Apologia Chyrurgica.  
A VINDICATION Of the Noble Art of Chirurgery, FROM The gross Abuses offered thereunto by Mountebanks, Quacks, Barbers, Pretending Bone-setters, with other Ignorant Undertakers.  
WHEREIN Their Fraudulent Practices are plainly detected by several remarkable Observations, their Fair Promises proved Fictions, their Administrations pernicious, their Confident Pretences injurious and destructive to the Welfare of the People.  
By DANIEL TURNER, Practitioner in Chirurgery.  K 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. 
IMPRIMATUR.  
Datum in Comitiis Censoriis ex Aedibus Collegii nostri, Jan. 11. 1694. 

John Lawson, President.  


Samuel Collins,  
Richard Torles,  
Edward Tyson,  
Martin Lister,  
Censores.      
LONDON Printed, and are to be Sold by J. Whitlock near Stationers-hall, and the Booksellers of London and Westminster. 1695.   

TO THE Most Ingenious and Truly Learned Dr. EDWARD TYSON, One of the present Censors of the College of Physicians, Fellow of the Royal Society, and Physician to the Hospital of Bethlehem.  
SIR,  
'TIS the common Fate of Learned Men, that they are more than ordinarily exposed to the importunity of such as are in want of their assistance; and tho' it be Presumption in their Petitioners, 'tis in them however a generous Condescension, that they incline to gratify the Requests of their needy Supplicants.  
I am ready to acknowledge myself little short of the same Arrogance, in that I am become troublesome so soon as honoured with your acquaintance.  
The Great and Eminent seem indeed to be placed in a sublimer Sphere, not so much that they might pity the Ignorant as to protect the Indigent.  
Being conscious of my own insufficiency to withstand the Test of Critical Censure, it was reasonable I should endeavour to find a Patron that might (in some measure) secure me from the Obloquy of my Adversaries.  
When I had considered upon whose friendship I might most happily rely, it was the effect of my Ambition to single out Yourself, for one of the greatest and most learned amongst others, whom I had thought on: to make which choice (Sir) I was the rather encouraged, since you had so lately obliged me with a very kind acceptance of some lose Papers I had by me, which upon your communicating were by the Royal Society esteemed not unworthy, to be printed with their Philosophical Transactions. After the experience of so much Civility on a first or second conference, I had the less reason to dispute your Goodness upon the occasion I have had of a farther correspondence.  
The ensuing Discourse, which I am endeavouring to shelter under the Umbrage of your Favour, was compiled about four years since, in which time it was mostly in the custody of some particular Friends, who were not a little earnest with me for its publication; tho' on other accounts I might have relied upon their Judgements, yet with this I could not so readily comply, because as I had never appeared in Print, I was the less capable to imagine the Difficulties and Disadvantages I had to encounter: I did already foresee some, which put me upon thinking, and was afraid to meet with others that should (when past recovery) be attended with Repentance.  
'Tis true, I valued not the Resentments of malicious and deceitful Men, since I doubted not but the more honest and judicious would espouse my Cause: But when I reflected on the extreme Nicety of the Town, many wherein are fonder to expose what they call Wit, by their Comments upon an Author's Language, prying for Erratas, and searching out his Lapses, rather than regarding the Usefu●ness of the Subject, or heeding whether it answers the End for which 'twas enterprised. Of these men I had reason to be fearful, especially perceiving that more learned Discourses were frequently attended with an apologetic Entrance that might obviate their Censure.  
Amongst other worthy Authors, I could do no less than take notice of the almost too great Modesty of the late incomparable Mr. boil, who when he had written never so elaborately upon what he undertook, is notwithstanding excusing himself, as if guilty of some Blemish or Imperfection. It should seem by this his singular Humility he was as worthy of, as he could be willing to procure a general Esteem and Admiration: And yet, according to the conclusion of a Panegyric on the Curious De Graaf,  
Quis Jove, major erat, magno quis major Homero,  
Ille tamen Momum: Zoilon Alter habet.  
However, if so great and famous Men have every where thought it Prudence to arm themselves against the Zoilists of the Age, what abundant cause had I to remain silent, and keep out of their reach?  
A farther motive to induce me for some time to retard the impression, was, That as I hoped there would not be wanting those, who would judge aright of my Undertaking, so I as little questioned to find others ready enough to think me more desirous to be reputed an Author, than by being so to serve the Public Interest.  
These (Sir) were the more material Impediments to my Consent, till on the other hand I bethought myself how serviceable such a Discovery as this might be at a time that seemed extraordinarily to require it; and finding those who were perhaps better capacitated wholly negligent therein, I was the rather prevailed with to lend my mean assistance towards the redressing so universally-prejudicial an Aggrievance; so that in whatever I have exposed my own Weakness, I shall think myself enough fortunate if the same be imputed to my Zeal for the General Good, by using my utmost diligence to suppress all base Pretenders to our most Noble Art, and vindicating the same from their Ignominy and Reproach.  
I have no reason to doubt but yourself, at some times, in the variety of your Practice, have remarked how easily many reputable People have been imposed on by a Pretence to Physic, and how fatally deluded with a Promise of Recovery; from whence, if I mistake not, there will be little room for a Surmise, whether a Discourse of this tendency may be advantageous. However I may happen to be aspersed, or whatever may be thought of the Discourse itself, I fear not to be discommended for my choice of so fit a Person, by the benefit of whose countenance both may be defended from the too rigid Censure of those who will still be condemning all but their own Offspring, if it be but to show the Parts which a more refined Education hath conferred upon them above the rest of Mankind.  
I have here a fair opportunity (since I can say little for myself) to make a modish Harangue upon your Accomplishments; but rather than trespass on your Modesty, I shall omit to say any thing of that nature.  
I am, I must confess, very much of opinion with the Noble Mackenzy, (in an Epistle to Esquire boil) with respect to Dedications, and do believe an Author much more concerned to procure for his Patron him who hath conspicuously rendered himself truly worthy, than one so made by Flattery or Adulation.  
Were I minded to speak to so large a Theme as your Merit would afford, I might say much, I'm certain, before the greatest of your Opponents would accuse me as a Sycophant. To prevent Reflection, I shall only take the liberty to give the World my Wish, That we had been longer happy in your access to, or possession of our Anatomical Chair. And, that your indefatigable Industry therein may be imitated by your Successors, is the Desire of  
SIR, Your much Obliged Servant, D. T.   

TO THE READER.  
THE Custom of Apologizing is grown so fashionable, and become so very common, that we meet with it at some times in those Pieces where the Critic himself hath thought it superfluous. I must own, it seems to me not only savouring of a becoming Modesty, but highly reasonable that an Author excuse himself, where he foresees Objections will be raised against him.  
He is now superlatively happy, who can either write or speak without a Penitet, or at least a Pudet; and yet if no one would bestir himself on the account of Censure, we must be ever liable to a much greater Mischief, occasioned by our Silence.  
I shall only mention, that the almost continual Avocations by Business, when this Discourse was penned, gave me at some times so great interruption, as may have rendered the same the more incoherent, and will, I hope, prevent an Expectation of any thing studied or accurately curious, which was, as I may say, stolen from the spare minutes of another's Service.  
The Practice of Chirurgery, in which I have been educated, gave me many opportunities to inspect its Abuses; and though it was long before I could resolve to publish my Remarks, yet knowing them to be exactly consentaneous to the Truth, which some few can attest, I believed they might conduce to the conviction at least of some of those who have too long suffered themselves to be deluded by Fiction and fair Stories.  
As I have endeavoured to shun a useless redundancy of words, by abreviating what seemed to run too far upon Speculation, so I have likewise laboured to avoid Contention, which was not enforced. However bold it may appear, I can satisfy the Reader, that if he comes not prepossessed with some unreasonable Prejudice, but will candidly and impartially suspend his Opinion, till he hath considerately weighed the whole, he will find little wanting towards the making good my Assertions, of the necessity of a Reformation.  
Amongst the particular Causes of the Contempt of Surgeons, and that Art which they profess, I have first of all exposed the Empirical Practitioner, whom we call a Mountebank; you have here a view of the Origin of his Skill, by which may be the better guessed how far he hath contributed both to the discredit of Chirurgery, and the People's ruin.  
Indeed the very sense of this man's Practice being built upon Tradition only, and his so rashly experimenting his detestable Conclusions on Humane Bodies, should methinks afford us the most plenary Intelligence, that his Claim to this Privilege is altogether illegal, and that for this we ought to hold him as the general Object of our Scorn and Aversion; to be much more fearful of him than the supposed Poison he swallows down, that his more poisonous Antidote may be thought salubrious.  
You may find, after him, a plain description of the Libelling Quack, or Practising Pamphleteer, detecting some of the Frauds he makes use of to delude the Unwary; how meanly he is qualified for the practice of Physic and Surgery, as also with what detriment both to Purse and Person he is relied on.  
Farther, you have an account of the Chyrurgick Barber, his great Injustice to assume what he has no right to, his Presumption for intruding on the same, contrary to those Laws that are in force against him, and lastly, his most shameful Ignorance, notwithstanding which he will be tampering out of the reach of his Reason, to the scandal of every legal Artist, and to the present disesteem of the Art itself.  
There is from hence a digression to give you a prospect of the Practice of a Pretending Bonesetter, as well investigating his juggling contrivance to amuse the People, and draw them into a great Opinion of him, as laying open the falsity of his Predictions in point of Practice.  
I have endeavoured to inform you by some observable Instances, how extremely ignorant this person shows himself, and how absurdly ridiculous, when the real Practice of Bonesetting falls under his care, by which you may learn, that his pretence to the same is but a knavish Contrivance to cheat men of their Money, and (as it often happens) to spoil them of their Limbs.  
Finally, amongst those who have scandalised the Practice both of Physic and Chirurgery, I have most truly characterised our City Doctress, exposing her in all her Qualifications and Endowments, how forward she is to promise, and how capable to perform. By the method of her proceed, you may gain a foresight how serviceable she hath been to rid her Country of some thousands of its Inhabitants, and to bring the most contemptible Reflections on our Art, by the burdensome encroachment she hath made thereon.  
These, with some more general Annotations on the Practices of others, are the Contents of the ensuing Discourse, which if the Reader take the pains to peruse, he will find neither delivered on a mere Report, nor represented from a malicious Suggestion, but the Cases truly stated, as they happened in reality to fall under my observation.  
I have been so far from imposing any Misconstruction, as to endeavour with the utmost caution, that no one Reflection or Remark of Consequence should escape upon a bare Surmise or Supposition.  
Now, considering the great and almost unspeakable Comforts we are blessed with, in the most eminent Restorers of our Health, and Preservers of our Limbs and Lives, I believe there is scarce any Nation so unfortunately miserable as ours in their Bodily Disasters, and all upon the account of our most intolerable sufferance of base Impositions on those honourable Professions; which adds to our Affliction, How is it likely we should be secured from the fraudulent and knavish practices of deceitful men, at a time when they are so much countenanced, and even tempted by the small care taken to suppress their disingenuous and dangerous proceed; or what other can we expect, than a perpetual decay of Learning, from our great neglect to encourage and promote the same; a want of able Practitioners, from the discouragements they are subjected to, and the consequence hereof, viz. a Universal Damage accrueing to the People, till Care be taken to inspect these matters, and remove out of the way the Authors of our Calamities?  
The painful Mr. Tho. Gale thought he had abundant reason for his Complaint, That there were no less than Sixty Women who intermeddled in the Art of Surgery; I doubt not but we have at this time as many score, who in one respect or other will presume hereon, as well to the discredit of the Art, as to the destruction of the Unwary; there are not many Streets in London without three or four, nay, it is a Chance (and that a great one too) if the good Gentlewoman of almost every House doth not assume the liberty to tamper from C 〈…〉 r's Directions.  
Such indeed is the frail Judgement of many in Chyrurgick Affairs, that they believe those men to have the least Knowledge therein, whose sole Right and Propriety it is to practise in this worthy Art: The more eminent the Chirurgeon is, he must be attended (in their Opinion) with a Consequence of the greater Tyrannizer; or, The more learned the Artist, the more fraudulent Oppressor. If you consult any one of these, you are told, He will make a Cure, or, That you must expect the Work of a Chirurgeon. But if you advise with any Renegade Intruder, some practising Old Wife, or strolling Empirick, some boasting Quack, Barber, or Ignorant Undertaking Bonesetter, with the rest of this pernicious Tribe, you are to look for honest dealing, fine promises, and fair stories. After all, when you recover, which you are not to doubt under their management, you purchase Health at a much easier rate, than when you expose yourselves to the Extortion of a bloody-minded Surgeon.  
These are the frightful Bugbears that amuse the People to such a strange degree of Folly and Indiscretion, that from a Relation of this nature, by some infamous person, they will fly a mile or two, oftentimes a score, from a Faithful Practitioner, to enter themselves under the most ordinary handling of an Ignorant Undertaker. So that our present Case, as I conceive, will reasonably bear a Prognostic of this nature, that we may easily see how matters tend, when the most illiterate are advanced to a pre-eminence above the Learned.  
— Didicisse sideliter arts, was heretofore accounted the most serviceable Expense of Time in the whole course of Life, as well in respect of the profundity of Knowledge, for which Men were formerly so highly reputed, as also for that (on this account) they were looked on much better capacitated, and more eminently qualified to counsel such as were in Affliction, and to secure those in Distress; but it is now far otherwise, since not so much the solidity of a Man's Understanding (which is his most worthy and honourable Endowment, nay, his true and intrinsic Worth) renders him Taking with the Common People, as his unjustly-assumed Confidence to declare himself what he is not, on the most unwarrantable and unreasonable grounds imaginable. To be, and to pretend to be, are much at one with them, till they experience the great difference at the cost of their Limbs, and oftentimes at the hazard of Life itself.  
Since therefore I have taken this opportunity to give a small Insight into their dishonest Actions, I hope there will not be wanting some generous Spirit, who may consummate the Design of our Good Intention, at least so far as to put a Check to the extravagant Presumption of base men, and to put us (with all Wellwishers to the Public) upon taking some such course as may secure us from being endangered by them for the time to come.  
There remains to myself however this Satisfaction, that I have used my Endeavours to convince the most incredulous, and on that account have all-along taken care, that the Verity of my own Sentiments and Opinions, with respect to the Abuses put in practice by every of these persons, might be confirmed by the most demonstrative Evidence taken from Observation of their own Proceed.  
I have been the less solicitous to embellish or adorn my Discourse after the manner of Rhetoricians, since I intent it not so much for the perusal of any practical Author, neither to raise a Theorical Disputation on some novel Hypothesis, as for the conviction of the People, who have and do still suffer themselves to be imposed on.  
Let me give the Reader this farther assurance, that I have in no wise been persuaded, overruled, or guided by the Bait of a particular Interest, or other sinister Advantage to myself; neither have the Sweets of a Revenge, thrust forward by some inbred Malice for a supposed Wrong received, induced me to this publication; but the deep sense I had upon me (for want of some such information) how liable we are to suffer under the worst and most miserable circumstances, from the Practice of Injudicious Men, and withal (which I must needs say was a considerable motive) I was the more willing to appear in public, out of the sincere Respect I am obliged to pay that truly worthy and noble Art we call Chirurgery, and no less to the Professors thereof; I mean such of them as are qualified by a Legal Education to administer herein, whom I was extremely troubled to see so ignominiously used by the Opprobrious Reflections of many Ignorant yet Malevolent Detractors.  
Proceed now in charity with a favourable Censure, and if thou meetest with those Errors which have escaped mine, or the examination of the Press, be pleased to alter and amend the same; if they prove such as are not worthy Correction, in kindness pass them by, and let them (with many other trivial Corrigenda) be looked on as unavoidable Oversights, through the Weakness of the Author's Judgement.   

THE INTRODUCTION.  
IT is one of the grand Axioms, or Epithets, given by Philosophers to (their almost Deified) Nature, that She is Sui Conservatrix; and as generally believed by others, that there is a natural Propensity in Humane Kind, to attempt the speediest means of Self-preservation: But truly considering the degeneracy of Humane Reason in some, from what it was of old, and their contradictory Practice in the more eminent concerns of Life, we have just reason to dispute, whether there be such an inherent Principle or not, that directs infallibly to the Means of Restauration, when we are subjected to Bodily Infirmities.  
Did not Ignorance, with her Darling Impudence, cast a mist before our Eyes, and darken the Understanding, we might have hopes to see this Philosophical Tenet indubitably verified: But whilst the ingenious Artist is exploded, and the Artless Pretender mean while advanced; whilst the Rational and Methodical Remedies of the former, are held contemptible, and the Empirical Preparations of the latter, (tho' with the greatest detriment to those that use them) highly extolled and embraced: I say, till Men can make a more clear distinction betwixt one and the other, we may the less unreasonably suspect the Truth of this applauded Notion; and as we have just cause to compassionate the hard fate of the Vulgar, who are daily imposed on and deluded by the specious Pretences of the most Unskilful, too often to the hazard and forfeiture of their Lives; so, I think, it may be accounted the most necessary piece of service we can do them, to undermine the Foundation of these Infamous Impostors, to dissect their pernicious Principles, and lay open the treachery and impiety of their Deal.  
Hereby the unprejudiced Reader may obtain a Prospect of the greatest Benefit that can accrue from the best Performances of such a scandalous sort of People.  
I conceive it no unpardonable Deviation, if we look back upon Antiquity, and take a view of that sublime Respect which was formerly paid to the true and faithful Practitioner of this noble Art.  
Since it will be needless to spend our time in searching for its Original, I shall only intimate by the way what is recorded by the Ancients, who are differently opinioned in the point of Invention.  
Apollo is very early taken notice of for his profound Wisdom, particularly in the divine Mystery of Healing, on which account there was a noble and rich Sepulchre built after his decease, named by the Founders The Temple of Apollo. Aesculapius is thought by some to be descended of Apollo, though Virgil seems to think him first happy in the Discovery, and that he was for the same dignified by the Epidauris with the Title of a God: as were also his two Sons Podalirius and Machaon, whom Celsus does particularly mention as very eminent for Chirurgery, being carried from Crete to the Trojan Wars. But if what is reported of the renowned Chiron be true, that he was Master to Aesculapius, I think with more reason the precedence will be his. The same Celsus does farther suppose Hypocrates to be the Parent of all Medicine, and delivers the Chyrurgick Practice rather from him than any before him. Soranus says, 'twas Apollo first invented Medicine, that Aesculapius enlarged, and that Hypocrates finished ●he same, after whose death the Grecians erected ●n perpetual remembrance of his honourable deeds, a most stately and fair Tomb, at Delphi, near Parnassus, where they solemnised his Obsequies, and superscribed this Epitaph:  Hypocrates of Thessalia, and by kind of the Country of Coos, lies buried in this place: He was begotten of the Seed of the immortal god Phoebus, ●nd hath left in the World many Books of Medicine, to put away Sickness, and to preserve Health: what shall we need to say more of this worthy Man? there is no man's cunning that can give him his condign Praise. 
In the succession after these, there is mention made of Galen, Aetius, Paulus Aegineta, Avicen Albucasis, Guido Cauliacus, Joannes Tagaltius, De Vigo, Lanfranc, with many others.  
Farther, in the more ancient times, it is intimated by Dr. Willis, (in one of his Prefatory Epistles) that before the Medicinal Art wa● methodically digested, when Physic was give● at random, as 'tis now-adays by Empirics an● old Women, they held their experimental Recipes (which had been tried, and proved salutary) in so great esteem, that they were looked o● as sacred Monuments of Mercy, and diligently reserved in their consecrated Temples: but i● after-Ages, when their Understandings wer● more refined, and a more general success attended the rational administrations of ingenious Artists, it is recorded, that the superstitious Greeks were blinded with such a fervent zeal as to Deify their more eminent professed Chirurgeons, and adore them in the number of thei● Gods.  
The wisest of Men, from the beginning o● the World to this latter Age, in consideration that our Art hath for its exercise the most n●ble of Subjects, which is no other than the Divine Image of the Creator, considering likewise the many Casualties that were still waiting, to subvert the Oeconomy of Man's corporal state, have, for these Reasons as well as others, reputed and accounted Us the Hands of the Almighty.  
But if we inquire what particular Persons they were that had this Homage rendered them, we shall find them such as were legally constituted, for the discharge of so great a Duty as lay incumbent on them. There were no such Swarms of Pseudo-Medici & Chyrurgi, as now disturb the Town, and poison its Inhabitants, admitted into their Reverend Societies. They paid not this Respect to any, unless those who had been educated (ab incunabulis) by the most diligent service under the greatest Masters; for they looked on Humane Life of too high a concern to be tampered with by the barbarous H●nds of a rude and ignorant sort of People. They found no reason in those days to prize and overvalue the famous Italian or High-German Doctor, thereby to degrade and despise the more worthy Physicians their fellow-Citizens; neither would they confide in the most ridiculous absurd Predictions of the calculating Piss-prophets that now molest us. For why? There was a communicative Knowledge to each other, that the superstructure of these men's Ass-trologick Judgements, was founded on their ●nsatiable desire of Gain, which they procure ●o themselves out of the Spoils of the People.  
We read not, till of late, of any inferior Mechanic so speedily advancing as to commence presently Doctor of Physic, professed Chyrurgick Operator, yet still a Mountebank. No, Petticoat Practitioners were formerly accounted Oracles, or their Skill esteemed valuable in competition with the legal Surgeons: They were endowed with greater Prudence than to run a mile or two after an ignorant Butcher, to inquire whether the ingenious Artist had performed his Duty: but in all times of their Calamities, and on all emergent occasions, could safely ask Counsel, and confide in the true and genuine Sons of Hypocrates and Aesculapius, expecting from the Endeavours of these men (under God) the Restauration and Preservation of their Limbs and Lives.  
If we would reflect now on the great and mighty illustration the Medicinal Science hath received in the present Age by many rare and admirable Inventions of some modern and ingenious Spirits, we might suppose they have had great reason to expect rather an augmentation than diminution of that Honour which was given to their Predecessors; not only for the considerable Advantages they have made by their Discoveries, in order to complete and perfect both Study and Practice of Physic, but also for their great Industry, and the pains that it hath cost them to erect another Fabric on the Basis of solid Reason, whereby they have adapted the most intricate, obscure, and conjectural Phaenomena of the Ancients to plain, easy and practical Demonstrations.  
We have had indeed such considerable and magnificent Contributions towards the completing of this worthy Science, that the most voluminous of the Ancients, nay, (if it may be pardonable to say so) the whole Body of Physic, as than confusedly and darkly compiled, is a rude and indigested Chaos, comparatively to one singular Invention of the neoterics, whose sublime Speculations and proficuous Experiments are elegantly descanted on by Dr. Charlton, in the account he gives a Friend in France, of the considerable improvement of Learning here in England, where he thus accosts him in some parts of his Discourse.  In the College of Physicians in London, which (without offence to any thing but their own Modesty) I may pronounce to be the most eminent Society of Men for Learning, Judgement, and Industry that is now, or at any time hath been in the whole World. Here you may behold the House of Solomon; some there are who constantly employ themselves in dissecting Animals of all kinds, as well living as dead; and faithfully recording all Singularities that occur to their observations, both in the several Species and Individuals; that so they may come to know what is perfectly natural, what preternatural, what rare and monstrous amongst the Parts of them, and also what resemblance there is betwixt the conformation of the Parts in the Body of Man, and those in the Bodies of other Animals, ordained by Nature to the same or like and equivalent uses. Others there are who daily investigate Arguments to confirm and advance that incomparable Invention of the Immortal Harvey, in his Circulation of the Blood, and have already brought the Doctrine thereof to so high a degree of perfection, that it is not only admitted and admired by all the Schools of Europe, but the advancers of it also are able to solve most of the difficult Phoenomena in Pathology, only by this Hypothesis; and frequently effect such Cures by having respect thereunto, in their Intentions and Prescripts, as well in chronic as acute Diseases, as would not be hoped from any other Groundwork formerly laid. 
Indeed this singular transcendent Discovery hath given more light to the Materia Medica than all the laborious Trials, Inventions, and Experiments that had been practised in former Ages; I may say, that the whole System of Anatomy, Physic, and Chirurgery have hereby received such great amendments and alterations, that the quondam Clouds of Ignorance seem wholly to be dispersed. Here is no flying to occult causes for an explanation of seeming Difficulties, (which was the Refuge of the Ancients) nor any other Asylum left for the Unlearned; but the progress of each Distemper incident to Mankind, with its various appearances in the beginning, augment, state, and declension, are perspicuously said open and unfolded from an Aetyology built upon Inferences gathered from this substantial and lasting Foundation. But to prosecute a little farther the aforesaid Author, where he proceeds;  There are moreover amongst the Members of this Venerable Society, who pursuing the hint given them some few years since, by Jacobus Mullerus, in an academical exercise of the Nature of Animal and Voluntary Motion, have gone far towards the explication of the Reasons and Manners of the motion of the Muscles, by the Principles of Mechanics; an Enterprise of great difficulty, and long desiderated, as leading us to understand the Geometry observed by the Creator in the Fabric of the Microcosm, and the verification of Anatomical Assertions, by Demonstrations Mathematical. There are others who have found out a more commodious use of the Glands than all antecedent Anatomists ascribed to them; with other considerable Discoveries that have been made, such as the Motion of the Chylous Juice from the Stomach to the Receptaculum Chyli; the falsity of that Opinion, that the Liver was the immediate instrument of Sanguification, which is now found inservient to no other use than the sequestration of the bilious Particles of the Blood, conveying the same into the Gall, to be thence excluded into the Guts, the discovery of the Lymphatic Vessels, with many others. 
Moreover, were we desirous to take a view of the considerable Improvements that have been made by some learned Men of our own Country and Profession, we need but take the trouble of perusing those elaborate Lectures of Dr. Reed, Mr. Woodall, with many more, not forgetting to make particular mention of those methodical and practical Observations of Mr. Serjeant Wiseman.  
These, amongst others, are the Helps we have received from the unwearied Labours of Men eminent in our Art, so that if the College of Physicians is allowed metaphorically to be esteemed Solomon's House, I think we may pronounce our Anatomic Theatre in Surgeon's Hall, to be a very splendid and glorious apartment thereof; not so much for the curiosity of Structure, as for the Streams of Eloquence and good Literature, flowing from those Fountains of True Wisdom Dr. Brown and Dr. Tyson, whose candid and impartial Discoveries for the support of what we all desire, viz. Health and its continuance, will never sufficiently be compensated by this purblind Age.  
Have we not then a just cause to stand amazed at the predominant Folly of some, who will rather choose to trust their Bodies in the hands of Quacks and other fraudulent Professors, than in those of the most judicious and skilful Practitioners: and truly, if the learned Dr. Featly thought he had such great reason to inveigh against the Sufferance of Laymen's imposing on the Ministerial Function, who took on them (the most unlearned Mechanics) to expound the Sacred Scriptures, to the disgrace and contempt of Divinity and Episcopal Authority: Have not we, I say, as great occasion to descent from, and admire at the present toleration of those great Abuses, which by the most illegal and ignorant Intruders are offered to the noble and divine Mystery of Healing. I may truly justify the word Mystery, since it is so undeniably, to those who by their most impure and nocuous conceptions thereof, their evil Practices and oftentimes fatal Performances therein, have brought a general Scandal on the most noble of all Arts, an Art which was delivered unto fallen Man by the Almighty himself, and hath been accounted the most excellent of all others, by the wise and supreme Donor, as well as in the sight of Princes; which made King Solomon advise us to give Honour to the Physician, since the Highest Lord hath created him for our Help and Health. The most wise Hebretion gives this Encomium of Medicine, That it proceeds from the Most High, and that the ancient and most wise men of the Land have brought it forth; he that is wise will not despise it.  
What pity is it, and how justly do we complain, that this our honourable Art, which in former times the most renowned Kings and Princes did not disdain to dignify, not only by their Contributions to render its Fame immortal, but also by diligently practising themselves therein, that it should now unworthily be entrenched on, and degraded by the unjust Pretences of the very Scum of the Earth? This the vaunting Empiric, and cozening Quack, the confident Barber, the fraudulent Bonesetter, and ignorant Old Woman; This all people, of whatever Condition or Occupation, take on them to administer and intermeddle withal: Nay, these men tell us so many Stories of their grand Achievements, of the safe, certain, speedy, and infallible Remedies they have purchased by their multiplied Experience, that it shall escape them hard if they possess us not with a Belief, that we run the greatest hazard in the trusting our Distempers to the management of any other (though infinitely more skilful) than themselves; the meanest of their Medicines outvys all other Compositions for their Virtues; and the most inferior of their Administrations must be reputed a Panacea.  
The great and only support of these men's Credit is built on such lying and romantic Stories; and though the person that hath once tried the best of their Performances most commonly carries about him (perhaps to his Life's end) a sufficient Remembrancer of their abominable Practice, yet for a more public conviction, and that I may deter others from falling into their hands, I shall use my weak Endeavours to display these notorious Cheats in their true and proper colours, to divulge their wheedling Insinuations, and expose to the naked Eye as well the weakness of their Judgmen as their Miscarriages in most, if not all, their insolent Undertake, that so the World may see we are as willing to preserve them from, as to recover them out of Danger.  
I am sensible, that for want of such a distinguishing Mark between Art and Ignorance, there have been many well-meaning and deserving Persons, who have shipwrecked both their Health and Fortunes by their most dangerous encounters with such, who as they value not their Reputation in the forfeit of their Credit, so are they the less concerned at the loss of (what they never had) a Good Name, if thereby they can accumulate their unjustly-acquired Gain; the discharge of Conscience is to them of no concern, for if they heeded that, the bare sense of their Gild in a most gross Simplicity would fly in their Faces, and debar them of those Privileges they now endeavour to engross unto themselves.  
If the confident declaration of a Man's own Skill to the World be of sufficient force to engage the People to employ him, without an impartial consideration whether there be any thing of Merit to render him acceptable; or if his own positive Assertions of those great and mighty things he has performed, without any thing of disquisition, be capable to constrain their applause, we have the less reason so profoundly to admire how some Men have gained such considerable ground amongst Rational Creatures.  
With respect to the most welcome and easy admittance to the Trust and Confidence reposed by incautelous People, in the extravagant boasting of Emperical Quacksalvers; and in consideration that their Breach of Promise, together with their unsuccessful Practice, have been but little available to forewarn others how they rush into the same Mischiefs; these Reflections should, in my opinion, encourage every man who respects the Miserable, to take care that they be not deluded by the specious Pretences of those who have presumed to style themselves Metropolitan Physicians, the most infallible Health-Restorers of the People, having gained their Knowledge by ten, twenty, sometimes thirty years Industrious Study; when 'tis a Chance at the same time if they ever looked on any other piece than Queen Elizabeth's Closet, Culpepper's English Physician, and his Midwifery, Aristotle's Problems, or his Masterpiece, with some other choice Cabinet of Physical Receipts. And on this small stock of Knowledge, with a much greater provision of undaunted Impudence, they account themselves deserving such sounding Titles, whereby they insinuate themselves into the People's favour, and by degrees draw them into a persuasion, that they are the only Men fitted for the cure of all Distempers, as well by Internal Remedies as Topical Applications.  
It is unlikely I should frame a more suitable description of these wonderful Operators, than we have given us by an ancient Author, in his Office of a Chirurgeon, on which account I shall take the liberty to transcribe what is most for our present purpose, in his own words.  
It is requisite (saith he) that this Artist be not only learned in the Theory, but also that he be brought up under some cunning Man, which hath good Knowledge in the same Art; for otherwise it is not possible to come to the exact and perfect knowledge thereof. If I should tell you of the ungracious Witchcrafts, and of the mischievous Abuses and Misuses that have been in times past, and yet in our days continually used, ye would a little marvel thereat: But forasmuch as it hath not only turned to the dishonour of God, but also to the state of the Commonwealth, I have thought good to declare unto you part of their wicked do, that it may be unto you who profess this Art an Example, to avoid the like wretched Deeds. These things I do not speak to you of Hear-say, but of my own Knowledge.  
In the Year One thousand Five hundred Sixty two, I did see in the two Hospitals in London, St. Thomas 's and St. Bartholomew 's, to the number of Three hundred and odd poor people, that were diseased of sore Legs, sore Arms, Feet, and Hands, with other parts of the Body, so grievously infected, that One hundred and twenty of them could never be recovered without loss of Leg or Arm, a Foot or Hand, Fingers or Toes, or else their Limbs crooked, so that they were either maimed or undone for ever. All these were brought to this Mischief by Witches, by Women, and by Counterfeit Javils, that take upon them to use the Art, not only robbing them of their Money, but of their Limbs and perpetual Health. And I (saith our Author) with some others, diligently Examining these poor people how they came by their grievous Hurts, and who were their Chirurgeons that looked unto them; they confessed that they were either Witches, which did promise by Charms to make them whole, or else some Women that were to cure them with Herbs, and suchlike things, or some Vagabond Javil, that runneth from one Country to another, promising unto them Health, and deceiving them of their Money.  
This Fault and Crime of the undoing of this People, were laid unto the Chirurgeons, I will not say by part of those who were at that time Masters of the same Hospitals; but it was said, that Carpenters, Women, Weavers, Cobblers, and Tinkers did cure more People than the Chirurgeons themselves; but what manner of Cures they did, I have already told you, such Cures as all the World may wonder at; yea, I say, such Cures as makes the Devil in Hell to dance for joy, to see the poor Members of Jesus Christ so miserably tormented. What shall I say hereunto, but lament and pray unto our Lord Jesus, for his precious Blood sake that was shed upon the Cross, to illuminate the Hearts of the Magistrates, for amendment hereof; and that this Rabblement of Runagates, with Witches, Bawds, and the Devil's Soothsayers, with Tinkers, Cobblers, and Sowgelder's, and all other the wicked Coherents of these same Devilish Sects, which do thus abuse the Noble Art of Medicine, may be reform and amended; and every one to get their Living with Truth in the same Arts that they have been brought up in; else to be grievously punished, as they be in other Countries, and as they have been here in times past.  
I think the Prince is bound in Conscience to punish those false and wicked pernicious Deceivers, who do not only destroy the Limbs of Man, but his Life also. Of this sort London is as well stored as the Country, for I believe there be not so few therein as Threescore Women, who practise in the Art of Physic and Surgery: Of these (some are called wise Women, or holy and good Women) there are many sorts and sects, as some for sore Breasts, some for the Stone and Strangury, some for Pain in the Teeth, others for Scald Heads, some famous for sore Throats, others for sore Legs, with a Thousand more; Galen in his Book of Sects never made mention of half so many. I think, if this worshipful Rabblement were gathered together, they would make a much greater procession than ever did the Monks, Friars, and Nuns, when they swarmed most in London.  
This unprofitable Company have so increased in this City, that all the Countries in England have taken notice thereof; yea, and at this day all the Countries in Christendom may wonder at our Laws, in suffering and maintaining of them.  
Well, I say, we will let these pass with Tinkers, Carpenters, Old Women, etc. and a great many of other Occupations, whereof some come out of France, some out of Germany, and so of other Countries, some for Religion, and some to pick Pockets. And all these are now become great Physicians, and Chirurgeons, to the no small advancement of this noble Art of Medicine; for their worthy Cures do bear such witness thereof, and give such a Report unto them, that at this day the learned Physicians and Chirurgeons may not a little rejoice. I say no more, but God amend all, and unless these things are quickly amended, I think the diseased people with Wounds, Ulcers, etc. are like to have small help; and if it shall chance the Prince to have Wars, then are this Company that I have spoken of like to serve. And I doubt nothing, but that the Soldiers shall have great courage to fight, forasmuch as they shall have such a goodly company of Chirurgeons to cure them when they are wounded: As for others, there will be but few left, unless better order be taken, and that with speed.  
Thus we see that in those days the unwearied Endeavours of illiterate and base People were not wanting in their Knavish Practices to overthrow the Medicinal Art; but lest I tyre my Reader with a preliminary Discourse, I shall hasten to expose (which was the drift of my Undertaking) the Principal Intruders on and Pretenders to the same, by whose disingenuous Practice it hath received so great a diminution in the estimate of some responsible, but mostly the common People; each of which you will find the Subject of a particular Section.   

Apologia Chyrurgica.  

SECT. I.  
UPON enquiry into the Causes of the Contempt both of Physicians and Chirurgeons, we shall find in the first place (as one great Promoter hereof) the perfidious Practices of a Fellow whom the Vulgar entitle Mountebank.  
He is one whose true and fixed Character, with respect to his unsettled state and condition, cannot properly be rendered, and therefore we will content ourselves with a description of his Employment.  
An Empiric or Mountebank (after Dr. Blancard's concise and pithy remark on him) is one who vends his irrational and immethodical Medicines to the Rabble that surround him; for being mounted on the public Stage of his Ambition, he blows so loud the Trumpet of his (otherwise insupportable) Fame, that the Passengers who pass by him run as great hazard of being infected from his Discourse, as did the Company of Ulysses, when they stopped their Ears, to prevent being captivated by the charming Sirens.  
'Tis true, the musical concord of his Notes cannot be supposed so tempting as was theirs; yet by reason of those fatal Events which do attend the Unwary, that by this Bait are hauled into his Net, he may be looked on as more perilous than those ficitious Musicianers.  
Having sent his Fool before him, with his other antic Attendants, by some pleasing, tho' ridiculous Gestures, to allure the People; when his Auditory is somewhat numerous, Sir Fop himself (upon notice given) immediately mounts the Stage, and after a very reverend Congee to his ignorant Admirers, addresseth himself to this purpose.  
Gentlemen,  
The deep sense of your subjection to Bodily Infirmities, and your want of the most true and necessary means for your recovery: I say, weighing in my Mind the multitude of Distempers which my fellow Creatures are liable to undergo, if not redressed by the hands of Art; and withal well knowing your want of able Physicians, I thought in this great exigency there was an absolute necessity for me to force myself from that private and contemplative life I lead in the free enjoyment of a plentiful Estate, to make known to you my Abilities in the practice of Physic as well as Surgery.  
I will assure you, gentlemans, I have obtained such stupendious specific Remedies, for the cure of most, if not all your Distempers, as no Mortal besides myself can reasonably pretend to.  
Now having his Man ready that attends his motions with his Dish of Trumpery for the entertainment of his Guests, he first pulls out his little Box of Electuary, and proceeds.  
Here is first of all, gentlemans, my true and only famous Orvietan, a Medicine of such admirable property, that it expels all manner of Poison, which is incident to the whole Race of Adam 's Posterity.  
Gentlemen, this only administration strikes at the very Root of Distempers, and perfectly eradicates the worst of their Concomitants. The Orvietan of itself, Gentlemen, is very well worth your Money, but 'tis the consideration of your Wants, and the real necessity that there is to keep such things by you, that occasions me out of a cordial love and respect to your welfare, to let you have some other things, almost gratis, into the bargain.  
Here are next of all, gentlemans, my Pilulae Excellentissimae, a most incomparable Purge I will assure you, gentlemans, which answer all Intentions of purging Physic, and are the most friendly to Nature of any thing yet known: They sweep the Stomach, cleanse it of all Impurities whatsoever, and carry them forth of doors with the greatest ease imaginable.  
You have next, gentlemans, my Pulvis contra Vermes, or Powder which kills all Worms: This Powder, Gentlemen, not only expels those Crudities, and the Corruption which engenders those troublesome Infects, but also procures a good Appetite, makes a light Heart, and recreates all the Spirits, as well natural, vital, and animal. And now, Gentlemen, that you may see I am as willing to take care of those outward Accidents you are prone to, as your inward Distempers,  
I give you, Fourthly, my Emplastrum divinum, which for its wonderful Virtues may truly be so called. It cures all Aches proceeding from Heat or Cold, Pains of what kind soever in any part of the Body; it resolves Tumours of all sorts, tho' never so obdurate and hard to be dealt withal by other Remedies. In short Gentlemen, you need no other Plaster to keep by you on any account whatsoever.  
You have lastly, Gentlemen, my Balsamum Multarum Virtutum, which cures all Wounds, Ulcers, Fistula's, and what not? for indeed it is of sufficient force to withstand all putrefied Humours lodged in any part of the Body. So that you see, Gentlemen, I am as willing to save you the unreasonable Fees of other Physicians, as the extraordinary Sums of Money which a Chirurgeon requires for a small and inconsiderable Cure.  
Having made this learned Harangue to the People, and rehearsed the same two or three times over, he leaves them to pause a while, and then diverts them with an Interlude of his fantastic Drollery; which being over, and Monsieur the Doctor majestically withdrawn, his Confederate Juggler (almost as good an Orator as himself) gins to this effect.  
Gentlemen, I would earnestly entreat you, for your own safety, to embrace this fit Opportunity of purchasing these most infallible Medicines, whilst you may have the great benefit to find the Doctor in Town, which will be but a week at farthest. (At the same time he designs to stay till he is forced to fly the Town.) But, continues he,  
I'll assure you, gentlemans, you will never meet with the like Opportunity as long as you live.  
The Doctor, First of all, presents you, gentlemans, with his most famous Orvietan, which is the greatest Wonder in Nature, to procrastinate your Health and Lives.  
Secondly, He almost gives you his Pilulae Excellentissimus, in English, The most excellent of Pills.  
Thirdly, Here is the Dr's Pulve●e Vermibus, or his Powder to kill all manner of Worms in Men, Women, and Children.  
Fourthly, You may have his Emplastrum divinum, or a Plaster to cure all manner of Aches, Pains, Swell, or Tumours whatsoever.  
Fifthly, and lastly, Gentlemen, here is the Dr's Balsamum multutum vertarum, which heals all Wounds, Ulcers, and other Accidents proceeding from what Cause soever.  
You have all the whole Packet, Gentlemen, for the inconsiderable price of one Shilling.  
Gentlemen, 'tis not the small Gain which is gotten hereby that maintains the Doctor's charge of his Coach and Horses; no, Gentlemen, he does it purely for the benefit of poor People, as well as others, who are willing to be ruled by his Directions.  
Now Gentlemen, those that are willing to be Masters of these serviceable Remedies, let them throw up their Money in Glove or Handkerchief, and the whole Packet shall be returned them therein. If you make not use of the present time, you must not blame the Doctor, when it shall please him deservedly to debar you of this great privilege, by his speedy absence.  
I have been the rather willing to impose the trouble of perusing these great Impertinencies, in regard that from this exact Copy of the Original, the whole Design may be more commodiously guessed at; for, first of all, his elevating the Minds of the conceited Vulgar with the title of Gentlemen, (without which he scarce repeats a sentence) argues his Endeavour from bringing them into a high opinion of themselves, that they may harbour the same of him, and that he the more unsuspectedly may carry on his Cheats.  
Secondly, His frivolous Circumlocution and repetition of the same Discourse, implies as well his Ignorance, as his incessant appetite of Lucre.  
Thirdly, His thus openly publishing himself to the World doth clearly indicate his want of Merit to be sought after, and the shift he is put to for to purchase a Living, by making this abominable fabulous proclamation.  
Fourthly, His vain Ostentation by the antic Fooleries of his Tumblers and Ropedancers bespeaks him to be the greatest Spend-time of the People, who are the rather willing to tarry, when the thought of their Business is diverted by the Conceits of Merry Andrew, and the Mountebank in the Interval, finds the Sweets of an opportunity to put off and vend his Empirical Compositions.  
Truly, this Fellow may most justly be accounted the Common Enemy of the People, not only for the Time he cheats them of, which should be otherwise employed, but also for their Money, which (if they want not for their own or their Family's subsistence, and know not to employ it more advantageously) is better thrown to Swine, who will not evilly reward them, than given to these deceitful Quack-pretenders, who prey both on their Purse and Persons.  
Fifthly, and lastly, (which is the number of his Medicines) His inconsiderately ascribing so many and different Virtues to each single and improper Remedy, without reflecting on the various Intentions and Alterations that are especially made in Surgery, before we can accomplish the cure of any compound Indisposition, doth absolutely demonstrate him to be ignorant and knavish, and as great a Novice in Surgery as his Hireling Jack-pudding.  
Having given you this cursory view of the Mountebank upon his Stage, we will now conduct you to his Lodging, which is commonly near thereto, in some public Victualling-house or Inn, where his Host (perhaps for botching up some former Clap, or out of an expectation of Custom to his House) suffers him to live Rentfree.  
His Chamber is commonly set off with Skeletons of Pugs, Dogs, Rabbits, and other Animals, which he has got some Butcher's Boy to anatomize and set together for him. There are likewise the stuffed Skins of Crocodiles, Panthers, and Sea-Lyons, and these, he tells the People, are such as have been presented him, for some remarkable Cures in his dangerous Travels through the remotest parts of the World.  
In his Window it's possible you may find half a peck of Teeth, some of which (as he tells you) he threw out on the Stage with the Point of his Sword, others with an imperceptible touch of the forefinger of his right hand.  
In other parts of his Chamber you may see Humane Bones, being such (he would insinuate) as he hath amputated or dismembered on necessitous occasions, yet by a more particular Enquiry we shall find he procured them after the same manner as his Caemiterean Teeth, or those from the Churchyard.  
I shall conclude these Remarks with the recital of an Account I had given me some time since, of a certain famous Empirick, who upon a Visit made him by a Gentlewoman for his Advice, about a Pain in her Breast, she chanced to espy under a Glass in his Closet a very black and deformed piece of Flesh, which (out of curiosity) enqui●ing af●er, the Mountebank very impudently told her, that it was a Cancered Breast which he had taken from the Body of a certain Indian Queen, whom he had recovered in three weeks afterwards. The Gentlewoman, surprised at the Skill of this famous Operator, when she came home, imparted it to some of her Neighbours, upon which the whole Imposture was detected▪ and the Breast proved no other than that of a poor Woman's, by which Excision he had sent her into the other World, and kept her Breast as a Pledge for payment of the Money, till she should come back again to redeem it; which when he had boiled, as Catch does his quartered Members, (to preserve them from being tainted by the Air) he kept as a Monument of his admirable Dexterity.  
It would be too tedious to enumerate all the Cheats such Persons practise, to render themselves famous; and therefore waving their particular Enarration, I shall give you as short an account of his Education or Initiation in the Practice of Physic, by which you may perceive the utmost of his accomplishments in that sublime Science.  
By an Enquiry of this nature you will find, that the whole of his Judgement proceeds from a Twelvemonths cohabitation with some Country Practitioner, who after covenanting that he should not molest him when he practiseth for himself, (for a small Stipend) permits this Intruder to inspect his Business, till the expiration of such a term of time; when the little Bagful of Conceit, thinking himself sufficiently flegged in Knowledge, having thrown aside his Leading-strings, gins to soar aloft on the Pinions of his unbounded Pride, and scorning those mean Retirements of an obscure Practitioner, who permits himself to be sought to, he thinks he hath already a sufficient Call to publish himself to the World; and thereupon immediately erects a Stage in some City or Market-Town, where he perpetrates the most enormous Mischiefs, under the notion of a most undoubted Preserver of the People's Lives.  
If this does not exactly quadrate with his original, but that he descends from a better Progeny than the former, having spent his Patrimony through his extravagant living, and disdaining to labour otherwise for his Bread; in this exigency he can find out no better method for an idle and easy life, than that of turning Mountebank; in order whereto, considering likewise that it was absolutely necessary he should be skilled in some Terms of Art, the Virtues of a few Simples, and the making up some vulgar Remedies (which he can easily disguise) to amuse the People. On suchlike Reflections he betakes himself to the turning over some plain and intelligible Author, from a short converse with whom, together with the advantage of indifferent Natural Parts, he sets up for the most experienced Physic and Chyrurgick Professor about Town: yet at the same time, if he were brought to the Test, 'tis most certain, that he (nay, the ablest of them all) knows not rightly to deliver either Diagnostic or Prognostic in the most usual of disastrous occurrences to Humane Life, and so much a Stranger to Chirurgery, that you will find him unable to give a discerning Querist a satisfactory definition of either Wound or Ulcer.  
Now these are the fit Idols of the People's Applause, whose quacking and dishonest deal meet with less Calumny and Opposition than the just and artificial proceed of the Licentiate Practitioner.  
One great Bait wherewith this Pretender ensnares his Auditory, is his fair Carriage and splendid Equipage: and indeed (what is mostly to be lamented) when by the influence of a Friend at Court he can screw himself into the Prince's favour, he than bears all before him, with his assumed Title of a Regius-Professor ordinarius, or (as Medicaster Medicatus in his Banter upon J. B.) One of the King's most Ordinary Practitioners.  
The two notorious Empirics, that have for some years past infested England, when they had by the like means procured, as they call it, the Signal Testimony of a Prince's Favour, the● were no sooner mounted on the Stage, but it was exposed to the People's view, who were from a prospect of this Royal Gratuity to respect them as it were by consequence for very eminent Physicians. But did not the many fatal Errors committed by them in most parts of the Town declare their Arrogance, as well as Ignorance: yet I am well satisfied, that a considerate Person can value no man so much on a gaudy appearance, as on that of a sound and rational Judgement, which is not only furnished by Autopsy, in a continued series of Practical Experiments, but adorned with the Theory of the choicest Authors.  
It may not be from our purpose, if I inform you, that notwithstanding the Titles of Physicians and Chirurgeons in Ordinary, that very Prince himself we were just now speaking of, neither before nor at the time of his unhappy dissolution, did think it reasonable to confide, or trust his Life in the hands of such his spurious Regii Professores.  
After my endeavours to prove this Upstart as dangerous a Person as the People can converse with, I shall lay down such a faithful account of his Practice, as will, I doubt not, render his Name so ignominous and detestable in the People's Ears, that in consideration of those many Outrages he commits on their Bodies, they may as well venture their Persons amongst ravenous Beasts, as trust their Health, Limbs, and Lives to the management of such Intruders on the Physician's and Surgeon's Duty.  
I have already acquainted you with his Education, which if not positively the same, I have intimated, yet circumstantially you will find it correspond.  
I am satisfied it was never known of any Empirick, that he acquired the Skill he boasts of by a diligent Service under a legal or rightly-qualifyed Chirurgeon, or commenced gradually Physick-professor at a University, but all from such sinister clandestine methods, as renders their Pretensions as unjust as their Practice destructive.  
It's but a few months from the writing hereof, that a late Mountebank or Stage-player in M— F— was consulted by a Gentlewoman then labouring under the severe Symptoms of an ulcerated Cancer, seated on her Breast. She had been tampering some time before with a noted Doctoress about C—, famous for such Cures, who laboured all she could to put it upon suppurating (for you must know she had been concerned before it ulcerated) she took much pains to persuade the Patient there was no other way for cure, but (as she expressed it) by letting out that corrupt Humour which was continually gnawing of her, and fed her Cancer.  
She said she had cured several by this new way, which the ablest Surgeons durst not meddle with: hereupon, by the incessant application of hot Topics, and powerfully attractive (to use the ancient expression) Pultisses, she in a little time accomplished her desire, but — Quis talia fando, with so evil a tendency of all things for the worse, that from this (as was to be expected) the before occult and quiet Cancer now manifested its rage and cruel fierceness more than ever; there was soon after the discharge a pertinacious Fungus thrust forth in several parts of the Abscess, and the virulent Humour by erosion, having opened the mouths of the Vessels, finding a clear passage, gave a free egress to the vital Spirits with the Blood upon any the least provocation.  
By this the Patient was debilitated, and her Spirits much exhausted, so that of necessity being compelled to dismiss her Female Undertaker, and to add more Fuel to her inextinguishable Flame, upon the rumour of a noted Empiric (one of the beforementioned) she refers her case to him, who finding the Breast movable (sure he thought it should not long continue so) most ignorantly order a Bottle of strong Spirits, for to bathe the part affected, and half a dozen Papers of purging Powder, to be taken every other day, which when she had roundly paid for, she took home with her to her House near M—.  
Upon the very first application, the most diffusive Particles of the subtle Spirit, fermenting with the bilious adust Humour, lodged in the Glandules of the Breast, soon hastened an Inflammation, by an increase of fluxion; which when by circulation the morbid taint was communicated to the rest of the bloody mass, there was presently excited so great an effervescence, and such a continued Feverish Ebullition, that notwithstanding the too late assistance of an eminent Chirurgeon, the vital Flame was suddenly extinguished, and this miserable Gentlewoman untimely hurried to her Grave.  
I think we shall have no occasion to produce a more evident demonstration of Empirical Ignorance, than this of the foregoing, where we find the application of a burning Spirit to an inflamed ulcerated Cancer, which was as likely to effect a Cure, as 'tis that the Fire should be put out by a combustible Sulphur.  
I was the rather free to insert this Passage, for that being an eye-witness, and enquiring what had been done, they showed me the Mountebank's Bottle of Spirits, which (as I could imagine) were no other than an inflammable Spirit of Turpentine, impregnated with Galbanum, Ammoniacum, and other Gums; and his Powder that of Jalap Root; a very likely thing to prove beneficial, where the most lenitive Purgation oftentimes puts the Humours into an over-eager ferment, to the disturbance of the part.  
A Case likely to have been as fatal as the former, you may understand by this, that when (a little while since) a Chirurgeon had been sent for to take a view of a weakly Child, he found one of our present Mountebanks there before him, who had already made a demand for his intended Cure, and was preparing for his Work: He told the Practitioner, that the Child had so large a Carnosity, or fleshy Excresence, by the Fundament, that it hindered him from going to Stool; but he did not question he should soon cure him, by cutting of it away: The Chirurgeon being curious to see it, desired a view of this strange case, which being granted, he found nothing more than a bearing down of the Fundament, or Prolaps of the Intestine, by cutting off which (if not providentially prevented) this bold Undertaker had most certainly killed the Child.  
Did not the fear of being burdensome to your Patience take me off from such a design, I could relate some scores of my own observations on these men's Practices, where the Success hath been much at one with the former, more especially in their Pretensions to the performance of Chyrurgick Operations, such as couching Cataracts, extirpation of Wenns, and other preternatural Excrescences; their cutting Men for the Stone, and extracting the same from the Female Sex per dilatationem, where their prodigiously expanding and lacerating the Urinary Ductus, if no worse Symptom intervene, yet by this violent usage they so far weaken the Muscular Fibres, that the Patient from thence labours of a Paralysis in that part, and is attended with an involuntary Miction all her Life after.  
Surely if such absurd Practices and daily Miscarriages as these, are not sufficiently conducing nor enough prevalent, there can be nothing more coercive to rectify men's Judgements, or to caution them from their application to a Pretending Mountebank, who not only acts out of the reach of his capacity, by surreptitiously entrenching upon Medicine and its Professors, but also (which is of much worse consequence) by so doing he too frequently brings the overcredulous into danger of their Lives.  
It was no rash Opinion of him who delivered his Thoughts to this effect; That if Justice had taken place, a great number of these Vagabonds had long since suffered by the hands of the common Executioner, as just Memento's to forewarn others how they tempt their Stars beyond their Light. And the Comparison made by another is as little disagreeable, That there is no farther disproportion between the Mountebank and murdering Robber than this, that the former, by a pretence of Service, having bereaved the unwary Passenger of both Money and Life, passeth undiscovered; whilst the latter, to accomplish the same ends, more certainly suffers condign Punishment, on the account of open Violence. There is also this disparity between the Cases of such who fall into the hands of either, that the one ignorantly as it were consents (tho' upon a different expectation) to be deprived of his Life, whilst the other is compelled to resign the same, when overpowered by his Adversary. In short, they are both sacrificed to the Interests of base Men, and if either be the more eligible, 'tis he who gives us time enough to fly from him, or defend our Lives.  
That I may take off what may seem to some a too rigid Censure on the Failings of these men, I shall give you the concurring Testimony of one of Galen's Commentators.  
Whosoever (saith he) doth take upon him to administer in the Medicinal Profession, for the safety of Man's Life, and being ignorant in the Principles thereof, he administering therein, and the Man perishing in his Hands, or under his administration; I say that this is Murder, and the practising Pretender answerable for the same, as well to humane as divine Justice.  
Truly 'tis great pity that such Trespasses as these come not under the Verdict of a skilful and inquisitive Jury, that the Treachery being hereby detected, the Tragic Actor might receive his Praemium.   

SECT. II.  
AS a farther occasion that those honourable Professions of Physic and Chirurgery have been so meanly reputed, and so much undervalved, I shall give you an account of the abuseful Practices of other Quack Pretenders.  
A Quack is by a certain facetious Author described as a kind of bastardly Breed, engendered by the Congres of a Mountebank and a City Doctress, from whence is said to result this deformed lump of Impudence.  
He is by others said to have been Jack of all Trades, yet could never live by any; and therefore having well acquainted himself with the extravagant Humour of such who can't distinguish Truth from what is otherwise; without farther deliberation he presently turns Doctor: but considering that his sudden pretence to the cure of all Distempers would raise suspicion of his being no more than a Pretender, he therefore (encouraged by the predominant Vice of the Age) professeth at first, that he is only Master of some pleasant, private, and speedy method for the cure of the Lues or French Pox, and according as this takes, if there be Money in the case, there's nothing comes amiss to him.  
These Quack Practitioners were never so numerous as they are at present, there being scarce a corner in either City or Suburbs, where one or other of these Intruders have not shamefully crept in.  
'Tis true, I can't suppose him full out so dangerous as the former, on account that his meaner and more private station, doth not admit him (if otherwise willing) to make such heavy slaughter among the People.  
There is also this farther inequality, That the former having summonsed a concourse of People, is the crier of his own Abilities, by those fabulous Stories he delivers to them; whilst this Person (for want of so much confidence) contents himself by employing some Hackney Scribe, who sends abroad for him a Noverint Universi, or Advertisement where to find the Habitation of such an eminent Professor both of Physic and Chirurgery, as will undertake to cure them when left off by others.  
We are so pestered now of late with these ridiculous Libels, that you cannot walk from Temple-bar to Charing-cross without being imposed on to inspect three or four of them. Indeed the divertisement they afford an ingenious Reader, may in some measure requite him for his expense of time in the perusal, it being certainly as pleasant to supervise some such as are especially intermixed with a few doggril Rhimes, as to be Spectator at a Farce. Risum teneatis? may very well be queried, there being such of them dispersed about the Town, as would constrain a smile from the most mortified Anchorite or reclusest Hermit.  
There is scarce a Corner-house in Town, or Entrance to a public Thorowfare, where you may not find a Quack-pretender's Bill.  
The one presents you with his Aqua Tetrachymagogon, a word as far above his Comprehension to etymologize, as the Zenith from the Nadir.  
A second offers a most specious and grave Title of Read, Try, Judge, and speak as you find; which when they do, it is commonly uttered with a shower of heavy Oaths and Execrations on the Author, for his trying Conclusions, and leading them on from an inconsiderable Mischance, (viz. a recent Venereal Gonorrhoea, Dysury, Bubo, etc.) into the most lamentable, excruciating, nocturnal Dolours, and often many more irreparable Disasters.  
A third gives you to understand, that at such a place lives the only, true, and approved Physician of Twenty odd years Experience: But to solve this Aenigma, we may make it out thus: The first seven years, perhaps, were served in an Apprenticeship to some Country Apothecary, or practising Barber, where he had the liberty to see his Master oftentimes let Blood, and cut holes up and down the Body, which he calls his Issues. After the Foundation was thus laid, we may imagine that a second seven (being youthful days) were spent in rambling foreign parts, where there might be as much Knowledge gained in Physic or Chirurgery as amounts to a cipher. The last seven were not improbably) spun out in working Journeywork, when coveting the Title of a pater familias, (he sets up for himself, and spends the remainder of his days in diligently cunning over his Grandmother's Receipt-book.  
Here he finds such admirable Titles to all his several Medicines, that he can suppose he hath already purchased a greater Talon of Knowledge than his Brother who sends out the Three Infallible Remedies.  
Here is first of all an incomparable Direction to make Lucatellus Balsam, which the good old Woman would never impart to any one before her death. In another place he finds a Receipt for Diachylon and Melilot Emplaster, for the cure of Cuts, Bruises, Splinters, and suchlike. In a third place there is a neverfailing Mercurial Water, subscribed, This is that Wonderful Water with which my Lady— cured Thousands of poor people, and was bequeathed as her Legacy to her Nurse Mrs.—.  
With this Solution of sublimate Mercury in fair Water the Dr. dresseth all Tumours, I should say Swell, Wounds, Ulcers, and the several species of them, under any appellation whatsoever. And amongst the rest, he hath found out a cheaper way (that he might be absolutely complete) than any as yet discovered, to make Pil. Cochiae, with another famous Purger in all cases, made of Aloes, Rhubarb, Coloquintida, and Jalap, brought into a mass, (or in the old Gentlewoman's Phrase a consistence) with the Syrup of Buckthorn-berries.  
You have here a prospect of the Basis whereon is built the wounderful Skill of the Rabble's many years Practitioner, from whence it will be no hard matter to judge of his Accomplishments in Physic and Chirurgery. And now if (your Spring being drained) you are not obliged to withdraw, you may behold upon another piece Cure without Poison, and that in Capitals.  
This Gentleman speaks as truly as the rest, but only under the notion of No Poison he would possess the People with a Belief, that from the Legal Artist they must expect Poison in their Cures, when at the same time some of these Pretenders shall not scruple to vend the worst of Poisons in their dangerous Compositions  
Indeed, if our sweet sublimed Mercury must deserve no other name than Poison (though one of the most noble Medicaments yet known) I dare be confident there never was any considerable Venereal Cure (pretend they what they please) effected securely without its exhibition. And of the same opinion we shall find the most reputable Authors who have written upon its Use and Virtues: I think the ingenious Harvey, and the late Mr. Richard Wiseman, have said enough to evince the great truth of this Assertion. However, to clear farther the treacherous proceed of one of these bitterly inveighers against Mercury, I shall impart what was communicated to me from a person of good credit, who himself pretending an occasion for a Box of Pills, bought about two drams of a Quack, who had wonderfully decried the Use of a Mercurial Preparation in Physic, when by a Chemical Analysis of the Composition he found therein contained half a dram and fifteen grains of crude Mercury or Quicksilver.  
After all, to bring up the Rear, another tickles you with the pleasing invitation of No Cure No Money. This honest man may, not unlikely, tell you, That 'tis customary however for his Patients to give him a small Fee of a Piece or two for encouragement, which he calls your Admittance; and when he thinks he hath done enough for this, he knows how to accost you, upon your next appearance, with a Compliment of this nature.  
Sir, or Madam,  
Finding the dangerous states of your Distemper to increase upon you, and that altogether through your own neglect, in not conforming to my Directions, I am wholly taken off the thoughts of farther proceeding with you; nay, I am as well satisfied, by your inordinate living, and by the appearance of new Symptoms, that you have strayed and got a fresh Mischance, as if I myself had been the person you have so lately been concerned with: Now, you know, it was by no Covenant or Bargain of mine promised, that I would cure one Clap upon another, without being satisfied for the first.  
Here you find there is no Remedy left (especially if you would be genteel) but to throw down a couple of Guineas more before you are discharged, and then you have the liberty to seek out a second Quack-salving Physician, in a much worse plight than you came to the first.  
Whatever may be the Practice of particular Undertakers, who send abroad these Papers, I know it hath been a course taken with some, who have insinuated to the Patient, they would have nothing till they performed their Cure; indeed, such are usually the Hypocritical sham's and Evasions of selfish Ignorants, who are forward enough to lay their own Miscarriages upon the Errors of their Patients, when it's possible at the same time they were never otherwise guilty, than being overforward to swallow down their preposterous and improper Drenches.  
I would therefore seriously advise the Unfortunate Sons of Venus, who have been paid the Wages for their Works of Lechery, that they as safely hazard a fresh encounter with their darling Courtesans, in hopes (and with as much likelihood) to find an Antidote where they received their Infection, as to rely for Relief upon the Counsel of a Quack Pretender; for by a repetition of their amorous Delights, they can but propel the malign Seminaries a little farther into the Body, and by the inconsiderate and rash adhibition of these men's Medicines, the said Infection is carried as far innards, and being mixed with the (now thoroughly polluted) mass of Blood, produceth as dangerous and inveterate effects.  
That which principally incites the People to make use of this Intruder, is, his retail vending of his Medicines; for being informed, that of such a famous Physician they may have an Infallible Box of Pills, of another an Incomparable Pleasant Liquor, of a third a Neverfailing Tincture, Lozenge, or Elixir, and all these undoubtedly preservative, as well as curative, in the Pox, with its Attendants: Being allured, I say, with so plausible an Invitation, they scruple not to send their Money by some trusty Friend, to purchase these Medicaments, wherewith (as they are told) they may cure themselves, without hindrance of Business, or knowledge of Relations.  
Hereby accrues this great advantage to the Quack, that he's not obliged to credit; for were not the Money paid upon the receipt of what he sells them, there are few People (upon a too late repentance of their Bargain) would come to return their Thanks.  
It is the pleasing hopes to keep their Mischances secret, with the promise that they meet with of so easy and cheap a Remedy to restore their Health, makes them look upon these Bills as so many Oracles, and what they deliver to be purely orthodox; but alas, the Event renders them the greatest Objects of our pity, who by splitting upon these Rocks of Dissimulation, have shipwrecked their Lives and Fortunes.  
I can do no less than admire that any Man should be so inconsiderate, not to say ignorant, as to take for granted, that an Eighteen-penny Box of Pills, an Halfcrown Bottle of Tincture, etc. should be of sufficient energy to withstand or profligate a radicated Pox, in all its several shapes and diversity of appearance, when at the same time it is not often known that any the most recently contracted Virulency was ever throughly expelled by these frequently mischievous and prejudicial administrations.  
I have heard of a certain Quack in London, who (upon a bare Recommendation from as wise a person as himself) undertook, and boldly exhibited the Powder of Cantharideses, or Spanish Flies, in order to carry off the Flux of a Gonorrhoea, but with so fatal a consequence, that hereupon the miserably afflicted Patient died suddenly convulsive.  
We have an account of two Cases of some affinity with the former, related by Meekrin, in his Chyrurgick Observations, which for the extraordinary circumstances attending, I shall copy from the aforesaid Author, in page 141.  
Bartholomeus Cabrolius, Anatomicus Monspeliensis, Observationem singularem (huc facientem) adfert his verbis.  
AVenionem evocatus, ut quendam majori in femore Sclopeto ictum, curarem, una cum Joberto Guilimeo & aliis; è diverticulo, ad Hominem, enormi laborantem Satyriasi visendum accessimus. Res ita habet, laborat quartana Aeger, in qua profliganda strigae auxilium petierat, quae illi poculum ex ℥ j seminis urticarum, Cantharidum ʒij. sesqui drachma coeparum aliisque concinnarat: hinc ita exarsit in venerem, ut Uxor ejus per omnia sacra dejerarat, se ab binoctio octuagies septies initam, interea saepius in lectum semen effudisse: imo nobis adstantibus, brevi momento ter se polluit, pedem lecti pro foemina subagitans: hinc in stuporem versi, quidquid fieri potuit remediorum adhibuimus, sed ipse paulo post libitinariis pollinctoribusque cessit.  
Huic affine, retulit Dominus Chauvet Avenionensis Doctor, aiebat ille, annis abhinc 32, Evocatum se Gaderousam ad hominem eadem Satyriasi correptum, & limine domus obvia fit Uxor, de praepostera libidine (rarum in mulieribus querelae genus) mariti expostulans; quadragies illam una nocte hortum suum fodisse; simul laceratam nimla affrictu ostendebat vulvam, remediumque ●olori juxta ac colori quaerebat. Simili potione malum Aeger contraxerat, quam praebuerat Mulier Xenodochio ancillans tertianae arcendae, qua hic in tantam amentiam versus fuerat, ut catenis obsessi instar ligandus erat. Aderat cum Domino Chaveto Sacerdos, qui cum verbis solari Hominem vellet: rogabat uti se deliciis istis immori sineret: Foeminae cum linteo oxycrato immerso cinxere. Mane mortuus, hiantiore membroque gangraena correpto, inventus, ridenti similis est rictu quem Sardonium vocant.  
I have the rather made this Digression, that the World may see what intolerable Mischiefs an unskilful Person may be guilty of, when countenanced the most illegally to practise in our Art.  
If it be replied, That many who have received the Venereal Infection have been cured by Quack Practitioners; I must needs say, that I am so far diffident, as to question their Security from the danger of Relapse. I very well know they have obtained a Truce, or short Requies, with their Distemper, in which Interval the Undertaker fues for satisfaction; but after some little time (remanente causa) there has been found to the Patient's sorrow, a Pejoration of all Circumstances, such as from the patching up a Venereal Ulcer, the retroceding of a malign Bubo, by refrigerant and repelling Topics, or the untimely stopping of a Gonorrhoea with restringent Injections, or otherwise, have imperceptibly transmigrated into the most inveterate Cephalalgia's, extreme Lassitudes, the most pungitive nocturnal Dolours, with other universal excruciating Pains in all parts of the Body. Indeed from such Ignorants you must expect no other, than to be carried from a simple slight Infection, and that most inevitably into the strongest Contagion; when if you seek Redress of your Physician, you are told, That he hath already commanded the Pox out of your Quarters, and these are no other than Symptoms of a predominant Scurvy, contracted by the profuse drinking of Wines and other strong Liquors, with your liberal seeding upon Salt and Spiced Meats.  
These are the Pretences of such illiterate and Empirical Pretenders; scarce any one of which ever freed a Patient of any Venereal Concern, without the severe Relics of a Pocky Scorbute, which when arrived at their Extreme, are sufficient to emaciate the most corpulent Body, and unless relieved by Medicine, will unavoidably induce a lingering Chronic Sickness, oftentimes terminating in Death itself.  
I hope now, from the already recited Instances and Remarks, there will need the fewer Arguments to dissuade Venereal Patients from their application to a Quack, and in his room to introduce the true practical Chirurgeon, where, upon discovery of their Misfortune, and an enquiry into the progress of their Distempers, they may with as much Secrecy, and far greater Safety (from a rational and well grounded method of Proceeding, without which the slightest Symptoms are no more than palliated) expect Recovery without the future access or danger of a Relapse; for let Men boast never so much of their Specificks, or infallible Nostrums, as an Eighteen-penny Box of Pills, a small Vial of their Antivenereal Elixir, with the rest of their Empirick Remedies, they are all, I say, the fantastic Notions and Chimaeras of self-interested and deceitful Intruders on the Medicinal Art, who have invented these fabulous Stories to amuse and fool the People, defraud them of their Money; and run them not seldom into the hazard of their Lives.  
There is the less reason to exemplify by more particular Remarks the Cheats by these Men practised to beguile the Unwary, since the same begin now to be so public and notorious, that you shall scarce light into the company of a clapped Monsieur, who is not presently reviling of his Physician, and lamentably condoling his Misfortune, for rashly confiding in the Judgement of a Quack Professor.  
I sincerely and hearty wish, that the distressed Gallican may be hereby warned, however I have discharged my Duty, with respect to the Praemonition; and if the Proffer of an undoubted Salutary Antidote be opposed or wilfully rejected by an infected Patient, we have the less reason to be concerned, when the Poison he hath received shall prove as fatal.   

SECT. III.  
ANother great cause for the Scandal and Male-reflection upon Chirurgery and its true Professors, is, the base and burdensome Intrusion made thereon by the Practice of a Barber, who by his Title seems to cry Halfs with the Chirurgeon, and bears as great a sway in the good Opinion of ignorant People as the Legal Artist.  
Indeed the very Notion of a Barber-Surgeon seems in some measure to countenance the Arrogance of these men, and hath so far imposed on such as are unacquainted with the Truth, that they have never imagined the great difference between the Chirurgeon and this bold Undertaker; neither will they be persuaded that the latter incurs a Penalty, by his assumed Confidence to intermeddle in the Duty of the former.  
Now have we not just reason to stand amazed at the Presumption of these men, who are so numerous in all the outparts of the Town, that it's almost a Rarity to find one of their Poles without a Frame of Porringers, or some other Signal of their Pretensions to Chyrurgick Practice: Nay, some of them have of late years presumed so far upon our negligence to suppress them, as to hang out for their Sign the Arms of our Profession; so that, as far as I perceive, it may in time be no easy matter to know the rightly qualified Professor of our Art, from the person of whom we are now giving you a description.  
However, that I may render my design the more complete, and show my willingness to rectify those men's Judgements who have been hitherto misguided, I shall give you a true account of his Original, that you may see with how great Injustice he takes upon him to administer in our Art.  
If we look back on his Descent, we shall find his Rise from some honest contented Barber, with whom having lived a little time in perfect abhorrence of so strict a confinement, he waits for an opportunity and steals off to Sea, where he passes indifferently for a Barber's Boy, till his Master dying; after a first or second Voyage, he steps into his Place; and now being acquainted with the custom of the Seas, on his next setting out he is, after some slight Examen, introduced as the Surgeon's Mate; in which station having purchased much Experience, and tired with rambling, full fraught with Knowledge, he comes on shore, where settling in some obscure part of the Town, he goes by the name of an able Barber or Sea-Chyrurgeon, and acquaints the People with such wonderful Stories of his extraordinary Achievements in our Art, that they are ready to repute him for as worthy a Practitioner as either Galen or Hypocrates were in former times. You may be sure to find him talking (where he fears not to betray his Ignorance) of nothing less than Fractures, Dislocations, Gangrenes, Mortifications, and Amputations, with other scraps which he hath picked from some ancient Author, and launching out into a farther liberty of romancing, is continually boasting how many scores of Limbs he hath taken off, on which his ignorant Auditory shall ground a supposition, that without a sufficient knowledge in the Practice of the Seas, it must be impossible for the Land Professor to be truly accomplished, or well qualified for administration in the Medicinal Art.  
To remove this Scandal, I must ingeniously confess, that were I to deliver my own Sentiments, I see very little reason to make distinction in point of Knowledge between the common Sea Professor and the Town pretending Barber. I know they are not seldom a Result one from tother; and I shall farther remark for our advantage, that in consideration of the most slovenly and uncouth Practice, together with the absurd (that I may not say ignorant) Proceed too commonly attending a great number of these Sea Practitioners, I am sensible there will be found as great difference between such a person and the City Chirurgeon, as betwixt a deceitful Artless Pretender and a Master in the said Art.  
I would not be thought herein by any means to reflect on those legal and ingenious Practitioners employed in His Majesty's Naval Service, but what I have spoken hereto, is on account of the great Abuses committed by those shameful Intruders on the Practice, who by making Friends to the Supervisers, have clandestinely procured the Title of Surgeons Mates, to the no small detriment and personal damage of the King's good Subjects, whose Health and Lives, in the Surgeon's absence, are in the hands of these so lately Barbers and Apothecaries Servants.  
'Tis not many years since a mere Novice in Surgery, humbly requesting a Grant for the Office of a Mate, upon a trial if he was fitted for the discharge of such a Trust, when he was asked, what he thought was the first intention in the treating of a penetrating Puncture on the Thorax, he replied, He had never seen such a thing in his life. Being farther questioned, if he knew where the said part, viz. the Thorax, was situate in a Humane Body, he as ignorantly pointed to the Hypogastrick Region of the Abdomen, and might (according to his Judgement) as well have shown the Palm of his Hand: yet this Person, as I am credibly informed, quickly after obtained his desire, and got off to Sea.  
The small converse I have had with these men, and the inspection I have made into their Business, hath afforded me many opportunities of beholding as indifferent Practice as might be expected from a tampering Old Woman.  
A certain noted Sea Practitioner had some time since a Patient here on Shore, who was afflicted with a malign Paronichia on his Finger, which he treated so long with Suppuratives that the Ligaments were corrupt, and the Bone carious; at length there happening a spontaneous discharge of Pus, the sinuosity was dilated, and the Bone denudated for ex●oliation. Now to recover his former negligence, in suffering the malignity to lie so long concealed, he as prejudicially dressed the Patient with Basilicon and Oil of Hypericon, laid immediately on the Bone, whereby the Putrefaction and Caries increased, a large Fungus thrust out, and after all there was a necessity for an Amputation, which was speedily performed.  
I could recite many other instances where the Success hath been much the same, with the foregoing, but whosoever will take the pains to look over the Observations of Mr. Richard Wiseman, will, I doubt not, be confirmed in my Opinion, with reference to the common Sea Professor, and his Brother the Barber-Chyrurgion.  
There is another sort of the last mentioned presuming Undertakers, by whose Abuses the Chyrurgick Profession hath suffered a diminution of her quondam Credit and Repute: He is one who not daring to run the hazard of the Seas for his Experience, and finding that the Trimming Trade does not answer expectation, enters himself as a Cubb under an Hospital Professor, or thrusts himself into the acquaintance of a Surgeon's Servant, who in his minority is perhaps induced, by the gratuity of a Present, to suffer this Intruder to take a Prospect of his Master's Practice, and to give him an opportunity of phlebotomizing Poor People.  
This is too commonly the Foundation of a Barber's Knowledge, who after some few hazardous trials courageously turns Adventurer, and punctures all who come unto him.  
I believe it will not be altogether foreign to our present task, if I spend some little time in making a discovery of their pernicious Practice in their pretence to that part of Chirurgery which we term Phlebotomy or Venaesection, so mightily now-adays in request, that there is rarely an indisposition which seems not in the People's opinion to indicate a necessity of emptying the Storehouse of the Vital Spirits, by the drawing forth of Blood.  
This frequent Custom were the less to be condemned, did not the Patient so rashly trust the performance hereof to the management of a Barber, who is generally unknowing in the many times prejudicial consequences attending this Operation.  
It will be impossible (saith the famous Dr. Willis) to prescribe general Rules according to the particular cases of every individual person, whereby the quantity in letting of Blood may be exactly proportioned according to the Disease or the strength of the Patient; but let this be left to the Judgement of the prudent Physician, let his Commands be ever exactly observed; and let not, as it every where is, such leave be given to Quacks, Empirics, and Barbers, to play with Humane Life, who every where rashly and wickedly use Phlebotomy; and if the Blood spring more freely, and appear discoloured, therefore bragging of the Vessel's being well pierced, they say it must be let out more plentifully, because it appears bad, when oftentimes on the contrary it ought to be spared.  
I would not be thought so much affected with the Chymist's Principles, as absolutely to condemn Phlebotomy, for such a Remedy as will prove at all times of worse consequence than the Disease; neither can I cordially promote the too frequently unnecessary administration thereof; and therefore, as I am well satisfied that it is beyond dispute preservative in many affects, after other Preparatives, as in an Apoplexy, Lethargy, Carus, Megrim, Mania, on the occasion of Inflammations, as in the several species of an Angina or Quinsey, Peripneumony, Pleurisy, with other Feverish Ebullitions of the Blood; so I would not advise such as are about to undergo its extraction to conside in the mean Judgement of a Barber; but rather let them take Counsel of the worthy and able Physician, and if he approve thereof, let them rely on the performance of an expert Chirurgeon; for did not the ill success attending them in their puncturing of Tendons, and Arteries for Veins, with other almost as prejudicial, their intempestive and superfluous Venaesections: Did not this, I say, give us a demonstration of their Ignorance, yet notwithstanding there may be those among them, who know indifferently to penetrate those azure meandrous Channels of the Microcosm, yet are they little knowing the damage or disadvantages ensuing thereon. This was the ill fortune of a young Gentlewoman at St. I—, who being already inclining to a Chachexy, at the instant of labouring under a periodical Evacuation of the Menses, was seized (as is usual to some at those times) with a great Pain in her Head, Back, and Hypochondria. Her impatience till the Uterine Ferment should have secreted those monthly Superfluities, put her upon ask Advice of a Physician, who order▪ d forthwith, that she should be blooded in the Foot; and for this purpose there was sent for a noted Barber near at hand, who not daring to venture on the Saphena, or any of its Branches, notwithstanding she had informed him on what account it was so ordered: He confidently told her, it would be equally beneficial if she were blooded in the Arm; and thereupon overperswading the unhappy Maiden, he drew from her to the quantity of 12 ounces of Blood, but with so mischievous a consequence, that hereupon there followed a total suppression of the Flux, and the noxious Particles which were them critically to have been discharged by the Womb, regurgitating into the mass of Blood, brought on several hysterick Paroxysms, with Syncope's and continued faintings; from which (being almost wearied of her Life) she was in three week's time rescued by the Prescriptions of the Physician she had before consulted.  
Thus you see the Practice of such a one, who right or wrong, rather than hazard the loss of his Fee, will perpetrate the greatest Wickedness, and seldom fail of bringing those who are concerned with him into jeopardy of their Lives.  
I remember, some years since, I breathed a Vein for a poor Woman just then come from a Barber in S—, who had been attempting it in the following manner.  
The Woman was very corpulent, her Limbs of the largest size, and withal so very fat, that her Veins were neither visible, nor indeed (by what I perceived) at all perceptible to the Touch in her right Arm, where he had been trying; and telling her it was never customary to bleed in the left, he was the more eager to make a trial of his Skill; whereupon once more laying his Fingers on her Arm, and finding no other part that was so tense, and perhaps to his apprehension turgid, as the Tendon of the Biceps, after some little pause, gave his opinion, That this was certainly the Vein, but it lay so very deep, as made him fearful he should not pierce it. The Woman being herewith dissatisfied, was about to leave him; and he, unwilling that another should go away with the Prize, overperswades her, with some difficulty, to admit a trial of his Abilities: Upon this he boldly plunges in his Weapon, and had not a miraculous Providence intervened, had undoubtedly made such a breach in the Tendon of the said Muscle, as had been most certainly past his Skill (not improbably that of any other) to have repaired, without hazarding the loss of her Limb, if not her Life.  
Surely the most ignorant person could not have been guilty of greater Simplicity, with respect to the Office of a Chirurgeon, than this arrogant Intruder on the foresaid Duty, who with the rest of his Brethren Quacks, Empirics, etc. ought no farther to be trusted with a Lancet, than a Lunatic with any Weapon whereby he may either mischief himself or others.  
I do imagine, that this Woman's fortunate deliverance was effected by her own fearfulness, she (not unlikely) withdrawing, or some how altering the position of her Arm, in the time of his incision, whereby the foresaid Tendon slipping from him, most happily miss the Point of his Piercer.  
Indeed, suchlike commissions, or the sufferance of so odious and abominable actions, must not altogether be imputed to the free choice or delight of the People, who are daily injured thereby, because not knowing the danger of a wounded Tendon, neither what a Tendon is, or the difference between an Artery and a Vein, they are easily induced to make use of the next Barber they come to, and are content so long as he can any ways fetch the Blood out of their Bodies, that he also ease them of the weight of their Purses. But I think we have just reason severely to reprehend and censure the Presumption of such men as are so wonderful ambitious to be reputed for Surgeons, when they neither are so, nor aught to practise in that worthy Art; and who, notwithstanding they know themselves to be Intruders, that the best of them is incapacitated to perform the part of an Artist, will nevertheless dare to intermeddle for the hope of Gain, making their Shops so many Slaughter-houses, and detestably exposing Humane Blood on their Windows and Benches, to invite the unwary Passenger to partake of their bloody Banquets.  
It is not often known, that the loss of Blood is not advised in almost every Distemper of the Body by these Men, out of the sordid desire of Gain per fas nefasque.  
This truly, with his undertaking to make an Issue, are the chief and main points of Surgery that this pretending Barber could ever arrive at; not but that there are some of them too forward to encounter with more difficult cases.  
Having however shown you his dexterity in Venaesection, or opening a Vein, I will here take the opportunity of diverting you with a short view of his Performance in cutting of an Issue, which is likewise a Practice so frequently now-adays in use, that rarely Man, Woman, or Child, nay, Infants themselves, but what (as the 'fore mentioned Doctor saith) must have their Skins pricked full of Islet-holes: and did not the advantageous event attending this Operation sufficiently countenance the continuance thereof, we might have grounds to censure what is amongst all at present in so great request.  
I would be understood, that a Fontanel or Issue made upon good advice, by the hand of a knowing Artist, is a very preservative, and oftentimes curative, Remedy in a multitude of Infirmities that are wont to infest us; otherwise I have and do daily find, that they are most commonly painful, perverse, and attended with many Inconveniencies as well as Prejudice to the Health. Such generally are those which are attempted by a Barber, who not knowing how or in what part they are most commodiously instituted, thinks it sufficient that he can make a Solution of Continuity, or a hole in the Skin which will hold a Pea, not heeding the appropinquating Result, which is very commonly the sending for a Surgeon, to afford the Patiented a little ease in the extremity of his pain, arising from the inartificial making this little Ulcer upon the body of some Muscular part, where it would have been continued with the most intolerable vexation, and no small danger to the welfare of the Limb.  
Thus I have known some Pounds deservedly bestowed on an eminent Chirurgeon, for his trouble in resisting the severe Accidents of an Issue, which hath been a product of the Proceed of this bold Undertaker.  
Both Reason and Experience dictate, that if an Issue be not made as near as it is possible in the Interstice of the Muscles, or the space between two fleshy parts, it is generally kept open with so great trouble and perplexity to the Patient, that the inconsiderable benefit of its discharge is in no measure equivalent to the great Mischief and Misery that accrues therefrom.  
Now the People, as I hinted before, not knowing this distinction between Art and its Opposite, or the legal Chirurgeon and the Person we are speaking of, are as ready to comply with the one as tother, to be blooded, or to have an Issue made, not minding the sometimes-fatal Prejudice by the hazard of the former, and as little imagining that there is any peculiar distinct part of the Body, whereof these men are ignorant as themselves, and wherein only the Operation is to be performed.  
The ridiculous Practice of this nature, which I have seen such as have assumed the Title of Surgeons guilty of, would make one really stand amazed at their profound Ignorance, and admire by what means they keep up their Repute and Credit with such as are more stupid than themselves, and will not take warning by the Fate of others, till a Self-tryal, conjoined with a too late Experience and Repentance, make them sensible of their Error.  
It is truly a difficult matter to find one Issue in One and twenty in a convenient or proper place, or that can be long continued without manifest detriment to the Safety of such a person as hath employed therein a Barber, or a Petticoat Practitioner. Some I have seen come from them with an Issue made on the body of the Bicep's Muscle in the Arm; others on the Brachialis Externus; some on the outside of the Deltoides; and one that I was advised about, with the most intolerable pain threatening a Gangreen, made not a Finger's breadth from the Tendon of the Biceps, in the bent of the Cubit. In the Thigh I have found them directly on the musculous part of the Vastus Internus, others on the same in the Rectus. In the Leg they have been made on the middle of the Gastroecnemius, where every extension thereof, besides other Accidents, was subject to throw out the Pea.  
There is, I am certain, no occasion to enlarge farther hereon, since the Truth is so obvious to every judicious person, that I dare assure myself there are not many of the same Profession, who have not made suchlike Remarks in the Variety of their Chyrurgick Occurrences; so that in these two Particulars, and indeed in the general practice of Chirurgery, we have abundant cause to account this Person an unallowable Undertaker, considering that some of the most noted amongst them have all-along, and do still discover to us as much ignorance as is taken notice of in any other the most insufferable Intruder.  
What gross and most ridiculous Actions do we find committed in the Examples of such bold Encroachers on our Art, which are delivered to us by a multitude of worthy Authors, particularly in the Observations of Mr. Wiseman, who hath in several places given us very necessary hints of the extreme injury the People receive from the toleration of Barbers in the Practice of Chirurgery.  
I shall here transcribe one more remarkable than some others, from his Observations upon Wounds of the Head, where he tells us, that  A young fellow, who was Servant to a Horse-courser, was thrown off his Horse against some of the Barrs in Smithfield, whereby the Calvaria or hairy Scalp was torn up from the Coronal Suture to the Temporal Muscle on the left side; the Skull was bared about two or three inches in breadth: He was led to the next Barber, who cut the piece off, and hanged it up in his Shop. The day after the Patient was brought to me; I caused the Hair to be shaved off from about the Wound, and dressed the Bone and Lips with Linimentum Arcei warm, and embrocated the parts about cum Ol. Rosarum and Chamomeli, and applied Emplastrum Ebolo over the Wound, with Compres and Bandage rolling up his Head. He had been let Blood the the day before, without consideration of the great quantity he had lost from his Wound: I continued the former way of dressing, etc. Thus (saith he) it was cured as Wounds with loss of substance, a troublesome and vexatious work to the Patient and Chirurgeon, which might at first have been cured by Agglutination, with a less Cicatrix, and thereby he might have enjoyed the natural tegument of his Hair, whereas that part remained bald and unseemly. 
Were it absolutely requisite for a fuller satisfaction, I could from my own Remarks on these men's Practice, acquaint you with divers cases tending to evince the weakness of their Judgements. 'Tis but a very little while from the writing hereof, that one of them happening to puncture a Tendon in the Foot of a Maidservant, would have solved the business by upbraiding the Artist, who was afterwards employed, for that he, by his improper applications, had hastened those dangerous and important Symptoms.  
I remember Mr. Young of Plymouth gives us an account of a business of the like nature, though more troublesome, occasioned from such a person's puncturing of the Bicep's Tendon in the Arm of a Woman, an Inhabitant thereabouts. This fellow (having no better Subterfuge) went about to justify his Proceeding, strenuously affirming and assuring the Patient, that these Accidents were no other than usual Symptoms frequently attending a disordered Body, abounding with evil Humours.  
If the Reader think it worth his while to peruse the said Author's Treatise of Ol. Terebinth. he may be farther informed with how great trouble, the pertinacious Symptoms of this Puncture were overcome, and at length an indifferent use of the Arm restored.  
Surely if these Events were no more than usual Consequences of Venaesection, (as the Pretender intimates) I am apt to think we should not find such great numbers of People thus willing to be blooded on every slight occasion.  
I may truly say, it is the much to be lamented sufferance or toleration of such Knaveries hath been one great cause that we meet with so many obstinate and oftentimes incurable Distempers. Indeed, the first Surgeon sought for amongst the meaner sort of People, when an Accident befalls them, is commonly no other than a Barber, who when he hath shown his Skill by the most contrary administrations, and marred instead of mended the business, they are then at liberty to refer themselves to the true practical Chirurgeon, whose demands of a reasonable Gratuity for his officious care and diligence in performing the Cure, is not seldom requited with the opprobrious Language of Unconscionable; because, forsooth, that such a Barber (who to gain Experience at the cost of their Lives, will run a mile or two to purchase Porter's Hire) would have dressed them so long for little or nothing.  
What great pity is it, that the Sons of Art should be vilified and disesteemed for their not complying with the base and sordid Principles of such men, who have already so far disgraced and undervalved this most noble Art, that in time it may (not unlikely) be forced to stand in competition with the meanest and most contemptible mechanic Occupation.  
Were not the Art itself as far above the reach of his Capacity, as it is from being a legal appertenance to his Calling, we could expect no other, but that it would be held the meanest and most despicable of all others, not only for the multitude of such Pretenders thereunto, but also for that the successless Events of their Chyrurgick Undertake, are by too many, undeservedly imputed to some Knavery in the Art itself; they hence inferring, that the Profession, at best, is no more than Pretence or Contrivance to delude the People, and deceive them of their Money: And indeed, how can we expect less, than that the best of Arts should partake of such a distressed Fate, when so great a liberty is allowed the most Ignominious to practise without molestation.  
When we consider the great and most perplexing difficulties that we are oftentimes obliged to encounter, the many intricate and hazardous Undertake that we meet with, where the Lives of our fellow-Christians lie at stake; did we seriously and impartially reflect on this, we should imagine it to be no such easy Task for the most diligent in our Art to attain Perfection; much less might we expect an Artificial Performance from any Ignorant Professor. Did we farther consider all Circumstances attending some People's Complaints against us, I as little question but we should find Surgeons are not the men some ignorant and malicious Spirits have endeavoured to represent them. How rash a Censure is that of their being unconcionable (one of the great Objections) because they endeavour to set a small value on that most noble Art, which can never be too highly esteemed.  
Is it not Ingratitude, that the worthy Artist should be requited with Revile for his care in the performance of a Cure, the reasonably demanded Recompense for which is thought a Crime, because it hath already cost the Patient so much Money under the hands of several false Practitioners? If such a ta●t'ling Doctress hath filched so much, such a Practising Barber as much more, and such a pretending Bonesetter as much as both, yet still the Patient is left in a condition much worse than before; is it not unjust, that the Chirurgeon, who is last consulted, when he hath diligently recovered and restored them to their Health, should be so meanly looked on, or so evilly rewarded?  
I remember where a late Upstart Pretender was entertained by a Gentlewoman, in order to treat a Scrofulous Tumour on her Son's Knee, when for Two Years attendance he demanded but Forty shillings, he was thereupon thought a very honest and able Artist, till it was made apparent to the Patient's Friends, that they had better have given him as many Pounds never to have undertaken it.  
When the good Gentlewoman perceived no likelihood of her Son's recovery, she thought fit to dismiss the Undertaker, who, as a Mark of his Judgement, left behind him this Prognostic, That if they waited till Time or some casual application should put the Swelling on Apostemating, there would then be no question of a probability for cure.  
In some months afterwards the Wish of their presaging Chirurgeon was accomplished, but so fatally to the Patient, that soon after the discharge of an indigested wheyish matter, and sometimes a slimy viscous Pus, there ensued an inveterate Synovia, accompanied with a most foetid Stench, proceeding from the parts affected, and undoubtedly arguing a Cariosity; the Ligaments were corrupt, and the Joint so lose, that the Apophyses or Extremities of the Bones at length showed themselves in the Absces, as perfectly separated as in a dislocation.  
This Gentleman was truly the most miserable Spectacle under suchlike Circumstances that I have seen, and so far from hopes or a possibility of cure, (without Amputation, which he would not admit) that when he had languished many months, he painfully resigned his Breath.  
I was the rather guilty of this prolixity, since the Example seems to afford us as pregnant a demonstration as we need desire, of the Abuses committed by unskilful People in their Chyrurgick Administrations: for, first of all, when the Patient had got an Accident of a contused Wound, he was committed to the care of one who went by the name of a Barber-Surgeon, where when he had suffered considerably through Ignorance, to rectify the Mistake, he referred himself to a most incomparable Doctress, who was Mistress of a famous Pultiss, to work Miracles: Under her hands the Tumour was rendered schirrous, and the Joint immovable. When there was an unlikelihood of recovery perceived here, being still misguided and flattered by fair Promises, he unhappily submitted himself to the management of another Pretender, and finally died under the too late care of an eminent and approved Chirurgeon, whose Advice, or that of any judicious Practitioner, if he had first been governed by, I think it is not to be imagined that so slight a Contusion, in the worst habit of Body, should ever have arrived to so incurable a Malady.  
Whilst I was writing these Observations, I was diverted for some little time, being called upon to let one Blood, who took occasion in Discourse to tell me, That he had never been blooded more than once before, and that was by reason of a Wound he had received into his Body, which, he said, had like to have cost him his Life; hereupon his Mother, being by, immediately slipped back his Shirt, and showed it me: I asked him who had been his Surgeon; he replied, One Mr.—, a very able man in C— street: I told him, 'twas like the Workmanship of such an Intruder on our Art; Truly, answered the good Woman, we have great cause to respect him, since he saved my Son's Life; for he told us when we came to him first, that the Wound was but an Hairs breadth from his Heart; and that had it been a little larger, his Bowels would have fallen out: yet notwithstanding this imminent danger, her Son had been recovered in about three week's time.  
Thus the Case had been represented, the most notoriously false that could be, and therefore to solve the Doubts of the surmising Reader, I shall impart the Truth in all its Circumstances, that we may see how easily the People are imposed on, and take all for granted that is put upon them by deceitful Men.  
The Wound was a Puncture, occasioned by a Fall against an Iron Spike, superficially entering the Cutis and Carnous Membrane, and stopping, without hurt to the Sternon, a hand's breadth or more above the Ensiform Cartilege. This insignificant business, which would (not unlikely) have admitted of a Cure by the first intention, and perfectly healed in two or three days time by the application of Agglutinatives, was tented so long, and afterwards ignorantly dressed up with some slabby Sarcotick Unguent, till an Hypersarcosis thrust forth as large as a Small Nut, which the Operator not knowing what to do with, or what it was, however thought it necessary to alter his Medicine, and by chance, most probably dressing it with some powerful Epulotick, at length produced a Cicatrix thereon, leaving the same deformed, as if there had been a Ganglion or Wenny Substance.  
Can any man have played the Knave and Ignorant in a greater measure than this Pseudo-Chyrurgus? First, his keeping open a not penetrating Puncture; secondly, his suffering a Fungus to thrust forth; and thirdly, his not correcting the same, but cicatrising on the Excrescence, doth as evidently declare the weakness of his Judgement as his unbecoming Arrogance; the former, in so irrationally treating an inconsiderable Puncture; and the latter, for his ascribing so much of Art and Industry, where there was nothing more visible than the greatest want of Honesty and Discretion.  
I cannot choose but reflect moreover on the Patient's Weakness, who could so easily believe that a Protuberance on the Breastbone, was occasioned from some of his Bowels pressing forwards to get out.  
We have really (considering the over-credulity of the People in Chyrurgick matters) great cause to bewail the neglect of the Civil Magistrate and all other Powers therein concerned, who are so little careful to suppress Pretenders, and to take notice after what manner Men are qualified for the public profession of the Art of Surgery. I am satisfied that the enterprizing such a Task as this would be extremely commodious, and the Reasons for such an Undertaking are, I think, as extraordinary weighty, if it were but on consideration of those evil and dangerous consequences continually resulting from the toleration of illegal Practitioners; a fatal Instance whereof you may find from the subsequent account.  
A Youth aged about Fifteen years, labouring of a malignant Fever, when by a Metastasis or critical translation, the peccant matter was thrown forth of the bloody mass it produced an Erysipelas, spreading itself on the right Arm, from the Cubitus or Elbow to the top of the Os Humeri, upon which the Patient began his complaint of a violent and intense heat affecting his whole Arm; in order to the removal whereof, it was thought necessary by his Friends to send for a Barber-Surgeon of their acquaintance, who coming to take a view of the case, told the young man, that he had got a St. Anthony's Fire, but he would send him something that should kill it before the next morning. Whereupon, without making any manner of Revulsion, or otherways preparing of his Body, he immediately order an expressed Juice (supposed to be that of House-leek) in which the Patient was to dip a folded Linen Cloth, and bind the same upon his Arm. After some few repetitions of this Remedy, the heat was indeed abated, and the Inflammation (before highly red) gradually inclined towards a livid complexion. But now the Youth's Complaint was, of an extraordinary Stupor or Numbness possessing the whole Arm, as if somewhat had been strictly tied about the same. He was moreover hence disturbed with a Subsultus Tendinum, or light Convulsive twitches, now and then infesting, and plainly arguing the danger which ensued; upon which the Barber was again consulted, who thinking it time to lay aside his first application, instead thereof, prescribes an Embrocation of Unguentum de Althaea, by the use whereof the Patient receiving nothing of advantage, but finding himself much worse, and wholly deprived the use of his Arm, for farther satisfaction, a more eminent Practitioner was called in, who found a confirmed Necrosis, or Mortification, which had already seized the whole Arm, spreading itself forwards over the Clavicle and Pectoral Muscle, and reaching backwards the whole compass of the Scapula. The sphacelated Member was however immediately taken off, but to little purpose, the mortification still increasing and opposing the most powerful Endeavours, soon obliged the Patient to a surrender, and accept of a Quietus.  
I hope this may Warn a practising Barber, how he intermeddles in Chirurgery (quite out of his Element) to the loss of his Credit and Reputation, and oftentimes to the irreparable danger of the Patient; as in the foregoing case.  
We may, I think, imagine it one of the worst of Sins, thus shamefully to trifle with the concerns of Humane Life; and doubtless, according to the impartial method of Divine Justice, the Miscarriages of those poor Creatures, who have thus miserably suffered through wilful Ignorance, calls aloud for vengeance on the Heads of such as have in the manner here described, been accessary thereto. What a burden must there lie upon his Conscience, who by an unjust pretence of a Call to the Practice, will intermeddle in another's business (notwithstanding the knowledge of his inability to perform what is required) till by such his unwarrantable actions he hath brought the Patient into the most miserable state imaginable?  
I think I shall not need (though I am farther furnished) to make other Reflections, since those already mentioned may abundantly satisfy an inquisitive Person, with how little Reason the Barber boasts himself a Surgeon, and with how great detriment to the People his Chyrurgick Undertake are countenanced without interruption.   

SECT. iv  
THAT the Chyrurgick Art hath been yet farther misrepresented, and its legal Professors by many People rendered ignominious, we are not a little obliged to the sordid and base Practices of those men, who affect to be known by the peculiar name of Bonesetters; as if because they particularly apply themselves to that only part of Chirurgery, they would be the more esteemed, or for such their Pretences thought more famous and successful than other Men.  
The Fame of an Experienced Bonesetter sounds so great in the Ears of a Vulgar Apprehension, that thinking the reduction of a fractured or broken Limb, or the reposition of a Bone dislocated, to its place, more properly his Employment, they wholly neglect consulting with the more eminent Chirurgeon herein, as believing it no appurtenance to his Profession.  
Why the Legal Practitioner should be excluded from this so considerable a part of his Duty, is somewhat strange, and much more so (in my opinion) that the particular Undertakers hereof should be more than ordinarily confided in, or so wonderfully sought unto.  
If we make a scrutinous enquiry into the Practice of these men, I am satisfied we shall find, that they have not been wanting by their unworthy proceed to bring as great Contempt upon us as any of the rest: And this, in a great measure, hath been brought to pass by their detestable as well as impious Principles of constantly asserting for an undeniable Truth, That almost all Accidents that happen where they are required to lend their assistance, are no less than Fractures, or undoubted Dislocations.  
If your Arm be so weakened, as that you have not the complete and perfect motions, by a Contusion, overlifting or reaching, by which the Ligaments and Tendons of the Muscles may be extended beyond their natural tone; if you seek Redress herein of one who calls himself a Bonesetter, you are presently informed with the sorrowful tidings, That your Limb is out of Joint. If by slipping of your Foot aside, or treading the same awry, you are disabled for the present to walk without some pain, you will (if you refer yourself to him) be sure to find a broken Leg, or an Ankle out of its proper place.  
It is no difficult matter for any confident Undertaker, to persuade Men (of a large capacity in other respects) that when they come under the restraint of a Cubicular Confinement, by any outward Mischance, it is for no smaller matter than a broken or disjointed Member; out of which seeming considerable Misfortune, when (by the most immethodical course taken) they have the good hap to be recovered, the operating Bonesetter is then applauded for a Skilful Person, and certainly very Honest, because he tried no Practice with them, neither kept them so long in hand as is usual with Surgeons.  
This is too commonly a Practice made use of by these Bonesetters, to deceive the Ignorant; and we have the less reason to admire that the Knavery is not detected, when we consider how little difficult it is for him who can thus stifle the Dictates of his Conscience, to delude the Unwary, and impose upon their Judgements.  
I have oftentimes found, when called to such as by the occasion of a Blow or Fall have been incapacitated for the wont motion of their Limbs, they have been ready enough to imagine them either fractured or out of Joint. Nay, I have farther met with some of so peevishly indiscreet a Temper, that when they had litt on a Disaster proving troublesome, beyond their own imagination of the Cause, would tax the Artist of want of Judgement, if unwilling to treat them (though merely fictitious) as really broken or dislocated Members.  
This was the case of a Victualler not far from B— street, who by a fall down Stairs had received a Contusion on his Ribs, forwards to the Breastbone, for which he was let Blood, and rationally treated by an expert Practitioner, with hopes of speedy recovery. The night ensuing, from the abortive tattle of some ignorant Old Woman, he was importuned, and at length prevailed on to send again for his Chirurgeon; who hastening, found him lamenting his Misfortune, being redoubled from his Wive's Complaint, and pitifully condoling his case, in being neglected, for so much as he was now fully assured, that his Ribs were broken.  
Hereupon, for his farther satisfaction, he was again strictly researched, and his indisposition more diligently enquired into; although nothing could give conjecture or suspicion of a Fracture: yet however, the discontented Patient would by no means rest satisfied till the Surgeon (contrary to his own honest intentions) had favoured him in his opinion, that there might be a broken Rib, and by Compress and Bandage dressed him up again: for his farther Security Venaesection was repeated, and a Traumatick decoction, with a Pectoral Linctus were prescribed; but from the second day that he was bound up, he grew well of his Conceit, and soon after went about his Affairs.  
By this we may be acquainted where a Man is minded to act a Knavish Part, how courteously his Abuses are entertained by ignorant People; and indeed, if such a Practice as this be at all tolerable, it must be allowed in such a case, where the Patient proves obstinate to the Advice of his Chirurgeon, being resolved to pay for his own Folly, in augmenting the value of an inconsiderable Cure.  
Indeed, it is abundant pity that a free and entire submission or condescension in the Patient to his Surgeon's Honesty, should be so evilly requited as it is by too many of these only Titular Bonesetters, who are certainly some of the vilest, for their treacherous Practices on the People, of all other the spurious Pretenders to this worthy Art.  
It's not unlikely to be objected, That I am too severe in my Censure of these men, who without question, in the diversity of Casualties happening in their way, must certainly at some times meet with real Fractures and Dislocations, and if then they were deficient in Judgement to manage one as well as the other, doubtless they would be decried for the most notorious Cheats, and wholly unable to keep up their Repute.  
To this I reply, That as I doubt not but there are many Mischances of this nature, which in reality sometimes present with other Business to their Care, so I shall require no other (neither desire any better) Proof of their Indiscretion or want of Knowledge artificially to administer Relief; than to supervise their Proceed with any Patient under such an Affliction.  
Were I to give my Opinion, I must acknowledge, that I look upon that person's case to be very dangerous, if not desperate, who in order to his Cure hath applied himself to such an one as we are at present discoursing of; and my Reasons that he hath been still enabled in some measure to preserve his Credit with the World, are these: first of all, his slight and careless looking after a simple Strain or Contusion, after a pull and hawl or two, affirming, That it was a Fracture or Dislocation, and is now set to rights. The speedy Success, I say, attending suchlike Operations, is one great cause that he hath been so wonderfully esteemed by the beguiled, who can well enough wink at some few Failings now and then intervening. Furthermore, his Disappointments of this nature, if they are not more numerous than his successful Erterprises, are looked on by the Deluded to proceed from Causes extraordinary: or, where the case hath been so full of danger (though no more than a simple Fracture) that the Patient, in all likelihood, must have miscarried under any other the most able hand.  
That the matter in debate will bear a Reflection of this nature, I shall now endeavour to demonstrate; and I think we may prove from Experience, that upon the reduction of a Bone, which hath been displaced through a considerable force, whereby a defluxion is excited, and the part (till such Accidents which ensue, removed) rendered unapt for motion. I say, that notwithstanding the said Bone hath been safely reduced, it is a very unlikely thing that the late suffering Member should so suddenly recover its wont strength, or that it ought to be permitted so speedily to exercise its usual functions. I am very well assured, that if the business were positively so, as it is too often represented, notwithstanding the Patient's Endeavour to exert the utmost of his Strength, he would find to his sorrow, an inability, and that he was, for very great cause, debarred the privilege of so hasty a Recovery.  
I know it is a usual thing with many of these men, when they have persuaded the Patient that his Limb was luxated, but is now certainly, by their diligence and care, replaced, to permit him presently to go about his business, without binding, keeping up, or any ways to favour the Limb so lately out of Joint; neither is he to regard the wearing of more than one Cerecloth (as they call it) and the use of a Five-shilling Pot of their infallible Ointment, to finish the work.  
There are many persons have thought much to be rationally treated and kept under a necessary confinement for suchlike Accidents, because they have received information from their Neighbours, that far greater matters have been made light of under the care of a skilful Bonesetter.  
When I was visiting a poor man in S—, for whom I had reduced a fractured Clavicle, it was thought a very dishonest Principle in me, because I forewarned him of using his lame Arm, or putting it on its wont actions in almost three week's time. I was much censured by his Sister, who stood by, and took upon her, from her own knowledge, to assure me, that Bonesetters were not so strict, yet much more successful: To confirm this, she told me a Story (I think it may be so thought) of her Husband, who had been some time before cured by Mr. T— in a very little time; but what was most admirable, this man, on the same Limb, had his Coller-bone broken in three places, his Shoulder put out of Joint, the two Bones below the Cubit, viz. the Radius and Ulna, were also fractured, and several of his Fingers wonderfully bruised by a violent force; yet notwithstanding all this, by the application of a sovereign Pultiss, her Husband was completely well in little more than a fortnight's time, although he could then, with much ease, raise an hundred weight a great height from the Ground with his broken Arm.  
Where is there such an execrable piece of Impudence to be paralleled, that dare thus impiously contemn the divine Mandates, and profane even the Authority of Heaven itself?  
It is the injurious Practice of these knavish Undertakers makes many Persons so unwilling to submit to a just and reasonable government of themselves under suchlike Calamities; and it has been, I am certain, the ruin of some Thousands, who have been so imposed on, still running from one to another, without redress of their Grievances, till at length (having undergone the greatest Misery) they have rendered themselves unpitied, and their Infirmities irrecoverable.  
I question not but you have heard the Fame of some Country Plow-jobbers, who are so dextrous at the knack of Bone-setting, that where a poor man hath been brought to them ten or twenty miles, with his Knee or Ankle out of place, it hath been presently set for Two shillings or Half a crown, when dressing him up with a famous Plaster of Paracelsus or Barbadoes-Tarr, he is presently ordered to put forth his strength, and (if he can) to walk home, whereby, he is told, he may disperse and scatter those naughty Humours which would fall thereon.  
'Tis such a like Rumour as this, that hath deceived many, and some of them of good repute, who being blinded in their Judgements, have forsaken the most eminent Professors here in Town, and conveyed themselves twenty or thirty miles, to some noted Bonesetter, where when their Self-experience prompts them to a Repentance of their Folly in suffering themselves to be deluded, they have returned in a much worse condition than they went: and I think it is the less severe, that incredulous men learn by their own Misfortunes to beware for the time to come. It is an ancient Saying, Exemplo alterius, etc.— but truly, for the most part, another's Miseries will not caution us, that we fall not on the same, who are seldom so throughly satisfied, unless we taste of them ourselves.  
Is it not a very great Argument of a frail Capacity, for us to think, that a Limb, by a very considerable force displaced, and oftentimes as great a one used to restore it, whereby an unavoidable fluxion is stirred up, which produceth Pain, Tumour, and sometimes Inflammation, attended with an Ecchymosis, or Sugillation of the Blood, oftentimes stagnating in the capillary Vessels and Interstices of the Muscles, if nothing worse occur? How unlikely, I say, is it that such a suffering Member as this should (till such Accidents are overcome) be safely permitted the liberty of its accustomed Use?  
I would not be thought hereby to lay down such a Rule as should admit of no exception, for that I know where a light and trivial Accident hath concurred to the production of a Dislocation, in a Member predisposed thereto, by a relaxation of the Ligaments or otherways, the danger is not so great, and the Patient (if minded to hazard a Reluxation) sooner capacitated for its use, upon a restitution: but where the case happens otherwise, I am well satisfied, that the reposition of such a Dislocation, and removing it's sometimes severe Attendants, is a work of much greater moment and concern, than we are tempted by the Stories of unlearned men to imagine.  
Hence we would infer this kind of Bonesetter to be a deceitful person, as abusive as dangerous, and a very mischievous Intruder on the Profession of our Art.  
That he is such as represented in this present Section, will want no other Proof than his constant Endeavours to possess People with a Belief of his Abilities for the Practice; and when they get the least mischance (whereby for the present they are in some measure disabled) his pretending by a feigned extension, and other juggling contrivances, to reduce what before he (falsely) affirmed to be a Dislocation.  
Thus I have heard of one of them, who when he came to a Patient, and had busied himself some time in an Extension of the Limb, at length cunningly turning off his Head near the part supposed for reduction, would make such an artificial noise by the grating of his Teeth, that the bystanders, and the Patient himself, were forward enough almost to swear they heard the disjointed Bone (which was never out) knap into its place.  
Let us take but a Survey of those Accidents which prove Luxations, and have been managed by the most famous Bonesetter, I am certain we shall find him more ignorant and dangerously robustick, more irrational, immethodical, unsafe, and far more tedious than a Surgeon's Servant of but two years' experience.  
How many stiff and curved Members, what numbers of useless emaciated Legs and Arms proceeding from Dislocations, which have been affirmed (but were never) set, may we find at this day in London, being Fruits of the Undertake of some presumptuous Bonesetter. And shall we still be so misguided in our Opinion, as to slight the Labours of the faithful Artist, whilst we confide in the Promise of one whom we account more worthy, only because he takes upon him no other business than the reducing of broken or disjointed Members.  
Having thus far hinted to you his Deal, with reference to what he calls a Dislocation, I shall trouble you with a short account of his Behaviour where he meets with a fractured Limb, at least where he takes upon him, right or wrong, so to affirm it; and these two, viz. a division or disjunction in the continuity of a Bone, called a Fracture, and a distortion of the Head thereof from its Acetabulum, named commonly a Bone out of joint, are the principal or sole parts of his Employment.  
His treating the former of these, is but little different, or varies not much from the method which he takes in looking after the other. 'Tis true, for the most part he reap more Profit and Repute from the one, inasmuch as a broken Limb is generally looked on of greater moment, and the cure thereof more valuable than that of a Dislocation: so that where a Contusion on the Muscles, or a sudden wrench of their Tendons, passes under the denomination of a Fracture, and the Patient in a short time (as well he may) recover, you must conceive his Skill is then more highly extolled, and his Pay advanced.  
But after all, if to discover the real Truth, we may be so inquisitive as to trace him where he hath been concerned indeed, either with a broken or displaced Member, and make our observations on the course of his Proceed, we shall find him, I doubt not, so far short of the Knowledge required in that difficult part of our Art, that it will be the least of Crimes to account him unworthy of his assumed Title, in comparison with the more able and experienced Chirurgeon.  
His Anatomical Judgement, that absolutely necessary Basis for this administration, is so very inconsiderable, that I have known some of them justly reprehended for their ridiculous Talk, by an indifferently well read Mechanic.  
Comparing Man with other Animals, he presently concludes, that he also hath Bones in his Body; and therefore when the People get any hurt, there must forsooth presently happen a Fracture or Dislocation in one or other of them, which is nearest to the part complained on by the Patient: But if you raise an Argument (although no Critic) you find him no man for Discourse, unless you can bear the Burden of his Nonsense.  
Ask him how differently Bones are conjoined, which of them by Articulation, and which by Symphisis; the distinction between Diarthrosis and Synarthrosis; the several ways of their connexion under these two Heads; ask him which he calls Enarthrosis, Arthrodia, and what Ginglymus; inquire by how many several manners Bones are joined by Symphisis; what he means by Sutura, Harmonia, Gomphosis; or what he understands by Synchondrosis, Synneurosis, Syssarcosis, or Syntenosis; I say, query but these things of this wonderful Operator, and (notwithstanding we must own them to be requisite appurtenances to the Study of the Art, in which no one can be unskilled, if complete in the Practice of Bone-setting) you shall gain as satisfactory Answers, as if to an Infant you were discoursing in some unknown Language.  
How can it be supposed now that any one who is ignorant or unknowing after what manner, and by what means the several Bones of Humane Bodies are conjoined, should be in a capacity the easiest way, the safest and most commodious, or indeed by any way to repose them, when by a Misfortune they are slipped from their proper places; is it not farther more improbable, that such a person as perfectly knows not where the breach is made, whether any or not; if any, whether transverse, obliqne, etc. or how to resist the Accidents which will ensue, and afterwards kindly to assist Nature in the generation of a Callus, or, in short, what a Callus means; is it not, I say, a Presumption to imagine, that a desired Success should attend such an abuseful Intruder's Undertake?  
We find it, I am sure, a very rare Case, to see either Leg, or Arm which have been fractured, and the reduction thereof attempted by a pretending Bonesetter, (if they have escaped the tyranny of a Gangreen or Sphacelus, occasioned frequently from their immoderate bandage intercepting the Spirits, and retarding the circulation) without some or other indubitable mark of their Ignorance and Indiscretion, as a crooked Member from a common and simple Fracture, an ill-favoured if not painful Protuberance, which might often have been prevented by Art, but will now, to their no small prejudice, show they had a broken Limb all their life after.  
This was the ill hap of a poor man, at that time of L— W—, who in the morning having fractured both Foeils of his Leg, was carried to a famous Bonesetter at the other end of the Town, who ignorantly girt him up with half a dozen pieces of a Hoopstick laid over a single Cloth, which had been spread with a sort of Paste, next to the bare Leg, and fastened with many circumvolutions of a narrow Filleting; afterwards ordering the poor wretch to be carried home a mile and half, where he was as negligently laid into his Bed, without Pillow, Junks, Cradle, or other defence from the incumbent Bed .  
Having lain thus whilst the Evening, in extremity of Pain, his Friends out of pity requested a speedy Visit from a neighbouring Chirurgeon, who, with myself, coming to him, we found the Patient roaring after an hideous manner, and taking a view of the fractured Limb, could plainly perceive, above and below the Bandage, it was already vesicated, and tending to mortify from the Foot upwards.  
Having cut away, and otherways with much difficulty separated the , which had been daubed over with some very Emplastic Composition, we found the Splints, by a strict compression, had even buried themselves in the Flesh, and with abundance of pain and trouble could not be drawn away without excoriating the parts they lay upon.  
When we had thus cleared our way, (not having an Elixivium in readiness) we ordered some common Spirit of Wine to be set over the Fire, whilst we snipped off the Vesications, impleet with a livid Serum, and laid down the Leg upon a soft and easy Pillow, where it was fomented with a sufficient number of warm Stuphes, and at length with a suitable Rowler dressed him up leaving the Limb in as easy a position as we could contrive. We contented ourselves for this time with what had been done, not so much regarding the Fracture, till the more important danger of a mortification was taken off, which was in a few days afterwards, with all its threatening Symptoms removed, when taking a greater liberty in searching for the broken Bones, we perceived a part of the Tibia almost ready to protrude itself, lying prominent a little above the Maleolus Internus. But finding that every little motion was extremely painful, from the uneven superfice of the fractured Bones molesting and irritating the Nervous Fibres; and being terribly perplexed with the thoughts of a Re reduction, he declared positively his dissent therefrom, begging for God's sake that we would desist from troubling him, but lay down his Leg without Plaster or Bandage, where it lay easy to him; for since the danger of its being mortified was over, he was certain in himself that the former Undertaker had placed the Bones right, and that in a little time they would grow together.  
Hereupon (finding him so very wise) we left him to his own management, having first given him to understand what he must trust to, if he persisted to believe that his Bone was set: Thus we parted. Whether or no the Bonesetter was afterwards sent for, to be informed of his Work, I know not, but have lately seen the Patiented a mere emaciated Cripple, scarcely able to walk by the help of Crutches.  
I could give you an account of many more Examples of this Nature, where the Practice hath been of near affinity with this so lately mentioned, and the practising Pretender some famous Bonesetter.  
Indeed, a man shall rarely at this time peaceably and quietly discharge his Office without interruption; either we must be accounted unknowing in our Applications, because the Patient finds not presently his wont Ease; or negligent, because we will not, neither can with safety open their Limbs every day or two; or, last of all, dishonest, intending to make a Prize of them, by keeping them so long in hand. All this befalls us from their consideration that so many People so speedily recover under the care of Bonesetters: whereas I have told you, every simple Contusion being by these men represented as a Fracture or Dislocation, the Patient may as safely be permitted to follow his business at a week or ten days end, as we can suffer one, who hath in reality received such a Mischance, in a month or six week's time: and I think all such may be thankful to GOD and their Surgeon, that they escape so, especially if they consider how far worse it happens to some under suchlike circumstances, when taken in hand by these unjust Practitioners in our Art, as in the preceding History.  
Amidst the multitude of such as have most unworthily assumed the Character of Bonesetting, it were almost an inexcusable omission, should we forget to number the deceased T—, but since it would be a petty kind of Impiety to trample on the Ashes of the Dead, I shall forbear all Reflections of my own, yet cannot pass by a remarkable Case given us by a late Author, where this person had been concerned.  A Youth (saith he) of about Twelve years of age was seized with a Pain in his right Hip, it increasing with Tumefaction and great Lameness; the Parents suspecting it might be out of joint, sent for T — the Bonesetter, he declared it luxated, and pretended to set it, and dressed it up his way: The Child continuing lame, they sent for him again; he assured them that he had set it, and that in time the Child would recover strength in it, and be well: But the Child growing daily more pained, Surgeons were consulted, and at last myself; I saw the head of the Os Foemoris shot upwards, and a large Tumour possessing the Hip and parts about, under which there seemed to be lodged Matter; there was also a long white Swelling stretching down the forepart of the Thigh, from the Groin towards the Knee, within four Finger's breadth of it: the Tumour seemed to be full of Matter, and to derive itself from the Hip, and that the Luxation had been made by Fluxion, and increased by Extension. But however it was, the Bone was not capable of reduction, nor could I promise myself any Credit by my Endeavours there; yet I complied with his Parents, resolving to serve them as well as I could, but desired that the Bonesetter might be first fetched to see his Work, I not thinking it safe to meddle in the Cure whilst he insisted, that the Bone was reduced: They sent often for him, but he did not come, till I accidentally met him at a Person of Honour's Lodgings, and by Threaten brought him with me to the Child, where he acknowledged his Fault, and declared the Bone incapable of reduction; yet this fellow went directly back to that Person of Honour, and upon demand where he had been, declared, That he had been with me to set my Patient's Hip, and that he had reduced it. This fellow's scurvy using me almost discouraged me in the Undertaking, but after making a Presentation of it, I attempted the Cure, etc. 
By this account you may perceive the base shifts and evasions these men are put upon oftentimes to raise their Credit.  
I have seen great numbers of People, where I have been conversant, in reducing of Fractures and Dislocations, who when an opportunity hath presented, would very commonly affirm, That after a fortnight's time, when their Limbs as (they were told) were broken, and had been set together by the said T—, they were as fit for the most weighty and stirring business as before in their whole life-time: A matter as unlikely as impossible; for if we consider that the division of these solid parts is not conjoined by Agglutination, or immediate unition, as in Wounds upon a fleshy part, but by interposition of the nutritious Particles, falling off from the little mouths of the ruptured Vessels, and other the Pores in the divided medullary parts of the Bone itself, which at the space of so short a time will be no more confirmed than, like a Jelly or soft Wax, receiving any accidental impression, and for want of care, by a disorderly or irregular position, is the occasion of many crooked and deformed Members. This weighty Consideration doth infallibly and experimentally indicate, that where so early a liberty is given to move their Limbs, and no prejudice ensues from such a liberty, there was no Fracture or Solution of Continuity in the Bone.  
I have strictly examined and searched some few, who have been deluded by these Pretences, but could never find (nor was it likely that I should) any bearing out of a fractured Bone, or other perceptible demonstration of a Callus, which must of necessity intervene, and is the most certain and permanent indication thereof.  
I hope, by what has been said, there are sufficient Arguments given of the Ignorance of a Bonesetter: Indeed, the Name is a mere Bubble, or empty Title, wherewith unwary and imprudent People are ensnared, and oftentimes too dearly pay for their Experience.  
One would imagine, if this worthy Art were so easily attained as might be conjectured from the Presumption of these men, there would be little occasion for us to put ourselves to the charge of purchasing our Experience, under some eminent Practitioner, by a sedulous Study, and a tedious Service therein: nay, it might be not unreasonably thought, that we are fond of a Confinement, when we consider, that if a man have but confidence sufficient to avouch for himself, whether or no he be otherwise qualified, if he please hereupon, to take the Profession of a Surgeon upon him, he shall meet with the same welcome, and by many who have not tried his Abilities be accounted as worthy as the best of us all. For confirmation hereof I will deliver to you on my own knowledge a remarkable instance.  
A Weaver in B— street coming home in the Evening much in drink, there arose a difference between him and his Wife, which grew to such a height, that he could bethink himself of no other Revenge, at lest no better method, to avoid the Storm which was coming on him, than by hastening back again to his company, where he hoped to be at quiet. Hereupon going to the Door (which the good Woman had beforehand locked, resolving to keep him in) and finding himself unable to force his passage there, he fearlessly makes to the Window, and (although a Story high) leaps out thereat, but was received by the Ground with so unkind and rugged an embrace, as made him forcibly content to be carried up again a farther way than he came down, where by the help of his Neighbours, in great misery he was laid upon his Bed.  
Being immediately called in to officiate for my Master; upon enquiry, I found, that by his Fall he had fractured the Fibula or minor Focil of his Leg; there was already a large Tumour and Extravasation; the Fracture was made obliquely, and the lower end of the Bone protuberating a little above the Maleolus Externus; however, with a little assistance I reduced it, and with a small Compress and Defensative dressed him up, as usually in such cases, laying him in as easy a position as I could, and ordering his Wife in looking after him to keep him still and quiet.  
Thus I left him for that time, and returned the next morning, when I found my Patient very sensible of his condition, and hearty sorry for his Indiscretion; there were all things safe, and not the least Symptom attending more than commonly intervenes. He promised to be ruled, upon which I told him I did not question but when we came to open it, we should find all in good forwardness; and accordingly, on our first taking off the Dress, the Leg was straight, without inequality or bearing out of the fractured Bone. He rested well from the first night, and so continued.  
At the end of One and twenty days I took him out of Bed, and at the expiration of a month he set his Foot to the ground, from that time walking by the help of a Crutch, till a short time after that it was laid aside. And now the Tumour which fell upon his lame Leg, upon his first uprising seemed wholly to be discussed, whereupon taking the liberty to walk abroad, and falling to his wont course of drinking Brandy and strong Beer, he contracted so ill an habit of Body, that the Humours now abounding, for want of his accustomed labour, occasioned a new defluxion on the broken Leg, with a small inflammation, and a very troublesome Pruritus, which was certainly caused from his having been for some time kept up to a spare and moderate Diet, and now coming of a sudden to make use of a more strong and plentiful nourishment; upon this he made his Complaint to us; I told him the reason of it, and to prevent farther mischief, advised him to bleed and purge: he desired time to consider farther of it, and promised to return in two or three days; but however it happened, we heard no more of him till about five or six weeks afterwards, when going by his House, I took the opportunity of calling on him, and was presently welcomed by his Wife with the opprobrious Language of a dishonest and unskilful person; she told me, that I had ruined her Husband, and that his Leg was very near to have been cut off since I had seen him; that it was broken out all over; and farther, that she had taken the Advice of three several Surgeons, one of them being the King's general Surgeon, who told her, That these severe Symptoms were brought upon him by his broken Leg, which had never been well set.  
I was very attentive to the Woman's Discourse, and did at first imagine it to be a Fiction or plausible Story, invented with a design to keep off the Demand of Satisfaction for his Cure, till being better informed of the business by others, I began to admire extremely, that any Artist (especially the King's Surgeon) should be so void of Knowledge, as well as Honesty, to impute this defluxion of sharp Humour upon the Leg to an ill reduction of the Fracture, which had been set and united by a confirmed Callus, above a month before. I thought it very strange, that three such Practitioners as they were represented should be so far short of the Truth, and upon that account endeavoured all I could to inform myself who they were; the first of these, I came soon after to understand, was a Barber in the Neighbourhood, whose Frame of Blood-Porringers, and his Cloth sewed round with Teeth, were all that rendered him so eminent a Professor: the second who had been consulted was a practising Ap— in S— F—; this Person had forewarned the Patient, that he should not bleed, because the Wether was not warm enough; and for the same cause Purgation was interdicted. The last that had been advised with, I found to be an illegal, skulking, Sea Practitioner, who had wheedled himself into their good opinion, and by assuming the Epithet of a Regius-Professor, was looked upon as an Oracle, and his Promises already little short of Performance. They thought they could do no less than give this sworded Gentleman his Fee in hand for his Visit; after which the Doctor took an occasion to withdraw and show them his backside, for they could never after hear what became of him.  
These were the three famously qualified Operators, who had concurred in their Opinions, That the Bone was not rightly set, and that if they had not been consulted, the Leg must have been cut off.  
I have been the larger in a rehearsal of all circumstances relating to this case, that I might more clearly investigate the whole truth of the matter, and give the plainer demonstration of the fraudulent Practices of such abuseful Intruders on this noble Art.  
I think the Case was here so evident, that nothing unless a Barber's Ignorance could have made, upon an excoriation, the most irrational prediction of an Amputation: what other Survenient might indeed have been expected, than that from the Patient's acquired Chacochymy he should be infested with so troublesome an Ulceration, which was no other than the effect of an acred or sharp Serum in the Blood, more readily redounding on the weak Member than another part.  
Who, unless such an imprudent practising Ap—, would have forbidden in this case Phlebotomy, with the repetition of appropriate cathartics? or, what Novice other than an unexperienced Sea Practitioner would have advised the application of Digestives, to increase the pain and fluxion, where when the acidity of the Blood had been corrected, there had needed nothing more than an anodyne Epulotick to have perfected this mighty cure?  
We may hereby inform ourselves how inconsiderable a distinction the Commonalty make between a legal Artist and a spurious or false Pretender. They imagine (as we may reasonably think) that there is no other difference between a Barber's Pole, when his Window is beset with Porringers, and the Surgeon's Arms, than in some few degrees of a larger purchased Knowledge and acquired Experience; and therefore whilst the former calls himself a Barber-Surgeon, and will practise underhand, it may be for little or nothing, they are content to save themselves a present Penny, altho' it cost them a Pound hereafter; or to let this Person try Experiments upon their Bodies, in order for the future Employment of the Chirurgeon. They can easily enough believe, for that the Ap— sells them out his Balsams, Unguents, and Emplasters, he must certainly be acquainted with their true and proper Uses; and therefore, if he take upon him the Practice, they scruple not his Fidelity, his Judgement, nor his Honesty. But, above all, they seem the most willing to be imposed on by the Pretence of a Sea Professor: if he be not altogether so arrogant as to take upon him the Title of the King's Surgeon in general, yet his large Experience on the Seas, his having been present in so many hundred Engagements, where he hath taken off men's Limbs by the dozen, seldom eating a morsel till he hath whipped off a score Members; where the Bullets were wont to rattle like Hail about his Ears, some taking off his Wig, some piercing his Hat, and others (if you'll believe him) have almost touched his Heart, yet still, by his unbounded Knowledge in the Art of Healing, he remains alive: he hath sailed so many times into Asia, so many to Arabia, and as many to the farthest parts of America; or, if he please, to the outmost Borders of the Earth; has gone through so many several Hardships, and met with such miraculous Deliverances, as would make you shake and tremble at the recital: 'Tis this, I say, that renders him a man of great repute, and you must certainly admire to hear him tell what he underwent to purchase Experience in the Medicinal Art, or to render himself the more completely qualified for the Chyrurgick Practice.   

SECT. V  
AFTER all, as if this so worthy Profession had not suffered by these means a sufficient diminution in its Repute, or its honourable Professors had not been hereby enough degraded, we are not wanting of the utmost Endeavours of a Petticoat Pretender, to farther our present Ignominy and Contempt.  
Were I speaking to any one of a discerning Judgement, I would argue nothing more against the Sufferance of a practising old Gentlewoman, than the single consideration of the divine Mystery of Healing, in the contemplative or theorical part thereof, together with the great and intricate difficulty of its Practice, being wholly above the comprehension of a Woman's Genius, and vastly distant from the reach of a Feminine Capacity.  
But since I expect to meet with opposition from some conceited pusilanimous Spirits, I shall, for a more general satisfaction, take the same course I have in the preceding Sections, and lay their too common Abuses open to the naked Eye, that so all may see (unless here and there one will remain blind, and think it a piece of Modesty to blush at the reproach of their Grandams Skill in Surgery) with how great and scandalous Reflection on good Literature, I had almost said, on the Sense and Reason of all Englishmen, the Magistracy suffer such continual Delusions, practised by ignorant Women, in the Heart of their Metropolis, the City of London, where there are such prodigious numbers, who take upon them to practise both in Physic and Chirurgery, that scarce a Street, Lane, Court, Alley, or other Building therein, which remains unfurnished.  
If you get a Fall, you are no sooner up again, but advised to send for the Cerecloth of some infallible old Wife. If by accident you are wounded, and cannot manage it yourself, you are presently recommended to a skilful Gentlewoman. Nay, if by ill Company you are drawn aside, and by an infected Courtesan happen to be clapped, you shall not walk far before you meet with some bawdy Doctress ready to entertain you, and administer to your Infirmities, be they never so obscene. Lastly, let your Business be as it will, unless very ghastly or ill-favoured to look on, you need not question the Confidence of some Female Enterpriser thereof. So that it is very rare if a Chirurgeon be now-adays consulted upon any business which comes not to him out of the wearied or tired hands, or which hath not been nearly spoiled by the workmanship of a Woman.  
If you are minded to take a view of her Closet or Surgery, you may find the same set off with a multitude of consused Preparations, with as many Glasses, Gallypots, Boxes, and Plasters: in the former she keeps Blackcherry, Bawm, Carduus, Mint, and other Waters of her own distilling, which when mixed up with a little Syrup of Gillyflowers, makes a Cordial to answer all Intentions. In her Gallypots she keeps her Ointments and Balsams, the chief of which is that of Lucatellus, and her Ointment of Marshmallows. In her Boxes are Pills, and Spanish Flies to draw Blisters, and by the help of a Pepper-corn, to make an Issue also. Her Plasters in common use are Diachylon, and Melilot, and upon extraordinary occasions Paracelsus and Oxycroceum, for those that will go to the price.  
From the Furniture of her Closet we will conduct you to her Library, or the Fountain of her Knowledge; and first of all, (as deserving the chiefest place) we must not forget to mention 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, as well his Midwifery as his English Physician, which Book alone is the chief part of her Treasury; the rest, such as the Good Wife made Doctress, the Woman's Counsellor, and the Plain Rules for Health, with some other Receipt books, being more for the ornament of her Study than for real use. I had almost forgot to tell you of those famous Baths and Pultisses (for you must conceive she neither approves of Cataplasms nor Fomentations) she is likewise Mistress of upon occasion.  
Being thus accomplished, like an honest, grave, and discreet Matron, she sets about her Work, which is, first of all, if she meets with a green Wound, let it be where or in what part it will, to strew in her Bowl Armeny, that the Haemorrbage (if there be any) may be restrained. Now, if the 'foresaid flux proceed from some divided Capillary, it may chance to take effect, if not, the Patient must seek out for other help. Her next or second Intention is, to cram the Wound full of Lucatellus Balsam, and to apply a Cloth with some of the same daubed over it, and covered with a Woollen Clout, for you know it must be kept warm: and to talk to her of Dossils', Pledgits, Compress, and Bandage, you are told, they are the cramp words of Conjurers and Surgeons, wherewith they amuse the People, intending to make a Cure of every Trifle, whilst she, good Woman, (meaning honestly) can do without.  
This is the exact method of her Proceed hitherto, being confirmed to me by many (I may say) hundred Observations, where the Event hath been frequently the same, viz. the employing a Chirurgeon to rectify the mistake, and finish after a different manner the desired Cure. What other indeed can be expected from such a treatment, where a Wound hath been plastered up with the improper application of Lucatellus' famed Balsam, so mightily cried up by the People, for the principal Salve necessary in a Woman's Salvatory?  
I will by the way take the liberty to inform you, that I see very little reason to admire the vulgar Use of this Composition; neither did I ever find any other effect from its external application, than a Slough induced, which covers the bottom as well as lips of the Wound, whereby Digestion is retarded, and by consequence a fluxion of Humour excited, begetting Pain, Tumour and Inflammation on the Parts about. How then is it likely that Unition in a recent Wound by Conglutination, otherwise termed the first Intention, should ever be procured, where the sides of the Solution are kept distended by this clogging Medicament; and there must at length be a necessity (protracting time) to heal it, as a Wound or Ulcer with loss of Substance, when by Sutures and Bandage, to retain them close, the same might have been attained in a third part of the time, with far less trouble and much more content to the Female Patient, by avoiding of a Scar, which upon the Neck, Face, Breasts, or Arms of the fair Sex looks very unseemly.  
It may here be queryed by some, how it should come to pass, that so many and (in their weak Opinion) such considerable Wounds, are often Cured by the alone application of this Wonderful Balsam.  
I reply hereto, That were it convenient my single Judgement should take place, such an Effect is not so much to be imputed to a Virtue latent in the said Medicine, as to the homogenous or true and genuine Crasis of the Blood, by whose Balsamic quality I have heard of many large and seemingly dangerous Wounds (where no part of exquisite Sense hath been divided) which have been healed without any topic or outward administration, more than a slight covering bound about, to defend them from the Particles of the circumambient Air. And of this nature (unless I mistake) are many of those which by some fanciful men are supposed to be wrought by Sympathy.  
I shall be wholly silent as to the good or bad effects of this Balsam, when exhibited internally, since by speaking thereto I might seem to impose on the Duty of a Physician; but I am well satisfied, that should we go about to debar our Female Practiser of this her most admirable Salve, she must wholly desist from farther intermeddling in Chyrurgick Practice, there being a great number of them who have nothing more to support their ridiculous Pretences than a Gallypot or Box of Lucatellus' Balsam, and a Roll or two of Paracelsus Plaster.  
It should seem reasonable that I beg excuse, if in the present Section I lay too great an imposition on the Patience of any judicious Person, more particularly on that of my Brother the Chyrurgick Reader. Although it be altogether unlikely to advantage him, who already knows the truth of what I shall deliver, yet it seemed highly convenient for the benefit of many in this incredulous Age we live, for illuminating their Understandings, and removing of that Veil of Ignorance which hath beguiled them, with a false prospect of our just and honest Intentions.  
I should have had the less concern upon me, had I perceived their Frauds to have taken place, and passed undiscovered by no other than the inferior Rabble-Proselites like themselves; but when I found that the Minds of a more understanding People, such of far greater Worth, Reputation, Credit, and sometimes Quality, were not exempt or freed from the same Mist of Ignorance, this Consideration gave me Grounds for the most profound amazement, as well as pity, and was indeed a great incitement to induce me to lay this Injunction (not yet, that I know of, so fully performed by others) upon myself.  
I shall not trouble the Reader with a rehearsal of many particulars; nor do I see occasion, where the general Rule of Practice is altogether preposterous.  
Thus, against that Maxim of Contraria contrariis, in a recent Contusion, where a repellent Topick (as a Defensative) should take place, we find her tampering with hot Cerecloths or Pultisses, whereby a ready way is made for the Influx, and when the Tumour happens to be considerable, or the Extravasation large, there often succeeds an incommodious Suppuration or Inflammation, at best, a vexatious itching (the old Gentlewoman's sign of healing) heat and excoriation, accompanied with a very troublesome sense on the part so grieved.  
It is not without cause that I am ready to think this to be a great occasion of our meeting with so many obstinate and perverse Humours attending an inconsiderable Wound, Ulcer, or Contusion, whose Descent hath been first invited by the improper application of hot Pultisses, Unguents, or Emplasters; so that we find that (which if then rationaly treated) would have been little troublesome, now impossible to admit of healing, till the intemperies brought upon the part be carefully removed.  
You will scarcely believe that a simple Herpes, exasperated by a Woman's improper application, should make such an inveterate improvement in its erosion, as not to admit a check under a fortnight's time: and it may seem as strange to you, that a bare solution of continuity on the superficial parts of the Body, where, 'tis probable, there hath been nothing more than the Cuticle and Cutis divided by the efficient cause, or that a mere Excoriation by the scratch of a Pin or Nail, should by improper Medicines (especially where there is a salino-sulphureous Dyscrasy of the Blood predominant) occasion three or four months' trouble to overcome.  
I was some years since desired to look upon a Woman, who from a trivial Accident suffered at that time under the formidable Symptoms of a putrid phagedenick Ulcer upon her Leg, so extremely corrosive, that in a little time it had spread itself to the compass of a hands breadth, and when the Sordes or Slough was thrown off, it exposed the fore part of the Tibia denudated and carious.  
I will not affirm, this arrived at first from a famous Doctress, her dressing the said Leg with an Ointment of Tobacco and Marshmallows, enwrapping the same about with a styptic Plaster of Paracelsus; but I dare appeal to any discriminating Artist, whether any thing much better could be expected from such a treatment.  
As I shall by no means seek to ingratiate myself into the favour of any anti prejudiced Person, or such an one as may unreasonably bear an aversion to the honourable Professors of our Art: so neither shall I require the admission of his Faith to any thing I have said, farther than the prevalency of right Reason will constrain, or beyond a confirmation of the Truth he may receive from those remarkable Instances which continually emerge.  
Let him take but a serious view of the weekly Presentations made to those two sacred Sanctuaries for the Sick, I mean the Hospitals of St. Thomas and St. Bartholomew, or supervise those great numbers which are daily offered to the Undertake of the more private Practitioners in our Art; and after a free enquiry into their Distempers, with the former management thereof, he will, I doubt not, receive information, that the greater number of their Maladies (some of them by delay now grown incurable) had their foundation laid in, or took their original from the hands of some confidently-pretending Baggage, or other fair promising Female Undertaker.  
Is it not a very usual thing for People to consult us about any troublesome Accident, being dissatisfied in their Doctress; and we oftentimes find, where they have been deluded under the notion of a Sprain, that their Limbs have been obscurely broken, and a Callus (although deformed for want of Art,) thrust forth, attended with the disadvantage of an ill-shaped, crooked, and sometimes almost useless Member. The like may be said of Dislocations, which are by base unlearned Women treated for no other than simple Contusions, and so long neglected, that there is no hope of Remedy; which might at first, with as much facility as success, have been administered.  
Indeed, it is much the same comparatively in all other cases where there has been admitted a Feminine Chyrurgick Operator, who if one undertaking succeed, although a score miscarry, that one proves a sufficient Basis for the light Fabric of her Reputation. Nay, she being most commonly the proclaimer of her own Fame, you shall not want to hear the flying Stories of her Fortunes, whilst those of her unbounded Ignorance are buried in as deep a silence, and revive not otherwise than through the Courtesy of some sorrowful Mother, who is beholden to this famous Doctress for making of her Child a Martyr.  
She is one, who if she finds you wavering in your Opinion of her Skill, or dissatisfied at her Proceed, knows how to terrify you from falling into the Surgeon's hands, where you are to expect nothing less than the unspeakable Tyranny of Probation, Incision, and Scarification; whereas she, like a tenderhearted Woman, makes use of no such Cruelty; she has none of those frightful Instruments to perplex and disquiet you, but is willing to cure you with her sovereign Balsam or Plaster, which she will admit you to take off and put on yourself.  
This is the pleasing Subterfuge of Ignorance, and a Bait very easily swallowed down by inconsiderate People, not seldom to their destruction. 'Tis truly the main Objection, why many Persons are so fearful of the Chyrurgick Artist, viz. his severe and cruel usage to his Patients. Now therefore, that I may unriddle this great Mystery, and expose the whole Truth without reserve, thereby to see if the matter in debate be such as represented, we will thus argue: If thou shouldst at any time labour of an Infirmity, either Tumour, Wound, Ulcer, etc. whether may it be thought more reasonable to confide in him who is throughly experienced in the progress and event of each Distemper, which thyself and fellow-Creatures are all prone to, has had his abundant Knowledge therein confirmed to him by his Education under some learned and ingenious Practitioner, and is himself continually conversant in suchlike practical Observations? Hadst thou rather trust thyself in the hands of such, or in those of some senseless Petticoat Pretender, who hath no more Judgement in thy Distemper than thyself, neither more Authority to take upon her the Profession, than what she basely and most unjustly assumes? I can easily enough foresee what may be answered hereto, that you the rather prefer a Woman, because she will not cut or make Incisions upon your Flesh; she hates those inhuman Cauteries or Searing Irons wherewith Surgeons (who are sworn to make a Cure) perplex and disturb you, but will carefully endeavour, by her Ointments and precious Salves, without any Severity, to remove your Disorders.  
To this I could reply, if there were occasion, that of the Poet, 
— immedicabile vulnus,  
Ense recidendum—  or, That a desperate Case requires as severe a Remedy: And whether or no the Disease be arrived at such a state, I think the able and knowing Artist the more competent Judge: so that it is not to be disputed, but where necessity calls for it, so rough and rigorous an administration is undeniably to be justified.  
I do not go about to persuade, that this must be the result of every one's particular condition, since I would have all to understand that it is much beneath the Principle of any Christian Professor of our Art to exercise such seeming Cruelties upon his Patient, if he could otherways discharge the Duty of his Calling, or perform what is required of him.  
It seems most strange to me, and I think this may supply the place of a conclusive Argument, that an ignorant unlearned Woman's Judgement should surpass that of the most eminent Artist, or that she should in any probability be capable to relieve us, without such handling as we are frighted with, whilst he whose proper business it is, knows not to perform the same.  
What an extreme Folly carries some People into a resolute Belief (which they will not alter till they have rendered themselves Sufferers) that such an one as is unknowing in the cause of a Distemper, or what the same Distemper truly is, can make neither Prognostic nor Diagnostic thereof, neither can tell by what appropriate Remedies the same Distemper should be profligated, but hazardously prescribes her fortuitous Medicines, which for all her knowledge, may do more injury than good. That she (I say) should notwithstanding have found out a more easy and salubrious Methodus Medendi, than the more judicious and skilful Practitioner in the said Art.  
I would sincerely advise those who are so wonderfully afraid of having their Flesh cut, (as the only Preservative therefrom) that they eat a pretending Doctress, one, who by her Ignorance gives too commonly the first occasion of such unavoidable proceed, and indeed many times for that which is of higher consequence than a small Incision (viz.) Amputation, or (to save their Lives) dismembering of a Limb.  
If they would repair in time to the Fountain of true Knowledge and Understanding, they might find from their own experience, there would be no reason to apprehend such danger, or thus dismally to affright themselves, being secure under the industrious care of a tender and compassionate Artist: Or let the case be what it will, when you have been misguided and so long neglected yourself, and at length repair to him, you may assure yourself you will find no Surgeon so indiscreet as to undertake (without your free consent) any thing of a dubious consideration or event; if he finds your condition perilous, or full of danger, he proposeth the method he intends to proceed by, and which is absolutely necessary he should observe, if to your full satisfaction he discharge the Duty incumbent on him. If you dislike such his Proposal, you can but reflect upon his Caution, and blame yourself for an unwillingness to submit thereto. Farther, if you cannot comply with such his intended course, yet will still put yourself under his care, I am certain you will not find wanting (when he has forewarned you of the danger) the utmost of his Endeavours (which should, as I conceive, be much more prevalent than a Woman's) to restore and cure you without this painful and severe usage.  
I could wish that every Patient would make choice of such an honest and able Professor of this Art as they might reasonably confide in, and then wholly, under the Supreme Power, to submit themselves (without dictating their own erroneous Sentiments) to his management, I would have them banish all those childish and fearful Apprehensions of his supposed Cruelty, and remain steadfast, in a firm belief, that he will act no otherwise by them than himself, if under suchlike circumstances; or, that what he does is purely designed for their recovery and well being.  
It is but little short of a Miracle to me, that any one should imagine we can be so much delighted in (what they call) the persecution of our Neighbours, when we take upon us those troublesome operations of Incising, Cauterising, Amputating, etc. as to account the same for Pleasure or Diversion, which is no more than what we are prompted to from the urgent necessity of such miserable States and Accidents as require such performance.  
Can they think, I wonder, that the clamorous Shrieks and Outcries of poor suffering Creatures are such grateful Concord or harmonious Melody, to make us fond thereof, if we knew to avoid it? Rather let me inform such who have been too subject to censure us in this manner, that every faithful Practitioner is at these times of distress an almost equal Sufferer with his Patient, as well by a deep concern for his Affliction, as on the account of that burdensome Care which then lies upon him, arising through the disturbed Thoughts and Fears of a Miscarriage under his hands: Which are, I think, sufficient grounds for our Belief, that no man in his Senses would take upon him some very troublesome Operations in our Art, did not an indispensible necessity, with the conscientious discharge of his Duty, compel him to the same.  
I doubt not in the least but many have suffered, and that in an extraordinary measure, through the Ignorance of some unallowable Practitioners in our Art, but I cannot think that any one, unless some stupid Atheist, who believes neither the Divine Omniscience nor Omnipresence, would dare the Divine Vengeance, by trying Conclusions and Experiments upon his fellow-Creature, whereby he might be endangered of either Limb or Life, or after any other manner wittingly torment his distressed Patient, farther than the urgency of his Case commands: and he who hath thus far followed the Rules of Art with a good and just intent, is undoubtedly to be justified, his Actions also to be accounted warrantable before GOD and Man.  
I must needs say I have so high an opinion of all that are known to myself, as to believe them in no wise guilty of such impiously degenerate and sordid Practice; and I am so far from censuring all others of this faculty, that I as little question but that every of them who are legally qualified for the Practice would scorn to act the same. Let me therefore advise all malevolent, mean-spirited, and ill-principled Persons, who have unreasonably contributed to the disheartening and discouraging their Friends from being concerned with the Chyrurgick Artist, (in his room preferring an Old Woman) that they desist from such their dangerous Persuasions, till they can bring a justifiable Accusation, to countenance what they endeavour to insinuate against us.  
I might here, according to a more orderly proceeding, lay before you a Scheme of every individual Woman's Ignorance, and recite to you their Names and Places of residence, but truly considering the present state of affairs, where a feminine pre-eminence in Chirurgery is made a kind of Disputation, and that the whole Nation sounds of their wonderful Achievements; the former would be as troublesome as the latter without number. Since than it were no News to tell you of an Old Wife's Failings in her Pretences to the Practice, and as little strange to be informed where there lives such a famous Gentlewoman, who is turned Doctress, or other Petticoat Undertaker. Waving (I say) a rehearsal of suchlike Fooleries, I shall come towards a conclusion of this my last Section, not forgetting first to acquaint you with the Transactions of a wonderful She Professor beyond L— B— who seldom intermeddles in any thing short of such difficult business, as hath been declared incurable by the most eminent of our City-Chyrurgeons, viz. Cancers and Scrofulous Tumours, which she seldom keeps under hand by any long delay, but for the most part makes a quick (though painful) dispatch, giving them a speedy deliverance out of all their Afflictions. 'Tis not the expiation of a public Whipping, or any thing less than a capital Punishment, that can so far satisfy as to make complete atonement, or restitution to the hands of Justice, for this bold Pretender's multiplied Offences.  
You will scarce believe those unheard of Rarities, found out by the Industry of this Person, such as the cure of a confirmed Cancer upon the Tongue, by a Plaster of Earthworms, whereby the Patient (though before sick and weak) was with a little of her help enabled to take a Journey into the other World. Nor is it likely that you have heard who it was that the deceased Mr. W—. courted as an Assistant, let me tell you then (as it came from her) 'twas the lately mentioned Gentlewoman who blazed it abroad for the increase of her Fame, That this ingenious Artist proffered her One Hundred Pounds to take the Charge of his most difficult Practice. A very likely matter! that such a person as a Serjeant-Surgeon, who had accumulated the greatest Honours of his Profession, should at length make suit to a presumptuously-intruding Gossip, and proffer her a Stipend to be his Coadjutrix.  
What will not Impudence leave unattempted, to purchase the empty Nothing of Popular Applause?  
It was by suchlike Insinuations that the 'foresaid Person wheedled herself into the good Opinion of a Gentleman who had been for some time afflicted with an Ulcerated Cancer, spreading itself from the Coronal Suture on one side, reaching over that part of the Bregma and Os Temporis to the Mandible. The Patient, not content with a palliation of this raging Malady, was induced (by a confident promise of Cure) to submit himself to her management, under whose hands he languished for some time, till he died a miserable Object, to forewarn the Unwary how they embrace the Poison of a Woman's Speech, whilst they neglect and contemn the Counsel of the Legal Artist.  
It would be too burdensome a Task to give a succinct or complete Narrative of those gross Cheats and Abuses offered to the Inhabitants of the City of London, by Women pretending to the Art of Surgery. The one professeth the Cure of sore apostemated Breasts, another for sore Eyes, a third for the King's Evil, a fourth for sore Legs, a fifth for Scald Heads, a sixth for Cancers, and so of the rest; when at the same time making no manner of distinction in the Temperaments or Constitutions of Humane Bodies, but having purchased one particular Medicine, as a Mercurial or Vitriolic Water, a famous Ointment, Balsam, or Plaster; and either of these having casually proved successful, they confusedly ever after use the same upon all occasions, extolling them as the most sovereign Remedies yet known.  
It is not long since I was discharged by a Gentlewoman, in order for the entertainment of a Woman, who undertook to cure the most inveterate Abscess, with no other application than a Cloth spread with equal parts of Basilicon, and an Ointment of Marshmallows; But what was the consequence? When the Tumour suppurated, the discharge was left to Nature (for, you must know, it would have been a piece of Cruelty to have opened it either by Caustick or Incision;) and the more fluid part of the Matter vented itself at a small Orifice, whence the residue subsiding, her Pain afresh increased, and I was at length admitted to open it in the more depending part, by which means the same in a short time was perfectly healed.  
'Tis most certain, where the Pus or Quitture has no commodious vent, it frequently falls down lower, and begets Sinus' or Caverns, which, for want of timely opening, especially where the Humour is corrosive, and the Bone near the same becomes carious, the hollowness in time growing Callous. And truly, for the most part, such kind of Work as this gives us the opportunity of meeting with so many incurable Fistula's, which oftentimes take their rise from an inconsiderable Abscess, whose Cavity was never opened, or otherwise deterged, than by that base pernicious Practice of Injections.  
I shall divert you (before I sum up all) with an account of somewhat of the like tendency with the last recited Case, out of Mr. W—'s Observations.  
Whilst I was dressing a Patient (saith the said Author) in a Citizen's House, I was desired to look upon the Breast of the Gentlewoman of the House: She had lately lain in, and from abundance of Milk and ill handling, her right Breast had been Apostemated, and broken out in many holes. A Woman famous in the City for dressing fore Breasts was her Chirurgeon. I had observed, that the Breast had at first broke in the upper part, in a small Pin-hole, and the Matter not having had sufficient discharge, had subsided, and so made the other Openings, and afterwards passed an inch lower than any of the Openings, and could not be discharged otherwise than as it filled up the Sinus, and ran over, or was pressed from below upwards with her Hand: By this means the Breast continued inflamed▪ and apostemated, insomuch that it was impossible to cure it by that method, till it had apostemated the whole Breast.  I pitied the Patient, and wondered that a Woman (so famed for such Cures) could be so ignorant, and yet preserve her Credit with that Sex. I showed the Patiented the Cause of her Pain, and the unlikelihood to be suddenly cured by such a Chirurgeon, and prevailed with her to permit me to lay a Caustick on the Depending Part; and having made an Eschar the compass of a Threepences, opened it, and gave vent to the Matter, and left her a little Unguentum Basilicon, by which she was Cured in few Days.   

THE CONCLUSION.  
I Have now discharged myself of what I thought an Obligation, by endeavouring to evidence the notorious Abuses arising from a sufferance of unallowable Practitioners in the Chyrurgick Art, which is so dark and obscure, so unintelligible in the Practic as well as Theorical part thereof, to the Judgement of every one, unless that of its Professors, that he who is minded to act a dishonest part, or play the Knave therein, shall carry on the most fraudulent Designs imperceptibly to the People, and so far, it's possible, from meeting with interruption, that it is no wonder if he be nobly rewarded, very honestly accounted, and as charitably thought of for so doing. Indeed, whilst this liberty is granted to every impertinent Intruder, who hath Confidence enough to carry on his Pretensions; whilst their frequent Failings are so little heeded, their male Practice no ways minded, nor themselves in the least questioned, how qualified for the same; whilst these, I say, are buried in silence, we must expect no other than a perpetual decay of Knowledge, a discouragement of Learned Men, and (let our Care otherways be never so great) must be incident to the greatest Calamities, occasioned from so prejudicial and shameful a toleration.  
Were either Galen or Hypocrates now living, to see this spurious Issue made so much of, their Pretences unquestioned, their Abuses even countenanced, and they advanced, whilst their legitimate Offspring are degraded and disesteemed; were they informed of this worthy Rabble, who basely take upon them the exercise of our Art; or did they know how every Water-flinging Piss-prophet boasts himself as great a Doctor as the most gradually-commenced Physician; how the most contemptible Mechanics, such as Tinkers, Cobblers, etc. not only make it a point of Controversy, but endeavour with all their might to monopolise the Art, and exclude the worthy Artist; were these Worthy men in a capacity of inspecting these matters, we may suppose they would not a little wonder at the Age we live in, and grieve to behold our miserable Neglect, who suffer the most honourable of Arts to be rendered the most despicable, that Art which they themselves were not more painful and laborious to new model and complete, than we are careless to support and prevent its final overthrow.  
There is truly at this time so little care taken to correct and punish the Presumption of any illiterate Person, that if a man have but an Inclination thereto, though the most injudicious or unknowing, if he have Wit enough to hang out a Bloodporringer, to call himself a Barber-Surgeon, to set forth a Urinal or Scheme of the Celestial Houses, with any other Hieroglyphic of his Skill, he shall pass in the Crowd for the most learned Professor of Physic as well as Surgery. What is worse, let his Ignorance be as manifest as the Injustice of his Claim, he goes on unmolested, without danger of opposition.  
I believe there are at this time some Thousands of false Practitioners in the City of London, besides those whom we more peculiarly entitle Quacks and Mountebanks; at least such as undertake to bleed, cut Issues, set broken and disjointed Members, or to administer Physic, and the one half of these no other than ignorant and foolish Women, whose enormous Practice hath been one great cause, as well to lessen the number of its Inhabitants, as to bring the most ridiculous Contempt and Scandal on the best of Arts.  
If you take a Prospect of the outparts of the Town, you would imagine there were a plenary Indulgence granted to all Empirics, Quacks, Barbers, Old Women, and others, whom it shall please to take upon them the Profession of Chirurgery; you will either think this Art the most easily attainable of all others, since a mere Pretence to the same will carry a man very far into the good Opinion of the People: or, last of all, you will find just reason to imagine this (formerly sublime) Profession is now become a kind of Sanctuary or Refuge for decayed Tradesmen, who know not to live longer upon their own Employments.  
I remember, (saith an ancient Author) when I was at the Wars of Mutterell, in the time of the most famous King Henry the Eighth, there was a great Rabblement, that took upon them the Practice of Chirurgery, such as Tinkers, Sowgelder's, Shoemenders, and the like; this noble Sect performed such wondrous Cures, that they got to themselves a perpetual Name; in two or three dress they most commonly cured their Patients, making them whole and sound for ever.  
When the Duke of Norfolk, who was then General, understood how the People died of inconsiderable Wounds, he sent for me, and certain other Surgeons, requiring us to make search how these men came by their Death, whether it were by the grievousness of their Wounds, or through want of Knowledge in the Undertakers. According to his Command, we made search throughout the Camp, and found many of these Good fellows, who took upon them the Titles of Surgeons; not only so, but the Salary also: We enquired with whom they had been brought up; and they shamelessly would answer, With some Skilful Person or other, who was dead some time ago. We farther demanded to see what Medicines they had to Cure the Wounded; and they would readily show us a Pot or Box which they had in a Budget, wherein was such Trumpery as was only fit to grease Horse-heels withal; others, who were Cobblers and Tinkers, made use of Shoemakers-wax, and the Rust of old Pans, wherewith they compounded a Noble Salve, as they termed it.  
In the end this worthy Rabble were committed to the Marshalsea, and threatened by his Grace to be hanged for their Wicked Deeds, except they would declare the Truth, what they were, and of what Occupations: They did finally confess as I have declared to you before; upon which the Duke gave Commandment, That they should immediately avoid the Camp, upon pain of Death; and if after they appeared there again, they should be hanged as Murderers.  
I could wish that the present Nobility of our Nation, with others the supreme Governors and Magistrates thereof, would imitate the Example of this eminent person, and take care to punish all such deceitful persons, who fall from their proper Employments, and most unjustly assume the Profession of Chirurgery.  
I am sure, if the public Interest, or the Honour of the said Art were sought to be advanced, such a course would be taken, whereby insolent Pretenders might be silenced in their attempts, their Abuses prevented by their condign Punishment, and the People secured from suffering through Ignorance, in the management of their Distempers.  
If we reflect on the Care and Industry of every private Tradesman, who is himself a Freeman, to discover any Stranger who hath unjustly encroached upon his Privilege, what a bus●ie and stir he makes to keep out Foreigners, never leaving nor desisting till for his own and his Company's good he hath routed and put them down. If (I say) we consider the Care taken about inferior matters, where the Contest is upon a small and frivolous occasion, what are we in the mean time to be accounted, who negligently dispense with those intolerable Impositions made by Strangers, Ignorants, and all others, upon the Practice of Chirurgery, where the Debate is not upon a mere Livelihood, or the advancement of Trade, but here our Health, Limbs, and Lives are the Price of our Contention, and by permission hereof we are continually in danger of being Ruined in them all.  
It was the Opinion of a Person very eminent in our Profession, that no one could be qualified for Practice, Nisi in eadem educatus, exercitatusque fuit. With how great Peril do we then (from his words) confide in these presumptuous Undertakers, who cannot subsist by the Income of their proper Occupations, and have nothing to set them off but their Impudence and a little Book-Knowledge, wherewith they amuse those who take them to be rightly accomplished Physicians and Surgeons. They are so far from having been initiated under the Care of any Legal Practitioner, or so little exercised in the said Art, that their short Conference with some Confident Empirick or Quack (having thereby purchased one or two particular Medicines) is the whole Stock of their Learning, as well as Grounds for such their pernicious Pretences.  
I will however hope, that from the foregoing Observations the People may see what intolerable Mischiefs an unskilful Person may perpetrate, when countenanced the most illegally to practice in this Noble Art; and although I doubt not but many others have made the like Reflections upon the erroneous Actions of these Men, yet I may think, at least, that this public manifestation of their Ignorance and Deceit, from the important urgency thereto, with the unavoidable necessity for the same, will the rather excite or spur on some generous Person (whose station will admit thereof) to perfect in some sense a regulation of these Abuses.  
What indeed can we expect from the continuance of such a Sufferance, but that the Medicinal Profession (formerly held in so great repute and admiration) is not only likely to stand in competition with the most mercenary Employment, but that its genuine Professors, meeting with so great discouragement, may in time lay aside and neglect its farther improvement, to the no small diminution of all true and methodical Knowledge therein, and to the universal detriment thereby accrueing to the whole Nation.  
If he who hath spent the greatest part of his Life hath been instructed by the ablest Master of the said Art, by a long and tedious Service therein, and constantly habituated to the study as well as practise thereof, all which he finds little enough to render himself capacitated. If, after all, such a Person as this shall be no better accounted than an Upstart Empirick, no farther relied on than a Foreign Quack, no more confided in than a Practising Barber, his Skill thought scarce equivalent to a cheating or deluding Bonesetter's, and himself in all respects, for his Art, little more esteemed than a Female Enterpriser. If Tinkers, Cobblers, Heelmakers, and Butchers, with the rest of this spurious and sordid Tribe, shall be as well rewarded as the most judicious and faithful Practitioner, what other Fate to attend can we imagine, unless that of the irreparable Confusion of this once famous Art?  
How profitably a Regulation of these Disorders might be undertaken for the suppressing base Pretenders to Chyrurgick Practice, where the Concerns of Life itself are daily hazarded, would, I doubt not, soon appear with the Product of these great Advantages. First of all, the Unwary would be no longer misguided by the plausible Stories of the Ignorant, nor exposed to the Miscarriages they are now subjected to. Furthermore, the lawful Practitioner would not be molested or impeded in his Practice by these surreptitious Quacksalvers, whom we should quickly find dissolved into their pristine Employments: There would be no Toleration for any of them to enter themselves as Cubs in an Hospital, hereupon to be accounted for rightly-constituted Surgeons. No Tradesman would, with polluted Hands, intermeddle in the Medicinal Art, or any other of them presume upon this Privilege, if not only the Fear but the Effect of a just and reasonable Prosecution could be of sufficient force to reduce them into their proper Elements.  
How might we rejoice to see the presaging Piss prophet broke to pieces with his Urinal, and the Empirical, with the strouling Bill-Doctor, forced to take up some other Business, wherein it may be unlikely they should do that injury to the generality of Mankind?  
Let those few, and some of them fatal, Instances I have given, caution all Persons how they confide in the Promises of any confident Undertaker: Let their frequent Failings be no longer winked at, but let every one who wishes well to the Public use his utmost diligence, that these Abuses be as well reformed as detected. It is not so trifling a Concern as may be supposed, since the Lives of so many miserable Creatures are forfeited by our delay herein. And therefore, as we may read in Ancient Authors, what good and wholesome Laws were made to punish all such arrogant Persons, let us endeavour all we can that the same, or the like, may be in force, and put in execution against those who by their malevolent and slanderous Aspersions, together with their most detested Practices, have procured as much Mischief to the People as Contempt to Surgery, and its honourable Professors; the well-wishing to whose Prosperity will be but little available, till there be an Attempt made for the removal of those grand Impediments of their Lustre and Renown.  
I think I cannot more pertinently finish what I have to say upon this Subject, than in the Words of one of our own Authors to this purpose.  As you would that this Noble Art should flourish, you must not be wanting in your Endeavours to take away the Occasions of its Prejudice and Disrepute; neither yet to acknowledge your dependence upon the Supreme Being, who hath as well created and appointed the Means thou shalt think fit to use, as ordained thee to be the Instrument of such his Favour. Furthermore, be thou never wanting to petition Heaven for Success upon thy Chyrurgick Erterprises, whereby the Sick may be advantaged, and an Eternity of Comfort and Satisfaction procured to thyself. 
FINIS.