Heads of all Fashions, Being, A plain Desection or Definition of diverse, and sundry sorts of heads, Butting, Jetting, or pointing at vulgar opinion. And Allegorically showing the Diversities of Religion in these distempered times. Now very lately written, since Calves-Heads came in Season. London Printed for John Morgan, to be sold in the Old-bailey. 1642. The Contents. 1. A Round-head, both at random and couched. 2. A Square head. 3. A Solid head. 4. An Empty head. 5. An Hollow-head. 6. A Full head. 7. A deep head. 8. A Great head. 9 A little head. 10. A long head. 11. A short head. 12. A Tall head. 13. A Flat head. 14. A Strong head. 15. A weak head. 16. A thick head. 17. A Thine head. 18. A plain head. 19 A Forked head. 20. A Smooth head. 21. A Rugged head. 22. A Logger head. 23. A Narrow head. 24. A Broad head. 25. A block head. 26. A Light head. 27. A Heavy head with some other whole and half heads. To the gentle Reader, DIstracted fame throughout the world so spreads, That monster-like, she now hath many heads, A man can go to no place, but shall hear Things that may make him hope, and make him fear: But I do hope, and hope I will do still, All shall be well in spite of little Will, Or any of his Crew, far off or near, Whose practices do every day appear Still more and more, the Lord sees how they deal, And doth their Plots and Projects all reveal: Each City and each town, yea every village, Can fill us now with news, we need not pillage. Tom Long and's men, rare tidings will relate, Some of high powers and peers, some of the State, Some of Religion, or Church Discipline, Some of this Bishop, some of that Divine; Some of a Knot of villains late found out, Heaven's mend or end that base conspiring rout. Some brings us news from Ireland, false or true, How ever all is called both true and new, Within one day a man may undertake Brief notes or thousands several things to make, It he writes half what he shall hear or see, News-mongers now have such variety, That let them make reports, till tired or dumb, Their last news scarce is told, but news is come To wait their next attendance to be spread, By this means fame hath got a monster's head, Yea many heads, whereof I found a few, And here have laid them open to thy view, Peruse them all, in earnest or in jest, And tell me which amongst them is the best. If Round-head should be found the best to be, Farewell all other heads, Round-head for me. But gentle Reader, give me thy good word, And then I care not what roundheads afford. Thine without hypocrisy. I. M. A Round-head at random. When as the world's foundation first was laid, A Round-head was the first head that was made, Adam's head and Eve's head were both as one, So all, each following Generation. That since the time of Adam hath ensued, Hath formed been to that similitude, All Nations far or near, ere known or found, Like English men have had their heads still round, Why then should any at Rounds-heads admire? Since all from Adam come our Great-grand-sire? To answer this: these times are full of Gall, And there's no head, no man that can please all. But as this head is understood of late, Some hold it scarce a friend tothth' King and State. And some suppose it, whereso ere it lurch, To be a great disturber of the Church I can say nothing, but as people say, One might this Round-head otherwise display, And if you'll have't more couched, more concisely, More punctual, more briefly, and precisely. Then thus; 1 A Round-head is a man whose brains compact, Whose Verilies and Trulies' are an Act Infallible, beyond the vain compare Of or●●nary men, what ere they are. This head, though sometimes owned by a widgion, Can make new moulds to shape a strange Religion. 2 A Square-head is exact in many rules, Knows Horses, Asses, very well from Mules, He is in Aglebra, and music skilled, His braine-pans with a thousand crotchets filled; And yet of late as I have heard some say, He cant endure to hear the Organs play. 3 A Solid-head is one whose every part, Is furnished with nature and with Art, Hath all the fair endowments can be given By the auspicious Stars or powers of Heaven: If this head be well guarded with God's grace, 'tis fit for Church or State, or any place. 5 An Empty-head hath still a shallow brain, Yet good enough to bear a Bishop's train, For that's now fallen full low, even to the ground, Old Canterbury's pride hath pulled all down: That little will, together with the wrens, Hath plucked the Pope almost from out his den. 4 An Hollow-head is one that is concave, Joined to an hollow-heart makes up a Knave, This Hollow-head comes near the empty Pate, Good wit doth seldom enter in thereat. He that the name of Hypocrite knows well, This Hollow-head or Hollow-heart may spell. 6 A Full-head is full fraught with brains or guts, Whose teeth are found, can crack the hardest nuts, His grinders are at best, his ears and eyes Are firm and good, free from infirmities: His nose is perfect, pure, and he can tell Which men are knaves, which honest by the smell. 7 A deep-head ●ead hath an apprehensive brain, Dives far into the plots of Pope and Spain, If well affected to the King and State. And to the gospel, who can blame this pate? Yet there are many now which ne'er knew schools Would raise up self-conceit, make wise men fools. 8 A Great-head may contain a world of wit, For there is room enough to harbour it, Some mighty-headed pleaders I have known, And yet their Great-heads little Law have shown: But what talk I of heads? it is the brain Enables them there cases to explain. 9 A Little-head (if not with madness gored) May with much wit enriched be, and stored, And then if well inclined towards God and King, How many great things may this small head bring: But ill disposed (as many such there be) It brings the body to disgrace we see. 10 A Long-head cannot wear a little cap, The forehead is so distant from the nap, This head hath many whimsies in the brain, Yet wonders much at Rome, at France, and Spain. These many plots have wrought against our Land, But this Long-head hopes they shall ne'er long stand. 11 A Short-head hath a kind of Brittle wit, Can understand and break Jests for a fit, His Pericranium being thin and tender. It followeth his Inge●●e must needs be slender: He is not strong enough to be a Baker, Yet he may serve to be a Comfit-maker. 12 A Tall-head like a pyramid or Steeple, O'er tops the common sort of vulgar people, 'tis often on a Pimps broad shoulders placed, And thinks itself with bushy locks much graced. This head is mounted up so in the air, That there can nothing grow (I fear) but hair. 13 A Flat-head is not puffed up with fat, But yet it is a down-right head that's flat, It hath no brains strange projects to devise, Nor will be drawn aside by toys or lies: It wants a bulk for mischiefs there to swarm, It doth small good, and it doth little harm. 14 A Strong-head though it be not made of brass, Remembreth every thing that comes to pass Within the reach of's eye, his ear or knowledge, His Skull for skill, and strength may be a college If he had been a Fencer by his fate He would have scorned to fear a broken pate. 15 A weak-head may ingenuous be and witty, Adorned with sundry graces, but 'tis pity, The frailty of this head doth now and than Make him forgo the best parts of a man: Bacchus into his brains may sometimes steal And rob his senses of their commonweal. 16 A thick-head is an head consolidated Quite opposite, unto the hollow pated, The frontispiece it had from Taurus brows, More thick and wrinkled far then any cows. This head is so substantial, that a man May count it for an ox head now and then. 17 A Thin-head be it empty, be it full, 'tis but composed of a Paper skull, The eyes are hallow and the cheeks are thin, The jawbones threaten to run through the skin: This head if you the face do well examine, Like Pharaoh's seven lean Kine, protends a famine. 18 A plain-head is a plain well-meaning head, Who as he thinks no harm, no hurt doth dread, So quickly may be gulled, for honest men Are often cheated every now and then: This head is often free unto its friend, Yet many times 'tis cozened in the end. 19 A Forked-head (if you the same could vote) Is like the head of any Bull or goat, Yet some affirm that most men of this kind Do wear their horns (Ram-like) reversed behind: Heads of this sort in and about the City There are a multitude, the more's the pity. 20 A Smooth-head is his Daddies dainty boy, His mother calls him still her only joy, His amiable coantenance is clad With many seeming virtues; nothing bad: This Smooth-head hath an oilily tongue likewise, Can soothe, and gloze, and monstrous things devise, 21 A Rugged-head is like a craggy mountain, Whence churlishness proceeds as from a fountain, This rugged, crooked, crabbed, ill made mazzard Is obstinate, cares not for any hazard. A world of follies this head liveth in, But yet presumption is his greatest sin. 22 A loggerhead alone cannot well be, At scrivener's windows many times hangs three A Country lobcock, as I once did hear, Upon a penman put a grievous jeer; If I had been in place, as this man was, I should have called that country-coxcomb ass. 23 A Narrow head is one whose brains are couched, Into a little room, may not be touched, With any beer or Ale, or Wine, or Water, For then his wits forthwith abroad will scatter, He is a silly simple, puling fool, Knows not the name of Learning, nor a school. 24 A broad head (if on broader shoulders placed) Thinks not himself by any jeers disgraced, Scoff, scorn, and flout him, so you picks not's Purse, This head conceiveth he is ne'er the worse, It were a sin to call him Cuckold thee, Because he doth believe he is not so. 25 A blockhead (to make his assertion good) Is not so called, because 'tis made of wood, This head consisteth not of many parts, Nor is it capable to learn the Arts, Yet give me leave, now I do all things scan, This head in time may serve an honest man. 26 A light head is full fraughgt with pleasant air, Thinks well of every one thats speaks him fair, he's given to leaping, much, and much to dancing, Curverting, jumping, vaulting and prancing, This nimble head whose father was no ●umbler. May make a Dancer on the ropes, or Tumbler. 27 A Heavy head is nought for compliment, So full it is of grief and discontent, The pensive thoughts that this head doth conceive, May make the best man all his meat to leave, He that is full of trouble, pain and sorrow, May see his dinner dressed, but eat to morrow. The Conclusion. A world of heads more I could name to you, An hog's head, pig's head, and a calf's head too, A jowl of Salmon too, is half a head, Which any man may well digest with bread, And next unto this jowl of Salmon fish, A Swines● Cheek is esteemed an excellent dish: An ox cheek likewise is a dish of meat Which many an old, younger, wived man may eat. These heads and half-heads all are known for food, And I do hold them to be very good: There also is a sheep's head and an Asses, But this last head most of the rest surpasses, For this in time by friends and love's increase, May be chief clerk t'a Justice of Peace. But stay rash Muse, why dost thou so far fly, Thou must not me●●le with authority. FINIS.