To the King's Most Excellent Majesty, The Humble Address of the Atheists, or the Sect of the Epicureans.  
GREAT SIR,  
SINCE Men of all Factions and Misperswasions of Religion have presented their Thanks for your Majesty's gracious Declaration of Liberty of Conscience, we think ourselves obliged as Gentlemen to bring up the Rear, and become Addressers too. We are sure there is no Party of Men more improved and advanced by your Indulgence, both as to Principles and Proselytes of England. And our Cabals are as full as your Royal Chapel, for your unlimited Toleration has freed the Nation from the troublesome Bygottries of Religion, and has taught Men to conclude, That there is nothing Sacred or Divine but Trade and Empire, and nothing of such eternal Moment as secular Interest. Your Majesty's Universal Indulgence hath introduced such unanswerable Objections and happy Inferences towards' all Religion, that many have given over the troublesome Enquiry after Truth, and set down that easy Inference, That all Religion is a Cheat. In particular, we can never sufficiently Congratulate and Admire that generous Passage in your Majesty's gracious Declaration, wherein you have Freed your People from the solemn Superstition of Oaths, and especially from those slavish Ceremonious ones of Supremacy and Allegiance; and are pleased to declare, That you expect no more from your People, than what they are obliged to by the Ancient Law of Nature; and so have bravely given them leave to preserve and defend themselves, according to the First Chapter of Nature's Magna Charta. Your Majesty was pleased to wish, That all your Subjects were of your own Religion, and perhaps every Division wishes you were of theirs. But, for our parts, we freely declare, That if ever we should be obliged to profess any Religion, we would prefer the Church of Rome, which does not much trouble the World with the Affairs of invisible Being's, and is very Civil and Indulgent to the Failings of humane Nature. That Church can ease us from the grave Fatigues of Religion, and, for our Moneys, allow us Proxies, both for Piety and Penances: We can easily swallow and digest a Wafer Deity, and will never cavil at the Mass in an unknown Tongue, when the Sacrifice itself is so unintelligible. We shall never scruple the Adoration of an Image, when the chiefest Religion is but Imagination: And we are willing to allow the Pops an absolute Power to dispense with all penal Laws, in this World and in another. But before we return to Rome, the greatest Origin of Atheism, we wish the Pope and all his Vassal Princes would free the World from the fear of Hell and Devils, the Inquisition and Dragoons, and that he would take of the Chimney-Money of Purgatory, and Custom and Excise of Pardons and Indulgences, which are so much inconsistent with the flourishing Trade and Grandeur of the Nation. As for the Engagements of Lives and Fortunes, the common Compliment of Addressers, we confess we have a more peculiar Tenderness for those most sacred Concernments, but yet we will hazard them in defence of your Majesty, with as much Constancy and Resolution, as your Majesty will defend your Indulgence; that is, so far as the Adventure will serve our Designs and Interest.  
From the Devil-Tavern, the Fifth of November, 1688. Presented by Justice Baldock, and was graciously received.