AN HONEST ANSWER TO THE LATE PUBLISHED apology FOR PRIVATE PREACHING. WHEREIN, Is justly refuted their mad Forms of Doctrine: (As.) Preaching in a Tub. Teaching against the back of a chair. Instructing at a Tables end. Revealing in a Basket. Exhorting over a Buttery Hatch. Reforming on a Bed side. With an Objection to their Common plea of Divine Inspiration, directly (without passion) proving there is but nice distinction betwixt the Brownists and Papists, who have been equal Disturbers of the State yet in continual controversy one against the other. With an Argument against Round Heads. LEVIT. Chap. 19, verse 27. Thou shalt not Round the Corners of thy Head, neither shalt thou marr● the Tufts of thy Beard. By T. J. July. 7. Printed for R. Wood, T. Wilson, and E. Christopher. An Honest Answer to the late published apology for private Preaching. TO you whose ambition (not conformity) aims to be the Elect) I write this Answer to your late printed Apology; with the confidence of Democritus I can as justly laugh at you, as he did at the egregious crimes of the Athenians, and (since you have with serious folly and devout ignorance) made yourselves ridiculous, I hold it altogether unnecessary to write or speak of you but in the way of Mirth, which if your large ears will attend, you shall have so to the purpose, that if you were wise enough, you should laugh at yourselves, at least at your follies. I commend your wisdom in forsaking Churches, for (as you have wisely chose it) a stable is fitter for you; and (to speak truth) a Tub is more necessary for a cobbler than a Pulpit, thus far I hold with your apology; but, notwithstanding, if I prove you not all Mad men and fools, to maintain the proverb, I will give you leave to ride me; the wisest man thinks he hath no knowledge, because there is so much to know: there were some hope of your Reformation, if you were but wise enough to know you are fools: First, I will prove you Mad men; I shall make fools of you hereafter: (and that you'll say is impossible.) in the first place (according to my observation of the times; let a fellow come amongst you with some humourous Pamphlet, wherein roundheads are mentioned, though there be neither Name nor Trade specified, nor no man's private Reputation wronged, without Law or Reason by a crew of men he knows not, he must be beaten or kicked (as the spirit moves you) from the place; and if such unlawful violence have any relation to Religion I am an heretic, all actions that tend to the maintenance of true piety are performed by Order; the Elements observe their centres; the sun, Moon, and stars keep their direct motions, (Creatures only by Nature instructed) but zeal in a Round-head is like fire given to a Granado, the strange Materials in disordered Flight, hazard both Friend and Foe. Your desires and hopeful intentions to alter the Government of this glorious kingdom, with the laws and Liberties of King and Subject, long since begun, advanced, confirmed and established by many pious Princes, will appear like some curious and transcendent well erected palace, whom ignorance would raze in hope to raise it better; but beware lest whilst you are delving in the Foundation, the lofty Structure fall not heavy on you; To you and none but you, whose unhallowed throats have belched profaneness to the Lord's Anointed do I direct this language; to you that are uncircumscribed men, yet would confine a Monarch; what Order Rule, Edict, or Act of Parliament had you for your tumultuous Confluence at Westminster? when men of all sorts and sizes that bore disorder in their expedition in a confused March were armed with hasty weapons of such various forms, as if they had newly come from the valiant Robbery of some old Magazine? when as I passed by them muffled in my cloak unarmed (fearing no danger, cause I meant none) I heard them ask each other, whether or to what purpose they were going, which question could scarce be resolved by one amongst ten; what was all this but madness, and what hath the effect of it been but desolation ever since to all his majesty's loyal and filial fearing Subjects? But I am too serious; I have spoke so honestly, that I fear you understand me not: I shall now begin to refute your apology. Must knowing well-bred men whose sacred hours have been spent with much industry in the search of Holy Fathers for their Comments on the Old and New Testament, be now (by ridiculous counsel) brought to hear the Doctrine of an inspired cobbler, because he is reported to be at the mending hand, and brings his work to good ends: or a Weaver, because man's life is compared to a Shuttle; or a Tallow-chandler, because our lives go out like a snuff. Then again, is there no difference betwixt Churches and taverns, alehouses, private Chambers, Stables, and such like places, is the Church less sacred, which is made odoriferous with the perfume of Prayer and penitential balm of Sinners tears, accepted Sighs and sacramental vows; when our Saviour said, My House is called the House of Prayer, but you have made it a den of thieves: he spoke neither of a tavern, nor an alehouse, but a Temple, consecrate to his divinity: What a ridiculous thing is it to see a Fellow with a starched face screw his body into twenty postures, sitting in a Tub, as if he were moulding of cocklebread, yet is as zealous in this serious folly, as if he thought he should go quick to Heaven in Elisha's Chariot; but let me tell you that know not, this word zeal doth not signify Religion, but an ardency to any thing; I remember two Lines of my old Friend, Mr. Tho. Randolph, who says thus in a well-penned Poem of his: — where heresy gets in, Zeale's but a coal to kindle greater sin. Such zeal is theirs, I'll not believe every man that dies in the confirmation of his profession departeth truly Religious, because I see men daily more violent in the maintenance of unjust actions, than men Religious, whose patience is sufficient Fortitude, and can gain a conquest without fury. I will now answer their plea of Divine Inspiration. They manifest to the world, that any layman may be inspired by the Holy Ghost to Preach and Teach, and no man must be this Sanctified Temple but a tradesman; they hold it almost impossible for a scholar, endued with celestial Knowledge, acquainted with the sacred lives of Saints, delivered to him by the precious benefit of Study, in which the Arts assist him, to have the Endowment of this Divine Inspiration, yet they are sure on't, that they dare judge and justify; which rather shows them filled with spirits diabolical; since the sacred hand of the eternal Maker hath rrevocably set down, judge not lest you be judged; Let any honest man inform me what affinity there is with Divine Inspiration and these following Actions: James 2. 18. Show me thy Faith by thy works, Libelling against the King and his Authority. Defacing Churches. Disturbing Divine Service. Making the House of God a place for Ri●●. Laying violent hands on Preachers, and tearing off their Vestments. Profaning the blessed Sacrament of baptism, by bringing Puppets to the Font to be Christened. With many great ills more, too tedious to relate, because to grievous too hear; if any man will maintain these to be righteous actions, my reason is in a labyrinth, and I shall be engaged to him for any light to lead me out of it. Now I shall as well and as briefly as I can show you the nice distinction between a Papist and a Brownist. 1. Neither of them will take the Oath of allegiance and Supremacy, there methinks they might agree like traitors, and hang together. 2. They have both the trick of wresting Scripture to their own use. 3. A friar is cut as Round as a Round-head, and hath as much sauce at each side of it. 4. If the Papist set up the picturcs of S. Augustine, S. Bernard, S. Chrisostome. The Brownists will set up St. B. St. Ba. St. P. Marry he will not come to auricular confession, as the Papist doth; because of an old proverb, confess, &c. I would the Land were clear of both, we might live all in peace, and in the true fear and worship of God, and observation of the King's laws; for to speak indifferently, they are equal Disturbers of the state, and a great injury to the weak and ignorant who are so distracted betwixt them both, they know not which side to hold with: so that some are to choose their Religion, when they should be established, and confirmed in it, and able to instruct others? I will now conclude with a Comment on these lines, which are in Leviticus, in the administration of the old law. LEVIT. 19 2. Thou shalt not Round the Corners of thy Head, neither shalt thou mar the Tufts of thy Beard. You may understand that have a mind to it, how contemptible a Round-head was at the beginning of the world, and joined with no less commandments than those against murder, adultery, Fornication, Sorcery, Incest; and by that consequence as much to be observed; we must needs, according to Nature and Reason, allow that Adam in his glorious state of Innocence wore his hair long and lovely; and no question being of the great maker's making, the Lord saw that it was good, the very same words he expresseth upon all h●s works: This is a plain Argument that God never made a Round-head, but man hath made himself one, contrary to the law of God, which saith, Thou shalt not Round the Corners of thy Head &c. Nature hath been ever counted provident, not superfluous; he that made each limb you have, made every hair of your head, and by that sequel it is no sin to wear it; no question but man appeared very beautiful in his long hair that God would give command he should not Round it. What a strange contradiction is this Age guilty of, that is so far from the observation of this law, that contrarily they conceive a man to be a Ruffiian or Reprobate that wears long hair. I do not (though) make any great apology for long or short, for I could wish that hair might make no difference in Religion, for my part he that cuts his hair off let him cuts Head off if he will, it shall not trouble me. I'll only sing one short Sonnet which I will title the roundheads funeral, and so conclude till further occasion. THE SONG. To the Tune of, Turn again Whittington. DOwn fall those Beetle-brains, who have expounded False Doctrine in their Tubs, and truth confounded, The glorious peace we had by them lies wounded, No men in thoughts so bad ever abounded: That I could wish they were all hanged or drowned. We might say there's an end of a Right Round-head. FINIS.