and fitted themselves with a stock to live upon, they will find it an hard thing to act a true part on this stage upon the sudden: rather they are like to find (except God alter it) marriage to pull them from God, to carry their spirits to worldliness, unsettledness, cares, fears, temptations, lusts, sometimes on the right hand, by baits, to carnal ease and jollity; and otherwhiles on the left, to snares and distempered passions, of anger and impatience, neither of which extremity favours religion, but kills and damps it; taking up all the time and leisure of the soul, from attending the best things, or at least causing it to attend them lesser; as good never a whit (as we say) as never the better.  
Reas. 3 Besides these reasons, what hope have we, that when we forsake God's way, 
God is seldom found out of his own way.  he will be found of us, in ours? How just is it for him to forsake us, and give us over to our own by-ends and respects in our marriages, and to suffer us to defile ourselves more and more, that as we entered badly, so we should live worse, and end worst of all? As Paul saith, 
2 Tim. 3. 3.  The wicked wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived; so may the Lord plague ungodly marriages by themselves, and scourge them with their own whip; so that the husband should be deceived with the bad qualities of the wife, and she by his; one defiling the other more, and neither doing any good to the other. We see it thus daily, unclean men do but teach their wives their trade, that they might match them in their kind; carnal, proud and bad wives draw their husbands to the like evils, one must please another by concurring with their humours, and all for a penalty upon such as slighted God's ordinance, to marry in the Lord: that so the thing they sought might be a snare unto them. True it is oftentimes, the Lord order it otherwise (for the elect shall be brought home by one mean or other, be they never so ill married) the Lord can turn poison into a medicine, if he please, and sin to good. But it is ever best, to seek God in his way: the question is not what God can do, but what he doth, or will do ordinarily. Sure it is, ordinarily, these doubtful, irreligious and clandestine matches, are as basely carried, as entered upon; repentance itself being hard to get for the sin at first● much less amendment of errors, but rather an hardened heart, an unsavoury going throughstitch, swallowing up much sorrow, and none to pity them that pitied not themselves, in hasting sorrow upon them.  
Reas. 4 Lastly, marriages are full of disproportions. Now religion is fittest to level and equal them of all other: 
Grace levels all disproportions.  I confess it to be the way of God, that such equality as possibly can be attained, should be in this condition, as of years, education, disposition, breed, estate, and the like (as in the next point shall appear.) But what is more common, than disparity in all? young are married to old, rich to poor, untaught to well trained, harsh to amiable, and the like. How shall this be leveled? Surely no way, except religion compound it. I do not always say it can; for Religion itself hath no warrant to enter upon unequal marriage, howbeit, if it be so, religion can best set all strait and even, or else nothing can. It is not her wealth, which can procure content with a profane, froward wife; it is not a good nature which will purchase love to a wasteful, improvident, wanton woman; that plaster is not broad enough for the sore. No outward compliment can ease or level an inward unequalness; only grace can do it, if it may prevail. Grace will say thus, Thy wife was but poor, but she is loyal, chaste, wife, provident, saves her portion in seven years: that which makes her thus, shall go for her portion. Thy husband is but a plain man, hath no great learning, is none of the sweetest tempers, but harsh and rough: But religion shining through these clouds, makes the best of an hard bargain: both of them, perhaps, are passionate and sudden, but because God's bridle is presently in their mouth, their wants are the easilier endured. And, as I say this of marriage in general, so in particular of second matches; wherein, either encumbrances by former marriage, children, or the world frowning, or suspicion of fraud either way; or, in a word, unsuitable success to expectation; if in the throng of these, religion step not in, to mediate and moderate the controversy, how endless may the breaches be?  

Objections and doubts answered.  But for all this, Truth cannot want cavils or queries: for first, do we not (say some) see very many couples do very well, who never observed any such strict course, but happed by better chance, then good skill upon one another? I answer: you have lighted so, perhaps rather in a negative way, that you are free from many evils which pester others, then in an holy positive way of grace: or if so, it's rather a lot of mercy, than any good forecast of your own: if it be as you wish, thank God who hath borne with your sinful tempting of his providence, and swerving from his way: howbeit, one swallow makes no summer, neither ought it to prescribe a precedent unto others: ten miss where one hits well. And secondly, I say, all honour and success in marriage, must not be esteemed by outward league and peace together; 
1 King. 21. 25.  Ahab and jezabel accorded, but how? in mutual combining for wickedness and idolatry. Still swine eat up all the draff sometimes: and, if outward peace, attended with wealth, ease and welfare, cannot hinder a profane heart, contempt of the Ordinances, Sabbaths and ways of God, what advantage is it for a good marriage? But it is objected, put case, that God converts them to himself? I answer, his mercy is the greater, but yet so free, that it cannot certainly be rested upon. The grace of God which turns all to their good, whom he hath eternally loved, must be no pretext for sin.  
Object. 2 Again, others come in and cavil; tush, what need you be so nice, grace may come in due season, no time past, and when it comes it never comes amiss? I answer: grace is precious at all times, after marriage as well as before, if a man were sure of it; but what ground have any to presume of it, without some word for it, much more being against it? God may be patient, and say, No time past: but neither is he tied to it; and besides, they that tempt him, are most unlike to speed well. Walk in his way, and then indeed, no time past: God may, yea, and will convey his grace to a poor soul that waits for him.  
Object. 3 But its further objected; the best (by their leave) have failed in their godly attempts, and found worse wives than they sought. I answer: yet, they may have peace in this, that they have sought God to the uttermost: he hath hidden himself from them in this particular, as the Prophet said to the Shunamite: 
2 Kings 4. 27.  but they have peace in their endeavour, and therefore have no cause to give God over, but to hang upon him still, to find mercy in another way, that is, in the bush burning and not consumed: that is, that by your prayers, God hath reserved mercy for them, and means to grace their enterprises at last, doing that for them in marriage, which he did not before. If the Lord please to hear them at last, it shall be well; and to such this free grace of his belongs, who though they have been disappointed a while, yet it is in their obedience, and so includes an hope of further audience and supply from heaven. But I conclude, if any careful ones have yet miscarried; surely, ten times more have done so for lack of it.  
Object. 4 But many religious ones may have perilous qualities, and so dishonour marriage. 
Luk. 23. 31.  Answ. If this be done in the green tree, what shall be done in the dry? what shall become of such as without restraint, 
Mat. 12. 35.  even out of the abundance of their evil heart, bring forth such fruit with full purpose? Add to this, their evil qualities come not from religion, but because they are not religious enough to bridle and mortify their lusts. It's because they drown the power of their religion in their own sensuality and will; detaining the truth in unrighteousness: 
Rom. 1. 13.  and no doubt such would be much worse, if religion did not now and then step out to moderate.  
Object. 5 But if you tie us to such strictness, to marry only in the Lord, what shall become of those persons that are not in the Lord. I answer. Take you no thought for them, take thought rather, how (in the swarm of such) you may shun them, and light upon such as are the Lords. As for these, you shall not need to take thought for them; our rules will not much hinder their marriages, like will to like, do we what we can, and the dead will bury the dead, 
Luke 9 60.  the world will love their own, and that to their mutual sorrow; and all to teach us to love such the rather whom the Lord loveth. 
1 Cor. 5. 10.  What have we to do to judge them that are without? no, we speak to no other but the willing people, Psal. 110. 3. who will stand to be judged at God's bar.  
Object. 6 But I have cast mine affection already upon such an one, and am snared. Answ. Then forbear a while, till all means be tried for the parties bettering, and so venture upon them. Object. 
Instan.  But I cannot so far deny myself. Answ. Thank yourself, God forceth no such necessity upon any, if they will be ruled. If not, their snaring themselves with a needless necessity, cannot make Gods command of no effect. If you can make to yourselves such a necessity, as must break a charge of God, then try how well you can endure the fruit of it, when sorrow, repentance and shame shall come upon you, 
Pro. 24. 34.  as the necessity of an armed man. Is not as good reason, that you digest this gobbet, as that the Lord digest the other? yes surely.  
Object. 7 But when all is done, perhaps we shall miss of our choice desired, because there are so few to be found, in this woeful barren world, of such as be religious, and those who are but merely civil are counted puritans, and those precise whose manners are not debauched. Answ. Set not God's providence and his command together by the ears; as if he charged you to marry only in the Lord, and yet debarred you from it in practice; so that either you must be forced to marry with all sorts, or else must not marry at all. No: God puts no such snare upon any: look you to yourselves, that you be such as you go for, and the Lord will not deceive you; he hath good in store for the good. It's one of heavens works to make good marriages: 
2 Cron. 19 11.  and he who hath bad women in store for sinners, that they may fall by them; he hath also good ones for the good, 
Eccles. 7. 26.  that they may honour marriage and him thereby: yea, and he hath wisdom, discerning of spirits, of the subtle shows and guizes of all sorts, both hypocrites and other bad ones, so that (as subtle as the world is) they who loathe to be cheated by their dice-play, 
Ephes. 4. 14.  shall not want wisdom to judge, and savour to relish the good in the midst of the bad; they shall hear a voice behind them, 
Esay 30.  saying, This is the way: and withal, giving them an ear to hear, and an heart to obey, and walk therein.  
Object. 8 But to conclude, we have met (say some) with good companions, by providence, yet still are we letted; for our parents and friends (at least of one side) will not consent. I answer: perhaps you seek among the good, and find better than yourselves, for some sinister end, the beauty or the portion of the party; otherwise unworthy to speed: and what wonder if a wise parent will not consent to bestow his child upon you? But ye object: yes both of us being both religious and consenting, yet parents cross us. I answer: If indeed it be so, tarry till I come to the next Chapter, and there I shall fall into that argument of the parents duty, and therefore I will not prevent myself. We have answered Objections enough, and more will occur after, enough therefore is said here. Let us hasten to some Use of the point, wherein more satisfaction will be given to other questions.  

uses of the point.  First, this is terror and reproof to the marriages of this degenerate age; wherein this duty of marrying in the Lord is cast off at large. 
1. Terror and reproof.  As Rehoboams yonkers carried that weighty business of his Kingdom, 
Bran. 1.  and overthrew it: so do the unruly and rebellious humours of most youth miscarry this. 
P●opnane scorners to m●rry in the Lord, terrified.  They knit and combine themselves together, as if they were right grave Counselors, wiser than their parents and ancients, disdaining that any should overrule their rash and rebellious appetites; 
1 Kings 12. 10.  and so with rash resolutions and fury of undeniable passions, they rush themselves upon the pikes of eternal misery. If once their parents be dead, than most of these hotspurs have made sure enough, for the honour of marriage: for by that time they come of years (if not before) most of them have embezeld their patrimonies. But if not, yet in this point of marriage this is their resolution▪ Give me her, 
Ju●g. 14▪ 3.  for she pleaseth me well: (she may please well for a moment, 
Josh 23. 29.  though she be a prick in the eye, and a goad in the side for ever after.) And so for a vanishing content, to a vain humour, what do such, but enthrall themselves to a wanton, wasteful and wilful ungodly companion? And as the Heathen said of a bad bargain, it vexes the foolish buyer more with the continual upbraiding, than the loss of the money, so may I say of this: and as Samson found this at leisure, for the wilful mind he bore to have Delila: so do these. But alas! there is no season for such as he was, to believe it (being intoxicate with the cup of enchantment, disabling them from taking better counsel.) But why then speak I this? Surely, because I see religion among young couples, for the most part, is the first of those respects which are last thought of. Desperate and stolen waters are sweetest to such; 
Prov. 9 17.  like those of the Benja●ites, who rushing into a company of dancers, 
Jedg ult.  in their jollity, snatched up each man his wife, as she came to hand, prove well or ill, for better for worse: for why, they sought wives, not good ones, and that any way, so they had them. What a merry world were it for our debauched drunken youth in these our days, if they might choose their wives in such a lottery. To catch (among a drove) each one his own marrow pellmell: o● what a brave thing were it? There is a pleasure in doing that which is forbidden, to our cursed nature, even because it is so: and if it were not so, they would die upon a sword's point, ere they would attempt it. And notwithstanding the woe of such marriages, both against God's word, law of reason, consent of parents, yea, the general experience of such as are gone before them; yet, who may speak to such? Surely such matches are made in hell, like are fallen upon like by the Devil's spokesmanship: as I confess, better one house troubled with such, then two. But what a sad thing is it to think, what a cursed posterity such are like to hatch: I say such, as whereof one or two might poison an whole neighbourhood? 
As Gen. 6. 2, 3  Druken meetings, marriages, revel, Marquets, Fairs, Taverns and Alehouses, being the places wherein such choose their companions. But of this enough.  
A second sort coming here to be reproved, 
2. Branch of terror.  are not so debauched as these, and yet reproved for their carelessness to marry in the lord 
Marriages with them that are only civilised, unsafe.  Many, not grossly profane, yet because but civil, trusting to their wit and policy alone, thinking themselves secure enough, although they go not so spiritually to work, as to marry in the Lord, are to be taxed by this doctrine. So long as they can marry morally, such as are free from gross crimes, uncleanness, riot, alehouse-haunting, and the like: such as are of a sweet carriage, fashionable, and complete, brought up well to a pleasing and outwardly graceful behaviour; especially, if there be any means to live competently in the world, good husbandry and housewivery; oh, they think their choice is excellent; yea, when children themselves stagger for conscience sake, at such offers, yet their parents are earnest for the match, and vex themselves to see their children so precise. And indeed no wonder, when Morality (in these times) is counted preciseness. And yet, tell me, what odds is there between those Benjamites I spoke of, 
Gen▪ 6. 1.  and those children of God marrying the daughters of men, the posterity of Sheth with idolaters? what woeful imps proceeded from such a mixture? And the truth is, even such as profess religion are grown to make such matches without any check. The common question now, not only among great ones, or among profane ones, but even among the ordinary sort, and such as profess religion, is, What shall she have? What is she worth? What jointure can he make? 
Psal 4. 8.  who will show us any good? As if men were selling of cattle in a marquet? Not thus; What is the woman? how brought up? how qualified with knowledge, love of God's Church, meekness, modesty, or other fruits of faith and the spirit? which yet are the only ornaments of wealth and beauty, yea, more in price with God, than all they possess, who inquire so little after them. But by that time, some of these, by had example, and for want of the fear of God, grow to be bad companions, others uncleanness, others spendthrifts, and the like; then their parents (who so shunned religious ones before) can wish they had matched them with religious ones too. But it's just that they pierce themselves through with cares, who seek religion out of season, rather out of their own ends then for herself. Hence it is, that such solemn marriages in the world, as begin with great hopes and honour; yet within a few years turn to misery, beggary, imprisonment, defiance of each other to the pit of hell. Why? Surely because they sought other things as chief, money, and beauty, and the like, but not religion; just it is with God to forsake them and leave them destitute, not only of that they sought not, but also of that which they over-chiefly cove●ed. Not to speak of those base and wicked shifts, which some of them are faint to come to, as flattery of their betters, unclean relations, banquerupt-like ways, to borrow what they can, and leave men in the lu●ch. Ill marriages are one cause of banquerupts, though not the only; for many streams there are, that cause this bank to overflow so excessively now a days. So much of this.  
Thirdly, 
Branch 3.  this is reproof, and that of two sorts: first, such as whereof neither party is religious: 
Reproof.  secondly, whereof only either of the two is such. Touching the former, we see a woeful pattern of Ahab and jezabel, 
Of such in which either party is bad.  of whom neither was better (though perhaps the one less ill) but conspired together, and set forward each other to mischief. And indeed so it commonly falls out, 
1 Kings 21. 25  that if both be bad, the woman proves the went. It's much what, in this sex, as in the inferior natures of creatures, 
cap. 21. ver. 7.  the she-bear, Lioness or Wolf, is the most savage and fierce: so here, the impotency and unbridelednesse of the sex, makes her more subject to rage, unrighteousness, revenge and wickedness than a man: not to speak of the natural perswasivenesse of such, incensing to evil forcibly, ever since Eve tempted Adam. I●zabel provoking Ahab to be far worse than himself, 
1 Kings 21. 7.  by saying, Art thou now King of Israel? and liest thou upon thy bed as a fool? Com●, and I will give thee the vineyard of Naboth, etc. The corruption of best is worst; and when she who by her kind, should have been the most modest, becomes bold, she commonly keeps no bounds of immodesty. Two are better than one (saith Solomon) and woe to him that is alone: 
Eccles. 4. 9  but here we may sadly invert the words, and say, One were better than two; 
Judg. 11. 38.  and woe to those couples who are both bad: better had it been for such to have lived in the mountains, to bewail their virginity, yea, to dwell with the foxes and wild beasts, in extreme solitariness (where no other than misery can be looked for) then to enter into an hoped condition of welfare, to double and treble their own sorrows, sin and judgement; making each other much more the children of Satan then before. 
Mat. 23. 15.   
And verily, it is the usual destiny of the most Families, to be pestered with such couples, whereof neither is religious, but both rude and profane, and studying who should excel the other therein. If the one dare lie, the other dare swear to it: if the one slander, the other will avow it; if one be bad, the other will be worse. And this pleaseth him that brought them together, on life; that by their vying and outvying each other in evil, they should approve their thank and service unto him: joining to moral sins, the omitting or despising of God's worship and Ordinances within doors or without, as Word, Sacrament, prayer and duties. Alas! put case that bad couples are not combined in open ungodliness and malice, but only in a mere, civil, form●ll and sapless religion, keeping of Sabbaths barrenly, or mutual complacence in each other, for the raking up of money, making great portions for their children, ill brought up, and like to spend it as prodigally, and mock them for their labour (as one lately did, who after his father's death, having found out his hoard of money, 
A villainous speech.  cried out, Oh faithful drudge!) and so waste it out in bravery and fashions, pride and pomp of life. Or put case they live in a mere harmlessness of course, spending out their days in working, eating, sleeping, neither doing good nor gross evil, welcoming and visiting neighbours, living courteously (wihch I confess is the best of such) yet alas! what a miserable life is this in comparison of the true gain and sweet of a marriage religiously carried? But yet the worst is behind.  
For why? 
Admonition to such.  rarely do we see couples thus married to repent themselves of their course; but wanze away like shadows, except they die like beasts, without sense; and even as they have entered basely, and lived worse, so the last act of their life is worst, and they die impenitent. Oh then! in God's fear, let me speak unto you, and be admonished ere it be too late, (ere either the one of you be swept from the other, or both to destruction,) to consider your sin at the first, humbling your soul for it, and much more for the long thread of your former course, which you have spent amiss. And if neither of you will at all profit, by either word or works of God, while you live together, but go on hardened in your mutual wickedness; yet when God shall separate the one from the other, by death, crying out lamentably of his or her sinful course; oh, let the survivor be yet gastred out of his den, and with that third Captain of fifty, cry out to God, and say, Although thou hast parted us Lord, and my companion be dead in sin, yet let my life (I pray thee) be precious in thy sight: 
2 Kings 1. 13.  unsettle me from those lees upon which I am settled, (for want of rolling) that I may break off my long profane, fruitless conversation, and seek thy face, and recover myself, 
Psal. 39 13.  ere I depart and be seen no more! Oh! it were better (I grant) if the Lord were so pleased, that as both of you have been partners in sin, and one corrupt flesh; so you might both together repent, and become one spirit in the Lord, both of ye might be roused by his terrors out of your dead sleep; that the one being humbled, might gaster his fellow, and say, husband, wife, seest thou not that God's hand is out against us, and his wrath is upon us; we are under all adversity, our bodies, souls, children and affairs, nothing prospers: oh, we have made use a long time each of other, for the devil's vantage, 
job 20. 11.  till our bones be full of the sin of our youth: except we return in time, God will be avenged on us, and send us to our place and long home of misery: Alas! we have never honoured marriage, as other holy couples have done; its strange patience that yet we are on this side hell: let us now join together, and turn to the Lord, that if possible, all may be forgotten and forgiven. Oh! happy you, if ever you should live to see that day! happy your poor children and family, whose souls you should snatch out of the fire, and be instruments of pulling them out of that misery unto which you have bred them. But I forbear.  
But there is a fourth sort of marriages, 
Branch 4.  whereof either party only is religious. 
Admonition to the religious married to the irreligious Bran. 1.  These also are to be humbled for their ungrounded attempt, the one for venturing upon an irreligious yoke-fellow; the other for irreligious entrance. Zachary and Elizabeth are commended, 
Luk. 1. 6.  that they were both just; therefore it is a stain to such marriages, as wherein either party is good, 
1 Sam. 18. 27.  the other opposite to it. Example whereof we have in Scripture; 
1 Sam. 25.  David and Michal, Nabal and Abigail, job and his wife. 
Job 1▪ 8, 9  The Lord who forbade to sow one field with divers seeds, 
D●●●. 22. 11.  or to wear a garment of linsey-wolsey, much more abhors that the marriagebed should be defiled with persons of divers religious; 
2 Cor. 6. 15.  for we know no opposition is so strong, as that which is spiritual; and how then should there be amity and love, where the seeds of greatest enmity abide? What a tempting of God is it, to draw the yoke of God with one that draws in the yoke of the Devil? O● (as Paul speaks in the like case) What fellowship is there between Christ and Belial, the believer and the infidel? what is such an union, save a monster compounded of divers natures, by an adulterous mixture? What a noisome thing were it for a lively and healthy body to walk with a dead carcase bound to it, back to back? How long could it continue? how should it avoid putrefaction? as appeareth by the manner of that punishment, in some cases inflicted, among the Heathens; as that image of Nabuchadnezzar, which had the body made of metals, 
D●n 2 32.  and the feet of clay, could not abide long without dissolution; so neither can that temper which consists of such contraries. And hitherto add that (which one well observeth,) that when good and bad join together, seldom is the worse bettered by the good, but often the better is marred by the worse party. The brown bread in the oven will be sure to fleece from the white, not that from it. How can it otherwise be, in this so near a knot of marriage? since it's seldom seen, but it's so in all other fellowships? when the one party is patient, devout, meek, sober, a lover of the Word, conscionable in Sabbaths, and the use of means; the other careless, froward, unchaste, intemperate and profane? what a corrasive must the one needs be to the other? and instead of an helper, 
Prov. 19 13.  what a continual dropping? was it a savoury thing (think we) to job to hear his wife bid him Curse God and die? 
Job 2. 9 12.  himself being so armed with patience, as to say, Shall we receive good things of God, and not evil?  
When David danced before the Lord, and in the height of zeal brought home the Ark of God, was it a pleasing thing to hear Micol to call him fool for his labour? 
2 Sam. 6. 23.  and although they are not so gross as to scoff at their husbands or wives, yet what a cross is it, to have such lying in our bosoms as are of a divers mind? what complaint is so usual in these days as to hear the complaints of good husbands, of ill wives, and wives of husbands, through this desparity? Some making their moan for the churlishness, straightness, maliciousness, restraint from use of means; others, for other eyesores, of which sort unequal marriages are infinitely fruitful? So rare are those couples, of whom it may be said, They draw mutually and equally in one yoke; 
Luk. 1. 6.  as Zachary and Elizabeth, both just, diligent hearers, zealous worshippers, lovers of God, of good men, and the like! And hence it is, that there is oftentimes little difference between those families in which both be bad, and those in which only either party is good; because commonly the better party makes himself but a prey to the other. Religion must always be the disadvantage of the party, and the irreligious must bear the chief sway: 
Luke 15. 28  even as the elder brother will domin●●e over the younger, because of his birthright; so, the better party must ever look to be the underling. As we say or a syll●●●●●●, 〈◊〉 the conclusion ever followeth the weaker 〈…〉 Ala●! where both parties are as they ought, how 〈…〉 is done? ●o many cro●●es, businesses of the world, debts and temptations by sin and Satan come between, that even the comfort of such marriages goes near together: what good is like to be done, when the one is always thwarting the other, in the duties of the family, or lesser occasions? I say, when the maine is crazy, how shall the rest be sodered? But enough of these.  
To pass therefore to another sort of couples: 
Branch 2.  how many husbands are of this rank, disaffected to their religious wives, and yet for some by-respects and ends of their own, will tolerate them in their profession of religion, and use of means? But alas! full ill is it against their wills, if by any counsel, benefit or persuasion they could be withdrawn from it, how glad would they be? 
Diverters of their wives from religion to other matters, reproved.  Nay, if they could divert their affections from this way to any worldly way of feasting, jollity and companionship, how much rather would they choose to be at double or treble cost to maintain it, rather than at a single one, to nourish the other? So that, if they permit them not their religion with gibing and jeering them openly, yet with a secret disdain. If (say they) our wives will needs be precise, let them: why? Is it because you love it in them? No: for than they should have your company, and you would be like them: (whereas now you suffer them by a kind of connivance, winking at them, and looking between the fingers:) But why? perhaps they being men of a more indifferent and gentle nature, and convinced by the secret grace which breaks out in their wives, 
Connivers only at the religion of their yoke-fellows, not approvers thereof, taxed.  which they cannot smother; and now and then (especially in the time of their fear of death) acknowledging their state to be better than their own: besides, beholding sundry graceful qualities in their wives, which tend to their own honour and credit in the opinion of others, beholding them to be in esteem with some of their betters; and themselves accepted the better for their sakes: sometimes also stirred in conscience to desire they were as they are, 
Commenders of religion in their wives for others respects, not for religion, blamed.  though when their pangs be over, their lusts do again surprise them: I say, by such second motives many men (not being Nabals and base blocks) being persuaded better of their wives, than others are; as se●ing their estates to be the more prosperous, by their frugal housewifely, and wise managing thereof; they grow more indifferent toward them, and especially their persons and sweet innocent behaviours gracing them in their eyes, And by such means, many women unequally yoked, live at better terms than others do.  
But alas! 
1 Pet. 3. 1.  how few of such husbands are drawn to God (as the Apostle saith) by the conversation of the wives, or wives by such husbands? but put it off with a trick; you see (say they) what our wives affect, they must have their wills, we must not cross them, for then all were out of order; let them alone and run their course, as poor silly women may do: but as for us, who are wiser, and have greater affairs to look after; 
1 Cor. 1. 25.  we must play the good husbands at home, and hold in matters together. 
1 Cor. 7. 16.  Well, take heed you wise fellows, lest you be taken in your own snare, 
Luk. 10. 42.  beware lest God pull ye not down from that pride and jollity, 
Scorners to be drawn by their wife's religion, faulty.  by which you look over religion, as a mean thing, under your worth and employment. The wisdom of man is but foolishness with God, and when the glory of this world shall be abased, and bid you farewell, than God's matters will bear some price, and Mary's portion may hap to be wished. Oh therefore (as Paul saith) what knowest thou, O man, whether God have appointed thy wife to occasion thy conversion? Oh, its death to many a bad man, to think, that a woman should bear stroke or sway with him in the cause of God? they will not yield so far, as to grace their wives with such a victory? It's well, if her ornament prove not her greatest detriment, and she have not much sour sauce to digest her sweet meat. But as for following her steps to heavens, oh! it were too great honour to the wife? well, you shall wish you had esteemed it your own greatest honour! Mean time, the greater shall her thank be with God, by how much her religion hath cost her the setting on: if she suffer not her zeal and grace to quail by any discouragements, till she see better things at last, after her long patience, to be wrought in her husband. Oh thou unequal husband! art thou content to pocket up all the commodities and contents of a good wife, and to take all which religion affords thee in thy wife, for thine own ends, never looking whence this mast falls? wilt thou love the daughter thrift, modesty, subjection, sobriety, teaching of thy children, and carest thou not for the mother, religion, which bred them all? How base is it to love the effect, and to dislike the cause? to desire that these good qualities were in a wife without religion, rather than by them to behold the beauty thereof? Take heed, resist not the light, stop not your eyes from beholding that Sun whose beams you are so much beholding too.  
I conclude this fourth branch (being a very material one) with an admonitory caveat to such persons, 
Counsel for such as draw in an evil yoke Gen. 41. 9  whose wisdom will be (as I take it) to make a virtue of a necessity, either in drawing the backward party to a better pass, or themselves to a more patient bearing of their burden. 
1. Rip up thy state to God.  First therefore, let such say with Pharao's Butler, I remember my sin this day, 
2. Redeem old errors, and pray for pardon  the sin of rash entrance into marriage, my sensuality and yielding to mine appetite, without consulting with God. These and other sins of thy youth, open before God, that he may cover them. Redeem thy former neglect by present diligence, in humbling thy soul, and praying to God for pardon; it is never out of season to do so, if the fruit be not as thou desirest, yet it shall be some supply of thy want of good marriage, and an ease of thy sorrow. As for thy companion, pour out thy soul to God for him, as Abraham for Ishmael, 
Gen. 17. 18.  Oh that he might live in thy sight! If conscience move thee not, yet let self-love do it, for thou art like to enjoy the good. And with spiritual means, join suitable practice, commend whatsoever is praiseworthy in thy companion (for the worst have some good parts) that it may appear, that thou art loath to bury good under the clod of evil, and wouldst be glad to commend for somewhat: for so God himself doth, 
Deut. 5. 28.  Deut. 5. 28. etc. infirmities pass by, and mark not (for who speaks of a scar, when the body is crooked? 
3. Pass by ordinary faults. ) grosser evils so observe, as waiting thy season to reprove them, and that with all mercy and meekness, lest thou exasperated instead of mending; join especially a convincing and winning conversation, for this glass will say more than all thy words; 
1 Pet. 3. 1.  nay (if Saint Peter may be believed) more than the word itself sometimes. And they are no men nor women, whom such a carriage will not win in time. But put case God still answers not thy desires: fret not against thy lot (which is God's providence) nor by comparison of worse folks better success. 
4 Fret not at thy lot.  But possess thy soul with patience, bear this indignation a while, 
Luke 21. 19  till the evil be overpast; thou drinkest of no other cup, 
Esay 26. 20.  then that which thou hast filled for thyself. Moderate such pangs and melancholic passions of discontent, as do attend such a condition, and be not froward with the froward, knowing that the Devil is seldom outshot in his own bow. Especially thou woman (if it be thy lot) beware of it, let not fly against either marriage or procurers thereof, lest religion bear the reproach of thy folly. 
Luke 5. 40.  No man puts new cloth into old garments, lest the breach be worse. 
5. Conceal grievances so long as is possible.  And (if I might advise) I would wish such rather to conceal their grievances, then to open them much, especially to strangers: and it requires great wisdom to do it to any, most of all with ripping up all grievances before witnesses: for hereby, as secrets become reproaches, so, that which might have been healed, is quite made incurable, by over-deepe search and exasperating. However the issue prove, 
Heb. 12. 13.  wax not desperate, still hope; the name of the Lord is a strong tower, 
Prov. ●8. 10.  the righteous flee to it, and are preserved. Thou art not alone in thy grief, live by that faith whereby job, Abiga●l, others lived & do live, and thou shalt see what end the Lord shall make; keep still thy humility, 
Prov. 10. 29.  care and diligence: The way of the Lord is straight to him that walketh uprightly, though there were no other. 
6. Justify not thy own errors, by others  Above all, beware of justifying thy base heart, under colour of thy companions more apparent sinfulness: play not the hypocrite, as many do, who promise great matters, if free of the cross, who yet being set at liberty, discover themselves to be wanton, worldly and carnal: sometime stumbling at the same stone which before gave them a fall, and becoming worse in good marriages than they were at the first in bad. And thus much for this first Use, with the Cautions thereof.  
Use. 2 The second Use is Instruction: teaching us by comparison to esteem and judge what is the most excellent object for the married to behold in each other. 
Instruction.  And that must needs be sound religion; 
What the best object of the married is.  very heathens could say so of their virtue, that she is desirable for herself: how much more we of this? No other things are so; they have their desirednesse, 
1. Respect.  yet for that they are in order serving to better ends, rather than for aught in themselves. And as wisdom itself usually in Scripture is spoken of in this kind, that she is better than Rubies, 
Job 28. 18.  the Topaz, the treasures of the East, no gold is like her: 
Prov. 8. 11.  so is a good woman furnish● with this grace, more precious than all pearls. Even as also an husband is: birth, education, means and wealth, greatly conduce to a completeness and contentment of marriage: but as for making it happy and honourable, they reach it not: only religion can do that. They are as the second sort of worthies of David, which attained not to the first. Many daughters have done well, 
2 Sam. 23. 19  but thou hast the birthright, and surmountest them all. There is an honour of compliment, and there's an honour of substance: the former may stand in externals; the latter only in religion. Salomon's words will express the point; 
Prov. 19 22.  That which is desirable in a man is his goodness: no man is praised for that which is out of him, but for that which is within him. 
2. Respect.  Secondly, there is no comparison betwixt the graces of the mind, with outward abilities; for the one is of absolute necessity, the other not. It being not absolutely necessary, that a man should be well bred or wealthy: but its necessary that he be religious: without the one he may live, and maintain the honour of marriage (though in the other there is usefulness) but without the other he cannot. 
3. Respect.  Lastly, in respect of the absence of either: better want a pound of the one (if want must be) than a dram of the other. Wealth and parts will not recompense the lack of religion (for they are under it in their kind:) but she can supply theirs with an hundred fold. The conclusion is, learn we to settle our judgements solidly upon this truth; that so our eye be not bleared with the false and erroneous opinions of the world; which (as in all other respects, so) in this point, forsake the rule of God, for vain shadows and emplinesse; and having embraced them all their life time, seeking in the creature, that which is not there to be had: (for as apparel cannot feed, nor meat cloth, nor any thing exceed his own sphere; so neither can beauty reach beyond that is in her, nor riches above that is in them:) they cry out at last, taught by experience of fools, we have lost the body for the shadow, embraced vanity and forsaken mercy: 
Jonah 2. 8.  All is vanity! So it was at the first, but you saw it not.  
Use 3 Thirdly, let this admonish us, to shun all delusions and errors in this kind, 
Ad monition against some errors herein.  which might destroy the honour of marriage. Imagine not, that profit and pleasure can do the work of honouring marriage. 
The first.  An Heathen could say, These are but by-respects in a lower contract of friendship: how much more here? when sweet and profit are once worn off, as the nap from the fine cloth, nothing remains behind save thred-barenesse: as when the leves are blown off the rose, nothing is left save the prickle. Not so here: for although she begin with some sourness, yet she is durable and outlasting. 
The second.  Secondly, be not gulled with the rashness of such brainsick idiots, as think marriage to be magic, that look what defect so ever there be in couples, yet marriage will accommodate all suddenly. Marry them (saith one) and all will do well enough. Can marriage make all errors vanish? Is any man so mad as to think, that because he hath a great sum to pay, therefore he may convey twenty slips into it, and not be discarded? shall not each piece come to the weights? Surely that which in the several is naught, cannot do well in the compound. Once (as our English story mentions) there was in the English Court a very sweet Lady, called jane-make-peace; which no sooner perceived any little difference among the Nobles or Courtiers, but she would accord them presently. But this office is only in religious marriage, not marriage only: nay, rather marriages ill entered upon, are commonly so far from sweet accord, that rather afterward they prove worse; for than doth the devil present more baits of liberty, to an unbrideled heart, than before. The old speech is, Magistracy makes not the man, but discovers what mettle is in him. 
Gal. 6. 7.  Be not deceived, God is not mocked: as a man sows, so shall he reap; of wheat, wheat; of darnel, darnel; and he were mad who would look for other. 
3. Branch.  Thirdly, neither let any think, that in unequal marriages, the religious husband (as the stronger) may better adventure upon an irreligious wife, than a christian woman upon an husband of that strain: for my part, I have seen small odds in the bargain; Salomon's words prove too true here, 
recles 9 11.  Victory is not always to the strong: its ill grappling by strong hand with an headstrong woman. She should be the weaker vessel, but when she is perverted, she proves the stronger in mischief. The sum of all is, let none that fear God venture upon those that do not: and let all seek for their parts, to be in the Lord, before marriage. Above all, let second marriages beware of adventuring in this kind, upon each other for advantage sake (an error very rise in this kind) for enhansing themselves for jollity, and a braver and fuller life, then formerly they were content with: for it falls out commonly, that by one appendent or other; as charge of children, perfidiousness in the valuing of their estates, costliness of diet or apparel, or by some unexpected canker, wasting the apple at the core, God cuts their comb, fills their new hopes with new sorrow, and makes them wish that they were but as they have been, forfeiting all their felicity for naught. So much for this.  
Use 4, The last Use is Exhortation, to excite and persuade all to marry in the Lord: 
Exhortation to marry in the Lord in 3. branches▪  an exhortation at all times necessary: but so specially necessary in these gulling and cheating days, that who so should reject this counsel, were worthy to give it himself too late, upon costly experience. And truly I less blame them, who are of good estate, fearing God, for their buying good wives, by forsaking greater worldly contents: which commonly are joined with greater peril (for great portions commonly go with great stomaches, high spirits, costly fashion, and great expenses.) They therefore who can deny a little pomp, may buy much peace, and redeem both their own and their children's safety, with a little selfe-deniall in outward respects, whenas they are sure to gain it in spiritual. But I digress not. Still I press the point, Marry in this Lord: concerning the which, 
Three branches of it.  I would commend three duties to the well-affected. The first concerning youth before their entrance into this estate. The second more closely concerning such as purpose to change their estate. The third concerning them upon their contract.  
Touching the first, 
The first: Youth must redeem her golden season for this end.  the duty of young ones growing up toward this estate, is this, That they redeem their golden opportunity of youth and single life: improving all such helps either public or private; all such counsels of their ancients; all examples of such as are commendable in this kind, especially any such motions of the spirit in the ordinances, whereby they are inclined to seek the Lord to be their portion, in pardon and grace. Remember this is your season of getting about you such a stock of provision, as may hereafter stand by you. This is your golden time; each period following will prove worse downward, even brass, iron, and clay. Mark how the greater sort of youth dally out their precious time, never setting their hearts to Remember their Creator in the days of their youth: 
Eccles. 12. 1.  but to lick up the common scurf of the times, to learn fashions, compliments, carriage (which a veil little for the main) to stand upon their great births, portions or hopes, and so to live bravely. But how to be fit for such a solemn change (I speak not of death (for that's out of thought, out of season for youth) but of marriage, if God bring them to it; that so out of the treasure which they have gotten, they may bring forth direction, 
Mat. 12. 35.  how to order themselves, or make their estate honourable and comfortable, its furthest from their thought, What? do you hear, that the chief way to honour marriage, is, entering with the Lord? and do you not conclude, that so weighty a matter will cost you a great deal of preparing? What should you then do beforehand? Surely, as your parents are busy about providing your portion (which is their work) so, 
Luke 10. 42.  be you busied a better way, about that one thing necessary, to get the pearl in the field, to seek the Lord while that he may be found. Heathen Poets bring in Virgins upon the stage, professing that they take no thought for their matches, they look at modesty and good report. The less you are busied about things less needful, the more may you attend that one thing, which shall never be taken from you. Except in these days of your youth, wherein each thing is sweet, the main work be thought of, the days are coming (and that perhaps long ere old age) of which you shall say, you have no pleasure in such objects: there may come a day of uncomfortable marriage, 
Eccles. 12. 1.  losses of estate, death of husband, of wife, sorrow of heart for your ill matching, and then how will you do? Is it not just to such, as set the chief things behind? yes verily.  
Remember our Saviour's words to Peter, 
John 21. 18.  When thou wast young, thou girdedst thyself, and wentest whither thou wouldst; but when thou art old, another shall gird thee, and lead thee whither thou wouldst not. Thou mayest (perhaps) meet with an unpleasing girdle; thy great charge of children, calling for thy care and maintenance; the world frowning upon thee, and not answering thy hopes; a riotous and spend thirsty husband, or waspish and untoward wife (for so it may be, 
Single life not like marriage in point of troubles, but more free.  when thou hast sought the greatest prevention of it, if God will so try thee) debts, diseases, reproaches pursuing thee: in the midst of all these, little leisure to wait upon the Ordinances, which should infuse the grace of support into thee: and perhaps (which is worst) as small an heart after it. Then, when all these have made they life unpleasant, and thy conscience coming upon all, 
Read Prov. 5. 11. 12.  with a worse stream, and causing an overflow of sorrow unto thee; what shalt thou do? God hath dealt righteously in it, because thou contemnest all helps in thy youth, and therefore in thy trouble, sends thee to thy idol beauty, money, will, laughing at thy misery: how wilt thou then wish thou hadst but that former liberty granted thee, to marry in the Lord? 
John 3. 8.  Oh! how eagerly are things loved, out of their season? Alas! the spirit blows where it lists, time and tide must not stay upon thee; thou hadst them, and wouldst not use the watchwords thereof wisely: why should the spirit any longer strive with thee, but rather suffer thy sails to stand still for ever? 
Gen. 6. 2.  If this than be the time of girding thy loins with grace for time to come, gird them with that precious girdle of knowledge, sincerity, self-denial, faith, patience, and the like: learn to wear the yoke of God from thy youth, 
Lam. 3. 23.  and it shall not pinch thee in thine age. By this girding of thine own soul, thou shalt be fit to admit of God's unpleasing girdles for time to come, crosses (if they come) shall befall thee in thine innocency, so as thou shalt know how to defray them, and the Lord shall be afflicted with thee in thy afflictions, 
Esay 63. 9, 10.  and teach thee how to pass thy marriage with comfort. But if this counsel will do thee no good, but perhaps thou hast learned to do as the world doth, that is, to welter in thy sorrows, and to bear them off with head and shoulders, so that thou canst go on through a second, or a third marriage (if it so fall out) with as graceless an heart, as through the first. Certainly, there remains nothing for thee, save that thy end prove worse than thy beginning, because thy troubles brought thee not upon thy knees for thy former sin, 
Mat. 12. 45.  but rather thou walkest on still in the frowardness of thine heart. 
Esay 57 17.   
I proceed to a second duty, 
The second branch of Exhortation in many particulars.  when thou intendest a change; that is, be sure thou do nothing rashly, but use all possible wisdom, that as thou hast sought the Lord, so he would bring thee to a suitable companion. A great work, I grant, and thou wilt ask how it may be effected. 
Duty 1.  I will labour to satisfy thy desire with these advices following. 
Selfe-deniall and trial what Gods mind is about our estate.  First, deny thyself, renounce that carnal wisdom, presumption and will of thine own, which ascribes so much to itself, as if it needed no advice: submit thyself to the Lord, do not at first rush thyself upon marriage by a necessity of nature, 
Mat. 16. 24.  or by custom of the world, 
1 Thes. 4. 4.  or because years require it, or out of base ends, to give way to thy lust: but let it be thy care to preserve thy vessel in holiness and honour: abstain from all provocations to lust, be much in prayer for a sanctification of every age and condition of life, perhaps the Lord hath appointed thee a single life, which may be much better for thee then marriage to honour God in; perhaps thou art not a meet man for marriage; but it would prove incommodious for thee: however, it's thy duty to try what God hath for thee in store, and many repent them for their yielding to the first pangs of unbrideled youth, and wish they had not given way so soon to an impotent humour; nay, many who at the first intended no other save marriage, yet by their more wary and temperate diet, company, and by subduing their flesh by fasting and prayer, 
Mat. 21. 17.  meditation, and close attendance of study, call, or the ordinances of God, have obtained such a gift of chastity, that they see it is rather the way of God, they should not marry 
* All receive not this gift. . There are some (saith our Saviour) who are eunuchs borne: marriage were a snare to such (notwithstanding their frothy concupiscence) and some have made themselves so for the kingdom of heaven. 
Mat. 19 12.  Chastity is a peculiar gift of God, all will grant; and God will have it appear in some, that grace hath more strength than nature hath, as against lusts, so above lawful liberties: and he who adviseth continence to some, 
1 Cor. 7. 8.  in times of danger, especially in which marriage might prove a clog; and otherwise also for a more close cleaving to God, without marriage distractions; there is no doubt, but he hath grace suitable to frame some men and women, 
1 Cor. 5. 5.  for this very purpose. And sure it is, 
Continency being'a gift of God, must be sought for.  where such a gift is, God is highly honoured with the pure and undivided spirit of such as serve him in that condition. Therefore all due means must be used for the attaining of it, till the mind of God be known in this kind; 
1 Cor. 7. 35.  and no man ought to forestall providence in that respect: weigh well thy strength or thy weakness in the balance, lay before thee the burdens and service of marriage; thy bodily or spiritual abilities or imperfections, play not the part of a fool, to say after marriage, I never thought it such a state, I see now I am not meet for it: that should have been thought of before: inform thyself duly of the conveniences and inconveniences of each condition, the single and the married; and when all is done, if God incline thee to a private state, reserve thyself to it; I say not to thee, vow it, 
No vows of single life warranted.  for who knows but thy mind and body may alter, and require a change? but so long as by thy abstinence from all provocations, and watchful eye over thyself, thou canst keep thyself chaste, and prove it by the contentation of thy spirit, without noy someness, and neglect of the duties of thy place: thou mayst gather the will of God by the sign, and so thou art to yield thyself to a single life; wherein although there cannot but fall out some petty discommodities (in some kind) yet they ought to be digested meekly, for the a voiding of worse, and the attaining of the benefit of a single estate. For when God is in a condition, that shall be tolerable to one, which would be burdensome to another; and there is no state wholly free from trouble in this world, only that is to be embraced (as near as we can) which is free from the most. And having once understood the way of God, go not out of it wilfully, nor dally not with him, in such weighty purposes: if it please him to alter thy mind, thou shalt understand it by signs easily, and mayst without sin, follow him, so thy sin be not accessary. So much for the first counsel, which I desire may be conceived of discreetly, and not mistaken.  
The secondly, 
The second.  if notwithstanding this trial, thou shalt find, 
Sound judgement, and subduing of a rebellious heart.  that God hath allotted marriage to thee, know, it's a lawful condition of life, be resolved it is so, be not snared with fear, melancholy, or any distemper; although it be joined with many troubles, yet they shall be the lester when God tells thee, its best, and thy gain shall be above thy loss; cast thyself upon the ordinance in such a case, to make it sweet. And therefore prepare thyself for it, deny thine own rebellion, pride, passions, will and lust: know that marriage is no state (as many think) of licentiousness, to live at ease, and as a man list. They who are of that mind, need no other plague then their own error to vex them, when they meet with the contrary. No, no, this estate is not for an untamed heifer: as soon mayst thou force an Unicorn to plow with thy Oxen, 
Job 39 9, 10.  as thy rude spirit to draw in thy yoke of marriage. Learn therefore self-denial betimes (it's as essential for a married life as for a single) humility and wisdom, and how hardly this hard Theme will be handled, till the heart be subdued and meekened before. For all unbroken ones are like to find sorrow in the flesh, double and treble. 
1 Cor. 7. 38.  If it be so in the green tree, how much more in the dry? If it be unavoidable to the best, how much more to them who seek it? 
Luke 23. 21.  So much for the second.  
Thirdly, 
Duty 3.  be warned against the common disease both of error and practice, 
Error of the time to be abhorred.  which hath overflowed the world, and so bleared the eyes of men, that they can see nothing, save the outsides of things. Suffer not beauty, breeding, portion, personage, education, with complemental behaviour, fashionableness, and the like, so to bribe thy judgement, and forestall thine affections, that religion should come too late, and be thrust out from consultation. Beware of covetousness, pride of life and jollity, ambitious and aspiring thoughts, to count none meet for thee, save such as are transcendent. The world is now a days become a great snare; each young one, scarce out of the shell, tickles himself with the proposal of great hopes to himself, and telling him, His fortunes are great, and he may marry in so and so high a degree, and what is so high but his hopes may equal? And thus, not looking at his base beginnings, and unlikelihoods of any thing, but puffing up himself with offers, with conceit of his own worth, he grows to think the world too narrow to choose in. And never, I think, was the spirit of the male-sex so vast, as in this age, wherein the multitude of the female sex, and the contempt thereof, hath brought it to pass, that every boy new out of his prenticeship, values himself by the scores and hundreths, although scarce worth a groat besides his occupation. And the most men deem none, be they never so religious (which in our Father's days would have been counted rich matches) fair or good enough for him. except beauty and wealth in an higher degree then common make them so. In so much, that except parents overstraine and half exhaust themselves to dowry their daughters, be they otherwise never so well brought up and deserving, they lie by as no body.  
Quest. But what? will some say, Do you envy our lot to be better now, then in former times? or is it unlawful to marry to wealthy ones, and our betters? Answ. I answer. If God lay out a portion for you, (without your politic ambitious seeking) and such an one, as whose portion in grace equals her estate, yea such as in judgement desire you for your religion, although you are inferior otherwise, I deny not, but (friends consenting) it is lawful; God hath brought such a vantage to your hands. But what is this to men's covetous and proud desires? As one once said of his second match, I will now have a gallant, whatsoever it cost me; and so he had such a one as he fancied. But by that time he had wintered and summered her a while, his bladder was so pricked, that he sadly wished he had one of his former wife's size and fashion, as plain as he then thought her to be. I conclude thus, overween not yourselves (when there is little worth in you) to equal the meanest women, or husbands; but moderate your spirits, and marry in the Lord. Nothing hinders but the Lord and outward means may concur (as the case may stand) and then the question is ended. But if it be so, that a match of 500 pounds be offered with the Lord, and another of seven or eight hundreth without him, or at least, without any apparent hopes of him, what then shall be done? I answer, other conditions being concurrent in any tolerable proportion, despise the greater offer, and take the lesser, counting the miss of thy gain happy, and the gain of her grace with that loss, more happy. Buy thy wife in such a case, 
Grace must be preferred to we●l●th, in marriage.  if thou be wise, and let it appear, that God's oracles are no ties with thee. If her price be above pearls, I trow, thou who wilt not part with a little gold or silver for it, art well worthy, for thy betraying her for a little pel●e, to betray thyself to sorrow; and to have bag and baggage and all. Tell me, in what marquet couldst thou traffic so well, as to game a pearl for a little silver? doubtless, thy silver would not recompense thy loss, if thou shouldest choose it, with a far less bargain. The times have been, wherein the man was to bring a dowry to the woman (though I think they held not long) I am sure Christ's marriage is such to his beloved: 
1 Sam. 25. 18. ) think thyself to be the man, and ask thyself, if not what thou wouldst give, yet what thou wouldst forgo for a good companion? I think the days were never so rare for marriages in this kind, 
Good marriages must be bought.  as now: and yet the sorrowful fruit of the contrary, should bring this choice into date again. It's a custom (we know) for men ambitious to buy honour, rather than want it, yea, glad they are, if they can so come by it. Do you so. Marriage is honourable: buy it whatsoever it cost you, and be glad you can get it so. Let bad customs be no prescriptions, and set a good one against a bad.  
Fourthly, 
The fourth: pray hard for good marriage: pay and pray too.  let the Lord be much solicited by prayer both ordinary and extraordinary for this blessing: beg hard for it, rather than want. I said before, pay for it, and now I add, pray for it, pay and pray too, and think it worth it. Let the Lord see that your soul is deeply in love with it, and will not be denied, seek to honour him for ever for it, and count it not every man's case; and you shall see, what answer he will make you. If prayer will not get it, try if importunity will prevail: 
Mat 15. 18.  come for a wife as she Mat. 15. came for her daughter, and refuse any nay, this is the way to get it: God will grant it thee, rather than be wearied (and yet he loves it) with importunity. Either God will hear you, or else give you a reason which shall satisfy you: which I add, because I believe that exceeding good marriage were not good for some that seek it; it would puff them up and hurt them; they rather need exercising marriages. But this know, God will not part with his jewels so easily, as not to be sought to for them: this blessing is like to that, 
Ezek. 36. end.  Ezek. 36. which the Lord so promised to give his people, as yet he would besought too by them for it. Commit thy way to jehova, 
Ps. l. 37. 5.  and he shall effect it. If thy wife be to thee as Samuel was a son to Hannah, 
1 Sam 1. 27.  a wife of prayer, thou mayst the more rejoice in her, 
Gen. 33. 5.  and say with jacob, Lo the wife which the Lord in mercy hath given his servant. 
Tit. 1. 15.  To the pure all are pure: each gift is sanctified by prayer: else, if thou do only light well by accident, 
1 Sam 25. 1.  as Nabal upon Abigail, she shall be but a dry morsel to thee, without favour or favour: thou shalt find her as he did, a snare to thee, 〈◊〉 helpless helper (God depriving thee of the staff of ●read, the true good of a good wife) not only a dry pit, but even an increase of thy judgement. It is said Abraham called Eliezer his servant, in this weighty business of choosing a wife for his son Isaac, bidding him to put his hand under his thigh: (a solemn adjuration) for assurance, that he would not choose him an heathenish wife, but one of Terahs' family (the best which then could be had, though not as it ought) beyond the river: how much more oughtest thou to put thy hand under the Lords, in this case of thine own marriage, vowing, that if he will provide a Rebecca for thee, and make thy voyage prosperous, thou wilt discern as real a providence as Eliezer saw in meeting of her at the well. Is there never a wife for thee (said the parents of Samson) but thou must needs go among the uncircumcised? 
Judg. 14. 3.  Vow it, that if God will betrust thee with one that is religious, though another should be laid against her, yet thy loadstone would draw the former.  
Fiftly, 
Duty 5.  add hereto the advice of the most judicious and impartial friends, 
Advice of the most judicious and impartial friends requisite for good marriage.  that thou canft come by: for though two eyes are too few, yet he that will advise in this case, must only judge with one, that is, a single eye, and look but one way. Such is the subtlety of sutours now a days, that though their merit be never so small, yet they will so go to work, that their credit shall be good; forestall the truth by their interest, either in a good Minister, or man of note: if they be but moral, they will engage them by gifts: if religious, by seeming devotion, to think well of them. It's a sad thing to think, what bad matches have been made by the mediation of the best men; being first deluded. Alas! how easy is it, to make charity and credulity to be on men's sides? the best have been deceived about this business. But the third person (who neither soweth nor moweth by the bargain) is fitter to judge of this game, than parties are. And be assured that true intelligence is not easily come by, in these interblending days: yet, as I have said, thou hast a promise, that God will hide no secret from thee, 
Joh. 14. 14, 15.  if thou be his friend; so that thou dost not pervert thine own way, and stumble at the offence which thou layest before thyself: 
1 Sam. 16. 6.  to think with erring Samuel, that the anointed of the Lord is before him, when it's no such thing, but thy carnal conceit: we easily believe that to be, which we would have to be. The judgement of the Church, either is infallible in this kind, or else it's safter erring with it, then hitting well without it. Great is the cozenage of dissembling parties, when they set themselves to sale, by religious semblance. Machiavels maxim is all in all, viz. soundness of religion is difficult to be had, and quits not the cost in the world's esteem: shows are easy, and will serve the turn even as well. Hence it is, that few walk humbly and plainly, most are content with shows. As that Scholar of Cambridge said, If I may get my degree, I have that I came for; let learning go where it will: so these, I am now upon sale hill, if I be once sold, I have enough. And I should offend many honest hearts, if I should discover what I know touching the humours of some malcontents in this kind, especially of the female sex, basely pretending that their conscience is the ground, whereas it's but a stalking-horse, serving to screw themselves into some good opinion for marriage: whereas, their turns not being served, but their ends crossed, they have bewrayed themselves in their colours, to be but counterfeits. A spirit for the nonce, is needful in this discerning work; therefore let inquistion be narrow and wise, among them that are neither nearest the blood, nor to the advantage, by such a match.  
Sixtly, 
Duty 6.  be very observative and careful in your mutual parleys together, 
Observing the sp●ttis of each other, meet for such as would marry in the Lord.  to mark the spirits of each other, having first begged of God an understanding heart. The ear (saith Elihu) trieth words, as the furnance doth metals; the fool believes every thing, but the wise ponder sayings. So do you. And as I said of the help of other men's eyes and wits: Establish thy thoughts by counsel, 
Job 34. 3.  for in the multitude of counsellors there is peace: 
Prov. 15. 22.  so I say to yourselves, trust not so to others, 
〈◊〉. 1. 5.  as to put and dash out your own eyes and brains; 
●ob 32 8.  but consult with wisdom's oracle, and ask it of him who gives and upbraids not. There is a spirit in man, but the inspiration of the Almighty gives understanding: as Paul▪ 
1 Cor. 2. 15.  saith, the spiritual man judgeth of all things, and is judged of none: so here; only add this, They who have been very wise in and for others, yet in their own case, and this of affection especially, have failed much; and the proverb is verified here, Once, all men have doted. Put difference therefore between smooth words and neat passages of wit, or conceits that come only from the brain, and between sound grounds planted in the heart. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth will speak, to a wise hearer. It's hard for a barren heart to dissemble fruitfulness, or for a well-seasoned to seem unsavoury. Question each with other, not concerning persons, but things: not about preachers or Sermons, or duties of religion, or circumstances only of abuses and corruptions of time: (for who is not up to the ears in this now adays?) but concerning the real work of the Word by name, how the Law hath quelled a proud heart, and stopped the course thereof in evil: how it is brought so low and to such a tameness, as to crouch to God for the crumbs that fall from his table: to be low in herself, and lay aside all her ornaments, 
Exod. 33. 6.  glad to be equal to them of low degree, and the like. Look not at the gifts of each other, but try whether a mean opinion of ourselves increaseth, 
Rom. 12. 16.  as knowledge increaseth: ask each other, what the nature of a promise is, wherein the nature and life of faith consists. Also, 
Acts 15. 15.  how faith purifies the heart, kills the strongest lusts and passions, quickens the heart by a principle to all holiness, meekness, patience, mercy to the distressed, and sorrow for the sins of others. If these seeds be planted in the spirit, they will subdue it unto God; yea, they will set a new frame within, 
Prov. 17. 24.  and make the countenance to shine. And whereas it's objected, Object. few can so fully satisfy themselves in the degrees of each others grace. Answ. I answer: try the substance, and let degrees appear in time, it's well if grace in youth can creep, though it cannot go (though the forwarder it is the better) if in the want of great measure, yet the savour of these things break forth out of the cloud; and where bashfulness and modesty is the veil to cover some graces, their 〈◊〉 parts be clothed with the more honour. I know 〈◊〉 better care-marks to choose good couples by, than humility and modesty. 
Esay 65 8.  Despise not a little, if these two be, for (as the Prophet saith, 
Zach. 4. 10. ) There is a blessing in it. Observe also how providence swayeth your minds, to or against each other; observe each others disposition, parts, natural guises, and behaviour; that which one thinks comely, another distastes, and some disproportion and unsympathy herein, may cause religion to be meanly thought of. And to end, remember that this business borders much upon the outward man; beware therefore that neither outward defects do weaken, nor their abilities do forstall thy judgement either way, from the due weighing of the best things in the balance, to or fro. 'Slight defects will soon be supplied by religion, where love is entire, but want of religion is not easily recompensed with externals: be wise not to stumble too much at the former; neither let heat of affection snare and cousin thee in the latter. So much for the means to be used for marrying in the Lord.  
And to this issue pertains all this discourse: 
Conclusion of this second duty.  therefore still I so conclude, as I began. And because no bad marriage befalls any, where the husband's sin is not chief, either because himself is bad, or erreth in judging the wife: (the woman having only a refusing voice, 
The man hath the leading hand, therefore aught to be wary.  not a choosing, but the man having the prerogative of choice, as the leader of the business:) therefore let the man especially look to himself. It's not for the modesty of the woman's sex, to play the suitor, 
Women wooers threaten woe.  to put forth herself towards the man, but to wait till God offer her an object of consideration: and I seldom have noted matches very successful in this kind. I remember the answer of a wise man to a Gentlewoman, which told him, she could love him before any man: he answered her, but of all others, I dare not venture upon you for my wife. He considered, that such pangs in that humorous sex cannot come from judgement, because they thwart an ordinance: and as a sudden torrent of passion or heat causeth them, so they suddenly fall as fast, and leave the channel dry: when the humour is over, then cool blood succeeds, and checks the party for rashness, works a dislike of the choice, and a very indifferent spirit to the husband; thinking him to be too mean for them; and so little joying in him, waxing dark, and far from that sweet temper of amity and subjection which a wife should bewray. Therefore ye husbands be not gulled with easy matches; they are not so easy to forgo as to get: the furthest way about, is the nearest way home. There is a pleasingness in show, to be fancied by a woman, to be offered that estate which I could never have expected: 
Touching marrying in the Lord: three questions answered.  but when all is said that can be, it is too easy to prove happy: what it may prove I cannot say, but since it's not of God, and is against the modesty of that sex, I can see no great hope of it. This by the way. I end my counsel with a twofold question. 
1. Question answered.  One is this: if (say some) we stay till these choice marriages be offered us, we may wrong our hopes, passing the time of our virginity and youth vainly away. To whom I say (I speak to none in this kind save to the religious; let the rest move in their own sphere:) commit thy way to jehovah, 
Psal. 37 5.  and he will effect it: where there is truth of grace, it cannot lie hid; some way or other the Lord shall provide, and the labour of thy love shall not be concealed: fear not the world's fears, cry not a confederacy, where they cry it; 
1 Pet. 3. 15.  but wait, and there will always be some men, who will be as jealous as women, to plunge themselves into a cross marriage, as glad of thee as thou of him: it's a reciprocal case, and he who believes, makes no more haste then good speed. Thy worth shall break out as the light, 
Psal. 37. 6.  and thy patience and modesty as the noon day.  
Another is, 
2. Question answered.  whether should we go to find out such? for we see the families of such as had name of religion, are now degenerate, and empty of such choice. None do more degenerate to pride, vanity and profaneness, than the children of many Ministers and professors, which have been religious; yea, many towns anciently of note for such, yet are now become as barren as any other. To whom I answer: when the people came and told Samuel, that his children walked not in his ways, 
1 Sam. 8. 5.  it was not so much from any offence at their sin, as for their own ends, to make them a King: many upbraid good families, because they are willing to balk them, and to look otherwhere. Sure I am, that families are not so wanting of good matches, as the good matches who are in them are disregarded. But further, be it true, Gods rules are slighted in all places now a days, and religion was never thicker swoon, nor come up thinner than now: what wonder, if sin carry this duty down the stream of contempt, as well as others? yet I say, is religion gone quite out of all families? Though it be entailed to no one, yet cannot free grace plant itself where it listeth? if it leave one, can it not choose another? religion (for aught I see) may lie long enough, except excess of portion smell her out. Oh! follow not the stream, conform not to the fashion of this world: God is tied to no places, families, congregations, he is no accepter of persons; but in all places where his name is feared and called upon, there will he bless. Such shall not need to distrust God: he makes none a soon of Abraham, 
Act. 10. 34.  but he makes a daughter of Abraham also meet for him; use means to find them out, and having so done, prefer pearls before pebbles, and the Lord shall bring the good to the good, 
1 Cor 14. 33.  for he is a God of order, not of confusion.  
Quest. 3 But will some say, perhaps we have found out a jewel, but it's in a dunghill: a good husband or wife, but the parents bad, the kindred bad, and no encouragement to proceed. I answer: as a bad wife is never the better, because graced with a good: so neither aught a choice either wife or husband be too much sullied by a bad family: it's their ill lot to be so, 
Gen ●●.  but that grace that made Lot eminently good, Noah excellently righteous in their sinful times, 
Gen. 19 ●  doth even more abundantly requite that blemish, with the select religion of some one among them. I blame no man, if with a good wife he would be glad to marry to a good family and stock: but in another respect, I would account that grace which is unstained with so much ill, being in the midst of it, more approved and tried with the touchstone, then that which grows up together with the grace of a family, for company. It's some grace to a Lily to grow among thorns; and a Rose looks the more beautiful among thistles: contraries set one against another, are the more orient. I should not refuse a truly virtuous companion for the cause. And this be said of the second main rule, for such as are upon entrance of marriage. I go to the third.  
The third duty concerns the two parties, 
The third duty preparation between the contract and the marriage, necessary.  after their Contract, viz. to spend that space between it and marriage (as a more due and solemn season) for a preparation of themselves to the estate and conversation of marriage to come. But because I foresee that the Reader will expect that somewhat be said in this Treatise, touching a Contract: I will therefore suspend this third advice till I come to that argument in the fifth chapter, at the end thereof. Thus much for this Chapter.   

CHAP. III.  
The second requisite unto a good entrance, viz. aptness or suitableness.  
NOW than I come to the second general thing, 
The second general for entrance, is, to mairy aptly.  pertinent to good entrance, and that is, to marry aptly in the Lord; that is, to join all circumstances of equality and suitableness to religion. And in this (as I conceive) as well as the former, consists the entry upon an happy and honourable marriage. It is not for nothing, that the Lord brought Adam a meet helper for him; that is, not only one created in the same image of holiness as he; but made of himself, flesh of his flesh, and bone of his bone: woman of man, equal to him in dignity; not of his head, nor his feet or lower parts, but of his fides and ribs, in token of one that was to fide with him, and agree with him in the married estate: The Apostle useth a phrase about husband and wife, 
1 Cor. 7. 35.  the which is translated thus [For that which is comely;] the original word is an equal siding, or sitting close to the side, with comeliness: so should it be with the married: there should be such an aptness in the choice (so far as may be) that the one might seem to be a true 
* Jugai●s.  fellow in the yoke, well met (as we say) and suitable each to other. Hence marriage is called a Match, to signify, that couples should be peers, and like each other, true matches. Otherwise, a manifest disproportion causes not only a fulsomeness, in the judgement of others, but to the affections of each other. And this the Lord would have us take notice of, as foreseeing the inevitable inconveniences, which must needs follow upon mismatched couples. Cattle of uneven cize and stature, strength and proportion draw very ill in one yoke, and untowardly. This I add, lest any should mistake my former speech, viz. That religion is the true level of all other inequalities. I meant this, that if it be the lot of any to enter marriage unequally, then there being religion to moderate, it will make a better level then any other thing can, when religion is absent. I did not justify unequality but accommodate it, when it is. Here I add moreover, that when other conditions and respects are unequal in any great degree, religion can do no more than she can do. Marriage consists of a carnal piece one way, as well as a religious another way; and we may say of it as of the belly, she hath no ears. When I say, the unequality of couples is apparent, it is as the clashing of a glassy body against a groser metal. When a poor party meets with a rich, a well-bred one with a rude and illiberal, a courteous with a froward, a bountiful with a miserly, a noble with a base; one from the Court with another from the cart or the shop; a proper and personable, with a deformed, crooked or dwarf, what a disproportion doth it cause, and a kind of loathsomeness? We say of the same body that its an uncomely sight to behold a sweet face, and a crooked back: if it be such a jar in the same, how much more in two persons, which can better view each other behind and before, than the same eye can see her own crookedness? but especially when two religious ones meet, the one whose disposition lies on the left and, to frowardness, melancholy, sullenness, teachinesse in an eminent degree; the other's to meekness, courtesy and amiableness; what a continual vexation is it? what a discord of sounds doth this cause? An instrument out of tune, unapt to play upon, distempereth each lesson, and displeaseth every ear.  
Quest. But here ariseth a question, How we shall judge of unaptness? None are so unapt, 
Who are unapt  but they can allege one thing or other for themselves. Old women marrying young men, justify themselves by this, that they will maintain their husbands, and that shall make up the flaw, and levels that valley. Deformed ones marrying fair or personable, allege, they are penny white: and kitching-maids marrying Gentlemen, may say, They are good nurses, and deny themselves as much another way. Answ. To all which I answer and affirm, that none provide for the honour of marriage, save those who provide against the stain and dishonour of unapt marriage. And yet I must add, that when I urge aptness, I urge it not in so arithmetical and strict a proportion, and in every point of aptness, as if else it might be no marriage. There is a dissimilitude in the same kind, which is no disproportion in a divers kind: and there is a discord of tones in the most exact music, making it most pleasing, because still it's within the kind. I judge not one unequal to another in birth, because the fashion of the one is a little lower; but by disproportion of degree, when gentle marry base; noble, honourable, worshipful marry ignoble, and under themselves in the whole kind. Else, as the roundness of the each recompenseth this or that particular unevenness; so may marriage level petty unequalities. And to this, that inequality doth no always follow some contrarieties of temper, except they be such as infer a natural distaste of each other: as for example, 
Exceptio●s against the 〈◊〉 of 〈◊〉 aptness, many  nothing hinders why there may not be sweet accord between a very provident wife matched with an improvident husband, when the husband counts that gift a supply of his defect; because it's only a defect in accident or quality, not real. Difference also in estates, may cause a kind of necessity of disproportion. It falls out that some impair or crack of brain lessens the repute of a Gentleman well descended; this disableth his hopes of any great marriage. Shall one defect infer a worse, a deprival of marriage wholly? no verily, a woman much inferior to him in birth and means, or years, should yet be thought a very good, yea apt match for such an one, and that with reputation and honour to her humility, if she be faithful. A gain, a man hath by a former venture, a great charge of children, which are like to lie upon the hand of a second wife, both for education and attendance; in such a case, a woman of an hundred or two hundred pounds worth, who is willing to requite that defect with love and painfulness (being otherwise competent for her honest parentage and fashion of life,) may be as equal a match, as perhaps one of a thousand pound estate, without that encumbrance. Again, in the judgement of men, defect of honour may sometimes be recompensed with wealth and estate: as if a man nobly descended, yet grown to mean estate, hath need of such a supply, though perhaps he fail of some degree of the other: I say, if both concur, its best; but if the defect do lie in honour, it may be equalled with estate; and it were a shame for honour to quarrel with such a wife for unequalness; for than may she say, she hath bought her honour at a sad rate, and upon dear terms.  
Besides, 
More exceptions.  it falls out, that two marry, the one a man whom present honour and favour with his Prince hath advanced beyond the rank of his family; or perhaps, honour hath gone along with swifter pace toward him, then with some other house, who yet may be as honourable in times past, and more ancient, than they are presently, though not with such titles: if now the one match with the other, shall present honour contest with such an one as inferior? No sure, if the root be as good, the match is not unequal. Lastly, in case of persecution for religion, or of going voyages of hazard, by sea to foreign plantations: in which cases, strict equality is not to be mentioned: now in such cases, the woman being to fly or transplant, needs the aid of a wise head, or the man the help of a discreet woman: they cannot match themselves in their due ranks, as otherwise they might; therefore looking at the main point, that is, at religion, and integrity of report, they match as near their condition as may be: although it prove very much inferior, yet it is not to be counted a dishonourable marriage. Master Fox in the story of Queen Mary's persecution, reports of a worthy religious Duchess of Norfolk, which married to a godly Gentleman, one Master Berty, (far under a Duke's state) with whom she fled the Land, and in that most wearisome flight (as it proved) found him a most faithful and loyal husband to the death. So then, if there be a general proportion of aptness, so that the disparity lie only in a degree, not in kind, it must not be censured: all cannot lie under the Aequator, under the same line and latitude; some may admit many degrees off. The truth is, in this confusion of all things, it's not to be expected that marriage should keep quarter with exactness more than other occurrents of life: in some cases, we must abate and yield of rigour, left we split all: Men are grown to enhase their degree to an higher pitch then formerly; and it will be hard to convince high stomaches, of means or unequalness; their ambition hath too high a pitch. Those persons are fitter to observe this rule, who are mean in their own eyes, and equal themselves to those of lower degree. To leave them therefore with their great hearts and hopes, let me yet yoke them with Paul's counsel, 
Phil. 4 8.  Whatsoever is pure, honest, just, of good report, that ensue; adhorre that which is base, uncomely, and absurd. But if it appear to the judicious, that your carnal, covetous reaches and aspiring spirits have exercised themselves in things too high, 
Psal. 131. 1.  for ambition, state or worldly ends; let the issue be what it may (as commonly it is repenting) I pronounce such matches to fall under this second rules censure; they are unapt, therefore dishonourable.  
Use 1 I come to the uses of the point. If the honour of marriages stand party in aptness of it, 
Instruction. No curiosity's to mar●y aptly.  than hence it appears, that it's no curiosity for any to regard aptness: Men count this direction to be frivolous; imagining that marriage hath a gift of itself, either to find equals, or to make such (as the old proverb speaks of friends:) and to wash off at once all eyesores; nay, it will be hard for such to fray away sorrow, and so shall you say when you have tried. One would have thought Pharaoh might easily have kept out frogs from his Privy-chamber, 
Exod. 8. 3.  but it would not be. I dare promise none of the equalest marriages, that they shall be free; but as for humours, rashness, base and by-respects, they never did so find it. Those that catch up wives all at once suddenly, 
Judge 21. 23.  must repent them at leisure. Be instructed then, to think no care sufficient in this kind; stay not till mistress Experience convince you of your folly, in condemning others, but falling into the pit yourselves. So much for this first.  
Use 2 Secondly, be admonished not to overween your own strength, 
Admonition against overweening our own strength, in unapt marriage.  as thingking it sufficient to bind Bears (as the Proverb is) and to defray any unaptness whatsoever without trouble. Oh, saith one, let but my turn be satisfied, and fear not me; if I have once pitched my affection, I am not so soon unsettled again: Alas, you judge yourselves by your present pangs, which overbeare inferior dislikes; but who are weaker to digest inequality, than such as think themselves wisest and strongest? Many have said as you say, If I may have state sufficient, no bodily blemish shall trouble me. Another, If I can get a religious wife, one hundred pounds will content me as well as three. If I may marry one whom I love, I care not for portion, etc. but alas poor green heads, before a few years be over your heads, when you have scummed off, and licked up the upper sweet of your marriages, than your thoughts will go to work, I have deserved portion, and religion and beauty too; and what not? Then will your unstaid eye fasten upon others, whom you see to exceed you in portion, birth, sweetness of nature, feature, and the like; then your carnal part will lower, and vex at your lot, and then, Oh, I might have been wiser; and so you must either bite in all as ashamed of your choice, or else utter your discontent, to make your lives uncomfortable. When you behold your parents to wax estranged, your kindred aloof, your means decaying, charge increasing, and the devil throwing in baits of such and such men and women, so personable, rich, brought up, then will it appear upon wise terms, you have rejected the counsel of apt marriage: and yet many fools (who are appointed to it) cannot beware the second time, but rush themselves into as unmeet matches as before, if not worse. Therefore acknowledge your weakness, harken no more to such Spokesmen, as are apt to prompt you with wives of their own fancying: (which is the ruin of many ridiculous men, to take wives upon other men's trust) ascribe not too much to your own wisdom; rather think yourselves of all others, likest to be deceived by your eye or affections. Say thus, A man I am, and but a man, and nothing of a man is strange to me. I am as like to snare myself, and as unable to endure a snare, as another, therefore I will prevent it betimes. I embrace God's allowance, as well to please myself with aptness, as with religion: God is the God of order, as well as goodness. Nothing hinders why other accomplishments may not be sought with grace, (so that be chief) and it had need please well, which must please ever, or be an eyesore for ever. Surely, if God give me my liberty, I dare not snare myself. And I see, that as there are many wives, who for want of religion are a snare; so there are also many religious, who for want of other accommodations, make every vein in their husband's hearts to ache ere they die. Thou art not made of brass, but of flesh, as others are, and hast affections equally disposed to the like distempers: it's thy wisdom to know thyself.  
And surely, 
Terror to affectors of unequal matches.  he who would but weigh the odious fruits of unequal marriages, might easily be drawn from them. What an imputation is it for a Minister, young in years, to match himself with some old woman for what she hath? How meanly is his discretion esteemed; and how basely doth his covetousness hear always after? How should such a man persuade others to trust God, when all men see the bastard of his own unbeleese carried at his back? What vile affections are bred in secret in many such, desire of the death of their companions being grown decrepit; irksomeness of spirit, in tedious bearing the sickliness, unhelpfulnesse, and unsociablenesse of each others bodies? How many have we known, who being discontent with their lot, seek to other younger ones, and defile them: some within their own dwellings, polluting themselves with their servants? How many murders have unequal matches caused, of infants so begotten and borne? Nay, how many have been the cursed attempts of poisoning each other, to be rid of the loathed party, husband or wife? What one Assize passes without such precedents? I do not know any one thing in the conversation of man, which causes more disasters than unequal matches do, directly or indirectly. Some being ashamed of their foolish choice, care not what they attempt to be eased of them. Others crossed of that lust, which (like the belly) hath no ears, and will not be kerbed, will venture any joint to satisfy it: and to say truth, no tongue of man can sufficiently express the misery of spirit (which many, otherwise not of the worst) do endure, through conflicting with their own ill lots, and corrupt spirits in this kind: and the wearisomeness of inequality in one kind, forceth them to as bad in another. Mens first wives being forty years elder than themselves, when they have buried them, partly through eager desire of posterity, partly longing after the other extreme, marry a wife forty years younger, and so are lashed with their own whip; and as much loathed by the later, as they loathed the former. Fools, to shun one extreme, incur another.  
Use. 3 Thirdly, Let this bereproofe to the unruly humours of many persons, 
Reproof.  either in first or second matches, which always aim at that which is most contrary to their conditions. I have noted, that if there be any apparent defect in a man or a woman, 
Branch 1.  they are so far from humbleness under it, or giving themselves content in such as are defective in the like, 
Corruption always affects a contrariety to the Ordinance.  or other kinds (which yet is equal) that rather they itch after and covet such yokefellowes, as do exceed as much on the contrary, and are of the best perfections. How ordinary is it for men to affect better than they deserve, to cover their own defects, and to satisfy their lusts? and how wear some doth it prove? For as Solomon saith, 
Prov. 30. 23.  The earth cannot bear the burden of unequal marriages, as of one that is heir to her Mistress, that is, upstarts become impotent and insolent, scorning to take it as they have done. On the other side, he who takes an inferior party, thinks, that she should pay for her preferment, and become so much the more subject and dutiful. Now when both parties find it otherwise, to wit, that the one waxes proud, and the other thinks himself neglected, what a confusion groweth hereby? Nay, such poison I have noted to break out of some base parties in marriage, that because they are privy to themselves of unequality, therefore they are jealous of their husband's respect and love, think themselves despised, as not worthy to hold quarter with them, and when there is of all other least cause, yet then come they in with their irksome suspicions, and they imagine their husbands to show more affection to strangers than themselves. Now equality would remove such misprisions. But to return, why should a country plain man, affect the neatness of a nice Citizen? Or a crooked, affect a person eminent for comeliness? Were not a country woman bred for a Farm, more equal? Were it not better like went to like, that so neither might despise other? Why should a low bred one affect a brave gallant? or a poor one a wealthy? Why should a meek and gentle one, defile himself with a shrewish spirit? Is it not the next way to sorrow? Doth not unaptness cause a division at last? Therefore this is a fruit of old Adam, to covet most ardently, that which is forbidden unto us, and against us. What folly and sin is out of measure sinful, if this be not? and who pities such as plunge themselves into misery, and need not? It is a kind of delight (in the obliquities of men, who no other can punish) to see fools to punish themselves, and lash themselves with their own rod, it satisfies indignation, (where charity abounds not) but deserves no compassion, Do not such sigh in secret, (for their complaints are but rare to others, because the error comes back upon themselves) and wish they had married as deformed, as poor and meanly bred as themselves. Do they not envy the ease and welfare that equal couples enjoy, such as make much of each other, by the sympathy of each others defectiveness or parity.  
Another branch of reproof concerns them that despise the rule of equal matches. 
Branch 2.  Now what comes of these unequals, 
Repose.  that widows of estates must marry their horsekeepers, 
Contemners of equal marnage reproved.  and Gentlemen their cook-maids, but this, that to cover over their baseness, they must lay out their means to buy arms, and titles of honour: or if not, yet enhanse their Farms, rack their rents, rake and scrape all they can get (whereas their predecessors lived nobly upon their means, and kept good houses) and all to purchase estate, and purchase equality. What is this, save to become the scorns of the Country? Is it not due penance for violating the sacred condition of equality? I might here inveigh against the usual matches now adays made between boys and girls, scarce yet out of their shells: but better occasion will offer itself afterward.  
Use 3 But to draw towards an end, let me exhort first such as are to enter into this estate; 
Exportation.  to whom I sing the former song, Marry in the Lord, 
Affecters of of unequal marriages learn to be wiser.  still, but marry aptly, and lay the ground of honour in this entering with aptness. Be not led away with that error, which you set up as an idol, in your conceits: bless not yourselves with your supposed happiness, as if you were by so much the more honourable, than others of your rank, by how much you have gotten a richer match they they; or because your marriage hath pearkt you aloft, above your own condition, or theirs of whom you descend. No wise Parents joy in their children's unequal marriages: let the model of such as are the most modest in your rank and order, be precedents for you. I am not so weak as to think, that education, breed, learning and gifts, (although there be no great means) deserve not good marriages, religion concurring: but set not up your topsails, and do not bear up yourselves above your worth, in this respect; but wait upon God, and be modest, lest he pull you down as fast: 
Rom. 12. 16.  dwell at home, affect not high things; if God have indeed a blessing for you in this kind (for else a great match may prove too hot and too heavy to manage) let God lay it in your lap, ere you affect it, and let your goodness find you out, while you lie hid. And when it's offered you, yet swell not, say with David, marrying Michal, Seemeth it small? had I not need to look well about me? and with David, marrying Michal, Seemeth it small? had I not need to look well about me? and with Abigail sent for to David, Let me wash the feet of the servants of my Lord! 
1. Sam. 18. 23.  go from the dignity to the burden, take thought how to live with such an one, of greater breed and estate than yourselves: consider what affronts may meet with you (the best will save itself: 
1. Sam. 25. 41. ) are you fit to drink of this bitter cup, if discontents should come into the place of peace and love, whiles the one is loath to stoop to the others lowness, and the other fears offence if he should suffer it? Better it were to desist early, 
Matt. 20. 22.  then to bring a perpetual vexation upon yourselves too late: beg of God humble and wise demeanour, even all unequalness by religious carriage, and self denial, lest your preferment prove a penalty, rather than a privilege; otherwise, as he said of his Diadem, he would not have it for the taking up (as being fuller of care then comfort) who knew the sorrow of it.  
Secondly, 
Branch 2.  to them who already live under this yoke of inequality, 
Counsel to such as are already unaptly married.  I advise the same which I did to them who are under an inequality of religion; look back to that Section, and read it. Only this let me add here; since your unsuitableness came from your own wilfulness; do that now which you ought before to have done (somewhat out of season perhaps, 
jam. 4. 10.  but better late than never;) humble yourselves under God's afflicting hand; remember it is unjust you should fret against Providence, and your lot in that, which out of your own choice and freewill, you have brought upon yourselves. Keep to yourselves that straightness and pinching, which is only or chiefly known to yourselves. To live like malcontents, upbraiding each other, and quarrelling with God, is not only most sinful, but a disease worse than the remedy itself: seeing the time was, wherein you seemed each to other, the most precious of all; its reason that now you make the best of a bad bargain, and of each other. If then beauty, wealth, or the like objects, so bleared your eyes, that you forgot the rule of equality; reremember you have finned not only against your own souls, but even against them whom you have unequally married, who in another equal way, might perhaps have lived much better and contentedlier, than now they do; with companions of their own fashion: so that you should doubly wrong them by your discontents. Rather look up to God by faith and repentance for your error, that it may be covered, and that God's anger being removed, you may find your yoke as tolerable as an unequal one may be. And as once a grave man said to one in this case, if God ever offer you a new choice, beware lest you stumble at the stone, which once foiled you. And so much of this second general also, and of the whole direction serving for the entrance into an honourable marriage; now we proceed to that which remaineth in the next Chapter.   

CHAP. IU.  
A Digression touching consent of Parents, and sundry Questions and Objections answered.  
I should now proceed to the second general head, 
Occasion of this digression.  whereof I made an honourable marriage to consist: viz. Continuance therein in an holy manner. 
For handling of Consent of Parents, and a Contract.  But I am occasioned to stop my course a while, for the space of this, and the next chapter: because an hint of new matter being offered in the former discourse, touching consent of Parents, and the contracting of the Couples: it will be looked for, that somewhat be here said, about both, ere I wade any further in this Argument. Of the former thereof in this fourth, and of the latter (if God please) in the fifth, 
Consent of Parents necessary for marriage, and why?  and then we return. Touching this former, consent of Parents, if I should go about to make any set proofs of so generally a confessed truth, which all ages, nations, histories, laws both divine and humane, common, civil, yea cannon too (though with exception) with one voice have averred: I might seem not only to add light to the Sun, but to weaken that which I would strengthen: yet for order and forms sake, a word or two may be premised for the necessity thereof, I say necessity in a way of God, though not absolute: for this business of marriage without parent's consent is one of them, which ought not to have been done, yet being done, must avail, for the avoiding of worse consequences: that is, consent is not so essential to marriage as some other things are, that the non-concurrence thereof should disannul it again. But in a moral and meet way, its necessary that marriage be attempted with consent of parents. And surely, if those heathen Laws seemed just which yielded unto parent's power of life and death, over their children (supposing perhaps that love might well enough be trusted) and thought it meet enough, that they who were the instruments of giving children their natural life, might be permitted to be judges of the same children, in taking it away; or perhaps rather choosing, that a parent might kill a vicious child for some offences, than the child kill the heart of a parent, by his dissoluteness: then surely much more may it be yielded to parents to have power to give life or to mar their marriages. I do not by the way justify the former law, but rather think it was a dangerous snare, and betrayed the lives of many innocents', into the hands of the unmerciful; and no doubt, if it were in force among us, it would provoke many profane and malicious persons, to shed the blood of better children than themselves. But I plead the far greater equity of this law, that parents may claim a right in the choice of their children's marriages. Must parents have the worst of it, and be debarred from the best? bear the burden of the whole day; the providing for their children, all means of support, education, either ingenuous or machinall, help them to Arts, Stocks, trades, which is but to be their drudges, if there were no more but so; and shall they leave them just at the point of marriage, and betake them to their own wisdom and counsel? No surely, it's good cause they share in the honour, as well as the labour.  
It it true, 
Parents cannot do as they would in matching of their children.  God makes matches, and parents cannot (as they desire) in such a world as this is (wherein all are for their own ends) provide for their children such contentful matches as they desire, but that's not their fault. God must help, or else they cannot, with the barn and winepress. But yet in such matches as are offered, parents must bear sway & stroke with their children: though it is not in their power to afford them such as they wish, yet this must not cause them to give up their Authority to their children to marry as they lift, against rules, mentioned. And that which I say of parents themselves, 
Guardians and governor's are to look to their orphans, as well as parents to children, in point of marriage.  I say of Father or Mother in laws, Guardians and Tutors, who by them, or by the law, are left to oversee and order the ways of Children, not yet able to guide themselves; yea although they be of such years and discretion, as perhaps a parent, at least a stepfather, might permit them to themselves. Yet it were the duty of such a child, to take less rather then more upon himself, and to advise seriously with them (ere he finish aught) whether he have been well guided or no about marrying religiously, or aptly: Some parents, I grant, have exceedingly wasted their Title, and infringed their Prerogative: for, such is their ignorance, and injudiciousness in such affairs, (having in truth never understood, in any degree, what their own marriage meant, much less are fit to guide others:) also many are so vicious, and so debauched with sin, that they have lost all ability to advise, either in this, or in any other weighty business; but yet neither are these to be despised, but to be honourably handled, and especially, if they shall desire to see and judge with other men's eyes and brains; their children are to yield thereto as well as to themselves. What special reports do the Scriptures make, 
See these texts Deut. 7. 3.  of that care which holy and wise parents had of their children's marriages? How did Abraham adjure his servant, 
jer. 29 6.  to go to the house of his fathers, to choose a wife for Isaac? 
Gen. 24. 3, 4.  How doth the holy Ghost brand Esau for matching without Isaac and his mother Rebecca their consent, 
Exod. 22. 16.  to the heartbreake of them? How doth Isaac and Rebecca charge jacob to meddle with none of the Heathens? And, if any prerogative might have exempted any, than might Samson a judge in Israel, 
judg. 14. 3.  have been exempt: who yet was not: for although it came from God that he should marry that uncircumcized Philistin; yet he would have his parents give their consent, Give me her: and when they saw the way of God, they ceased. But till then, they argued as parents should do, what? is there no wife to be chosen for thee out of any of the families of Israel, but thou must seek among the Philistines? 
Verse 4, 5.  Not so much as Hagar that bond woman, but it's said, that she took a wife for Ishmael, out of the land of Egypt: 
Gen. 21. 21.  as if the holy Ghost should take it as granted, that none of the Church should question it. If a son might not alienate his father's goods, without his consent, there least of all himself.  
I say, 
Further proof of the point.  the Scripture testifies from the beginning, that this authority did reside in the parent, from God. God himself the father of Adam, Luc. 3 ult. brought Eve to him: he did not seek her himself. A great and leading ground to the point. And this prerogative God derived to parents (notwithstanding the fall and forfeit of Adam) for ever. See Deut. 7. 3. Thou shalt not take to thy sons, any wife of their daughters. I●rem. 29. 6. Give your children wives. And Paul, He who gives his virgin to marriage doth well. etc. Neither is it sufficient which Bellarmine, (the chiefest Papist of all who opposeth this truth in his 19 cap. of Matrimony, and that out of the Council of Trent, Session 14. for most of other Papists do oppose him in it) replies, that this text only implies, Marriages ought not to be made without the privity of parents: for God's charge doth not only show what ought to be done, but, that else the Marriage is frustrate, as appears Exod. 22. 16. Where it is left to the parent to deny Marriage in a case of uncleanness, which else urged Marriage. Much more than in cool blood. See also Numb. 30. 4. If a parent might frustrate a vow to God, much more a private civil act of his child to marry. Neither is this meant (as Bellarmine dreams) of a Maid under years, but simply of one under covert: though of 20. years old: and so the Hebrew word [Nagnar] is taken job. 1. 19 and so another jesuit upon this text confesseth, a parent might frustrate any vow whatsoever. 
Cornel. à Lap.  See Gal. 4. A son differs not from a servant, being under his father: he can dispose of nothing in the house, of his father's goods, without consent: how much less himself, who is the foundation of the family, as in the Hebrew word [Ban] notes? Another Papist, Espencaeus in his book of clandestine marriages professeth the like against Bellarmine in the last Chapter save one. Heathens have constantly been of this mind. Gen. 34. Sichem craves of Hamor to get him Dinah. Catullus, Plautus, Terence, Latin Poets, Sophocles a Greek one, all both Comic and Tragic, who speak the customs of their times, do intimate the same. One of them brings in the father distasting his son for a clandestine marriage, 
Terent. Andr. Scen. 3.  thus, Callst thou me thy father? Needst thou me for a father? Hast thou not found thee out, a family, a wife and children against my mind? The son answers. I yield up myself (father) to thee, impose any task, command me what thou wilt; Wilt thou have me divorce the wife I have? Wilt thou have me marry or not? I will bear it as I may. Justinian shows the meaning of the civil law, lib. 1. Instit. Tit. de Nuptiis. Then are marriages good, when made by consent of such, as whose power they are under: it is Beza his speech, in his Tract of Polygamy and Divorces: Civil laws about necessity of parent's consent, are more known, more clear, more holy, then that any man can be ignorant of them, can darken, or can abolish them. Paulus the Civilian in his Title, touching the right of marriages, saith, Marriages cannot consist, except all in whose power the parties are, consent. Hottoman a famous Civilian speaks the same, in his book of chaste marriages, part. 4. The Council of Eliberis, mentions the judicial law of Moses, confirming it: If a Damosel have bound herself by oath or promise in her father's house, and he gainsay it, it's frustrate. A Canon of Basil addeth, marriages otherwise made, are counted but whoredoms. I conclude with Erasmus, no Scripture, no Testimony of value can be alleged against this Truth. If it be asked, whether upon the father's consenting, the mother descent from the marriage: or contrary wise▪ what is to be said? I answer, The mother's consent makes for the better being, but the fathers for the being itself thereof: for he is the head of the wife and of the family.  
Use 1 This may be a sufficient confutation of Bellarmine, and the Council of Trent (his Idol, 
Confut.  which its like he so adored, that against Scripture and all Laws he defends it) who doth so stervingly maintain the lawfulness of Marriages against parent's consent, that there need be no more to confute him, than the barrenness of his own defence, in which he always returns to his old song, that though Nature teach Parents right, yet, not the disannulling of Marriages upon non-consent. Touching which I answer, Many reasons may enforce the continuance of a thing done (especially in so weighty a case as this) which yet argues not the well doing; that is all the question. He urges the examples of jacob and Tobija: whereas the one (although sixty years old at his marriage) yet did nothing without his father and mother's consent. Tobija (if the Text were Canonical) had an Angel with him to guide him extraordinarily. Indeed Esau's example he may plead for it (with an ill handsel) who its like went against Isaac and Robecca's charge. Much good do him with it. He allegeth a Decree of Clement, A son is not compelled to follow his parent's choice. Who doubts it? But, doth this follow, A parent may not compel his children to marry against their will: Therefore a child may marry contrary to the Parents? No surely. That which he adds out of Ambrose, she may choose her husband, ought she not to prefer God in her choice? comes to no more than this, That a Virgin hath power to choose (at least to refuse her husband) but yet with parent's consent. The argument he brings from the validity of the marriage of slaves against their master's consent, and that, upon the ground of the institution and ends of marriage, is doubly answered: first, that it is true, Masters cannot bar their slaves of marriage, but yet they may limit the right of Nature, by appointing them wives, for avoiding wrong to their own estates. Secondly, the case between masterlike power, is not like to parental: for the power of the former is only civil, and therefore may be restrained by law; but the other is natural, and therefore need no restraint: since it's to be supposed that parents desire the posterity and marriages of their children, much more than masters need do of servants. As touching that objection, that after copulation marriages are necessary; this proves not, that the power of parents is dissolved, (for what absurdity is it for one to think, that his second sin should favour and justify his former offence?) But that, for divers inevitable consequences upon the breach of a marriage already made, it is better for a parent not to use his right, then to use it. It's the voice of the Law, Fieri non debuit, sed factum valuit. So much for this.  
Yet as there is no rule so general, 
Exceptions against this general rule.  but it admits exceptions, so doth this. One is, the bar of God's law, in case of uncleanness committed by the parties before marriage: 
Exod. 22. 16.  in which respect God forbade that they should by any means be parted: so that here parents consent was, though not wholly, yet partly prevented, not in right, but in point of honesty, by their lewd children, who forced a necessity of marriage upon themselves, being become as outcasts, not worthy of such care of parents to be cast upon them: besides it was to prevent beggary of the bastards, and the defiling of the land by fornication, if they had been permitted to cashier such as they had defiled, and to marry chaste persons: for, its better one house be troubled, than two, (since one must be) let them eat of the fruit of their own labours, and thank themselves. The law is mentioned by Moses, If a man finding a maid, defile her, he shall surely marry her, because he hath humbled her. Another case is, the supine neglect of parents, when as they see offers made to their children: to wit, when as they permit parties unknown, and pretending to be such as afterwards they prove not, but tainted with lewd qualities, and of no such estate as is made show of: I say, when as, through foolish credulity they believe all shows, or use not means to inquire throughly after their manners and deserts, but are cheated by their dissembling and hypocrisy: but all this while they harbour them, or seeing that their children are forward in their affections toward such, so, that they are ensnared: and yet the parents suffer matters to pass on, and hold their peace: then the rule of the word ought to be observed, That consent is employed by their silence: and why? because he, in whose power it is to stop evil, and yet doth not, seems to command it. Not only if there appear no more cause of breaking it off, then at first, (for then it is only the headstrong will of the parent, unjustly discontent) but, although there should break out more hideous and odious crimes against the party. For it was the parent's duty to have used all diligence to have searched out the truth of things at first, 
Duty of parents towards children unwisely suffered to link themselves.  and to have made all other matters clear, before such time as liberty be given to the parties themselves to ensnare themselves. For by this means it may so fall out, that extreme danger may ensue, both to the party deserted, and to them that desert. Yet this I add, that all means be wisely used, to unstitch and dissolve that league by degrees, which hath long been in knitting, rather than to do it rashly. Let parents present to both the parties their deep dissimulation, persuading them, between themselves, rather to break off, then incur a tolerable vexation by marriage; and live at perpetual feud with them, who seek their best welfare. But, if nothing will prevail, I say, as sad as the necessity is, yet the parent comes in too late with alleging his prerogative. If (saith the holy Ghost) a virgin hath vowed a vow, 
Num. 30. 4.  (say it be a purpose to marry such a man) much more if such a likelihood be daily presented to his eye; and he forbid it, than he doth no more than his authority may claim, for he is a parent, and may disannul it: but if he let it pass, and do not gainsay it, he is supposed to resign up his right in refusing, and so to establish it.  
Another case is, 
Another exception.  in second marriages of children, men or women. For although there be a difference of judgement in sexes, yet, in this both are reputed to have equal liberty to match themselves, and to be discharged from the power of the parent. The first marriage made the parties one flesh, and divided them both from the parent's house and authority. So that in such a case the rule holds not. Paul doth not extend the power of a parent over a widow, as to a virgin. In the latter, he always yields to a father his liberty: if he give his virgin to marry, or refuse to give her, he doth well both ways: that is, foreseeing the danger of persecution, and withal knowing the strength of his virgin, 
1 Cor. 6. 36.  that she is not necessitated to marry, he may refuse, or otherwise he may yield; he offends in neither. But after one marriage is expired, the widow is not so tied, because providence hath settled her upon her own right. Howbeit, for the weaker sex, the case so falling out that she may stand in as much need of counsel at last as at first, yea of more: this I say. That it were the part of such widows to remember that they are children, and to ascribe a reverential and honourable esteem of their parent's counsel, out of wisdom and discretion, although a precise command of God do not absolutely urge it.  
Lastly, 
Parents must observe the condition of their children.  parents must still look at the main point, that is, the condition and state of a childes both body and mind. For a parent understanding the case to be such, that a child cannot without deep discontent of spirit, and inconvenience of body, propending strongly to marriage, and shunning those continual and noisome vexations, which would attend the contrary; I say, cannot abstain: then, his authority not being allowed him, for the tyranny and hurt, but the good and welfare of his child, he ought not unseasonably and rigidly to dispute his right, or to hold it; but tenderly and wisely to release it, at the child's humble instance. And this I might also press in other cases as well as this. But because they will occur better upon objections brought against this point: I will stop two gaps with one bush, that is, both lay down the extent of this exception, and also answer a question, both in one.  
For why? 
children's objections against parent's carelessness in their marriages, answered.  here it is objected by sundry children (as I touched before) that, as near as they can, they observing the rules of God, in religious and apt choice, and being now to strike up the match, they say, The parents or guardians (at least of one side) wilfully withdraw their consent. To whom I must answer with much caution, for the safegarding of a parents honour: First, ye children beware lest you put any unjust affront upon your parents, that may cause this rigour you complain of, and open their mouths against you. For if you do, their cause must be heard when you must stand by. Put case that it fall out that your match be not faulty, after your trial of each other: howbeit you upon the presumption thereof have been your own carvers, and carried all with your own wits, leaving your parents to serve your turn after: and hereupon the parent being offended, looks not so much at the fitness of the match, as at his own contempt: who can in such a case justify you? In this case, especially if the parents be irreligious, and unable to value the price of a good husband or wife, I see not what course you should take, but to humble yourselves for your offence, considering in your own case, how unwilling you would have been to be so served. Parents, I grant, should not only hearken to, but run and ride to seek out good matches for their children, if any occasion be offered, and yet many of them are so stout, peevish, self-willed and envious, that of all other matches, they will cross them most which are the best. But yet, you children, cross not them, by forcing unequal conditions upon parents, in consenting to your marriages. Although you be granted to be religious, yet it becomes not you to think so well of yourselves, that being unequal in state and stock, or in other respects, you will force the marriage of one that hath great means, under colour of religion. For in this case a parent is not bound, but hath his excuse. If God should move a parent in this case, considering how few are religious or thrifty, to match their children underfoot for the world in respect of grace, it is well and good: embrace their good will thankfully. But to obtrude your own worth upon their affections, 
Counsel to such children.  you ought not: whether the parents be religious or not. The like I say, if the disproportion lie in any other kind: This by way of digression; that children be sure of it, that their matches be consonant and agreeable to the rule; for they may be godly, and yet not apt matches. But to answer the question, as it lies, If I say your matches be truly equal, yet your parents will not yield: Then, first, Let such children count it the cross, that they are fallen upon such parents; let them not domineer over them, and outshoote the devil in his own bow, of resolution and stomach; but humbly submit to the parents, as parents in general, seeking by all means to win their love and respect, first or last, by your obedience and wellpleasing: that they may see it and say, My child ●s as careful to give me content, as to serve his own turn. And (if need require) let such friends be used by way of mediation, as may best allay their opposite minds, showing them the ill consequents thereof: And lastly set on the Lord also to encounter their untractable hearts, humbly supplicating that he would turn the hearts of fathers to the children, 
Mal. 4. ult.  to melt them, and to give them the eyes of Doves, instead of Crocodiles. If all these prevail not, then (the discipline of the Church being in force) course ought to be taken to make complaint of such wrong, 
Parents obstinate in consent, to be kerbed.  viz. that a parent abuseth his or her authority to hurt, and therefore implore the aid both of the Church and of the Magistrate, to reduce parents into due order: for they themselves must know, that they are under Authority, and no further made the judges over the children, 
Matt. 8.  then as they can answer to God for their good carriage therein. And so also to require such a child's portion from them, as in such case is fit: But, if children cannot meet with such relief, I leave them under the cross which God hath cast upon them, to take it up meekly and bear it, 
Mat. 16. 25.  till God ease their chain. But, if the father consent and the mother only be obstinate, they may with good conscience notwithstanding proceed, yielding all due respect to her. So much for this.  
Another question here moved is this. 
Questions about Parent's consent, answered.  Put case that two parties have got the affections of each other, but the father on his deathbed, dissent and forbid the marriage: whether is the conscience of the child absolutely so tied by those irrevocable words, that he or she may not dare to attempt marriage? I answer, that child which out of an honourable respect shall wholly forbear, for fear of after scruples; or shall piously incline to forbear, doubtless they bewray a very awful heart to the counsel of their parent, especially if they be convinced of an overruling providence determining the business. But to affirm directly, that a child is always bound to obey in such a case, I dare not. Many circumstances must be observed, next to the rule: and therefore first I shall think it fit in this business, that the parties resign up themselves to the judgement of some wise and impartial men, who (without playing booty) may judge whether such a marriage be according to God, or not. If not, they ought so much the rather to dissolve it, as being not only contrary to parents will, but Gods rule also. And then there is no more to be said in it: for a pious child ought not to violate such a band as this, upon any affection to the other party, or like pretence. But if the marriage be found good and equal: then ought it not to be broken off, through the parent's refusal at his death: But the will of God being conceived to be for it, the parents will must not contradict his. And hereto add, that it must indifferently be enquired, first whether the parent were a man truly judicious to pronounce such a sentence? else sure its a deadly snare. Again whether in his life he permitted the parties to consort in ordinary, till they had won each others heart: for in that case, his denial is doubly injust: especially if he have actually given consent during life, and changed it without ground. Also whether he were not alike various in other his conversation, easily drawn to or fro by small persuasion: Likewise whether he have not in other of his children's matches, been hardly drawn to consent, no real cause of his dissent appearing: whether refusal might not proceed from some other sinister cause, and not the dislike of the match itself; as from privity to his weak estate, loath to disburse much, ashamed to come short of the world's expectation for discredit sake, or the like. If probably these things do appear, I think the bare religion of the father's last sentence, ought not to prevail against more forcible reasons to the contrary: and upon the weighing of these cases, the parties ought to think that they hear the voice of God, to bear down the parents: Although the dead parent, cannot alter his words, yet it may be supposed he would have altered it, if he had lived, because he ought. For this so much. If any more questions arise, I will handle them in some of the uses following, which now I hasten unto. And whereas they do concern both children in point of duty, and parents in point of dignity, first of the first.  
Use. 1 And first here is bitter reproof, yea aror, to all such refractory children, 
Reproof.  as have not only digressed from, but directly transgressed against this rule. 
Terror to all rebellious Children, who marry against their Parent's consent.  If the duty of children be so manifest, how is it, that so many children do at once break through this divine edict, as great flies through cobwebs, by the stronger laws of their own wills? Do you so degenerate (Oye imps) from all modesty and obedience? That whereas you might marry, not only within the rank of your education, but also of religion, and the fear of God; now through your wilful contempt of parents, not only you choose you unequal husbands among Ostlers and Scavengers, (for these are honest trades according to their places) but to graceless ones, and such as are deservedly bywords of reproach for their swearing, drunkenness and all profaneness? Is this a parents requital at your hands, that when there is no other trouble, that should bring the grey hairs of your parents to their graves, than the treachery of those which came out of their Ioines and wombs should do it? For, as for the beggary you bring upon yourselves, who should pity them, who wrong themselves willingly, and choose themselves such a portion? Oh! but (say some of these) we did it in a sudden passion of love, and is not that to be pitied? I answer, considering what constant misery, your short passion hath procured you, yourselves are like to have the worst of it: it were well, if others would learn to be wiser by pitying your folly. But, there is more in it then passion. For why? How many of such rebellious ones do we meet with daily, who contrary to all their parents counsels, letters, running and riding after them, threats if they venture, promises if they obey, notwithstanding all the fears and jealousies, warnings and watchwords of their parents, 
Cavils of such Children answered, as will be loose in du●ty to their Parent's consent: yet will have their parents tied to them, in means and maintenance.  yet with deep dissembling and lies, count it their chief happiness to keep off the suspicion of that from their notice, which yet all on the sudden they dare rush upon, the most clandestine and desperate matches that may be! yea, after they have engaged themselves to their parents by vows and obtestations to the contrary, that they thought they might rely upon them, Esa. 63. 10. as children that will not lie, yet then have they broken through all bands; Isay, what is this, but the depth of subtlety and villainy? But still they object, The business was so suddenly brought to pass by persuasion, as we could not prevent it. Why? Do you wonder that your way should be so smooth, having such a factor of hell as you consult with, to promote it? Such Proctors as for a ten shillings matter will licence it, for half so much dispatch it, and send you packing to woe and misery? No, no, Thiefs shall never want receivers and concealers. But, still you will say, It should not have been done, but now it's done and passed; 'tis true, it's done strongly enough, I grant, for parents must digest that which they cannot vomit; But the necessity of the knot excuses not the knitting. And, you shall have many lookers on upon such matches, who will speak much for them; the case being none of their own, who, if it were their own lot to have such children, would be ready to cast the first stone at them, 
joh. 9 5.  and of all others, be most implacable with them. To whom I say, justify not sin in others, suspend your censure till it be your own lot, as its like to be the sooner, if you excuse it.  
Oh! but for pity sake, you must now help them with some means to maintain them in a hard world! why? will not love alone maintain you in cool blood, as well as it did in hot? what? have you forsaken your parents in the main, and come you now unto them for the by? shall you have the pleasure, and they the burden? Alas you divide badly! Nay, nay, you must hold to you to what you have chosen; 
Parents may be shy to disobedient Children, and why?  Parents have but small joy to maintain thiefs and traitors with their means and estate, it cost them more the getting, than your easy matches cost you. But still they allege, Would you have God deal so hardly with you, when you repent? I answer, God forbid, but (if there be any sound repentance wrought in you) you should be as freely pardoned, as we ourselves desire to be forgiven of God But if you think to tie God to your sleeves so far to follow you with grace and repentance as fast as you sin, or to accept of that for sound, which you say is so, you much mistake it: he knoweth well if he should thus easily be baffled by one, he should have enough▪ of your custom for ever. But still you insist: Let us be accepted to favour as before. I answer, It's a greater matter than so. If we could as easily purge your hearts, as pardon you, we would imitate God, who doth both at once. But since we cannot, we must deal with you as David dealt with Absalon, though upon a show of submission, he forgave him the punishment, yet (by your leave) he commanded him to his house, and received him not to favour. 
2. Sam. 14. 24.  And as David wisely abstained from that in discretion, for fear of nourishing up the rest of his children to the like treachery: so parents had need rather to set up such children as Beacons to the rest of their fry, to scare them from the like attempts, than (as many fools do) by over hasty reconciliation, under hope of their repentance, to encourage them to tread in the like steps. There will be time enough for that when they have bitten longer upon the bridle, and had leisure to repent that in coolness which in their heat they committed. And so much for this first Branch.  
It also confutes the practice of such children, 
Branch 2.  as, although they will seem to rely upon the consent of parents, 
Dissembled and forced consent of Parents by children, is sinful.  and cannot be condemned by men in the business, yet it's not out of any honour or obsequiousness to parents, from conscience of the duty, or beholding God's authority in them: but from policy and necessity, because they know the parent is the purse-bearer: and as the proverb saith, Be it better or worse, we must be ruled by him that bears the purse. These may say of themselves as he once did, I swear with my mouth, but I carry an unsworne heart within me; so, in fact I yield, but my heart is unloyall. So that (they say) they must be well advised, for fear of overthrowing all. If their parents should take a pritch at their neglect, they might lose a future friend, and forfeit the hopes of their own good estate: and how then should they do? This is the pad in straw, this forces the eye of many children to be upon their parents, and to make them a grand mark or object of their duty. 
Galat. 6. 4.  I say to you, as in another sense Paul speaks, Let every man have the cause of his own comfort within himself, and not without: let not the duty of a child be resident upon the father's ability, to benefit him, or to cross him: so that a parent may thank his wealth for his child's service, and say, If it had not been silvered or guilded over, it would never have proved. But, let it proceed from sincerity. Some will say, 
Rom. 12. 9  It's well that it comes any way. I answer: Half a loaf is better than no bread: for by this means order is kept in conversation, and many absurdities held off, though there be no thank to them for their obedience. For, surely if such children could draw from their parents what they listed to fish from them, as that Prodigal did, 
Luc. 15. 12.  with a word speaking, they would soon bid duty adieu, and cut out the cloth in their own fashion, marrying as they list: wherefore yield this honour to thy parents entirely, as their due: Be humbled if it have not been so; make your peace with God for this, as well as for any offence else whatsoever; else God may exercise thee by some unwelcome buffetting, to thy cost, and perhaps make thee to behold that sin which thou wert blinded in, in the glass of like disobedience of thy child to thee, yea such a child, as (of all others) thou presumedst would be most faithful to thee; 
Matt. 7. 2.  Do as th●u wouldst be done unto; measure out to others as thou wouldst have them to measure back unto thee. So much for this second.  
Thirdly, 
Branch 3.  this taxes other children also, who will perhaps suffer their parents to carry some stroke with them in their matches, 
Half consent of parents, or con●ent af●er their contract, is faulty.  but themselves will have the chief hand in it, and it must come in after the matter concluded between themselves. And then, at last, lest they should incur the reproach of refractory ones, they temporize and flatter their parents, causing them first to think well of, and then to ratify their marriages; rather indeed to salve their own credit, and for necessity sake, then because they are willing. These counterfeit actors and forces of consent, (as if it were voluntary) sin against the rule of Consent of parents: Shall a child bind the parent to the good abearing in this kind, and then by his consent, countenance and shroud his own act, in itself unwarrantable? Consent is the parents due: but whiles thou dost urge it unjustly, thou makest it thine own work. Thou either dost persuade thy parent really to think well of thy doing, and that's to gull him: or else only to make show of it, and that's to make him equivocate like thyself.  
Use 2 Shortly therefore, I exhort all couples that intent marriage, to lay away all covers of shame, 
Exhortation to marry with Consent of Parents.  to remove all colours, shifts, subornations of parents, and go to work plainly, deserve, sue, seek for the consent of parents. Leave is light, and sweet: liberty against rule is pleasant in the taste, but bitterness is in the end of it. Remember that is the best marriage, whose sweetness is best in the bottom: a natural motion is swiftest in the end: now commonly matches of your own making, are best at first, and worst after. Aim at so peaceable a marriage, as may be so in a sad strait and affliction, and may not pursue and accuse a man, when he is wounded and sore: such an one as will not upbraid the soul, and say, This day I remember my sin: and I feel this rod was of mine own making. That which Paul speaks of the Magistrate, Obey him not for compulsion, but for conscience sake, for he bears not the sword in vain: so here, For the parent represents not God in vain, and his voice is the voice of heaven: Better err with a parent then do well without him. It shall be as health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones: it shall procure blessing from thy parent, whose curse is worse than a Popes with book, bell, and Candle. Obey them who are set over you, for good, for their sorrow will not be your joy: you provide ill in grieving them. Esau and his race were Lord Dukes for many ages: but his profane contemning and vexing of Rebecca with his wives, lost him his birthright, and at the last cost him ruin. Honour thy father and mother therefore, that thy days may be long in the land which the Lord hath given thee. Say thou deny thyself a little in this: say thou must conflict with a crabbed untractable parent, yet behold God in a parent, when thou canst not in a good one: win him by humility, contest not, a father's spirit will not endure it: duty may overcome and break his heart, but wilful opposition will mar all. And I speak not this only in case of young couples, living under their parent's roof, but in what distance soever they live. Nor, in case only that the parent be wise, solid, judicious, holy: for such a one claims it by many respects: but, even when ●eely, when unwise, irreligious, and obstinate. The good parent may pray for thy success, as well as endow and enrich thee. But the bad and preposterous cannot forfeit his right to his child, though he may disable it: he must have the honour of thy consent, though thou canst not enjoy the good of it. Above all, let religious children beware of prevarication in this kind; calling in question their sincerity this way: yea, though they meet with many rubs in their way: yet let them by their good conversation, prevail with parents, and seek God to break and mollify their parents spirits, rather than to exasperate. Yea, let mothers have this honour as well as fathers: perhaps they can better advise: howsoever, they have merited this honour as well as fathers. Yea let all such as are set in place of such by marriage of own parents, all tutors, guardians, and governor's share in this kind. Think not that your youth and wit can see further in this kind than theirs: children will say that old folk dote, and are fools: but old ones know that children are so: 
1. Sam. 25.  God hath given them as props, therefore desoise them not. And to end, I say unto you as Abigail to David, It shall not grieve you one day, but much comfort you, that you have not made sad a loving parent. You shall never have cause to repent you. 
Pro. 10.  The way of the Lord (saith Solomon) is strength to them that walk uprightly. The word of God (saith Mica) is good to him that is upright, 
Mica. 2.  Though there were no reward for it, yet there is reward enough, even in this, I have denied myself, and obeyed. So much for this former branch, the duty of children to parents herein.  
The second branch concerns the dignity of parents. 
Branch 2.  They must conceive, 
Dignity of parents.  that even in their privilege there lieth a duty too, to God, to the child. They must say as the Centurion did, 
Use of reproof to them that neglect the care of their Children.  I myself am under authority. Therefore here is sad reproof to parents, for a world of abuses. Truly most parents may thank themselves for their children's disrespect in this kind: they never sought to nurture them up in God's fear: to inform and teach them in the trade of God's way, or their own: But either out of a foolish affection and pity, will never see aught amiss in them, as Adonija and Absalon were to David: (and the fruit was suitable:) or a great and false opinion they have of their children's dexterity and sufficiency in this kind, which is the high way to their ruin: or else they offend in a base and degenerate softness, which hinders them from maintaining their authority in their children's hearts: Too much familiarity begets contempt: and if a servant over cockered, will look to be as a child, then will a child look to be hail fellow well met with a parent. There is a mediocrity between excess of rigour in many parents, 
Parents must go in a middle way between ●●usterity, and f●lly towards their Children.  whereby they are so dark and aloof from their children, as if they were some other men's children, and their slaves; (which imbreeds bad thoughts of them, base qualities of servility and hollowness in children, and exasperates their spirits against them:) It causes children to think themselves slighted, and as in other points, so in marriage, as if parents were too high to take thought for it. Difference (I say) there is between austerity, and the contrary extreme, of foolish familiarity. For by this, children grow so saucy and effeminated, that they think it almost ridiculous to question it, whether their parents will consent to their choices: because they have been wont to be soothed in all, by them, and never crossed. Paul saith well to young Timothy, see that no man despise thee. So I to old parents. Do nothing which which might forfeit thy authority into the hand of thy Boy, or Girl. Of all such I say, as old Jacob to Reuben, Thy dignity is gone. Lay the foundation, O parent, of that privilege, which thou wouldst preserve to thyself, in the wise menaging of thy child's spirit while he is young and tender; for that's the season of leavening him with such principles, as must work after.  
Other parents so love their ease and vacation from care and solicitude, 
B●se shifts and respects of Parents in disregard of their Children.  that, rather than they would take the pains, they choose to commit all to wind and weather, leave all to the will of the children, hit they, or miss they, they care not. Do we know (say they) what will fit and content our children, what woman they would fancy, or distaste? If we should negotiate in this work, our children perhaps, would beshrew us, for ever after, and never love us more. We for our parts have given ourselves content in our wives and matches, and we have done well (God be thanked) and so (we hope) may they also. Surely you teach your children good divinity. They see small religion serves your turn, and you are better without it, then with it: and they see, that if they should marry any better than the parents, the goodness of a wife would be but a superflous object to them, if not a continual eyesore, and therefore they tread in their steps, like child strives to give content to like parent.  
Other parents are also so inconstant in their humours, and aims at their children's matches, that they can never come to a point with themselves about them: Their hearts are carnal, and therefore never satisfied. For, either on the one side, they are so wedded to the penny, that (although they very well might) they are loath to part with any thing, for the present, to procure competent portions for the children: Or else, they seeing their estate too narrow for their proud hearts, and scorning that they should match their children no better, than they can; forbear altogether to yield consent to any: though the years and desires of the poor children crave it: Or else they aim at such portions for their heirs, for the helping forward of their daughter's matches, or else look at such concurrences of birth and parts, that scarce any can please them. Others are accessary to their children's bad matches, by their unprevention and dalliance: (as before hath been spoken) and permitting their children unseasonable commerce and long acquaintance with such, as they know to be suitable companions, cannot break them off after, when they would, because they are snared. Others are too satagent and busy about their children's matches, for they being led by no grounds nor sound reasons, but fancy, do persuade their children to such matches, as become most snaring and uncomfortable to them for ever after, selling them to sorrow.  
Neither are parents guilty only about the match itself, 
A contrary extreme of parents in overmuch love to Children.  but also the consequence thereof. For why? through their indiscreet love to their welfares, and their ambitious desires for their children's enhaunsments, they grant greater jointures to their eldest then their estates will permit, and so damnify the rest of their better deserving children, and either must run themselves into endless debts by borrowing for them, or else be at their courtesy for the releasing of that, which they might have kept still in their own hands. By this folly they do a double mischief: 
The 1. deg●e●●  for first they set the elder on float, to be some great persons, and raise up their spirits above their estates, drawing them to great expense, company, and at last to ruin: and then for the making of the eldest a Gentleman, they must leave the rest to beggary: either basely to depend upon their brother for means (which commonly falls short, and comes to nothing) or else to take debauched courses, to steal, to shirk for their living. Thus the folly of parents (upon the sequel of their children's first matching) fills the world with bare younger brethren, with hangbies, and idle ones, snaring them with perpetual discord and quarrels, and at last bringing them to most dishonourable ends. No, no: you parents, be wise, God hath made you your children's carvers: Set your house in order, and do not make confusion among your posterity, to please the humour of one child: let all have children's parts: Do not rush yourselves into such debts, as your heirs must be fain to take all, and pay all, and so fleece the rest: Let the eldest (carrying himself well) have a double portion (education being considered which the eldest are surest of) and the rest, a competent allowance; for perhaps they may do as much good in their places after, as the elder, if not more, for grace doth not always go with Birthright.  
But, 
The 2. degree.  above all follies in this kind, that is most eminent, when parents, to make their children great, thrust themselves out of all, that their children might succeed them in their places, holding the candle to them, while they do all, and act their parts upon the stage. And by this means, both father and mother, which have lived in good sort all their time, come in their old days to depend wholly upon their children's courtesy: That part of their life, which of all others, requires best attendance and maintenance▪ must now become most shiftless and desolate. They must come out of the hall into the kitch●n, sit at table's end, or in the chimney corner with a poor pittance sent them, and at last die in discontent, and repenting themselves of their folly. But, if they may be at good terms, upon condition of being their servants both without doors and within, as droils and drudges, they may deem themselves well apaid. For when all strength and ability is gone, then are they no longer set by, but cast up for hawks meat, despised, counted as burdens, wherefore to be eased would be no small joy to their children: And it its worse with some parents, because they live to see all spent and consumed, ere they die, one and other, stock and branches, all withered and come to naught. Be wise, you parents, yield not yourselves captives and prisoners to your children: no prison can be more irksome to a parent, than a son or daughter's house: Trust neither of them in this case, for in truth, yourselves make the snare, and your children put it on you: you wrong your children in putting that into their hands, which God hath denied them: Love must descend, not ascend: it's not natural (saith Paul) for children to provide for parents, but for parents to provide for them, therefore invert not providence. Look to your consent, and look to those consequences following upon your consent; be sure to hold stroke sufficient in your hand, for the securing of love and duty from your children. You will say, all children are not alike in this case: its true; but the best will bite, and the ordinance of God must be attended unto, as the first rule in such cases as these. Sure bind, sure find: if you must needs come down, rather choose to fall into the hands of God, than your children.  
Neither must I pass by Guardians and Governors of Orphans in this point: 
Abuses of Guardians and Governors of Orphans in this kind of neglect sundry ways.  many of whom being left as menagers of the stocks and portions of children, being now secure of any eye to see or judge them, do most treacherously betray pooore children to misery, both before, and in their marriages. They make the children's moneys, payments of their debts, enhansing of their own states, and houskeeping: bringing up the children at mean terms, binding them to base masters▪ and exposing them to the hardest conditions, for back, belly, and conscience. When their time of payments come, they bring in great bills of expenses, under colour, and pretend great debts, and charges lying upon them, for the execution of the wills of the deceased: As for their matches, they put them off to inferior persons, such as very mean portions may content and satisfy, interverting the rest, to their own ends: and by one cunning slight or other, eluding the allegations and complaints of their orphans, and leaving them to stand to their lot, or else to sink in their sorrows. Our days are full of these examples: and as full of the just hand of God upon such privy thiefs and traitors as those. Another sort of Guardians authorized by the law to be so, (although of late God be thanked, better order is taken that parents or next of k●n may be the undertakers for the children if they will go to the price) do make a mere marquet of their orphans, and sell them as sheep and swine for money. Quite overthrowing the purpose of the law, which is to be faithful for the good of the orphan. Instead of offering yea providing meet wives for them, such as might be very way suitable to their place, birth and worth, what do they? Surely they turn to the spoil, and offer them such as they know will be unwelcome, and so thereby purchase a great fine unto themselves, and leave them to their own choice and fortunes. Others, more dishonestly, force base and inconvenient matches upon them; either matching them to their own children, and so raising their own estates thereby: or else, selling them for money to others; (and which is worst of all) lest the orphan should suspect and shun the offer propounded; what do they? They marry them in their childhood at 10. 12. or 13. years of age, long before the time of meet cohabitation, sending the one to travail, till he have fulfilled his young wives years: who when they return, come to them with a forced affection, and that breeds disdain, where there should be greatest affection. And hereby grows such distaste between the parties, 
Woeful fruit hereof.  that they abandon each others fellowship, bed and board, expose each others to most desperate snares, and to promiscuous lusts: and, if there be any reconciliation wrought, it's but violent, and the cursed fruits of the separation do so distemper their hearts, that they fall at new jars for their unchastity, and disloialty of bodies: they renounce some of the children, as none of their own, and so, do but pass on a most uncomfortable time of marriage, more dismal, then to live in a wilderness, because the necessity of an unwelcome chain, makes it doubly wearisome. And as themselves, so they who were the authors of such matches, do live together at deadly feud, at continual suits, the one striving to revenge himself upon the other, till both their estates be ruined. I do not hereby exclude Guardians from that due respect which the law affordeth when their care and respect to their orphans welfare is suitable to the calling of a Governor: But, whatsoever the law allots, the conscience of one that fears God should be so tender, that themselves being no losers, in respect of the charge which they have been at, they should deal with the orphan mercifully in all other respect of advantage, which a man of no conscience would encroach upon. Such as look at their own peace and the honour of their profession, will be wary, in such undertake, to make their retreat sure, that nothing may after be cast upon them, which might crock their name or religion, or give occasion to others, either to stumble at the practice, or to make it at a precedent for the like impiety.  

Use of exhortation of parents to attend their Children in this great work.  To conclude, I say this to all parents, who will be ruled by the word, boast not of your honour and privilege, to do hurt with: Shun all those base distempers of which I have treated at large, as the infamies and reproaches of bad parents, or governor's: Sin not on either hand, either on the right, or left, neither by base sluggish neglect and contempt of this charge, nor yet by any abusing of your liberty, to the prejudice of your children. But walk in the clear way of duty. To which end, consider, your prerogative is allotted you by God, no otherwise, then that you might undertake the duty, more cheerfully. Be circumspect, painful, wife and helpful to your children, (so far as your means will admit) with a free, beteaming heart: God tries your love and integrity, by this occasion. Times are now grown such, that the best parents cannot improve their love and affection to their well deserving children, as were to be wished: the world is at such an high rate, that they whose estates are not very great, can hardly light upon a comely suitable match, especially for daughters: there being none so mean now adays, but look for as good portions, as in our predecessors time, would have been thought a very good portion for men thrice above their fashion: And it is the disease as well of the children of God, as of men, to flight good matches, where excess of portion attends not: yea, I am persuaded, it's the cause why God's hand is so manifest in the ill success of most matches, because God was never so little looked at in marriages, as now. But as for these things, let both good parents and children, count it their affliction: bear it meekly, and leave it to God. Let your love be nevertheless, to do them the good you can. It is not in your power to do all you would: God will have somewhat left to himself: Smaller matches with God's presence and blessing, (for aught I see) may in short time, equal far greater, in success. Do that for your children, both in your education, means, counsel, prayers, providence which is in your power to do, and as for the the rest, remember, marriages are made in heaven, and thence must expect their happiness: you can do no more than you can. And, for this whole argument, viz. consent of parents, thus much.   

CHAP. V.  
Touching a contract. What it means. The substance of it. Answer to some questions about it.  
COncerning this argument, 
Second digression to the point of Contract.  the first enquiry, will be about the word (contract) how and in what sense we here use it: Then touching the necessity or indifference thereof. Thirdly, concerning the performance and act of contracting. Fourthly, touching such reasons or respects as whereupon it may seem to be reasonably practised. And then shall want such quaeres, as are or may be made against it, or about it. Lastly we will conclude with some use of the point. 
Contract in what sense here used.  For the former of these we here make a contract, a relative word importing an antecedent act between two parties, who intent marriage: that is to say, a private, mutual, free, unconditional promise, having passed between these two persons to marry each other, and no other. But here this contract is not meant; but a more solemn and open binding expression of this former promise made, that it may be ratified and strengthened, as becometh a business of so great consequence. So that before we come to any other consideration, we must needs premise a little, touching marriage promises, made in private between the single parties, (it being presupposed that they be not within degrees prohibited, and further that they be without all exception, of inconvenience, or ill report and scandal (as in the case of cozen Germane is manifest) and the nature thereof. For we must know, that although an explicit or expressed contract, hath in it the greater force external before men, to tie the parties to marriage; 
Promises of marriage, the root of a contract.  yet the mutual promises of them both jointly made, either at the first, or afterwards, do as deeply bind them both before God, and in court of conscience, as the other doth. And indeed the difference between them, is not formal, but accidental: and both are true real contracts, or covenants, the one as the other: and if there be somewhat in the expressed contract which is not in the other, in respect of outward obligation: then may there be truly said to be somewhat in the former, which is not in that, in respect of essence. For the being of the expressed contract rests in the former, 
To be very cautiously made, and their properties.  viz. in the deliberate, voluntary, mutual and honest resolutions of the parties among themselves: which being passed, give the essence to marriage, before the other came, and is the foundation and ground of the latter: For else it might be said, that any passage of expression between two, before witness, falling from parties, though in rashness, or in sport, or upon a question demanded, might carry the force of a contract, which no man of any sense can imagine: to wit, because the expressed contract before witness, implieth a former mutual consent between them, not now to be questioned: but yet for special causes, to be more solemnly and publicly testified for avoiding of great inconvenience. And this appears plainly by the effect which a contract or promise produceth: and that is a great alteration in the parties, who before such promise, were their own and had the stroke in their own hand, to dispose of themselves as they please: But, after their mutual promise, they cease to be their own, and pass over themselves, (not their money, or corn, or goods, but themselves) each under God to the other, so that now each hath power over other, and only one over the other. In so much that whatsoever other promise should possibly be made, by both of them, or either of them, to any other, besides themselves, if confessed, doth disannul itself, and is ipso facto void, by virtue of the precontract or forepromise so made: But although it be denied, yet it nevertheless binds them before God, so that they shall be for ever culpable before him, of treachery and spouse-breach, without repentance. If this were considered, doubtless it would awe the spirits of many hot and unstayed young ones, from such attempts. But of that after. here only I say, that seeing the true nature of self renouncing and self resigning resydes as really in a private promise, as in a witnessed contract, therefore they are not two things, but the same with divers circumstances for special reasons, annexed. So much for the acception of the word.  
To this I may add, 
Real contacts as good as verbal.  that in some cases, reals may countervail verballs: when as a thing done implies as much (in the judgement of a discreet man) as a promise made in words. As if a person formerly intermitting a purpose to marry another yet hearing, that she is attempted by a new lover, shall repair to the party and say, so it is that you know there is love between you and me of a long time depending, so deep, that I dare not in conscience, yield my right in you to any other; wherefore I pray you, if any such thing be offered, accept it not: this in conscience ties the party to marry her, and is equivalent in promise, and if there be witness, it concludes against him, that shall desert her. Why? because he defraudes her of a possibility of equal weight, to his own marriage. So again, a man hath desisted to prosecute an offer of marriage with a woman, Virgin, or widow (all is one) and the woman addresses herself to a far off dwelling, perhaps thousands of miles out of the Kingdom: The man hearing of her drift, comes to her, and tells her, that whereas there hath been some intermission of love and marriage-sute a long time, yet now he cannot permit her to go that long voyage, his love is so deep towards her, and therefore dissuades her journey.  
Here I say, that although the woman (if free before) is at her own hand to go, or not to go, yet if she consent to stay, the motion made is equipollent to a promise of marriage: and cannot in conscience nor righteousness be broken off by the man. Many like instances might be used: but these are sufficient.  
The Use, etc. This being thus, what should the punishment be of such counterfeits, and impudent varlets, who dare falsify the matter of a promise, that is, impudently aver and beat down a party, that there hath been a covenant and promise of marriage between them, when as yet never any such thing was in the world? I say such persons ought to have the uttermost penalty inflicted that the Law can impose: as being an extreme impeachment of the credit and estate of the innocent party, and a mark of intolerable audaciousness in abusing so solemn a thing, to any counterfeit ends of base wretches, not meet to live in a Commonwealth. An example whereof we have lately had in our Corner, by so much the more odious, because so insolent.  
Before I pass from this point of promise, 
What promise for marriage doth bind.  it may be asked, what promise doth realize marriage before God? I answer: First, it must be mutual; secondly, voluntary or free; thirdly, without error; I mean such as doth overthrow and contradict itself. First, it must be mutual, and equal, not of one to the other only, 
A mutual one.  but of that other to him? For if such a promise be a putting off one's self into the power of another: then, as no man can put himself into another's power without an act of his own resignation of the liberty he had in himself, so neither can each of the two parties give up their liberties without mutual consent each to other. For in marriage the yielding up of the right of one, receives a right in another: and therefore it must be mutual and reciprocal. If one shall pretend the promise of the other, and yet suspend his own, as thinking hereby to tie that party to his own time and leisure, himself being free, he is deceived. For marriage consent must be mutual; and the party withdrawing consent, doth in that respect extinguish and make frustrate the others promise from s●aring the promiser: except afterward the other party also shall as freely come in as the other did, and so make the promise mutual and equal. I have heard of a sad accident in this kind, that be fell a suitor to a maid, being a Gentleman of good personage, he seeing himself to have won the affections of the maid, and thinking himself ●ure enough of her, without any deep obliging himself unto her, pleased himself in his conquest, and there rested: so long till the Gentlewoman perceiving herself slighted, fell to as deep a disdain of him, as he had been indifferent to her: in so much as another match being offered her, she embraced it. But the report thereof coming to the Gentleman, as he was playing very solemnly upon his Lute, he suddenly start up, and breaking his Lute all to pieces, instantly went out of his wits. A notable Item to all, that they play not fast and loose in matter of mutual promise, and speedy dispatch of marriage. Secondly, it must be free and voluntary, not drawn forth by circumvention and subtle tricks or polices, 
A free or voluntary one.  either of the parties themselves, nor yet their agents and spokesmen: nor extorted by fear and threats, either of parents, (when they are desirous to put off their children for their ease, and are set to dispatch the matter) or by the parties themselves, (as when the man menacing the woman, and attempting to ravish her, except she consent, or to do other violence to her, do hereby force a promise from her) or any other who are active in the business. And this I would have noted, that although parents do not use any compulsory and terrifying courses, to draw their children to inconvenient matches; yet if they do carry themselves stearnly to their children in an indirect way, and refuse to hear them who are third parties, using weighty reasons to dissuade; or if the parents do not rather in meekness convince the child by reasons invincible out of the word, or other respects of good reason and discretion, that its a meet match, yielding still to the child's objections, (who must bide by the sorrow, when the parent goes free) than I say, That the overmuch reverential awe of the parent, smiting into the child a loathness to offend, and taking deliberation a way from it, that so it's led in a cord of necessity to do that which else it would not do: I say this aught to be counted as a compulsion, and such a child to be pitied and freed from the Contract: Or, if marriage proceed, and ill consequences follow, they must be all fastened upon the parent, not upon the child, and the child may claim the best amends. I say then such promises bind not in conscience, because the princible of willingness is absent: and the party would never have consented, if such fear and compulsion had not been used. I add this, except afterward the party being freed from such fear, and returning to herself, shall express another consent free and ingenuous: then the former impediment cannot frustrate this latter promise.  
Thirdly, 
3. A plain one without deceit.  it must also be without deceit or false opinion: and that in such a kind▪ as opposeth marriage essentially. Hence those Heathenish precedents of marriages are frustrate, when one sex marries the same, (Nero was an horrible example) when an Eunuch marries a woman, or a woman marries an Hermophradite (one of the Epicene gender,) when a man is deceived in the person, as Jacob in Lea, put into his bed in stead of Rahel: (notwithstanding the act of copulation) but especially, when the party supposed to be pure, and a virgin, proves defiled and corrupted: in such a case, if it break out, before marriage consummate, it doth justly infringe the promise, and makes it of none effect. This be said touching a binding promise. 
What that is.  But touching this last of error, understand it of no other errors accidental, which do not of themselves cross marriage. For, though they may be such as gave occasion to the party to consent, and, had the error been foreknown, the party would not have yielded: yet because they disannul not the real knot of marriage, that is, peculiarity of person, by defilement, therefore they are presumed no other than in some cases would have been admitted: and therefore the party must stick to his or to her promise, nevertheless; and therefore let them either bear it as their desert for lack of inquisition, or if they did their endeavour to be informed, but were deceived, let them take it as the trial which God hath put upon them; the promise binds still, except the other party releaseth it. And so much for this question.  
Use 1 Some Use would do well, ere I leave it, because the point is but occasional, 
Admonition to all parties to beware of their marriage promises.  and shall be no more returned unto. And I would urge these two uses following, the one of Admonition, the other of Reproof. The admonition is, that ●ingle persons be well advised of their promises, ere they make them. And indeed few words might serve▪ if the former item were well regarded: viz. that the speaking of a few words at once, may for ever dispossess them of their liberty, never to be recovered: fools once, and slaves perpetually. So that it's no matter of slightness, and merriment, no play, no trifle, no sport, except you will call that a sport which may cost a poor wretch both body and soul. Abuer indeed called murder a sport, but bitterness was in the end of it. Be advised therefore: and let this point, seasonably as a hammer knock home to the head the former exhortation of marrying in the Lord, and wisely to look well about you, ere you venture. I pray tell me, would you willingly make another man master and owner of any commodity you have for nothing? say it were but your horse, or cow, yea were it but a dog, which you set by? I trow not, how much less of thyself? Art thou so silly as to resign up the right of thyself, and to make thyself a prisoner, a captive, in the prison of marriage, whence there is no escape. Surely no except thou art mad, and hatest thine own flesh: thou wouldst not do that with a breath, which all thy worth cannot revoke and undo? As Solomon saith, beware how thou become surety for a stranger: quit thyself speedily, and deliver thyself as a Roe, and as a bird from the net of the pursuer. Man or woman, youth or maid, look to your promises. I think resignation of a man's or woman's self to an other, had not need to be to every comer, to every unknown stranger, to each unchaste, irreligious, indiscreet companion, which might make thy life irksome for ever. In the promise is the foundation of marriage: whether it be well done or ill, it can be done but once, therefore let it be deliberately, wisely and well done. Oh! let it be a solemn thought with you, my promise gives away myself and takes unto myself another, my liberty is gone. If a woman be urged to give up her right only in a little copyhold she will shrug at it, and think well of it before hand: And yet she may possibly recover a better piece of land, for a small matter: But this free hold of thy person, and thy liberty, once resigned up and forgone, can never be recovered again. Therefore I say, be well advised ere thou forfeit it.  
The second use is Terror and Reproof to all who have disguised themselves in this kind of inconsiderate, 
Ra●h and inconsiderate promises of marriage very foolish and sinful.  rash promises. You shall have leisure enough to repent, if anguish will suffer you. Also of all violent parents, who to be rid of their children, force them upon unsuitable marriages, which their children had as leive part with their lives, as venture upon: and so bring upon them a lasting monument of misery. If saith the parent, thou refuse this match, I will never own thee for my child, I will dispossess thee of all? Nay what say you to parents who first deflower virgins, and then force their childen to marry the harlots, for a cover of their own villainy: Is not this cursed love, and cruel command of an innocent child? But to be short, especially it rebuketh the baseness of many, who cast arrows, and deadly things, and say am not I in sport? that is, who screw themselves with strong persuasions and arguments into the hearts of such as they sue unto, and having so done, break off all again, and wipe off every crumb off their mouths, as if they had eaten no bread: Oh, you masterless persons: what? are solemn promises but cobwebs, which great flies can break through? Make ye no bones of them? do ye snap these bands in two as Samson did his cords and green withes? There is one who is stronger than you, who will not be mocked, but bind you for bursting in cheines too strong for you. But perhaps you will say, if it were my lightness and giddiness, it were very sinful indeed, and I deserved never to be trusted more. Yes perhaps your word shall be taken, but it shall be by such an one, as shall make you do penance against your will, all your life for the breach of that promise which you willingly made. But you have since that heard sad reports of the party: for instance sake. That the woman is no huswife, or is a Melancholic person, not fit for your temper, nor yet (in a second marriage) for your children, or she hath some of her own, or some such blemish now you have found out: well either these are true or else false. Are they false? How basely minded art thou, whom the prattling tongue of some false sycophant, jangler or gossip (loving neither her nor thyself unfeignedly, should shake that affection of thine, which being well grounded once (as thou supposedst) drew from thee promises of marriage? But say they are true in part, or wholly? what then? They come in out of season, the steed is stolen, it's too late now to shut the stable door: affections are snared, thou mayst not desert her. Wast thou not in thy own power before? hath any man forced thee to resign it, save thy free self? Thou art snared: and I say, if she should release thee, it were her meekness and discretion, but it's thy rashness: if thou wert amerced as he was, who defiled a Virgin, for the satisfaction of her discontented spirit, and questioned name, thou were well served. No other satisfaction can duly be made her, than thy return again to her with so much the more affection, by how much thy deserting of her hath been long and irksome. Let the falling out of friends, be the renewing of love: Thou departedst once, that thou mightst return for ever. And thus much for this occasional point of promises.  
Quest. Now I come to the second general: having showed therefore of what contract I am here to speak, viz. of a witnessed and professed contract, 
Whether a Contract be essential to Marriage.  it may be demanded whether it be essential or not, to marriage? Answ. To which I say, that the essence of marriage consists in the former promise making mutually to each other: therefore there is no essential necessity of the witnessing and professing there of, before others, but marriage may stand as real and firm, in point of substance without it as with it. Howbeit, I conceive it to be of very special expediency and use, for the behoof and good of the parties, as I shall after manifest. All sorts of people, even very heathens have always esteemed espousals, Betrothing, Assuring, Contractings, Affirming, (for they are all one) to be very solemn matters, as the words they use, and the ceremonies then performed, do testify: So sacred and reverend it hath appeared to all sorts, 
Contracts very ancient, and of general use.  that there seems to be a finger of God, pointing out the usefulness thereof. Witness the assembling of the friends of the parties on both sides to be spectators thereof, that so the blessing of it might be more effectual. Witness that instance of Booz and Ruth who were (as it were) affianced in the gate of their City, before many solemn witnesses: who being called forth to testify the contract, did assent thereto, and by their acclamations and thanksgivings, and prayers to God for them, graced and honoured the same. So that it's no wonder if the Church of both old and new Testament did practise it. And it's particularly specified in the Generation of Christ, that when Joseph and Mary had been espoused together, before they came together, she was found with child, 
jewish Contracts what?  of the holy Ghost. The Hebrew writers tell us of the forms and tenor of words used among the jews, to wit, that by divers real ceremonies, they strengthened the promise which had passed between the parties, and that in a set meeting of the family. Sometimes they did it by tickets of paper, written by each of their hands, and delivered by each other mutually. Sometime by very solemn words of obligation passing between them: sometime by a piece of coin given and received, which by the change of possession, argued the possession and assignment which one made and surrendered to the other: All to show that they accounted this business no trifle, or toy, to be wantonly used, for the pleasing of carnal humours, but a divine ordinance requiring firm and strong assurance each of other. The forms were these, Lo, thou art betrothed unto me, or, be thou betrothed unto me, or the like. If it were without witnesses, it was frustrate. The solemnity hereof was acted under a Tent, Canopy or Tabernacle, set up for the nonce, to show inwardness and secrecy of marriage affection and benevolence. This was distinct from the act of marriage itself, which followed sometime after, and was done with great festivity and with many songs and Epithallamium's of the boys and girls of the bride chamber, alluded unto by our Saviour Luc. 5. After the contract followed the dowry bill, which was from the man to the woman: though the woman brought a portion to the man also, as appears in Calebs' bestowing his daughter Achsa upon Othniel, 
Iosh. 15. 16.  yet usually it was the man's act to endow the wife only, and to purchase her unto himself. To these may be added, (which I add lest any should accuse me of singularity) the joint consent and practice of the Church of God among ourselves, especially such as fear God, (though we condemn not those who do not:) and there are extant in print sundry books published by authority, and by name one of M. R. G. wherein the practice of that reverend servant of God, is at large expressed, when he contracted couples. So that I hope, touching this second branch, little more need be added.  
Touching the third, 
Action and performance of the Contract ●ow to be done.  which is the action or performance of the contract. And that standeth in three personal acts. The first is of him that leadeth the contract, or guideth the two parties, to express their former consent. Who ought to be a meet person for gravity, and experience, able to teach them (if need require) the duties of that condition, and to answer such scruples as might arise in their minds about it. In a word, such an one, as by his presence might cast some awe and authority upon the minds of the parties, and assist the action with some correspondence. One that may be wise to discern of the frame of the parties, and therefore by questions may sift out the truth, to prevent danger, as by demanding whether they formerly have engaged themselves to any other man or woman, person or persons, showing them the dangerous sinfulness of such dalliance: Also, whether themselves have freely and without fear, and with the mutual consent of parents, testified, by presence, or by their hand (if doubt be made) consented mutually in heart, to this contract. The second person, are the parties contracted: who ought to follow him that leads them in the contract, thus, or in like form of words; first the man, than the woman: I Thomas, john, etc. do take thee Joan, Mary, etc. for my espoused husband, or wife, and I promise to marry thee shortly without fail, if God will. And so with some short counsel and prayer to God to dismis them, as true man and wife before God. The third person are the witnesses produced: who being moved thereto, answer and say, we are witnesses of this contract, by which these parties are betrothed each to other, and will testify it, being required.  
The fourth general is, the rational respects, in which such a contract seems very meet to be used. 
Rational respects in which a Contract may be used.  And they may be reduced to these three following. As first the suitableness of the contract to the witnesses of the attempt. It's meet that such things be done orderly, leisurely, and by degrees, not rashly, 
The 1.  suddenly: and therefore although a promise have passed betwixt the parties, 
suitableness to the weight of the thing.  yet as the matter grows riper between them, so its comely that it be no longer kept secret, but manifested, that thereby they may be awed with the more fear and jealousy of themselves, from uncomely and audacious enterprises one against the others chastity. Secondly to prevent inconstancy. 
The 2.  The nature of flesh is vain: and all men are liars. And it's seen as much in this subject, as any others. 
To prevent inconstancy.  As hot as youth is in her gare and passion, yet the best of their gold proves brass oft times, when they weigh things in cool blood. Add hereto, that this base world is full of curiosity, and jangling, talebearers, and flatterers, who fill the ears of couples with idle and ungrounded surmises: whereunto they whose ears as credulous, do lie open, and hereby their affections are unjustly alienated, each against other. Thus fools love lightly, and leave as lightly, others of themselves, not knowing their one spirit, take a toy in their heads, and without all reason, run into humours of fear, jealousy, melancholy and conceitedness against each other, and so withdraw themselves suddenly from each other, and change their minds. They do not (as they say) affect so well as at first, they observe some lightness each in other, some ungoverned tongue and passions, or they distaste the kind●ed carriage, or training, and upon these eiesores, either so, o● seeming so, they repent them, and fall off. And yet perhaps some of these have had time long before to bethink themselves. But who can make a coat for the Moon? By this means, as God is dishonoured, so the party innocent wiser and of more solid affections is deluded, yea sometime driven to desperateness: And had not here need to be a cord to tie a Proteus in a knot from sliping? yes surely, witnesses had need be solemnly used to witness to the contract, that if they will still be so fickle, they may be compelled to faithfulness, or else handled as their treachery deserveth. I have heard of some who have gone to the doors of the church to be married, and yet shrunk back. And whereas it's objected, may not things appear in time worse which before lay hid? I answer yes, but you should have thought so before, and suspended your promises: except you made no other promises, than you indented together to keep or break, and that each should consent to the others resolution, either to proceed or desist, which I think is a fulsome course, and makes a promise needless and frustrate.  
Thirdly, 
Respect 3.  this may serve for the benefit of the parties contracted. For, 
The benefit of the parties contracted.  as it was an ancient custom among the jews when two parties were contracted, to pray to God for them, and to bless them solemnly: and (no doubt) the parents or such as supplied their rooms, did annex some word of exhortation, to them, from the experience they had, both how great work they entered upon, and how raw and green they were to digest it, so I say I think it not amiss, that some grave person did the like now. The contract ought not to be a bare surrender of each other; but an instilling of some discreet watchwordes and charges from their elders, touching the mutual duties of both, jointly and severally, and so prayer for a blessing to be added. Solemn things should be handled accordingly even in the outward fashion of it: for men are sensible and sensual creatures, and are led by outward objects to inward apprehensions. Still I say, I do not affirm this course to be of the essence of the contract, but yet a very meet addition, if it may be had: and much making for the better dispatch thereof. And, what season is so apt as this? when the Ewes of Laban were to conceive, Jacob (warranted by God) set rods peeled and streaked before them, that the fancy of the creature being heated in the act of generation, might the easier carry in the species of particolourednesse: So here, the sight of so solemn a work is this is, of contracting two, and making them one flesh, will more easily and throughly stir the imagination, and the sense being moved, doth the more familiarly convey the instruction to the understanding and heart. Pity therefore it is, that the moulds being so ready to fashion it, that the melted metal of instruction should be wanting unto them, they being so capable. And this I think is the cause, why there be Sermons made at Baptism, and the Supper, at funerals and such occasions, to let in the doctrines of the things into men, (whereunto in general most are so a verse) because, as there is a season for all things, (which is like apples of gold and pictures of silver,) so also for this: and that is, when by the novelty and strangeness of the thing, never done before, the mind is provoked to an expectation, and so sets the wheels on work, to receive and apply things according to their worth and use. This for the third. Only one word more I add: If any should ask, what form of instruction were meet to be used at such a time, to the parties contracted? I answer, I prescribed none: This whole treatise following showeth their duties; two or three sentences culled out of each branch may serve at such a time, if wisely applied, as the several use of the parties may seem to require. So much for this fourth.  

General Touching questions.  Now I proceed to the fifth general, touching the questions arising out of this contract. Quest. 1 The first may be, what is to be thought touching the publication of the contract, in the assembly, and touching the Minister's act in marrying. For the former, I say, it is a very discreet and necessary act of the Church: 
Whether publication of contract be necessary.  for as much as the procuring of the safety and good report of the married, is a point of religion. Now the private contract of two insecret, or with a few, reacheth not the end of publication; Because its more likely that the body of a Congregation may sooner give notice of any precontract between the parties, than a few witnesses can do: and as for the parties themselves if they were guilty, it's much less to be expected, that they should accuse themselves. So that, for prevention of such a confusion, as to marry precontracted persons, what course can be too safe and sufficient? True it is, when all is done, it may prove but little to purpose, through the subtlety of the offending party: but when that is done which can be, the Church is free: the mischief ought justly to light upon the wicked delinquent. Well therefore were it in this case, if liberty were denied to parties, (at least in so common a way of a fee, without difference, or special inquiry about the fitness of the dispensation) from thwarting so wise and orderly a device: which being done, people would not itch as they do after private marrying, to oppose publication, and that upon humour, and vanity. For through such a base custom, it comes to pass, that one learns of another, and now he is thought but a peasent who declines not this lawful provision of the Church. Rather those who be of fashion and wealth, should think it their honour to submit to this practice: that they might give the better example to others, and so approve the warrantableness of their marriage: and stop the gap of privacy and of clandestne matches, without consent of parents, a world of suits upon pretended precontracts, and as much sorrow to parents who by this disorder are robbed of their children, and cannot understand of their marriage, till it be past revoking.  
Quest. 2 The second question is, what is to be thought of the marrying by a minister? The question ariseth from the difference of other Country's fashions in this kind. 
What is to be thought of the marrying by a Minister.  In the Scriptures, we see it was civilly carried, and dispatched by the Elders in the gate: and now in some of the reformed Churches, we see it's performed in like sort, officers being appointed to take their names, to book them in a Record, and so with a short ceremony to dismiss them. Answ. But in my judgement the practice of our church to do it, by the minister is every way most convenient. For by this means, the publiquenes of the action, makes the matter more solemn, awes the parties much more, both before marriage to carry themselves so, as they may not be ashamed to show their faces in public, to justify what they had done. And if there were liberty given to parties in this kind to marry upon their private contracts, what a world of sin might ensue, as in some to live in a course of defilement, and to abuse each others bodies, at their pleasures: in others to leave each others, even after the knowledge of each other, besides making of that vulgar, which cannot be preserved too warily. I deny not, but that possibly some persons so marring, might do it without direct sin against God: but what's that to the scandal which is occasioned thereby? we must so look at that we do lawfully in itself, as not forgetting our rule, that we procure things honest before men. Whatsoever is pure, and of good report, that we must ensue, and so the peace of God attends us, not else. Many acts may be good in the doers conscience, which yet are subject to the suspicion and ill construction of others. In such cases, a man must ask this of himself, if all should take such liberty to himself, what would ensue of it? And this would check his proceeding. The jews (as the writers tell us) had a strange way of contracting couples: to wit, for the better securing of the match, they permitted the use of copulation for once to the parties, and and no more till marriage, upon a great penalty: But finding great inconvenience to grow hereupon, (as no wonder it did) they forbade any such course of contract: and who so attempted it, if it were proved, he was scourged with rods openly, for reproach sake. So much for this second.  
Quest. Now a third question ariseth upon this, that in our former discourse I have spoken of a lawful contract: 
Whether Cousin Germane may marry answered.  that is lawfully entered upon, between such as are within degrees permitted. So that, it's asked here, whether cousin germane may marry? To which, this I say, that I observe of late time many more Divines to incline to the affirmative, then formerly have doom; and some of them, godly as well as learned: and not only so, but (which I wonder at, seeing such novel and forbidden things, are too soon run upon) that they do write for it, and have determined the marriages of some in this way, contrary to the affections of some of the parties, bearing them down by the judgement, and giving occasion (probably) of snaring their conscience after, when the crusted sore shall break out again. But to the point. First, for my part, I should much rest in the generality of that charge, Levit. 18. 6. None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness, I am the Lord. I demand what is meant here by kin? Is not it to be meant both of such as are near in blood, and also affinity? And, is there not very great nearness in blood between the uncle's son and the uncle's daughter? Tremellius, as learned a jew as most of our later jewish writers, in his Diagram upon Levit. 18. at the end, is so bold as to take it for granted, That as its unlawful to marry the uncle or the aunt, so the he and she cousin germane (cognatum & cogratam, saith he) and yet allegeth no Text for it: as if he would have the matter taken for granted. And in the Annotation upon the 6. verse, he saith thus, Of thy kin] that is, of those who are specified hereafter, or which by Analogy of comparison with them are understood. And, who are they? In the end of the Chapter he tells us, in his first Corollary, The marriages of colaterals (either by affinity or consanguinity) are forbidden to the fourth generation. Is not this plain enough? And he addeth, There was no use of it that the Holy Ghost should name them, the case is so clear. I suppose the testimony of one such jewish Textman as he, should overweigh the opinion of many novel writers. But (say these men) if the Holy Ghost had been against it, might he not have named it? I answer, yes, if he had thought good, out an argument from negatives prevails not. Rather, the not naming it, strongly argues the thing out of question. The Text mentions not the nakedness of the daughter in law's daughter, among the forbidden particulars: what then? may a father in law marry such an one? I think not. The second degree is included in the first: viz. Not uncovering the daughter in law's nakedness. Yet here is nothing but affinity by marriage of the mother: and is it not as rational that although though the uncle or aunts son and daughter are not named, far nearer of blood (though not in the descending line, but collateral) than they, yet their nakedness must not be uncovered, because the uncles and aunts may not? Tell me, if the wife's brother or husband's sister had not been named expressly, had it been a thing lawful to meddle with them? I think not. If the uncle be directly forbidden to marry his niece, or the aunt the nephew, shall not their children be forbidden to marry also, being but one degree lower? As touching the argument from negatives, it is so weak, that it is gone into a proverb: and might not a thousand absurdities be as well proved by negation? Dare these men argue thus against a Sabbath of the eighth day, because it is no where translated expressly from the seventh to be the Christian Sabbath? Again, what is more common through the Scripture, then for particulars not named, yet to be included in their generals? It was not expressed in the fourth Command, that a man might not gather sticks on the Sabbath day: yet because in general God had charged that no dressing of meat, or bodily labour should be then done, but all be dressed and provided before, therefore the Lord commanded him to be stoned by virtue of the general Commandment. And, are not these weak bottoms for men to warrant their own, or other means marriages, because the contrary is not forbidden, when as that is forbidden, which is, if not further off, yet full as far? It is objected, that many of the Patriarches did thus marry, and are no whit impeached for it. I answer, if that be a reason, then let us marry our half sister, as Abraham did Sara; for so he justifies himself to that Abimelech, yet in deed she is my sister, for she is the daughter of my father by my mother in law.  
Do we not know how Terahs' family after it came to Mesopotamia, and subsisted there, was far divided from the other families of Shem? and therefore straitened much in their choice? Cursed Cham's family they were expressly forbidden to marry in, as being the nation which God would root out, and give it the posterity of Abraham: where then should they marry, but within their own narrow family? And we may well think they did as well as then could be done, and made such a shift as they did: for even those they married were Idolaters, which was forbidden, if it could have been shunned: but one necessity pardoned another: better Idolaters under no curse, than accursed Canaanites. If they had had larger breadth, had they so ventured? 
I make no quarrel, but o●ly show my opinion, leaving others to themselves.  But they much press the example of Caleb his giving of Achsa his daughter to Othniel her coufin german. To which I answer, If it had been as they say, yet it was not in cool blood, but upon a condition made in general to any: but falling out as it did, it might have been an exemption by an extraordinary occasion. But the thing was nothing so, for Othniel is called the son of Kenaz, by the same liberty of speech which calls Christ's kinsmen his brethrens. He was not the son of Kenaz, Calebs' brother, but the son of his son's son: so Tremellius upon the place: Brother (saith he) that is, one descending from his brother, two or three Generations removed. Each Grandchild, and each Nephew or son of Nephew, is called a son by the phrase of the holy Ghost. But I list not here, to take off every objection. I return. Put case I should grant them their desire, that because cozen germane are not named, therefore they are allowed, yet methinks there be abundance of things which prudentially might move men to forbear these marriages. First, notwithstanding the long time that this Tenet hath possessed the spirits of some men, yet we see, the blemish and crock of it is yet unwashed out, yea cleaves still and abides upon it. The minds of men cannot yet put it on, as a garment fit for their back: still it's a generally questioned thing among the most, and even by such as are with much ado urged to it by such as think they see further than all men, yet scarce is the doubt exempt of out them, but they stagger. I make not this an absolute reason, but a suspicion and prejudice against it. And why should any man choose rather endlessely to beat his brain to evince a thing of so doubtful truth, then yield to the contrary practice, which no man can doubt of? Is it not wisdom to do that which is safest? Can faith and doubting stand together? And can that be done without sin which is not done in faith, but wavering? Surely the Plaster which men study to make for this sore, is far too narrow to cover it. Again, the scruple being unremooved, what apudder doth it cause among God's people, especially what jealousy, strangement, and dislikes among the kindred? We should aim at all communion, not alienation. Besides, when God hath vouchsafed so great breadth and liberty, who should strengthen himself by mixture of blood, and (as Nicodemus saith) going into his mother's womb, to be borne again? Not to speak of that observation, that God hath not blessed it with such increase, or integrity of affection. And it's not (to conclude) among those things that are pure, and of good report.  
And surely, if this be a great reason of unlawfulness of marriage between degrees forbidden, because thereby that natural honour and awful esteem of parents, and consequently of such as are near of kin unto them is imbesselled and violated (for what is more repugnant to respect and honour, than the familiarity of carnal commixtion) than I am sure the reason holds as well between cozen germane as others of kin: for nature hath put as due and chaste a respect of honour between them, as between those who are namely forbidden in Leviticus. But the former is avowed by many writers, one whereof I produce, Augustin his speech de Civit. Dei, book 13. cap. 16. I know not how it comes to pass, that there is a kind of natural instinct in the modesty of man, (and that praiseworthy,) that to whomsoever he oweth any shamefast and chaste honour, for kindred's sake, from the same person he restrains any marriage affection, which even the chastity of marriage blusheth to violate.  
Quest. 3 But to proceed, here is another question, wherein doth a contract differ from marriage, since that the substance of matrimonial union stands in the contract, 
Wherein differss contractfrom marriage.  what is there more in marriage itself? or what reasons are there for the dissolution of the one which are not for the other? Answ. I answer. There is great odds betwixt the strength of a contract, and the strength of complete marriage. 
God is in a contract for good, and not evil: but in marriage whether good or evil.  For the strength of the former stands forcible by the private con●ent of the parties: I mean this, that although God be in a contract, yet so, as the parties which consented, may also descent, when they find that consent did hinder the private good of their married estate. And so, when it appears, that the one party is unqualified for the other through many evils, that break by after intelligence, than they that made it may break it. But marriage hath a strength by public consent of the law, and the custom of men, and therefore it's above all strength of private promises: and admits no dissolution by private consents: The union of contracted ones, is an union of imagination, or of affection, so long as it's within such bounds: But the union of marriage, is an union of state and condition, standing in right, and law, above all private affection. If private contracts be broken off (as they ought not without consent) there is private satisfaction given to the parties: but if marriage be broken off, there is public scandal given beyond all satisfaction. The regard whereof tieth the hands of married ones behind them from all liberty of consent to dissolve the knot: because as it concerns the body of the state to see sin punished, so to see good established, when it may be so. For in Moses his time, 
One is better spoiled than 〈◊〉.  the hardness of men's hearts was so great, that they would be kerbed by no law, each man's will was his law. But now law having got the upper hand, men's wills must submit: because better it is that one couple suffer, than the law, which is the bond of public peace and welfare. So that this authority looks not at men's private contents, or discontents: But makes a voluntary consent, which might have been broken, to become necessary, and irrevocable: And whereas its instanced (as before) in the point of comparison of incontinency committed before marriage, (not known till after) with that in marriage. I say, I deny not but formerly and really both aught to dissolve it by the word, yet (as before I noted) the wisdom of the Church, putting difference, is to be regarded: neither is the sin (in every degree) so extensive. In this case therefore, that speech avails.: Better admit a mischief, than an inconvenience. Better pull down a smoking chimney, then admit a continual smoke in the eyes: so, better endure a bad marriage (which is the lesser) then a breach of law and right, which is the bond of the whole body. Besides, before marriage, the deserting of the one party, infers a liberty to desert another: the forfeit of the time allotted to marriage, by the error of the one party, may forfeit marriage, itself, in the will of the other. Such a portion promised by parents in fraud, and after withdrawn injuriously, dissolves the marriage because its such a fault asopposeth the condition of the first consent. The like I may say of any the like violations, which yet, after marriage itself hold not.  
But let me not be mistaken in what I have said: I would not be thought to make promises of no value, because I make marriage of greatest strength and virtue. For, although we have a rule, that is, in the same power to break a law, that first made it: yet it holds not in contracts, without special warrant. Not each pretended sudden impotency of body, not each suborned infamous slander of the parties, or either of them, not every devised flim-flam of a giddy brain must be accepted to make a spouse breach: (for what were this, but to open a wide door to all baseness, and to expose the laws of God and man to open contempt and mockery?) But such cases as I have mentioned, if they can be sufficiently approved to those who are the witnesses of the contract, so that all doubt of treachery and falsehood be taken away, than its free for the contracted parties to desist if they will. Howbeit, not without mutual consent neither: For put case that one of the parties pretend debility of body, yet the other party knowing herself to be in a way of God, and to be bound to trust God in his way, either for the recovery of strength to the weak party, or for strength to wait upon God in the way of disappointment: shall refuse to release the other: then I affime that other party is tied still by virtue of the contract, to marry. God's weakness is stronger than man's strength as the Apostle speaks. And whereas (commonly) rationalnesse and wisdom of the flesh doth step in here (for Self ever crosses God) and shall either out of disdain, self-love, fear, or other sinister respects, say: If he will needs break off, let him: if she will needs break, let her. As good do so, as proceed with discontent. And it shall be well seen, I scorn him as much as he scorns me. I answer: No, these are base tricks to shake off God's way: let that prevail. But if the unruly party will depart, the innocent is discharged to marry another.  
Quest. I go on. 
Why a space is allotted, 'twixt contract and marriage.  Another Quaere may be, Why is there a space or distance usually appointed between the contract and the marriage? Answ. I answer: It is fit to be so, for this end among others, that the parties might seriously and solidly, both apart and together, weigh and consider, what the business is, which they are entering upon: For being now contracted, and settled in their affections, from starting each from other, what remains, but that both conspire to this end, that their knot may be as truly virtuous as it is necessary: and that the necessity of it may not prove tedious for lack of virtue and Religion? If grace knit the knot, than they shall be as unwilling to be broken off, as the band of marriage makes them knit so, as they cannot: when the strength of the band strives with the sweetness, how delightful is it? And that it may be so, both the parties should endeavour, as in the last use I shall press more fully. The space allotted them is not to prepare for fine clothes, to bid guests, to provide good cheer, nor (I speak to the meaner sort) to set themselves to seek the best advantage of money at their offerings, to hire for themselves a hole to thrnst their heads in: or a farm to occupy. All these things (in a moderate way) are useful; But God is the God of sea and land, and all abundance and store is in his hand; his are farms and dwellings, and sheep and cattle, and the treasures of the earth; he can give to whom he will: and as job saith, although thy beginnings are but small, yet he can make thy increase great in due time. Make thou no more haste then good speed: Seek the Kingdom of God, and the righteousness of the same, and make it not thy solemn care to plod upon great matters, or to enter upon marriage with a fear of poverty, that thou and thine shall prove beggars. Plod both of you how this solemn estate may find you well prepared; and for other things cast your care upon him who careth for you; and in well doing, and means using, commit yourselves into the hands of a faithful Creator. This work would be done even in the threshold of marriage.  
Quest. But a question here still ariseth, What space is most convenient for contracted ones to abide so until marriage? 
What sp●ce is he most convenient.  Answer. I answer, Neither so large and long a space as might exceed and shatter those affections which have been settled, so that the parties should now stagger in their steadfastness towards each other, and wax weary through the prolonging of time: Nor yet (on the other side) so short, as should hinder their serious addressing towards marriage. Both extremes are to be avoided. For the first, we know in reason and experience, that when a contract loses her ends, through overlong protraction of time, it taxes the doers for their hasty attempting of that which might have better delayed: occasions are given thereby to take offence each at either, that they should seem formerly to make sure of that which lateward they seem but indifferent unto. Hence may grow secret pritches and surmises of heart, tending to breach and division; and so worse may follow, that the one waxing loser toward the other than he to them, there may seem to be wrong received; and so the wronged party harkening to bad counsel, and consorting with company of ill note, may grow to some new league, not only out of an unclean, but even a revenging disposition, thereby procuring estrangement of heart, and irreconciliable difference. Now what a base and absured abuse of the ordinance is here? how easily might wisdom have prevented all, in removing occasion of danger? On the other side, when the time is too short, marriage rushing rudely upon the Contract in an instant, it defaceth the characters of instruction, which should have taken deeper impression, and so crosseth the end of a contract as much (in another kind) as the former: taxing also the discretion of the party so hastening, in that he either d●d no sooner move a contract, or in that he moved it at all: For if there be no difference between a present promise, and a promise shortly to be performed, to what end is contract, when only marriage would serve? So that a middle space is best: The jews at the first aimed in their contract at the striking up and securing themselves of the marriages; and after, took large liberty of a year, or half a year, for the consummation. But after, they found they lost as much in the Hundred as they got in the Shire, and that hereby they endured great inconveniences, many more things falling out between, when the cup and lip are so far asunder: and so, amending their error, they grew to pitch a shorter time. So that it must be the discretion of a man which must herein moderate it: I would think a matter of a week or ten days a complete space; but because occasions may so fall out by absence and travel, that there is more present use of the contract, then of the marriage, and that for settling of minds: and sometimes when speed is intended, yet delays fall out, therefore the due ends of Contract and Marriage being observed, and good considerations agreed upon by parties (who best know what should let them, and what should further them) it is to be left to providence what space is most agreeable. So much for this.  
Quest. Another question by occasion hereof, may be moved: What if either of the parties defile themselves by incontinency before marriage? 
What if either party defile itself before marriage?  I answer, There need no doubt be made what is such a case ought to be done: for no doubt the contract ought to be broken off. By the Law of God, it was death both to the defiler and defiled. Answ. This is not a place to determine whether that Law be positive or perpetual: But I should count him a greater fool than that Levite, who in such a case should not break off his marriage, as we see in joseph's case of error about Mary, before he knew the truth. But if it be demanded, What if this treachery be not known ere marriage perfected? I answer, I ●now the judgement of Canonists, and Popish Casuists is one, and Divines another. As touching the practice of our Church. it's no doubt grounded upon better and wiser principles: not only because marriage came between the act and the accusation, and so seems to disannul it (for who knows not, that the root of it was error?) But to make the ordinance of marriage more solemn, and to teach people not easily to admit of separations, which I think is the cause, why Divorces being once admitted, the guiltless party is prohibited the remedy of a second marriage; which being allowed by the Scripture, would not else be forbidden now, were it not for the honour of marriage, and the opposition to jewish abuse (who used Divorces frequently) lest every loose, idle person, having the liberty of a second marriage, should rush upon the pikes of Divorce. And so (in charity) its to be judged in the case of uncleanness committed between a Contract and marriage, that separation is cut off, not as if it were not according to the desert of the offender (for it must have been so among the jews, as Moses expressly speaks in that case, when the marks of virginity could not be produced) but for the safeguarding, and solemn esteem of marriage, which oftentimes ought not to have been, but being done, prevails; the honour of an ordinance, being esteemed above the content of this, or that married person? This I thought good to say of his Question. As for more, it's not now my purpose: and, as for Divorces, I hope I shall easily be pardoned, if I say not any thing: it's already sufficiently treated of: and, I being here only to speak of an honourable Marriage, it would be as death in the pot, if I should here come in with that, which of all other things is the most absolute opposite and dishonour unto it.  
Use. 1 I choose rather to end all with some short Use. And first, if Contracts be so useful: 
Of Reproof, of all disdainers of Contracts.  this is reproof to all such as deride and vilify this so ancient, so useful an Ordinance or practice of the Church: and think it scrupulous, and superfluous. Tush, say they, what a waste is here of words? must we first marry in the Lord, then aptly, and then be taught at our Contract, and then consider of the weight thereof? here's preciseness indeed; do not others as well without it; I warrant you, if once married, you will be sure enough without this ado! Somewhat like Christ's Disciples, If this be the case between husband and wife, its better not to meddle at all. So say these, I had rather live single, then make such a stir! But I answer these two ways: first, as Christ answered them, No, saith he: It's not better not to marry at all: If any man can abstain upon the gift of chastity, let him: but all cannot. So say, I, if it be so easy to take up a single life, you may: it were best, no doubt; provided that you mean a single one, and a chaste one also: for otherwise if you mean (as Papists tell their Priests, better a life of uncleanness, than marriage) it were more desirable to live an unchaste, single life, then to make such ado, ere you marry, I should greatly pity, but rather sharply tax you for your labour. For (to come to my second answer:) Tell me I pray you, what think you of Marriage? Is it a life of looseness, and of the flesh? else why are you so loath to be well fitted ere you enter it? Surely, you must know, that Marriage is rather a curb to the flesh, and a bridle serving to restrain the looseness thereof. And, do you affect carnal liberty in a condition of restraint thereof? No, no: rather, if by any means, you might compass a cheerful and contentful marriage, thou shouldest be gland to take the pains for it, and roll every stone under which such happiness might lie, and well too: what is a little pains for a perpetual good, and to shun a constant misery? As Naaman's servants told him, If so be the Prophet had enjoined thee some great thing, shouldst thou not have done it, much more to wash and be clean? So, I say, if the service were far greater, wouldst thou not admit that, when the scope is, Marry and be happy? Oh, but is it enough (say these) that we be precise in worship, and religion, and in our conscience to God, but we must be so strict in marriage? So strict: how strict? wouldst thou not take as much pains for a purchase? Nay, for a good Horse, or a good Hawk? wouldst thou presume both were good enough, if price enough were set upon their heads? No sure, but the rather thou wouldst look to thy bargain. So do here: think not a wife unquestionable because of her price: inquire of her true value; when thou art married, and art stung with his or her unquietness, unfaithfulness, uncleanness, oh then! what injunction should be put upon thee, which thou wouldst not yield unto, to be eased of such a burden, in a right way? But I cannot promise thee thou shalt prevail then, so well as thou mayst prevent it now. Do as some Gentlewomen do, they will take no maids to train, they will have them trained to their hand, or else none. What will not a fool do out of season to shun sorrow, when he hath smarted, but in season, that he might not smart he will not stir a joint, nor wet his finger? To verify that of Solomon. To the fool God gives toil and vexation for his portion, because he will not be wise for his own ease. But I have before purposely handled this point, I will trench no more upon it: So much for this use of reproof.  
A second use then, 
Exhortation.  (to finish all) is exhortation to contracted couples to prize their contract for the use of it. 
Contracted Couples prize your contract.  I shall not need to joy them of it, that now they have their desires accomplished, (that will come alone) but, let it be their care, to sactife themselves and their marriage, for time to come. It was the custom of the Church of the old Testament, to offer sacrifices to God upon solemn occasions, as upon solemn meetings of the family: 
1. Sam. 13. 12.  when wars were attempted, 
job.  upon any special service of God to be performed, as fasting, thanksgiving, Sabbaths, circumcision of the children, recoveries from sickness, enjoying of any blessing, Hezekia and Jonah delivered, offered sacrifices, made songs and vows: Marriage therefore, being a special change of estate, such as befalls once in the life, should have no less solemn preparation, for entrance into it. The entry of young ones into this condition, cannot but amaze the thoughts, and possess the spirits and powers of the soul, more than ordinarily; striking jealousy into them, lest their success should not answer their expectation, and they should not be happy in each other. So that upon whom should all this care and burden be cast, save jehova: who hath said to married ones as well as others. In nothing take thought, but in all things commending yourselves to God, by prayer and and, cast your care upon him, for he careth for you: Let this be your care, even the promise of God. Yea in the verse immediately following this text of Marriage, the Apostle meets with this corruptions in couples, 
Heb. 13. 5.  let not your conversation be in covetousness, for he hath said, I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. It is no easy thing to stir up a dead heart, to reflect meditations of our future estate: take this time therefore, now the thoughts and passions of of the soul are up in arms, now the iron is hot, strike some impression of God, faith in his alsufficiency and providence, into yourselves. And as the Lord of the Manor, at each alienation, comes in for his herriot, so now, at this your change, pay God his fine, the best jewel of all you have, devote yourselves, give up your souls to him with mutual consent: 
Zach. 12. end. 1. Cor. 7.  rest not in the prayers of others, but set close yourselves, to the Lord in your own supplications both apart, and together without separation. Astronomers call the twelve days of the Nativity Critical, for the twelve months of the whole year; the days of your entry upon marriage should be even such; for look how the constitution and frame of them is, so may you expect the time of your marriage will be, either for God's use and the honour of your marriage, or for your own ends. Unblessed entrances have naughty successes.  
Recognize with yourselves, what the solemn opinion and hope is, which the Lord, his Church, and yourselves, have conceived of you: Tremble to think how woeful a defeat it were to frustrate them, and yourselves: Acknowledge God to be the ordainer of this estate, look what rules he hath directed you unto, 
Deut. 32. end.  for an happy life in this kind, muse of them, 
Luc. 22.  set your hearts unto them, and let them sink deeply into your hearts; 
G●lath. 6.  take the Lord as a solemn witness of your intents and purposes to walk by rule, as you look for peace: And by strong resolutions bind your fickle hearts as with cords to the Altar, and pray God to set his seal to them, that they may prove as good silver in the performing as they seemed in the promising.  
And more particularly, 
Counsels in peciall for such.  these two things I advise you unto: First, look what especial base distempers and lusts you have found to sway in you, either formerly, or since your purpose of marriage, labour to purge them out, that you may not carry defiled bodies or spirits into the married estate. As Physicians at the end of a disease give their patient a cleansing potion, to expel all scurf of bad humours remaining; so do you: you are entering into a pure and honourable estate: honour it before, by burying all your Idols, and cashiering your base lusts, that they crowd not in with you into the wicket of marriage: lest if you shall dare to carry an unclean, froward, covetous, discontented and unsavoury heart with you into that estate, the Lord shall accurse you, and make them as Judas his sop unto you, to defile you for ever after. To the pure all things are pure, but to the impure every thing even the very mind and conscience are defiled. Secondly, look what feeble seeds of knowledge and grace were sown before marriage, you ply and attend them carefully for time to come. Promise, yea secure the Lord beforehand, that no contentment of flesh, no humouring of each other, no reaching at commodity, shall so forestall you, that this work of God should be forgotten by you; rather lay all sacrifices by the Altar, and renew your Covenant, both Gods with you, and yours with him; tell the Lord thus, When my husband, my wife first met me, I was very busy in grounding myself in the principles of knowledge, the sight of sin to humble me, the truth of the promise to cast me out of myself, upon the arms of mercy. I was occupied about the doctrine and use of regeneration, union, and the new creature; now, let not this marriage of mine deface these fair beginnings; it is appointed for good, let us therefore meet for the better, not the worse. Take me on further (Lord) as the child takes forth his lesson, let the sun of my light and grace not go back, but forward, ten degrees: in all my hear, Sacraments, public and private use of ordinances, growing in the truth, as it is in jesus, that together with judgement, sweet affections, & again with tender affections, sound judgement may grow and increase in me.  
And thus I have finished this point also of a Contract, being the second piece of my Digression from the point intended, to wit, the honour of marriage, both in the entrance of it, whereof I have spoken in the first three Chapters; and the continuance of it, whereof in the Chapter following shall be treated.   

CHAP. VI  
Return to the first Argument. The Honour of Marriage in the preserving of it, during the marriage life.  
TO return then whence we digressed: now it followeth that we come to the second part of the Honour of Marriage: 
The second general preservation of the honour of Marriage in the conversation of it.  standing in the careful improving thereof in the marriage conversation. It is the nature of honour to love attendance; and they who have found an honourable marriage, must wait upon it, and keep it so. And it is a true speech, That it is no less virtue to keep a man's wealth, name, or honour, then to purchase them. job tells us, that God hath denied wisdom to the Ostrich to look to her eggs, to hatch them when she hath laid them: she forgets the work of laying, and leaves them in the sand, for the feet of wild beast to destroy them. The Apostle John wills that Lady and her children not to lose the good things they had gotten, 
2. john 8.  but to get a full reward. It had been better, that some had married with far less shows of goodness, and hope of thrift, except they had kept it better: For there is nothing so miserable as to have been happy. The praise of that good woman in the Proverbs, is not, that she was virtuous before entrance; 
Prov. 13.  no, it was her proof and practice which made her honoured, and her husband in her. Many great Captains have got a sudden crown upon u●eir heads: but they have died with a bare title, and lost it with more shame, than the glory came too which they got it by. It's not said, that Zachary and Elizabeth were worthy couples in their entrance; but both in their married course, walked with God. Paul doth not only teach married ones to be married in the Lord, and no more; but how to live together and maintain conjugal affection, and to keep that knot, by subjection, compassion, tenderness, and faithfulness: Rest not in this, (as some Scholars do) that their names are up, and then fall to idleness, and prove dunces: So many couples are like the Image made of gold in the head, silver in the breast, but worse and worse downward. They would have their marriage bear up itself, whereas that is, as she is used: if she be not cautiously observed, she will take a tetch, depart, and carry her honour away, some husbands and wives, through the slighting of religion, as thinking it needles to acquaint themselves with God, (as Job saith) in all their complaints, wants, and distempers; others by looseness of heart in company, whereof they make but small choice; others pampering themselves with ease and wantonness, lying open and naked to a unsuspected enemy: soon blast that honour of their marriage, which at the first they seemed not dishonourable to enter upon. And others have done the like, by improvidence, by needless meetings, gamings, or the like idle courses, others little observing each others temper, and so preventing many discontents: others also by presuming to find at the hands of another more respect and affection: or expecting greater wealth and estate, than they found, grow to distates and debates; then to seek stolen waters, as weary of their own cisterns: And thereupon grows a decay in their estates, discredit among such as esteemed well of them, poverty, and imprisonment, separation from each other. And, what is all this, save to cast their crown into the dirt, and to profane it wilfully? whereas, had they resigned up themselves and the success of all their hopes to God, walking faithfully and keeping covenant both with him and themselves, humbled themselves and submitted painfully to their callings of magistracy ministry, or private life, without ambitious reatching at matters above them, they might have kept their crown and garland fresh and green: yea surely had they set themselves to embrace those graces of God in each party to win love and amity between them, bearing with infirmities, and covering them with tenderness: how flourishing had their head and honour continued without fading, even to this day? But, it shall be enough in this place to touch only in the general, upon the equal necessity and coherence of this second duty, with the former: for all such as would preserve their honour inviolable. That which I shall further say hereof, may more seasonably come into the use of that discourse which shall ensue, after we have cleared the point itself; which because its large, and will cost consideration, 
Honour of marriage to be preserved, partly by the joint acts of both, and partly by the several acts of each party.  let us enter upon it.  
It may then be demanded, wherein this art and skill consists, of saving this honour of marriage so unsteined? The answer is, it stands in two sorts of duties; whereof, the former sort, concerns both husband and wife jointly and undividedly to practise: The latter concerns each of them in several, the husband apart, and the wife apart. Let us then begin with the former.  
Those duties which concern both equally are four. 
Joint acts of the married four.  First, jointnesse in religion; mutual love; like loyal chastity: and suitable consent. Touching the first of religion: my meaning is, that, as they are entered already with a religious spirit, into their marriage, so they must continue: not only to be religious still, but to cleave mutually together in the practice of all such means of worship, and duties of both tables, as concern them; I say, in the parts of religious conversation to God. More plainly, first that they be joint in the worship of God publicly, both ordinarily upon the Sabbath (and occasional at other times and seasons) as also extraordinary: The word must be heard by both jointly, Sacraments mutually received, prayers frequented, and all the worship attended. Secondly family duties, concerning both themselves and their children and servants, as reading of the Scriptures, conferring of them, prayer and thanksgiving: exercising those, whom God hath committed to their care, in the principles of Godliness, 
Jointhes' i● worship a main preservative of honourable marriage.  and the several duties of inferiors: The husband being the voice of God when they are both together; touching which, more shall be said in the several offices belonging to the husband. If he be absent, and there be no man of better sufficiency to present whom both of them allow of, then ought the wife to discharge the duty, as hereafter shall appear. Thirdly, and more especially those several duties of worship, which in private and apart from the other family do concern them: which although they ought to perform alone also, yet not always, but jointly and mutually: as to confer, read, pray, confess, and give thanks. Fourthly, they must be joint, in the duties of charity to the poor, harberousnes to strangers, relief of other both public causes and private persons, whom by occasion, God offereth to their regard. Fifthly, that mutual harmony in all religious relations, both towards themselves, as instruction, reproof, advice, admonition, or encouragement; or else others, in the Communion of Saints, (of which read more at large in my Catechism, Part 2. Artic. 4.) or else in their general, and exemplary conversation, in the sight of the world, which, when it is mutual, is resembled in the glass of each others practice, but if not, then loses her beauty as we see in the opposition which the holy Ghost makes between Abigail and Nabal in that point. 
1. Sam. 25.   
ere I answer any questions about this, I must ground and prove it by reasons and Scripture. For the latter, it needs not many proofs. That, of these two worthies Luc. 1. 6. may be sufficient, of Zachary and Elizabeth, that, both were upright before God, in all the Commandments and ordinances of the Lord, without reproof. In which sentence, most of those 5. particulars named before, are touched. That of the Apostle may be added, that they defraud not each other, except in the case of fasting, lest (saith he) your prayers be hindered: that is your joint communion in religious worship. Now, if there must be such an intercourse in extraordinary duties, how much more in ordinary? But it's objected, that Zachary cap. 12. bids them in their deep humiliations, to be apart; this seems to contradict jointnes. I answer. The phrase is not to be exclusively taken, that they should always be apart; for the Prophet's scope in the words, is, that there be singular uprightness in their humiliations, for which cause he enjoines secrecy, because he mourns truly who mourns without witness, but this excludes not jointnesse in other times and cases, because fervency being as well required in them, as sincerity which is more stirred up by mutualnesse, it is meet they should be mutual in that respect, as apart in the other. So that, these two (as occasion differs) exclude not each other.  
And there is special reason of this duty: 
Reasons of join● religion of couples.  For first, God is not now the God of them apart, as before, but jointly, as married: of them I say, and of their seed: and therefore now, Reas. 1 God must be sought jointly by them both, not only in several, 
G●● is their mutual God.  as in their former estate.  
Secondly, the good things which they receive from God though they pertain to their several happiness, as their faith, 
Because the grace of each furthers both.  hope, knowledge, yet they reach to the furtherance of each others grace; if they be bound then, to trade with the whole body of Communion, for the increase of grace, how much more one with another?  
Thirdly, whatsoever they enjoy, good or evil, in a manner they enjoy it in common: 
They enjoy all things both good and bad in common.  Their sins are common: (God may punish the one in the other) their gifts and graces are common, (both blessed for the others sake) their infirmities are common, (each being a fellow feeler of the other) their blessings, as health, wealth, success, are common: their calling and business common, tending to the common good of them and theirs: their crosses common, yea their punishments, their posterity, their dwelling, their friends are common: Shall their God then be several? Shall their religion and worship be disjointed? No, sure: mutual wants and needs, must unite and reconcile them to one God with common consent  
Fourthly, Religion is the golden Cement of all fellowships, and unions, both to knit, and to sanctify the same more firmly and closely together. 
Religion is the Cement of all fellowship.  That union, which is not thus fastened, is but as the union of those foxes, backward, by firebrands in their tails, soon dissolved, and very hurtful. The jews have a pretty observation upon the Hebrew name of the woman, the first and last letters whereof make up the name jah, God: which if they be taken from the middle letters, leave all in a combustion, for they signify fire. If God enclose not marriage both before and after, and be not in the midst of it, by this band of religious fear; marriage is nothing save a fire: a contentious and an unpeaceable condition: But this consent of both in the Lord, is the most firm and blessed of all. Those terms are ever strongest and best agreed, which agree in the best third, or couple. Now the Lord is the best, and the safest band. What a sweet glass is it for husband and wife to see each others face, yea heart in, to be acquainted with each others graces, or wants, to be assured of each others love and loyal affection, then to look how they stand affected to the band of their union, I mean fellowship in religion, faith, hope, and the fruits.  
Fifthly, let us examine this truth, but only in one prime and chief act of religion, 
From one instance, viz. their necessity of joint trust in God.  and that is faith in the all-sufficiency of providence: and that will teach us the rest. What is the married estate, save a very stage of worldly care to act her part? Single persons never come to understand what care means, till marriage come. That's the black ox which treads heard upon them. How shall this tread be borne, except faith in the promise act another part, of holy carelessness (I mean in point of carking?) Surely, as the fashion of some countries is to hang up a care-cloth in the Bride-chamber, to cool the heat of other affections in the married, and to put them in mind what an estate they are entering upon; so, well may this cloth of care ever hang in their chamber, except faith take it down and fasten their care upon him that careth for them, cutting off all superflous carking. Now this grace belongs jointly to both of them: not only to the husband, who follows the world hard to please his wife; but also to the wife, who (as the Apostle saith) is as ready to please him. What a gulf of care do both implunge themselves into, except the Lord vouchsafe them his antidote? What craft, tricks, cozenages, deceits will they not find out, to scrape and rake together, all being fish that comes into their net? What clamours, discontents, and brawls will arise, if defeated of their wills? What baseness will utter itself, upon any other expenses, then expected? But let the Lord be their portion, rock, and defence, and what can distract them: How sweetly will both draw in this yoke, if, as they have made God the God of the hills, so they can make him of the valleys, I mean, the God of their bodies as well as their souls? Now, if this one joint gift do so run through all their life, what will joint consent in all graces do, as hope of salvation, fitness to die, mercy and compassion, love, fear, meekness, and the rest? All which in their kind, under faith, serve to furnish the married condition with contentment and welfare.  
Sixtly and lastly, 
Nothing hath such blessing annexed to it.  what can so assuredly bring in blessing to the bodies, souls, posterity, families, and attempts of each other, as jointnesse of religion? when both are agreed of their verduict, and one builds up as fast as the other? when no sooner the one enterprises any thing, but the other joins in a commending it to God, for blessing. They not daring to go to work in an unblessed way, without God. That no sooner they spy an infirmity, much more a corruption in each other, but they reserve it for matter of humiliation, against next time: No sooner they meet with a mercy, but they make it matter of thanks, keeping the Altar ever burning with this fuel and Sacrifice: What a sweet derivation is this to both, of pardon and blessing? What a warrant is it unto them both, that each shall share in all good, when as both do equally need it, so each seek it of God? When God is made both of Court and Counsel, privy to all doubts, fears and wants of both, what can so assure them of an happy condition, when censuring, condemning, or quarrelling each with other, is turned into a mutual melting in God's bosom, for the griefs and complaints of one another: when in Christ their Advocate they sanctify all to themselves and make all things pure to them, bed, board, love, crosses, mercies, which else to others are unclean, and defiled. This for Reasons.  
Quest. A question here offers itself, if the grace of the married must be joint, what is to be said when the husband will not concur with the wife, or she with him, in such duties of piety or mercy, as do mutually concern them? Must she then desist, for lack of jointnesse? I answer: The question were much harder, 
What if he one party will not join with the other?  if it were made of such an husband, as not only doth not concur actually with the wife, but is contrarily minded unto her. I will therefore frame the answer to both cases: I say then that the wife may supply the defect of his non-concurrence with her, in these acts of religion, or charity. For why? his defect of joining, although it may hinder the grace of the duty, yet it must not hinder the essence of performance: better is it, that God be served, in prayer, in teaching the family, training the children; that the poor be relieved, and good done, as it may be, than not at all: Not only because the defect may possibly proceed in the man rather from impotency, and weakness: in which respect, the wife making supply (especially being eminently better fitted then other women are) doth as it were, obtain acceptance of both, as if both could join, and the husband could be the mouth of the woman to God. This being provided, that her gifts consist in an humble modesty, as in other sufficiency. But besides also, though the husband be opposite to good himself, yet if he connive at good in her, she must not under any pretext, detract the duty from God, by his lewdness, and incur double wrath from God. Nay I add further, although he be actually opposite, that is forbid it to be done, yet as the case may require, through necessity of present miseries, she is bound to step out from her ordinary course, as Abigail did in Nabals desperate abandoning of David's servants. But I wish the Reader to suspend his thoughts awhile, till I shall find fitter occasion to treat of this answer: which will be afterward, partly in the duty of the husband's understanding, partly of the wife's subjection. Here therefore I do but touch it.  
Use. 1 I proceed to the use, 
Reproof.  as I began. And that is, first Reproof of a foolish contrariety of couples in this kind. 
Severalnesse of religion in the married sinful, if affected.  They will be religious in marriage, but how? Forsooth as they were before: they will go apart by themselves, and severally; but, this jointnesse of worship, they abhor, as too strict and needless: They will grant that they must read, pray, confer, but it must be as formerly, either apart, or with other company; but as for imparting themselves to each other, they are loath to utter their ignorance, barrenness, ungroundedness in the principles, or their spiritual forgetfulness, unthankfulness, lukewarmness, especially the defect in marriage duties each to other. These they are ashamed to make each other privy to. God only is (they think) meetest to be acquainted with them: Why? are you such strangers? Were you not as able before marriage, as now, to do this? Are you now in no deeper relations, than before? Then you could not, but now you may do otherwise, and will you not do it? I cannot better describe the folly hereof, then by the fondness of such wives, as when they speak to their husbands, they call them by their names, or place, Master such a one, or John, Richard, etc. so, as any other might call them, as well as they, or as they might call them, before marriage. Surely the name of your relation, husband, or wife, I think, were fitter for them then common names. The like I say here, such a religion (I trow) were fitter for you, as might best agree with your near union; and not such as any unmarried person may enjoy. Woe to him, that is alone saith Ecclesiastes, for, if he fall who shall help him? And, to one, how should there be heat? (he means of generation) But, two are better than one: how doth this agree with the course of such? They are alone even when they are two: and they are two (divided) when they should be as one. Surely if they should claim power in several over their own bodies, or power to have a several purse, or a stock going apart, it were less sinful, then thus to nourish a worship of God, wholly apart from each other. May any so fitly join in mutual confession or thanks as they, who have but one God, and can (as one soul in two bodies) fellow-feele, and compassionate each others case as his own? Is there any rent so bad, as in semelesse coat? What can this division savour of, but pride, singularity, self-love? Or how would the devil desire to rule, rather than by this separation? I ask, dost thou hold the body, or the body thee? And, whom hurtest thou herein, save thine own body and soul, by refuseing such a succour? wouldst thou not think it an unkindness in the heart and liver, if it would keep in all spirits and blood within themselves, and transmit none to the parts? Must it not threaten (as he said once) putrefaction and obstruction to themselves, and ruin to the whole? So much for this first.  
Secondly, 
Branch 2.  this reproves all such couples, as are rather backbyases each to others in the matters of God, 
Hinderers of each other in such joints religion, to be taxed.  than helpers either in ordinances, or duties. Such as, when family duties are called for, either by husbands, or wives, than they lay logs in each others way, then of all other times, their business sticks to their fingers, than they have most irons in the fire to attend, errands abroad, or children within, to run upon, to dress: If private duties be occasioned, much more awek and untowards they are: If any duty of compassion, and mercy offer itself, visiting the sick, counselling of the distressed, helping of the needy, come in their way, they lower, and cross it, disnay each other from it. Nay, and yet profess to be religious nevertheless. Oh woeful ones! Is this your consent? Do you thus honour your marriage? Did you enter it with some opinion of religion, and do you thus promote it? Is it not a sweet nosegay for you to smell to, to hear your husband's alledgings, this duty, Sabbath, Sacrament, Fast, had been done, sanctified, enjoyed, hadst not thou hindered? Take heed, God will not be mocked! If this be done by the religious, what shall the irreligious do? If this be done in the green tree, what shall be done in the dry?  
Thirdly, 
Branch 3.  it reproves all such as basely rest in the religion of each other, 
Such as dorest in each others religion, taxed.  though themselves look after none. Many women good for not hang but for drudgery, yet have a conceit husband's prayers, their zeal and holiness shall serve their turn, and under that rotten rag, they shrowded themselves. No, no, this plaster is too narrow for the sore: If each party will far the better for other, both must combine, both must pray, fast, sanctify their blessings and crosses, wives must not plod for their children's backs and bellies, leaving the care of their souls and good government to their husbands. What is this, but to be a true slave, but an unfaithful wife? Rather say thus, husband, I have a part a part in them, as well as thou, sure I am, they have received as much of old Adam from me, as thee: Oh, that I had as careful a spirit to train them up, as thou. So in other parts of duty, rest not either of you in others religion, being barren yourselves, for each tub shall stand on his own bottom. The goodness of one shall not be imputed to other; but the soul that sinneth shall die. Take heed lest it be verified, two shall be in one bed, the one taken, the other refused! As God hath made you for marriage to be one flesh, so see that by grace you be one spirit.  
Fourthly, to these may be added the preposterousness of such couples, 
Married persons who forsake their own fellowship, and run to strangers, faulty.  as are then safest, when as they forsaking their bosom fellowship, run into the company of strangers, to converse with: to them they impart their marriage discontents, crave counsel, advise from them, betraying (by their practice) their husbands to base report; all, and more than all their griefs they pour into strange bosoms, refusing their own, who are much better than themselves, and then its best done, when most privily, and furthest from their husband's notice: But they may never hear of any thing from them, except with up brading and discontent: They must either hear of it from strangers, or not at all. Oh, how many of these housewives have deceived both Minister, friends, and husbands by their subtlety? till afterward their sin betray them, what mettle and stamp they are of! The truth is, their love is unfound, their hearts turbulent, their tongues querulous and clamorous: But, if their husbands be taken from them, and their eiesores removed, then religious persons, and the Minister shall no more hear of them; their hearts are upon new liberties, all their groan are vanished, and the next husband (though less religious than the former) pleaseth them better. Oh woeful hypocrites, thus to colour over a rotten heart, with religious complaints! God shall meet with you, in your kind, and make your selves at last your own judges, when his plagues cease upon you! repent beforehand, and prevent them, if you be wise. Your sin is hereby worse than others, who perhaps of me ere ignorance neglect this duty, being otherwise honest: To whom I give this caveat, let your sin this day come to your remembrance, amend it, and the good Lord regard not, but pass by your former errors upon your Repentance.  
Use 2 As for those couples who are both agreed in their graceless contempt of this duty, as they also are in all ordinary worship of God, they belong not to this place, I have before spoken to such in the point of unequal matches; They (of all others) are furthest off, let them prepare to make answer to their judge, who being commanded to honour their marriage with mutual religion, dare mock God thus. Indeed in one sense it may be said, they are equally religious, for the one hath as much as the other, neither barrel better herring, for both are profane, and as they entered so they continue. Well, God could have promoted you to some honour: but yourselves have chosen shame, he hath poured contempt upon you, thank yourselves  
Use. 3 Thirdly, this teacheth us the true cause, why so many couples lead a sad comfortless life: 
Cause or the unhappy and unprosperous state of many couples, is, want of mutual religion.  some cry out, they can have no peace one with another; others, that they thrive not, cannot be well reported of, or, their children disquiet them: God is against them, nothing prospers: Alas! what wonder! God is the last end of your though, he is not set up in your married estate! he is thrust out into the back room; who yet should be all in all, chief in your souls, prayers, family, worship, he is nothing at all, and is it strange nothing goes forward? How should it? Surely if it should (as perhaps some as bad as you thrive) I should think he meant to destroy you! But now, since he sends this Bailiff to arrest you, and fills you with adversity, I hope it is to bring you to a parley (as Absalon in burning jacob's barely) to provoke and stir you up to lay hold upon him, in due season! Bethink yourselves, set him up better, honour him, and he will honour you, but if you dishonour him, he will (as Samuel told Eli) lightly esteem of you: Prevent it in time, ear he come upon you worse; he hath hitherto been only as a moth, and destroyed your beauty, but he can tear you in pieces as a Lion, if you look not to it! pick out the secret canker out of this apple, else it will consume all: And this I add, although you should swim in all welfare, and prolong your days, if this be all your mourning, for corn and oil, it shall be given you as a curse: if you see not God's meaning, and honour not your marriage, by resigning up your Crown, and casting it at God's feet, depending upon him for blessing; you shall die dishonorablely, and live without comfort: it's not all the wealth you have shall help you to joy, but rather as quails shall all come out at your nostrils, and leave you desolate.  
Use 4 Fourthly, let this be exhortation to all good couples, who fear God, 
Exhortation to all good couples to be joint in their religion.  to be joint in their religion together. And here give me leave to speak a word or two of some particular duties: and then of your general converse. Touching the former, I would touch these two, the one touching family worship, outward, the other touching that grace mentioned in the fourth reason before, I mean faith in God's providence, which is inward. I begin therefore with this. Consider both of you, there is but need of it, in this your course of worldly dealing: most couples are met to increase carking and distrust, 
Both inward, as in faith, and the like.  as much rain to make a torrent. The Devil will so stuff and fill them with carking and covetousness, their own base hearts set upon the creature, will so inflame them, the error of the wicked will so pollute them through lust, by their cursed example, that many who met together in hope to become Saints, after they are met, prove little better than disguised heathen: Well might the Apostle join the caveat of marriage here, with that of covetousness in the next verse: and mark his phrase, let not your conversation be in covetousness: the words are, roll not (as the door upon her hinges) in the love of silver: his meaning is this, marriage is a rolling up and down from one carnal business to another: the calling, the looking to children, buying in, paying out, stocking the grounds, raising of commodity thereupon, going out and in, and walking in a round of the world: nothing but scuffling and shuffling to get and scrape: except there be this gift of faith to season the heart in all this orb and round: to settle it in the centre of providence, to sweeten it with affiance in God. Alas, else, all the questions will be, how shall these chargabe servants be fed? how shall all these debts be paid? what losses are here in our cattle? how poor are our take in our shops? our trades are mean, our children are many, what shall we eat, wherewith shall we be clothed? Alas, little thought I at first entrance, that marriage had been of this die, I thought all had been white and fair: now I see corn, cattle, husbandry, house wisery, all lies at the courtesy of mercy, the stock is out, and except God bless it, may never come in again, except God give success, good seasons of weather, crops will fail, rents will be unpaid, and we may die beggars. What? did you think marriage was but a song, a sport, an honey moon, of one day's jollity? did you not consider, that its a perpetual exercise of faith, for yourselves, for your children, for your servants, and business? If you did not, then learn wisdom now: God hath set you in it, to try you, what mettle you are made of: whether it will make you disguised heathens, or gracious believers, who commend yourselves and all to God, shutting up yourselves in his Ark, that the floods of great waters overflow not. I tell you marriage is a stage for faith to act upon, to cast and venture all upon him, who will care for you, and promiseth to do all your works for you. Be therefore both of you just before God, walk in this command of faith, as well as any, yea this before any. Take no carking thought how children should be maintained, educated, portioned, married. Do not as one lately did: having one son borne, he vowed he would have no more, whatsoever came of it, for he meant to leave that child, all his estate, (judge by the way into what noisome snares a base heart brought him into) and he whould have no more, to be beggars. Would it be thought, this Devil of unbelief were so rank? Why, marriage will make covetousness a venial sin, (worse than the Pope makes it) without faith.  
Be resolved of it, 
Faith the principal prop of the married.  faith must be your only help, to stop you from drowning in this gulf. Else no farm, or occupying will be great enough: you would think all your life but a moment, for the satisfying of an insatiable spirit? So many irons at once in the fire, till one mar another, and overthrow all. Else, you will pick quarrels with your trades, and be ready to forsake them, as fast as you embrace them, and so weary yourselves with losses, till ruined. Else you will be so sordid, so pinching and base in your house keeping, so subtle, false in your sellings, you will grow defrauders, oppressors, usurers, and cheaters, in your traffic and trades, so eager in your toil, so impatient of a defeat, so injurious and unmerciful not only to your beasts, but even to your wives, selves, children, servants: so base in your works of charity, that both God and men loath and be weary of you. What patterns of such married ones, 
Infinite miseries of the married through the distrust of God's providence.  doth almost every town afford? And when God frowns upon them, than they knaw their tongues for vexation and wax as profane in the first Table, scorners of worship, and Sabbaths, as before unjust in the second. Therefore, live by faith both husband without, and wife within, this is a joint work of both: (of your several duties I shall speak after) doth gain come in, and wealth abound? Set not your heart upon it: be not giddy, wanton, sensual: faith abhors such behaviour, and settles the soul in a sober frame of thankfulness: doth God cross you? Distrust him not, deject not your hearts, God is able to supply it. How else was David supported, when not only city and wealth, but also wives were carried captives? surely by faith he comforted himself in God, and recovered all. Am I in debts? God will pay them: I came not into them by my sin, but God brought me in, by providence: he therefore shall bring me out: Have I losses? God will restore them as to Job: Am I sick in body? diseased, husband and wife each lying upon others hand, threatened by creditors, to go to prison, fallen into the hand of a merciless Landlord? faith will cast you upon a merciful God: and although the common proverb is, faith will never buy corn nor clothes: yet do but improove it, and thou shalt find, it will be like Salomon's silver, and answer all things, buy all marquets: She serves a master who can mollify the hearts of the cruelest enemy, will sooner suffer the Lions to be hungerbit, than his poor shiftless Lambs to want: All the fishes in the sea are his, his are all the sheep on a thousand hills, all the mines of red and white earth, all the money in all men purses: All things are Christ's, thou being his all things are thine, and shall be cast in as an overplus unto thee: Thou needest not say, husband, wife, we shall be destroyed one day by this poverty; therefore we must fall to indirect courses, as others, to bring in the penny: No; let Atheists say thus, they who have a God to trust to, let them never dishonour him, by such doings: thereby making him their enemy, lest they be compelled to speak for somewhat. He that clothes the grass of the field, and the lilies, which neither labour nor spin, much more will do for them that trust him; you serve no hard master, nor one, that needs your sin to serve his providence. This faith must be Domina fac totum, she must do all and suffer all, and carry all, she must be the stirring housewife (or else in vain do others stir) who can do more with sitting still, than all others, though each finger were a thumb: By her therefore and her daughter patience possess your souls, and commend yourselves to him, who will effect your desire. This for the former particular, for faith in the promise.  
The other particular is outward, 
Family duties, and private worship, necessary for good couples to join in closely.  which is the joint serving of God in the family. Though both of you pray not, yet the one hold it up in the others absence, and set up God with both hands in your house: Let prayer, reading, and other worship handsel your dwelling and sanctify it, at your first entrance, and afterward season and sweeten it, and all, both persons and things that belong to that: Let all go under the banner and protection of God by it. It must be as the Temple morning and evening sacrifice, what else so ever you add thereto, you may, but this must be constant. The holy Ghost loves to honour this Sacrifice through the Scripture: Daniel would pray at the season of it, Eliah would offer his sacrifice at that time, and so the rest. And this Sacrifice made all the rest welcome, and blessed, Therefore be joint in it; begin not zealously at first, and end in the flesh, which is the custom of most couples. Look not asquint with an evil eye upon it, to cast your businesses so unhappily, as to trench upon the season thereof: as if your hearts secretly grudged at God in it, and could scarce beteame it. Both of you be just before God in it: striving who should go before the other in it: be no snare each to other not only by your backwardness and murmuring at it, not so much as in your indifferency of spirit toward it: lest you defile each other by it, and so you grow mannerly to put it off at first, and then by degrees by any trifling occasion to outwear it. Know it, that by the defacing of this, you outwear all blessing, and go in the row of them of whom it's said: pour out thy wrath upon the families which call not upon thy name. Be very serious to task yourselves to it, to press each other not only to a performing of it in general, to say a few prayers, but to be instant, fervent, and constant in it. The seasoning of your children, the awe and government of your servants depends upon it: and where its wanting, both prove ruinous, and brutish, besides the misery of the whole family condition. Use all wisdom thou man, all prevention and early care, thou woman, both without and within, that all business and occasions may be set at a stay, and dispatched, that this weighty affair stand not let for them. Be sure that thy heart smite thee not oft in the day, when shrewd turns befall thy children, thy house is in danger by casualty of fire, thy husband and thou quarrel, or any other sad accident happen; to say, these are, because we sought not God this day: therefore is this mischance befallen me in my cattle, or in my travail, or by a fall off my horse, or ill success in my business, or the like. Let not the coming in of friends, strangers, break it off: sit not loose to it, lest each toy unsettle it. Awe the family to it, both join in the drawing of your inferiors to reverence it, lest if form and commons once break in, the next news be, weariness, and so breaking it off. And with prayer, let solemn calling of the children and servants to account be practised. If you can possibly let the morning rather than noonetide be your appointed season, lest necessary occasions deprive some, whom it concerns. Choose it before meals, if it be possible: If the greatness of household hinder that, then take heed that drowsiness, slumber, and the Devil set not in their foot to mar all, which for the most part is the canker of most family duties: which through custom is made nothing of, till it have cast out duty itself upon the dunghill. I shall speak more of the man's duty in special, afterward: this now I thought good to premise in general. 
Needfnll to use private worship.  And this of these two particulars, of the joint duty of couples be said. Now I come to the general exhortation, and so finish the Chapter.  
Let it be therefore exhortation to all good couples, 
Causes why it should be so.  to be mutual in all religious duties, ordinances, and service of God. This will strengthen the wheel of marriage life, as the strong spokes in the cart wheel, strengthen it, from cracking, and splitting. Live not like strangers to God: for so shall you never be inward with each other: your life will wax common and fulsome, past and spent out in a shadow and vanity, yea vexation of spirit: and at your death, you shall say, alas we never knew one another truly. I dare not snare you for settnesse of Canonical hours, or for oftnesse of duty: I leave that to your own experience, who should best know each others wants, or at least your own to draw you to it. It is not meet families be made privy to the privacy of their governors: it is the next way to make them despised: its 〈◊〉 referring them to your own seasons: except yourselves be the whole family, for then the difference is taken away. I say, there may be secret cases, wherein even each party may choose secrecy; in such, be wise, and pour out you hearts to God, apart, as its like Rebecca did in the strife of her twins. There is a season for all things: and marriage secrets are sacredly to be kept. Therefore I say let this be the chief pearl of the marriage crown; search out all thy corruptions: make a register of all favours of God, which God hath granted to thee, 
Great benefit of pr●va●e j●●●t worship.  and to thy wife in common; such as at the time of receiving, seemed most precious, and might ill have been spared: mark how the Lord hath gone before thee and ordered thy conversation: consider together how happily, and yet perhaps hardly you met in marriage: what sound love, and covenant the Lord bred at first in you: how they have since held firm; and although many things have come in to weaken them, yet they have not prevailed. Consider how your hearts are drawn daily each to other: calmeth your unquiet spirits, (which otherwise would not keep compass) so that you look not each upon the other with the eyes of Serpents, but of Doves. Observe how Sabbaths and Sacraments are blessed, 
Counsels about it.  how your faith and peace grows, your fears decay, how your corruptions are purged; what dangers in body, state, children you avoid; and what sorrows, which cumber others, you are free from: also what success in your children's tractableness, and towardness: what faithfulness and subjection in your servants, (for is it not God, who makes many stout stomaches of both sexes, subject to weak governors? (as David saith) how your fellowship with the good increases, what new blessings are fallen upon you, in persons, names, trades, posterity: Mark also well, where Satan most insuleth, and where the hedge is lowest with you: what corruptions (as old sores) break out in their seasons, which yet seemed to be quashed before; what lusts of the heart, lust of the eye, or pride of life bubbles up from within: Look not each into him or herself, but each into other, as having interest deeply planted; yet do it not with curiosity but simplicity: By this means both abundant matter and manner, as oil to the lamp, will offer themselves to nourish this ordinance; all lust of sloth, all rust of ease, weariness will be filled off. And a free heart to make God the umpire of your differences (if any be, as how can it be avoided, but a root of bitterness within, will less or more break out) the composer of your hearts, the granter of your requests, and the gracer of your marriages will be obtained. And fear not, lest this course should in time weary you, or alienation each from other should grow, to distaste this duty; for the Lord who hath founded it, will own it, and can bless it, and keep out disorder; and the sweet fruit of this service, will so both prevent, attend and follow you, in all your ways, that you shall feel yourselves to walk each before other, and both before God, less loosely, moresoundly and safely: For why? how can it otherwise be, when both of you remember whom you use to go to, (as to the oath and covenant) both in your confessions, on which you shame yourselves for your failings, and in your requests, craving pardon and purging, and where you have done well, to praise him for support, and to be thankful for that administration and protection of his, under which (as his beloved) you have been, all the day long.  
I conclude therefore, go to God more jointly than ever; hold, 
Exhortation to private en●●●ourse with God.  and pull more hard and close together, so oft as you go to the throne of grace; especially, when as with that good Jacob, you are resolved not to cease wrestling till you be blessed: compel him to send you away with your request, else you cannot be answered Go by a promise in your Advocate, and say, now Lord, this new state of ours, requireth new manners, new selfedeniall, new faith, new life, a donble portion of grace; beg it therefore as Elisha did; all that belong to you, require a new part in you: And, who is sufficient for these? Make yourselves nothing: and God all in all, who can satisfy you. Separate not yourselves in these duties, as others do in Congregations, or others in board and bed, but say, come, let us pray together, confess, give thanks, I am as thou art, my people as thine, my horses as thine, my thoughts, affections, members, as thine. By this mean, love shall so grow, that it shall outgrow all distempers: you shall say of each other, I never thought my wife had the tithe of that grace in her heart, or that my husband had half that humbleness, compassion, faith, which now I perceive. Those evils, those infirmities, which would for ever have estranged some, and caused distaste, I see in him, in her, breed so much the more love to my soul, sympathy, and mercy: This from this wellspring of joint worship, shall flow streams of honey and butter (as job speaks) into all the life● Especially, when crosses and straits shall befall you, then shall God be nearest of all unto you, and be afflicted with you in all: because you have made him the God of your mountains, he willbe the God of you valleys also, whenas others, who never thus traded with him, shallbe sent to their Idols, and to shift for themselves. And as touching the first duties, of mutuallnes, viz. of these four jointnesse of religion and worship, thus much.   

CHAP. VII.  
The second mutual duty of the Married, viz. Conjugal love handled.  
I Now proceed to the second main and joint duty of the married which is conjugal Love: 
The second joint office of the married, Conjugal love  For the better handling whereof it will not be amiss first to premise somewhat, touching the nature of it: and then to show some reasons, why it should be jointly preserved, adding some means whereby it may be done, and so, concluding with use.  
That infinitely and only wise God who both upholdeth by his providence, 
Love aught to be jointly preserved, for the honour of Marriage.  all his creatures in their kinds and subsisting, and hath by one soul of harmony and consent, accorded each with other, for their mutual aid and support: much more hath his hand in the accord of reasonable creatures, their fellowship and league together, as without which they could not well continue in their welfare & prosperity. And therefore, for the more sweet reconciling and uniting of the affections of one to another in every kind of league and fellowship, both the more general and common, standing in outward commerce, and the more near & close, as in friendship and marriage; he hath accordingly planted in every nature, sex and person more or less Sympathy, that the one not possibly being able to subsist without the other, might by this tye, each love the other, and be knit to the other in union and affection. 
Not only bred by peculiar instinct.  This appears even in the most remote contracts of buying and selling, borrowing and lending: wherein although the league stand rather in things then in persons, yet even there, is seen a general kind of love, each man choosing to trade and traffic with them, whose spirit and frame is most suitable to their own. When God meant to enrich the Israelites by the bounty of the Egyptians, he darted in for the time such a sympathy into their hearts, that they found favour in their eyes; so that nothing was then too dear for them, jewels and gold and silver, till they had impoverished themselves. And, in those combinations of men which are grounded in law and civil order in commonwealths and corporations, although there be a necessary bond, to keep all sorts within order and government: yet there is to be observed between those members, a more peculiar bond between some than others, through a suitableness of disposition that is in them, whereby for special causes, the one doth more tenderly affect some one or other, than the common body can affect itself. This yet doth much more appear in the league of friendship, wherein we see God doth so order it, that by a secret instinct of love and sympathy, causing the heart of the one to incline to the other, two friends have been knit so close to the other, that they have been as one spirit in two bodies, as not only we see in Jonathan and David, but in heathens which have striven to lay down their lives for the safeguard of each other. And that the finger of God is heart, appears by this, that oftimes a reason cannot be given by either party, why they should be so tender each to other: It being caused notby any profitable or pleasurable means, but by mere sympathy, which is far the more pure and noble cement of union, than what else so ever. Nay, in the very senseless creatures is to be seen this amity and nearness, that as some have an antipathy each to other, as the shadow of the walnut is noxious to other plants; so, the elm and the vine do naturally so entwine and embrace each the other, that it's called, the friendly elm; who can tell why? much more than in reasonable creatures, it must be so. And hence those heathens (that could go no further) make the very constellations of heaven, under which two are borne, to be the cause and influence of their accord: I know not what star (saith one) hath tempered my nature so fitly to thine, that we should be so united. And another, scoffing at one he distasted, tells him, I love thee not certainly, and yet I cannot tell why, (for thou never hurtest me) but this I am sure of, that I love thee not. What wonder then, if God for the preserving of that band which is nearest of all, durablest of all, and the most fundamental of all: hath much more caused a secret sympathy of hearts to live in the breasts and bosoms of some men, and some women, that are to live in the married estate, (whereof no reason can be given, save the finger of God;) whereby I say their hearts and affections do consent together, of two to become one flesh, the most inward union of all? Whence is it, that (all others set aside, sometimes more amiable in themselves, more rich, better bred, and the like) yet through this instinct of sympathy, (an hidden and unknown cause) two consent together to become husband and wife? Surely by this it appears, that by how much less reason can be given of this temperament, so much the more God is in it, as purposing by a more precious and uniting band, then ordinary, to knit them together, whom he purposeth to maintain in such a league, as must endure, and cannot be dissolved, when once it is made. So that we see marriage love is oftime a secret work of God, pitching the heart of one party upon another, for no known cause; and therefore where this strong loadstone attracts each to other, no further question need to be made, but such a man such a woman's match were made in heaven, and God hath brought them together.  
But, 
But oftent●ms by outward occasions and motives.  because the finger of God is not so manifest in all matches as by a secret inspiration to unite them: and because man being a reasonable creature, is led in affections, not to live by sensual appetite, as a beast, but by rational motives and inducements: therefore providence discovers itself herein also: even framing the matter so, that oftimes where this natural inclination fails, and where in likely hood some antipathy and contrariety of spirits would appear; yet, by some accidental endowments of religion, of education, of eminent natural parts, of sweet disposition, even that party pleases best, who yet were as likely to displease as much as any in the general. I say this is a providence more general, than the former: so ordering things, that where mere sympathy fails, yet another band may prove (to some persons) as pleasing and lasting, when as they see that one defect is recompensed, with another eminency and perfection. Who but God hath so accorded it, that many a woman of exquisite beauty and person, like to attract love enough (in a mutual way of man) should yet come short of inward wi●, wisdom and abilities? Surely he who doth all so well, that nothing can be found out after him better than he hath made it, hath thus appointed it, lest if all perfections should concur in one impotent subject, the heart would be too big for the bosom, and swell into an excess of pride, and selfelove. And on the other side, who hath so ordered it, that oftentimes, where beauty fails, where ●ther person is ordinary, there yet, these uncomely parts should be clothed with greater honour, of virtue, understanding, industry, providence, and other qualities of worth: and all for this universal end, that there might be an equality? So that whereas the person in some regards might be an object of disdain, yet in others, might be to a rational and wise man, a meet object of esteem, her gifts drowning her defects, and so sustaining the poor creature from contempt and scorn. Thus doth God by his wisdom so order contraires, that being brought by his own skilful hand to a due temperature, they might cause a most pleasing harmony: so that oftimes a nimble wit joined with a more slow, a phlegmatic temper with a sanguine, a melancholic with a merry, a choleric with a mild and patient temper, might behold the workmanship of God herein with such admiration, that the frame of spirit which in the general might seem most repugnant, yet in respect of the necessary usefulness and commodity thereof, might find most favour. And why? surely because similitude of distempers might breed a confusion in the married estate, whereas the one quality allaying the other, might reduce the body to a sweet harmony and correspondence. So that still we see God hath an hand in this union of hearts in the married and although some unite through a secret sympathy: others from some confessed good and amiable object in the party loved; yet God is in them both, that by a strong marrimoniall knot the married couples might eike out that love and affection towards each other, which else neither the need of each other, no nor religion itself could alone, maintain and preserve. And so much for this second branch.  
By all I have said, 
Conjugal love a mixed affection.  it may be perceaved, that by conjugal love, here, I mean not only Christian love, a grace of God's spirit: (for marriage borders much what upon nature and flesh) nor yet a carnal and sudden flash of affection, corruptly inflamed by Concupiscence: (rather brutish the● humane) but a sweet compound of both, religion and nature, the latter being as the material, the former as the formal cause thereof; properly called Marriage love. And this love is not an humour raised suddenly in a pang or thoade of affection, ebbing and flowing; sometimes when the parties are set upon the stage abroad, among company and strangers, where they would act a part for their Credit; (for family and place where they live aught to be their true stage of Action) but an habited and settled love planted in them by God, whereby in a constant, equal, and cheerful consent of spirit, they carry themselves each to other: each hollow companion will exceed, at an odd time, and put down true lovers: who if they were tried by their uniform love, 
And how?  would be tired as jades & betray themselves to be counterfeits: whatsoever is according to God, is equal, though but weak. So is this, of the love of couples: no union of imagination, mixture, nor yet bare affection, but an effect of divineinstitution, between two, (for polygamy is the Corruption of marriage;) not to be dissolved till death, except uncleanness divorced it. This love is (as the echo to the voice) the vital spirit, and heart blood of this Ordinance causing a voluntary and practic union of two, without which union alone by virtue of God's institution, is but a forced necessity. For than hath this ordinance her perfection, when this solder of love being added thereto, maketh that union w●● cannot be broken, to become such a willing one, as (to chuze) would not be broken. Else friendship were a better one-ship than marriage, because that may be dissolved, when it waxes a burden, whereas this holds, be it never so wearisome. But than is it happy when the lover and the loved enjoy each other: else the fellowship of those married ones, whose love is degenerate into bitter hatred, were as good as the best: for the worst, marriage is such, that (till one cease to be) it cannot cease to be a knitting of two in one; no time, no distance of place, no sin (except adultery) breaking it of: but how miserable a necessity is that, which hath no law, no remedy? Hence God hath allowed so many respects and liberties in the choice of husbands and wives, because he would straighten none, but that they might live lovingly, except the fault be their own. So that as he who marrieth for other ends, religion being neglected, offendeth chiefly, so doth he also, who shall marry one religious, without due caution of other things which might strengthen love, even he shall sin against the comfort of his own life. And its certain, that longer then love compounded of the forenamed causes, doth last, marriage is but a carcase void of life. And the stronger the tie is, the irkesomer is marriage, being frustrate of that precious thing, for which it should love groundedly.  
Let me add some reasons why this so joint a bond should be carefully preserved. 
Reason of it.  First nothing is so precious among men in worldly respects, as that for which the husband loveth and desireth the wife; and she him; no union so strong as this; no joy in any outward union so contentful as this; nor able to wish well to the thing loved as this. For though I must love my neighbour as myself, yet I am bound to love my wife otherwise for both kind and measure, than my neighbour; yea and in some sense, better than myself. And it's truly observed, that this rule of loving our neighbour, is rather to be expounded privatively or negatively, then positively: forbidding rather to do any hurt to my neighbour, which I would not do to myself, then commanding to do him so much good as to myself: sithence by this mean I should be bound to feed and clothe him as myself, which were abused. But my wife I am bound to love as myself in both respects as myself; both in the negative, and affirmative sense. 
Ephe. 5. 29.  Hence is that of the Apostle, No man ever hated his own flesh, but nourished and cherished it, even so ought a man to love his wife as himself: not only in distress, 
Rom. 12. 20.  for so am I bound to love mine enemy, If thine enemy hunger, feed him, etc. but constantly, and at all times. Hence is the general rule, 
Ephe. 5. 25.  urged mutually upon both, husband, love your wives, as Christ loved his Church, and gave himself for it, to purge and wash it: that, it might be without spot: and the like he professeth upon the wife to him; 
Tit. 2. 4 5.  wives love your husbands, etc. nothing is to be a reciprocal duty.  
But yet this I must add, 
Conjugal love, though a joint duty, to be carried in a several way.  that this so mutual a duty, is yet required of both in a different manner. For the more clear understanding whereof, observe, that as the love wherewith Christ loves his Church is a more abundant and bountiful love, then that whereby she loves him again; yea, her love is as her other grace, fetched from his fullness, which he communicates unto her by his spirit, so is the woman's love in the carriage thereof to the man's. And as the dim light of the Moon borrowed from that principle of light the Sun; so by proportion, the love of the wife is as borrowed from the love of the husband. He is the fountain of the relation, she follows as the correlative, her love is the stream issuing from his spring. Love must decend from him, 
Psal. 134. 2.  as the oil of Aaron's head descended down to his beard, and his clothing; So that the manner of this imparting love must be orderly: the husband is to offer, to bestow, and communicate himself first to his wife; in a free, bountiful, full love; she is not so much bound to vie upon his love, or to love bountifully and actively, as to reflect and return upon himself his own love, and that in a reverend, amible and modest manner: Thence is it, that as oft as Paul useth the charge of husbands loving their wives, (which is very frequent) yet he very seldom, and but once urgeth the woman to love her husband: 
Tit. 2. 4.  (but as if he would have them, their love and all to be drowned in their subjection) he presseth them, to be subject to their husbands; wives submit yourselves: 
Ephe 5. 22. 24.  and, let the wife reverence her husband: Noting, that although the married estate, be an equal estate, yet the carriage of both must not be the same: but the love of the one must be conveyed with royalnesse without tyranny, the other in loyal sweet subjection, without slavery. So then, as the head and other inferior members, are equally parts of one body, yet the head in a different and more singular manner, than the rest: so ought the case to be betwixt husband and wife. And hence it is, that according to the custom of all Nations, the husband seeketh the wife, the wife loveth after she is loved: except is be here and there in some odd person, 
What that way is.  noted for folly or immodesty. The man's authority mixed with the woman's midnesse, his activeness, with her passiveness and acceptance, makes the sweet compound. As the Sun, exhaling vapours, out of the earth, draweth them up into the air, and having altered their groster quality, sends them down again with more foison and fatness to refresh the earth as with her own store; so, the lovely disposition of a virtuous wife, drawing love from her husband, into her own heart, sweeteneth the vapour, and returns his own upon him again with a double pleasing grace and comeliness. And as we see, that the meat, which the stomach receieth, except it be cold or hot, scarcely admits kindly digestion; because being luke warm, it cannot work upon that meat which is like her own temper; so, if you take away this temper of natures, love is loathsome in one manner and fulsome. For, what is more loathed by a discreet man, than a woman mannishly qualitied? And, what is more irksome to a loving woman, than a man effeminate? Therefore, let the man keep his liberty in loving; avoiding all base uxoriousness, softness, and nice affection of his wife, and let the woman shun all uncomely boldness; and taking upon her with authority in the carriage of her love towards him: it becomes him to play the Captain and lead this service of love, and it beseems her, to tread the same steps, and follow. This is the wisest contention, whether shall love other with the most cordial affection, in a true way.  
Use 1 I come to some use of the point. And first it much condemneth the course of such as bear any stroke in the marriages of others, 
Reproof.  who are so eager and peremptory in striking through the match, 
Branch 1.  that they omit the tying of the knot sure, (which is the main point) and so become the occasions of forced matches, 
Forced and lovelesse matches dangerous.  empty of love. Alas! you little consider of time to come: and what a sad entrance you make into an estate of life, which needs the mutual improovement of a stock, which you never care to procure them at the first. And even so are couples themselves herein exceedingly to blame; in that they set the cart before the horse, dragging (in a sort, as he those oxen he had stolen, into his den by the tails) so they, the wives which by head and shoulders they have gotten, into their bosoms, the contrary way: Sympathy of heart, or amiable qualities which should attract love towards their persons, and cover any such defect as a carnal curious eye would stumble at, these they set not in the first rank, but as the kite upon the prey, so fall they eagerly upon something in the woman, neither praise worthy nor amiable (for as the Philosopher saith who praises any for wealth, or that which is without) but either profitable or sensually pleasing: these they think will carry love after it. But by that time they have tried at leisure, and found that love is not compelled, but a thing which must be persuaded, and extracted by some deservingnesse of the qualities in the party loved: then finding no such thing in the party married, they perceive how preposterous they have been, and would amend their choice, (if possible) with the forfeit of much other commodity. 
And in what respects.  But it's too late, for what shall a man give for the recompense of love if absent? or what shall it profit a man to have won a wife with, all other advantage, in whom is no true amiable thing to win affection? what a sad bondage is it, to be tied for ever to one thou canst not love? An object of discayne, of hatred, of loathsomeness, of stinch? a thing, wherein there is no dram of that which is desirable? How woeful a burlen wereit to have a dead carcase bound with cords to thy oacke, to go with thee, every where? whom thy heart tells thee, thou knowest no one woman or man of an hundred whom thou canst not as well find in thine heart to love, as her? So that in all the companies wherein thou comest, & darest utter thy thoughts, this must be the first complaint, Thou wert compelled to marry her, or him whom in thine heart thou never couldst set thy love upon: so that thou wert driven into the net, and taken, as a bird in a snare. Oh, if love be one of those joint duties which the married should continually nourish, what shall become of them, who never joined together before marriage to compass it at all? what is this, but to prepare for themselves perpetual vexation? should I call it, or desolation?  
And secondly how doth this reproove such, 
Reproof.  as although first entered not without some affection each to other, 
Branch 2.  yet, through a vain, 
Love will not nourish self, but must be nourished daily between couples.  empty, and base spirit, neglect the chary keeping of such a jewel, as love is? Tush, they think that will keep itself, although they live at random, and hang it upon every hedge. If love (say they) be the matter you talk of, let us alone, I warrant you, we love each other as much as any body, there is no love lost between us, we have one another's heart as it were in a box? Hear me I pray, what kind of love is that you mean? Is it a mere carnal and brutish appetite, or a virtuous, and religious love which I have spoken of? perhups (for the present) thou supposest thyself enamoured with some external thing which thou seest in her, not yet comparing that one, with ten other most odious qualities which in time will wear out the humorous content and doting delight, thou hast in that one. As years come on, sickness and crosses, alas, that insufficient one object being blasted, and no other object coming in the room, to hold thee satisfied, how needs must thy affection quail, & starve in thy bosom, thou shouldst first have laid the ground of thy love in such adefired object of virtue, modesty, and worth as might have held water, and not shrunk in the wetting. The most resolute loves vanish in a short time, where the fuel of love faileth. 
By what means love may be nourished.  But to go back, put case thou hadst grounds of first love to thy companion: what then? thinkest thou that this edge will hold without daily whetting? when thou foolishly, slightest the due attendance of this love, dost think it a toil to nourish it, nay darest cast water upon this sparkle, as never fearing it willbe quenched: dost thou wonder, if this thy darling is lost on the sudden, for lack of looking to? No no: thou must fix thine eyes upon those first objects, which won thy love to thy companion: not run up and down into all places, with unsavoury compliants of husbands, and wives! Not looking at the parts of others, to estrange thine heart at home. Love is a bird with wings, soon gone out of the cage of thy bosom, if it be carelessly set open. Thou sayst thou hast it in a box, but what if thou loose box and all? Therefore, shun those compleints which fools make! Oh! if my husband had the qualities of such a man, were he of such understanding, religion, parts of speech and memory, tenderness and amiableness, that such and such a one is, how could I love him? Then comes in he with the like, if my wife had the properties of such a woman, so chaste, so kind, so wise, so able to keep her tongue, and observe the laws of silence or of speech; so zealous, provident, and the like, as other women have, how worth were she of love: Dare you thus dally in so weighty a business? dare you like the gnat fond fly about the candle, as secure of burning? Oh unworthy of love, each from other! should you look out abroad upon objects which belong not unto you, hurtful, not helpful? to increase emulation and envy, not affection? what are you the nearer? Poare upon your own husband, and his parts, let him be the veil of your eyes, as Abimelec told Sara, and look no further: let her be your furthest object: 
Gen. 20. 16.  think you no virtues in any beyond hers: those that are but small, yet make them great by oft contemplation: those that are greater, esteem and value at their due rate, that you may know them to the full weight, having weighed them in the balance. This putting your sickle in your neighbour's corn, will prove too hot and heavy: it will cause your own to shalt and perish the while. It's a better work of the two for you, to think, you see wonder, in your own companions, though there be little in either; then to be quicksighted in seeing the gifts of others, be they never so excellent; at least its the far safer error of the two. It must be the mutual reflex and exchange of gracious, and sweet virtues in and from each other, rebounding as the sunbeams from the wall, that only can hold you in an invincible league of amity! The marking of each others, goodness, compassion, fidelity, chastity, which must continue that first love, which at the first they caused. You need not quench love: it's enough that you withdraw this fuel, and look upon the infirmities of each other, (the only damp, and choakepeare of affection,) these alone will kill it. And when other fuel fails (as I said before) let religion step in, and make it up: this will keep harmony in other discord. Read over that divine song of Salom. Setting out the blessed union between Christ and his spouse the Church; wherein is most lively expressed, what inward content, and feeling joy, each partakes in other, through the fight of each others perfections. She in her head, because in him, she beholds all fullness of wisdom, and grace; and he in her, because of the reboundings of those ornaments and graces of the spirit, wherewith he had furnished her. So much forthis second.  
Use 3 Thirdly this must be a serious caveat to all married couples, to nourish this their love, 
Admonition to the joint practice of conjugal love.  and to preserve it entire. Which will the more easily be obtained, if they shall consider those sad effects which come from the decay of it, in the lives of couples. 
Pro. 23. 29. 30.  As Solomon speaking of drunkenness, saith, whence are red eyes, whence are wounds, and quarrels? Are they not from the red wine? 
4. james: 1.  and St. james, whence are wars and contentions among you? Are they not from your lusts that fight in your members? you seek and enjoy not, but miscarry, in all your attempts, & see not whence your misery cometh? So say I, whence are those end less debates, differences between the married, that they are always seeking for blessing, and longing after an happy life, but still it goeth further and further from them? Alas! because they dream still the fault is without doors, in this and that, bad servants, ill success, improvidence: and sometime in each other: but never set the saddle upon the right horse: the disease is within their bosoms, they have lost their first love each to other, they are waxen sapless and unsavoury in their spirit and affection one to another. While that lasted, all went forward in a sweet manner, cart went well upon wheels: for the spirit of mutual love made it slick and trim, the oil of love set it forward: but since this was exhausted and dried up, all went to havoc, the sinews of society, the band of peace and perfection, of thrift and welfare being broken, there is a dissolution of the frame, and a shattering of all. Children have no edge to do their duties, servants have no joy to do their work, lovelesse couples are liveless & unfortunate: yea the salt having lost her favour, is good for nought, save to be trodden under the feet of contempt and scorn. 
Danger of brea●h of conjugal love is sad.  Whence are those Mock-divorces so frequent in the world, whereby couples separate from each others some from bed, from board, from house, and so far, that one shire will not hold them; being barred of a real, they please themselves in a local content, which yet lasts not, the names of each others, much more the companies being odious. Hence come those hideous precedents, of conspiracies one against the life of another; adulteries, villainies, yea murders practised against husband and wife: he who despizeth his own life is soon Mr. of another's, and how can a man choose but despise his life, 
2. King. 7. 4.  when he feels it wearisome. As those 4. Lepers said, let us be desperate, and rush upon thee Camp of Aram, for what is our life worth, we are but dead men, we cannot be worse: so may lovelesse couples say, whatsoever we do, we suffer, we cannot be worse (though we were not) thenwe are. A dead dog is as good as such a living lion. Hence again come those manifold suits and pursuites abroad, exclaiming jealousies at home: the treasure is stolen, love is gone. As he said of his Idols, 
judg. 18. 23. 24.  so I of this love, you have stolen my Gods, and do you ask me, what aileth thee? The fence is broken, the sluice is pulled up, all goes to wrack and confusion. There is as much use of a bone out of joint, yea, of a man out of his wits, as of such a couple. Fidelity, modesty, housewifery in a woman, degenerate into carelessness of body, of soul, of state, of name, into mere vanity: a woman not loving her husband will not stick, to pull one eye of her own, to pull out both of her husbands, as the fable tells: rob and spoil herself of goods, and good name, that she might spoil him. Nay many have devoted themselves to a defilement of their bodies, to be revenged each of other: mere hatred and spite hath drawn them to such sin as lust alone would not have done. This taste may be sufficient, to warn all, who be not forlorn, to look to themselves to beware how they embessel that sacred stock, which God hath inspired all such married ones withal, whom he means to sustain in this state, with integrity and honour: Marriage is honourable, keep then the pledge of it entire which is love. It's like that Image in the Capital, called the Palladium, which if it ever came to be seen and profaned, threatened ruin to their Commonwealth, therefore they kept it in a most affected secrecy and safety. God hath bestowed it to make the difficulties of the married life tolerable; (which else, the multitude of them would make irksome) and shall a man having but one string to his bow cut it in two? or a city having but one engine to defend themselves cast it away? Let it be a warning to all sorts therefore.  
Lastly, 
Exhertation to couples, to love joinly.  this point must be exhortation to couples, to practise and discharge faithfully, this joint duty of marriage ove, each to other. Wheresoever thou art, whithersoever thou goest, whatsoever thou dost, remember thou carriest about thee a precious pearl, look to it, prize it and preserve it, as thy life. There be sundry motives to press this upon willing couples, as hammers to drive this nail home to the head: and indeed I may say of it, as he once said, of one, an honest man need not, a dishonest man will not be warned: The general motive to both husband and wife, is God's charge to them: live and love. Both of you think thus, he bids it who better knows the use of it, the danger of the contrary, than such silly ones as we. Commands of God, are folemne things, especially such as serve for a trench, for a fortress, a fence to hedge in an ordinance. He that dares violate it, shall pay for it sweetly. Therefore, set your heart to obey this rule, and say its life or death: It's the crutch of your lame limbs, if that fail, you must fall, if the shores break, the house ruins. Obey God out of love: discern his sovereignty in this charge; love him and love one another. If thou love me feed my sheep: 
John. 21. 15.  saith Christ to Peter: If you love me keep my commands, 
John. 14. 15  saith he to them all. And, 
John. 15. 12.  if you love me, love each other (saith the same voice) to couples. Do not dally with such edge tools. Say not oh man! what shall I lose my liberty, and tie myself to a woman? nor she, shall I forgo my will, and tie myself to an husband? is not the world broad and large? yes, but as full of sorrow and woe, as its wide and broad, without this preservative. It is a good hard theme I grant to handle: I will therefore reach out one or two motives in particular, to each party: and because arguments for time past, as former covenants made, great affections in the first heat of youth, like May bees file away, and are soon forgot: I will mention such, as afford themselves daily to couples in the course of their life. To the man, I say, thy wife is bone of thy bone, 
2. Gen. 23.  and flesh of thy flesh: She is another self, woman made of man, taken out of thee, a glass to behold thyself in: when the Lord brought this Model of Adam's self unto him, consider how natural, how precious, how welcome she was? what? is not thy wife as natural an object to thee?  
Secondly, 
Motives to thehu● band to love his wife.  thy wife, so oft as thou lookest upon her is a deserving object of love and compassion: she hath done that for thy sake, which thou wouldst not have done for her: for she hath not only equalled thee in forsaking her father and mother, and family, that she might be one flesh with thine, but she hath forgone her name, and put all her state and livelihood into thine hand: if thou stick to her, she is well, if thou forsake her, she hath put herself out of all her other succours. Her subsisting is imperfect in herself, it's wholly substantive and real (under God) in thee? As the Lord jesus speaks of the eye, that all the sight of the body, is within it, if therefore that be dark how great is that darkness? So, if thou desert thy poor shiftless wife, and leave her mends in her own hands, how great is that desertion? Thirdly, consider how much labour is put upon a weak vessel, daily, in diligence, in stirring up the commodities of the house, in attendance upon children and family, and such providence as is required of her: Her trouble is great in the peculiar acts of marriage, great are her pains in conception, in her bearing, in her travail and bringing forth, in her nursery and bringing up, till they be out of hand at least: and some women exceed others in this kind: for some shift off this work carelessly, and commit their babes to strangers, as if they were too good to nurse them, when as yet their breasts are full, and their bodies strong: whereas others put forth themselves to the uttermost, and therefore deserve double affection. Consider oh man, if not the drudgery of thy wife in this kind, (if there were not a command and promse to make it sweet) than that finger of God, and providence, disposing so, that a weak one should do that with patience and cheerfulness, (as a work of her place) which all thy strength were not able to turn thy hand unto: Love her for that impression of divine wisdom, which thou seest stamped upon her: what man were able to endure that clamour, annoyance, and clutter which she goes through without complaint among poor nurslines, clothing, feeding, dressing and undressing picking and cleansing them; what is it save the instinct of love which enableth her hereto? Who hath taught the poor bird, even a silly Wren to make her so curious a nest, as exceeds all art of man to effect? Is it not the natural instinct which love hath put in her? so oughtest thou to nourish that love in thy wife which puts her forth to all her marriage service? If God were not in her spirit she would cast it often times, o'er she would go through stitch with it, as she doth. It's the best requital which can be given her from man, to help digest so many sour morsels, sad businesses; & all too little. For it must be the Lord who must tell her; 
1 Tim. 2. 15.  That although she bear her punishment in her childbearing, yet it shallbe sweetened by mercy, for she shallbe saved thereby, & obtain more glory thereby, through faith & patience, than she who bears not. But above all, the grace of God, in so frail a creature: the wisdom of the spirit shining in her words, counsels, actions, examples, should be most admirable of all, and the chief loadstone to draw affection from the husband, 
1 Sam. 25. 39  as in David's esteem of Abigail in that kind, may appear.  
The like may be said of the man, 
Motives to the wife to love him.  to draw respect and honour from the woman, (if she be not degenerate) and to love her husband: For why? In him may she behold yet more manifest steps of God's image then in herself. They say, there is in some kinds as much of the Creator in the Ant, as in the Lion: in the former, excellent skilfulness, in the other, power and majesty: So here. In the man shines out more authority, government, forecast, sovereignty, then in the woman: By the man, as she at first received her being; so, still she enjoys from him countenance, protection, direction, honour: in a word (under God) light and defence. To these add, They entered their league solemnly, but they shall part sadly; A time there is to embrace, but there shall be a time far from embracing. Improve it well therefore, love, live, and leave. Bitter else will the review be of a life past, representing the fruits of a lovelesse marriage, a tedious pilgrimage, whereas the memory of a loving husband or wife shall allay the bitterness of death to the survivor. And indeed if that indenture which couples first make solemnly to God, to keep this sacred knot inviolable, and unstayned, were well kept: this darling would grow up in the house, as that poor man's only lamb did, whereof Nathan tells David, 
2 Sam. 12. 3.  which eat with him at the Table, slept with him in his bosom, and was to him, as one of his children: (so Bathsheba and Vrya are described) so dear I say, should this pledge be to them both, and through it they each to other; strongly fenced before hand, against all occasions of the contrary, (for that which preserves itself, always destroys the contrary) and so providing that this twin may live and die with them together. Some dream that old folks are past love: and foolishly impropriate it to the heat of youth: but alas, the anciently married (if right) may as ill want it as the young; yea worst of all when old age hath proved it to be sound; then may the married cease to love when they cease to live. Therefore roll each stone to find this grace: buy it whatsoever it cost, fell it not, whatsoever you may have for it: lest you be as he who sold his birthright: which once gone could be no more recovered, though sought with never so many tears. And truly for the most part, it's noted, that when it once gets a fall, it proves almost impossible to solder it again; being as the native heat and moisture of the body, which once spent (they say) is irrecoverable. And so much of this second joint duty of the married, Conjugal love.   

CHAP. VIII.  
Treating of the 3. joint duty of the Married, viz. Chastity.  
THe third mutual service of the married followeth to be spoken of, 
Thirde mutum all duty of the married, Chastity.  to wit Chastity. A dignity, held by a duty, both the virtue of preserving it, and they who are the preservers of it, are honourable, And, while we are discoursing about this, we seem to be in the centre, in the chief of the honour of marriage. Other honours are excellent additions and ornaments, but this the being of it: marriage delights in being quiet, peaceable, rich, in credit, but, provided always the main be entire, else they lose their value. As it is with the rich, 
Chastity the m●yn joint duty of the Married.  their pleasures, feasts, companies, and liberties please them will, but how? still presupposing the oote to be sound, their stock and state to be unquestionable. Every accidental of marriage is pleasant, because chastity which makes it so, is taken for granted. It is the fairest flower, the richest jewel in the garland, the crown of marriage. And well it may be so styled: for as a crown is blasted, if it have a peer, and a competitor to amate i●, so is this, if the chastity thereof be impaired. The want of other happinesses may in a sort, be supplied in this: the wife is sheepish, or shrewish, or the like; but the comfort is, she is chaste. Whereas if she be unchaste, there is no comfort in it, that she is fair, rich, personable or well bred. The peculiarity of Marriage stands in chastity. I am desirous that my money, my land, my friend be my peculiar ones, and that no man may have a right in them save myself; yet rather than I should want them, I had rather have them in a community, then want them altogether: But chastity is such a peculiar of marriage, that I rather choose infintely to have no husband, no wife at all, than one that is unchaste. Many endowments so honour marriage, when they are present, as that yet being absent, they disannul her not: they make it a sad, an uncheerfull one, but undo it not: chastity is so real, so essential an attribute, that the absence thereof, quite destroys the being thereof.  
The institution of Christ is sufficient to approve this duty. 
Proofs of it.  They two shallbe one flesh: not two, not three, not joined to this harlot, 
Math 196.  that Adulterer. Malachi tells us, he who had spirit enough in him to have devized and bestowed ●●●ther elbowroome in this kind, 
Mal. 2. 15.  yet foresaw, that closeness and entireness of spirit, such as the married couples ought to embrace, cannot subsist in multitude: the first number, two, are enough, to grow into one flesh: and love would vanish into lust, baseness and brutish commonnes, if the bridle were let loose into manifold copulation. Sin not therefore (saith the Prophet) against the husband and wife of thy flesh: nay sin not against him that made them one flesh, and only them: for that were to tax his spirit and ordinance. And wherein do rational creatures differ from sensual, save in this honourable peculiarness, and propriety? which, not the scriptures have revealed, but the very law of nature hath dictated and engraven in the minds of the very heathens: who have censured promiscuous lust with as severe laws, as the word itself; many of them I say, especially in case of adultery. As for that looseness of the first times, where in men took the liberty, both of many wives, and of those frequent divorces, whereby they stained their bodies with unbridled pollutious: although the former were permitted in the first times of the church, the number whereof was scant, (being cooped within the narrow bounds of one family) and the latter winked at by the Lord, and his government, for the unavoidable hardness and rebellion of that jewish nation: yet neither was allowed of, but abhorred, & as the times grew more enlightened, so such commonness and vagrancy of lust, grew to be restrained, till it was quite out of practice. Hence that of the Apostle, having dissuaded marriage in times of danger and persecution: Nevertheless (saith he) to avoid Fornication, 
2. Cor. 7. 2.  let every man have his own wife, and woman, her husband. And in the rules given to Ministers, the same Apostle foreseeing what a sad precedent the common sort would snatch to themselves from the practice of the Minister; precisely chargeth him, that if he marry (which he forbids not) yet he should be the husband of one wife. 
1. Tim. 3. 2.  Noting doubtless, that all Chastity is not seen in abstinence from strange flesh: but in the restraint of corruption from colouring over uncleanness, with a marrying of many; which is a double sin, not only mocke-adultery, but a defiling of an ordinance with that pollution which it abhors, and sin (as it were) by privilege. And let every man (saith Paul) learn how to preserve the vessel of his own body, 
1. Thes. 4. 4.  in holiness and honour: mark how the one goes with the other! 
1. Cor. 3. 16. 17.  why doth he press it? because it's the Temple of the holy Ghost; and he who defiles the temple of God, him will God destroy. We need go no further to prove this duty of Chastity, to be the Crown of marriage, than that text: (keep your vessels in honour:) we know a like phrase of the Old Testament when a man shall lie which a maid, 
D●ut. 21. 14.  he having humbled her: what's that? surely he hath taken her honour of chastity away: her credit is gone. And fitly in this text, the Apostle proves marriage to be Honourable by the undefiledness of the bed: God (saith he) hath put honour upon it (as carnal a thing as it seems) pour not you any contempt upon it by unchastenesse. So jacob saith in his dying words to Reuben, 
Gen 49. 4.  Although thou art my strength and crown by thy first borneship: yet because thou went up to thy Father's bed, thou art unstable as water, thy dignity is gone. And the child (we know) begotten thus, is called a Base: A mark of dishonour to Father and itself. 
Pro. 6. 33.  Solomon tells us, that such an one gets himself a blur, 
judg. 11. 3. 4.  which never will out. 
judg. 16. 21.  Jephtha a valiant man, yet a bastard, was scorned, and cast out from among his brethren, had no child's portion; and Samson by his wild lust became of an honourable judge, a fool in Israel.  
Chastity then (you see) is a general duty, 
Amplification of this Truth.  for all them, who seek to maintain their honour unstained, nothing doth cleave so deeply to marriage as this: I have noted before some accidental stains by unequalness, when Ladies and their horsekeepers, young girls and old men match together, when a Prince marries a beggar, a bad with a good, a christian with an heathen or heretic, or if marriage prove contentious and unpleasant, who sees not a reproach? But these are such stains, as may be washed out in time; either by repentance, or (in a sort) by second better marriages. Only the stain of unchasteness, is like an iron-mole, which nothing can fetch out; it's like the leprosy which fretted into the walls; no scraping the stones could cleanse it, 
Levit. 14 44. 45.  but it must be demolished: Death may end the parties, but not the memory of the shame: David's repentance took away the guilt, but not the reproach, that abides to this day. So then, as I have began with the duty of love, (which must be the first, and inward cement of couples (for what's crystal worth if it be broken?) I say, as loves is the inward band of preserving, because the outward action followeth the affection: so now, I proceed with chastity, which is the main Charter of love, and the patent thereof, evidencing that the heart loves entirely, because the bodies are kept pure from pollution. I deny not, but there are thousands of none of the most loving ones, nor religious ones, who yet loath adultery and filthiness in this kind: but yet there are many also, not the worst for repute, whose marriages are spotted with this stain: and all to show, that where the root wants, ten to one, if the branches do not wither. The restraint of providence is such by a common light, that many are kept perforce from this dishonour. And yet this proves not, but that the inclinations and temptations of others are such, that they lie open to this snare, as much as to any. We must not neglect the urging of the duty, because some are innocent: for some are so in same who are not in deed, and some in deed, who are not in spirit, and some in spirit and yet no thank to them: let the point fasten as it may: and find out the guilty: (the guiltless are out of the compass of it.) But the age is generally debauched, and iniquity carries all as a flood before it; Although the second part of this Treatise, treating of the denunciation against this sin, may perhaps more fully discover this disease with the cure of it: yet here (by so fit occasion) I shall press the jointnesse and honour of the duty, by a few reasons, exhortation, and motives.  
Reason. Touching Reasons: this may be one, Chastity is the main support of union, 
Chastity the main support of union.  as the contrary is the chief dissolver of it. No other fault (if once the marriage be lawfully consummated) doth jnferre just separation (by authority of the word) save this of uncleanness. Therefore needs must that which mainteins union be the greatest pillar and prop of marriage. Prostitution of the body, profanes the honour of it and casts it into the mire: and therefore the Cardinal virtue that must bear it up, must be this Chastity. If so, then ought it by joint consent to be maintained by both parties.  
Reason. 2 Secondly it must be jointly done, because, although, the honour of pure marriage requires both to conspire in mutual chastity, yet the defilement of either party is sufficient to overthrow the honour of it. 
The defilement of each party, is enough to defile the whole state of marriage.  As we say of a virtuous action, all points must concur to make it good, but any one defect in those will serve to make it vicious, so here. Marriage dishonour doth not need the consent of both the parties dishonesty: if one be disloyal, it's as good as both. Not before God in point of guilt: but men in point of honour: for to manward, guilt and reproach, ● (in a sort, especially here) lose their difference: the innocent party, being pitied with as much dishonour, as the guilty is reproached. Therefore this joint duty of chastity must be supported most carefully, by the joint care and pureness of both parties. Add hereto, that defect of this joint closeness may bring a shame upon marriage, (though perhaps not so great yet as true) as well as a greater crime committed. As the Philosopher saith, glory is not in the glorified, he is but the object; the agent is the glorifier. Therefore fame and report is well called by some, the married ones Saint. For by fame they either stand or sink. Now, how easily may fame snatch the least neglect of the married in this kind, to raise suspicions? How closely curious had they need be of their course, and pureness, who cannot keep their own honour in their own power sometime, do what they can? Is it not the misery of many to be defamed without cause? Neither smoke nor fire appearing, but perhaps some mistake, error, or advantage of a foul mouth being the spark that kindleth the fire: And yet it sometimes little avails (for the point itself of honour) whether a man be guilty, or be taken so. How great had that caution need to be, that should preserve the honour of chastity?  
Reas. 3 The third may be this, (as I noted before) God setting his print and mark of honour upon marriage, 
God hath ordained one for one.  in appointiug one to one. How serious and solemn ought the meditation of this charge be, being not humane, but divine? And, (to repeat nothing) If the violation of this sacred band, had such a blemish cast upon it by the Lord, when yet it was covered over with a mantle of connivance, and the practice of so many holy patriarchs and Saints who were guilty of it: what shall be said now of that uncleanness, which proclaims itself like Sodom? If Polygamy were a state of uncleanness in God's esteem, and seldom went without a scare from God's stroke (as in Jacob and David and Elbana's cases appears, especially in that exorbitancy of Solomon) what shall be said of that which carries the bastard at the back, and wants the least rag of any veil to colour or excuse it? Attend this reason, and shun this sin.  
Reas. 4 Fourthly, that must needs be looked unto jointly by both the couples, 
It covers all other defects.  which hath such a covering faculty in it, and sets the varnish and lustre, upon each other endowment of it. 
But itself can be covered by no endowments.  My wife hath defects, but she is loyal: by unavoidable errors she may offend, but by voluntary she will not. From her the honour of my marriage comes even when both of us are dead and gone, in our lawful posterity, the Crown of parents. She is beautiful, (saith one) personable, well descended, rich saith another; yea but she is chaste, saith a third, this crowns all. What else were her beauty, but her bane? her devotion but profaneness? She that thought no crumbe clavae to her lips, because she had paid her vows, yet escapes not her eternal reproach, because she was a disloyal harlot. Tell me, wert thou married to a chaste wife, blind of an eye, lame of an hand, a leg, whether wouldst thou change her for one sound in all, being unchaste? I trow not. That which then covers all wants, is worth the due improoving and careful attendance.  
Reas. 5 Fiftly, this chastity is the corner stone, that holds in all the parts of the building. 
It's the corner stone, which holds in the whole building.  A chaste wife hath her eyes open, ears watching, heart attending upon the welfare of the family, husband, children and servants: she thinks that all concern her; estate, content, posterity: this rivets her into the house: makes her husband trust to her, commit all to her, heart and all. But the unchaste, having lost his or her heart, is loosened from the whole body, thinks nothing pertaining to her: is ready to part the children, leaving the lawfully, and choosing the misbegotten for her portion, that so she may go to her Paramour. That which Saul (through mistake) thought Michal would prove to David, 
1 Sam. 18. 28.  that doth an unchaste one (without doubt) prove to her husband, a very snare. That which I said before of love, may be said of her sister chastity, she is painful, close, doth all things, hopeth, believeth, endureth all things without grudging. The frost is nothing by night, the heat by day, toil in both, because he loveth her, she him, each are faithful, loyal to other. Who should not nourish that tree, which hath such branches?  
Whereupon some think the English and Latin words (Chaste) do come from a greek word, signifying to Adorn, noting that Chastity is one of the chief ornaments of the married: and so of all in either sex. One saith. As the face of a statue or fair picture razed, or the head rend off: so is the most beautiful, rich, honourable person, if Chastity be gone. Its (as that father speaks) The Ornament of the Noble, the exaltation of the low, the Beauty of the Abject, the solace of the sorrowful, the increase of beauty, the glory of religion, the friend of the Creator.  
Reas. 6 Lastly, 
●e●●use in somerespects it makes marriag Honourable.  Chastity preserves marriage in honour, and aught to be jointly again preserved, because it preserves that joint ●lessi●g of God, which makes it honourable: and that, in sundry respects. 1. of the fruitfulness of the womb. Many think a fruitful posterity rather a cross, 
12 ps. 3. 8. 1.  than a blessing: but the godly are of his mind, who said, she shallbe as the fruitful vine, 
Fruitfulness of womb.  by the side of thine house, and thy children, as olyve plants round about thy table: 
Numb. 5. 21.  The adulterer and adulteress, are cursed with barren wombs, fruitless bodies. There is not now such a cursed water to try the unclean, by rotting the womb, and bowels of the harlot; nor to become a water of blessing to the chaste. But in stead thereof, there is a curse of God, upon the one, and a blessing upon the other. Even the adulterine mixtures of Beasts (as the Mule coming from the Ass and the Mare) have a brand of barrenness, nature stopping all infiniteness and confusion, as most contrary to herself; how much more the bodies of adulterous husbands and wives? and whereas it is objected, Object. some harlots are fruitful, and some chaste wyves are barren; Answ. the answer is, still the curse holds upon the bastard fruit of the one, and the blessing upon the soul of the other. As the Prophet encourages those holy eunuchs, that kept God Sabbaths, that it should go better with them, then if they had sons and daughters; 
Isai. 56. 4.  even a place should be given them in the house of God, and an everlasting name, that never should be cut off: So doth he here, to all chaste ones; when he cuts off the cursed race of the unclean, than he continues to the godly (though barren) a better name than posterity could attain unto. Secondly, to the chaste belongs the blessing of legitimation; 
2 Respect.  but to the unclean, the curse of illegitimate ones; 
Blessing of 〈◊〉.  to bring Bastards into the family as lawful heirs, how execrable, and how unnatural is it? The children of Gilead cast out jephtah, because he was the stranger's issue: Sara said well of Ishmael, 
Gen. 21. 10.  The son of this stranger (though of her own gift) shall not inherit with my son Isaac. But the curse of Adulterous is, to leave their wealth to bastards. As the Lord cursed the garment made of mixed lmsey and wolsey: the field sown with sundry kinds of grain together: so much more, the illegitimate posterity of defiled persons. As Eagles feathers consume the feathers of other fowls; so, the unlawful brood of the unclean devours he lawful, till at last that fire consume them and all, which is threatened the children of the whore & the Adulterer, for it was unlawful fire that begat them, & the same shall kindle and burn, till it have destroyed them. And thirdly, 
3. The curse of si● turned to blessing by Chastity.  to the Chaste, even a curse is turned to a blessing: The sorrows of conception and birth, turn to the salvation of the pure and chaste (being faithful) whereas the blessing of marriage turneth to a curse to the other. As all things are impure to the impure, 
13. Levit. 49.  as the ceremony also made the things and vessel to be defiled, whether wood or stone, which the leper touched: But especially to the impure in bodies, yea, their very consciences are as impure as their flesh, and thereby, whatsoever thy do touch, use, partake, or possess, is made filthy, because their nasty consciences tell them so. Even so, To the pure, all things become pure; As our Saviour saith of alms, 
Tit. 1 15.  Give alms to the poor of that you have, and all the whole lump of your estate, shallbe clean unto you: 
Luc. 11. 41.  So here, If couples keep themselves pure, in body and spirit, pure are their prayers, readings, conference, Sabbaths, Sacraments, service of God: yea in Christ, all things are pure unto them, their health, estate, eating and drinking, duties, fellowship and benevolence, bed and board, and all they take in hand. Now (to finish the reason) if it be under such a threefold blessing, then ought so happy a virtue as Chastity, to be jointly preserved by both the married persons.  
Quest. But here it willbe demanded, how should Chastity in Marriage be preserved? and in how many things stands it? I answ. 
How Chastity may be preserved.  In these four. First in the Chastity of the spirit. Secondly, of prevention. Thirdly of the Bed. Lastly of the Body. Answ. For the first, the centre of Chastity is the mind and spirit. 
4. ways.  If that be pure, there need be no keepers (as he once said of those Romans, 
1. The spirit.  the richer sort of whom kept their wyves chastity, 
2. Prevention.  by eunuchs) if that be unclean, no keepers will serve the turn, 
3. Bed.  unbrideled lust (like the wild fig) will soon mount over the wall. 
4. Body.  The first care than must be, 
Math. 12. 24.  to keep that clean from whence (as our Saviour saith) all filth proceeds, I mean the heart. Get the Lord jesus to come in with his spirit, to cleanse thine husband, thy wife, to wash them, and make them undefiled to himself, as his own spouse, without spot, or wrinkle of wilful baseness; Get him to cleanse that Augean stable, that throughsayre of base thoughts, (the master wheel of your soul, the will and affections) the thief that betrays all: and then, the root being pure, so shall the branches be. Solomon aims at this; my son give me thy heart, and let thine eyes delight in my ways. 
Pro. 2●. 26.  And why? he adds, for an whore is a deep ditch, and a strange woman is a narrow pit: 
The. 1.  q. d. if thine heart be pure thine eyes and senses, 
Chast●●y of spirit must be kept, against Contemplative uncleanness.  thy body and members shall follow, and not delight in the false hue of an harlot. Who is he whom God loves? surely him who is upright in spirit, such an one, & only such shallbe kept from her, but the sinner shallbe caught in her snares. If the thoughts be impure, they will betray the body to the eyes, ears, and company of the unclean, and Satan will play the Proctor, soon bringing one unclean person to another. There is a contemplative filthiness of the fancy and senses, (which the Lord counts the Adultery of the spirit) by baseness of spirit within, nourishing unloyall conceits, inward dallyances, capering thoughts and fancies of uncleanness, both sleeping and waking: and so set the door open to outward actual defilement, (which although providence restrain) yet are odious to God, and will break out in time. Yet I would here speak with caution. I know in the best, (unmarried or married) there be naturally planted these imaginary and Idëall uncleannesses, steaming up from the furnace of concupiscence, a natural principle, not always subject to the law of grace: it is a law of the members, in a double sense, a dye in grain; but yet, so long as it is abhorred, opposed, and quenched by all possible diligence, it shall not be imputed: (provided that the means to subdue it, be not slighted.) But I speak of an heart permitted to itself, without control, and bridle. For when the door stands loose upon the latch, how soon may it be opened? crack glasses, we know, last not long: they wait but for the next knock and then are gone. 
Why so needful.  Alas! what thank is it for a man not to be unclean, for lack of opportunity! or because he was overruled for a time? The religion of these times, is come to this. Suspect by men what you will, so you can prove nothing, what care they for giving occasions of never so much suspicion. Is this thy honesty, that because thou canst weary them in the court, who accuse thee, therefore thou art chaste? Nay, because thou darest purge thyself by oath, (like a forsworn wretch) therefore thou hast wiped every crumb of thy lips? Is not thy conscience as a thousand witnesses nevertheless? I tell thee, thou hast thy brand in heaven already and perhaps upon earth too, or else art next door to it. And what odds is there between these two, not to be approved for chaste, or to be thought unclean? It's hard to say, whether many men and women have lost their credit or their chastity sooner. Lust if once it kindle, (as the sparkle will kindle to a great fire) will soon snare us, and bring forth fruit unto death. But, if there be pureness in the bent of the spirit, and the sway of the soul tends to Chastity, the streams will easily become pure. So much for the first.  
Secondly, 
The. 2.  there must be chastity of Prevention also. That is a narrow survey of the cinque-ports of the soul, 
Chastity of prevention necessary.  by which traitors to Chastity arrive at the shore. Preserve the in-lets of your Soul, I mean the out ward senses, ears, eyes, inward fancy, and Ideas of evil, closely and firmly, and then the body will follow Still we must proceed by degrees. The spirit lets in sin to the body, by these conduits and Channels. David sweetly prayeth, set a door before my lips O Lord! 
What is?  so, set a watch before my senses, that there come in no vanity! Lord not only lead me not thyself into tentation, but forestall all other tempters, that I be not led: for thou preservest the souls of thy Saints, and he whom thou lovest, escapes them all, which another at one time or other, shall assuredly fall into. 
2. Sam. 11. 2.  It was David's misery to cast his eye from the roof of his house, in an unwatchful manner, and there wanted not one to further the occasion. So Samson. Those who loath the act, will also abhor the fomenters thereof, all extravagances of senses, and sensuality: all setting themselves to sale, haunting of markets, fairs, night-metings, wakes, dance, and common festivals, which with all the like occasions, Alehouse haunting, or frequenting of forbidden and noted houses, as give aim to the flesh, to play her part: All needless travails and jorneyes, without warrant, 
Gen. 34. 1.  among multituds of all sorts all Dina-like rovings, & gaddings about, without due cause: all loose carrying about the eyes through the air of the world; All gestures, becks, aims, of an unchaste heart, soon appear to such as are of like temper: birds of a feather will flock together. Intemperate diet, excess of gamings, delights, pampering the flesh; amorous books, sonnets, stageplayss effeminate disguizing & araying of one sex in the others attire, (a thing censured by all writers) both moral and divine; jesting, and unsavoury rotten communications, allusions, similitudes and discourses: what are they, but as bawds and Panders to uncleanness? Drinking of hot inflaming wines or waters in an usual distempered custom, (no infirmity of nature requiring) what are they (in bodies hot and lustful of themselves) save inflaming of lust, and spurring of a running horse? I say especially in such persons, as neither make use of the ordinance, nor yet abstain from excess of provocation? Must not (of necessity) such sinful plethory, have a like vent? And where there is no Chastity of prevention, making men abstinent from promiscuous occasions, is it like there will be Chastity of body, like occasion being offered of the one as the other? No doubtless, a body desirous to be Chaste, will also be very cautelous of meat, drink, fashions, softness, delicacy and pleasures, which will be as oil to the flame: and he who is not chaste in the suburbs, is not to be trusted in the city: Dives in all his riot and luxuriousness, must scape hard, if he were not incontinent.  
This argument (I know) is common: 
Why this is here urged?  I need not insist: save only for the custom of these days, which will needs separate means from ends, and be seen going onward to the Den, and not seen to come back, and yet maintain it, that they kept out! This is to divide the things, which God hath not separated: I give to all who would shun this plague, the counsel belonging to it, soon, far, slowly: Get from such occasions, as soon: go from them as far; and return to them as slowly as possible thou canst. If thine eye, thy right hand, or foot cause thee to offend, pluck them out, and cut them off, (not as Origen did carnally) and cast them from thee; but make thyself a spiritual Eunuch for the Kingdom of God, and for chastity, use all contrary means, of holding under thy flesh, and boxing it till it be black and blue (to use Paul's word) if thou wilt preserve thy vessel in honour: 
2 Cor. 12. 7.  yea, count all too little. If this counsel be meet for the married themselves who are under the remedy, what shall be said to the unmarried? Surely I say, touch not pitch lest thou be defiled. 
job. 31. 1.  Make covenants with your eyes with job; remember our Saviour's divinity, beyond the Pharisees: forefeele all your steps and passages; put your knife to your throats, if ye be given to your appetite, and venture not upon forbidden dainties, to try if they will surfeit you. But, if after all means, both of prevention, and preservation of body and spirit from this taint, yet you feel your natures to recoil, and concupiscence to want ears, 
1 Cor. 9 7.  then hear that voice behind you, saying, marry and burn not. But yet, take this counsel with you, still carry this rule of prevention with you into that estate, lest you marry and burn too, and so the disease will, if not be worse for the remedy, yet may prove never the better for it.  
The third is, 
The third, chastity of the bed.  the chastity of the bed. The Apostle tells us here, the bed is undefiled. Surely (as he told his children, at his death, they should find their Kingdom, so I may say of this) It is as it's used, and kept. For its the great wisdom of God, which hath so concealed our infirmity, and covered it with honour, that the bed should be honourable. But it imports us so to keep it then: and that, against a double infirmity. The one of snaring, the other of defiling us. 
Two extremes here.  By snaring, I mean, defrauding each other, by any means, under any colours: as when by discord, and difference of minds, the body is disabled: when the one party, denies due benevolence to the other; 
The first.  by pretended excuses, to satisfy a base heart: when religion and conscience, or infirmity are falsely alleged to cross the ordinance; In this case let the Apostle overrule: Let the husband and wife, 
1 Cor. 7. 3.  yield each to other, etc. refuse not the lawful and sober use of the remedy, (except when both in private consent in some extraordinary duty, for some little season before) some add the preparation of the Sabbath, rather I suppose from a pious heart, than the warrant of the word, although I wholly yield to the equity of that abstinence, so there be no snare of a rule: for he that generally follows this light must not be snared by any rule (except he have vowed it voluntarily, and then it binds in another kind.) But, I leave the decision of that, to the wisdom of such as can discern between expediency and inexpediency, lest Satan prevent us: for we know his devices how he seeks to snare them that are weak, against their intentions, and under colour of a better pureness, he seeks to breed a weariness and disdain of the ordinance. He is an unclean spirit, and cannot brook that which holiness hath invented, to prevent sin. Let such as are privy to this rebellion, humble themselves and repent, remembering that marriage takes off the propriety which each had before in himself, and gives away the power of the body of each to other without contradiction. And, there is more in this, than most will take notice of. And some openly profess that they abhor this judgement, being yet expressly grounded upon the letter of Scripture.  
The second extreme is on the left hand, 
The second.  when men abuse marriage to a defiling of themselves, and under pretence of general lawfulness, run into excess. This is as odious as the former. It's not the wisdom of a Christian, to choose the uttermost brink of the river to walk upon, because it threatens slipping in: nor of his liberty, because it's allowed. Our greatest offences are commonly about things lawful, when as we dare not attempt the unlawful: whereas religion is much more tried in the use of liberties allowed us. And its strange under what sorry and thin covers, the conscience of one will shroud itself when as once it hath cast off the love of closeness: half a loaf is better to a Libertine, than no bread. Whereas a sound spirit should think thus, In this God tries me, what mettle I am made of, whether to betender of a command, when I have the bridle laid upon my own neck, or to run away with my uttermost liberty, when I have some granted to me. Doubtless he who will take all that he can, in liberties, shows he is but kept in by violence, in commands, and but for shame, would desire God's cords were more slack, and suited to his lusts. I speak, because it might scarcesly be believed what baseness, immoderateness, and licentiousness grows in many even by the occasion of the former point, of benevolence. They will stretch it beyond the bounds of modesty, and bring themselves into such a bad custom, that a Bear robbed of her whelps may be met with and stopped, as easily as they crossed of their lascivious and luxurious appetite. Some brutishly imagining, 
Levit. 20. 18.  that the very law of God forbidding carnal knowledge (during the term forbidden) was but a ceremony, not grounded upon the perpetual natural absurdity of the action: wherein they bewray themselves by their swinish appetites, to have drowned the true dictamen of nature in themselves, which most heathens themselves acknowledged.  
Others are wholly ignorant of all pureness and chastity, in the demeanour of themselves each to other: for though Isahac and Rebecca sported themselves, 
Gen. 26. 8.  yet doubtless in no base or uncomely manner very Philosophers and Politicians in their laws made for the good of Commonwealthes, led by no Scripture or religion, yet for the preservation of health, vigour and strength of body, for the shunning of diseases occasioned by this, as well as unclean mixtures, have set down their judgements touching the modesty and mediocrity of marriage converse, forbidding frequency and licentious use of it; I had rather express myself so, under their person, then in mine own words, knowing to what language he exposeth himself of scorners and profane people, 
Heathens shame us Christians in this.  who doth but glance this way. I say not as they say (Plato and others) once weekly, or thrice monthly might be a model of convenience in this kind, for the greater part of number of men's bodies: because I know, there can be no set rule for all persons, seasons of marriage, and varieties of bodies, because variety of subjects, causeth variety of rule. But this I affirm, that if heathens could rove at such a mark, in the dimness of their light, and all for the restraint of excess: I should think it rather meet that Christians, especially in years, (who by their place should teach the younger to be sober) should rather aim at being under the line, then above it. But as it is not youth (where there is a chaste spirit) that can provoke to excess in this kind: so neither is it age (in any profession) if it be once tainted with defilednesse, which will persuade men to moderateness: but as bruit beasts, their will is their law, and even in those things they know, yet they corrupt themselves to the grief and sad woe of their companions, who know not how to redress it. Loath I am to speak that in this argument, with many sentences, yea in two words, if one might serve; and heartily wish, which yet never will be obtained, that (at least) the religious might be laws to themselves in such kinds. But the experience of the contrary may plead some pardon for that little I have said. Some must speak, and where more aptly, then in a treatise for the nonce.  
But how shall we know when this due measure is observed? 
Marks to know the moderation of the bed.  Surely then when snaring concupiscence is prevented, and fitness of body and mind thereby purchased, freely to walk with God, and to discharge duties of calling, without distraction or annoyance. And so doing, much freedom may be enjoyed (both the former extremities being avoided) and Gods wrath prevented: which I cannot say, whether it more hangs over the heads of superstitious Papists, for vowing a forced chastity, contrary to the express rule of the word, or upon married persons, 
Popish forced chastity.  for abuses in either of the two kinds. Concerning the former, we know both into what odious enormity of lust the Lord hath suffered them to be plunged, both unnatural, and unlawful; making them the execration of the world, for their lust. Touching the latter, I leave it to the experience of the wise to consider; 
And affected Abstinence from the benefit of the Bed compared.  Both what vexation the neglect of this ordinance hath caused to many, who under pretexts of their own, have refused the mutual due to each other; who afterwards, seeing what woeful snares they have brought themselves into, as seeking the Company of harlots and adulterers, have been deeply terrified, wishing too late, with sorrow, that they had denied themselves and subjected them to the ordinance. And so for the other extremity, when due regard of Chastity hath been neglected, what weakness, diseases, inability of body and mind to calling and duty hath ensued! 
Inconvensence of both unjust abstinence and excess of liberty compared.  Yea further, when presumptuous lust hath broken bounds, of womanly modesty, counting all seasons alike, what marks hath God set upon their own bodies for their incontinency, & so upon the bodies of their Children, yea and upon their minds, and whole constitution, the one by disguizement of countenance, the other by defilednesse with the like sin, (for what was bred in bone, will not eazily out in flesh:) when as I say, men have met with these penalties, than they have justly confessed wrath to cease upon them. And indeed, although there were no religion, yet if men were but Philosophers, to understand the natural mischief and poison of such ways, they could not but loathe them. Therefore, let a wise mediocrity be observed: sanctifying our fellowship and fruit of bodies by earnest prayer, that both may be clean to us; Make not that help, which God hath given as water to quench, as oil to inflame; There is a white Devil aswell to corrupt, as a black to abhor the remedy. But such debauched filthiness the looseness of our age is come to, in all kind of lust, that I verily think if those chaste Plato's and Lawgivers of old times, were now living, although Heathens, yet would be scorned by many Epicures and Libertines in the Church: who think it a curb to their will, not to live as they list, worse than beasts, and Savages. Be we therefore, who stand to God's bar, a rule to ourselves, following the steps and practice of such, as in our own degree, and rank go for the most moderate in either sex. As he said of the endless questions arising about moral actions, let it be, as a wise man would judge, so I say of this: for questions of this nature are so impossible to be decided punctually, as other the like are of fashions, and liberties of our common life, that except they be put to a compromise, there willbe no end made. So much for this third.  
The fourth and last Chastity is that of the body. 
The fourth & last head of the mutual duty, is the Chastity of Body.  This I make one duty by itself. For although its true, that if the three former were kept, this would follow alone; yet I say, when all is done, the body is not to be trusted too far. This sin of uncleanness is a running sore in our flesh, hardly cured. Even many (otherwise good) persons, though kept from the act, yet by all their strife have scarce felt themselves free, through a bodily propenseness to this evil. And Satan is ready to do in this, so in other sins, even by how much the sin is loathed, by so much the more to exasperate this sin: not to speak of the falls of those worthies in Scripture. So that, except there be a special arming ourselves, against Snares objected and laid in our ways (which are innumerable in the lives of such men, as have to meddle in the affairs of this life) and that, with resolution, both before, and upon the occasion, to preserve ourselves: all our former course taking to shun temptations by our senses and the like, will do us no pleasure, when they are brought home by the Devil to our door, and laid in our lap, presented in a Lordly dish, with secrecy, ease and fair Colours. Mere suddenness of affront (mark what I say) when nothing else could do it, hath prevented some, that it hath made them all their life, slaves and miserable. Take heed, bring not unclean bodies to the married estate and bed: lest being married, this dog be not easily rated from the carrion. There must aswell be a fidelity of body as spirit, an holy strength to ward off blows, to cut off deadly temptations by the middle, by our well ordered members, as not to call them in, by well awed senses and carriage. chaste joseph was not only resolved not to provoke himself to sin, 
Gen. 39 8.  but when he was suddenly surprised by the offer of an harlot unsought for, he abhorred the object, as if he had been warned beforehand. It's one thing for a man to have grace, another thing to have such a presence of it, that when our base hearts are in a readiness to embrace, present grace is nearer the door to thrust it away, & abhor it. There is more danger in a prepared snare, made ready to our hand, then in the speculation or foresight of that, which may possibly befall us. So much for this fourth: which I call Chastity of the body, in a special sense, to note, even how the whole man ought to be as well strengthened against the suddenness of a temptation, as beforehand kept from the means leading thereto. And perhaps there are some sorts of men, whose sad experience will construe my meaning herein, better than others can.  
I now conclude the whole Chap. with use of exhortation and with some short direction to set it home. 
Exhortation to the duty of Chastity.  First I say, let all who desire to preserve the honour of their marriage, look to their Chastity. Drink of the waters of thine own well, but, let the Cistern be thine own; Seek not to strangers; 
Pro. 5. 〈◊〉. and 9  give not thy strength to the harlot, and thy years to the cruel. Abhor all sweetness of stolen waters, let not thy teeth water after forbidden dainties, lest thou find bitterness in the end. If meddling with thy neighbour's hedge, thou mayst fear lest a serpent bite thee, how much more with his bed? Let thine own wife delight thee, she is the woman whom thou choosest for the companion of thy youth: transgress not against her therefore. Let her love satisfy thee, and her affections equal thy embraces: let thine appetite be subject to him, and share the duty, and the honour of it, between you both: and keep chaste till the coming of the Lord jesus. Know that this is an equal duty of both, God having bestowed the power of each over other, upon both: Think not thy husband tied to this rule, O woman; nor thou thy wife tied, O husband, and the other free: the tye is equal.  
It's not jealousy of each other, 
Against base and unjust jealousy it is most odious.  which can preserve this honour; no, it's the Canker of marriage. Bathsheba describing the condition of a good woman, tells us, The husband of such a woman, 
Pro. 31. 11.  rests in her, his heart settles upon her. Nothing, that a wise man, observing virtuous qualities in his wife, judgeth her the same towards himself, which he is to her. A good man (such an one as Joseph was to Mary, a just man, one that had no worse thoughts of jealousy towards her, than she had to him, loath to entertain the least suspicious thought against her) will always esteem her by himself. Why should I think, that her Conscience, Chastity, is not as tender to her, as mine to myself? what can it come from, save a base heart, inclined to treachery against my wife, that I should imagine, my wife should be false to me? Surely were it not a sin, to do such a thing, or wish it done, it were but just that an unjustly jealous husband should meet with that he fears, that so he might be jealous for somewhat. Many civilly chaste women, having been drawn to commit this folly, by no greater motive, than the vexation of jealousy: as not fearing God, and therefore thinking they were as good commit it, as be always falsely charged with it. And mark it, It's commonly the sin of couples unequal in years, who having married younger husbands, wives, than themselves, lie open to this temptation, Alas; I am too old to give him, or her content, they seek such as are like themselves; when as yet the parties are as clear from such aspersions, as the child new borne: what? hast thou offended once, and is there no remedy but thou must solder it by a worse? I speak not, as if I would make men Panders and Bawds to their wives, through their folly and careless confidence, exposing them to any temptations, and winking between the fingers, for what is this, save to give aim to a chaste woman, to be lewd? No, But to shame that impotency and baseness of either sex, whereby each is prone, contrary to the good carriage, and approved conversation of the other, yet to surmise in them, falsehood and ill meaning. What can be such an incendiary, to set all on fire between couples, as this cursed mischief of jealousy? which is ofttimes (upon mere mistake of some word, guise, or action, nothing tending that way) rooted in the spirit of man, or woman, that neither all the assurances of truth between themselves, nor yet by mutual friends, can compound the matter so, but still there must be a pad in the straw, and their smoke must argue some fire: And yet when all is done, it proves a mere Idol of fancy, nothing in all the world.  
The Lord indeed appointed a trial for the jealous man, against his wife: but we must not conceive this was to breed or nourish causeless conceits: it was no doubt first brought to the judges in criminal causes, to determine what the matter was, and (as our Inquests do) to cut off all mere surmises: else what a bondage had it been for a wife to be so hurried and defamed? And although it be true, that for the hardness of their hearts, the Lord permitted more liberty to men at that time, (being sturdy and rebellious) should that be any encouragement now to Christians to nourish such trash in themselves to make their spirits, their prayers, their whole life sad and miserable to themselves, and to be so embittered each against other, that even when they would fain shake off their own conceits they should not be able? I say no more of this elf of causeless jealousies: but this for the party sinning, no man shall need to wish his greater torment, than himself hath created to himself; let him thank himself, that his own sin hath eaten up the marrow of his bones. The greatest pity is to the party innocent and sinned against, who is to be advised, while there is any hope of recovery, to strive by all caution and exact circumspection of carriage, to tender the weakness of the other, hoping that love rather than anger hath bred it: 
Remedy of the innocent party.  but by no means disdain them, and to walk loosely under pretext of innocency. But if the disease be so rooted, that it will not be healed; let them enjoy their uprightness (for the way of God, is strength to the upright, as Solomon saith, Prov. 10. 29.) and not be dismayed: but look up to God, who can clear their righteousness as the noon day, and plead their cause against their oppressor: joining prayer to God to quit them accordingly. This I have said of injust jealousy: as for that which is just, I say as much against the guilty party, wishing the law were as strong now, as it hath formerly been against all violaters of this sacred knot. And for this branch so much.  
I had here purposed to insert some other watchwordes and directions: but I consider that in the latter part of this Treatise more full occasion will be given of this Argument. So much therefore shall serve for this Chapter.   

CHAP. IX.  
Containing the description of the 4. last joint duty of the Married, viz. Consent.  
THe fourth and last duty equally concerning both parties married is, 
The fourth general and joint duty of the married consent.  Consent, and harmony of course each to another. Both the former of chastity, and this, do grow as springs from the stock of love: the former in the bodies, this latter in the lives of both. For this I would have the Reader conceive, that the former of love, and this of consent, do not differ, save as the root and the branch, the cause and the effect. Love being the noble groundwork, this the sweet building upon the former foundation: both making up marriage, to grow to an happy frame and building, which who so behold, can no other judge, but those parties are well met, and dwell commodiously: But will better appear in particulars how the one differs from other.  
This then is the point, that both married persons ought studiously to maintain this grace of mutual consent, as a main piece of that, which must maintain the honour of their marriage. Reas. 1 Such a thing is this of consent. As may appear, both by the judgements of all those, 
Branch 1.  who either (by woeful experience) could never attain it, 
Experience of such as want it.  though their eager desire after it may prove it to be the crown of marriage, or the more happy experience of such as have atteined it, according to their desire, and found it to be no less, than I have spoken. For the former of these, who need to question it, but that must needs be most honourable, for lack whereof, the estate and contentation, yea whole welfare of thousands have perished? Who covets that with earnestness, which hath not some rare felicity in it? And when a man hath with all his skill, sought that, which yet (when all is done) he cannot achieve, yea is further off from, what remedy, but such a one must needs lie down in sorrow? 
Prov. 13. 12.  If the deferring of the soul's desire, is the fainting of it, what is the utter defeating of it? when as, not for the present only, but for ado (for aught appears) a man foresees his own misery, and must of necessity survive the funeral of his own happiness.  
For the latter, 
Branch 2.  who doubts of the honour and price of that commodity, 
The experience of such as enjoy it show it to be worth the preserving jointly.  unto which, they who have enjoyed it, do esteem all as mere dross and dung? Even all their wealth, beauty, and birth, which yet do much confer to a comfortable life. What shall it profit a man to win all these, and to lose his own content, in a sweet amiableness of conversation? Or what shall a man give for a recompense of it, if it should be in hazard? Thus will every one speak of this blessing, except he be a fool, to whom the Sunshine is wearisome, for the continual shining of it (and yet this fair wether may do hurt, so cannot consent) or such as to whom nothing will seem precious, save by the want of it? As for all wise men, they will affirm it; That than which in both the confessions both of desirers, and enjoyers, makes so much for the honour of marriage, 
Th' price of this jewel in her nature, deserves the careful improoving of it.  justly deserve the joint consent of both parties to ensue and maintain.  
Reas. 2 Secondly, the very nature of this jewel, the nobility, the praise and price of it, in general, is a sign of the worth, and how it deserveth the joint care of couples to maintain it. It may challenge equality with the things of greatest price, and excellency! Oh thou sweet amiableness and concord, what may not be said of thee? Thou art the offspring of God, the fruit of Redemption, the breath of the spirit: Thou art the compound of contraries, the harmony of discords, the order of Creation, the soul of the world: without which, the vast body thereof would soon dissolve itself by her own burden; 
The praise of Consent.  as wearisome to itself, and fall in sunder by peacemeale from each other. By thee, oh sweet peace, and concord, the heavens are combined to the earth, by their sweet influence; by thee, the earth confines the unlimited waters, within bounds, both earth and waters nourish those inferior vegetables; by thee those same creatures, nourish the sensible; by thee, those sensible again return their food to the most noble members of the world, the reasonable; that so the spiritual part, which is above the rest, I mean the inner man, and new creature might by them, for them, and in them all, honour his Creator. Oh thou divine consent, the sweet temperature of bodily complexions, the blessed union of soul and body, the law of government to Commonwealths and societies, the band of perfection in the Church, the reconcilement of God with man, the recollection and confederating of all things in one, both in heaven and earth, the life of the family, the daughter of love, sister of peace, and mother of blessing. Canst thou then, who art the life of all things, choose but be the honour of marriage? Shall all other creatures know no other marriage band, and shall the truly married be without it? Is it so sweet and good a thing to see brethren to dwell together in affection, although they cannot always in place and habitation, and must it not needs be more sweet to them, who are both in affection, and habitation inseparable? If in distance of bodies by necessity, yet if it be so sweet, what is it in the necessity of each others presence? All this considered, what a joint care ought there to be in couples to nourish it? How stupid do they declare themselves to be, who do not feel it? The Beasts, the Birds, the Plants are sensible of it, and strive to put forth themselves to all mutual offices of service each to other, for the improving of it, as loath to forge such a jewel, and shall married Christians, be senseless and careless of it?  
Reas. 3 Thirdly, that which is honourable both in the coherence and consequence of it, 
Consent h●th a Divine instinct in it.  deserves mutual care in couples to preserve it between themselves. But such is this consent. For mark, when love hath once combined and incorporated two to one, what an instinct doth it breed, and what influence doth it instill into each party, for the useful services belonging to their place? Each Bee flies abroad to work and carry home to her hive, being once appropriated to it. Even so here. Readiness and willingness in each party, to his and her office, the man to toil without in weary labour and travail, and the woman within doors, both without complaint; these ●low from the genial consent of each with other. Hence nothing is thought too much, benevolence, providence, forbearance,▪ patience, fidelity, secrecy; all virtuous offices: The husband complains not, that the burden lies all upon his shoulders, the wife (as weak as she is) mutters not, that her sick husband lies upon her hand, and spends all from her, like to leave her in want. Both cheerfully go on, acted by Providence to look upon a promise, and all because a secret accord of spirit puts them forward to the work. The reason comes to this issue: That which is as useful and gainful, as its pleasant, and contentful is as the dew of Hermon, 
Psal. 133. 23.  and the oil upon the head of Aaron, in both so much graces, marriage deserves that the married should enshrine it in their bosoms, and nourish it with joint endeavour.  
Reas. 4 Lastly this grace of consent, is that which brings the Lord himself, 
Consent brings God into the married.  to rule and reign in the family over the married themselves and all that pertain to them, than well doth it deserve the care of all married persons to join themselves in the promoting thereof. It's an honour to an house to be frequented by the great and honourable: How much more when the Lord of heaven and earth, shall condescend to dwell in our houses, to come in, to sit, and sup with us? whom should he sooner do so unto, then to the peaceable and consenting? we know that old maxim of Machiavelli, if thou wilt reign, divide: And our Saviour affirms it, If Satan cast out Satan, 
12. Math. 26.  how shall his Kingdom endure? No surely. Satan must cast out unity and amity, if he mean to reign, that he may bring in hellish discord and confusion. Even so if God will reign, he must cast out Satan, that he may bring in union and consent between couples. There is no agreement, 
2. Cor 6. 15.  betwixt Christ and Belial, light and darkness: Then (and never till then) shall religion, prayer, Sabbathduties, holy exercises, love to the Saints be entertained, when consent hath taken up the room of each others heart. So much may serve for Reasons.  

A question Answered, Wherein Consent stands.  But wherein (may some say) stands this Consent? Answ. I answer, By these few heads it may be conceived, (for the particulars of consent they are infinite, as the occasions of life are:) First in consent of spirit, of mind (I mean) and affection. Secondly consent of speech, 
In 3. ●h●●gs.  or the tongue. Thirdly consent of practice and endeavours. For the first of these; The principle of marriage consent must be rooted in the heart; 
1 In consent of heart as chief Ezek. 1. 19  That each think and affect the same things; As in Ezekiel its said of the beasts and the wheels, that when the one went forward, the other did so, and when the beasts were lifted up, the wheels were lifted up, for the spirits of the beast's, were in the wheels. So ought it to be between couples, one judgement, one mind, one heart, one soul in two bodies; the spirit of the wife in the husband, and his in the Lord. That which the flatterer saith in the Conedy, (the hatred of the name being removed) that should the wife say to the husband: Sayst thou a thing? So say I. Deniest thou? I deny it too. And in a word; I am prepared for the nonce to agree with thee in all things, good & honest. What is more beautiful to behold in marriage, then that whereof it is a Resemblance, I mean, the harmony between the Lord jesus the head, and the members, to wit his Church? Read the Canticles: See how the Church ecchoeth her husband's voice, in all he speaks, see how she pleases herself in his comely proportion, attire, gestures! And he again in hers; how she depends wholly upon his beck and countenance, joys in his presence, mourns in his absence, repozes herself in his bosom, being asleep, watcheth his awaking, follows after him, hangs upon him in his departing, longs for his return, and having lost him, runs after him as one distracted, and bewrays her life to be bound up in his, as Jacob's in Benjamins. This inward complacence, well-pleasing, and welapayednesse of couples in each other, is the very quintessence of marriage peace, and contentment. As in the mystical body of Christ, we see what an instinct is in them, to maintain their own being in the welfare of each other. All envy, wrath, suspicion, jealousy, unkindness, pride, censure, and whatsoever else savouring of self-love and separation, being odious to them. Each doing his own service, content with his own portion, mourning with any that is ill at ease, and glad of their welfare.  
Secondly, this consent must be in the speech and language of them both: 
2 Consent in speech, necessary for the married.  It's true generally, but in this point specially, That speech is the discoverer of the mind: Look what the abundance of the heart is, that will vent itself at the mouth. So the husband and wife should answer to each other, as jehoshaphat to jehoram, 
2. Kings 3. 7.  I am as thou art, my people are as thine, 
Pro. 27. 19  my horses as thine. Yea, the speech of each to other, should be (without flattery) as the glass, to behold each other in. As face answers to face in the water, so doth a man accommodate himself to his friend (saith Solomon) how much more the husband and wife to each other? They should even resemble each the others frame and temper (in the Lord) with all ingenuity. As the beams do represent the Sun, in her heat and light: so should the sweet carriage of the wife, argue the body which gives her influence, even her husband's virtues.  
And lastly, there ought not only to be this harmony in presence only, 
3 Consent in common life and occasions of it.  but in absence also, even in the way of their Conversation: abroad in company, in duties of Sabbath, of Christian communion, whether together or asunder, such should be the reflection of a wife's carriage, that all that see her, may see the wisdom, thoughts, affections of the husband in her: not a carriage of her own, as of one severed from his way slighting his, as if she were wiser; but humbly submitting judgement, will and spirit to his in the Lord: and where there is any difference, so it be grounded, keeping it secret, and acquainting God with it, as she did when she felt strife in her womb, that he might reconcile it, and settle it aright in time: For in such a Case, discreet concealment will far sooner reduce them together, then open expression of their differences. The actions of the one should be the shadow of the others, yea a model thereof. As it was once between David and his new subjects, whatsoever liked David, 
2. Sam. 3. 36.  that was presently pleasing to all his people; they agreed at an hair's breadth. This threefold cord of heart, mouth and work, is not easily broken.  
uses. I shall make these three appear better, in uses of the point, to the which I hasten. Use. 1 First then, what bitter reproof is this, to the most even of such as seem to stand to God's bar and trial? 
Reproof.  I pass by the ruder sort of barbarous people, rustical and profane, 
Vulgar guise of married ones, rude and rustical.  (who never yet came into the garden, where this grace grew) such as pass their days, either in brutish and Nabalish churlishness, brawling, fight and quarrelling together; or else consent only in evil, serving each the others turn, according to those vices they are inclined unto, as the world, to take together portions for their children by hook or crook, or pleasures and libertyes, or pride of life, and fashions, or envious pursuit of their Enemy's, slander, or the like sins of the tongue. I say, to leave such, who would look for such differences of spirit, and temper, among such as pretend great zeal in profession? A man would think, when he looks narrowly into them, that they are set as marks of opposition, each to other, than resemblers of their affections, joys, and desires: verily I have often seen it (to the shame of such I speak it) that among some ignorant couples, 
The Dissensions of religious Couples, the shame of profession.  whom only natural likeness of manners, or civil education hath handsomed, there is found more love and accord, then among some such, as daily keep on foot the worship of God in their families. Shall I praise them in this? no surely. I know, the sorrow which hereby you procure to yourselves, is punishment sufficient for your folly; But you must not escape so: but shame you for such contrariety of spirit: Many men and women, being so cross each to other, that they think this consent rather a weak and silly fruit of a pusillanimous spirit, yea a shame rather than an honour to their Marriages! And that then they have quit themselves best, when they can whet their teen upon one another, jarring and jangling, and pleasing their froward, and ill a paid spirits, in displeasures and differences. And, can you, or dare you nevertheless, board, converse and bed together, and go to the house of God, and there hear, and partake the Sacrament of communion, as if there were nothing amiss? Can two walk together except agreed? 
Amos. 3. 3.  Or do you cast arrows and darts, 
Pro. 26. 19  and say, you are in sport! what villainous hypocrisy is this, thus to habit yourselves in sin, that the custom of it, should make you senseless of it, and cause a falling sickness of discord, that you know not the way of getting in again? All day war and deadly feud, and yet lie down at night, and wipe off each crumb, from the lips? Nay, what do such save make the Ordinances of God, covers of their shame & wickedness! I doubt whether such or these, or they whose debates break out into separation, so that neither town nor country can hold them, are the worse of the two! I say in point of presumption, though their sin be not so exemplary. What a pageant is this for the Devil to laugh at? how out of measure sinful is your sin? Tigers and Bears have their agreement, and shall such distempers reign in the marriages of the religious? Shall fraud and oppression be found in the seat of justice? or a froward, waspish spirit, in the proper element of peace and consent. Where shall peace be looked for, if you disagree in marriage? If you war and contend, who should agree? Or, who should go about the families of religious ones, to seek out matches, when as such as these, hatch up a brood, by their lives and examples, more fit for the Devil to govern in, than the spirit of God which is peaceable? Shall such as should one day, judge the world, (if they be as they seem) yet be fain to refer the desperate quarrels of wife and husband, to the arbitrement of friends? By which occasion, matters growing to be ripped up between you, perhaps the coals of juniper are blown to a greater heat, than before, by these bellows, and the hope of accord set further off, than it was. Surely, as the corruption of the finest bodies, is most loathsome, so are the contentions of such as should be most quiet, commonly most tedious: for sin loves to be out of measure sinful. So much of this first.  
Use 2 Secondly, this should be abasement, and deep humbling, to all such couples (out of whose breasts this sin hath not chased away all remorse and tenderness. 
Humiliation to all faulty couples. ) Oh man! Remember, the Lord hath created thee in his Image, made thee as God to thy wife, a man of more solid mould and frame, able to bear impressions and occasions of discontent. 
Prov. 20. 3.  It's the honour of a man to pass by an offence: The Lord abhors thou shouldst weaken thyself by a wilful opposition of a weaker sex; what a poor victory is that, when thou hast matched a silly woman! No, thine honour stands rather in passing by her folly and weakness: not in a currish blockishness, not in a surly stoutness, and pride of stomach, not in a controlling, imperious carriage, and thwarting tongue; This is to betray thy own strength, and to out-shoot the devil in his own bow. This is to smite all due honour out of thy wife's heart; and, (as oil to the flame) to inflame and provoke her spirit, to be sevenfold worse. Rather do in such a case, as workmen in coalpits use to do, when the candle burns blue, they suspect the damp to be a coming, which would stifle them, and therefore they strive to get out, who can get first, and when the damp is over, then to work again. So, give place to this damp and distemper of discord and contention, and when it's over, then return to thy wont course. And, in conclusion, look to find small fruit of violent striving: For, as Latimer said, he that gets the victory here, gains sorrow, and he that loses, loses peace. The gains which thou gettest thou mayst put in thine eye, and see never the worse: Thou shalt repent thee at leisure, that thou didst not redeem thy peace upon harder terms, than the curbing of a base appetite. Thou shalt lose thy sweet words, in thy bitterness, thy liberty with God, to lift up pure hands without wrath or doubting, shall degenerate into fear, barrenness and bondage, thy prayers shall be choked in thy throat, and perish in the uttering, which thou wert once wont to pour out purely, confidently, cheerfully: Therefore obey this charge of God, and prosper. If the Lord bless not thine endeavour, yet, it's better for thee, to deny thyself, and to wait the issue with patience, then bootless to strive against the stream. The like I say to thee oh woman, Is this a life pleasing to thee, always to live like a Salamander in the fire? Is this an Element so welcome to thee?  
Consider (poor wretch) how thou degeneratest from thy creation: 
The duty urged.  Thou wert moulded by the hand of a wise workman, to be a tender and yielding nature, the weaker vessel; and dost thou delight in a spirit of contradiction? wilt thou resist thy Maker and thy head, both at once? Shouldest thou think it an honour, to thee, to carry in thy bosom a proud wrathful and shrewish heart, and in thy head a stinging tongue? Oh, it were more agreeing to thee, to be melting, mild, and overcome evil with good! If this aught to be done to an enemy abroad, that if he need, thou shouldest clothe him, feed him: If to him who reviles thee, 
Luk. 6. 27. 28. 29.  thou shouldst return good language; if to him who would take thy cloak, thou shouldst cast thy coat also (to show how meek thou art) that so thou mightst be like to thy father, who doth good to the evil: what then shalt thou do to thy husband, that thou mightst resemble the Lord jesus his tenderness to his Church, whereof thy marriage is a shadow? As thou wouldst that Christ should handle thee, so do thou oh man, handle thy wife, and thou oh wife, thine husband! Go together (as once a couple did, being convinced by their Minister's reproof,) and break heart each in others bosom, confess how far you are off, from your first frame, what dishonour to the gospel you have been, and woeful joint enemies to that joint and mutual peace which both of you should have hatched and nourished between you: Beseech the Lord to shed his love and spirit into your bosoms, his peaceable, amiable, quiet spirit, which can turn your swords into mattocks, and spears into plowshares: who can make the ox and the lion, the bear and the lamb to feed together, that is, take out your felnesse, and put into you an heart of Amity and consent. Then shall you be another while for the honour of that Ordinance with equal endeavours, which all this while you have so reproached.  
Use 3 And thirdly, let it be admonition unto both parties; and first, 
Admonition.  let me say this, Enter not into marriage, in a confidence of your own strength when couples first meet together, youth, 
1. Be not too co●fi●ent of yourselves in a tempt of marriage.  strength, and carnal Confidence upon their own means, with fleshly content each in other, makes them dream● of a dry summer, and think I shall not be moved; It wil●e always honey moon with me: as if the bitterness of an unquiet heart were passed away. But poor souls! you know no more your own spirits, than Hazaël did, when hearing the Prophet telling what a cruel wretch he should prove, 
2 King 8. 13.  he asked, Am I a dog? to do such things. You dawb with untempered mortar, which will fall off in frosty wether; But, when experience hath schooled you, and showed you the discontents of marriage, and with what bitter ingredients, sin hath poisoned your hoped successes; when husband proves an unthrift, wife an ill housewife, business in the world cross and lefthanded, when also cares, fears, losses, charge of children, sorrows of the womb, and nursery, bad children, debts and straits come upon you at once, (none whereof you have grace to prevent) oh then! you see that your first merry meeting will not bear off all assaults. And yet, what should I speak of such things? when a base heart in the midst of all contrary mercies, pampered with the creature, but wickedly proud and unthankful, can and oftener doth cause this woe to couples, more than all adversity! Oh, this canker grows out of blessing, oftener than affliction! wherefore, enter this estate, with self-denial! humble yourselves, be as Ephraim, who was as an heifer unused to the yoke, 
●er. 31. 18. 19  but after, he repented, and smote upon his thigh: Do you so beforehand, and beg armour of God for the hardest: boast not of the best, ere you put off your harness: the best will always save itself.  
Secondly, 
Caveat 2.  know this, That although the Lord should free you from such disasters, 
P●●y for this ●weet gift of 〈◊〉 & Amiableness.  yet marriage of itself (without special grace) will try of what mettle you are made. Even mere continuance of time, Custom and usual society, will (by corruption) procure a fulsomeness, & satiety, yea a weariness of each other. Acknowledge therefore that this frame of your marriage will not stand alone, it needs daily props, to keep off an impatient spirit! For why? The mere spirit that is in you, lusts to envy; inclines to crossenes, elvishnesse and self willednesse of spirit, when as yet there is no vexation without to cause it. What need is there then to ply the Lord with prayer, for the sweet uniting of your spirits, and calming of your hearts? That the peace of God passing understanding may fence or (as the word is) beleaguer and hem in your souls (or as a garrison keeps a town safe, 
Phil. 4. ) may preserve them with the knowledge of God, and possess them in patience; 
Lu●. 22. 19  Alas! let all your whetting and provoking each other, be reflected back upon your own selves, fret with indignation, against the Root within, purge out that leaven; and then your hard hearts shall melt into tears, for each other; spend your time of jarring, in prayer and earnest request to God, for mercy and pardon: That he would take off your rough edge, and make you polished and squared stones, to couch in the wall of this building: which before could lie no way. Oh! the Lord (for aught you know) may make you blessed means of each others conversion, that you may bless him, that ever you met, who so oft have cursed your own eyes, for seeing each other. Let the fruit be as God will: sure I am the cross of an uncomfortable yoke should persuade you rather to spend all your life in prayer then in Rebellion. For its better (if it must be so) that God delay your desires, whiles you are praying, then whiles you are sinning, 
Caveat 3.  and stopping the course of prayer.  
Thirdly, 
Put on the Lord jesus his meekness.  put on the Lord jesus, and he shall so furnish you, that you shall not need to take any more thought, how to fulfil your base lusts any more. Put him on, in his long suffering, meekness, bowels of compassion, as the Apostle speaks: which will not only prevent those evils of an unquiet, and unsavoury spirit, through a well a paid heart: but, also will teach you to bear and lie under your Cross, 
R●m. 12. end.  and to be as God will have you to be. 
Coloss 3.  Fight not against God, but put on the Armour of peace, as a Breastplate, to bear off all the darts of distempers. If the Lord will not be entreated one way, ply him another: Remember an heart armed with holy Resolution in this kind is shot free, and able to conquer a city. The patient in spirit, is better than the hasty, and the end of a thing is better than the beginning. Patience carries with it, half a release, it is (as it were) boot in beam. If then, thy wife and thine husband cannot be won to consent, yet, if thou canst possess thine own spirit, thou shalt conquer hers. The best victories are by yielding in this kind. Strange is the nature of a quiet spirit: it must prevail at last, because it will wait, till it have no nay. But especially, it hath this power in it, to quench any fiery dart, far better than any resistance, and wrath. If Cannon shot light upon the Woolpack, it loseth his force: but if upon a stone wall, it batters it to pieces; and a soft answer puts away wrath. Bring jesus into this ship he will allay all the waves: bring this Ark into the camp of debate, 
Mark. 4 39  and it will make all whist and quiet: 
1. Sam. 4. 5.  when the Whirlwind ariseth suddenly from the heart of an unquiet man or woman, and like to that tempest job 1. 
job. 1. 19  assaults every corner of the house to ruin it; yet, if this spirit of a soft voice encounter it, all willbe soft and calm on the sudden. The cause why the house of Jobs children fell down, was, because it was such a wound as beset on every side: So it will far with thee: If when one wind is arisen in the house, then by & by another be up in the other corner to resist it, woe to that house. Then is the season of thy Calm O husband, when thy wife's heart is up in heat: and then of thy quiet heart (o wife) when thy husband fumes & storms. But if both be up at once, be thou (o man) the wiser, and say, It's now out of season for me to meddle. Else thou wilt throw down thine house, and destroy thine own peace. The second blow makes the fray: therefore while the cloud is as a man's hand, little in the entry, give over betimes, ere it cover the whole sky: 
1. King. 18. 44.  & cause such a tempest, as clouds when they follow rain, which is a continual dropping: and make sick wether for ado.  
Fourthly, 
Caveat 4.  if the Lord exercise thee with this following cross, 
Renounce not God to use Carnal shifts.  beware lest thou forsake his way, and through tedious discontent, consult with flesh and blood, to use carnal shifts. It is not thy violence, to go to work by strong hand, to bear down thy wife's stream, by a stronger one of thine own; by either threats, or much less blows, (a base remedy, and which I wonder should either come into any wise man's thoughts and pen to advise, or heart and hand to practise) or any other Policy of shame and dissuasive, which God hath blessed to effect it. If he had, it had surely more prevailed, than it hath. No, it's the only victory of heaven and grace; whatsoever fleshly Wisdom, and rashness or device of man, hath or may practise in this kind, I speak not: extremities may plead excuse from the greatness, but not the realnes of the sin. Nor yet do I deny but that a carnal way (for the present) may help against the present occasion. As I heard lately that a man put to his wits ended, agreed with his friends in London, that dwelled near, it seems, that when they heard the Drum sound from his house, they should all make haste to take his wife in her scolding vein, and so shame her. So they might cut off a finger, but who shall mortify the spirit? surely the Drum comes short of that cure, and a woman will scorn to yield up her weapons at the found of such a charm. No, alas! As the Pope's blessing makes no Armour of proof: so neither is any Medicine of man's devising, shrew, or scold proof: for a sudden they may please by their violence, but at time of year, the malady will have his course. To this, I might add a contrary extreme of carnal wit: That husbands thus matched will seek to flatter and demerit their base wives, serving their own wills, be they never so wasteful, and proud: suffering them to be all in all, to carry all the stream, and to throw house out at windows, and all to win them to some indifferency, slavishly subjecting themselves to their usurping, and domineering spirit: They (forsooth) must buy, sell, let, hire, take all and pay all, staving off their husbands from intermeddling, save at their own courtesy, what they shall wear, spend, or carry in their purse: Others, will redeem their peace, by casting all the tackle into sea; let their wives jolly and ruffle it out in what manner, measure, or Companies they themselves please to spend at their pleasure, keeping their husbands at a beck: yea, suffer them to keep and harbour Varlets under their noses to defile their beds and family with filth and bastardy: and all that they may be rid of unquitenesse. And when upon these terms, they have bought repentance too dear, than they must either die in sorrow, or live with baseness and dishonour. In general I like your patience (for some yielding doth well) if limited: But, your cowardly, base heart, distrusting Gods ways and method, except you relieve yourselves by sinning, that I abhor, and affirm the remedy to be far worse than the disease.  
Fifthly, 
Caveat 5.  I warn all couples, that they run not beyond the bounds set them by providence, 
Keep each party the bounds of his place.  to intermeddle with the affairs concerning each other. It's the folly and boldness of many women, to be so curiously prying and pragmatical, about their husband's matters, (which concern them not to busy themselves about, but to rest upon their fidelity, except they see just exception) to be so inquisitive into their actions, companies, and occasions, so jealous of them (unjustly) that, although I allow not of the effect, yet I say, it's a just provocation to the spirit of a wise and innocent man, to differ from his wife. And again, many foppish husbands do so intermeddle in the Element, and about the peculiar employments of the women, taking upon them the menaging of their Cookeries, their dairies and housewifery, as if they must have an oar in each boat. What wise woman would not break into a mixed passion of fulsome indignation and contempt? What husband would not be carried to extreme discontent? God hath appointed their station to them both, the one, without, the other within: lest by idleness and sloth, they wanting their several works, they should wax unsavoury, and lie open to foreign vice: But this is to turn the ordinance topsy turvie, and in stead of not doing, to overdo, and cause discord at home. Therefore keep your station: provoke not each other, which gives occasion (ofttimes) of that mutual curiosity. Mutual consent will not consist with mutual satagency in this kind. To this, I might add another caveat, against the darkness and closeness of carriage of couples, each to other, which doth breed this evil spoken of. For, though each party is to be trusted in his or her own sphere, to act and deal: yet neither must forget other, to bear an equal share in the common welfare; and therefore, to conceal themselves and walk aloof as in the clouds, one from the knowledge, of the other; as never to impart their mutual affairs, never to communicate together, or consult each with other, what is it, but a despising of that equipage, and equality which marriage claims? what is it, save provoking of each other, to turn a mutual spirit, into a private one? To turn equanimity of love (that thinks no evil, but construes all in the better sense) into jealous suspicion? what imports it, save that their ways are unthrifty and unhappy, so that they are loath to discover them, till all be too late? And then at last, endless broils grow upon such affected secrecy, and a necessity of violent sparing, lest all should perish: both extremities, to be shunned by all wise couples.  
Sixtly, 
Caveat 6.  as the Proverb saith, take not counsel in the combat: for then, 
Be prepared for the hardest, before.  there is no season for counsel, than the spirit is in the power of passion, and temptation present, as a bowl running down the hill, is in the power of the descent. Take counsel therefore before, and use thy skill in preventing that which is hardly endured. Observe thy husband's frame oh wife, and thy wives oh husband: Study each others natures, and count it thy wisdom and vantage, by that thou shalt easily guess, both what may provoke & also prevent it; and, what may both content and so procure it: But they who let all go at six and seven, suffer the upper millstone to run upon the nether, they may be sure the devil will see there shall want no corn, and then there will be grinding. Studious shunning of occasions, with wisdom and pious caution, hath in time, wrought many an unquiet heart to some calmness; except there be so cursed and churlish a nature, as delights in distemper, even to choose, and would rather die fight with it own shadow then be at peace. I say, 
1 Sam. 25.  when a Nabal sees an Abigail, watch her opportunity, loath to provoke him in his madness, willing to hold off whatsoever might disquiet, and further, what might please and satisfy: how can he, but at last break his heart in her bosom, and say, come my dear wife: thou art more righteous than I: for I have sought thy grief, but thou hast overcome me with thy wisdom and meekness; thou hast heaped hot coals upon the head of a froward husband, and made me ashamed to behold the ugly hieu of my passion, in the glass of thy meekness and discretion. And this for Admonition.  
Use 4 The last use briefly shall be Exhortation. Strive, all ye husbands and wives, 
Exhortation to the married to use cordial Consent.  who seek to live in godliness and honour, to establish mutual amity in your spirits, and consent in your conversation. Alas! husband's and wives should be as two sweet friends, bred under one constellation, tempered by an influence from heaven, whereof neither can give any great reason, save that mercy and providence first made them so, and then made their match; Saying, see, God hath determined us, out of this vast world, each for other; perhaps many may deserve as well, but yet to me, and for my turn, thou excellest them all, and God hath made me to think so (not for formality sake to say) but because it is so. When I consider, that, we are not met only, but met as we should do, not as many mismatched ones are, meeter for some other man and woman, than each for other; so that we can say as he in his Motto, what we are, we would be, and would be no other than we are; the only meet ones, for one another; oh then! how it raises up my spirit to admire and magnify God's dispensation! Oh, if it were thus, how sweet were it to see married ones to live together! As the Ark carried by the power of God, above the highest mountain in the world, fifteen Cubits, so should mercy carry them above all contentions and garboils, that they should know no such. As they say the tops of some high hills are above the middle region, and so above all those vapours of frost and snow, and winds which inferior grounds are infested withal: so, so should these be above far worse: and behold others beneath, molested with such things, even with wondering at their happy escape. And as all the hills and dales, which make the parts of that earth where they are, unequal: but cannot hinder the roundness of it, because the circular figure of the whole, swallows up all particular uneevennesses, into itself: so should those passages of unequality between couples, here and there passionate heats and dissentings each from other, be drowned in this consent, so that they should vanish as clouds without rain and storm, though not without some darkness and lowering.  
And, if aught did befall otherwise then meetly, how should each outstrip the other afterward, in humiliation and Repentance! Oh base wretch (shouldst thou say) should I be weary of welfare! 
What is to be done by both after a difference, even to repent and be humbled.  Should I return to nourish secret poison in mine heart, to hazard my precious peace? and should I venture all upon a cast, to try whether mine be mine own, or not? Shall one dead fly defile a whole box of precious ointment? No far be it from me to forsake my fatness and sweetness, 
judg. 9 9 13.  by which I have cherished the heart of God and man, 
1. King, 6. 7.  of wife, of husband, (like that bramble exalting itself above the trees) to bear up myself above, against each other, by confusion and discord? No: far be it from us, 
Esay. 42. 3. 4.  to suffer the noise of Hammers, Saws, or axes to be heard in our Temples hereafter! we were squared in God's mount by his workmanship, not needing now any such edgetooles! Rather let us be like him, who was typified hereby, whose voice was not lifted up, nor heard in the strets, who never trod upon a bug or worm to kill it, broke not the bruised reed, nor quenched the smoking flax. As he the head of his Church, is to his Church, so will I be to my spouse and beloved, amiable and consenting. Enough to marriage is the necessary unavoidable grief of it, such as must be in it by God's allowance, for trial: I will not seek to add needless to necessary, but pull away, as much as I can: and when the needless is taken off, 
M●th. 18. 7.  then shall the necessary be the better born. Offences must come; occasions will arise: Pharao's own privy chamber cannot be free from frogs, aswell as other common men's: 
Exod. 8. 3.  & the sweetest May-month may have frosty mornings, and cold evenings, yea there willbe sad days and sorrowful affronts at one time or other; able to affront the most peaceable: But the peace of God and marriage, which pass understanding, 
Philip. 4. 7.  the peace of Conscience and family, running in a stream together, will keep the hearts of the good, so firm, and stable, that they will lose their wills and humours ten times rather than this jewel: And if, when all is done, there must some dreg of old Adam cleave still, it shall not be for hurt, all shall turn for best to the peaceable, to search all which is in their hearts, to keep them humble, to exercise selfedeniall, and to teach them, that the best marriages upon earth must have their eyesores, lest we should say its good being here, for the best and purest peace willbe in heaven, where there shallbe no such relations as these, but all fulfilled in our eternal conjunction with our head the Lord jesus. Also it must teach them, even when the weather is most contrary, yet to imitate the skill of the Marryner who will not strive against the winds, but rather coast, and fetch a compass, to gain ground and further his travail.  
And so I finish this last of these mutual duties of the married, 
Conclusion of this main du●y.  which is consent. Ensue peace with all, especially with yourselves: Ground it in that peace with God, to pardon and accept you: and this will be as the rush growing in the mire, a peace always maynteind by a better, never failing. Walk according to this rule, and the peace of God shallbe with you. Try no carnal conclusions, tempt not God, be not weary of welfare. Though it should turn from you, yet follow, & take it by the lap of the garment; hold it fast; it's the free-simple of good couples: Let it rule & overrule, to forgo any thing rather than it. They who angle with golden hooks, had need look to it, lest if they lose their hook, all their catch equal not their loss. And so doing, consent shall make your marriage honourable; till it bring you to enjoy that peace and blessed consent of Saints in glory, which shallbe a perfect sweet without any bitter, a life without end. And so much also for this Chapter: and for these 4. Duties mutually concerning Marriage, for the preserving of the integrity and comfort thereof.   

CHAP. X.  
Return to the Personal offices of each party. And first the husband. His first duty handled, To be a man of understanding.  
HAving handled the joint duties of both, 
Coherence of the points.  we come to lay down the several duties of either party in marriage: And what great difficulty will there be in this latter, when the former is once settled. As in a faggot, each stick is kept straight and whole, while the band holds: so, let the married parties once be united in the former duties which stand in equality: it willbe no difficulty to maintain these which are peculiar. When as once the retreat of the army of soldiers is made sure: each soldier fights merrily in his rank. So here the main work being dispatched, & mutual security being given & taken each from other, of religion to God, of love to each others person, of Chastity to Bodies, of Consent in the life and whole course, what hardness can there be in the residue, for particular offices of each other? The nave of the wheel being strong, the staves well fastened: how easily will the wheel and orb of it run, and what a sweet current will there be in the same? Touching the particulars than first of the man, 
First Peculiar duty of the husband to be a man of understanding.  then of the woman (for both must manage this common stock of honour by their personal industry.) The man's first duty, is▪ to walk as a man of understanding with and before his wife: that is, so to a bear himself, that he may sweetly strike into his wyves spirit a due reverential love and esteem of his person and Headship, for the virtues of an husband: such as may satisfy her to be a meet guide of her life, by his gravity, staidness and Prudence of carriage. That her heart may tell her in secret, mine husband is indeed a man of understanding. An husband, 
With this is?  who would save the stake of his own honour, should set down that for his Maxim, let not thy wife despise thee: for if once the woman's heart despise her husband, the whole frame of marriage is loosed. This is Peter's counsel to husbands: 
1. Pet. 3. 7.  Likewise ye husbands dwell with them, according to knowledge, or understanding: he seems to contract all the work into this comprehensive rule, in a general sense; as if any branch might fitly be deryved from it: But here I take it for the first special gift of the husband, as an head. He that hath a good head-piece, is a man of good understanding and judgement: (that's the peculiar virtue of the head) for as its the highest of the members, so it is to lead and guide the inferior powers of the soul & the members: In the head is the eye, which outwardly leadeth the latter, as the brain and wisdom is within, the which guides the former. In that semblance is this gift of understanding, the most peculiar to the head, the husband: the wife must follow, as the will and affections, and members do follow the judgement. There need be no more proofs of the point, reason convinceth it sufficiently.  
The greater question is, 
Particulars wherein it consists.  wherein this Duty of understanding consists. For the answer whereof, I think (as he once being to teach the art of Memory first would teach the art of forgetfulness) it were best to show what it is to walk as a man of no understanding, 
First in what it consists not.  and then the positive. First then to walk understandingly, is not to walk aloft in the pride and vain conceit of thyself, 
Dan. 4 30.  saying, to the wife, as he walking in his palace, Am not I great Nabuchadnezzar? So, Dost thou not know (wife) that I am the head, 
Not in an high spirit.  & set above, made to rule? That thou art made of my rib, and for my use, and not I for thine but for mine own ends? yes, I will have you to know it too, that I am a man by myself, and am able to menage a woman better than she. Nay, first learn to understand thyself, ere thou prove a man of understanding to thy wife. A man of understanding, is (as Solomon speaks) of a cool spirit, 
Pro. 17 27.  not a proud, insulting and domineering spirit: he that is such an one, had need of such a woman as to his cost, may teach him to understand himself better. First learn to rule thyself, if thy will be too strong for thy wit, 
Tim. 1. 3. 5.  & thou art hurried by thy lust, against thy knowledge: As the Apostle saith of another, he that cannot rule his own family is much less able to rule the Church of God: so, he who hath not understanding enough to rule himself, is very unfit to rule a woman. That husband, who stands upon it, that he will Lord it and be all in all, bear sway over his wife, as his underling, and who shall control him? may perhaps (when Mistress Experience hath well awed and tawed him, repent of his lording it, and wish, his understanding had lain another way. Add to these, such as willbe ruled by no other man's counsel, 
Not in a rash self willednesse joh. 19 22.  save their own, and yet have little of their own neither (a true mark of a Fool) but rashly rush upon their dealing, and affairs, saying, What I do, I will do, what I have written (as he said) ay; have written: my will shall stand for my Law: prove it for better, or for worse, I am resolved to do as I list and what is a man's liberty, but licence, to live, to speak, & go to work as him lists without control, 
Psal. 12. 4.  as they, Psal. 12. Is it not lawful to do with mine own, as I list? If I give all I have away, who shall gainsay me?  
So again, this is no understanding, for an head to get some shreds of religion by the end, 
To know but not practise.  or to be able perhaps to speak of a Sermon, or to pray, or read a chapter (which yet many such do not) or keep some show of a Sabbath; But, to neglect all the practice of his knowledge in his life, to expose himself to all looseness of carriage, baseness of example, living within doors currishly, spitefully, without doors shiftinglie, cunningly, 
Not to give way to good Counsel, but no following it.  deceitfuly & offensively: Moreover neither is this to be amam of understanding, to seem to give way to good counsel, to hearken and nod to good advice, to give fair words; you say well indeed good sir, & speak to very good purpose, to show no verbal resistance. For of this sort there are many, who yet have no power at all, to amend: but having praised the man, yet turn their backs, and do as they did before, not stirring an inch. They move upon their centre, as the windmill round about, but stir not one hair from it: Oh (saith one,) a very facile man, and easy to be handled▪ True, but hard to be changed: he hath a trick for you, worth ten of a rebellious refusal: for he will say as you say, but do as he lists. 
Nor to give Counsel to either, and not to himself.  To end, neither is it any mark of an understanding man, to be able to give counsel to others, either in God's matters, or the world, or, to make others to say, Oh! this man is of great parts, and deep understanding, see what wisdom and experience he hath gotten! whereas all this while this wise man, whose head is aloft in his counsel to others, falls into the ditch for lack of taking counsel himself. He cannot guide his own way, nor order his own conversation aright. In generals he is very free and full, because he is carried only to the object of truth and judgement, till you come to particulars, and then occasions of his own profits, will, pleasure or ease and ends do so hamper & ensnarle his spirit, that this man with his great understanding becomes a very fool, for lack of a special wise heart to apply knowledge to his own occasions: as Samson was able to judge Israel, but his lusts and passions cast him out of the rule of himself. These then, and the like argue no man of understanding.  
Secondly therefore, 
Second branch what is to be a man of understanding.  he is a true husband, and a man of understanding, who first hath denied his own wisdom, and is abased before God in the privity of his own wants, and inability to manage this great affair of Marriage, 
1 King. 3. 7. 9  or to walk before his wife, as a man of understanding. To say of this, as Solomon did of his Government, who am I Lord, that I should walk before this great people? 
To renounce our own understanding.  To say as holy Agur did, Doubtless I am a fool, and the understanding of a man is not in me: q. d. I have not half the wisdom that a man of my condition had need of. I say its one step to an husband's understanding, to be convinced of the defect and disproportion of his abilities, 
Pro. 30. 2.  to guide the way of marriage. To think of it neither so highly as if it were above his possibility to attain, nor so low, as if he had enough and to spare for it. David being nominated to be Saul's son in law, did not vaunt himself in his abilities (as Absalon after did, 
1. Sam. 18. 18.  but) said thus, Think you it so easy a thing to stand in this relation? And Abigail a woman affirmed by a judicious man, to be of great counsel and understanding, yet thought not herself so: but being sent for, to be David's wife, answered, Alas! I am more fit to be an handmaid to wash the feet of the servants of my Lord! 
1. Sam. 25 41.  I say this holy humble diffidence in ourselves, is a surer mark of an understanding man, than the former. Especially when the sense of a man's nakedness, carries him to God, to pray (as he did) oh Lord, I beseech thee, give to thy servant an understanding heart! This pleased the Lord well, that he asked this only, not other matters for his own ends, long life, riches, honour: so, if thou sue to God for such an head piece of wisdom, as might guide thy marriage course aright more than for welfare and jollity in the world, it's a sign that the chief thing is more prized, than the inferior. So secondly to be a man of understanding, is, to be a subject to God himself, 
To be first Subject to God, and so mcgovern others.  ere thou undertake mastery over others: To say with that centurion, I myself am under Authority, I come to the bar myself, and give account of my head ship; 
Matth. 8. 9  I am fellow servant with my wife, and I have a Master in heaven myself: it behoves me to use my headship sparingly, not to Lord it, lest I be scorned myself, for taking upon me in that office which hath more service than worship tied to it: my Rule over my wife is not imperious, but royal and Princely, not over an underling, but copartner with an equal: so that, if with all my understanding I can bow my wives will, by a mild persuasion, not by austerity, I have quitted myself well.  
Thirdly to be of understanding, is to be more sensible of the burden and work of Marriage, 
The third.  than the honour of it. I say, 
To be more sensible of a burden then of an honour.  to apprehend what cost and care belongs to my wife's soul, how to mould it unto true lowliness & meekness for God; (which is of great price with him) to instill the principles of Christ and self-denial into her, (or to nourish them if already instilled) to cause her to see into that scope and view of Religion, which, is the change and subduing of her will to God. Oh, what a work is this, and who is sufficient for it? were it but to menage her outward man and carriage towards myself, towards her children, in her family, and before others, in point of subjection, love, and wisdom, oh it exceeds my understanding! it exercises me with more thought than all her portion contents me! Oh! I must carry her to God, and commit her to him, to be trained to this great business! Lastly to be a man of understanding, is yet a point of further extent; 
To be qualified with a Spirit of all sorts, as occasion requires  For such an one, is of an excellent spirit throughout, a man framed by God within & without, with a spirit for marriage, a spirit of cheerfulness, discerning, diligence, dexterity to devise and dispatch also, humbleness, courage, and patient enduring. By these, such an one first orders his own personal way of religion, conscience before God, conversation in tongue, dealings, and example before men: Then nextly he walks before his wife, as a wise man ought: And, he attempts not to rule others before he have got the upperhand of himself: But, having begun (as Physicians do sometime) to try conclusions upon himself, than he prescribes to others, I say that these and the like Graces, concur, to qualify a man of understanding in point of Marriage; as (God willing) in the sequel, shall more fully appear.  
For which purpose, 
Particulars of this general, two.  let this further be enquired into, in what main things consists this virtue of an husband, walking as a man of understanding toward his wife? I answer. In these two, first in matters of God, then in such as concern the married relation. Both these will procure and maintain the honour of marriage on the husband's part: and, the contrary, will prove dishonourable. For the former, I will here touch it only so far as the purpose of the point requires: 
It appears in matters of God.  And first, its requisite for the husband to handsel his understanding with the matters of God. That he count it his crown, first, to seek the Kingdom of God, and that for itself; and from the savour thereof, as one well grounded in the Scriptures, to be able to express his knowledge to his wife till she conceive the like: And, having so done, that he set himself to walk accordingly towards his wife, both in the general, to instruct, admonish, comfort, resolve, support her, and in special in all private or family duties, to be her mouth to God, and to present to him the wants and petitions of all that depend upon him. Both indeed ought to know, they have several souls to save, and not to wrap up themselves in one another's grace: Both aught to be a spiritual body of Christ, anointed which his prophecy and Priesthood: yet, as the man is the Image of God in special, and her head, so ought the Consecration of God to rest upon him, in more abundance then upon her: that she and all the rest may be replenished therewith. So that he (for his part) must be as her Priest, and his lips must preserve knowledge for her: To give some two or three instances of this point. 
Instances wherein.  First for the discharge of family duties (whereof I have spoken before) he must purchase for himself an horn of oil, not only (as one saith) for his vessel to be savoury, but for his lamp to shine. My meaning is not to force such knowledge upon him as is ministerial, exact for degree (God requires no service beyond the ability and Talon received, be it one or three) It's not required that he be an interpreter of the Scriptures; that he gather punctual doctrines, to clear doubts & objections, or to make distinctions & applications beyond his calling: & object: This were but to make the Family duties a stall to vend himself upon, & to pride himself in his parts & endowments (as many have done so long,) while at last thinking themsel. too fledge for their own nest, they have boldly leapt out of their shops & Trades, into the pulpit, thinking themselves as meet to preach as the most able Ministers; no, in no sort: (I krow there is difference in men for their skill and understanding in matters of God, and for sobriety and humbleness of spirit, whom I much honour, and desire not to trench upon, or discourage any Governors in this kind, especially in such a profane world that runs a contrary stream:) But impartially I desire to utter the truth by so just an occasion: and this I say, It's enough for a private person, to insist upon such points of doctrine, and especially of Catechism, as he hath by his careful attention, heard in the ordinary course of the pubblique Ministry handled; to cull out such, and to impart them to his wife and family, in a familiar manner, upon confessed grounds, and upon easy texts: whose sense and scope is plain and undoubted; thereupon, fastening such exhortation, admonition and watch words as best befit him to utter who should be best acquainted with the state of such as are under his roof: rebuking sin, pressing duty; but otherwise as for texts of darker nature, abstaining from them, and leaving them to a public gift of interpreting: which is abler to rectify judgement, and answer doubts, and settle the conscience.  
Secondly, he is to apply himself to his wife, as a man of understanding, in the private way of her soul, helping her out of her fears, answering her doubts and questions according to the light he hath received abroad, to reconcile their timorous and scrupulous spirits to God, by the promise, so oft as they stagger, & to enlarge them with those comforts, to acquaint them with such directions for their walking with God, as themselves have had experience of in their afflicted conditions, to fellow-feele them, to be afflicted with them, to confer with them about their growthes or decays, their slips and recoveries, and so about the fruit of their both public and private worship and service of God: to satisfy them in any such difficultyes and dangers as they meet with, and so to help them aswell in the extraordinary duties of humiliation and Thanks, as occasion requires: of which I said enough in the joint worship of God before. And so thirdly (to conclude this point) he is also to be a man of ability, to encourage, hearten and quicken his wife in respect of any outward burdens she undergoes, to condole with her in them, 
Cant. 8 3.  to underlay her (as the beloved in the Canticles) doth his spouse, that so two may bear that which one cannot, and the toil may be the more cheerfuly undergone, when she sees, that her head steps in to his uttermost to bear the brunt, 
The backwardness of most husbands in this kind.  and discharge her from the di●t of trouble! Alas! how far are most husbands from this course? where are they whose understanding, humbleness and love seeks the good of their wives herein? how seldom do they apply themselves to such public ordinances on the Sabbath or week day to enable them in knowledge? or seek the help of Minister or other to guide them? Or put case some hear or note Sermons (which now is grown each man's case, and not amiss except they find that the gain of writing, mar the power of the truth in their affections) yet they shut up all presently in their Note-bookes, without meditation or aiming at the purchase of a lively stock, of understanding; nor thriving upon their hear, by proof and experience of that they know? Or if they have knowledge, yet how surly and conceited do they grow, drawing their wives rather to errors, and fancies, and busying themselves rather, about matters beyond their reach, and of less consequence, ere they be grounded in the main. How sad are many women for their want this way, that alas! when as they ask their husbands at home, they are little the better, if not much discouraged! Their husband either despising the light of knowledge, and so walking like blocks and idiots in all matters of God: or else filling themselves so with other trash, that knowledge runs over, and is spilt upon the ground: or if they have light, yet resting in generalities, never coming to the experience of the way of God, or life of faith. And by this, they wax barren, & tell their wyves, they are no Preachers, they must go to Ministers, if they will talk of such matters, for it passes their skill to deal in them!  
Now secondly touching the Man's understanding in the matter of the world, 
Understanding in matters outward requisite for the man.  or marriage affairs: He must be as the guide of her youth, going in & out before her: able to direct her way and course with wisdom; not only in point of obedience to God, but also in circumstances, and matters indifferent: for her company, for her solitariness, for silence or speech, showing her what her person and place will admit and bear, that she do not either over or under set up, or cast down her sails, but live within the bounds of her place, for her company, attire, household furniture, expenses of children, what is pure, modest, sober, of good report, what not; who are safely to be conversed with, and trusted in so bad a world as we live in, who to be shunned: he must be her eye to see by, her hand to work, her foot to walk with, to discern things, and persons, how they differ: And these things she must not only learn by the ear from his discourse but discover by marking his practice & example: Beholding in his glass an image of understanding, how wisely he can conceal things not to be uttered, how warily prevent danger to life, name, state: how he can avoid the snares which are laid for him; how he shuneth ill company, remooves offences from the bad, keep peace upon good and safe terms with all men, handle business of weight both without equivocating, and reservation of an ill conscience; and on the other side, without betraying himself, and exposing himself to hazard: and in both how he preserves innocency, and uprightness. Besides these, she may behold in him, neither on the one side cowardice in a good cause, nor in the other, folly in the bad handling of it: how close and secret he is to them that are faithful friends to God and himself; how he is neither basely niggardly, nor yet vainly lavish: that he is neither lightly credulous, nor yet sinfully distrustful: in his liberties, neither taking the uttermost, nor yet scrupling the moderate, and lawful: Thus I say when she sees the image of God shining in his understanding and behaviour, she shall be far from despising him, at least justly, for grace is honourable, and makes the face to shine, even before such as have little good in them; much more such as can observe it; Nay more, she shall honour him, as her head, see cause of entirely loving him, devoting herself, first to God in thanks, for such a blessing, and then to him in all loyal affection. No woman save a Micol can find any disdain in her heart of such an husband. And, (which is the crown of all) she shall represent and act her husband's virtues, upon the stage of her own practice, and conversation. So much for this second.  
Use. 1 If this be thus, how much to blame are many husbands of all sorts, 
Reproof.  we Ministers, you people; who in matters of God suffer their wives to live at random. Because they see it requires some labour to menage the souls of their wyves, 
Husbands not walking as men of understanding to be blamed.  by that near Communion I have spoken of, therefore they pluck off hand quite from board, & leave them wholly to themselves to sink or swim. The very ground of the sluggard doth not so speak against his sloth, 
Pro. ●4 31.  by the briers & thistles wherewith it's overgrown, as the souls of these men's wyves, by their profaneness, and their lives, by their immodest & rude behaviour. So themselves can hold bodily welfare, farewell, sleep and play, and lie down in an whole skin; what care they, what becomes of them? How many inclinations are there in some tender plants (at first marriage) which through the neglect of husbands, vanish. How many sweet parts and graces which lie and rust, for the want of good improovement? how many blemishes and wants (which wise and seasonable counsel might redress) are suffered to grow remediless? how many husbands might say of their wives, as once a shrew said of her husband, she could have lived sweetly with him, if she would? meaning it was not passion, but a spiteful heart which hindered it: so, it's not ignorance, but a ●ase & lazy heart which doth this: had they been worth their ears (God seconding them) they might have improved them sweetly. And how gladly would such wives have blessed God, for their counsel, if they might have been beholding to them for it? what honour had they got for their instrumental help to convert, support & save them? If thou do not this work, how canst thou say, thou lovest her, or thy heart is with her? Surely thou shalt pay the sad shot of her sin; If no place in thy house, bed, board, closet, walk, can witness for thee, if any common work steal away thine heart or leisure from helping her: If she run into riot because thou staydst her not: how just is it, that thy life go for hers, wherewith God betrusted thee?  
Use. 2 Secondly, how great cause is there that some bad husbands should tremble to consider that they have been so far from guiding their wyves with understanding, 
Terror.  that alas! they lack all wisdom to guide themselves. 
Husbands who cannot guide themselves worse.  So that, if their wives should be so unhappy, as to tread in their steps, they must of necessity fall with them into the ditch of all error & profanneesse. Alas! how full is the world of women, (not the worst for disposition & hope of good) who yet through ill planting, (because they see that else they must live a dismal life) not only stumble at the threshold and go not one step forward, but ten degrees backward: being fain to comply with their husbands, and wax tenfold more the children of the devil then before? what is more easy, then for a weak Chamaeleon, a faint and weak creature, to resemble the colour of each cloth its laid in, when they see no fear of God, nor reverence of man, care of Sabbaths, conscience in dealings, savour in examples: to fall to the like? especially finding a sweetness and well-pleasing to the flesh, and nothing to gainsay it? How basely dare they speak of sincerity of the ministry, how vain, frothy and fashionable grow they, their husbands reading them the lecture, and as Abimelec, saying, what you see me do, do ye likewise. How full is each corner of Lamecs' desperate varlets, who act villainy, wrath, rage, envy, worldliness, pride, and scorn before their wives to cast them into the like mould of wickedness?  
Use 3 But, if it fall out, that there be any more wisdom in women matched which such Nabals to observe and judge aright; 
Instruction.  how can they choose, but underprise them for want of understanding? 
Many waves justly stumble at the folly of their husbands.  Is it wonder, that a woman (except very humble) should extremely vilify such an head? Doth the Apostle justly reproove men for wearing shag hair (like women) and for shaming their head, 
1. Cor. 11. 14.  or being ashamed of the glory of God, (which they resemble by the uncovering of it) and shall not these dishonorers of their headship much more be condemned, (as in this matter of walking like men of understanding before their wives?) yes surely: it's no wonder that their complaints against such husbands, are so frequent, & that they can nourish so little honour in their hearts toward them, who power out so much contempt upon their own heads! I do not patronise such women as do so, but yet their disdain is in some sort veinall, against them who do so violate the Ordinance ● what a clog is it to be matched to a man who in stead of staidness and due wisdom, is not so much as sensible, when he is told of his follies? So openly ridiculous, that (as oil in the hand) it bewrays itself to all men? 
Passages of folly in husbands.  So shallow-braynd, fickly, easily led aside by any bad counsellor, to any loose, unclean wasteful courses? who makes as many promises, as he hath fingers on both hands, and that daily, but breaks them before he go to bed? what wise woman can endure it, to see him who should understand himself, to be so silly, credulous, in judicious, that each base cheating companion can cozen him of his wealth, rob him of his money, make him drunk, and pick his pocket? Such a fool, as will lend every man he meets with, that would borrow, not shillings, but pounds, without any band save a bare word, as good never a whit as never the better, to such as are not worth that they borrow? what indignation would it move in a woman, to be compelled to follow her wise husband to the Alehouse, to gaster him thence from drinking and revelling, spending of his time, thrift and honesty? making herself a Byword, to pull him from the pipe and pot, to avoid worse dishonour? Nay and yet to avail little also, but even to see herself sinking and perishing by piece meal, while she beholds in him the cause? when he follows him that leads him to the stocks?  
Or what wise woman could endure a fool within doors, 
Instance.  so full of passion, so talkative, so contentious with children and servants, so weak in government & in his pangs, so hayle-fellow well met with his servants, fond and apish with his maids, ready to traduce his wife in the hearing of strangers and the family, as if he put no difference between times, persons, or occasions? If a foolish woman by her tongue and unseasonableness, be such a shame, yea rottenness of bones, to a wise head: what is he (who should be the head, to her) when his carriage is so burdensome? I have seen an evil (saith Solomon) oppression occupying the place of justice. As if he had said, for a poor man to steal a stick off the hedge is sin, but, for a judge to oppress in the place of judgement is notorious: so, for the husband to play the fool instead of a man of understanding, how disordered? How shall the wife sustain her repute or esteem in the family, when he that should honour her, by his reproaches, withdraws both her own children, servants & negihbors, from their allegiance and duty?  
What a vexation is it likewise, for a woman to be matched to an husband, 
Instance,  who is so idle, and so unfit, to set himself on work about the service of his place, so ready to fleece from her all that she hath, so helpless in his place, so giddy, and gadding up and down from place to place, after his copesmates, pleasures and vanities, that its hard to say, whether she were better want his company to rule his servants, or have his room, to avoid noisomeness?  
Or again, how can a sober nature endure an husband, who is never in his Element, 
Instance.  save when he is in his jigs and jests, unsavoury scoffs and scorns, at every one, wife not excepted, that comes in his way? And in his humorous extremities so contrary, that either he cannot be pulled out of his Melancholy and mopishnes, being discontent; or being humoured, cannot be driven out of his froth and lightness; Like those fiddlers whom the Poet describes, who either cannot be gotten for any need to play, or, if they fall to it, can never adone!  
Who can digest such an inconstant and uncerteyne humour, as perhaps, 
Instance.  for a week, or ten days in an houte, will put on the habit of the most diligent and provident husband, to follow his business: But on the sudden (as one that forgets himself) rushes again into his vein of good fellowship, soaking himself in his Pots, as if he would take revenge of himself for his former abstinence, and make even with himself by spending twice so much by day after day, as he saved by his diligence? what is so irksome to a woman, in company, where she becomes, as to see her husband, (whose honour should be her Crown) to be the jest and laughing stock of fools, an object of May-game to each one, who will make himself sport with his baseness? I might be endless; But in a word, she that is yoked to a foolish head, what a spectacle is she of a woman miserable by necessity?  
Use. 4 I conclude therefore this first branch of the husband's duty. Let every wise one abhor this Idea of folly: 
Conclusion with exhortation to husbands to be men of understanding.  endeavouring himself to the uttermost of his power, (according to the gift of God) to walk with his wife, as an understanding husband: both in matters of God, and the way of common life: that so he may draw from her (as the weaker) due acknowledgement of him in his place, as set over her for a guide and Director: In whom, (under God) she may repose confidence, applying both absent, & present, without fear or suspicion: returing that reverence, which his worth hath deserved: and bearing willingly with infirmities, because her lot is fallen into a good ground. As for the husband, although his wife should not perceive his worth, (for some good wives cannot) yet seeing its his chief understanding to see none of his own virtues, but to conceal all, let him choose rather to be a man of knowledge, though his wife should not behold it, then to be magnified of a flattering woman (as some are) deserving contempt.  
And now I should have passed to the next point, had not this come in my mind, that the Apostle in this Charge includes cohabitation: for he who must dwell with his wife, as a man of knowledge; at least must then dwell with her: else the subject is taken away. 
Cohabitation of the man with the wife necessary.  Where else (I pray) save in his house should his understanding appear? Or where should he shine else, save in his own sphere? This is that which the Apostle chargeth them, 
1 Cor. 7 10.  who were yoked with Infidels, (themselves being converted) that they depart not in dwelling from the unbelieving party: Use 5 if he or she would depart, so it was, but let not them, 
Humiliation to all that refuse to cohabite.  if the other will abide. I wish that the woeful age we live in, urged this my Admonition: which I have glanced at by passage before; but here as the duty of this place. Persons of great rank and quality, think themselves lawless in this kind; Even a base thing they deem it, to dwell with their wives. Not only not one bed, board, roof, town, shire, but scarce one kingdom can (long) hold some of them. And some are so noted for this trick, that it were good at last, they would note themselves. Each distaste and discontent to their unjust, unreasonable humours, is enough to cause a settled, habitual separation between them, and their wives, not for days (which in cases is allowable) but for months, quarters, years, many years together. Who doubtless, if they might have jewish liberty would much gladlier be divorced And what gain they by their separation? Dishonour to themselves, sorrow to their wives, I might say snares to them both: distemper to family, ruin to their estate, wrong to their country; ill example to inferiors, scandal to the irreligious. Besides, both occasion to themselves abroad, 
Reproach of Seperaters.  clandestine societies & leagues with those that are luxurious, wanton, defiled women: and lay offences and snaresin the way of their wives at home (except they make the more conscience) to forsake their Covenant, and to expose themselves to like uncleanness. For why? Their husband is gone a far journey, & you know what followeth. Surely thine amends is justly in thy hands, who provokest it! Husband's should say to their wives, as Ruth to Naomi; As the Lord liveth, 
Ruth. 1. 16.  nothing save death shall part us. Thy house, thy Children, thy Church, thy God, & no other shall be mine, till death separate. It is not the way for thee, for the obtaining thy base ends of thy wife to depart from her: (pity it should) but rather to exasperate her; Its cohabitation, which is blessed to solder breaches in time, not Separation. The practice of the greater sort is so rife now adays, that it grows common, among the inferior sort, & will be a sore incurable. A deserted Lady, or Gentlewoman, is become a common notion. As one said, now the dog's bark at the Masters of family, when they return, as if they were absolute strangers: forgetting them, as they did their wives. Oh shame! Let Kings that be wise keep near their Crowns! and husbands that would be happy, near their wyves: not turning jew and Samaritan, who intermeddle not. Such husbands, as care not themselves to become whoremongers; or to make their wives as good as themselves, let them depart. But let all others, dwell together with them as men of understanding, bringing in honour to their Marriage by this personal duty. So much for this chapter, and first office of the man, be spoken.   

CHAP. XI.  
Proceeds to the second Personal duty of the man: Providence.  
I Proceed according to my order, 
Second several duty of the Husband, Providence.  to the second several duty of the husband, & that is in one word, Providence. As he is the husband in name, so must he be in deed: he must play the good husband. Neither hath he his namo for naught: for the husband is as the house-band, which (as the corstone to the sides of the building) hold in all the parts of the house: which would soon dissolve and crack, if (under God) his providence did not support it. He is the steward both for his wife, and himself: especially without doors: He is not to put his wife to it, as one insufficient himself to menage it, but (considering she hath her handsfull at home) he is to undertake the whole burden abroad: as being the party, to whom (by divine dispensation) the credit of the well-improoving it, doth belong: and therefore upon whom, the shame of the contrary must lie. God hath put into him a spirit of deeper insight, forecast, prudence and prevention, than the woman, to this very end. And to say the truth; The Lord hath imposed this burden upon him in Adam, instantly upon his fall, as the penalty for his base yielding up his authority to his wife, & enslaving his spirit to hers when yet his fire will abode enite. True it is Adam was to till the garden before his fall, even during his innocency: but that was a labour most sweet & contentful unto him. To the sinner doth God give toil and sorrow (saith Solomon) and so, 
Eccles. 2. 26.  since his sin, labour is waxen a toil and vexation to him, and is, so that now in the sweat of his brows, he must get his living. He that shakes off this yoke, is a double Rebel, both against the first charge in innocency, of not disobeying, and secondly against the penalty of suebjcting himself to travail. In respect hereof, job saith: 
job. 5. 7.  Man is as naturally borne to labour, as the sparks to fly upward: as naturally deputed by God to the one, as subject by his own sin to the other; as the Hebrew word [gnaval] imports, which includes sin and toil in one. The woman brings all her state and stock, putting it into his hands, resigning it up to him as her agent, and the more able party to improove it: if he fail her, he betrays both his trust to treachery, and her state to embezeling. There be two sorts of Infidels taxed by the Holy Ghost: the one in our Saviors words, Take ye no thought what ye shall put on, or eat; for your father knows what is meet for you. And why? The infidels do but so: 
Math. 6. 25. 26  And the other by Paul. He that provides not for his family, hath forsaken the faith, and is worse than an Infidel: 
1. Tim. 5. 8.  Excess of providence, aswell as defect of it, both are taxed by the name of heathenism. Therefore, so far as good conscience will permit, the man is bound to the Law of providence. He must oversee the affairs of his own household, 
Prov. 27. 23.  as Solomon speaks, he must look to the flocks of sheep, and herds of cattle, laying in provision for them: by this one, urging the whole Baylywick of providence requisite for the support of the family. And that which the Apostle speaks, 
1. Cor. 7. 33.  is to the same purpose, That the husband looks in his way, after the things of the world, that he may please his wife: he speaks not of it, as of their blemish (so they add no excess and sin to the act) but as a necessity imposed by God's Command.  
Now as touching that point, 
Reason of it in general, he honours his marriage by 〈◊〉 and how?  that the husband in several must close with this special duty of Providence, appears by the honour which hereby he procures to the married condition. And this I suppose no man will question. For why? Wherein stands the Prince's honour, save in the wealth of his subjects? And wherein is the honour of a State save in both? what peace can subsist, what ware can be supported without wealth? Even so here. The husband is the Prince of the family, if he be base and beggarly, what is more ridiculous? what is so pitiful to behold, as a poor King, a titular Prince, that hath nothing to support his state, save a bare right? being the whilst most forlorn and forsaken? So, how shall things belonging to the diet, attire and welfare of the family, be provided, if the Treasure fail? And how can that choose but fail, if Providence the channel of this fountain fail? If the Pilot of the ship be idle or a sleep, what shall become of the ship? Must it not needs run on ground, and be swallowed up in the quicksands? And, what a dishonour is it for him who should count it a more blessed thing to give, then to receive, who should reach out an alms to six and seven, and do much good? himself and his family to become burdensome to others by his penury? Especially when, not the hand of God, (which can overthrow the best providence) but the improvidence of the idle or ill occupied husband hath procured it. Again, when the husband honour's marriage by this Providence, those who fare well by it, honour him back again with the rendition of his own. The weak woman and the shiftless children, seeing what a prop, and father of a family the Lord hath set over them, acknowledge his care, with honour to God, and reverencing him, as the instrument of their welfare, next under God. He resembleth after a sort, 
Ephes 3. 15.  God himself, whom Paul calls the Father upon whom all the families of the earth depend, and are called by his name: whose honour it is to fill all with his blessing, to provide for all creatures their due food in season, as they need it, with clothing and other things both for need and comfort: even so, the eyes of all the family mediately look up to the Master thereof, looking that by him as a steward, the Lord should furnish them with necessaries; yea, to end this, how honourable is such an husband, even in the eyes of them, among whom he lives? How is both Church, Commonwealth, & Town beholding to such, as are provident, for the upholding of peace, the Gospel, & the poor? If all were careless Husbands what must become of all these? Some I grant shall ever be poor, but these subsist in all these respects, by the aid of the Provident, when as spend thrifts do nothing but pull down the house with their hands. The conclusion is, If the personal diligence of the husband do so much honour his marriage, he hath good cause to put to his best care, to be provident.  
Quest. But here is the question, wherein this Providence of his consists? For answer whereto: I conceive that this point, might tempt me to enter into a Commonplace of Providence; But I will waive that in this place, attending the point as here it stands, 
In what consists it?  cutting off whatsoever doth not peculiarly touch this relation. Answ. I say then, This gift stands in sundry points. First and principally, it stands in learning perfectly the trade of his way, 
First in the through skill in the Trade of his way.  even while he is young: If there must be teachers, Teach a child etc. then there must be learners: This is the Seminary of Providence in husbands that they have learned their way, 
Prov. 6. 6.  in youth. There must then be a foresight of things to come, in youth; and a willing subjection of themselves to such wisdom and painfulness, as may enable them, with skill sufficient in their trade of life (what sort soever it be of) to be provident. The very Pismire is taught by instinct: but it's not so here, man must be trained with much ado, and discipline, to be provident. First by wisdom, he is to shun all unlawful, scandalous and base ways or Trades of life; 
Shunning unlawful trades.  & apply himself to that way which is most warrantable, & best agreeable to his nature (whether ingenuous, or mechanical:) and that by the direction of his wisest Governors and friends. Mock trades savouring half of idleness, half of work, base Trades which import a shifting, indirect and ill reported way of Support, and profane Godless Trades of life must be abhorred. Such as to be a Serving man for inheritance, to keep an Alehouse or bowling Alley, to be a stageplayer, Dancer or the like. Secondly he must compass for himself through God's blessing, by the learning the mystery of this or that meet Trade, ability & experience to himself, to make him a provident husband. He must have his eyes in his head, to observe and mark the secret of his way, 
He must get wisdom & insight, not scorning them that can direct  that he may get insight and experience; he must not be so wise in his own way, as to slight them who should teach him the right way, which may maintain him afterward: But he must subject himself with teachableness to their direction, that an habit of skill may accrue thereby. For, not only through the total lack of a trade, but the half still in the trade, and inexpertnesse therein, many of all sorts, procure to themselves most uncomforable and shifting courses in marriage, whether bred to means, or wanting them.  
To this, add, curiosity and giddiness of brain, in meddling with many trades, 
Curiosity in trades must be abhorred.  and fickle weariness in attending upon thine own, carrying a busy heart and eye over the trades of others, having many irons in the fire at once, so that some must needs be marred: this error must be abhorred. And there is none more common: and yet very dangerous, stealing away the heart from a settled applying of the mind to one thing, distracting it to many: as we see how many curious brains, prying into things beyond their skill, and trying conclusions, for the satisfying of their humorous spirit, have laid all their estate and hopes in the dust.  
Thirdly a stock must follow skill, to help the improoving of skill. 
There must be a stock less or more to occupy.  The best husband may sit still, if he want wherewithal. Yet, we must know a little stock is a stock, as well as a great one, all have not the like abilities, but all sorts must be occupied about their stocks, more or less. They who have but one talon, have suitable expenses, or contentment in less: they must not bury it, but employ it, as far as a little will extend, 
job. 7. 8.  looking at the promise; Though thy beginning be but small, yet thy latter end shall be full of increase. Although other trades outstrip them by their stocks, yet they go not so fast forward but providence and blessing may follow, and sometimes overtake them, if there be faith and patience to wait, and not be discouraged. Each man's stock is his own, or aught to be; Such as have not the patience to be doing with a little, but must hasten beyond rule, to borrow, and rake a stock together, or to follow their first Credit out of breath, till they load themselves with more dealings then they can digest, are not like to attain to much, but lay a foundation of Bankerupts. For, a competent stock followed with moderate diligence, though it be sure of no great increase, yet (usually) frees the owner, from excessive losses: which are much worse than slow gains.  
Fourthly, skill and Stock being gotten, 
Application of himself to his Object, with diligence  (though some trades consist more in manual work then stock, and others in the activity of the mind, not the body) there must be an of the one to the other; else providence fails. The upper millstone of skill must run upon the other, of Stock. The hand & the saw are not enough to cut the log in two, there must be an hand of life, to move and draw the one upon the other; and so, some what comes of it. This Mortmain of sloth will spoil providence, what skill and stock so ever there be besides: & therefore there must be all dexterity, cheerfulness, and painfulness exercised to keep life in a trade. A wise, seasonable taking in of wares, of Commodities, at the best hand, paying old scores, ere new be made, warily: and a putting off in season, not overpassing our best marquet and opportunity; an accommodating, pliable and acceptable spirit to traffic with others, (a fine gift to be a Chapman if it go without baseness and flattery, and with truth and simplicity.) To be as ready to put off, or take in, without either rashness in the one, or covetousness in the other; are all meet properties for a provident husband. The Apostle Rom. 12. 11. hath one sweet rule for this: Not slothful in business, but fervent in spirit, serving the Lord. q. d. So far as God's work is not hindered by our own, it's a comely sight to see a man active in his employment. The diligent hand (saith Solomon) maketh rich: 
Prov. 10. 4.  and, in all labour there is abundance, if it be wise. He said not amiss that said, I love when I eat my meat to eat heartily, and when I am at work, to follow it closely: so to do each thing as if (for the present) I did nothing else. It's a common saying, He that keeps his shop, his shop will keep him. The speech is usual. It's not enough, not to be idle, except a man be well occupied too: early up, & never the nearer, is to small purpose. A wise, judicious head is as good a tool for a Trade, as a nimble apprehension; lest cost without wit, prove waist. Here then observe some Rules.  
First begin thy action and workmanship with God: 
Rules for diligent improvement.  and the rather if thy service be the work of Study, of the mind especially. Trust not thine own wisdom, but commit thy ways to God. 
Prov. 16 3.  That so, as thou hast shunned a bad trade, so thou mayst abhor all baseness in a good one, which easily creeps in, 
Begin it with God.  under colour. It's in vain to build, except the Lord be the Master builder: 
Psal. 127. 1.  Except the Lord watch the City, in vain are the watchmen: in vain it is to eat brown bread, and drink water, rising early, and lying down late; for, he giveth rest to his beloved. Many have miscarried in their thrift and prosperity; no man can tell how, or why? save only that irreligion hath bred a secret canker, and shut God out of doors. I have noted it, some cannot keep out the waters from flowing in, and wealth from increasing, while they in a manner sit still: and others fray it away by their eagerness. For the one counts it the honour of their faith to sit still, 
Esay. 30. 7.  (thy strength shall be to sit still) and make no haste: the other by their haste, fill themselves with snares. God will be the chief mystery in all trades: not Manu-factuaries and Merchandise only, but even Sciences, and ingenuous Studies: even Scholars must place the Bible above all their books: and all sorts of set prai●r above, and before all their work.  
Yet so make God's providence chief, 
Rule 2.  as not destroying thine own. 
Yet destroy not thine own.  Beware of base cowardly Sioth. Ease slays the fool, both body and soul. It puts hand in bosom, but is loath to pull it out. It's like Jacob, for frost and heat, and all weathers; 
Prov. 1. 32.  it frames lions in the way, if it should put forth itself, lusking in a bed of idleness, loathing action. Such should not eat. 
Prov. 18 9  The idler is the companion of the waster; whiles he rolls upon his hinges, folds his hands and yanes after more sleep and sloth, he hastens poverty upon himself, as the necessity of an armed man. The thorns on his backside are his Emblem. Yet abhor being ill occupied, as much as sloth. There is a golden measure in all things: Our proverb saith, better sit for naught, then stir for naught. Rash, headlong, wilful, indiscreet busying a man's self, may prove worse than lying in bed: as some eager on●s, keep wares (at a good price offered) till they prove trash: It's a question whether there be more husbands prove beggars by the pot and pipe, then by overmuch nimbleness, and deepness in the world, and meddling too much.  
Thirdly, 
Rule 3.  a good husband must beware of loathing and wearisomeness in his calling; 
B●wa●e of p●king quareiss with thy Calling.  when gains come not in, according to thy expectation, and desert. (for I speak still to all Artists, both studious, and manual) Look not at other trades of quicker return and dispatch, to bring thee out of conceit with thine own. Abide in the vocation, wherein God hath pitched thee. Hold the trade of thy youth, till old age; leave it not, either because thou thrivest not fast enough, or because thou hast thriven enough already: still show that thy trade is not thine only object. I deny not, but some cases there may be, where the trade may be altered: as when stock is wanting, without dangerous borrowing upon usury: when it's so sunk, that it affords no competency for the family: when some other is offered wherein as much skill as in the former, or some mark, of providence appears that the change is from God. But, to pick quarrels with our trades, that we might turn to such as we conceit to be speedier for return and gain, that we might be rid of our own, threatens future misery under the speciousness of present commodity: To go through many trades, is the high way to beggary.  
Fourthly, 
Rule 4.  subject thyself to thy trade of life, not for gain sake, 
Subjection to God in a Calling.  but for conscience, (whether thou get or not) as that yoke which God hath put upon thy neck, to try thee: to tame thy sloth, pride and other sin, that the penalty of Adam's curse, 
Deut. 33. 8. 9 10.  may become to thee (as jacob's curse upon Levi, through his obedience to God, became to him) a blessing. The travail of the husband's hands, 
1. Tim. 2, 15.  and labour may possibly be made to him (as the travail of the womb is made to the believing wife) a benefit and favour. Only the rebellion of an unsubject heart to the obedience of God, (in what kind soever) brings a curse. The richest man, yea the Gentleman, must hold his trade still; the poorest also must abide in it: both, as in their vocation. The Lord tries thereby, the faith, patience, meekness, bounty, thankfulness, selfedeniall, uprightness and pains of the husband. It's not given for men to fledge themselves and mipe their feathers by, but to avoid temptations and snares, which if we avoid not, but incur nevertheless (as most do) we turn God's remedy into an increaser of the disease: that is, an occasion of eager worldliness surfiting with cares and excess, a bai●● of oppression, usury and unrighteousness. Besides by the calling, the Lord would teach a Christian husband, to know, what that portion is which he purposes to allot him, and what not: and doth thereby serve his providence in the competent support of us, and ours, without sin and sorrow. For, 
Prov.  such is the portion of the righteous.  
Fiftly, 
Rule. 5.  beware of moiling and toiling in the world, only to pocket up and hoard treasure and store, 
Aim not at b●arding up, ●r multiplying t●y estate.  filling our bellies with God's hidden store (as David Psal. 17. describing the ungodly, speaketh) which one day will bring a wasting and consumption as fast, either upon ourselves, or ours. But abhor all such aiming to enhance ourselves above others for the jollity and pride of life. This is the cast of most men, if once become great, to bestow all upon their pleasures, in hawking, gaming, prodigality and wantonness, that they might have much the more (as that heathen said) to satisfy their lust and appetite. To set their wives, children and selves on float in the bravery of buildings, in curious fashions, or costly apparel, and the like. The Lord can pluck your plumes quickly, if we drink to be drunk, or forget our beginning to be from the dunghill: (as indeed none grow prouder than such base ones) keep we moderation then, and be sober: God tries us by prosperity, what is in us; we may enjoy the travel of our hands, and the benefit of our welfare, so, that prodigality on the one side, and base nigardise on the other, (which commonly in this self-loving world concur) be abhorred.  
Sixtly, 
Rule 6.  (which perhaps to some may seem strange) God will have thee maintain thy husbandry and providence, 
Serve God with thy increase.  by serving him with the increase of thy labour, and his blessing. Look about thee and see what objects God hath planted for thy bounty to be bestowed upon. Thy wealth if it be a standing pool, will stink and baine thee; If it be a stream, it will be sweet, and all the bulk shall be pure unto thee. As in the Manna, all had their due; the plenty of the gatherer of much, abounded to the supply of him that lacked. By the decays of others, God trieth thee. If when blessing comes in upon thee, thou welcomest it with an evil eye, saying, This is little enough to pay debts, this will do well to increase my stock, this is for the clothing of my children, I will spend this upon costly apparel for my wife: and all that comes is only for thine own use; and thou shrinkest up the bowels of thy compassion so much the more: know, this will destroy all as a Canker bred in a fair apple; No, say thus, This plenty will serve me, and God too: part of this shall supply the defects of my faithful Minister, poor decayed neighbour, such a poor widow, such poor Orfans, poor Students at University: hast thou such an heart to the poor members of Christ, (that no complaints may be heard in thy streets, that thou, and they may meet together and worship God with the more joyful hearts, that the Gospel and religion of God may be supported, both in peace and especially in persecution? It's a sign, that God means to make thy horn full, and thy winepress to burst with new wine: well continue, & do so still; try the Lord if he will not requite thee: Thy goodness cannot reach unto the Lord himself; let it extend to his saints & such as excel in virtue; Sand thy treasure to heaven before thee, 
Psal. 16. 2. 3.  cast thy bread upon the waters, trust God, & after many days, if thou trust God, it shall return again. Many rich husbands profess religion, but all their serving of God, 
Eccles. 11. 1.  is no other, then the poorest Christian may perform: to pray, hear, confer: But as for the duty they owe to God as rich men, they cast it behind their back. They think that their works should hinder their faith: and so hoard up hundreths, yea thousands together, but do nothing till God by degrees, waist and consume both them and their posterity, as a moth, and at last root them up quite, out of the land of the living. Beware of this curse therefore.  
Seventhly, 
Rule 7.  if any affronts, losses, ill success, or discontents befall thee, 
T●ke losses as well as gains patiently and contentedly.  in thy course of providence, by ill debtors, servants, children; look up in thine innocency with cheerfulness to the smiter; aswell, as in thy gains. Both are alike from him, even to wean thee from the sweet milk of those breasts, which thou art loath to be weaned from, to knock thee off from hence; and to prepare thy spirit for better welfare; Be patient; Trades are as the sun, which though it set over night, yet returns in the morning; jobs latter days, after he had been tried, proved happier, than the former; And, 
job. 42. 10.  when both the miser and waster, shall both be left to want, the Lord yet shall sustain thee, and thy faith (which yet the world thinks will buy no meat in the marquet) shall be such currant pay in heaven, that it shall purchase thee abundance upon earth.  
To conclude, 
Rule 8.  let all thy providence determine in this full point. 
Be joyful in all thy labour u●der the sun.  That hereby, thine heart may rejoice, thou and thy wife enjoying the fruit of thy travail, that thou mayst not be like to them, that roast not that, they got in hunting. For what hath a man of all that sore travail and labour, which as a poor son of Adam, he hath taken here under the sun? save that a man eat and drink, and cheer his heart in the goodness of the giver: 
P●o● 5. 18.  and rejoice in the wife of thy youth: let her share with thee. 
job. 31. 27.  I mean not as job saith, That he kiss his own hand, and magnify the Idol of his provident head, saying; All this hath mine hand gotten: nor that he soak himself in the Creature, and set himself to look upon the sun in her brightness, and the Moon in her increase, adoring the outward means, and denying the Almighty: this were Idolatry and Sacrilege; No, but quietly and thankfully praising God, and rejoicing (as those Israelites were charged to do when they brought their first fruits) in all which they put forth their hands unto. 
Deut. 26.  Taking with a loving right hand, that which God reacheth out, causing themselves to serve him with a glad heart, for all which the Lord hath done for them: Better thus, then as many do, pursing and stopping up in holes & corners, in an rag, or in the ground: & perhaps here one debtor running away with an hundreth, there another cheater with fifty; or perhaps, a thief digging through & stealing as much in another kind. To the wicked God gives toil and vexation of body of spirit, more discontent than all their plenty can breed peace: whereas the rest of the Righteous is sweet, be their portion more or less, through the good will of him that dwelled in the bush, added to their Providence. See then, that it be so, that thou play not the block under all mercies, so that neither a good day should mend, nor a bad pair thee. But first for thy outward condition, proportion thine expenses according to thy revenues, as near as thou canst: keep down thine heart, and then its lawful for thee to live according to thy means. Cut thy coat according to thy cloth, rather living at an under then an over rate; as knowing its easier to fall then to rise, and yet understanding what scantling God allows; yet better be a cheerful dispenser, than a base niggardly grudger at the use of what God hath given. As the good woman said, husband better spend it freely as God sends it, than knaves run away withal. Then for thy spiritual course, let thine heart be doubly and trebly cheerful in the Lord, saying with her, my Soul magnifies the Lord, and my flesh rejoices in his salvation: If I ought to make him my strength in the lowest adversity: 
Luke. 1. 46. 47.  although neither vine should bear grapes, nor the olive her fruit, 
Heb. 3. 17.  although there were neither Calf in the stall, nor bullock in the flock: how much more then, when my paths are anointed with oil, and my streams run full of butter and honey? And so much (if not too much) for the answer of this question, wherein providence stands.  
Use. 1 I conclude all with use: and first of reproof (for this point is fruitful in unfruitfulness; 
Reproof.  first, how many husbands are there, who (contrary to the vows made to their wives in this behalf, 
Branch.  at their entry upon marriage) cast off this burden from themselves, 
Careless deserters of their wives, odious.  & lay it wholly upon the weak shoulders of their wives? In the mean while themselves bearing themselves upon the fidelity or the drudgery of the wi●e at home, go abroad, and open the sluice and floodgates of prodigality and wastfulness, that all the labour of the wife at home, cannot dam up the waters. They spending and spoiling more abroad in an hour, than the woman can patch up or redress at home in a week: and so outstrip her way, by their own, till all be brought to ruin! Oh! the misery of such wives that suffer, should I say, or rather husbands that procure it: but indeed both one and other? Others leave their houses at large, committing all to wind and weather, to sink or swim, while they follow their lusts, companies & pleasures; without control. Thus, woefully inverting the method of God, injuriously laying a double load upon the weaker party, till her shoulders crack again: who yet undertake it to shun utter debt, and yet at last fall into it nevertheless: To these add another sort of such as enter into marriage without any calling at all, 
Branch.  having brought this snare upon themselves by neglect to learn the trade of their youth, 
Neglecters of learning their Trade.  for vanities sake, and serving their lusts, and so, (although they repent them of their folly, yet still they are destitute of skill in their vocation, and so expose themselves to a vain & wearisome course of life, to many snares and temptations, as this for one, basely to live upon usury: and wanting skill to bargain, buy & sell, either they must live upon the stock, till it be spent, and then run up and down shifting & hanging upon every man's sleeve, or else live upon the sweat of other men, while they live idly so that, 
Lyvers upon their usury odious.  of all other members of the Common wealth, they are most useless to themselves & noisome to others. Thirdly others, 
Improvidence under colour of Religion vicious.  who under colour of religion and zeal, wax careless, in matter of Providence, and in a diligent watching to their calling, and lawful employments, thinking it a venial error, yea a praise to them, that having somewhat to take too, yet they are not worldly: to whom it may be replied. Neither are you provident husbands, to maintain your families: for know ye, that faithful attendance to a calling, is far from worldliness: that is, rather the honour of a Christian husband, to be provident. Nay, some will run out from their shops & Trades, (as men weary of work) from house to house, hither and thither; and all under colour of religion, as to hear Sermons ten or twenty miles off, in the week day (their wyves and children being unprovided the while) and being poor men, and behind hand, abide by the 3. or 4. days in places, to confer, to repeat Sermons, to utter some gift of their own, as their memory, or Prayer, or broach some new point of their own devising, or lament the evils of others: (●hings good, in their kind, and within their compass, but) as they handle them, most odious and unseasonable. And thus, t●ey delude such as are simple minded Christians, rob them of their goods, under these colours, by their craving, com●layaing or borrowing; whereas, children and wife at home, famish, and themselves by such bad custom, more and more wax unfit and disabled for the work of providence: whereas, during this time, they might have gained more at home by labour, than they can scrape up by their ill courses, besides the reproach to religion. These are inordinate livers.  
Fourthly, 
Branch 4.  others, not having been trained up early, in some lawful trade of life, 
〈◊〉 ●●ing courses dishonour marriage.  are fain to take up base and dishonourable wa●es and shifts to live upon; as, to get licenses for Alehouses, to set up houses for tippling, dicing and pleasures; others, shrouding themselves under the wing of great personages, set up Bowling-allies, to toll in the Gentry to pastimes, (which they are much more prone too then to works of charity) and so, they withdraw inhabitants from their trades, spoil their servants with idleness, and toll in poor men of the country to drink and spend their moneys, and when the rain hinders their sports, then to their cards and dice within: And such are the remedies of men, who having spent their youth in idle service, must live upon the sin of others, and the overthrow of the country. Others, through idleness play the vagabonds, and take their vagaries, seeking their fortunes, within or beyond the seas, or play the Parasites to Gentlemen, serving all their turns for their advantage, and most sinfully betraying them to wickedness. Others spend their time, in devising and living by their wits, cleaving to young heirs, dissolute spendthrifrs, to fill their bellies. 
Young heirs, w●●stfull, overthrowing their Marriages.  Nay, how many heirs themselves, who might have subsisted comfortably, either in their Parent's family's, or upon their inheritances; and followed their callings with success, and blessing: yet, falling upon lewd companions, and waxing loose and un●rideled in their manners, either match themselves basely and contrary to their Parents aims, or if married better, abandon wife and children, give themselves wholly to whoring, gaming, riot and wasting of their substance, till they have stripped themselves of means, wit, and honesty, to the unspeakable vexation of Parents, if they live to be witnesses, and of the utter desolation of souls and bodies, wife and posterity? How is the country pestered with such vermin? How doth the Devil by this means, uphold his Kingdom, (for he hath fit covers for such cups) and hereby gather kites to the carrion, fits them with sherkers and horseleeches, who by flattering and admiring them for their bounty, squeeze out all from them, and leave them as Gulls! Oh ye fools! how long will you delight in eating and devouring your own flesh? will no persuasion enter, till (as Samson was from his Dalila) so you be haled from your lusts, and like fools to the stocks: that is from taking of purses by the high way, and such cheats, you be haled to prison, to the gallows, 
Digression admonitory to Parents.  to hell itself, without mercy stop you! Oh! you Parents, cease your raking and scraping up of goods for such spendthrifts! or, for, you know not what ends, for the increasing (to be sure) of sorrow to yourselves, while you live, and of sin, when you are gone! Do good with that you have, l●●t God sting you in those children, and children's children, for whom you as basely hoard, as they power our sinfully! Sooth them up no longer in their sin, who are li●● to bring your whore hears with sorrow to the grave!  
Fifthly, 
Branch 2.  how many husbands are there, who by their heady improvidence, 
Undiscreet borrow, overstockings, u●dersellings, bad husbandry.  either borrowing to stock themselves more than ever they can pay, or selling their wares underfoot, to procure present moneys (by which a while they feed their Creditors) do for a short time set up their top sails, a while, bearing it out with other men's wealth, and when they can hold no longer than they leave them in the lurch: many such wretches, ruining the whole families of many better husbands then themselves, with their wives and children. More fit (in truth) to be hanged up, then to pester a Commonwealth: and some other maintain their state and pomp by such desperate courses, even under a colour of religion, causing hundreths at once to make outcries against professors, when they prove Bankrupts. Add sixthly to these such hotspurres as will not be idle, but run into another extreme of wilfulness, rushing upon matters beyond their skill, and reach: affecting plots and inventions of gain, either by Adventures, or by new Manufactures, resolved either to win the spurs, or to lose all. And so, they have lost all indeed, and withal drawn many with them (who were as greedy of gain) into deep expenses and forfeits of their states, and indeed they are both well enough served, to teach them (as Paul speaks) to follow their own affairs with quietness. Others weary of their slow-paced Trades, desirous to hasten them, 
Branch. 7.  how do they enlarge their providence, (rather their greediness) as hell, 
Engrossing many farms at once.  thrusting as many irons at once into the fire, as they can come by: adding house to house, and farm to farm, borrowing upon eight, (gaining scarce four) in the hundreth, yet dreaming of golden mountains. Till at last, (the mistress of fools teaching them too late) they perceive, their haste to have brought forth blind whelps, and wish they had made no more haste, then good speed. Eightly, how ordinary a course now adays is it with men, 
Branch. 8.  (as I touched before) to wrangle with their callings, 
Changing of Callings.  that they might change them, and seek others, till (as the dog catching at the shadow) they lose the flesh, and forfeit that they have: which is, to cast their present real estate upon the casual and uncerteyne hope of things to come.  
Yet since this occasion is offered, I speak not, as if all deserting of a calling, 
In what respects a man may change or divert from his calling.  or diversion from it, for a time, were unwarranted. For sometime it so falls out by providence, that a man deserts Country and all, and departs to such a place, as will not admit a possibility of the exercise of his calling: so that in the one, he must needs yield the other. Again, sometimes the outward members, senses, and the inward abilities of a man desert him, and disable him from his calling: when as yet some slighter employment may perhaps befit him well enough. Necessity of banishment caused many holy men, to make buttons and points for their living, who before had studied and written books. So also the trade may be so grown out of request, either by multitude of Traders, or by deadness of the wares, that they cannot support the workmen: or they may be so low, and require so much work to be done for money, that a trader cannot live on them. Shall then the maintenance of the family, hang upon the strict point of not change of a calling? No in no sort. But in these or any the like cases, (whereof are many) the end must rule the means, and any other lawful course, which lies nearest to the skill or sleight of the workman, is allowed, for the support of the family. Only let men beware, lest out of a fickle, ungrounded, lazy, wearisome, covetous, reaching, aspiring spirit, they desert not their Callings: and, if they needs must, yet let them chuze to divert rather from them for a time, and return to them after, when providence yields opportunity for it, then show that they willingly and slightly were moved to abandon them at the first. But this by the way.  
Endless it were, 
Branch. 9  to mention all abuses in this kind: but to finish, 
Unsubjection to the Rule of Providence.  how many have we, who through their Rebellion, will not be subject to the duty of Providence? Others, who spoil all by improvidence, and having sold all, even their wyves clothes off their back, make a mock of it, saying If any can make more of their wyves, than they have done, let them take them! How many others, who having gotten a fair estate by their Providence, yet wast it as fast, by their jollity and lavishness? making their houses Through-faires for Epicures, and boon companions, disquieting their poor wives from their settled family business, to wait upon such base Companions, contrary both to her spirit & conscience! Or, if not, yet far from honouring God with their Increase, or their marriage, with wise dispensing of their estate. These excesses have (as thou mayst see good Reader) caused me to lengthen out this Argument, as if I had not only treated about marriage Providence, but providence in the general, & the contrary thereto. But I hope, that some may light upon what I have said, & amend. Thus much for the use of Reproof.  
Use. 2 The latter use is Exhortation: Let all good Husband's honour their Marriage and the Lord, by a faithful improovement of this duty of Providence. Let them avoid all extremities, 
Exhortation.  both on the right hand and left: and in welldoing commend themselves to God as to a faithful keeper, and God alsufficient. Let them neither go to work carkingly, nor yet carelessly. Let them abhor idleness, and yet shun ill occupiednesse. And by that I have said of the sin of Improvidence, let them learn the contrary: and so shall they (as much as in them lies) build up the house, give good example to their wives to do the like within, serve God with cheerfulness, and enjoy the fruit of their Travail with contentedness, when the slothful and prodigal shall perish and vanish. And for this second peculiar duty of the husband, viz. Providence, so much, and for this Chapter.   

CHAP. XII.  
Treateth of the third and last Personal Office of the man, Honour of Respectiveness to his wife.  
NOw I proceed to the third and last duty of the husband towards his wife, 
The 3. particular duty of the husband, respectiveness.  which is honour, and due respect to his wife. The ground of which is the ordinance of God, 
Gen. 2. 23.  by which, they are made one flesh. For so saith Moses, when the Lord had brought the woman to Adam, he embraced her, saying, This is bone of my Bone, and flesh of my flesh: She shallbe called woman; because she is taken out of man. For this cause shall a man forsake his father and mother, and cleave to his wife, and they twain shallbe one flesh. 
The opening of the point at large.  Lo, with what honourable esteem, he welcomes this his blessed compeer into the world. Now, its true, the wife in this respect, 
Eph. 5. 18. 29.  oweth the like tye of tenderness towards him: But, we must know, this first lies upon the man; to her ward, because he is the root of the relation. We say, that love descends from the Father to the Child, because he is the foundation of the reference. Not, but that mutualnesse is required; But the Original root must first impart himself; Now upon this root of union, the Apostle enforceth this duty: No man ever hated his own flesh; But nourished & theri shed it as himself: He than that hates his wife, is an unnatural monster, and devours his own flesh. He that loveth his wife, loveth himself. We know, how it is in the body. Union of parts causing sameness and uniform subsisting in one, procuring an exceeding tenderness, compassion and sympathy betwixt each member. So that although the foot stumble and give the body a fall, yet a man will not be so mad as to smite it, because its one with itself, and suffers the same fall with it. So here. The sameness of flesh, which the woman hath with the man, makes him natural and sympathising towards her: and not to hurt or hate her in her weakness, and stumblings, but to bear with her, condole her, and count himself to suffer in her; his content, joy and welfare not to stand in himself but in her, who is another self, and therefore to be as willing to wound himself, hurt and hate himself, as to hurt her.  
By virtue of this union, 
Union the root of this tenderness.  and nearness it is, that there ariseth in the spirit of an husband (who is not degenerate,) a marvellous natural and tender instinct of sympathy towards his wife, in all her complaints, and infirmities. She is one with him in all things, one in flesh, one in generation and posterity, one in blessings and welfare, copartner also in all crosses and wants: All these are common: the husband shares with the wi●e, and suffers in all her diseases, pains, trials spiritual and bodily. Self doth ill, and self-love is odious▪ between neighbour and neighbour, yea stranger and stranger: much more between father and child; brother and sister: but most of all in this superlative union of marriage, wherein two bodies may truly be said to be linked into one soul. Here then to affect a singularity, a privacy in so close an union, and for the husband to be a man by himself apart, from her who is one and the same flesh with him, what a podigious self-love is it? union breeds love, and love, sympathy and compassion; but where self-love abides, union and love are absent. And from hence it is, that in another place, the Apostle addeth, 
1 Pet. 3. 7.  giving honour to the woman, as to the weaker vessel: which giving of honour, is nothing else save the peculiar office of the husband to his wife, (and as I may term it, the way of his tenderness) when as he willingly resigns up his manly authority sometimes, and wisely abridgeth himself of that power to the utter most, which else he might usurp over his weaker wife. And in stead thereof, wisely considers, it's the honour of a man sometime to be under himself, to forget his strength: there is a providence, in the government of this vast world, and it stands in the overruling of some inferior creatures, that they may not know their strength over the superior, but be kept within compass (as it were) by a necessary and natural restraint. Even such a voluntary tye hath the Lord put upon the more fierce and rough nature of the male to the female, that there may not only be a consent, from hurting and offending each other; (for so Lions and Wolves agree together) but further, that there might be a virtuous and more generous forbearance of authority over the weak vessel: As acknowledging, the headship of the man is given him not to discourage or destroy: but to direct, benefit and build up the wife. That as God clothes the weaker members with the more honour; so, we should condescend and vouchsafe the like respect to the woman's weakness. Although a proud, and base spirit would hold his own, leaping over the hedge, where it is lowest; yet a wise and understanding head, will of his own accord yield, and give honour and respect unto the woman as to the weaker vessel. Surely if a father be said to spare his own son who fears him: and the Lord will be master even over the Parent, that he be not bitter to his children to tread them under feet, but count it his honour to pass by the corrigible errors of his children: then what should that sparing eye, that indulgent heart and hand, that honour and respectiveness be, whereby God swayeth the husband (being but her equal) towards his yielding and tender wife? And in a word, I say this giving of honour, is the more special way of the man, then of the woman: for though she be so to him, yet in a divers way, and in a more natural kind, as it were according to her frame: for who takes it not for granted that a thing naturally framed to tenderness, should act her own property, and give honour as due desert to the husband? But in the man's giving honour to her, there is a more virtuous and royal disposition, that is, an abatement of the right invested in man, lest excess of right might prove excess of injury? and a yielding of that tenderness and sympathy, out of mercy and love, which else neither perhaps the merit of the wife would require, but to be sure the surlines & roughness of the man would not easily contribute.  
Reas. 1 And, of this, many reasons may be yielded: For why? Is there any thing gained by Austerity and roughness, 
Nothing gained by Austerity.  when the dint thereof returns upon ourselves? Is honour and respect lost upon the wife, when it reflects back from her, upon her husband? Is it not well deserved on God's part, when we not only behold what graces he hath put into the wife, as Treasure into a vessel of earth: but also how little is got by the contrary, when a rough husband too much yielding to that which is corrupt, doth turn edge thereby in his wife, and force her to that which seems to be most disguized & against nature, that is, Reas. 2 to be fierce against the husband? Again, as the Apostle saith; 
Wise folks willingly bear with fools.  Do we not willingly bear with fools, ourselves being wise? And is it not as meet, that we bear with the weak, we ourselves being strong? what a betraying, rather a forfeit of a Masculine (not to speak of a religious,) spirit and a bewraying (not of a feminine, Reas. 3 but) of a brutish & base folly, 
God his Commandment.  is it, when a woman shallbe faint to be are with an husband's seelynesse and frailty, as the stronger with the weaker? what a dishonour is it to marriage? Besides what an obligation doth a religious husband stand in to his yoke-fellow, for infinite many fruits of love & service to him in every kind? Not to speak of that command of God which is above all, tying the husband to his wife for conscience sake, 
We owe it to Christians.  though she should fall short of the duty: as once a good husband said to an undeserving wife, Blessed be God yet who hath given me a wife who will do this or that for me upon never so unkynd terms? But, much more, if she be deserving at his hands, for all her tenderness in sickness and health, is it much, if she receive due honour and respect from him? If thou owe her thine own self again for them, is it much, if thou repay tender esteem & prising of her? If thou oughtest to lay down thy life in some cases even for thy Christian brother, rather than expose him by thine unfaythfulnesse, to danger, how much more shouldst thou expose thyself rather to the greatest hazard, then betray her who is weak, and unable to bear? Remember the precedent whom God sends thee to, the Lord jesus: As he loved his Church, and gave himself for it to the death, that she might escape it, so oughtest thou to redeem thy wife in case of such a danger, when thy bearing will latin the blow from her. When the Lord jesus was taken by the soldiers, If ye seek me (saith he) let these my chickens depart: Take not the dam on the nest with her birds: Let these be free: let all the danger light upon myself. If then this tenderness must extend to life itself, surely then well may this tribute of an inferior rank be showed. But, I cease to discourse the point any further.  
Well then (will some kind husband say) wherein stands this respect and honour which I owe to my wife? 
Wherein this honour and respectiveness consists?  I should be loath to wrong her of aught, which she might plead, (through my ignorance) or which myself (if I knew it) could beteame her? well (in hope there shallbe no love lost) & that thy wife will requite it, when as (in the next point) she shall come to the like trial: I will do her & thee this favour, here to lay out her Privilege, and thy duty. But first it's not amiss again to recognize briefly, that which I spoke of, the model & the Canon of this Duty: which the Apostle lays down thus, 
Ephes 5.  As Christ loved his Church. Before, he had said, He that loveth his wife, 
The true Model and role of tenderness, is the tenderness of Christo his Church.  loveth himself; But, knowing, that self is sometime an ill judge and crooked rule: he amends it, by a better, even the Golden Rule of that honour and respect of Christ towards his Church, which never fails or exceeds the mediocrity. What is then that indulgence & tenderness which thyself wouldst either wish or look for from Christ thy head? Teach thyself, thereby, thy office to thy wife, (in the measure of thy Grace) & tender it to her. Dost thou desire always to be accepted of him, & find grace in his sight? Let thy wife find the like from thee. wouldst thou have him do all thy works in thee and for the? Show thou the like Grace to her, do thou likewise: require not the uttermost service from her, but let her do all in the comfort of thy love & acceptance. wouldst thou have him count all thy deeds, not according to strict law and performance of full measure, but according to sincerity of endeavour? Do thou also so esteem of hers, according to the will and affection whence they proceed, though they fail never so in degree. Wouldst thou have him to esteem thee according to the better and not the worse part? So do thou interpret her. Wouldst thou have him save thee from sorrow? So protect thou her, and let thy love be her banner. Wouldst thou have him to feed, thee, and fight for thee, to be thy Protector and Champion? Should he stave off thine Enemies, and catch their wounds in his own side, which should else light on thee? Wouldst thou have him to stop the mouth of each dog from barking or biting thee, yea even to keep each cold wind from nipping and blasting thee? Even so, stand thou between they wife & her harms, and cover her head in the storm & rain, not only with thy cloak, but thy best protection, against any annoyance. Wouldst thou have Christ afflicted with thee in all thy troubles, to pity thee, suffer with, and sustain thee, by his patience, courage, & long suffering? So, let thy blood run in her veins, and thy marrow in her bones: sustain her like wise by thy meekness, and longsufferance, she is also flesh of thy flesh, and bone of thy bone. Dost thou expect at last, that he should at last redeem thee out of all thy troubles? Dost thou also (as far as lies in thee) seek rest for her from all hers: let no enemy of hers, encounter her alone, but know he hath a double enemy to fight against, noteasy to contest with. Thine are hers, hers are thine; rejoice to see herrid of all, if God see good, which way it seems best to himself to deliver her: mean time, be thou active, passive in all with her. In a word, whatsoever thou wouldst have Christ do for thee, the same do for her, for this doubtless is to be conformed to thine head, and to do the part of an honouring and respective husband to her.  
These generals had need be branched out into some particulars: else perhaps, 
Particulars of the husband's Tenderness.  it will not be easy for every one to conceive them. These therefore that follow may serve. First, let this respect begin at her soul: procure to that, the chief good, that it may far well. The tender love of Christ stands in this, that he gave himself for the Church; why? Not to make her such as she herself would, 
Branch 1.  not to give her the full swinge and sway of her own will; 
Tenderness to the soul of the wife the first duty of the husband.  But, to wash her, to purge her, to sanctify her, as peculiar to himself, having neither spot, nor wrinkle; So do thou: begin with this, and this shall guide all the rest: Think not this to be thy tenderness to thy wife, to deal by her as David by Adonija, whom his father would never from his youth, speak a wry unto, that is, ask him, what dost thou? But rather in this is thy tenderness, if by any ways of God, allurements, yea mild and well seasoned reproofs (if need be) thou mayst be an instrument of her good. It's not tenderness, but exceeding and degenerate softness in an husband, that, because his wife is well pleasing to him in some carriages, therefore he should rather suffer her to go on in deep ignorance of God, and herself, and go the broad way to perdition, rather than he would grieve her, or speak one word amiss: especially, to be so base and remiss, that, when he knows he might win her by his loving tenderness, he should rather neglect her by his Carelessness, No, if thou be tender truly, her soul willbe thy principal object, and thou wilt present to her those tender mercies of Christ, those bowels of compassion in him to the church: never linen till Christ hath by his blood washed her soul from the natural uncleanness of it, forgiven her, and taken away her guilt and blemishes. If her face were stained with some spots, how studious would he be to tell her of them, that she might wash them off? how much more that Christ jesus might call her his Hephziba and Beulah: 
Isa. 62. 4.  his dove, fair one, and preciously beloved? that he might behold her washed and clean (as the sheep coming from the rivers to shearing) from her scurf, accepted of God, and (as much as flesh may be) without spot or wrinkle, either of guilt, or apparent corruption: a vessel purged and prepared for every good work. No work so honourable as this to make thy wife a vessel of honour to God first, and then for marriage. Thus Paul describes that tenderness of Christ: and yet, that washing and rinsing of her, must cost some hardness, save that Mercy and love oversweetens it: and then it will seem pleasant. Nourish and cherish and hate not thy own flesh, in this first respect, 
2. Sam. 13. 3.  as nathan's lamb, in the true bosom of the Lord jesus, the tenderest husband that ever was.  
Secondly, 
Branch. 2.  this thy Respect and Tenderness must reach to her person, 
Tenderness to the Person of the Wife necessary.  and that in her Safeguard and Defence. Thy wife walks (under God) in the shadow of thy wings and protection. Thou must be as a veil to her eye, to keep off the dint of all lust and strange desires, as Abimelec told Sara of Abraham: As the eyelid is made by nature a tender film and very mooveable, and watchful to the body of the eye, that no dust or mote fall into it to offend it; so must the tender husband come between the least aspersion of reproach and infamy cast upon the name of his wife wrongfully: And when thou art dead, let her rest safe in the Ark of God's protection, by the benefit of thy living prayers, before sent up for her, 
In protection.  to the throne of grace, that God would be an husband to the widow; that so even when dead, yet thou mayst speak. But, while thou art living, thou must be as a wall of fire to her; let every one that hath ill will to thy wife, (as many will have, even for that which deserves honour) know that they malign thyself; Nay, herein love her better than thyself that thou wiltright some wrongs done to her, which perhaps (if done to thyself) thou wouldst pass by more strongly: Let her Name and honour, be as sweet ointment unto thee. The husband who shall content himself in the general love of his wife, being yet supinely negligent of her repute, or enduring any, 
In her repute.  within doors or without to disesteem her, without sharp rebuke: or to be known himself to see any of her weaknesses, with the least contempt, is not worthy to have the comfort of her virtues, or the love of a religious companion. The like I say of her body, both in health and sickness. Whatsoever diet, or warmth or shelter, either at home, 
In her bodily in firmities.  or abroad, by thyself or others, thou seest necessary for the preserving her in health and vigour, from the least assault, or impression, that neglect not: keep away wether, distemper, disease for her: be as a Physician according to the discretion thou hast, and the knowledge of her bodily frame and infirmities, in the absence of better help; Prevent all dangers from her which possibly might assault her; and what soever sorrow or sad news, ill and sudden accidents thou deemest, would disquiet her, turn them away if it be within thy power, or keep them from her notice, lest they might overthrow her spirit, or weaken her body. Yea, as our Lord jesus did, so do thou, if a danger must needs cease upon thee, provide it may not come to her knowledge, or as little amaze and affright her, as may be. In her diseasednesse, neglect no means, which either thy counsel, purse, or friends can help her to: advise for soul, physic for body, attendance and nursery to person: Grudge not that she lies upon thine hand, But, as thou wouldst have (I say not her, but) Christ himself to tender thee in thine, so do thou her, in her defects. 
2. King. 4. 21.  Let it appear to her clearly that her life is precious, and her loss would be uncomfortable. If the poor Shunamite, seeing her child dead, locked it up in the Chamber, hasting to the Prophet: proventing all pother to her husband, aldisquiet in the family, by taking it upon herself; how much more should the husband's wisdom and tenderness reach to thy wife, that no Sickness or Sorrow might ever cease upon her more deeply, then needs must, if thou canst keep it off.  
Say not with unnatural Nabals, 
Unnatural husband's language.  Thou tookest her not for sickness, but for health: for better not for worse: knowing that good wives in their health, lay up desert enough to be tendered in their sickness: The wife is not for nothing said to be under her husband's covert. Do thou as Boaz did to poor Ruth, upon the cold floor, & in the i'll night▪ spread the lap of thy garment over thy beloved; 
Ruth. 3. 9  I charge you (saith the husband in the Canticles) O ye daughters of jerusalem, 
Cant. 2. 7.  watch by my spouse, sit by her and keep silence, wake her not until she please. Good reason she have more rest then thou, let thy waking be her security, gaster her not up too early: sluggish women will not, good ones should not be waked too soon. She is always in grief, & that for thee, & by thy means; what day week, month is she free through the year, breeding, bearing, nursing, watching her babes, both sick that they might be well, 
Description of the husband's tenderness to the person of his wife.  and well, lest they be sick: If she lose a child by the hand of God, or by casualty, her tender heart takes more thought for it in a day, than thy manly spirit can in a month: the sorrow of all lies upon her: She had need to be eased of all that is easeable, because she cannot be eased of the rest. We read in the fable that the male sparrow once accused the female, for that she did not so much take pains in building of their nest, as he did: But she replied, There was cause why she should plead exemption: She had all the trouble of laying the eggs, of sitting, of hatching & feeding them, and therefore some reason she should be spared in the building of the nest, let him do that, who did nothing else, and she prevailed. And shall not she, who allegeth for herself, with more reason? Get her asleep if thou can, but awake her not, till she please. And, tell me, shall not her ease be thine? Or canst thou have any, if she want? Little dost thou think of those gripe, checks & pangs wherewith she walketh, when as thou goest through stitch with thy matters with an hardy courage. If all wives be not so, I speak not so much in their behalf: but the good wife is usually so; yield her this fruit of tenderness, it's all the milk thou givest. Yea, let thy hollow cheeks, pale face, sad heart, be as a Calendar, in which others may read thy wife's infirmities, their number, their measure, and how long they have continued. I speak not Rhetoric unto thee, 
Two extremes of Tenderns.  but Divinity: As and husband must loathe uxoriousness, 
Viz, Roughness Vxoriousnes.  so, much more Stoical insensibleness, remembering who it is, who saith, Err in her love: let thy soul know no other objects while she lives, let them be abhorred. And when she hath breathed out her last, yea, even when she lies by the walls, yea in the moulds, yet then is there another honour due to her memory, when she is not: even this, that thy hand be upon thy side for the loss of another rib, thy sweet companion; Mourn not for her without hope, like an heathen, (she is not lost, but sent before) but yet as Abraham, as Jacob, so mourn thou, even till the days thereof be accomplished: Be not as the horse, as the Fruit Creature, without sense of her worth, thy loss: Else some beasts will exceed thee in tenderness: thou art worse; a very block: And for this second particular so much.  
Thirdly, 
Branch 3.  show this respect in thine ingenuity and open-heartedness. It's an unkindness alone, 
Ingenuity and openheartednesse.  not to show love: to walk overloosely, dismally, and darkly towards her. Thou canst do no more to a stranger. I say not that she is capable of all secrets. There is a season for all things. And had Samson been as wise at last, as at first to conceal his secrets, he had done wisely. But there is a golden mean: conceal not thyself too far from her. Impart whatsoever is meet, let her know the difficulty of thy business, if the knowing it may either afford her content, or thyself advise. Let not strangers tell her of thy follies, to cause her to suspect thy respectiveness: 
Josh. 6. 8.  She is but simple, that may not speak a word in season: Rams horns, and empty pitchers have conquered cities, 
2. Sam. 20. 18.  and armies: and the woman that called herself but a weak one, once delivered Abel: and why may not thy wives help thee! It's no wrong to thee, for her to desire a voice in thine affairs, who must be sure to smart in thy bad success. There is (I say again) a discretion in ordering this business. Neither to impart those things wherein grief would overcome acceptance; nor to conceal such, as wherein by thy imparting them, either her counsel might overweigh her grief, or at least, prevent the suddenness of a disaster. It's a thing wherein the weak sex counts itself graced and satisfied, not to be made a stranger to those things, which love and ingenuity would and should impart. As for uttering any thing, which is needless, or might be a snare to her indiscretion and weakness, it's better kept a way. But, darkness breeds ill blood of jealousy, hard thoughts, a striving for the like darkness of behaviour, or to seek other bosoms to lay her complaints in, when thou little thinkest of it, and perhaps worse than all these. She is laid in thy bosom by God, that thy bosom thoughts, hopes, fears, desires, together with thyself, might lie in hers: So for this third.  
Fourthly, 
Branch 4.  comfort her in all her heaviness, and first for her soul and spirit; 
Comfort in heaviness another piece of tenderness.  The anguish thereof, and the wound of conscience, is of all other, most intolerable. Yea, though it be only some outward grief, yet if pierce the spirit with any more than common distemper, it exceeds any sickness & empair of the body. Show thyself more tender to her therein, then in all common troubles. If thine own wisdom, faith or experience will not serve to heal it, seek out, and inquire after an Interpreter, one of a thousand, who may rightly and duly weigh her estate, both the causes and effects thereof. Vpbrayde her not with her zeal, which were to aggravate her disease. Fret not at her going to Sermons; lay not the fault upon that, wishing thou hadst never seen her eyes, quarrel not at thy lot, accuse not providence, because thou seest her in perplexities: perhaps God hath begun with her, that he might end with thee. But however, lin not using all means, till God have spoken a word in season to her very soul, saying, Deliver her, I have accepted a Ransom: till her flesh come again, as a little child's, and she recover peace. Happy art thou, 
job. 33 24.  if God shall so make thee an instrument of her good that thyself also mayst be drawn nearer to God by affliction, than prosperity could ever have brought thee. And, put case that the distemper cease only upon her natural spirit, as by Melancholy, through passions of fear, and sorrowful objects working upon her mind, or through some hereditary proneness of constitution to mopishnes and discontent; by all which God cuts her short of wont liberties, calling and service of marriage, and thee from former contens of life: be not in these disquiet and impatient: Nothing hath befallen thee which is not according to man: use the best means of restoring her spirit again, by Physic, counsel, wise secrecy, custody, tenderness of regard: and so wait with patience, till God restore her, or what ever be the issue, charge not God foolishly.  
Fifthly spare her weak body, 
Branch. 5.  from all toil and labour of worldly employment exceeding her ability: 
Spare her from excess of toil▪  yea although she should be too much addicted thereto, and hardly held therefrom, yet dissuade her: She is thine own flesh: thou wouldst think him unmerifull, who should break thy back with too great a burden. So do thou, and ease her. If nursery exceed her strength, & yet her conscience will scarce permit her to lay aside and free herself of so natural, so religious a work, yet tell her, God loves mercy better than sacrifice: If God deny her ability, or breasts, grudge not at God, at the charge of nursery abroad, to ease her at home. If she have not strength to be both wife and servant, let the latter yield to the former, redeem the comfort of a wife, with the charge of a servant. Provide her that assistance and attendance, which is meet for one, who chooseth to be, to do all in one for thy sake, had not God denied her. Strong shoulders are meeter for household business, than decayed ones: and relieve her with seasonable tenderness, for there is a show of respect which appears all at once, when the vitals are spent: a penny cost in due time, will do more good to a sinking house, than a pound, when it is ready to fall down. So she shall hold out the longer with cheerfulness in marriage duties: He that should do otherwise, were not worthy to have a free horse, much less a willing wife.  
Sixthly, 
Branch 6.  yield her the indulgence of all decent and sober refresh, 
Indugence in all lawful refresh.  and recreations of body and spirit, which may ease the tediousness of body and spirit, through the uncessant and never ceasing yoke of family businesses. Remember how oft, her faithful biding by it at home, hath enlarged thee to travail abroad. Thy ground and soil, if it want her alternal revivings, and rests, cannot last long: whether by allowing her the converse of her friends for bodily, or of the ordinances (when she is straitened) both changes of airs may do well, and help both body and spirit. At other times, some other releases of labour, such as occasion offers in many kinds, either nearer hand, or further off, eft one, eft another, may cause her to return to that service with alacrity, which else she should attend with an unequal mind.  
Seventhly, 
Branch 7.  connive and conceal with wisdom those invincible defects, 
Connivance at invincible infirmities.  ignorances', yea though it be uncapableness, which either the frailty of her sex, or the special frame of her mind, or perhaps the inexperience of one untrained in some business, may produce. A Camel cannot go through a needle's eye. According to her strength, so is she: look for no deed, beyond power, nor wisdom above capacity. Oppose unto her invincible blemishes, her incomparable graces: which no art, nor nature can attain; no flesh and blood can teach. Satisfy not, neither pardon thyself, till that honour which thine heart can freely give her for that which is precious in her, make thee impotent to disparage her for her infirmities. Though perhaps others would note them, yet it's thy best art to hide them. Remember this, perhaps, even thy wife's defects may make for thy contents. If she were a more complete woman, she would find more work to be humble; and in some of her abilities, might perhaps give thee occasion of less patience. Here now is the trial of giving honour to the weaker sex; because God will have it so. Dissemble what thou canst not amend: Ofttimes, her sudden treafnes, or impatience come not so much from herself, as from oppression of mind, faintness of spirits and much employment. Encounter her not with like passion, lest God show thee thy folly, ere thou die, in another more unwelcome glass. Many a foolish husband hath a froward wife, because he will have one, hath not the wit to have any other, any better. What an honour were it to thy wisdom to bear with her confessed weakness? as going backward with Shem and Japhet to cover that from the eyes of others, which thyself art sorry to see. Perhaps some other of her qualities have not a little graced thee, cover therefore the rest with the mantle of thy wisdom. And so perhaps, with that painter, by veiling a blemish in the face, which he was loath to express, thou shalt add to her beauty, to thy own honour. When her passion shall be over, and her error past, she will more dislike herself through thy concealing of her wants, than thou canst dislike her for betraying thy credit.  
Eightly, 
Branch 8.  commend her virtues, without foolish flattery: not as a man, 
Commend her virtues.  who therefore marks them, that he might praise them, (which is baseness) but therefore commends them, because tenderness will not suffer thee to smother them. Grace can no more be covered, than a blemish: both are as oil in the hand, Inward gifts, outward parts and performances cannot but delight thy mind, and senses: let both in their season, for her encouragement, break out from thee, by a tender, loving acknowledgement. But as for upbraiding her before others, or traducing her in the family by open reproofs, odious comparisons, unsavoury imputations; abhor it. Knowing that all thine and her skill, is little enough to keep her from contempt of inferiors: but if thy contempt be added to the rest, it will make a breach, not to be repaired.  
Ninthly, 
Branch 9  allow her all needful, and some complemental charges and supplies: 
Supply of necessaries and comfortable supports.  let her have for comfort, as well as necessity; considering how soon thyself wouldst repine, if God should straiten thee with the only necessaries, but not the overplus of Marriage comforts. It's not only thankfulness to her, but to God also, to rejoice in seeing thy wife walk and demean herself cheerfully, in the use of that liberal allowance, which thy tender heart can beteame her. I do not here bid thee put the bridle out of thine own hand, yielding to her the stroke of choosing to herself the fashions, attire, company, and expenses, which she pleaseth, such as suit not with thy place, and sober content: (for alas! what poor thank should a woman give her huband, for making her as proud as the worst) but I say, furnish her with such conveniences as thine own judgement and respect thinks meet for her, and her sober mind and desires affect. M. Calvin, a man otherwise of some what a retired and austere disposition, yet being married, perceived that there be in women, (as he prettily calls them) many tolerable follies and toyish vanities, which a tender husband should do better to oversee then deny her. He that will needs wring his nose too hard, will draw forth blood, and there is a genial liberty to be permitted to a woman's liberties, companies, merriments, toys and trinkets, which the gravity of an husband should shame itself in peering into. Many trifles they affect for their children (of that sex especially) many compliments about themselves, some rearedges to bestow upon the meetings and lawful merriments of their kind, which it were a poor thing for an husband curiously to inquire after: and his wisdom to be trust her with, as knowing, she knoweth how to use them. (Perhaps the French exceeded the English in these) But let this be the rule, Better in such a case, wherein the spirit of a wife takes content, to be rather indulgent, then too strict: so long as the main Canon of Modesty, thrift and deceny, be not transgressed.  
Lastly, 
Branch. 10.  since rules in such cases can hardly be given, therefore as the moral Philosopher bids, 
Respectiveness must be the Counsellor.  do in this case, as Tenderness and a Respective heart would advise. That's ever the best counsellor. Remember, thou seek'st the honour of thy Marriage. Wherefore, whatseover else is meet, loving, merciful, forbearing and tender, as thou expectest praise, honour, or requital, ensue it: give no way to strict, unbeteaming, violent ways. He that handles a Crystal or Venice glass harshly, deserves to repent him for breaking that, which sleight and tenderness might have saved. Precedency in sitting is granted by an national custom to the sex of women: by which, all other privileges of giving honour and content to the weaker vessel, are intimated. A wise resigning up to her custody of things within, jewels, plate, and things of price, trusting her fidelity, and ascribing to her wisdom the overseeing and menaging of domestical affairs incident to housewifery, without narrow, suspicious inquiry after the expense thereof, not distrusting skill or faithfulness: & so in like cases. And thus much be said in particular, for the answer to this question, wherein this Tenderness consists.  
Use. That which I have said in Doctrine, may serve for use and all: 
Terror to all base Nabals, and a description of such.  save that its true which Solomon speaks, Bray a fool in a mortar, with a pestle, yet, will not his folly depart from him. So I say, a churlish, a froward, loutish and ungeniall husband, will either see no error at all, in himself, by all that I have said, or hold his own nevertheless. I have seen an evil under the sun, Nabal married to an Abigail, a tender sweet companion, worthy of such an husband as her husband himself is unworthy to wait upon: yet so far is he from returning to her like for like, that rather the grace of the wife is a continual upbraiding to the husband's currishness; occasioning to his implacable spirit so much the more insolency, to insult over her, and to tread her under his feet. What sand is so weighty to the shoulders, as such a fool to a worthy wife? well worthy after her death and loss, to meet with lettuce fit for his lips, I mean with such a contentions Zippora, as might outshoote such a Devil in his own bow. What one grace of a thousand doth such a block behold in his virtuous wife? when did he ever feel himself burn if she were weak? What affliction of body or mind could he ever find in his heart to condole for his wife? What one kid gave he at any time to her out of his flock, or twelve pence out of his purse, to make merry withal? what one lap of his garment did he ever spread over her! Or what, I say not blast of cold wind, but sad cross did he ever keep in tenderness from her? himself being both a nipping East wind to blast her hopes, and a perpetual dropping, to dwell with? Many an infamy and blot hath he suffered to light upon her head, though he needed not, himself being the upshot of all! Oh the snares which such unnatural wretches bring upon innocent women, but ease them of none! Oh the narrow eye they carry over them, watching them as the Cat the mouse, from either good Sermon hearing, loving friends, frequenting abroad, or Christian company at home! Stripping their bodies of good clothes, their purses of money, their hearts of delight, their souls of grace (as much as in them lies,) if grace were not past their reach to rob them of! what one penny ever gave they them for good use? If they knew of any, who should endure the tempest of their violence, they will see their own turns served to the uttermost: But as for easing them of their burdens or being drawn to resign up their lusts and loose liberties, to join with their wives, in the burden of house government: those Israelitish bondmen were as good complain to Pharaoh, or those other subjects to R●hoboam, as they to their husbands, for their tale of brick should be but multiplied, & their fingers should prove heavier then their loins before. I might be endless: But, I blame only the faulty, for I know (and God forbid else) all are not alike. Many, not only irreligious, 
Counsel to the wronged party.  but merely civil ignorant ones, have had tender, melting hearts to their wyves; so unnatural wretches, are all unmerciful, respectless husbands in this kind, even bred upon the rocks, and nursed up by Tigers, yea fiends in the likeness of men. Let them alone: but O thou woman that fearest God, persist nevertheless in thy uprightness! serve God not man, and vile man for God's sake? do not repent thee of thy goodness, give thy work to God, & still heap up hot coals upon the head of the Barbarous, if they melt not they shall burn to hell, & bear a while, he that cometh, will come, & not tarry, causing thy light to break out as the morning and thy Righteousness as the noon day. He shall plead the cause of the despised wife, and quit her of her adversary: bringing his wickedness upon his own pate. And of this third several duty of giving honour, and so of all the three, thus much be spoken.   

CHAP. XIII.  
Treats of the personal duties of the wife. Ana first of her Subjection to her husband.  
IT is high time now, 
The special duties of the wife to the husband three  having dispatched the husband's duties, to proceed to the next branch in which the preserving of Matrimonial Honour consists, to wit, the peculiar duties of the wife to the husband. Else I know husbands would tax me for partiality: and I confess, as I have no cause to conceal the privileges of the good wife from her husband, so neither must I withhold from her the knowledge of her offices and services towards him. The first and main whereof, comprehending all the rest, is subjection to her husband: the second is helpfulness: & the third gracefulness. By her subjection she answers his understanding: By her helpfulness, she equals his providence, by her gracefulness she supplies his tender respectiveness: in a word, she answers him (as face to face in water) so she in marriage service with all correspondence. Else how shall the relation hold firm and entire? 
The first Duty of the wife, Subjection.  First then of the first; This duty then of subjection, is the woman's great and chief commandment; 
The first Duty of the wife, Subjection.  and as St. james saith, he that can rule his tongne, is a perfect man, & can rule his whole conversation: so, she who hath learned to be subject (for as Paul Philip. 4. is not ashamed to say of that grace of contentation, that he had learned it, so may the woman say of this) is a perfect woman. That, which was wont to be said of prounciation in Rhetoric, and of humility, in Divinity, that may be said of Subjection in this business of the wife, Its breadth, and length, it fills up all, yea, it's all in all the whole duty of the woman: all other stick at this, grant this, and all other follow of themselves. Now then, this great duty of subjection, (so much cavild at by the Rebellious, & so much honoured by the dutiful and loyal wife) must have a good foundation, both for the convincement of the bad, and for the encouragement of the good. The warrant then of this duty stands not in the opinion, choice or will of man, or flesh, no nor of nations, because the world will have it so. (for there is a world of women to gainsay as well as of men to allege it.) But it is a firm law, from the will of the first ordeyner; because God will have it so. That very strict Imperial Edict of Ahashuerosh, that, 
Ester. 1. 24.  Every man should bear rule in his own house, proceeded in a sort from a discontent with Vashti, & a desire to be revenged for the dishonour offered Ahashuerosh her husband, and for prevention of the like, for time to come: But if all this stream of Authority had not met with another more strong one of divine Ordinance, alas it had been no more terror to the sex of women, than swords and spears to the Whale's skin, even as stubble and rotten wood. No, no, it's an instinct put into the spirit of the woman, principling and convincing her understanding, will and affections, viz. The great God of heaven and earth will have it so.  
Reasons. 1 Whereof two reasons may be given: the one from the law of creation; the other from the law of Penalty, following disobedience. For the first, The man (we know) was first created, as a perfect Creature, and not the woman with him at 〈…〉, as we know both sexes of all other 〈…〉 not so here. But, after his constitution and frame ended, then was she thought of. Secondly, she was not made of the same matter with the man equally; but she was made and framed of the man, by a rib taken from the man, and being form by God, into a woman, was brought unto the man. And thirdly, she was made for the mans use and benefit, 
1 Cor. 11. 8. 9  as a meet helper, when no other creature besides her was not able to do it. Three weighty reasons and grounds of the woman's subjection to the man: and that, from the purpose of the Creator; who else might have done otherwise, that is, yielded to the woman coequal beginning, sameness of generation, or relation of usefulness: For, he might have made her without any such precedency of matter, without any dependency upon him, and equally for her good, as for his. All show a kind of ennobling the man's sex, and denying of her to him, as the head, and more excellent: not that the man might upbraid her, but that she might in all these, read her lesson of subjection. For otherwise, it's also true, that neither the man without the woman, nor she without him, 
Mal. 2. 15.  but both in the Lord. And doubtless as Malachi speaks, herein is wisdom, for God was full of spirit; and hath left nothing after him, to be bettered by our invention.  
Reas. 2 The second warrant hereof is penal, and yet so much the stronglier tying the woman, 
From the penalty of disobedience.  being now in a fallen condition. For this is sure, that (notwithstanding all I have said) yet the woman being so created by God in the integrity of nature had a most divine honour and partnership of his image, put upon her in her creation: yea such as (without prejudice of those three respects) might have held full and sweet correspondence with her husband. But, her sin still augmented her inequality, and brought her lower and lower in her prerogative. For, since she would take upon her as a woman without respect to the order, dependence, and use of her creation, to enterprise so sad a business, as to jangle and demur with the devil about so weighty a point as her husband's freehold, and of her own brain to lay him and it under foot, without the least parley and consent of his: Obeying Satan before him, nay God himself; so that, till she had put all beyond question, and past amendment, and eaten, she brought not the fruit to him to eat, and so, became a devil to tempt him to eat; therefore the Lord strips her of this robe of her honour, 
Gen. 3. 16.  accursing her with this penalty, that her appetite should be to her husband. Which law is not as the law of the Medes and Persians, (for that must alter) but a Law which bred a Law, an instinct of unequal inferiority, and smote into the heart of Eve, a falling from her station, and subjected her to her husband. This appetite here spoken of, not only meaning her weakness of desire for some special end, as benevolence, respect, or the like; but the total subduing of the bent of her spirit to him, not thinking her subsisting enough without him, but a confessed yielding up of her insufficient self (and that after a penal sort) to depend wholly upon him. A just hand of God upon her, that she who would be Paramount as a Lady above him, in sinning: should be fetched down to a spirit of fear and subjection under him whom she had so basely dishonoured.  
And from this root comes that of the Apostle, 
roofs.  that the woman sinned, 
1 Tim. 2. 13.  and not the man, (meaning, not first) she was in the transgression: and what then? Therefore let her be subject. 
1 Cor. 11. 7.  Read the place. The man is the glory of God, but the woman of the man: Therefore she ought to have power on her head, in token of subjection and modesty. And again, I permit not the woman to usurp authority over the man, but to be in subjection. 
1 Pet. 3. 1.  And Saint Peter, let the women be subject to their own husbands, lest the word be evil spoken of. 
Ephes. 5. 21.  And to the Ephesians. Wives submit yourselves to your husbands, as to your head: for he is as Christ to the Church, the saviour of his body. 
1 Pet. 3. 5. 6.  So Peter adds, As those holy women formerly were in subjection to their husbands: Sara by name to Abraham, calling him Lord: By all these arguments these two Apostles (not the one who was married, but the other unmarried) do conclude the woman under subjection; that without grudging, she might resign up herself (under God) to her husband. And doubtless, if it be asked, by what commandment this subjection of the wife stands in force, it's doubtless by the virtue of that fifth, which imposes obedience upon inferiors to their superiors (although in divers degrees) with an implied penalty of disobedience. And questionless, if look no further, than the sin and curse itself, in the letter thereof, there is no less threatened to the woman then such a subjection to the man, as had pain and irking annexed unto it. Even as that other penalty also annexed unto it, of breeding and travail, extends to a mortal pain and pinch, as considered in itself. In itself I say: for notwithstanding all this, the Lord our merciful and indulgent father, in and through the mediation of Christ, hath in great favour assuaged and released the rigour and measure of these penalties, I have else where treated hereof. If the common favour of Christ our Redeemer, 
Ca●ech. in part. 1. and 3. article.  had not eased whole mankind from the excess of all sorts of penalties, what were the life of man, but desolation and misery? But in mere pity to the accursed creature, weltering under her punishment, as a man wounded lies wallowing in his blood, the Lord jesus hath brought things to a Reconcilement, both in heaven and earth. So, that the heavens hear the earth, 
Colos. 1. ●0.  the earth the creatures, and they man: who else should subsist. 
Hos. 2. 21. 2●.  If the Ox, Horse, Ass, and other beasts, which by man's sin are of subjects, turned rebels against him, and bereft him of his Lordship, were not again retracted to some useful subjection, who should come near them? But now their rebellion to us is moderated, and a shadow of our Lordship over them restored, not to the godly only, but wholly to the nature of man: 
He hath recollected all things both in heaven and earth by Christ.  by whose industry, the wildest are tamed. I say, by a common fruit of the superabounding merit of Christ. Such is the release of this penalty of women: for though for their abusing the end of their creation by hurting & destroying him, whose helpers they were created to be; the Lord abased them to a low degree of inferiority to the man, 
Col. 1. 20.  and that justly: yet through Christ, this extremity is dispensed with, and reduced to a tolerable mediocrity for the ease of womankind. So that God can make that a royal and honourable equality (after a sort) which sin made a yoke of tedious slavery. But to the Elect it's far better; Notwithstanding, through bearing of Children, she shallbe saved, if she continue in faith, holiness, and modesty: that is, her curse becomes a blessed occasion of salvation. So in this point of subjection: it be comes an wholesome mean to humble the soul under the mighty hand of God, and the guilt of her nature, and so to drive her to Christ. And not so alone, but is a continual holder down of her soul under subjection to God, in the course of her conversation. And both make her in this religious awe and subjection to her husband, so much the more precious in the eye of God, and all that know her. Lo a penalty made an ornament, very highly esteemed of God. And as for those women, who fear not God, 
Pet 3. 4.  yet this indulgence of providence, if it be not a mean to break their hearts, and to seek further to get a part in Christ's peculiar redemption of the Elect: it shallbe (doubtless) a double aggravating of their condemnation.  
Reas. 3 Now for the third reason of the point, why the woman should for her part do to the uttermost to grace & improve the married condition, 
Hereby she preserves the honour of her marriage.  by being subject to her husband, appears by this, that by subjections she preserves the honour of her marriage in the integrity thereof. She is called the crown of her husband. The Crown Royal we know, is a rich thing, and richly beset: all to honour a true King, when it's set upon his head in his coronation, before all the people. But a woman made of subjection, is of a far more precious frame and mettle than a Crown, or any thing which goes to it: and being set upon the head of her husband, honoureth him, not only in the day of his marriage, but all his life long, in the eyes of all that behold her. No crown glads the heart of a King, so as she makes glad the heart of her husband. He is her King and Lord, though he should want this Crown; for it's not a wife's rebellion, which can divest him of his authority, and honour, in point of right: he may he a poor pitied King, for lack of this Crown, but in right, he is a King nevertheless: having his Crown detained by violence from him, and woe to them that detain the Crown from the natural Prince: exposing the person of so sacred an one (whom God hath made honourable) to reproach and dishonour; So here. God will revenge it, and make her that hath kept it back, to rue it, and to pay full dear for her presumption. But when this Crown is added to the head of a lawful King, then is his honour made up to the full; & such honour is a wife subject to her husband. Not as a Crown above but upon his head: her honour is not in being a Crown aloft, but upon & for the husband; She is no Crown of herself, but in respect of him whom she honours: receving back as much honour from that head which she Crowns, as she affords unto it. Neither, is the honour of such a marriage between themsel. alone, (for honour is rather in the power of the honourer, than the honoured) but also it reacheth to many others; 
Ruth. 3. 11.  we see it in Ruth married to B●az. All the children of my people, knoweth thee to be a virtuous woman, and him an happy husband in her, praying for them (as indeed it fell out) that they might do well in Ephratha, & be famous in Bethlem. How can a marriage between an understanding head and a subject wife, choose but be honourable? who can smother the honour of such Couples, or judge whether of the two, is more successful in either? or who wisheth not, it were his own case, or the case of any whom he loveth, to be married to a wife so qualified? And well they may; for as it is rare to meet with such couples, so, the Commodity which they procure each to other, exceeds all commendation. All this considered, a woman should be much too blame to desert her duty in this case, and to lay the honour of her Marriage in the dust.  
What is then this subjection, 
Subjection what it is?  and wherein stands it? For the former I say its such a convincement of spirit in the woman touching the equity of God's ordinance, (and her Penalty in special:) as causeth, both a falling down of heart in humility to God, and her husband; and in her conversation to acknowledge & practice all such reverence, as be cometh her head. By this description, it may appear, in what particulars this subjection stands: to wit, chiefly in the spirit of the wife, 
Subjection twofold.  and nextly in her demeanour, The former is that same, whereof St. Peter speaks of. 
1. Pet. 3 4.  The meekness of the hidden man of the heart, of an incorrupt and quiet spirit, which with God is much set by. He meaneth an inward principle of subjection of the heart, 
Of the spirit.  which is first given up to God, purged of self and Pride, (the seed of unsubjection) and then to the husband, for his sake. Although a woman have all outward accomplishments this way, yet, if her outward subjection begins before her inward (as many women's doth) it will vanish at last, as a lamp for lack of oil. No framing of a woman, by most exquisite education, outward forming of the body to delicate behaviour and semblance of subjection, can compass this, no more than an Ape can attain the qualification of Reason. No artificial respectiveness of the eye, the courtesy of body, the silence or composure of the tongue, or the like, can secure an husband of subjection, except all these be acted from an heart of subjection, through the conscience of the duty. But, if the principle be sound, and an heart fearing God, awed by a command, issuing from Christ his love & a willing mind, not from necessity, credit, or restraint (which will go far, & make a great show) then is this duty well planted, & will endure. What is all that Mi●olls bewitching love to David, (which forced him to send for her long after her separation) to that one baseness, 
2. Sam. 6. 20.  That she despised him in her heart? The woman then, must set up her husband there, and shrine him in the secret of her heart; and then, all her external subjection will flow sweetly, fully, constantly, without grudging, and sit comely as a garment fit for the body.  
Object. But, it willbe objected, There is no rule so general, but it admits exception. Women confess, that, as the case may stand, and as the husband may deserve by his great learning, wisdom, gifts, grace, art, experience, or like abilities, some woman might be content to resign up herself to her husband, and be subject to him, as to her head. But, as for ordinary husbands, whose deserts are small, and their defects great, (perhaps in some, or in most respects mentioned) it would prove an hard task for a woman so far to deny herself, Answer. as to be subject. To which I answer, God is not the God of confusion; 
Husbands though but mean parted, deserve subjection by the Ordinance.  he puts this burden of subjection upon no woman, who takes not the yoke of marriage upon herself; which the Lord doth force upon none, but allows each woman, to be her own Refuser, and to choose for herself (if she can) such a man, as she can yield subjection unto, for the excellency of God's image which she beholds in him. And there is no more than needs, in this caution, to prevent that base and carnal disdain, which else might arise in her heart, against her husband, to wit, when she shall meet with an object of dishonour, and find little to provoke due respect towards him: I say, the Lord, who knows, that the spirit that is in man lusts after envy and scorn, would have this disease prevented to the uttermost, that so subjection might seem not to come from necessity, but from free will. But yet, still I say, if a woman will balk such a command, and, either out of a present humour, or out of a carnal conceit (at first) that she can lead and rule a simple man at her pleasure (which after she finds an harder Theme than she wist) shall snare herself with such an husband as she cannot deem worthy of the honour of her heart: in this case, I will wonder that she would snare herself with such a one: but being married to her, I will press upon her, the like duty of subjection, as if he were the most complete husband of a thousand: like (I say) for kind, although not for measure. For, tell me, poor woman, who thus cavillest, what is it, which God hath aimed at in this Ordinance? at thine own ends, or his own? and thy husbands? Art thou, so simple, as to imagine, when God hath imposed a yoke upon thee, to tame thy Rebellion; that he will (at thy instance) turn it to a Contentment of thy selflove? what singular thing dost thou in submitting thyself to excellencies and parts in an husband? Is it not for thyself! And who shall find out such an husband for thee, whom thou mayst not except against, as defective in some kind or other? Know then, that God hath ordained subjection to an husband, as an husband, b●e he what he may (he is such an one as thou hast though fit) and therefore one whom God hath thought fit to receive thy subjection. If he have but indifferent parts, and abilities, and not many men's gifts united in one, then consider, he hath but the defects of one. And who art thou, O woman, hast thou the perfections of many women? Therefore look upon thine own defects, and thy husbands willbe overseen. Count thine own parts but ordinary, and thine husbands will be tolerable. Enlarge his a little, and diminish thine own, and so thou shalt meet in the half way, and make some equality. But howsoever, God hath set thee in place of subjection, howsoever: either to a man of worth, for his desert, or to a man worthless, for conscience sake, and for the sake of him who hath subjected thee. If thou obey for a Command sake, there is thank, or if not, then for necessity sake, and woe to thee in both respects, if thou be not subject. A Minister is commanded to preach and watch for Conscience sake, not for living, or by Respects: A subject hath not that name for that he obeys those Laws of his Prince which please him, but because his Prince Commands, except he will endure the penalties annexed: If then either a Minister, or Subject will look at God, whether gain or no gain, whether good Prince or unjust, and obey, or else woe to both: then look also thou woman at the bare command of God; dispense not thou where God doth not. The same power that is in Commanding all to obey their Parents, forbidding all to worship Idols, to commit sacrilege; that same I say chargeth all wives be subject, forbiddeth them Rebellion.  
Now yet I will not deny, 
Exceptions in some cases against the woman's subjection.  but there is an exception to some kind of subjection. If thy husband stretch his authority beyond God's bounds then and only then, thou art permitted to restrain thy subjection in that kind, with yielding a reason. It was not the sin of Vashti, (as I take it) that she offered not her beauty and person, 
In case of unlawful commands.  to a vainglorious ostentation before the multitude; for, that might have been a snare to her as it was to others: but that she subjected not herself so far, as was meet, to go to the King, and to acknowledge his Sovereignty in all lawful, meet things, to give a modest reason of her refusal, promising to submit herself in all other. Even so here. Though the wife be tied, both in all direct charges of God, and in all other which repugn not, I mean in things pure, comely, and good report; yet if her husband will try her in the contrary, she must in all humble modesty refuse, and say, whether it be meet herein to obey God or you, judge ye. So that, herein there must be wise caution used, that neither she straighten her husband's power, nor yet enlarge her husband's tyranny, of her obedience to it. For (to digress a little) not only the husband may press the subjection of a wife in things arbitrary, but even in the omission of some commands. An example of both will clear it. Two fashions of Apparel are offered to a woman, equally decent and modest: she inclines to the one, he to the other. It were his discretion herein, to yield to her, the choice of her fashion: howbeit, if he will hearken to no reason, but urge upon her his fashion, she must be obedient and deny her own, for conscience sake. Again, put case the husband requires his wife at such a time, to forbear the hearing of a good sermon, and to hear another at another congregation; or to forfeit the hearing of the word, upon such a Sabbath day, although in general he oppose neither hearing the word, nor keeping a Sabbath in the same kind and place; although its true, that the charge of hearing and keeping of Sabbaths, is Gods: yet because these Commands tie not to every time and place, and may in some cases be omitted, therefore, let the husband look to himself how safely he restreines her of her liberty (lest God curse his usurpation) or otherwise; and stand to his own adventures; But since such a restraint may possibly be lawful, (though he harshly conceal it from her) therefore she must not contest nor hold chat with her husband, why he requires it, but yield for the present, and afterwards return to her liberty again. But if hereby, he encroach further, to forbid her the Ordinances, she must disobey. Only in a case of particular abstinence, she must think thus, my husband sees cause of such a charge, I will not descant, if he should offend, yet I will not rebel, so long as any good construction may be made of it, but meekly stoop and obey. I might be endless in instances; I deny not, but many a good wife mismatched and put upon sundry extremities, is to be pitied and prayed for: but not therefore to release herself from subjection and break all cords in sunder, because unpleasing to the flesh. 
1. Pet. 3●. 2.  As St. Peter tells them, They must strive for so blameless a conversation, and subjection towards their husbands, though rude and churlish, as may cause them to magnify the truth of God, and justify their Obedience, and wish themselves in like condition with them, in the day of their visitation. Look up therefore to God & yield to many unwelcome services (if they be not directly sinful, but abhorring to have the least fellowship with them, as he said, Into their counsel, let not my soul come.) If thou be pressed to any base thing, which conscience starts at, as to keep loose company, to wear garish apparel, to traduce the godly, or what else soever indecent and impure; forfeit the pleasing of thy husband on earth, and please a better in heaven: who will bring forth his doves from the crocky pots, and that with honour, when they commit themselves to him, in their innocency. Whereas flattering and temporizing women, who in show will hold with God, but yet keep quarter with ungodly husbands for their own ends; shall at last be detected for hypocrites and rewarded with reproach and dishonour.  
I shall insist in the next Chapter in another Exception, 
Further qualification of the woman's Subjection.  which allows a woman such a liberty in God's matters with her husband, as to prompt and occasion unto him Christian speech, good counsel, with modesty and in season: for the subjection we treat of, is not flavish but equal & royal in a sort, 
In prompting the husband with Religion's Counsel.  as I have noted: But to go on: She is not so to be subject as if in all cases, she ought alike to stand or fall at the bar and prerogative of her husbands will: Some cases fall out between them of greater difficulty, doubt and danger, then ordinary: such as extend to the hazard of estate, children, yea liberty and life itself. 
In cases of difficulty and hazard.  In such cases, (if they be but arbitrary) as removal from present dwelling, upon great charge and loss, or, to places of ill health, ill neighbours, with loss of Gospel; long voyages by sea, to remote Plantations, or in the sudden change of Trades, or venturing of a stock upon some new project, lending out, or borrowing of great sums, avoiding of debts, settling of estate, providing for children, costly buildings, great enterteynments beyond ability, or such like instances, wherein the woman is like to share as deep in the sorrow, if not more, than the husband; reason good she should share in the advice, and not be compelled to obey perforce. An husband perhaps in such cases may necessitate his wife to yield, but he doth her the more wrong, for God in such cases leaves her to her freedom. Could a Martyr in Queen Marles days compel his wife to suffer in the same cause with himself, although both were of the same judgement? No: for her Conscience was her own, and his measure might (haply) exceed hers, many degrees, both in knowledge, faith and Courage. It hath been by some very strangely determined, that if an husband be resolved upon a remote plantation, the wife must follow, by hand and by head. But, under correction it's neither so nor so: headship is not given the husband to destroy, but to help and edify. She hath a judgement to inform as well as he, & must see her grounds clear as well as he: she must have leisure & time, to deliberate of it, as well as he, till she be resolved, that she may do that in faith, which she doth. Therefore (with modesty and discretion) it's allowed her to deliberate, to allege her reasons by herself, or by her friends, submitting them to the judgement of wiser than herself, and as she shallbe cast and adjudged, so to deny herself and obey either way. And when Gods will is made known, either he or she, are to rest, without further distemper each with other? Mean while, the husband is not to insult, threaten, and domineer over her as a Lord, who had his wives will captived to his own: neither to desert and depart from her in a desperate way, but by all loving ways tenderly to draw her, and convince her by the strength of reason, and the bowels of compassion. God speaks not now by lively voice from heaven, in such doubtful cases, as once he pleased to do in times past. Sara thereby knew God's will in her jorne is too and fro, as well as Abraham, and had his promise of protection, aswell as he: therefore her Subjection ties not women in like adventures, now, as then. But now doubtful cases must be scanned and determined, according to the nearest that Scripture, or reason import: that so, her obedience may rather flow from consent, than compulsion.  
Thus, 
Branch 2d  I have said more of the first branch, than I had intended to do; 
Subjection of practice wherein three particulars.  not so properly, as necessarily, to spare myself a labour in another place: let me now sound retreat to my reader's thoughts: and come to the second branch of my division, that is, the subjection of the woman's practice. Which, although it be but a shadow without the other; yet that must not pass for the whole payment of the debt; for, who may not say, their heart is good this way, when as their conversation shows it not? But a subject heart appears best, when a woman says little of that which is within, but leaves to them to judge, who hear and see. 
The 1.  And this practice of the woman's subjection, 
In matters of God.  must appear in these three particulars, in matters of God's worship, in matter of the world, and, in her marriage converse. For the first, she is with an awful and single eye, and honouring heart, to behold in her husband the gifts of God; As namely, that ability which God hath given him, to be in God's steed unto her, in all things pertaining unto her soul; as also to menage the services of God with her, either in the family or apart; as to read the word judiciously, to catechise and inform in the grounds of religion distinctly; to admonish the family, against the sins, and exhort inferiors to the duties of their order and condition, wife, children, so jorners, servants. I say, she ought so to observe God's image in these gifts of her husband, as to feel no spirit in her to despise him, to gain say, to compare, or censure them. Yea though her own gifts be more than ordinary, yet to conceal & suppress them in this kind, (except her husband shall at any time desire to be partaker thereof in private for his spiritual quickening, and then with all humble self denial to impart herself with him:) and enjoy them to herself in subjection. Note it, that the Apost. when he is in the midst of his urging this duty to the wife, then doth he touch this point, saying, let the woman learn in silence; 
1 Tim. 2. 11. ●2.  and, I suffer not the woman to teach, or usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. You must note, that in this age, the spirit of God was poured upon all flesh, so that women as well as men had great gifts of understanding and prophecy vouchsafed them: which (no doubt) might put them forward to express themselves before their husbands. Now, if such women, then how much more must ordinary women be subject in this kind to their husbands? She ought indeed to encourage her husband cordially, to proceed in such a course, showing it to be the joy of her heart, when she sees him to set up God in the family: She is to remove to the uttermost, all lets and stops, which might offend; as unseasonable attendance upon business (which commonly offers itself most, when it least should, also the complaints and trouble of children: with other occasions of the family, as that might by her wise prevention, be cast upon other times as well. I say, she is wisely to procure the opportunities of worship; but he is to menage and perform them: She being within doors, must take it her part to prepare and forelay the seasons, for her husband's better ease and content in these duties: a wise housewife will be always beforehand in her business, that so the house may be empty, swept, and garnished for God to come in. She must abhor (as I said before) to justle and shoulder out the solemn matters of God, yea or to cut them off by the middle, and contract them, by the colourable pretences of other matters. So tedious in her dressing and trimming, that a pin must not be awry, so sluggish and lateward in her uprising, so curious about her children's addressment, so tedious in her manifold proclamations and turnagaines, that it would irk any Christian husband to suspend God's work upon such fooleries, and yet either it must be so, or worse. No no, account these things babbles in respect of the other; that one thing necessary: learn to outgrow all such old customs as base, in God's esteem. The devil will never suffer a woman to want bones to throw in the way of duty, if he spy a mind ready to admit them. If any part must needs lose, let the world's part be the loser. Subjection to the husbands, will first begin with God: setting him up, and affording him his due. Nothing will more encourage a religious husband, to be strict and careful in his way, then when he sees his wife's zeal in this kind: nor more dismay and enfeeble him, than the slackness and indifferency of the wife, that she is so far from forgetting herself for God, that she will not afford him that regard which lies within her place to express.  
But what then (will some say) is the wife then wholly out off from the officiating of worship, 
How far the wife may undertake the service of God in her family.  in her family? I answer, she hath a great work of it, to seek God constantly by herself apart, at times meet: and, if her family consist of her own sex, she may like Ester with her own maids, in the absence of her husband pray with, and teach her family, and children, besides the private respect she oweth them out of the act of worship. But (will some say) is she so straighted, that in no respects she may perform these duties in the presence of the other sex in the family? or of her own husband, as the case may require? Answ. I answer, touching her servants the case is less difficult, being her inferiors as well as her husbands, and so she doing the duty of a Governor to them, she is discharged, especially they being unable, ignorant, or unmeet to be so occupied, and ready to pearke up and trample the Authority of the woman under feet, by such occasions. But, touching the husband, 
Y●t with Cautions.  although the case be more difficult, yet I doubt not, but she may also before him, aswell as the other, perform these duties, if these cautions be observed; For why? serving of God in itself can hinder no subjection, but rather further it, in a lowly and humble spirit, privy to her own infirmities, 
Caution. 1.  only mark how? First she may attempt it, in case of utter insufficiency of parts in her husband, I mean knowledge and understanding. 2. In case of invincible defects of expression and utterance in the husband. 3. And much more, when there is an utter looseness and carelessness in him to look after it, much more a vicious contempt, so that (as far as lieth in him) the work were like to be quite cashiered out of the family: 4. If her husband do allow her with all cheerfulness, or request her to undertake it, for Conscience, or if not, yet be content to give way to it upon reasonable terms, of connivance: yea, though not so equal terms, but with some lowering, and with break out now and then, or upbraid of her; yet not forbidding and opposing, she must rather undergo some brunts for God and her family, and bear them as meekly as she can, then under such pretence to abandon the duty. But, if he be willing, and able, though perhaps unqualified for grace, she must not encroach upon the office and disauthorise her husband: but by all sweet means accepting that which is, and covering defects, to draw him forward to that which is not, in token of an heart truly subject. 5. If she (beside, her ableness to perform it) be also, qualified with singular modesty, and humility, awe and reverence, both of God and his Angels, and her husband, whose presence should always be solemn, and balance her spirit to soberness and subjection. 
Women denied this liberty must be patient.   
If God deny her that interest and Respect from her husband which she deserveth, so that he slights her parts, despises her graces, and will by no means endure her Service in this kind; the effect is sad, to behold God cast out, and the family deserted, and exposed to ruin: But her remedy is, rather to mourn in secret, and by other wisdom to seek the relief of this burden, then to break her bounds. On the other side, if these respects be observed she may. For the Lord ties none so strictly, that either one must do it, to wit, the Mr. of the family, or none. No no: the Lord knows, that oftentimes he of all other parts of the household, lest beseems his place; and besides, if the head of the family himself, even when he is able, yet for reasons may resign up his liberty to another, a stranger, who probably may honour God and profit the family more, than himself, (in which case to stick to his Privilege were a sign of pride and singularity) much more may he (in the case of usual worship, when the very substance of worship lies at the stake) authorize the woman to perform it. For, although he dishonour his headship; yet his ponance is just, for his sin. Better it is, that he be shent & shamed for his sin, (especially himself revenging it,) then that God should be barred of his due; by both his & her withdrawing the duty, & the whole Family wanting the ordinances. It was God's Law, that, if the Servant would willingly abase himself to slavery, his ear was to be boared: but his Mr. 
Exod. 21. 6.  was not to lose his advantage. And the wife is as well the Mother, as the man, the father of the family: She is a part of the households head, as the husband is the wife's head. Now if she be free from the dominion of her head, then is she the whole head of the family, and returns to her privilege: so that without, check or control she may (being fitted) discharge the duty: But if being a widow, (never used to it before) she find this new task to be over tedious to her, than ought she to resign it to another, as (if she be of ability,) to one maintained for that purpose, if not, yet to such a servant, as both for parts and humbleness may be meet to take it upon him, without offence: for else the remedy may prove worse than the disease, through his contempt. It being to contain a thing within bounds, when it's out of his Element. As touching the husband's absence (as I have said) she may doubtless more safely perform it with the servants, then in his presence. If it should be alleged, There be in the family, such, as whom she may resign up the duty unto, both for dexterity and humility, I say little to that for the present, so long as her gifts be competent she is the Governess, they inferiors, & the sad effects in bold servants of this course, doth not a little disaffect me: yet I will not deny a lawfulness altogether for her to resign it, if she be advised to it by them that give counsel, as well as by herself. But, if such helps fail, what should hinder her from the cheerful and free undertaking of it? And so much for this.  
Now secondly, 
2. Branch  she must also be subject to him, in matter of his worldly estate. 
Of practice.  She is not to stand upon stiff terms, and (as we say) upon her pantofles with her husband, 
Matter of the world.  touching her equality of right to his estate, and goods, with himself: For here, the question is not so much of right, as Employment: Now she must not distract the common stock from her husband's hand, into her own, to occupy it at pleasure, to dispense the Charges of the family, as she lists, or pursing of the Commodity, as well as he: which were to seek a Quartermastership with him; and to seek a double, not the single wealth of the family jointly. No. She must know, God is the God of order, both in Church and family: she must hold no Quarter with her husband in this business. Two heads in a family confound all: her Providence must be under his, and be directed by his; running in the same stream with it, tending to one Common wealth, purse, and gain, not her own, but his and the families. I say, while the husband is himself: for else, he being disabled either by age, or infirmities, or some sudden distemper by God's hand, which suffer it not: she is to set to her shoulders to the uttermost, rather than the state of the family be perverted. I add also, if he being a man carried by his in ordinate lusts, 
Limitations of subjection in worldly things.  and feeling himself to suffer his estate to decay, shall permit her to look into the affairs of the family, (there being no child nor other to be trusted) she may lawfully undertake the Charge, rather than commit the ship to wind and wether. Moreover, I doubt not but the wife, so far as her skill reacheth, being endued with a gift and skill in some mystery, which her husband is not, especially the husband being idle and slothful to improove his own stock, or perhaps having embesseled it already: may be occupied in that calling of hers: provided that she be comptable to her husband, whose stock she occupies: For, 
Prov. 31.  if she occupy a borrowed stock, she is praiseworthy for her industry, but comptable only to her creditors: in such a case, if she share with him so far as to keep him from beggary, it's enough, for she aims at the support of her family. One thing more I add, if the husband shall allow his wife to undertrade with him, that is, for her own veils and content to use some petty stock for her own advantage: so there be no prejudice hereby done to her other Housewifery in family, nor to her husband's stock, she may lawfully accept the kindness, provided that in the defect of her own skill, she be guided by his counsel, to prevent damage, and improve her gains to the right ends, not the maintaining of sin in herself, or hers. But, setting these and the like limitations aside, she must be wholly in all her course for him, & his ends; Expecting from his wisdom and love, such recompense as is meet, for her honest support and maintenance. I am not ignorant, that many husbands some for sloth, others to avoid their wife's discontents, supposing to allay their fierceness of spirit by resigning their right, others, under other colour of Ministerial, or burdensome service, have, and do, put the bridle of providence, into their wyves hand: (and that, when as none of the former cautions do require it:) but whether this swerving from the Ordinance, hath not weakened their Headship, animated the woman to an excess ofspirits, causing that nature which of itself is too forward, to wax more insolent; let experience judge. Inferiority is ready to despise authority, if occasioned: sin is out of measure unbridled: easilier held off from the occasion, then restrained under the occasion. Besides, that the husband's hand is cut off, as it were by the wives Mortmayne (for many wives peark up to meddle with the estate, suspecting that their husbands are more ready to do good than themselves) from that bounty, which both his place and will would admit.  
Quest. But here likewise a question is made, whether it agree with the wyves subjection, 
May the woman of herself give to Charitable uses?  to give to good and charitable uses, of her own accord? that is, without the husband's consent? Answ. To which I answer, That the seasons of welldoing are to be distinguished. Such occasions there may be offered, and such necessities may lie upon the Church, and upon the members of it by the rag of unreasonable enemies, oppressors and persecutors, yea such straits may beset the poor servants of God, as may discharge the wife from ordinary subjection in this case: as in the Martyr's days (I doubt no●) that many women borrowed leave from heaven to do good, 
Ordinarily she may not. But in some cases she may.  who if they had stayed while they had leave on earth must have waited, till their eyes in their head had fallen out, for aught their husbands would have yielded to. They dispensed therefore with their unwillingness in such case, & dispatched the duty. I leave the consideration of such necessities, to be judged of by the wise, especially in these our sad times wherein the afflictions of God's Church, are little thought of by the most, who drink away and forget, 
In public miseries of the Church  eat and sleep, and stretch themselves upon their beds, not thinking of the affliction of joseph: so they fare well what is it to them though the Church perish? But to return, for an ordinary course, she may not put forth her hand to give of her husband's estate of her own head, except, first, she demand her husband's consent, which I speak because some women might have from their husbands, if they would ask, but either distrust of their own loss, or scorn to give it, except they may give it with an high hand of their own, hinders them. A foul shame, for a Christian wife who should rejoice in God's way, and at the largeness of good doing, and honouring of God. Except. 2 Secondly, except she hath at the first made some reservation to her own stroke, of some such means, as might (without his notice) supply such uses, which being done, although he should seek to infringe that grant by after-exceptions, yet she ought not to yield to it in conscience, but with love and modesty, hold herself to agreement. But the truth is, many women, who have power enough to do good, do it not, yet blaming their husband, whenas the sin lies upon their own base hearts: as also many who have of their own to do it, will spare themselves & do it of their husbands, who indeed eat stolen bread, and drink of the waters of a forbidden Cistern. Now I mean by Reservation, only this, that they have acknowledged no more estate to their husbands, than they will yield upon marriage, desiring their jointer to be according. 3. Except upon the yielding up of their whole estate to their husband's hands, they make such a mutual compact together, that the wife shall enjoy such liberty without jealousy, ascribing to her discretion in that behalf, without jealousy or grudging. 4. Except she have allowance by her husband to take to her own use the overplus of such moneys, as are granted for the expenses of the family (she faithfully providing for it without parsimony, & not defrauding any of their due,) for that were to feed others uponrapine & stealth, in such case that which she spares is her own: & the like is the case of such veils as do by a kind of custom, issue undoubtedly to the woman, from her husband's trading. Fifthly, except any thing be fall her by God's providence, gift, or special bequest of the deceased, wherein her husband doth, and hath cause to all other a portion, as being derived by her Channel unto him. Sixthly, if she do perceive by his behaviour and love, that when she doth any thing in that kind before his face, he give allowance thereto, as a gift mutually issuing from both their consents, though not named precisely, yet implied secretly. And in a word, except she know, that such a practice of hers wisely ordered, would no whit prejudge her in her husbands thoughts, if he knew it, but be taken by him, as an act of Conscience, not to be opposed.  
But to return, 
Decision of the doubt.  if none of these cases can be safely alleged, it is unlawful for the woman to put forth her hand to her husband's estate, under any colour whatsoever. As, that their estate is (God be thanked) great enough to admit it: that they have small charge, and do little by Consent, any way: or, that her husband is extremely base, or that her dowry was more than ordinary; or, if she were again to compact with him, she would not do, as she hath done; or, because her housewifery is great, she deserveth the liberty by her great gains, or save: or, her comparing her lot with other women less deserving, than she: or that she is hardly handled, or she is to be pitied and pardoned, if (the need of the poor so requiring) she exceed the rule a little, for the greatness of the good which might so be done. I say not what God may in mercy do in point of covering the goodness of her meaning, if she do it ignorantly, but what right she hath to do it, before God. Let such women as enjoy their liberty bless God, and beware lest they stumble at the stumbling block of their iniquity: As for the rest, lest them mourn under their cross, but not ease themselves of subjection: knowing that their defies are accepted of God, for the deed, in greater inabilities than these, and therefore resting in their integrity, till God grant them greater liberty. The worst is, many women whine and ask Questions, while they live under Covert of their husbands; who yet, when the Lord hath set them free, to try all that is in their hearts, have neither Questions nor Answers to make, but are bound with chains of their own, from all good doing: showing that neither credit nor Conscience was their motive. And doubtless, where there is a sound heart to God, few women are so straited by their husbands, but they might by one mean or other win them to some indifferency. But for that which I spoke touching the necessity of times, and danger of not affording of help to the distressed, and the like cases of extraordinary nature, its sufficient that the Church hath been compelled to greater aberrations than this, as appears by Act. 1. and the act of Abigail to David, contrary to Nabals' resolution, may sufficiently evince. And so much for this second branch.  

3. Branch Her subjection in marriage converse manifold.  Thirdly, this subjection, extends to the whole conversation of the wife in Marriage whereof I say this, That she is to be generally attendant to this duty, and to have it in her eye daily, as if written upon her frontless and fringes of garments, rising up, walking, and lying down with her continually, whether God do bless, or cross them, in their goings out, & comings in: she must carry it written on her forehead, Subjection to my husband. In particular, take these. First in point of her attire, 
In Attire.  The common tenant of gallants and proud dames is this, that whatsoever fashion is up, be it never so costly, above her mean, troublesome, be it change, upon change, have it she will: The fashion she holds is above her husband's power, she must not be laughed at for her worn suit, because she is not in the new cut. St. Peter could not speak of subjection, but he must needs speak of this: as, for the sake whereof, women otherwise subject, yet for their wills sake, will venture a joint, and forfeit subjection. In a case of meetness of fashion what husband so little delights in his wife, as not to allow her that which is indifferent? But hereupon, to run before the husband, even to that which is uncomely and excessive, either for fashion, or cost, I must tell women, it suits not with subjection. 
1. Pet. 3. 3.  Not in gold (saith he) broydred attire, plaiting of the hair; but in meekness of the spirit: as if subjection were much a seen, and most forfeited in this case. I will not run into the determining of fashions, suitable to each degree: Let the soberest in every state, determine it, and I had rather it should be the husband should determine, than she: Love willbe bountiful enough; & self love may not be trusted. But oh! the excess of this sex, both in married women, and Virgins (yea the wyves of those who should be Patterns to the world) is so woeful in these days, and so hideous, that it doth not only help to make a world of Banquerupts, but to fill the world with curiosity and Vanity! wherefore, let this be taken for a rule, Never was there curious, proud, and fashionable woman, who could stoop to be subject; by their ruffling, flinging, flaring, curling, dresses, tirs, and forelocks, you shall know them. Custom (as the world thinks) takes away offence: But by that rule, nothing should be evil in itself, but in opinion. But a subject wife puts little odds between such opinion, and realnes: For she is known by her Modesty, as abhorring to receive lustre from rags, but affording honour to her attire, by her sober subjection, be her attire costly or mean.  
Secondly, her very eye, gesture and speech, ought also to be awful and mixed with modesty, 
In gesture and composition of body.  and blushing, arguing her submission & privity to her weakness. There must be a law, that is an authority of Grace upon her lips, ordering her silence and speech, with a sweet mediocrity, but even as a thread going through a cloth, so a gift passing through the whole man. That which is within, cannot lie hid: for, grace will make the face to shine; Her very blush, is Ivy-bush sufficient, showing what is within. And on the other side lofty carriage, proud, and disdainful garb unsavoury tongue, multitude of words, boldness of forehead, stoutness of stomach, loud cry (as Solomon terms it) bewray to all men, what a plague her husband nourishes in his bosom. All the honour of such an husband, if it be not turned to contempt, while he is present; yet is turned to pity, when he is absent. Such a demeanour, more befitting some mannish Amazon, or insulting Courtesan, than a woman of true subjection to her husband.  
Thirdly, another piece of her modesty lieth in her usual carriage at home, 
Domestical Converse must be subject.  towards her husband's direct person. Familiarity and daily converse will breed no contempt in a subject wife: she is not so, by compulsion, but by freedom, therefore she utters it, equally and constantly. She fears not that imputation justly cast upon women, who abroad will seem very respective, good wife, le's have more of it at home! Sara, called her husband Lord, meaning usually, it was not her holiday livery, but her workday phrase. Not he called her his Lady, (and yet it were well if such flattery could prevail with some Donna's:) but she him Lord: This Reverence and subjection causeth the wife to behold her duty, in the countenance, projects, virtue and way of the husband (as I noted before of consent.) His service to God, government to children, following of business, is the glass, which represents her: for either she sees all good, if she have skill to discern, or believes it in love, if she have none. But as for a controlling spirit before her head, she hates it as impious, degenerate. To takeupon her, to be the household Oracle, and Idol, 
Rom. 12.  to overtop all, to be under none, is too hot and heavy for her handling, she loathes it as hell, to use Paul's word, 
Matt. 11. 30.  for her heart, will, tongue, self and all are not so much bound, as bind themselves to the peace: only the yoke is easy, and the burden light.  
Fourthly, suitable must her subjection be before others, to that which is at home: 
She must he subject abroad  as coming from one, not ashamed of that, which is her true honour. Many women are in their extremes: Some, although in private, they will not offend, yet, coming into company, think it a kind of slavery, to profess the like honour, and esteem of their husbands. And indeed, to flatter the husband, were but a base office for the wife, wheresoever, at home, or abroad, arguing, that an husband loves it. Such cup, such cover; But, wisdom keeps a mean, and abhors as much to sooth and gloze, as to despise and neglect; That due reverence and subjection, which a good wife shows abroad, she shows at home, and contraily: She is loath to have her hand out. Others are in another vein, and, although at home, they make no bones, to taunt, and take up their husbands, yet abroad, are quite other women, so solemn and subject, as if the Anointed of the Lord were before her, as if she were the subjectest, and he the happiest living. But as he said to the Crabfish, when she was stretched out in length being dead, but before crooked, so thou shouldst have lived: so to these, This should be always, and then safe. But this extreme as the other, a subject woman avoids without pain; for their inward principle levels all, saying, Whatsoever is according to God must be equal.  
Fifthly her subjection also appears in company. A gadder, a gossip, 
In her tongue and Company Subject.  one, whose heels are over her neighbour's threshold, and, being there, is in her Element, licentions, and talkative, is no subject wife. Solomon calls her Turbulent, that is self-willed and unsubject. And well he might: for surely no husband can affect a woman of such a trade, it is his bane, except himself in his kind be a Rover and wand'ring Planet, ou● of his orb, and then better one house troubled with them, then two. But whether he be so or not, whether he like it, or dislike it, he must bear it: She will have her vagaries, her tongue is her own, and she upon her own bottom, and therefore not redeemed with a price, stands and falls to herself, and what Lord shall control her? And sure as she cost little, so she is worth as little, and may go for naught. Alas she is sick of home! There she sits, louring and pouting, hath no list to say much: But lest you should think she hath lost her tongue, she doth but keep it, till place and time please her, and there she will be as much on the other side! She is like that sidler, which was long a getting to pull out his fiddle, but when it was once out, there could be no putting it up, any more. Surely, as some women are fain to fetch their husbands from their Alebench to shame them; so had some husbands need fetch their wives from their Gossips, and yet, it's a question whether they were better to have left them where they were, lest they make a Tragedy at home, of a Comedy abroad; A modest wife is of another spirit; Home hath her heart: She hath work enough within doors, and dwells most within herself. She like the snail, carrieth her house always upon her back. She builds it with her hands, and bears it up by her shoulders; never going abroad, but then when it were an offence to keep at home. And, being abroad, the Law of grace is upon her lips; her words, are as the leaves of the tree of life, healing: and as the fruit thereof, life itself, and restorative. Out of the abundance of the heart, the tongue speaketh: not so much, as well: not so long, as sweetly, seasonably; and when she holds her peace, it's with her, as with a beautiful face, wherein you know not whether the white or red be fairer, for both are beauty: So you cannot tell, whether speech or silence do most commend her; but both do, for she knows both when to speak, and when to hold her peace.  
Lastly, 
●. In point of Nursery.  Subjection in a wife reacheth to benevolence: for when the Lord set her appetite toward her husband, he planted subjection in her spirit; as also to nursery of her infants, except God deny her ability and strength. No sooner doth the infant which she hath warmed in her womb, and given life to, in her womb, behold the light, but it whimpers, and cries for the breast, as if it said, I am thine, nurse me; Look upon thy breasts, whether dry, or milch; if there be milk it's mine, and given thee (my dear mother) to be a nurse, my nurse: The subject wife stops not her ear to this call: She seeks not breasts in her husband's purse, but in her own bosom; and, according to her power, takes her babe, 
Ruth. 4. 16.  embraces and nurseth it. Ruth gave her son Obed the breasts, though Naomi dry-nursed it. When Pharaohs daughter had found poor Moses crying, whom sent she for to nurse it, rather whom sent God to it? oh the mother! to note God's verdict. No water, like the own: no nurse to the mother. As David of Goliahs' sword, so here, its best of all. None so tender, so chary, so careful. Physicians for a fee, will be suborned to be at the request of an unnatural mother, and to pronounce against the full breasts, and the milk thereof: to advise the husband, if you love your wife, your child, let her not nurse: Another Physician advises the contrary, if you love your health, nurse your child: surely, if the scale hang so even, if you please, let God cast it, there being no apparent let. A subject wife, will bewray it this way, as soon as any: and the Apostle joins it with subjection, in the place so oft recited. She will do it, if not for her husband's sake who lies in her bosom, yet for that infant's sake which lay in her womb? Though she have not such wages as Moses his mother had for her pains, yet she hath assurance of such pay from a better Master, who promises her she shall be saved, that she will do it for his sake, though for neither husbands, nor child's: That fee and wages, next to faith and love, will cause her to look upon her babe even in the worst pickle and hand that belongs to it, with so sweet and smiling a countenance, that she would not for the pain of many nursing, forfeit it. Oh thou coy woman, what art thou? richer than Sarah, weaker than Rabel, better than Rcbecca, holier than Hanna? then all those matrons of old, who were honourable in this point of subjection? whose daughter wouldst thou choose to be? theirs who nurse not, or these? And by these six branches mentioned, judge oh ye women of the rest: No one duty of many (I know) is less practised: Consider what hath been said and God give you understanding: love made Jacob count all wethers welcome for Rahcl: Let her think all service sweet for him. Thus much for answer to the question, wherein subjection consists. Now to the uses briefly to finish withal.  
Use. 1 And first let it be for Admonition (if yet my words may reach unto, 
Admonition. eat Rebel. Iron.  and pierce any such;) to all sad creatures, unsubject souls in this kind, to shun all Rebellion against their husbands. If thou wilt hearken to thy corrupt will, it will tell thee another tale, and quash all my former counsel. Oh, it will say, thou mayst win the goal, and get the upper hand of thine husband for ever, if thou be damish and imperious: It will make him to seek thee, not thou him. But subjection will say, that I get this way in the Hundreth, I shall lose in the Shire: If I lose the better end of the staff with God, what get I by getting it of a poor husband? It's possible I may cone short too, even of that; but sure I am, never was an unsubject woman powerful, or prevailing with God. Therefore her voice is, a body thou hast given me, it's written in thy book, I shall do thy will, oh God Lo here I am, speak, for thy servant heareth, and cavils not, and my soul answereth, thy face will I seek, I will be subject. 
Exod. 4. 25.  A Zippora will throw the foreskin at her husband, the meekest man upon earth. Micol will say to the holiest man living, even in the act of his zeal, what a fool was my husband this day? But a subject one will say, I opened not my mouth because thou bidst so: or if I have, once have I spoken, but I will say no more, but will lay mine hand upon my mouth, If I have erred, teach me, pardon me! By crookedness of spirit, of tongue, I shall lose honour, gain reproach, yea hell too: but, by subjection, as I shall honour mine head, so shall he me! yea my yielding is the way to honour me more, than all my recoilings, and to win that Authority in his heart, which no usurping can ever obtain? As is the shadow, such is the husband's heart, & love: fall down upon it, and thou mayst overtake it, if thou pursue it, it flees further off; So, if thou contest & with strong hand resist thy head, he will be as a Lion, his courage will not stoop: But if thou shalt speak kindly to him & win him by subjection, thou hast conquered him for ever. God hath appointed him to be over thee: in seeking to be above him, thou provokest him to Tyranny, and to challenge his right, but canst not subdue him by rebellion. Remember, thy sex is crazy, ever since Eve sinned, sin is out of measure sinful, through the Law, and Satan's incensing, loathes subjection, affects impotency; But oh, thou woman that fearest God, let that liberty with thine husband, which thy subjection hath purchased, satisfy thine heart, seek no more, lest in catching at the shadow, thou lose the Substance. Let thy Birth, thy Education, estate, endowments, exceed his never so much; yet the Ordinance of God hath subjected thee to thine husband with all thy perfections. There is but one Law for all wives, both poor and rich, mean and great, wise and foolish, one and other, that is to be subject. No Pop●, no Prince, much less the law of thine own lust can exempt thee: there were wives in Paul's time, who because they believed, 
1. Cor 7 10.  could have shaken off their husbands, that were Infidels. But Paul meets them a going, and turns them back with force upon their allegiance and subjection: saying, Except the separation begin from the unbelieving party, do not thou who believest, desert the other: As he said, Set meat before them, and break their hearts, but smite them not: so here, win them by all holy means, but oppose not. If subjection be due to heathens, much more to Christians.  
Use. 2 Lastly this is Exhortation to all wives who will stand to God's bar, Be ye subject to your husbands. Let the spouse of Christ teach you, 
Exhortation of wyves to subjection.  she is subject to her head: both in heart, she gives it to him; in eye, she delights in his ways, she is so to him in all matters, both of God, and the world, she is so in her gesture, speech, abroad, at home, in all. Be thou so, and prosper. Without this, none of thy inward abilities, outward gifts, nay the Graces of God, willbe a Crown to thy husband: except it be a Crown of thorns. No, if thou wert never so huswifelike, fruitful in children, rich in gold or jewels, except thou add Subjection, all will not amount to the making of a crown, except this make it, nothing else will. All thy lewels may bestollen out of thy box, thy money out of thy purse, clothes out of thy wardrobe, thy back may be stripped of thy costly attire, thy beauty blasted with age, thy body weakened with sickness, sorrow: thy name sullyed with infamy, thy parts may decay: But thy subjection no man shall rob thee of, nor thine husband of that Crown: If thou preserve that in thy Cabinet as thy pearl, it shall supply and restore all those losses, in the esteem of thy husband. This willbe the Trench of thy castle, all darts will fall short of it, as impregnable. Subjection is the true Mother of love, Sister of consent, root of all other Matrimonial service, helpfulness in the next chapter, gracefulness in the next to that shall attend it, as precious handmaids. And she herself in the middle shall walk honourably, and honour marriage above all other virtues. Be it never so meanly thought, spoken of by the Damish and Imperious women of the world, yet she will say, If this be to be vile, I willbe more vile: yea those that would disdain me yet shallbe compelled to honour me, and say, Many daughters have done well, but subjection hath surmounted them all. And so much touching the first personal virtue of the woman, to wit, subjection, be spoken.   

CHAP. XIIII.  
Which proceedeth on to the second peculiar duty of the wife, that is helpfulness.  
I Now proceed to the second special duty of the wife, 
The second special Duty of the wife helpfulness.  which is helpfulness. The former gift tells her, that she must not be Rebellious: This second tells her, what she should be, helpful, useful. It's not enough for her to be Negatively good, not harsh, not rude: But she must be positively good, she must also be helpful. This comprizes all her true useful service to her husband: and in special answers his Providence. She must within doors, lay all her helpfulness to his providence without doors: that by both, the whole frame without and within may be supported. She was made subject by sin: But helpful by creation, which yields a choice prerogative to this virtue, being of integrity, not from corruption. Of all the other Creatures, saith Moses, the Lord found not any one, 
Gen. 2. 18.  which might be a meet match for Adam; wherefore he said, It is not meet the man should be alone, I will make him a meet helper: and so, he form her of a rib out of his side, while he slept. In the former Chapter than we treated of a peaceable, in this we must speak of a Profitable, and in the next of an Amiable companion.  
Quest. But here in the very entry, a Question is to be answered: In how many things stands this helpfulness? 
Wherein stands this virtue of helpfulness.  Answ. I answer, in three main things. First & chiefly in help to his Soul: Secondly, to his outward estate: thirdly to the married condition: as for instance, to the honour of his Name, the health of his body, the welfare of his Children, the government of his family, the recovery out of any disaster, the averting of dangers, the advice about things weighty and difficult. I begin with the first of these. 
In 3 Branches  Touching which, although I have noted before, that she is to be subject to her husband in matters of God; 
In God's matters.  yet this muzzles not the mouth of a good wife in helpful concurrence, but only in bold usurpation. She may (without impeach to that,) cast in her mites into God's treasury, and be an helpful furtherer of his soul to all spiritual welfare and content in knowing, believing, and obeying, so it be done with humility and meekness. Although she is to ask her husband at home in respect of any usurpation, yet (as the case may require) she may, nay, she must, in due season, being demanded, reflect back the fruit of that mercy which the Lord hath showed, and the cost he hath vouchsafed her for the good of her husband. And, as the Lord hath gifted and graced many women above some men, especially with holy affections: so, I know not, why he should do it else, (for he was wise, and is not superfluous in needless things) save that, as a Pearl shining through a crystal glass, so her excellency shining through her weakness of sex, might show the Glory of the workman. And how? In being only looked upon or wondered at, as a bird of fine colours? No: but, in real Communicating of that Grace which she hath, to her husband especially, as also to others in private communion of Saints as occasion is offered.  
One thingh here comes to my mind; 
Impudence of usurping women in matters of God, eaxed.  I would not be taken to patronage the pride and licentious impudence of women, who having shaken off the bridle of all subjection to their husbands, take upon them to expound the Scriptures, in private assemblies, and to be the mouth of God to both Sexes. Not blushing one whit to undertake by the 4. or 5. hours together, yea whole days (if their vainglorious humour masked under the colours of humility may be suffered) to interpret the word: applying it according to their way by Reproof, comfort, Admonition, and the like, as if She-preachers were come abroad into the world. And yet these are such as dare oppose and confute the doctrine of faith, and self-denial, taught by the most able Ministers of Christ: and tell their disciples that there is another way to be walled in, and that is the way of the spirit which must give such a light to the soul, and such an assurance of salvation, as may rid us at once of all doubtings, fears and unbelief, and translate us into a confident and secure persuasion of the love of Christ, without making question. As for any ways, means, trials, motives, signs whereby the soul may come to be settled about the work of Regeneration, these they abhor, as savouring of the flesh, and not of the spirit of light and inward evidence. In this kind they undertake most boldly to expound the Scriptures, and to resist all who are of another mind: Nor allow I others, who defending themselves by the practice of the primitive Church, when the extraordinary gifts of Prophecy flourished, whereby the moving of the spirit, men to men, and women to women, did exprefle and utter their thoughts and judgements concerning divine truths, which gift then was very necessary for the breeding up of Ministers, Doctors, and Proctors, they wanting other helps of furniture and supply: but appertains not unto us, who both have ordinary ways of supply, and want that special presence of the spirit which that first Church had, to guide and govern the use of such gifts, orderly and peaceably to such ends as they belonged, without schism and confusion.  
God indeed promised by Joel to the Church of the Gospel, 
Joel 2. 28.  that he would pour out his pirit without difference to all ages, sexes, states of people: But not in such a disorder, that a woman should dare in public, or in a private place after a public manner to declare truths of Religion: usurping over men, and encroaching upon the laws of Christ. Such immodesties and insolences of women, not able to contain themselves within bounds of silence and subjection, I am so far from warranting, that I here openly defy them as ungrounded, and ungodly: and I cannot but wonder, that any should be itching after novelties, as being present in such assemblies, especially themselves being public persons, and such as ought to discern better between things that differ. 
Admonition, to all usurping women in matters of God.  To both I say, beware lest your pride of gifts, carrying you beyond the bounds of your private condition, and your curiosity in favouring and being led away with such vizored ostentation of graces, do not wrap you within in the sin of Nadab and Abihu, and Vzza, and Vzzia who under pretext of holiness, adventured to profane hallowed things: nay, of Cora and his complices, who murmured against Moses and Aaron opposing their calling and office. If when you be convinced by the word, you will yet rebel, take heed lest you perish in his contradiction as Saint Judas speaks, teaching others by their fearful example because they would take none themselves, If such as these had been from God the devil would not have let them alone so long quiet in their attempts: But he knows distraction in opinions, makes him reign in the world. And to these more impudent persons, I add all such undertaking women, who either in families, companies, or in the private converse with their husband usurp authority, despising the graces of God in their husbands and others, and taking upon them all the speech at the table, to discourse of religion, to debate matters in question in the Church, to decide things of difficulty, to spend all the time in hearing themselves talk of good things: These although they think they have learned many things, yet have not learned one great thing, to wit, wisely to judge what their sex and state will admit. And therefore though haply what they speak is good, yet it's not comely for them, it's as a garment of good cloth but made into a garment very unfit for the body, for lack of taking measure beforehand. These are not helpers, but hurters by their unseasonableness.  
But I digress not too far. No reason there is, why the impudence of the Rebellious should prejudicated the gifts of an humble wife, soberly improved. Neither doth the holy Ghost envy her the honour of her grace and helpfulness. But as Bathsheba saith, Prov. 31. 31. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and, let her works praise her, in the gates. Subjection and helpfulness enterfeer not one whit, both may agree well. Subjection caused the wife of Manoa, when the Angel appeared to her with a solemn message, 
Conditions of modest wives in acting of God's matters.  to distrust herself, and to call her husband; when God prefers her, she modestly craves leave, and prefers her husband, and his judgement before her own: deriving her own honour upon him. Howbeit afterward we see, that (the case so requiring) when as upon the Angel's departure from them, Manoa was left in a carnal fear, lest he should die, having seen God: his wife steps in with her helpfulness, between him and his fears, saying, if the Lord would have slain us, doubtless he would not have revealed himself unto us in this sort: 
Judg. 13. 23.  to tell us we shall have a son, and yet to kill us. She saw further in this case, than he, and therefore gives him advice what to settle himself upon. What could more aptly have been spoken? how is that of Solomon verified, A word in season, is like Apples of gold, and Pictures of silver? And, how is Abigail honoured, for her wise counsel, 
Sam 1. 25.  to a man, who for that her wisdom, was so far from disreputing of her, that he sent for her to be his wife shortly after. So that, when David was in the way of heat and resolution to shed Nabals and his family's blood, she encounters him, saying, let not my Lord do such a thing as this! It shall not grieve him, when he shall sit upon his throne, that he hath not shed innocent blood: Oh! how comely a thing it is for Christian wives to come in thus with humble subjection, sometimes with a soft word to allay wrath, to stay the husband from prejudice against good persons and causes, to interpret all in the better part; to observe him when the word kindles any affections in his soul, and presently to follow them home, not to suffer them to slip out and vanish: to provoke him to mercy and compassion, to draw him from a natural course to a moral, from a moral to a spiritual, to persuade him to equalness and indifference towards such as are at controversy, to debate and decide things peaceably, to stay his hand from immoderate correction of children or servants, when she sees passion prevail against judgement: yea, and sometimes with the same meecknesse, and mildness to convince him of an evil quality or pang, as choler, discontent, worldliness, censuring of others, rashness and the like, admonishing also to beware of the occasions which might lead thereto: wherewith she herself should receive the like from him. Sometimes to win his adverse heart to a more entire love to God's Sabbaths, to his word preached, to his faithful Ministers, and servants: to affect them, to associate them, and to renounce all his old company and fellowship in evil. To be always darting some savour of that which they have heard in public, and prompting him with it, that the world eat not up all. Oh! these things come sweetly, as the latter rain, from a woman, who counts it her happiness, to see her husband to be brought home to Christ, who mourns for his rebellion, and rejoices to see his heart broken: As Mordecai told Ester, so should a good wife tell herself, who knows, whether thou art come to thy place for such a season, even to bring home one sheep to Christ's fold? Doubtless if Satan were not a professed foe to such helpfulness, the work would proceed with more ease and success. So much for the first branch.  
The next head of the wife's helpfulness is in matters of the world. 
2. General.  Solomon as truly said of this as of any other virtue of the wife; 
helpfulness in matter of estate described.  that, a wise woman buildeth her house. For, though it be little (in comparison) which a poor woman can add to the estate of her husband, yet she must be all in all for the preserving thereof. So that an improvident woman is next a waster in this only respect, and loseth much: But if she be also a spendthrift, and really wasteful, there is no end of her spoil, till she have brought all to nothing, and overthrown both her husband's state and posterity. She is the Moth yea Canker of the marrow and beauty of his estate, and by insensible morsels, devours at length, the whole substance. And because there be many queasy women, (yet such as would be religious) that think it a piece of religion, to be no housewives, let Bathsheba, a Queen, who might more stand upon her estate, than the proudest Dame may upon her dowry; in her instruction to Solomon speak. She describing a godly and helpful wife, (and not only a thrifty one) as it appears from the 25. verse to the end of the Chap. doth couple her virtue and house wifery together: 
Prov. 31.  She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and the law of grace is upon her lips: (there is her grace) and she overseeth the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness: (there is providence:) And, lest any should think this latter might be spared, it's to be noted that she spendeth the whole Chapter in the description thereof, by divers passages: whereas, the former she shuts up in the end of that Chapter in a verse or two, although the more necessary: as taking it to be more out of question, than the other; nay note how the holy Ghost will needs convey that instruction by the counsel of a woman, to all of her sex, to make the thing less subject to exception: pressing it strongly in an Idea of such an exact helper: and that with pleasing Rhetoric and variety: Why? save because she saw it a virtue meet to be urged, as being that which many women will not acknowledge. Neither can the greatness and wealth of wives control this duty of Providence, and that not for show neither, or compliment, and praise, to let the world see what skill in spining, in needle work, or in other matters, they have, but for conscience sake. In Bathsheba's days, gold and silver were common, and as plentiful as the stones and figtrees: and therefore need there was not for Queens or their maids to work so hard; And yet, for the religion of the duty, she speaks so, as one who had experience of it in her own princely person, and had the oversight also of her maidens in the handling of the wheel and spindle, for flax and wool. And surely in great families both sexes had need to be yoked, and awed from the sins which come from sloth and idleness, although I add, in a mediocrity, lest they trench upon the contrary of covetousness.  
My meaning yet by all this, 
Wife's must not have any peculiar wealth apart from their husbands, but in common.  is not to allow any woman the liberty of any such peculiar housewifery by herself, apart from the common stream and welfare of the husband and family, but in common with, for, and under him, though in a way of her own, best fitting her sex and education. For, I know there be housewives, who excel in providing for themselves, and (like the Steward in the Gospel who to prevent beggary, when he should be turned out of service) can shift for themselves, who yet are but ill providers for the good of their husbands whom (to use that Emperor's comparison) I may liken, to the Spleen in the Body, which when its fullest, makes the body emptiest, and so commonly, when the coffers of these Housewives are fattest, their husband's treasure is leanest and lankest: whereas she should rather be a pipe to convey into his cistern, than a sponge to suck from, or a Channel to dreyne from his fountain. This yet is a common vice: not only of second wyves prowling for their own broods, or kindred: But of all sorts of women; and, is caused by pride of Birth, of dowry, education, or person: which to godless ones, are occasions to withdraw them from the yoke of supposed bondage, though if a Queen may judge of helpful & housewifely providence. In some others its rather caused, by oldor late habits of luxuriousness, riotous and lewd companionship: for now we have meetings of Women-drinkers, Tobacconists and swaggerers, 
1. Tim. 3, 1. 2.  as well as men: lest Paul's Prophecy of the latter time should be falsified, and (which is worst of all) secret and stolen liberties. These vices, are like the daughters of the horseleech, crying, give, give, but like hell & the grave, never satisfied. In steed of the which licentious usurping over the husband's commodities, let women know, that although they have a true property and interest in their husband's Estates, yet when the use of the same comes into question, the Lord will have it, as well as other things, ordered by the husband. Neither may the bad qualities of the man, as his churlishness, Covetousness, and Enmity to virtue, authorise the woman, to be her own carver; lest if this wicket be set open to good wyves, the bad ones throng in with them also; and usurp it to evil ends. God's law is one, and concerneth all sorts indifferently. 
If they desire any stroke in dispensing the matters of the husband they must deserve it by good carriage.  If women desire a stroke this way, (as indeed some may more causedly pled in than others in show) let them labour by their good deserts, to prevail with their husbands, and by their helpfulness and love to draw so good an opinion of themselves that they may with a willing mind, yield this favour to their wives, as to use their pleasure in a sober manner. (Provided that they spend it upon honest and religious objects.) But, if God have laid another burden upon them (as I noted in the former chap.) of ill natured and straithanded husbands: let them take up and bear it, as the Cross which God hath set apart for them, without discontent or grudging. Especially second wyves, having the charge of former brood depending upon them, (further than by cheerful consent of their husbands, they are allowed) let them beware, lest herein they dishonour their Profession, by yielding to the strong and tempting occasions, of needy, unruly, and burdensome children, supplying their want, by injurious pillage of the husband, and his posterity. This by the way.  
To conclude the point, 
Three branches of woman's providence.  these three specials concern the woman's providence; first getting, then storing, and lastly dispensing those things which are committed to her charge. The first of these three, is proper only to those women, who sell their husband's commodities, or are allowed to be chapmen of their wares, (which is the case of few) or such as by reason of some special skill in any crafts or manufactures, have some stock allotted them by their husbands, to trade and traffic withal. In which way, they must use all good faithfulness, 
Act of Providence to bring somewhat in.  neither selling to their husband's loss, nor for their own secret gain, nor the hurt of the buyers, all which rules, are in all trade, usually transgressed. Besides the housewifery of many tradesmens wives, who learn their husband's skill, serve to the making of sundry wares, which serve to the upholding of the family, and estate. In which case (as the other burden of family will admit) they are to show their best endeavour, both for the getting in of some part of the maintenance, and saving it from being spent about such household expenses, as, by pains and thrift at home might be spared. 
Pro. 31.  And this is that which Bathsheba most insisteth upon; She laboureth cheerfully with her hands: she is like the Ships of Merchants: She brings home her food from a far: She ariseth while it is yet darkish, her candle goeth not out, she puts her hand to the wheel, and her hands to the spindle. She makes sheets and selleth them: and giveth girdles to the merchant. She considereth a field, and getteth it; and with her hands she planteth a vineyard. This is the image of the stirring housewife. It were well now a days if women would abate of their superfluous ease and needless expenses (which they do the more easily lavish out, because they wholly rely upon their husband's purse) and in stead of great merchandise and selling of wares abroad, apply themselves at home in private, about the supplying of the family wants, helping to cloth and lodge them by their diligence: for better and more enduring is that ware which is made, then that which is bought: taking occasion there by to busy their Children in meet employments, and to prevent sloth, ease, gadding, stolen liberties & vanities which the unbridled minds of Maids, both of children, & servants, are in these days pestered with, loathing labour & painfulness, and exposing themselves to the vices issuing from thence.  
The second act of Providence in the wife, is, the Bestowing & safe storing up, preserving & improving those commodities which her husband hath brought to her hand. 
Women must be their husband's storers and Treasurers.  Which, as it is fit they should be put to her trust, so ought she (specially in her husband's absence) to be careful of them, that they decay notunder hand, that they be not open & exposed to the stealth or spoil of Servants, or violence of others. And herein, not only herself in person is to be provident, but also to be careful to oversee the ways of such servants or others, as are under her, as instruments to act that, which other business, or infirmity hinders herself from performing. A wise housewife will contrive and dispose as well by sitting still, and using her brain, as some other by bending the force both of soul & body. Herself cannot keep things from putrefaction, from Rust, from fust and spoil, from motheating and decays: cannot perhaps do each inferour work serving to keep all things neat and shining: but she may so oversee the ways of others, that they may prevent such losses, and procure such conveniences as are meet for the family. So that she may ease her husband from the inspection and care of such things, as concern not his providence: to which task, if he be put, either for the things themselves or for the seasonable dispatch thereof, she should much discredit her providence and prudence, and burden her husband: whose work lies in a deeper and higher kind. Not, as if the husband should (as Laban of Jacob) exact each penny of the wife which miscarieth, or be implacable for those losses which cannot be avoided, (since his own wisdom cannot prevent many.) But, that she by her care must serve providence that no such complaints be heard of as might provoke him justly: As for losses which befall by the hand of God, 
Matt. 13. ●2.  both equally must patiently bear them: This is pithily alluded unto, in that simile, where Christ likēs a good scribe or Disciple taught to the kingdom of God unto the good housewife, which storeth up both old and new, that is family provision of all sorts, which she brings out in their season, for meet use. Otherwise, what comfort should the man have, in his bringing in supplies for family, household stuff, bedding, linen, Apparel, daily diet for the body, if he might not trust to her fidelity at home to preserve them, to menage, to dress and proportion them to the use of the family? And surely, if she do her part wisely herein, neither on the one side being so loose in her storing that every one may come by her commodities as freely and boldly as herself, to spend & spoil, to drink & imbezel at pleasure; nor on the other side abusing her authority, and the power of the Keys, so that she straiten the family of their due, and strangers of their hospital welcome, for her own pinching and base ends: but go in a wise middle between both: I say, so doing, it may be said, There goes no less care and praise in upholding an house built, then in building it from the ground: and she deserves, in her kind, equal commendation with her husband.  
The third therefore is her Dispensing, and bringing forth the provision thus stored up, 
Is her Dispensing.  for the good of the family in due season, due manner, and due measure. For why? She is the man's steward and Pensioner, and Almoner in this kind, to divide the demensum to the family, and the poor of the place, And Bathsheba omits not this neither in her Idea of the good housewife: saying, she feareth not the Snow, for her family is all clad in scarlet: By snow meaning whatsoever want or affront may betide, and by scarlet, all defence or furniture for the family, and that which is not only for necessary, but sometime also for honourable and comfortable allowance. And again, her husband is known in the gates, meaning by the livery which he disdains not to wear, because its the work of her hands. And further, she giveth a portion to her household, and the ordinary to her maids. In these three stand the woman's thrift and Providence: which they who want, must learn, and count it worth a double dowry, as knowing that many a naked bare wife is better than some waster, clothed in velvet, with her weight in silver. To this pertains the due observation of the seasons of the house: that inferior things prejudicated not the better, and more weighty matters of God, that all be done with foresight and forecast, that the members of the family want not that provision and due diet, attendance and nursery, which is meet for them, both in health, and sickness: the younger children (under her care) be taught, trained, directed, and furnished, and the elder provided for according to their needs.  
And such wives, 
Provident wives right hand must not know what their left doth.  as have obtained, and do improove this gift well, must beware of pride, and selfeconceit, that they take not occasion hereby to swell, as if they were the props of the house: or else to cover themselves under it, when they be reproved for other foul blemishes (for excellent parts in one kind are attended with sad corruptions:) we read of Abner, 
●. King 3.  the Captain of Saul's army, and protector of his house, that he was a great champion for Ishbosheth, a man of great courage and valour: But he was another way as jewde, unclean of body; Ishbosheth, being too young a novice to deal with such a Politician chides him for it, why hast thou (saith he) gone in to my father's Concubines? Abner, privy to his deserts, could not bear it, but flourishes against him, and upbraydes him with his great exploits. Am I a dead dog, that thou so speakest to me about this woman? Is this the thank I have for my great service to thy father and his house? Must I be so taken up for halting? Thou shalt know that I have been thy Patron! God do so to me, and more, if I give thee not over, and turn to thine Enemy David! Lo, how the Devil will so pride a man in any great gift, that he will take scorn to be found fault with, looking that his merits, should plead pardon for all his defects. So it is with many women (otherwise housewife like, and commendable) that they are waspish, froward, holding their husbands at staves end, or otherwise tainted! But, will they endure to be told of it? By no means. Have I this (say they) for my providence & diligence? Nay (as joab despitefully told David in his heaviness for Absalon, so they cast their husbands in teeth) I see now, if I had been wasteful and licentious, I should have been better accepted! yea truly, a waster is not much worse than a shrew: Thrifty or unthrifty thou art little accepted, except subject and peaceable. Rather thy one virtue, should make thee more studious of others, careful to shun other vices which should fully and darken them: But they run into another vein, and ask their husbands, what if you had such a wife, so expensive and costly, as this or that man hath! Alas! what froth of a base heart is here! Who will deny, but a virtuous wife may sometimes come short of an exact housewife? Doth that argue, that such an housewife may plead it, to defend all her grosser Qualities? The Town-Clerke said well to the people of Ephesus, 
Act. 19 35.  Diana is a great Goddess indeed, who can deny it? But what's that to this confused mutiny, and outcry? So here.  
Therefore, 
Admonition to the wife against this.  O woman! if thou be so worthy, let thy right hand be ignorant, 
Evil.  what thy left hand doth: let others praise thee, not thy own lips! Thy bad qualities will sooner blemish thy good, than thy good excuse them. For who seeing a Ring of Gold in a swine's snout, wisheth it not upon some fair finger, rather than to be disgraced by the swine! It's true, that a wasteful women is the bane of her husband in one kind, but so may the thrifty in another by her shrewishnes; poison may kill, as well one, as kill many ways? And what avails it a man if he must die, that he rather is hanged, then beheaded? they are but two ways to bring to one death? And what folly is it to turn off the accusation of a fault which admits no defence, by that virtue which is neither blamed, nor aimed at! join other good parts with Providence, and then the lump shallbe holy! but one sinner destroyeth much good, one dead fly mars a great deal of sweet Ointment; as Solomon saith of two duties, so apprehend the one, as thou withdraw not thine hand from the other: 
Eccles. 7.  So I say to thee, so, lay hold on providence, that yet thou renounce not thy subjection! She that fears God shall come out of both extremes: There is no necessity that one be fallen upon by shunning the other! ungodly Improvidence is bad, and brutish drudgery is worse: The Droyle overloding herself with moiling and care, disables herself from goodness, and the improvident by her sloth, deprives herself of all opportunity, either of doing good, or taking it. The middle way is the golden way. Thus much of the second branch of the wife's providence, in matters of the world  
The third and last follows, 
Branch. 3  and that is, in the service of the married life, 
Of the woman's providence, in the conjugal life.  in the manifold passages of which, both towards his person, his state, body, life, health, name and posterity, she must be helpful. To this end she was made; Of all good couples that is verified, two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. Eccles. 4. 9 And if one fall, the other will lift him up again: And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him: and, a threefold cord is not easily broken. 
It stands in sundry particulars.  Mark, the Lord hath appointed marriage, as the union of two weak ones apart, to become a strong twist in one cord, to make one strength. This is true of all combinations, two students, two partners, two travellers, two neighbours, two friends, but, above all, most true in the married estate. In the absence of the one, the other is present; when one is down and sick, the other (commonly) is up: in the ignorance, doubts, inexperience, fears of the one, the other is an helper at hand. Two see more than one: by my wives ere, foot, hand, wisdom, I see, walk, work, contrive and dispatch businesses which else I could not. No such Vicegerent, ●ojadjutor as the wife, whether together, or asunder. Though the head hath the leading part, yet the body hath the attending part, neither without other could effect aught. The acts of marriage are reciprocal: As we see in them that handle the long saw, there must be a pair of hands reciprocating the tool, through the timber, or else no sawing it into pieces. An helper without an head, is better than an helper alone. A little to insist upon each particular.  
First the wife is to be an helper to her husband's person: even a Bulwark, 
To his person.  a Fort (in distress) of safeguard & defence. She is but a little one, but oh! shall I not escape thither and be safe? (said Lot in that storm.) So is she a covert under God against the storm and rain: She is so under covert, that yet she is a covert again: She is not terrible as Banners, but she is a safe buckler of defence against any impression of danger, of Enemy: either foreseeing and preventing, or meeting & repelling it. Despise her not, there is a blessing in her. A woman once delivered a city: another overcame an army, a third slew a Tyrant: yet there was another, a wife, Abigail, who objecting herself between her husband's side, and David's blow, saved the one and the other from bloodshed. Such a prop was that poor Shunamite, who without any din or distemper, locked up her dead child, brought home the Prophet, who restored it to life. She is not as Dalila, who bringing Samson into a sleep upon her knee, betrayed his life, saying, the Philistines be upon thee. She is a Micoll, who when her husband was escaped from Saul, laid an Image in the bed, to while the Pursuers as if he had been in bed, but thereby preserved his person from slaughter. She is a like preserver to his soul (a little to harp again upon this string) suggesting whole some counseil to it; 
Soul.  Her voice is quite contrary to that of jobs wife, 
job 2 9  Not Curse God and die: But, Continue (dear husband) in thy integrity! Be thy Crosses what thy will be, still trust, and wait, deny not the Almighty! we shall see a good end, one day. She is not as jephthah said of his poor daughter, Among them that trouble him, that damn him, and lay a snare to entrap him in sin, or consenting to him in sin, 
Act. 5. 5.  as Sapphira to Ananias: nor yet careless which end go forward, so she may compass her wicked content, as Jezabel, 
1 Kings 18.  in Naboths death, made way, for her own, and her husband's ruin. If she can keep him close to God she will: but she will never bid him curse God, renounce obedience and die. 
To his health of body.  Nextly she is an helper to his bodily health, (next under God) by keeping the precious castle of his body in good estate, for the health, strength and vigour thereof. It's a Proverb made in favour of a good wife, that if the husband look well, they say I'll hath a good wife. She is his nurse to dress and provide him savoury meat, such as his heart loveth: she knows his body, to what ails he is subject, his diseases, and distempers are known to her chiefly, she must order his diet, she must dissuade him from what is hurtful,, present what is wholesome, and that not in a seeming curiosity, but in a real, and cordial carefulness. She must be his welcomer to entertain him, from his wet and cold journeys, with warmth, with harbour, with comforts and refresh: For his heart trusts to her for it, and no colds, wets, heats or ill jorneyes can be wearisome to him, having so helpful a yoke-fellow at home to receive him. If he be sick, she is his best messenger to the Physician, best & tenderest keeper under his Physic, best cook for kitchen Physic at home, and must be the best instrument for recovery: For why? she took him not only for health and prosperity, wherein he can provide for himself, but for sickness and disasters, wherein he relies upon her helpfulness.  
Ag●ine she is as the shield of his precious Name, 
His good Name.  and good Report. Suffers no fly of her own to light upon that ointment, is impotent to endure or put up any base aspersions upon it; honours it, and the merit and repute of it hath a speriall faculty to commence and procure an high esteem of his virtues in the hearts of all especially in the hearts of such as are worthy to honour a man, and shuns all occasions which might cause the basest to defame him: she hath alwaya covering ready to carry backward upon his nakednesses and blemishes: such I say as are to be covered. And such, as she is forced to confess (as Naba●s churlishness and folly by Abigail;) she is rather haled thereto by necessity then prone to it with delight: She abhors them whose fingers always itch at the disgrace of their husbands: She chooseth to come between his folly, and his shame by catching the wound upon her own flesh, and leaving her own bleeding rather than violate his, for enduring others to derogate therfrom: she puts no great odds between the one or the other: knowing that her own cannot be entire, if his be hurt, much less thinking his loss to be her gain. Fifthly to his family she is an absolute helper by necessity, and cannot be spared: not only in point of housewivery, but also in the dispencing the Affairs of it within. 
His family.  She crosses not her husband in any labour, and education of children, she trains and instructs the tender fry (fittest for her hand) till meeter for his oversight: joins with him in his reproofs and corrections, (knowing that Satan reigns in the children by the division of parents) holds not his hand from due strokes, but bears their skin with delight, to his fatherly stripes; defends neither hers, nor his children in their sin. And yet, as the case requires, plays the kind Mediator, alienating the extremity of both words and blows lest they be discouraged, yet by consent, for the breaking of their hearts. She counts it her glory, by her lenity and love, with all innocency to keep accord between the children of divers broods, indifferently ensuing both their welfare; if not with equal nature, yet with the same conscience; not seeking to derive the current of her husband's heart to her own, but letting it have free passage to them who are equally his. She is not in words but in truth, not astepmother unto them: as loath to betray the one as the other to their father's wrath, or to Gods: rejoicing when they are furthest off the dint of either. Not as Eve, who first had inevitably betrayed all her posterity to ruin, together with herself, ere her husband knew it, and then himself. Not looking at her own maintenance, and holding the rain in her own hand, without respect what become of them, or after the death of her husband, unnaturally suffering them to perish, while her cruel eyes look on:  
Moreover she sticks close to him in all difficulties, (nay most then, 
In all difficulties.  that like to God, she may be most seen in the mount) aswell as when his successes are most prosperous; In the affront of any ill news, losses, discontents, injuries, she keeps off the dint of sorrow from his spirit, wipes away the tears trickling down his cheeks, turns off what might incense, ensues what might satisfy and give him content, and putting under her helping shoulders to bear any common burden, which must be borne. Although her own neck lie upon the block, and she suffer under any special vexation lying on her spirit, yet she abhors to be moaned or eased by outcries and dolours: rather taking it to herself, & biting it in to her own regret: then willing that for the sake of one, the whole Family should be in disquiet, saying with that wise Shunamite, God can reconcile all disproportions, be quiet my soul, by't not upon the bridle, but wait, and all shallbe well. And as a branch hereof, add this in the last place, that, if God frown upon their estate, 
Bearing hardship.  she makes no mutiny nor clamour against heaven or husband, her lot and ill Chance, (for she knows no such Goddess as fortune,) But rather by her own example in submitting to providence, to far hardly, to be attried homely, when better supply fails; she draws her husband's spirit from impatience, and unequalnes, to equanimity and subjection. In submitting of her soul to God, even when his hand is sad, and the rod is sharp, she finds sensible ease: waiting meekly till God turn the wheel, & (with Naomi) bring her home to her wont welfare. And this shall serve for a draught of the third branch of the woman's helpfulness in the conjugal conversation.  
Use. 1 Now its time to finish the Chapter with some use. And first of sharp reproof. 
Reproof.  For to this end hath the Lord framed woman as I have said; but she hath found out new inventions; and indeed she was the first that set her wits on work in this kind. Alas! how many women have we, helpful to others with the hurt of their husbands? others, helpful to their husbands, with the hurt of others? A third sort helpful to themselves, whatsoever hurt befall their husbands? And lastly, some neither helpful to themselves, nor to their husbands, but hurtful to all: but still the helpful wife is rare to come by. And, as we see that first helper of man, created most perfect, yet instantly degenerated, and became the greatest hurt to him and his, so her grandchildren still tread in her steps, so that few husband's therebe, but may say with Adam (and much more justly,) The woman thou gavest me hath undone me. If it had been a stranger, an Enemy, I could have borne it: but lo, she that are with me out of one dish, drank out of one cup, dipped her morsels in the same vinegar, lay in my bosom, and, was one with me, she hath been as rottenness to my bones, as smoke to mine eyes, and as a continual dropping. Oh! if the eye be blind, how great is that darkness? And, if she who was made for the choicest helper (for what earthly comfort is like her who is like herself) prove a plague and hurt to a man, how great must that wound prove? As the discord of brethren is therefore like the brazen bars of a Palace, (because they are in place of nearest lovers) so the hurt of a wife is unspeakebly intolerable, because she breaks that law in pieces, which ordained her to the contrary. For, there is a cursed generation of women, out of measure sinful, whose chief revenge is to whet their teen upon their husbands, and to kill their hearts, not only with despiteful tongues, but also malicious attempts, professing, they do it to cross them.  
Such as these I deny not to be helpers, 
What kind of helpers wasteful wyves are.  for they help their husbands to a sad heart, to a weary life, to bitter complaints to such as they dare trust (for if they had no bosoms to emprie it into, their hearts would break) to an empty purse, to a rotten name, to a ragged coat, they help them (ere they have done) ●o the sheet, to the stocks, to the Gallows, to hell itself, without mercy, by their several hurtful inventions. Thus was not Abigail to Nabal, (though a beast) if she had scorned him so far, as to renounce helpfulness; she would not have endangered her life for his safety; but left him to shift for himself. But such precedents as Dalila, jezabel, Jobs wife, and the like, helpless, hurtful wives, joying rather in their husband's harms, and thrusting them forward, when they are falling, better suit to many of our wives, then that out worn end of Abigails. Alas! such a pattern serves rather for wonderment, than honour & imitation. Do we not see how jolly and proud Dames, set up a private wealth to themselves with neglect of the common good of husbands and families? Have we not coy pieces, that affect a singularity of Diet, apparel, company, losty carriage, above, and apart from their husbands? Public shame (which yet now restrains most abuses) not curbing these! Are those helpers, that jolly it out and ruffle it in the misery, debts, banqueruptnes, and dejection of their husbands, brave in their ruffs and clothes when they are all ragged, costly in their fare, when they are fain to bite short, sit at the upper end of the Table, when Tom fool must stand with finger in hole behind the door? Are these helpers, or harlots, trow you! How else should it be verified of women, which is foretold of all sorts by Paul, in these latter days, They should be lovers of themselves, proud, unnatural, treacherous? What traitor is like a bosom one?  
And, well might these proverbial speeches arise, that A man may thrive, if he have his wife's good will: Or, A mant hat marries a second wife with Children, need take no thought to purchase house and land. These argue that although the case may be otherwise in many wives, yet generally it is dangerous, especially in second marriages with widows.  
Use. 2 Secondly, be it exhortation to all that would be good wives, that they be helpful ones. As once that worthy Divine Master Perkins wrote upon his study door, 
Ex●●rtation.  Thou art a Minister of the word, that do: so should a good wife upon her palms and fringes, for an helper thou wert made, this look to, mind the end of thy creation, carry it with thee as thy charge, I was made for an helper. Not for an helper on way, and an hurter, ten: but an only helper. So that as Law is the soul of the state, the soul is wholly and in each finge of the body, so should my helpfulness begin at husband, and animate all the family. But especially it should be the life of my husband; his soul I am bound chiefly to help, by godly counsel: his spirit I must help, by my cheerful behaviour: his body I must cherish with my best benevolence; his name I must tenderly honour, his sorrows I must wisely mitigate; his joys, I must sympathise; his dangers, I must prevent, his health and state I must uphold: and when I have thus done, as the Bee gathering honey, as the Sheep bearing a fleece, as the Ox ploughing the ground, as the builder framing the house, not for their own uses, but the commodity of others; so must the helpful wife, all these I have done, not for myself, but for my husband. Yea look what instinct Nature, Art, hath put into these creatures, that hath grace and helpfulness put into me. An helper I was made for, this oh Lord, let me look to! If I do it of a willing virtuous mind, there is praise! If not, yet a necessity is laid upon me, and, woe to me, if I be not an helper? who ever shunned or waived the end of their creation, but vengeance pursued them as traitors to Nature, to heaven! I was not made for myself, but for another: each part of the house claiming a part of me. As he said once to a coy Virgin, thy virginity is not all thine to dispose of: in part it's thy parents, father hath a stroke in it, mother another, and kindred a third: Fight not against all, but be his, whom they would have thee. So say I to thee being a wife and an helper: Thy womanhood, thy helpfulness is not thine, it's thy husbands, his body, state, posterity claim it from thee: he lays claim to all, not as that Tyrant did, all thy wife's silver and gold is mine: but as one that is invested in all thou hast by peculiar providence. I live not by rule or examples: the unhelpfull shall not teach me to be a hurter: the helpful shall not so teach me as if I followed for their sake only, but for his, who hath subjected me to helpfulness.  
Use 3 Lastly, its encouragement to all good wives, to look off from the degenerate practice of this world, 
Encouragement to helpful wives.  which might pull them from this virtue; If she be such an helper to thee, oh husband, as I have said, comfort thyself in her, comfort and encourage her thyself against all dismayments. And if she be so towards a lewd companion who hath not the grace to prize her: let me here from God encourage her. God requite thee poor soul, for the world cannot, thine husband will not. God make his way the strength of the upright, in the thankfulness of both: Thou canst do no more than thou canst: If a bad husband will yet ruin all, well, yet as long as thou couldst, thou hast held cart on wheels: The Lord shall be thy helper, the strong helper of an helpful wife: Others shall help thee: Thou shalt not be forsaken in thy greatest straits. And touching this second duty of the wife, viz. helpfulness, so much.   

CHAP. XV.  
Concludeth with the third and last Several Duty of the wife, to wit, her Gracefulness.  
I Conclude now the discourse about the several duties of the woman to the man: 
The third peculiar duty of the wife, gracefulness.  whereof this is the last, to wit her gracefulness. The former alone without this, will make a good drudge, but this added thereto will make a good wife. They say, he who hath gotten both profit and pleasure together (for they are not always joined) hath hit the nail on the head. But in a wife, I am sure it is so: if she be useful by her housewifery, 
W●v●s must be gracious and graceful.  and cheerful by her graceful amiableness, she is right and strait indeed, and well accomplished. Some, yet none of the worst housewives are none of the most graceful creatures: their droil always hangs about them, as an ague in the bones: and others amiable and cheerful enough, are yet none of the most huswifely and helpful: as the apples of Sodom if they be but touched with a finger to be useful, they moulder to ashes. The former are good droiles to dispatch business, the other pretty Idols to look on. But the compound of these two hath no fellow, to reconcile into one an helpful gracefulness, and a graceful helpfulness. Of all other duties, I need least insist, in proving that this woman makes her marriage honourable: and therefore, that she is bound to improve herself in this kind to the uttermost, for the attaining of it. This virtue of itself speaks (as Abel being dead) without words. 
What gracefulness is.  This third gift is nothing else, save that complexion and lustre which ariseth and reboundeth from the mixture of the graces of a woman, duly compounded. As from the well mixed Elements ariseth bodily temperament, and from the blood well mixed in the face ariseth beauty: so from a well tempered spirit in a woman ariseth this gracefulness. As once that Philosopher said, if virtue could be seen with the eye, it would ravish a man with admirable loves of her: so the graces of a woman breaking through her, and appearing in the conversation, are able to ravish any spirit that is not a stoic, a Nabal. A little then first of the Materials, then of the true form and temper itself of this gracefulness.  
For the former: 
Two things in this.  Grace must needs be the matter of it. But, what grace? Surely graces fly together as birds of a feather, 
Matter of it, Grace.  and link as the pieces of a chain: yet there be pearls which shine more than their fellows: and some graces, do more befriend, and beautify a good wife than other. The first may be humility and a meek spirit, for what is more unwomanly, 
Humility.  unpleasing, than a mannish heart of stoutness and stomach? 
1 Pet. 3. 4.  and what so decketh a woman, as that whereby she is of great esteem with God himself? So is she that walks in a due and daily sense of her infirmities, a modest concealment of her graces. Not Saul's tallness, but hiding himself a way from honour did most grace him. Not a scholars art, opened all at once, but the concealment of it, most graceth him. So, not a woman's parts, but that so frail a creature should be above all that's in her, is as the varnish which makes all the picture so amiable. Why do we think Greek and Hebrew ill bestowed upon a woman? save, that its above her ordinary sex to know it, and to know herself too: yet if I should behold a woman of excellent parts of learning, and yet to be as one that knew not her own knowledge, but drowned all in the spiritual sense of her corruption, I should think I saw a rare object. She is little in her own eyes: yet that littleness makes her greater in God's eye, preciouser in man's, than that great gift with which she is furnished. A second grace is selfdeniall. 
Self denial.  A mere scholar is grown into a character of disdain: and so is every other thing that is mere: a mere woman, is an homely sight because ordinary. But a woman above a woman, her wits, and abilities: and especially a woman above her wrath, envy, self-love and passions: a woman above her gain, pleasures, earthly contents: having all, and yet above all: pestered with all, and yet overcoming all, is an object of admiration. The spirit of God to affect our spirits, presents strange objects in his word, women Captains, warrior's Conquerors: what a pretty thing it is to see jael to master a great General of the field with her Hammer & Naile? 
judges 4. 21.  Deborah to sit and judge Israel? what a miracle was our maiden Queen Elizabeth to the world? Why! but because we think we see, and can scarce believe our eyes in seeing those virtues which were admirable in the Man, to reside in a weak sex, as it were out of place? So, the Lord presents to us in his word his masterpieces, an Abigail without sword or bow, conquering a Conqueror, and leading him captive, with her self-denial, and wisdom. And in experience we see here and there one (as a berry, or an olive, left behind) who can master a fierce husband's anger, by her long suffering and selfdeinall: one that can rule her passions, which rule all sorts. Why? save that we might admire our God as much in the Aunt's sagacity, as the Elephant's strength? If he who can overcome himself, then much more she who can do so, is greater, than he who hath overcome a city! Oh not always in great things is goodness: but always in good is greatness, especially when that good is also little!  
A third grace of a woman is faith both for the t●u●h of it and for the life of it. 
Faith  For the former, what more worth than precious faith? Paul saith its not of all, women or men: it's a flower growing in the gardens, 
For the truth of it.  a precious jewel worea in the bosoms of very few of this sex. 
2. Pet. 1. 2.  What can calm the soul save pardon and grace from the promise of a Father, the blood of a Mediator? 
2. The●●. 3. 2.  What can make a woman peaceable and of a quiet frame, save because all is well, between God and herself? And what is that grace which settles the soul in this grace save faith, the fruit of the lips, and mother of peace? They say there was once a famous Lady in the English court, that calmed the differences of all the courtiers, and therefore they called her jone-makepeace. This lady faith is that lady jone: a meet ornament, not for court only but country also. jone-makebates each house is full of, but of Makepeaces, very few. Oh this grace's absence, makes all amort! women's unquietness of nature, wrath, scold and distempers, come not so much from outward causes, or inward humours, as for lack of this lady faith. Their hearts are wicked, casting up mire and dirt in the family, like the raging sea, casting up her own foam, and all, because the peace of God which passeth understanding, and settling the soul by faith, is wanting. Some what they once had, in creation, have lost it by corruption, cannot recover it by faith, and this disquiets them: the loss of a pig, a chicken will vex by consent, because there is a worse vexer within. But, as we know, if a woman had found a pearl worth an hundreth pound, she would be overjoyed, (Christ speaks but of a groat) so that, if she should hear she had lost one of her goslings, it would little affect her: so, if this faith were within the bosom, the losses of toys, the occasions of common anger in the family would cease. That would change all, as Christ calmed the sea.  
And secondly, for the life of it, what gold is so precious, as is the trial of faith: 
For the life of ●t.  Marriage is as full of troubles, as a Crown of cares. Sorrow there is sufficient to each day: to a woman by name, breeding, bearing, bringing forth: many losses she meets with, false aspersions, fear of debts, wrong of ill neighbours and enemies, deprival of health, her dearest children, sundry diseases, ill successes: what were then the life of a woman under all these but misery, if she believed not in the son of God, and hoped for a good end? That although she cannot say, 
isaiah. 63. 3.  All is, yet she may say, All shallbe well, when the hour of Redeemed ones is come. This life of faith will make the bush though it burn, yet not to consume, and will bring the Son of God to walk with her in the hot furnace, who will keep away the savour as well as the power of fire from them. Therefore Sara and the widow of Zarepta, and of Shunem, and Rebecca, are brought in as believers in that cloud of witnesses, 
Heb. 11.  as well as Abraham, and Isaac, and jacob. So base is that speech of some Atheists, that women must meddle with no faith, but wrap themselves up in their husbands.  
A fourth grace is Innocency, and truth. A compound of two in one. The one is a breastplate of defence, the other a Golden Girdle to gird all other graces of God's spirit close to her. 
Grace. Innocency.  These I grant are pieces or Armour for Champions: but I understand myself to speak of women Captains and conquerors, as I told you before: and you know faith is no effeminate grace (though feminine) but overcomes the world. And why should a shield of Faith (which serves to defend both the body and the Armour of it too) go without a Breastplate, and a girdle? Deborah if she will go into the field, she must be armed, and a woman is not free from assaults, and peril, shot and darts, aswel as a man, in this field of the world: therefore must learn to put on this armour. God hath no other for men than women: though women must not put on men's apparel, yet they must be clad in the same armour of light. That will make them shot-free. The Emperor Charles the 5. went among the thickest of his soldiers, and told his men, That a true Emperor was never shot with a Bullet. But I am sure of this, That this Breast plate is armour of proof: An innocent, hermelesse, quiet woman, shall not be ashamed to meet her enemies in the gates, yea though it were of hell; when things come to be debated, her uprightness and righteousness shall deliver her: Innocency shallbe her defence against evil tongues abroad, & truth against an ill conscience within; whereas the guilty and treacherous woman will betray herself, and lose the day. That very harlot, true in nothing, but that she was the infant's moth, ●by her truth escaped the swords censure. A miescheevous woman, or a woman-lyar, who can endure? And who would not go or ride a far journey to see this other warlike woman. Those Heroines of whom story and Poets so talk, as Penthesilea and the like, were not so graceful a sight, nor those Amazons, that seared off one dug that they might shoot, were no such spectacles as these women, clad in innocency, and truth. Their name is more fragrant, then sweet ointment, and there is no dead fly to make it stink.  
A fifth grace is zeal and pretty. For the former, it serves to make the woman a stirring housewife for God, 
Zeal and pretty.  as Diligence makes her so for her husband. Meekness in her own matters, well becomes her who is earnest in Gods. If a woman man would be hot and fiery, let her turn it to God, and for his cause, and this will make her cool and calm in her own. As bleeding on the arm by art, stops unnatural bleeding by flux: so zeal for God, cools the heat of corrupt passion to man. This grace becomes this sex, the rather, because it argues truth of grace: for else calmness of her frame, naturally carries her to flatness and fulsomeness. It must be with a Christian woman, as it is in nature with the female sex of the creatures. Nature hath put a fierceness into the female because of the impotency thereof: therefore the she Bear, the Lioness, are the most raging, and cruel. But grace makes that natural impotency of the woman, turn impotency for God: as to provoke her husband with sweet affections for his servants and worship. 
1 King. 17. 9  It was a great praise for the sex, that God would send his Prophet in the famine, rather to try the piety of the widow of Zareptha an heathen, than any of the sons of Israel. And it was the honour of those wealthy women Joanna the wife of Herod's Steward, 
Luke 8. 3.  and other the like to be the pious supporters of the Lord jesus his body, when he had not whereon to lay his head. And at this day, if estimation be made, God is as much if not more honoured with the forwardness of women, then of men: their nature (being fearful) hath ever been proner to superstition: as in Ezekiel, those women that wept from Tammuz, those devout Grecian Gentlewomen stirred up by the jews, against Paul: and where they are out of the way, none are worse: But grace overruling corruption, turns superstition into zeal and devotion, into religion, and then its comely.  
men's spirits are hardy, 
men's hearts not generally so tendet and zealous as women's, if they be right.  do not so easily fear Majesty, tremble at judgemnts, believe promises, eat sin, love good, as women: so that when they are in the way, none are better: none sooner embrace the Gospel, if it come a new to a place, none more readily join together in communion, none more tender hearted to the distressed, and such as suffer for Christ's name. God hath his women that wove scarlet and twined linen for his Tabernacle, as Manasseh had for his Idols. Oh! how sweet a sight is it to see these Votaries, not of the Pope, but the Lord jesus! who can think of that honourable Countess of Richmond and Derby without admiration: the founder of so many Colleges and Hospitals. I omit to speak of all: whose praise is in the gospel? we have many worthy momen in our days, exceeding men in these pieties and zealous duties? Oh go on! hold your daily intercourse with God keep quarter with heaven, have your conversation where your treasure is: and with that famous piece of devotion, old Anna, a widow who for above sixty year, dwelled in the Temple, and ceased not to fast and pray: go on, some of you had need to do it for your husbands and yourselves too, for surely they do it but little! The closet of a good woman graceth her more to frequent, than her still-house, kitchen, or parlour: for therein she plays the good housewife for her own soul; being much in meditation there, in prayer, in brokenness of heart, confession, renewing of Covenant. As for Micol, who scorns zeal in her husband, hath none in herself, oh let not thy soul come into her counsel.  
Suitable to this piety to God, is mercy and compassion to his Saints, 
Grace: Mercy and Compassion.  when the former, Psal. 16. 2. falls short of God, let the later be tendered to his Assigns, and Attorneys, the Saints. So saith Bathsheba, she stretcheth out her hand to the poor, yea reacheth it far to the needy. Some women clothe their own with scarlet, but suffer the poor to go in rags. Surely cotton or course cloth, or canvas, is due to these, if scarlet to them. Turn scarlet rather to common cloth, than the poor go oaked. Women, especially Ministers wives (who if bad, of all other commonly are worst) must think themselves meant, 
Math. 25. 36.  when Christ saith, I was naked, hungry, in prison, poor, and sick; and, you clothed, fed, visited, relieved me! Be blessed women if you be wise. Your husbands make you their almoners and stewards, beware you prove not thiefs, that the poor should curse you. A gift comes more tenderly from thee to a poor soul, then from thine husband. What sight of the basest Miser is so irksome, as of an hard hearted woman? And what ornament so becoming a tender sex, as a merciful heart, to give, and to give tenderly in compassion, abundantly to six and seven? Both are Bowels: and a woman should have more (by right) than men. 
Act. 9 ●6.  Tabytha began betimes, God would not have her die, perhaps lest wives might lose the honour and example of mercy. If being a maid she had so many good works to show, of linen clothes made for the poor, what did she being a wife? And especially let women be harberours' to all, which belong to the household of faith, but above all to poor of her own sex, women or widows: It's no ill sight to see you in Prisons: But if you cannot go to others, send not them away empty, who come to you!  
And to make an end, what grace should a Christian wife think strange? But say as he once did, A man I am, and I deem no gift of a man unbeseeming me. 
Confidence with others.  So thou woman speak: I see not but it becomes me to be loving, patient, wise, wary, prudent, thankful: These are ingredients into the conversion, as those spices reckoned up by Moses, to make the holy ointment, and to cause thee to smell sweetly in the nostrils of God, thy husband, and all sorts! one other St. Peter mentions, confidence in God, the sister of faith even now mentioned: They trusted in God, and walked without amazement (he means such carnal and distrustful fears as that sex is full of: 
1. Pet. 3. 5, 6. ) Their daughters are you, if you tread in their steps. As the eye of thine own handmaid is always awefully carried to thee, waiting for acceptance, and, and then she is safe: so let her teach thee (as God's handmaid) to carry thine towards him: for the support of thy Spirit, in the whole wheel of thy conversation, for all other Gifts aswell as these, to make it strong as the staves do the cart wheel, that it crack not in pieces. More spices might have been brought forth: but by these you may guess whereof a woman's sweet powder is made: let us haste to the Confection.  
For, as, not the single spices, but the Apothecary's skill made God's ointments, 
Form is temperature of them.  so, not only these mere graces, but the medley of them, the temper of that spirit arising from them, is that thing which makes the wife so graceful. This must come from that wise & alsufficient skill of the spirit of grace, which must teach her reins in the night season, and put into her the spirit of gracefulness: He who hath given a gift to the Bee to dispose that honey she hath gathered from all flowers, in so wise a manner, that her workmanship makes all the beholders to admire it; must in an higher kind teach her to make her graces into one compound and temper; I say must enable her to lay them all so sweetly together, and order her whole marriage course by the help of them; that both every one may afford her special influence into it, and all of them together may make her face to shine, and the beauty thereof to appear graceful to all the beholders. She must beg of God this spirit by Prayer: and as all the loose flowers of the Nosegay must be wisely ordered and put together, and then bound together with a thread, that they scatter not: 
Is, the sweet union of all into one compound.  So the spirit of wariness and wisdom must gird the loose loins of her soul closely together, and teach her to accommodate herself to every occasion offered, in a suitable correspondence, 
Act. 22. 28.  that there be no gulf nor interruption, no unequalness nor disproportion in her carriage. No man shall need to paint an exact beautiful face: nor teach her that is fair, to show it forth, it shows itself to all naturally without trouble. As Paul told Lisias: That he was borne a free man of Rome, it cost him nothing: so where an heart is furnished with grace, it will without any difficulty express it, and cast her savour abroad: That which will make an hypocrite to toil and sweat, comes from grace with sweetness, and facility; yet I deny not but as that Glyceris showed great skill in compounding the flowers of her posies, and the jewels of a Crown must be skilfully set into it, to make it glorious: so, the more careful the woman shallbe to mark the circumstances, the seasons and all the occasions of her life so much the more wisely she shall be able to apply each of these graces to their objects, and show forth the lustre of all in her general carriage. And such as are the ingredients, such must needs the compound be, if skill and discretion order it well. Now, the expression of all these in one is amiableness: that is the way whereby she utters herself, and in it, the lovely blush of them all appears: humbly amiable, mercifully amiable, amiable in the comely carriage of all, (as her body is in the wearing of the most costly and best suited attire) most comely and pleasing. Especially when the grace of this grace is added to it, that this is not in a pang, or good mood, when all goes well, but comes from a principle within, which causes her to go on in an uniform course: so that look how you see her at one time, you see her at another: she is always herself: and as a Virgin of a comely face, although she be all blubbered with tears, she loseth not her beauty, but by the contrary, doth commend it: so, although the occasions of her life are sad aswell as cheerful, yet the cloud doth not disannul the sun, but causes it to shine thorough with a more acceptable grace. So far I say as weak flesh mixed with much corruption will admit. 
Use of this point.  And this forth latter.  
What shall I then say for Conclusion of this former part of my text that the married wives must honour their Marriage by this amiable behaviour? 
Instruction.  Surely it instructeth us in and about the variety of couples in marriage: 
D●fference of Couples wherein it stands.  The odds is as great as the difference of the Prophet's baskets of figs, very good and very naught, so that they could not be eaten. The gracious wife is not only an helper to the Estate of her husband; ●ut she is a Co●fort and contentment to his mind and spirit: she lies in his bosom as a bag of sweet spices under his Armholes, as a perfumed garment to his nostrils, as the spikenard of the spouse in the Canticles which gave her savour to the beloved, 
Cant.  when he lay upon his bed. Hence it is that Solomon, compares her not only to the most costly, but especially to the most comely things which Nature hath made. All her teeth, her forehead, lips, neck, bosom, thighs, legs, yea even her very goings, are pleasing in his eye: he compares her to the lilies, to the washed sheep, to the Roes of the Mountains, to the Doves, to the Cedars, to the Curtains of Solomon, and every lovely, amiable thing: All to show that amiableness and gracefulness is that principal excellency which commends a wife to her husband's esteem and affection: without the which the rest were little worth: In other things she hath a mixture of herself: but in this she resembles him who hath restored her to her first order and comeliness in her creation. A creation which no outward wealth or price can purchase; nothing in the world can equal the reflection of those graces, and the savour of that report which came from her. They are in her, not for her: as the flowers of a garden serve to garnish the house▪ so these grow in her for his use (her husbands) to adorn and grace his person, that he may be known in the gates. All that City, which knew Ruth to be a virtuous woman, knew Booz to be an happy man in her: himself thinking no less when he told her so. Her virtues indeed shine within her own sphere and centre chiefly: yet, the influence thereof, is as that oil of Aaron, which stayed not where it was first laid, upon his head, but wet the whole attire, and earth about. And, as that box of costly ointment, though only poured upon the feet of Christ, yet made the whole house savour of it: so the temper which ariseth of the simplieity, meekness, modesty of a good wife, makes her amiable to such as never saw her face. It's as the vices of the bad wife, which like oil in the palm of ones hand, cannot be hid.  
chose, 
What a bad graceless wife is.  an unhappy husband falls alone, nor in himself, so much, as in his vicious wife: who creates abroad dishonour, at home discontent to him. The best man, thus plagued shall hardly avoid one of these imputations, either that he is unworthy of a good one, because he makes her no better: or unhappy, because she is no better: the one is his sin, the other his shame, both his sorrow. She is neither comfort to him at home, because he is an eyewitness of what he would not, nor abroad, being forced to stop his nose at the ill savour of he vices, as Ahigail at Nabals' churlishness. Neither can he be, but as the body sitting upon a rolling stone, which is never at rest but always in conflict with himself, with wrath and despair; yet there is no way to be rid of such, either in the getting, or having, except God show a man favour, that a man fall not into her hands. So much for information. But from this another use arises.  
And that's admonition to good wives and happy husbands, 
Admonition.  thus much: 
Graceful wives must express it to then husbands.  To the good wife, this, if God have thus graced thee, enjoy it not thyself, but set a Crown upon thine husband, express the temper of thy inward virtues, in the amiableness of a loving and sweet carriag. Forget it not even in affliction, utter it even in the midst of bodily weakness: Let thy pleasing influence break through all opposition and sorrows, as the Sun breaks through the thick mist, or dark clouds, yea although eclipsed in part, yet shine in part, and let a glimmering appear; remember, thou art a true friend, made for the day of adversity; it is not so thankeworthy for thee, to cheer thine husband, when he can cheer thee, or himself without thee while the day of prosperity lasts; but then to play the sweet orator, and to make him merry, when all other comforts have forsaken him, in the sad season of sickness, of sorrow; this is better than all music and melody. Every base bird (while summer lasts) will chirp and chitter: But to sing upon the bare bow, or thorn bush, when the leaves are gone, and the cold winter approacheth, this argues a wife truly graceful, truly amiable and cheerful, and (next to the Souls peace with God) is the greatest content under the Sun. I exhort no woman to play the hypocrite (neither indeed can gracefulness be long acted by any apish imitator.) But, I entreat her, whom God hath thus graced, to understand the use she serves for, not concealing herself, but to the uttermost to apply herself, 
Husbands that are happy in the grace of the●r wives, must return the like.  to the comfort of her husband. And for himself, this I say, If God hath thus honoured thee with such a wife, understand (oh man) thine own happiness, and digest it seriously, with thanks to him, who hath framed her so, and brought her so framed, into thy bosom! Let her find by good experience, there is no love lost; but, let thy heart rest in her and trust to her: seal her a bond of thy sure and faithful respect, again, and let her see, she hath not a wearisome Nabal to do with, who cannot value that which is precious in her at a due rate. Set her as a signet on thy right hand, and let her be nearer thine heart, than thy costliest jewel. Let it not be enough that thou canst love one, who hath honoured thee, more than all thy wealth, or birth could do, but, procure her honour in all places, and suffer none to eclipse her worth. Give her of the work of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. And, so much be spoken for the use of this third Branch, and so, touching the mean, to preserve the honour of Marriage, by the duties which concern each party in several.  
And thus, 
General uses of the whole greatise.  having at last absolved this Task which I undertook, to wit, to show, how Matrimonial honour may both be purchased and preserved entire, viz: first by a wife Entrance marrying in the Lord, and aptly in the Lord; as also by wise watching to the Duties, both of common nature, reaching to them both; and in special, pertaining to either; let me conclude the whole treatise with an item to both sorts: First, all ye, that are apt, religious, joint worshippers of God, 
Reproof and Admonition to good Couples.  who love each other, are chaste, and consenting in the general: also who in special, are understanding, provident, respective husbands, subject, helpful, graceful wives: Let me say this unto you both, I doubt not, but in the reading of my former treatise, 
Branch 1.  you willingly hear of other unhappy couples; yourselves better married: But, which of you in thus reading look up to God, or acknowledge such a blessing, with due thankfulness? Which of you do but suppose, (as it is not amiss to suppose, what might have been or what may be) or say within yourselves, If ●he Lo●d had not provided better for some of us, than we deserved, than we desired, given us good companions, before ever we knew what the misery of bad, 
Look out and compare your lot with others.  or the worth of good ones meant: yea, if he had not been better to us most unworthy, than he hath been to more worthy than ourselves, (whom he saw fitter to bear, to profit by the cross, than ourselves were) oh, what had become of us? Oh! Nabals, La●ecs, Zippora's, jebazels, had swallowed up our sou●s, spirits, peace, welfare, thrift and all! The continual vexitions of bad heads, daily dropping of bad wives had oppressed us! Alas? And why hath the Lord done this? Surely not for any good he saw, or foresaw in us, but because he knew how unmeet we were to honour him, under such a chain!  
Why then, do we not more magnify his providence, and wonder at his love, who hath so guarded us! There being so few apt couples in the world, that our lot should be to light upon no unapter; there being so many bad ones, that we should light upon no worse? Is not this mercy? Was it a golden blessing at first, in our own sense and confession, and is it become a leaden one now, after, ten, twenty, thirty; yea forty years experience? Do rich Pearls fall in price? Could such mercy be better spared now then it might thirty years a go? Have we had the stock of good marriage now 20. years, and come far shorter in the Tribute of praise, thanks, and fruit, then when we first entered? There be 4. ages of each marriage, through the sin of the married, the first golden, the next silver, the third brass, the last iron! At first couples begin with precious affections to God, to each other, join much in duty, cleave closely each to other, mutually excite each other to zeal & good works, and pay their vows: well then, nextly God's part weakness and decays, and they hold mutual marriage-love hardly. Then thirdly both God's part and their own fail too, and they wax fulsome, and formal in both: But lastly, and before they die, the Devil will fail of his will but he will make them both, loose, carnal, profane and scandalous! consider this! how many Marriages of great hope and solemnity, have by these Declensions proved stark naught at last, when indeed they should have proved best, and by degrees come to perfection. Let it be a sad Item to such as enter well, to beware, lest they trust too much to their own wisdom and strength, which will lay them in the dirt, ere they be a ware.  
Again, how little do we condole the unhappiness of mismatched couples? 
Condole the unhappiness of others.  Yea even Christians, better than ourselves? Rather ready to disdain and scorn them, then to condole and pity them? As those two Aaron and Miriam, fell a cavilling at Moses for his Aethiopain wife? Why? Had he not sorrow enough before? Was this to mourn with him, or rather to add more burden thereto? Was it not from God? And were they to quarrel at it? Even so it fareth with many. That which should provok tenderness, love, fellow-feeling & compassion in men rather causeth disdain, indignation, alienating and estrangement of heart, & deserting of fellowship! Why I pray? Do they stoop under their burden so deeply, that they are oft ashamed to complain, and dost thou trample upon them? Dost thou judge them afflicted of God, and humbled for sin? Knowing thy wisdom and choice was no wh●t better? Thy success only was happier in providence? No: but as thyself in the like affliction wouldst be handled, so deal thou! Bear their burden, associate their persons, use all means to reconcile their spirits, to compound their differences, to reduce them to mediocrity and indifferency of affection's! many couples had proved happier, if even such as were nearest them had not rather made them objects of abhorring, then of compassion! A great sin! and mean to aggravate, yea exasperated those seeds of evil, which disproportion at the first was like to kindle too much! Pray, pray rather for mercy, and strength to guide, and carry them through! For how hardly couldst thou digest those morsels once, which must be their daily diet? Wilt thou eat thy sweet bits alone, and so little wish them to such as want them wholly! Once a man enjoying sweet marriage, thought seriously of another friend, that never married: a viling himself as base in respect of him that seemed to be above the need of that which himself could neither well want, nor thankfully improove! 
R. R. of I. K.  How much more shouldst thou then pray for such as would fain enjoy, that which no creature can help them withal?  
Moreover, if, not our worth, but rather our weakness hath moved the Lord to show us this mercy, 
And be h●mb●●d.  how doth the sense of our weakness humble us? How do we esteem of the grace of God, in such, as although but ill married, yet do walk more wisely, under that cross, and do grow daily, more humble and wary, and purge out much dross out of themselves which perhaps the blessings of God purge not out of us, but rather make us sleep securely in the love of them? As pride, hypocrisy, self-love and sensuality? what if we whose portion is better, do yet make a slighter matter of it, and turn it into wantonness? How just were it with God, to bereave us of our sweet companions, leaving us to pass the rest of our days, either in solitariness with snares (so that we should bring our grey heads to the graves with dishonour, (as many have done) or in marriage more sad and sorrowful the latter part of our life, than ever it was comfortable in the former part thereof? Could we well brook such sauce, and sour herbs? yet fit for such as have eaten our former dainties with such unthankfulness? verily, the experience I have had of second or third matches which have betided some husbands have made me to think of our Saviour's words to Peter, 
joh 21. 18.  when thou wert young, thou girdedst thyself, and went at thy pleasure: But when thou art old, another shall bind thee and lead thee whither thou wouldst not! Surely when thou art old its ill ending, it were better beginning with it in thy youth, if God would! Yet so it is, many have been fain to hang up the harps of their youth, upon the wislowes of sad marriage in old age, and sing, this new life requi●es other manners, other abearing: before, I was carried upon Eagles wings, now I must shift for myself: my battles were once wont to be fought to my hand, but now, I must know war, and fight my own. Now I am tried indeed, what is in my heart, what patience, what selfe-deniall is in it, yea my best wits to please, to conceal what I cannot amend, and all too little! Do you wonder? Who should have told you, that a good wife was worth the thanks while you had her? Or that she was any better jewel, than you thought you deserved, till she was taken away? If nothing, but wanting can convince your folly, why should not medicine cure your malady.  
To end this former branch. If yourselves have sped well in a business of such hazard, 
Guide others to good Choice.  why do you not guide others by your experience to make a good choice? you will say, marriage make are thankless offices! I grant it, that if all I have premised be true, I think some may con them small thank, who have holpen them to their marriages: But, as hard as the world goes, and although all hopes must rest upon proof, yet by your leave, some may give a shrewder guess than others, 
2. King. 7.  and say more touching aptness or unaptness: howsoever, I say to you as those Lepers, having stored themselves with victuals and booty: we do not well to suffer our brethren to starve! And although the best care may miscarry: yet the care is in no fault, but rather much worse it must be, where Counsellors are wanting.  
Secondly, 
Branch 4.  I say to all such good couples, be wise: l●ve, love, 
Exhortation to live, love, and leave.  and leave. What hath a man of all his sore labours, under the Sun? or what profits it, to spend our life in needless toil and vexation? Live first, in the joyful improovement of all those graces and blessings, where with God hath endowed you. Take and mutually possess each others virtues: grow by the help of others more inward, holy, useful in the communion of Saints. Let your streams flow to others, enjoy not all to yourselves. Love secondly: endear your hearts in each other mutually: Suffer not Satan to come between bark and tree, and through a satiety of Blessings, to turn all to weariness and fulsomeness: to grow estranged in your affections: yea, ready to take pritches at each other, forgetting God's love to you both: If some had those advantages we have (should you say, of consent and peace) oh! what a close walking with God would it produce, without separation, whereas we vanish? how would they settle religion, and government of family, which they would and cannot, we might, and will not? Leave lastly, each other, willingly and contentedly, when God shall determine your short pilgrimage; which will so much the easilier be, if you have lived and loved before! the parting will be bitter however: yet much worse, if all be to be done at death: Sweeter will the parting be, upon experience of former marriage improovements; then upon guilt of remediless errors! But I say, the time is short, use the world, 
1 Cor. 7. 21.  as if you used it not, buy as if you bought not, marry as if you married not; do all moderately: knock off before, unloose in season: There hath been a time of embracing, there must come another far from it. By that rejoicing you have had in Christ, 
Eccles. 2. 5.  die daily; and tell each it other in your best rejoicing: I bid you not do as heathens, set a skull before you on your marriage day: with a Motto: What I have been, thou art: and, what I am thou shalt be! But know, marriage happiness is but the liberty of a prison. Squeeze it not too hard, lest you force blood: use it slightly and it will comfort you. Say not its good being here, build not Tabernacles, Matth. 17. 4. Let not death knock unawares; Its pity, a man should be in love with shells on the shore, as to forget the sip, and be swept away: or love the husband here, forgetting Christ: a carnal relation, renonuncing an eternal!  
Use 3 This point also, (to conclude all) is instruction, to shadow out the privilege of them who are united to Christ by the marriage of faith and the spirit. 
Instruction.  It's a mystery, as Paul calls it. 
Marriage is a shadow of that uniō of Christ and the Church.  And, as sometimes he teaches married persons their duties by the mutual union of Christ and the Church: so also, another while he describes the true union and Amity of Christ and the spouse, by the samenes of flesh, which marriage causeth between husband and wife. A word or two of both: and first how Christ and his spouse meet. For, look how Eli●zer was a spokesman between Isaac and Rebecca, 
In their meetings and marriage.  to draw her into a marriage knot with him: and as he carried the Bracelets and tokens sent in Isaac's name, to allure her to him: also declared the abundant wealth of Abraham, in cattle, gold and jewels, all to bestow upon his only son Isaac: that so the richness and content fullness of the match might persuade Rebecca: So doth the Lord by his spokesmen the Messengers, reveal to his Church by his spirit, all his wealth and Treasures of wisdom and knowledge: all put into the flesh of the Lord jesus, and tells her 1. Cor. 1. all the goods which he hath given us in him: that he may thereby surprise her heart, and gain her to be his; he sets out his son from head to foot in all amiableness of person and graces, that his eyes and looks might wound her, and steal her heart away from trash and toys of the world.  
It is he who not only so, 
And how,  but where as he found her unapt for himself, an Amorite, an Hittite, in her blood, a base Captive: he shaves off her hair, pares her nails, washes her, and makes her clean: he bestows her dowry upon her, (not as men upon their wyves) for they look for it from them, thinking them little without it: he discovers the miserable, desolate, and forlorn life of her woeful uriginity, wherein as an orphan, she lay open to all enemies, all wrongs and injuries: convinces her, that her support and welfare is merely from himself: Nay tells her that she was engaged before to a most cursed husband, who would have undone her: he undertakes to stab him, and to make her way clear, for the marriage of himself, the old contract being dissolved: He becomes an earnest suitor, an hot lover of hers, and refuses no patience, to win her: even till his locks be full of the dew of the night: All to make her his own, his only one: that having renounced (not only base qualities, but) her own father's house, herself, her name, and all her own happiness, he may be happy in her, and she in him alone, (for he can endure no corryvall) and so be married without any fear of ever being divorced. He causesher heart, by this Attractive, and these cords of a man, to resolve upon the match: She than inclines to him, she can say neither more nor less save that it is from the Lord; she begins to chide herself for her so long ignorance of his worth, unacquaintance with his excellencies: little enquiring after such a person: now he needs no arguments, for she cannot pardon herself, that she knew him no sooner, she casts off all her colours and covers of shame, and resigns up herself fully, freely and for ever to be his: abhorring herself, and wondering that such a person can love such a sorry spouse, 
Their mutual Converse.  she counts all others as dung, they all stink unto her in comparison of him alone: and therefore consents to his motion, believing she shall find no other of him, than she hath apprehended him to be. This touching the meeting.  
And upon this her consent Christ and his spouse live and love together: 
What Christis ●o the Church  for Christ takes her to himself, from that day forward, even home to himself, and shows her his dwelling, making her glad in the tents of her mother, as Isaac did Rebecca in Sara's tent: he marries her to himself in righteousness, compassion, faithfulness and love: he puts a robe about her, and a ring upon her hand, a tire upon her head, shoes upon her feet: furnishes her with all his treasure: kills the fat calf, makes her a royal feast, of all fat things, of refined wines; even his Sacraments: he endowes her with all he hath, takes her both for better, to rejoice in her graces: and for the worse to cover all her infirmities, to make a great praise of her poorest virtues, judging her by them, and not the other: undertaks for all her debts: none may sue her, but in his name, who answers all suits & quarrels: gives her himself, his heart and love, and all which is meet for her for need and comfort, for this life and a better, for why? She is his Hephziba, and Beulah: In all her sicknesses, he assists and stands by her, he is afflicted, in all her afflictions, & his right hand saves, sustains and redeems her: Charges the daughters that they wake her not till she please, and his love is her banner and defence: And let none touch his beloved, for he toucheth the Apple of his eye: no wrong she receives of any, but he makes it good an hundreth fold, till she be passed all danger.  
And suitable (in measure) is the spouses' carriage towards Christ, 
What she is to him.  (if she be not degenerate: She again most dear loves him, she is in all things helpful to him to his glory, to his contents, even as a wife of his desires: She is reverently and meekly subject to him, under all his commands, with most loyal awe, and yet with delight as under an easy yoke; is most tender of his welfare, yea is glad, and thinks not herself too good to wash the feet of his poorest servants: if her goodness cannot reach to him, she reaches it to his children, whom (in his absence) she nourishes, solaces herself in, beholds him in them, visits, clothes, and relieves them in their needs; thinking them happy who may stand as servants in his presence: she thinks herself more happy in him, then if married to the greatest potentate upon earth: The spokesmen who treated with her about this marriage, are precious in her eyes, yea their feet are beautiful to her, for the glad tidings they brought her: She counts no labour too much, no cost too dear for him: Even the costliest ointment is not good enough for his feet. The reproaches of them that upbraid him, go into the bowels of her belly, and dart to her heart: she walks not only not rebelliously and contumeliously, but not uncomely, not slightly: But decks herself with all the gifts of the spirit, humility, wisdom and sweet tenderness of spirit, yea the spirit of grace is in her lips, that in all her behaviour and converse she may walk in and out gracefully and amially in his sight, in all long suffering and welpleasing: she is faithful to him in all his secrets, keeps his counsel: Dares not prostitute herself to any, not only lusts, but even liberties, or companies which she thinks may be distasteful to him, yea but suspicious; The tokens he sends her, as pledges of his favour, are most dear unto her. She seeks no priviate welfare of her own besides his: She distrusts not his provision, but trusts him confidently, knowing she shall not want: denies herself for his sake, & rejoices that by this, her loyal heart may be tried: Thinks never the worse of him, because she suffers for him, but rather the more he costs her, the dearer he is to her: No husband of other women can stain hers, for hers is above all, the chief of ten thousand; the fashions, garish & whorish attires, paintings and spangles of harlots come not about her neck, nor wrists But she frames herself to his contents, in all chastity she knows his voice, but abhors a strangers: Nothing grieves her, but his absence: All her longings, desires, and tears, are, that she might be with him, where nothing may ever divide her from him!  
Let it teach us in the midst of our marriage contents to raise up our affections to the joy of this spiritual union: and in the midst of our discontents here, to make supply with the happiness of this!  
And this may serve for these two general uses also, 
Conclusion of the Treatise.  belonging to the whole discourse: In a word therefore, to conclude all; If that, which I have at large said about Marriage duties, seem to discourage any weak ones, as if their oil and meal could not reach out so far; they shall never attain to this measure; I will not answer them as once a Poet answered one that asked him, why he always brought in women as very virtuous, always commending them: but another presented them (on the stage) as vicious, always traducing them: Oh saith he, I present them as I would have them, as they should be: but he brings them in as they are commonly. So I might say, my discourse doth not presuppose either all husbands or wyves as they are, but as they should be. Aim at it as a mark: But I will answer as a learned heathen in his Epistle to his friend speaks, when he had received a very short letter from him, I have read over thy very short letter very often, and so often, that I have made it a very long one. So here: My large discourse may dismay some for coming so short of practice as they do: Beseech the Lord therefore to behold thy defects with a merciful eye, to read the short lines of thy obedience often over in the glass and perspective of the Lord jesus: and so, by his large interpreting, and much looking upon thine honest endeavour, it shall be esteemed as full and large. God help! Our discourses of these matters, are far larger, than the practice of the most is: Ourselves who write and ours, are poor, and unsuitable to our Rules! Bowbeit, not contrary, not willily opposite! & where there is but endeavour, God will accept Give Lord power to do as thou directest, and command what thou wilt! Speak and spare not upon these te●nes: for thy servants, handmaids, (mouring for their deaf ●ares, and dead hearts) desire to hearken and to obey. Look not at what is ours, its vile! but at that which is thine in us, which is precious! In which happy desire, I conclude the Treatise.  
The End of the Treatise.    

THE APPENDIX to the treatise: Discovering the just vengeance of God upon all unclean ones, especially Defilers of Marriage.  Hebr. 13. 5. 
But, Whoremongers and Adulterers, God will judge.  
ITwas no part of my Purpose, 
Preamble to the Appendix:  (good Reader) to have used this text any further, then as I have already treated upon it. 
Why the latter part to this Text is handled.  The occasion of adding this Discourse upon the latter part, was the private request of a friend to utter my mind unto him, and to satisfy his spirit, touching the heinousness of uncleanness: whereof he desired his soul might throughly be convinced, (as blessed be God it was, through mercy concurring both with this, and other helps used to that purpose:) which service I considering seriously of, took the latter part of my Text: as a ground of my project: even then, purposing (since God brought it by that occasion to hand,) to annex it to my marriage. Treatise: as foreseeing, not only it would satisfy some to have the equal handling of both members of the Text: but that it might not be impertinent, as a spur, to help the Application of the former treatise; and as a dissuasive to as many in this debauched age, (who shall haply come to the reading of it) if they be not imperswasible, and hardened in the sin, to weigh well their Estate, and repent: That so God speaking peace to them, they may no more return to folly. In which hope, I begin.  
Doctr. 2 The words (as you see) are, But whoremongers, and adulterers, God will judge. Explicat. Which addition, and denunciation fitly attends the words going before. I have opened the words in the beginning: all comes to this effect: God will bless them that honour marriage, but such as violate and defile it, 
God deals wit his own by judgements  by what means soever, God will judge them. The course may seem strange (perhaps) which here God takes, speaking to his church, so to threaten, and, to work rather by down right strokes, then by oil and promises of love, to allure to Obedience. But even our God, (mark the word ● he saith not the wicked man's revenging God, but even our God, 
Heb. 12. ult. ) is a consuming fire. And our God sees it meet, even to appear to his own sometimes in this hieu, and in bloody colours when their spirits grow base, and sensual: as this sin of Uncleanness of all other, infatuates the spirit most, and makes it insensible of commands, except the Lord should take up weapons, and flash hell fire in men's faces. That stupor of spirit wherewith David was led a whole year together, after he had committed this sin, notwithstanding it were accompanied with such kill circumstances, as to make a man drunk, and to murder him, because he would not cover the sin: these might alone have wounded him to death, if the sinful sweetness of it, had not bewitched him so deeply: and the like we see in Samson with Delila: and we know how terribly God threakens both and pursues them. Elija himself, if stout, must have thunders and lightnings: Jonah must have a tempest mingling heaven and sea in one, and the jaws of a whale to gape for him, job must have affrightings by Leviathan and Behemoth: 
Nah. 1. 3.  and Nahu● and Habbakuk must present God to the hard hearted jews, 
Nahum. 1 3.  in jealous wrath, fierce rending the rocks: 
Habac. 3. 19  in such a voice as makes the lips to quiver, 
Mica. 7. ult.  the bones to be blasted with rottenness; and all too little: who is a God, like to our God, (saith Mica sweetly) who passeth by the sins of his remnant? But if all should use such pleasing words, cursed flesh would say, That God is like themselves. There is use of sweetness, when the heart is wounded with sin and flayted with fears; But rare is the man who is always fit to feed upon such honey without surfeit. 
The godly have a slavish part in them and free.  Too propense is, not only a base heart of the godless, but the base part of a Godly heart to turn grace into wantonness. There is a slave within us which must have a whip, although the free borne be drawn by love. Each must have her diet: the one, lest it grow too rank of Presumption, the other lest it be overwhelmd with Despair. The Apostle Paul mixes threats and promises, to the choicest whom he writes unto. For this cause, comes the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience? 
1. Cor 6. 10 1●  Be not deceived, No whoremongers, Adulterers, etc. shall inherit the Kingdom of heaven. And such were ye! 
Eph. 5. 6.  why adds he this? To show us that even God's people had need to be put in mind, what they were, what they have still a disposition to, to keep them thereby in some awe. So again, let no man defraud his brother, 
1. Thess 4. 6.  for the Lord is the Avenger of all such. Many other such places there are. All to show us, that God must sometime whip us to duty, and gaster us from evil, aswell as entice and draw us to or fro. Therefore, even so he urgeth these Hebrews to Chastity, saying, Whoremongers and Adulterers God will judge.  
The sin of adultery than is hence concluded to be a great one. 
Adultery a great sin.  Object. But here, some may object that charge of God to Hosea the Prophet: bidding him to take to himself a fornicatresse to wife, and so defile himself by getting children by her. Answ. But I answer, it was only done in vision, and in protestation before the israelites. If was only typical and parabolical: neither agreeing to the Lord who charged, nor the Prophet who obeyed: By the Prophet's assuming to himself such a person, in God's steed, he would teach the jews how woeful dultery they were guilty of, in forsaking God for Idols. The liberty taken by the patriarchs in the point of many wives and concubines, was for a time, in the first furnishing of the Church with posterity. Else, from the beginning (as Malach. 2. speaks) it was not so. Nay this Command against pollution, hath herein a peculiar restraint from some other: that whereas in some cases, it was lawful to take the goods of Egyptians from them by dispensation; in this no such is granted, it being in no case or respect lawful to commit uncleanness, no more than murder.  
And we see this point verified in Scripture at large. Read these places, Levit. 20. 10. Deuter. 22. 22. for temporal plagues and for eternal to all sorts of impure ones, Rom. 1. 29. 32. 1. Cor. 6. 9, 10. Galat. 5. 19, 20. 1. Tim. 1. 9, 10. yea the greatest delinquents in these kinds, even Kings and great persons, are not spared, as appears 2. Sam. 12. 7. Matth. 14. 4. yea even such as have attempted it ignorantly, as Abimelec, Gen. 20. 3. yea Priests 1. Sam. 2. 22, 23. all sorts, Numb. 25. 1. jerem. 5. 7. judg. 20. 4. The which have their several judgements there applied. And more of them read, as of the old world, Gen. 6. 1. 2. the Sodomites, Gen. 19 The sin of self pollution (which I wish may be observed well) that of Er and Onan, Gen. 38. 9 She●bem, Gen. 34. 25. All summed up by the Apostle, Col. 1. Mortify your earthly members, fornication, uncleanness, effeminateness, unnatural lust: for which the wrath of God cometh upon disobedient men.  
Doct. The point to be treated of, is, That God would have all sorts of uncleanness so laid open in their colours, 
God will have all uncleanness laid open in her colours, as odious.  that there might appear as they all are, odious and terrible! But, what odious colours are here? I answer, Here is one terrible one, which imports all the rest. That which God himself will in person appear against, and sit upon the judgement seat to inquire of, that must be a terrible crime; But God himself, (not his Deputies only, for all men are liars) will in person sit to judge it. Kings (we know) and Princes, come not ordinarily to the Star chamber or to the King's Bench in person, for slight crimes, but remarkable and notorious. When King Henry the 8. to please that bloody Tiger Gardiner, came in person to sit upon that holy man and meek lamb of jesus Christ, john Lambert, how terrible was his appearance, and how frowning a brow cast he upon that innocent Martyr? What then is the brow of that God, that must sit upon King Henry himself? Only the difference is, Princes make a long and deep inquisition of matters, either really, or for show, to bolt out the truth; But, the Lord proceeds ex officio mero, he needs no Informers, no Evidence, but is witness, Accuser, judge and all in one, because he knows all without enquiry. A short count shall he make upon the earth; how much more upon this or that man, 
Mal. 3. 5.  and his crimes? By name he will be a swift witness against the Adulterer, as Malachi speaks; And where the delinquent is his own Accuser, what need long process of law? Such is the conscience of each sinner, and of this by name! The judge then, coming in person making a swift work of it, and having the sinner himself arraigned by his own conscience, must needs set a terrible face upon the sin of uncleanness.  
Ere I go any further, 
Digression, showing that fornication is a great sin.  since I wrap all uncleanness up in one bundle of wrath, I foresee that in this loose and lascivious age, many will tax me for speaking so indistinctlie of all sorts in this kind, fornicators and adulterers; for the former of these had at the writing of this text, have still, and will have their patroness, not Papists only, but Protestants, to aleniate and qualify them as less sinners, if not to bolster them as none. And surely, in vain do I urge God's judgements upon that which is no sin: therefore observe; first for heathens, who (as Hierom sayeth) only condemned adultery, suffering youths and maids to defile themselves without restraint, as if not will, but worth made the sin, I say with him, Christ's law is one, and Caesar's another. Alas, that weak Relic of light which was in Heathens, 
Act. 15.  was soon overshadowed: It caused the Apostles to forbid the converted Gentiles, the sin of fornication, and Idols, as equally promiscuous among them. 
1. Pet. 4. 34.  Their very Law givers permitted it as lawful, and therefore St. Peter saith, That they wondered at the Christians, that they ran not with them into the same confusion of uncleanness. And no wonder if Pagan's thought thus, when Papists openly write thus. For not to speak of their most unclean Casuists who by their base particularising of the circumstances of filthiness, noiso●●e to all ch●st ears, do show themselves what tribe they are of) one of them expressly writes thus: He is no heretic, that saith, Fornication is no mortal sin, because there it no Text of Scrip. that saith so. No is? What means that then of Paul, Colloss. 3. 5. are not the words plain, that wrath comes upon men for this? Other Papists add, That light of Nature condemns it not; and indeed, in such as themselves who by custom have lashed out their eye, its true, but not else? And their Canonists write likewise.  
But let these masters of misrule go: let us attend what the God of Order speaks in his word, of which partly I have spoken in the proof of the doctrine: add thereto that Deut. 17. 18. 1 Cor. 6. 18. Doubtless they who drive out the spirit out of their souls and dodies, sin mortally. So do they who shall burn in the lake of ●rimstone. Revel. 21. 8. The Fathers are all of this m●nde. 
Homil. 22. in 2. ad Corinth.  chrysostom, so oft as thou hast played the fornicator, thou hast damned thyself. He also tells us the law of Nature, and conscience doth evince it; we need not be taught what evil, incontinency is and fornication: for we know it from the beginning, 
Homil. 12. add popul. Antioch  I do not much desire to load my reader with quotations save in cases controversal, to put all out of doubt. And the same Father, Lo (saith he) Paul saith not Abstain from fornication, 
In 1. ad Corin▪ homil 1. 18.  but fly from it. Another of the Fathers makes a Bead-roll of the Reproaches of fornicators, A fornicator is a filthy ignominious slave of sin, in whom the Devil doth knead in and imprint his loathsomeness: He is to be eschewed in the house, to be abhorred in meetings, 
Gregor, N●ssen 〈◊〉 1. add Corinth.  he is the reproach of such as come, near him, the opprobry of his enemies, the shame of kindred, the Execration of Neighbours, the sorrow of parents, etc. If he offer to marry, all reject him. So it was then, but now it's no matter, so he have land or money. 
Tertull de pud●●t. cap. 1.  So another, whoredom and fornication, are not counted among common sins. And Cyprian, That fornication, is a great sin, Paul shows to the Corinth. He names that Text, All other sin is out of the body. To conclude Gregory (a Pope himself) single persons must be warned, that they mix not themselves with harlots. Endless it were to mention the rest.  
And is there not great reason? 
Reason why.  How woeful a mischief doth it reach to? For the bastards begot by such vagrant lust, are wholly neglected, in point of Education, wanting the care of a father, and the cohabitation of parents, and so both an accursed posterity is begotten, and beggary increased. Vagrant lust being justly plagued with a vagabond posterity. But the main reason is taken from another ground. True it is, that the fornicator sins against his own body, the bastard he begets (an innocent patient, necessarily miserable) the Common wealth and society: all bands of honesty: but especially he sins against that everlasting decree of the 7. command of a most holy and pure God. And so much by the way for this point.  
Quest. But (it will be said) how may this wrath and justice of God against these whoremongers appear? Answer. Answer. By a particular induction of those punishments which he hath inflicted upon all unclean ones? Which by and by I shall number up: but in the mean time, let me not forget to premise some Reasons, why the Lord strives to put so odious an outside upon this sin of uncleanness: and these reasons, I desire may be marked for the whetting up of the Readers edge, upon the matter ensuing. I willbe short in all, remembering that I am now only adding a little to the former Argument. Reason 1 First then this sin is a very ●e●r, natural, and familiar corruption, to our nature, 
Uncleanness is a very near, natural Corruption.  and as much nourished and cherished as any one, a true Reuben, the eldest child of old Adam's strength, bearing name of the Mother, which is called in general lust or concupiscence. Heathens esteem those virtues which carry the name of the kind, ●o be eminent ones: as fortitude because it's called virtue, it's to be supposed to be Eminent, and to have most of the kind of good in it. So hath uncleanness the name, and most of the kind, because it's called lust eminently. The Mother and Daughter are bawds mutually to each other. Now then, the Lord seeing how hardly those evils are shamed, and abhorred, which lie so near our heart, and are so fomented by the influence of continual corruption as the stream by her spring: seeing that this sin is bred, and steeps in our bosom, as our son: doth so much the more set himself to deface, and make it odious. As a father, beholding some more natural evil, lurking in the spirit of his child, pride, drunkenness, doth all he can, to unmask it, to discover that blind folding self-love which maintained it, and doth all he can to bring it out of conceit with him, and make him loathe it.  
Reas. 2 Secondly, men are marveilously given, (although they do see and grant it to be evil) yet to blanche it over, 
Men are prone to blanche over this sin.  and make it as none, or very small; by their slighting, and extenuating of it. So much the more doth the Lord strive to point it out in lively colours, and to aggravate it. The heathens (such as all were, to whom Paul directs his Epistles) had, by ill custom so far dashed out that dim twilight of conscience left in them, that they deemed this sin, among others, a mere natural, necessary appetite, and (in a manner) made as common of it, as of eating and drinking: In so much, that in that Epistle to the Corinthians, 
1. Cor. 10.  Paul hath much ado to persuade them to see any shame in it. Nay, (that they might add drunkenness to thirst) lo, they began to make the more bold with God in this kind, under pretended privilege by the Gospel, as if Christ had come to proclaim liberty to all petty sins, for opposition to which unsavoury baseness, the Apostle is fain to allege the wrath of God against it, even upon them who were his peculiar people the jews. The more we slight sin, the more is God fain to cast us in teeth, and upbraid us with it.  
Reas. 3 Thirdly, although we should come so far, as in words to confess it a sin, 
This sin enchanteth and bribeth the judgement.  yet the sensuality of our spirit, and the tickling pleasure of the flesh (being as the belly which hath no ears) inflaming and bolstering up itself by the lewd general practice of base times, and the baits and objects of uncleanness in every corner, spread as snares by Satan: is very propense, is very apt to forget that face thereof, which in the glass of a royal law and the terror thereof, were presented unto us: Our carnal affections (I say) are so apt to take fire (as dry gunpowder) and to flash up, that they do bribe our judgements dangerously, from a convinced persuasion of the loathsomeness of it. And the devil is never far off: but presents this butter in so Lordly a dish, that the soul spies not the hammer and nail in his hand, till he have driven it into the temples. Who should have persuaded David, or Samson, that those amiable objects and delights of their eyes, were so bainefull and odious, as they found them? 
Judas. 10.  Saint Judas tells us, that those Idol teachers, were so defiled with the flesh, that they bore down their conscience in that which they knew to be evil: and like sensual bruit beasts, poured out themselves to their lust with greediness. Such a charming Siren there is in the soul, by this sin, lulling it a sleep as upon Dalilas' knees, lest it should admit a thorough convincement thereof. The dead flesh then of this sore being so great, the corrasive had need be smarty which should eat it out.  
Reas. 4 Fourthly, no sin is so ready to hide itself under cloaks and excuses, 
Adultery is very full of colours and excuses to hide itself under.  as this: none so fruitful in devising shifts and tricks that it might not be discovered; or evasions that it might not be punished. Whether we look at the tricks and inventions, which the committers themselves devise to cover it; yea the many desperate ways which they have to cloak it from the sight of men: or, whether we look at the covers which the devil hath fitted for these cups: how many ways of commuting, how many ways of recrimination, and turning the crime upon the accusers, so that they are more snarled then the accused (for vice is manifold, virtue is simple) how many ways of overthrowing witnesses, for lack of narrow testimony? how many commuting, dispensing, and pardoning of this sin (a very mocking of God, and adding oil to the flame?) Look into the nature of the sin itself, it's a work of darkness, and therefore as deep as hell in the devising of ways to conceal itself. Sleidan hath a story of an adulterous Duke in Germany, who falling in love with his Duchess' handmaid, and thereof had in deep jealousy by his wife, devised a course politicly to embark himself more deeply into his uncleanness, and to elude his wife's suspicion. He sent the harlot to a Castle, (as if he meant to cast her quite off, appointing a straight watch (as he gave it forth) that she might not be thought to escape, and after some time caused a report to be given forth in the Country that she was deadly sick (whether of discontent, or other disease:) after this had a while possessed his Duchess, he caused it shortly after to be reported, that she was dead: and left that might be suspected, he took a solemn course for her enterrement; he hired women for the nonce to conduct the corpses, appointed an Image (such was the manner of the burial) to be laid above the hearse, openly to be seen, which should resemble to the eyes of the beholders, the pale and consumed face of his leman, as she looked ●eeing dead: also witnesses he suborned such as had tended her, to swear it, a solemn funeral and a sermon, with a large dole to the poor; all framed to give demonstration and assurance to the world, and his Duchess, of her death, that she might no more be looked after. But still the harlot lived, prospered in health, still the Duke (pretending other journeys) haunted her company, burning in his l●st much the more: who sees not uncleanness to be as ingenious as the Poet describes the Parrot when she is hungry, or as the belly, which he calls a Master of Arts? Therefore I say, the Lord deals accordingly with it; That which we commit in secret, the Lord will revenge in the open view of the world, and reveal in the tops of houses (as at the last this Duke's Villainy:) And by how much this sin escapes the judgement of man, the more cunningly, and smoothly, by so much, God sets himself to meet with it, the more terrible, That so his method might make it the more hated: for his colours are in grain, laid in oil, and will soon wash out our false paint.  
Reas. 5 Fifthly, that either by this discovery the Lord might teach his people, 
Either for prevention or s●opping of mouth.  the prevention of this sin, before hand, rather than they should learn repentance too late; having before polluted themselves (and this he chiefly intends) or else, if (notwithstanding all his ways) men will still try conclusions with him, their mouths may be stopped, and themselves put to silence, either from ability to excuse the fault, or decline the punishment. They cannot then pretend, that they were the bolder to commit it, because they thought it slight. They cannot (with any forehead) deprecate the punishment of that, which is so confessedly odious.  
Reas. 6 Sixthly, that those men, who are prone to live by sense in a course of sensuality; 
That sensuality might have strong dissuasives.  might have aswell real and sensible pulbacks from this sin, (by Gods abhorring and opposing it) as by the beholding the examples of loose and dissolute offenders, to be tickled, and as it were to stand on thorns, till they be like them. The Lord tries us with this bitter sweet, that is whether his bitter or the world's sweet be chief with us: if not, yet we shall not have all our will, nor all the sweet of our lust, but with it we shall have some sting and prick in our flesh, to make us sit uneasy upon our cushion, especially in this woeful world, degenerated to all licentiousness, as in other sins, so in this of uncleanness; which so overfloweth the banks of countries and towns in this declining age, that if examples may prevail, there shall not want enough to corrupt the bodies, and defile the manors of the most. Just it is, that such as defile the ordinances with the scurf of their own inventions, should be given over with Papists, to the pollution of their bodies by all kinds of lust; the outward uncleanness having been always a brand of the spiritual. So much for reasons.  
Now, 
God's judgements against it.  I return where I left, to make fuller answer to that question, how it may appear that God is such a judge of this sin? 
Branch 1.  I say therefore, if we shall consider these passages following, it may. First if we shall consider that the Lord hath not spared to set his own dearest people on the stage for this sin of uncleanness. 
Mat. 1. 19  It's said that Joseph (Mary's husband) was a just man, 
God's dearest servants not exempt from this general sentence.  and was loath to defame her openly, when he perceived her to be with child, but meant privily to rid his hand of her. But the Lord is not as man, he is a just and jealous God, not sparing to exemplify and traduce his best servants, that their blur and penalty might scare all from venturing. A just King will begin with some servant or favourite of his own, by making him the spectacle of his severity: when he would have all his subjects, put it out of question, that if they transgress in the like, they shall not go guiltless. And, if this be done in the green tree, if the fire so easily kindle upon that, what shallbe done in the dry? If the very righteous be not free from being stigmatiques in the court of this justice, what shall become of the ungodly and wicked? 
1. Pet. 4. 18.  And, if judgement begin at the house of God, what shall be done with the rest, the stubble who are ready to be burned? I say, what then shall become of the common rout of Sodomites, Adulterers, and fornicators? Tremble oh ye unclean wretches! Do you see Lot, David, Solomon, Samson sholled out from their fellows for this, and look you to escape?  
Secondly, 
Branch 2.  see what a judgement appeared upon the bastard offspring of the Adulterer? It might seem unjust, that an innocent should be so plagued for the father's uncleanness, 
The offspring of the Adulterer excluded from the Tabernacle, many ages.  as to be shut out and cut off from the congregation to the tenth generation. Surely the taint was deep, and the iron moll cankerfretted, which could so hardly be washed out: what did this argne, but that by so severe a sentence, (not to be expiated by blood, or any other cleansing) the Lord would deter men from such filthiness? That, if they durst not thus offend, they might tell themselves, they must cut off the fruit of their sin, from ever coming, where God and his people had to do. Who should dare to be so profane, if yet the heat of his lust would permit him to think seriously, either of the hell which himself, or the excommunication and blasting curse which his bastard child should incur! But, Alas? It's to be feared that these thoughts are the first of those which these last think of?  
Thirdly the penalty inflicted upon Adultery, 
Branch 3.  was death without remedy. 
Old Penalty of Adultery, death without remedy.  There were divers sorts of death inflicted upon malefactors by the law; and some learned men question what this death was? The agreed tenet is, that it was stoning, although strangling, and burning were used for some excesses in this sin, when it came to incest, or the unnatural sins of sodomy, and bestiality. The thief was not hanged, but spared by making restitution: (and in single fornication, less penalties might be allowed) but in these cases the Lord would allow none: as if the offer of a requital in such cases were most unseasonable. No, but gave way to the jealousy of the husband, and himself admits no pecuniary mulct to redeem that, which jealousy counts to be above ransom; yea, so terrible a law he ordained, for the unclean harlot, (upon the instance only of a jealous husband) that if she stood upon her trial, and gainsaid the accusation, she should be set before the Priest, and there drink a cursed water, and if she were guilty, she was found out by the providence of God, 
Numb. 5 18. 19  and plagued with rotting of her belly and thigh, and so perished: So she got nothing by her concealment, for in stead of the people's stoning, Gods hand seized upon her. And what is this, save Gods coming in person to judge a whore?  
Fourthly, 
Branch. 4.  what severe judgements hath God executed upon unclean persons? 
Severe judgements executed upon Adulterers.  Let first Scripture, than experience speak; for Scripture, how did the Lord pursue David, for his Adultery? First with the rape of Thamar, than the murder of Amnon, than the treason of Absalon, (both whom he should have slain and taken from the earth) together with his just execution by joah: (the child itself conceived in adultery should have been the first) the open defiling of all his Concubines in the face of the sun, as he had defiled others in secret: The perptuall unhappiness of his course all his life to his dying day, 
Both in Scripture.  never free from sorrow, and even then in the usurpation of Adonijah, what godly man ever suffered so in his children, himself living to see it, as he? why should God sit in judgement upon his own favourite, for this sin, save to scare all to whom this story should come, even to the world's end? And, what became of Salomon's glory? Was it not all blasted, by this sin of uncleanness? Although he lived not to see it, yet what a spectacle of ruin did the Lord make Rehoboam? Stripping him of the ten tribes, and of the richest kingdom in his father's days, making it the poorest that it had ever been before? What made Samson of a judge in Israel, yea a Giant, a conqueror to become a fool in Israel: a blind slave to grind in a mill? save the besotting of himself with lust? 
Num. 25 7. 8.  How dealt God with those Israelits at Poor? Did he not set his vicegerent Phinees on work, to thrug throusth the chief ringleaders, ere he could be pacified? And when the heat of wrath seemed to be slaked, did it so vanish? Did not the tail of that plague sweep away four and twenty thousand? Could their privilege of being God's people save them? Where is now thy mouth (as he said) who callest adultery, but a trick of youth? In steed of one cloak which men use to put upon it, of slightness; what cloak doth the Lord put upon it? Surely a Cloak bathed in the blood of so many thousand adulterers I was not this enough to drive men from such dalliance? Who might not thenceforth call it by the name of a bloody sin, of a scarlet die? What shall say of our own experience? How many have we heard of, struck dead by the hand of God, taking them in the act? Not suffering them to go out of the bed of uncleanness, whether hath God come in person to judge such or no.  
And although many have been suffered to escape such judgements, 
And in experience.  yet how many missing the Bear, have met with the Lion? out of the horror of their conscience some dashing their brains against the walls, others stabbd', drowned ', hanged ' themselves? To pen out of several writers who have written theatres of God's judgements, the examples of such as God hath plagued, is not my scope! Alas! these be days wherein men will rather sit upon God himself and scorn him to his face, then tremble at Gods sitting in judgement upon Adulterers. But there be books which do at large supply us in this kind, if our hearts be not quite sunk into a senslessenes of them. Even while I was writing this, lest I should want unsought precedents, a report came to mine ears of a Blacksmith near Colchester, (whose wound is as it were yet bleeding) who having made a Chain to hang a woman, that had murdered her husband, fell into such sudden terrors by God's hand oppressing his conscience, for his Adulterous life, that he cried out, saying, that he was as wicked as she for whom he had made the chain; so, that he could not lin, till by cutting his own throat, he had made an end of himself. So the Lord pulls out some to be spectacles of reproach and detestation to the world, though thousands scape. All are not dragged out by the hand of God openly as that bawdy Bishop at the Council of Trent, whom Sleidan mentions, who creeping out of his window along the leads to the wife of the next house, was watched by her husband, and catcht in a grin or snare laid for him in his passage, and there hung by the neck, as a ridiculous object to all the beholders. But, I say, because men object, that thousands scape to some odd persons, whom vengeance intercepts: Tell me, what better portion have they who survive, than the other. 
Branch 5.   
What one sin hath so manifold marks of wrath upon it, 
Marks of wrath ●pon,  as this, upon the soul, body, or person sinning? as by the sequel may appear. First for soul, what sin hath found less place for repentance then this? 
Soul.  Closeness, secrecy, shifts, always attending it, which keep the heart from all tenderness, yea defile and disable the soul from repenting, nay the curse of God sealing up that soul to impenitency: some walking, ten, some twenty, some more years in the guilt hereof, yet with a smothered conscience: and although they be wounded, yet hardly healed in a kindly manner, but suffering their hearts to rankle inward, and outbidding all ordinances to their destruction? How can it be, but such a sore must break forth all at once with such a forcible outcry, that nothing can still or satisfy it? Secondly, what sin hath so foul a blemish and dishonour cast upon the name of the committer as this? 
Name.  With what a blot do we think or speak of Samson, to this day? And how many Divines (though amiss) have deeply questioned Salomon's salvation? Touching the outward name, what a blot and infamy do they for ever procure? What an infectious plague hath it proved in the stock of the Adulterer? No space of time hath purged it, it hath been as the fretting leprosy in the walls, which nothing could heal save pulling down the whole race and family from the very foundations. Jeroboams name not being more prodigious, and odious in Israel, than an Adulterers in the Church of God: as if such or such a family had bought the staple of the trade! So that it is observed that this sin hath so defiled the blood of some families, that they are no sooner named, but their kind is offensive, scarce any in such families being noted to be chaste? What a stinch might such cause, and even a taint to a whole Country? How just were it for God to pull down the whole houses of such, stick and stone, no memory of such to be left behind? How just were it having first motheaten their name by dishonour, to come upon their persons as a Lion and tear them in pieces? 
When as men have failed, God hath struck in.   
Is not the finger of God here (as they told Pharaoh) when men on earth, who should have censured them, suffer these nasty creatures to lurk in their sties and dens, poisoning the Country with their breath, hath the Lord let them alone? Hath he not been fame to step in himself, and by sudden vengeance to cut them off? And, if such censures were in force as we are bidde● to pray for in the Church of God, such discipline I mean in the Church, could such a sin as this, escape the dint of Excommunication, the greatest dart of wrath? Should we have had such notorious whoremongers brought forth in the famousest places in the land, to their penance, with such impudence or disdain? Not to speak of such great ones as for their villainy in some kndes, not to be named, with their own flesh, and forcers of their wives to yield to the lust of their servants, have been brought to open execution? is it not pity, that through the insolency of offenders, the sacred censures of God's Church should be vilified and exposed to scorn? To end this reproach of the name, it's an usual saying, that the sins of seed and pollution, are punished in the seed: one way or other, a tainted seed, 
1 Pet. 1. 18.  bewraying itself: Saint Peter speaks of some sins, derived by tradition from the fathers to their children; among which this is one, (none of the precious legacies) as jericho was built, so is adultery plagued, both in the eldest and youngest, it goeth through the race, till it have wasted all, and made an utter consumption. Some notorious monster in this kind, being as he, who puts a burning torch into a stack of straw, so violently burning that there is no quenching of it.  
Thirdly God accurseth this sin with beggary, 
Mark 3.  and rags, wastings of state, 
Beggary.  open, or secret: no man can tell how, save that so it is, and by this privy plague, God hath discovered many wretches, in the eyes of them, that else never should have suspected such. One of them upon his death confessed both of this and of other evils, I have spent many thousand pounds to damn my soul. Alas poor soul, it need not have cost thee a penny, save that the devil loves to have his bored slaves outvie Gods servants, and (as one saith) do more for him that will shed their blood, than Christ's servants will do for him that shed his blood for them: When no cause, I say, hath appeared of such a man's wasting, but yet wasted he is, parsonage added to parsonage, great portion in marriage to former inheritance, great befallings of legacies by this means, and that yet none will serve the turn, but a canker fretting out the marrow of all; no thriving in estate; what doth it argue? but that moth that eats out the foison of all, and that fire that melteth all, as fat before the Sun! The sluggard and adulterer being commonly joined in one, partake of one plague of penury. Go over towns and countries, tell the choice buildings, lands and inheritances of them, and ask whose these were, all will tell you such a name, such an house enjoyed them; but now all is gone and embezzeled away, nor one acre remaining of four or five thousand pound lands by the year! And how? Oh the fire of lust and burning concupiscence hath wasted all, and driven them out of their dwellings, as dogs or swine, so that all who come by may say, drunkenness, riot, whoring, idleness, or malicious persecution of the Church of God, have been the means to root out the most families of this greatness and wealth: Truly methinks when I pass by them they are as theatres of vengeance, and judgement of God against adulterers and fornicators.  
Fourthly, the judgement of God appears in the snaring of the sinner by this sin. 
Mark 4.  As is the whore, so is the adulterer: she is a deep ditch to devour, 
Coherence of u●cleannesses▪  and he is a vast gulf of lust and concupiscence. He is so drowned in his own perdition, and cannot get out: snarled as a bird, so that the more she struggles, the worse she is hampered, would unwind herself, but cannot. Oh! than what a judgement is this, neither to be able to be chaste, nor endure to be unchaste? As the Poet said of the Paramour to his harlot, neither can I live with thee, nor without thee! So of this lust: I cannot endure it, it is so dogging, so unsatiable, that it wastes my marrow in my bones, and causeth a perishing daily without death: it's a tyrant to me, forcing me to serve it, beyond my strength: And yet I cannot be without it neither, it hath so prevailed against me by the false sweet and cursed habit of it, that I cannot want it. One in this kind was so addicted to it, that even when he was spent to the very pith, yet had appointed his harlot to meet him, when death approached: and could not believe he should die, till want of breath intercepted his thoughts and trade. The soul in this plight sinks deeper and deeper, one harlot makes way for another; some one insatiable stallion in this kind having three four, yea seven harlots to exhaust him. As he said merrily, so I here, such need no gout, dropsy, ague or consumption to bring them to their end, they have provided a speedier course. There is no end of sinning, and he must needs go whom the devil drives.  
Fifthly, 
Mark 5.  it's the devil's nestegge, and causes many sins to be laid, 
It's the Devil's nest egg.  one to, and upon another. Look upon the woeful chain of David's lust, how did one follow another, the act urged the concealment; 
2 Sam. 11. etc.  the eagerness thereof provoked a suborning of Vrijah: that brought on the making of him drunk, when that will not serve turn then the innocent must be murdered: any one of these odious in a wretch, how odious then are all in a Saint? How many secret murders of infants have been caused by Popish Votaries, let the vaults, privies, fishponds, belonging to their lawless houses testify; nay their own Pope Gregory, who took an order with them upon the observation of such villainy I Oh the lies, shifts, perjuries, purge by forsworn men, bribes given and taken, policies and tricks to cover, defend and make off such abominations! So it must be. I wonder that a man should be so debauched as to be a whoremonger, but being one, I wonder not, that he is, as such a one must be: for can a bowl rolling down the hill, stop her own course, no more can he who is in the power of his lust, do as he would, but as the force of ill custom, and the prevailing sweetness of his lust necessitates him unto. No sin goeth alone, but to be sure uncleanness cannot avoid many to accompany it. Once over the shoes in this puddle, rarely will Satan leave off, till he have by degrees got thee over head and ears.  
Sixthly, 
Mark 6.  what woeful consequences follow this sin? As Solomon of the drunkard, whence are red eyes? To whom are wounds, black and blue cheeks? So say I here, To whom are quarrels, Broils, blood shed, Duels between corrivals of Harlots, with a raging heart never at peace: To whom? To those whom the fury of harlot's discontent hath incensed: what will not such do to gratify their Mistress? Nay where do Robberies by the high ways, and murders and burghlaries begin? Surely in the love of harlots, as much as in any other root: It must be so, love will not be maintained with nothing, this sin is and must be desperately wasteful: The old speech is, Venus must be nourished with Ceres and Bacchus: infinite is the luxury and Riot of such, no end of expenses in each kind: and as the grave, so the harlot insatiably cries, give, give, else she thinks herself scorned, and scorns her bankrupt lover. Now, than what doth satan drive them to? To all violent, hideous ways, rather than want oil for this Lamp? An harlot must be fed with the rapine of all sorts, and when she is rich upon the price of the soul of a man, she is best content. How many come to untimely, shameful ends this way (especially of those Gentlemen thiefs as we call them) by the just intercepting hand of God's instrument, the Magistrate? So that many have said with him, finding God to pursue them, just oh Lord are thy judgements! Many have been executed for crimes, which they never committed; but yet confessed, that God hath plagued them for such as man knows not, such as the law cannot take hold of: secret Sodomy, Adultery, or other uncleanness, which I never looked to have discovered. I did under a false title and crime, but not without due and just desert: man hath done me wrong, but God hath done me right: Oh what a just hand of God is here? Vengeance will not suffer them to live.  
Seventhly, 
Mark 7.  the body of the unclean is judged: seldom is it free from diseases and distempers. 
The body.  Whence are such maladies, as poison wife, child, and each one that drink in their cup? Who but God plagued that Army of the French with that loathsome disease, never before heard of? Whence are inflamed, swollen, spotted faces, puffed flesh, stinking breath, disguised body, putrefaction of the blood, rottenness of the carcase, unsound health, speedy age, infinite infirmities? Whence is that outcry which Solomon speaks of, when thy liver is darted through with an arrow, when thy strength is given to the cruel, and thou mourn when thy flesh and body are consumed, then shalt thou cry out, how have I hated instruction? 
Prov. 5. 10. 11.  Oh fool, and beast that I am, how am I led ●o the shambles as an ox, and how to the stocks, like a ●ot? When all thy honour is laid in the dust, thy friends are ashamed of thee, thy conscience flies in thy face, and thy harlot hath forsaken thee, and all is gone, then mayst thou say, God is departed from me also, and leaves me hardened, and woe be to him that is alone! And yet all which I have said, is but as the Adulterers prison and chain, the chief Bar of judgement which he must take sentence at, are, death and the last day: then will God judge whoremongers indeed, than he will be a swift witness to purpose, all his delay and reprivalls of Adulterers, shall be recompensed with sweetness in kind: then shall flames revenge flames, and one fire punish another, and there shall be an eternal heat of wrath, for the short and sweet pleasures of lust: For, without shall be Sorcerers, Murderers, Dogs, Idolateors, Thiefs, Liars, and Adulterers; this is the second death. This death, shall be the reward of this sin, and this is the last judgement from which no escape, no appeal shall be admitted. And this be said for Answer to the Question.  
Use. 1 It's now time to hasten to use. And first let this be terror to all such, 
〈…〉 the uncleare.  as thwart and contradict God in his course; doth God all he can to terrify Adulterers, and to make this sin odious? Woe be to them then that make an honourable thing of it; I shall not need to seek out as far as Spain, Italy, France to find out matter hereof, such as make bastardy a title of honour, covering it with greatness, so that a term of dishonour with God, is with them a name of renown; woe be to them, who honour that which God abhors! To these add the Papists (touched before) who honour whores and concubines far above lawful wives in the Clergy, setting up open stews, out of the which the Pope draweth an exceeding yearly tribute, (for you must note, he is not so holy, but he will take the price of an whore into his treasury, and savour it well) justifying the lawfulness of such practices and tolerations of harlots, to the end forsooth, that the chastity of Matrons may be preserved! Are not these wise Proctors think we for God and for his seventh Command? To make the plaster of the rankest poison? But who wonders that the great mother of spiritual whordomes, that old Bawd Circe who hath poisoned all the world with her double cup of doctrine and practice, should so tenderly nurse up the stews? Oh you harlots children, and seedplots of bastards, are you so careful of Matrons? and the safeguard of their chastity! No, rather your Banner and Buckler is for whores, than Matrons! You care as much for your chastity, as Judas did for the poor! whose successors you are, whiles for the filling of your bags, you suffer any villainy, and live upon the sins of the people.  
Once a young spark son to an Emperor told his father, he wondered at him, that he would be so base as to exact tribute of the City for Urine! But he took a piece of that golden tribute, and put it to his nose, bidding him smell to it. Which he doing, he asked him, how it smelled? he answering, well for aught he felt, yet (saith he) it comes from the City urine. A base speech for a man of so incomparable worth! But this tributemonger of souls is ten times worse; for hell fire and all, do smell sweet in his nostrils, the smell of gain from any thing favours well to him; so he have it. To these add such as slight this sin, calling it but a trick of youth: such as blanche and colour these sins of all sorts, not to be named: never so rise in all estates, as now in this debauched age! Such as play the bawds to their own children, their own wives, such as make a sport of it, and lay their bastards in their own wives bosoms, forcing them to nurse them, 
Pro. 26. 19  or else turning them out of doors? Casting darts and mortal things, and ask, am not I in sport? Such as make a trade of this sin, serving the turns of their commanders, as that hangby Hiram the Adullamite did the turn of Juda: Do these, or such as these (for they are infinite) believe these terrors of God? Or do they take notice, that God will have this sin made odious and terrible, to gaster all from it? Oh woeful Rebels, and Traitors to the edicts of Christ, beware, lest God come upon you, and tear you in pieces, and there be none to deliver you! for so impudent a forehead of brass, and daring to resist him in his own way! If he aggravate, dare you alleniate? surely he shall add unto you all the plagues of his Book, and diminish your names from that other of life!  
Use 2 Secondly, if God so strive to make this sin odious, consider in the fear of God, both upon what ground, and to what end he doth so. Surely it is not for nothing, that he doth so. 
Admonition to all uncleane●nes.  The ground is, that it opposeth his ordinance; the end to prevent sin. Branch 1 For the former, beware of defiling any ordinance of God That which he hath put honour upon, put not you contempt upon! Marriage is honourable, and the bed undefiled by an ordinance. It's like the decree of Medes and Persians, which altars not. Take not you away the honour thereof, either by wilful abandoning of Marriage to live in lust unbridled; 
Deface not God's way.  or defiling marriage, to cover your filthiness! (it was not made to such an end) God will be surely avenged upon all such! It's the practice of Satan, and Antichrist his eldest son, to be Gods opposite to thwart an ordinance. What is so holy an ordinance, as the ministry of the word, the use of Sacraments, the use of the Keys? And, what doth he more purposely contradict? How basely speaks all this rabble from top to toe, of a Minister? of preaching? of our Sacraments? our Communion table! they jeer all, and oppose their Priesthood, Mass, Sacrifice, and Altar! What so sacred a civil ordinance, as Magistracy? They abhor it, tread under feet all kinds, that cross their own Government: cursing, destroying, excommunicating, and murdering them at pleasure, if they can come by them! What so pure an ordinance as marriage? But what uncleanness is there, which they prefer not before it? Beware you rebels! you fight against God, one that is stronger than you! hearten not one another against this Ark, that is come into your Camp! lest he plague you, and make it too hot and too heavy for your keeping! Call not those things common, and carnal, which he hath called pure; honour that which God hath stamped: discern the solemnes, the sacredness of it; defile not mine ordinance, lest I make you your Sacrilege!  
Branch 2: Secondly, the end is, to stop and prevent the sin itself: Beware then of all riot and excess this way: 
To prevent the sin.  you who formerly during your dissolute youth, have defiled your bodies, or since marriage have adventured to do so: look back and bethink you, what you have done! Tremble to think, that you dared to presume to sin in that kind, which God hath gastred you from. Should Adam have ventured to break into the garden again, upon the shaken sword of a Cherubin? But lo, the shaken sword of a greater than Cherubins are, is here! How just were it, that God had struck you dead in the act? Still to strip you of all at once, and bring you into the pit of despair! To accurse your posterity, and to transmit your sin, through your race, to make you a by word as Jeroboam! oh wonder that ever you got out of this pit (if yet you be) and take heed lest he who delights to see dogs and swine turn to their mire and vomit, pull you not into this ditch again! Tax not God for his severe and hard sentence against such unclean wretches, whose bodies have rotten in prison, persons been ruined with penury, souls perished in impenitency! It were just with God, your own should have suffered no less! for such as despise his therrors, go on still as the forlorn rank in the mouth of the Canon, wrath hath always swept them away! as a man who is a●gry will smite him that is next, so hath he smitten some in their souls, in their names, bodies, estates, posterity, to flaite others. Else had he been unjust. Now then take warning: God aims at the preventing of sin: If you by these examples repent not, yourselves shall go in the drove, and be made examples, that others may repent by yours.  
And to conclude, 
Conclusion of it.  to both sorts, I say, knowing the terror of the Lord, desist from your unclean course! who shall stand when God shall come in person to judge? It's said that when Jehu sent to the Princes of Samaria, 
2. King. 10. 3. 4. 5.  Tutors of ahab's Children, to set up one of their Master's Children and fight for him, they trembled, and said, two Kings could not stand before him, and can we? Therefore they chose to cut off the heads of them, and send them in to him, rather than to try it out! I tell thee, though the son of Nimshi were a furious marcher, the son of God is more! Not two, or ten, but ten thousand Kings could never stand before his revenge: Hell is prepared for Kings, if unclean and adulterous? Stand not out, cut off the heads of these lusts, and thereby make way for pardon and atonement to thyself, if yet ever this woeful spot, and crock of spirit may be washed out, (for there is but one thing, even the blood of this judge which can cleanse it) and forgiven. Think not by peaking out of God's sight for a while, to wind out, and be forgotten! 
Rev. 2. 14.  So did Baalam, that Bawd of Peor, who cursed Israel more by this Stumbling-block, than otherwise! Oh! he went to his place, and lurked in his nest, till the Lord in person came upon Midian, and then both the five Kings of it, and all those enticing fornicatresses, and then Baalam himself was dragged out of his hole to execution! verifying his own Prophecy, who shall stand, when God doth these things! will an innocent Lamb tremble before a Lion, and shall not guilty Adulterers, when God sits upon them? Shall this be the fruit of Gods scaring of men, that with the new built house, they settle the more upon the frame when the wind most shakes them? To run to sin, to snort in it with so much the more impudence, securely? What is this save to mock God, and play the Giants against heaven? To dare him with a Babel, and try whether he can confound us! As those Philistians cried, 
2 Sam. 10. 12  now play the men, kill both Israel, and the God of Israel, if you can! Be not so mad! Time will make you think God is like yourselves! and he will neither do good nor evil! Because judgement is deferred, your hearts are set in you to play the whores and villains still: But your damnation sleeps not! he shall come upon you, and set your disordered ways in order before you, and bring (as Solomon did Shemeis) all your pranks, old and new at one view into your eyes, and then shall it not be possible for your shoulders, your consciences to stand under your load, nor endure those terrors that shall sting you, as the handsels of hell which is ready to devour you!  
Use. 3 Lastly, let us all learn to be of God's mind; and so convince our hearts of the judgements of God, 
Instruction to be subdued by t'●ererrors of God.  against uncleanness; as not to dare to think of committing it. I have seen many wretches, and one the other day▪ whom flaited in his conscience by the fear of sudden death, unloading his guilty spirit into the bosom of God's Minister, even his filthy haunts with many close queans, unsuspected: and under this he lay as long as the dint lasted: but having found no further favour with God, relapsed to his old course, as a coney though taken in her hole, yet if let go, hath no shift but to run to her old burrow and harbour! If Christ be not the cover from the storm and rain, sin must needs be; and although it be but a sorry one, which will one day wet to the skin, yet it must serve the whilst. Subdue therefore thy soul with these terrors: as Christ saith, let them sink deeply into thine heart! It is thyself, it serves to keep thee from the paths of death. As our Saviour then when he bids watch: 
Mark 13. 37.  tell us he saith it to the Disciples, and to all: so, I wish that this watchword might reach to all, none excepted, even forward professors themselves. I much fear, 
Fotward professors beware of his snare.  this sin is rise among many even of such: for profession cannot alone quit us of secret profaneness. So near is the flesh, so sly is Satan, so copious is a false heart of evasions, that no sort of people is free. There want not fearful examples at this day of each degree of men and women. I need not silence that which all tongues jangle, & the ears of the good might tingle withal: what debauched varlets there are of late brought forth from among them, who have crept in amongst the zealous servants of Christ, and taken upon them to be the forwardest. To conceal, is now too late, too late to say, tell it not Gath: for its all over the places about their dwelling. One being reproved for attempting the maids (who came to his house) to folly: answered, though I may not covet my neighbour's maid, yet for his own maids, or those that offered themselves, he thought he might. It's time now (my brethren of of all sorts) to cease striving, to hold ●●le in your palm; it's rather time to apply corrasives. The best way now, is in taking notice of these, to say, they were among us: they were not of us, if they had, they would not so foully have gone out of us. And yet (were it not that I fear doing hurt) I would add, that I must not nor dare finally to censure every own as lost, who is guilty of this sin: but I know, ten to one of these, are hypocrites, though for causes, God may leave some odd person, whose repentance he purposes to make as eminent, as ever his sin was: and moreover, to use this sin in others, as a forcible occasion to convert them from all sin. But of this after. Of the hypocrites I say, let him that is filthy, be filthy still; of the other, the Lord give them grace, with Achan in the midst of their reproach, to give glory to God: woeful creatures the while weltering in their misery from whom the unclean spirit seemed to be cast out▪ and they to have escaped the pollution of the world through lust: but through their looseness, the devil hath returned into their hearts, and brought seven spirits with him, worse than the former: so that if that stronger man throw not out this strong, the end of such will prove worse than the beginning.  
Consider all such, 
Profession cannot dispense with this sin.  profession cannot dispense with you! rather it shall make your sin treble, and heat hell seven times hotter! If we never found any other effect of the sins of our ignorance, save shame and death: what are we like to find for sins against knowledge! Truly men are strangely impudent and hardened in these days! this makes me insist as I do! Fear not him, who can destroy the body only and not the soul: but him who can cast both bodies and souls into hell, I say, fear him! Get we our spirits truly moulded into this terror of God Those Corinthians pretended the liberty of the Gospel, against the terror of the Law: But, how doth Paul answer them? Surely by a fit instance of the Isralites in the wilderness, committing filthiness, at Peor. Are you better than they? had not they the word, the ordinances, the cloud, the manna, and rock? but God was never the better pleased with them, for that I Their carcases all fell, and were made dung in the wilderness. Therefore deceive not yourselves; Be not you fornicators as they ● and were destroyed of the destroyer; 
1 Cor. 10. 10.  Their Angel of presence, turned their destroyer, for their uncleanness. If this be all the privilege of your bare profession, let whose will venture, but venture not ye! well (may some say) we would fain be of God's mind, but our hearts are so giddy and slight in this point, that we cannot get them to be seriously awed by God's judgements: I answer, I shall refer it to the Exhortation following in the next Chapter: in the mean time, consider what hath been said in this.  

CHAP. XVII.  
And last; Containing the use of Exhortation, with Counsels and Motives to preserve Chastity, and avoid uncleanness.  
Use. 4 I Finish the whole use of the point with Exhortation; to this effect, 
Exhortation.  that all who truly tremble at this judgement of God against Adulterers and fornicators, do preserve their vessels with as much holiness and honour as is possible. To all such (as in the end of this point I shall touch) belongs consolation: but let it lie by a while, until thou be able to apply it to thyself by the experience of what I shall now say. Wherefore, I exhort all such, be chaste, and pure in body and spirit, passing the whole time of their conversation here in holy prevention and caution against uncleanness. A solemn duty, to bring a clean body to the marriage bed: to maintain it so, and bring it so to the grave! But how (will some say) may this be effected? I answer, by observing three counsels: 
Counsels three.  and first to Abhor somewhat. Secondly to meditate upon somewhat. Thirdly by practising. Touching the first, Abhor somewhat within, and somewhat without. In the prosecution of which three, if I shall haply trench upon any thing before touched, through the nearness of the argument, let the reader consider, that when I wrote, that before upon the point of chastity, I intended not the handling of this latter part of the verse: but I hope, I shall avoid any purposed repeatings of aught, which the necessity of the order doth not enforce upon me, for the avoiding of any interruption. 
First Counsel.  For the first of Abhorring: First with David, Abhor thyself, 
Abhorring somewhat  that inward original corruption of nature, the foment of this flame: he begins at the right end of the staff, with that poison, wherewith his mother had warmed him in her womb. Abhorring of some outward acts or penalties of this sin, may go without any loathing of the fountain. Had it not been (saith David) for my natural stain, 
Thine own self.  I had never committed such an actual abomination as this. Alas! as the field of a poor man vanishes in the Map of a whole town, so doth this evil of concupiscence vanish in most men's eye, when they take a survey of sin; whereas this inward is the body: and that which we see breaking out, is but a member, as it might be here a toe, there a finger of defiled old Adam. Till then the mother be abhorred, the daughter will never be renounced. Put case, thou couldst bitterly inveigh, yea incense thine heart, against some actual filthiness, yet, till this inward dunghill be raked, which is able to steam forth into an hundred Adulterers, yea sins without number; I say till this furnace kindled by hell, as ready to defile thee again (when thou hast seemed to wash out many stains as they appear) with ten fold more wickedness; look for no redress of thy disease. It's a running sore, an issue of uncleanness, and must first be drained, ear the passages dry up: Theseely man who saw the stream of the River run very swift, sat him down upon the bank and slept, thinking by that time all would be run out, and he might go over dry shod! Poor soul! for that river ran still, ever did, and ever will. So is it here: till God dry up, or turn the current, it can be no otherwise. The due sight of this thy bent of heart, thy frame of spirit, always inclining one way, never to Purity, first tiring thee as a traveller, worry thee as a dog, pursue thee at heels, as the Avenger of blood did the Man slayer; is one of the best ways to quit thee of this mischief. Get an inward abhorring of thyself, see what an huge heap of filth lies there; mark how it's like the door rolling the same way on his hinges; and this wearisome sight may (perhaps) drink up thy spirit, and cashier all thy daubings, colours, and excuses. I say, This may raze thy fort itself, and shake it from the foundations, and then the out works will soon yield and fall to the ground. Look upon this sin in that Glass with that eye, which Paul looked in, when he beheld lust forbidden: and, (if any thing) this shall swallow thy ship wholly up in the quicksands of selfe-abhorring. Say to thy soul thus, were I washed with nitre, yea scoured with soap, yet the clothes I wear will defile me as fast: Alas! I get nothing by all my outward abhorrings, lust will not be scared away with Holywater. I have a Bosom Orator within, which will draw me to lust, twenty times, one after another, and pull me faster to filth, than all my own, or others dissuasives can withdraw me from it: Lord then, drain this flood and overflow! teach me to abhor myself in dust and ashes, if ever I get victory over my actual corruptions!  
Secondly, abhor thy inward Actual thoughts, of contemplative uncleanness. Workmen proceeds according to an Idea and platform in his mind, 
Things to be abhorred,  set before him, in all his projects and attempts: 
Thoughts of Contemplative uncleanness.  so doth the Adulterer. The heart (saith our Saviour,) is the Adulterer, all the mischief is hatched there. What contemplations of villainy, doth the forlorn sty of Thoughts nourish in many? What unclean man or woman is there, whose thoughts do not plod and contrive their meetings, the places, the time, manner, and circumstances? What a Thoroughfare of such scurf, is that defiled spirit of theirs, which they carry about them? Once, a learned man was called a walking library: But of these, it may be said, They are a walking Stews. It's as easy to pull their hearts out of their bellies, as to alter and turn the course of these suggestions: the Devil being the Presenter, and the fancy the Receiver. Mortify then and nip these thoughts; which have the whole man at command: Senses do not so much hurt to thoughts, as thoughts to them and to the bodily performance. The loathing of base, vain, wanton, and capering thoughts, in this kind, were half the cure. These vapouring up from the heart to the brain, do so possess and beleaguer it that the affections are fired, and on thorns, till they come to practise. Now, when the fuel is gone, or lessened, the fire must cease: let original corruption be once abhorred truly, and this will follow. Think that God speaks to thee in St. james his phrase, 
james 4. 8.  cleanse your thoughts ye sinners, and purge your hearts, ye wantonly minded ● Howlong shall your unclean thoughts abide with and within you? Know you not that Imaginations are the first mover of the whole frame of corrupt Nature? If they move, must not all inferior ones dance after their Pipe? And tell me, when Satan fires the whole man, whither doth he inject first his fireballes? Is it not into the thoughts? If he would tempt, accuse, terrify, how goes he to work but by raising up a commotion in the thoughts? And in what part is hell fire kindled in the damned? Is it not first in the thoughts? Keep then thy thoughts with all diligence! Forestall Satan and uncleanness by good thoughts, chaste, pure, contrary thoughts; let the Chambers of the thoughts be prepossessed with these guests: & they will sparre the door from such encroachers. Especially if the pure spirit be the usherer of them in, by the word.  
Thirdly, abhor all those cursed colours, and mufflers of this sin: 
Things to be abhorred, Colours and Excuses of it.  which the fertile heart, can devise abundantly, to alleniate and lessen this sin! The Heart is the forge of all these tricks, and evasions. If the Lord have called this sin so terrible; let it be enough to thee; abhor the Devil's figleaves; & behold the filth of this skirt with detestation. Blanch it not over with thy Nature, (that worst of all) the propension of thy constitution, the strength of allurements, the difficulty of preserving thyself, the Generality of the sin, the slighty opinion of the Multitude. Abhor these cordially, or else the sin abides still, under dispensation and connivance. Then fourthly, as touching other inward fomenters of lust, (of which I briefly speak because I have prevented myself in the point of Chastity before) Abhor thy covers and shelters, 
All inward fomenters.  hope of impunity, hiding thine uncleanness under the shroud of a married whore, or of thy wicked friends and Abettors; such as the Devil will raise up to stick to thee, or any such as for a base bribe, will aid thee, and keep thee from open shame; Such impunity being forecast in the mind is an hardnor of the Adulterer in his sin: Abhor a luskish lazy heart, that delights in ease and idleness, loath softness, effeminateness and impurity of spirit, (a throughfare for lust) Also unarmednesse of the Soul, lying open and exposed to occasion, empty, swept and garnished, fit for the next Devil that comes: Abhor rashness and unstaidness, which will on the sudden betray thee, to the occasions of lust. Renounce all selfconfidence, and ventrousnes upon thy strength, as rather scorning to be snared, then humbly fearing snares, (for Alas! poor worm, who art thou, if left to thyself?) Know this, that lust will give small warning, it comes as a torrent: as the necessity of an armed man: There is the same metal in thee, which is in others; and they are soon snared, who fear least.  
Beware of self-love, which gives itself Allowance of the largest size, as loath to deny itself nothing which it covets, and counting nothing too precious, no liberty or delight too dear for itself; Abandon inconstancy and giddiness of spirit, which cannot stand its own ground, nor rest in one place, cleave to one task. For the bent of spirit to one settled object, study, calling, or lawful object, will divert the vain mind from frothy fancies, and ideas of unclean thoughts, companies, and allurements. A spirit whose banks run full of employment, will hardly be unsettled: but holds Satan at staff's end. Ask thy gadding, roving heart, whither she will, whence she comes, and what is her business, (as watchmen do Rogues) Examine the ground and warrant of thy journeys, travails, errands, and wander up and down, forsaking thy station, and family: Set thy kinfe to thy throat, if thou be an Athenian, daily lusting after new places, companies, pleasures, meetings, and delight? And whatsoever savours of carnal and sensual desire, know it cannot, but threaten mischief, and dispossess thee of thy watch: I speak still of such, as in appearance have given their names to christ, even these, (for I judge none, let every man judge himself) have so far taken liberties to themselves, in the brink, that they have fallen into the water. One of them once much pleasing himself in admiring the features and beauties of women, and stroking the cheeks of one with Wantonness, was by his wiser neighbour warned thereof, saying, These crimson faces (so he called them) will sadly cost you the setting on, one day: and so it fell out soon after; for such an aspersion was soon after cast upon him, whether true from man, or just with God) as brought his hoary head to the grave with sorrow. To teach all such gnats to beware how near they fly to the candle, lest they be burnt.  
And thus much for inward abhorrings: As touching outward, I will repeat nothing before said, 
All outward temptations.  in the chastity of Prevention; only, whatsoever occasion, threatens any affront to the fort of Chastity, and the preseving of the whole man in integrity and honour, renounce it. And so much for the first of the four heads of counsel against this sin of uncleanness, to wit, Abhorring of somewhat, be spoken.  
The second counsel is, 
Second Counsel.  to meditate of somewhat. And whereof? Surely of such things as might help to quash and quell lust: 
Meditate of sóme what.  and that partly concerning the sin itself, and partly the penalties thereof. And both these specials of Meditation, must be attended with two properties in general. First, that this meditation be wise, and secondly, that it be deep. 
2. Properties of it.  First I say, wise: for I would have this noted, that some things are of that nature, that some kind of musing of them, 
1. It must be wise.  is rather an incensing of the heart unto the sin, than any checking thereof. As are all such evils, as border upon the sensual appetite, and concupiscible faculty: of which sort especially is this sin of uncleanness. Many complain, that they muse much, of the odiousness thereof, that so they might abhor it. But they find it more and more to follow their hand: and to snare their spirit. And so the remedy proves much worse than the disease. And it fares with such, as it doth with two men at variance: who put their quarrels to compromise: But when wise men should set them at one, they fall on ripping up all circumstances of unkindness, offered each to other, that they part worse enemies than they met, and so make the wound incurable. So here, men meditate of the sensual and carnal occurrents of this sin, their base meetings, words, gestures, unchaste looks and acts, under pretence of a purpose more fully to detest and abhor them: But by this mean, the devil casteth fire into the dry powder of their concupiscence; and inflameth them to it the more. The reason is, because the sense and fleshly familiarity of the thoughts, do prevail against the spiritual hatred thereof. So it fares in other temptations, of an hideous nature, as Atheistical thoughts against the Majesty of God, or blasphemous thoughts against the Scriptures, or the essence, and Attributes of God: the baseness whereof the more we plod upon, (especially while Satan's wild fire is in the spirit) the more we are snared therewith. Therefore in such cases as these, the practice of Elisha to the servant of Jehoram, is to be followed: We must pray against the tenacity thereof, and force ourselves to handle such thoughts roughly at the door; and in no sort to give place to them: as knowing their Master's feet is not far behind them. Toss not thoughts off and on, about passages, which tickle the fancy, and wind in deeplier into it, than it can be rid thereof, yea though they were most irksome to it: But take up the sin in the whole lump and bundle: muse of the bitter root whence it comes, 
Psal. 51.  as David did, in his Meditations: Incense thy soul against the body of corruption, whence it flows, that wherein thy Mother conceived thee; and thence descend to the fruits of it, as, the wound which it leaves upon the conscience, the wrath of God, which it pulls upon itself; the curse of it, how it makes all the soil barren, blasts and wastes the grace of God, or the least show of any: Keep it thus at staff's end, but tamper not much with pitch, lest we be defiled. Such unwise meditation is not water to quench, but oil to increase the flame.  
Secondly, 
2. Propertie.  let this meditation be deep and solemn, both about the properties and the penalties of this sin. 
It must be deep about the properties and pen●dties.  Touching the former, the first meditation about it is, how spiritual a wickedness it is, especially under the cospel. It's like Absaloms' incest committed shamelessly in the sight of the Sun; before all Israel. 
Of the ●p●●itu ●●nesse of this sin.  It doth not only sin against moral light of the natural conscience, but also against the grace of God; and the remedy offered thereby. For the grace of God hath appeared to all, and teacheth them to deny all ungodliness, and fleshly lusts, and to live soberly, godly and purely in this present world. David's adultery was a moral act; but yet inseparable from spiritual wickedness: for he resisted conscience in point (not of moral light only, as any heathen might do) but of grace, and mercy from God, teaching him to abhor it. Yea, this very thing was the thing that made the Lord so severely punish it, both then and after; even because he fought against his spiritual light, embracing a lust, and the sweet of a base heart, with the loss of that sweet mercy of God, which he had tasted: Yea, against that sweet communion with God, which he had formerly enjoyed: both which he knew would be wasted hereby, as also that hereby the spirit of God was displeased and vexed with this rebellion, and the effects thereof, and h●s conscience gulled down and defiled with sensuality and security, yea hardened by the deceitfulness of sin: And hereby the enemies of God were caused to blaspheme God, his worship and the generation of the righteous. For our better conceiving of this point (in my judgement the most weighty of all to gaster a soul from such Abomination) let us observe, how the holy Ghost hath described it. Read and ponder that Heb. 3. 12. where the Apostle in effect tells us, that this is the nature of all sin committed against the light, and it hath these degrees: as the words do express. Take heed, lest there be in any of you, an evil heart of unbelief, to depart from the living God, but exhort one another, lest you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. 
Steps of spiritual sin.  Mark: first there is an evil heart of averseness from God, and enmity, or alienation from God, in each child of old Adam. Thus David confesseth himself guilty hereof, 
An evil heart.  in committing Adultery. Secondly, this being unsubdued in the soul by the word, breaketh out into outward and moral evils, 
Evil works.  as ill humours in the body, into sores and botches. So saith our Saviour, an evil man, out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil things; for out of the heart proceed all such draff: that's the nest and forge of them all. Both these make the heart, an evil heart.  
Thirdly, this evil heart and these evil works, become evil works of unbefeefe! 
Unbelief.  That is, whereas God hath ordained a blessed remedy of pardon and cleansing of both, lo, the love of an evil heart to her evil works will not suffer it to part with them, but chooseth rather to forsake mercy itself. They that embracelying vanities, forsake their own mercy. 
jona. 2. 8.  And our Saviour plainly, This is the condemnation of the world, 
joh. 3. 9  that light came into the world: But loved darkness rather than light, because their works were evil. jesus Christ received by faith, would have destroyed such works. But men loving them, and that darkness which nourished them, more than light, they added drunkenness to thirst, that is unbelief, to moral sins. And so sins which at the first were but dipped in the colour of Nature, being died in grain by contempt of light, became spiritual evils, consisting in a treacherous refusal of grace, that it might nouzle itself in sin more and more, which by embracing of grace, it might have been rid of. So that this unbelief, defending itself, in the practice of darkness, causeth the soul to be guilty of horrible villainy against the grace of God, and that spirit of Christ, which offereth itself to purge and wash it from sin.  
Fourthly, by this means there follows a Delusion and Defilemen: 
Delusion and defilemen.  of the soul: by the sweetness and deceitfulness of sin. That is, a Desertion of the soul, whereby it's left by the just hand of God, to the error of her own way, & choice: to be as it desired to be: so, that it becomes of avoluntarily, a necessarily seduced heart, thinking evil to be good, feeding upon ashes, as a perverted appetite will do upon coals, or chalk; it suffers conscience to be blindfolded and baffled, and the accusing power thereof, to become a defiled power; so that though it know sin to be sin, (as this of Adultery; yet being lulled asleep upon Dalilas' lap, it feels no sting, but dreams of ease, as Samson and David, who differed not in this from Balaam, save only in this that the spirit sustained and reserved their judegments, that they sinned not upon the last practical understanding, and choice of free will, but by prevention and temptation; But to their own sense, they had shaken off the spirit.  
Fifthly, from hence proceeds hardening of heart in the sin, against the recourse and checks of conscience. 
Hardness of heart.  Thus David, being once defiled and snared, so that he could go neither backward nor forward: he grew so hardened, that he resolved upon all those ways, whereby his sin might be concealed, extenuated, defended, and that with odious Circumstances; which what was it save (as much as in him lay) to put off the spirit of God, and to fulfil his lust, providing that he might not be unsettled. And lastly, (in some unclean ones, although the Elect cannot go so far) hence proceeds a departing from the living God, 
Departing from the living God.  a disabling of the spirit from returning back to him again, through an heart which cannot mourn, relent &, repent: & so finally a pouring forth of the heart to all other sin, without control, or restraint; yea some go so far herein, that they fight not only against the revealing light of the spirit but against the spirit itself, out of malice: And what wonder, if the restreyning power of the spirit be taken from such as have despised the saving power of it? Now, to gather up all into one, how woeful an hazard do all they run, as play the unclean beasts under the clear light of the Gospel? How do they lay the stumbling block of their own iniquities before themselves? For although I deny not a possibility of returning, so long as the spirit is greeved only, except it be despited also, yet who knoweth how far he may go in his descent, being not able to stop himself? And as for the Elect, how many bear themselves upon it, till they prove errand hypocrites? This Meditation therefore, let all such ponder deeply, who are given to slight this sin! 
1. Tim. 1.  what God may do for ignorant ones (as Paul speaks) I say not (though we see but few of these repent.) But for them, that sin wilfully after light, it's far worse.  
A second object of meditation, against this sin, is the peculiarness of it from other sins. 
Things to be meditated of, the peculiarnefle of this sin.  That of the Apostle is notable for this, fly fornication: why? All other sins part from the body, this abides in it: what's that? Other sins of wrath, theft, swearing, the like, abide not in, but pass away from the instrument acting them; (I say not in guilt but in act of cleaving: But this of uncleanness as it leaves no less scar in the Body than they, (rather more) so it leaves a far greater and more loathsome stain in the body: causing it to be a more irksome dwelling for the spirit of God, to be more loathsome to itself, and bears mark in the open sight of others of it own filthiness. 
That other sins are out of the body, but this is (as it were) within it.  If God then have set such a mark of this sin upon the body, as upon no other: and now much more than when Paul speaks; if other sins (in comparison) are without, but this within it: others by the body out of the body, this by et, and in it: that is, it is a more real and bodily sin, requiring more of a sinner for the perfecting of it, than others, yea forfeiting a piece of the body, in the committing of it; how odious is it? Again, if it be a more fulsome vice, and hardlier washtout (as before hath been said) If it shut God out of his Temple, yea, out of Poarch and all: I conclude, it behoves all, to beware lest they conceive that a more slight sin than others, which God hath branded with more peculiarness than others. I do not here speak of that loathsomeness which follows the act: of that before; But I say, The Lord loathes these leprous walls; what should such a one have to do with Prayer, Reading, Hearing, Sacraments, whose lips, eyes, hands, whole flesh is defiled with this sin? Who sees not the unsuitableness hereof? So that as the leper was wont to be shut out of company, to have his lips sown up, scarce suffered to breath, & to try out, unclean so here. This sinner shuts out himself from God, in that he cannot approach to him with avy) member without loath somns. I speak not this to exclude any Penitent from the free grace of God (though God who gives each penitent, grace, gives not each sinner to be Penitent:) for Rahab, Bathsheba, Tamar, yea a worse them all Mary Megdalene found mercy, & sorecoverd the honour of each member: but I speak odious the sin is, in peculiar. Let it therefore be a second Meditation against it.  
Thirdly meditate of that woeful separation which it makes inwardly, betwixt God and the soul, Few see this. But if union with God, 
Separates, from God.  be the root of all other Previledges, and a restoring us to our integrity: what then is separation from him, and cutting off from the fountain, save a curse? Now, who so is one with an harlot is cut off from God: For how can a man be at once a member of an harlot, and a member of Christ? Know you not, that who so is one with Christ, is one spirit? And what is he then, who is one with an harlot? Can he, with and in the same spirit, be united to one and to other at the same time? Doth he not, what lieth in himself to disjoint himself for ever from God, who is joined with an whore? Is it so easy to unlinke the chain of uncleanness, and to be knit to God, who is once enchained in the band of this sin? Or, can there be communion and influence maintained with God, while fellowship continues with Harlots? Is pureness and filthiness, so easily reconciled. A spirit of of hol●ies, with a spirit of Adultery? What communion between Christ and belial? Or, how can two walk together, except agreed? If then the spirit be sadded, & grieved, what joy can it have to walk with the soul? Where was David's fellowship with God become, when he had defiled himself? with what a conscience (think we) did he walk? What peace, joy, going in and out with God, had he? Or, why doth he so crave for the spirit, and for washing, and renned grace, save that he felt them withdrawn from him? And, if the Spirit of Christ be gone, what is the Name of Christ and of Communion, worth? Perhaps many an Adulterer pleaseth himself in this, that he is not yet cast out from the church! But why is he not cast out? Is God's judgement changed? Where then is that censure become, of which Paul speaks of, 
1. Cor. 5.  That ye being gathered together with my spirit in the Name of the Lord jesus, deliver such an one, (an unclean wretch) unto Satan, for the destruction of the flesh, that his soul may be saved, in the day of the Lord jesus. Is not here solemn excommunication against u●dcleannes urged? Neither let any cavil and say, This was in a case of high degree of this sin. 
And from the Church by Excommunication either inflicted or deserved.  For God's netres take all open sinners, in foul kinds, be the degrees what they what else meaneth that speech, Withdraw yourselves from every brother, who walketh inordinately? How? Except, by the censure, excommunicating him from Communion of Sacraments, and secret fellowship? Thus once it was: But the sin of man interverting the Censure, disanulles not the Ordinance, If such be not cast out, the greater is the shame of Neglecters, and the offender hath the greater wrong.  
And say, that he be not formally cast out by Discipline: hath he not really cast out himself by his Desert? As he once said of his Books, That they were published, and they were not, in effect: for none could understand, or be the better for them: so say I. They are in Communion, and they are not: locally, by intrusion, not spiritually, not by acceptation, so that (save for his pleasing himself sinfully) he is never the better for it. For why? Doth not Conscience within tell him, All who would thrive by the Ordinances, must cast up their gorge? So saith Peter, Casting out all superfluity, as new borne babes, covet the sincere milk of the word to grow by? 
The spirit of God Excommunicates him in the Court of his own Conscience.  And, are not all things unclean to the unclean? Doth not such a man's spirit say to him, as God to Elya, what dost thou here Elia? Why takest thou my word (pure as myself) into thy mouth, hating to be reform? Minister into thy mouth, hearer into thine ears, being both in thy body and spirit polluted? Can wrath or doubting (as the same Apostle speaks) hinder the lifting up of pure hands, and must not an unclean conscience much more? Can such a swine, coming into the Assembly to Sermon, or Sacrament, think himself to be in his place? Doth he not tell himself, a Stews, an whore's bosom are fitter for thee, than such a place as God's house? Now, if outward Communion (which yet many a sinner will buy with his money, or thrust himself into boldly) be so unproper for him, what then is Communion with the Graces of God, with his Saints, with the Duties of both Tables? Hath such an one any joy in his soul, peace with God, delight in his Service, exercise of graces, as seal, faith, meekness, compassion, patience? Or can he lay claim to an holy example? Are not these irksome objects to such, more fit to tear them in pieces to think themselves cut off, then to comfort them! So then let this be a meditation of great weight, to gaster the soul from all uncleanness, or to humble it being fallen, to consider, what a Gulf it sets between the Lord, and the soul, so that one cannot come at the other. And, woe be to him, that is alone! All ordinances, all duties, all graces, speaking thus to him, If God help not, how can I help thee, with the Barn, or the winepress? Influence being wanting, presence gone, what can second comforts avail? Do not all issue from union with the head? Do not all Conduit-comforts rise and fall with the fountain? Except then, thou carest not for God, for his spirit, or Christ, beware of uncleanness. For that laies-all Channels of the spirit dry, embarrens the soul of all heavenly savour: making it, as careless to have it, as it is empty of it. And these three may serve for a short description of the nature of this sin, and how we may derive Arguments from thence, to deter us from it. Now to the penalties.  
Touching which, 
Secondly he must meditate of the penalties of this sin.  they are either spiritual, or outward. For the former, the Reader may partly gather what the spiritual burden is, which God lates upon it, by that, which before I said of the nature of it: For, if it be so defiling, and hardening a sin, and so seldom is found in the way of repentance, who should not be afraid of it? Who is so stupid, as, 
In word.  seeing a drove of Adulterers going towards the den of the Dragon (the Devil I mean) with their foresteps, 
Awofu●l giddy drunkenness disabling the Sinner from repenting.  and observing so few backsteps coming from thenceward, would think any other, save that there they were devoured? And, who would dare to hazard himself upon such a point, as whether he should come back from tha●pit, from which its ten to one, if any at all return? That heathen Philosopher Xenocrates, may teach us wisdom herein: who was a Stoic of most exact chastity and morality: He, having read to his scholars deep Lectures of austerity, and abstinence from all pleasures; seeming to his Scholars to speak more than he had strength to perform: was attempted by them, what he was: they got an harlot of exquisite beauty, and laid her in his bed, to provoke him to folly. But he, according to his rules, abhorring the temptation, answered them, he would not buy repentance at so dear a rate: Surely, if he who had no more to lose, save his moral conscience, and feared, lest the forfeit thereof, would prove so irrecoverable; what should we Christians say who have our souls to lose, what should it profit, to win the world and lose them? or what shall be given in exchange of them? And, having no hope of recovering repentance any more, how should they tremble at so great a loss? In one word, this I say, that this sin hath a woeful spiritual giddiness and drunkenness annexed unto it, disabling the sinner from laying it to heart, except strange mercy prevent him; so that as Solomon speaks, in comparing the two sexes, so may I say, in comparing these with other sinners, I have seen of them, one of a thousand to repent, but of this, scarce one of a thousand. It's the Lords course to give over these sinners to their haunt and custom. It's said of Queen Tomyris, that having overcome Cambyses a bloody Tyrant in battle, and surprised his person, she cut off his head, and soused in a barrel of blood, saying, satiate thyself, with that whereof thou hast been always so insatiable. So saith the Lord to the Adulterers, since fleshly pleasure hath been that which thou hast always so hunted after: fill thyself with it for ever. Split thy soul against the rock and stone-wall of my seventh Command, at which thou hast so stumbled; let that grind thee in pieces. This curse of God, sealing up the heart of the Adulterer, gives him over, to his own sinful sweetness; so that, the surfeit thereof, doth so waste, and embezzle the spirit of such an one, that he walks up and down staggering in the drunken pleasure of his uncleanness: he is quite a sleep as Jona under the hatches; If any of God's Mariners (Ministers I mean) cry out, Arise thou Adulterer, call upon God, and pray, if possibly this tempest of wrath may be prevented; Alas! he is as that fellow upon the top of the mast, ready to topple into the Sea, and yet neither awakes, nor fears any danger.  
Once I knew (and still there be some alive, 
A fearful example of a debauched Adulterer, urged.  who will bear me witness) a most odious Adulterer, of seventy year old, who having long consumed his strength with harlots, (as he in the Proverbs) wasted himself and all; at last being laid in a barn (good enough for him) for no man could endure the vermin and savour which came from his rotten body, was rèquested thus, Potter (so was his forename) call upon God: he replied, with his ordinary oaths, Pox and wounds, is this a time to pray? thus he spoke at death: All his life long, the season of Prayer, and Repenting, was not come? And now at his death, lo, it's gone! As he merrily said of Marriage, either it's not yet time, or past time! Oh! its just with God to bereave such of all list to apprehend any sound notion of their misery! they are held off, from capableness to mourn after God: and in a following deceit of sin, 
M. Bol.  even to death. I heard once an Oxford man of worthy Memory in a Sermon relate of two students of eminent parts in that University, who were sunk in a brutish Custom of Tobacco, and Sack, and then, into a loathsome habit of unclean Pleasures, and in time, grew into such a slavish Impotency of spirit in those ways; that when Necessity urged them to return to their Chambers, they could not there rest, till they had pitched a new meeting, and so another; till in time they grew so enfeebled and passed all sense of Sobriety, that with their pipes and Pots at their mouths, they were fain to be had into their beds, and so miserably died. Alas no wonder! If drink and riot alone can do it, how much more when lust is added to it, as a threefold cord not easily broken? Both streams meeting in one channel, to overflow the banks? This is that Arrow of God shot through the livor of all such unclean ones; to be so enthralled to their lust, that all sap of the spirit is dried up, and a kingdom of uncleanness set up in their hearts and bodies, to carry them beyond all hope of repenting. Muse of this seriously, if thou wouldst root up the love of lust and kindle a deadly feud with it, never to be razed out.  
Touching the outward Penalties, 
Meditation of the temporal penalties of uncleanness.  what should I say? Or what can I add to that I have already said of God's judgements against this sin? Look to the former doctrine. Only I add this Exhortation, Suffer not thyself (when thou readest the judgements of God, against the Name, body, person of an unclean wretch) to pass away without Meditation, till they have wrought thy heart to a due abhorring thereof: yet, lest I might seem to mention this point for nothing, let me add one outward Penalty to all the former, and that is, That even Repentance itself is not able wholly to waste off the stain of this sin, from the Committers of it. Such is the wound that those men give to the Name of God; his religion and truth do suffer so deadly by their means, that God in justice suffers them to expiate it by an outlasting infamy. This was God's threat to David, Thou hast made the Enemies of God to blaspheme, therefore, lo, the sword shall never depart from thy house, nor reproach from thy name. That same text which shall most eternize thee for a man according to God's heart: shall again crock thee, saying▪ Save in the matter of Bathsheba: That's a back blow: yet just, for he thought his secret conveyance would cover all, but he saw not this; That the thing he had done, displeased the Lord: therefore he must feel it to his smart! His repenting God knew: but yet that must not serve to quit him of a work of sorrow, as before I noted. He that comitteth folly with a woman, is destitute of understanding: his blot shall never go out. Courts of men, absolve such from all aspersions, but when they are white and fair in them, they are foul and black in Gods. No time, no concealment of witnesses, no dwelling far off, no oaths of purging, no bribes must ever look to do it, when as Repentance cannot do it. Who should imagine a possibility of it, seeing what the name of David, Lot, Solomon, till this day, suffer for it! As a blur in fair cambrique, so is this always cast upon him as his shame. God doth not usually upbrayde his people: But this he always casts him in teeth withal: yet this Caution I add by the way, It is not lawful hereby, to condemn whom God hath justified: but to cover it rather for our parts: But for caution to others, the Lord will rather make a Record of it, and hang it on the file, than it shallbe forgotten. And when we hear the uncharitable imputations of men, fret not at them, but say, God is in it, he will keep it on foot: he will check the soul with it, and caufe the guilty thereof to possess the sin of their youth, as job did. If God shall conceal the shame of any, guilty of this sin, let them praise him, and make an end of all in his privy Chamber of mercy and Repentance, that so his open judicial proceeding in court may be stopped. Let this also add some weight of terror, and divorce thee from this sin: whip the slaves back with this rod: But the son will be drawn by love. So much for this second of Meditation.  
The third and last is, 
Third Council, P●●c●sing of somewhat.  to practise somewhat. And this is the main of all other helps, to rid us of this muscheefe. And it consists of sundry particulars. Touching all which, let the Reader understand, that they properly concern such as have been actually defiled with uncleanness in one kind or other. And these men, are either guilty of their Crime, during their estate of ignorance and unregeneracy; or else, 
Whom this concerns especially.  such as have revolted from that grace, which they have (either sound, or seemingly) received. To both, I would give some advice; 
Viz. 2. Sorts.  and first to the former. To that then, which hath been abundantly spoken of the Terrors of God against this sin, let this only be added, That all those men, whose hearts God shall touch for it, 
Such as are guilty of it only.  do lay them close to their hearts, that as that pearking presumptuous Asahel was met with and pierced in the fifth rib by Abners' spear; 
1. Branch.  so may these wild creatures be, 
Adulterers ought to humble themselves for it.  in their venturous provoking of God. Surely, such a giddy lightness is in every unclean heart: yea the religious: they cannot be solid, when as they would, (they are so drunken with this sin) except the law, or else that old Simeon speaks of, which must open and let out the thoughts of many hearts, 
Luc. 1.  do let out these wild and unbrideled affections. And, as that Asahel, 2. Sam. 2. being once darted through, was tame enough, and stopped in his wantonness; so let thy soul be earnest with God to step out of his ordinary way, to make an high sense and sharp hedge of Thorns, (which he doth but for few in this kind) yea to set an Angel before the door of that harlot, shaking a sword, that thou mayst no more venture to return. This will not be, till a fire be thrust into thy soul, to feel the intolerable wrath of God, upon all Whoremongers; which may so sting thee, that, as a man scalt or burnt, hath small joy or mirth, so the feeling of thyself in the suburbs of hell, may cause thee to feel small list or edge, to thy former occupation! Hell (my friend) is no paynced sire on the wall, (such as thou seest in Alehouses to make drunkards merry) but is kindled with the breath of God, who hath vowed to be a terrible judge, and consuming fire to all defilers of themselves with whores or harlots, single, or married: yet, entreat him, that this terror of his, may not be extreme and desperate, (as his was of whom I last spoke) ending in violent laying of hands upon himself, and preventing of Repentance; but rather break the force of lust, pull down thy jollity, that it may be as sad an object to thee, as was the murdering of the Lord of life to Peter's hearers, Act. 2. 37.  
And not only so, 
An aborsement under the mighty h●nd of God.  but stoop and quail under this terror of God; we see, prisoners at the bar, do not descant or quarrel with the judge; all their language is confession and supplication; for why? They know the judge hath them at advantage, their lives stand at his courtesy. Do thou likewise. Will God judge Adulterers? Stoop then at his bar; he can save or destroy. Other judges admit appeal, themselves may, and must be judged: their judgements may be questioned, disannulled, they sit but upon the breath and life of a man; Not so the Lord: he is judge of the high Court, a Sovereign, King, and judge. If he once pass sentence, no revocation, it toucheth the life of thy precious soul! This should affright all unclean persons! What suing and seeking is there, to the judges of spiritual Courts, if they threaten but the sheet? Oh! but here's a greater judge, that can damn thee in hell for ever! No bribes prevail here: he is like that enemy of Babel, who should scorn all gifts, and be above gold and silver. Submit therefore under his hand: confess thy damnation is just: lie prostrate upon the earth, with thy mouth in the dust, and say, oh thou the Sovereign God of the Creatures, enemy of all unclean wretches, if thou send me to hell, I have nothing to allege, if I perish, I may thank myself, thou hast power to destroy! Tremble at this Sovereignty, do not quarrel, nor shift, with him, there is nothing to be pleaded save mere favour, I can say nothing, why the sentence of death should not be pronounced against me.  
Secondly, seeing all repentance stands not in a preparative, go on, 
They must gather hope out of the promise to pardon it.  be earnest with God, to give thee a glimpse of hope in the Lord jesus, who was made all sin, and this by name (not only for David, but for the nature of man, and for thine) and hath satisfied the wrath of this judge, that he might say, deliver him, I have accepted a ransom. The law of Moses knew no such atonement: stoning and strangling was the end of it. As the judge tells some felons, that the law hath no mercy for them: their sins exceed it, so here. But the Gospel affords more grace: refuseth to pardon no sin, no offence, which the soul can be humbled for: I grant this will not easily enter so debauched a spirit, to dream of a possibility of such a grace; For, when that conscience which was so deeply benumbed, is once stirred to the bottom, it becomes as sensible, as ever it was senseless before; and while conscience holds under bondage, it's no easy thing to fee such an hope of grace by the Gospel. But yet, in this thy amazement, utter loss an despair in thyself, thou must wait upon God, who can sustain thy bottomless spirit, from sinking altogether; till in due time, he open a crevice of light into thy dark dungeon. 
See and consider.  And, when it shall please him, to turn thine eye towards some likelihood of finding mercy, in the way of promise; 
Jerem. 3. 2. 3.  follow this work hard. It belongs to the hopeless: not to such as turn this hope to a snare. Beg of the Lord to turn a terrified heart, into a melting one: that it is, which must mould an unclean soul, to a clean, and chaste one: no hammer can do this: mercy must dissolve it in the furnace of grace. Lin not, till thou feel that heart, which hath been drenched in the sweetness of lust, to be steeped in bitterness, over head and ears, for thy wounding the Lord of life, and his Virgin-pure flesh, to death, by thy unclennesse. Look not upon other sinners: thyself wert murderer sufficient of his sacred person: thou soughtest to destroy his Godhead as well as his flesh, if it had been in the power of thy sin! though there had been no other sinner in the world, thou hadst been enough. And shouldst thou not care (for thy base lust sake) to kill not a man only, an innocent Vrija, but the person of the Son of God? If this melting spirit be wrought in thee by the spirit of grace, thou shalt behold him, ' as pierced willingly and of his own accord for thee; who didst as little deserve it as Judas the Traitor, but yet, seeing thou hast a melting heart, which he wanted, and canst with Peter, weep bitterly, it's a sign that the curse shall turn to a blessing; yea thou shalt see God so ordering the matter for thee, and Christ so giving up his soul to the spears point of wrath for thee, that thine eye shall behold another sight, that is an enwrapped hope of forgiveness in this satisfaction of his: and of life in his Resurrection: so that now thine horror shall turn to hope. And know it, only this glimpse of Sunshine in thy dungeon of fear, can dissolve thy hard heart, and prepare thee for pardon.  
Thirdly, 
Branch 3.  let this hope, rip up all the seams of thine unclean heart; 
G●or●fie God in the confession of it.  and all that filth which lay hid in the entrails thereof, never like to have come to light, had not God revealed it, and uncased thee. Let, I say, this seed of hope discover that, which an habitual love of thy sin would have smothered for ever. For, this opening and ingenuous confessing of thy sin, will make way for further mercy. It's none of thy work, but the spirit of grace, that makes way for it. Now a frank heart is put into thee, to be as open, as ever thou wert close before, yea and to take as much pains with thyself, how thou mayst give glory to God, in a full confession, and turning up that cursed poke of falsehood from the bottom, pouring out all thy sin, as ever thou tookest care before to swear thine heart to an hellish secrecy. It's with thee, as with a woman who hath many old pieces of gold and jewels lying by her, which she is loath to forgo, although she might thereby make a sum for the purchase of fair house and land, yet perhaps rather then quite forgo the purchase, she will fetch them all, and pour them down upon the table. So, when hope of mercy offers itself, oh the pearl thereof (exceeding all petty shreds) will make thee freely disburden thy soul of whatsoever loads it, thy most beloved lusts: (I speak not now of abandoning the habits of them, that's mortification following after; but of the clear intention and meaning of thy heart to abandon without any base hollowness.) Oh! thou desirest now to spare God a labour of proclaiming thy sin before men and Angels! and, if it were meet (as it is, where God's ordinance may prevail) thou wouldst choose that place ratherest to shame thyself in, where the solemn presence of God, his Angels and Church are gathered together. Still I speak with caution, if thy sin have broken out publicly: but if thou hast kept it secret, thou art not tied to make thyself public: nor to take witness, except thy hard heart require it, to confess to others, for the breaking thereof; the reason is, because the way of Church-correction for open sins, is one, and the Evangelicall correction of the spirit of Christ in private is another. But usually these sins are open: and therefore openly to be proclaimed in confession, as in the committing: If mercy have touched thee at the heart never so little, it will work in thee, as God's voice in the Whale, when she vomited up Jona, upon the dry ground. thou shalt no more take care what become of thy lust, so thou mayst be rid of it: nor who shame thee, so thou be shamed, and sin have her due! Thou takest more care, how God may be honoured, in the abhorring of thy rebellion: how others may be flaited from the like; how thine own heart may be melted upon melting: not, how thou may mayst scape in an whole skin, and lie hardened in thy sty of uncleanness! No, 
This is as their bringing of their curiot's books, and burning them.  rather shall litter and whelps, and all, be raked together, and cast to the dunghill. I tell thee of a solemn thing, rarely seen: yet I will not say, I have not seen such a confessing spirit: Ephraim had it, when she smote upon her thy, 
Act.  the Publicant, the Prodgall, the Thief on the Cross: and here and there (as a berry left upon the bush) I have seen such as unfeigned Penitent, but, when I did so, I never pleased myself, with any object like it, I was almost ravished with it! and took it as a real mark of the Lords pardoning of it, in heaven, which was so performed on earth.  
And good cause, 
And why?  for, what shouldst thou care to nourish that in thyself, which thou purposest for ever to be divorced from! Therefore, here on Lord (say thou) comes the most tainted Adulterer that ever lived! 
Agravation o● sin needful for unclean Penitents.  These were my first allurements to filthiness, such and such companies, I haunted, such baits for my lust I maintained, so many base harlots, married, or single, I clavae unto! Such were the places I frequented, the filthy Sonnets I sang, the music, dance, revel, and wantonness I was defiled withal! yea, such and such were the colours whereupon I hardened my heart in sin, such fees, such bribes, such perjuries, such friends in Courts and Proctors I corrupted with money: and in this confusion I had lain for ever, had not mercy cast an eye upon me! No day, no Sabbath, or season of worship came amiss: no light of conscience could bear down my sin; no shame of world, no patience of thine, long winking at me, no good education, no hope of my friends, no terror by thy judgements could dissuade, I sinned against all. Here therefore, I uncase myself oh Lord! Against thee, thou Lord, have I done this villainy, in itself moral, in me spiritual, and in an high degree! I was ever tainted, even from the womb, and this my sin, is but one of a thousand, which the forge of my heart hath sent forth: If for this thou hadst drowned me in perdition, even in the act, burying me up in the bed of my lust, thou hadst been just; yea thy deserting of my spirit, cutting off my days, and sending me into the hottest place of hell, had been little enough for me! But oh! if thou shalt wash this spot away, and cleanse me with hyssop, I shall be whiter than the snow: what I am, is not the thing, confusion belongs to me for it, it's all I can plead: But there is mercy with thee, that thou mayst be feared: and some little hope hath opened my heart, to confess my sin, as, rather relying upon thy word, then upon my own fears, that thou wilt deal rigorously, and, of mine own mouth (as thou moughtst) condemn me!  
Fourthly, thou must not thus walk only with thy Penance faggot upon thy shoulders, 
Set before thine eyes the promises.  and the sheet of thy shame upon thy back, as one shut out, and excommunicated from the Assemblies, upon whose face thy father hath spit: But thou must set before thine eyes a double promise; One this. That if the Lord shall once accept thee, all thy former sins shall never be so imputed, as to cast thee off: Look that place in Jeremy, full of Comfort, If an harlot be divorced from her husband, shall he return to her any more? No surely. But lo, thou Adulterer, thou harlot, you have defiled the B●d which I made Honourable; yet, I will deal better with you; return, and I will accept you, 
jer. 3. 2. 3.  saith the Lord! And what upon tha●? Surely it shallbe with thee in my account, as if thou hadst never sinned. The Lord will open to such, a fountain for sin and uncleanness; This may seem as a cable to the eye of a Needle! such mercy for so graceless a wretch! yes, be encouraged: for the Lord looks not at the greatness of the sin, (if thy Traitor's heart distrust him not;) but at the expression of his own grace, and getting himself a name, in pardoning it; that, where sin hath abounded, grace might abound much more. A dog will catch at this moisell, and poison himself, for he will sin, to try a conclusion: But this must not east off a poor penitent soul, who hath sinned already, and been carried by the stream of his Sensuality. Neither must an hypocrite be bolstered: nor yet the grace of God to his own frustrate. 
The second.  And secondly, consider, What thou hast been, the Lord looks not at: he beholds thee in his Son, as washed, & purified, therefore willbe honoured, even by these members, which have most served the lusts of thy uncleanness. The Lord delights to see it so, if once the property be altered. Witness Mary Magdalene, (so highly honoured by Christ, to be the first witness of his Resurrection,) and so enroled in the book of God, that wheresoever the Gospel should come, her Name should be honourable. How did our Lord jesus admit her to come to his body, and with those eyes, hands, wherewith she had beheld, embraced, those tresses and forelocks which had alured so many unclean lovers, yet he was content to be washed, anointed, and wiped! what exceeding love is this, thus to restore an Adulterer to his blood, and to entertain him, to that dignity and service, which he had forfeited? Try thine own heart, in this Case; no other Medicine save this made of the blood of Christ, can satisfy for thy sin, nor wash off the guilt and stain of it!  
Believe this promise, apply this blood, and this willbe a true seed of abhorring it for ever. 
Believe the promise.  Faith will carry thee to the Cross of the Lord jesus, tell thee thus, I have seen him bleed and breathe out his last conflict with wrath, and overcome it, for the full expiation of thy uncleanness: if it could have overcome him, thou hadst lost the day, for ever: but seeing he got the victory, thy sin shall not damn thee, so long as he prevailed against death and hell for thee. Christ only, can make a divorce between thee, and thy sin, Till he shed his precious blood in the defiance of sin, the soul and sin could never be made Enemies. Only death, which separated his soul and body asunder can divide them. If then thou seekest no other moral shifts, nor carnal Popish ways of abhorring this sin, (at lest dost rest in no other) all is well. Thou takest a sure course to part with it for ever I Come in therefore, and clasp to this pardon, offered thee in the promise, sue it out, and apply it to thy soul. Perhaps thy base heart will choose rather to lose it then to take it God's way: But consider, since God will not stoop to thy way, and there is but one way to come to him, be it never so unwelcome, stoop to that way, and come in. Any way of thine own daubing with untempered mortar, will please thy flesh better than this. But, seeing, in them thou must perish, by this thou mayst be saved, to use Esai's words, in the promises there is continuance; 
Esay. 64 5.  in the other, lying vanity: cleave to this, and know, this only can satisfy God, and change thy lepers skin, therefore venture upon this. If thou canst possibly perish in believing this, 
Hereby thy heart must be changed from it and part with it.  perish: yet know, much more sure it is, thou must perish, except thou believe. If thou (like those nasty lepers) sit still in the city, die thou must, no shift of it; here thou mayst live; value thy life at no greater rate, than the life of a desperate man is worth: if elsewhere there were hope, thou mightst shrug at it: But, worse than thou art thou canst not be! if thou find more favour, than thou deservest, count it for a vantage. But howsoever, do not prefer assured death, before hope of recovery: nor lose it for venturing.  
Fiftly, 
Branch 5.  rest not here neither, but, if more mercy be showed thee, 
Sue out the destroying power of sin from Christ.  than thou lookedst for, (for God is best to a sinner, when he is past pleading) then, let this persuade thee to follow him, for further Grace. I mean, when the guilt of thy Conscience is gone, sue to him for Repentance; for the mortifying and subduing the rage, power, defiling and snaring property of thy sin: And begin with the root, kill there first, begin not with Adoni-bezek, at the finger's ends: Christ stabs the old man at heart first: As himself told the Pharisee, nothing, which comes from without can defile the man: But that which defiles the man, cometh from within. From the heart proceed, as other sins, so uncleanness, and all the fruits: Therefore, either purge the root first, or else let all alone. Thou shalt found this, a new work? Yet that faith, which hath washed thy Conscience and inner man from guilt and fear, and hell: Can purge thee a second way, from all slavery to thy lust. Mercy will act the part of a Priest, it will both set an eternal odds, between thee and thy lust: And it will mortify thy Concupiscence daily, till it be quite dead. It will trvely set thee on mourning; Truly work thee to an hearty indignation against thyself. It will teeth thee the art of sin detesting; which no wit of man, no skill of hypocrites can teach thee. It will intercept all thy succours of lust, thy provision to fulfil thy lusts: When the Court is pulled down who needs to fear suires in it? It will cause thee, (not, morally, but from a Principle of grace) to shun all means motives, provocations, and snares of uncleanness, which the Devil shall straw in thy way! That so, the oil being gone, the flames may vanish. It shall change thy unclean thoughts, affections, eyes, ears, into clean and pure ones. If thy harlot meet thee, and say, It is I: thou shalt answer, but I am not I, not myself. Another is become that in me which my cursed self was wont to be.  
The sign is pulled down, the Alehouse is let to a man of trade, no more harlots nor adulterers come there; new Lords, new Laws, all old things are done away, behold all things, are become new. I am redeemed with a price, not to be mine own: if my Lord and Master will endure lust, if any accord between Christ's body and an harlot ask him leave, and I obey: else, I am not my own. Oh! this Grace, shall bring thy lust to the horns of the Altar, bind it thereto with cords, cut the throat of it, with the sacrificing knife of the Priest. Thy Priest will teach thee to do that office very handsomely, to let out the rank blood of thy lust, and the strength and sway which it bore in thee; yea, it shall drag thine unclean heart to Golgotha, and nail it to the cross of thy Priest, with the same nails which nailed the body of Christ. It is happier to find out those Implements, Cross, blood, nails, tomb, and all, then ever Helen was, or any Popish relique-monger: and to make use of them too, to better end than at this day that Popish Covent of Friats do, who have hired those places of the Turk, built Temples, Altais, and silver floors in honour of the Passion. It shall cry in thy soul, Oh lust, I willbe thy death! oh Concupiscence, I willbe thy destruction! The sting of fin is death, and the strength of lust, is the law: But, thanks be to God in jesus Christ, who hath condemned sin in the flesh, & mortified it by the flesh of his holy body! hat neither guilt nor dominion might prevail, Pursue the victory, the Lord is with thee thou valiant man, and in this thy strength, fight and lin not while through thy Captain, both sin, and lust die in thee.  
Sixthly return to the Lord, 
Return to the Lord, in chastity for ever.  with full bend of soul to renounce all cleaving to the flesh, and to cleave to him, without separation. That grace which hath killed lust, will quicken the life of pureness in thy soul; it will indeed make thee a true Pentient, not only to renounce uncleanes, but to embrace a Chaste spirit, and live a Chaste life; to return to God in a contrary practice of unblameableness, all thy days: so far as weakness will permit; As he took off from thy jaws the yoke of servitude: so he shall make his own joake easy, and his burden light. He shallbe as one that layeth meat before thee! thou shalt be so preserved by the sweetness of grace, that all the sweetness of lust, of adultery, of lascivi usnes, shall stink before thee! so that they shall never have hope to recover thee into their possession any more. And what then remaineth? but when lust knows not what to do with thee; then thine ear be bored with God's awl, that so thou mayst be his servant, and walk in pureness and holiness, all thy days! The Lord bless this main Direction, with all other unto thee, and remember, none but Christ can heal this sore. And so much for the former branch of Counsel, to them, who are only guilty of the sin. I pass lastly to the other, who have revolted from this Grace once obtained.  
Lastly therefore, 
The second general in practice for such as have revolted to it again.  if thy uncleanness be yet of a deeper die, as being a revolt from the Grace of God, and the vow of thy spiritual baptism, once made; then know, the Cure is somewhat different from the former; Here then Remember that the seed of God in his, dyeth not: Therefore, if once God hath awakened thee out of this thy relapse, 
1 Counsel.  and the dead sleep of security under it, 
What such are to do.  which if he love thee, he will do by some three stringed whip or other which he shall make for thee, (as once he did for those defilers of his Temple) by some cross or stirring terrors of the word in thy soul, then take David's course. Beseech the Lord first that the despair and extreme horror which an ill conscience (sick of a relapse) might work in thee, through unbelief added to it, may graciously be kept off and so, thine heart may be stayed from utter departing from the living God, upon fear that he is wholly departed from thee.  
Secondly, 
2 Counsel,  remember, that the covenant of God, cannot be repealed: it comprehends thee, when thou canst not it. Therefore apply those mercies of old, and be comforted.  
Thirdly, 
3 Counsel,  take heed, lest Satan confound and oppress thy spirit by the conscience of thy base revolting, sinning against such mercies, and snarling thy soul with so many successive evils as thou hast heaped upon one another, without an heart to get out. For its an easy thing to lose a man's spirit and self in the devil's maze.  
Fourthly, 
4 Counsel.  with a penitent heart for thy treachery, that thou shouldest kick up thy heel against former mercies and covenants; behold that promise, of which I formerly spoke, and apply it unto thy soul, as thou art able, knowing that (whatsoever Satan hath to gainsay) the Lord jesus was made all sin, both of rebellion against, and also revolt from God, that thou mightst be his righteousness, and recover it, having lost it.  
Fifthly, 
5 Counsel.  let the affliction of thy soul, so deeply cease upon thee, till (through mercy) it have soaked into thee, and pierced thee as deep as thy sin hath pierced God: as the tent must go as deep as the sore is festered, and fetch out the bottom scurf: content not thyself with such an humbling, as thy slight heart would admit: For this is one attendant of this sin, to be light and wanton, and not to be able to be serious. Therefore, set thine heart to it, mock not God: make not the remedy worse than the disease, that thou shouldest even be fetched in again by Satan's claws, ere thy repentance is finished, which were to unsettle the work of God in thee, and work thy heart to a despair of recovery. It hath been the portion of many unclean ones, never to get a serious spirit. If therefore thine heart be once down, hold it, as if thou shouldst keep cork under water, and trust it not: pray thus, withdraw from me all objects of vanity, and teach me thy law graciously! Arraign, accuse, condemn thyself, judge thyself, lest God judge thee: and till God raise thee, be content to lie low, bear the indignation of the Lord, because thou hast sinned: and be glad, if any such vein of wrath may be let into thy soul, as may truly subdue thee under the mighty hand of God, that he may raise thee up. Think not the time long, take leisure; an heart long defiled, a vessel once fusty, will hardly change her hue, nor be sweetened.  
Sixthly, 
6 Counsel.  let faith always come between thy sinning and thy repenting: solder not up a repentance of thine own: its bad in any sin, but deadly in this: such sudden leapings out of one contrary to another, may admit as easy a relapse from this to the former. And so thou mayst make thy fall, to become a falling sickness, if the power of pardon and purging come between thy sin and thy redress, then is the cure from God, and from Christ the sure Physician, whose healings are sound, and perfect. Let his blood come into thy nasty soul, come between thy sin and thy spirit, loosening the sweetness and the defilement thereof from thee, or else it will return. Moral plasters may hold, while the soul is in fear: But when sensuality returns, she breaks all such cords in sunder.  
Seventhly, 
7 Counsel.  when God hath healed thee, go thy ways: and think thou meetest with him, that said, Sin no more, lest a worse thing happen to thee, 
John.  even an impenitent spirit: Let the experience of thy revolt, bind thee to a double care and fear of time to come: 
2 Cor. 7.  as that incestuous Corinthian, a kindly Convert (and as fit an object as any, to be set before a relapsing Adulterers eye) approved his repentance, so do thou thine! How rare a sight were it in these days to see such an one, so swallowed up with sorrow, that the Church had need to comfort him, in all the haste, for fear of despairing? Oh! mourn for the wasting of the spirit of grace, by an unclean spirit of thine own! count thyself cut off, moan thy condition in the ears of God, and beseech him to set thee so in joint again, that thine heart may be stronger than ever, to resist: think thyself unworthy to be restored to the Communion of Saints: be as an excommunicate in thine own eyes: as those offenders in the ancient times, who were hardly and by degrees admitted to the Assembly: Then the judgements of the Ministers, were so harsh, as if such might not be admitted; (as Cyprian and others erroneously thought) but to be sure, they were admitted with great difficulty, for fear of second relapses. But now our discipline is in a contrary extreme: be thou a law to thyself. 
8 Counsel.   
Eightly, if thy revolt have been open and public, let thy repentance be so: Think not, that remarkable offences will be huddled up in the Court of heaven, without open repentance, and more than ordinary humiliation. Most men's plasters are too narrow for their sores. But if we observe God's penitents, you shall see that their revolts were never so famous, as their repentings have been eminent. Thou hast sinned with David: repent also with him, and let the Church be well satisfied, she hath not lost a member.  
Ninthly, 
9 Counsel.  be content to bear the reproach of thy sin, for ever, as a burden, upon thy back: yea to carry it written in great letters upon the forehead, if God think meet to exercise thee in that kind. Not thou, but he, must judge of the breadth of thine offence. It's to keep down thine heart, which would ever be pearking up, and floating aloft, and running to the like excess. Better, have thy faggot always upon thy back.  
Tenthly, 
10. Counsel.  return to so much the more close and narrow walking with God, watching to a chaste and inoffensive course not only against open evils, but even secret-suspitions; and learn to sanctify the marriage bed against such ●orraine provocations. But, if any desire to read more of this Argument, I refer him to my Treatise of the Sacraments, part 2. and the Chapter of Sacramental Repentance. So much here may suffice.  
Use. 5 Fifthly, if God himself, be so severe a witness and judge of Adulterers, 
Caveat.  thundering out such threats against them; let it be a caveat to all Magistrates, 
Magistrates to whom this work belongs must look strictly to the Censure of God.  and Governors, both Civil and Ecclesiastical, who take upon them the censures of such Delinquents, to look to themselves: you are in the place of God's Officers, you should execute the authority of God: Do in these cases, as the great judge would do: If he sat in judgement, he would verefy this threat here in my Text▪ Perhaps its not in your power, to do as he would do, if he sat in Commission against Whoremongers; But yet, as far as lies in your power, show yourselves swift witnesses, against this crew, which doth now so swarm in Cities, great towns, and generally every where, and among all sorts, that they will make the land rue it, & spew out her inhabitants, as once Canaan did hers. Consider what a vengeance this one sin (not to speak of others, both spiritual & moral) might justly bring upon this our land, which groaneth under it as much as ever Israel and juda did, to which God doth threaten such terrible plagues by Esay, jeremy, and other Prophets, for their fullness of bread, the sins of Sodom, & their neighinglike horses after their neighbour's wives, or else after other harlots, which perhaps in England is the more frequent. Suffer not vile Adulterers (making open profession of it) to live with their Harlots and Bastards, under their noses, nay in the beds of their wives, expelling them, and harbouring the other in their bosoms, with despite. Do not through bribes, and flattery, or an ill Conscience (privy to the like evils) through sloth and ease, or love of sin, seek pretences, to shift your hands of censuring such, and so connive at them! But by what means possibly you can, vindicate the honour of God, assoil the land of the just plagues which she is liable unto, for hatching such vipers in her Bosom. Be vicegerents of God will you not judge them? Yes judge these sinners, I say not stone them (for it's beyond your power, and the long impunity of this sin, hath hardened the hearts of men in their Impudence,) but send them to the Cart, to the house of Correction, to the sheet and shame of their uncleanness; to excommunication from the Sacraments, and the fellowship of Christians. Post not off these men from one Magistrate to the other, as if neither were willing to brand them with shame, they have sinned both against Church and commonwealth, let them pay for both. But in no wise harden them by allaying, releasing, exchanging of Censures. If you discharge those, whom God holds guilty, turning such heinous sins, to mere Pageants, huddling up that which the Lord would have proclaimed on the tops of houses, know it, your lives shall go for theirs: God will call you over himself, and when he punisheth Adulterers themselves, he will judge you, for not executing his judgement upon them: which have prevented it, and spared their souls.  
Lastly, let this Point be also Encouragement and Consolation, to all such as are pure in heart and body: without shall be Dogs, and Swine, sensual Epicures, unclean persons: within shallbe all clean and chaste ones. And this conclusion, I cannot omit, as having before grounded it in the text. Marriage is Honourable, and the bed undefiled, and God will bless all that so preserve it: But whoredom and Adultery are odious and base in God's esteem, and he will judge all such as pollute themselves thereby: you see that the Parallel of the two members of the Text doth necessarily import it, Blessed art thou that fearest the Lord in this particular: Thy wife shallbe as the vine about thine house: Thy Children as olive plants about thy Table: The Lord shall bless thy Stock and store, thy goings out, and coming in: thou shalt eat of the fruit of thy labours, and see the travail of thine hands: with peace and prosperity to Israel. As all the plagues of the unclean shall pursue the former: so, shall all the blessings of the clean, follow thee. Thy body shallbe clean, thy health continued, thy posterity shallbe pure and be free from pollution, as an holy seed: thy estate shall prosper: thy Name shallbe savoury, and as an Ointment poured out: Thyself shalt see God, for so shall all pure in heart do: and the Lord shall bring thee forth with honour one day with chaste Joseph, whom God released from all false aspersions; lo here are they that have washed their garments in the blood of the Lamb, walk undefiled, have not touched any unclean thing, therefore I will be a father unto them, and they shallbe Sons and Daughters of the Lord Almighty: yea thy foul garments shallbe all taken from thee, and the clean linen of the Saints shallbe put upon thee, and thou shalt walk with Christ in white, for he hath counted thee worthy! Only, preserve thy soul in suitable purity with thy Body: keep both in holiness and honour: and thou shalt inherit all the promises of God, made to such.  
The Papists do not so much magnify their vestal virgins, because they are not defiled with men (though many of them are) as the Lord shall honour thee before men and Angels, as his chaste and undefiled spouse, and set a Crown of glory upon thine head. Thy marriage shall not prejudice nor slain this virginity, fear it not, such as have abused this honourable estate, calling it a life of the flesh, shall not come where thou hast to do, to interrupt, to disturb thy happiness. Enjoy this thy Comfort here: Separate thyself from all uncleanness of body and spirit; yea hate the Garment spotted with the flesh. Separate the precious from the vile, and thou shalt be honourable! Oh ye Ministers of the Lord that carry his vessels in your hands, and draw near to him, be ye clean, and handle not his matters with unclean hands: defile not his Bible, his Church, sacraments, Ordinances with polluted hands, 
●er. 15. 19  bodies: and the Lord shall say to you as to his Prophet, you shallbe precious! Finaly, to conclude, All ye his people, who have got out of this depth of uncleanness, be truly thankful to God, never cease to magnify him, for so narrow a escape, and so great a Deliverance; it's a thousand to one, that ever you got out of this pit: do not try conclusions, put it not to the venture, by sinning again, whether God will pluck you out the second time. If you will try, know, that if ever at all, you get to heaven, you shall find it an hard work. Play not the Mountebanks, to thrust your flesh through, because you have balm at command to thrust after it: you may perhaps miss of it when you would have it: and if God save you, it shallbe as through fire: though God cannot repent, if ever you were his, yet he shall make every vein in your hearts to ache, ere you come to feel it: and that Kingdom of God, which else might have afforded large entrance unto you shall now become a narrow passage: If you love your souls, bring not such a needless sorrow upon yourselves: It's enough, too much, thate you spent so much of your former days, in the vanity of the flesh, & the service of your justs: spendther in holy awe, and godly fear! Say with Hezekia and David, The living shall praise, thee, the dead will not; 
Jonah 2. 8. 9  can not. But I will sacrifice to the Lord, with the voice of thanksgiving. Salvation is of the Lord. To him, Father, Son, and Spirit, Unity in Trinity, and Trinity in Unity, be all honour and praise for ever! Amen.    

A Table of the principal things of this Treatise Alphabetically framed.  

A.  
THe Analyse of the Text. Pag. 1.  
Admonition to prevent the dishonour of Marriage. 14.  
Admonition to the religious party Married to the irreligious. 37.  
Advice of the most judicious friends requisite for marriage. 54.  
Aptness and suitableness required in marriage. 60.  
Acceptions against the general rule. 62. 63.  
Who are Apt or unapt. 62. ibid.  
Admonition against overweening our own strength in unapt marriage. 65.  
Affecters of unequal marriages, to learn to be wiser. 69.  
Admonition to all parties to beware of their marriage promises. 102.  
Admonition against discord in marriage; Sundry Caveats. 1. Be not confident of your own strength. 2. Pray for this Grace of Amiableness. 3. Put on the Lord Jesus Christ his meekness. 4. Renounce not God to use Carnal shifts. 5. Each parts keep the several bounds of their place. 6. Be prepared before for the hardest. 194. 195. 196. 197. 198. 199. 200.  
Instructions to forward Professors to beware of the sin of Adultery. 352.  
Admonition to usurping women in matters of God, taxed. 284.  
Admonition to the wife against the evil of priding herself in her diligence and housewifery. 295.  
Attire of women subject to their Husband's direction. 275.  
Adultery a great sin; Objections against it answered. 329.  
God will have all uncleanness laid open in his colours us odious. 330.  
Reasons of the point. 333. 1. Uncleanness is a very near and natural affection. 2. Men are very pro●e to blanche it over. 3. This sin enchanteth and bribe●h the judgement. 4. Adultery is full of Colours and excuses to hide itself under. 5. Either for prevention of the sin, or stopping the mouth of the Sinner. 6. that sensuality might have the more strong dissuasives to 337.  
God's judgements against Adultery and uncleanness in many Branches. See, Judgements.  
Instructions to be subdued by the Terror of God against it. 315.  
Admonition to all unclean ones. 348. in two Branches. 1. Desace not God's way. 2. To preve●t the sin. 349.   

B.  
IN Couples where both are Bad, the woman commonly is the worst. 24. in ●ine.  
Good admonitions to Bad Couples. 36.  
When the good and Bad join together, seldom is the worse bettered by the good, but often the better is marrea by the worse party. 37. 38.   

C.  
COmfort and encouragement to good couples who honour their marriage. 17.  
Jewish Contracts what and how solemnised, Pag. vid. Contracts.  
Civil ones and no more, unsafe matches for religious ones. 33.  
Connivers only at, and not approovers of religion in their Yokefelowes taxcd. 39  
Comenders of religion in their wives for by ends reproved. ibid.  
Counsel for such as draw in an evil yoke. Pag. 41. 1. Rip up thy state to God. 2. Red●eme old errors and pray for pardon 3. Pass by pardonable faults. 4. Fret not at thy Lot. 5. Utter not thy greivances easily. 6. Justify not th●ne own sins by another's. ibi & seq.  
Continency a rare gift of God, therefore to be sought for of him▪ 49.  
No Curiosity to marry aptly. 64.  
Corruption always affects a contrariety to the Law of apt marrying. 67.  
Contemners of equal marriage reproved. 69.  
Counsel to such as are already unaptly married. 70.  
Contract and consent of Parents in marriage handled. 71.  
Consent of Parents necessary for marriage, and why. 71. ibid.  
Exceptions against the strict rule of Parents Consent in marriage. 77.  
children's objections against Parent's carelessness in their marriages answered. 79.  
Counsel given them what to do in their supposed wrongs. 80.  
Parents obstinate to Consent to be kerbed. 81.  
Question about Parents Consent answered. 81. ibid.  
Cavils of such answered as plead for maintenance and respect from Parents whose consent they neglected. 84.  
Dissembled and forced consent of Parents by children is sinful. 85.  
Half Consent of Parents, or consent after contract, is faulty. 86.  
Contract of marriage in what sense here used. 96.  
In what respects such Contracts may be said to be essential. 104.  
Contracts very ancient and of general use. 105.  
Jewish Contracts what, and how solemnised. ibid.  
Act and performance of a solemn Contract how to be done. 106.  
Disdainers of Contracts taxed. 121.  
Contracted couples must prize their Contract. 123.  
Special Counsel touching it. 124.  
'Cause of the unhappy and unprosperous estate of many Couples is the want of their joint Religion. 137.  
Chastity the main joint duty of marriage. 163.  
Proofs of it. 164.  
Amplification of the point. 166.  
Reasons for it. 1. Chastity is the main support of union 2. The defilement of each party, defiles the whole marriage. 3. God hath ordained one for one. 4. It covers all other defects, but is covered by no other endowments. 5. It is the corner stone holding in all the building. 6. Because it honours marriage in many respects. 1. In the fruitfulness of the womb. 2. Blessing of legitimation. 3. A curse is turned to a blessing hereby. 167. to 171.  
Chastity to be preserved and in how many things it consists 172.  
Chastity of spirit necessary, and why. 172. 173. ibid.  
Chastity of prevention necessary; wherein it consists? why here urged. 173. 174. 175.  
Chastity of Bed needful; heathen men shame Christians in this▪ Two Extremes here to be avoided. ibid. 175. 176. 177. 178. Some marks to know moderation. ibid. 178.  
Popish forced Chastity and affected abstinence from the benefit of the Bed, compared. 179.  
Inconvenience of both unjust abstinence, and excess of liberty compared. ibid.  
Chastity of Body needful: what is meant thereby; Exhortation thereto. 180. 181.  
Consent between Couples a joint duty and needful. 184. Reasons. 1. by the experience, both bad of such as want it, and sweet of such as enjoy it. 2. The preciousness of it. 3. It hath a divine instinct in it. 4. It brings God into the Marriage. 184. 185. 186. 178▪ 188.  
The praise of consent. 186.  
Consent stands in three things. 1. Consent of Heart. 2. Of speech. 3. Of Life. 188. 189.  
Consent exhorted unto and urged, 200. What ought to be done by both after their differences, with the conclusion of the point. 201. 202.  
Cohabitation of Husband with Wife a necessary duty. Many abuses of this kind taxed. Humiliation to such, 217. Reproach of seperaters. 218.  
Conditions requisite in a Wife in the acting of God's matters. 286.  
Whether wives may give to Charitable uses or not. 272.  
The mother's Consent in Marriage not absolutely required. 81.  
Exhortation to Chastity to keep our Vessels with holiness and honour. 354.  
Three counsels propounded. To abhor somewhat. 1. Thine own self. 2. Thoughts of contemplative uncleanness. 3. All colours and excuses of it. 4. All inward fomenters of it. 5. All outward Temptations. Counsel. 2. To meditate of Somewhat. 2. Properties of it. 1. That it be wise. 2. That it be deep and serious; About both the Properties and penalties of this sin. First the Properties and they are three. 1. the Spiritualues of this sin showed in six steps or degrees. 1. An evil heart. 2. Evil works. 3. Unbelief. 4. Delusion and defilement. 5. Hardness of heart. 6. Departing from the living God. Secondly, meditate of the peculiarnes of this sins evil. The third thing that it separates from God; And from Communion through Excommunication if not inflicted yet deserved. The spirit of God excommunicates him in the Court of his own conscience. Then secondly meditate on the penalty of this sin. 1. A giddiness and drunken security, disabling the sinner to lay it to his heart. A woeful example of it, from 354. to 368.  
Then secondly temporal penalties of it. 369.  
The third Counsel to practise somewhat: and that concerns either such as have been only guilty of it, or else relapsed to it after conversion. For the former they must practise 1. Due humiliation and abasement, under the hand of God. 2. They must gather hope out of the promise of God to pardon it. 3. Glorify God in the confession of it. 4. Set before thine eyes the Promise in 4. respects. 5. Sue out the kill power of Christ to destroy lust. 6. Return to the Lord in chastity for ever. Lastly such as have revolted to it again, must take counsel in divers particulars. to 384.  
Encouragement to all undefiled ones. 385.  
Magistrates both Civil and Ecclesiastical to whom the censure of lust pertains, must be in God's stead to judge and censure all unclean persons. 384.   

D.  
DIverters of their wives from Religion to other matters reproved. 39  
Duties of Parents toward children unwisely suffered to link themselves. 78.  
Dissensions of religious couples the shame of profession. 190.  
Difference in Couples, wherein it stands. 313.   

E.  
ENtrance into good marriage requires Marrying in the Lord, and apt marrying in the Lord. 21.  
Exhortation to it in many branches. 45. 46. 48.  
Error of the time and prejudice of outward compliments must be abhorred by him who would marry in the Lord. 51.  
Exceptions against the general rule of apt Marriage many. 62.  
Exhortation to Parents not to fail their Children in the business of their Marriage. 95.  
Exhortation to all good couples, to close together in Religion both inward as Faith; and outward in Family worship and private, 138. 141. 143.  
Exhortation to private intercourse with God. 145.  
Exhortation to wives to be helpful in their places. 302.  
Encouragement to such. 303.   

F.  
FAith the main Duty for couples to join in: The infinite miseries of a married life, for lack of it. 140.  
Family duties and private worship, necessary for the married to join together, closely in. The causes why. The duty opened, urged. 141. 143. 144. Counsels about it. ibid.  
Forced and loveles marriages dangerous. 154. and in what respects. ibid.  
How far the wife may undertake the service of God in her Family. 268.  
Of choice of wives out of Bad Families see Wife. Fornication a great sin. 331.   

G.  
GOd is seldom found out of his way. 26.  
Grace levels all disproportions in Marriage. 27.  
Grace must be preserved, yea all counted as dross to Grace for a good Marriage. 52.  
Good Marriages must be bought. 53.  
Guardians and Governors and bound to look to Orphan's Marriages, aswell as Parents to children's. 73. How they fail therein by sundry abuses. 93. The woeful fruit of it. 94.  
gracefulness, a third peculiar duty of the wife to her husband. 304. what this gracious virtue is, ibid. Two things in it. Matter, and that is Grace. Especially these 7. 1. Humility 2. Self denial. The 3. Faith, & both in the truth, & in the life of it. A. 4. Innocency. 5. Zeal and piety. 6. Mercy and compassion. 7. Confidence with others as cheerfulness & sincerity etc. from. 305. to 312. Secondly, The Form or temperature of it, in what it consisteth. ibid. graceless and bad Wives what miseries to their Husbands. 314.  
Graceful wives must express it to their Husbands. 315.  
Husbands that are happy in the grace of their wives, must return the like. ibid.  
General uses arising from the whole Treatise. 316.  
Objection about degrees of Grace in either party of the Married. 56.   

H.  
HEathen opinions of fornication. 3.  
Honour of marriage upheld by two means, viz. Good entrance and good continuance. 21.  
Honour of marriage stands both in joint acts and several. 128.  
Motives to the Husband to love his wife. 160.  
To the wife to love him. 162.  
Humiliation meet for all couples who have lived in dissension. 192. the duty urged. 193.  
Ill Husbandry what it is. 233.  
Husband's especial duty to be a man of understanding. 203.  
What that understanding is; what particulars it stands in. 1. In what not, viz. Not in an high spirit. 2. Not in a rash selfe-wildnesse 3. Not in knowledge without practice. 4. Not in yielding to good counsel without embracing it. 5. Not in giving counsel to others, taking none ourselves. 204. 205. 206.  
Secondly, in what it consists? 1. In renouncing our own understanding. 2. To be first subject to God, and so to guide the wife. 3. To be more sensible of a burden, then of an honour. 4. To be qualified with a spirit of Grace, for all occasions. 206. 207. 208.  
Wasteful Heirs overthrowers of their marriages. 232.  
Unnatural Husband's language. 244.  
Several duties of the Husband to the wife. Look Wise.  
Husbands though but meanly parted deserve subjection by the Ordinance. 260.  
men's Hearts not so tender as women's if they be right. vide Men.   

I.  
Jew confuted in his conceit of marriage. 2.  
Joint acts of the married 4. 1. joint Religion 2. joint Love. 3. Chastity. 4. Consent. 128.  
Jealousy between couples most odious. p. 182. Remedy for the wronged party. ibid. The duty urged. ibid.  
Idleness in a man's calling to be avoided. 225.  
Engrossing many farms at once ill husbandry. 234.  
Impudence in usurping wives in matters of God taxed. 284.  
God deals with his own by Judgements and threats, and why. 328.  
Godly persons have a slavish part in them as well as a free. 329.  
Judgements of God grievous against uncleanness: In many Branches declared. 1. God's dearest servants not excluded from this sentence of punishment. 2. The offspring of the Adulterer excluded for many generations, from the Tabernacle or Temple worship. 3. The old penalty of Adultery, death without Remedy. 4. Severe Judgements executed upon Adulterers do show it; sundry of th●m in Scripture and from experience mentioned. 5. Manifold marks of wrath upon uncleanness. 1. Upon the Soul. 2. Upon the Name: When men have have failed God hath struck in. 3. Beggary. 4. Coherence of uncleanness. 1. Upon the Soul. 5. It's the Devil's Nest-egge. 6. Consequences of mischief upon it. 7. Upon the Body. 337. to 346.  
Instruction to men to be subdued by the terrors of God against it 351.   

L.  
Conjugal Love the second mutual duty of the married, handled. 146.  
Love Matrimonial being preserved causeth marriage to be honourable. ibid.  
Love of the married not only bred by instinct, but oftentimes also by other occasions outward inducements and motives. 147. 148.  
Love conjugal neither only a natural, nor yet a religious thing, but a mixture of both. 150.  
Love necessary for sundry reasons. ibid.  
Love though a joint duty of both the parties, yet hath a different carriage in either, and what? 152.  
Love will not nourish itself but must be nourished daily between couples. 155. and by what means it may be so. 156.  
Admonition to the joint practice of conjugal Love. 157.  
Danger of the breach thereof. 158.  
Exhortation to Love jointly. 159.   

M.  
Marriage is honourable: The main doctrine proved and reasoned at large by 4. reasons 1. In respect of the party. 2. The nature of marriage. 3. The use of it. 4. The sacrednes from p. 4. to the 9  
Marriage abhorred by the base life of many couples. 13.  
Marriage no buckler to fence off reproach in bad causes. 15.  
Marriage no loose nor idle way of service. 18.  
Encouragement to religious Married couples. 19  
Miseries shunned by good couples. ibid.  
Married couples must serve God in their time. 20.  
Marrying in the Lord, what? Some marks of it. 1. Sight of unworthiness of this favour. 2. They see a reconciliation. 3. Their hearts are broken by it. 4. They being convinced of God's ends believe it. 5. From hence they are encouraged to obey. Other lesser marks added. 22. to 24.  
Rash Matches unblessed. 24.  
jewels of the Marriage Ring 4. 1. Faith, with humility and self denial. 2. Peace. 3. Purity. 4. Righteousness. 25.  
Trials of Marriages many. ibid.  
By ends in Marriage oft plagued by God. 26.  
Objections concerning Marriage answered. 28. 29. 30. 31.  
The Man having the leading hand in the onset of Marriage, had need be the wiser in his choice. 57  
Touching Marrying in the Lord three questions answered. 58.  
Apt Marrying is as necessary for entrance, as Religious Marrying. 60.  
Marriage must be honoured in preserving the same unsteined during the conversation of it. 126.  
Married persons who forsake their own fellowship in worship, and run to strangers with complaints, faulty. 136.  
Marriage dishonoured by base trades and courses of life. 232.  
men's hearts not generally so tender and zealous as women's if they be right. 309.  
Marriage is a shadow of the spiritual union of Christ and the Church p. 321. 1. In their meeting and Marriage itself, and how. 2. In their mutual converse. 1. What Christ is to his Church 2. What his Church is to him. 322. 323.  
Doubts concerning Marrying in the Lord answered eight of them. p. 28. 1. Many do well wanting Religion. 2. It may grow in time afterward. 3. Many have failed in seeking good wives. 4. Many Religious ones have perilous qualities. 5. What shall become of the It religious. 6. But we are snared already. 7. Very few such are to be found. 8. Parents cross good Matches. p. 28. to 31.  
Papists taxed for their dishonouring of Marriage. 9  
Papists have their personal Sacraments. ibid. Practice and life of Papistical uncleanness justly plagued by God. 10.  
Marriage with them that are only civilised, unsafe. 33.  
By-respects in Marriage, as Portion, and Beauty, and the like, oftentimes by the just judgement of God, prove unfortunate. 33. 34. 52.  
Advice to be taken in Marrying. See Advice.  
Marriage why called a Match. 61.   

N.  
Women ought to Nurse their own Children. 279.   

O.  
OBservation of the spirits of each others, meet for such as would marry well. 55.  
Objection of the fruitfulness of hearts and the barrenness of some chaste wives answered. 170.  
The personal offices of each party, the husband and the wife. 203.   

P.  
Profane scorners to marry in the Lord terrified. 31.  
Prayer requisite for good marriage. 53.  
Parents cannot do as they would in matching of their Children. 73.  
Parents must observe the condition of their children. 79.  
Questions about Parents consent answered 81.  
Terror to all Rebellious children who marry against their Parent's consent. 83.  
Parents may be shy to rebellious children, and why 84.  
Exhortation to marry with consent of Parents. 87.  
Dignity of Parents. 89.  
Reproof of them that neglect the care of their children. 89.  
Parents must walk in a middle way between austerity and folly towards their children. 89.  
Base shifts and respects of Parents in disregard of their children to be taxed. What those are. 90.  
Parent's offence in the extreme of over-providing for children by undoing of themselves. p. 91. Two degrees of it. ibid.  
Promise of Marriage the Root of an explicate Contract. 97. To be very cautiously made. ibid. The properties of them, ibid.  
What Promise for marriage doth bind. 99 viz. A mutual one. 2. A free one. 3. A plain and undeceiving one, and what that is. 101.  
Rash inconsiderate promises of marriage very foolish and sinful. 103.  
Providence a second peculiar duty of the husband necessary. 219.  
Opening of the point. ibid. Reason of it. Because its honour to marriage, and how. 220. 221.  
Providence of the husband in what it consists. 1 In skill in the trade of his way. 2. Wisdom, insight and experience in it. 3, Curiosity in Trades abhorred. 4. A stock necessary to occupy with. 5. Application of himself to his Object diligently. 221. 222. 223.  
Vusubjectednesse of mind to the rule of Providence, an ill sign of good husbandry. 235.  
Exhortation to husbands to be provident. ibid.  
Providence of the Wife in conjugal estate a third part of her helpfulness. 296. In what particulars it stands. 297. 298. 299. 300.  
Forward Professors to take heed of uncleanness. vid. Adultery.  
Because Professors cannot dispense with this sin. 353.   

Q.  
Question about publication of contract answered. 109.  
Question about marrying by a Minister, answered. 110.  
Question whether Cozen-Germans may marry, answered. 111.  
Question wherein marriage and a contract differ. 115.  
Why a space is allotted 'twixt contract and marriage. 118.  
What space is most convenient. 119.  
Quest. what if either party defile him or herself after contract. 120.  
Three Questions touching marrying in the Lord answered. 58.  
Q. Whether a Parents forbidding marriage with such a person upon his deathbed may be lawful and binding, and how far. 81. 82.   

R.  
REligion the best object in marriage. 43. Reasons. 4. ibid. Reasons why married persons must enter in the Lord are four. 24. 25. 26. 27. Rational respects, three in number of using a contract. 107. 1. The suitableness of so weighty a thing. 2. The preventing of inconstancy. 3. Good of the parties so contracted. 108.  
Religion jointly used a main preservative of the honour thereof. 128.  
In what it consists and the duty urged. 129.  
Six Reasons for it. 1. God is their mutual God. 2. The grace of either furthers both. 3. They enjoy all things both good and had in common. 4. Religion is the Cement of all fellowship.  
5. By instance of one joint necessity of trusting God. 6. Blessing annexed to it. 130. 131. 132.  
A Question what if one party Refuse to join with the other. 133.  
Hinderers of each other in such joint Religion to be taxed. 135.  
Such as remain in each others Religion taxed. ibid.  
Reproof of wasteful wives. 300.   

S.  
SCorners to be drawn by their wife's Religion, blamed. 40. 50.  
Single life more free from troubles then the married condition. 47.  
Sound judgement, Self denial and subduing of rebellious lusts meet for him who would prepare for marriage. 48. 50.  
Severalnesse in the married sinful, if affected, 133.  
Subjection of the wife to her husband, one principal part of her duty. 254. Reasons of the point. 1. From the law of Creation. 2. From the penalty of disobedience. 255. Proofs of the point. 256. Reasons. 3. Hereby she preserves the honour of her marriage. 258.  
Subjection what it is. 259.  
It is two fouled. 1. Of the spirit. ibid. Objections against it answered. 260.  
Qualification of the wife's Subjection in many respects. 1. In prompting the husband with religious counsel. 2. In Causes of difficulty. 262. 263. 264.  
Secondly, Subjection stands in his practice, wherein 3. particulars.  
1. In matters of God. A Question answered, How far a woman hath liberty to perform the Service of God in Family. 266. 267. 268. If they be denied this liberty by bad husbands they must be subject. 269. Secondly, Subjection in respect of their husband's estate. 270. Limitation of the woman's Subjection in worldly business. 270. A Question answered. May the woman give to Charitable uses? Ordinarily not. How she may, in sundry respects, whereof seven are mentioned. 272. the occasion of this argument. ibid.  
The third branch of Subjection in marriage conversation in many things. 1. Attire and fashion. 2. Gesture. 3. Domestical deportment. 4. Abroad. 5. In his tongue and company. 6. In Nursery. uses 2. First, Admonition to shun rebellion against the Husbands. Secondly, Exhortation to embrace subjection. from 275. to 282.  
Wives not subject to the unlawful commands of their husbands. 262.   

T.  
TErrors to all dishonourers of marriage. 9 Profaners of it. ib. & 12.  
Trials of marriage many. 25.  
Terror to affecters of unequal marriage. 66.  
Unlawful Trades to be shunned. 222.  
Curiosity of Trades to be abhorred. 223.  
Neglecters to learn the way of their trade reproved. 231.  
Rushing upon courses of manifold trading ill husbandry. 233.  
Tenderness and respect due to the wife. Vide Wife.   

V.  
POpish magnifying of Virginity confuted. 11.  
Vows of single life unwarranted. 49.  
Vulgar guise and garb of the married, rude and barbarous, wholly unpeaceable, and without consent. 190.  
To be a man of understanding, what it is. 206.  
Understanding in matters of God needful for an husband. Instances wherein. 208. 209. For the managing of the soul of his wife many ways. 210. Understanding in other externals requisite. 211.  
Husbands not walking as men of understanding, blamed. 212.  
Husbands who cannot guide themselves, terrified. 213.  
Exhortation to husbands to be men of understanding. 216.  
Diligent improvement of the husband's vocation stands in eight things. 1. Begin with God. 2. Destroy not thine own providence. 3. Pick not quarrels with thy calling. 4. Be subject to God in thy calling. 5. Aim not at hoarding up or multiplying Riches. 6. Serve God with thy increase. 7. Take losses as well as gains, patiently. 8. Be joyful, and enjoy all thy labours under the Sun. From 224. to 229.  
Livers upon Usury odious. 233.  
Neglect of ones calling under pretence of Religion, vicious. 231.  
We must not beweary of our Vocation by reason of some discontents that may fall out in it. 225.  
Undiscreet ways of improvidence, as overstocking, rack borrowing, underselling, and the like, signs of a bad husband. 233.  
Change of calling dangerous. 234.  
In what respect a man may change his calling. ibid.  
God will have all uncleanness laid open in her colours. See Adultery.   

W.  
Wants and weaknesses of religious couples pardoned. 17.  
Women wooers threaten woe. 57  
Wives do oftentimes justly stumble at the folly of their husbands. 214. Passages of such folly named. ibid. Four instances mentioned. 215.  
Careless deserters of their wives in the affairs of the family, odious. 230.  
Honour and respectiveness to the wife the third and last personal duty of the husband. 236. The opening of the point. ibid. The root of this is union of two in one flesh. 237. Reasons of it. 1. Nothing gained by austerity. 2. Wise ones willingly bear with fools. 3. God's command requires it. 4. We owe it to a Christian, even to lay our life down; how much more here. 239. 240.  
Wife's must not have any peculiar wealth apart from their husbands, but common. 289. If they desire any stroke that way, they must deserve it by their good carriage. 290.  
women's providence and housewifery stands in three things. 1. In bringing in somewhat. 2. In storing safely that which he prepares. 3. In dispencing family expenses and provisions. 291. 292. 293.  
What kind of helpers wasteful wives are. 301.  
Provident wives must not be conceited of their parts, nor proud and upbraiding: their right hand must not know what their left hand doth. 294.  
A proud woman can never be an obedient wise. 275. in fine.  
Wedding Ring, and the Jewels thereof. Vide Marriage  
A good wife not to be refused, though found in a bad Family, but rather to be chosen. 59 and preferred before one out of a good. ibid. And why.  
Tenderness and respect to the wife. The true model of it is Christ's tenderness to his Church. 240. In what particulars it consists. 1. In tendering her Soul above all things. 2. Tenderness to her person, to wit, in her estimation. 3. Integrity and openheartednesse. 4. Comfort in heaviness. 5. Sparing her from excessive toil. 6. Indulgence in lawful refresh. 7. Connivance at unavoidable infirmities. 8. Commending her virtues. 9 Supply of necessaries and comfortable supports. 10. Respectiveness must be the Counsellor. 241. 242. 243. 244. 245. 246. 247. 248. 249. 250. 251.  
Terror to all Nabals and blocks: their description. Counsel to the wronged party. 251. 252.  
Description of the husband's tenderness to the wife. 245.  
Two extremes of tenderness. viz. Roughness, Vxoriousnesse. 25.  
Respectiveness to the person of the Wife consists in Protection. In preserving her reputation. In relieving her bodily infirmities. 242.  
No work so honourable as to make the Wife a vessel of honour first, and then for marriage. 252.  
Duties from the Wife to the Husband three. 1. Subjection. 2. helpfulness. 283. Wherein it stands. Answer in 3. Branches. 1. In God's matters. 2. To the estate outward. 3. in respect of the married condition. 284. 285. 286. 287. 288. 289. 290. 291. 292. 293. 294. 295. 296. 297. 298. 299. 300. 301. 302. 303.   

Y.  
YOuth ought to redeem her golden season in respect of marriage, and how. 46.  
Young wasteful Heirs overthrow their marriages. 232. Admonition to Parents in that kind. ibid.   
FINIS.