AN HISTORICAL ROMANCE OF THE WARS, Between the Mighty GIANT GALLIENO, And the Great KNIGHT NASONIUS, And His ASSOCIATES.  
— ridentem dicere verum  
Quis vetat?—  
Doublin: Printed in the Year 1694.   
AN HISTORICAL ROMANCE OF THE WARS, etc.  

CHAP. I. How the Mighty Giant Gallieno dealt with other Princes, and how they joined in a Confederacy against him.  
SOmetimes in the famous and rich Country of Luyslandia reigned a mighty Giant, by name Gallieno, by some called also Grandissimo, who for his great Prowess and Warlike Exploits became Terrible to all his Neighbours: in so much, that no Man, tho' never so hardy, was able to compare with him in Feats of Arms, or by plain Force or Policy to Encounter Him. He had already Subdued the fair Countries of Lothoringia, Alsatia, Millesia, with part of Trapezond, Calatonia and Inferiana; and made Inroads into other Places; and was now grown so formidable as all Men stood in great dread of him. This Gallieno was moreover a great Necromancer, for he had at his devotion many Familiar Spirits, who gave him notice of the Strength, and all the Secret Designs of other Princes; So that nothing could be hid from him that he desired to know. He had also by the same wonderful Art got all his Cities and Castles enchanted, so that no mortal Power was able to take them, and a damnable Spell set round about his Dominions, in so much, that scarce any Enemy could enter them; or, if he did, he could not stay there long, and wished afterwards he had never come there at all. After which, having, as he thought, made all things Safe and Sure, he surceased from War, and led his Life in Quiet and Pleasure; right-glad of the many Conquests he had made: But it fortuned, that as he slept one night in his Bed, he saw in his Dream many Armed men of several Nations come against him on all sides, threatening him with their Swords, Pikes and Guns, as if they meant to kill him: Whereupon awaking, and calling up Mephostophilo, one of his familiar Spirits, and ask him what it meant, he answered and said unto him, My dread Lord, This is no Dream, but the very Truth, which I have revealed unto you in your sleep: There are many Nations who, envying your Greatness, are now bandying against you in Council, to bereave you of what you have got by force of your Arms, and of your own Inheritance to boot. Which as soon as Gallieno heard, he sent for all his Under-Giants, and Great Officers, to Surprise their Towns before they could be in a readiness to oppose him, which they did accordingly, especially in Trapezond, otherwise called Regomania.  
Now the chief Princes and Potentates, who had joined into an Association against Gallieno, were these, Austriaco the Great Emperor of Trapezond, Don Ibero Formalitoso the Proud, the Duke of Bawwaw, Tricongio; with many other Potentates of Regomania; and lastly, the dreadful many headed Monster, called Hydra, whose property it was to spit out Flames of Fire in the midst of the Water; I do not mean that Hydra, which in times of Yore (as Historical Romances do inform us) was quelled by the Famous Champion Sir Hercules; for this was a Water. Hydra of another kind, and living under the Sea, was for that reason of great repute in the Court of the Sea-God Neptune, who was a great Friend to it on all Occasions, except when its Demerits, or the blustering Affronts of God Aeolus do put him into an ill humour. Now this Monster Hydra was mightily afraid of the Great Giant Gallieno, having heard by Tradition, that he was descended of the Race of the most Valiant Knight Sir Hercules; but especially since he had by his Necromancy got the trick of spitting Fire on the water, as well or better than itself; Wherefore, tho' this Hydra was half Panim, yet those Christian Princes were glad of its Assistance against the Giant Gallieno, as dreading his great Prowess, and standing in great fear of his Necromantic Policy: Besides the Monster Hydra was Powerfully abetted by one of the Idol-Goddesses they chiefly worshipped, called Mammoneta, to which they were particularly devoted, and often Sacrificed to her some of their Children and Relations, by exposing them to the Throw in Storms (as their Heathenish Custom was) to the bottom of the Sea for her sake. And yet this many-headed Monster Hydra was all this while (as being born and bred in the Sea) more Fish than Flesh: It had the Head and Face of a Man, the Beard of a Goat, the Neck of a Bull, and the Belly of a Hog, but was of the nature of a Herring, of which, for the most part it fed; It had also a slight Cross on the Forehead (tho' the mark of it was for the most part half worn out) but no sign at all of Christianity any where else. Yet for Neptune's sake. and the assistance they hoped from Mammoneta, even those Christian Princes were right-glad to have the Monster Hydra on their Side; and indeed it was no shallow Monster, but as Crafty and Politic as any of them all, and knew how to watch for its Advantage very Sedulously, especially when there was any Money to be got or kept.   

CHAP. II. How Nasonius, the Famous Knight of the Hydropic Land got into high Esteem there; and how he disgusted Fortuna in attempting to ravish the Amazonian Lady Victoria.  
NOW so it fortuned that in times of Yore, the Hydra Commonwealth had great Wars against their own King Don Ibero, against whom they had rebelled; and tho' they had very many Heads, yet, being more Fishermen than Soldiers, they had never a good one fit to lead an Army, or at lest none so good as the noble Kt. Nasonius, who in all Justs and Tournaments had behaved himself right-valiantly, and won much Renown: For which reason those of his Family and their Descendants were, out of mere necessity, by the Hydropic Commonwealth chosen to be their Generals in War, which they call the Hydra-holder: by which means they came to that Power, that one of them attempted to Sear one of the Heads of the Hydra, and that was the greatest of them, called Emporiana, but living under water, it gushed forth such Floods upon his approach, that it quenched all his Irons. Now in the time of the War with the Giant Gallieno, it happened that Hydra had for its General a hardy Knight of the Nasonian Family, who was for a particular Reason very visible to be seen, Height Nasonious; who had behaved himself so craftily, that though many of the Heads hated him for his high and proud Humour, yet there was some others that Loved, and more that feared him, the which bred much difference between the Heads; yet all of them having but one Body, they never fell to open Wars with one another. This Famous Knt. Nasonius, being, as great Warriors used to be, exceeding Amorous, and much given to court fair Ladies, had a long time made Suit to Dame Fortuna, not regarding her want of Sight, (a great Blemish in a Mistress) but hoping by her means to get great Wealth, Dignity, and high Preferment, after which he gaped exceedingly; which gave some shrewd Lavish Tongues occasion to talk at random, seeing him (like the noble Knight Sir Hudibras) more to value the Advantages than the Woman. His Suit had this Effect, That she requited his good Will with divers Favours, and promised to do him some friendly Offices; but being of a Nature very fickle and unconstant, she would not consent to marry any Man, or to hold to him very long; but carelessly scattered her Kindnesses here and there, as if she regarded not much to whom she gave them; Nay, it was very hard for any but a very wise Man to enjoy her Friendship any long time, and for that reason it was suspected, that she did secretly affect, if any, the Politic Giant, K. Gallieno. Now it happened that Dame Fortuna had a Relation of hers, called the Lady Victoria, a Stately and Majestic Dame, of the Noble Race of the Amazons: her Fortuna (being blind herself) thought might be a fit Match for the Kt. Nasonius, and that by this means she might requite his Love to herself; and therefore she broke her Mind to him on this manner: Noble Knight, tho' I find in myself no inclination to marry any Man living, and experience my Humour to be such, that I shall never be constant to my Husband, and therefore desire you to Court me no more upon that score; Yet to make you some amends for your Kindness, I let you know that I have a Beautiful and Stately Kinswoman of mine, height Victoria, descended from the warlike-Race of the Amazons, and sought to by a great many Great Kings and Princes, whom, if you can by Gentle and wise Courtship, and fair, and valiant Carriage win to affect you; I, for your Love to me, give my Consent; and when you have her, you may be sure to have me for your Friend. To whom the Noble Kt. Nasonius being indeed the very Pink of Courtesy, tho' his Nature and Education did not enable him to express it but with a very ill grace) with an Obeisance so low, that his Nose almost touched the Ground, did with much Courtesy answer.  
Excellent Lady, or rather Goddess! I esteem myself much bound to you for this your Grace and Favour; I have heard much of the incomparable Perfections of the most accomplished Lady Victoria: Indeed I have never had the Luck to see her, though I sought after her much; which I impute to the Necromancy of the wicked Giant Gallieno: For when I attempted to wait upon her, and let her know how passionately I doted on her rare Perfections, as soon as I came near the Place where she used to be, he did by his Enchantments raise from Hell such a Smoke and Fire, that I could not come at her sight, and sent down such Showers of Hailstones, as big as Bullets, as no mortal Man might abide them; So that I was still forced to retire, and was divers times in danger of my Life, had I not ran away: To avoid which, if you please to bring her near my Tent in this time of Truce and Peace with him, I will be ready to receive her; For you know it is the Fashion of Knights never to Court any Amazonian Lady but in their Tents. Dame Fortuna liked well of what he said, and persuaded the fair Lady Victoria to come with her into the Field, not far from his Tents, and seeing him come to meet her, civilly withdrew herself. But Nasonius no sooner cast his Eye upon Victoria, and saw he had her now at an advantage, and in his Power; but he was so enamoured of her, that, neglecting all Courtship, and decent Treaty, contrary to the Laws of Chivalry, and fair Carriage becoming a Knight, he most dishonourably set upon her by Surprise, and attempted to ravish her even in the open Field: Who, tho' being an Amazonian Lady, she stoutly resisted him, and had she but foreseen such a Rudeness, and had been armed ready for him, she could easily have beaten him (for unfair Fighters are generally Cowards) yet having laid unworthy violent hands upon her, he kept her as his Prisoner, falsely pretending she was won by the Law of Arms, and could his disobliging Persuasions have prevailed, he would have kept her still as his Concubine. But she in great disdain refused it, and writ to her Aunt Dame Fortuna on this wise.  
Dear Aunt,  
I AM most shamefully and dishonourably abused by the recreant Knight Nasonius; for he no sooner had me in his Power, but, forgetting all Knightly Honour, he set upon me to ravish me. You know I never liked the Man, because he was rash, foolish and inconsiderate, wanting both Conduct and Wisdom, and I was absolutely resolved never to marry a Mock Soldier: As also, to tell you true, because my Fancy had a strange aversion against his ill-looked Phisnomy, his Slavering Mouth, Lean-Chaps, Spindle-shanks, and Paramont Nose; which, to tell you my very Thoughts, I never saw, but it caused in me an horrible Loathng. Besides, I like his Rustic churlish Humour far worse than all the rest: Nor can that Man have the le●st regard for Honour, or be Master of true Valour, who thus proudly tramples underfoot all Considerations of Virtue and Worthiness by which base and ignominious Actions. And though it was your Will I should go along with you to visit him, yet I assure you I went with an intention to let him know how much I scorned him, and how unworthy he was of my Affection. I request you therefore to join with me in revenging such an impardonable Affront, without which, I can receive no Comfort.  
Your Sorrowful Niece, VICTORIA.  
WHen Dame Fortuna had perused this lamentable Letter of her Beloved Niece Victoria, she was so enraged that none came in her way but had some mischief or other happened to them: Some had their Necks broken, some were burned or drowned, some were hanged, some died of sudden Diseases, others lost their Wits, and others their Estates by Casualties, etc. At length rushing into Nasonius' Tent, who was imperiously Proud, and puffed up with the imprisonment of Victoria, she thus accosted him.  
Base Varlet, and no Knight! How hast thou abused my kindness, in using Victoria so dishonourably, and now triumphest that thy wickedness took Effect! Hear then what I say unto thee, and what my Sisters the Fates have decreed concerning thee. Though I cannot altogether recall my words by which I promised thee good luck in divers things; Yet this Curse shall go along with it, That thou shalt never have Success but in ill things, and by means of ill Men, which shall at last turn to thy greater infamy with all truly Noble and disinterested Persons, and bring thee in the End to the greatest Shame and utter Destruction. As for the renowned Giant Gallieno, to overcome whom thou bendest all thy small and borrowed Power, he shall perpetually prevail against thee, and thy dishonourable Associates: And either force you to truckle to his great Might, managed by the wisest Policy, and sue for Peace, or else utterly subdue you. And so fare thee ill.  
With that she flung away out of his Tents, and left him in Melancholy Damps, and an unspeakable disturbance of Mind, which (as some Authors write) made him, as his Custom was, groan backwards, which left an ill savoured Scent behind it.   

CHAP. III. How the invincible Giant, King Gallieno, sent the valiant Grandorsio to deliver the fair Lady Victoria from her unjust Captivity.  
AS soon as Dame Fortuna's Passion was over, and that having vented her angry Freaks, and recovered her Wits again, the want of which had caused many disasters to sundry Persons; she set herself to consider by what means she might be revenged on the Recreant Kt. Nasonius, and set her Niece at Liberty; and nothing seemed to her more proper and effectual than to stir up the Mighty Giant Gallieno to undertake the Lady Victoria's Quarrel, and to redeem her from her thraldom; and therefore she caused a Letter to be writ to him after this manner.  
To the invincible Giant Gallieno.  
Right Puissant Prince:  
IT is not unknown to your Mightiness how base and unknightly the Recreant Kt. Nasonius has dealt with the Lady Victoria, when pretending all Peace and Love, he set upon her, and most foully intended to ravish her, and how he still keeps her as his Prisoner. Wherefore, my humble request is, for the love you bear to Honour, and the compassion your Generous Soul has for distressed and abused Ladies, you would employ your irresistible Strength and Power both to take Satisfaction for the Affront done to all our Sex in general, and to myself and her particularly, by revenging it upon that dishonourable Kt.; and withal to rescue Victoria from her unlawful and undeserved Captivity. By doing which, she will owe you herself, and you shall also have, as far as her changeable Nature permits, for  
Your constant Friend FORTUNA.  
Which Letter, when the Noble Giant had read, he answered it on this wise.  
To the Great Lady Fortuna.  
Madam,  
THis is not the first time the ignoble wretch Nasonius has stained his Knightly Honour by foul Actions, tho' this is the foulest he ever did. There needs no other motive but the indignity of the thing, and the dear Respects I bear the Noble Lady Victoria to stir me up to revenge it upon him, and also to rescue her. Besides that, by a just Title that Lady should once have been Spouse to myself. Doubt not then of my performing your request both for her sake and my own; Only because you know how Nasonius is supported by the ignoble Hydra, and other Powerful Associates; therefore, after I have delivered her, you must give me time to take my full revenge of the Hydra and Him; For I must not wrong the regular Methods of my Conduct which I have very severely observed, by entering on any rash Action: As for your assistance, I do not desire you to strain your Nature for my sake, but as far as in you lies to stand by an indifferent Spectator. I know the Fates, to whose decrees you are subject, may sometimes make you look askew upon me, to teach me to acknowledge, and to submit to their Sovereignty. However, I shall hope for this favour from them and you too, That I be never crossed in my well laid designs, but in such circumstances that all the World may see, that 'tis not through want of Wisdom or Conduct, but by an overruling Providence, to which all Human Power and Prudence is subject; That highest point of Honour, I must confess, I do value myself upon, and would not willingly forfeit it, and while I preserve that Temper, I fear not any great opposition from yourself or the Fates either, who are still wont to be favourable to those who are wary and prudent.  
Your Servant, GALLIENO.  
After King Gallieno had dispatched away this Letter to Dame Fortuna by his trusty Servant Mephostophilo, he called unto him one of his greatest and most valiant Under-Giants height Grandorsio, and thus said unto him; Go Grandorsio, and according to the Orders I shall give thee, take revenge of the Recreant Knight Nasonius, who, (as thou remember'st well) attempted to ravish the excellent Lady Victoria; Beat him wherever thou dost find him. But, above all, be sure that thou dost rescue that Lady, and bring her hither to my Court, for which I do give thee my full Power and Commission; I shall send my other Commanders against the rest of the Associates, but I make schoice of thee for this Exploit, knowing rightwell how much both the Hydra, Don Ibero, and Nasonius himself do stand in dread of thy Prowess.  
Right-glad was the valiant Knt. Grandorsio of this Commission, and therefore returning his most humble Thanks to K. Gallieno for honouring him with such a wished Command, and assuring him of his utmost devoir, he addressed himself to this Noble Expedition; and finding out Nasonius in the Head of the Hydropic Army, he set upon him with such Courage and Conduct, that he put him to the Rout, took his Tents, and by that means, got the Lady Victoria into his Power, and set her free; who in recompense of that favour took a stately Belt, which according to the fashion of the Amazonian Ladies she daily wore, and girt it about him, saying thus unto him; Wear this, Renowned Grandorsio, for my sake, and be thou ever Victorious against this Monster of Men Nasonius, for know that there is that hidden Charm in this Belt, that whoever has freed a distressed Lady, and shall wear it, shall be sure to prevail still against his Enemies in the Field. Great was the joy of the Noble Grandorsio to receive such an honourable Reward from so Gallant a Lady: But much more to haué performed King Gallieno's Command. So putting the Lady Victoria into a Coach, lined with Crimson Velvet, inlaid with Oriental Pearls, and most costly precious Stones, and hung round with Ensigns taken from the Enemy; he accompanied her to Tutelia, where the mighty Giant Gallieno kept his Royal Court; whither she was very desirous to, both to render her Thanks to her Great Deliverer, as also to have the sight of the most Magnanimous, and most Magnificent King living.   

CHAP. IU. How this Amazonian Lady Victoria arrived at King Gallieno's Court, and after what a Noble manner she was courted by him.  
AS soon as the Heroic King Gallieno heard of the Delivery of the fair Lady Victoria, and that she was coming to his Court, he was right-glad thereof, and went in great Pomp himself to meet her, and conduct her to his Stately Palace: At their first encounter, he alighted out of his Coach of Ebony, and taking her by the Hand, led her into it: Twenty thousands of his Royal Guard gallantly attired, and armed at all points, were ranked on both sides the Coach, and accompanied her to the Royal City Tutelia; into which, when he was about to enter, Command was given, that all the Bells should ring: The Streets were covered with rich Tapestry, bestrowed with the most choice Flowers, the beauteous Daughters of the Spring, no less delightful to the Eye, than Odoriferous to the Smell: The Guns were discharged ten several times; the Conduits ran with Wine: The Altars sent up the sweet Perfumes of Incense to Heaven; and in a word, all the Solemnities were used, that might express a most affectionate Welcome.  
The Lady Victoria was entertained in a Majestic Palace, curiously adorned with the most costly Furniture in all Luyslandia, and accompanied by all the Princesses of the Blood, and Ladies of the Court: whose attire was so acquaint and admirable, and their Demeanour so Charmingly civil, that the Noble Amazon, surprised with wonder, thought herself happily translated from a kind of Hell of misery, to the Joys of Heaven: where K. Gallieno coming to visit her, would have seated her in a Chair of State next himself; but she modestly refused, and humbly requested she might first perform the Duty to which she was obliged both by Gratitude and Honour; and so falling on her Knees, she began this Oration. Invincible Monarch! How much is your Servant Victoria obliged to you for your Goodness and Valour in freeing her from the slavish thraldom in which she was detained by the unworthy Knight Nasonius! For not to speak of his former rude Behaviour (which is shameful to remember) a Dungeon had been as welcome to any Noble Personage, as were their following Civilities to make amends for that basest of Injuries. I had no Company but that of illbred Boars, and which was worse of all, that of Nasonius himself, whose ill-humoured Conversation, even, when he was in highest Mood, bred in me an unspeakable abhorrence. Not one action did I see; not one discourse did I hear amongst them to divert my Grief, that had the least resemblance of a Gentlewoman: Their Mirth was unsavoury Taunt, their Wit dulness itself, their Compliments rustic, their Language harsh, and grating to a Lady's Ear; Their Carriage Brutish, and their very Eloquence Hoggish: Besides the hourly expectation of further rudeness from their Bear-like Natures. But oh! how quite contrary do I find every thing here! Wisdom polished and mixed with Sweetness, Civility, Decency, grateful Conversation, noble Receiption, and highest Magnificence: Accept then, Glorious Monarch, the humblest Thanks of your ever indebted Servant Victoria, with her firm Vows never to forget such invaluable Obligations.  
Having thus said, the Noble Gallieno rising up, took her kindly by the hand, and told her, That such actions were their own reward, and that whilst she stayed there, she might command all, and use the same freedom in every thing, as if she had received no benefit from him at all: for that he sought not Interest but Glory, and placed his greatest Glory in performing honourable and valiant Actions, especially to those noble Personages who were injured by unworthy Men, and sought to him for Redress.  
The next day King Gallieno gave order for Knightly Exercises of Justs and Tournaments in which the warlike Lady took especial Content. At night Operas were shown, sung with most ravishing Music, the subject of which were the Lawless Imprisonment, and the corpse Entertainment of the Lady Victoria in her unjust Confinement in the Hydropic Camp, representing the rustickness of her jailors, and her Noble Sufference: And lastly, her deliverance by the valiant Giant Grandorsio. To close all the Solemnity, Balls too were prepared: But the Heroic Lady, not much delighting therein, excused herself with much civility, as not being the Custom of her Country, or suitable to her Genius or Education.  
Some days after King Gallieno called together an assembly of all the Princes, Princesses, and Nobility of his Court, and invited thither also the fair Amazonian Lady Victoria; every one wondering what this august meeting of so many great Personages should mean; when the King taking the Lady Victoria by the right hand did in the hearing of them all deliver his Mind on this manner. Incomparable Lady, I understand that yourself, for your excellent Beauty, and Heroic Endowments, have been sought to by all the greatest Princes and Potentates in the World for their Spouse: wherefore my request is, that you would please, in the presence of this Great, and Honourable Assembly, to declare your Mind freely, which of them you think most worthy to be your Husband: in doing which, I desire you to set aside entirely that small Title, that some may judge I have to your Affection, since I wholly quit all the obligations it may be conceived you owe me, leaving you fully to your own Choice, nor would I yet have yourself, or any others, deem that this frank proposal of mine springs from any indifferency towards your Person, or signifies any sleightness of Affection to so excellent a Lady, fit to be a Wife to the greatest Monarch in the World; but because I esteem it honourable not to restrain you in the least while you are in my hands, much less to force you unlawfully as did the Recreant Knight Nasonius: For I should have courted you for myself, but that I feared my applications might have been looked upon by you, or interpreted by others as a kind of over-awing you from following your own inclinations: In which Point of Honour I am so tenderly sensible, that it would damp all my felicity in enjoying you, should I apprehend, that my procuring that Deliverance, or any involuntary Tie upon you, had the least share in a determination, which ought to be the most free and unforced of any Action in the World. Please then to speak your Mind freely, as if you had the sole Command over me and all my Actions and Dominions: Assuring you of my faithful Promise, that (how highly soever I wish it may be my Lot to be your choice) whoever renders himself worthy of you, I will with all disinterested freedom render you back to be his Spouse.  
To which the Lady Victoria, after some short Pause, with a lowly Bow, full of Respect and gracious Demeanour, replied in this wise. Invincible Monarch! This Modesty of yours where you may command is the highest Compliment, and most Eloquent Courtship, that is possible to be imagined. Whom can I better choose than my Noble Deliverer, to whom I owe my Safety, my Liberty, and myself; I resign myself therefore wholly into your hands, and submit myself entirely to your disposal, as your constant and loyal Spouse. Hoping that your unparalleled Worth, most civil Courtship, and highest Merit, will screen the Blushes of my Modesty, and keep the World from censuring me as too easily won: Nay further, I must confess I had been yours long since, had I not been surprised by the treacherous incivilities of the unmanly Knight Nasonius, you having just Title to me by your high Wisdom and Conduct, with which you manage your Affairs both at home and in the field: Only I beg this Boon of you, That when ever you go to the Campaign, I may still be with you, and wait upon you: For I know that my presence joined with his unworthy Gild, will so terrify Nason. that he will not dare to approach where I am; but he shall saunter up and down year after year, with an Army at his heels without doing any thing worthy a Captain, which will expose him to ridicule, and lose him that little Credit he has got among the Boorish, Heads of the Hydra. Indeed, I should have asked the leave of Fortuna, upon whom I have some kind of dependence, before I had made this final Determination: but I have partly her goodwill already; and should she be something out of humour (to which she is now and then obnoxious) and a little frown upon us for a while, I know your wisdom is such as can reclaim her, and recover her Friendship. Which said, she immediately gave him her fair Hand, in Token of her faithful Heart, which he graciously took, and sealed the Contract with a kind Salute, which done, K. Gallieno added these words.  
Excellent Lady! Tho' I am surprised at your Goodness in bestowing upon me so frankly the rich Gift of yourself; yet I desire, if you please, as a thing most becoming your Honour, and Mine, That our Nuptials be deferred till I shall have challenged all my Rivals the Associates to come themselves with their Armies to Tutelia (as they have often bragged they would) and fetch you out of my hands, as I, by Grandorsio forced you out of the hands of Nasonius; and I engage my Royal word, that I will yet part with my Title to you, if they can accomplish it. Your worth is so Great, that the winning you is too easy a Conquest, unless it costs me more trouble than a few Compliments, and an ordinary Entertainment. Nor do I speak this as if I were indifferent to part with a Jewel (which I esteem too valuable for the Mortgage of the whole World to purchase) but because I am assured they neither dare attempt it, nor can compass it; and should they indeed, they would in that case very well deserve you; and so in Honour and Reason, aught to have you.  
All the Assembly stood amazed at such a transcendent strain of Nobleness, which amidst the affectionate Respects and Courtship of a Lover, still kept up to the height, the Grandeur of a Hero. As for the Lady Victoria, she, being all Honour and Courage, most highly applauded this gallant motion, and declared, That K. Gallieno could not possibly have better pleased her humour, than in so doing. Whereupon an Herald was dispatched to the several Associates, to the purpose aforesaid; who carried also, with K. Gallieno's consent. Letters from the Lady Victoria, inciting them by the most powerful Persuasions she could use, to force her out of King Gallieno's hands, and promising that whoever did so, she would therefore be his. What became of the Embassy shall be declared in the following Chapter.   

CHAP. V. How the Luyslandian Herald went to all the Associates challenging them to fetch the Lady Victoria out of King Gallieno's Hands. And what answer he brought back: As also of the solemn Marriage of that Lady with King Gallieno at Tutelia.  
THE Herald having received his Commission sets forward on his Journey: And first he went to the Court of the great Austriaco, Emperor of Regomania; and when he came to deliver his Message, he found him playing a Lesson upon the Lute; and he was so attentive to his Music, that tho' the Herald repeated his Embassy twice or thrice over, he hardly heard him; and when with much ado he rightly understood him, he told him he was a troublesome fellow to disturb his Recreation, and, That as for the Lady Victoria she was such a ticklish Mistress, and had so often deceived his Expectation and scorned his Courtship when he fought against the Half-Moon of the great Emperor Magog; and on divers other occasions had so taken his Master's part, that he did not think it worth his intermitting his Musical Recreation, nor his wearying himself with so long a Journey, much less to meddle with fight for her; in which kind of harsh and untuneable Music he had no Skill. And so without any kind of respect due to such public Messages he bid him be gone, and that neither his Master nor he should trouble him any more with such Impertinencies.  
Next he went to the great King, Don Ibero Formalitoso, and requested one of his Court-Officers to acquaint his Majesty, that there was an Herald come from the mighty Giant King Gallieno, who demanded Audience, but the strutting Courtier drawling out every Syllable with a most formal Gravity, answered him, that his Illustrious Majesty was playing at Shuttlecock, with some Court Ladies, and was yet in Querpo, and that it was against the highest Punctilios of Honour to disturb so great a King in his Pastimes, especially being de Scompuesto. After many tedious delays, he obtained Audience, but not till Don Formalitoso was accoutred in his Royal Habiliments, and seated with great Solemnity in his Chair of State with all the Lords of his Court attending him. To whom when the Herald had declared his Message, and delivered his Letters; Don Ibero Formalitoso with his hands on his sides, and a Mien overlooking all the Company, proudly answered, That it was very easy for him with a puff of his Breath to blow King Gallieno out of Tutelia; but that it did not become the High Majesty of the great King of Iberia to gad out of his Country upon any account whatever. And as for the Lady Victoria, she had played him so many slippery trickss in Calatonia, that he wondered how she durst write to the greatest King in the World, having so often, and so shamefully disobliged him, and so with the waving of his Hand he signified his Pleasure that he should be gone.  
From thence he went to the noble Duke of Bawwawia, whom he found in Company of the rest of the Associates, as Tricongio, etc. Who were all assembled together to consult how they might quell the mighty Giant Gallieno. But they were so high in their Cups, and so distempered with Drinking, that he did not think it seasonable to deliver such an honourable Embassy to Men whose reason was totally drowned in Wine. Wherefore he stayed two or three days longer, hoping by that time he might take them in some Lucid Interval, but he still found them in the same pickle: So that a Friend of his advised him, That if he would needs stay till they are all perfectly Sober, it was his best course to hire a House, to save the charges in an Inn. Yet he obtained of his Friend to acquaint them in the Case they were in, on what Message he came. When one of them, who scarce half understood it, taking it to be some high Compliment sent them by the Persons mentioned; to show he was a generous Foe, and a Man of Honour; after two or three Yawns, having a well-filled Glass in his Hand, began a Health to King Gallieno,, and his Fair Lady; which they all took down very glibly: But not a Man of them remembered what they had done or said, the next Morning. At last he heard that they were all to assemble again the Morrow after at Nine; at which time he hoped it would be a proper season to deliver his Embassy. But they no sooner me●, but they leapt on their Horses (with great troops hallooing and hooting after them) to hunt the wild Boar for nine or ten days. So that the Herald, fearing that the time allowed him for his return would be elapsed; and knowing, that to Lovers, Delays are tedious, would not stay to wait their coming back, but thought sit to haste homewards, taking the Hydra in his way. Where, when he arrived, he found some of the Heads counting their Money; others adjusting their Book-reckoning; some chaffering for Merchandise; others ba●ie about repairing Old rotten Shi●s, and building New Ones, and some of them too, Pickling Herrings. As for their Answer, as the Hydra has many Heads, so they were of divers Sentiments. Many cried out, Let King Gallieno keep Victoria, if he will, what is that to us? This Fight does but spoil our Trade, and our Markets. But the generality of the greatest Heads said, they were busy, and his Errand foolish; For he mistook them, They were not Land-Rats but Water-Rats: But if King Gallieno, who has such a rare Talon at cutting Rivers through the dry-land, would but be at the Charge and Pains, to make the Sea Navigable as far as Tutelia, he should then see what they would do; but, that sure, he could not think them such Fools as to run Knight-Erranting to free Fair Ladies: not they: Let such light Ware sink or swim, or hang, it is all one to them: Profit and Money is all they care for; and that if they could be sure to lose nothing by King Gallieno, or to gain any thing by him, they were his humble Servants.  
He had also a particular Audience of Nasonius; who, when he had heard the Message, and read the Letters, answered surlily, That Victoria might have kept herself well with him whilst she was well, and not to have run to the Luyslandian Court to learn to cut Capers: And for his part, he was not in an humour to run as far as Tutelia to fetch back such a Baggage. And lastly, That since he could not keep her while he had her, he had set up his Resolution, never hereafter to venture himself in any Battle to catch her again; but would continue his Ambition to stand still, and look on, and let them fight who were so foolhardy.  
The well bred Herald wondered at his Incivility, and much more at this strange resolution of a Knight who professed himself a Warrior, and a General. So parting thence, he posted to the Court of Tutelia; and gave an account very particularly of his sleeveless Embassy, and the respective Answers, or No Answers of the several Associates: which made the two Royal Lovers smile, and gave the whole Court plentiful occasion of divertisement, to see what valiant, gentile, pretty-humoured Enemies he had to deal with. And now all rubs being smoothed, Preparation was made for solemnising the Marriage the Week after; which was celebrated with all the Gallantry imaginable. The Particulars of which were so extraordinary, that it would over-task the best Wit in the World to express them to the Life, in their due order as they were performed. Only I cannot omit the Epithalamium made by Philopompus, and sung by a Consort of most harmonious Voices, which was this,  

I  
Celestial Spirits that tune th' Harmonious Spheres,  
With Charming music strike the Ears,  
Of this great Crowd that Celebrate  
The Marriage of the happy Pair:  
Gallieno the Great, Victoria the Fair:  
Rulers both of War and State.  
May ill chance never  
Their Union sever;  
Nor sneaking Treachery their Loves undermine:  
But firm accord,  
In Deed and Word,  
In Honour and Truth, their Noble Hearts Combine.   

II.  
Mars and Bellona joined and Linked in one  
Can ne'er by force be overthrown:  
Wise Conduct guiding their Designs,  
No Multitude of destructed Foes  
Envying their Greatness, spreads, and grows,  
Can work them any Countermine.  
The Associates,  
Weak Kings, base States,  
Whose scattered, ill-knit Rags of unjust War,  
To the World's wonder,  
Torn asunder,  
Shall turn their Brags, and Folly to Despair.   

III.  
May Golden Glories circled their bright Throne;  
And join their Foes Crowns to their own;  
Fair-eyed Peace on their Victory wait;  
Peace! Of all just War the sole End,  
Tho' War alone to Peace can the Obstinate bend.  
Kindness they abuse,  
Who Peace refuse,  
So nobly offered when he could by Force subdue.  
And may they Live  
Crowns to regive  
To injured Princes, who for their Protection sue.    

CHAP. VI How Nasonius treated with the Great Lucifero about driving his Father Eugenius out of his three Kingdoms and get them to himself. And how all the Furies of Hell, were let loose, and sent into Utopia, to stir up the Subjects to Rebellion.  
MAny days together lasted these Nuptial Solemnities, and never was there seen such Universal rejoicing and Feasting throughout Luyslandia, as was at that Season. But it passed far otherwise in the Hydropic Country, and least of all with the discomfited Knight Nasonius. He had suffered the Lady Victoria to be taken from him by plain force: He had utterly lost his Honour as well by getting her unlawfully, as by not being able to keep her. He saw that King Gallieno was like to encroach daily upon the Hydropic Territories, and that little help was to be expected from Don Ibero, whose best Politics were mere folly, his Soldiers half starved for want of Meat and clothes, a●d their Consultations nothing but empty Brags, and haughty Bluster. He knew well much assistance might come to him from the War like Dukes, Bawwaw, Tricongio, and other Potentates of Regomania, had he but Money to hire and pay their Soldiers. But where was that to be had? Himself had lost his own Patrimony in Luyslandia; and was but a pitiful poor Knight himself, or, as some Authors write, but a kind of better sort of Burgher, living mostly upon his Pay as a Soldier, allowed him by the Hydra; and so could spare nothing out of his own Purse. He had an Uncle and Father-in-Law, whose Daughter he had Married height Eugenius King of Utopia, Carduana, and Lyramia; a Pious and mild Prince, after whose Kingdoms he had a long time gaped, and had by the assistance of the Idol Mammoneta, by his private Emissaries sown much discontent, and dissatisfaction towards him amongst his Subjects, and disposed many of them to Rebellion: To which many of them, especially those of the Panym Party were prone enough of themselves, seeing how much their immediate Predecessors had thriven by driving that Devilish Trade. The only difficulty that stuck with him was how he might go about it with Security that he should not miscarry in the attempt, in regard that King Eugenius was of his own nature mild and Merciful, and never burdened his Subjects with Taxes, for which reason he had a very great Party Faithful and Loyal to him. Wherefore Nasonius, to get rid of this Perplexity, called his best Friend, Sodomicus to him; and asked him by what means, (good or bad) he might be certified aforehand, of the success of his undertaking; not doubting but that if it took effect he could do well enough; for than he could either by dissimulation gull the credulous People of Utopia, who were of such an unwary and silly Humour, that they would easily believe all that was told them that sounded maliciously, and even loved to be deluded: Or else he could by Authority crush, or put to death all that durst oppose, or approach to him. He told him too, that he had already consulted the Star-Wizard Sydrophell, but that he answered, he could see no Phaenomena, or Indications of Astrology that could give him any certainty of it; and to tell you true, added Nasonius, I had as live hear him tell me of Pigs, and Sows, and their Sties, as talk to me of Bulls, and Bears, and Lions, and their Celestial Houses. Now to acquaint you, whom I dare trust with my true Thoughts, I had rather apply myself to the Black Art, as the surer way, but that I fear it may be against the Rules of Piety.  
At this Sodomicus could hold no longer. Piety! said he, Are you yet such a Puny, such a Novice in Politics, as to stand upon the weak supports of that sneaking Virtue, Piety? Could the Hydropic Commonwealth ever have been raised, upheld, or grown to this pitch, but by renouncing utterly that puling Consideration? Did we mind Piety when we rebelled against our Lawful King Don Ibero Formalitoso? Or when we robbed foolish Utopia of so many Plantations, Massacred her Merchants in Ambyona, plundered their Warehouses, etc. Or are we ever the worse esteemed for it now? Do we not see how the good-natured Puppies the Vtopians do whine after us, and court our Friendship. Or does any Monarch in the World for that reason refuse to treat with our Ambassadors? I tell you, POWER is all in all: Get but Power, and let the demure Gentlewoman Piety go hang herself. In a word, get b●t Powe●, and what by interested Men, Divines, or others, what by the Authority of great Men who partake of Power, and influence the People; what by the Connivance of the Fearful, which make up the generality, Po●er will be able to justify, nay, to sanctify itself. At these Words, Nasonius embracing him affectionately, cried out in a kind tone. Sodomicus! Better half of myself! Thou hast spoken my very Thoughts, and prevented my declaring that which I would have said, but (pardon my diffidence) durst not openly and abruptly discover. Hereafter therefore assist me with thy Advice, in the pursuit of that glorious End, and thou shalt see that I will in all things follow thy Counsel. There are, said Sodomicus in the Hellish Country of Laplandia, certain old Hags, who have infinite familiarity with the Infernal Spirits, and have often sold Winds to our Countrymen for old Rags, and mouldy Crusts: Over these Beldames there is one of incomparable Skill, height Crampogna, her I would have your Highness send for immediately; follow her profound Advice, and know of her the Event of your undertaking.  
As soon as Nasonius heard this, without further pause, he presently dispatched a Vessel with a Messenger, and such Presents as he was informed would be most acceptable unto her, requesting her attendance on him. The Witch answered, I will be there before thee. And so without any more ado, embarking herself in an Eggshell, or as some Authors say, in a Rotten-Orange-Peel, or as others say, getting a stride upon a Broom-staff, she arrived in the Hydropic Land in the space of two Hours, and signified to Nasonius in his Dream, That he should meet her the next Evening in a Fog, near the side of a stinking Fen, well known unto him. As soon as he came to the place, he saw the grisly Hag with Hollow Eyes, Dishelveld Hair, Lank Cheeks, and Shriveled Chaps, who chattered out this Rhyme.  

Thou art too great,  
With me to Treat;  
Send for my Lord Lucifero,  
And all things well with thee will go.   
Nasonius, though he was courageous enough in bad things, yet at first was something stumbled at this sudden Proposal; but being overshooes in Impiety already, he resolved to wade through: And bade the Witch send for him, or call him up. Whereupon, turning herself nine times round one way, and as often back again, and repeating a long ribble-row of Prayers backwards; at length, in a kind of Extatick Amazement she yelled out,  

Brimstone I smell,  
The Breath of Hell;  
He comes, he flies,  
Through Earth, through Skies.   

Draw near, draw near,  
Appear, appear,  
Not with a Look that may affright,  
But with a Shape that may delight.   
Upon which words appeared Lucifero with Horns on his Head, and a cloven Foot, but in all other appearances, a most accomplished Gentleman: The first word he spoke, he bid Nasonius not to fear, for he was his Friend, and knew well his Design; which was to drive his pious Father out of his three Kingdoms, and get them for himself. Know then, continued he, that it was I that inspired thee with this Thought, and I will carry thee through: only thou must wed spiritually, or take to Wife I mean Concubine, (for we hate all Marriages) my eldest Daughter Ambitiosa Superba; That is, thou must give thy whole Heart to her, hold to her constantly, and follow all her Motions and Inspirations, which done, she with her Maids of Honour will easily bring that design of thine to Perfection.  
Nasonius' thanked him for the high Favour in dignifying him with the Honourable Title of his Son; professing that he had ever loved and adored that Goddess, though (hindered by some foolish Christian Principles, instilled by Education, or taken up upon the Paroll of Preachers; which from henceforward he utterly abjurd) he had not till now made his immediate applications to her great Father, and espoused her: Humbly begging by his good leave a sight of that high-spirited Princess. With that, Lucifero gave a dreadful stamp with his Cloven-Foot, which made the Earth tremble, and crack asunder, when out of the Breach issued forth an horrible Cloud of Bluish Smoke which darkened all the Sky, and that once dissipated, there appeared the stately Lady Ambitiosa with a train of Black-browed Furies, or Fiends attending her: Herself was clad in a gorgeous Robe, with many great Crowns dangling about it, spurning many lesser ones, and trampling them under her Feet. Her lofty Head seemed to reach the very Skies, and her grasping Hand seemed to pull down Heaven itself. But, after a while descending from her height, approaching Nasonius, she took him kindly by the hand, with these words: Here take me, and with me the Glory thou affectest, and the three Crowns thou so much desirest. Acknowledge the great Honour I do thee, and see thou observest me in all things, and so shalt thou be sure to be great as far as thy Cursed Fates will permit thee. See here my Train, my Maids of Honour, who will assist in accomplishing thy Projects, and going before thee into Utopia, so prepare the Minds of those sottish People, who are far the better half at my Father's Devotion already, that thou shalt have little to do but to gather the Fruit, and reap the rich Harvest which they shall prepare for thee.  
Then calling 'em forth one after another first stepped out the proud Fury Rebelliosa, of so wayward, and ungovernable a Humour, that she would scarce obey even great Lucifero himself, but that she knew he would only command her such things as were most agreeable to her own Inclination. To whom Ambitiosa said, What wilt thou do for my devoted Servant Nasonius to obtain him his Father's three Kingdoms? I will, answered Rebelliosa with a lofty tone, fill the Hearts, Heads and Tongues of the Vtopians. with Murmurs and Discontents against their kind and lawful King Eugenius, so that they shall be ready to rebel, and drive him out, when ever they shall get an Opportunity to do it with safety. Fear not thy success, great part of that Nation are my sworn Slaves already. 'Twas I who inspired them to make War against his Father Eusebius. 'Twas to me they Sacrificed a Hundred Thousand of that Damnable Sect called loyalists, for which I rewarded them afterwards with Riches and Preferments. Lastly, 'Twas I, that, to crown my triumphant Exploits, inspired them to cut off his Head; and the same Fate, if it suit with thy Policy, shall betid his Son.  
This said, Rebelliosa retired and there came forward next a monstrous deformed Hag, whose ill-contrived Shape much resembled that of a Chimaera, as the Poets describe it: Her Eyes squinted contrary ways; Her Feet interfered with one another, and all her Parts hung loose, as if they were inartificially tied on with Points, without any Natural Contexture or Coherence. Of whom, when Nasonius had demanded her Name; my Name, said she, with a confident look and tone is Alethia, I am Truth itself, and cannot lie. But Ambitiosa interrupting her, and turning to Nasonius, said, Believe her not, my Friend, her Name is Fictitiosa, she is the Spirit of Lying, and her Nature such, that she cannot say true, but only when she is to answer my dread Father Lucifero, or myself. Then turning herself to the Fiend Fictitiosa, she demanded of her what she would do to get her truest Gallant Nasonius his Father's three Kingdoms? I will said she, spread thousands of horrid Lies against Eugenius, his Queen, and their Son all over Utopia, to disaffect his Subjects, and make them hate him; I will inspire the Pamphletteers, News-Writers, Lampooners, and others of the State-Scribblers with the Genius of forging till almost all the Land be possessed with the Spirit of Falsehood and Lying Nay, the Pulpits out of which they preach the Doctrine of their God, and the Preachers themselves shall be deeply tainted with my venomous Infection.  
After her came out a third Fury, which looked like a Fool, or mere Ninnie, in a long mothly Coat, with a Niaisy Countenance, a gaping Mouth, her Head hanging down, and a great Bibb on her Breast to receive her Slaver, staggering and stammering still as she walked and spoke. And what, said Nasonius, Can this silly thing do in my behalf? As much replied Ambitiosa, as any of the rest. She is the Spirit of Folly, and her name Fatuitosa Credula, let herself speak, and tell thee what she will perform; I will, said Fatuitosa, so besot and infatuate the People of Utopia, that they shall give full Credit to all Fictitiosa's Lies, tho' never so monstrous and incredible; by which means I will make them Abdicate their Hereditary King, tho' were they not absolutely my Creatures, they might easily see that it would breed endless Distractions. I will stir them up to make War against the Powerful and Politic Giant Gallieno, tho' to their vast Charge, and the utter destroying their Traffic and Comme●ce. I will inspire them with the refined Folly, that they shall voluntarily and contentedly beggar themselves to maintain the War of the Hydra, tho' they cannot but know that it laughs at them for it, as great Fools; and in their Hearts hates them. Nay, I will so totally and perfectly dose their Reason, and common Sense, that they shall magnify and adore thee Nasonius all the while thou dost impoverish, abuse, and ruin them, and (which I esteem my chief Master piece) they shall thank thee, and congratulate with thee, not for any real Benefits they have received from thee, but merely because thou hast beggared and ruined them.  
At these last words Nasonius took the Jest to fully, and relished it so feelingly, that, (tho' it were a thing unusual with him) he could not refrain from showing his high Contentment with a pleasant Smile. Till, as he was going to return an high compliment to Ambitiosa for such a notable assistant, by telling her, That the very Folly of Lucifero's Courtiers out-witted, and overreached the highest Wisdom of Mortals; there appeared a fourth Fury with a surly Countenance, that came in stamping and staring, cursing the Earth for bearing her, the Air for giving her Health, and the Sun for lending her Light. Nasonius all amazed at such an uncouth kind of Fiend entreated of Ambitiosa the Knowledge of her Name and Nature. Her Name, replied Ambitiosa is Diabolica, and she is the Spirit of Ingratitude. She had that particular Name given her as an high Reward for her great Merit; for she was the forwardest to oppose that cursed Angel Michael, when he endeavoured to debauch our Confederate Angels, from joining with us in Rebellion, by alleging the Gratitude (forsooth) we owe to God, as being our Creator, and who gave us our Being, and all the Good we had; and who is in greater Esteem with my Father Lucifero than she? Nasonius' being a Gentleman well-bred, and full of Courtesy, thought it was his Duty, and would be grateful to Lucifero, to pass upon such an high Personage, and so great a Favourite of his a special Compliment. Whereupon approaching to her with a low Bow, and kissing his Hand, he was about a very formal Expressing his Respects to her; But she, with her Fist gave him such a sound Cuff on the Ear, that (being but limber Hammed) his Proboseis well nigh touched the Ground; so that he had much ado to recover himself. To take off his trouble and fear, Ambitiosa told him, it was Diabolica's Nature to render Evil for Good; and that had he not followed her inspiration formerly in being ungrateful to his Father, who had done him so many Favours she had certainly done him some great Mischief for his Kindness: But she bid him rest contented with that Fury's candid dealing: For had she saluted or kissed him, she would most certainly have killed him.  
After Nasonius had certainly well recovered himself, and come to his Senses and Wits again, Diabolica thus accosted him; Fond Mortal! who could so think, that I, who am Ingratitude itself could be won or obliged by any Courtesies. Thou mightst have known by thyself, who art one of my greatest Devotees, that Civilities and Kindnesses are not the way to oblige me, and had not thy great Merits in being ungrateful to thy obliging Father repressed my fury, this had been thy last day, and all thy ambitious Projects had vanished to Smoke: But for following my Inspirations I have both spared thee, and will reward thee. Perhaps thou think'st that my Sisters have left nothing for me to do for thee; but thou art much mistaken. Thy Father Eugenius has hugely obliged many Personages of the highest Rank, and the chief Officers in the Army, nay, indeed the whole Army itself, by being so good a Master to them; and unless these be taken off, and rendered ungrateful, they will give thee such disturbance as will quite ruin all thy Undertake; but I will take such order, that they shall all of them either desert or oppose him; for I will infuse such a subtle Poison into the wretched Souls of those most obliged to him, that most of them, nay, his own Flesh and Blood, as his own very Children, shall be the first Traitors to him, and his bitterest Enemies.  
Nasonius, upon hearing this comfortable News, taking fresh Heart, blamed himself for being so foolishly unmindful of her Genius, and humbly asked of her, (for he was deadly afraid of the t' other Cuff) if it would not disoblige her, to return her his humble Thanks. If thou wilt oblige me replied Diabolica, be sure thou never repentest thy Ingratitude to thy Father or others, but continuest it unto the end. But particularly, be sure thou dost not show the least Gratitude to the Vtopians, though hey foolishly serve thee against their own Interest: But both disoblige those who have first and most assisted he, and do all thou canst to requite the Kindnesses of that Sottish Nation with their utter ruin. Huff their Nobility as occasion presents, and imprison them Lawlessly; Pay not their Soldiers, nor any who are so foolish as to trust thee with their Goods, Stores, or other Commodities. Regard not the Seamen though most useful to thee, nor pay 'em their Wages: Only give the Fops good Words, and some little Pittance to keep up their Folly to trust and serve thee further. Give the Royal Assent to no National Bills, that may in any wise serve to support or secure their pretended Rights, Liberties, and Properties; nor to any others that do not strengthen thy Power, enable thee to crush their Persons, and drain their Pockets. Thou must also use thy utmost endeavour to procure an Act to Endenise all the Rascally Refuse of thy Noble Allies, especially our beloved Hydropicks and vagrant Luyslandian paynims, by which means they will eat the Bread out of the foolish, and tame Vtopians Mouths; Rob their clothes from their Backs, and reduce them and their Posterity to utmost Beggary and Slavery. They have made themselves thy Slaves, use them accordingly.  
Nasonius was about to assure her of his doing his utmost to follow this Advice, when there steps forward another Fury in a Rich Gown of Cloth of Silver, richly Embroidered with massy Gold, studded all over with Faces and Stamps of divers sorts and figures; who said, I am the great Goddess Mammoneta, chief Idol of the accursed Sons of Adam. What I will do for thee thou shalt know when thou comest to confer with the Heads of the Hydra, whom I will require to serve thee heartily for their own Interest. At this, Lucifero put in; see, said he, that thou Sacrificest the Wealth of Utopia to my best beloved Hydra, and in all things seekest her Advantage. For know that none are so dear to our Deity ever since they in the Indies formally renounced and Crucify'd God, and chose to adore my Slave Mammoneta in his stead for their Goddess: which binds me to requite their highly Meritorious Apostasy with temporal Wealth.  
When he had thus said, there came forward two He Fiend's, of which one was a bold, brisk Blade, clad in a long Gown, with a short purple Cloak over it, and a Square Cap like a Judge, and seemed to be a Devil of great Authority. The other in a black short Vest, between a Cassock and a Jump, a little formal narrow Band, and a Black Velvet Cap, with another of white underneath turned up over the Edges of the other, with a Lace, who walked gravely and demurely with his Eyes lift up to Heaven, as if he were in some divine Contemplation, and in the height of Prayer; with a little Bible in his Hand, making show by his gestures and actions as if his Prayer ended, he were about to hold forth. These are, said Lucifero, two of my chief, and most useful Servants, by name Injurioso, and Hypocritico; the former my Chancellor, the latter my Chaplain: who, at the inspiration of Mammoneta (which Idol, being of the same Religion with the Hydra the adore) will, to give thee Title, wrest both Law and Gospel, and make both the Bar and the Pulpit be at thy Devotion. Speak both of you in your Turns, continued he, and declare what you will do for my best beloved Son Nasonius.  
What will I do? says Injurioso; Why I will inspire the Judges and the Lawyers with such Quirks and Quillets, that they shall Torture and writh the Laws of the Land with their Face backwards, till they come to acknowledge thee their rightful Monarch: I will teach them how to make out Eugenius' Abdication in despite of all those Antiquated Rules of Common Sense and Reason, which foolish Mortals followed hitherto: By which means they shall satisfy those who are unskilful; or else they shall punish imprison, and adjudge to Death those overwise Fools who dare declare themselves for Eugenius, or Speak, Write, Print, or Publish any thing in his Favour.  
And I, said Hypocritico, with a grave and goodly look and tone, do Profess verily and truly, that I will inspire all those Bishops and Preachers who do bear a servant Devotion to the Goddess Mammone●a (as the generality do) to teach dis-allegiance to thy Father, and Allegiance to thee out of their Pulpits; nay, they shall assure their Hearers in the Name of the Lord; and quote the wrested Word of their God to abet it, That thou art their true and Lawful Sovereign, God's Anointed and Vicegerent on Earth. Nay more, verily, they shall pray for thee too, and by obliging their sheepish Flock to say Amen, they shall innure their Conscience to fancy that their Treason is a special act of Religion. Lastly they shall maintain it Lawful to unswear their former Oaths made to Eugenius, and swear 'em to thee as their only Lawful King and supreme Governor, and even Sanctify Perjury by their devout Pretence of Religiousness.  
These Goblins disappearing, Lucifero turning himself to Nasonius, said these words, Thou seest my dear Son, how by the Care of Ambitiosa, and her Maids of Honour and my willy Servants, Jujurioso, and H●prcritico, all the way is paved and smoothed to the glorius end thou aimest at. See thou be'st a Constant and Loyal Lover to my Daughter Ambitiosa, adore her, and her only next to me; observe all her ways, and follow steadily all her Inspirations, fear not that thy pretending Religion will displease me; 'tis the best Cloak for all my Darling Villainies, and makes them more sucessfull; but take heed of setting up that Religion which is the true one, and values its self upon the score of its Principles, especially in Carduana, where I have many Panym Servants, (whom I would wish should have some particular Favour.) But the better to keep up a counterfeit Pretence of being kind and equal, give freedom to all; and if thou canst jumble 'em all into one motley Church: If not, let all Sects whatsoever, even Atheists, and Socinians, which are next to them, hold and teach what they will, as does my Servant the Hydra: For that's the only plausible way to make Mortals be of no Religion at all. For the rest, advise with the Hydropic Heads; I myself will be present invisibly at all you● Consultations, and direct your Councils in the way of true Policy, which teaches you not to regard the unlawfulness of the means you make use of, but resolutely to pursue the end you drive at. In a word, behave thyself so as best becomes the Son and sworn Slave of Lucifero. Hereupon Nasonius kneeling, and laying his Right Hand on his Cloven-Foot, swore all Duty and Vassalage to him, and Loyalty to the Goddess of his Soul, ●mbitiosa; who at parting warned him not to engage too rashly with the Enchanted Giant Gallieno, but to make use of the Letters of his partial Friends, and his own Gazzetts (th● Gospel of the vulgar) to keep up the repute of his Courage and Conduct. Which said, the Hellish Scene quite disappeared and Nasonius full of Joy returned home, and the next day went merrily to hunt at Holoo, having perfect Faith and hope ●n the Assistance of Lucifero, and of his haughty, new betrothed Mistress, Ambitiosa.   

CHAP. VII. How the good King Eugenuis was driven out of his Kingdoms, and how Nasonius Usurped his Throne.  
NAsonius had spent but few days in his divertisement ere News was brought him from Utopia how all the Country was in an Uproar, and ready to rise in open Rebellion as soon as they might find a fit Man to head them, and an Army to fly to for their Protection. Shameless Slanders against Eugenius had possessed every Corner of the Nation. The Great Men Caballed to desert him, the Pulpits dinned into People's Ears nothing but Fears and Jeolousies (the sly language of Treason a Brewing) that he was about to destroy their Religion, when only themselves were actually attempting it by preparing to relinquish their Principles, in which it consisted essentially. The Common People grew Factious and Mutinous; and Traitors almost beset him round, spoke him fair, and advised him false-heartedly. The Officers of the Army were tampered With, the City of Thamopolis, and even the Army itself was in great part poisoned with Treachery and disloyalty; and but a few in comparison remained firm to his Party and Interest. Which Nasonius no sooner heard, but convinced that the Hellish furies had done their Business effectually; called to him his best Friend, Sodomicus, and thus bespoke him. My entiire Friend! Thou seest that he Promise Lucifero made, is come to effect, and Utopia is ready to receive me with open Arms; and as the Furies have handled the Matter, does sue to me to have me come over; courting me as their noble Deliverer: while in reality I go only to enslave them. What remains but that we now convene the Heads of the Hydra, and with them take fit measures to prepare for my Expedition, which thou knowest I can i no wise do, unless they assist me with Ships Seaman, and Soldiers.  
To whom Sodomicus answered, I have already disposed 'em to thy Mind and they shall be ready to assist thee. Only because thou knowest how Superstitiously they are devoted to their Idol Goddess Mammoneta, without whose Directions they undertake nothing, they are now consulting her Oracle; but to Morrow I will assemble them all, when proposals shall be drawn up, which I know will be grateful to Mammoneta, and therefore I doubt not they will readily agree to them.  
Two days after the Heads of the Hydra met in a full Junto. To whom Nasonius delivered himself after this plain Dunstable manner, better suiting with their Rusticity than if his Speech had been garnished with all the Flowers of Rhetoric, perfuming the Breath of the most Eloquent Orators. High and Mighty Lords! 'Tis not unknown unto you how the mighty Giant Gallieno encroaches daily upon us and our Associates in Arms, and how necessary it is to strengthen ourselves against him; and I am sure no way is so effectual to do this, as to get the whole Power and Riches of Utopia, Carduana, and Lyrania to join in our Assistance. This, if we can compass, the Giant will be reduced to the stature of a Dwarf; and (as our Ingenious Emblem long ago foretold) Our Holland Cheese will darken and Eclipse the lustre of his rising Sun. You know how averse my Father Eugenius is to join with the Associates, being resolved by preserving a Neutrality, and keeping his Country in Peace to advance the Trade and Riches of his Kingdoms, which with his giving Freedom from Persecution to tender Consciences, will bring the Traffic to them, and half ruin us. I have already by the assistance of Mammoneta, corrupted many of his Subjects,, nay some of his Chief Commanders, to give him such advice as should dis-affect his Subjects in Utopia, and dispose 'em to Rebellion. But for all that, finding things go on but slowly, I have, to tell you true, (which is not to go further than this Assembly) craved aid of our Common Lord and Master Lucifero who has sent his Furies and wicked Spirits into Utopia to invite them to Rebellion, and so infatuate them that we may do what we list wish them; and instead of their spoiling our Markets, we may make our Markets of them. And now the Deed is brought to perfection, so that there needs no more but my Presence to accomplish that glorious and profitable Work. Now because I cannot go thither with an Army (as is requisite) without your Money, Ships and Soldiers, my request is, that you would furnish me with such a Competency of all these as may suffice to gain that incomparable advantage to our common Cause, assuring, that as things are, and will be ordered, we shall find no opposition. And besides, I do promise to pay supper abundantly, when I am settled, whatever you shall disburse. In doing this, you shall highly oblige great Lucifero, who commanded me to treat with you about it; as also our Powerful Goddess Mammoneta, who has in Person appeared to me, and promised me your Assistance.  
When the Heads of the Hydra had received certain Intelligence of these good tidings, they were right-glad in their Hearts; yet it being a Crafty and wary Monster, It only said the matter should be considered the next day, and an Answer returned. When they were assembled, and began to discuss the Point, they all liked the Project exceedingly: only some doubted lest Nasonius, when he had got so much Power, might come to swallow them up too, and there wanted not some who said, That he would not stick at devouring them, if he saw it his Interest; who made no reckoning of ruining his Father, who had been so good to him, and had ever espoused and upheld his Interest. Others hoped he was not so ill natured, and selfseeking (for he had craftily concealed his having married the all coveting, and insatiable Friend Ambitiosa) and that what he did was to carry on the Common Cause against the Giant Gallieno; or if he were desiours of Honour and Dignity, he was not so immoderate, as not to be satisfied with three Kingdoms. Others hoped by that means to get rid of him, of whose proud and ambitious Humour they were already weary. At length they all agreed to assist him with what he desired; but yet on such Conditions that they should find a good account in doing so, ere they yielded to set him up so high: And as for the danger of his encroaching on their Authority afterwards, it was concluded, That if it were perceived he aimed that way, they could quickly check his towering ' Thought by chopping up a Peace with the mighty Giant Gallieno, and leave the Associates in the Lurch; as by the Advice of Mammoneta, they had done formerly.  
Sending therefore for Nasonius, They told him, that he could not fail by their assistance of getting vast Riches in Utopia; and therefore, it was but Reason they should share with him in his opulent Aquisitions; and that otherwise their Goddess Mammoneta, whose Dictates their Religion obliged them to obey in all things, had advised them not to intermeddle in the Matter. He answered, that the Hydropic Land was his Native Country where he was born and bred; and where he sucked in with his Milk and the Air, all the wise Religion, and Genteel Education he had: And that therefore he could not but retain his chief Affection for the Hydra; and that he was willing to sacrifice the Men, Money, and Interest of Utopia to that of his own dear Countrymen. So after some debate, the Articles of Agreement were signed between them, which are these that follow.  

Imprimis, It is agreed between the Great Knight Nasonius, and the Heads of the Hydra, That the Associates should be acquainted with the Project, and their Contributions and Assistance required, that they may all bring in their Quota towards the charges of the Expedition. But that the Treaty with Lucifero, and the intent of Dethroning Eugenius be only communicated to some choice Friends amongst them: And that it be only pretended to the rest, that they aim at no more but to bring him to join with them against the Giant Gallieno, lest their foolish Piety should warp them from true Policy, and make them against it.  
Item, That in what their Contributions shall fall short, it should be supplied by the Hydra; and that tho' what they added were but Twenty hundred Pounds, yet they should be paid Six hundred thousand Pounds for it out of the Money of the foolish Vtopians.  
Item, That Nasonius when he was settled, should furnish Money out of the Estates of the said Vtopians, to set up and uphold the green-headed Kt Sabaudiero to make war upon K. Gallieno, and to pay large Sums to assist the poorer Associates; and to make the sottish Vtopians maintain the Wars of the Hydra.  
Item, He should prevail with the Vtopians to declare War against the Giant Gallieno, and fit out a great Fleet, and raise Armies of his own Men, at his own proper Costs and Charges to oppose him; and yet notwithstanding, that he should pay the Utopian Soldiers and Seamen but slenderly, tho' with their own Money; but the Hydropic Soldiers fully and nobly.  
Item, That in regard Utopia is the only Competitor in Trade with the Noble Hydra, he should do his utmost to advance the Hydropic Interest, and depress the Utopian, by denying them Convoys, though of their own Ships, as also to take strict Care that no Utopian should trade privately with Luyslandia: But yet that he should connive at the Hydrpicks doing the same, which would impoverish Utopia, and enrich the Hydra: Than which nothing can be more grateful to their powerful Patroness, the Goddess Mammoneta.  
Item, That to the same end the best Money should be transported out of Utopia, and none but the riff-raff left behind, and that the transported Money should pass through the hands of the Hydra to make their advantage of it receiving it cheap, and vending it dear: Clipping it first if capable, washing it if weighty, or melting it down if they saw occasion.  
Item, That Nasonius should promise to enslave and impoverish the Vtopians as much as it is possible in policy, and permit the Hydropicks and other Foreigners to abuse their Soldiers that should be sent over to defend them; it being but reason, that they who would needs be Slaves, should be treated as they are.  
Lastly, That some of the greatest Personages of the Hydropic Commonwealth should go over with Nasonius, whom he is to advance to high Dignity, making some of them his Prime Ministers of State, and his most secret Council; and communicate to them all his Actions, and consult with them about all his Affairs: That so they may certainly see he keeps his Promise with the Hydra, as to all the Particulars abovesaid, and give sure Intelligence to the Hydra of all his Proceedings.   
These Articles agreed and sworn to; and the Associates having sent in their Quota, the Hydra supplied Nasonius with Shipping, Soldiers, and what Money was wanting. Which done, he full of aspiring Thoughts, Embarked for Utopia: But Neptune, who knew the lewd intention of this Voyage, and had formerly by a Charter, confirmed by a long Possession, Constituted King Eugenius his Ancestors Sovereigns of their Seas, did signify the great displeasure he conceived at this unnatural attempt, and therefore, he gave leave to Aeolus (no less angry at the Hydropicks for buying Winds of the Lapland Witches to the prejudice of his Prerogative) to ruffle his Waters to an horrible Storm, so that divers of Nasonius' Ships, Men, and Horses were lost and drowned. Insomuch that he began now to stagger in his Faith, and to doubt of Lucifero's Promise, fearing it was but a trappan, had not the Inferral Lady Ambitiosa, who now possessed his whole Soul, and was still present with him invisibly, encouraged him to pursue his undertaking, and not to be daunted with the first mishap. Yet, had not his Heart been hardened, he might have seen that this was but an ill abodement, and a fair warning that this inauspicious beginning showed that this action of his was displeasing to Heaven: Yet, it is believed that those two Gods abovementioned had drowned his whole Fleet, had not Mercury, Jove's Messenger, been sent to them, to order them to permit him to go forward; telling them, that the Sins of Utopia were now full ripe, and cried for Vegeance; and that he was sent thither by a decree of Heaven to be a perpetual Scourge to them, till taught by dear Experience they come to see their Old and New Sins of Rebellion, and grew so wise to repent, and make Satisfaction to their Injured Prince, and restore him to his Throne; which Message heard, the Storm ceased, and Nasonius landed at his wished for Port.  
Assoon as the News of his arrival was spread, all Utopia began to show openly the Spirits, and confess the Furies that possessed 'em, some spread Lies, some deserted; some Chief Officers caballed to put their Disloyalty in Execution. The Rabble played a thousand Tricks; and in a word, all (but some Loyal Persons who had no Power to withstand the Innundation of Rebellion) with Shouts and Acclamations welcomed the Invader. Yet Nasonius having professed he only came to redress Abuses (as all Reformers do, though they afterwards turn every thing topsy-turvy) durst not yet pull off his Mask, lest he would discover his Ambition too early: Nor yet durst he treat with Eugenius, for then (things being adjusted between him and his Subjects) he had been reduced, but yet King still, wh●ch suited not with the end he aimed at. Wherefore Nasonius refused all Treaties with his Father, answered not his Messages; nor accepted his kind Invitation; but (contrary to all Honour, and the Law of Nations) imprisoned his Ambassador; hunted him out of his own Palace, even at Midnight, and put him under a Guard of Hydropic Soldiers: Hoping, that by seeing his Life in danger (no further outrage being lest but the taking away that) he would for his safety run out of the Kingdom: Which succeeding as he wished and projected, Nasonius got himself by those of his Faction, without much ado, proclaimed Kind in his stead (though against the Fundamental Constitution of the Government, (even though Eugenius had been dead without any Children) to the great Joy of Lucifero, and all his true Servants the Hydropicks, and the no less rejoicing of the madheaded People of Utopia.  
Now the Reader is to understand, that there was at that time a kind of Hyd●a in Utopia, who upon King Eugenius' Retreat did set up for themselves, and gave themselves Authority there; and this done, they, though no better Authorised, gave the Supreme Authority to Nasonius, and he again kindly imparted to them some of the Authority they had given him, and so made their No-Authority Legal, and stronger than it was before: Which though strangely mysterious, passed for admirable good Sense in infatuated Utopia at that Season, but will be laughed at for the most refined and exquisite Nonsense by all Mankind in succeeding Ages.   

CHAP. VIII. How Eugenius retired into Luyslandia to request Protection of the Noble Giant Gallieno. And how the infatuated Utopians for that reason proclaimed open War against him. And also of Nasonius his Coronation. And the Heroic Adventure of the Contaminated Breeches.  
THE good King Eugenius being thus unworthily driven out of his Kingdom by his graceless Son Nasonius, and the Treacherous Falsehoods of his own Subjects; after he had received unpardonable affronts from them, arrived at length at the glorious Court of the great Giant Gillieno, and thus addressed himself to him.  
Behold, Invincible Monach! an injured and destitute Prince, dishonourably, and unnaturally bereaved of his Crowns by an ungrateful Son, and treacherous Subjects, through the instigation of the Hydra, and the rest of their shameless Associates, and flying to your Court for Refuge, and Redress. The safety, honour, and dignity of all Crowned Heads are concerned in my Quarrel: For, no Injury have I, to my knowledged, done to any of those, who thus against all Honour, Justice, and Allegiance, have conspired to my Ruin; and those which were pretended, were done by advice of Counselors of their own Party, whom they had corrupted to betray me. Be then a Mighty King as well in Goodness as you are in Greatness, another Tamberlane, and revenge the Cause of an injured Prince, bereaved of all, what both by God's and Man's Laws he possessed, by an ambitious Usuper; who not content to have robbed me of all I had, does to render his Crime more Enormous, and to palliate his Usurpation, add to his wicked Injustice most reproachful, and base Calumnies, to debauch my Credulou●s Subjects from their Allegiance. I have no hopes left but your puissant Patronage, to whom nothing can be more Glorious than to relieve the oppressed, and restore Crowns to those Princes who have lost them not through their own faults, but by the malice of unprovoked Enemies,  
When the good King Eugenius had thus ended his Address, the Noble and Generous Gallieno embraced him tenderly in his Arms, and thus be spoke him. Dear Brother, were not your Misfortunes the occasion of this Visit, no Man living could have been a more welcome Guest 〈◊〉 my Court than such a Suitor; Nor do I esteem any Conquest in m● Cause half so Glorious, as is the undertaking a Business which is every way so honourable, and full of Renown: For by how muc● your Innocency is greater; and the wickedness of your Enemy's mo●● manifest; so much higher will it set my Reputation to redress yo●● Injuries, and revenge your disgraces upon your inhuman and base Enemies. Be here as free as myself, and be assured of my effectual Assistance; only let me take my own season, in regard I have many Foes deal with, which may cost me some time to make them sue for Pea●● or to subdue them by War. Having ended his Speech, he gave orders to Coin a Medal with his own Effigies on one side, and Eugeni●● on the other, with this Inscription: 
Je vous met●ray sur vostre Throne,  
Ou jo perdray ma Courenne.  In English: 
I'll either set you on your Throne,  
Or I resolve to lose my Own.   
So King Eugenius remained in the Court of King Gallieno, where lived in great Splendour, caressed by King Gallieno himself; the P●●ces of the Blood, and all the Nobility; with less fear now that he shou●● not regain his Kingdoms in due time, than he had formerly assur●● he should keep them while he had them among such a multitude of T●●tors as he had daily about him: Though his Piety towards his 〈◊〉 Subjects was such, that dreading the Calamity of War, which wo●● have harassed the Nation, and undone many of his wellbeloved P●●ple, He had much rather have recovered them by the returning of Kingdoms (made sensible by their Taxes and Losses) to their 〈◊〉 than by the Force of any Foreign Armies, which, though never so well disciplined or restrained from offering any Outrage, except to those who opposed them, yet could not fail, for all that, of b●inging great distractions and Miseries to these Kingdoms, which, with the Eye of a Compassionate Father he looked upon as his own.  
In the mean time Nasonius triumphed now gloriously in Utopia, having obtained by the Favour of Lucifero (of whom only as his Liege he held it) the Crown and Imperial Throne of that Kingdom; which he had acquired neither by Honesty or Valour, but by the high●st Injustice, and basest Treachery; according as Dame Fortuna had told him, That he should never have Success, but in ill things, and by means of ill Men. Assoon as he was seated in his Throne, he received the Congratulations of his Hydropic Friends, and some other of the Associates, who now made no doubt but by his assistance to pull down the mighty Giant Gallieno, and to shrink him into a Pigmy. And the overjoyed Vtopians were so fond of their new King, that no Money was enough to give him to prosecute his Designs. Nay, such a sound Drench had Fatu●tosa given them, that at his Instigation they would needs undertake the Quarrel of other Men, and declare War against the invincible Giant Gallieno, (whom so strangely did Malice transport their foolish and rude Natures) they mortally hated, because he had harboured and protected thei● Lawful Sovereign: As if not contented to have spoiled and robbed hi● of all he had, they were resolved still to prosecute him where he was and threatened Ruin to any Man that should shelter him from their Malice, or give him Meat, Drink, or Lodging, and so (as far as they wer● able) to make any place in the World afraid to entertain him; b● which it is easy for any Men in their Wits to discern, and might be so even to the Vtopians themselves, had not Fatuitosa absolutely besotted them with Folly and Madness, that nothing but Lucifero himself, an● all the Furies of Hell could have inspired them with such a Diabolic Malice.  
After this, Nasonius' Coronation was to be Celebrated, which w●● performed with all the Splendour imaginable: But while he walked 〈◊〉 Convalcade in his Knightly Robes under his Royal Canopy, a sad and 〈◊〉 accident happened, which in the worst and ugliest manner dusked and 〈◊〉 dirted the whole Solemnity: His Heart was so full, and so over-swollen with the windy Glory of his Coronation, and the Joy he conceived the●● of was so overflowing, that it burst forth backwards, and the Perfu●● of that Yellow Aromatic Matter was so strong, that it imparted, and communicated itself to as many as were near him; And which was wors● all, his thus anointed Majesty was not in circumstances to alter his Condition, but was forced to remain in the same abominable Pickle, and to retain the same Scent a long time after; the Effluviums of which were so very puissant, that whoever smelled it might safely swear it was specific to a King; nor could proceed from any other but from the most powerful, and most magnanimous Monarch in the World. Many and divers were the Conjectures what this unusual and ominous Accident should portend. The Vizard Sydrophel erected Schemes of the Nativity of this new Birth; he consulted all the Celestial Bodies, and knocked at the very doors of all their Houses to inquire the Reason of it, and brought certain News thence, that the noble Constellation Ariadne's Crown had veil'dits' height, and become a falling Star to do honour to his Coronation: That such sort of Stars when they fall, leaving a kind of Slough behind them, this was only the Celestial Slough, or Jelly of that Star, and was very sweet-scented of its own Nature, and only seemed otherwise to us, because it was so uncouth to our Sublunary Noses. Others, who were Poetically given, wrote Panegyrics, and swore by Parnassus that it was as sweet as its Cousin-German Musk; but, as sweet Perfurmes seem to many to have a stinking Smell: So it was nothing in the World that made People conceit that it was not Odoriferous, but the vast disproportion between that part in a Sovereign, and the Noses of his Subjects. And others said, it was a freakish Revenge of Dame Fortuna for the Injury he had offered to the Lady Victoria. But the Eugenians were of another opinion, and made far different Constructions of it: For some of them noted, that this was his first Adventure, and that it was an evident sign that he should bewray all the Glory of his Reign by base and Cowardly Actions: Or that the Giant Gallieno would make him often do the same in the Process of his Reign, which he did at the beginning of it. Others would needs have it signify that all which the Nation should ●gain by him, would be no more than a Sir Reverence. Others, That the inward Gripes of his Conscience did (as Gripes use ●o do) occasion such a sudden Laxativeness; But those of his good subjects, who granted it to be as it was, and were heartily sorry, and shamed to see it, gave out, That the Great Giant Gallieno by his Necromancy, or some of his Familiar Spirits had invisibly conveyed some pur●ing Powder into his Morning's Draught, to work him that foul disgrace, ●o disparage and beshit his Coronation.  
However it happened, it was a very foul Business, both in itself, ●nd especially in the timeing of it, and lighting at such a Nicking Season; and the further Prognostics will, I conceive, be better found out hereafter by his History (as appears in part already) than by all the most Learned Maxims of Judiciary Astrology.   

CHAP. IX. How the Panym Knight Refugio was sent into Lyrania against King Eugenius. And how Nasonius himself went thither afterwards, and what succeeded.  
NOW the Country of Lyrania did, for the most part remain steadfast to their Allegiance to King Eugenius, and the Noble Giant Tarcon had raised him fifty thousand Soldiers, but undisciplined, and ill armed: Wherefore by the Friendly assistance of the Giant Gallieno, King Eugenius though fit to send over thither, and try his Fortune there, though that Country was far too weak to resist the Forces of Utopia, not having Conveniences and Necessaries to maintain a War comparable to what was found in Utopia. He kept his Royal Court at Lyrapolis, and was now about to assault Walkerburga, whither the greatest part of the Rebels, who were almost all paynims, had betaken themselves. Now, this place he could easily have taken, but the Besieged being obstinate, he was loath to assault it, well knowing that the Lyranians, who used to spare none in their just Anger, were so enraged against them, that they would certainly have put them all to the Sword; which he (whose Piety towards his misled People often much hindered his Policy) had too much Compassion to permit; hoping that overtures of Mercy, and their own Famine, and other hardships would in time reclaim them, and bring 'em to their Duty; and they were many of them starved, and the rest about to yield, when they were relieved by Sea with all Necessaries, which Eugenius being destitute of Ships, could by no means hinder.  
After this, the Panym Knight Refugio, than whom few were more in savour with Nasonius, was sent over to Lyrania with an Army of Seven and Twenty Thousand Soldiers to make Head against King Eugenius; to whom the Utopian Hydra (for Money was yet plentiful there) gave a noble, but very foolish Gratuity of an Hundred Thousand Pounds: Thus encouraged, he went forward on his Expedition; And when he Landed, he encamped at Lutosia, where he stayed so long in Dirt and Mire, not daring to Fight with King Eugenius, that far the better half of his Soldiers breathed out their Souls backwards: But they all embraced their Death as the greatest Honour that could befall them, because it was Regis ad Exemplum. Our Seamen at the same time had as great Calamity befell them as the other, though not so slovenly: For, a strange Giddiness seized their Heads on a sudden, which made them desirious, and fall down as if they had been Epileptic; and three days after they died of this Malady, and a third part of them perished. This Disease being so sudden, so Mortal, and so strangely unusual, and indeed scarce ever heard of before, Lucifero feared it would be looked on as a Judgement from Heaven, and therefore took Care that Fictitiosa should give it out, and Fatuitosa make it believed, that their Meat was poisoned by Treachery: But though all the Industry imaginable was used to discover the Poisoner, and find out the Poison, yet not one grain of it could be found, and though such a vast quantity as could taint so much Meat was inconceivable, for all the three Nations could not furnish half so much, much less could any Art apply it so undiscernably, yet still, (so had Lucifero, and his Furies handled the matter) that it passed for current Sense in Utopia.  
After this Disaster had happened to the Knight Refugio, Nasonius himself passed over into Lyrania, with a right puissant Army, and marched towards Eugenius. But whilst he lay near a River called Vndana, which he was to pass the next day, going to Bed, not without some Solicitous and frightful Fancies in his Head; he dreamed a Dream which (though no Authors write of, yet may be probably conjectured to have wrought a Coronation Effect with him. He dreamed that while (contrary to the charge Ambitiosa had given him) he unadvisedly came too near the Enemy, a Bullet of Six Pound weight granted upon his Shoulder. Upon which awakening in a Fright, and great Anxiety, cried out, Treason, Treason. Sodomicus, who lay in the next Room to him, rushed in suddenly and asked what the matter was. Oh! said he, I have had such a fearful Dream, that I'm afraid it portends some ill luck to Morrow: For methought, a Six pound weight Bullet hit me on my Shoulder, took away part of my clothes and Shirt, razed the Skin, and that had it gone but a little deeper, it had put an end to all my Glory, with my Life. Take Courage, said Sodomicus, for I dreamed that Ambitiosa had appeared to you in your Sleep, to assure you, that she had taken Care to dispose some of Eugenius' Army to Treachery, and some to Cowardice, and promised you that to Morrow you should win the Day. Neither think I that your Dream is to no purpose; doubtless it was inspired to hint to us what Politic use we may make of it. I will take order to make it pass for a reality, and cause the Relation of it to be writ and sent into Utopia, and to make it believed there in good earnest: Then what sport shall we have to hear how the whining Puppies will bemoan their good King, who undergoes such Hazards, and suffers so much for his beloved People. This will have a twofold good effect; one is, that you will be looked upon as a Person, over whom Providence, (as it shows by this miraculous escape) has a peculiar Care, which will gain you universal Credit with the bigoted Generality, The other is, that kind Pity will so soften the Hearts of those silly Whelps (whose Heads are soft enough already,) that they shall give you what Money you shall ask, and contentedly beggar themselves to enrich us. And as for carrying it well with the People here, 'tis but conjuring your Chirurgeon to say as we say, for some Gratuity: And tearing, and beblooding your Shirt in that part to delude the Landress, and all will pass current; or put case that any do distrust it, yet who dares contradict it, or rob you of the Honour you assume of suffering for the Public Good.  
Nasonius' smiled at the Project, and approved of it exceedingly: So into Utopia the News was sent, and had all the effect they expected. For, the sottish Vtopians with one Voice, Magnify God's Merciful Providence in averting so miraculously the Chimerical danger. And now, who was so ill-natured as not to be willing to give even half they had to assist this good King, who had so profusely exposed his Sacred Person, and had incurred such imminent danger of losing his Life for their Sakes? Whereas, has they not been Infatuated beyond measure, they could not but see plainly, that all that little that he did, or suffered (had his hurt been real) was the least he could do to uphold his Grandeur and Ambition.  
Nasonius was mightily pleased with the Project of Sodomicus, but much more encouraged by the Promises, which both Lucifero, and Ambitiosa had given him of their particular assistance in the present Action; but yet, (as if he would have a trick beyond the Devil) to make sure work, he sent several, who, under the notion of Deserters, and flying to the assistance of their Old Master, Eugenius, discovered to him how all matters stood in his Father's Camp, and withal, knowing that there was a dearth of Money in Lyrania, he sent great Sums by the same pretended Deserters, with which they should not fail to corrupt, what Counsellors and Officers they could, still making promise of greater Sums: Thus having all the assurance that could be, he commanded the old Panym Knight Refugio to pass the River Vndana at such a place, where he knew the beat of of the Battle would fall upon him; Refugio, as presaging his end, was utterly against this Undertaking, but obeyed; and no sooner could he and his Forces pass The River, but they were so briskly received by certain Luislanders, and Loyal Vtopians, that it gave no small hopes of Victory to the Party of Eugenius; and it was remarkable, that about thirty brave Vtopians, who had followed their Lawful, injured Prince through all Fortune, made a Vow among themselves, to put an end to this unnatural War, if possible, by cutting of the False Nasonius; and accordingly they furiously broke through all the Troops to find him, but instead of him, discovered Refugio, well and stoutly guarded, but they forced their way, and one shot the old Panym in the Head, who fell from his Horse into a filthy Ditch, where lying unregarded, he breathed his last; a fit end for him, who spent his very last days in the most dirty Actions, and in playing the most shameless, treacherous, and faithless Pranks. But while these things were in acting, Nasonius sent over a strong Body of Rebellious Vtopians, who came upon the corrupted Officers, and the main strength of the Lyranians; but the Lyranians having for many Ages been subject to the Vtopians, and beaten, as it were, into a habit of running away from them, could not so quickly conquer those deep-rooted Fears, but presently betook them to their Heels, and fled as so many Hares before Hounds. Eugenius grieved, and enraged at such Cowardice, did all he could to turn and rally them, and to that end, often put his own Life in imminent danger, but nothing would prevail with them, but they still ran, and had left him to the Mercy of the Enemy, had not some gallant Luislanders, and Loyal Vtopians come to his Succour, who seeing all lost by such matchless Treachery and Cowardice, not without much ado was persuaded, and prevailed with Eugenius to go off, and reserve himself for a further Trial, and better Fortune. And now Nasonius, who had carefully observed all from a Hill on the other side the River, seeing the danger over, and the Day his own, took the Courage to pass the Water after his Army, to reap the Fruit and Glory of the Victory.  
Having then thus obtained the Victory, Nasonius marched to Lyrapolis, where he was highly welcomed by all the Panym Party, and King Eugenius and turned to King Gallieno to Tutelia. Now might Nasonius, had he not sauntered at Lypapolis, but pursued the Enemies with his Horsemen while they were in that distraction, have cut them off in Parcels, and hindered their rejoining: But Fatuitosa envying that she could have no influence over Nasonius, to govern whom even uninspired by others, she made account she had the best Title, gave him a Draught of her Poppy with a dash of Lethe in it, knowing it would easily work with his Temper so fitly disposed for it; which so dozed and infatuated his Reason, not used to be overburdened with any Politic Considerations, that neglecting his manifest and best advantage, he thought of nothing but of the high and mighty Encomiums which the paynims at Lyrapolis gave him: Which gave the Noble Giant Duke Tarcon a fair oppotunity to rally his Army again to breed him further trouble. However, after he was weary with hugging himself for the Victory which Chance, Folly and Treachery had given him, he marched forward with his Army towards the strong City Shannonopolis, whither great part of Eugenius' Army had retired, and laid Siege to it.  
There governed at that time in it a noble Luislandian Under-Giant, called Pandaro, who boldly set open the Gates, and suffered six Thousand of the unpolitick Nasonians no enter, but assoon as they were got in, he had prepared such volleys of Cannon and Muskets to welcome them, that they cut of great Multitudes of them; and the resolute, and valiant Lyranians set upon the rest (dismayed by such an expected and rude Greeting), with that Fury that few of them escaped. Nor could they be relieved or seconded; for Nasonius, by a fineness of Policy peculiar to himself, (For the Dose given him by Fatuitosa had not yet done working) had left his main Body on the other side of the River; so that it could afford them no help, but they were exposed to be massacred in the manner aforesaid. After which defeat, the Garrison rushed out to their Astonishment, and fell upon Nasonius' Army, and killed many more of them, and put the rest to a disorderly Flight, which the Poet elegantly describes thus in an apt simile.  

When all the Elements at once conspire,  
And round those Walls there's nothing seen but Fire:  
When crossing Billows caused the Shannon swell,  
And from above the wat'ry Buckets fell:  
When Air condensed unwholesome Vapours sent,  
And Earth dissolved to putrid Water went.—   
What them?  

As Beds of Eels by Clap of Thunder broke,  
Frighted they run, each fears the dreadful str●ke:  
So Conger-like the Hero first broke way,  
And through the Mudd his scamp'ring Legions stray.  
Sure none but such at B— t dare  
Call this Success, Heaven's peculiar Care.   
But Nasonius, whose chiefest Policy was shown upon such occasions, made as much haste away as if his Life had been concerned, and blamed the slowness of his Horse, though he had been a Pegasus; never looking behind him till he came to the Seaside, and there finding a little Vessel, he got over to the happy and safe Shoar of Utopia. Those who write thus of him, do seem to doubt whether a Coronation Accident might have befallen him upon this occasion: Because, (say they) his precipitate haste gave him no respite for a decent and leisurely Evacuation. But to speak impartially, this is too great an Injury to the known Courage of Nasonius. For, to say the truth, he had no occasion to fear any thing, but the dishonour of staying, when he saw no good could be done: And therefore he posted back, that he might prevent the news of the Defeat, and make it thought that (his occasions inviting him home) the ill Success light, assoon as he had left them, and only by reason of his forced Absence, which none can blame for bad Policy in such a Warrior.  
And this was the upshot of those two famous Expeditions performed by the Panym Knight Refugio, and Nasonius; in which this latter did forfeit more of his Honour, by this defeat and sudden retreat (when his Presence was most needful to retrieve the disgrace that had happened, by his Conduct, and Valour, had they availed any thing) nay, and lost him more Men too in that Siege, than had the Eugenians in the famous Battle at Vndana.  
But things went yet worse with Nasonius and his Party, in Inferiana; for the valiant and Politic Giant Grandorsio, charmged and assisted by the Enchanted Belt, which the Amazonian Lady Victoria had given him, set upon the Hydropic, General Valdectius, in the Field of Florus; killed Twelve Thousand of his Men, and made him run away thirty Miles to save the rest. Which made the Giant Grandosio still more famous, and redoubted, and caused the routed Panym Valdectius to cast out most bitter Complaints and Lamentations in his Letters to Nasonius, and the Hydra, cursing grievously the frowardness of Dame Fortuna, who by her unkindness and Partiality had brought him to such Disgrace, and Dishonour.   

CHAP. X. How Nasonius himself went into Inferiana; and how Gallieno took Petrana, even before Nasonius' Face, and of his other Successes there. How Lyrania was totally subdued by the Knight Ginglero; and how the Green-headed Knight, Sabaudiero broke Truce with his Uncle, the great Giant Gallieno.  
WHEn the next Spring approached Nasonius having (as was his Custom) sleeced the sheepish Vtopians of vast Sums of Money, went over into Inferiana to fight the Battles of the Associates, being appointed their Generalissimo. At his arrival they had a very solemn Consultation, how they might utterly subdue the great Giant Gallieno, and assault him both by Sea and Land: So that now their foolhardly Party ceased not to make boasts that they would carry on their Conquests as far as Tutelia, and that in despite of Gallieno's Enchantments, and Power, Nasonius would fetch away the Lady Victoria by plain force of Arms: Which great huff, instead of causing the least Fear in Luyslandia, gave great matter of Divertisement and Laughter to the Tutelian Court.  
But before Nasonius took his leave of Utopia, he called his Admiral, the Panym Knight, Tornano unto him, and thus bespoke him. Thou knowest, dear Tornano, how I have always treated thee with the highest Respects; nor has any Man more obliged me than thou hast by thy faithful Service: But now the time is come, that thou must go beyond thy former self in Fidelity, both in executing my Commands, as also in keeping the Orders I shall give thee, severely secret, which shall be both for thy safety at the present, and (when time serves) for thy higher Advancement: None knows better than thyself, that the accursed Giant Gallieno would quickly land my Father Eugenius, and dispossess me of my Throne, did not my Power at Sea bridle and restrain him: So that should I lose my Fleet in a Sea-Fight, I should be in great danger of losing all. My Request therefore is, that when the Fight begins, thou wouldst hover a loof with thy Squadron, which will keep the rest from being too rash; by which means, the Brunt of the Enemy's Fury will light most upon the Ships belonging unto the Hydra: For (besides the Politic Consideration now mentioned) I am (to tell you true,) much incensed against that Commonwealth, and not without just reason, for attempting to take away from me the Office of Hydra-holder; or, at least, to abridge the Authority of it, and make it insignificant, Which is an affront so little suiting my Honour, and so unbecoming so great a Monarch, that I can in no wise brook it; as I have wrote to my dearest Friend Sodomicus, and ordered him in soft terms to tell them so much. Wherefore, I would at once revenge myself, and by preserving my Fleet, and weakening their Power at Sea, make them rather Court me for my assistance, than that I should sue or truckle to them. Tornano was heartily glad to hear the Proposal; for he had no Maw to encounter the Luyslandians at Sea, having been so rudely beaten by them the Year before, on the Coast of Lyrania. Besides, 'tis said he had a Fair Lady with him on Board, in whom he took especial Delight, and he feared the roaring of the Cannons might maker her Headache: Wherefore he readily consented to the motion; only he ased how they might be secured against being Impeached for Treason by the Hydra, and Utopian Sea-Officers, if he should refuse to Fight in such a Juncture. To which, Nasonius answered, Feign what plausible excuse thou seest fit, and I will give private Orders to those that shall Examine the Matter, that they shall acquit thee from Blame. Which, when Nasonius had promised by the most Sacred Oaths, and (which was more binding, and more sacred with him than all the rest) by the Word of a King; the thing was agreed upon.  
This done, Nasonius addressed himself for his Expedition, and met the Associates in Inferiana, where they had very long Consulations how they should bring the Giant Gallieno on his Knees, and the Idea each of them had with much hammering framed of this Project had such a gay appearance to their wise Fancies, considering it Speculatively, that they made account it was as good as done already. But while they were talking so long about what they should do (their many Heads being of so many Minds and opinions, and never a good one) the Powerful and Politic Giant Gallieno (who had but one Head worth them all) did his Business, without talking; and with a right puissant Army Besieged Petrana, the strongest City and Fort in all Inferiana. The sudden and unexpected News of this Siege broke off their Consultations, ere they were full ripe; and made them all distractedly do, they knew now what, nor how: And such Power had the sound Dose, given 'em by Fatuitosa, over their stupefied Senses, that they had neither once thought of possessing themselves of the Passages to Petrana, nor of preventing the Giant Grandorsio from entrenching himself, so as to cover the Siege. So that all Nasonius could do, was to March that way with his Army, and stay a great way off: As if it had been Honour enough for him to come so near Gallieno's Army, as but to hear the frightful noise of Bombs, and Cannons, which fired and battered Petrana; which was not done neither without mature Advisement, and a deep reach of Policy; which made 'em conclude, that it was more adviseable to avoid the Hellish Fire and Smoak that the Giant Gallieno (woe fought still in a Spell, or, Circle of Flames) used to spit, and sputter round about him. So Petrana, which they foolishly boasted, and thought Impregnable, was taken by the Luislandians: However, Gallieno was sure to pay for that his bold Rashnness, in presuming to take the Town without Nasonius' leave; and was never securely Victorious, if words would do it: For Nasonius gave out that he was resolutely determined to revenge himself by Battle. But the Giant Grandosio had by his Necromancy so ordered things, that Nasonius could not for his Heart tell how to come at him, or how with any Safety, to attack him. And thus continued both Armies, till the Nasonians forced thereto by Grandorsio's Stratagems must needs decamp and be gone: Which, Nasonius with all the Inconveniences likely to ensue, thought it his best Policy to retire to Holoo, pretending he had no more to do since Grandorsio would not Fight, though indeed it was to save his own Credit, which was like to suffer some disparagement, had he stayed and b●en Present. The Nasonian Army therefore was left under the Command of the Panym Knight Valdectius to bring it off as well as he could. But they no sooner began their Retreat, but the Giant Gran●orsio fell on their Rear, and gave 'em such a Kick o'th' Breech for a Farewell, as killed of them near three Thousand Men.  
Thus ended the Campaign, and this was the Issue of all the vast designs, and glorious Brags of entering Luyslandia, taking Tutelia, and fetching thence the Lady Victoria, which was sufficiently rediculed by the Luyslandians, who were now asham●d to have to do with such weak, improvident, and cow-hearted Enemies. But the Mirth was heightened, even to loud Laughter, that the Nasonian Stargazers had undertaken to demonstrate by the unerring Arts of Astrology, that this Campaign was to be the very last Period of all the Glory of Gallieno, and the fatal time that Luyslandia was to be subdued and destroyed. But since no more was to be done, who could help it? So, the Associates, after they had had another grave Consultation what plausible Excuses it were best to give out to palliate their unwise Conduct, and ill Success, separated themselves, and Nasonius returned into Utopia. Where, no sooner arrived, but he found the Complaints made by the Hydra, and the Utopian Sea-Officers against Tornano were very high, and heavy. They alleged that this backwardness had cost the English many rude Blows, but had cost the Hydra Eighteen or Nineteen Ships, for which they demanded Vengeance and Justice against him. Tornano put in his Plea, which was bandied to and fro, till the severe heat by degrees somewhat cooling, his Trial came on, and as Nasonius had promised (tho' with much regret of the Hydra) he was acquitted. To comfort Nasonius, and to keep up his Heart for his ill success in Inferiana, Dame Fortuna granted him the happy reduction of Lyrania by the Panym Knight Ginglero. Not for his own sake, whom she mortally hated, but for Ginglero's, as being of all the Panym Officers the most Courteous, Civil, and of best Conduct. This Knight led his Armies through the Land of Lyrania, and took divers of their Towns and Forts: At length they came into a pitched Battle. The Lyranian Army was at that time Commanded by the Politic and Valiant Luyslandian Giant height Rutheno, who with the Noble Gigantic Knight, Lucanio, so encouraged the Lyranian Soldiers that they thrice beat back the Panym Army, and now were the Horse coming up to secure an entire Victory under the Leading of the Giant Rutheno, when, a Cannon Bullet did unfortunately light on that noble Giant, and bereft him of his Life; which so daunted his Army (his Valour giving Heart and Courage to them all) that the Panyms got the Victory, killed many of the Army, and the rest retired into the strong City of Shannonopolis; but the Places being Fifty Miles from the Sea, so that no Relief or Provision could come to them by Sea or Land, they, with the allowance of King Eugenius, Capitulated, but upon such good terms that he by yielding to it as he did (according to his usual Piety (both preserved all his Subjects in Lyrania from utter Destruction, and withal, it was stipulated that they should have all their Liberties, Immunities, and Privileges restored to them. And moreover, that as many Soldiers as would, should be transported into Luslandia, of which there went twenty Thousand. All which was advised by the Wisdom of the Politic Giant Gallieno, who considered that the Loyal Lyranians that Capitulated, would still retain the same Principles, and be ready to serve King Eugenius upon any fit Occasion; and withal, that this new Army of valiant Soldiers, when well clothed and paid, (all which in great pa●t they wanted in Lyrania) would do Eugenius and himself more Service in Luyslandia, than they could ever have done had they remained in Lyrania: which they performed accordingly, as shall be seen hereafter.  
About this time, or rather before, it the Green-headed Knight Sabaudiero was prevailed upon by the Associates to rise up in Arms with them, against the Noble Giant Gallieno. Nasonius promised him whole Indies of Money, and that he would maintain too at his own cost, many Troops to assist him. The Associates also unanimously promised him, that in the winding up of the War, when they came to divide the Spoil, they would add some part of Luyslandia to his Dominions; having very politicly divided it among 'em, ere they had got a foot in't. This Project was carried so secretly, that never was any mystery of State so carefully concealed. However, the Necromantic Giant Gallieno had not only by his Familiar Spirit got light of it, but had moreover by a strange Charm got an exact Copy of their Agreement. Upon knowledge of which he sent the Valiant Giant Sabaudocrato into his Country, ere he was ready, who took all Montania, otherwise called Sabaudia, and was about to fall into Alpiana, when Sabaudiero confident of the impossility it should take Air, sent Ambassadors to King Gallieno falsely protesting he was his most humble Servant, and meant nothing but Peace and Amity towards him.  
Now did many sober Men admire at this strange action of Gallieno, as breeding himself causeless, and needless Enemies, when he had so many already: For one could imagine that Sabaudiero should be so unworthy and ungrateful to his Uncle, the great King Gallieno, who ever favoured him, and had formerly assisted him against his own Rebellious Subjects, as without any cause given him to join with his Enemies, who sought nothing but his desctruction; which made Men think it very harsh in King Gallieno to invade his Nephew's Dominions, and to refuse to withdraw his Armies till Sabaudiero had put two of his chief Cities, as Cautionary Towns, into his Hands: Till at length, King Gallieno, when he saw his time, showed the Copy of Sabaudiero's Agreement with the Associates; to let the World see how false and hollow-hearted he was, to pretend Peace by his Ambassadors, and yet at the same time to have conspired against his Uncle, his Friend, and his Ally, to bring him, if he could, to utter Ruin. But, it was the Luck of this ill-contrived Association to be supported by the violation of all the nearest Ties of Nature and Honour, and all Laws, both Divine and Humane. Yet did the Noble Gallieno so moderate his Resentment, as not to let Sabaudocrato destroy all his Country, as he could easily have done. pitttying the folly of his Youth, too easily led aside by his Secratary, who had a great Ascendant over him, and had received, as 'tis said, for such treacherous Services, an hundred Thousand Pound from the Associates, but chieftly from Nasonius, who was still very profuse in laying out the easy got Money of Utopia upon Projects of his own, for which, they that gave it, never intended it. Wherefore the Luyslandian Army continued still in Montania and Alpiana; took, and Garrisoned divers of the principal Cities and Forts: But of this; more hereafter.   

CHAP. XI. Of the Annus mirabilis; Or the Campaign of the Year, when the Associates with their utmost efforts intended to invade the mighty Giant Gallieno on all sides, and to destroy both Him, and his, Root and Branch, and also of the infallible Prognostics of his Ruin.  
ALL Men, though never so dull, are taught Wisdom by their frequent Misfortunes; and by their often experiencing what occasioned them; they learn how to prevent them for the future. Wherefore these subtle Politicians, the Associates, though they were but bad Reflecters came at length, with much ado, to discover, after Gallieno had with many repeated Victories beat it into their Heads, that two things especially had given him great Advantages over them, (viz.) his being early in the Field, ere they were ready; and his Carrying the War still into his Enemy's Countries: Hereupon, after many Consultations, they fully and und unanimously resolved to bereave him of both these Advantages, and get them to themselves. But, as nothing is more ridiculous than an Ape, because it is like a Man, and yet is not a Man, so nothing is so mirthful and pleasant as Mimical and Ape-Politicians, who would seem such by imitating the true ones, and yet are Politicians at all. However, they mustered up, and increased their Forces, and bend their utmost Endeavours, both to be beforehand with Gallieno in the earliness of their Preparations, and also to enter Luyslandia on all sides, as well by Sea as by Land; and teach him to let the invading of others alone hereafter, and to study his best Arts to defend his own Country.  
It was agreed amongst them, than an hundred Thousand Men, led by Nasonius, should invade his Territories bordeering upon Inferiana; that the Regomanians should fall into Alsatia; that Don Ibero Formalitosa should enter Luyslandia on the side of Calatonia; that Sabaudie●o should make Incursions into Delphicoris, where his Frontiers were least Fortified; and lastly, that Nasonius and the Hydra should make a Descent upon his Coasts, take his Seaport Towns, burn his Ships in their Harbour, and pillage and spoil all the Country before them. So that now Nasonius did not doubt but that Victoria, seeing her Gallant so beset on every side, would of her own accord come over to him, and renounce her Faith and Troth to King Gallieno for ever. To facilitate these great Undertake, they had prevailed with Don Ibero, to create the valiant Duke of Bawwawia Governor of Inferiana, who had formerly won much Credit by fight so successfully against the Half-Moon of the great Emperor Magog, who accepted his Proffer; though some Men too severe, said, that in doing so, he sold all his Wit and former Reputation to the Iberians, in taking upon him so troublesome and hazardous an Employ, insomuch that he had left little or none to himself, as the Event showed: For he has made no Figure at all of a Soldier, nor done any thing worthy the least note ever since he became Formalitoso's Underling. However, this served to keep up the drooping Hearts of the Inferianians, ready to sink under the ill Success, and bad Conduct of Nasonius.  
As Astrologers consort it with Thiefs to know what they have stolen, that they may get Credit by telling how it was lost, and how to retrieve it: So it is a common thing with all Politicians to give half light of any Success they think themselves assured of, to some Stargazing Conjurer, or Apocaliptical Fortune-Teller of some Reputation with the Common-People, that when they read it foretold, and afterwards see it come to pass, they may conceit it was laid by Divine Providence, and that that Person who is to bring it about, is highly in Heaven's Books; in that God would deign to signify it thus to the admiring World beforehand. Now, Nasonius, who was the very Idea of deep Policy, knew rightwell of what Consequence such a Prediction would be, and therefore resolved to send for his ginger Sydrophell, who had heretofore done him great Service in the same kind when he first intended to invade his Father Fugenius' Kingdoms.  
Sydrophell, when the Messenger came near hand, was sitting in a dark brown-Study what he should say in his next Almanac, by way of Star-Prophecy, and yet not lose his Credit by being quite mistaken. He saw no symptoms of Hope to prognosticate good luck to Nasonius, and was to hearty to the Cause to tell bad: Wherefore he left off that Quest, and betook himself to invent some neat and profitable sleights of gulling the Credulous People, and to make 'em believe he knew almost any Event by consulting the twelve Signs of the Zodiac: As by Aries, how may Cuckolds should be made next Year, and who in particular. By Taurus, who was the first Bull that leaped their Heifer. By Gemini, who should have two Children at a Birth, or meet with double-hearted People. By Cancer, who should deceive them with false Pretences, and delude them by Crawling backwards, while they seemed to go forwards. By Leo, who should be a valiant Soldier, and come to high Preferment for his feats in Arms. By Virgo, who should be Married that Year, and whether the Person courted for a Spouse, be a Virgin, etc. He was got thus far in his Celestial Speculation, when the Messenger from Nasonius knocked at the Door, and summoned him at attend him; where, when he was arrived,— Sydrophell, said Nasonius, Thou knowest, that formerly I caused an hint to be given thee when I had assurance of it myself, of driving my Father Eugenius out of his Kingdom; and thou didst acquit thyself well in prognosticating it very exactly, both to my great credit, and advantage, and thine own. Now I have such another Job for thee: Ask me no questions, nor hint thou heardst any thing from me for thy Life. I do tell thee, and assure thee, that the Luyslandian Tyrant Gallieno, will be quite pulled down this Summer; and therefore Prognosticate it boldly. Let me alone, replied Sydrophell, I will make it so credible, and so plain to all those silly Fools that understand nothing, by the Position of the Planets, and the unintelligible Schemes I shall erect, that none of them all shall in the least suspect that I needed any Sublunary Advertisement of it; nor is it for my credit they should. So, with a lowly bow he departed, blessing his kind Stars, which had shined so propitiously upon him, as to offer him such pregnant occasions to make himself more famous than Booker, Lilly, or any of the rest of that Canting Tribe; for now he made account that not only his Almanacs, that related such grateful News, but that when his Predictions succeeded, all his future Writings would be snatched up faster than they could be Printed. To work than he went, and foretold the doleful downfall of King Gallieno with so much Asseveration, that if their were any Truth in Heaven, that poor King was by the Nasonian Party given for lost already: And to make this the more credible, the Panym Stargazer, Monsieur Helmontius, who had fled from Luyslandia to the Hydra, did (as we may suppose) by the same Inspiration, in which case it is no wonder if good Wits Jump) with all imaginable assurance Prognosticate the same. How exactly their Star-Prophecies were fulfiled, will be seen in the Sequel.  
The Spring was now come, and Nasonius, (as was his custom) having again drained a Mass of Money out of the Pockets of his poor Slaves the Vtopians, took the Field very early with an hundred Thousand of Associate Soldiers at his Heel, and was now tickled with the Conceit how he should firk King Gallieno: But when it came to the Trial, instead of his invading Luyslandia, King Gallieno came himself into Inferiana, and laid Siege to the strongest City and Fort that remained there, called Sambrina, ere Nasonius once thought or dreamt of it. It was very obvious to imagine that King Gallieno would set down before that Place, and it had been easy for Nasonius, he being first in the Field, to have possessed himself of the Posts and Avenues which gave the Luyslandians passage thither: But, as if the senseless Spirit Fatuitosa had intended to make a property of him, and his Associates too, it never once entered into their heads in all their Consultations, to provide against so great a Mischief. However, when the Siege was already laid, then, (as if he awaked out of a Dream, with some sudden noise) he began to bustle up, and bestir himself, and marched directly thither with his whole Army in a most formidable manner, threatening to fight the Giant Gallieno, and raise the Siege immediately: But the politic Giant Grandorsio had by his Skill in Magic, so postured his Army to cover King Gallieno, who, with another Army pushed on the Siege: That Nasonius and his great Officers could not for their Lives tell how to come at them with any Safety, or how to set upon him without hazarding their whole Army. So they very soberly stood still, and looked on, whilst King Gallieno, and his Soldiers did, with incredible Valour and Dexterity make themselves Masters of Sambrina. Some were of opinion, that this was an high point of Policy thus to stand still, and view, that by making their Observations, how wisely King Gallieno went to work, they might learn to take his Towns afterwards. Others said, they came to bear Witness that the Town was surely taken, because they were very nigh, and saw it with their own Eyes. But the Nasonians imputed it to the Luyslandian Witches, or to King Gallieno's Skill in Conjuration, by which he caused a Storm upon the River Mahaignia which sunk some of their Bridges and Boats, by which they should pass, and by some Charm had so stupefied their bethinking Faculties, that they had forgot to provide or look afterward to make more. But the wisest saw, and said plainly, that all those were but Pretences, and that had they passed the River, and attacked the Giant Grandorsio, in all liklyhood it had cost Nasonius the greatest part of his Army. So King Gallieno being now possessed of that strongest City and Castle, feasted his Nobility, and the Lady Victoria, and the next day he sent an Herald to Nasonius, offering him Battle within two days, if he pleased to accept it. Nasonius' returned him this Politic Answer, That he would fight when himself saw fit. Well then, said Gallieno smiling, I see Nasonius has nothing to say to me, so I will leave him to the Mercy of Grandorsio; and immediately returned to Tutelia, with his Lady Victoria, now more than ever endeared to him by seeing his Warlike Courage and Conduct. The Congratulations of his Subjects, and triumphs they had prepared for him were very Noble and Magnificent: But the noble King Gallieno would needs divest himself of that Merit, and give the Honour of that Action to the Amazonian Lady Victoria, who was in his Company all the while he took it: And to that end he caused a large Medal to be Coined, representing Nasonius with his Army looking on, whilst Gallieno with his, took Fambrina, with this Motto about it.  
— Amat Victoria Testes.  
Thus paraphrased in English.  

Victory of her brave, and valiant Deeds,  
No more Authentic Witness could have chose,  
Than this; which Hist'ry's Credit far exceeds,  
An hundred Thousand tamely viewing Foes.    

CHAP. XII. How Nasonius and the Hydra fought against half the Fleet of King Gallieno; together witht the Reason's given by Jupiter, why King Gallieno's Fortune should for the time receive some small Check.  
ABout this time Nasonius and the Hydra with a vast Fleet of near an hundred Men of War, prepared to infested King Gallieno by Sea, fearing he should Land the good King Eugenius in Utopia, where those of his Subjects who had remained Loyal, and others who became so, by seeing their past Errors, and present miseries, were ready to join and receive him: But Fatuitosa had so besotted Nasonius, and his Council, that when Eugenius' Forces came to the Sea-Coast, they weakly imagined they were drawn thither, merely to hinder their making a Descent upon Luyslandia.  
But when the Project was about to be put in Execution, Dame Fortuna, who was never constant in any thing, an had owed King Gallieno a Spite, for a long time, for engrossing the Lady Victoria (for her fickle nature hated that either Love or Success in War should be permanent) and withal, enraged that his Providence and Forecast made him so perpetually Victorious, went to the Throne of Jupiter, and to the Fates, and complained heavily that her Deity would become neglected, and Providence itself grow into Contempt, if humane Courage and Policy should render the Designs of Mortals thus continually successful; wherefore she earnestly besought them for Hers, and their own Honour's sake, to give some Check to the too contant Successes of King Gallieno. The matter was debated in the Senate of the Gods, and it was unanimously voted, that it was unworthy the Celestial Deities, and would seem as if they were Envious of Gallieno's high Merits should they hinder Wisdom and Valour from having their due Rewards and Successes. Especially since Gallieno did humbly attribute all his Victories to the Overseers of the World, and never failed to give Thanks accordingly: But Jupiter standing up, (which made all the rest with a reverend Silence expect his final Determination) delivered himself on this manner.  
It is decreed by the Fates, and I have signed the Decree, and bid it stand irrevocable that Gallieno's well meant, and wisely laid Designs shall in this juncture receive some small Check. Not for his own sake, (for none but Fortuna who is blind herself, could think his Merit ought not to be cherished with deserved success) much less for King Eugenius', whose magnanimous Patience, and Heroic Virtue, under so many afflictions, as well as his noble hearted Charity, and Love to his People, tho' Rebellious, gives him a most deserved Title (besides that of Justice) to regain his Hereditary Right: But for the sake of Traitorous Utopia, and to punish their Crying Sins of dis-allegiance and Ingratitude by the same Man, whom of their own Head, but not by me, they have fond set up to be their King, which makes 'em incapable of so great a Mercy, as the restoring to them so Fatherly and good a Prince. Now, that you may see how just this Decree of mine is of denying 'em. yet as a deliverance from their Oppression, I will make known to you how obstinately and wilfully blind, both Nasonius, and they are, in their wicked and malicious Errors; and what I have done to signify my displeasure at their disloyal, and ungrateful Proceedings; enough to make any repent of their Sins, but such as are hardened in them: I will not speak of the prodigious Mortality of their Soldiers and Land, nor of their Seamen at Sea, nor divers other such; but I will recount some of those disasters which pointed at their particular Persons. I sent an horrible Tempest at Nasonius' first setting forth; by that first inauspicious Omen to deter him, and them, from proceeding on their Cursed Design, and could in Justice have drowned them all, at that time, but that I meant he should be a Scourge to 'em, till they saw their Fault, and became Penitent; but it wrought no effect with either. Well! by my Permission they possessed themselves of their Father's Throne and being settled, fell a building a Hamptonia; but down it came. They did the same at Nothinghamia, but that fell down too; this could not be imputed to Treachery, Negligence, or a common Casuallty; for, none can but know that Kings (their Lives being endangered by the Instability of their Dwelling-Houses,) would make choice of the best Materials, and Workmen; and that those Workmen would use their utmost Care that their Work should be most firm, when they are employed, by such great Personages: Yet in despite of their best choice of Artificers, and these Artificers best Circumspection, both those works suffered a shameful Miscarriage. Now these Instances pointed personally at Nasonius, and his unnatural Tullia: For they cannot name, nor did any one ever hear of any other in the whole Nation, who was going to build in two places, have had such a disaster light to them in both. Was it possible then to impute these illboding Accidents to any thing but an overruling Providence, plainly telling them (in such Language as the Sovereign Governors of the World do generally use) that is, (speaking to them by Deeds) that let 'em use their best care, and exert their utmost art, nothing they build shall stand.  
This working nothing with 'em; I took more severe ways, and sent the dreadful Fire at Alb● Regalis, they removed thence to Nottinghamia; but the Judgement of Fire pursued them thither also; and yet no wilful Malice, or Treachery could be alleged; nor could there be want of particular Care to avoid such disasters in the Courts of Princes. Did they ever hear of any other Person in the whole Kingdom, to whom the like Mischiefs happened, as first to be burnt out of one house, than to be like to be burnt, a short time after in another? Or any in the World, of what Rank soever, (much less of Princes) to whom the falling and burning of two of their Houses did ever happen? 'Tis the common Sentiment of all Mankind, who have any (even unnatural) Religion at all, that when humane Care and Prudence have done their utmost, and yet their Intentions meet with disasters, that 'tis then to be imputed merely, and particularly to the Will of the Supreme Deity. Yet they continue to shut their Eyes against such manifest Judgements, and carelessly huddle up the Consideration of them under the common notions of Casualties; not regarding the Particularities now mentioned. which were far from being common, being indeed till then unheard of. But, did these Men regard any Principles, they might know that what they call Casualty, is with me Providence, and Design; and if it be incredibly particular, it argues some particular Design of mine: And what could that be but to make them, and the World to take notice, by those Events so stangely remarkable, how highly I am displeased that they dare presume with another Man's Money, and on another Man's Ground, to build, or to live in Houses which are none of their own; and that I declare myself by such signal and peculiar mischances, relating to their very Persons, That my dread anger is kindled against them for their unjust Usurpation.  
I proceeded further, and hinted plainly my just Indignation at their audacious and vainglorious Coronation, and their ill-placed Crown, and not to speak of the ridiculous slur put upon Nasonius, by Dame Natura, offended at their unnatural Intrusion into their Father's Throne; I took order, that the Ship called the Crown-Frigat should be sunk, and that other called the Coronation, should by a strange disaster in Calm Wether be suddenly plunged to the bottom of the Sea: Thus to intimate to them, and threaten them, that when they think themselves safest, and furthest out of danger, all their Usurped Glory should in a moment sink into the deepest disgrace, never to rise again. And now, what could I, in Wisdom, have done more to inform that infatuated Nation of my Resentment against their illegal Rulers, and Rebellious Selves, unless I had come down in humane shape (as I did before Deucalion's Flood) and told 'em to their Faces of their deep engrafted Sins? And had I done so, there would not have been wanting Wolvish Lycaon's enough to worry and murder Me, as they did my anointed Vicegerent Eusebius, Eugenius' Father; and would have done the same to Eugenius himself, had he not providently withdrawn himself for his Security. Wherefore, seeing if Gallieno's wisely projected designs be not crossed, he will certainly do that unmerited kindness to the Vtopians, as to restore their good King Eugenius; and I will take order that it suffer some defeat at the pesent, to such a degree as to hinder it. Now, let Nasonius, their Scourge, still harrass, impoverish, and bring 'em to the very brink of Ruin. Let the War they maintain to keep him out, take their Ships, spoil their Traffic, make dear their Foreign Commodities, and all their Provisions too: Let it empty their Purses, and lose the lives of some hundred Thousands of the Vtopians; for, till they repent, and heartily desire to restore their King, the Justice of the Goddess Nemesis cannot be satisfied, nor my dread Anger appeased, nor they deserve the mighty Blessing of good Eugenius' Restauration.  
But to let you further see, how just this Decree of mine is; it is not Ignorance in the Vtopians, which makes 'em thus Rebellious, but wilful Malice against their own Consciences, and against their own Knowledge. To show which, I will not allege how they Sin against my Divine Law, and their own humane Laws (for all such Considerations they have trampled under Foot) but I will challenge them with their own Thoughts, and bring themselves to witness against themselves. Not one Judge or Lawyer in the Naton, but would six Years ago, without any Hesitation, have condemned any Man as guilty of High-Treason, by the Laws of the Land, who should have asserted it was Lawful upon any occasion whatsoever, to have invited a Foreign Prince to invade King Eugenius' Kingdoms, and no less Treason to have deserted him, run over to, or sided with the Invader, much more to have Abdicated their Lawful King, who still challenged his right, and only retired to a place of safety, till he might try their Temper, and receive their Proposals. Again, not one Divine, or Preacher, (no not Scoto Apostato himself, but would, at that time have maintained, and undertaken to prove it out of my written Word, to be divine Law, to pay indispensable Allegiance to him. Nor do the Lawyers either, pretend to have any New Light, to understand the Law of the Land better now and formerly. Nor do those Mercenary Pastors pretend to any New Revelation of my Divine Will, or better means of Interpreting Holy Writ than they had before, when they taught out of it the contrary to what they now profess, Preach, and Practise: And, that both Lawyers, and Preachers held thus formerly, and hold, and teach the quite contrary now, without any pretence of new, or better light, is known to their whole Abdicating Senate, and to the generality of sensible Men throughout the whole Nation: So it is every way most manifest, that nothing but a Rebellious Spirit, Slavish Fear, or Sordid Interest, are the only Rules of their new Interpretations, both of Law, and Gospel. Most justly then do they deserve to be punished by that which was their Sin, their setting up an Usurped Power. Decreed therefore it it is, and that irrevocably, that Eugenius shall not come yet to deliver them, but they shall still reap the harsh Fruits of that which they have so wickedly sown, in despite of my Divine Commands, their own Laws; nay, against their own Consciences and Knowledge.  
The King of the Gods having thus finished his Speech, which was received with an universal approbation, and applause of the Inferior Deities, he immediately dispatched Mercury, his Messenger, to Aeolus, commanding him to hinder the better half of the Giant Gallieno's Fleet from coming up to join the rest. Now, had King Gallieno commanded his Sea-Giant Thalassarchus, to set upon Nasonius, and the Hydra's Fleet assoon as possibly, presuming his whole Navy was got together by that time: That while he kept them in play, King Eugenius with his Army might be safely transported into Utopia. The noble Giant, though not half the number of his Enemies (no more of his Ships but four and forty being yet got together) yet mindful of King Gallieno's precise Order, he thought it became not his duty to gloss upon his Commands, but to obey them literally, struggled against the Wind, and made towards them. Indeed, King Gallieno, who was now far off in Inferiana, having Intelligence that the Wind had been contrary, sent him three several Expresses not to Fight, till the whole Fleet was come up; but by the peevishness of Dame Fortuna, who (for the reasons abovesaid) waited all opportunities to do him some displeasure, they never came to the hand of Thalassarchus. Wherefore, not regarding the exceeding inequality of their number, he like a brave and courageous Giant, boldly set upon them; and notwithstanding their Odds, had rather the advantage during the Fight, having shattered some of the Nasonian and Hydropic Ships, far more than they had done any of his. But, while he retreated the next day, hoping to meet, and join some of his other Ships, and prudently designing by that advantage of number to draw them nearer the Luyslandian Coast, and Ports, where he might with more safety renew the Fight; Neptune, by an order from Jupiter, put back the Tide an hour, so that he could not pass the Cape; by which means sixteen of them were in part burnt by the Fireships of the Enemies, lying on the shore, and so not able to make resistance. But Fatuitosa taking delight to make Fools of those who would needs be so, inspired them with such Carelessness, and Folly, that they never minded the making use of that Advantage but were fully satisfied with the imaginary Conceit of having beaten the Luyslandians, now resounding all over Utopia; that they never dreamed of making any further Conquests, till too late: For the Politic Giant Gallieno had by this delay so Fortified all the Coasts, that having lo●t their opportunity, they durst attempt nothing.  
Many Impartial Considerers denied that Nasonius had the Victory, because (say they) to conquer, is to have the better in Fight, which he had not, and the disadvantage was merely accidental; which put those Luyslandian Ships out of capacity of Fight, and so it required no Mastery, or Valour to do them a Mischief, and therefore was a disadvantage, and loss to them indeed, but no true named Victory, nor any gain to the Enemy.   

CHAP. XIII. How Nasonius intended a Descent upon Luyslandia, and what became of it. As also of the Exploits of the Green-headed Knight Sabaudiero, in skipping into, and out of Delphicoris.  
AFterwards the Vtopians set themselves resolutely to make a Descent into Luyslandia, and it was given out, Nasonius would exert the Quintessence of his infallible Policy and War-Wisdom, in bringing this vast attempt to Perfection, to the utter overthrow of King Gallieno, and his own Immortal Glory. Long, very long had this mighty Project amused all Europe; huge preparations of Cannons, Mortars, Bombs, and other formidable Military Engines had marched with great Solemnity from Thamopolis, and were Embarked. Many hundreds of Transport Ships, and Well-boats were taken up, and made ready. Nay, all that the Wit of Man could invent, or such a noble Exploit could need, without sparing any Cost (for Utopia had Money enough) was put in a readiness. The Soldiers were not only furnished with Arms, and all things necessary nay, (which was to them a special favour and encouragement) with Money too; but as report went, with ten thousand Arms to equip the paynims in Luyslandia, who were to rise up and join with them. The Panym Knight, Misanglus, Eldest Son to the Knight Refugio, who was to command this powerful Army, looked as big as Alexander, hugely proud of this blessed occasion to signallize his matchless Valour, and to equal (for none could outdo them) his Father's unparallelled Performances at Lutosia. What Gazet? What Couranto? What News-Letter, nay, what Nation was there on this side the World which did not ring with the loud and astonishing sound of this renowned Enterprise. The Nasonian Courtiers were all turned Astrologers, and prognosticated the miserable Downfall of King Gallieno, from the success they promised themselves of this undertaking; which was so sure, and the Grounds of it so firmly and wisely laid by the unerring Politics of Nasonius, and the Certainty of it Sealed by the universal approbation of all the Associates met in a general Consultation for that purpose, that it was beyond the casual condition of bearing any Wager (though at never so great odds) to which few or none of their other designs, but were liable. Besides, the profound Secrecy of it, gave it the revered Esteem, of a wonderful Mystery.  
The most searching Wits of Utopia were too shallow to found the dark bottom of it, and were at a deadly plunge how to frame the least Conjecture where this iresistable Thunderbolt would light; but being of a Temper easily apayed with any thing (or nothing) they contented themselves to believe by implicit Faith whatever their Oraculous, and infallible Nasonius did propose to their credulous Assent, and as long as they were thus assured this object of their new Faith was true, they would not be so profane as to dive into the inscrutable Majesty of his Apocalyptical Policy.  
But Fatuito●a, who had only order from the Luciferian Court to besot the Vtopians, in order to the Interest of the Hydra, being a very foolish Fiend herself, went often beyond her Commission, and so infatuated Nasonius, the whole Junto of Associates, and the Utopian Council, and Generals too, that the so much bragged of Design vanished in a Mist; and the brisk Invaders came back greater Fools than they went forth. However, some Nasonian Counsellors were sent down to them, to remove, by their wise Advice the Impediment, that rendered their attempt abortive. But all the effect that appeared of their Consultation was this, that after some dodging (as the manner was) to cozen the People, it should be given out, that they would out again when the Wind served, and pursue their Project: Till at last, men's Expectations being wearied, and in tract of time, pretty well cooled, instead of setting Foot on the Enemy's Country, they went to visit their Friends in Inferiana; and very fairly, easily, and prudently too (there being no danger, nor any to oppose 'em there) they landed at Ostelia; which put their Friends to great Confusion, brought a cruel disgrace upon Nasonius, gave occasion of much mirth to the Luyslandians, and as much regret to the wiser sort of Vtopians to see their expectations still fooled, and such vast Sums still thrown away to do just nothing. In a word, this grand design, as it was conceived and born in a Mystery, so it died as Mysteriously too. The reason of its miscarriage being so carefully hushed up, that to this day few know certainly the occasion of it. Some undertake to clear Nasonius' Credit, and Conduct, by alleging that he never meant or designed any thing in his Life but to March to and fro with a great Army at his Heels, to show his Greatness, and get Money of the Vtopians, in neither of which Projects did his Policy ever fail him, and that all the rest was but pretence, which some unwise Critics misunderstanding to be design, do frame thence a rash and censorious Judgement, that his designs suffer defeat; which (things being rightly understood) is impossible.  
About the same time the young Knight Sabaudiero, assisted by Nasonius' Money, picked dexterously out of the Vtopians Pockets, and by twenty Thousand Soldiers of Austriaco, and Don Ibero, did on a sudden invade that part of Luyslandia which bordered on his Country; where, when he had entered, he plundered and burnt Country Towns, and Villages most valiantly, tho' they were strongly Fortified with Hedges, Ditches, and Mud-Walls, while there was as yet, none there to resist him: Especially the Panym Knight Caprea out of his innate hatred to all that's Sacred, sparing not either Churches or Religious Houses; not caring what Credit he lost his Master Austriaco by such Insolences, so he might gratify the Licentious Humour of his barbarous Regomanians; though (as is said) against the will of Sabaudiero, who tho' he wore the fine Cap and Feather, yet his Officers valued not his Authority, but did in that, and all things else what themselves listed.  
As a lefthanded Fellow, though unskillful, puts a very good Gamester out of his Play; so this Lefthanded Policy of Sabaudiero gave some small trouble to King Gallieno; who, governing all his actions by Wisdom, and expecting that others too, would (to some degree at least) do the same, could never have thought that Sabaudiero, who had now a good Army in the Field, would not have rather attempted first to have cleared his own Country of Enemies, ere he had Invaded that of another. This being no wiser than for a Man, when he knew his own House was on Fire, to neglect the quenching of it, and run to set fire to that of his Neighbour, and all this to satisfy the Braggadocio humour of the Iberian Officers: But, assoon as the news of this impotent Invasion alarmed the Giant Gallieno, and that he sent the Giant Sabaudocrato with Forces to drive 'em out; they showed their chief Policy and Valour in running away as fast as they could (as Thiefs out of a House, when they perceive the Lord of it is awake) ere they could come up to them; carrying some inconsiderable Booty along with them, tho' not of worth to countervail the tenth part of the wise Expedition. Nor had they ability, leisure, or wisdom to stop the Passages, or hindering his Potent Enemy from following him to the Heart of his Country, with such Force (as appears by his flight, and the sequel) as he was not able to resist: There (if not restrained, by King Gallieno's Noble Mercy) to take quadruple Satisfaction. As for these Subjects of King Gallieno, who had been thus harrass'd, he, by easing 'em from Taxes for Many Year's; by repairing their Buildings, and other prudent Methods he took, reduced 'em again to as good a Condition as ever. And moreover to comfort 'em, and secure 'em for the future, he fortified their great Towns, and the Passages into his Country on that side. Only Sabaudiero got, and carried away with the due reward of such inglorious Foolhardy Sacrilegious Actions, inflicted on him by the just hand of the Goddess Nemesis, incensed at him for his unnatural opposition to his obliging Uncle, a soul disease, and an ugly disfigured Face: the former of which and the Arrears of it could not by any help of Art, he cured for a Year after, and often brought him to the brink of Death, a proper Trophy for such soul Actions. But we will leave him at present, and return to the Heroic Nasonius.   

CHAP XIV. How Nasonius thought to surprise the Giant Grandorsio's Camp at Steenkirkia, and how he succeeded. And of his attempt on Ipresburga; as also of his noble Enterprise to Besiege Dunkirkia Together with what happened in Regomania.  
NOW did the hopes of doing any good upon the mighty Giant Gallieno, rest upon the puissance, and policy of Nasonius, and the Duke of Bawwawia, who had a great Army in Inferiana yet entire; for they were very moderate Men in their way, and had no such vast designs as too Besiege any of King Gallieno's Towns, which might lessen their Armies, or impair the number of their Men, and Grandorsio had sent many of his to other Places: Yet it was necessary for Nasonius, especially having this seeming advantage, to do something at least to uphold his Credit, much sunk last Year by doing nothing at all. Long time he had watched his opportunity, and at length thought verily he had caught it: For being informed by some of his infatuated Scouts, that the Giant Grandorsio lay negligently, and weakly encamped near Steenkirkia, he betimes next Morning drew forth his Army, and marched without beat of Drum, or sound of Trumpet, not doubting but that now he should take him napping, rout him Horse and Foot, and revenge the disgrace he had formerly done him, by forcing from him the Amazonian Lady Victoria: But arriving at the place, the Giant (to his great surprise and dis-satisfaction) having had timely notice of this design by Mephostophilo) had so postured himself, and so conveniently disposed his Army, that they might regularly come up to relieve those that went before, and received him so warmly, that the Foolhardy Vtopians, who bore the brunt of the Charge, were after a sharp Conflict, totally defeated.  
Indeed, Nasonius himself did that day signalise exceedingly his Valour, by standing half a Mile off on the top of an high Hill, and thence, as the Gods used to view the Grecian and Trojan Hosts when they fought, did very attentively behold all that passed: and As if he had taken a peculiar Felicity in seeing the Towns of the Associates taken▪ and their Armies routed, while he, as if he had been unconcerned, and only came as a curious Spectator, stood still, and looked on. Those that fell, were all Vtopians, or those whom they had hired; For, tho' being the Generallisimo, it lay in his Power to send the Hydropic Soldiers to relieve them; yet, mindful of his Promise to Lucifero, which was to sacrifice the foolish Vtopians to preserve his darlings the Hydropicks, he very fairly let above ten Thousand of them be knocked o'th' Head, without coming himself, or sending any Soldiers of the Hydra to assist 'em. Some imputed this strange Carriage of Nasonius to want of Courage, orthers, to his defect in Conduct; but, others, without disparagement to these two Qualifications, (which they are far from denying to him) attributed it, as the main motive to his following the faithful advice of his Spouse Ambitiosa, charging him not to come too near the Armies of the Necromancer Gallieno, and to the Inspiration of the Arch-Fiend Diabolica, to be most ungrateful to those to whom he was most obliged.  
Not long after, Nasonius having stayed long in one place, began to want Forage, the reason of their continuing so long in the same spot was very Politic, for they were ashamed to go back, and durst not go forwards; and therefore, out of a deep reach of Wisdom, they judged it best to sit still. There was a part of the Country which was very plentiful, having never yet been harrassed by the Armies, which they had a Month's Mind to be nibbling at: But they knew not how to move, lest the Giant Grandorsio getting light, by his Familiar Spirits, of their Intentions, should (as his wicked manner was) set upon their Rear, and pluck some Feathers out of their Tail. However, Grandorsio himself, had an Eye upon that commodious place; and by his Sorceries cast them into such a dead Sleep, that he decamped with his Army, and took Possession of it, ere they so much as dreamed of any such matter: But, when he was gone, they marched on valiantly to the place he had left, and resolved to cry quits with him, by taking the strong Town of Ipresburga, and it was their peculiar manner of Conduct, to have oftentimes done great matters, but that something or other still hindered them: So, understanding that Grandorsio was now a great way off, they with good resolution marched towards it, not doubting but 'twas their own; insomuch that Letters were by way of anticipation sent into Utopia, that it was actually taken. But, so it unluckily happened, that another of King Gallieno's Giants, Nicobelgus by name, having by Sorcery, (for they were all great Conjurers in their way) got notice of their Intentions, came just in the nick, and frustrated their Expectations.  
At this time the Panym Knight, Misanglus who (as was said) had put to Sea formerly to make a Descent upon Luyslandia, and had shamefully miscarried in his project, that they might make a show of doing something, landed his Army in Inferiana: Upon which, Nasonius set up a firm Resolution, being joined with the Forces under Misanglus, to besiege, and take the famous and strong Town of Baldwinopolis: For this purpose he caused great Cannon, Bombs, and all sorts of Warlike Provision to be brought from Mosana, overthwart Brabantia, and in Inferiana. This set up afresh the Courages, and Hearts of the Nasonians; not doubting but the Wisdom and Policy of their Generalissimo was such, that all this formidable preparation could not be made for nothing, and made 'em Cocksure that Baldwinopolis was as good as their own. But so unbiased were their Politics, that they did not yet well know, or soberly consider the strength of the place they were to attack, nor what the Enemy could do to hinder their approaches to it; much less had they compared these (as wise Leaders ought) with their own Force. Wherefore, after they had vapoured a long time and (as it was their main Policy to trump one sham-pretence after another to keep up the drooping Hearts of the Party) had filled the easy deluded Vtopians with assured hopes of such huge Importance; and that the Thamopolitans had, upon that Prospect, lent great Sums of Money. They upon second Thoughts (for otherwise they generally acted upon the first) very fairly let the Project fall easily by degrees, and only gave out, they would at least Bomb it, and Fire it; But, when they came to execute even that, they found all too late; that King Gallieno had by his Necromancy raised such enchanted Forts in their way, that it was impossible for them to come within five Miles of it; Besides they were afraid the Wizard Grandorsio, who lay behind 'em, would play them some Legerdemain Trick, if they offered to move far either one way or the other. Whereupon, all the Cannons, Bombs, etc. as i● they had been brought only to Muster, showing their Postures, and then as they were, remarched back again a long Journey to strong Mosana, and so the Project vanished, to the Eternal Discredit of Na●●nius, and the loud Laughter of all sensible Men, and served only ●o show the weak Politics, and great Fo●ly of the Pro●●c●ors. A ●ertain Hydropic, (for these 〈◊〉 have a pretty kna●k at 〈◊〉 Picture) would needs 〈◊〉 N●●●nius in a motley Coat, and a ●abel out of his Mouth, with this Motto NON POTAR●M, and a Phrygian inspiring him how to c●●ch ● Butter●ly, which when 〈◊〉 ●ame near, and reached out hi● hand 〈…〉, it immediately 〈◊〉 away, so that all he could do was to 〈◊〉 after it.  
No better success had the Associates in attempting to invade the Country of Grandosio, from which the Giant of that Name had his Title, for they were utterly routed by the valiant Giant Harcourtio; lost two Thousand Horse, and a great part of their Foot; and were forced to retire with much Shame. In this Conflict, the Lyranian Soldiers (who, as was formerly said, were transported into Luyslandia upon the Capitulation of Shannonopolis) won much credit for their courageous Behaviour, breaking down all before 'em. By which they convinced the World how slanderously the Reports were, that were spread of 'em in Utopia; for than they were not inferior to the best of the Nasonians, when well clothed, armed, and fed; all which in great part they wanted in Lyrania.  
It passed after the same unfortunate manner, or rather much worse with the Regomanian Associates, Needs they would (as it had been concerted amongst 'em) invade the Territories of King Gallieno on that side, and destroy Alsatia: But having appointed three or four solemn Drinking Matches (which out of Devotion to God Bacchus, they would not omit) they had not leisure to come into the Field till the Campaign was almost at an end; and when they did (as if the fumes of the Wine had not been yet well evapourated, they took such broken Measures, that when they made account to pass into Luyslandia, where the great Giant Allemano-Mastix had strongly posted himself, they lost many Men in attempting it, and were forced with shame and loss to retire. After which, that Politic Giant led 'em such dances, ad made 'em reel from one end of the Rhenusia to the other, till their Heads were giddy, and quite ravelled all the Designs their muddy Policy had laid. In the mean time Allemano-Mastix waiting his opportunity, took their Towns, burned, and plundered their Villages, and put all the large Country of Wirtemania under Contribution. But the Campaign now drawing to an end, and the Associates thinking it a great Dishonour to them all, that the avowed Project of invading Luyslandia should come to just nothing at all. They (poor dull Gentlemen!) held a Consultation, as their Courants tell us, for a whole day together, what they should do, and the Result of it was, the Besieging the Castle of Ebrenburga, defended by no more than three hundred of King Gallieno's Soldiers. Mean while the Politic Giant Allemano-Mastix, having defeated their Army beyond the Rhenusia, and taken the Duke of Wirtemania Prisoner, hasted to raise the Siege. But assoon as this came to the Ears of the improvident Knight Hessio, who would, contrary to the Sentiments of the rest, undertake that worthy Business; away he ran as fast as he could, and yet for all his haste, there wanted but little of his being intercepted in his Flight, by the vigilant Allemano-Mastix, which had cost him the loss of his Army, and brought him Prisoner to Tutelia, to bear his Fellow-General, the Duke of Wirtemania Company, in their Land of Captivity.   

CHAP. XV. How Nasonius surprised Meudixia, and Furnium, which were soon after retaken by the Giant Nicobelgus.  
THE Season of the Year began to grow so severe, that Soldiers could not much longer abide the Field; and scarce any thing but one Disgrace upon the Neck of another, had befallen Nasonius, so that he thought he must now be forced to break up that Years Campaign, with an irreparable Blast upon his Reputation, upon which he was so cursedly fallen out with himself, and grown so enragedly out of Humour, that he was become a Plague to himself, and a Torment to all that were about him. Yet in this Temper he at length bethought himself, and he, which never had any kindness for Women, but for the promoting some wicked Designs▪ retired to the Apartment of the haughty Daughter of Lucisero, his Coneubine Ambitiosa, with whom he very passionately expostulated his Case, telling her, that he thought his Designs to be wicked enough to have obliged her by her own Inclination to assist him, though there had not been that near Relation between them, and that he wondered that She and her Mai●s of Honour could not, or would not do him as good Service against his only Enemy Gallieno, as they had done against his Father Eugenius; she replied, That his Sorrows and Disgraces were also hers, and that she was as deeply affected as himself with all his Misfortunes and Disappointments: That she and her Maids had not been wanting on their part, but the strict Government, and strong Spells set upon Luystandia had hitherto rendered all their endeavours ineffectual; but that she would immediately haste away to her Father Lucifero, the grand Master of all misrule, and mischief, all the World over, and having consulted with him, would contrive something yet, which might make for his better Satisfaction before the Campaign ended. Upon this she immediately posted away, and he a little better comforted with her Promise, lay down to try if his troubled Mind could admit of, or find any ease or refreshment in a little Sleep.  
Ambitiosa somewhat nettled with her Gallant's Misfortunes, made all haste to the Plutonick Court, where she found her Father Lucifero all alone, drawing up a Scheme of Hellish Politics, how to employ all his Under-Devils, and fill the World with Wickedness and Confusion, whom, without further Ceremony, she thus rudely accosted. Dread Sire! whilst you take care even of the minutest matters, relating to your Infernal Dominions, I wonder you should be so regardless of my Gallant, and your Son-in-Law, Nasonius, as to suffer that damned Necromancer Archimedes, to command your Spirits to his assistance against him, and to blast all his designs, and undertake? As she would have gone on, Lucifero with a kind, but somewhat scornful Smile, thus took her up. My dear Daughter! if you be such a fool as to be fallen in Love, yet I pray do not take my work out of my Hands, and teach Lucifero to play the Devil; I throughly understand Nasonius, he is as fit an Instrument for my use, as the World affords; but if I should flush him a little too much with Successes, the Devil himself would not be able to rule him; and when he descends hither, and (if for want of my Spectacles I lately read right in the Book of the Destinies,) his fate is not far off, he would be as ready to dethrone me his Hellish Father-in-law, as he hath already shamelessly in the face of the whole World done the same to his too kind Earthly Father-in-Law. Besides I am highly offended at the wrong done to you, and I wonder that you should not highly resent it, to see Sodomicus more dear to him than yourself; for though Sodomy be a Sin of my own Invention, devised on purpose to make the Righteous Jove with his Thunderbolts to strike down all Mankind to Hell, as it did provoke him to destroy whole Cities by Fire from Heaven, yet I am not pleased to see my darling Sins turned against myself, and my own dearest Daughter thereby wronged: And further, you know that it is an infallible Maxim in Hell, That I must bring all my Servants to Shame; and the more signal Service they do me, so much the greater Shame must they be brought to, and I assure you he shall have it, according to his deserts. But, because at present I have great occasion for him, I will give him some small Encouragement; go therefore and advise him to set upon Meudixia, and Furnium, and I will take care that both shall fall into his hands.  
Ambitiosa● Zeal for her Gallant, upon her Father's Lecture, began to cool, and being somewhat weary of the open Air, and desiring to refresh, and recreate her Devilish Nature for some time in Hell, and also being suspicious that her Father had some trick, and further design in it, which she durst not then inquire after, she would not go herself, but with a low Courtesy retiring, she went and called for the old Mother of the Witches C●am●ogna, and having given he, her Errand, presently dispatched her away and immediately the old Hag bestriding her Broom-staff, and muttering to herself her usual Charms, road post through the Air, and in the dead time of Night alighted where Nasonius with his Army lay, and entering high Lodging Room, she somewhat rudely drew his Curtains; at which, Nasonius, who for grie● and vexation could not Sleep, was not a little startled, fearing the Devil was come to fetch him away alive; but seeing the Flags writhled Face, and sunk Eyes, he presently knew his old Friend Crampogna, who had done him many a Kindness, and thereupon took so much Courage as to ask her, what might be her Business? Quoth she, I am come from the Infernal Court to tell you, that your design to take in some Towns was not amiss, but that your mistake lay here, that you made your attempt upon places of such strength, as the shallow Brains, and cowed Hearts of your Soldiers were not able to cope with, you should have set upon such as you were sure could not have withstood you; for a Town is a Town, and if you had surprised but a Pidgeon-House, we could have made as great a Noise about it, as was for the taking the sometime thought Impregnable, strong holds of Petrana, and Sambrina, and thus have balanced your Reputation: And now I have in charge from the great Lucifero, to bid you go immediately, without making any noise beforehand, and set upon Meudixia and Furnium, and you shall not want the assistance of all the Powers of Hell. Nasonius, whose Mind was uneasy, and who was never very Courtly, received her Message with a kind of sullen Reservedness. The Hag took it somewhat heinously, that he seemed so little to regard her great Pains, and so kind a Message, and in an angry Tone said, Well! For this once thou shalt succeed in thy Enterprise, but because thou serest so light by my kindness, I will give thee one small Shot before I go, and therewith she sucked in her Breath, and squeezed her Body, whereupon her Guts fell a rumbling, and out slew a Fart, that roared in his Ears like Thunder, and left such a suffocating stench behind it, that poor Nasorisus, whose Lungs were not very good, could not forbear Coughing for above half an hour after: But Sadomicus lying near, and mistaking it for Canonshot, sprang into his dear Master's Room with all speed, where when he came, the Witch indeed was flown, but bearing the ugly noise of a rotten Cough, and smelling such a poisonous stink, he thought there was some damned Design, and bawled out, Treason, Treason, as if he would have torn his Throat. Nasonius could not prevent him, because he could not speak for Coughing, so in rushed the Guards, and all within Hearing, who all cursed the Stink, and some swore that they were got into the Devil's House of Office. Nasonius, as ill natured as he was, could not forbear Smiling, and as soon as he could recover his Breath, said, My Friends, I thank you for your Care, but be not too inquisitive, all is well, and perhaps much better than you think, go to your respective Posts, and take care to be ready early, for I intent to March by break of Day.  
As for the Forts, Mendixia, and Furnium, they were neither great nor strong; nor had the powerful Necromancer Archimedes, set any Spell, or Charms upon them; only in whose hands soever they were, they afforded some advantage to annoy the other, and to secure, or hinder Foragers; some thought that Grandorsio did design to flight them, others said, that he kept them only as a Bait for Nasonius, but however it was, they were but weakly Garrisoned. Hither Nasonius hasted with all his Forces, and also with the recruits of those Aids who had lost their way in a foolish Project of a Descent into Luystandia, and upon that account had repaired to him; it was not possible for those small, and weak Places to withstand so great a Force, yet at first they made a brisk defence, but finding they could not hold out, they surrendered upon Honourable Terms, and marched away to Grandorsio, to acquaint him with the truth of the matter, and receive his orders; and so in a very short time, both these Forts successively ●ell into the Hands of Nasonius, which not a little puffed him up: And whereof, News was presently sent into Utopia, where was great rejoicing; but to secure what he had gotten, he put a very great number of Soldiers therein, under the Command of Ginglero, who had done such Feats in Lyrania, and left with him store of Cannon, Powder, Ball, and all sorts of Ammunition so that he seemed to b● furnished to withstand a Potent Army And now the Season for the Field seeming quite spent, away rode. Nas●nius in Triumph to Hollo, where under colour of Hunting, he met with his Confiden●s, and the choicest of the Heads of the Hydra, who all laid their Noddles together, and set their Wits on the Tenters, in contriving how to squeeze the stupid, infatuated Vtopians, and draining away their Coin, to leave them as Pennyless as Witless.  
But now behold an unexpected turn, which altered the whole Scene of Affairs; for when all thought the Campaign for that Year was ended, and while they were rejoicing in Utopia, and consulting, or hunting at Holoo, the fierce and restless Giant Nicobelgus, having received private Orders all on a sudden, like Lightning comes with a strong Army of Mad, Fiery Sparks, and demands Restitution of both the Forts, Meudixia and Furnium, alleging that they were only lent to make a Jest on, and as he could take them again when he would, so to prove the truth of what he said, he would have them now. Ginglero trusting in his Forces, Ammunition, and Provision, gave big Words at first, and dared him to do his worst: But Nicobelgus, besides his resolute Army, had certain Enchanted Engines, which were sent to him by the famous Necromancer Archimedes, wherewith he sorely annoyed the Forts, and the Defendants; but above all, the Conjurer had sent him certain Iron Balls, wherein, by his Magic Art he had enclosed a great number of active, malicious Spirits, which being thrown into the Air, made dreadful Sights, and would also without ceasing, spit down Fire directly into the Faces of the Besieged, so that none were able to endure them. Ginglero, and his Forces being affrighted, and unable to withstand such unusual Assaults, yielded up both the Forts to the fierce Giant Nicobelgus, leaving behind them all their Cannon, Ammunition, and Provisions, to the great dishonour and damage of Nasonius, and the Associates: And thus in a short time all their Glories were sullied, and their Joy turned into Mourning, so little assurance is there in the enjoyment of any Humane Affairs.   

CHAP. XVI. How Nasonius returning to Inferiana, kept himself and his Army in an Enchanted Circle, and what Means the Giant Grandorsio used to get him out; and how he discomfited his Host.  
AFter so many shameful Miscarriages, Nasonius, though Impudent enough, could scarce set on a Face to return to Utopia; but go he must, for there the Goddess Mammoneta had a great Hoard, wherein lay his self, and his Hopes, and indeed thence only could he hope for Supplies to support both himself, and his drooping Associates; but having sent Fatuitosa before, she so played her part among the besotted Vtopians, that at his coming over, they received him with joyful Acclamations, never regarding, or talking of their Losses, but expessing all thankfulness, that the Person of their Idol had escaped; and as a Testimony of their Joy, and their true Love to Mischief and Rebellion, quickly furnished him both with Men, and Money, in a more prodigal manner than formerly. Nasonius, thus plentifully provided, could scarce have patience to wait for the Spring, but hasted away to Inferiana, that, if possible, he might take the Field before the Enemy; and being come thither, he presently got together both his, and the Associates Forces; but when he considered what an Enemy he had to do with, his Heart smote him: For, his Enemy Grandorsio was not only valiant, but naturally Crafty, and of the greatest Experience of all the Giants, which fought in the Quarrel of the Mighty Gallieno. This made our Knight stagger in all his Resolutions, and therefore that he might come to some Issue, he retired into a certain deep hollow Vault, where Crampogna had obliged herself to give him the mee●ing at any time, upon the use of a certain Call, consisting of some odd, uncouth, Necromantic Words, which she had taught him.  
When Nasonius had repeated his Bead-roll, the Witch was forced to appear, but she seemed to come in no very good Humour, and our Knight remmembring the Affront he had before put upon her, now set himself all he could to Light a Candle to the Devil, and to entertain her with the utmost Courtship of a Froglander; and thus he began. My dearest Crampogna, I hope you can pardon a thoughtful Man, who did not entertain you and your last Message in such manner as I ought; it was the trouble of my Mind, which diverted my Thoughts, not any want of respect to you, whom I highly honour, and next to Lucifero adore. Forgive my neglect, and be the same kind Crampogna to me as formerly. I have a bold, and cunning. Enemy to deal with, but I have a gallant Army, advise me what to do. The Witch poutingly replied, You know you are much better at shitting than Fight, and if you had taken the course, by all manner of Lies, and Slanders, to beshit your Enemies, it would have stood you in more stead, and done them more disgrace than ever you are like to do by drawing your Sword; but something you must do with all these Forces, and that you may be sensible that I am more kind than you deserve, I will give you such advice, that if you be quick in pursuance of it, it will put Grandorsio into such a Rage, that he will go near to endanger his whole Army; but be sure you warp not from it, for if you do, mischief will befall you. At this his heart leapt for Joy, and with a thousand Thanks he could not forbear embracing the ugly Hag, who put a stop to his Courtship, by thus proceeding in her Discouse. There is (quoth she) a certain place yclepied Vivaria, by nature strong, but still more strong, by reason of certain Charms laid upon it by the Conjurer Archimedes, which are still in force. Thither go and encamp and I will use all my Arts further to secure you, so that Grandorsio shall not attempt any thing upon you, but to his Damage, but be sure to keep you there. As Nasonius was about to make his Compliment, he heard a rumbling noise, and therewith came so violent a Wind, as made the Vault shake, and the Earth tremble under him, and while he stood aghast, expecting the Issue, the Witch insensibly slipped away and left him alone.  
As soon as Nasonius came to himself, he made haste away to his Army, and marched directly to Vivaria, and there, according to the old Hags advice, Encamped, which when Grandorsio heard, it put him into a strange fit of Passion, for he designed to have Encamped there himself. But, assoon as he could get his Forces together, away he led them to Vivaria, intending by any means to set upon Nasonius; but though his Rage was great, and his Arts many, yet so strong were the Enchantments, which guarded the place, that he could by no means come at him, or do any harm to his Soldiers, but if he approached too near, received harm to himself. By chance, a certain Spirit gave notice of all this to the Necromancer Archimedes, who was not a little concerned for his old Friend, and Acquaintance Grandorsio, and to prevent the danger, if not too late, he immediately dispatched away to him a certain Mercurial Devil, who always attended him, height Mephostophilo, who in a trice flying though the Air, came to Grandorsio, meditating a rash attempt, and delivered him the following Letter from the Conjurer.  
Great Sir,  
In vain shall you attempt any thing against Nasonius at Vivaria; and if you do, you will come off with Shame and Dishonour: For there are certain of my own Spells upon that place, which, it is not in my Power to undo; besides, all the arts and helps that Magic affords, are made ●use of at present for the Security of the place by others; but, if by any Arts (in which ● need not instruct you) you can draw him out from thence, you may defeat him, which is the hearty desire of  
Sir, Your most humble Servant, ARCHIMEDES.  
Upon receipt of this Letter, Grandorsio altered all his Measures, and having dispatched away Mephostophilo with (as is said) a very kind Answer (for the Letter is unfortunately lost) he gave up all thoughts of setting upon Vivaria, and set all his Wits on work how he might draw him and his Army out of that unapproachable Place. To this end he considered that there was a certain place called Episcopatum, which was of great consequence, though not very strong; thitherwards Grandorsio marched with his whole Army, making a faint, as if he would Besiege it; at this the Associates were all alarmed, and Nasonius to prevent the danger, sent a considerable Body of Men from his Camp, who marching another way, got into the Town to secure it. And now Nasonius thinking all things safe, and wanting Provisions, sent a strong detachment under the Command of Signieur Cabbagio, who marched many Miles, with Commission to steal Turnips, and Roots, (and a few Sheep, and Oxen if they could get them) for Sauce. Grandorsio being aware that he had weakened his Army with two such considerable Detatchments, now sent away in good earnest a brisk under-Giant height Villerio to besiege Huana, whilst he himself lay in wait to set upon Nasonius, if he should offer to march forth to the relief of it. This Huana, though no great Town, was of some strength, but the more considerable, for that the taking of it would leave Episcopatum naked, and open the passage to the last Barrier of the Hydropic Country, which so affrighted the Heads of the Hydra, that they plied hard with all the Associates, and all with one consent pressed Nasonius not to suffer a place of such consequence to be ravished from them. Thus being overcome with their complaints, and clamours, he rashly forsook his impregnable, enchanted Camp, at Vivaria, and marched with all the Forces he had to relieve Huana, which was just the very thing Grandorsio hoped, and wished for: But, whilst he, and his heartless Forces made their slow Marches, Villiero followed his Business so close, that he became Master of Huana, before Nasonius drew near it, and sent his spare Forces to reinforce Grandorsio; the tidings of this being brought to Nasonius, his Countenance changed, and his Heart so failed him, that stout rubbing, and the help of the Brandy-Bottle, were scarce able to keep him from fainting away, but being somewhat come to himself, he gave Orders to march immediately back again to his Enchanted Camp at Vivoria. But when he heard that Grandorsio had posted himself in his way, so that he could not return thither, without hazarding himself, and his whole Army, he bitterly cursed those who had persuaded him to leave that place of Safety; and himself, for not following the Witches Counsel; and all his Counselors, who had advised to the making so great a Detachment, to the weakening of his Army; though some say, that none gave such Counsel, but that it was purely his own silly Contrivance, and that none ought to share with him in the Glory of it: All these things concurring with his further Fears, put him into such a vehement Passion, that scarce any durst, or cared to come near him, and that working violently downwards, it so strongly perfumed his Tent, that when it was afterwards taken by Grandorsio, the peculiar Scent thereof, presently discovered to whom it belonged. But to make what amends he could, for this fatal Error, he chose a Place the most like to Vivaria, as in such a straight he could find, and caused his Pioners to fall to work, and called on all his Devils, Witches, and Conjurers, to set their Spells, and Charms, whilst he with a select Party road out, to discover which way Grandorsio was bend; but Grandorsio, who knew that the Pioners, and Conjurers would quickly so guard the Place, as to be a mighty Annoyance to him, was coming in all haste to prevent it; which, when Nasonius perceived, he turned his Horsehead, set Spurs to his Sides, and road faster than ever did any Man for a Wager, and would have thought Pegasus too slow, had He been under him, and before he, and his swift followers could well reach the Camp, they all bawled out, like so many Strenters, The Enemy comes, The Enemy comes, To Arms. To Arms.  
Grado●sio was to lose no time, both to prevent Intrenchments, and Reinforcements, and accordingly straight drawn up his Forces against Nasonius, and now both Armies faced each other, and the Generals encouraged their Men; Grandorsio told them of the Glories they had won, and the Experience they had had of their Foe, nor did he stick to tell them of the danger, and difficulty of assaulting an Enemy in his Camp, but then he spurred them on to it, by showing the Immortal Honour of overcoming it, as also the necessity of doing it now, while the Enemy's Army was weakened by so great Detachments sent away. Nasnius had no great Victories to boast of, and was unwilling to tell his Soldiers, that it was his guise always to run away; but he showed them their advantage of Ground, and told them what unparallelled Glory they should get, if they could now overcome that Enemy, which they never could before; and though the whole course of his Life was in a manner one continued husting humour, yet now he was quite another Man, nand promised golden Mountains to them that did bravely, and even with Prayers and Tears besought them to fight, whilst he, as became a prdent General, retired to a place of Safety, from whence, upon occasion he might give orders, or send Recruits. He could scarce slip away from danger before the Luislanders came on with Fury, but were so stoutly received by the Utopian, Iberian, and Regomanian Forces, who had the advantage of Ground, and resolutely maintained it, that the Field was covered with the dead Bodies of the Luyslanders, and for several hours it was doubtful, which way the honour of the Day would go; but Grandorsio still sending fresh and plentiful Supplies, and Nasonius not taking sufficient Care to relieve his wearied Men, the Luyslanders began to break into the Camp. The Hydropicks all this while, instead of assisting their Associates, had kept themselves together in a safe place, wisely leaving Fools to Fight, and now like Crows, who 'tis said, smell Powder at a distance, apprehending danger to come on, they thought it was their time to be gone, and accordingly away they went, making the best of their way. Nasonius' endeavoured to persuade them to stay, but they thanked him kindly, and told him, that they thought it greater Wisdom to provide for their own Safety, whilst the Armies continued Fight, and secured their Retreat, than to take his Counsel, and stay to have their Brains knocked out. Nasonius, who was always careful to avoid danger, and loved Fight as little as themselves, (though it was necessary he should sometimes make a Bluster, and Show) that they should not be judged wiser than he, without taking any Care, or leaving any Orders, for his Army, immediately fled away as fast as the best of them, and never made stop or stay, till he had rode twelve Leagues, and passed two Rivers, and then dark night putting a stop to his Carrier, he put into a Barn, and covered himself all over Head and Ears in Straw, setting a watch to observe if any of the Enemy came after him. The Noble Duke of Bawwawia maintained the Fight after this for about the space of two hours, till a Loyal Subjet of the injured Eugenius, for his Master's sake then in the Service of the Mighty Gallieno, the valiant Lyranian Lucanio, with his Horse, broke in like Lightning upon the Enemy, seized all their Cannon, and turned it against them, and trampled under Foot, or cut down all before them. And now all the Associate Forces could do, was to shift the best for themselves they could; but the Duke of Bawwawia causing a Bridge to be broken down to hinder the pursuit of the Victorious Enemy, it proved fatal to a great part of his Forces, for Thousands were slain like Sheep by the River side, and such as attempted to get over, not being able to climb the high Banks, were drowned, till the vast number of dead Bodies making a firm Bridge, afforded a way for the poor remainder to run over, and save themselves. In this Battle many great Persons of the Associates were made Prisoners, and many brave Persons slain on both sides, amongst whom, none is to be more lamented than the gallant Lucanio, who, after his wont Generosity, neglecting himself to take care of the Prisoners, and Wounded of the Enemy, his own Wounds rankled, and killed him. The Luyslanders lost many at the beginning of the Fight, but in all, first and last, not so many by two thirds as the Associates, whose Army was wholly broken, and had been totally and irreparably lost, but that the long Fatigue which the Luyslanders had undergone, disabled them from a through pursuit, and make them willing to give off, and enjoy their Victory. However, what remained of the Associate Army, was so dispersed all manner of ways, that it was some Weeks before Nasonius could by any shifts get so many together as might seem to counterfeit any thing like an Army. But, while he lay thus troubled with the grumbling of the Gizzon, and conjuring up all the Devils of Hell to assist him for his Revenge, Gallieno, with the Lady Victoria, were singing divine Hymns of Thanks to the Celestial Powers, and great Entertainments were made at Tutelia, and over all Luyslandia great Demonstrations of Joy were every where solemnly expressed for so signal a Victory.   

CHAP. XVII. How the Green-headed Knight, Sabaudiero, attempted to take Pineria, and how the Giant Sabaudocrato came upon him, betwixt whom there was a Bloody Fight, in which Sabaudiero, and his Forces were overthrown.  
LEt us for a while leave Nasonius, picking up his scattered Forces, and revolving ten thousand Projects, in his Brain, how to do nothing, and see what better Fortune the Associates met with elsewhere: Youth is forward, rash, and greedy of Glory, and in Montania their Forces were thought to be much the stronger, not only as having the advantage in number, but also, as consisting for the most part of stout, and welldisciplined Men; this pricked on Sabaudiero to do something, both for his Glory, and in revenge of his Losses; and after a serious Consultation, where there was scarce one wise Head among them, and that least set by, it was resolved to besiege Pineria, a Town strong, and of great Consequence. And now without delay their Forces were drawn about it; but the great Necromancer, Archimedes, had been there before, and raised certain small magical Forts, which so guarded Pineria, that till one, or more of them were taken, they could not come at it without running a desperate hazard: And therefore that they might seem to act like wise Men, they resolved in the first place to attack the Fort called Pontilla, which they did with great Fury, and renewed f●om time to time with great Resolution; but on the other hand, the Fort was as bravely defended by some select Men put therein, there was nothing of Valour or Industry wanting on either side, there were Mines against Mines, Charms against Charms, (for in those strong Countries they are all addicted to Necromancy) and vehement assaulting, and as stout repulsing: But in the end, their Charms being countercharmed, the Fort woefully battered, and they overpowered with numbers, they found they could no longer maintain it, and yet resolved so to quit it, that it should do the Enemy no good, nor they suffer the least in their Honour and Reputation. And accordingly they secretly convey all their Cannon, Ammunition, and Provision into Pineria, and then they had but one trick to try more, and that was a certain Spell, or Charm left them by the famous Necromancer Archimedes, with this strict charge, that they shoul never use it but in their last neccessity; and this they thought the time, now the Fort was no longer tenable; and therefore they set it on work, when presently all the Fortification fell a heaving, and suddenly flew up into the Air and vanished, whilst the Besieged under coverture of the Cloud, safely retired to Pinera, to reinforce that Place, and descend it against the threatening Danger.  
Sabaudiero was somewhat surprised with the Novelty of the thing as having not often seen such Conjuring Tricks, but withal, proud that he had Conquered such a Devilish place, he swore he would now have Pineria, or make it fly away after Pontilla. They made themselves Cocksure of the place; for they took it for granted, that Sabaudocrato had not sufficient Forces, and consequently that he durst not adventure to relieve it. The noise of this Siege slew abroad into all Countries, and the Associates mightily comforted themselves, that some considerable Feats would be done on their part, which they hoped would force Gallieno to recall many of his Forces out of Inferiana, by which means they might become an equal, if not an over-match for those which should be left. But the foolish Vtopians were so taken and besotted with this small Prank, that therewith they more than balanced all their Losses in Inferiiana, and elsewhere, and conffdently reported Pineria to be taken, before any direct Assault was made upon it; and these Whimsies, and Conceits, working in their giddy Brains, they magnified the rash Youncker Subaudiero, as if Orlando Furioso, or Garagantua had been mere Weaklings, and Pigmies to him.  
All this time the wily Giant Sabaudecrato lay lurking up and down in secret and safe Retreats, as well to conceal, and augment the number of his Army, as to give Encouragement to the unadvised Associates, to fatigue, and break their Forces against a strong and resolute Garrison; but he no sooner had tidings that Pine●ia was really in danger, but he fliely fell down to the relief of it, before they were well aware. His unexpected coming, somewhat alarmed them all, and various were their Opinions of it; some concluded him rash and unadvised, who had been hitherto thought cunning; some said he was a crafty Fellow, and that they ought to beware of him, but these were despised, and branded as Cowards; some said it was only a shame, or bravado, and that he would as quickly be gone again; but a Counsel of War being called, after a short debate (they never making the least question of their superiority in number, and force, nor staying for any Intelligence to know how strong he was) it was unanimously resolved to break up the Siege for the present, and go to meet him, concluding, that if they could fight him, and beat him out of the Field, than the Garrisons, and strong holds having no hopes of Relief, would more easily submit to them: But in the mean time they never thought what the danger might be on their part, in case they were beaten, for they would not spoil their fine Thoughts with such a melancholy Conceit.  
The Associates drunk with assurance of Victory, if they could but find their Enemy, marched away with all the briskness and jollity imaginable; but far they had not gone, when contrary to their Expectation he appeared in Sight; for he was as ready for them, as they for him: And now they too late perceived their Error, for they might plainly see that he was equal, if not Superior to them in number of Men: But however, their Soldiers being well disciplined, and of late somewhat flushed, and eager, they presumed of the advantage in the Stoutness and Valour of their Men, and therefore resolved to give Battle; nor did Sabaudocrato at all decline it. Both sides seeming thus eagerly bend upon it, the Generals drew up their Forces in Battle-Array, in a large Plain, where all advantages for Ground, Numbers, and all other matters (except Brains) were so equal on both sides, that there was likely to be as fair a Trial of Skill, as had been known in many Ages. The on set was fierce on both sides and for sometime it seemed doubtful, which way the victory would incline: After some time the Left wing of Sobaudocrato made the Right Wing of Sabaudiero, where the Altianians were, to give way: but to make amends for that, the Left Wing of Sabaudiero, where the Iberians, and Regomanian were, made the Right Wing of Sabaudocrato to go back in some disorder, so that still there seemed to be no great odds; but Sabaudocrato wisely foreseeing the Danger, and knowing where his Battle was weakest, had so posted the good Knight Prioro, that he might in time of need come to their Succour, which he did just in the nick of time, and thus reinforcing, and rallying them again, the Ibe●ians and Regomanians were slaughtered in great numbers, and being overpowered, were forced to retreat, and Sabaudiero not succouring his Left Wing, it was utterly routed, and now they were no longer able to stand, the best Men retired in as good order as they could, but the greatest part of hi● Forces lay at the Mercy of the Luyslanders, who in their Fury made Mortal Havoc of them; which Sabaudiero beholding, in Compa●●●● 〈◊〉 prevailed with Sicamber, a Valiant, but Wicked Knight, the 〈…〉 old Refugio, to try if he could bring them off, which, with a strong detachment of Horse he attempted, and covered the retreat of many, but in the Action was himself mortally Wounded, and within a few days died. So short an Enjoyment had he of the Fruits of his own, and his Father's Treachery. The Forces of Sabaudiero thus utterly broken, he durst no more appear in the Field, but put what were left into his Garrisons to strengthen them, in hope they might hold out, Winter now drawing on; then fled out of his Dominions for Safety of his Life, and to solicit the Associate Princes to supply him with fresh Succours.   

CHAP. XVIII. How the great Giant Allemano Mastix took the goodly City Necariana, and how the Giant Grandorsio took the strong Enchanted Fort called Caroloregium, and what Measures and Resolutions the Associates and Nasonius took thereupon.  
THis Disaster which happened to Sabaudiero, was upon many accounts very grievous and prejudicial to all the Associates; for it was a strange Blow to their Reputation, and People in all places made it their sport, and cast out bitter Scoffs against them, that those who had so boasted of their Strength in Montania, and told the World how sure they were of Victory, should be so miserably beaten by those whom they despised; but which was worse, they were forced to sit still, and look on, while the Enemy in all places ravaged and spoiled, and did what he list; for they were not able to bring any Army into the Field to face an Enemy, unless a small Force upon the great River, Rhenusia, from whom they themselves did expect little good, and they were not a little afraid that Sabaudiero would clap up a Peace with Gallieno, the way to which seemed the less difficult, by reason of the near Relation between them, and the Inclinations Gallieno had always shown towards it; and that would utterly break all their Measures, and make their bad Condition desperate.  
But still to increase their Sorrow and Shame, Misfortunes and further Losses attended them in all places; the great Allemano-Mastix, had been a sore scourge to them upon the flood Rhenusia; but to encounter, and (if possible) drive him away, they had sent the puissant Knight Rabadenero, who was a villainous Fight Fellow, and had done Wonders against the Half-Moon; but he finding that the Scene was altered, when he came against the brave Luyslander, posted himself securely, and would by no means be drawn to sight, for which, many commend his Wisdom (of which he had scarce ever before given any Testimony) for that he was inferior in number, and had to do with equally disciplined Men, Allemano-Mastix, covetous of Glory, had an aching Tooth to try what this mighty Man at Arms could do, and would sometimes make him fair offers, sometimes ravage his Country before his Face, and was always by one means or other provoking, or tempting him to Battle, but Rabadenero would by no means be drawn to run the hazard.  
Whilst the eager Luyslander was working his Brains to compass his design, it came into his Head that there was a fair City height Necariana, Dedicated to the God Bacchus, which God, the Regomanians adore above all others, for that he was both a Stout Fighter, and a Goodfellow; in this City the Bacchanalia, or Feasts of their beloved God were kept, in which there was no great store Victuals, but a World of Drink; and to that end and purpose, a vast Vessel was made, or rather built, at the public Charge, which might contain Wine enough to serve all the Comers to the Feast, from all Quarters; this Vessel was in all those parts known by the name of Decumandolium Necarianum; and upon the Front, or head thereof, was written in Letters of Gold, this Motto,  
EX LVXET POCULA SACRA  
For this, or the like Reason, I suppose, that when they were mellow with their Festival Cups, their dull Souls were enlightened, or their Eyes saw double, which they took to be a great advantage, and therefore hated Sobriety, because it always bereaved them of half the Goods they had, or which at least they thought they had, whilst their Brains swum in Liquor. Allemano-Mastix concluded with himself, that they would never suffer this Sacred Place, and the Consecrated Vessel to be taken, but would rather fight it desperately at any disadvantage; and therefore to draw them to a Battle (for otherwise he valued not the place) he went and Besieged Necariana, giving out, that if he took it, he would break the Decumandolium all to pieces, so that they should not be able to celebrate the Feast of their darling God Bacchus.  
The noise of this Siege presently slew through all Regomania, and all Persons were mightily concerned for their Holy City, and impatiently urged Rabadenero to relieve it; but he knowing his own want of Forces, and with whom he had to do, could not be prevailed on; but that he might let them see it was not his fault, he earnestly solicited all Parties concerned, for Supplies, but they came so slowly, that it had been to as much purpose, if they had not come at all; for a great part of the Inhabitants fled away at first, carrying their Riches along with them, and though many stayed, and a great number of Soldiers were put in to defend it, yet they drank so plentifully of the Sacred Liquor, out of the mighty Vessel, that they had little mind to defend their Works, but easily quitted them upon every Attempt and in the end, suffered the City to be taken by Storm, making either none, or a very mean defence, whereupon, the Luyslanders committed great Slaughter, (as is always done, where a Place is taken by Assault) got great Riches, and broke the huge Vessel, profanly letting all the Sacred Liquor run about; there were some few who fled into the Castle, but being threatened with an Assault, they submitted upon easy terms, and thus Allemano-Mastix became wholly Master of the place, to dispose of at his pleasure.  
The Regomanians were enraged at the taking their Holy City, and the affront offered to the God Bacchus; and Rabadenero being now reinforced with his late Supplies, resolved to give Battle to Allemano Mastix, to revenge this Injury. But he led them a wild-goose Chase, while they followed stamping, and swearing, and knew not where to find; and yet durst not march very fast, lest they should fall into some of his Ambuscades, and so make the matter still worse, for they were as afraid of his Craft, as they were of his Valour; and thus both Parties standing on their Guard, and seeking their advantage, they were both too wary to do any thing further; and therefore we will now leave them playing at Bopeep, and return to great Giant Grandorsio.  
While Matters stood thus with the Associates, and their Heads and Hearts were full of Troubles, the restless Giant Grandorsio was contriving how he might further distress, and vex them; and well remembering that he had been much annoyed by a strong Enchanted Fort, called Caroloregium he thought this his time to be revenged of it, and well knowing that none now durst appear to interrupt him, or were able to hinder his Design, he marched thither, and sat down before it. The news of this bold Attempt made the Associates at their Wit's end, and though they could do nothing, yet to set as good a Face on the matter as might be, they met to consult what to do; Nasonius, who was always forward, and though Bashful in the Face of an Enemy, yet bold as any whatsoever, when they were far enough off, made this Proposal, That he might gather together all the scattered Forces, and drain all that could be spared out of Garrisons, and go and raise the Siege: They replied, that they were not at present, able to bring such a considerable force into the Field, as might venture to encounter Grandorsio, and a miscarriage in the Attempt might be the loss of their other Garrisons. Nosonius insisted upon it as his Privilege and Prerogative, that no Town ought to be taken, but that he with an Army ought to stand, and look on, or at least be within hearing. Answer was made, that he had forfeited that Privilege, by not being present at the taking of Huana, when he had an Army, and might have been there, and looked on his Belly full, if he durst. Great wrangling there was, and many things were argued to and fro, but in the end it was very gravely concluded, that it was not safe for them to attempt any thing, but they would trust to the strength of the Place, and leave Grandorsio to do what he could, whom in the bitterness of their Soul, they bloodily cursed, whilst he, like the Fox, fared the better for it.  
Caroloregium, was a Place strong, both by Nature and Art, it seemed to be Dedicated to Mars, as thriving best in the time of War, and having few Inhabitants besides Soldiers; it was not easily to be approached, as being Scituate at the meeting of two Rivers; and in the open part, in a great measure guarded by a wonderful Enchanted Pond, or Lake; many mighty Spells had been formerly set upon it by the great Necromancer, Archimedes, and the haughty Don Ibero Formalitoso, setting no small value upon it, had put in the choicest of his Soldiers to defend it, and commanded all his Conjurers to use their utmost Skill to strengthen it against all attacks, so that by many it was thought impregnable: But all this could not discourage the hardy and daring Grandorsio from his Undertaking; yet in pursuing his Design, he met with many difficulties, and was longer held in play, than some, who thought themselves wise, laid wagers he would. When his Men drew near the Lake, strange and terrible Flashes of Fire would rise out of the Water, and lamentably Scorch and Burn them, when they endeavoured to fill it up with Billets, either the flashing Fires in a Moment consumed them, or the Lake swallowed them up, so that they thought it had no bottom. Grandorsio being thus at a loss, sent to his old Friend, that Devil of a Conjurer, Archimedes, who, by the Messenger, sent him this Answer, that he should mind his Batteries, and his Bombs, but not trouble himself about the Lake, nor any way concern himself as to it, for he would take Care of that in a very short time, to his Satisfaction, that he should be able to walk over it dryshod. Having received this Answer, he bestowed no more pains that way, but with his Batteries and his Bombs, so plied the Town, that he scarce gave the Besieged any Rest; and on the other hand, they were not wanting to themselves, but returned Cannon for Cannon, and with continual Firing, gauled, or cut off the approaching Men, and as opportunity served, made sudden Sallies and destroyed the Works, as well as Persons of the the Besiegers. Grandorsio seeing their Resolution, and knowing that none could appear in the Field to disturb him, made slower approaches, and with greater safety to preserve his Men: But in the end, with his Flying Fireballs, he so burned the Town, that it was little but a heap of Ruins, and the Besieged were forced to secure themselves by retiring into certain Enchanted Cells, made by Magic Art, adjoining to their Walls and Fortifications; and to their farther grief, the roaring Cannon had frighted a part of their Wall, so that there appeared a Breach, whereat several Soldiers at a time might enter. While Grandorsio was about this Work, the Conjurer Archimedes was not idle, or forgetful of his Promise, for being one of general Acquaintance, and having dealings with all sorts of Devils, he employed certain Subterranean Spirits, who made such Cavities and Conveyances under ground, that suddenly, to the amazement both of Besieged, and Besiegers, the Pond or Lake appeared dry. Nevertheless, the Besieged still seemed obstinate, and all their Charms and Conjurations did not yet fail them; for violent Flashes of Lightning, and certain Fiery Spirits seemed to guard the Breach, that none could enter; but in the end, their Breaches being daily made wider, the way to them laid plain and open, and there being no hopes of relief, they Capitulated, to whom, Grandorsio granted very honourable Conditions, which being accepted, and signed on both sides, they marched forth, carrying the unwelcome News to the Duke of Bawwawia, and the rest of the Associates, and Grandorsio put in what Forces he thought fit, employing many to remove the Ruins, rebuild the destroyed Habitations, and repair all damage done to the Fortifications, in which work he sent to Archimedes for his Direction and Assistance, so that in a short time he made it stronger than it was before.  
It is to be observed, that, contrary to the relation of all Histories, and all Countries known to us, that the Giants in these Countries generally beat the Knights, and that the Giants are courteous, sweet-humoured, and cheerfully undertake the Protection and Relief of wronged Ladies, and all distressed Persons, but the Knights, except some few, are proud, surly, injurious, and set upon mischief. Such difference is there in the unknown parts of the World from the known. But to return to our Business, it is doubtful whether the taking this strong-hold caused greater Joy in Tutelia, or grief of Heart at Sennopolis. The Associates having gotten nothing all this Campaign, but Shame and Confusion, hung their Heads, and knew not how to look on each other; their only Comfort was, that the Season of the Year for Action being past, Grandorsio had dispersed his Forces into their Winter-Quarters, and was gone to the mighty Gallieno, to give him an account of all Transactions, and consult what was to be done for the future; whereupon, the Associates met at Sennopolis, and held serious Consultation how they might repair their broken Fortunes. Some said, that their Moneys were spent, their Soldiers Slain, their Towns taken, and that if Sabaudiero made a Peace, they were all undone, and that therefore it behoved them to take Care of themselves: At this Nasonius rose up in a Rage, ask if they intended to betray him, who had fed them with such Sums of Money as they had never before seen, and urged their Promises, and solemn Oaths, that no Peace should be made without his Consent. It was replied, that he himself upon occasion, never stood upon such Formalities, and therefore it was unreasonable for him to press any such thing upon them, unless he could produce his Charter of Privilege, that he alone was not to be bound by any Promises or Oaths. Nasonius smelled that their design was to get more Money, and therefore in a calmer Style, answered thus: That it would be an Eternal Shame to give over thus, that there was no want of Men, which they could raise abundantly, and that he had made so many Beggars in Utopia, that he did not question, but that in a short time he should out of them raise a formidable Army, and that if Money was wanting, they should be supplied to their Heart's desire, for Utopia was not yet above half drained, and he was resolved not to leave one Penny in the Kingdom, rather than any Associate should want; and that at present to secure Sabaudiero, he would send him more Money than his barren Dukedom ever afforded him, and make him think himself the Richer for his Loss. At these Golden Promises they began all to prick up their Ears, and talk complyingly; and so, some Pittance at present being distributed among them, and an agreement made, what share he would afford to every one, they came to a Resolution, that they would all raise more than their former Quota's, and try their Fortune● the next Year with greater Forces and Courage than ever.  
Nasonius could scarce sleep for thinking what large Promises he had made, which it was not possible he should perform, unless he could most shamefully gull the Vtopians out of their Money, of which he was somewhat doubtful at this time, because by reason of his great Losses, and ill Conduct, he must return to them under some kind of Disgrace but that he might consult what to do, he repaired to Holoo, where he found his damned Mistress, Ambitiosa, newly returned from the Revels at the Plutonick Court. To her he made a long and lamentable Complaint of his Misfortunes, expostulating with her, why she had deserted him at such time; as he most needed her Advice and Assistance. Quoth she, There are certain Laws of Hell (unknown to you) which indispensably required my Presence there; but withal, she told him, that his Misfortunes befell him through his own Rashness, and Inconsiderateness, in that he had not followed her Counsel; but (said she) if you will yet follow my Advice, I will do all I can for you. This somewhat cheered his Spirits, and after a seeming passionate Salute, he entreated her to open her Mind. She bade him to make haste to Utopia, without any the least Fear: for said she, I have sent before you, Fictitiosa, and Fatuitosa, and before you can possibly get thither, the one will have framed so many Lies in your behalf, and the other made them believed, that when you come, you shall be received with Ringing of Bells, roaring of Cannons, making of Bonfires, and all the Windows of their Houses set with glaring Farthing Candles, as if they were all in a Flame, so that you shall return in such a Triumph, as the most Famous Greeks or Romans never knew or heard of. But when you come thither, above all take care to caress the Bethlehmites of Dom. Com. give them Offices, Places of Profit, large Pensions, larger Promises, stick at nothing: I have prevailed with Mammoneta and Fatuitosa so to bewitch them, that they shall not only afford you Supplies beyond your expectation, but contrive such Tricks, and find out such ways and means, as shall make all the Moneys in the Kingdom run into your Exchequer. Nasonius' overjoyed with these Promises and Prognostics, after a plentiful return of Thanks, in the kindest Expressions his sour Nature could squeeze forth, took his formal leave, earnestly begging that she would not be long after him, to advise and assist him in any difficulties, that might arise, and then in all haste departed for Utopia, to put her advice in Practice.  
What is to ensue, History cannot at present inform us, it belonging to Astrology, or rather, it being wrapped up in the Shady Leaves of Destiny. To prejudge of which (leaving the Foppish Almanac-makers' to fool weak People with their silly Predictions from the Stars) we may frame a more solid Prognostic from the immense Riches, vast Power, and highest Wisdom of King Gallieno: The former of which can never be exhausted by the Wars, whilst the multitudes of Ships he has taken from the Vtopians, (reckoned to be above Two Thousand Five Hundred, since the War began; and perhaps near as many from the Hydra, and the great Contributions he raises upon his Enemy's Countries) bring him in such huge supplies, besides his own vast Revenues. Secondly, from his Power, which increases daily, He having raised for the next Year, upwards of Sixty Thousand Soldiers, besides Recruits, and knowing how to use the Victories he still obtains, as well as how to get them. And lastly, from his Wisdom which lays all his Designs in the best Methods, out of a true and exact a Knowledge of all that his Enemies can do; His intelligence of what they aim at, and his proportioning the Causes, he lays to the effects he intends, in comparison of which; the best Policy of the Associates is merely Childishness: Every Man of good Sense, being able to discern that their Projects are laid in no steady Tennent and carried on disorderly and distractedly; as if they proceeded from Men merely awaked out of their Sleep, or half frighted out of their Wits by the Surprises he gives them. This high Wisdom I say, is that, which (being peculiar to himself) gives a dazzling Lustre and Glory to all his Designs, and entitles him to the protection and Assistance of Divine Providence.  

Nullum numen abest si sit prudentia.  
Whole Heaven does for Success engage,  
When Sovereign Prudence War does wage.   
FINIS   

POSTSCRIPT.  
BEfore the Devastations made by these Bloody Wars, the places where these things appeared were generally very rich, and plentifully stored with all manner of Commodities, but the Merchant, who for his gain: had a long time traded in these unknown, unheard of Parts, during these Convulsions, had undergone no little trouble, and sustained great losses, and now by some means coming to the knowledge of these future Counsels and Revolutions, weary of these continual Dangers, and ●earing the Storm, gathered together all his Effects he could, and Embarked for England, his own Country, where he lately arrived, and now resides in London; his Name is Mr. Non-such, a courteous, and affable Person, and very free and open ●n his Discourse: He dwells at the sign of the ●●ico●ns-Horns, in the Oudemi●n-St●eet, whither if any please to repair, they may have from him a very large and satisfactory account of these strange Countries and Actions; but he hath told so no of his Friends, that he left a greater share of his Effects behind him, than he is willing to lose, and therefore intends speedily to adventure one Voyage more, and if it please the Fates, that he return in safety, he shall then be able to give a further, if not a full accounted of all the strange Revolutions, Hellish Contrivances, Cruel Wars, and Infinite Convulsions, which have now almost wasted those goodly Foreign Nations so little known in these parts of the World.   

The Reader is desired to Correct with his Pen the following Erratas, which among others less considerable, slipped in the Press.  
Page 3. line 1, for the Throw read be thrown. p. 5. l. penul for which, r. such. p. 11. l. 22. after to, insert go. p. 12. l. 7. for Gentlewoman, r. Gentleman p. 17. l. 6. for trickss, r. tricks. p. 26. l. 1. r. Proboscis. p, 28. l. 31. for willy, r. wily. p. 30. l. 74. for i, r. in. p. 34. for would, r. should. p. 37. l. 19 deal (and put it in the beginning of l. 20. ib. p. 39 l. 5. for send, r. go. p. 42. l. 28. deal Eugenius. p. 46. l. 18. for ased, r. asked. ib. l. antepenult. for them, r. them. p. 47. for Grendosio, r. Grandorsio. p. 18. l. 27. for places, r place. p. 51. l. 4. for Bordeering, r. bordering. ib. l. 5. for Form●litosa r. Formalitoso. p. 54. l. 21. for Fambriva, r. Sambrina. p. 56. l. 15. for, yet as; r. as yet. p. 61. l. 32. after with, insert in Contents of Chap. 14. for Dunkirkia, read Balwinopolis. p. 72. l. penul. for self, r. heart. p. 76. l. 21. for Stenters, r. Stentors.