THE Tears of ROME: Or the Despair of the POPE For the Ill Success of the PLOT.  
In a DIALOGUE between the Pope, the Devil, the Jesuit Ignatius, and the Cardinal Barbarin.  The Pope. 
REally Master Devil, I don't know what Name I must give you at this time; for whereas formerly you were the strong upholder of our Reign, now it seems that you are the destroyer of it. You made me hope that I should recover my dear England, if I would but send one of those Light Thunders, that they call Excommunication, but they prove but brutish, and did as an Arrow sent against a Marble-Wall; and so unless you take better Measures, I am afraid I shall be bound to leave your Worship, for to go unto those naked Churches of the Presbyterians, wherein they do serve God only, without any mention of yours.  The Devil. 
Nay, my dear Colleague and Brother, don't run so fast, and believe that I have more than one way to be as good as my word: Hac non Successit, alià tentandum est vià. But I remember I must thank ye for those sweet Burnt-Sacrifices of your Children lately Canonised at Tyburn: No Rost-Beef was ever of better taste, and my Nostrils have been Corked by me for to keep the Smell of it. Now as for the business, I'll tell thee what I think, you must send our Dear Sister Discordia for to set them all by the Ears; and do but say you have got the best of the Noblemen, than it will be an easy thing to undo them all, when you have deprived them of the best Pillars of their Religion and Kingdom. This is indeed the best Advice I can give you; and for that, send some of your Jesuits, make them turn their Religion, if you will, and become of those Proselytes that go to Church, for to get a supply from it; and to accuse and speak the most rashly of all those Heretics of the best Men of the Land, that will be the way indeed.  The Jesuit Ignatius. 
Most Dear and Dreadful Sovereign, of all the Basest Deeds that ever were, pray pardon me, if I tell your half-Divinity, and whole Unworthiness, that I cannot abide any longer Master Devil his talk, that does never nothing but at my Charges; yes I'll tell it, even if it should cost me some stripes obove what is due to me; you never made any step to the worldly and dark Empire, but what was signed with the Blood of my Children. 'Tis true, you flatter me with the name of Martyr's Father and Patriarch; but let me tell you, that all that smoke of honour is no fire for to make the Pot boil; and unless you provide to it, I'll send no more Missionaries, I mean Emissaries: And if you have a mind to Conquer England, you shall go yourself to try, Whether London's Fire is not hotter than your Fanatical Purgatory's Flames.  The Cardinal Barberini. 
Most high and mighty Devil, and you the second King of Darkness, I must confess to you, I am much moved with the Jesuits Reasons; and my sense therein is, that we have lost much in the Father's Whitebread, Harcourt, and the rest; for they were well bred in any kind of Lie, Mental Restrictions, and high Murderers, ready to do any kind of Mischief: wherefore I conclude that they must have the darkest room of Hell, and be carried on the Nero's, Domitian's, Caligula's Banks. And that if there be any other Order of mischievous Monsters, they ought to be set in, but with this grand Prerogative, to be given to no others, of everlasting Enemies of Mankind, Murderers of Kings, the Pope's only Preservers, Pillars of Hell, and Minions of the Devil. And as for the living, they ought to enjoy all the Privileges they can wish; such as are, to Burn, Violate, Poison and undo Princes whomsoever, Houses, Churches, Maids and Women, or any one of what State, Province and Kingdom they be, that ever displeased them any way, and under whatever Justice, or Reason, or Pretence of it.  The Devil. 
Though that was never used since my Reign, yet in consideration of London burnt, of the great Massacre of Ireland, of the great Feast of St. Bartholomew, of the Murder of the two Henry's of France, and of the never to be forgotten Whitebread and Harcourt, I will part with my Authority, and release unto them the Power I have of doing any mischief; and I declare publicly, that I do resign my Devilship unto the Jesuits, give them power to Hurt, Kill, undo whatever they please upon Earth, Sea, Air and Hell; and I do engage my Honour, in the word of an honest Devil, that I will never recall this Privilege.  The Pope. 
As for me, I leave to their honest direction the use of my Keys, and even of the Sword; and do approve all whatever Mischiefs they have done, or ever shall do, and declare for Heretics and Rebellious, all those that will oppose 'em, or any way disturb 'em from their honest practices; declaring, that they have never done any thing, or never shall do, but for my half Godheads Service, Honour and profit of our Church, The Whore of Babylon. And as for the Holy League against England, I do declare it was by my Order, Consent, and at my Request, that the blessed Martyrs, Knighted at Tyburn upon a wooden Horse, went into England, like as Judith or Jael, for to kill that Holofernes or Sisera, Charles, whom they call, as indeed he is in spite of my teeth, King and Lawful Monarch of England, Scotland, France, and Ireland, Defender of the Faith. Which Title indeed was given him by my Predecessors, though it was after his Parliament had bestowed it on him, for good Reasons, a good while before. And I do farther promise in a Pope's word, that I'll cause the Memory of these Martyrs to be honoured throughout all Christendom, with a double Feast in Pontificalibus, as of Virgins and Martyrs; and at the High-Mass it shall be sung, instead of Glory be in Heaven to God, Glory, Honour, and Money be given to the Jesuits, and upon Earth, Poverty and Misery to the Men of goodwill, with an everlasting Excommunication of all those Heretics that will any way defend themselves from their Robbery; for it was agreed, Clavae non errante.  Ignatius. 
I do return my hearty thanks unto your Holiness for this great favour, and I do bind myself, and mine for ever, to pursue, as they have begun to do, any good Deed for you; that is, in plain English, to Kill, Murder, and the like, of those five Labours of our Hercules, James Clement Henry the Third's Murderer, Father Burgoin and Ravilliac the Extirpator of our Enemy Henry, they call the great, Grandfather of this Charles of England King; and that I swear upon the most Holy, after you, Sacrament, and the Holy Ashes of my dear Children Whitebread and Harcourt; and so I pray your Devilship to help me.  
FINIS.