The Vindicator Vindicated: OR, A sur-rejoin On behalf of Sir Thomas Player, etc. Against the Calumnies of H. B. alias N. R. alias P. K. alias S. P. in a late Pamphlet Learnedly Entitled An ANSWER in Defence of a REPLY.  
'TIS not without some violence to my own Inclinations, that I come once more to take notice of this man's Impertinencies; Excuse me therefore Readers, if I appear not over-serious Where I have to do with one so completely Ridiculous; For why must we needs use syllogisms to confute the Braying of an Ass, or come forth with Sword and Buckler to Duel the Knight of the Windmills, and Attack a Scarecrow of Beanstalks and Bulrushes? In truth were it not to remove certain mistakes too boldly spread by Ill-designing people, and too unwarily swallowed by some well-meaning Citizens, (more than out of any regard to the merits of his trifling Pamphlet,) I should have left the Angry man to talk alone, and enjoy the glory of the last word, which he shows himself so eager to obtain, though in spite of Reason, and with the entire forfeiture of all the small Remains of his Discretion.  
Our pretended Citizen begins this second paper in the stile of Splitting-Dick; as if he would have us take him for some small Label of the Law or smatterer in Clerkship; But he offers at it so woodenly, that the veriest Fac-simile-Dulman, the sillyest Three halfpenny Hack in all Chancery Lane would be ashamed on't. The said H. B. for further Answer Taken to the Exceptions in the said Vindication, answers and says, If either of the Giants in Guild-Hall can make sense of this, I'll burn west's Precedents, and give him my Green Bag into the Bargain. Nay so accomplished he appears in his own Craft as not to understand the very terms used in the process of a Suit in Equity. For his first Libel which he meant for an Answer he called a Replication; and this, which (according to his reckoning) should have been a rejoinder he misnames an Answer.  
But his Defects of Wit and Law, are made up with a surplusage of Confidence and Ill-nature; The first cast of his skill being an Ill-favoured squint on Sr. Tho. P. who, he says, might as reasonably have taken him for a Jew, as a Priest or Papist. What Sr. T. took him for, or whether he ever vouchsafed him the honour of his generous thoughts, is to me unknown. 'Tis indeed somewhat improbable that he should be a Priest, because commonly that Tribe show themselves cunninger Knaves, and write with more Art and Learning; but that he may be a kind of Mongrel, an indifferent well-willer to the Redletter, a mercenary Tool that would be an Advocate for Popery for ten Groats, there are still some violent suspicions. For why should we not suppose him a Janus in opinion, that wears a couple of names, H. B. in the Front, but N. R. in the Rear of his Pamphlet, and yet 'tis probable neither of them so much as the initial letters of his true Appellation? If he be one of our principal Citizens, and really of the Church of England as he alleges, why all this Shuffling and Masking? Or who but one that is a favourer of Papists at least, would go about to divide us in such a juncture with groundless surmises, and scandalise so Noble a Gentleman, only for his zeal to the Protestant Religion? 'Tis true, he would cloak himself under the Church of England; but how many of late pretend to her Honourable Livery, only that they may wound her more unsuspectedly? Tuta frequensque via est sub Amici fallere Nomen.  
He would by this maliciously insinuate as if Sr. T. were Author of the paper called The Vindication, but can he hope to make any people in their wits believe it? In vain, Sir! in vain you aspire to the Honour of such an Opponent, Aquila non capit Muscas, That Gentleman has other business than to trouble himself with Domitian's fly-flap, or regard the barkings of every Cerberus. The Vindication was written, as the Notes of his Speech were printed, wholly without his Consent or Privity; For being satisfied with the Testimony of a good Conscience, he valued not your slanders, yet 'twas thought a duty owing to Truth and the Honour of the City (which in general you had aspersec) That the same should be exposed by a meaner hand, who has no other obligations to that worthy Knight than what every true Protestant must gratefully own. Our Author next observes, That in the Opinion of the fanatics, the Popish Plot cannot be suppressed without their Help. Tell us, O thou Man of much Observations, when they told you so? and yet I am glad to hear, they are so ready to help towards it, when 'tis Necessary; The water being disturbed (he says) they put in their Hooks and Lines and Nets to catch the Fish, the Government. 'Tis a dainty Allegory, the very Cream of his Rhetoric, and so let it pass. But why was not he so Loyal (especially when I challenged him to it) to discover some of these dangerous Hook-and-Line-Men? We all do, or should know, 'tis the old Fisherman at Rome, and his Journeymen, that are now busily Angling; and sure when an Inundation is so palpably threatened, it will become every good Subject that asserts the King's Legal Prerogative, and the established Religion, to endeavour to support the Banks, and I wish some whose Duty and true Interest 'tis to maintain them, did not go about to undermine them, and by unseasonable Breaches let in the Popish Torrent.  
In his last he charged Sir T. P. with three foolish Ill-designs; now he says but two, and undoubtedly next Edition they will be dwindled into none at all. Yet for public satisfaction I cannot but take notice of two things industriously spread to that Gentleman's disadvantage; 1. That he should be concerned in promoting Mr. J. for Sheriff. 2. That he broke promise in not appearing before the Lieutenancy Sept. 18. Now if both these should happen to be found mistakes, what have they next to object?  
As to the first, 'Tis most certain, and ready to be proved, That Sir T. was so far from having any hand in that design, that he endeavoured all he could to discourage it; and as soon as ever he heard the least intimation thereof, (which was but on the Friday Evening) earnestly desired several of Mr. J.'s friends to desist, telling them, If they had an intent to prejudice the said Mr. J. as much as in them lay, they could not take a more expeditious course to effect it. Now if they would afterwards proceed, is it not most unreasonable, that he should be burdened with the acts of others, or misrepresented by reason of an Accident, which (though unluckily happening the same day) he was so remote from advancing, that he opposed it?  
And here by the way, Though I am wholly a stranger to Mr. J. nor intent to be his Advocate, yet finding Sr. T. unjustly reflected upon, on his account, and Jenkisme here reckoned up as one of the Cities new Heresies, I could not but inquire what might be the reasons, that he should thus become the subject of every Lampoon, and Coffee-house Censure; and I protest I can find nothing, but that he is a regular Conformist to the established Church, and a Citizen of unblameable Conversation; only some years since he made a motion in the Common Council (whereof he was a Member) expressing some apprehensions of what we are since generally sensible, and supposing some Inconveniencies might attend overlong Parliaments, desired they would become suitors to the chief Magistrates of the humbly City to petition his Majesty to call a new one, if he thought fit. The matter of this request is thought to have been since Justified by Authority, signifying the ill consequences of such tedious Session. Or suppose it a Crime, might not a smart imprisonment atone for Rashness, or time and further experience extenuate the Gild, but that it must still remain an Immortal stain (as our Author speaks in another Case) never to be deleted?— But leaving Mr. J. to be his own Compurgator, (whose concerns are foreign to our present business) we return to the matter in hand.  
The second objection against Sir T. P. is about his supposed Breach of promise, which if well examined, there will perhaps as little be found therein, as in the former; nor is this meant to cast the least reflection on the Honourable Gentlemen of the Lieutenancy, for since even a General Council is on all hands acknowledged liable to error in matters of Fact, 'tis not impossible they might be misinformed, or their Clerk, by a popular Rumour, led into a mistake, as to that particular mentioned in the Gazetted Declaration, That then and there he promised to meet; for 'tis credibly affirmed, that the Right Honourable the Lord Mayor, only referred or wished him to come at such a time; in which case he was certainly left to his own Liberty, nor aught to be taxed with such a formal violation of his Word, as some pretend, when he was never engaged further than Prudence and future consideration of Circumstances should advise him.  
This will be sufficient answer to his second and third Paragraphs to men of sense, though perhaps not to H.B. who does nothing there but with false and malicious imputations, render himself (to use his own Bull-phrase) at the same time both Idle and Officious.  
From Folly he next advances to two or three notorious Falsehoods in a Breath, That the Vindicator should affirm the City is not obliged by the Acts for settling the Militia, that the City have the absolute Command (for so he must mean, or nothing to the purpose) of their Militia, and that all the Burghers in the World have such command of theirs; whereas all that was alleged was, That the Act itself gives the Honourable City of London a particular Latitude beyond other places, in some respects, and in regard of extraordinary duties; not in the least denying the Militia every where throughout England to be absolutely in the power of the King, who, 'twas proved, had allowed of the City-guards, etc.  
But would you know what troubles the man? He cannot for his Guts, reconcile the matter for one that is Chamberlain of London to be a Parliament man. The Reason I pray? Because the unlimitedness of that privilege made use of, may tend to the ruin of Orphans, etc.  
I Answer, 

1. What is this to the Vindicator? How comes it in here by head and shoulders, being wholly Extrinsic to the matter in debate?  
2. Is not this not only impertinently to forestall the freedom of Elections, but also to arraign the Prudence of the whole City, that knew well enough not long since how to reconcile it? Nor has any thing that I know of, or he can allege, since happened, that should justly cause them to alter their sentiments.  
3. Does he not here give us reason to judge that he looks upon our Parliaments little better than Routs, since he bespeaks them Guilty of such Injustice, as to protect one of their members, if he should (that is, if he could) violate such a Public Trust? Can it be imagined the Honour of an English Parliament (where we hope shall never sit any Pensionary Bankrupts) would ever suffer it? but would upon Application, abandon such a Delinquent to the utmost severity of Law.    
Lastly, To knock this objection on the Head, can he be supposed to be a Citizen, and versed in their usages, that makes it? Whence is it possible this Imaginary mischief should arise? Is the Chamberlain alone, or so much as principally concerned in disposing Orphans estates? Wherein is he liable to be sued by the Creditors of the Chamber? and if he misspend or fail in respect of the City, has he not given sufficient Security, who are liable to answer the Trust reposed? Where is then the danger?  
But H. B. begins to draw his breath faintly, and now comes ridiculously to his General Traverse, Without That, etc. Now I appeal to all the World whether he has cleared himself, or so much as touched, several things home-charged upon him, viz. his reflecting on the Government of the City as Arbitrary, Their unjust screwing out of money (as he would have it) in election of Sheriffs, Their undoing young men by Livery-Fines, etc.  
His Demurrer is of the same stamp, the man begs hard for his Charges, prithee who suborned thee to write two such paltry Pamphlets as would not bear their own Expenses? even let thy Clients pay the Costs, for infallibly they are Nonsuited.  
As to the Bead-roll of harsh Terms which he musters up at the Fag-end of his Pamplet, it cannot be Imagined what he means by it, unless to prove (what the Vindicator seemed to question) that he is fit for the dignity of a Scavenger, by showing his dexterity in Kennel-raking? yet it must be observed, that most of those Epithets were nothing relating to H. B. but fixed on the Popish Traitors, who enough deserve them, others are his own Appellations of himself, and the rest no more than what his attempts render him obnoxious unto; such ill-weeds must like Nettles be handled roughly, else they'll sting us, and I know not why we may not call a Spade, a Spade. But Conscius ipse sibi de se putat omnia dici. So much for the Worshipful H.B.  
Now to you the worthy Members of this Honourable City I humbly address; If Sr. T. P. have hitherto demeaned himself as a Loyal Subject to his King, as a Faithful Servant to this City, as a zealous Patriot for the Protestant Interest, and that of the Public, if his late Calumniated Application was but in pursuance of his office (several persons coming to call in their moneys on the late Juncture, and he, for the satisfaction of them and others, only modestly stating their apprehensions) if it be lawful in all Communities from the greatest Monarchy to the meanest Ships-Crew, for any person humbly to give notice of threatened dangers, and this practised all the world over without Reprehension, yea received with thanks for the good will, though proved mistaken, where is then his offence? how comes he to suffer in any good man's esteem? or why should he be given up a Sacrifice to the clamours of the debauched, the Revenge of Popish Incendiaries, the malice of Whisperers, or the groundless Ill-impressions of the Ignorant? He that has laudably discharged an eminent Trust amongst you, and for you, sure deserves your Confidence in a greater: As both better knowing the Grievances and Interests of your City, and more experienced in the duty you are to choose him to. I am not fit to Advise you, but will not cease to pray that you may Elect such as may be fit to serve you and the nation in so weighty a work. A Work that requires men of parts and of Resolution too. Every Rich man (though a competent Estate be absolutely necessary) nay every honest man (though none else are) may not be proper for a Senator: There may be some that scarce understand the Question, but would give an I or No at random, when a single vote may almost be worth a Kingdom. There are some that like Glasses may be blown into any shape with a Flattering or Threatening Breath. I am confident you would not dishonour yourselves with such a Choice— May the Almighty Counsellor direct you so now and ever as may most tend to his Glory, the safety of his Vicegerent our Gracious Sovereign, the preservation of the Protestant Religion, the Honour of the City, and the Public Weal of the Nation.  
FINIS.