Mercurius Aqvaticus, OR, THE water-poets answer TO ALL THAT hath or shall be Writ by Mercurius Britanicus. Ex omni ligno non fit MERCURIUS. Printed in the wain of the moon Pag. 121, and Number 16, of Mercurius Britanicus. 1643. Mercurius Aqvaticus Confuting the Fooleries of BRITANICUS. BE it known to all People to whom these presents shall come, that I Thorny Aylo Water-Poet laureate (if my place be not sequestered for the use of Tho. May for his poetical relation of his excellency's Victory at Newbury, and more poetical interpretation of TOUCH NOT MINE anointed) whose Pegasus was a Wherry, and whose Helicon the Thames, till all Wit and Honesty were banished out of London, except what lies 〈◊〉 in the Close-Committee) do resolve once and but once to take into little consideration, one that calls himself by the high and mighty title of Mercurius Britanicus, who by Order of the House is made Receiver general of all Quibbles, Crops, Clinches, Puns, half-jests, jests, fine sentences, witty-sayings, rare truths, modest and dutiful expressions that are to be found within the Line of Communication, to the utter undoing of poor Mercurius Aulicus, did not such a doughty Squire as myself deign to take up that Paper which Aulicus scorns to touch for fear of fouling his fingers.) And though I count the employment more fit for some scavenger or Gregory, than myself, yet that the City may no longer worship a calf (set up since the demolishing of Cheapside-cross) and that the Abettors of such horrible empty libels, may see that 〈◊〉 is not safe wit. I shall for once undertake him. And because I have as little skill in judicial Astrology as Booker, I have calculated his Nativity, and find the Moon (not Mercury) Lord of the Ascendent. This makes the poor man's cold, thin, waterish brain so subject to ebbs and flows, which inclines him to Moon-fits, and Lunacy. This makes him to rave and snap, to foam at Mouth, and drivel like a mad dog. And therefore because I have some skill in Medicines (though I cannot cure the lousy disease) I shall venture to cure his biting with a piece of his own Liver. But because he admires his own language (having a very unhappy Wit) he shall receive his answer in That, the Persons and Scene only altered for my little Wit-cracker. Mutato nomine de Te Fabula. You see I have gathered some scraps of Latin since I came to the university; if it please the City, they may petition that the Synod may be sent hither to learn some also. And now rumpantur ut ilia Codro, here enters Mr Rhombus Britanicus, chief Pedagogue to all the Puisney news-mongers, from the A. B. C. three days' Informer, to the liar of the first form, the Scottish Dove, his face of late more plump and ruddy since employment, but his hair somewhat shorter, his skull (or place where his brains should be) covered with half a dozen nightcaps; to keep it from adling this Winter (how now man? if Sir John left Winter at Gloucester, who has left it at London, there is a true jest now, but just of thy strain.) Over this a long crowned Hat (the last Legacy of a Lay elder of Amsterdam) a Geneva band, doublet and Hose, out of the Wardrobe for Ireland, which by a mistake and contrary wind, was since carried into New England; his gown well lined Checquee, with Fox and seal skin, and if after you have heard his Tale, and Aquaticus' Answer, you find no wit in either, then laugh at Britanicus that is such a dull piece to work on. See here he comes, just as he came from London. Mercurius Britanicus: Communicating the affairs of Great Britain: For the better information of the people. Numb. 16. From Thursday the 7 of Decem. to Thursday the 14. Decemb. 1643. §. 1. The ingredients whereof Mercurius Aulicus is composed. THough I thought it beneath my pen to dip into the lies, and follies, and Calumnies of such an Oxford Pamphlet, yet because I was informed it was not the Act of one, but many: viz. Derkenhead the Scribe, 〈◊〉 Nicholas the Informer, George Digby the contriver, and an assessment of Wits is laid upon every college, and paid weekly for the continuation of this thing called Mercurius Aulicus, upon these considerations, and to vindicate the Honour of a Parliament, I took my pen, I have discovered the Lies, forgeries, insolences, impieties, profanations, blasphemies, Popery of the two sheets, and now I have done; and you most excellent Senators, that you may see how justly I replied, and how unjustly ye are calumniated, I have summed up his last abused printed at Oxford, formerly an university, now a Garrison of Popery, His Majesties own royal Court for the recreation of their Nobility, and Gentry, and Clergy, and other Liege People. § 2. A Catalogue, &c. A Catalogue of the Abuses, Reproaches, and Calumnies; against this present Parliament, this last week in the first sheet. 1. Rebels at Westminster. 2. Pretended houses. 3. East-Indian legislators. 4. Turks. 5. Pretended Houses. 6. Pretended Houses. 7. A groundless horrid Rebellion. 8. The Frauds and Pretences of the rebels at Westminster. 9 Their bloody League at London. 10. Forswearers of all peace. 11. Faction. 12. Rebels. 13. Rebels. 14. Rebels. 15. Rebels. 16. Rebels in England. 17. Brownists. 18. Anabaptiss. 19 An Order of the House to the eternal shame of the Rebels at Westminster. 20. Pretended House of Commons. 21. Pretended Houses. 22. The pretended two Houses. 23. The Faction. 24. The Rebels at Westminster. 25. Faction and Pretended Houses. §. 3. Reader this is a just account of the first shect of that idle, scurrilous, ridiculous, treasonable, insolent Pamphlet, do you think this is written in defence of the privileges of Parliament? Are not here a reasonable company of abuses to be in the Preamble of the Pamphlet? What will these act abroad amongst a credulous and seduced people, especially so religiously, and devoutly begun upon Sundays, but I cannot stir till I Petition his majesty. §. 4. Britanicus Petition to the King. The Humble Petition of Britanicus to his majesty. MAy it please your majesty, after so much bloodshed of your own Subjects, after so many plunderings by your royal nephews, be pleased to remember your 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 of your care and respect to your two Houses, that they should be as dear to you, as your honour and 〈◊〉, be pleased to 〈◊〉 you called them your Parliament in your late Treaty, and now there is a Pamphlet, a thing, a 〈◊〉 of sheets, a Mercurius Aulicus, abuses, rails, miscalls your majesty's supreme Court, and your 〈◊〉 too, in your political 〈◊〉: I beseech your Majesty if those Declarations or Protestations were of your Majesties own making, remember them and your royal obligations, if not, Your Petitioners shall ever pray, &c. §. 5. Small 〈◊〉 to obtain his Petition, and 〈◊〉 reason. This is my Petition to his 〈◊〉, but there are so many 〈◊〉 counsellors about him, I despair of prevailing, when his great council the Parliament cannot be heard; nay now when Davis the barber is turned privy councillor too, I never look to see his majesty trimmed hereafter for the Protestant Religion, for I am informed that fellow shaves with Popish razors, and cuts with 〈◊〉 scissors, and washes in holy water, there are diverse bottles come 〈◊〉 to the Court sent from his holiness own Barbour. §. 6. The power that is given to the East-Indian Merchants. Aulicus tells us, that the Parliament hath given power to the East-Indian. Merchants to impose new Laws; Aulicus, is not this a more precious Act to keep up Trading, then to plunder it, and to give power for Laws, then to take away all power and Laws too, as your Party, in all places they come, do; nor do they give power to them to impose Laws, but to contrive and suggest, as no council, 〈◊〉 estate in the world but will take hints at inferiors, especially those that are 〈◊〉 and knowing men; but I must tell you, that the Merchants, though they trade in East India, yet their Factors say that the Indians are better to trade with, and converse with, than your 〈◊〉, and have less barbarism and inhumanity. §. 7. Assembly to write to foreign States. He tells us of the Parliament that 〈◊〉 ordered the Assembly to write Letters to stir up the Netherlands, and other parts in the Cause: Aulicus it is time I think, had they not need to write to 〈◊〉 States, and all the Reformed Churches, when you at Oxford have sent your Mendicant Epistles to the Pope and Cardinal, and are at this time electing Doctor Cousins 〈◊〉 〈◊〉- flamen to go a pilgrimage to the Monasteries, and Priories, and Popish States for their assistance and Contributions, you have sent old Goring the Publican into Holland, and so to France, he is excellent at an Ambassage of monopolising, and a very worthy Patriot at a Project of soap or salt-petre. §. 8. Lord Ormond's warrants. He tells us of the Lord of Ormond's Warrants for transporting the Regiment: Reader this is Ormond the Apostate, who was hired from the Parliament and Protestant Cause with the title of a 〈◊〉, this is he that fought very well, till he got his jewel, and for the other Diamond the Parliament might have bought him again. §. 9 Ormond's oath to them that come over. He tells us of the oath that Ormond administers to all that comes over; 〈◊〉 you must know that is the old policy still, to swear them for the Protestant Religion; and it is resolved on at the Cabinet or 〈◊〉 in the Queen's Closet, that Popery be not named yet, till the Protestants be a little more cut of their wits, which they hope will be soon effected by companying together, and having Churches together, and by bringing the mass and the commonprayer a little better acquainted, but the oath begins. §. 10. The oath. I. A. B. resting fully assured; viz. (that his majesty will ruin his kingdom of Ireland and England with running these courses) I will 〈◊〉 the true Protestant Religion established in the Church of England, viz (in York Minister, or Saint Mary's in Oxford, or any such reformed 〈◊〉 all:) against all the Forces now under the conduct of the Earl of Essex: viz. (because they fight for the Protestant Religion, and Laws, and Liberties:) and I will do my utmost to procure the Peace and quietness of the kingdom of England: viz. (by 〈◊〉 obbing, fighting, pillaging, and plundering, killing, and destroying) §. 11. One of Aulicus his victories. He tells us of a Victory they had upon us at Stafford: and Reader, it was thus; they had two troops to charge us, and we took the most of them: and yet Aulicus has the conceit they had the day, and we their men and horses; I know not how to distinguish upon days and victories, but I think it is not usual to conquer, and be routed both at a time, but this is not the first victory they have given thanks for, witness Edgehill and Newbury, two places in which they were soundly beaten into a day of thanksgiving. §. 12. Sir William Brereton's Letter. He tells us of Sir William Brereton's Letter to the Irish Commanders to leave fighting, and expounds every line of it as he did a Chapter in the 〈◊〉, where he took his Text it seems last Sunday in 〈◊〉 sorenoon, and expounded Sir William Brereton's Epistle in the afternoon, and so he divided the Sabbath. He tells us of the Letter which the Irish Commanders returned to Sir Williams. §. 13. The Answer to Sir William's Letter. Gentlemen we were not engaged to the service of Ireland otherwise then by the King's Commission: no, did you fight neither for God, nor your country? the service we have done; in leaving the kingdom of Ireland to the mercilesle bloody Rebels, and making a base, dishonourable, and irreligious Peace: envy itself dares not extenuate, why do you threaten her? it is pity such deserving Gentlemen were not landed in a richer Teritory than Wales: and though we are very sensible, of the good plunder in England, and of every thing but Popery: how worthily we have carried ourselves, in coming 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 from fighting against the 〈◊〉 in Ireland, to fight for them in England: by your preteneded Parliament, a very old title; Aulicus taught you 〈◊〉 yet we are not returned hither without his majesty's special Commission: we are more sorry to hear his Majesty hath such a hand in it, you do well to confess the truth: If you have the like Commission 〈◊〉 the King: no, we should be sorry we had, nor could we ever get so near him for evil Counsellors, that have stood in the way: we shall Treat with you: you are good at 〈◊〉, you came lately from a bloody pacification in Ireland, and the drops of so much innocent blood sticks upon your clothes yet, otherwise you must give us leave: What to do, to murder his majesty's Subjects, to bring in Popery and 〈◊〉 to carry ourselves like 〈◊〉 and loyal Subjects, in killing and plundering Michael Earnele, Francis Butler. Richard Gibson, Edward Hamond. George 〈◊〉. These are the names, if any man can charge them with more than I have done. §. 14. 〈◊〉, if I say no more to thee at this time, thank the 〈◊〉 of Master Pym. §. 15. Gloucester news. The Intelligence. I Shall begin at Gloucester with news, that very place where colonel Massey 〈◊〉 against the whole Army, against all their shot, and oaths, and execrations, that very place where his Excellency arrived with no less honour than he returned, it being 〈◊〉 a question, whether of his laurels were the best, that of Gloucester, or that of Newbury: Not far from this City, at Newnam, colonel Sir John Winter would needs set up a new Government, and had some Forces from the Lord Herbert, as many as he could well spare, to be beaten at one time; but colonel Massey, I mean that same colonel that was attended by his majesty's Army so long, went with a Party from his Garrison, and dissolved Sir John Winter's Government, and disgarrisoned his Army Royal, and his plundered cattle, so as they all run away, crying, all was lost, after Sir John's own example: but I conjecture the cause was, for that Colonel Winter was of too cold a constitution for colonel Masseys hot alarm: but that which is strangest in that defeat, Sir John run away, and yet left Winter behind him. I should tell you more Intelligence, but I am not able at this time to write beyond Master Pym, and this elegy I shall sacrifice to his Hearse. An elegy on Master Pym. NO immature or sullen Fate Did his immortal soul translate, He passed gravely hence even Kept the old pace, from earth to heaven; He had a soul did always stand Open for 〈◊〉, like his hand, He took in so much, I could call Him more than individual, And so much business waited by, Would scarcely give him leave to die; He knew the bounds, and every thing Betwixt the people and the King; He could the just Proportions draw Betwixt Prerogative and Law; He lived a Patriot here so late, He knew each syllable of State, That had our Charters all been gone, In him we had them every one; He durst be good, and at that time When innocence was half a crime; He had seen death before he went, Once had it as a token sent: He surfeited on State affairs, Died on a pleurisy of cares, Nor doth he now his mourners lack, We have few souls but go in black, And for his sake have now put on A solemn Meditation. tears are too narrow drops for him, And private sighs, too straight for Pym; None can completely Pym lament, But something like a Parliament, The public sorrow of a State, Is but a grief commensurate, We must enacted passions have, And laws for weeping at his grave. Printed according to Order, for G. B. and R. W. Mercurius Aquaticus his Answer to BRITANICUS. §. 1. Though I thought it beneath my pen to dip into the lies, 〈◊〉, and Calumnies of such a foolish London pamphlet, yet because I was informed, it was 〈◊〉 the 〈◊〉 of one but many, which for a while made me think this monster-piece of vanity was the abortive issue of Mr Saltmarsh the Scribe, till I remembered he had spent more than all his own Wit upon his Epigrammatasacra: the close-committee the Informer, till I considered that it stood not with the Policy of their State, that they should inform any but the Close-Committee of them common-council, that should inform Captain Ven, that should inform the prentices and Butchers when 'twas fit to make a tumult at 〈◊〉, and the Brownists when at Westminster, and also the women and schoolboys to petition against Popery & evil Counsellors; Tom May the Contriver and chief Engineer, but that I thought he was better at Translation than Invention) and especially because I heard an assessment of 〈◊〉 was laid upon the Synod, and every Lecturer, and private conventicler, from Mr Martial at Margaret's to Green the Feltmaker in the Tub, and paid weekly for the continuation of this thing called 〈◊〉 Britanicus, upon these considerations, and not to vindicate Aulicus, (who is only unhappy in that he must weekly write to their capacity who have no more Brains than Britanicus) I resolved to take 〈◊〉 Pen, 〈◊〉 discover the Fooleries, 〈◊〉, 〈◊〉, 〈◊〉, 〈◊〉, 〈◊〉, 〈◊〉, Brownism, 〈◊〉 of the one sheet; and now I have done, and you most worthy Patriots and Noble 〈◊〉, whose valour and loyalty are the constant 〈◊〉 of Aulicus, that you may see how 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 reply, and how unjustly you and Anlicus are calumniated, I have summed 〈◊〉 last 〈◊〉 abuses, painted at 〈◊〉 (〈◊〉 a scene of Loyalty, and never tainted till now 〈◊〉 was betrayed into a Garrison of 〈◊〉 and tame Citizens, that are their own Masters and their own Slaves) wherein once 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Palace, all ways open for the free 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 all Petitioners, and His Great council of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, and 〈◊〉, and a safe harbour for His Liege People, 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 of cobblers and prentices, prodigious Covenants, and 〈◊〉 of Taxes for the propagation of Rebellion, forced all Honest 〈◊〉 thence. §. 2. A catalogue of the abuses, 〈◊〉, calumnies, traitereous and Rebellious speeches against His sacred Majesty, the Nobilily, Gentry, and other Liege People this last Week, by which 'tis evident the Authors (for they style themselves your Petitioners, pa. 122) are rather a lunto of Belins-gate Oyster wives, (whose daughters write short hand, and frequent M. Calamy, Case, Peter, to furnish out the railing Conventicle with sanctfied Blasphemies, Treasons, Forgeries, hot from the Pulpit) than any that favoured of the ingenuity and education of a scholar, or a soldier. 1. Secretary Nicholas the Informer, George Digby contriver of the lies, 〈◊〉, and Calumntes of an Drford Pam, phlet. 2. Lyes, forgeries, insolences, impieties, profanations, blasphemies of the two sheets. 3. Drford formerly a University now a Garrison of Popery. 4. 〈◊〉, Scurrilous, ridiculous, treasonable, insolent Pamphlet. 5. Credulous and seduced People to believe Aulicus. 6. * If the Parliament are offended at any thing in Aquaticus, let them consider what 'tis to suffer such treasonable blasphemies against the Lord's Anointed to be priated according to Order. Your Dasesties so much bloodshed of your own Subjects. 7. So many Plunderings by Your royal nephews. 8. If your Declarations and Protestations were of your Dajesties own making, 9 Evil councillors about his Dajesty. 10. His Majesty not 〈◊〉 for the Protessant Religion. 11. Irimd with Popish 〈◊〉, consecrated scissors, and holy water. 12. 〈◊〉 bottles of it sent to Court from his holiness own Barber. 13. Indians have less Barbarisine and inhumanity than his maajestes' best Subjects. 14. Mendicant Epistles sent to the Pope and Cardinals. 15. Doctor Couns the Arch flamin sent to Popish States for assistance. 16. 〈◊〉 the Publican excellent at monopolising, a Projector. 17. Drmond the Apostate. A catalogue of other notable Passage. 1. Truths, God bless us. 'tis high time for the Parliament, and they had never more need to write for help to foreign States. 2. Politic 〈◊〉. No council nor estate in the World but will take hints at inferiors, especially those that are scientifical and knowing men. 3. Politic discourses. As that of the Cast India Merchants, far beyond Sir Pol. onions, and Tar. Paulin. 4. Subtle distinctions. Of His majesty's royal Person from His political capacity, which savours of the subtle logic of Goodwin the Socinian, creature to my Lord Say. 5. Gross forgeries beyond that of the Danish fleet, and the men's Training under ground. As the intelligence from 〈◊〉. 6. Imitations of Aulicus. As the descanting and Paraphrase on the Irish Oath, and the Commanders letter. 7. Jests, half-jests, Puns, clinches, and Quibbles. I dare throw Winter or Summer with you that there's none of these in the whole book. 8. Downright Popery. The Canonization of Mr. Pym before his going into Purgatory, and sacrificing at his hearse. 9 Good Popery. As 〈◊〉 Pyms Clegy. To which add three tales of a Tub, or three blue beans in a bladder, and you have the ingredients of the last weeks Britanicus. §. 3. And Reader this is the just account of the one shéets, of that idle, scurrilous, treasonable, insolent Pamphlet, do you think this was written to procure the peace of the kingdom in defence of His majesty's Honour and Prerogative, and to make Him the gloriousest Prince in Christendom. Are not here a treasonable company of abuses, and in the substance of the Pamphlet? What will these act at home amongst a credulous and seduced people, especially so Religiously Lectured and Trained to Rebellion upon Sundays? But I cannot 〈◊〉 till I Petition the New Assembly. §. 4. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. Petition to the NewAssembly. The humble Petition of Aquaticus to A NEW ASSEMBLY, prophetically Anagrammatized and called at their Anabaptism in the River of Bowe MANY blue ASSES. MAy it please you, Religions, learned, and reverend Men, fathers, and brethren (I cry your fatherhoods mercy, if I miscall you, I had the title from Fr: Cheynells discovery, one of the mad Fathers of your fraternity) after so long sitting to no purpose; So many Sermons and discourses writ in defence of this present Rebellion, after so many encouragements of the Brownists in all their wild plunderings, after so long 〈◊〉 to the prayers and prayers, and sighs and prayers, and prayers and Sermons of the Lady 〈◊〉, against the final falling away of her Knight, be pleased to remember your so often taken oaths of Allegiance and Supremacy, not to be dispensed with all even by pope Calamy and pope Burges, and be sure to take into your misunderstanding the established protestant Religion, and because you intend to alter the Articles of the Church of England, be sure first you send to your Deacon, Sir Harry vain the younger, to treat with the Reformed Churches, that this may be done, the Harmony of concessions not withstanding. And because you intend to banish the Common prayer Book out of England, because 'tis popishly affected, you were best also silence the use of the Lord's prayer, for the same reason, because 'tis found in the mass-book and Lady's Psalter, besides 'tis a set form of prayer, and therefore a stinter of the spirit; and besides you and your disciples are resolved never to forget trespasses, nor remember benefits. And since you are upon the correcting the Creed, for the cause sake which might be much prejudiced by the Opinion that there's a Hell, let the article of Christ's descent for the word Hell's sake be struck out. Furthermore (because the lesuits make great use of your schisms and Factions, saying, that you have more Factions, than Conventicles, more Religions than men) be pleased in the next place to undertake the reconciliation of the Presbyterians and Independents, the Sabbatarians and Covenanters, with the Antinomians and Libertines, the rigid Calvinists with the Socinians, the protestation and Covenant with the oaths of Supremacy and Allegiance, and last of all yourselves with yourselves, a work of very easy task, especially when the Houses shall recover their power from the common-council. Furthermore, I beseech you justify yourselves from the scandal of the Papists, who say, our Religion is but merely Parliamentary, and subject to translation, for some politic turn, every third year, and for proof, they urge the Lay Elders of the House of Commons, a ruling part of your Conventicle, and that you dare not think of any Religion, but what they shall dictate to you. Next I desire you to neglect the true staring of the question of 〈◊〉, and to consider whether this everlasting Parliament may not be rather proved to be jure divino, from the example of the Jewish * or LXX Sanhedrim, than this present Rebellion justified by the example of David; and that you would also furnish the Brethren, and the 〈◊〉 of the Philistim-writers against Dr Fearne with better arguments and answers, or else wholly to suppress them (for this is the Jesuites policy, whose footsteps you follow, though you go back wards) lest the people reading the doctor's arguments, though mangled and abused in their Pamphlets, should at last be undeceived. Lastly, I desire you to state the question affirmatively, that the same person may be a clergyman and layman at the same time, because otherwise me thinks Mr Martial and Mr Nye, could not be admitted of the Close Committee, nor employed in Embassage to Farraigne States, because a late act this Parliament, forbids Clergy men to intermeddle in secular affairs, and if they were laymen only, methinks your grave Fatherhoods would exclude them the pulpit at Margaret's. And because you are never like to find Scripture or Reason or Fathers to persuade your Religion, I beseech you to consider of setting the Inquisition up in London, which is already made feasible by the merciful dealing of the Committee for Religion. Mr. Burton is able to justify it from Scripture, and Mr Prinne will establish it by Law, and Mr St John's show a precedent for it, out of the Records in Lowlards' Tower. And because you are not to determine any thing, but what is resolved at the Close Committee, and they, at this present have more weighty affairs to consider of then Religion, be pleased at this your leisure (because you have little else to do, and you must not go forward with the notes upon the Bible) to write a weekly comment upon Britanicus, that men may the better understand his hidden wit, or else instead of confuting the lesuits, pray undertake in his behalf the confutation of Aquaticus. And because studying and long prayers, especially disputations in mood and figure, will extremely wast your spirits, and haften your death, to the eternal loss of ignorance and Faction, the parents of this zealous Rebellion, be pleased to take a Dose of this cordial Fasting. It will preserve your brain and lungs, and keep you from the danger of the Plague plaster, or the infection of an Answer from Oxford to your grave determinations. Pray send the Bill to Mr Pym's Apothecary, who will very carefully compound it. R. Of Sir Harry Vanes Memory. Of Holland's gratitude. Of Martin's Continence. Of Waller's Valour. Of the Close Committees honesty. 2 grains. ana. One good look from Mr Perd. Two arguments at Law of Sergeant wild own making. Two ounces of the shavings of his excellency's horns, and an ounce and half of the fat of his black calf at Chartley. 1 Scruple of conscience of Mr Martial. 1 headful of jealousies of Say and seal. 1 heartful of fears of Nath: Fiennes. 1 Pound of the City slavery, and half a dram of your own Divinity and logic, ana: 3 Gallons of Orphans and Widdowesteares. Boil all these the length of a Fast Sermon at Margaret's in Balneo, close stopped with a past made of Pembroke's discretion. Your firing by no means must be of New castle Coale, ('twill send all up in Fumo) but of charcoal made out of the Parliaments own woods in their politic capacity. Let it be constantly blowed with the curses of the Excise. And if any one believe the apostasy of the Saints, and therefore doubts his own standing to the Cause, you may infuse three drams of Dr Burges his falling from the sense, and also grace of the House till his late submission. You may take a spoonful of it Fasting, to the enflaming of your zeal, as well as the pŕeserving of your health, which I beseech your grave Fatherhoods to have especial care of, and Your Petitioner shall ever pray, &c. §. 5. Small hopes to abtaine his Petition, and the reason. This is my petition to the Synod, (a little longer I confess then Britanicus his, but his was made for the Court, and mine for the roundheads, who love all long, but their hair, especially long ears, that may have wherewithal to suffer martyrdom, long meals, long graces to help digestion, but there are so many of the Committee for Religion, that watch over them, that 〈◊〉, spaire of 〈◊〉, when the great serviceable rabbi of the 〈◊〉 cannot be heard; 〈◊〉, now when Sir Benjamin Rudyeard is turned Assembly man too, I never look to see our Church 〈◊〉 according to the ancient Primitive Form of Doctrine and discipline, which is the same with the 〈◊〉 Religion her established. 〈◊〉 I am informed that Gentleman 〈◊〉 parson's 〈◊〉 with brownistical 〈◊〉, and cuts Episcopacy with sanctified-presbyterian 〈◊〉, and 〈◊〉 in holy water of the lake Lemannus. There are 〈◊〉 bottles come lately to the new Assembly, and more are daily expected from the Close Committees own 〈◊〉, for the shaving from the face of the Church those superfluous excrements of cathedral Lands; height Mounsieur Salmasius, if the scholars spell his name right. §. 6. The power that is given to marshal and Nye. Aquaticus tells you, that the Parliament did give power to Martial, and Nigh, to contract with the Scots by new Covenants for the ruin of the English Nation, if God prevent not. For shall we think the Scots are such fools, if they conquer, to return back again to their Whig and Scotch porridge, Frost and snow (and little wood) from good featherbeds, gallant houses, English beef, ale, and broadcloth? No, Britanicus, if that day once come, the Brotherhood shall find their Brethren of Scotland will be the Elders, and carry away the Land. And is not this a more treasonable Act to destroy Trading, advance Plundering, and ruin the whole Nation, only to secure the five Members (which yet you see cannot escape God's vengeance) from a legal trial, rather than that of furthering an honest modest petition for peace? Is not this to give power for licence, and to take away all power and laws too, as your party in all places where they come do; 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 they only give power to them to impose new Covenants to another Nation, but to contrive and suggest them, as no council 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 in the world ever did to such contemptible inferiors, especially to those that are so little scientifical 〈◊〉 knowing men. But I must-tell my Merchants of London, though they 〈◊〉 greedily trade into Scotland for the present, whatsoever their 〈◊〉 and Lecturers tell them, the Cavaliers are far better to trade with and converse with then your Round heads, and have a thousand times less barbarism and inhumanity. But they will believe this too lat. §. 7. He tells you of the Parliament that hath ordered the Assembly, that have odrered their Deacon, Sir Harry 〈◊〉 to carry Letters to Zurich, and to 〈◊〉 up the 〈◊〉 and other parts, that in case the Synod should be dissolved they may have a place assigned them to sit in safety, to determine of rules that shall never guide the Brownists and Anabaptists two days together. And it seems 'tis high time; when they have sent their 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 (by their two legates a Latere) to the Family of Love, their Brethren in Scotland, when old Fines the Publican who hath sat so long at the Receipt of custom (so excellent at the contriving and managing a Rebellion, as also at an 〈◊〉 of more contribution to the common council, and a very worthy Patriot at a Project of public Faith, Land in Ireland, Newcastle Coles and Excise) now begins as much to despair of the success of the Cause, as of freeing Nath: Fiennes, or getting Goodwin, that Arch-Socinian to be admitted into the New Assembly, §. 8. Lord Lessyes' Warrants. He tells you of Lesly's Warrants for transporting his fellow rebels: Reader this is Lesly the same man still, who though he were honoured by His Majesty with the title of an carl, most unlike a soldier and a Gentleman basely and ingratefully draws his sword against his Prince, to whom he was so obliged for his favour, and Pardon. §. 9 Lesly's Covenant to them that come into England. He tells you of the Covenant Lesly administers to all that come over: for you must know it was the old policy still to swear them for the 〈◊〉 Religion; and it was long since 〈◊〉 on at the Cabinet 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 in Sir Gilbert Gerard's Parlour at Harrow o'th' Hill, that Brownism be not named yet, till the 〈◊〉 be a little more out of their 〈◊〉, by companying together and having Conventicles together, (where the Candle sometimes most unfortunately is put out,) and by bringing extemporary nonsense and Blasphemy in fashion, to the dishonour of all Religion, and the contempt of commonprayer, but the Covenant begins. §. 10. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 I (Ananias Bodkin) resting fully assured that His Majesty labours to preserve His two Kingdoms of England and Ireland from ruin, by lawful and 〈◊〉 courses) will endeavour to overthrow the true Protestant Religion established in the Church of England, (to let up a new nothing not yet hatched at the Close Committee, nor yet thought of by the assemlly, or any Reformed Lecturer) against all the forces now raised by Commission from his Majesty (because they fight for the true Protestant Religion laws and Liberties) and I will do my utmost to destroy the Peace and quietness of this kingdom of England, by robbing, firing, pillaging, plundering, killing and destroying. §. 11. Aquaticus 〈◊〉 a great Victory Sir William Waller had upon us at Basing house, whence he carried no less than forty or fifty carts of our Wounded prisoners in Triumph, and no less than four or five hundred more dead. Which made the Trained Bands so willing to return home, that they might proclaim the cowardice of the Cavaliers, and the Valour of Sir William with weeping eyes to their Wives and Children. And yet Aulicus conceits that they had the day, though you carried home the men in Carts. I know not how to distinguish upon days and 〈◊〉, but I think it is not usual to conquer and be routed both at a time, but this is not the first Victory they have given thanks for, witness Edge-hill, Brainceford, and 〈◊〉, three places in which they were 〈◊〉 beaten into a day of 〈◊〉. §. 12. Sir William 〈◊〉 Letter. He tells you of wise Sir William 〈◊〉 Letter to the Irish Commanders to leave fighting, and erpounded it as seriously as the Assembly will do the Covenant, or M. Martial did this piece of Scripture, The good man is perished out of the earth, at the hideing of 〈◊〉 Pym, where he did not as he ought, divide the 〈◊〉 Scripture from the Apochrypha, but tied the Text and Sermon both together, which was no Sabbaths exercise to the auditor's patience. §. 13. Deest the answer of the Irish commanders. He tells you of the Letters which the Irish commanders returned to Sir William, which because Britanicus hath printed according to Sir William's Copy which he sent to the Parliament, and not according to that which was sent to Sir William, I shall forbear to trouble myself and the Reader, by making the man here eat his own words. This piece is so extreme dull and heauk, that 'tis a task unfit for a schoolboy to reply to. But you must pity the man's heaviness, for alas he tells us, his Wit run all out at his eyes and nose, at the funeral of V. Pym. §. 14. And therefore Reader, if I trouble thee not with this piece of Britanicus, thank the funerals of V. Pym. But yet I am sorry, I must tell you, the poor fellow had so good an excuse to be dull and heavy; and though I cannot make Elegies, yet I pity poor John Pym, that he fell not by the hand of justice, because more (Says the Help to Discourse, a book I commend to your careful perusal) go to heaven from the gallows than the churchyard, and now for our Intelligence a little truer than Britaxicus his. §. 15. Gloucester news. I shall begin at Gloucester with news, that very place whence his Excellency with his whole army run away with no less dishonour than he came thither with fear, it being yet a question whether of his laurels were the best, that of Gloucester or that of Pewbury, or Edgehill, or Brainceford, or Oxford, where he was well Tamed (there's a Pun half a dram better than yours upon Sir John Winter.) Pot far from this City, yet without the distance of a Mile (for within that compass through the merciless oppression and cruel plundering of the rebels in the town, the 〈◊〉 were forced to burn down their own houses) are Quartered on one side 16. or 1800. old Irish soldiers, on the other side, the loyal Welsh, and elsewhere the oppressed inhabitants of the County of Gloucester, who are all resolved to be revenged for the cruelty of that Rebellious City, which will put Masser, now a Factor for Rebellion, there to his Familiar Epistles, and humble supplications to his Excellency before Winters done. For Sir John is resolved to stay behind in despite of all 〈◊〉 hot alarms. §. 16. Reader this tale upon Sir John was framed at the Staple of news, to bring in the Quibble of Winter, and so I leave my pretty Wit-Harmophrodite made up of Orator and Poet, to sacrifice his Elegy at the Hearse of John Pym. But Sir before you go to your devotions, you must tell me whether he was canonised by the New Assembly (for some doubt whether a Synod has that power) or Pope Martial. And I shall tell you in requital that you must sacrifice no lame things, and shall therefore advise you to send your third Verse, He passed gravely hence, even to M. John Sedgiwicke, the number of whose fingers will make it commensurate. And so having cost my Reader half an hour, and myself an afternoon (my little City Poet) I leave you as I found you, fit only to write Verses on the Death of Mr PYM. FINIS.