Ignoramus: A COMEDY As it was several times Acted with extraordinary Applause, BEFORE THE MAJESTY OF KING JAMES With a Supplement which (out of respect to the Students of the Common Law) was hitherto wanting.  
Written in Latin by R. RUGGLES sometimes Master of Arts in Clare College in Cambridge.  
And Translated into English by R. C. sometimes Master of Arts in Magdalen College in Oxford.  
LONDON, Printed for W. Gilbertson and are to be sold at the Bible in Giltspur-street, without Newgate, 1662.   


The Actors Names.  Theodorus. 
An old man a Merchant of Bordeaux.  Antonius. 
His Son.  Ignoramus. 
An English Lawyer.  Dullman. 
His Clerks.  Musaeus. 
His Clerks.  Pocus. 
His Clerks.  Torcoll. 
Portuguesse and a Pander.  Rosabella. 
A supposed Kinswoman of Torcoll.  Surda. 
A Dwarf and Maid of Torcoll.  Trico. 
A servant of Theodorus.  Bannacar. 
A Moor his servant also.  Cupes. 
A Parasite and Bookseller.  Polla. 
His Wife.  Cola. 
A Friar.  Dorothea. 
A Matron Wife of Theodorus.  Vince. 
Dorothea's Boy.  Richard. 
Servant to Theodorus.  Pyropus. 
A Salesman.   
Fiddlers.   
A Seaman.   
A Victualler.   

Mute Persons.  
Antonius the Brother of Anthony.  
Catharine the Daughter of Dorothy.  
Manlius the Daughter of Rosabella.  
Ursula her Nurse.  
Vtrado a Merchant Moor,  
Fledwit, Ignoramus his servant.  
Alphonsus a Portugal Duke.  
Officers.  
Beedles.  
Whores.   
The Scene Bordeaux.   

The Translator's Advertisement to the Ingenious Readers.  
WHo are to understand that the intent of our Author in the Original, was no ways to traduce the Reverend Authority of the English Laws, nor any of the Honourable, or other subordinate professors of them, but only to reflect on those persons who being possessed with as much Impudence as Ignorance, do pretend to the highest knowledge of the Laws, when indeed they deserve not the appellation of Apprentices therein.  
If the Latin tongue were ever the Language of the Beast, it is in the Mouths of these persons. In the English Translation we have all along inserted the Latin Barbarismes, not only to render these Solecisms to be the more abandoned and ridiculous, but withal to satisfy the method of Ingenuity, which is to give Light as well as Delight unto her Readers.  
Vale.   

DULMAN In Laudem IGNORAMI.  
Non inter Plaios gallantos & bene gaios,  
Est alter Bookus deservat qui modo lookos,  
O Lector Friendleie, tuos: hunc buye libellum,  
Atque tibi Wittum, tibi Jestaque plurima sellam.  
Hic est Lawyerus, simul hic est undique Clerus,  
Et Dulman merus (quod non vis credere) verus:  
Hic multum Frenchum, quo possis vincere Wenchum.  
Hic est Latinum, quo possis sumere vinum.  
Hunc Bookum amamus, simul hunc & jurë probamus;  
Qui non buyamus cuncti sumus Ignoramus.  
DULMAN Clericus tuus à Desca sua.   

The first Prologue before the KING, March 8. Anno 1614  Enter Cursor, the Horse of the Muses named Davus Dromo, with the Keeper of him. Curs. 
DId any see hereabouts the Horse of the Muses? Just now as I passed by the Caballin Fountain, the Muses desired me to seek after him, this way am I sent, and that way the keeper of him.  Keep. 
Boy canst thou tell me any tidings of a Horse that's strayed this way.  Boy. 
I hear nothing of him.  Curs. 
It were your best way therefore to cry him.  Keep. 
You say well, O yes, O yes, The Horse of the Muses hath lately strayed away, by name Davus Dromo, who is half a Man, and all a Horse, a beast with two Heads, the one a great one, and very bald, with very long and large Ears, a red Nose, wide Mouth, and blabber Lips, a short discoloured Main, Gauled Back, and running Scratches on his fore-feets, of several Colours, with a round black spot in the buttock of him; if any man will either return him, or bring tidings of him, he shall have his thanks for his pains, and as many Mares as he will.  Curs. 
Nay, that is like enough, for the Muse's Horse is a lusty and a noted Stallion. The Horse Enters.  Keep. 
Look— here he is, with a Pox to him; Good Boy help us to catch him.  Curs. 
How he lays about him with his Heels.  Keep. 
Let us use him gently and drive him softly into yonder corner, Holla, Boy, Holla, softly to him. Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Messe, Ho Dave, Ho, Messe, Ho Dromo, Ho, Messe Dave, Dromo Ho.  Keep. 
Ah wicked beast, what wilt thou run away? thy name shall be no more Davus Dromo, but Dromedary.  Curs. 
I would he was turning the wheel in a Brewhouse.  Keep. 
What dost thou bite?  Curs. 
And wince, and kick with a bots to you?  Keep. 
He longs to be soundly basted, but I shall tame him by and by, or— Ha, Ha, He, as I led him just now to watering to the Muses well, he forcibly broke from me, and said he would speak the Prologue here; When he was a Man, the bold knave would be thrusting himself always into the company of the Nobility, and being now a beast he doth as impudently affect it.  Curs. 
Out upon him Monster.  Keep. 
He was a Man at first but having no more wit in him then a Horse, the angry Muses being every day vexed with him did transform him into a man Caballin.  Horse. 
You set me forth like an Ass, no matter— I'll speak the Prologue for all that.  Curs. 
What you speak the prologue? and a prologue in Latin too?  Horse. 
And why not I, who understand all Languages, the Greek, the Latin, the French, the Castiliana, the Italiana, the Dutch and the Polack.  Keep. 
He neigheth pretty handsomely, but speaketh nothing at all.  Horse. 
Pugh, I have received letters from the Ambassadors of Princes with whom I have lived in extraordinary familiarity, for though I am a Horse I would have you know I am a Horse politic.  Keep. 
And sometimes a Horse Ecclesiastical, the Dean of Dunstable.  Horse. 
Yes, and came gratis to that place without Simony; for I would have you know that I am learned; for once I was shut up all day long being extremely hungry in a library. And being but a Horse, with great applause I disputed with Doctor Horseman in several languages for my degree, and now I hope to be a graduate.  Curs. 
Yes, from a Horse you shall take the degree of an Ass.  Horse. 
Know you not that Caligula did design the Consulship to a Horse, and clothed him with purple?  Keep. 
That was a swift, gallant metaled Horse, thou art but a dull Jade.  Horse. 
I a dull Jade? who have Galloped through so many Countries, and the most of them without any baiting at all; why for swiftness, I dare challenge all the best Race horses of the Noble men here present, either Franklin, or Puppy, or pepper corn, or Cropears, or Snowball, or Saucy Jack, or Bald Tryngham, Mouse, Freck, Spaniard, Peg with a Lantern, Strawberries and Cream, or if there be any other, and at any Race, whither Royston-race, Brackly-race, Gutterly, Coddington, Sibblecoats or any place whatsoever, and if I bear not the Bell away, do not only call me curt-tayle but make me too so. And if you have a mind to any fine feats tricks, or predictions or divinations, I will not refuse any Horse fatidicall, or magical, for I am a Cabal Cabalistical.  Curs. 
Say you so, then tell me who loves a handsome Wench the best of all this Company?  Horse. 
That I can do, and wink.  Curs. 
Tell me who then?  Horse. 
The greatest part here present, but they especially that would seem to be the demurest and smile not at all.  Keep. 
What you, yourself have been smitten in love heretofore.  Horse. 
Nay others have been deeply in love with me, many fair Women have desired the familiarity of my Company.  Keep. 
He speaks the truth, for his mistress heretofore in pure love, did carry his saddle up and down on her own head, but tell me, will there be any good sport and laughing in this Comedy.  Horse. 
There will be laughing sure, if there be any laughing.  Keep. 
But will it please?  Horse. 
And if it will please them, it will please.  Keep. 
But what will they say of the play itself?  Hors. 
Why, they will say there are every day better plays to be seen for money at London, and that the Comedies are here spoiled by the two strict observance of the laws of Comedy.  K. 
What will be their censure of the Actors?  Horse. 
That Academians are pitiful Actors.  Keep. 
But who amongst all the Actors will be most commended?  Horse. 
Who but Davus Dromo the most noble, and most famous Horse in all the Universe.  Keep. 
How can that be?  Horse. 
A good Horse hath always favourers enough to commend him.  Keep. 
This Cabal now thinks himself as witty, as if he were another sextus Caballus.  Curs. 
He that fools himself with a petulant mirth, is not sextius, but caballus.  Keep 
But will no man buy this ridiculous Horse?  Curs. 
Let me pass my judgement on him (he looks in his Mouth like a Horse courser) but he is old, he is strong-dockt howsoever and hath a good tail.  Horse. 
My tail is large, and spreading enough, I drive away the flies from the Muses with it.  Keep. 
Thou art but a fly thyself, and uninvited fliest to other men's tables.  Curs. 
He is heavy and worth nothing lead him away.  
I will speak the prologue first.  Keep. 
No No, it is needless, those who come first upon the stage will open the Argument themselves.  Horse. 
Pugh, but they will be too serious in it.  Keep. 
After the first scene, which almost contains the sum of the plot, there will be almost nothing that is serious at all.  Horse. 
The scene is said to be laid in Bordeaux where I myself have been heretofore, and that you are to act Surda the deaf Dwarf, the Maid of Torcol.  Curs. 
I am so much the happier, for than I shall not hear them, if peradventure they shall hiss at me.  Horse. 
And that the name of the play is Ignoramus.  Curs. 
Ignoramus, we are like then to have a gallant Comedy when he is to pronounce his sentence on it, on whose Action alone the whole Fortune of the play depends?  Horse. 
Let me then be the prologue, for Ignoramus the lawyer and I are near of Kin.  Keep. 
And well you may be, you speak Latin both alike.  Curs. 
But this Horse more barbarously of the two, for the time to come therefore you shall not be the Muse's horse, but the horse of barbarous Ignoramus.  Horse. 
Yours howsoever, but I will speak the prologue come! what will of it.  Keep. 
Oh impudence! you speak the prologue, you a prologue I shall—  Horse. 
I know my own abilities and conceits, I will speak the prologue.  Curs. 
Give him leave then, and if he doth not speak it well, beat him off the stage.  Keep. 
Begin.  Horse. 
Since that, since that—  Keep. 
Since that? most comically spoken, what do you saulter thus in the very first words, since that.  Horse. 
Since that Comedy is the glass of humane life, and in the comedies of the Ancients there is much wit, which in me (candid Judges) I acknowledge to be very little; as— for example— watch I call— Pindarus.  Keep. 
Pindarus▪ do you thus Pindarize? Mouth of a horse be dumb, what is it you are now thinking on.  Horse. 
Thinking oftentimes upon the prologue.  Keep. 
Not a word more, I shall make it prove an Epilogue.  Curs. 
Take him hence he is obstinately stubborn, and unruly;  K. 
But I shall overcome his stubborness.  Horse. 
O times, and manners! whither (my Judges) shall I turn me in this cross and failing Age of prologues.  Keep. 
Are you still muttering, will you never find the way out, Allons.  Horse. 
I have washed my mouth in the Cabal in Fountain, and well can sing a pegaseian melody, the master of Art and giver of Wit I Davus Dromo.  Curs. 
Davus disturbeth all things.  Keep. 
But I shall master him to obedience and silence, boy hold him fast, whiles I (they put manacles on his Nose) Hem— he is now close enough; now you will be quiet, speak your prologue now?  Horse. 
I will be the prologue for all this.  K. 
A pure prologue-speaker and of a clean free Nostril.  Horse. 
Well well, if I do not baste your errand to the Muses—  K. 
They threatened to day to run you through with their Forks; I will now lead you whither you are worthy to go, to Ignoramus who always henceforth shall ride on you.  Exeunt Horse, Keeper and Boy. Curs. 
Da veniam subitis, non displicuisse meretur,  
Festinat (Caesar) qui plecuisse tibi.  
Pardon (Dread Liege) such sudden things as these,  
He merits not t'offend who strives to please.   

The Second Prologue spoke before the KING. May 6. 1615.  Enter, A Post-boy, Dullman, Ignoramus, Messe Davy, Schioppius, and a Witness. Post. 
THe Horn sounds  
Trin-tran Bearback, make way, I am a post dispatch, from London hither to inform you that Ignoramus neither is, nor can be acted. Stare no more on me, it is as I tell you; would you know the reason, not one amongst the Lawyers will accommodate Ignoramus with a Gown to act his part in, so unkind is Ignoramus to Ignoramus, for by a late order amongst themselves it is provided that the Lawyers only shall not be brought upon the stage. This dispatch therefore doth advise you to rise and depart, spectators, here is but a short come-off of this play, Farewell, and clap your hands.  Dull. 
What is the business? what? is our play already come to a nonsuit. Oh Vide● postam I see the post; post, post, have you brought a Gown with you?  Post. 
O Dullman! no, no Dullman, a Lawyer's Gown cannot be had either for money, or entreaty.  Dull. 
Why so?  Post. 
Because, besides the prohibition, innumerable Gowns are now paying their worship to their great God the Term who gives place to no man.  Dull. 
Hum, Hum, Hum, you have some letters for me, have you not?  Post. 
These for you and these for Ignoramus.  Dull. 
Hum, hum, hum, here is some News I know. Do you deliver this letter to my master whiles I peruse my own.  Post. 
I will. Exit post.  Dullman readeth the superscription of his letter, in these words, Dullman Junior puny-Clerk to Ignoramus Junior who is brother to Ignoramus Senior to his Dullmannissimous Uncle Dullman senior who is senior Clerk to Ignoramus senior, S. P. D. 
— S. P. D. what doth he mean by this S. P. D. Oh, now I understand it, 'tis speed, I, right, right, it came by the post, 'tis speed. Opening the letter he reads.  
If thou ingrossest instruments, it is well, I also do engross instruments; be it known (uncle dullman) unto all men that are or shall be, that there is a common report amongst us, that Ignoramus is a very gross play, and my master saith, that he hath turned over all his books (for he hath a few) and he hath found ipso facto, that the play is both riotous, and riotous; wherefore those predictables who would have gelded Ignoramus, and did bind him with cords and ropes, Inprimis, Trico, Cupes, and Cola shall be brought into the star-chamber for a terrible Riot. My master saith also that he hath three Benefices that heretofore he hath given gratis to these predicables (which nevertheless I do not believe) but he saith that they who shall have them hereafter shall pay soundly for them, pro toto & in solido. He allegeth moreover that there is one Jeofail in the play to make a common Lawyer, a common Fool, who useth to make of other men common Fools. And another Jeofail that they made him speak Latin in Bordeaux which he cannot do either here, or there; but if they Act again that prohibited play we will make most gallant Ballads of them, and better than those that have been already made, although they are superfine and stand with us in the case against Cambridge, nevertheless many say that they are but foolish Libels and therefore most worthily condemned for heretical in the late convocation house at Oxford. Well, well I know what I know; I must conjure you (my Uncle Dullman) by that d●llmanity that is in you, not to acquaint any of the predicables with this which I write.  
Not any of them,— and I have now read it before you all; Ah foolish Nephew! could he not have writ me word of it in the beginning of the letter, but I must entreat you, et omne sit unum that it may be all one, speak nothing of it, I will read no more of this unto you.  Enter Post. Post. 
I have delivered the letters to Ignoramus; but what means that great preparation.  Dull. 
Oh! it is for the examination of two notable knaves before my master Ignoramus.  Post. 
Who are they?  Dull. 
One Gasper Schioppius, and one Davus Dromo.  Post. 
Can Ignoramus pass sentence on them.  Dull. 
He doth not, and yet withstanding he doth, although he is neither Judge nor Justice of peace, but only deputed to take the Examination. Enter Ignoramus, Messe and Officers.  
Oh now they come, master Ignoramus do you come abroad without a Toga vocata a Gown.  Igno. 
But I will come in chlamyde vocata a Cloak rather than the Law shall not be currant. Boy, go and command them to bring that vile Schioppius before us whiles I do examine this fellow.  Post. 
It shall be done. Exit post.  Igno. 
Sirrah, Sirrah, what is your true Name, Sirrah, hah?  Mes: 
Davus Dromo.  Igno. 
Alias Mess Davy Sirrah, for when you were Arrested before, you said you were not davus dromo, but Mess davy, and so you made an escape, Ha? A double Name a double Knave, dullman read his accusation.  Dull. 
In the first place it is presented, that thou davus dromo being armed in a warlike manner didst assault the spectators of Ignoramus with a terrible Engine, Anglice called a Hobby Horse, cum kikkis & friskis, with Kicks and Frisks, and with a most horrible noise snip, snap, snip, snap, to the great terror of the liege people of the King and the death of their Children.  Igno. 
Ha! what say you to this Sirrah?  Mes. 
It was one, I believe very like me, for I was not present at that time when Ignoramus was acted, it is well known that I was drunk that night.  Igno. 
O ho, you are a drunken knave and a liar to boot, It was you.  Mes. 
It was myself, and it was not myself.  Igno. 
But sirrah sirrah, at the same time did not you challenge the horse of the King, tu challengebas equum regis? which is petty treason sirrah  Mes. 
I only challenged the Horses of the Noblemen.  Igno▪ 
O note it Dullman, A scandal to the horses of the Noblemen, scandalum magnatum aequorum.  Dull. 
Yes, yes, Scandalum magnorum aequorum.  Igno. 
Sirrah, you are a horse called saucy Jack, for heretofore you took the wall of the Prince.  Mes. 
I do remember it very well, it was opportunely done when I instructed the Ambassadors to receive him.  Dull. 
Master I think you may have it Breve for the examining of an Idiot, for heretofore he would be Dean of Dunstable. If you will, I know the Law.  Igno. 
What you, Saucebox, you know the law, and not I; you shall teach me what I am to say, you are both of you Idiots, but I will proceed in the Examination, Sirrah, nevertheless you are a great Fool and a proud Fool; what, you dare to tilt with the King's Fool?  Mes. 
Equals to Equals.  Dull. 
Mess Davy, you know that it is petty treason Messe Davy.  Mes. 
What is petty Treason Dullman?  Igno. 
But Sirrah, is that true that you wrote in Latin to the Pope to make you Cardinal?  Mes. 
Yes, & I had been a Cardi. if I had wrote true Latin to him.  Igno. 
Note it down Dullman quod coinavit and transportavit trans marè falsum Intinum, he coined and transported false latin beyond the Sea expressly against a statute in that case provided and published.  Dull. 
His false latin shall therefore, master, be confiscated to our use.  Igno. 
Let me alone I will take an order for that, sirrah, How much have you of it.  Mes. 
A great deal, but not enough to serve both your turns.  Igno. 
Well, I perceive you are a notorious Malefactor, I will return your name to the Magistrate, and I will write unto him to pass his sentence on you in form and manner following, First if ever you come to the court again that you be jactus sursum, Anglice tossed in a Blanket; if you ever be in love, you shall have a thing called Anglice a Codpiece sowed behind you, and so dance as you did sometimes at Geneva, you shall be moreover a Vagabond, and have never any Master, or Land, or Bread, or Drink of your own, but as a fly you shall always live at the Tables of other men, and be repulsed with scourges, etc. Now let the Knave withdraw.  Mes. 
Woe is me! oh that the Excellency of wit so advantageous unto others should be so destructive unto me. Exit Messe.  Enter Schioppius and the Witness. Igno. 
Who have we here? What! Schioppius ille nebulo in printo. That Knave in print Schioppius.  Wit. 
The very same, the Fur, Bifur, Furcifer, Trifurcifer, Schioppius is here before you. Look to your purses Gentlemen, here is Schioppius the grand legate of Thiefs. Antolicus himself had not so foul a hand.  Igno. 
See if he be not burned in the hand?  Wit. 
Oh oftentimes! he is stigmatised all over; see how black and tenacious are his hands, and with what hooked Nails they are Armed?  Dull. 
Master, Master, his Nose is slit too, and he hath Cropears, by his marks he should be Gasper Schioppius of Munster.  Igno. 
Gasper of Monster.  Wit. 
Munster Franco was familiar with his Mother and was the known Father, he is a known Bastard.  Igno. 
O ho! what is he a Bastard? A good Bastard comes by chance, but a bad one by Nature. Witness proceed.  Wit.. 
He stole also a Gold-Chain from his Father.  Schi. 
I was then but fourteen years of age, it was a sign of my Wit..  Igno. 
Oh, oh! A Felon from his Cradle.  Wit.. 
When he was but a stripling, his Father read his Fortune, and told all his Friends what a most egregious Knave he would make.  Igno. 
He spoke the truth of him.  Wit.. 
He played the Merchant too with Giffanius that entertained him, and stole from him his books and papers.  Schi. 
I confess it; it's no Theft for a Lettered man to steal Letters.  Dull. 
Is it not? Oh Impudence! stand further off? I believe he hath stole some of my papers, I have many wanting.  Schi. 
I steal your papers?— I have papers enough of my own, witness those many famous pamphlets I have divulged.  Igno. 
ay, I, thou art known to be a famous scribbler of Libels.  Wit. 
And being but very young he wrote the most filthy Priapeia.  Igno. 
What is that?  Wit. 
That which honestly cannot be named, much less excused.  Schi. 
For that, I will speak with confidence that all Women are beholding unto me.  Igno. 
For what?  Schi. 
Why, I have restored their muliebria to them by turning L into N.  Dull. 
Mark that Master, L into N, Hic est pecia secretae knaveriae, A piece of secret Knavery I warrant you.  Wit. 
Take notice also of his most imodest and impure observations, for in one of his writings he preferred the life of a sparrow above the life of a man; and this he did most pathetically also because they are more salacious.  Igno. 
I am informed that you are an Apostate also, and a Renegade.  Wit. 
Then he was not only Gaspar, but Caster Schioppius, At Rome indeed being like to perish for Hunger he wrote a book of his conversion, poor Schioppius coming out of Germany, and being ready to starve did address himself to Rome.  Schi. 
What of that when I was Hungry, the Kitchen of Cardinal Medruccius was always open to me.  Igno. 
It is a Proverbial verse. 
Si canis in Hilla religatur, mordet in illa.  
Tie a Dog upon the Hill a  
Still he there be biting will a.   Dull. 
Ha, ha, he, Master.  Shiop. 
But I upon my Conversion, came presently forth an excellent Divine out of the Vatican Library.  Wit. 
You could do no less, having not long before most atheistically preferred Plautus above the Bible, and worshipped Bacchus, Venus and Ceres above all Deities: from hence it is that he maketh War both with God and Man, the Parasite of Romulus, the Father of Hunger, whose soul is only but a conceit, and who entertaineth no conceit of his soul at all; hence, on hills of lies and perjuries this Earthworm would climb unto Heaven, the Idol of impudence, the Hangman's sacrifice, and Groan of every Gallows; hence it is that this Cerberus with black teeth and a filthy tongue provokes the Sacred Majesty of Kings, hence, it is that so odious is the fame of this son of a Prostitute, hence that this most impudent scribbler dares exercise his pen against Ambassadors being himself one of the greatest Thiefs, and Burdelloes in the world.  Schiop. 
But I haxe a fly abroad, a legate who peradventure may effect that I may be Legatus a latere myself.  Igno. 
In the mean time thou shalt not only be ablegated, but ligated as a Thief— Est not abilissimus latro quem unquam vidi in vita mea; the most notable Thief that I ever saw in my life, well, well, I will inform the Judge of you that he may punish you accordingly.  Schi. 
But I am a Baron and must have a noble Trial.  Wit. 
Let him be tried therefore by his Peers, the Barons of the Field of Flora, oh most egregious Baron!  Igno. 
I know already what sentence the Law will pass upon you, First because you are a great Liar, your infamous tongue must be bored through with one Red hot Iron, and because you have a bold brazen face, you must be branded in the fore head with another.  Wit. 
And why in the forehead, it is needless, he is so lost a thing, he hath no front, or heart at all.—  Igno. 
And sirrah because you have a most impure mouth you shall be carried to the Common shore, as once before you were at Heydelberg where all your mouth shall be besmeared with merd, and so your polluted soul shall make its exit behind, by a Husteron Proteron as a Heathen Greek hath it.  Dull. 
What's that, what's that Master?  Igno. 
It is Greek you fool you.  Dull. 
Oh! oh, excuse me, I understand it not, Musaeus must write it down.  Igno. 
You are an Ass— after that sirrah your Carcase shall be thrown into the Jakes of an Abbot.  Schi. 
〈◊〉 take heed what you do, I cannot be condemned by any law for oftentimes I am Frantic.  Igno. 
Take the Knave away.  Wit. 
Look to your purses? Exeunt.  Enter Post-boy. Post. 
Signior we are now provided with a Gown for you.  Igno. 
Where did you find one?  Post. 
Amongst the stolen goods of Schioppius.  Igno. 
I will go put it on, and then return again.  Post. 
But signior make no delay!  Igno. 
Erit retorna brevis, it shall be a short return, do not fear it.  Dull. 
Dullman will return also, there shall be no essoign.  Exeunt. Ignor. & Dullman. Post. 
Ignoramus suddenly will return, but that he doth so, is not to be ascribed to him, but, Caesar, (unto your Clemency) who are the patron of Caesar's, and to your love to this University▪ Great is the honour of it and so much the greater, as you yourself are a complete University of all Learning; For which, bold malice her loud throat doth strain, and her black Nails begins to bite again, Vouchsafe then Caesar she may so relent, so swell with grief that all in the event, whom Envy rives may be asunder rent.  
The End of the Second Prologue.   

IGNORAMUS.  
The First ACT,  

The First SCENE.  
The ARGUMENT.  
MR. Munly an Alderman of London espoused one Dorothy a Gentlewoman of Bordeaux to whose trust be dying left two Daughters, Katherine, and Isabella which he had by a former Wife; Mr. Manly being dead Theodorus takes to Wife his Relict, by whom at one birth he had two Children Anthonio and Anthonine, so like unto one another that they could not be distinguished but only by a little Mole on the right Cheek of Anthonine; an a Agreement was made betwixt Theodore, and Dorothy to marry the two Daughters, to their two Sons, Katherine to Anthonine, and Isabella to Anthonio. Isabella being brought up by a Nurse at Dertford was afterwards stolen away by a certain Moor named Urtado; Theodorus leaving his Wife together with Anthonine and Catharine at London doth sail with his Son Anthonio unto Bordeaux.  
Theodorus stooping now under the burden of Age relates this story to his Son Anthonio whom he is sending to London to bring from thence his Mother and the rest of the Family with him; he (being detained by the Love of Rosabell) doth pretend causes of delay. His Father is importunate with him to be gone, from whom, after much solicitation, he hardly obtains the short liberty of one or two hours stay.  Enter Theodorus and Anthonio. Theo. 
And wilt thou be obedient than my son?  Ant. 
Sir, you are my Father, what you please command!  The. 
Well said my Son, than first know what it is, and of what moment it is that I would have you do; I do believe you heretofore have heard though but obscurely how that a London Merchant did buy of me here at Bordeaux great store of good Wine for a round sum of Money, but paid nothing at the present, he entered into bonds & sealed them, but never did discharge them; trust not at all my Son, it is a high point of wisdom, I hope you understand me.  Ant. 
Sir, I do, will you be pleased to proceed.  The. 
This London Merchant forbearing his bonds the payment, I repaired to London to demand my Money, where being fed & flattered with delays I grew familiarly acquainted with a widow of my own Country, whose name is Dorothy; she than did live in London, and was there Married to a rich Knight and Alderman of that City, whose name was maly, no, it was Manley. He not long after his Marriage did take her with him to his own habitation in London, and falling into an irrecoverable sickness he made her sole Executress, & departed this world. He had no children by her, but two by a former Wife, and both of them of an extraordinary beauty, the eldest Daughters name was Katherine, and the youngest Isabell. These two, with a considerable Dowry for them, he on his Death bed left to the care and charge of Dorothy (although their stepmother) who was to provide them Husbands when they arrived to the years of Marriage; they did exceed in Wealth but excelled more in Virtue and in Beauty, what shall I say, I loved the Widow well, I loved her entirely, a long time I courted her, a long time she denied me, at the last I obtained her good will & married her: the year being almost expired she was delivered at one Birth, of two children: you Anthonio are one of them, & Anthonine the other, and both so like, that one could not be known from the other, neither I, nor your Mother could distinguish betwixt you, were it not for a little Mole which Anthonine had in his right Cheek. Six years afterwards returning hither into my own Country I took you along with me, and left Anthonine with his Mother at London. Since that time full fifteen years are expired; for as we traveled hither through France, the War being very hot betwixt the French and English, we were taken by the Enemy, and but six months are passed since a peace being on both sides concluded we were permitted to have our liberty; no sooner was I a free Man, but every day I resolved with myself to go to London to see my Dorothy, but being detained by wrangling suits of Law, I remain here still whether I will or not, and am still here likely to remain, O the Lernaean Race of bold Pragmatic men who immortaly do sow divisions amongst mortality, and perpetually make one suit to beget another. Wherefore fly suits at Law, a lean Arbitration is better than a fat Judgement. Remember what I speak unto you.  
Sir, I do.  Theo. 
I therefore do much desire, whiles I may, to see your Mother, and your brother, and his new Wife your Sister.  Ant. 
They say he hath Married Katherine.  Theo. 
'Tis right, for I and my wife had long ago determined to give the two Daughters of Mr. Manley by his former wife unto you, and to your brother, and when you were but little ones you were contracted to one another, Katherine to Anthonine, and Isabella to you; but Isabella poor Girl that was to be Married to you is lost, she was brought up at Detford near unto the River of Thames where being but four years of age, whither she was drowned, or whether she and her Nurse were both carried away by force it is uncertain, but she hath been now missing these nineteen years.  Ant. 
Father did you ever see the other sister Katherine?  Theo. 
Never, Her Grandmother brought her up in Devonshire which is distant many Miles from London; but Son, do you know what it is I would have you do.  Ant. 
No Sir, but if it be that which I suspect I am utterly undone.  Theo. 
It is this, I would have you immediately set sail for London to bring hither to Bordeaux your Mother, Brother, and the rest of the Family along with you.  Ant. 
I am undone, for in the mean time I shall lose my Love.  Theo. 
Behold this letter, your Mother hath sent me word that she will come over herself with all the speed she could, and that immediately she would dispatch your brother Anthonine to me; imagine with yourself what a happiness it will be to you to enjoy the Kiss of your Mother and the Embraces of your Brother. What ails you? why are your Eyes so sad, and your Brows so full of wrinkles? are you not well?  Ant. 
To speak the truth Sir— this 'tis to love.—  Theo. 
What! are you in love?  Ant. 
With the Land Sir, the rough Sea and I shall never agree, I shall hardly fall in love with it.  Theo. 
Do you make a sport of my commands, and pretend excuses, I plainly do observe it; you must and shall be gone immediately.  Ant. 
Immediately Sir.  Theo. 
I Sir immediately, will you not obey me?  Ant. 
It is my duty, but I pray sir give me some little space to consider of it.  Theo. 
This is fine? is it not? when the Father commandeth, the Son must ask time and space to consider of it, I am ashamed of you.  Ant. 
Sir I will readily perform your commands— But—  Theo. 
But what?  Ant. 
I most humbly crave of you that you will vouchsafe me the space of six or seven days to prepare myself, and to give a farewell to my Friends.  Theo. 
Let not that trouble you, I will do that business for you, and as for your journey all things are already in a readiness, I have hired a Ship, I have paid for it there is nothing wanting.  Ant. 
Sir, England lying Northwards I shall be wind bound; for the wind being now in the South blows directly upon the North point.  Theod. 
It is so much the more advantageous to you, and should invite you to make so much the more haste, for you have a wind according unto wish to conduct you speedily into England. Have you any thing else to offer to me?  Antho. 
Do you not hear Sir, how the wind is angry with the sea? do you not see how, the clouded sky doth threaten Tempests?  Theod. 
Are you in your right sense, or do you dream being broad awake? the gentle southwind blows in a calm and an unclouded air: I know not what you mean, you do not well to dally with me; you must aboard, and that immediately, I begin to be very angry with you.  Antho. 
What immediately! ah my dear Rozabella!  Theod. 
What are you weeping? God forbid! what ails the young man?  Antho. 
Why— Is it such a wonder Sir, if the anger of an indulgent Father hath drawn fears from a dutiful and an obedient Son.  Theo. 
If it be so, 'tis well; why do you make any further delays?  Antho. 
Sir, I only beseech thus much of you, as to grant me but so little time as to restore to my friends those things of theirs which for the present are in my Custody.  Theod. 
So little time, how little do you mean?  Antho. 
Four hours, or more.  
'Tis two more than can be granted, the ship is already under sail, and the seamen do expect you.  Antho. 
Then give me two hours.  Theod. 
I will grant you two, In the mean time I will go in, and finish, and seal my letters to be sent to Dorothy, and tell out your money, but you must be a good husband of it; for the many suits at law have been very chargeable to me. We must be always giving to these suck-purses the lawyers, always, always; Gold can do more then Right.  Exit Theod.  

The second SCENE of the first ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
ANtonio complains of his misfortune, and realates his love, and his courting of Rosabella the daughter of a Noble man of Portugal, who dying at Fess, did commit her to the trust of his brother Roderigo Torcol, who exercising the trade of a Pander at Bordeaux, would not sell her under six hundred Crowns, which Ignoramus the Lawyer residing then at Bordeaux, for the composing of Differences and suits at law, did bargain to give unto him; Nevertheless Antonio doth rejoice that he and his love have already plighted their troths to one another.  Antonio alone. 
What but two hours! must I live but two hours longer? woe is me; If I go without thee Rozabella, I go without my life; my Father nevertheless commands me to be gone; Him I must obey; but love doth enforce me to stay whether I will or not; what shall I do? whether I go or stay I am undone; I must obey my Father, This only doth remain to give him the last Farewell before I go hence and die; for that my hopes are quite lost, the bare Disposition of the most impure Portugal, Uncle to my Love and who now liveth with him, doth prompt me to believe. He pretends himself to be a Merchant but is indeed no more than a Bawd; his name is Torcol so called from his wry & distorted neck & manners: did you but see him you would say you never saw an uglier Bulk of sin; but be he never so deformed, he as yet gives an honest & a civil entertainment to my Love, and will dispose of her in marriage, as becometh his Brother's Daughter; for a noble Portugal the Father of Rozabella dying at Fess (to which place the rougher hand of war and conquest brought him) left his Daughter as a Ward to his tuition being his brother, and then at Fess: she being now the most beautiful of her sex is courted by many who would be proudly glad to marry her, though without a portion: But the greedy and covetous Pander will have money for her; I therefore who would mortgage my life to have her have contracted with him to make her my wife for six hundred Crowns. The bargain was struck but on this condition to pay him the money within the space of a month. I have ever since made it my business to procure it but could not effect it; He therefore takes me to be unable, and himself deluded, and is making a new Market with an English Lawyer, who being sent for from thence with many others of his Nation and Profession to compose some differences between some of their own Nation here at Bordeaux, hath that leisure forsooth to fall in Love, and indeed is inflamed to a madness with the beauties of my Mistress; Instead of Latin he speaks nothing but Barbarismes, A mere Kick-shaw, and an Ass laden with Gold; and to be a short a Lawyer. But this doth much rejoice me that our Hands and Hearts are linked, unknown to him, unknown to my own Father from whom I carefully do conceal it. But whiles I am speaking my hour is slipped from me, a poor horarious man. I will make haste unto her, but who is this? Ignoramus the Lawyer; This is He who would take my Love from me, but I may chance meet with him.  Theod. 
within— Son Antonio, Antonio.  Anton. 
Woe is me my Father calls.  Theod. 
Antoni, Antonio.  Anton. 
Sir.  Theod. 
Come hither to me presently. Exit Anton.   

The third SCENE of the first ACT  
The Argument: Ignoramus having called his two Clerks, Dullman and Pecus, doth relate unto them his love to Rosabella and laughs at his third Clerk Musaeus, as a predicable and an University man.  Ignoramus, Dullman, Musaeus, Pecus. IGnor. 
Fie, Fie; Tanta pressa, tantum Croudum, ut fui penè trusus ad mortem; Here is so great a press, so great a Crowd, that I am even thrust to death. I will have an Action of Intrusio against all and every one of them: Aha Mounsiers, will you thrust par joinct Tenant. It is a plain Case, Il est point droite de le bien scance, I sweat extremely; O Hot, hot! precor Deum ne meltavi meum pingue, pray God I have not melted my fat. Fie, phy: In the Name of God where are my Clerks? Dullman! Dullman!  Dullm. 
Here Master, Here.  Ignora. 
Vous avez Dullman, Meltor Dullman meltor rubba me cum Towallio, rubba, O Dullman, I am melted, Dullman, I am melted, Rub me over with a Towel, rub me Dullman, where is Pecus.  Pecus. 
Here Sir.  Ignor. 
Fac ventum, make a wind, Pecus, so, so, where is Fledwit?  Dullman. 
He is not inventus.  Ignor. 
Put your Cloaks upon me now for fear I take cold. So, so— Ainsi bene faict, Amongst all my troubles and punishments it doth much rejoice and comfort me at this present that I have made a good agreement at the law amongst our English here at Bordeaux; a good agreement, Aggreamentum quasi aggregatio mentium. Well— too morrow hoyfabimus vela we will hoist sails, and return to London; It is high time we came hither Octabis Hilarii, and it is now almost Quindena Pasche.  Dullm. 
I Swear unto you Master, this day you have tickled the point of the law to some tune: titillasti punctum legis Master.  Igno. 
He He, I think I have tickled it; Si le nom del granteur, ou grante soit raze, ovinterline, on faict pol, le faict est grandement suspicious.  Dull. 
And then again, non obstant si faict pol; And that, also in Coin.  Pecus. 
But that above all, D'vn faict pendu en le smoke, nunquam audivi titillatum melius, I never heard a Case better tickled.  Ignor. 
And what do you say Musaeus?  Musaeus. 
I understood but little Sir.  Ignor. 
You are a Galltierista, vocatus a Coxcomb, Musaeus; I shall never make you a Lawyer.  Dull. 
Never, never; He was a praedicabile; he, an Universitant.  Ignor. 
They are pitiful Clerks, and great Idoets these Universitants. I do wonder quomodo spendisti tempus, how you did spend your time amongst them?  Musaeus. 
For the most part I studied Logic.  Ignor. 
Logic!— What Village, what Town is this Logic?  Musae. 
It is one of the liberal Arts.  Ignor. 
Liberal! So I thought; in the Name of God, study Arts thriving and gainful: Non est mundus, This is not a world for liberal Arts.  Mus. 
I was addicted also to the love of Philosophy.  Ignor. 
Addicted to love! what? Are you pro Strumpotis & Baggagiis? Strumpets and Baggages; if you take bad courses, you are not for me. I will return you back again unto your parents.  Musae. 
God keep you in that mind.  Ignor. 
Quotu est Clocka nunc? what a Clock is it now?  Dull. 
Between eight and nine.  Ignor. 
Go therefore to my lodging with your Bags and your Rolls: what is that? let me see that Instrument; mane petit, mane— stay a little, stay I say whiles I put my spectacles on my nose: Oh ho, ho: now I know it; This Indenture made betwixt Roger Rattledock of Caxton in the County of Brecknock, O ho: Richard Fen, and John Den: O ho; proud Buzzard plaintiff against Peagoose defendant. O ho, look you here? Here is one letter faulty, mend it, mend it; for in law but one Comma misplaced, overthrows a whole plea. Now go your ways. Do you take this? Do you engross that, and do you Pecus truss up the Portmantles and put all things in a readiness for our journey. Exeunt Dullman, Musaeus, Pecus. Ignoramus alone. Hoy ho, Rosabella, hay, ho; I am not going now to the Courts at Westminster but to the joyful Court of Venus held at Torcolls; Cupid her Sheriff would never let me alone till he found me in her Bailiwick: At the first time when I loved Rosabella but a little, he sent me a little Capias, and then a great Capias, and afterwards other Capiasses, and more Capias and innumerable Capias, till at the last capavit me ut legatum, being bereft of all Sense and Reason; so that I am now but just as a Fly without a head; Buzzo & torno, I buzz up and down, and I turn here and I turn there, but I know not what I do myself. When I am drawing up an Instrument, if a woman be named, I write Rosabella; For Corpus cum causa, I write Corpus cum cauda; for Noverint universi, Am a verint universi; for Habere ad rectum, Habere ad lectum; and so I spoil the whole Instrument: hay, ho, ho, hay ho.   

The first ACT,  
the fourth SCENE.  
The Argument. Torcol the Bawd brings in his Wenches to salute Ignoramus, having first related the story of his shipwreck, and the reasons that put him upon such a dishonest course of life: He bargains with Ignoramus, that if he either brings, or sends six hundred Crowns with the Instrument and private token he shall have Rosabella, which Ignoramus doth promise to perform.  Torcol, Ignoramus, Wenches. TOrcol. 
Pseca●, See that Corinna doth use this Wash, and Sabina that Vermilion; let Celia wear this Dress to day, and Corcas that: when you are ready (Girls) come hither,; for I will have you sing and play and dance before me, such Arts make shipwrecks of your Lovers. I have been wracked myself, but not by such Sirens: Returning once from Fess to Portugal, a shipwreck made me poor, and did enforce me to such vile Arts as these; therefore with that small stock was left I hired Wenches from several Countries, and as different in language as in habits, They are all adorned in their own Country's fashion. The smell of gain is sweet from any thing; But the spotless Virgin my x Rosabella, I hope this day to marry happily to Ignoramus, and I am to receive for her six hundred Crowns in Gold— But who is this, O Signior Ignoramus, the most honoured Man of all men; Are you here Sir, Bazo las manus Signior, I am the servant of your servants.  Ignor. 
Sure this is the Pope.  Torc. 
What service will you command me my Lord and Master?  Ignor. 
Ha, he, he; I will give you a Supersedeas for these Compliments, I believe you have put your neck into so wry a form, with your congying and your cringing.  He lays his leg over him. Torc. 
Sir, It was a misfortune I got here at Bordeaux by making once a trial of a parcel of wives if they were good or not.  Ignor. 
Will you not have a Breve de recto for it?  Torc. 
Whether I am straight, or whether I am crooked, I am yours all over Signior: where are these Girls? why come they not forth, O Signior? Enter Wenches.  Ignor. 
Forbear I pray your Cringes and your Cruragies: But what Females are these? Are they your Goods and Chattels?  Torc. 
Sir, I am both a Merchant and a Musician: I keep here a School for Music.  Ignor. 
There is no trusting to a Fiddlestring. Of what Nation are these?  Torc. 
She with a Harp was born in Greece: The other is a German: She with a Timbrel is an Hebrew: She that stands by her, is an English woman: She with a Flute is a Spaniard; and those two with Lutes in their hands, the one of them was born in France, the other in Arcadia; the other four, a Venetian, a Persian, a Turkish Damosel, and a Moor. Join hand in hands, and lead on the Dance.  Ignor. 
They are very pretty Minstrels: Are you their Master?  They dance and sing. Torc. 
Well done my Girls, in earnest: Now go in, but first every one of you in an humble posture salute this Gentleman.  All in their several languages salute and kiss him. Ign. 
What do you make account to do with me? Habetis warrantum de osculando, Have you got any warrant to kiss me? what I vi & armis too; you are good ones I dare warrant you: but who is this that cleaus so close to my lip? (the Moon kisseth him last of all) fie fie, Away, away, It is the wife of the Devil. But tell me Signior, Do those never play at unlawful games against the Statute?  Exeunt Wenches. Torc. 
Believe me Sir, they are unstained, and sealed Virgins.  Igno. 
Sealed! I believe they are sealed with the common Seal. Ha, ha, he.  Torc. 
Neither they nor I admit of any such looseness Signior: God buy to you.  Ign. 
Nay stay a little! what are you angry! I only frangebam jooum did but break a jest, which with us in both is instead & aught to be done although on a man's life; and you take it in bono serio, in good earnest, Come— be merry, And tell me how doth my Rosabella?  Torc. 
Oh, she Signior, because she is no Maid is to marry another.  Ignor. 
But are you in sobria tristitia; speak you this in sober sadness?  Ignor. 
Diable! what Fraud, what Covine, what Deceit is this? was there not an Indenture made betwixt you and me, that if I gave you six hundred Crowns, I should marry your Ward Rosabella; and was not this dies appunctatus the appointed Day for the payment of it? Is not this true?  Torc. 
It is.  Ignor. 
Well, do what you will, I have your Indenture and Obligation safe and sound, signed and dated, and delivered with your own hand? And if you deliver me not Rosabella, you will forfeit the Obligation which is no less than a thousand Crowns. What say you now, there is but one Law, and but one King, you will find no mediety of language to defend you. What say you?  
He thinks all things are transacted here as in the Courts of England, but if you bring me this day the six hundred Crowns I will not alter my resolution.  Ignor. 
You do well; it is agreed already, and condescended to; therefore if possibly I can, I will come myself in my own person this day with the money; if I cannot, I will send one of my Clerks unto you with it.  Torc. 
But I know none of your Clerks.  Ignor. 
And none of my Clerks know you, Sed est totum unum pro eo, It is all one for that; He shall bring you the six hundred Crowns, and the Instruments, And I will tell him that the better to know you, you have a crooked neck; Do you fear any thing?  Torc. 
Yes, I fear Antonio, and the most cunning Trico, who everywhere lie in wait to take Rosabella from me, I cannot take heed enough, and be so wary of them as I should be when I am most heedful; It is safest therefore to agree upon some private token; for to add a Caution unto a Caution is to be doubly cautious.  Ignor. 
Although it be needless, yet if my Clerk Dullman shall come unto you from me, he shall give you this private token. He shall take you thus by the Nose.  Torc. 
Content; Be it so with all my heart, And take heed that you tell no man of it.  Ignor. 
What? Do you take me to be an Idiot?  Torc. 
You shall therefore this day have her; she is my Cousin, and, by all that's chaste, a Virgin.  Igno. 
Ovy dea, Ovy dea; Too morrow I will return to London with her, but I pray you call her hither a little, that I may have a sight of her; for hoc est longum & breve, It is the long and the short of it, I do love her: Do you enjoin her therefore that she return unto me the love of avoir dupois, weight for weight, Do you understand me?  Torc. 
I'll bring her to you presently. Exit Torcol.  Igno. 
I was never so enamoured before in all my life, I am now bestialiter inamoratus most beastly enamoured: But Torcol presently will bring unto me Corpus cum Cauda, cum Causa I would say. Oh that I had one Habeas Corpus now, Ha, he. Whiles I do think on't I do tread on thorns.   

The Fifth SCENE of the First ACT.  
The Argument. Rosabella is brought in weeping, her Uncle enforceth her to love Ignoramus, who courts her what he can with Verses, and fair Words, and relates unto her what a Jointure he will give her. Rosabella is committed to the Charge of a Female Dwarf called Surda; who, being extremely deaf, understands all things by nature: Ignoramus goes for the six hundred Crowns; Surda continueth with Rosabella.  Enter Torcol, Rosabella, Ignoramus, Surda. TOrc. 
Why do you weep so? you stubborn Minion: Have I brought you up so virtuously & so carefully that you should be so disobedient to me, and stand in your own light as much as in mine: Either be well content to marry him, or per aquesta cruz de Dios I will carry you back to Fess, where I will either sell you, or prostitute you: I wish you well; what will you have him? Speak.  Rosab. 
Uncle you are wise: what seemeth good unto you shall be as agreeable unto me.  Torc. 
Why, now you speak well, and as it becometh you:  Rosab. 
I must dissemble my love I see, for fear it be worse with me: my dear Antony shall I never—  Torc. 
I have placed this little Dwarf Surda to be as a Spy over her, who although she hath been deaf these three Months, yet she is faithful, and understands by signs very exactly.  He makes signs to her. Surda. 
I understand you well, that I should have a diligent eye over her, and suffer her not to go far abroad.  Torc. 
'Tis right.  Surda. 
And that I permit not any young man to speak unto her.  Torc. 
Very well.  Surd. 
as soon as Ignoramus hath done speaking with her, that she presently go in again.  Torc. 
ay, with all speed, otherwise I will whip thee unto Death.  Surd. 
What you command shall be performed.  Enter Ignoramus. Torc. 
Signior, my x here doth love you above all creatures in the world; make trial of her: I have some business that calls me hence, but remember the sign and the money.  Ignor. 
There shall be no default.  Torc. 
Surda be careful of what I told you.  Surd. 
I will not fail in it.  Ignor. 
He, ha, he, my Rosabella, hem, hem, hem: Madam and you my Masters of the Jury, This is an Action on the Case. Fie, Fie, my tongue repeats my old accustomed words; I think I am pleading with her now.  Surd. 
As far as I can see he's but a Fool.  Ignor. 
Madame, pardon me, I was never in love before: But to come to the point, shall we join issue Madam, will you marry me?  Rosab. 
I am not worthy of that honour.  Ignor. 
Truly I do love you better Rosabella than I love Rosa solis, I will tell you what; your love hath made me a legitimate Poet, will you accept of some Verses I have made?  Igno. 
Hem, hem, legal Verses on Rosabella; hem, hem,  
Si possem vellem pour te Rosa ponere pellem,  
Quicquid tu vis crava, & habebis singula brava;  
Et dabo Fee simple si monsters Loves pretty dimple,  
Farthingalos, Biggos, stomacheros, & periwigs,  
Pantaflos, Cussos, Garteros, Spanica Ruffos,  
Buskos, & Soccos, Tifanas, & Cambrica Smockos,  
Pimpillos, Pursos, ad ludos ibis & Vrsos.  Anglicè, Beargarden. 
Are not these good in law?  Ros. 
Excellent.  Igno. 
Thou shalt go to Plays, to the Bulls, and to the Bears; Thou shalt do what thou wilt, my Girl, only keep thy Court shut unto others; Here take these Verses, est Billa vera.  Rosa. 
I will keep them in my Breast.  Igno. 
Dost thou love me?  Rosa. 
Who can choose but love you?  Igno. 
Sayst thou so? I will make thee a good Jointure, faciam ut aims me plus & plus, I will make thee love me more and more. Hear what a Jointure I will make thee, and for the better credit of it, it shall run in Latin my Girl: Mark it; Ego Ambidexter Ignoramus infeosso te uxorem meam Rosabellam in Taile special de situ Manerii de Tongwell cum capitali Messuagio; Et do tibi omnia & singula messuagia, Toftos, Croftos, Cottagia, & Columbaria, Molendia, Fullonica, Aquatica, Venatica, Gardinos, Tenementa, Boschos, Suboschos. Jumpnos, Brueros, Moros, moriscos salsos, moriscos frescos, Juncaria, Turbaria, Alneta, Moscheta, communiam pasture, liberam warrenam, piscariam, faldam, & Decimas herbarum, bladorum, granorum, agnellorum, faeni, lini, Canalis, & Tellonium▪ Stallagium, pontagium, picagium, escaeta Catalla Felonum, aviata extra Hara●, wreck maris,  Anglicè, Sea-wracks. Ros. 
O 'tis too much.  Igno. 
Stay dum capio anhelitum, till I take breath, and I will give thee ten times as much.  Ros. 
He makes me smile although my heart doth weep.  Surd. 
Is the man in his right wits? he is more prattling than a Chandler's Magpie or a Parrot.  Igno. 
Give me your love now; Quid pro quo is fair play.  Rosa. 
You demand what is but right.  Igno. 
Give me a kiss then, prithee do.  Rosa. 
What shall I do? O my fine sweetheart, and my Uncle's foul Avarice.  Igno. 
I read fair lines in your face.  He offers to kiss her. Surd. 
Away, away!  Igno. 
I have a quare impodit for you Surda, I will seal and deliver a kiss unto you Rosabella.  Surd. 
Skat, ah.  Igno. 
Adieu (my dear Rosabella) till by and by. Hoc osculum mihi facit bonum apud cor, This kiss doth me good to the heart; I could fly on the wings of the wind: But I will be crafty enough for Torcol; for when I come into England, I will marry a rich wife, and then I will keep this, only in commendo, for a Transi-tempus.  Surd. 
I perceive you love him.  Rosa. 
I love Death better. Exit. Ignor.  Surd. 
You do well to love him, he will give you—  Rosa. 
The POX.  Surd. 
And do you love that Man Antonio?  Rosa. 
As I love my own life.  Surd. 
You seem to hate him, you do well in't; Beshrew my Master's jealousies who so unjustly doth suspect you.  Rosa. 
How much am I tormented that Antonio doth not love me? that he makes not so much as any show of love unto me although it were but mere Dissimulation; But I for my part must play the counterfeit, that so being free from all eyes of suspicion, I may then more opportunely fly unto him, when I am to be led a wretched Bride to Ignoramus Bed. I heard that Antonio was on this day to set sails for London; How perfidious would he prove if he should forsake me now: He hath given me his Troth, if he leaves me now I am undone.  Surd. 
If you marry Ignoramus you shall flow in wealth.   

The sixth SCENE of the first ACT.  
The Argument. Trico the crafty servant of Antonio, doth instruct him by what Arts he may deceive Surda, and have a Conference at the same time with Rosabella, by speaking what they pleased, but in such angry and discontented Gestures that Surda observing it, should not suspect any thing of love betwixt them; In the mean time Trico himself doth pretend love to Surda, and showing her a Ring doth grow upon her credulity, that he courteth her in way of Marriage.  Antonio, Trico, Rosabella, Surda. TRic. 
Sir, I'll warrant you, Take care for something else; I will not fail in this service to you.  Anto. 
My Hope is all in thee Trico.  Tri. 
This day with deceits I will overcome Deceit itself: But whom see I yonder? Master wipe your eyes! Enter Rosabella.  Anto. 
My dear Rosabella! How happy a man am I? And how opportunely now I encounter you, if that old bitch would give me leave but to speak unto you.  Tric. 
Fear not Master; she hath no teeth, she may bark, but cannot bite.  Anto. 
But she may give her Master notice of us by her barking.  Tric. 
I will give her a Sop for that, by pretending love unto her; she is always puppying: In the mean time you may hold conference with Rosabella, but let your gestures express much discontent and choler, that so she believing you to be at great variance, may permit you to talk more freely.  Anto. 
You say well.  Tri. 
Save you Lady!  Surd. 
Touch me not! what do you mean? Forbear your saucy hands!  Tri. 
So angry Lady!  Surd. 
You hurt my hand! Be gone, and be hanged.  Tri. 
Rosabella threatneth Antonio; I like it well.  Surd. 
this Fool loves me: He shows me a Ring too: I will not marry, no not I She folds her Arms.  Tri. 
O the sad Fate of Lovers!  Surd. 
He sighs, poor Fool— I appear beautiful, and that's the reason I am beloved: I am not so old, as some do take me for.  Tri. 
O the Fate of Lovers!  Surd. 
How thick he draws his breath! poor man, I pity him.  Tri. 
O lips of milk, nose of purple, eyes of a sheep, thigh of an Emmet, feet of a Calf, Hands of a Mole, Breast of a Grasshopper, pap of all paps, oh neighing Mare, O gruntling sow! Harrow the Flames that me consume!  Surd. 
He is now praising my Beauty; I apprehend him, I am handsome enough, I thank my stars for it.  Tri. 
Oh most diminutive of all perfections, deaf and thick, and hopper-arsed, old, and hairy, drunken, and apish. Oh my heart, my heart.  Surd. 
He is struck into admiration with my Beauties; Oh that I were not deaf that I might hear my own praises: I hope they will call me Dwarf no more.  Tri. 
O the pangs of Love!  Sur. 
Alas, Alas he weeps, I am compassionate; He is ready to swoon away, Revive thyself my servant, I do love thee, I do.  Ant. 
Pretend to be passionately angry with me!  Sur. 
I tell thee I do love thee, take heart of grace, Oh my dear friend and servant, I will not suffer any to die for love of me, Charity forbids it.  Tri. 
You are mine then for ever; I hardly am able to forbear from laughter, Ha, ha, he: O my heart, my heart.  Surd. 
Fear not, I do love thee; woe is me, I must be gone, yonder's Antonio high in discourse, of whom my Master charged me to beware: well done Rosabella, you seem to be angry, and incensed against him, Chide him, Chide him, do!  Rosab. 
But in earnest I now must chide you Antonio, Have you no remorse to leave me here in all my sorrows, and by going to London to destroy me? Do you now retract from all you have done and spoken, and leave your protestations to the winds and clouds to be dispersed in the Air and lost? Are you so forgetful of them! But Heaven and Faith will remember them, woe is me, what trust is there in Men that are composed only of Cruelty and perfidiousness. Oh.  Surd. 
See how he beats his breast; I cannot blame him; monster of impudence!  Tric. 
Oh my dear love!  Surd. 
Oh my love, I am undone, I am fallen in love just like a wasp into a pot of Honey.  Anto. 
I gave you my faith Rosabella, and striking thus your hand, I now again confirm it.  Surd. 
How inhumanely he struck that young Lady! were I a man, I would fly in the very eyes of him: But in true Love there is no Danger; we are more happy, we—  Tric. 
She sighs just like a Sow that hath lost her first litter of Pigs; Oh my dear heart—!  Surd. 
My sweet Love—!  Anto. 
Pardon me my life, My Father commandeth me to be gone, neither prayers, nor tears can prevail upon him, I take Faith herself to witness, I go unwilling from you.  Rosa. 
Unwilling! Love cannot be compelled; but by degrees it may languish into nothing. You do not love me.  Anto. 
If I love you not most—  Rosa. 
No more! I do believe you.  Surd. 
Woe is me; Love like a hot pot doth boil and bubble in my Breast.  Tric. 
She is mine.  Surd. 
He noddeth and winketh, How prettily he noddeth and winketh; I will nod and wink on him also.  Rosa. 
But why do you not take me, from this impure place; Fie upon't.  Surd. 
Spit on him.  Rosa. 
I live here under the Command of a wicked Uncle who hath lost his honesty with his estate. O beast! why shall I call him a man, who hath nothing of Humanity in him? O my Father's Manes to whom did you intrust me: but though you would be gone Antonio, I will tread in your steps, and follow after you: If I may not live chastely, I will die chastely.  Anto. 
O virtuous manners and resolutions; my heart with grief doth cleave asunder.  Surd. 
She hath touched him home, he beats his breast, and tears his hair, O shameless Man!  Tric. 
O the Fire and smart of Love!  Surd. 
Do not sigh so! Dear sweet heart; Just like an Italian Lover, in glancing eyes he shows his wounded heart: It shows handsome in him, I will return the like unto him.  Rosa. 
Had you but satisfied my Father's avarice with six hundred Crowns, I had not now been miserable.  Anto. 
I protest most solemnly unto you, I could no where provide it; my Friends would not trust me, my Father was inexorable; what should I do?  Rosa. 
I know not; but this I am certain of, that my Uncle by writings hath contracted with Ignoramus for me, who hath promised this day either to bring the Money himself, or to send it by his servant with a secret token which they have agreed upon betwixt themselves.  Tric. 
What is this I hear! Do you know what the token is?  Rosa. 
That is concealed from me, but here are his dainty Verses.  Tric. 
I shall peradventure extract something out of them.  Surd. 
She hath rejected his Letters: That is well; His eyes are red with choler, he stamps on the ground, he is mad I think— O my dear Love Trico I mark you for all that.  Ant. 
Who can see this? who is able to endure it?  Tric. 
Be of good Courage, I will so far prevail, that you shall not go to sea to day, nor lose your Love Rosabella.  Ant. 
O that it so may come to pass.  Tric. 
Trust to this head, this day it will do wonders.  Surd. 
Strike not your head so hard! I do love you, indeed I love you, I was afraid, lest he would have gone near to have swoon away again.  Tri. 
My little tender piece of old, and tough mortality, I am not able to forbear laughing at you outright. He Laugheth.  Surd. 
Ha, ha, he: And I cannot choose but laugh too.  Tric. 
She neigheth I think: But you! it is now high Time. Be gone both of you. This Creature is my own—  Anto. 
You say well, Let us go.  Rosa. 
But she will cry out—  Tric. 
Fool not yourselves, but put that to the trial.  Sur. 
What do you give me a Ring too? marry I thank you for it: Now I am yours; do you wear this handkerchief for me.  Tri. 
What do you mean that you are not gone?— will you marry me presently?  Surda. 
Give me your right hand, and good luck with it.  Tri. 
To be well rid of you.  Sur. 
Let us seal it with a kiss.  Tri. 
O sweet kiss! it makes my mouth to water.  Sur. 
Eh, Eh, I have got a sluttish Cough of late, Eh, Eh.  
O Rottenness— why do you stay there still? be gone I pray— you will lose the opportunity.  Anto. 
Come! let us go! O joy incomparable.  Trico. 
Snails as you are, you have yourselves undone.   

The seventh SCENE of the first ACT.  
The Argument. Torcal intervening disturbeth all things, Surda is beaten and Rosabella carried away.  Torcol, Antonio, Trico, Rosabella, Surda. Tor. 
RUn after them, come back you Fugitive baggage, come back. Help me?  Rosab. 
I am undone.  Surda. 
Why do you beat me so?  Tor. 
Keep off Antonio? Oh excellent Guardian, he beats her Surda! who shall keep the Keeper? O thou Witch thou!  Sur. 
Beat not me so, I am not to be beaten by you, I am to be Married anon.  Tor. 
In the mean time you shall be married to this Cudgel.  Sur. 
What do you mean to use me so? I tell you again I am to be married this day, whither you will, or not; upon my troth I am. Nay, I am even as good as married already; look on this Ring else.  Tor. 
A Ring— Oh the tricks of Trico, but I shall—  Sur. 
St! Husband help me? do you hear?  Tor: 
Get you in— ye pair of strumpets; do you bind them fast in bonds, and keep them safe till I return.  Rosab. 
Kill me rather.  Surd. 
St, St, Trico, Do you so forsake your wife? woe is me.  Ant. 
With what confidence dare you vile Torcol?  Tor. 
Circled me round you Sergeants, Exeunt Rosabella, Surda, and one of the Sergeants. And guard me safe from dangers.  Ant. 
Drag hence my dearest love, I looking on—  Torc. 
Pray Sir Depart▪ And mind your own business, as I will mine, I have nothing to say unto you.  Tric. 
Hangman—  Torc. 
O you are to marry my deaf Dwarf, I shall beware of your tricks Tricol.  Tric. 
I may peradventure be too hard for you anon for all this.  Torc. 
He who threatneth his Enemy doth give him a sword to out his own throat.  Tric. 
Come hither?  Torc. 
Stand further off, and speak there, if you have any thing to say.  Tric. 
No, I will speak it softly in your Ear, Torcol you are a vile pandar.  Torc. 
A stranger must gently always put up all injuries; Signior Antonio, I would not hold any difference with you: I have many other delicate beauties under my tuition; you may make choice of which you will of them to be your wife.  Ant. 
I am much beholding to you  Torc. 
Signior, A la buena ventura.  Ant. 
Forbear your Portugall-Flateries?  Torc. 
Servidor, signior, queda con Dios.  Exeunt Torcol, and Sergeants. Anto. 
Go and be hanged!  Tric. 
This day I have very warily observed him.  Anto. 
O Trico!  Tric. 
Have you but a good courage, and leave the Event to Fortune and my Brain.  Ant. 
I must be gone, my Father expecteth me.  Tric. 
Go then! I will be ready to observe all opportunities; for cautelous I must be that my Master Theodore see me not talking with you: He begins to suspect me already; look where he comes; I am gone, I am gone.   

The Eight SCENE of the First ACT.  
The ARGUMENT:  
Theodore the Father calleth miserable Antonio a Shipboard, and sendeth Trico to his Country House.  Theodorus, Antonio, Trico, Bannacar, and a Mariner. Theo. 
YOu— Trico, Trico, whither are you going, I see you well enough, Do not hide yourself. Is it he, or rather a painted sign in the wall? It moweth not, I will draw near: O Villain! what a face he makes! but look on him.  Tric. 
Truly Master, I was almost quite besides myself, so devoutly I prayed to Almighty God to prosper your son's voyage by Sea.  He brusheth and takes the lint from his Master's clothes. Theo. 
You are very pious!  Tric. 
I am not usually so, I tell you the truth Master.  Theo. 
You take the dust from my clothes, but cannot brush away the dusts of suspicion which cover my doubtful mind? you corrupt my son, sirrah.  Tric. 
Who I Master!  Theo. 
What excuse can you make to help yourself, if I do think so?  Tric. 
Truly Master being so honest to you as I am, you would make me do that—  Theo. 
That! what?  Tric. 
That—  Theo. 
Speak out!  Tric. 
That at last I become stark naught, and as naughtily deceive you.  Theo. 
I apprehend you; Get you therefore to my Country House, and work there, but be sure you return before the Evening.  Tric. 
Will you command me no other service?  Theo. 
Bring my Tenant in the Evening along with you, I will make even some odd Accounts betwixt us.  Tric. 
I will acquaint him with it. Is that all Sir?  Theo. 
Let us go now to the Ship Antonio; where's Bannacar to bring the Trunks and Portmantles after us.  Banna. 
Here Sir!  Theo. 
These Letters to Dorothea, these to Antonine, these to his wife Katherine; remember my love to them, and to all my friends.  Anto. 
It shall be done. Father farewell.  Tri. 
Cheerfully spoken; I like it well.  Theo. 
I will see thee on shipboard my son; see here one of the Seamen!  Marrin. 
By my faith and troth La, why what do you make account to do my Masters? The wind and the ship stays for you.  Theo. 
We are going.  Anto. 
But I unto my Death unless Trico—  Tric. 
St, Fear not.    


The First SCENE of the Second ACT  
The ARGUMENT.  
Theodore being satisfied of his sons going to sea, returneth home with his servant Bannacar, whom of a Mahometan he had made a Christian.  Theodore, Bannacar. Theo. 
MY Son (God bless him) is gone to Sea, I saw him shipped, and the Ship under sail and launched forth; I have since dispatched some Affairs in the City, according to my own mind. Now I go home with an untroubled heart; Bannacar, thou knowest how I received thee into my own House, being a poor Vagabond, and wanting all things, and what is most of all, I made thee a Christian who wert before a Mahometan.  Ban. 
Sir, I must acknowledge I owe unto you not only my life, but my soul also, I will persist therefore in the diligent performance of whatsoever service you shall command me.  Theo. 
Go in! I shall immediadiately find an Employment for you. Exit Ban.  

He that will thrive must be to work inclined;  
For sloth corrupts the body and the mind.    

The Second SCENE of the second ACT.  
The ARGUMENT:  
Trico in a Boat overtakes the Ship, and brings back Antonio, they enter into Counsel for the gaining of Rosabella, Trico promiseth to effect it by the means and help of Cupes, a Hawker, or running seller of Pamphlets; Trico in the mean time receiveth the ten pound in Gold which was given to Antonio by his Father for his Journey, and repaireth to a Broker.  Antonio, Trico. Trico. 
STay a little, whiles I look round about me, Here is no body! Come forth here is not one stirring, not one as I can see.  Anto. 
The Phrygian Troops I circumspected have.  Trico. 
What say you Master? Am not I Trico the great?  Anto. 
Trico the most wonderful.  Trico. 
When I saw your Father go towards the Ship, I stole privately after you and followed close, like a sneaking Dog with his Tail between his Legs; As soon as he was departed, I presently threw myself into the next Boat, and with wind and sails made up unto you; coming to the Ship I pretended that your Mother and her Family were newly arrived, and therefore your Father sent for you again that you might not lose your Journey; Thus in one Boat we both came back. The ship steered on her course for London. But what saith your Father to his Neighbours now? My son Anto. is now sailing to London, God speed him well; my servant Trico, my excellent servant Trico is toiling and sweating poor man at my Country House? this shall be your Country House that I will be at this day, Master Theodorus.  Anto. 
As yet, it moveth handsomely; but what shall I do now? wherefore have you brought me back, shall I enjoy Rosabella.  Trico. 
Trico (as I hope shall bring that to pass also.  Anto. 
I would he could.  Trico. 
Did not you see me speak with one just now?  Anto. 
Yes, yonder Hawker, who cryeth and selleth pamphlets up and down the City.  Trico. 
The very same, his name is Cupes, and you hardly will believe it, he is a greater knave than I am.  Anto. 
No, Torcol is the great knave.  Trico. 
To one great knave, there must be put two half knaves, such as I and Cupes are. Give him but a little money before hand, and he will do wonders.  Anto. 
Here are ten pieces which my thrifty Father gave me for my journey, I have no more.  Trico. 
'Tis enough. Give them me; with these will I suborn Cupes, and afterward discover the whole design unto you; I must now address myself to the Broker to furnish ourselves with clothes for the play, and this design we will carry on very handsomely. Do you bestow yourself in some private Friend's house hard by, and there conceal yourself that your Father may have no notice of it; As soon as I can, I will attend you, and laugh at me, if I effect not your desires.  Anto. 
Say you so, If you make me so happy I will—  Trico. 
No more but be gone.  Anto. 
Let me not live if I fail to—  Trico. 
Why do you stay so long?  Anto. 
I go my Trico.  Tri. 
Cupes this day promised to assist me, I have told him all; see where he comes with his basket of books in his hand.   

The Third SCENE of the Second ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
They plot how to disguise themselves so handsomely as to personate Torcol, and the servant of the Lawyer Ignoramus, and to be sure to remember the Horn if Ignoramus comes himself. Cupes having received eight crowns to make his scolding wife more tractable, doth promise most solemnly his utmost diligence. Trico goeth to provide Ornaments, and disguises for Cupes and his Wife Polla.  Cupes, Trico. Cupes. 
BOoks, Books, who buys my books, new books, witty books, witty and new, new and true, come who buys my books, new books new!  Trico. 
You! books, books!  Cupes. 
O Trico, I will come to you presently. As I live, I have most pitiful books here to day.  Trico. 
Why so?  Cupes. 
I cannot sell one of them; prithee stay a little.  Trico. 
Make haste then.  Cupes. 
Come! who buys my books, here is the Eel or Grigg of Equivocation, or of the Art of lying confidently cum privilegio, by the Reverend Father in the Devil Andraeas Belzebub, and Johannes Cydonius; come who buys my books? who buys Belzebub?  Trico. 
No body.  Cupes. 
I will sell them to you almost for nothing? for three souse, two souse, one souse, half a souse, a ungrand Diable.  Trico. 
Have you the Devil's club?  Cupes. 
The Devil's club— let me see— there is such a book, but it is prohibited, what would you do with it?  Trico. 
With that Devil's Club I would beat out the brains of Andreas Belzebub the Devil of Devils.  Cupes. 
Tut, you could not hurt him.  Tric. 
Why?  Cup. 
His Head and Face is all of steel; Come who buys my Books; who buys my book of the way how to hold the Eel of Equivocation by the tail.  Tri. 
By the tail, by the neck as well; I will buy it, by and by.  Cup. 
Come my fine Books. Pellio the Skinner, versipell Pellio or the way of turning the skin by Pellio himself.  Tric. 
Prithee name that Pellio no more, lest he spoil our Comedy, as heretofore he did the Comedies of Plautus, It makes my heart ache to think of him.  Cup. 
I am no body to day.  Tric. 
I would I had his skin stuffed with straw.  Cup. 
Straw! Hold thy peace. I tell thee Straws make saints now a days; will you have the Apology for Garnet: There is a conceited straw for you.  Tric. 
Cupes; There is some hope that you and I may be saints also.  Cup. 
What hope Trico?  Tric. 
Because we are such very reprobates.  Cup. 
Come, my brave books. The Canonising of Saint Garnet, of Saint James Clement, of Saint Raviliac, all three from the Vatican Library; Here is Schioppius, the Night Owl, Come who buys Schioppius.  Tric. 
Not one buyer all this while— O wonderful!  Cup. 
The flatterer or Schioppius, the art of flattering; A manuscript.  Tric. 
Let me see that book: Fie upon't! how it smelleth of the sloven that did compose it? he wrote it with his own Urine.  Cup. 
Come who buys, who buyeth it, I am undone.  Tri. 
Enough— you now have read over all your rank poisons.  Cup, 
Would these pamphlets were all burnt for me, what have I done? what have I said? that they should undo me with these paltry pamphlets.  Tri. 
Take heed how you trade in them for the time to come; O Wretched writers! O Generation of Scribblers, Incendiaries, Disturbers of the World, Insuarers of the People; Destroyer's of the Nobility, Murderers of Kings, and Advancers of the Pope.  Cup. 
Away with them all? the Annals of Volusius, mais quoy vanno via manniconia; but I have some books here worth any money; Here is the Prologue Caballin, or the Metamorphosis of Messe Davy, also his milleloquy at supper. The tilting of Mess Davy, and his Syn-Coriatical peregrinations.  Tri. 
Both he and his books deserve to be tossed together in a blanket.  Cup. 
But now, behold my books. Cupes of the art of drinking, enlarged, revised and purged from a hundred faults, together with an Addition to it, and a Commentary on it. Cupes de cupediis.  Tri. 
Doth so poor a man as you love Delicates?  Cup. 
I hate these gross fed Parasites, when I have money, I feed on nothing but choice meats, and dainties.  Tri. 
But Cupes, Cupes, long not for Pheasants you have scarce two Farthings to buy a half penny Loaf.  Cup. 
Why, I may have a good mind to them for all that.  Tri. 
And why so Cupes? Are you a Cupedinarian?  Cup. 
I was one heretofore, I have been of a thousand professions; when I was a young man at Paris I was a player.  Tri. 
Thou hast made me happy then; for this day thou art to act the part of many persons.  Cup. 
At Venice I served a Confectionary; there I made Wafers, Marchpans, Macaroons, Suckets, Dry and Wet, and all manner of Sweetmeats.  Tri. 
There you could lick your Fingers.  Cup. 
But that which I most affected was at Tholouse, where being servant to a Vintner, I fragally sipped every day three or four Gallons only of Wine, till at the last my master broke; after that I ran away into Holland where I carried about an Ape with a Gay Coat on his back; at Rome I was leader to a blind man.  Tri. 
He gave you therefore but blind obedience.  Cup. 
At Rome? why? He who is most obedient there, is most blind.  Tri. 
What did you do in England?  Cup 
O la bonne terre d' Angleterre; I first was there a Sowgelder in the Country; afterwards I was an under Butler in the Inns of Court amongst the Lawyers.  Trico. 
Were you ever in Spain?  Cup. 
Never.  Tri. 
Why not?  Cup. 
I cannot be contented with three Raisins for my Supper Trico.  Tri. 
'Tis well, but do you remember, what I told you of, even now?  Cup. 
I do, and I promise to perform it, by putting on a disguise to personate one Torcol.  Tri. 
But with a crooked and a distorted Neck.  Cup. 
Why thus! how do you the posture?  Tri. 
Admirably.  Cup. 
Afterwards I am to counterfeit the servant of a Lawyer.  Tri. 
But if Ignoramus comes himself, be sure you do remember the Horn.  Cup. 
Remember it, I will warrant you; not any one of them knows me.  Tri. 
And thus disguised you will be the more unknown; but you must teach your wife also how to personate Rosabella, she is apprehensive I know, and will be apt to follow your instructions.  Cup. 
She is, but I am afraid I shall not be able to persuade her to it, she is so unreasonably obstinate, and always scolding, nay she will beat me also.  Tri. 
What is she a Fury?  Cup. 
A Fury Trico; she is all the Furies in one.  Tri. 
If I had three such Wives I would give two of them to the Devil upon a Condition.  Cup. 
What condition Trico?  Tri. 
That he should take away the third.  Cup. 
Let him take her.  Tri. 
But I will give both her and you, that which shall overcome you both, look you, here is eight pieces in Gold.  Cup. 
Give it me, and I will bring my Dame.  Tri. 
I conjure thee Cupes by thy bowels.  Cup. 
You have conjured me by that which is most dear unto me.  Tri. 
That you will be careful in the performance of this.  Cup. 
It shall be done.  Tric. 
I will go and procure the clothes and properties for you and your wife. Be you always waiting here to prevent all inconveniences, and to provide a Remedy upon every Emergency.  Cupes. 
I will, but this night we will sup together; it shall be a night of mirth.  Tri. 
Your words are full of Hospitality, may all things prosper with you.  Cup. 
Farewell, I will now call forth my wife and overcome her with gold; for without that she will do nothing: I know she will scold as her usual manner is; she is always muttering and murmuring, like a Weesil crushing the bones of a Mouse; Polla! wife Polla! why Polla I say.   

The Fourth SCENE of the Second ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Polla at the first rants it, but having received the gold, she flatters her Husband; And if Cupes, in the mean time, will bring no Wenches into his House, she promiseth that in other apparel she will personate another woman, and so be delivered to one whose Name is Pecus.  Polla, Cupes. Poll. 
POlla, Polla! what a hooping and a hollaing is here? what are you got drunk again?  Cup. 
I would I were, my Polla, I have not drank one drop of wine this day?  Poll. 
Why dost thou stand so idle here thou swilling-tub? Hast thou sold any Pamphlets this day? Hast thou got any money thou drunken Sot, thou?  Cup. 
Not a farthing.  Poll. 
How! I shall—  Cup. 
Would the pamphlets were all burnt, and the writers of them hanged for me.  Poll. 
And thou hanged with them, sometimes thou pawnest my Books, sometimes my clothes to the Vintners in their Taverns.  Cup. 
'Tis true my Phillis, I have done it, and thou hast soundly Cudgeled me for it.  Poll. 
I have, and will soundly Cudgel, and Cudgel thee again. Shall I sit spinning with an empty belly all day at home, when you in the Taverns are all in a hoyt, dying the pavements with Claret Wine and Muskadine; but if ever I see you set but your foot again within a Tavern.—  Cup. 
What? not so much as my foot.  Poll. 
I have said it.  Cup. 
Then kill me without any more ado; But clear thy brow, my Dear, what wilt thou drink Sweat-heart! tell me my Love!  Poll. 
Away with these flatteries; If my clothes be not redeemed—  Cup. 
Sweet Love, they shall be redeemed, look thee what here is—  Poll. 
What Gold! where didst thou get that Gold sweet Man?  Cup. 
Now I am your sweet Man. O Gold what canst thou not do? will you have half of it?  Poll. 
Yes my dear Soul.  Cup. 
Dear Soul! O thou most dissembling Woman! well, you shall have half, if you will do me one small courtesy.  Poll. 
What is it?  Cup. 
Nothing, but a little to put thyself forth to a Friend of mine to use thee.  Poll. 
O wicked man; what wilt thou put forth thy wife to use, thou thyself knowing it?  Cup. 
You do not rightly understand me?  Poll. 
What, if I should now make thee a Cornelius' of a Cupes.  Cup. 
I would then make thee again a Corn-eliu of a Bolla.  Poll. 
Tell me what sayst thou? hadst thou rather be Publius Cornelius, or Cornelius Tacitus?  Cup. 
Oh, Cornelius Tacitus by a great deal, but I think no Man will make a Whore of such a pitiful Jade as thou art, Ha, Ha, Herald  Poll 
Pitiful Jade; Dost thou laugh at me, thou ugly Tankard-bearer?  Cup. 
No lovely and fair; I do not laugh at you, you do much mistake me.  Poll. 
What dost thou mean by it, tell me then?  Cup. 
Canst thou in another Habit personate another Woman.  Poll. 
Is that all? very easily.  Cup. 
And make a surrender of thyself to one Pecus; he will neither tempt nor force thy Chastity, never fear him?  Poll. 
Fear him? shall I fear any one Man who have beaten a thousand?  Cup. 
Me, I am sure on't, you have full often.  Poll. 
Well— give me the Gold, and I will warrant thee my Cupes; Never doubt it?  Cup. 
Look you here then? here are two pieces for you; after you have effected your business, I will give you two more.  Poll. 
Agreed, but on this condition, that in my absence you bring none of your Wenches into my House as your usual manner is.  Cup. 
O vainly Jealous! Why I sleep always with you, all night long?  Poll. 
You sleep indeed, I had rather that you should wake by half, but if I take any of your Wenches in my house; by Earth and Air, and the Heights above, and the Deeps below—  Cup. 
O swear not downwards.  Poll. 
I will drag them out into the streets by the Hair of their Head, where I will so belabour them, that they shall not be able to stir a Foot.  Cup. 
You shall never find me with any.  Poll. 
On that condition, I will assist thee according to thy expectation.  Cup. 
Let us go in my Phillis, where I will give thee more full instructions.   

The Fifth SCENE of the Second ACT.  
The ARGUMENT:  
Antonio, and Trico do borrow clothes of a Broker, and for a pawn they give him a Brass King with a counterfeit stone in it, Cupes goeth to make himself ready.  Antonio, Trico, Pyropus, Cupes. Anto. 
THe plot you told me of pleaseth.  Tric. 
Pyropus, the Broker will be here presently.  Ant. 
But what pawn shall we give him for the clothes we are to have?  Tri. 
You say well.  Ant. 
I have given you all the Money I have.  Tri. 
Have you no Rings, nor Jewels?  Ant. 
None at all.  Tri. 
But Trico, Master, hath a Ring.  Ant. 
A Brass one peradventure.  Tri. 
But double-gilt with a brave stone in't.  Ant. 
Some Counterfeit I believe.  Tri. 
Pure glass Sir, finely cut and painted; it sparkles so, that any may may be deceived with it.  Ant. 
Trico, Let me see it.  Tri. 
Put it on your finger, and pretend that you value it at a very great rate; It is ten to one, but he will swallow it: St, no more words, here he comes himself— save you Pyropus.  Pyro. 
Save you Sir; Come hither Boy, and show the Gentlemen the clothes you have brought.  Ant. 
Quickly; for I am in great haste at this present.  Pyr. 
Come— sirrah, dispatch; what a fumbling do you make; Give them me; Look you Gentlemen, There is no man in all Bordeaux that can show you better, or hath more choice.  Tri. 
Master This is a very good suit to travel in.  Pyr. 
But observe the fashion, and the workmanship of it.  Tri. 
Cupes shall wear these, and polo these; And this shall serve for the other.  Pyr. 
I have brought all you told me of.  Ant. 
Well, well, go too— give us the price?  Tri. 
But only for one days wearing.  Pyr. 
Shall I be at a word with you verily.  Ant. 
Dispatch then.  Pyr. 
Shall I be at a word, verily shall I be at a word with you?  Ant. 
You kill me with delays.  Pyr. 
Well— Verily and indeed lafoy, you shall give me Forty shillings.  Ant. 
Forty shillings.  Pyr. 
You cannot give me less verily.  Tri. 
Verily saith well Master.  Pyr. 
Yes verily.  Tri. 
Pray Sir then make short with verily.  Ant. 
Well— I will give it.  Pyr. 
I do value them all at fourscore pound.  Tric. 
The man verily saith well.  Pyr. 
If you cannot spare so much money, let me have but a sufficient Mortgage.  Tric. 
And Verily▪ what needs that, my Master being one of the chiefest Merchants son in all the City?  Anto. 
What do you doubt me?  Pyr. 
No Sir; but the Custom of our trade expecteth some security.  Ant. 
I have a Ring on my finger which I value at a very high Rate.  Tric. 
What, that Master, with the rich precious stone in't?  Anto. 
The very same.  Tric. 
'Tis worth at least three hundred pound.  Pyr. 
Let me have that?  Ant. 
What, a Ring of so great a Value; How shall I be sure to have my Ring again?  Pyr. 
I have a shop verily.  Tri. 
He hath verily.  Ant. 
You will not trust me being a Gentleman, why shall I trust you being but an ordinary Tradesman?  Pyr. 
I know not what to say more—; pray give me my Goods again!  Tri. 
Master you may trust him, The Man is an honest Man verily, I have known him along time.  Pyr. 
Do you know me verily?  Tri. 
Yes verily.  Ant. 
Upon your word I will trust him with it.  Pyr. 
Verily how it shines, and glisters, and sparkles?  Tri. 
It doth verily flammasque imitante Pyropo.  Pyr. 
Gentlemen, God be with you?  Tri. 
Let your Boy first convey these things for us into the next Lane, and leave 'em—  Pyr. 
At what Sign?  Tri. 
At the Sign of the Anchor.  Pyr. 
He shall verily.  Tri. 
Farewell my Fine City-wit verily.  Ant. 
I hope now that all things will answer our expectation; But what if Ignoramus should now come himself—  Tri. 
We will fright him hence; Be you but vigilant and lie close, and we shall do well enough.  Ant. 
I will be all eyes my Trico.  Tri. 
And I and Cupes will lie in Ambush here.  Ant. 
But what if I light upon my Father?  Tri. 
I presently will intrust you how to circumvent him. Go and make yourself ready.  Ant. 
I am gone.  Tri. 
If any thing falls out crossly, you must with patience endure it; for Fortune sometimes will falter.  Ant. 
Be no bad Prophet Trico.; Fortune I hope will assist us, but make what hast you can unto me; for without you I am but a blindman without a Guide.  Tric. 
I will be with you again immediately. Do you hear Cupes, Cupes, Take these clothes, and presently attire yourselves.  Cup. 
It shall be done in an instant.  Tric. 
But whom see ● here? my best and familiar Friend Milsalis▪ He promised to assist me; I peradventure may drain something from him as often heretofore I have done.   

The Sixth SCENE of the Second ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Musaeus complaineth of Ignoramus, and what a slavish life he leads with him. He propounds him in a Riddle unto Trico, and informs him, that Ignoramus is coming with six hundred Crowns, Trico sends Musaeus to Antonio, and Cupes, to acquaint them with it.  Musaeus, Trico. Musae. 
I Would my parents had broke my neck when they first placed me to this Fool Ignoramus; Let me say, or do what I can to please him, he is always exclaiming against me; How ill favouredly doth he carry himself? This is my fine scholar; he neither knows how to put a Bridle on a Horse, nor to ride him, being bridled, nor mend a broken Girt; where are your Syllogisms now, you Vniversity-Coxcomb?  Tric. 
Musaeus how do you?  Musae. 
Well Trico, were it not ill with me in having so bad a Master; I would he had his due for me.  Tric. 
What is the matter?  Musae. 
He doth so torment and confound me with his babbling.  Tric. 
Why, Is he not fluent, accurate, and eloquent?  Musae. 
There be others indeed that are so, but he is nothing less; he doth all things so perversely, he puts his Cap on his Feet, and his shoes on his Head.  Tric. 
O most ridiculous!  Musae. 
Trico I will read thee a Riddle, and do you solve it?  Tric. 
Let me hear it.  Musae. 
What is that which liveth by Right, and by Wrong, which hath a great Heart and no Heart, which is both an Ambidexter, and a Bifront, which speaketh Much, and speaketh Nothing; which is Jest in Earnest, and Earnest in Jest; which speaketh English, Dutch, French and Latin, yet speaketh neither English, nor Dutch, nor French, nor Latin; which writeth Laws that they may be misprisions, and which writeth misprisions that they may be Laws, which maketh a Finite Infinite; Truth, no Truth, and no Truth, Truth.  Tric. 
Which maketh Truth no Truth, who should this be, but Belzebub Cydonius?  Mus. 
It is he, and it is not he.  Tric. 
Who loves to speak in an unknown Tongue— It is A Popish Priest.  Mus. 
It is something like him, but not the same.  Tri. 
What a Blockhead am I? now I have it.  Mus. 
What, or who is it?  Tri. 
It is your Master Ignoramus.  Mes. 
You are an Oedipus.  Tri. 
Who was Father to this Monster?  Mus. 
Francus Soloicophanes, his Mother's Name was Barbara Latina.  Tric. 
Where was he born?  Mus. 
In great Puritania.  Tri. 
In what City?  Mus. 
Either Aurelia, or Argentina.  Tri. 
What doth he feed upon?  Mus. 
The Common Law.  Tri. 
Is he not Learned? Doth he not know the seven Liberal Arts?  Mus. 
The Seven Arts! why, I tell you, he knows all letters.  Tri. 
Good God what all letters?  Mus. 
Why— There are but four and twenty Letters in all.  Tri. 
He is a Man of a Thousand!  Mus. 
Certainly there are but few such as he is; Every Order nevertheless hath both good and bad, both wise men and fools; In good corn there are some bad ears, and in bad some good ones; It were foolish therefore and inhuman (although many are guilty of it) to inveigh against whole Societies and Orders, and the studies of many Men for the extravagancies of some few persons; If need were I could number up many excellent Men of this Order so transcendent for Wisdom, Learning, and Piety, that they are hardly to be paralleled, who have both learnedly expounded, and sincerely delivered the Laws of their own Country, than which there is nothing more just, or righteous: These Men we always prosecute with deserved honour; for they proceeded from us, and are for us. No man is an Enemy to Learning but Ignoramus; Let Ignoramus therefore and such as he are, who desire the Ruin of the Church and Universities—  Tric. 
Be for ever banished.  Mus. 
Nay, let them go into Morbonia.  Tric. 
They will be angry with you.  Mus. 
Ignoramus will, but no man else; but what he thinketh or thinketh not, is all one to me.  Tric. 
To bring such a man upon the Stage were dangerous.  Mus. 
Not at a jot, why all the world is but a Stage where every man's a player.  Tric. 
Come Musaeus we grow too serious, Tell me what is thy Master Ignoramus now about?  Mus. 
He is coming unto Torcol; He hath told the Money just now.  Tric. 
I am undone.  Mus. 
I came on purpose to acquaint you with it.  Tric. 
And why with a pox no sooner? make all the haste you can to Cupes, and bid him be sure to remember the Horn.  Mus. 
What Horn?  Tri. 
What is that to you; He knows already what is to be done, let him immediately acquaint Antonio with it, let them be both in a readiness.  Mus. 
I fly, may some evil fall on Ignoramus, I heartily do wish it.  Tri. 
If he comes not immediately away,— the whole plot is spoiled, Woe is me, Ignoramus is come already.   

The Seventh SCENE of the Second ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Ignoramus brings the six hundred Crowns which he bargained for Rosabella, Trico the more to delay the time until they can be dressed in their disguises propoundeth a ridiculous case in Law to be pleaded by Ignoramus, which when he insists upon longer than ordinary, Trico, to requite his patron's courtesy, acquaints him what Antonio hath contrived against him, and that he had sworn to geld his Rival Ignoramus wheresoever he could find him.  Ignoramus with his Money, Trico. Igno. 
HEre is the legem pone, Here are the six hundred Crowns, which just now I intended with Torcol, for my Sweetheart Rosabella.  Tri. 
He hath brought the Money, I am undone.  Ign. 
If I live, Rosabella my stella d●nsab● veteres mensuras, I will Dance my old measures with thee.  Tri. 
They have watched him well—  Ign. 
This is the Indenture, and the Obligation of Roderigo Torcol, I will go to him in propria persona.  Tri. 
Out upon't,— what makes them stay so long? I must detayn him with some discourse or other— Save you Sir.  Ign. 
Sirrah who are you, Ha.  Tri. 
A poor man Sir,, that hath spent all his Estate in Law.  Ign. 
Oh, oh; In forma pauperis, Abi via, Abi via, Away, Away.  Tri. 
Sir I crave your Counsel.  Ign. 
My Counsel Knave, Legem pone, Legem pone.  Tri. 
We must give a Sop to Cerberus, what shall I do? I have some brass money about me, I will sling it away on him; Sir I am a very poor man.  Ign. 
A poor man— That signifies nothing.  Tri. 
But because Sir, you are well versed in Causes, I must beseech you to hear my Cause, And what Money I have left is here at your service.  Igno. 
Oh well, well, Have you joined Issue?  Tri. 
Issue— What shall I say now?— yes Sir, Issue, Issue.  Igno. 
Declare?  Tri. 
My Grandfather Grunnio, the son of Boar, had an Uncle called Hog.  Ign. 
Quondam Uncle.  Tri. 
You say right Sir Quondam Uncle, but the Quondam Uncle of the Sister of my Quondam Grandmother, who was Cousin German, to the Grandmother of my Quondam Father.  Ign. 
Well said Quondam; Alloons.  Tri. 
Did bequeath unto me a black Horse; the truth is, he had but a short come off: why shall I dissemble? he had no Tail, but what then? should any man put a Nettle under it?  Ign. 
In tail special, In good Earnest by Right he could not do it.  Tri. 
He did nevertheless, but he did. Wince and Kick, and fling his legs aloft.  Ign. 
Take heed of that.  Tri. 
And he killed the Deer and Pheasants.  Ign. 
O Damage Faisant Here must be a demur.  Tri. 
And certainly the Calendar lied abominably; for I well remember it did hail.  Ign. 
A good circumstance, and which maketh for you.  Tri. 
Slow man of Bordeaux▪ what not yet— Sir? And he not only put a Nettle under his Tail, but he repleated all his mouth with pepper.  Ign. 
Repleated? a replevit will not serve in this case.  Tri. 
So I thought, but he having before his eyes the Figure or copy of a white Horse.  Ign. 
O— What Copses too, it is in tertio Richardi primi potest Copitias Toppare, Loppare, & abscoriare, He may Top them and Lop them, and do what he will with them.  Tri. 
He did not though— I lost him that year, who can help it— what do you think of it Sir— Snails! we are undone.  Ign. 
What do I think of it? was not that black cheval your Chattel personal?  Tri. 
Chattel, yes Chattel indeed, but I am afraid of the pepper Sir.  Igno. 
You say well and there is the point indeed; for this is your case, If John an Oaks in●eoffat John a Styles de Black Acre, and John a Styles capit Black Acre & White Acre, in this case Tout is void, All▪ All.  Tri. 
I think they are asleep— But the pepper being snuffed into his Nose did make him stand an end on his Legs before, and break wind backwards.  Ign. 
Snuffing, and Leaping, and petting is a good Tenor doubt it not.  Tri. 
But I am still afraid of the pepper.  Ign. 
What need you fear. But take out a subpena for him, and if he doth not return black Cheval, and white Chevil cum costis ad pinguebus dammagis, with costs and ●at damages, say that Ignoramus non habet Lex.  Tri. 
I thank you Sir.  Ign. 
Farewell, For I have some business must be dispatched.  Tri. 
But Sir, For the good Counsel you gave to me, I have some good Counsel, to requite your love, for yourself, And what much concerns you. If you are Ignoramus, make all the haste you can away, Fly and be gone.  Ign. 
Ha— Fly wherefore?  Tri. 
You love Rosabella that liveth here hard by.  Ign. 
What then?  Tri. 
Antonio also is deeply in love with her, and in my hearing did swear most seriously that He would dismember Ignoramus wheresoever He could light upon him.  Ign. 
It was but in Jest.  Tri. 
But do you get you gone in Earnest, and have a care of yourself; for that most dissolute Cutter hath gelded very many that I know of.  Ign. 
You have put me in a bodily fear, and because I am in a strange place, I am in a greater doubt; look yonder Fabula est in lupus.  Tri. 
He comes at last.—   

The vl SCENE of the Second ACT.  
The ARGUMENT:  
Antonio Enters full of threatening, Cupes within sounds a Horn, as if he were a Sowgelder, Ignoramus hides himself, but being discovered he had much to do to escape the affront of being gelded; but having sworn that he would never come to Rosabella again, he was permitted to depart. Antonio goeth to a Painter, to paint him a little Mole on his Cheek, which his Father observing may conceive thereby that he is not Antonio, but Antonine newly come from London unto Bordeaux.  Antonio, Cupes, Ignoramus Trico. Anto. 
WHere is that old Whoremaster Ignoramus, who would defraud me of my Love? If I serve him not as I would a Hee-goat—  Tric. 
Do you hear now?  Igno. 
Doth he use to be as good as his word?  Tric. 
He never breaks it.  Igno. 
He is not Compos mentis, I will have a Breve for him.  Anto. 
I have brought the Sowgelder along with me, he will be here presently.  Igno. 
Client Trico, I am in a great fear Client.  Cup. 
Trin— Tran. Cupes within sounds his Horn like a Sowgelder.  Tri. 
I hear him now.  Cup. 
Trin— Tran.  Igno. 
Client Trico, Tremblo, tremblo, I tremble all over, what shall I do?  Anto. 
I hear him.  Cup. 
Trin— Tran.  Tri. 
Hide yourself here behind me, lest they discover you quickly, quickly, and as covertly as you can, quickly I say.  Cup. 
What do we stay for? I have all things here in a readiness, Look you here else.  Anto. 
Friend, do you hear? Did you not see a Lawyer hereabout?  Igno. 
Say I am gone to London?  Tric. 
He is gone to London.  Anto. 
I heard he was here but just now.  Igno. 
Say I am gone home— then.  Tric. 
He is gone home.  Anto. 
He shall not so escape I'll warrant him.  Igno. 
Client, go sidelong, that I may make an escape.  Tric. 
Close, close.  Cup. 
Something goes yonder, what is it?  Ant. 
Here he lies, Lawyer! How dare you be so bold?  Igno. 
Show me your Testatum est latitare.  Ant. 
But you shall have but little to show before I have done with you, Let us go in with him.  Cup. 
Come to the Court Lawyer.  Igno. 
I command you in the King's Name to keep the peace.  Anto. 
You prattle in vain.  Tri. 
He is my patron, I beseech you Gentlemen.  Ant. 
You pray in vain.  Igno: 
What do I pray? what will you not look upon the Almanac first?  Ant. 
Why so?  Igno. 
Why? Upon my Honesty you will find the Sign in Scorpio.  Tric. 
'Tis full of Danger then.  Igno. 
Take heed what you do, If I die within a year and a Day—  Ant. 
Your words move us not.  Igno. 
What will you judge me non audita querela?  Cup. 
No, no, you shall be judged by your peers.  Tric. 
I beseech you Gentlemen, I beseech you for him.  Anto. 
If we should let him go, he would presently come sneaking hither again.  Igno. 
Client Balliato me, pray bail me Client.  Tric. 
I will engage for him that he shall come no more.  Igno. 
I swear most solemnly, If ever you find me here again—  Tric. 
What do you run away?  Cup. 
Follow him, follow him, whither runs he.  Igno. 
I am safe and sound now, titillabo vos, monstrabo tricum de lege, I shall tickle you for this isaith, and show you a trick of the Law; but because I have sworn, I will not go myself, but send my Clerk Dullman for Rosabella.  Cup. 
He is gone, he he.  Tric. 
Ha, he, he.  Ant. 
Ha, he, he.  Tri. 
You are gallant Watchers, How well did you attend his coming?  Cup. 
I was ready, and at hand, and heard all your discourse till I was ready to burst with laughter.  Tri. 
He is now possessed with such a fear, that he will send his servant, do you Cupes therefore and your wife attire yourselves in such habits, that you may be taken for Torcol, and he for Rosabella.  Cup. 
I go, it is done me thinks already.  Tri. 
Master, and let us be jogging too, I will tell you in the way the rest of the fallacy, I must go now to the painter, and take you along with me.  Ant. 
What shall we do with him?  Tri. 
He shall paint a little Mole in your Cheek, Let us go, I will tell you what you shall do if peradventure you shall meet with your Father in the way.    


The First SCENE of the Third ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Whiles Antonio in painting the Mole in his cheek, Trico proceedeth in his deceits; Dullman cometh with the Indenture, and the Crowns to take away Rosabella, he asketh Trico of the Portugal; Trico makes answer that the Portugal with his wry neck is his Master, and shows him the verses which Ignoramus gave to Rosabella.  Trico, Dullman, Cupes, within. Tri. 
I Have well instructed my servant Antonio, the Painter is now painting the Mole upon his Cheek.  Dull. 
I see here no body, but by the Mass I am in a great fear, for there are many Ins●n● Pilei, called Madcaps here in Burdeaux.  Tri. 
What Bird have we here!  Dull. 
My Master Ignoramus swore that they would make a Gelding of him.  Tri. 
He is a stranger.  Dull. 
A fine Riot, was it not, to take away our instruments.  Tri. 
He holds the writings in his hand.  Dull. 
My Master therefore gave me a letter of Attorney to take s●l●in of a certain Virgin called Rosabella, whom I never saw.  Tri. 
Certainly this is Ignoramus servant; Cupes, Cupes are you in a readiness?  Cup. 
At hand quoth pickpurse.  Tri. 
Here is the servant of Ignoramus.  Cup. 
Hold your peace.  Dull. 
I see one yonder, I will demand of him, if he knows his message to whom I go; my Master said he was a Porsugall with a wry Neck, I have no other knowledge of him, Hoh, honest man,  Tri. 
Who would you speak with Friend?  Dull. 
He is a man of a good behaviour, I would speak with one whose name I do not know, do you know it?  Tri. 
What a Blockhead 'tis? of what Country and complexion is he?  Dull. 
He is a Portugal,  Tri. 
With a wry Neck?  Dull. 
So they say.  Tri. 
'tis ten to one, but 'tis my master.  Dull. 
It may be so.  Tri. 
Do you remember the first letter of his Name?  Dull. 
Puto, facio, I believe I do.  Tri. 
Doth it begin with a B?  Dull. 
A, B,— No?  Tri. 
With G?  Dull. 
G— No.  Tric. 
With R.  Dull. 
R,— No, No.  Tri. 
With T?  Dull. 
T— stay ● yes, T, T.  Tri. 
Torcol.  Dull. 
Torcol, Torcol, A pox on't; I have his name here in black and white; are you his servant?  Tri. 
Yes Signior,  Dull. 
In bono tempo, what is your Name?  Tri. 
What shall I now say— Mendoza.  Dull. 
Mendoza; in bono tempo.  Tri. 
And what is your name, I pray you?  Dull. 
Dullman, the Senior Clerk to Ignoramus.  Tri. 
Dullman Clark to Ignoramus, in bono tempo, have you brought the Crowns with you Dullman?  Dull. 
Six hundred Mendoza, and the Indenture with them.  Tri. 
In bono tempo, Do you know whose hand this is?  Dull. 
I marry do I, It is my Master's hand.  Tri. 
'tis right, he made these verses on our Rosabella.  Dull. 
Pimpillos, pursoes, ad ludos ibis & ursos; Right, Right, you say very well, they are his verses indeed, I would I could make such, but I pray you call your Master hither, to tender a Delivery of Rosabella to me.  Tri 
He will come presently.  Dull. 
Est hic honestus sodalis warrantizabo. An honest good fellow this I will warrant him; I would Rosabella would come with him, I seem for the present to be in a Forest, I do so fear the Tax of Horngelt.   

The Second SCENE of the Third ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Cupes enters with a wry Neck counterfeiting himself to be Torcol, and to carry on the deceit more handsomely he speaks some Fragments of the Portugal tongue; they both of them deceive Dullman, and fish out of him the Indenture, the Crowns and the sign whereby Torcol might be assured that he is Ignoramus servant.  Cupes, Trico, Dullman: Cup. 
LOs Diablos te gannan picar●, you Rascal have you no more manners in you?  Dull. 
This is the Portugal with the crooked neck; I conceive him to be, but I am sorry he is so impatient with the poor man his servant.  Cup. 
Sirrah can you not bring the friend of my most honoured Lord (save you Signior) into my house, you Rascal, that he may taste a cup of Wine after the English Fashion.  Dull. 
I thank you Sir.  Tri. 
There is no such fashion in our Country.  Cup. 
Trunkan Villaco! what stand you still, and dumb like a dog? where is Diego? where is Alonzo? where is Piedro? where is Guzman?  Tri. 
I know not Master, I.  Cup. 
You know not Master! just so I thought, but I shall—  Dull. 
Master Torcol I pray, noli chafare propter me: chafe not for me I pray Sir, your man is a good servant truly.  Cup. 
A good servant with a Halter— but Signior have you brought— have you brought Signior?  Dull. 
Ovy, Ovy dea, yes, yes, Signior, my master hath sent you here six hundred Crowns.  Cup. 
So he is bound to do, you Sirrah? watch-I-call, you— Mendoza!  Tri. 
Here Master.  Cup. 
Tell the Money?  Dull. 
Here is your Indenture also, look you Sir, here is your own hand, and your own Seal to it.  Cup. 
(He looks upon it) Hum— Roderigo Torcol; it is as you say.  Dull. 
Deliver now Rosabella to me for my Master's use.  Cup 
Stay a little— and first tell me what is the private token which was agreed upon betwixt your Master and myself?  Dull. 
You say well, and that no Breve Erroris be here committed, I am enjoined to give you a sound tweak by the Nose.  Cup. 
By the Nose Signior?  Dull. 
Your Nose must come into the Court Nasal, and pay Homage Nasative, come Sir, ha, ha, he, My Master is such another merry Man, come Sir Here I have it, I faith now.  Cup. 
I know it was the token, I only had a desire to know, if he had given you any Item of it, it is the token in earnest.  Dull. 
Yes in Earnest.  Tri 
I have told the Crowns, but this is a good on?  Dull. 
Current upon my life.  Cup. 
'tis well; Friend what is thy name?  Dull. 
Dullman, And your servant Sir.  Cup. 
Well! Take this for thy pains, and be Dullman still— Nay take it I say. Bring me now Rosabella hither, and a Flagon of the most generous Wine; Sirrah do you hear, bring also some Sack with you.  Tri. 
What would you have Sir?  Cup. 
Sack you Villain, according to the English Fashion; Sack I say, welcome Signior.  Dull. 
Indeed Sir it is needless, est postremum quod feci; it is the last thing I did.  Cup. 
Nay what do you mean, mend your draught I pray, you shall you have a cup of Sack too, my friend Dullman.  Dull. 
Est valde curtesius homo. A Noble, and a courteous Gentleman I'll warrant him.  Cup. 
Desire your Master for my sake to love my Rosabella well, I brought her up for my own Daughter; my heart doth earn within me to think of her departure from me, but I am confident he will be very tender over her.  Dull. 
You may assure yourself, she shall receive all the courtesies that the customs and Country of England can afford her; my Master will give her a good Jointure, I know it well, for I have engrossed it, but I pray deliver me the counterpane of my Master's Indenture.  Cup. 
On my troth I left it with my Notary, but presently I will either bring it, or send it to you.  Dull. 
Then give me an acquittance.  Cup. 
Do you hear (sirrah) Bring hither some more Wine and Sack, where is this Knave now?  Dull. 
Veni presenter post me quaeso; I pray you Sir make haste after me.  Cup. 
I will Dullman.   

The Third SCENE of the Third ACT.  
The ARGUMENT:  
Polla is introduced weeping and disguised, and is delivered to Dullman for Rosabella; Dullman is dismissed full of wine and sack.  Polla, Trico, Cupes, Dullman. Tri. 
DO you understand me Polla?  Pol. 
Is it not possible for you to hold your tongue?  Tri. 
But be sure you have tears enough in store.  Pol. 
No more; for on my faith,— if you provoke me!  Tri. 
You muzzle me to a silence.  Cup. 
Look! Here he comes.  Dull. 
Deliver her unto me.  Cup. 
Rosabella my dear x, nay rather my Daughter, I here deliver thee to this Man, that he may conduct thee to thy Husband. And must thou now leave me my Dear? I cannot forbear from Tears for my own part; but do not afflict your self, if you love me.  Pol. 
My Uncle, nay rather my Father; although I shall be Married to another, and though it be never so well with me, yet to leave you—  Cup. 
You do increase my Tears.  Tri 
Oh Dullman, Maudlin Dullman, who can refrain from weeping?  Dull. 
Not I truly.  Tri. 
No more can I Dullman. Well— you have got a Mistress of a sweet disposition.  Dull. 
Certe videtur tenera & amen pecia, quanquam maskata est; She seems indeed to be a very loving and tender piece although she is masked.  Tri 
It is the custom altogether for Virgins in these Countries.  Dull. 
And a good custom it is.  Cup. 
But on better considerations, we should rather rejoice then weep to see her well Married.  Dull. 
And you say true by the Mass.  Cup. 
Why let us be merry then.  Dull. 
You speak very well Sir.  Cup. 
Shall us laugh?  Dull. 
If you please.  Cup. 
Shall us drink?  Dull. 
If you please.  Cup. 
Wine?  Dull. 
If you please.  Cup. 
And good Sack too, Signior Dullman.  Dull. 
Even what you please Sir; I am prepared to pledge you.  Cup. 
Well then— Give us some Sack! Here is to you Signior Dullman.  Dull. 
I thank you Sir.  Cup. 
Some more Sack, Fill it up according to the English Fashion, Fill up the Glass I say; 'Tis sweet Sack, my sweet Signior.  Dull. 
So, so; Ad te Magister contra es dispositus, Sir unto you against you are disposed.  Cup. 
I thank you, you do but sip; drink deeper, where's this Varlet? some more Sack for my Friend.  Dull. 
I have done very well Sir, I must now take my leave of you.  Cup. 
God, buy good Signior, Good, buy, sweet x; I shall long to hear how you thrive in the world.  Pol. 
God, buy, God, buy.  Dull. 
God be with you Master Mendoza.  Tri. 
But my dear Signior, take this one Glass before you go.  Dull. 
And with much thankfulness; I will drink your health in England for this.  Tri. 
Farewell.  Dull. 
Farewell, Quam curtesii; How courteous are these Men of Bordeaux.   

The Fourth SCENE of the Third ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
In this Scene Cupes withdraws himself to put on such clothes as he may be taken for Dullman himself, and speaks broken English, such as he learned in England when he was under-Butler in the Inns of Court.  Cupes, Trico. Cup. 
TAdepole, Farewell.  Tri. 
Farewell, Sacksop, Farewell.  Cup. 
He knows not of what cup he drinks; intemperance hath often disgraced the high achievements of the English in their wares.  Tri. 
More Sack, more Sack, you Rascal! How sweet it is; Give me leave to kiss thee my mingle?  Cup. 
No more of these reiterations, I will now go, and put on other clothes, and counterfeit myself to be Dullman.  Tri. 
O, Sack for Dullman, you know the sign.  Cup. 
If I do not soundly twinge him by the Nose let me—  Tri. 
I will take the Crowns along with me, and this writing.  Cup. 
Writing! Indenture, Trico, I remember that word, and many more ever since I was an Underbutler in London, I have many of the Lawyer's phrases still by heart.  Tri. 
I am confident, the Pander Torcol doth not know Dullman very well.  Cup. 
And me much less.  Tri. 
Why, if you are taken, you can tell a handsome lie for yourself.  Cup. 
I have learned that out of the books of the Jesuits, and will give place to none but Belzebub Cydonius.  Tri. 
My proteus, we loose ourselves in vain discourse; I will immediately address myself to Torcol, and pretend I come with Counsels and Conditions very advantageous to him; and as you see occasion, do you intervene?  Cup. 
I will attend the Scene with my best diligence.  Tri. 
We being thus united shall circumvent him with the greater dexterity of deceit.  Cup. 
I go to attire myself.  Tri. 
And I to Torcol, I am afraid he is not at home. Tick, tock, Tick, tock, he knocks at the door.   

The Fifth SCENE of the Third ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Trico endeavoureth to circumvent the pandar Torcol who will give no ear unto him, as knowing very well what Trico is; at the last Trico seems to be angry, and doth curse him.  Torcol, Trico. Tor. 
I am a Prophet; my mind gave me that Trico was here, and here I find him.  Tri. 
Signior I love your Maid Surda, I love her most entirely.  Tor. 
You love Surda, Go, go, I am now awake.  Tri. 
But now Sir I come unto you on business of importance which deeply doth concern you.  Tor. 
O Signior you cannot deceive me Signior.  Tri. 
I deceive you.  Tor. 
You spoke it this morning.  Tri. 
I spoke it but in Jest.  Tor. 
But I in earnest I will be careful of you, go about your business, go when I bid you.  Tri. 
I have but three words to say unto you, hear me I pray you.  Tor. 
I can hear nothing, especially of Rosabella.  Tri. 
What hurt did I ever do you?  Tor. 
Nay then? What good did you ever do me; when I see you, I see Damage and the face of Destruction.  Tri. 
You will believe me by and by, I do assure myself.  Tor. 
Indeed, I shall not.  Tri. 
I come now unto you with a gallant condition.  Tor. 
What have you any gold or silver for me.  Tri. 
Ready coined Signior.  Tor. 
Farewell.  Tri. 
Stay a little! after Antonio understood that Rosabella was to be given to Ignoramus, being scarce master of himself, he laid throughout the whole City for money, at the last he borrowed of a Friend a Cabinet full of Gold and Jewels.  Tor. 
A mere invention.  Tri. 
He will mortgage it unto you.  Tor. 
Trico, what do you make of me? do you think I do not know for what you come?  Tri. 
Do you think, I come to cousin you!  Tor. 
O Trico, you who have Gold, and Jewels, and yet have no moneys; as much Money as a man hath in his Chest, so much reputation he hath.  Tri. 
What! I come to deceive you Signior;  Tor. 
If you could I believe you would.  Tri. 
Six or seven of the chiefest Merchants in this City shall pass their words for me.  Tor. 
It is all one; your tricks shall not deceive me Trico, and to be short with you, I must tell you that Rosabella is married to Ignoramus.  Tri. 
O Man of Men; it is now coming out—  Tor. 
What?  Tri. 
Thou wicked man, thou sink of all Vices.  Tor. 
You prevail nothing: I pray leave me?  Tri. 
Why what's the matter with you?  Tor. 
I pray be gone.  Tri. 
Signior.  Tor. 
It is in vain Signior.  Tri. 
Thou monstrous piece of crookedness.  Tor. 
Now rail at me.  Tri. 
And if I be not even with you.  Tor. 
What? do you threaten me?  Tri. 
M. be. M. be.   

The Sixth SCENE of the Third ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Cupes in the habit of an Inkman pretends himself to be Dullman, and Torcol both by his habit and his language, doth conocive him to be the servant of Ignoramus. Trico endeavours to take him off from Torcol, that so he might the less suspect the contrivance of the plot; but Cupes having delivered the money, and the Indenture unto Torcol, and given him the private token which was agreed upon betwixt Torcol and Ignoramus (which was that he should pinch him by the Nose) although Trico did forewarn him for that purpose, he was hired by him, yet he is admitted to Rosabella to take her away; Cupes goeth to observe Ignoramus.  Trico, Cupes, Torcol. Tri. 
THou are very conceitedly attired Dullman in the habit of an Inkman.  Cup. 
I and you see, I have not forgotten to carry my pen in my ear, look you here, come, let us go my little Dullman.  Tri. 
May I speak now with Surda Signior.  Tor. 
I am deaf Signior to that proposition; but what man is that yonder?  Tri. 
He hath the face of a stranger.  Tor. 
I would fain understand what Countryman, & who he is.  Tri. 
I would beseech you Signior that you would understand what more peculiarly belongs unto yourself.  Cup. 
I see a good observation for a Treveller, and I will write it down.  Tor. 
He is some Traveller (as I conjecture) and observeth I know not what myself.  Tri. 
He seems to be a fool. How he gapes, and stares about him, and carrieth his pen in his ear.  Cup. 
But where shall I find him; I am so sorry I have lost my direction.  Tor. 
By his speech and habit he should be the servant of Ignoramus; I think he hath his writing too.  Tri. 
I know not who it is.  Tor. 
Who?  Tri. 
An Englishman living in this City, my Friend's Friend; do you go in and I will accost him.  Tor. 
Trico begins to smell the business, I will now stay.  Cup. 
Hereabouts he said the message was  Tor. 
It is the very same whom I expected, he comes according to my wish.  Tri. 
It is Ignoramus servant, I am undone.  Tor. 
He hath smelled the Game, and lost it.  Tri 
I am undone.  Tor. 
How pale he looks.  Tri. 
You Sir?  Tor. 
Come hither?  Tri. 
Friend a word with you.  Tor. 
By your leave Sir, I believe I am the man you look for.  Tri. 
Sir, I shall give you better satisfaction.  Tor. 
I presume your business is unto me.  Tri. 
Who is it that you look for, ask of me, and I will resolve you.  Tor. 
Nay rather ask me? let him come to me, why do you hinder him?  Cup. 
Which of you can certify me, where is the message of a certain Portugal  Tor. 
A Portugal said you.  Tri. 
I can certify you, it is not here; the portugal's dwell a great way from this place.  Tor. 
Take no notice of what he says, he will deceive you.  Cup. 
Cur me mockatis ita, qui moccat moccabitur, why do you mock me so, he who mocketh shall be mocked again.  Tor. 
Trico, Trico, you cannot be too hard for me; you see this is Ignoramus servant, and fain you would withdraw him from me; I see it plain enough.  Tri. 
I am undone.  Tor. 
Now he is vexed; I am glad with all my heart it was my fortune to be here.  Cup. 
Estis fl●utatores ambo ego ibam viam, you are both flouters, I will be gone.  Tor. 
Come to me Friend, whom do you look for?  Tri. 
Who does he look for? what's that to you? pray go about your business, I am able to answer him.  Cup. 
I look for the Portugal Merchant.  Tor. 
He looks for me.  Tri. 
For you? he does not— Friend.  Tor. 
How gladly would you gloze with him  Tri. 
Follow me, and I will bring you to his house.  Cup. 
What doth this fellow mean?  Tor. 
Ha, ha, he, stay a little.  Tri. 
Follow me I say, and in the way I will give you Wine and Sack, good Sack boy.  Cup. 
What Sack?  Tor. 
Ha, ha, he, Wine, and Sack boy.  Cup. 
By his Physiognomy I perceive, hic est nebulo in grano; this is a Knave in grain.  Tor. 
You may be sure of it.  Tri. 
A venegance on't, you are the man? how do you Sir; by my troth Sir I scarce knew you.  Tor. 
This is excellent.  Cup. 
You know me? do you take me to be a noverint universi?  Tri. 
Did you never know me in England, look on me?  Cup. 
I shall look on a Knave then— Sir I look for such a man as you are with a wry Neck.  Tri. 
He looks not for you Signior, but for such another man as you are, a friend of mine, and I will direct him to his house.  Tor. 
This is very likely, ha, ha, he.  Tri. 
You take this man to be Ignoramus servant, he is no such man Torcol.  Cup. 
Who 〈…〉 I come from my Master Ignoramus, with an Indenture and six hundred Crowns; what do you behind me? why do you kick me? cur joggas, & noddas, why do you jog, and nod, and wink on me so.  Tor. 
Ha, ha, he, Ho, so.  Tri. 
Do I touch you, do I wink, or nod on you, you Ass you.  Cup. 
I am to crafty an Ass for you.  Tri. 
I would speak with you.  Tor. 
Ha, he, Now he is mad, now he gnasheth his Teeth.  Tri. 
You Ignoramus servant? I know you are not, Come— le's go to the Tavern.  Cup. 
With a murrain to you, what have you to do with me? why do you make signs, and wink, and nod your head so?  Tri. 
Do I?  Tor 
All the dumb Rhetoric of your motions will not prevail Trico.  Cup. 
By your Neck and fashion, you should be the man whom I do look for.  Tor. 
Do you know his Name?  Cup. 
It is, it is—  Tri. 
Who is it?—  Tor. 
Now I perceive it is not he, he knows not my name.  Cup. 
But I have it here in the Indenture.  Tri. 
You have— if I had met him a little sooner, how easily he might have been prevented.  Cup. 
I have his name here in the Indenture; it is Rodrigo Torcol.  Tor. 
Right.  Cup. 
Are you the Man?  Tor. 
I am so.  Tri. 
He hath swallowed the bait, hook, and all? but what is your name Friend?  Cup. 
Dullman, at your service Sir, I bring you a message from Ignoramus Sir.  Tor. 
Where is the Gold? where are the Writings?  Cup. 
Here is the Indenture, see your hand seal.  Tor. 
This Indenture made the Nineteenth day of April, betwixt Ambidexter Ignoramus on one side, and Rodrigo Torcol on the other, Hum, Hum, Signed, Delivered, Hum, Hum— Rodrigo Torcol, Hum, it is as you say.  Tri. 
I am undone.  Tor. 
Trico is stark mad now; but what private token have you besides? I would have no man make a mouth at me?  Cup. 
A mouth— No, it is your Nose that I demand; Let your nasute Nose Nasative, come into the Court, and pay Nasal Homage; he tweaks him by the Nose.  Tor. 
Oh gently, gently I pray, oh, oh, oh.  Cup. 
Is not this the token? he drags me by the Nose about the stage.  Tor. 
Oh, oh, yes, it is the Token— Oh what do you mean! Oh, no more I pray.  Cup. 
You thought I did not know it.  Tor. 
But I find to the contrary.  Cup. 
'Twas only for a good Memento.  Tri. 
Do you not perceive, you fool, how he mocks you, and leads you about by the Nose like a Bear.  Tor. 
No, he who hath no Nose is led about by the Nose; is it not allotted for every man to have a Nose, I have one Trico.  Tri. 
I see you will be cozened.  Tor. 
Be cozened; you are mistaken, you may see I will not be cozened.  Tri. 
You may remember that I told you this morning.  Tor. 
That you would deceive me, I remember it very well.  Tri. 
You do?  Tor. 
Yes, ha, ha, he.  Tri. 
I do x you at this very instant.  Tor. 
At this instant— sure you don't.  Tri. 
I tell you this man is not Ignoramus servant.  Tor. 
You do not hear me say, he is, do you— Ha, ha, he.  Tri. 
He is a mear Cheat.  Tor. 
Indeed.  Tri. 
And one whom I hired on purpose to deceive you.  Tor. 
Are you sure on't?  Tri. 
Upon my faith I speak the truth.  Tor. 
You do.  Tri. 
Yes, and you have not the greater care, he will take Rosabella from you too.  Tor. 
Ha, ha, he.  Tri. 
This is strange that you will not believe me, when I Swear unto you.  Tor. 
Swear no more— I believe you Trico— I believe you.  Cup. 
This is a good Nose, I will engross it.  Tri. 
Upon my faith, I do x you now, now, at this very instant.  Tor. 
You cousin me upon your faith now?— is not here so much Gold? Are not here the writings? did he not tell me the very private token we did agree upon? how am I deceived Trico;  Tri. 
But take heed it be not Aurum Tholosanum.  Cup. 
Upon my credit it is very good Gold, & all in Rose Nobles  Tor. 
What?— am I cozened now?  Tri. 
Yes, and 'tis I have done it.  Cup. 
What will you stand prating with him all day long; deliver Rosabella to me?  Tor. 
It shall be done immediately.  Cup. 
For I have a great deal of business at home to engross Agreements, Quibbles, Indentures, Pilicocks, and Callimancaes.  Tor. 
But tell me, what was't I pray, that even now you wrote down in your Almanac.  Cup. 
Oh ho, only a traveller's observation; I wrote down in my book, that on the fifteenth of May I saw a Portugal with a wry neck so apparelled, and that he being a cunning Knave would x you; I will put it in print.  Tor. 
Note it well.  Cup. 
But Signior, with Rosabella you ought to give me the Counterpane of my Master's Indenture.  Tor. 
You shall have both as soon as I have told the Gold; let us go in.  Tri. 
Are you going you seed of all wickedness, accursed sacrilegious Caitiff.  Tor. 
I am deceived, Trico, I am deceived.  Tri. 
Trico may be even with you for all this Signior: Remember it?  Tor. 
I will remember it Signior; I am going now to Surda, will you command me any service to her Signior?  Tri. 
M. be— Dor, m. be— he, ha, he, the more caution the cautelous do use, the more they are deceived; but I must now be gone to observe Ignoramus, lest he comes before Cupes leads away Rosabella; Afterwards I will repair to Antonio. That Mole on his Cheek doth extremely please me, with one deceit thus I do Coin another.   

The Seventh SCENE of the Third ACT.  
The ARGUMENT:  
Cupes bringeth Rosabella to his own house, and locketh fast the doors, and hasteth away to the Tavern.  Cup. 
HEre is the Counterpane of my Master Ignoramus his Indenture; ha, ha, he, I have made a pure mouth of him.  Rosab. 
But tell me I pray you in earnest; will you be as good as your word, and bring me to Antonio?  Cup. 
If thou wilt my Girl, I will have thee myself.  Rosa. 
Although clouded under many sorrows and misfortunes, I would have you to know (whosoever you are) that I am not descended of ignoble parentage, And though I am poor, I have yet a dowry, which is modesty, and ingenuous manners.  Cup. 
What do you boast of modesty in a Bawdy house?  Rosab. 
As the beams of the Sun are not defiled on the Dunghill, no more are chaste minds amongst unchaste persons.  Cup. 
Ha, ha, he, women are like to Venice-glasses; keep 'em with all the Care that may be, and lock them up, you cannot keep them from breaking, they are but brittle ware.  Rosab. 
My Father was a personage of Honour, and brought me up accordingly, And this man my Uncle, although a wicked man, yet he hath not violated my Chastity.  Cup. 
But I cannot bring you to Antonio presently.  Rosa. 
Deprive me then of my life, and cut my throat.  Cup. 
I had rather carry you back to Torcol.  Rosab. 
O, do not, I beseech you; For he, kept me of late bound with cords, he now will use me worse; if there be any thing of ingenuity in you, kill me outright, and I shall take it for a Courtesy.  Cup. 
Be of good courage, I spoke all this while but in jest, I will bring you to Antonio presently.  Rosa. 
Mock me not I beseech you.  Cup. 
So God shall help me, I speak the truth unto you he will be at my house presently.  Rosa. 
O Hope unlooked for!  Cup. 
Let us hence lest we be taken; Do you go in there?  Rosa. 
Deal civilly with me! pray you.  Cup. 
I willing good earnest; I will lock the door, and by and by I will return unto you again; I will now to the Tavern, and refresh myself; This day I will dedicate to mirth with wine and good cheer, but I will first change my clothes in the next room.   

The Eight SCENE of the Third ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Ignoramus receiving Polla for Rosabella, beateth Dullman, who runs away; he groweth afterwards outrageous with Polla, who could not abstain from fighting with him, and departing from him, acquaints the whole parish that he is possessed with an evil spirit.  Pecus, Ignoramus, Polla. Pec. 
MMaster, I cannot find Dullman.  Igno. 
No; Facias tuitissimum, & clamerum post eum, Do you hear Sirrah, make a Hue and Cry after him.  Pec. 
I think he is run away.  Igno. 
Cause him to be attached Pecus?  Pec. 
It shall be done Master.  Igno. 
What a misprision, what a Deceit is this? In the Devils Name who art thou?  Polla. 
I am Rosabella, Signior.  Igno. 
Rosa-bella, Rosa Diabla; without doubt thou art some Ribalda that liveth in Tiplandis, & lupanaris.  Poll. 
ay, a Ribald that lives in Tippling houses, and Bawdy houses, I would have you know I am Rosabella, alias bella Rosa, Signior.  Igno. 
You, a sweet Flower? you a Rose? you look like an old Cow, your Face I am sure on't, non concordat cum Recordo.  Poll. 
For all that I am Rosabella, my Signior.  Igno. 
By your face I should swear that you are a Hag, and a Hobgoblin.  Poll. 
You speak such strange hard words Signior, I cannot understand them.  Igno. 
Do you not understand them, I tell you then again you are a Sorceress and an Enchantress.  Poll. 
Ha ha he— Do you call me Witch and Enchantress?  Igno. 
Do you laugh, I will indite you for a Sorcerss as you are, viz. That you Spinster (I shall learn your Name) not having the fear of God before your eyes, but seduced by the Instigation of the Devil, have practised the wicked Arts of the Devil, vocates Witchcraft and Sorcery, in, upon, and against the person of Ambidexter Ignoramus. Ponam te super patriam si vivo, As I live I will put you upon your Country.  Poll. 
What says my Dear?  Igno. 
My Dear— off with your hands— you ride in the air super broomas, on brooms and staves.  Poll. 
My Dear Love— why are you so angry with Rosabella.  Igno. 
O ho, Are you still Rosabella? I am not compos mentis I; in good Faith I think I am bewitched in good earnest, Why do you glote so on me? I feel something within me, I know not what myself. But if I can but first draw blood of her I do not care, I will adventure it; but I dare not do it: But I dare though: Putana de Diabolo.  Poll. 
Forbear a little till I put off my Sandals.  Igno. 
I will scratch thee for a Sorceress as thou art.  Poll. 
What do you threaten me? Nay then have at you, I'll teach you to strike a woman again, you base hen-hearted fellow!  Igno 
Oh so, what vi & armis, & manu forti, some moderate mercy I beseech you, At least so much fair play as leave to rise again.  Poll. 
I will paint your face, you wizard you.  Igno. 
Keep the peace, Keep the peace? O for a supersedeas de non molestando!  Poll. 
Am I not Rosabella now? what say you?  Igno. 
E'en who you please— O Lord, I am maimed, I will to the Office presently and have an appeal for blows and maims.  Poll. 
The devil's in you I think.  Ign. 
Well, well— sum vade brusatus, I am horribly bruised, I will e'en go home, and say my prayers, but you shall repent it, you Sorceress.  Poll. 
Do you Chatter you Monkey? Upon my faith I believe he is possessed with a Devil. He speaks Magic words too; I will be jogging to my own house and desire my Neighbours to have a Care how they keep him Company; but see my door is shut, I did ill, that I took not away the Keys with me, but some body peradventure is within, I will knock, Tic Toc, Tic Toc.   

The Ninth SCENE of the Third ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Polla coming home, and finding the door to be locked, and Rosabella at the window conceiving her to be her Husband's Lemmane, goeth amongst all the Houses of the Victuallers to look him out.  Polla, Rosabella, at the window. Ros. 
WWho is there? what would you have?  Poll. 
Why— This is handsome, is it not? A strange Woman demands of the Mistress of the House who she is, and what she would have? Nay then— who are you? and what have you to do in my House with a mischief to you?  Ros. 
The Master of the House will be here presently himself.  Poll. 
This morning I even read my own Fortune, This is my goodly Husbands, goodly Harlot.  Ros. 
Speak more civilly. I am not I, for that filthy trade of life.  Poll. 
Was this the business that he so suddenly commanded me out of doors to bring this creature in? What will he keep his Whores here before my own eyes? shall I live to endure this?— Thou whore of all whores I shall presently be with thee.  Ros. 
Speak not so ill of me, I am not that creature which you suppose me to be.  Poll. 
What in my own House? was it not enough for him to waste my portion in Taverns, but he must whore it away also?  Ros. 
Oh, woe is me, woe is me! To what a man have I entrusted myself?  Poll. 
What? do you weep you Baggage? but I will make you, and them, and all of you weep, and by and by; O that I could break the doors!  Ros. 
Woe is me— this woman is mad.  Poll. 
I will go over all the Taverns in Bordeaux, but I will have him; Oh that I could find a good handsome Broomstaffe to revenge myself upon him; Oh that these Nails were a little longer. Exit.   

The Tenth SCENE of the Third ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Polla finds Cupes with a Victualler singing a Song of her and laughing at her, she soundly beats them both and the Fiddlers that were in the room; she throws down on the ground the Capons, Pheasants, and much other good cheer, she pours out all the wine, and having got the Key of her House, she throws Rosabella out of doors for a whore, who poor wretch knows not whither to go.  Cupes, the Victualler, Fiddlers, Polla, Rosabella. Cup. 
OH happy Holy day— Things answering my expectation so successively, I have bought much good Cheer, I have hired Fiddlers to make me more merry; But why are they not come yet? O my Priests, these sacrifices you offer, these Wine and Capons are very acceptable to me your God. O you Capons, Pheasants, and Partridges, how do I love and honour you? you are of the Nobility of Birds? how richly, how magnificently are you clothed? how greedily do I wait upon you? as for Ducks and Geese, and such kind of Fowl they are clownish and rustical I care not for them.  Poll. 
I have found him at last. Hay day— what a Banquet hath the Knave prepared for his Whore, I will here obscure myself, and listen a little to him.  Cup. 
O my Beloved fat Friend, my dear Capon, how fairer art thou then my wife Polla?  Polla. 
Say you so?  Cup. 
How willingly do I kiss you? what a sweet kiss is this? much sweeter than the kiss of my wife Polla.  Poll. 
What do you prefer a Capon to me, I shall speedily be with you!  Fidl. 
Sure you have some foul slut to your wife Signior.  Poll. 
And I shall meet with you too.  Cup. 
A foul slut— there is nothing like her; she is a Goblin, a Gorgon; Styx, Scylla, a Hydra, a Harpy, a Monster all over.  Poll. 
What shall I do, I am not able to contain myself!  Victu. 
Cupes, Let us sing that song I pray of your wife Polla.  Cup. 
What? that which I made in the Tavern, the other day?  Vict. 
The very same, Let us have it I pray you.  Poll. 
What have they made a Song of me too? woe is me▪ but— indeed, woe unto them.  Vict. 
Let us sing it.  Cup. 
But what, if she should overhear us?  Vict. 
What if she should?  Cup. 
She is a roaring Lioness, I had rather dwell with winter, or the Northern wind then with her.  Poll. 
You speak truer than you think for, you shall feel me thundering presently about your ears.  Vict. 
Begin I pray.  Cup. 
I will first look if she be not lurking hereabouts to observe us; I tremble when I think on her.  Poll. 
St, I will hide myself that they may not see me.  Cup. 
Here is no body; Now my Minstrels, for a sprightful fit of Mirth? let us have it?  Poll. 
I See! I am become a Song throughout the whole City; but I shall enchant the Chanters by and by.  Cupes and the rest sing. 

May Polla wife to Cupes break  
By some happy fall her neck;  
And may all wives that like her be  
Perish so, as well as she. They all laugh, who, Ha ha he.   Poll. 
Oh for a Thunderbolt to confound them all at once.  Vict. 
Come once more;— May Polla wife to Cupes break etc.  Poll. 
I can forbear no longer, I'll break your neck if I can.  Thwick-thwack. Cup. 
She hath killed me.  Vict. 
What shall become of me? O my head.  Cup. 
Woe is me, O my neck and shoulders.  Fidl. 
I am sore all over.  Poll. 
This is a new Song for you Fiddlers.  Fidl. 
I am undone, she hath broke all my strings, my livelihood is lost, what shall become of me?  Poll. 
Why do not you sing now?  Cup. 
Fiddlers sing Lachrymae?  Poll. 
Do I appear so foul a slut unto you? Hagh.  Fidl. 
Oh me, Oh me. Exeunt Fiddlers.  Poll. 
Must I be sung about Town by such a Kennel of Rascals? Oh that I had a little more breath, How I would be labour them?  Cup. 
If any man should ask me now, in what place of the world I am, I am not able to tell him, I am so confounded with amazement. Will you drink any Wine my Honey?  Poll. 
My Honey, my Gall, will you drink to me, and invite me to Supper with a Company of Whores?  Cu. 
You have thrown away all our good cheer, have you any Imperial missives that you act so uncontroled? if you are a good woman, restore us our Victuals again; what do you spill the Wine too? I am undone— At least spare that;— woe is me, Look on that Flagon yonder, How it vomits forth its purple soul. Kill me Polla, that would be pardonable, but it is unpardonable to kill the Wine.  Poll. 
Now go call your Whore to that Supper she is worthy of.  Cup. 
Upon my life, Wife, she is no Mistress of mine.  Poll. 
Give me the Key, Give it me, I say, I will break open the doors else. Here will I make a way for my fury to enter in.  Cup. 
She is deaf with Rage; I forgot to tell her before hand, that I was to bring Rosabella to my own House.  Poll. 
Whore— Come out of my House— Come out of my House you Whore.  Rosa. 
Woe is me, whither do you throw me?  Poll. 
Into a Bawdy-house, the only place fit for you.  Ros. 
Good woman I am innocent, and you are much mistaken in me, whither you will have me go?  Poll. 
To Bridewell you prostitute.  Ros. 
I had rather you should kill me.  Poll. 
Get you gone you whore you, Get you gone?  Ros. 
Woe is me, I go, I hope unto my Grave.  Cup. 
What have you turned her out of doors? you have undone me then; It is Rosabella, and not any that I make love to.  Poll. 
I shall pluck your fair Rose— you wish my death you Rogue you.  

May Polla wife to Cupes break  
By some happy fall her neck.   Cup. 
O my wife— If you did but know the Cause why I wished your Death, you would not be so angry.  Poll. 
Say you so; what is the Cause?  Cup. 
It is the fashion now for every man to wish his wife dead.  Poll. 
Do you so purge yourself? she beateth him again.  Cup. 
O Lord— O Lord— what do you make account to do, to lay on so unmercifully. A right Megaera.  Poll. 
As you like this first course, I will serve in the second.  Cup. 
Thank you sweet Poll; I do not like the first so well.  Poll. 
I have now a little revenged myself.  Cup. 
A little— say you; If this be your little, what is your Great deal?  Poll. 
I will now step in, and if you follow me not immediately, I shall give you such another entertainment when ever I have you within doors.  Cup. 
What shall I do now; Let me think a little with myself of this brave Supper which I have lost, Pheasants— hum— Partridges— hum— Oh but the Wine— woe is me.   

The Eleventh SCENE of the Third ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Antonio asketh Cupes concerning Rosabella, who being very melancholy for the loss of his good Cheer and Wine, giveth a very imperfect answer to every thing; This being discovered, Antonio goes to seek out his Mistress.  Antonio, Cupes. Anto. 
CVpes but now informed me that Rozabella was safe at his own House, which if it be so, there can be no man more joyful or more happy than myself; but here he is, he looketh sadly on it, I do not like it.  Cup. 
Oh happy you who have my Supper eat!  Anto. 
Cupes.  Cup. 
Who calls?  Anto. 
Is any within?  Cup. 
I would there were, all is thrown out of doors.  Anto. 
What! is all nought?  Cup. 
Here is nothing but destruction, ejection, and miserable confusion.  Anto. 
Woe is me— what hath there been any effusion?  Cup. 
Yes, yes.  Anto. 
What of her blood?  Cup. 
Worse, worse, of blood, gravy and all.  Anto. 
Woe is me.  Cup. 
The flesh and bones, and all, most cruelly dispersed.  Anto. 
O monstrous! How came this to pass?  Cup. 
With hands, and feet, and blows, and boxes.  Anto. 
O my dear Rosabella!  Cup. 
O my wine, O my dear wine!  Anto. 
Without thee I cannot live!  Cup. 
Without thee I cannot drink!  Anto. 
Who hath committed so great a villainy?  Cup. 
My wife Polla.  Anto. 
O wretch— where?  Cup. 
In this very place look you here▪  Anto. 
What is it?  Cup. 
It was wine, But O most unfortunate to say it was!  Anto. 
But I speak of Rosabella!  Cup. 
But I of my wine, and delicate viands.  Anto. 
Away with your wine, and your delicate viands!  Cup. 
Away with your Rosabella and your delicate Loves.  Anto. 
Tell me, you afflicting Knave, where is she now?  Cup. 
I brought her hither, but my wife suspecting her to be my Courtesan, did beat her out of doors.  Anto. 
O Beast! did she not dread so divine a Beauty?  Cup. 
What she that did not dread so divine Canary?  Anto. 
Tell me Villain where is thy wife? I will trounce her!  Cup. 
She will trounce you; touch her not; no nor so much as provoke her if you be wise: She will overcome a hundred Antony's and Cleopatra's also.  Anto. 
Which way did Rosabella go?  Cup. 
This way, but whither she is gone I know not.  Anto. 
Wretch that I am to commit so great a Treasure to a Drunkard, I will go, and find her out myself? but which way shall I turn? which path shall I first tread in? shall I take this way? or that way?   

The Twelfth SCENE of the Third ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Antonio complains of the loss of Rosabella; Rosabella of the loss of Antonio, and Cupes of the loss of his wine & Supper: Antonio goeth to seek Rosabella; Rosabella to seek Antonio, and Cupes to supply himself with moneys whereby to provide another Supper.  Rosabella, Antonio, Cupes. Ros. 
FOrtune is composed of gloss, which when it shines most it is presently broken; I who, but even now, seemed to touch heaven with my finger, how suddenly am I thrown headlong down as it were to Hell; where now shall I find Antonio ● it is uncertain: but certain I am to find, either Death, or him.  Cup. 
With what amazement shall I contemplate on the loss of my Supper? Multa vini virtus animo, multusque rerursat Dentis honos— haerent caponis pectore vultus.  

The generous virtue of the wine I find  
And the tooth's valour running in my mind,  
My eyes still dwell upon the capon's breast.   Anto. 
I wander from street to street, and inquire if they saw a young Lady go that way, in such a habit, and such a hair, and complexion, they tell me that but even now they saw such a one; This way I hope to find her. Exit.  Cup. 
Quam sese ore ferens, quam forti pectore & alis?  
What's this a Foul, O fair, O goodly thing!  
How strong a Breast, how full and large a wing?  Ros. 
What shall I do? I cannot find him for my life; but if it be my happiness once more to see him, I'll never lose him afterwards.  Cup. 
O mihi post nullos perdix memorande sodales!  
O well fed Partridge, that art still to be  
'Bove all thy Fellows to be praised by me.  Ros. 
Heavens grant me the happiness to find him; grant me (I beseech you) the reward of my Chastity? forsake me not you powers above, I will now try this way.  Cup. 
It is sure enough that I am evil, I am so, I confess, I am evil, and this evil is justly come upon me for my Evil. But O 
Dic quid fecerunt optima vina mali.  
What evil hath been done, or meant,  
By Sack so good and Excellent.   Ant. 
Woe is me, I cannot find Her, but if ever again I enjoy the honour of her company, he that shall take her from me shall take my life along with her, I will give myself no rest until I have found her out; Heaven send me good Fortune, I will now down this Lane—  Cup. 
Oh the good Wine that's lost, and the bottles thrown down, and battered.  

Convivae fortaesse tui meruere perdie,  
Sed quid fecerunt optima vina mali.  
The drunken Guests perchance deserved to fall,  
But these so precious Vessels not at all.   
Well I will e'en go to bed, I am afraid I shall not live long.   

The XIII. SCENE of the Third ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Ignoramus being about to send for Torcol, is deterred from it by Cupes Horn, being in a corporal Fear of the Sowgelder.  Ignoramus, Cupes. Igno. 
I Think I was born under the sign of the Cancer, every thing do go so cross and backward.  Cup. 
What are you come back again? I will see if I can put him into his former Frights.  Igno. 
I will have a Mittimus for that Sorceress, and another for that Villain Torman. Torcol but primum parlabo, I will first parley with the knave.  Cup. 
Trin— Tran— he sounds his Horn.  Igno. 
What do I hear? Is he horning it here again? upon my Life it is the Sowgelder, that Riotous knave doth put me into a bodily fear.  Cup. 
Trin— Tran—  Igno. 
At Lucanus ait cornu tibi cura sinistri; have a care of the left Horn saith Lucan— Ignoramus runs away.  Cup. 
Ha, ha, he, he made such haste, he never so much as looked back upon me, He who runs, runs, but he who flies hath wings; I cannot choose but laugh at it, my Wife Polla hath told all her Neighbours, that this Ignoramus is for certain possessed with a Devil; she believes it, and they believe it, from hence (if need be) an excellent occasion will be given of procuring more mischief to him; and because it hath not fallen out so well with Rosabella, I will do my best endeavour to be assistant to Antonio by one way or other, I shall pick up some moneys again, I am confident, but I will now repair unto my Dragonesse.    


The Fourth SCENE of the First ACT.  
The ARGUMENT:  
Antonio at the last finds his Rosabella, they both contrive that, (having now a Mole painted on his right cheek,) he should counterfeit Antonine, and Rosabella should personate Katherine another daughter of Mr. Manlyes which was betrothed to Antonine; and for the better effecting of it, they are to speak English.  Antonio, Rosabella. Anto. 
ANd I my dear Love do make the same promise unto you that nothing but death shall part us.  Rosa. 
I hope it will fall out happily; because we have met one another so unexpectedly; but tell me I pray you, How came you by that Mole on the right side of your Cheek?  Ant. 
You know that at London I have a brother, and that he and I, were Twins.  Rosa. 
His name is Antonine.  Anto. 
I heretofore have told you of it.  Rosa. 
And so like you, that your parents could not know the one from the other.  Anto. 
Right, were it not for a little Mole on the right Cheek of Antonine that did distinguish us.  Rosa. 
I understand you.  Anto. 
The painter therefore, by Tricoes' Council, hath painted this Mole on my Cheek, that the better I may pretend myself to be my brother Anthonine, and to be newly come from London from my mother Dorothy.  Rosa. 
To what Intent is it?  Anto. 
That by this means we may be the more readily received into my Father's House.  Rosa. 
You peradventure may be entertained, but what, in the mean time shall become of me?  Anto. 
You shall be entertained as well as myself; Anthonine hath lately Married Katherine, the other Daughter of Alderman Manly, you are now to be Her, and my Wife Katherine.  Rosa. 
And you to be my Husband Anthonine.  Anto. 
Excellent!  Rosa. 
But did your Father never see that Katherine?  Ant. 
Never, and since my Brother was left at London with my Mother, neither he, nor I did ever see one another.  Ros. 
How came that to pass?  Ant. 
As we came hither, we were taken by war; as already you know; but what it is I would have you to do, would you know?  Ros. 
I understand you.  Anto. 
You can speak English also.  Ros. 
Very well; For at Fess I learned it of an English woman that was my servant, and that I might be the more perfect in it both for my love to you, and to the Nation, have been much accustomed to speak it with a familiar friend of mine an Englishman.  Anto. 
And I because I was born in England do always traffic and keep Company with the English Merchants.  Ros. 
What is it that you desire more of me?  Anto. 
When we meet with my Father we will both of us speak English, and pretend not to know who he is.  Ros. 
Very well.  Ant. 
I have here Letters, as if they were sent from my Mother Dorothy, Trico excellently well hath counterfeited her hand; I would have given you some further Instructions, but see my Father is coming forth. Be you ready to comply in your discourse with me, and to assist me in what you can.  Ros. 
I will.  Ant. 
In the mean time be silent.   

The Second SCENE of the Fourth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
They meet with Theodorus, and ask him of him, who, at last by their speech, the mole, and other signs and tokens is persuaded that they are Anthonine and Katherine; Theodorus tells them that Antonio was that morning embarked for London to bring them both unto Bordeaux to him. They give Letters to Theodorus as sent from their Mother Dorothea.  Theodorus, Antonio, Rosabella. Theo 
I must go unto my Notary. These Law-suits are full of trouble, endless, and easlesse; but who is this? my Son Antonio; he looks like him; but it cannot be he, it is impossible he should return so soon;— Good God— it is he. Antonio! Holla Antonio; He makes no answer; it is not he; but one very like him! It is he undoubtedy. Antonio, Antonio.  Anto. 
What means the old Gentleman?  Theo. 
Hem— He speaks English, and hath a Gentlewoman with him. What are you, young Lady? From when●● come you, I pray? Do you speak English Sir I pray? Do you understand me?  Ros. 
We both understand your language, Sir, but cannot speak it. Do you speak English, Sir, I pray?  Theo. 
I understand it only, Antonio, why do you not answer me? Antonio I say.  Anto. 
Who would you speak withal, Sir?  Theo. 
I would speak with you Disobedient as you are? why do you answer me in English?  Anto. 
Good words Sir!  Ros. 
You are very uncivil Sir to strangers; An old man too, Fie.  Theo. 
Am I indeed deceived? peradventure it is not Antonio but another; he hath another habit, and speaks English too, to neither of which he is accustomed unto, and I am confident cannot well do it, It is some other man certainly▪ but his Face is just the same, and without any more doubt, it is he.  Ant. 
Good Old Father can you direct me the way to the Palace.  Theo. 
Are not you Antonio?  Anto. 
I am not Antonio, though my name be very near it.  Theo. 
Why do you falter with me, do you deny yourself to be Antonio.  Rosab. 
Pray God he be well in his Wits.  Anto. 
Sure he is not well.  Theo. 
Do you think I am out of my Wits? no; Although you go about to make me so.  Anto. 
You call me Antonio, and talk as if you knew me.  Theo. 
Either you are Antonio, or I am out of my wits.  Rosa. 
Prithee let's be gone?  Theo. 
What shall I say, I saw him shipped, and the ship to steer on her course towards London, I am confounded with amazement, and know not what to think.  Anto. 
It is well, he begins now to suspect himself.  Theo. 
I will try him further.  Anto. 
Fare you well Sir.  Theo. 
Pray stay a little! what may I call your name?  Anto. 
You are very inquisitive Sir, but my name is Antonine.  Theo. 
Antonine— what Countryman?  Anto. 
I was born in London, but my parents were of Bordeaux.  Theo. 
Your Father's Name?  Ant. 
Theodorus.  Theo. 
Your Mothers?  Ant. 
Dorothy; but I pray you Sir, why ask you these particulars.  Theo. 
Hath your Mother any other Children?  Ant. 
One more here in Bordeaux my Twin brother; do you know one Theodore here a Merchant in this City?  Theo. 
Do you know him, if you see him?  Anto. 
No indeed Sir, though he be my Father I have not seen him these Fifteen years.  Theo. 
But I shall know whither you be Antonine or not, by a little Mole on your right Cheek, I pray let me see.  Rosa. 
He is a curious Examiner.  Theo. 
I behold it, now I know you to be my son, my Anthonine, come my Son into my Embraces.  Anto. 
What now?  Theo. 
I am your Father Theodorus, before I beheld this Mole upon your cheek, I took you for my Son Antonio who is very like unto you.  Anto. 
You my Father?  Rosa. 
We are now safe.  Theo. 
O my Antonine.  Anto. 
By your pertinent questions Sir I do now believe that you are my Father, pardon I beseech you my former incivilities.  Theo. 
My Antonine; you are very welcome to me, why came not your Mother Dorothy with you? How doth she?  Anto. 
She is well Sir, and remembers her best love unto you by me, and by this Letter.  Theo. 
I will peruse it presently.  Anto. 
You shall there understand the occasion that detains her.  Theo. 
But what Gentlewoman is that I pray you.  Anto. 
My Wife Sir, one of Alderman Manlyes Daughters.  Theo. 
Katherine?  Ant. 
The same Sir.  Theo. 
What, Katherine! my most dear Daughter in Law.  Rosa. 
My dear good Father.  Theo. 
How happily and how wished for, is Katherine come with you? Trust me I cannot but weep for joy.  Anto. 
I pray Sir how doth my Brother?  Theo. 
I sent him this day to London to bring you from thence to Bordeaux.  Ant. 
I am sorry I shall not see myself in him so soon as I hoped.   

The Third SCENE of the Fourth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Trico the plotter of this deceit, coming as it were out of the Country, doth salute him as if he were Antonio. Theodore tells him it is Antonine, and the Gentlewoman with him is Katherine, Trico will not believe it; but affirmeth it is Antonio, and the Gentlewoman with him one of his Sweethearts, and not Katherine. He conceives there is some deceit in it, but at last seems to give some credit to it.  Trico, Theodore, Antonio, Rosabella. Tric. 
I Have underhand here listened, and observed all these passages, I will now appear before my Master, as I came just now sweating from his Country house— I have so toiled this day, so bestirred myself, I am all in a sweat, Fie, Fie, how hot am I?  Theo. 
Why came not my Tenant with you, accordingly as I commanded him?  Tri. 
The heavy Lubber is sick; he hath got (one I know not who it is) to give Physic to him, he will be here to morrow.  Theo. 
That's well.  Tri. 
O Master Antonio God save you, you have made a quick return.  Theo. 
Ha, ha, he, who do you think it is?  Tri. 
Who should it be but your Son Antonio.  Theo. 
It is his Twin-brother Anthonine one that is very like him indeed.  Tri. 
Master, do not mock me? it is Antonio himself I know it.  Theo. 
Hold your peace you fool you.  Tri. 
What Gentlewoman is that?  Ant. 
His Wife Katherine.  Tri. 
His sweetheart, rather than his wife, why do you mock me master? look upon him, and see if he doth not smile himself at the mistake.  Ant. 
What bold companion's that?  Tri. 
O Lord! What language is it which he speaks?  Theo. 
It is English.  Tri. 
He pretends it to be English, 'tis but some Gibberish I believe; but I pray you master tell me plainly, is this your Son Anthonine?  Theo. 
It is so.  Tri. 
Do you speak Truth?  Theo. 
What— do you think I lie!  Tri. 
Not lie; but tell an untruth Master.  Theo. 
Ha, ha, he.  Tri. 
You laugh now, but take heed you repent it not hereafter, I only admonish you master, I do but admonish you; you know I have been at your Country House all this day, lay not hereafter the fault on me.  Theo. 
I will not, do not doubt it.  Tri. 
I pray remember it.  Ant. 
Come Sirrah; you and I must jest a little together.  Tric. 
Pox on this English which he speaks, I like it not.  Theo. 
Ha ha, he; why are you not merry with him?  Ros. 
Good Sir let him alone, he is not worth your anger.  Tri. 
Master, would you have me to tell a lie too?  Theo. 
Trico, come hither.  Tric. 
Let him be gone then.  Theo. 
Hath my Son Antonio a Mole in his Cheek?  Tri. 
No but I have heard that my young Master Anthonine hath.  Theo. 
Look you here.  Tri. 
In troth Master, I begin now to be of your opinion; were it not for that Mole, how like is he to my young Master Antonio?  Theo. 
Do you go presently to Peto the Notary, and tell him that to morrow I will not fail to come unto him.  Tri. 
I go; but I pray master Anthonine, will you be pleased to excuse my rudeness?  Anto. 
Well, be it so.  Theo. 
Daughter-in-Law, I believe you are weary with your long journey.  Rosa. 
A little Sir.  Theo. 
Prithee go in— I will talk here a little with Anthonine concerning the affairs in England.  Rosa. 
At your pleasure Sir.  Theo. 
Do you hear there?— Go before, and show my Daughter where she may refresh and warm herself, I will now read my Wife's Letters— O most welcome letter!  Tri 
O most sweet Deceit! now will I address myself to my Companion Cupes, and give him instructions what is yet to be done; and to prevent all discoveries we will here both of us keep a diligent watch. But woe is me, I see Pyropus the Broker, he is coming this way with all the speed he can.  Ant. 
What shall we do now; here comes the Broker, whose clothes I have upon my back, unless Trico helps me at this dead lift I am utterly undone.   

The Fourth SCENE of the Fourth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
When all things were quiet, Pyropus the Broker cometh to complain of the Brass Ring that was pawned to him for the clothes. Antonio denies himself to be Antonio, and Pyropus seeing his clothes upon his back will not be confuted, insomuch that the whole plot was almost discovered; for Theodorus began to be in doubt himself.  Pyropus, Theodorus, Antonio. Pyro. 
I Have showed the Ring which Antonio gave me for a pawn to the Goldsmith who saith it is but a Brass Ring poorly Guilded over, and the stone in it no better than coloured glass. How handsomely that cunning Knave his servant gulled me? when I said Verily how it sparkles? he presently could speak my words after me, Verily how it sparkles? For a little gain, I then said Verily, but now I swear plainly we deceive and are deceived ourselves; I am afraid I shall lose my clothes and all.  Ant. 
I tremble all over me.  Theo. 
This letter indeed is lovingly, and heartily written.  Ant. 
Father I am weary; let us go in, I pray.  Theo. 
Can you speak French, Anthonine?  Ant. 
A word or two Sir, this Broker doth so trouble me, that truly I do quite forget myself.  Pyr. 
Here is Antonio himself, how opportunely do I meet him?  Theo. 
Let us go in.  Pyr. 
Sir, doth it become a man of your fashion and quality to serve me so?  Theo. 
Another in the same Error ha-ha-he.  Pyr. 
To laugh, is but a little better than to deride.  Theo. 
I am not able to forbear laughter, and that for many causes— pardon me— I am merry to day, and I have great reason so to be.  Ant. 
Another mistake Sir.  Theo. 
Who do you think you speak to?  Pyr. 
To the young man Antonio.  Theo. 
I knew you were in an Error, ha, ha, he.  Ant. 
All is well yet.  Pyr. 
Sir I say that this young Gentleman Antonio pawned unto me a brass Ring for clothes which he had of me.  Ant. 
Sir, this fellow is some Cheater sure?  Theo. 
I am of your mind— I tell thee honest man my Son Antonio is not now in Bordeaux▪ he is gone this day to London.  Ant. 
The more I look upon this fellow, the worse I like him, if you mark him well, Sir he hath a Knaves look.  Theo. 
I know not what to think of him.  Ant. 
Sir, will you give me leave to beat the knave?  Theo. 
Be not too violent?  Pyro. 
He altars now his language, and is all in his English, I know what he goes about.  Theo. 
How often shall I tell you that this is not Antonio?  Pyro. 
Who is it then?  Theo. 
His Brother Anthonine.  Pyro. 
In the morning, he was Anthonio, now he is Anthonine; peradventure before night, he will be Anthoninuline; and so from the diminutives of his Name, there will be a Diminution of my Vestments.  Theo. 
Ha, ha, he, Tell me, Had that Antonio any Mole in his Cheek?  Pyro. 
Not as I observed.  Theo. 
But this hath, Look you here.  Pyro. 
What? am I deceived then? I am confident I am not, He hath the clothes I am sure of it, on his back, which he borrowed of me; there's no addition of any Mole to them.  Ant. 
Sir, He seas, I am a stranger, and thereupon intendeth to abuse me.  Theo. 
What should he do with your clothes?  Pyro. 
He said he would personate some body in them.  Anto. 
Come hither Sirrah, you Broker?  Pyro. 
You would fain cozen me of my clothes in English, but I will make you to restore them to me in French.  Theo. 
He is obstinate concerning his clothes, I know not well what to think of it.  Anto. 
I am undone; my Father begins to suspect something— Sir, It may be Anthonio borrowed some clothes of him.  Theo. 
There is something else in it, whatsoever it is.   

The Fifth SCENE of the Fourth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT:  
To confirm that this young man is Antonine, Cupes comes in the disguise of a Seaman, and demandeth money for his transportation from London unto Bordeaux; he threatens Pyropus, and makes him fly, and worms the old man of twenty Crowns. Theodore goes into his house with his Son. Trico and Cupes devise, and bestir themselves how to fright Ignoramus, whom all thereabouts, by reason of Polla's words, do take to be possessed with the Devil, and do lay their heads together how to conjure the Devil out of him.  Trico, Cupes, Antonio, Theodorus, Pyropus. Tri. 
NOw speak English Cupes,— Now bestir thyself, it is high time; now, or never.  Cup. 
I know what I have to do,— let me alone, I am an English-Mariner, who this day brought Anthonine hither from London; if I do not confute this Broker, never trust Cupes more?  Tric. 
Do it then, and the better to observe you, I will here conceal myself.  Pyro. 
Will you have me bring the Sergeants hither to tear my clothes off your back?  Theo. 
I know not what to think of this.  Cup. 
O Master Antonine— God save you Sir, I come for money Sir, for your passage.  Ant. 
Welcome Mariner.  Cup. 
How doth Mistress Katherine?  Ant. 
She is well within here.  Theo. 
Who is that?  Ant. 
The Master's mate Sir that brought me over.  Theo. 
He is Welcome; did you bring my son from London?  Ant. 
He understands you not Sir, he asks if you brought us from London hither.  Cup. 
Marry did I Sir?  Ant. 
Here is an odd fellow says no.  Cup. 
Doth he in truth?  Ant. 
And says that I am not Antonine.  Cup. 
Very good i'faith.  Ant. 
And that I wear his clothes.  Cup. 
Better and better; but doth he indeed? The Rogue means to cheat me of my hire, shall I beat the slave?  Theo. 
Forbear a little— Hark honest Friend; Here is the Mariner that brought my Son over, what say you now?  Pyro. 
I see well enough what your Design is.  Ant. 
This Fellow will not believe you.  Cup. 
Is he an Infidel, Let me come to the Pagan.  Pyro. 
He threatens me too— what a strange thing is this?  Cup. 
By the faith of a Sailor Sir, there be a hundred Mariners can testify I brought this Gentleman, and Mistress Katherine over in the good Ship, called the Speedwell.  Theo. 
He saith there are a hundred Mariners now at the Key to testify the truth of what he speaks.  Pyro. 
I see you all conspire to abuse me.  Cup. 
Hang him Swabber! doth he grumble? If you love me, let me give him a Salt-Eel, whiles I am in heart— Money Sir for the Passage.  Ant. 
I pray Sir give him his money, I have not enough to pay him.  Theo. 
What doth he demand?  Ant. 
How much would you have?  Cup. 
Six pounds you know, and richly worth it, though I say it, you had as good biscuit and salt-beef.  Theo. 
Do you hear within— Richard, bring hither twenty Crowns.  Pyro. 
What do you tell me of twenty Crowns; I had as leif you had said nothing— Give me my clothes again.  Cup. 
I know he speaks ill of me, I must needs hang him.  Pyro. 
Why do you delay me? I cannot stay.  Theo. 
A little longer—  Cup. 
What? Coney-catches here?  Pyro. 
Doth it go so— well, I will Arrest you all. Exit Pyropus.  Cup. 
Do you mumble still? 'Twas time for you to go isaith— your son Sir, was never sick all the way, marry his Man and his Maid were fain to be set on shore.  Theo. 
I will provide him other servants— Here is your money Friend.  Cup. 
I marry Sir, I understand this well; Here is a brave wind for us, if it will hold, This week I am for London again; will you have any thing to your Mother Master Anthonine?  Theo. 
Command him to remember my love unto your Mother.  Anto. 
Remember my Father's Love, and my Duty.  Cup. 
I will— adieu.  Theo. 
Come, let us now go in my Son.  Anto. 
My Cupes you have saved me.  Cup. 
Be gone then, lest we be taken here. Exeunt Theo. Ant.  Tric. 
O my most dear Decoy, you have now throughly satisfied my Father Theodorus.  Cup. 
Yes Trico, and got some good dry silver to boot; good English, very good English; we now will have another Supper, but Polla shall not cook it.  Tric. 
But what if Ignoramus should come?  Cup. 
Ignoramus I know will come, and trouble us, but I have found a way to make yet more sport with him, than heretofore have done.  Tric. 
Prithee what is it?  Cup. 
Why, what by his own words, and what by Polla's, it is rumoured here, round about, that he is possessed with a Devil.  Tric. 
And we must conjure the Devil out of him.  Cup. 
Right, and so I have told Polla before hand.  Tric. 
What are you friends with her again?  Cup. 
Great Friends, and she hath promised to assist me in it, but what shall we do with Torcol, if he should interrupt us.  Tric. 
Let me alone for that; But who shall conjure the Devil out of Ignoramus?  Cup. 
Who should do it but myself and he who in good time cometh here according to my wish, my Brother Cola, an excellent Boon-Companion, he is come now to have me with him to the Tavern to sip only a Gallon or two of Wine together; I will have him to be my Coadjutor above all men in the World.   

The Sixth SCENE of the Fourth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Trico and Cupes do treat with Cola a Monk, and the Pot-companion of Cupes for the conjuring the Devil out of Ignoramus, and for the bringing of him afterwards into a Monastery. Cupes and Cola go to prepare themselves to put the Design into Execution.  Cola, Cupes, Trico. Col. 
HA, ha, he, Here is my dear Companion Cupes.  Cup. 
I am so Cola?  Col. 
Just now I have won at Dice all the Books, and (look here) the Hood of one of my Brethren. He swears now like a Tinker, and curseth me to the Devil; yet for all that Cupes, I would have you sell them outright & speedily to supply ourselves with moneys for a good Supper, I am weary of eating of Porridge.  Cup. 
O my dear Confessor!  Col. 
O my more dear Confessor!  Cup. 
My pure spiritual Father—  Col. 
My Mundan Carnal Brother—  Cup. 
Now for a Cup of brisk wine.  Col. 
One Cup, nay let's have Nine.  Cup. 
Oh my dear ghostly Father.  Col. 
'Twill make your tongue to stammer.  Cup. 
But my Brow smooth and cheerly.  Col. 
O my delicious Brother, come let us laugh, and Embrace. Hang sorrow!  Cup. 
I must now crave your assistance.  Col. 
In what Cupes?  Cup. 
We must conjure the Devil out of Ignoramus, the Englishman.  Col. 
What! is he possessed with a Devil?  Cup. 
I a manner, if you will do it, I will tell you the whole story of it.  Cola. 
I will do it most willingly, for although he hath not a Goblin in his belly, I shall raise unto myself a high same thereby, as others have done before me, what will they say? our Famous brother Cola, our holy brother Cola doth drive out devils ha, ha, he.  Tric. 
Look, There is a Hood, there is a Coat for thee, How opportunely it comes?  Col. 
Let it be sold.  Cup. 
No, not as yet; for your Brother Cupes also will drive out Devils, with this hood I will attire myself in the Exercism when I am to be an assistant to you.  Col. 
It will do very well: Ha, ha, he, very well, I will put on with it a most dreadful countenance.  Tri. 
After the Devil is cast out of him, procure him to be brought to your Monastery where the other Friars may detayn him also with their Exercisms.  Col. 
It shall be done, after that my dear brother we will wash our own Tongues.  Cup. 
Not with holy Water, but with blessed Wine.  Col. 
Ha, ha, he, we will surely Sup at the sign of the spinning. Cat, O quill y a de bon vin la, O what Gallant Wine is there! hei, hei, and there we will sell these trinkets.  Cup. 
What! the old Postillers are good for nothing compared to us, Friar Menot and Friar Maliard are but Dunces compared unto us, ridiculous Dunces.  Tri. 
Make hast I pray, and attire yourself.  Cup. 
Brother Cola, do you now go to Saint Severins, and conduct hither the Solemnity for the Exorcism; as soon as ever I have made myself ready, I will meet you in yonder street.  Col. 
I go, and be you sure you say nothing to any man till I return, but be a faithful Achates.   

The Seventh SCENE of the Fourth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT:  
Ignoramus runneth after Dullman to take him, and bitterly threatens him being taken. Trico goes to acquaint Antonio with these passages, Dullman affirmeth to Ignoramus that he delivered the same Rosabella unto him which Torcol gave him, Ignoramus doth relate unto him in what danger he was amongst the Sowgelder's.  Ignoramus, Trico, Dullman. Igno. 
SToppa Dullman, Stoppa Felonem? stop the Thief Dullman, stop the Felon Dullman, stop him stop him. Exit Dullman  Tri. 
I will make haste unto Antonio, and thoroughly inform him of every thing, and then as closely as I can I will convey myself to Cupes. Exit  Igno. 
Stoppa Dullman, stoppa? stop that Rogue Dullman, stop him: Ah Vagabond Felon; Habeo te per aures jam, I have you now Sirrah by the Ears, budge not.  Dull. 
I pray Good Master!  Igno. 
Ah Fugitive, putabas quod non possent gignere te iterum, you thought I could not get you again you Rogue you, but I would have found you out sieras super faciem terrae▪ If you were upon the Face of the Earth Sirrah; and therefore why did you r●in for it?  Dull. 
I ran from you Sir because you were in tam peltant a cholera in such a pelting chafe Sir, for Rosabella that you would not hear me.  Igno. 
Bonus annus do te A good year on thee? Gentlemen where do you think I found him: upon my Faith he was got into the common place jaciendum glob●s vulgo vocati a bowling Alley, where he played at unlawful Games against the Statute, and there I know it was that sirrah lus●●t● viam meas coronas you played away my Crowns you knave you.  Dull. 
Videbam super tantum, I only looked on.  Igno. 
Oh you are a pure Supervisor, you have been my Clerk now these twenty years, did you ever see me play at Bowls?  Dull. 
Never I  Igno. 
Non, Non ego warrantizabo; no, no, I will warrant you; what are you turned a Gamester, gigne tibi aliam deskam, non scribes plus ad deskam meam; get thee another Desk, for thou shalt not write on my Desk any more.  Dull. 
Master Si tu ponis me viam a te, sum disfactus ut Ostera, if you put me away from you, I am undone as an Oyster.  Ign. 
Wherefore then sirrah did you not bring Rosabella to me?  Dull. 
I brought unto you that Rosabella which Torcol delivered to me.  Igno. 
Funis de to? vis me contrarotulare adhuc. A rope on you— what will you still control me, had he a crooked Neck?  Dull. 
I by my Faith had he, and they did so weep at her departure, that they made me weep also.  Igno. 
Es magnus vitulus, vocatus a great Calf.  Dullm. 
And they gave me Wine and Sack also!  Ignora. 
Wine and Sack!— There it is— I have now found it out, you are a very Coxcomb; will you undo your Master pro una pecia de saccharo for a piece of Sack, Dullman?  Dull. 
He gave me also a piece of Gold.  Igno. 
Where is it? Give it me?  Dull. 
Master, it is mine now.  Igno. 
Es cognoscens latr●, you are a cunning Thief; Sirrah where is my Counterpane?  Dull. 
He said, that he would presently bring it after me.  Igno. 
He said so? Are you such a Lob-cock? you are a true Dullman.  Dull. 
I indeed Master.  Igno. 
Hanga, Hanga, putabam quod Musaeus erat major asinus quam tu, sed tu es major asinus quam Vniversitans: Hang you, Hang you, I thought Musaeus had been a greater Ass than you, but now I find you are a greater Ass than an Universitant!  Dull. 
Spero non ita, I hope not so Master.  Igno. 
There is not a greater plague in the world then to have bad servants; I have sent Pecus to Torcol for Rosabella, and he is not come neither, I believe that he is run away also.  Dull. 
Master, pardon but this fault, & pugnabo tanquam Diabolus pro te, si venerint Geldrii, And I will fight like a Devil for you if the Sowgelder's come again.  Igno. 
Ph— you fight— I will fight myself now, let them come and they dare; sum bene appunctus, I hope I am well appointed for them, see if I am not.  Dull. 
But master, Non est riota portare tres dagarios? Is it not a riot master to carry three Daggers?  Igno. 
Not see defendendo Dullman; If I kill them, let them take heed of me another time; for whatsoever I do se defendendo, I do it by order of Law.  Dull. 
Master, I have copied this; see here it is.  Igno. 
Give it me, and I will copy you out another.   

The Eighth SCENE of the Fourth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Ignoramus having sent Pecus to Torcol for the true Rosabella, Torcol suspecting him to be a Messenger employed by Trico doth cast him into prison. Torcol comes afterwards to Ignoramus and Dullman, who perceive themselves to be cheated. Ignoramus threateneth Torcol for his Crowns, and for the false Imprisonment of his servant Pecus, and they go both of them to Theodorus to find out the Impostors.  Torcol, Ignoramus, Dullman. 
I Have served Trico's Sycop 〈◊〉 very handsomely, who came in by a back way just now to circumvent me— who are you? Pecus the servant of Ignoramus— what would you have— my Master hath sent me to you for the true Rosabella— Ha, ha, he, into prison therefore I have cast this Pecus the cunning knave of Trico. What? doth Trico think to cheat a Portugal?  Igno. 
Take this, you Ass you, he gives Dullman a Box in the Ear) you always write false Latin, if you cannot write true Latin as I do, cannot you Abbreviate the words by the middle, cannot you learn scribere cum dash● you blockhead you? cannot you write with a dash, as others do, and so you shall make, no error in the Latin, nor error in the Law.  Dull. 
It is a good Rule.  Tor. 
O signior Ignoramo comesta vestra merced.  Ign. 
Come esta Villano in grano, how fares the Villain in Grain, the notorious common pandar; nay I will compliment with you too, if you have a mind to compliment.  Tor. 
Ha, ha, he, my merry and most conceited Kinsman, how fares your Lady Rosabella, Ha, ha, he.  Igno. 
Num me etiam moccas, What and do you mock me too? at habebo aures tuas si pileus tuus sit de lana▪ I will have your ears for it you Villain you, if your cap be made of wool.  Torc. 
Have you yet filled yourself with the love, and with the enjoyment of your fair Rosabella, Ha, ha, he.  Ign. 
Do you laugh at me? the Devil break your crooked neck; Putas hoc esse rem ridentem? do you think this is a laughing matter?  Tor. 
How long shall we jest one with one another, come Ha, ha, he.  Igno. 
Are you laughing again? Laugh on: But if I do not make you howl at the Bar like an Owl—  Torc. 
You are merry with me, and I am glad of it, Ha, ha, he; But tell me I pray you, are you in earnest, or in jest?  Igno. 
Do you think it is a Jest to send me an old Hag for Rosabella.  Tor. 
I understand you not, but wonder what you mean.  Igno. 
Do you wonder?  Tor. 
Your servant Dullman brought me the Indenture, and six hundred Crowns, he gave me also the private token, I therefore delivered Rosabella to him.  Igno. 
Say you so? Veni tu huc, Bonus pro nihil? You good for nothing come hither do you hear what he says?  Dull. 
I do hear.  Tor. 
Did I deliver any ill favoured Woman to you?  Dull. 
He that I delivered the money to, he delivered her unto me.  Tor. 
Did I deliver her to you?  Dull. 
I know not, but it was such another Torcol.  Igno. 
Hold your peace you Beast you; and do you hold your peace Torcol? Audi chargeam, Listen to your charge; and answer to that only which I shall demand of you, was this he?  Dull. 
It was indeed.  Igno. 
Peace, Sirrah peace, Ha? Is this he who?—  Tor. 
It was not I by Heaven.  Igno. 
What a Devil? cannot you hold your peace? answer me when I speak to you.  Dull. 
Master—  Igno. 
Will you still interrupt me,— Si te capio in manum, If I take you in hand Sirrah I shall— but is this the man that gave you the counterfeit Woman?  Dull. 
That Torcol who gave the Woman unto me was upon better observation, not such a Torcol.  Igno. 
Now do you speak; did you deliver Rosabella to him?  Tor. 
He who I gave her too was not such a Dullman.  Igno. 
To whom therefore did you deliver her, I will know the truth.  Tor. 
To some other who in your name did demand her.  Igno. 
Now do you answer, what manner of man was he who had my Verses?  Dull. 
He was a lean, a pitiful lean spare fellow, and he had a a little black beard.  Tor. 
Black?  Dull. 
Yes a black Beard.  Tor. 
Woe is me!  Dull. 
And he had another kind of a crooked Neck.  Igno. 
How did he name himself?  Dull. 
Mendoza.  Igno. 
Have you such a servant, and of that Name? why answer you not? have you such a servant?  Tor. 
No, no, I have not, It is the deceitful Trico that hath put these tricks upon me.  Igno. 
You shall therefore forfeit the Thousand Crowns; give 'em me, give 'em me, give 'em I say, why laugh you not now? why do you not answer now? what not one word? have you a mind to be pressed to death.  Tor. 
Grief ties my Tongue.  Igno. 
You may have for it thou A quare impedit, give me my Crowns? give 'em me for I will have them.  Tor. 
O Signior mio multo honorifico, bazo las manus, I kiss your hands my much honoured signior.  Igno. 
What do you think to pay me with a bazo las manus pay me in good and lawful money, pay me I say?  Tor. 
What shall become of me this is the second time I have been shipwracked Woe is me, Woe is me!  Igno. 
Did not I tell you before, that I would make you hoop like an Owl, I will make you hoop and screech too.  Tor. 
Mercy— my Noble Cavalier.  Igno. 
None at all my notable Villain, my notable Rascal.  Tor. 
Upon my Faith I am not able to pay you.  Igno. 
Will you have me make a distress upon your goods, I will recover my money by Law si tunica tua est super dorsum tuum, If you have a coat upon your back.  Tor. 
I am afraid to be brought into the Courts of Judicature, Signior: I will tell you what is your wiser course; because a knave hath deceived us two honest men, we two honest men will go and soundly cudgel that knave.  Igno. 
Go yourself, if you will, he hath not deceived me but you; I will tell you debet surgere per tempus qui decipit me. He ought to rise betimes that deceiveth Ignoramus.  Tor. 
But it doth most of all afflict me that he hath cheated me, being a Portugal. Oh Admiral villain. Signior illustrissimo do beseech you to pardon me.  Igno. 
No pardon Torcol, you have forfeited your obligation, causa patet.  Tor. 
Did you send a servant to me, I pray you, whose name is Pecus.  Igno. 
Yes— where is he?  Tor. 
Pardon me, I have sent him to prison because I conceived him to be Tricoes' Sycophant.  Igno. 
Hay day, what he in the Jail too? Actio pro falso imprisonamento, nisi firko tuum curvum collum pro hoc, if I Firk not your crooked Neck for't—  Tor. 
If you please let us both go to Antonio who loveth Rosabella most entirely, we will try first if we can get any thing from them by fair means, if not we will follow them close, at law, at law Signior.  Igno. 
At law, do not you talk so much of the law, I will have you both in law, you shall have law enough I'll warrant you.  Tor. 
But first of all I will release Pecus; do you hear within there— Here take this Ring, and command that Pecus be brought to my house.  Igno. 
I will have yourself in this place ere it be long; Dullman do you go with him and see him at large, but first cape advisamentum, Dullman take my advisement with you.   

The Ninth SCENE of the Fourth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Rosabella sitting at Theodorus door, doth see her Uncle and Ignoramus, who both of them do challenge her for Rosabella but she in the English Tongue doth affirm herself to be Katherine, they contradict her and begin to grow very hot upon it, until Antonio coming in doth acquaint Theodorus that they are the two persons possessed with the Devil, of whom there is such a Rumour over all the City.  Theodorus, Rosabella, Ignoramus. Torcoll, Antonio, Dullman. Theo. 
DAughter after you have a little refreshed yourself, it will not be unpleasant to you to sit here in the open Air, and do so I pray you.  Rosa. 
I thank you Sir. Ignoramus whispers to Dullman.  Igno. 
Do as I bid you, and think on nothing else.  Exit Dullman. Tor. 
Here is the house Signior, I will knock at the door Tuk, Tock.  Theo. 
Who knocks at the Door?  Rosa. 
Here is Ignoramus, and my Uncle, I am undone for ever.  Theo. 
What would you have?  Igno. 
I know not, what would you have?  Theo. 
Who are you?  Igno. 
Ask him there if you will.  Tor. 
It is the English Lawyer, Signior, my most excellent Signior, Signior de titulo, Signior de—  Theo. 
Are you not made moist with Wine?  Igno. 
Mad-moyst; mad? bear witness? an Action of Defamation.  Theo. 
What a blattering do you keep?  Igno. 
A blattering.  Tor. 
Pray hold your peace.  Theo. 
They say this English man is possessed with a Devil, I do now believe it myself.  Tor. 
Signior I understand that this day Antonio hath brought my Cousin Rosabella into your house.  Theo. 
It is no such thing.  Rosa. 
Oh that I now were Dead!  Igno. 
Nay— and if you make any concealment, I will.  Tor. 
Nay gently and clemently I pray—  Igno. 
Clemently? what have I to do with the Clementines.  Tor. 
Is not your Son Antonio within Signior?  Theo. 
No he is gone to London, but his brother Anthonine, his Twin-brother is this day come to me with his wife Katherine.  Tor. 
I now smell out the deceit, I pray Sir make us so happy as to see that Lady Katherine.  Rosa. 
I am undone, I am undone.  Theo. 
You are a couple of merry men; why would you see her?  Igno. 
Cause her to come at her and your peril.  Theo. 
Do you know these men daughter Katherine?  Rosa. 
Who I? Indeed Sir I know them not.  Torc. 
Por mi sancti— This is my Cousin Rosabella.  Ign. 
Benedicite— This is my Covert Baron, my own Rosabella.  Theo. 
What Impostures are these?  Rosa. 
Being now come from London Sir, How should I know them?  Torc. 
She speaks English now, I know a little of it, having been sometimes heretofore at London in the way of merchandise. Are not you my Kinswoman Rosabella?  Rosa. 
Do I look like one of your kindred?  Igno. 
Nay I can speak English too; what my own Countrywoman little pigs nigh, my little Doves egg, thou knowest me I am sure.  Theo. 
This is a mystery; I would fain understand the meaning of it, Anthonine.  Tor. 
Why, do you not know your Uncle Torcol, Rosabella?  Ros. 
The man in the Moon as well.  Igno. 
I will give thee a good fair Jointure isaith.  Ros. 
I pray Sir, be wise if you can.  Igno. 
Wise? O me, I am wise for you, and foolish for you, dear Rosabella: pity? pity? some pity to a bursting spirit; be not so fair and cruel.  Theo. 
Anthonine come forth— I would fain know the reason of this disturbance.  Igno. 
I see yet I am blind; I freeze, and yet I burn in love; I live not, but I die; I live to love, to love to live, and live not but in loving; nay, I can sing and speak songs and sonnets with the best of them.  Anto. 
Sir, This is the possessed man you heard of.  Theo. 
Whatsoever it is, there's something in it; All this cannot be for nothing.  Torc. 
Let me not live, if he hath not stolen my Rosabella from me.  Anto. 
O perjured—  Theo. 
What Deceit can be in this? There is certainly something in it extraordinary.  Igno. 
Shine on me bright Sun; The Sun is no sun, Rosabella, you are the Sun, and the Moon, and the Stars; And sweeter far than is a Civet-cat.  Theo. 
I would speak a few words in private with you by myself.  Igno. 
Bound I am in Frank,— A pledge, a mortgage to thee Rosabella, and yet I am in free soccage, ye goodly tressed Nymphs, and simpering Sirens; O the crimson and the white, you Roses, Lilies and double Violets, spring of enameled flowers, and diapered meadows, green shady groves, and chirping birds, the warbling streams, and whistling winds, and dainty Rosabella; Dixi— Ha sweet Rose, One habeas Corpus.  Anto. 
Hold off Coxcomb, or I shall set you further off.  Igno. 
What are you there too? sum appunctus pro te jam, I am now well appointed for you. Hic me volvit geldare hodie; Too day you would have gelded me.  Rosa. 
What will become of me?  Anto. 
If the Conjurers stay any longer we shall be all undone.   

The Tenth SCENE of the Fourth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Cupes and Cola having put on the Monk's hoods, Polla declares unto them, that Torcol and Ignoramus are possessed with two Devils, Theodorus believes it, and departeth with Antonio and Rosabella to his own house. Trico shuneth Pyropus. They lay hands on Ignoramus, as if they were Exorcists. Torcol runs away.  Theodore, Antonio, Torcol, Ignoramus, Trico, Cupes, Cola, Polla, Rosabella. Col. 
BRother Cupes— How well that Hood becomes thee▪ Ha, ha, he.  Tric. 
Make haste, if you love me.  Col. 
After the Exorcism is over; we will have a brave Supper.  Tric. 
Pox on you both, Are you talking of a Supper, when mischief and Vengeance are on foot, and threaten suddenly to overtake us?  Cup. 
Let us go.  Tric. 
In the mean time I will bear a watchful eye, and observe what Pyropus is doing.  Torc. 
I tell you the Truth indeed, Signior.  Theo. 
Although it is hardly credible, yet I will consider of it.  Poll. 
Come hither Holy men, Here is that poor wretch I told you of.  Igno. 
What are you come again. Trust me I will have you coram nobis.  Poll. 
Holy Friars; This is the man possessed with the Devil; This other man is his Companion.  Torc. 
What is the business with these Friars?  Igno. 
Torcol; If there be a Sorceress upon the face of the Earth this is one; sum in quandario, I am in a great Quandary whether I shall stay or not.  Torc. 
Nay stay what ever become on't.  Theo. 
What is the business I pray, what are you about to do good Friar?  Col. 
A work of Charity which some good Christians have desired us.  Cup. 
This man is possessed with a Devil. Take heed of him.  Theo. 
I will be gone— I profess unto you; I did before suspect as much.  Anto. 
La you now, Sir, I told you so.  Theo. 
I professed unto you this Torcol had almost deluded me.  Torc. 
What strange project is this? What do these Friare here?  Col. 
Hold your peace.  Cup. 
Or we will,— If you disturb us in the Exorcism.  Col. 
We will begin first with Holy water.  Igno. 
In the Devil's Name, why do you so often sprinkle your water in my face?  Poll. 
Woe is me, He invokes the Devil.  Cup. 
This is the true Touchstone, The Devil cannot endure Holy water.  Theo. 
Holy Friars proceed, And do what belongs unto you; he is wonderfully vexed with the Devil.  Col. 
How long have you been so vexed?  Igno. 
What is that to you; I have all this day been terribly tormented.  Theo. 
He confesseth it.  Cup. 
In what form appeared the Devil, when he first vexed you?  Igno. 
Sometimes of a man with a crooked neck, as this Torcoline; sometimes in the form of my servant Dullman, and sometimes like a Sorceress as this woman Pella, sometimes in the Form of a Sowgelder, as that man; And sometimes in yonder Angelic shape of Rosa rosae, he hath appeared in divers Forms—  Cup. 
There are many Devils, I see, do vex him.  Theo. 
Alas poor man.  Col. 
Do they never fly from you?  Igno. 
Yes, Dullman this day fled from me, but he is now with me again.  Anth. 
Keep of! 'Tis the very same I saw at London.  Theo. 
Away— Be gone.  Cup. 
And doth no spirit vex you Torcol?  Torc. 
Yes you do all of you torment me; why do you make a sport of us with a mischief to you? why do you sprinkle Holy waters so often on me?  Col. 
This man cannot endure Holy water no more than the other, they are both of them like affected.  Cup. 
They are so— They look much upon that young Gentlewoman.  Rosa. 
Alas, alas, For God's sake let's be gone.  Poll. 
Let all the Hobgoblins in hell come to me if they dare.  Col. 
By his very look you may see that this man is most strongly possessed.  Rosa. 
I am afraid of them, good Sir let's be gone.  Theo. 
Holy Friars, you do well, but I pray, go further from my House? for by my good will I would neither have Devils nor any possessed with them to be near unto me; I pray give me one sprinkle of your Holy water.  Anto. 
And me?  Rosa. 
And me Sir I pray you.  Theo, 
Make haste now, Away from them?  Torc. 
What are you gone Rosabella? Come back, come back I pray you.  Igno. 
My dear Rosabella Return to me; Do you not hear me Rosabella?  Torc. 
Rosabella.  Igno. 
Why Rosabella I say.  Theo. 
What a noise they make?  Cup. 
These Spirits be Incubi, and near of kin to Astmodeus; I would have all women to beware of them.  Coll. 
They look for their Succubae.  Theo. 
Let us go. Exeunt Anto. Theo. Rosab.  Igno. 
Rosabella I say, Are you gone? Now a pox go with you.  Torc. 
What wild Heats have bred these Distempers? They are all mad I think.  Coll. 
Take fast hold of this man and bind him.  Torc. 
It is my safest way to be gone, lest they use me as they do him, I perceive they are bent upon mischief. Exit Torc.  Cup. 
See— one of them hath made an Escape, follow him, follow him.  Col. 
What is he is gone?  Igno. 
Would I were e'en gone too; for I believe these two Friars are but a couple of knaves.   

The Eleventh SCENE of the Fourth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
They tie Ignoramus to a Chair, and with their Exortismes they drive away all the barbarous Lawyer's words be speaks as the Names of so many Devils. Cola taketh care to have him conveyed to the Monastery. Cupes goeth to the Tavern with his wife Polla, into whose favour again he is now received.  Ignoramus, Cupes, Cola, Polla, etc. Col. 
YOu that stand by with palms and holy herbs, tie him fast unto a Chair.  Igno. 
Why do you attach me so violently and bind me with Cords and Ropes?  Cup. 
Hold your peace?  Igno. 
O Dullman, Dullman; you said to day, you would fight like a Devil for me, Where are you Dullman now?  Col. 
I do exorcise thee Dullman; Be gone thou cursed Dullman.  Igno. 
He hath been gone once to day already; but if he comes now—  Col. 
He invokes Dullman; certainly his Name is Dullman.  Igno. 
With a plague t'ye; my Name is Ignoramus.  Cup. 
Be gone Ignoramus— praesto.  Igno. 
Be you gone like two Knaves as you are, what a foul Riota, what a Rowta do you make here?  Col. 
Two Devils, Riota, and Rowta.  Cup. 
Come forth, Thou most wicked Spirit Ignoramus; I do conjure thee Ignoramus, Thou decliner of Justice, Thou seducer of Men, Thou sour of Discord, thou disturber of the Peace: It is thou, whom I do exorcise. What is the Name of thy Master?  Igno. 
I am the Master myself.  Cola. 
Thou art then Beelzebub himself; Be gone thou Belzebub, I do conjure thee to come forth, and be gone.  Igno. 
So I will you may be sure as soon as possibly I can from your knaves Fingers.  Cup. 
I conjure thee to declare unto me, For what Cause came this unto thee?  Igno. 
For Rosabella, For her it is, and by her, that I am so tormented.  Cup. 
Be gone Rosabella, Be gone!  Igno. 
Oh the Devil! She is gone already.  Cup. 
I conjure thee to tell me: Didst thou ever give up thy soul unto her?  Igno. 
What's that to thee: I have given both Soul, and Body, and all my Goods unto her▪  Poll. 
Oh most wicked wretch!  Igno. 
And besides her Jointure, If she had married me, she had Francum Bancum too.  Col. 
Be gone Francum Bancum; Separate thyself from her Francum Bancum.  Igno. 
But now she shall not have it, never fear it; had she but set her affections on me, she should have enjoyed many more privileges, Infang-thief, Outfang thief. Tac, Toc, Tol, and Tem.  
How many there are of them? Be gone all of you Infang-thief, Outfang-thief. Tac, Toc, Tol, and Tem. I conjure you, all you evil spirits, whether you be in his round black-cap by day, or in his white cap by night, whether you be in his double tongue or under his Tongue, whether you be in his beard, or in his Head?  Igno. 
Oh you Asses you; what do you think the Devil holdeth in Capite. No he holds in Frocks, and socks and in bald Crowns, such as yours are, you hooded Monsters, you brothers of the Devil.  Poll. 
Now he invokes his Brothers the Devils.  Cola. 
Come forth you evil spirits, whether you be in his Doublet, or his Breeches, or his Coat, or his Cloak, or in his Drawers, or in his Pen, or his Wax, or in his Seal, or in his Ink-horn.  Igno. 
He was in the Horn too day indeed.  Cup 
I conjure thee thou most wicked spirit to come out of the Horn.  Igno. 
Pox take you and all the Horns in the world, but the Horn only that sounds to dinner.  Cola. 
Come forth all of you, you wicked spirits, and be totally explanted whether you be in his Indentures, or his Parchments, or in his Papers engrossed, or Papers not engrossed, in words of sense, or words without sense.  Igno. 
Whether in Grayfriars, or in Blackfriars, or in Crutchedfriars.  Col. 
I conjure you all; Be gone, and fly you evil spirits, Gray-friars, Blackfriars, and Crutched-friars. Fly and be gone, whether you be in his long Slops, or round Slops, or in his greater Guts, or the less Guts, or in his Codpiece.  Polla. 
There is the Devil I'll warrant you. I see him there.  Igno. 
I see him there in you; nisi facio te sursum tenere manum ad Barram, If I make you not hold up your hand at the Bar for it. O you Felons; who hath his hand now in my pocket?— you are Backharend and Handabend.  Cup. 
Be gone Backharend, and Handabend.  Igno. 
If they go, it is Felony directly.  Cup. 
Whether you are in his purse, or his pocket, or his Fob, whether in Gold or in silver, whether well got, or evil got.  Igno. 
ay, that's the Devil you desire, I do know it, Estis robatores, you are very Robbers all of you.  Col. 
I adjure you most wicked spirits, whether you are in the thighs, or between the thighs, come out all together out of all the members of this Creature.  Igno. 
Hoc est bene, si vult ire sic, Nay, this is well, If it will go so.  Col. 
And come all into the Toe of his left foot.  Poll. 
There they be, I see them there; I will beat them, and keep them down that they never rise again.  Igno. 
O you She Devil, O my Corns, my Corns, what do you do? The great Capias of the great Devil take you all, and every one of you both great and small.  Cup. 
Now he is mad, Brother, give me some exorcised salt, and hall owed fire, that I may exorcise and fumigate him.  Igno. 
The fire consume you all. Si dagarias capio rumpam calveo coronas vestras; If I take my Daggers once, I will break both your bald crowns in an instant.  Col. 
Dagarias, I conjure you to come forth Dagarias.  Igno. 
I would they could see defendendo.  Col. 
Let us try now, If he be obedient; Repeat now what I whisper to you in your ear. Buzz, buzz, buzz.  Cup. 
I adjure you to answer to what I demand of you; Mum, mum, mum.  Igno. 
I understand nothing.  Cup. 
Mum, mum.  Igno. 
Why do you keep such a mumming, and mopping, and such a moing like two Jack an Apes about me.  Col. 
Do you not perceive the Devils are gone from you.  Igno. 
I perceive that here are three Devils still at the least.  Polla. 
Three yet—  Igno. 
Yes three; I believe I am this day tormented with three Devils in good earnest; If I am, you Polla the Sorceress, are the first Devil, and you two are the two other Devils that do assist her.  Col. 
Brother, I perceive that very much remaineth yet to be done unto him; If you think well of it, let him be conveyed to our Btethrens the Friars in the Monastery.  Cup. 
It shall be done. Some of you take him hence and carry him thither.  Igno. 
In the Devils Name whither do you carry me, you foul porridge-bellyed Friars. Harroll. Harroll. I know the great Custom of Normandy. Harroll, The Devil take you all.  Coll. 
as soon as ever I have left him at the Monastery, I will immediately return to you, In the mean time do you take care that our Supper be in a readiness. Exit Cola.  Cup. 
It shall be done.  Poll. 
Ha, ha, he. Excellent sport brother—  Col. 
It is so, Sister; Let us now to the Tavern, That is my Monastery.  Poll. 
For this conceit Brother Cupes I will go henceforth with you where you please to command me.  Cup. 
You know my Polla that I do love you; prithee let us love one another. I have given you some money to day already; If you will be quiet and loving, I will always be giving to you; and Nothing shall bewanting.  Polla. 
For the time to come I will love you; and go whithersoever you will have me.   

The Twelfth SCENE of the Fourth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Pyropus comes with Sergeants to arrest Antonio and Trico, Trico is taken by them, whom Antonio doth not acknowledge; he is therefore to be hurried away to Jail. Not long after Antonio himself is arrested, And Trico to return like for like will take no notice of him. Antonio by his Sword doth redeem himself from the hands of the Sergeants.  Antonio, Trico, Pyropus, Sergeants. Anto. 
OH Trico, but just now I saw Ignoramus carried away to Saint Severin's Monastery. What makes you so Melancholy.  Tri. 
There is another Tempest hanging over our heads master.  Anto. 
I am sorry for it, what may it be.  Tri. 
I observed Pyropus to go unto the Judge, who hath assigned him some Hounds to Hunt us.  Anto. 
Hounds— what Hounds?  Tric. 
The Sheriff's Hounds, who doth Hunt after you to take you and to throw you into prison; and then all things will be known to your Father.  Anto. 
Let us contrive some way to preserve ourselves.  Py. 
You see (friends) what you have to do these are they who detain my clothes from me; you may spare the young Gentleman for the present, but be sure you take his servant into your custody.  Tri. 
I am undone. What would you have with me.  Pyro. 
Either go to prison, or restore my Goods unto me; you are now under custody.  Tri. 
There is my master himself, demand them of him; I am but a servant.  Anto. 
What shall I do? I must dissemble.  Pyro. 
Will you return my clothes back unto me, or will you see your servant dragged to the Jail for them?  Anto. 
Let him go whither he will for me; what have I to do with him? are you not ashamed to speak with so little respect to a Gentleman of my fashion and a stranger.  Tri. 
Forbear your English at this present, I pray you master, and give back the Cloth unto the Broker.  Anto. 
What are you? I know you not, Trico, Excuse me I must now counterfeit as if I knew thee not?  Tri. 
What will you pretend not to know me.  Anto. 
Hold your peace I pray, and play the Counterfeit a little.  Tri. 
Hold your peace, and play the counterfeit, you have got what you will of me, and now you will not know me.  Pyro. 
Do you not know him?  Anto. 
I know him, no not I; and give me leave I pray not to know you neither.  Tri. 
Do not you fool me? know you not Trico's master?  Anto. 
What Tricks? what Trico?  Tri. 
I would I never had been Trico? will you suffer them to hurry me to Jail?  Anto. 
What have I to do with you, hold your peace I say, and play the counterfeit.  Tri. 
Do you not hear how he commandeth me to hold my play and play the counterfeit.  Anto. 
What a lying knave is this, did I say so?  Pyro. 
If I should drag him to prison, I should not deal uncivilly with him.  Anto. 
What is that to me; do what you will with him; I have no relation to him, I neither do, nor will know him.  Tri. 
Masters for the most part do so deal with their servants, after they have got what they will of them, they lay them by, and make use of them no more, what? Are you ingrateful master? must your counterfeit Rings be given to a plain dealing, and a down right honest man verily?  Pyro. 
What verily again? I will no more be so deluded with verilies, I am now another man.  Anto. 
Well! I will go about my business, Fare you well. It grieves me thus to leave him, but what shall I do? Exit.  Tri. 
What is he gone? O most unworthy man? but, friend I have all those clothes in my own custody which you delivered to me, and if you please I will return them to you, the rest (as you yourself see) are upon my masters own back.  Pyro. 
Sergeant! Do some of you go with him, Exeunt. In the mean time I will tarry here until you return. How many men are there, that resemble this man's master; they are good for nothing but to make a fine show, and to set a face upon a business; they are like the Ring he gave me, it carries with it a fair promising show, and lustre, but try it at the Touchstone the brittleness of the metal will presently betray itself. Enter Trico.  Tri. 
Look you Sir, here are the clothes which were in my custody; Am I not an honest man now verily?  Pyro. 
Yes verily and thereupon I give you your liberty; but tell me I pray, is he who hath the Mole in his face the same Gentleman that came this morning with you to my shop?  Tri. 
What do you think of him? do you take him to be the same man?  Pyro. 
I do indeed, but if I light upon him again, I shall go near to lay him fast enough, but see where he comes, as if he meant to outbrave me.  Ant. 
It grieves me that I left Trico in such Distress.  Pyro. 
Secure him.  Anto. 
What means this?  Pyro. 
Your English will not serve your turn now, you shall even go where you deserve to be.  Anto. 
Trico, I pray you work some trick now that I go not to prison.  Tri. 
Who I! I understand you not.  Ant. 
No?— Use your invention; find out one Artifice or another to preserve me from the infamy of the Jail; now stand me instead Trico?  Tri. 
What now I am Trico again; it is not long ago since you did not know me, and now I will not know you.  Anto. 
Contrive some way I pray you.  Pyro. 
Take him away Sergeants.  Tri. 
E'en where you will; I know him not (you counterfeit as if I did not know you) do you remember it?  Anto. 
What? Do you not know me Trico, then?  Tri. 
St, hold your peace, and play the counterfeit?  Anto. 
Acknowledge me to be thy master, and own me but this once Trico.  Tri. 
Hold your peace I say and play the counterfeit.  Anto. 
Do you hear Friends this man doth know me well enough he is my servant.  Tri. 
Not I, I know him not, suffer me not to know you. Do you remember it Sir.  Pyr. 
He can speak now in some other language— come, let us go.  Anto. 
Trico, what would you have them to drag me hence?  Tri 
Where they please— Nay— in the word ungrateful all vices are comprehended— I'll be packing too.  Pyro. 
Sergeants have a care of your prisoner, see him in safe custody?  Anto. 
If I go to prison, it is my utter undoing.  Pyro. 
What English again?  Anto. 
I'll rather die— away Knaves, Villains, I will kill you all, he makes a flourish with his drawn sword.  Pyro. 
O me— Why Sergeants, Varlets; whither do you run with a mischief to you? return, and do your duties— if I complain not to the Sheriff— They run away.  Ant. 
I have redeemed myself. But what shall become of me now? Truth the Daughter of time will bring this, and all my late extravagancies to the light; my Father (whom I am ashamed to have cajoled with so many Circumventions) will at the last be informed of them; & yet there are many, who I know in love have committed many grosser mistakes, but suppose it should come to my father's Ear, he will be very angry at the first, and fret, and fume; but a Father's anger cannot continue long: but come what will come; Rosabella is now my own, and shall be so, she being safe, all things are safe with me, my Life and Fortunes are Woven into hers. Howsoever I will repair unto a Friend of mine on these new expedients to take new Counsels.    


The First SCENE of the Fifth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Dorothea the Wife of Theodore and Mother of Antonio is come from London unto Bordeaux, and leaveth her son Anthonine with his wife Katherine indisposed and very weary of their journey at a House hard by the Sea side; she cometh to the House of her Husband Theodore, and takes along with her, an English Boy, and an English Girl.  Dorothea, Vince, Nell, Richard. Doro. 
HAil to my dear Country, and to my native City of Bordeaux; now after fifteen melancholy Winters expired in London, I do hope to see my Husband Theodore & son Antonio; For ever since they first were made Prisoners by War, no times were pleasant to me, but this day will make amends for all; I stay too long; I must procure a Coach to bring hither my son Anthonine, and my Daughter in law Katherine, I left them in an Inn near to the place we landed. The Sea hath made the young woman so sick and faint, Her legs can hardly bear her; I must send for them both.  Vin. 
Good Madam, speak our language, here's Nell, and I and a great many more understand not a word what you say: what shall we do in this Country?  Dor. 
Why Vince understandest thou nothing yet?  Vin. 
Scarce a word, yet I was in France once before.  Dor. 
Nor you neither little Nell?  Nell. 
No truly, I would I were at home in London again, They speak so finely forsooth here.  Dor. 
Yes, you understand a few words, I taught you something what's La teste?  Nell. 
A Head forsooth.  Dor. 
Well said Nell, what's La main?  Nell. 
A Hand forsooth.  Dor. 
What is le bras? tell me Nell.  Nell. 
Le bras.—  Vinc. 
Nell, 'tis a Horse tool.  Nell. 
What is it Vince?  Vinc. 
A Horse tool, say.  Nell. 
Shall I forsooth?  Doro. 
Say then; what's le bras?  Nell. 
A Horse tool forsooth!  Dor. 
Fie on thee.  Vin. 
Ha, ha, he.  Nell. 
ay, I, Indeed forsooth, Vince told me so!  Dor. 
Vince is an unhappy boy— well you shall both learn.  Vinc. 
ay, but it will be such a while first.  Dor. 
Why so boy?  Vin. 
They say that women teach this language best; And it will be six years' first ere I shall get such a sweet Mistress as I would have.  Dor. 
I will be thy, Mistress myself.  Vinc. 
I but old women never teach half so well, but pray Madam let me alone with my Mother's tongue; I love my natural speech, I am a Gentleman.  Dor. 
This is the only tongue that Gentlemen affect.  Vin. 
I know a tongue worth two of it.  Dor. 
What's that Vince?  Vin. 
Marry a Neat's tongue with Venison sauce.  Cor. 
Thou art a very wag Vince— well, I'll go find out thy Master Theodorus house; they say it is near the Palace. And that is here, I'll knock, and ask: Tic, Toc.— Is this the House of Master Theodorus?  Rich. 
Yes, Madam.  Dor. 
Is he within?  Rich. 
Yes— what would you have with him?  Dor. 
I desire to speak with him.  Rich. 
Come in— If you please?  Dor. 
Where are these little ones?  Nell. 
Forsooth.  Dor. 
This is your Master Theodorus house; Come in with me.  Nell. 
Yes forsooth.   

The Second SCENE of the Fifth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Vince and Nell make sport with one another, but seeing Ignoramus whom they take for a Mad man they run away.  Vince and Nell stay. Vin. 
STay Nell— stay.  Nell. 
I cannot, O Lord, you are such another True I think.  Vin. 
O Lord, you are such another Trull I think.  Nell. 
I tell you, I must wait upon my Lady.  Vin. 
I tell you, you must wait on me.  Nell. 
I will Sir. She makes a Curtsy to him.  Vin. 
How now Maid! what's that your Curtsy? down— down— down— descend— lower yet— lower yet— sweep me the ground with your breech now, and swim away?  Nell. 
Now I'll go.  Vin. 
Nell, Nell, Didst thou ever see the Man in the Moon?  Nell. 
No faith, prithee let me see him?  Vin. 
Look here? He chaps her under the Chin.  Nell. 
Beshrew your heart blood, you had almost made me bite my tongue in two.  Vin. 
What need ears and tongues in this Country, we are both deaf, and dumb here.  Nell. 
It's a strange Country, All the little Barns can speak French here; and yet we cannot.  Vin. 
So do the pigs to.  Nell. 
What?  Vin. 
Ovy, Ovy, Ovy, Do they not so?  Nell. 
Here's one thing I shall never endure.  Vin. 
What's that prithee.  Nell. 
They say, we maids must drink nothing but water.  Vin. 
That's true Nell, but 'tis no matter; you'll make water, though you drink nothing but wine.  Nell. 
Fie Vince, how you talk?  Vin. 
As though you do not do it? what a simpering is here?  Nell. 
Vince, Vince, they wear fine clothes here.  Vin. 
ay, but terrible soul shirts here; but, Nell, you must be very bold,  Nell. 
Why are their Women so?  Vin. 
Yes all with their blind Bayards.  Nell. 
you are always flouting.  Vin. 
You must learn to mock too, you must frump your own Father here upon occasion.  Nell. 
I have a pretty wit for a Frump, though I say it, but good Vince, if you love me, take heed of one thing.  Vin. 
What's that?  Nell. 
of eating Grapes, for fear you take a Surfeit.  Vin. 
I love them not, quoth the Fox, I would I could come at them.  Nell. 
Faith— you'll be sick then?  Vin. 
ay, sick? what heart of Oak? body of Brass? I am not such a puler as Mistress Katherine to be Sea-sick, and have a Coach sent for me, well fare old Bell-metal.  Nell. 
Hark!— I think I am called; nay, Fie master Vince, you spoil my Ruff; Faith I'll give you no more sweetmeats, when I go to my Lady's Closet.  Vin. 
Peace, Nell, I'll hand you in, by the Arm after the French fashion, O my dear Damosella!  Nell. 
O my Monsieur!  Vin. 
Go apace, yonder comes a mad man. Exeunt.   

The Third SCENE of the Fifth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Ignoramus relateth to his servants Dullman and Pecus, in what manner they handled him in the Monastery, and how he escaped out of the hands of the Monks.  Ignoramus, Pecus, Dullman. Igno. 
DIabolus volet viam cum omnibus his frateribus, & fraterculis etiam, si haberem focum puto focarem hoc monasteri um in mente qua nunc sum, sed est felonia, puto non focarem; At ite mecum vos magni nebulones ab hoc monasterio ad Westmonasterium si audetis pro ambis auribus, si capio vos ibi—  
The Devil fly away with all these Friars, and Friarers also, if I had any fire, I think in the mind in which I now am, I should fire this Monastery; but it is Felony, I think I should not fire it now again: but go along with me you Lubberly knaves from this Minster to Westminster, if you dare for both your Ears; if I take you there—  Dull. 
Quid jam? Num est in fumo adhuc? Magister ego deliberavi Pecus, vide.  
What? still in a fume? Master I have freed Pecus, see here he is?  Pec. 
Spero trounsalis Torcol pro hoc.  
I hope you will trounce Torcol for this.  Igno. 
Trounsabis? Ego fui trounsatus hodie, ut puto nunquam homo fuit in mundo trounsatus; pro hoc solo, nunquam indurato faciem Fratris, neque cleri●● dum vivo.  
Trounce him! why I have been so trounced to day, as I think never man was trounced in the World. For this one thing alone, I will never endure the face of a Friar, or of a Clerk as long as I live.  Dull. 
ubi erant Daggariae tum se defendendo? Where were your Daggers than Master in your own defence?  Igno. 
Dagarias me●● ceperunt, & asportarum contra pacem Regis coronam & dignitutem ejus, tantu●i reliquerunt tres scaberdas & spoliarunt meam ruffam, & obligationem, Hic▪  
Why? they seized upon my Daggers, and carried them away against the King's peace, and his Crown, and Dignity, they have only left me the three Scabbards, and see here they have spoilt my Ruff and my obligation also.  Dull. 
Profecto est cancellata. Oh grievous, it is canceled indeed Sir.  Igno. 
Volebant etiam facere me mille res, voluit unus me plorare, & in despectu nasi faciebat me plorare, & alias mummabat nescio quid, Ex ego repetebam mummans nescio quid, & quicquid dicebam, erat Diabolus cum illis.  
They also would make me do a thousand things; One of them would make me to weep and cry, and in spite of me own nose he made me cry; Another would have me to mutter, and mumble I know not what myself; and I did repeat after them and mumbled I know not what myself, and every word I spoke was a Devil with them.  Dull. 
Quomodo dicis per illud nunc? in bona veritate hic erat Dies terribilissimus.  
How say you by that now? in good earnest Master, this was a most terrible Day.  Igno. 
Dies? Festum omnium sanctorum praeteriit, puto hodie esse festum omnium Diabolorum.  
A day say you— The Feast of All Saints is passed. I think this day was the Feast of All Devils.  Dull. 
Tu convenies cum illis uno die, Sir, you may chance to meet with them one day or another.  Igno. 
I will have them all in a Praemunire.  Dull. 
Do; And beg the Friary of the King.  Igno. 
But that some English men (amongst whom I had made an agreement) came at that instant by chance into the Monastery, who all of them knew me, and certified that I was not possessed with a Devil; per meam fidem puto murder assent me, Upon my faith I think they would have murdered me.  Dull. 
Quomodo dicis per illud nunc? How say you by that now?  Igno. 
Ita super eorum verba sinebant me ire ad largum: And so upon their words they gave me leave to go at large.  Pec. 
Hic est Casus meus. Haec est villamissima villa.  
It is directly my Case. This is a most vile villainous City master.  Igno. 
Bordeaux, Bordeaux, In nomine Diaboli ego abibo cras, & si gigno Burdeaux semel super dorsum meum, si iterum returno ad Burdeaux dabo illis veniam geldare me. Ibo nunc ad Torcol nebulonem, & nisi ille mibi det coronas meas & bonam satisfactionem capiam illum in manum alio modo.  
Bordeaux, Bordeaux, In the Devil's Name, I will be gone too morrow, and if I get Bordeaux once upon my back, if ever I return again to Bordeaux, I will give them leave to geld me. I will now go to the knave Torcol, and unless he gives me my crowns and good satisfaction I shall take him in hand another way.  Pec. 
Habes illum super clunem nunc pro falso Imprisonamento.  
You have him now upon the buttock for false Imprisonment.  Igno. 
Come, come, let us go all three of us; now sommes trois, we three are three.  Dull. 
Fear not Master; we will advance with one spirit of Revenge. But first Hist— steal softly off? I see one of them already.   

The Fourth SCENE of the Fifth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Trico hearing Dorothea speaking with Theodorus, conceives himself undone beyond all hope of Recovery; and that the whole carriage of the Plot, & all the Deceits there would now undoubtedly be discovered: Dorothea relates to Theodorus that the true Anthonine and the true Katherine were lodged for the present in an Inn hard by the Haven. Theodorus calleth forth the counterfeit Katherine. Trico hides himself.  Trico, Theodorus, Dorothea. Tri. 
JUst now almost, I encountered with my Master Anthonio who gave me such soft and fair language that I could not choose but forgive him. But what rare sight is this? my Master Theodore embracing of a woman, Ha, ha, he, an old man in love, upon my faith I am glad on't.  Theo. 
I can hardly at the last give any intermission to my kisses, and embraces, I am transported with so great a joy.  Dor. 
The joy is no less mine, than it is yours my Theodore.  Tri. 
My Theodore, my dear sweet-love— Ha, ha, he.  Theo. 
At your coming my Dorothy, I do revive, and grow young again.  Tri. 
And at your coming Mistress Dorothy I do perish.  Dor. 
To make your joy yet greater, and more absolute, send your Coach I pray you to the Havens side, to bring hither your Daughter in law Katherine, and your son Anthonine.  Theo. 
Anthonine is just now gone into the City, but Katherine is within.  Dor. 
I left them both now at an Inn by the Havens side, and came first of all myself unto you.  Tri. 
Now Trico go and hang thyself?  Theo. 
I will call her forth that you shall see her.  Doro. 
It cannot be.  Tric. 
I would she had broke her Neck in her journey or drowned herself with mischief to her.  Doro. 
Let me not live if she be not so sea-sick that she can hardly put one foot before another.  Theo. 
Ho lafoy— within there? bid Katherine come hither?  Tri. 
These be your Intrigues Trico? Are you that cunning, that subtle, crafty Trico? what will you do now? What if you go this way? it will not do. What, if that way? it will be to no purpose neither. There is not the least hope left.  Theo. 
Ho lafoy! Bid Katherine come hither quickly.  Tric. 
Woe is me, What is to come? is to come, and it cannot be avoided.  Theo. 
Bid Trico come hither also, if he be within.  Tri. 
What? Trico too? Trico is not within to my knowledge, I will here hide myself, and be as near them, as I can.   

The Fifth SCENE of the Fifth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Rosabella comes forth, and professeth herself to be Katherine; but Dorothea denying it, she at the last confesseth the whole truth, Theodorus threatneth her.  Rosabella, Theodorus, Dorothea. Rosa. 
WHat's your pleasure Sir?  Theo. 
Look you, Dorothy, this is Katherine.  Dor 
Where's Katherine?  Theo. 
Do you ask, and see her stand before you?  Dor. 
You are deceived this is not Katherine.  Rosa. 
Woe is me, wretch as I am, what shall become of me? whither shall I turn myself?  Theo. 
What do you say? whither shall you turn yourself, Are not you my Daughter in law.  Dor. 
Good Lord! who are you trow?  Theo. 
Look well upon her I pray you.  Dor. 
Why would you have me look upon her; I know her not, neither did I ever see her.  Rosa. 
Oh that I were dead now! happy is she that dyeth before she desireth and invoketh death.  Dor. 
Believe me it is not Katherine.  Theo. 
Who are you? why do you not speak?  Rosa. 
If she will not be my Mother in law, alas, Sir, can I help it.  Dor. 
Thou art a good one I'll warrant thee.  Theo. 
Who are you? it is impossible for you now to part undiscovered; why do you not answer me?  Rosa. 
Good Sir, I know not what to answer.  Theo. 
Do you still hold your peace? do you think me good for nothing else but to be abused and affronted by you? impudent prostitute!  Rosa. 
Whatsoever I am Sir, I am not dishonest, the respect I bear unto you makes me forbear to answer these false and foul Terms.  Dor. 
I pray do not dissemble, and I will speak for you.  Theo. 
Shall my house be polluted with your filthiness; shall I be made the subject of infamy and disgrace for your incontinence; you shall not go unpunished.  Rosa. 
O me, I was born in an unfortunate hour.  Dor. 
Confess than I pray you, do?  Theo. 
When no excuse can be found any longer, you presently have recourse unto Tears, but those counterfeit Tears shall do you no good. Why draw I not my sword, and expiate this Villainy? will you not confess? will you not tell me who you are, you strumpet you.  Rosa. 
Pardon me Sir, I pray you, and I will confess every thing; I am the unhappy, but not the unchaste Rosabella.  Theo. 
O! now you are my own Country woman. Now you appear in your own colours.  Dor. 
Who brought you hither? speak the truth?  Rosa. 
Antonio.  Dor. 
I am sorry he is such a One.  Theo. 
'Tis so, is it not? he returned from Sea, and counterfeited himself to be Anthonine, and painted a mole on his cheek, the better to carry on the deceit.  Rosa. 
He did so.  Theo. 
O Times, and manners, when Sons thus boldly dare delude their own Fathers, but it was you, you enchantress, that did enchant him to it; it was by your Allurements he did do it; you vile strumpet.  Rosa. 
I am no strumpet— pardon me I pray you Sir, I am the Wife of Antonio.  Theo. 
You his Wife? what, you his Wife? take heed what you say, you enticing baggage lest I cut your tongue out of your Head.  Rosa. 
What is already done cannot be undone; I must beseech you therefore for your goodness, and your gentleness to bear it with wisdom and not with passion inveigh against that which cannot be changed, or helped.  Anto. 
But I will help it in spite of Destiny; and make at once a divorce both of our Marriage and your life.  Rosa. 
Happy is the death which extinguisheth the miseries of life.  Theo. 
O my Dorothy, we had almost lost our son Antonio.  Dor. 
I see there is no perfect joy in this life.  Theo. 
Do you believe this baggage is not to be made exemplary.  Dor. 
She is so, but for my sake, I pray use Clemency.  Theo. 
What Clemency can be showed unto her who hath corrupted our son, for whom I had prepared a rich wife and of Noble Parentage.  Dor. 
Patience is a remedy for every grief.  Theo. 
Pardon me my Dorothy, if at this present I entertain you not with that respect, and tenderness of love which is due unto you; my mind is very much troubled. I know you are weary with your long journey, I pray go in, and refresh yourself, and command Bannacar the Moor to come unto me.  Dor. 
I will do as as you desire me, but I pray be not too passionate, nor leap into a sanguine rage. Exit.  Theo. 
Woe is me, I have lived one day longer than I should but I will remove far from me the Cause of Grief; she shall not live a day longer.  Rosa. 
I perceive what he intends to do with me, but I willingly prepare myself.   

The Sixth SCENE of the Fifth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Trico lies still, and close upon the lurch. Theodorus commands Bannacar to kill Rosabella which he denyeth to put in execution, and the rather, because he knows Rosabella to be the Daughter of his Master Alphonsus who dying at Fez gave him his liberty. Trico departeth to relate this unto Antonio; Rosabella overcome with Grief, and Fear doth faint away.  Trico, Bannacar, Theodorus, Rosabella. Tri. 
COme forth Trico from thy place of subterfuge, like a shade from the gates of darkness, and obscrue what thy master Theodorus doth above ground.  Ban. 
Would you speak with me master?  Theo. 
With no man sooner my Bannacar, for I have always known thee a faithful servant to me.  Ban. 
And I have always found you a bountiful Master.  Theo. 
You have been sensible of my bounty heretofore, and now you shall every day observe it to be more, and more enlarged, if you perform that which I shall command you to do for me.  Ban. 
Master command me to be killed, I will neither startle at it, nor fly from it.  The. 
Command you (Bannacar) to be killed God forbid; but I would have you to kill another.  Banna. 
would you have me master to kill any one—  Theo. 
Yes, to kill her who hath defiled my house, and committed a wickedness which cannot be taken away, unless she be taken away with it; do you therefore with your hand coloured with the blackness of Night, remove this disgrace from us, and put her to deserved death.  Tri. 
I will fly to Antonio, and relate this unto him, to preserve, if possible, both her and myself from this great danger. Exit Trico.  Theo. 
Why do you draw back Bannacar? why do you not answer me?  Bana. 
Shall I being made a Christian by your goodness, so transgress against it, as put any one to death. Master, I have learned better things, of you therefore I must beseech you to desist from so evil an Act, you will overcome better by Council then by Passion.  Theo. 
What are you afraid of, I will secure you from all dangers. Do it therefore my Bannacar; inflict upon her what death you please, you may throw her headlong into the Sea, or you may immure her between two Walls, where she may perish with Hunger.  Rosa. 
Sir, if I needs must die, I pray let me die but once, for they who die of a lingering death die often.  Theo. 
I care not what death you die of, but die you shall.  Rosa. 
Lo here I stand an innocent sacrifice, and I die willingly, for without Antonio I can find nothing in this world that may induce me to live. And indeed so great a grief already doth invade me, I know I shall not live long.  The. 
If you hope to live, you do but delude yourself. Bannacar why fulfil you not my Command?  Rosa. 
Bannacar, I knew you at Fez; you were heretofore a servant of my Fathers who dying made you a Free man; therefore Bannacar be not too barbarous in the murder of me.  Banna. 
Woe is me, this is Rosabella.  Rosa. 
I am as you see, the miserable Rosabella.  Banna. 
This is the Daughter of my excellent master Alphonsus whose Bondslave I was at Fez; I pray master desist from this so cruel an enterprise.  Theo. 
What, you knave, are you grown so refractory? Either do you kill her, or I will kill you?  Ban. 
Kill me if you please; for I will not kill her: shall I kill her who was heretofore my Mistress, and so kind and loving to me: shall I kill her whose Noble Father, of a bondman, made me free?  Theo. 
Tell not me these Fables; I will drag her unto death myself,— never stare upon me, I will do it.  Ros. 
You shall not need, feel my heart already to cleave a sunder with the excess of Grief. Farewell Antonio?— Farewell for ever my dear Antonio. she falls down down in a swoon.  Theo. 
This your Counterfeiting shall do you no good.  Banna. 
Woe is me she is dead.  Theo. 
She counterfeits, you knave, she counterfeits; and you counterfeit as well as she, but I shall make her—   

The Seventh SCENE of the Fifth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Antonio comes and believing that his Father had killed Rosabella, he endeavours to kill himself. Rosabella recovereth from her Swoon. Antonio demands her for his Wife. His Father inquires after her Parentage. She makes answer she is the Daughter of Alphonsus, a Noble man of Portugal who dying at Fez did bequeath her to her Uncle Roderigo Torcol, who suffering shipwreck, and by the force of the wind being driven upon these coasts did live here; Bannacar being demanded concerning her, saith, she is not the daughter of Alphonsus (though always so accounted) but of a London Merchant whose name was Manly and her Mother's name Dorothy; Moreover that being brought up at Detford she was stolen from thence by Urtade, her Nurse's Name was Ursula, and her own name Isabel, by which tokens together with her picture in Amber, Theodorus perceiveth that this is the daughter of Alderman Manly, who so many years ago was betrothed to his Son Antonio, he therefore gives full consent to the Marriage of Antonio, and Isabella, who was the counterfeit Rosabella.  Antonio, Theodorus, Bannacar, Rosabella. Anto. 
I Am undone, I have come to late, she is dead already; see where she lies; Oh that I could breathe my soul into thee; O thee and me unhappy for whose sake thou innocently hast endured this. Why was not I demanded unto death; she, alas, deserved nothing, what fault had she done.  Theo. 
What doth he mean to do with himself?  Ant. 
Art thou gone from me my dearest love, my life? Thou art gone but I will follow thee.  Theo. 
Will he act some cruelty on himself; Beshrew me I suspect him; why Son? Son Antonio what are you about to do?  Ant. 
Am I a Son, or you a Father that have committed so foul an Act? no matter! you shall not hinder him from dying, whom you would not suffer to live.  Theo. 
Are you in your right wits?  Anto. 
I am not in my wits, nor can I be; I desire it not, how can I be otherwise then mad whom you have made so by your own madness.  Theo. 
Certainly you are mad.  Anto. 
I am so; and I should be mad, if I were not mad: Would you not have me to be mad? would you have me now to be mad? Rosabella the delight of my Eyes, my Joy and my Safety is killed. Rosabella who while she lived excelled all women; Certainly, you turned away your Eyes from her when you did it; for had you beheld her beauty and sweet innocence, I know you had never done it. This only favour I desire of you that since you would not give us leave being alive to enjoy one another, you would now suffer us being dead to sleep together, and to be buried in one grave.  Theo. 
Son; Before you die, learn what it is to live.  Anto 
How can I do that, when you have taken away my life.  Theo. 
I pray come hither:  Anto. 
Approach not too near, lest my youthful sury act that over again which you in your old age already have committed.  Theo. 
What do you attempt? are you resolved to die?  Anto. 
As sure as she is dead.  Theo. 
But live? and I will grant you any thing.  Anto. 
You will give your grant now, when there is nothing to be granted.  Theo. 
If you will believe me, we have not so much as touched her, let us see if we can call her back again to life.  Anto. 
Recall her? are you mad. She cannot return, therefore to you I come— I come my Rosabella.  Theo. 
O my Son, Forbear I pray you; Look on my gray hairs, and rather kill me; I am old, and going down the hill, you are in the flower of your Age.  Rosa. 
Where am I?  Theo. 
Do you hear her? she is come again to herself, I am heartily glad of it.  Rosa. 
Where are you Antonio, Antonio?  Anto. 
O my dear Life; Do you breath again; you have preserved my life.  Theo. 
Do you think Antonio I would have killed her?  Rosa. 
I dreamed a very melancholy dream; I thought I was dead, And that there was one would have killed me.  Anto. 
Fear not?  Theo. 
Do not Fear? you are now safe from danger.  Anto. 
How happy now am I, because I see you alive, I begin again myself to live.  Theo. 
Let me not live, I am glad to see her restored to life.  Rosa. 
I am alive now, but by your benefit.  Anto. 
Sir, I beseech you; you see the Destinies are willing to it, let me have but your good will to make her my wife.  Theo. 
Be quiet a little! peradventure I will.  Anto. 
Peradventure Sir!— This gives no satisfaction.  Theo. 
The fury of the Son hath overcome the fury of the Father: we are both violently passionate: my own Son all over— But tell me what Dowry are you to have with her?  Anto. 
A great Dowry Father! Birth, and Beauty.  Theo. 
But Son, nothing is bought in the Market with Birth or Beauty; I see she is beautiful enough; but how shall we know she is of Noble Birth? she seems to be a stranger, and is utterly unknown to me.  Anto. 
Her manners speak it in my silence; but she can best herself relate it, if you will give her leave to speak.  Theo. 
I will neither interrupt nor contradict her; speak therefore but speak truly?  Rosa. 
If I speak not the Truth, let Bannacar disprove me who was my Father's servant.  Theo. 
Were you her Father's servant Bannacar? I think already you have said it.  Ban. 
I have so. I was a servant to her Father at Fez, before I came unto you: for her Father being dead I traveled into Portugal to procure some way of livelihood; but finding none, I wandered up and down in France, and came hither at last to Bordeaux where you made me at once both your Servant and a Christian.  Theo. 
'Tis well; If she speaks any thing that is untrue, Do you reprove her?  Rosa. 
My Father was a great Soldier, and a gallant Commander in War; his Name Alphonso, a Noble Man of Portugal.  Theo. 
Bannacar?—  Ban. 
It is so.  Rosa. 
From Portugal he traveled to exercise his Arms at Fez, and dying there, he committed me to the Care and Trust of his brother Rodrigo Torcol; for so it fell out that he was then at Fez in the Condition of a Merchant, and returning with me from thence into Portugal, he was driven hither by violent winds, and his ship being made unserviceable, he ever after dwelled in this City.  Theo. 
Is all this true Bannacar?  Bann. 
True, as far as she knows.  Theo. 
Do you know any thing more than she?  Bann. 
I do believe I do, and if you will give me leave I can throughly inform you with it.  Theo. 
You have your own Liberty.  Bann. 
She was not the true Daughter of Alphonsus.  Rosa. 
Just now, you said I was. I must now reprove you, Bannacar.  Anto. 
What do you lie, you slave you?  Theo. 
Pray Son, Hold your peace but a little while.  Bann. 
I speak the Truth, and will speak more if you will hear me out.  Theo. 
Proceed!  Bann. 
Before I was Alphonsus' servant, I served a Portugal Merchant, who lived in Mauritania; his Name was Vrtado; he oftentimes sailed with his merchandise to London, but finding there but bad Markets, he privately would steal all the English Children he could handsomely meet with, and sell them in Mauritania on his return. As our ship therefore did ride on the River of Thames not far from Detford, the Nurse of Rosabella (carrying her in her Arms) walked along the banks side, Vrtado by chance was there in a boat, and expressing himself in English to the Nurse in as fair and as flattering words as possibly he could, he so far prevailed that he enticed the Nurse, with her pretty burden in her Arms, to come into his ship, which the easy and foolish Woman did accordingly; she was no sooner in the ship but immediately he Hoist sails, and brought her into Mauritania with other English Children, where for a round sum of Money he sold this young Lady, and me with her, at Fez to Alphonsus, who having no Children of his own did adopt her being about Four Years of Age for his own daughter, and laid a great charge on me, being then his servant, not to reveal it unto any, I therefore did conceal it, and this is the first time I have seen her since the death of my master Alphonsus.  Theo. 
But what is become of her who you said was her Nurse?  Banna. 
She died in the way, and was thrown over board.  Theo. 
Do you know what was her name?  Bann. 
Ursula.  Theo. 
Ursula, and Detford? how great is my Hope? but did the Nurse never declare unto you whose her little nursling was, or to whom she did belong?  Banna. 
Yes, and with much compunction of spirit, she said oftentimes she was the daughter of an Alderman of London one Mr. Mainly; or Mr. Manly, such a name it was.  Theo. 
Mr. Manly I believe.  Ban. 
Yes it was so, and that the Name of this young Lady was Isabel.  Theo. 
Good God what Isabel too?  Ban. 
For it was Alphonsus her supposed Father that did afterwards give her the name of Rosabella.  Theo. 
Detford— Ursula— Manly and— Isabella how admirably do these tokens agree? I can hardly contain myself from embracing of her. But tell me Bannacar what do you remember more?  Ban. 
Nothing but that the Nurse being dead I took from her a little medail, which I have still in my purse, I keep it for the rare artifice of it.  Theo. 
Show it me Bannacar?  Ban. 
Sir, here it is.  Theo. 
Come hither my Antonio; you know that Alderman the first wife of my Dorothea had two Daughters by her, Katherine who is now the wife of Anthonine and Isabel, whom many years ago we betrothed unto you when you were little ones. For even then when you could hardly speak plain she would call you Hus-and band, you called her Wife. When I was married to Dorothea we gave to both of you Medails in which your pictures were engraven; And this is that which I then gave to Isabel. See— here is the Effigies of a Boy and a Girl, this representeth you, and that Isabel. Behold your hands joined as in wedlock, and your two faces touching one another. See the two birds, that are the symbols of marriage, and the Inscription of these two Letters, A, and I, that is Antonio, and Isabella.  Ant. 
I have at home another most like it, with these two letters, I and A.  Theo. 
That is Isabel the wife of Antony. It is the very same which was then given to you. I am now fully satisfied within myself that this is the same Isabel that heretofore was betrothed to you.  Anto. 
O wonderful! I am surprised with as much amazement as joy.  Theo. 
O my dear daughter in-law Isabel, give me leave, most unworthy of you, to embrace you.  Rosa. 
Now fortune flatters, and smiles upon me; and by and by it may be froward and frown again.  Theo. 
Think not so; you have fortune now at your own command.  Ant. 
You who were before my Rosabella, shall be now my deer Isabel. Twice I have found you, and twice I live anew, and another life.  Theo. 
Embrace you one another, and I'll embrace you both— my dear son and daughter. Pardon I pray you, my daughter, what but now I so rashly attempted.  Rosa. 
Father, if you have done any thing amiss, I have forgot it; but the good which you now do I shall always be careful to remember.  Theo. 
Excellently spoken! my Antonio, How happy a man are you?  Anto. 
I do confess it, and Father I must beseech you to forgive those many Untruths which this day I have spoken before you. For to be wise, and be in love, is granted scarce to God above.  The. 
You are wise, and she is wise, I do pardon you, and do desire you both pardon me. 'tis I only am the fool. O my servant Bannacar, how much are you more wise than I am: but if I do you not much Good for it, rank me not amongst the number of men.  Anto. 
And I Bannacar will endeavour to do thee Good also.  Rosa. 
But I most of all.  Bann. 
I am glad I have been the Instrument of so much Joy unto you.  Anto. 
Father, I must beseech you that you will be pleased to pardon Trico also.  Rosa. 
I pray Sir do! for if he had not been, I had been made this day Ignoramus Concubine·  Theo. 
Both you and he hath deserved, that I should do both this and that, and all things else which you do desire of me.   

The Eight SCENE of the Fifth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Thanks are given to Bannacar, and Trico; Katherine, and Anthonine are come to the House of their Father Theodorus, to whom he bringeth Rosabella.  Trico, Theodorus, Rosabella, Bannacar, Vince. Trico. 
HEre from my lurking-hole, I have understood all, I will now show my face with confidence; Master, I find that all things fall out happily unto you. Do you not praise me now? am I not now a good Trico?  Theo. 
A good Trico thou art— And happy man be thy dole.  Tric. 
Lord, how I hate a liar with my heart; your Trico told neither unto you, nor unto Torcol any thing but what was the truth this day.  Theo. 
That was true too; what pains you took at my Country House.  Tric. 
So it was Master, with a mental Reservation; my Body was here indeed, but my mind was at your Countryhouse.  Theo. 
Ha, ha, he; How learned are you grown?  Tric. 
I Sir; I had it out of Cupes Book; when I am married, there shall be a Comedy acted: The Name of it shall be Aequivocus.  Theo. 
But Loiola only must Scene a Tragedy. Away with him:  Anto. 
Father, That no discontent may cloud our Marriage; confer I pray six hundred Crowns on Torcol the supposed Uncle of Isabel for the charges of her maintenance, he may pay them back again to Ignoramus who bought her this day of him for so much money.  Theo. 
Willingly, my Son, and much more too. Here Trico take this gold Chain, and give it to Torcol, and bring Ignoramus hither to me with him. Let that be an Earnest, that I will give them full Content to their own desires; and d''ee hear— invite all the Jovial blades and the most apparent of our Neighbours to supper too morrow night; we will there repeat, and laugh at thy Conceits. No man shall depart with a sad heart.  Tric. 
Now you are my brave Master in earnest, Now I perceive you will get you a Name.  Theo. 
Trico, give me thy hand; In good troth I love thee.  Tric. 
Master; and if I love you not twice as much— well— you know not what I think on now; you may go where you will, but if I love you not— in my heart's heart Master.  Theo. 
My Trico, and my Bannacar, I will be good unto you.  Tric. 
Master; Bannacar the Moor, and Trico, are your two servants that are worth their weight in Gold.  Theo. 
You have spoke the Truth; but go now where I commanded you.  Tric. 
On the reputation of this Chain I go now to Torcol, and afterwards I will address myself to Ignoramus. I will bring them both to you with all the speed I can. Exit Trico. Enter Vincit.  Vince. 
Sir, my Lady would desire you to come in, to Master Anthonine and Mistress Katherine, they are new come, in the Coach at the other Gate.  Theo. 
My pretty Boy Donze la main.  Vinc. 
La main, that's a hand; Nell can tell you Sir what's Le bras too.  Theo. 
Come my Isabel let us go to Dorothea, that she may participate of this great joy with us. Exeunt.   

The Ninth SCENE of the Fifth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Antonio gives satisfaction to Pyropus the Broker for his clothes.  Pyropus, Antonio, Vince. Pyrop. 
I See him again; I will speak to him howsoever; although I must confess I stand in some fear of him: Heus, Heus, you, you Sir.  Vinc. 
Is your Name Heus Sir. Here is one calleth Heus, or Hugh.  Anto. 
Who is it?  Pyro. 
I pray Sir, restore my Garments to me.  Anto. 
O Pyropus!— Come in, you shall have them presently.  Pyro. 
What Sir, now you are our own Countryman again; Now you are Antonio?  Anto. 
I am so, Come in I pray.  Pyro. 
He is more tame, and gentle then he was; I do suspect him so much the more, he before did beat me in English, peradventure he desireth to take me into his hands again and to beat me now in French.  Anto. 
Nay Friend come along with me! why draw you back so?  Vinc. 
He looks very fearfully, and speaks just like one that is going to steal Deer.  Anto. 
Tell me what are you afraid of.  Pyro. 
Of some hard dealing from you; upon my troth Sir, I had rather part with half the Goods you have of mine, then endure to be beaten again by you.  Anto. 
Upon my Reputation I will deal fairly with you.  Pyro. 
What Sir? not on the Reputation of this Ring.  Anto. 
No on my own Reputation now; necessity doth sometimes put us upon unhandsome shifts, but do you excuse me I am now become another man.  Pyro. 
Shall I believe your Flatteries again.  Anto. 
Be confident in me.  Vinc. 
What a sly Buzzard is this? a man can scarce get a shoot at him with a stalking-Horse, he hath been scared sure.  Pyro. 
I see no Mole now.  Anto. 
There is none. Be not afraid; Here take this Cloak in the first place, see, I throw it to you.  Vinc. 
Shall Heus have your Cloak Sir? I would he would go to Dice with me for it. I have high and low men here. O for my little French Pages now, I shall sting them i'faith.  Anto. 
Nay go in? you shall sup with me; The rest of your clothes and moneys to boot shall honestly be given to you.  Pyro. 
I do believe you Sir, I will attend upon you.  Exeunt Anto. and Pyrop. Vinc. 
What sport shall I have now; If it were not too late I would go to Loggats with the Mariners; well— I'll go watch the Comers by, and snatch Hats with the Pages; or else I'll go throw Stones at some or other; O I love that sport alive: but first I'll go pin this Fox's tail at some bodies back: Oh Fine, and pat. Here comes Company.   

The Tenth SCENE of the Fifth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Ignoramus and Torcol understand from Trico all the whole story concerning Isabel, and Antonio; but Torcol knew before that Rosabella was born in England; and because he shall receive her money, and Ignoramus the six hundred Crowns, they both of them forbear to lay any claim to Rosabella, being along ago the espouse of Antonio. Vince makes sport with Ignoramus, and pinneth to his back a Fox's tail.  Torcol, Trico, Ignoramus, Dullman, Vince, Musaeus. Tric. 
IT is as I say, i'faith.  Igno. 
Well, well; Then much good d'it them.  Torc. 
Because we shall have our moneys again I am glad that Rosabella Anotonio's Love is found to be Isabel; I knew before that she was born in England and stolen away by Vrtade; and that my Brother Alphonsus did adopt her for his Daughter, but I carefully did conceal it both from her and others in the hope of Gain.  Igno. 
If Rosabella before were the Spouse of Antonio and by consequence in Covert Barn, I am glad I did not marry her, x fuisset maritagium amissum per defaltam, lest the marriage should be null by default.  Tric. 
Per defaltam— you say right Patron.  Igno. 
I am contented therefore, my Client, If your Master en ce cas de dissesein will pay back unto me my six hundred Crowns.  Tric. 
On the reputation of this Chain, he will Content you.  Vin. 
A pox on't, 'Twill not stick; Lend me a great Pin some body; O here's one.  Torc. 
In the mean time, whiles Ignoramus is telling forth the Money, Trico give me the Chain.  Igno. 
Give it you, nay give it me I say: Give it me, or else I will make Distress.  Torc. 
Here take it Signior, take it.  Tric. 
But first let us be friends and shake hands; Give me your hand, Signior Torcol.  Torc. 
Because thou hast carried thyself so handsomely all along in this business, Trico here it is.  Tric. 
Patron Ignoramus now give me your hand, and here take this Chain in earnest.  Igno. 
Oh— well said Client, I'll put it about my neck; now Trico I give you my hand; and I give it to you Torcol.  Torc. 
O Signior baso las manas.  Igno. 
I will touch this chain, to see if it be good Gold or not; Oh 'tis good good; I will now show myself full of Courtesy till my Crowns be paid back unto me, afterwards I will do, as I think good myself. Oh my good Client take both my hands, imbraso te.  Tric. 
Oh my Patron how much am I enamoured on you?  Igno. 
I am full of Courtesy now, and as full of Craft; For all this if I catch them at Westminster, I will tickle them. Who is there behind them now? Ha!  Vinc. 
Oh Sir, I perceive you are my own Countryman; I have a Latin to make, For God's sake help me. What's Latin for an Alehousekeeper?  Igno. 
Tiplator cervisiae Boy.  Vinc. 
I thank you Sir; and what's Latin for a Tester?  Igno. 
Sixpence, Anglicè a Tester.  Vinc. 
Why this is sixpence for a Tester, what have I got got by it? and what's for a Shoemaker Sir?  Igno. 
In dicto Comitatu Shoemaker.  Vinc. 
And what Sir, is a black Velvet Cap upon the hinder part of a red speckled Hogshead?  Igno. 
By'r Lady that's hard; It is pileus de nigro velvet super occiput capitis porci, coloris red speckle.  Vinc. 
I can make as good Latin as this in bas and in bus in orum and arum: As thus; your worshipporum is a noddicockorum in a velvet Capparum.  Igno. 
I'll tell your Master sirrah, of you i'faith. I'll bring you to a Noun, your Hose shall go down.  Vinc. 
Nay good Sir, make me one Latin more; what's a Fox-tail pinned at a Fools back: a fool is hic stultus I know.  Igno. 
Is it even so indeed? a rod, a rod, what's your Master's Name sirrah?  Vinc. 
As in praesenti; Sir, you know him well enough.  Igno. 
What? Qui, quae, quod, here i'faith? I'll tell your Master. What's that they look, and laugh at, Dullman? what's behind me there?  Dullm. 
It is a Fox-tail indeed Master; Tenes in Foxtayl jam; vis me virgare hunc puerum, will you have me jerk this boy.  Igno. 
Do, if you can?  Vinc. 
Come, come, and if you dare, I have stones here i'faith.  Dullm. 
Will you, what! will you throw stones?  Vinc. 
I that I will.  Dullm. 
O my shins!  Vinc. 
It was well hit; now I'll away. Exit Vince.  Igno. 
Let us go, and receive the Crowns.  Dullm. 
I can hardly go, he hath so lamed me.  Tric. 
My Master desires your company to sup with him.  Igno. 
Say you so? Alloons.  Tric. 
Dullman; To make the period more grateful give me your hand also.  Dullm. 
Pox on you, you were Mendoza.  Tric. 
Wine, and Sack, Dullman.  Dullm. 
Well I forgive you for the Sack.  Igno. 
What? Do you come but now Musaeus, you are your own Man, you have no Master to serve, Have you! Well; alloons, alloons.  They all go into the House of Theodorus.  

The Eleventh SCENE of the Fifth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Enter Cupes, and Cola, with the Victualler, and Wenches of pleasure, Polla comes among them, and Cupes being afraid of her, doth hide himself under the Gown of his Confessor Cola; where lying close and undiscovered, he heareth her, amongst other things, confessing that Cola commonly doth lie with her; Cupes, in a great passion cometh forth; and both of them, being very bad livers, they presently pardon one another, and reconcile themselves into a perfect friendship.  The Victualler, Cupes, Cola, Wenches, and Pola. Victu. 
I Have procured you Wenches, but at no easy rate I dare assure you.  Cup. 
Well— there's the Money I promised you, Let Supper be served in suddenly and handsomely; In the mean time let these Beauty's delight us with some merry and stirring Song.  Victual. 
What you command shall be suddenly sent in.  Exit Victualler. Cup. 
Now my sweet Friends, what fine new Songs have you?  Col. 
Let us hear 'em, Dear Loves, Be not too modest; I will absolve you every one of you.  Poll. 
It was told me just now that my husband was here with a Company of Whores. If I can find him, I'll make him the most miserable Creature living.  Cup. 
I am utterly undone if she discovers me. Confessor, I pray give me leave to hide myself a little while under your Gown till she be gone.  Col. 
Do, and if she asks me for you, I will say I saw you not.  Poll. 
Oh, Have I found you! you are those bold delicate whores that do so corrupt my husband. Be gone, you filthy stinking Ware; Be gone. Exeunt Wenches.  Col. 
I will take this Book into my hand, as if I were full of Contemplation.  Poll. 
I see his Companion, he is not far off himself I am confident; Cola! why Brother Cola, why Cola I say, What are you grown deaf with a pox to you? Lay by your book, and look on me, and answer me.  Col. 
Be gone I pray, and interrupt me not, I am now in a deep meditation upon my Lent-Sermons.  Poll. 
Come hither I pray; I must needs speak with you.  Col. 
In troth I am not at leisure, I pray excuse me; One of my best Meditations had almost quite slipped out of my memory.  Poll. 
You shall not stay a jot.  Col. 
Disturb me not now, I beseech you.  Poll. 
But tell me then, where is my good husband?  Col. 
He is not here you see, but wheresoever he is, he is religiously covered with a Friars Hood.  Poll. 
What is he still in a Friar's habit exorcising the wives of other men?— could I but catch him at it— but 'tis no matter, I will e'en let him alone, and pay him home with the same coin. Brother, if you love me, let us go in together.  Col. 
I am now extremely busy; but what should I do within?  Poll. 
Why you shall exorcise me in the same manner as he doth exorcise other women; I desire to be even with him; It will be a sweet Revenge.  Col. 
O harbour not so evil a thought?  Pol. 
An evil thought! you told me heretofore. It was a Case of Conscience.  Col. 
Fie! what Case of Conscience? Hold your tongue.  Pol. 
Have you not often told me, that if the Husband lay with another Woman, it was lawful for his wife to lie with another Man; you give the very same law to Titius as you did unto Sempronius.  Col. 
Did I? when?  Poll. 
Why do you dissemble so? the last time you lay with me; you know I speak the Truth.  Col. 
Hold your peace for shame, I never lay with you; Oh, oh, oh. Cupes pincheth him by the Legs.  Poll. 
What's the matter?  Col. 
I know not what a Devil it is. A Flea I think stings me under my Gown.  Poll. 
There is another Flea that stingeth me under my Coats; prithee let's go in.  Cup. 
Let us go in; Nay stay you impudence; Cupes starteth from under the Friar's Gown. I now come out as from the Trojan Horse, Jam capta es Troja & Trojae vastator Achilles, Now thou art taken and fair Troy brought under; and thou Achilles that brave Troy didst plunder.  Poll. 
O strange! How came you hither?  Cup. 
O Polla, O Cola, What do the Fleas sting you? O two most shameless Creatures!  Poll. 
Believe me Husband, All that I said was in Jest.  Col. 
Yes on my credit, 'twas all in Jest.  Cup. 
Do you so jest with a pox to you? Ah Polla, I did here conceal myself on purpose to take you.  Poll. 
Nay, being conscious of your own guilt, you here did hide yourself; Cupes I know it very well.  Cup. 
Be it so! let us shake hands then Polla? we are quit.  Col. 

Cum sitis similes, paresque vita,  
Vxor pessima, pessimus maritus,  
Miror tam malè convenire vobis   

Since both resemble, and are like in life,  
A quicked Husband, and as bad a wife,  
'Tis strange, betwixt you should be so much strife.   
Or 
Since like in face, as in your lives you be,  
A wicked wife, a husband bad as she,  
I wonder much you do no more agree.   Poll. 
But now my Cupes, for the time to come we shfll agree better.  Cup. 
Sayst thou so? let us seal it with a Kiss.  Col. 
For the time to come, Live together in Love and Union.  Cup. 
Yes, brother Cola, and without your Benedictions, and Cases of Conscience; In all other considerations I shall deport myself unto you as a Friend.  Col. 
My dear Polla go before, I will follow you immediately.  Col. 
Come! Let us now go to our Wenches.  Poll. 
Husband, I'll go home, unless you have any business for me. Exit Polla.  Cup. 
Come Cola, Let us go; Although you are a very Knave, yet I know you love me.  Col. 
At the very heart of me.   

The Last SCENE of the Fifth ACT.  
The ARGUMENT.  
Cupes and Trico do in the Scene repeat what they have plotted, and acted throughout the whole Play, and for an Epilogue unto all, they drink a Health unto the King.  Trico and Cupes, Trico brings with him a Flagon of Wine, and a Glass to drink in. Tri. 
DO you hear Cupes, Cupes?  Cup. 
My dear Companion Trico.  Tri. 
Cupes I have conveyed this away to drink with thee, we do deserve it, and have carried all things on with delight and mirth. Theodorus hath returned to Ignoramus his six hundred Crowns, and hath nobly satisfied Torcol. Within there is nothing but Feasting, Singing, Laughing, Dancing, Sporting, Imbraceing, and Kisses upon Kisses.  Cup. 
But in earnest Trico I have cause to triumph; for it was brought all about by my Art and Industry.  Tric. 
By yours, nay by mine Cupes, It was I that brought Antonio from Shipboard.  Cup. 
But it was I who frighted Ignoramus away with the Sowgelder's horn.  Tric. 
But Cupes, it was I that propounded the case in law unto him, and did delay him with it, and after that I brought Dullman unto you.  Cup. 
But Trico▪ who was it that counterfeited himself to be Torcol, and suborned Polla for Rosabella? who feigned himself to be Dullman? And who was it that afterwards conveyed away Rosabella? Was it not Trico?  Cup. 
But Trico▪ who was the Friar that was the Exorcist, and confirmed Theodorus in his Error?  Tri. 
But Cupes—  Cup. 
But Trico— Hold thy peace, Thou shalt never this day overcome me in wit or waggery.  Tric. 
I must confess indeed we have both of us acted our parts sufficiently, but, but, who invented—  Cup. 
Invenit Trico, Sculpsit Cupes, Trico invented it, but it was Cupes that did engrave it.  Tric. 
Well— let it go so then, but it is the Event, Cupes, that stampeth all things.  Cup. 
Do you misdoubt the Event? There is no cause why you should despair of it, for the Clemency and the Candour of my Lord the King here present (in whose power alone the Event consisteth) doth promise a happy and a successful Issue, and let us drink a health to the confirmation of it.  Tric. 
Nay, rather let us begin a health and make it sacred to the great Master, and the Lord of the Event itself; for in his health alone, are all our healths comprehended—  Cup. 
I take the Omen, Spectators I oblige you that this night, and to morrow, at the least, you will both consent unto, and be supernaculously punctual on the solemn observation of it.  Tric. 
And as for those who wilfully will not take it, let them have Wives more raanting, and clamorous than Polla.  Cup. 
Let them be more stupid than the stupid Dullman, and verier Coxcombs than the Coxcomb Ignoramus.  Tri. 
And by the help of the Hangman, let them hold their heads more awry, then Torcol himself.  Cup. 
Let their prayers be like Surdaes, and may they be no more apt to hear them.  Tric. 
May that which they drink never go through them, you therefore who would avoid so great misfortunes, and do desire that all things may fall out successfully unto you; pray for the health of our most happy, pious, and most Illustrious Lord the King, with the same cheerful affection and devotion as ourselves, and celebrate it (as it becomes you all) with your loudest plaudits.    

EPILOGUE.  Igno. 
HIst, hist, Servate pacem cum manibus, Vos ridetis, & plauditis, sed quid jam postea fiet de vestro povero Ignoramo? nam nisi habemus Supersedeas de non molestando, fratres mei Ignorami me molestabunt sine moderatá misericordiâ, & vester poverus Ignoramus est bootatus, & spurratus (ut videtis) ire ad Londinum, sed sine protectione Regali non audet ire ultra Barkeway aut Ware ad plus. Quare, serenissime Domine, supplico ut concedas per literas tuas patentes salvum conductum mihi, & consortibus meis. Vos Monseiurs huic supplicationi, si placet, vestras manus apponite.  Ignor. 
Hist, Hist, Keep the King's peace with your hands; You laugh and applaud, but what shall now become of your poor Ignoramus? for if we procure not a supersedeas de non molestando, the Ignoramuses my brethrens, will molest us without mercy or moderation; and your poor Ignoramus is now booted, and spurred (as you see) to ride to London, but without the King's protection he dares go no further than Barkeway, or Ware at the furthest. Wherefore (most illustrious Sir) I Petition that by your Letters Patents, you would grant a safe conduct to me, and my Associates; And do you, Gentlemen, if you please, put your hands to this Petition.  
FINIS.