THE SPEECH OF A cavalier TO HIS COMRADES, In answer to the Wardens SPEECH.  
Written By Agamemnon Shaglock Van Dammee, clerk of the Regiment.  
LONDON, Printed Anno. Domini 1642.   

The Speech of a cavalier to his Comrades: In Answer to the Wardens Speech.  
BRothers and Commanders of this never too civil society, Before I give fire to those Squibs and Crackers I am to discharge, my courtesy thinks it fit to present the compliment of your poor servant, for your general choice of me to shake my locks before you this day for the honour I confess, of the Cavaleiry; which I doubt not (by that unaccustomed quality amongst you called patience, and upon condition you will not outswagger me) but to finish as well as the maddest roarer here present. And for testimony of my acknowledgement of your favours, and as a preparation to the work in hand here is a health of three glasses, when that is gone round I will proceed you ●ut the business itself in as new-coyned asseverations as my vapouring Genius can perform.  
You are now to conceive in what time and upon what occasion this discourse is grounded. The time is now, just now that I have received my pay, newly repaired my threadbare outside, and once more do enjoy that miraculous blessing of clean linen, before my feather and scarf be ruffled, or the dew of Heaven hath fallen upon them, my pockets furnished, my brain inspired with raptures and enthusiasms insinuated by the corroborative virtue of this excellent and never too much admired Cavary. The occasion, since high treason and hanging matters are become but market-talk▪ only but a game at shuttlecock, wherein the bold world dare toss betwixt King and State every idle fear, and frivolous suggestion which fancy or imagination doth prompt and frame, in their half lost wits, and this kind of desperate communication grown more customary than the French tongue or fashion. Why should not we as well as all the world besides take some liberty to prate of great matters to little purpose. And therefore as these two glasses more shall enable me, I will go forward with such matters as the heat of my blood and the vertigo in my brain shall drop into my language.  
My Antagonist the Warden begins his Cinquepace with the Liturgy of the Church, wherein his Scotch Bagpipe whines you out his Aptipathys thereunto in such abominable out of tune chords that the unparalleled harmony rather begets ridiculous mirth than any solitude or soul-sympathizing pleasure. Now touching this subject, I must ingeniously confess (Gentlemen) but pardon me for it, that the time hath been I have seen the inside of a Church, although not often nor lately, and there although the Organ did exceed the noise of the voices, whereby not a plain syllable more than O and yaw, he and aise, could be distinguished, yet I verily believe the Vicars and song-men do mean well by their ejaculations and gaping upwards and shakeing their graybeards. And although the Organist do as a Praeludium to the anthem play sellingers-round, yet I must tell you that it is done with so much division both on the treble and base keys, that nobody but himself can tell what to make of it, unless he tell it to a friend as once he did, which friend began immediately to dance, and being asked by a Vicar what he meant (quoth he) to serve God as he was never served in his life, but let that pass. I have seen books with good plate covers, guilt Candlesticks, Plush Carpets, &c. and so far am I from thinking any hurt of all this, that I must acknowledge I have many times wished this kind of Liurgy in mine own chamber, that I might have made much of it, and used it more frequently than I did. Now for form or essence of worship, I know (Gentlemen) you will easily give me credit, and not stand upon that needless trouble of proof, that I have been no extraordinary student therein, nor much addicted to the discourses thereunto pertaining, whereby I cannot but hope you will pardon me if I do not give you satisfaction in it. But concerning the wardens church which is a conventicle, you may please to understand, that before I was in service, in regard I owed some money in town, I took occasion to walk without my Periwig or my Sword, which I left with my then Landlord for his service, thereby to obscure myself from my Tobacco-Grocer, my Aledraper, and my Thimble-merchant, and others into whose book I had (by many faithful persuasions and honest protestations) damned myself in a matter of four Nobles. And having likewise at that time by a woeful mischance gotten an imperfection in my nose, whereby I could not choose but speak the right tone, I was by this means generally taken for a Round-head, and being on a time invited to the duties I went along with the party, who conducted me into a chamber one pair of stairs & a half below stairs, which presented itself a Cellar, and a kitchen, where there were a matter of twenty persons of both sexes. The men saluted me with welcome dear brother, I wish you had brought along with you a yoke-fellow that might be edified: The women told me they should be glad to discover unto me the path wherein I was to tread, and so presented me with a cup of Muscadine and eggs, and thus ended the salutation, for being all very hungry the Bibles were presently said under the Dresser, and the meat brought to the table, and thus far, ne'er a man breathing could complain of their Liturgy; marry after dinner which was finished in less than four hourres, they fell to (I cannot call it singing, but) howling the 119. Psalm, the sudden squeaking whereof frighted me out of the house, and hath made me look thus ●●…dly ever since. Now for these reasons▪ I see no hurt in the Liturgy, and therefore as I love it, so deep will I drink to the full confirmation and continuation thereof.  
The next thing which his wardenships' wisdom flies upon as eagerly as a hawk, or a Pussatd seizes a Paitridge or carrion, is the Militia, of which kind of Militia I will not speak one word, it was so well done, (if not over done by the Warden himself) but I will dilate upon our own Militia, that of us the Cavaliers, and Gentlemen of this present society, In which you must understand, I mean not the Cavaliers that belaboured themselves so bravely at Westminster, nor they that now attend at Yorks, for such as they are a thought too great to be jested withal, and are or may be our paymaisters: no, I mean us the new made Gentlemen of the times, us that have won our arms by feats of Crivalry done in the North of England, where we did nothing at all, and I say what though we cannot prove the descent from our ancestors. 'tis no matter, the greater glory hangs upon our Swords, and the world shall study new haroldry purposely to enable us with the arms of the Gentry. Thou Tom Trimwell wast Sir John Sucklins' tailor, in making the doublets didst reduce as much shavings as made thyself a suit, so because a trooper and art now a Cavalier. Thou Master Fawn wast thy captain's man got his cast clothes, and are now a formal Cavalier, hast the garb, the oaths, the vapours, and all things in a tavern pertaining to the function, I myself was a Gentleman before indeed, for I was gentleman usher to the Lady at Ch●●ing-Crosse that hath vowed never to sin with any but soldiers and hath been famous with so many of them, by her Commendations I was made a corporal, and am therefore an absolute Cavalier: And now Gentlemen that we may perfectly attribute the title to ourselves, If there be any amongst us that bears the name of any great Family in the kingdom, let him pretend himself of the same house, and blood, 'twill carry it amongst those that cannot contradict it, Or besides by the adding, diminishing, or exchanging a letter or syllable of your own names into other men's it is easily done: And therefore he whose name is, Person may call himself Percy, Barton may change to Bar●●●, Cliff. to Cliford, or Clifion, and then again let the want of means be supplied with excess of swaggering, and domincering, a kind of testy pragmatical bearing, and scorning to answer any man that question's your birth, all easy ways to preserve yourselves under the title of Cavaliers, which very bare title is enough to make you of that Militia, which service we hope will not be much more difficult than that Militia the Warden mentions, so long as one Array continues at York, and th' other at London, and howsoever well their protectors do agree, yet I hope their Armies may never come nearer than they are, and that partly for the commonwealth's sake, and partly for our own sakes, for truly these meeting services are not half so comfortable as those six, or seven score miles distance, And to be a warrior, a Cavalier a Scldate, and lie in a featherbed, eat and drink like Epicures, not to be lowly, why it almost as easy a perfection as to be a Round head, although the Round-head be far unfit to be a Cavalier, for surely the steel Helmet would chafe his ears to pieces, there being no hair to defend them. Besides the noise of the Guns would run like an axle through his ears, and turn his head round about it, for you know he's giddy already; No, no we are the men that must charge at distance, and stand for the good of that party that will pay best, and doubt not to defend them boldly against to resistance, But I will end this argument lest my cockbraines should hurry me into such circumstances, as would bring me into question without redemption.  
The third discourse his grave frenzy throws him on is the extirpation of the Papists that giving Religion▪ that levys their great Legacies in the hands of the Priests to be distributed to charitable uses, and make their children beggars for their better inortification, if they but dare to 〈◊〉, let us alone with them now their arms are taken away, Mary if the Protestant Jesuit were but as well tamed as they are there would be no use for us in England, we might even trudge as Volunteers to the other kingdom, where we should hardly find so good entertainment; and yet we should make pretty work with them, if they were but disarmed as the papists here are. And Gentlemen, when the seditions are appeased let us expect no other employment. But this Discourse tends to my next argument, therefore I will touch it but sparingly, only six glasses to their destruction before we come that we may have the easier service; if we be called, I pray you pledge it, that it may be known we can wish them mischief thus far off, and that at a nearer we might be 〈◊〉 on to do something too upon any reasonable odds in arms and ammunition.  
Then my adversary proceeds to beat out the quintessence of his noddle, Would that employment of beating out had been mine, I would have done it to some purpose. But that is of the Irish expedition, in which I will say nothing of the benefit thereof, more than appertains to ourselves, which consists of these conveniences, naked arms appearing out of Shamy doublets like Pedlars or Glasse-carriers with half breeces, footlesse stockings, and over them drawn a pair of Leather-buskins, which in former days had been boots of a decent wearing, and near to the primitive nakedness. For diet, think not scorn of mouldy biscuit, and a fat colt boiled in his own skin, if you can catch it: for want of diet that precious vapour of Virginia in a leaguer pipe is a singular prevention to stop the yawning of the hungry stomach; and grudge not now and then 〈◊〉 be magnificently starved to death for want of these commodities too; and the sports and recreations that belong to this employment of standing centinel four long hours in a frosty night, or lying per deiu in a trench of cold water, which is a sovereign provocative to that comfortable malady called the belly-ache, and yet there may be better accommodations if the Adventurers will but bring in their money fast enough; but in case they do not the aforesaid solaces and preferments are like enough to ensue. Now Gentleman, you know we are the men must actually and personally hazard ourselves in these affairs, whereas that cowardly slave the Roundhead, if he were called to the employment, would be hanged here for disobedience to his Colours, rather than stir a foot towards it; and yet at home dares preach against us, yea and pray too till his eyes be almost started out of his head with praying for our confusion, tha● must defend him to live at ease snarling like a dog in a manger, and will neither do good himself, nor permit others to do it, he vexes me to the heart, but I w●l drowned sorrow in this bear-boule of sack, and so end this business.  
Lastly, he proceeds to his period, his pudding prick, his nil ultra coxombry, his fears and jealousies; for our part Gentlemen, we are now armed cap a pae with a good grape Armour, and is this a time for us to fear? No, I fear not the devil himself in any shape whatsoever. I could now outstare a Basilisk, poison a crocodile with one puff of my smoke-reeked nostrils, I durst do any thing that ever any man or men combined to any other creature ever attempted, O for an Army of such as we now are ready pitched, to assault all the Rebels in Ireland joined before us, S. Patrick himself, were his legend true, should find, that mortal creatures inspired with immortal sack, were able to vanquish an Army of such as himself. nay, since I am now like to be in the Array of one side or other, let me tell you, I fear not a Roundhead, which of all shapes else I am the most afraid on, if afraid I could be. But Gentlemen, I have dilated so long, that I can hold open my eyes no longer. I will therefore comply with the Warden in one particular, and fall asleep, And that without a quarrel first had too, which is no ordinary miracle.  
FINIS.