THE HELLISH PARLIAMENT Being a COUNTER-PARLIAMENT To this in England, containing the Demonstrative Speeches and Statutes of that Court.  
Together with the perfect league made between the two hellish Factions the Papists and the Brownists.  
Printed in the year, 1641.   

The hellish Parliament.  
HIs infernal Majesty taking into his hellish consideration the great happiness that now is towards England, and searing that his dear Children, as well those of the Romish faction, as of the Brownists Sect should have a terrible fall and their erroneous and seditious practices should be laid open: he resolved (if possible he could, to trouble the felicious proceedings of the Parliament, and to that end having long consulted with the subtle judges of his infernal Empire, he purposed to summon a counter Parliament against that in England, and gave order that the most prudent politic and impious Sectaries within the bound of his dominions should be assembled to debate propound, and propound, concerning divers important and very weighty ●ffaires.  
His mind was quickly fulfilled in such a manner that he was overjoyed to see such a 〈…〉 rabble company of his very diligentest ser●ants of each faction: Therefore his infernalship to make it appear how much he pleased therewithal bestowed on them a speech in this ungracious manner.  
Most dearly beloved and adopted Children, it is not unknown to your hellish ucderstandings what great thunderclaps have fall'n upon our right trusty and well-beloved servants the Papists in England, by that wonder-working Parliament now assembled, I give you now also to understand, that if there be not some speedy course taken, all will be lost; for as soon as they have done with our dear Servants the Papists, they will begin with our best beloved sons the Brownists. Therefore (as it ever hath been) so now such is our infernal care of the increase of our servants, we have assembled this sinful Synod: Rub therefore your hellish invention, and courageously work, striving who shall be forwardest to our (I fear) declining Empire.  
Let me hear your counsels, and I promise in all your endeavours you shall have my utmost assistance.  
Then was there a great Hubbub between the Papists and Brownists, concerning precedency of speech (indeed both are wicked great bawlers) The Papists being the elder Faction, thought of right, priority of speech belonged to them.  
But though the Brownists were the younger Sir John's, they were his Infernalships Nursle, most resembling him their Father, and his most dearly beloved; therefore they thought they should speak first, yet at last, after much squabbling they yielded. Then silence being commanded, Guy Faulks was chose Speaker for the Papists, and after low obeisance made, he thus began;  
Most infernal Emperor,  
We your obedient sons and servants the English Romanists are here prostrate before you, and as dutiful servants do all accord to do you nocturnal and diurnal service. But (Great Emperor) we cannot choose but lament, when we remember the disastrous chances that have fall'n upon our forward intentions. You may remember with what heroic stomachs we have complotted for the enlargement of your infernal Empire, as in that fat all year, 1588. when with such large sums we negotiated abroad, and at home endeavoured to conquer, for you, that same little angle of the world, England. And in that Memorable year, 1605. when we had hatched such a gigantic Stratagem, that our Bird was almost ready to break the shell. And now in 1639. when we had made a breach between the English and Scottish Nations, a more hellish Stratagem then which could not be invented. Behold then with a serious eye, the grand enterprise of your dear children the Romish Faction. And (profound Emperor) doubt not, but as we have heretofore, so we will stir up all foreign power now at this last cast against the English Parliament, and if that fail, Flectere si nequeo superos Acheronta movebo. Thus ended bold Guy Faulks, and for the Brownists, who d'ye think was chose? Samuel How, the most famous and renowned cobbler, who thus began after he had humed his hoarse voice up.  
dreadful Emperor,  
Your most zealously affected children the Society of Separatists or non-conformists alias Brownists most humble in all reverend & devoted posture, attend your service, and in the name of the whole dispersed tribe, I your zealous child and client, do pronounce the ardent heat that burns in all our breasts to effect your perpetrations, and whereas Guy Fauks hath extolled with a wide mouth the endeavours of the Romish Faction, as if we ne'er could parallel them, verily (most Potent Patron we have exceeded them many ways; for the Brownists (so trimly and slily) have given such rubs and flaves to your enemy's reputations, that (I think verily) they'll never recover themselves of the wounds that we have given them. True it is being backed with foreign Princes, they have undertook great endeavours, but never to any perfection.  
But we have not feared (alas unarmed) to outcry all danger, with what zeal have delivered your commands myself in the nagshead tavern near Colemanstreet, some in the fields, some in Country villages, every one somewhere: Had we been furnished with foreign aid, we could have done more than ever they would have done.  
But what need we desire other power, since your infernal Majesty doth so stiffly maintain us. And we will requite your love, and will as we use to do, in the same sly and slanderous and lying way forge and print any Libels and untruths for the furtherance of your ignoble Empire, and had we arms to fight withal, we would sprightfully and spitefully use them.  
After which arose a second fray between either Faction, that their Parliament house had like to afire, so hot were they at it, and Pluto thought verily that hell would have broke loose, but Cerberus hath proclaimed silence; Pluto with stern and angy look thus spoke;  
What means this noise, what means these angry threatenings? such looks ye ought to show mine enemies; this is not the way to enlarge, but destroy my Empire; Contention overthrows the greatest States; therefore brethren-like join hands against the common foe. You see how the Parliament of England shakes us so much, that if you do not bestir yourselves we shall be quite undone, than they all embraced mutually; So, this is well done, hence goodwill doubly redound to us and our, which is your kingdom. Then they craved instructions which they said should be as absolute Statutes of that their most hellish Parliament; to which Pluto most joyfully accorded.  
Then Rhadamanthus presented their hellish worships with these Acts following;  

1. That there be a strong and perfect league of friendship betwixt his infernal majesty's servants the Papists and Brownists.  
2. That they should cross, as much as in them lay, all good proceedings of the English Parliament.  
3. That the Papists should excite foreign Potentates against the said kingdom.  
4. That the Brownists should strew all libels about, especially such as tend to the disgrace of learning, his infernalship being an utter enemy to all sound literature.  
5. That the Brownists bear up, relieve, and maintain all contrivers of such libels, such as KNAVE REVILER HELL.  
6. That John Taylor the Water-Poet be declared an open enemy to his Infernalship and both the Factions.    

THus wicked Satan hath a double way,  
To work his ends to hinder his decay,  
His Agents are so many and so wicked bent,  
They care not for the truth so they're not shent  
If that the lion's skin will do no good,  
They'll soon put on the cunning fox's hood,  
England repent, and for this Parliament pray,  
Sith th'devil strives to hurt thee every way.  
FINIS.