OXFORD besieged, Surprised, Taken, and pitifully entered on Monday the second of June last, 1645. by the Valiant Forces of the London and Westminster Parliament.  
WRITTEN, By a Trusty wellwisher of theirs, who steadfastly hopes, and heartily prays, they may have the like prosperous success in all their future undertakings. The Writers name and Surname begins with the 9th letter of the Greek Alphabet, Jo-ta.  
Printed in the last year of the Parliament's reign. 1645.   

OXFORD besieged, surprised, Taken, and pitifully entered, on Monday the second of June last, 1645. by the Valiant Forces of the London and Westminster Parliament.  
LOndon and Westminster, (though neither of you are my Native or natural Mother, yet) I was borne in Gloucester, a City that hath stood to it in our loyal and obedient wars against the King, not much inferior for parliamental obedience or public Faith and Confidence to you, as hath been obstinately manifested. But leaving Gloucester, with her Massy zeal and valour, I return my loving Remembrance to London, who hath been, and is the inexhaustible Magazine for Men, money, and Maintenance, for the supportation of those durable, famous and lasting wars against the King, (which the Cavaliering and Malignant Party calls Rebellion) and which we have causes to call, entitle, nominate, and acknowledge to be the Holy Cause.  
And as our Armies have with unexpected success, been Horrible, Terrible, dreadful, fearful, Victorious, and Invincible, and have foraged through England, Wales, Scotland, Ireland, Coventry, and Canterbury, yet that stiffnecked Generation and People of Oxford, have (till now) stood out in Rebellious opposition against us; for that Academy and City, have ever since these distracted and disturbant times, been the Treasury of Refractory obstinacy, and the storehouse of our mischiefs; whom to suppress and bring into order and conformity, our Almighty Parliament hath sought by all favourable means, and by most persuasive Exhortations from the press and Pulpits, there hath been nothing by us neglected, that might reform them. But finding their obduracy immovable, their inveteracy implacable, and their reducancy impossible; we (out of a Christian care of the future prosperity of that Renowned wellspring and fountain of Learning) much against our pious Inclinations, were enforced to surround it with our Potent and unresistible Forces of hostility, twice in two several years.  
In two months of May, we have given them two gentle and friendly Visitations (viz. 1644, and 1645.) and we always used the most submissive way of Summoning His Majesty and that stubborn City to our obedience. What a fair warning we gave them the first year, is not unknown, and how fairly we came of and on, we have cause to remember, for two great generals and Armies did only face them, as an Instruction for them to avoid their further desolation and calamity. But seeing that gentle and mollifying cataplasms and Pultisses would not serve to soften the Corrodency of their Apostumated Inveteracy, we have now (about the latter end of this last May) in the Whitsun week, vouchsafed to lance her Malignant maladies, and by incision and occission, to let out her malevolent and contagious Corruptions.  
To which end and purpose, our (potent, powerful, perpetual and pitiful) Parliament, begirt and swathed that contumacious City with a strong Swaddle band of war, with four several Armies, which being conjoined into one, with a Quadrapliciticall unity, under the conduction of such a mess (or Murnivall) of martial Commanders, that the like (or braver) Heroes, never issued from the loins of Mars & Belona, amongst whom the most Excellent, Expert, Exact, and Exquisite soldier, Sir Thomasius Fairfax, was Commander in chief, being the admired Agamemnon of our Host, and the only chosen, picked, or cul●'d man amongst men most worthy to be a general Generalissimo. Secondly, the courageous and Treshault Treshnoble Cromwell, showed himself like a blazing fiery comet, full of combustible Valour, and Subitory Expedition. Thirdly, that imp of prowess, the Magazine and arsenal of arms and Military discipline, the never daunted and dreadful Skippon, appeared like the Magnanimous Achilles, with his most unmatchable multitude of Myrmidons. Fourthly and lastly, (but neither last or least in worth) was the Illustrious Bold Browne, in whose brain, the Art of arms is Pyled, and in whose Breast, Honour is billeted, he most Terribly, Fearfully, drew his Trenchant Sword, wherewith he choped in sunder the Faggot-Bond of his fury, insomuch that his flaming Valour (like a burning Bavin) appeared most Refulgently perspicuous to the besieged Oxonians. These four generals (Drawn in their particulars) were quartered in the Villages that do Verge, Fringe, or Girdle the City, namely Kennington, South Hinkesey, West Hinkesey, Botley, Witeham, Wolvercot, Marson, Hedington, Sampford, Ifley, &c. By which means it was so strongly blocked up, that the Garrisons Forces and Inhabitants began to look thin upon the matter, for they were so unprovided, and unprepared to endure a siege, that within five days we brought them to such a hard strait, that Wheat was mounted to the price of 4s. the bushel, Butter and Cheese at 6d and 3d the pound, milk at a penny the quart, but 9 or ten eggs a groat, Radishes a half penny the bunch, a jug of beer 2d, beef and other Flesh so scarce, that none was to be had amongst them (without credit or ready money.) In this extremity, we perceived they were unable to hold out long, therefore our Valiant Commanders, (like the four winds) assaulted them at their four several ports, His Excellency, played the part of Boreas, and blustered Impetuously at the North; Browne with his Brave Bold boys Blew boisterously like Auster at the South; Cromwell Acted the part of Eurus with untireable Snuffing, Puffing, and Huffing at the East; and Skippon (like a second Scipio) raged most Tempestilentially (like Zephyrus) on the West. Thus on all sides, Parts and Portes was Oxford beleaguered, without and within every House, Lane, and Street, was full of Horror, Terror, Trembling like Hills. There you might behold a Woman quaking like a Custard before an Alderman, and in another place another shaking like an Oven; there was careless security in sundry and several shapes and noises, some half, and some whole drunk, some piping and whiffing, some rhyming and singing, some watching and guarding, (not at all regarding either us or any thing that we could do to them) as may appear by a mad fellow that wrote these Verses in a jeering Contempt of us and our Forces. 
For Browne, for Skippon, Cromwell, and for Fairfax,  
We have a well stringed Instrument at Cairfax,  
And that if they do but their work by halves,  
The Parliament would Hang 'em up like Calves.  Some of them said, that our Armies should not offend the Parliament so far, as to do their work by halves, or to do half the work they were sent about; thus continued this hotch potch, mingle mangle galleymawfrey of variable opinions and humourous expressions, for the space of seven days and nine nights, with an afternoon or two; Our Cannons with perpetual battery having disgorged 6789 shot, our Horse, Carbines, and our innumerable Foot environed them round, with groves, thickets, and woods of Pikes, our Mu●kets, petronels, and pistols, breathing flames, and spitting death and destruction. Amongst and amidst these Rough Robustious salutations, and mortal monumental mortuary greetings, one of our Cannons (being) discharged or fired at Random, from his excellency's Quarter at Marson, flew by chance over Saint John's college, and most strangely wheeled about on the left hand, hard by the cross and weathercock on Saint Mary's Steeple; and passing in post hast to Christ-Church, it broke a corner of a window in the great Quadrangle, and from thence it mounted, and took the great lantern on the top of the Hall, which never fell to ground till it droped into Abington market place; just in the same Pavement whereon the Idolatrous cross stood, that was Piously overthrown on the 31 of May, 1644. (much about the month, day, and time of the year as the aforesaid shot fell into Christ-Church) by the most Victorious and vanquished, the Renowned and Nobly slighted, the conquered Conqueror, Sir William Waller; the aforesaid lantern, being now in the tuition of the Valiant colonel Browne, who hath it as a Reward of his Noble services, and is determined to keep it till he dies, and afterwards it is to be hanged up (as a trophy) over his tomb, for a monumental Remembrance to Posterity, of his Valour and Victories.  
But to return to the Siege again; The Reader must understand, that our Parliament are so happy to have such generals and Commanders as are in their Valours, not only invincible, but invisible also. The cannoneers and Gunners had the Art to discharge many hundreds of their Ordnance, and no fire or Bullet to be seen, nor Report of any Gun heard. For of all the great numbers of shot (before specified) there were very few of them came to the knowledge of the Besieged; insomuch that they were uncapable of perceiving any danger they were in. This Rare hidden Art was first invented by an Italian, whom they called Doctor jackaneico, he was an Egyptian witch, (or a cunning man) in the reign of Ptolemy Euergetes King of Egypt.  
By the Command of Sir Tom (his Excellency I mean) there was an artificial natural geometrical Bridge, made over the River Charwell, about a mile from Oxford (North East and by Westward) what good service that Bridge did it is impertinent, and not much material to speak of; But this is certain, that the month of May, ending on the 31, which being Saturday, fell out luckily to be the latter end of the week, the Sunday following proved to be the first day of June, so that (by consequence) Monday was the next day after; on which Monday morning, we had the happiness to gain a glorious Victory. On that day, (that memorable, remarkable, honourable, dainty delicate day) our Forces ascended to the top (or altitude) of Mount Hedinton (vulgarly called Hedinton Hill) but for that day, and on that Hill (to which Hill, Pinda, Ossa, Olympus, Parnassus, Gadds' Hill, Shotover, and suitors Hill, shall hereafter strike sail) our prosperous Parliamentonyans, enclosed, encompassed, environed, enwrapped, enveloped (or what the Reader means to term it) the whole Body, or Bodies of the Malignants, we fought Valiantly, they fell Violently, some dead, some killed, some slain, some hurt, some wounded, some fled, some ran away, some escaped, some taken Prisoners, some put into Bondage, some thrust into Thraldom, and some carried into Captivity, so that in less time then half an hour, the mutability of fickle fortune was apparent, by a sudden turn of her four square-Round wheel, for beyond all expectation, when the Enemy was singing scurvy Songs, & jeering with intolerable abusive Language and gesture, at the Sacred Persons and Honours of those whom they have formerly sworn to obey with Allegiance and Loyalty. Then at that Time, even then, betwixt the hours of two and three in the morning, we fell upon them pell-mell, Helter skelter, where in a moment 40 or 50 fell, to seek their habitation in another world, many were sore wounded; and having thus won the Field, we presently won Oxford, we entered without Resistants at the East, by Saint Clement's, we conquered Maudlin (or Magdalen college) with a bare Summons, we Marched Triumphantly to Cairfax, (and leaving the Gallowse on our right hand) we with force or perforce entered and surprised the Castle, we stayed in the Castle three days, in all which time our generals were so Nobly pitiful, and our other Commanders, Officers, and soldiers so mercifully mannerly, that we neither did the town any harm, or plundered the people of anything (except victuals) but whatsoever we had was freely given to us, nor did any of us so much as give the Oxford folk so much as a hard word, nor troubled them to lie in any of their Beds or foul sheets, or any linen; and was not this a merciful Victory? All this was done by less than 150 Parliament soldiers, in so small or little a time, that it must ever be with thankfulness remembered, and it is not to be doubted, but London and Westminster will express their joyful gratitude, with Bells, bonfires, and an holy public thanksgiving.  
To conclude, I have an humble desire (on Request) to all Valiant men of our Parliament Armies, which is, That they will stoutly, stiffly, and desperately stand and persevere in the Cause, you know that many of us, could never have gotten such Estates by our Trades, as we have purchased by this Trade of war; it is not Loyalty and Allegiance, that will prefer a Tinker to the Estate of a Commander, it is not that beggarly Thing called Honesty, nor that despised fancy of Learning, will bring a man to Promotion, Conscience is a toy, it will never make a cobbler a Preacher, or a woodmonger a Sergeant Major general, or colonel; we are now grammared in our Noble Actions, and a Peace would put very many of us back again to our hornbooks; a just and lawful Peace would cause the King to have His own again, and every man to have his Right; a Peace would restore the Protestant Religion to its Pristine Purity; and then what will become of our Zealous new directory, for a Peace will bring in again, the contemned book of Common Prayer; and finally a Peace would make Thousands of us to surrender so much Pillage and Plunder to the Right owners, that we should be like (Aesop's Crow) poor naked Rogues, when every Bird had his feather from us; Let our Conquests encourage us, let our hopes spur us forward, let our surprise of Oxford, fill our Vei●●● with Valour, and let the 24 Tinkers of Banbury, be our precedents, who (for joy of our Oxonian Victory) have newly braced their Kettle drums for the Entertainment of the Lord Say thither, which they will seal with their Blood●. Let our Preachers Revile, let our Pamphlet writers rail, let Mercurius Britannicus jeer and flourish, let Booker, Ny●, and Lyly, lie on, let us Fight for wealth, and Run away for advantage, we have a Parliament to protect us, and there's an end.   

POSTCRIPT, or an old said saw of the Malignants.  
Wise men Labour, Good men Grieve,  
Knaves invent, and fools believe,  
Then help us Lord, and stand unto us,  
Or Knaves and fools will quite undo us.  
FINIS.