Mother SHIPTONS Christmas carols, With her Merry Neighbours. Also a description of her person with a witty Dialogue between Roast-Beef, Mince-Pye, and Plumb-Pottage. Contending for superiority with the Verdict of Strong-Beer their Moderator there upon. Here Mother Shipton doth her self present In pleasant carols for your merriment, 'Tis a strange case if she doth not appear Handsome enough with such good Christmas cheer, Roast-Beef, Mince-Pye, Plumb-Pottage, such sweet stuff prophesy choke her if she han't enough, red o'er the Title, and what follows after 'twill fill your heart with joy, your tongue with laughter. LONDON, Printed by P. Lillicrap for William Harris in Dunnings alley in Bishopsgate-street, 1668. Mother Shiptons Christmas carols. MOther Shipton, being a woman of very strange parts, and monstrous abilities, I think it would not be amiss to give you first of all a full description of her outward shape and lineaments of body, as well as the inward manner of soul, she had▪ Which I would most willingly do in verse, but that I fear her Nose is so long, 'twill hardly come within the Compass of six feet. However i'l try. 1. Her Hair of brindled coloured hue in Snaky curle● did dangle, Which might the State a kindness do made in●● Ropes▪ to strangle. 2. Her Beetle Brows forget I not nor Teeth as white as Amber, Her Face did shine like pewter pot belonging to the Chamber. 3. Her saucer Eyes of Cannon bore, were big ten times as thine, Like powdering Tubs still running o'er or full of standing brine. 4. But shall I speak as to her snout the matter in't, and fat on't; Which like a Hunters Horn stood out a man might hang his hat on't. 5. Her cheeks as tough as sole of show like dirty whited wall, Her lips they were of azure blew but Neck faith none at all. 6. Her Head and Shoulders so well met so lovingly agreed, They would have nothing part them yet nor never will indeed. 7. Her Breasts so tempting and so fair like two old foot-balls look. Which you m●g●t see through smock so rare and black as the pot-hook. 8. Her Waste was slender, but her Bum rises so high you'd say, Each Buttuck seemed a Kettle drum stuffed with a Truss of Hay. 9. I tell thee too, if not too late she has such a thundering voice. Would make the deaf man thank his fate that frees him from her noise. 10. But shall I speak( truth on my soul) a word unto her mouth, Well stretched it goes from Pole to Pole and so from North to South. 11. But for those parts which are unseen I cannot well express, 'Twould fright the Devil himself, I ween to see her naktdness. 11. Then for her feet( as I am loathe to tell all like a sloven) Upon a Book i'l take my oath and swear, they both are Cloven. By this you may partly guess her outward splendour and comeliness, being in her time the wonder of the age, as well for her outward lineaments as those inward and choice endowments of her understanding and knowledge. She was also a woman of a very free disposition, for having picked up a little money to be merry with at Christmas, she very lovingly invites half a dozen of her nei●hbors to partake of it. Good old women they were that loved the sinews of a good leg of Beef well boiled, Mince-pye, and Plumb-pottage, and such tender food as would down without chewing, for alas! one knavish bone might have shewed them a trick for all their Teeth. Being all met together and set to it, they plied their business without much muttering, till at length they began to sigh, not for heaviness of heart but fullness of belly, nor for sorrow for sins, but because they could eat no more. Poor Souls! I pitied them. But Mother Shipton b●ing very pleasant, was resolved they should not long continue in their dumps, for she was fully set upon a merry device to make her guest ●olt down their dinner. After this manner. She by her Art( as she had very good skill in Witchery) composed a Powder which would make all that took it dance such a Jig, as was never seen before in Yook-shire It had also a most powerful charm in it to make one fart, and that with such report and sound, as all the Town should be admirers of its operation. This Powder she infused into a Pitcher of good York-shire stin-goe, which the old women caronzed at no aim, and tippled their Noses most plenteously, till at length the potion began to work, and one unawares let go such a Hummer, as set all the rest a twittering, that presently all of them in like manner began to discharge with such resolution as if they had been about battering a fort. Mother Shipton seeing the efficacy of her Powder began to be very pleasant, & told them they played their Cards well sure by reason of their trumping about so roundly. Still they held on till one of them, what with overstraining her self to exceed her fellows, and excess of laughter gave such a crack as made all the neighbourhood ring again, and therewith so bespatterd her linning, as made her cry out O fie! I have played the Beast, 'twas never so with me before. And to say truth she was but in a shitten condition. Her good neighbors pitied, but could not spare time to cleanse her bung, they were so employed And now the wind began to be so much in their faces, they hearty wished themselves in the midst of the could frosty fields, so they might but have the opportunity of taking the fresh air. Which Mother Shipton perceiving, and having a long time had an intention to do them some discredit, by reason of some falling out between her and them concerning a washing Tub, they had borrowed of her and an old Broom, was resolved now to quit scores with them and therefore opening the door, and willing them to walk into the fresh air, she by her art caused them to think they were really up to the Bellies in water, and thereupon they striving to save their best holiday clothes pulled them up as high as they could, and shewed all for nothing to all the Town as they went homeward, which made such laughter to all that beholded them, that they followed them shouting and throwing rotten Eggs and apple at their arses all the way they went. When they were came home they were presently wakened out of their dream, for their husbands enraged at the disgrace their wives had brought upon them, well favour'dly be laboured their Nocks and quickly cured them of their windy distempers▪ to their much sorrow and discredit. Another. One time Mother Shipton meeting a young Gallant riding along the Road, she begged Alms of him, who at first denying her, she began to importune him much, with that he gave her something, and being merrily disposed let a fart. Shipton replied bless you sir do you sneeze backward, I see 'tis an ill wind that blows no body good. Another. Another time she meeting with an old rich usurer with a bag of money under his Arm, she beg●d a penny of him, who told her she looked to like a witch. At which Shipton being much displeased, was resolved to serve him a trick for his jeer. And one day watching him as he was looking out at his Chamber window into the Market, she by her cunning caused an artificial pair of horns to be grafted on his forehead, so that he could not draw his head in again, which put him into such a rage, that he began to cry out, at which all the people began to gather about to deride him in such sort that the old usurer was almost out of his wits and at length seeing no remedy he was resolved to have the horns sawed of, which were no sooner touched with the saw, but they fell off, and were taken by the multitude and fastened to the Town across, with this superscription. Old Cluth the usurers Horns these be set up in honor of his name, 'Tis fit his horns exalted be to his never dying famed. Another. A Lawyer that came to the Assizes having somewhat affronted Shipton one day at the Bar▪ put some snuff to his Nose, and presently he fell fast a sleep, and when it came to his turn to move, his client jog'd him. The Lawyer on che sudden waking wraps out a great oath, and swore diamond was Trump, which put the court into a great laughter and the Lawyer perceiving his disgrace went presently out of the court with much shane and confusion. Another. On a great holiday when their was a great Feast at one of the City Halls. The Lord Mayor and all his Aldermen were assembled, intending to feast hearty and be very merry, and accordingly they sate themselves in Order, and the first course was brought to the Table. Many delicates there were and much variety of all sorts. But Mother Shipton hearing of this hastens to the Hall resolving one way or other to participate of their cheer, but getting in and seeing them ready to fall too't, begs at one Aldermans elboe and t'ther, but none of them minded her so that she was half mad to see so much good fare stand on the Table ready to be devoured, and she like to have no sha●e thereof at last run'd into the middle of the Hall, and squotting down, screekt out aloud, whereat a whole legion of devils instantly rose among them with terribie thunder and lightning, who seized on every dish of meat and walking orderly out of the hall with Shipton before, at the gate all vanished leaving these verses thereupon. Our Mayor and Aldermen Were gathered in this Hall To have a feast Worth somewhat at least But I should ma●trick for't all. Poor Shipton begged amain But they poor Ship●on sc●f● Alas their cheer Cost them full dear ●ut faith they had little oft. The●e and the like pranks she played in the twelve merry days of Christmas, but all the year after so● hutch'd at home like a Witch in a Cell, fit for no company but a hum drum Devil of her own hatching. Here followeth a Dialogue. Between Roast Beef, Mince-pie, and Plumb-pottage. contending for superiority with the verdict of Strong beer, the in moderator th●re●pon. Strong B. Now Gentlemen this is the time, and this the place you have appointed for your disputation: and having chosen me for your Moderator▪ I advice you( and good counsel too I hold it) to do nothing rashly, but first lets drink▪ All. We relish it▪ They drink. Strong B. And now having liquored your lips, pipe on and spare not. Plumb pot. Why then Mr. Beer craving your good attention, I declare and hope to prove it is my property to preceded, Mr. Mince-pie and R●ast beef, and ought in any sound opinion to be the first dish on the Table, and my p●ea for it is, ancient custom, which I hope may suffice without any further reasons. Mince-pie. Pish, never tell me of your Reasons: your Reasons are not in Date, and therefore, stark nought, and as for custom, I say 'tis more Customary to prefer pie before Pottage, ergo your custom is not worth a Cucumber. Roast B. Nay then Gantlemen room for Horns▪ though I have been silent all this while, don't you think to rule the Roast Mr. Beer, consider I am Beef, a good substantial food: a dish for a Prince, and indeed( as 'tis Recorded) the King of meats▪ Plumb-P. Gravely spoken. Strong B. In truth so it is, and I think it fit to exalt the Horn. R. B. And not without cause considering the Dignity his Royal Majesty King James was pleased to confer on me, when one day coming down into his kitchen, I gave him such satisfaction that he daign'd me with the Honour of Knighthood, with the title of Sir loin, and therefore claim precedency before these mincing mimics. P. P▪ But pray Beef, was you ever in this ●ovial time of Christma● preferred before me. Mince P. O● ever gave that pleasing satisfaction or delight to Ladies, or any sort of Persons as I have done. R. B. Mr. sweet tooth hold you your prating I always had the upper hand of you. M. P. Tell not me of upper hand nor underhand I say I am a dish full of dainty .. Roast B. Yes for old women that have no teeth: besides you come but once a year, but I am in season at all times▪ You but please Children and Fools, but I am in repute with all sorts of what quality soever. Plumb P. Pray Gentlemen let me speak. Roast B. prithee what canst say? nothing: but mutter as if you had plums in your mouth, why thou art nothing of thy se●f, whence art thou derived or what's thy pedigree? nothing but a little water, and fitting for nothing but to cleanse the dishes after me, were it not for the goodness of Beef that gives the being by its savour Strong B. Mince pie, me thinks thou shouldst bear up man, 'slid for all their talking thou makest their teeth water sometimes at thee. Roast B. And we are much obleig'd to him for it, for making our teeth rotten. Mince P. You are a stinking piece of Beef to abuse me so, I make you rotten? Roast B. Yes sweet Sir, that you do, Mince P. Tough Sir but I do not. Strong B. Nay lets have no quarreling good Mr. Beef, pray Mr. pie. Roast B. 'Slid tempt me a little more, I shall fall foul on you. Mince P. If you do, I'm sure you, you'l show foul play and bite me, but il● maintain my honour in spite of thy teeth. Roast B. Le● me come at him i'le crumble him i'le warrant you Strong B. Nay good Beef be not so hot, Let him alone a little till he is colder, then you may fasten on him at more advantage. Mince P. I shall pull down his fat sides no doubt. Strong B. Come Gentlemen I'm sor●y to see you at variance, pray let me moderate the business between you, why should friends fall out? Come what say ye will you all stand to my award. All. With all our hearts? Eloquent Strong Beer! Strong B. Then first for you Mr. Plumb Pottage: Since it hath been so long a custom for you to be first ushered to the Table, we shall continue it still to you during the time of Christmas, so that you do not take it ill, that some at other times make use of you last of all, as is sometime necessary to fill up the ●hinks. And for you Mr. Mince-pye, for the time of Christmas also are to be the signior in all mens mouths, but ever after to disappear and vanish. As the Prince at Lincolns Inn was dominus factotum for twelve days but afterwards shrunk into his former peasantry for ever after. So must you yield the pre-eminence to Mr. Roast Beef, as royal for all the year after. What say ye, are ye all satisfied! All. O very well, very well: Rhetorical Strong Beer! Strong B. Come on then, then lets end all differences in a cup of Strong Bub, and spend the time in singing and carouzing a health to all that love Plumb-Pottage, Mince pie, Roast-Beef and Strong Beer. The Song. 1. Of lusty brown Beer I joy for to hear But a pox of your White-wine and Claret I hate for to hear Of such pitiful gear For a barrel-ful's not worth a carrot. 2. Then bub with good courage 'Tis seasoned wi●h borage theirs nothing more wholesome and merry Though our clothes be but thin It warms us within And makes us sing hey down a derry. 3. There's nothing above it He's a fool does not love it, At Christmas it maketh good cheer, Nay more to invite you And still to delight you Tis as plentiful all the whol● year. FINIS.