Thamasis' Advice TO THE PAINTER, FROM HER FRIGID ZONE: OR WONDERS upon the WATER.  

Famed Thamasis, with shivering Winter Dresses,  
With Icicles, and other borrowed Tresses,  
And on her Head a Periwig of Snow,  
And freezed Mantle fringed with Ice below,  
Out of her watery Bed, amazed appears,  
And thus the Current of her Language stears.   

Spread a large Canvas, Painter, to contain  
The strange surprising Sights, the numerous Train,  
That all about my Back do walk or sit,  
Of all Degrees, some Sage, some wanting wit,  
For Crowds of People hither do retire,  
As to moorfield's, after the dreadful Fire,  
Threatening the City to depopulate  
As once before it was unfortunate.   


Then draw the King, who on his Leads doth stay,  
To see the Throng, as on a Lord Mayor's day,  
And thus unto his Nobles pleased to say;   
With these Men on this Ice, I'd undertake,  
To cause the Turk all Europe to forsake:  
An Army of these Men, armed and complete,  
Would soon the Turk in Christendom defeat.   


Then draw me Temple-Blanket-street, where all  
The Watermens do loudly cry and bawl,  
Louder than Lawyers in Western-hall.   
Instead of standing at the stairs to ply,  
They say, What is't you lack, what is't you buy?   

And whilst the Rooks do tell an heavy Tale,  
And curse the Frost, they cry, Good Beer and Ale,  
Coffee or Mum or Wine, the heart to cheer,  
Roast Beef, or Mutton boiled, or Brandy clear.  
There mighty Ice Cakes, and Plumb-Cakes are found:  
There all variety of things abound,  
Only green Pease and Cherries, they are rare,  
As Guineas in a Poet's Pocket are.   

Here you may buy a Diamond Ring for nought,  
Such as from India ne'er was brought;  
(The Cuts were Diamond, the Substance, Ice,  
Which in men's Pockets vanished in a trice:  
But for his Cheat, the Man will pay full dear,  
Condemned by my Lord to Whipping Cheer.)   

Then Painter let us to the Print-house go,  
Where Men the Art of Printing soon do know;  
Where, for a Taster, you may have your Name  
Printed, hereafter for to show the same;  
And sure in former Ages ne'er was found,  
A Press to print, where Men so oft were drowned.   

N●xt, notice of the various motions take,  
Some bold as Hector, some for fear do quake,  
One slides, one slips, and one downright doth fall  
Into an Hole, the Scholar than doth bawl,  
What will you rob my Cellar of its drink?  
W●en he, alas, poor man, no harm doth think:   

There Chariots fly, there Coaches run on wheels,  
And men (out-tipling ●f the ●ishes) reels,  
And often up doth go the Woman's heels,  
And something, to remember what she saw, she f●e●●   

The Watermens as busy are as Bees,  
Or as some Welsh men cramming toasted Cheese.  
Instead of Waves that used to beat the shore,  
There Bears and Bull, loudly now do roar.  
There Boats do sl●de, where Boats were wont to row;  
Where Ships did sail, the Watermens them tow.  
All things do move upon this Element,  
As if on Terra fer●a their feet went.   

Hard times the good and righteous God hath sent,  
For our more hardened hearts, as punishment;  
From Heaven thi● Scourge is sent us for our pride;  
We're plagued with Ice, because we do backslide  
The only way these things for to redress,  
Is that each one his Sins to God confess;  
L●t every one sweep clean and neat his door,  
And let our hearts be softened to the Poor.  
Honour the King, and all your Neighbour's love,  
And then the heavens these Judgements will remove.    

London: Printed by G. Croom, on the River of Thames.