STRANGE NEWS FROM Bartholomew-Fair, OR, THE Wandring-Whore DISCOVERED, Her Cabinet unlocked, her Secrets laid open, vnvailed, and spread abroad in Whore and Bacon-lane, Duck-stret, and the Garrison of Pie-corner. With the exact manner of conveying St. James' Bawbyes to St. Bartholmews-Fair, for the use of all the Noble Hector's▪ Trappans, Pimps, Dicks merry Cullies and mad-conceited Lads of Great-Bedlam. Also the mad-slights, merry-conceits tricks, whimsies and quillets used by the Wandring-Whore, her Bawds, Mobs, Panders, Pads and Trulls for the drawing in of young Hector's, with the manner of her Traffic by Morter-pieces, and new invented Engines never discovered before. By PETER ARETINE. LONDON, Printed for Theodorus Mi 〈…〉, 166●. A CONFERENCE BETWIXT The Wandring-whore, Bonny Bess of Whore and Bacon Lane, merry Moll of Duck street, and pretty Peg of Py-corner. Bonny Bet. WHat News now Merry Moll? Is trading quick or dead? Moll. As dead as a door Nail, but whether away so fast Bet? Bettee. To seek for employment that I may be able to hold out a Winter's siege. Moll. What is thy design, or how do you intent to go on with the work. Bet. I am just now going to see the dancing on the ropes; for except I can draw out a Dick or two from thence, to view my rare agility of Body on the ground, with bending backward and forward, heaving, thrusting and other Recreation, I shall have little profit this Fair; yet I know our tumbling exceeds their recreation as far as Gold doth the evacuation of a young Gentlewoman's back Salliport; but how trad'st thou Pegg? Peg. Marry, I meet with merry Hector's, and trade with none but such as come on nobly▪ fall on neatly▪ and retreat gallantly; they give me Py-cornor Law and Py-corner pay, and I am contented to the life. Moll. Well then, thou hast the quintessence of happiness, we enjoy no pleasure like thine, no nor profit neither; for though we get by our Canns, we lose by Informers and such like varlets that steal away our profit, so that I am destitute of any thing but the P— and the praise, a common benefit to all the Female sex; but I want the half-Crowns, through neglect of a Chuck-Office. Bet. Would I had thought of that before, I might then have borrowed Jack-a-Newberrys six Windmills, they being hung out at my door would have brought custom enough, but now I must lose a Hog for a half-penny-worth of Tar, for custom is so dull, there's nothing to be got but by impudence, which I am well furnished with, but dare not be too public, lest like our dear sister Tory Rory, I be forced to beat out my living at the Hemp-block, or be transported as some of my brethren were yesterday. Yet hang sorrow, fear no colours, for they that want impudence, may be supplied here with Kettles, Pans, Ladles, Skillets or Skimers, to rub their Faces on, whereby they may be as well brassed as any Morter-piece that was in St. James' Fair; therefore let's venture a hazard, all are not taken that use our profession; but stay who comes here, the Wandring-whore? I think 'tis she, if not, my eyes grow dull, 'tis she faith, see how she spreads her sails, View but the Motto on her standard Moll, two rampant VVH— are turning up their Tails. Wand. Wh— The very same in sooth, for I have wandered too and fro through the Fair, picked up many a Dick and gulled many a Cully of his Nab, tipped his bung, and sent his Callee to Egypt, but this is nothing to the high Trade I drive at home, when they come there, I spread my Colours, and receive the Spanish Rogue into my French quarters, where he turned the Pig so long till one of his best members was lost in the dripping-pan, yet the Jack-weights are secure and hang fast still, but this whelp of Scoggin complains of a loss I never was, or at least will be sensible of, which was by a pinch in the Pocket, but that I own not his which I myself have in possession. For when the Coal is gone, the simple Elf Is not the owner of it, but myself. Bet. But Sister, how drive you this Trade, to insert another's account so neatly in the Almanac of your Pocket? Wand. Wh— By two long fingers made for that purpose, to dive into the Pockets of such Gulls, who after the receipt of two or three Cups, forget the strength of their own Estates. Moll. That's a pure strain, But how do you begin, or what means use you forr the enticing young Hector's into your Garrison? Wand. W— To entice young punies. I lie as open as Noonday, sit down at the door, set one foot to the right, the other to the left, as far distant as I can spread my imperfect Limbs, and cry Lads: her's a can of the best liquor in the fair, clapping my hand on my marketplace, and saying, here's your Ware boys, which invitation with a wink, a smile and a chuck under the Chin, brings in the bonny Lads as easily as a hungry foul eats dry bread. Peg. And I for my part cry, here boys, here's the best Pigs head in the Fair, a rare quarter of Lamb, pure Mutton, and the best buttock beef in England; but how comes in your profit when they are in your Garrison? Wandring-W— I spread my shrouds, unveil my Cabinet▪ disclose my secrets, and open the pure Linen Curtains that hang before my chief Fortress, drink a Cann or two, smoke, sing old Rose, dance, and when the Gull is elevated, I Hull him asleep as Delilah did Samson, and then turn Philistine, tip his Bung, and deprive him of the strength of his Estate, so he rises when he awakes as poor as Job, thinking he hath been in Heaven when indeed newly crept out of the Devil's Vestry. marching off like a senseless piece of iniquity, not thinking of his loss till he comes into the Fair, to lay out his money in Baubles for his sweet-beart, it may be in Gloves, Ribbons, Rings, Beads, Bracelets or other such like Fancies, yet coming to pay, diving in his Pocket for Coal, he finds all as clear as a room new swept; thus by my free entertainment, I free him from the sin of covetousness. Mol. And I in good sooth am as Common and free to my Customers, as a Cream-pot to a Dary maid, and that brings them in as fast as water runs through a scieve. They come in with their fowl Pipes, and I like an able Doctress cleanse them with a P— I clear the stem and also burn the bowl Till it's as white as Pot-hooks or Charcoal. Peg. I but tell me, what dost thou do with a company of Varlets called Permoters, for I am more plagued with them then any other vermin whatever? Mol. Marry Peg, in our Duck quarters, if they once appear, we know the Knaves so well, that we put them in an upper room, then borrow a quart pot, and fill that frothing full to blind them, whilestwe pinch the Cans of our Gulls to secure our own profit. For though by them our getting is but small The noble Hector's sure to pay for all. Mol. Come you are an old wand'ring Who— know all Postures, and turn up your tail to all sorts of Culls, what do you for a contented Coxcomb to keep the door, whilst you do excercise with your Hectors, by the Turks entering the Castle of Comfort? Wand. -Wh— I tell the Moll, though my husband be a mere Mopus to a man of mettle, yet my Gusmond is a man able to defend me, and a pure Rogue that I dare trust with the Cabinet of Venus, with the Key to unlock it, and indeed with all my secreets; he'll Pimp purely for half a Crown a day besides his Vails, I and Trapan young Gallants too, whereby my Trade daily increases, Customers come in nimbly, and go out as merrily as thiefs to Tyburn. So to the world my Hector young appears, when he comes out with nought but hanging Ears. Bess. I'll tell thee Peg I thrive as well as any of them all, for a young Bump coming late to Bacon-Lane, full of Coal, my pretty Mob Nell with the wink of an eye drew him in to my Garrison, we two so smoked him, after a collation of bread and Bacon, that by drinking, sporting-and-kissing the fool lost his purse, but how he knew not; for the reckoning being suddenly brought in, his Quids were vanished, his pocket saying No point Larshon, the pennyless puppy, supposing his Bung had been tipped in the Fair before he came in, was forced to leave his Callee for the reckoning; this Tuskin being a zealot was loath to tumult lest he should be discovered: therefore he durst not outface us, whose impudence might well have startled a more able Hectors. Yet when the Bump was marched off; we sustained by his loss 5 pound advantage towards our house-rent, a few such Jobs at Lady-fair will find Puppy-dog-water for the refreshing our beauties till next Fair: besides silk-Gowns smock-petty-Coats and White-Aprons. Thus did this Gull for fear our secreets smother Lest he should counted be a sinful Brother. We gave him leave to drink, to sport and play, Whilst we his Purse and Coal conveyed away. Peg. Sister Bet let's away, break off our discourse and betake ourselves to our heels, for here comes two pitiful fellows called Beadles, therefore our best way is to secure our own quarters. Bettee. Come be of good cheer, but'let's not make more haste then good speed, go fare and softly, least jealousy cause suspicion, and they seize on us before our time, for these Bloodhounds will soon fcent enough by our discourse to put a stop to our further trading. For if our secrets should discovered be We know the worst, a whipping sets us free. FINIS.