AN EXAMINATION OF A Late Treatise OF THE GOUT: Wherein John Colbatch's Demonstrations are briefly Refuted, the College cleared from his scandalous Imputations; And a short Account of His Vulnerary Powder.  
By S. W. no inconsiderable Branch of the College.  
Efficiam posthác ne quenquam voce lacessas. Virg.  
LONDON, Printed, for the Author, and sold by the Booksellers of London and Westminster, 1697.   

To the Precedent and other Members of the Royal College of Physicians, London.  
Gentlemen,  
OUR Country is the most famed of any, in the World, for the Liberty we enjoy, and the security we have made to our Property by its excellent Laws: Yet, I think Societies are, upon some occasions, so very strict, that to less discerning Eyes they may seem mere Monopolies. I must complain of my own hardships in this matter especially; but to whom, I know not; for 'tis from You that all my misfortunes flow; and since this Error of the first Concoction cannot be so easily retrieved among you, by Reason of the fault and defect in the Constitution that hinders People of singular parts, tho' now of a mean Office, at last to arrive to the liberty of being admitted a Fellow among you: to be a Licentiate will not go down, since Colbatch s admission. I confess I did once resolve to have suppressed all those aspiring thoughts, with considerations of Religion; but when I see scandalous Libels thrown about against you, and these so fitted to the Capacity of the Mob, that you think their Author below your wrath; I must persuade myself that my Religion obliges me to secure my Neighbour's good Name, and that the following defence of my old Masters may entitle me a great deal better to a Diploma, than any thing this feigned friend of the College can pretend to; and may also prevent my Petitioning the King and Parliament to oblige you to do me Justice.  
But if we look into the merit of the Cause, it must be allowed me that I who have seen so many Dissections, heard so many Lectures, overheard so many Examinations of Young Physicians, I who have kept the Books written by our learned Members, and have very often carried their Gowns and Caps, must be a great deal more knowing in all the difficult parts of Physic than Herald Did I not hear the learned Dr Harvey talk after so lively a manner of the Blood's Circulation, and his Generation ex Ovo, that I vow and swear, I have thought I have seen the Drunken Heart spew out its Blood into the great Artery, and I could trace its Stages through the whole Body? then for the business of the Valves, I have so lively an Idea of them, that I can show you them only by looking upon you Skin. But as for the Generation, that did so tickle me when I was a Young Man, that I easily apprehended the false Notions of former Physicians upon that Subject: I can yet give a very plain description of that genital liquor attacking the ripe Egg in the Ovarium, and a great deal more that I saw at some diffections he made to King Charles II. nay, for my part, I thought all this matter was so clear that I wonder the Dr never found the way to get a Male-child at one bout of a Consummation Action. We have Sir George Ent's Book too that defends his Circulation contra omnes mortales, for as easy a matter as Colbatch thinks it; but had he had to do with Parisanus, the old fellow would have played the Devil with him, and his Ligature too; then came Dr Glisson with his Livers, Stomaches, and Guts so nicely prepared, that the Secretion of the Gall, the Digestion, the business of the Chyle, and the Excrements were so familiar to me, that I had no difficulties left me in that affair. But as for Dr Willis, he was the first that taught us to dissect the Brain, that we might see all its parts; when Physicians before him were content to slice it down like a piece of Pudding, and when Des Cartes did see his Glandula Pinealis sticking in a slice like a Plum, he was a great Master who could hit upon it once in five times; but our Dr could show you any thing, and when you pleased; he traced out all the Nerves, and described nobly the whole Brain: I have heard him talk of his Anima Brutorum, his Books of Fermentation, urins, Fevers, etc. with that exactness, that I must own that I have had sometimes the Vanity to think myself as learned a Physician as himself. Dr Wharton began first to number the Glands, and to undeceive the World of a fancy they had about Parenchymatous substances. Next came Dr Lower, who told us of the Hearts being Muscular, and put it under the same laws; he tells us in the same Book of putting Blood out of one Animal into another, and what advantage that may be in curing some Diseases. Dr haver's gives us a Book of the Make of the Bones, and Dr Riddley gives us a Lecture upon the Brain, tho' a Frenchman one de Vuyssens had made Dr Willis's way more clear, yet not so much neither, but that the Dr has done it in greater order. Dr Garth read very finely upon Respiration and the use of the Lungs: Dr Lister has obliged us with the Anatomy of Snails, and Dr Cockburn with an O Econom. Animalis. Of Botanaists we have had a vast number, and lately Dr Sloan has given us an excellent account of the Plants of the Leeward Islands: Pharmacians, a great many, and lately Dr Bates. But for the Theory and practice of Medicine, no Country has exceeded us: in my time Willis both for the Theory and the Practice, Dr Charleton, Sir Theoder Mayern, Dr Bates, Dr Morton, and Dr Cockburn, who first told us how they are sick at Sea.  
Now, can any Man think that I can be such a blockhead, as to have lived among all these Masters in Medicine, to be bred up as it were at the foot of Gamaliel, and for so long a time; and not to be better qualified for my Admission than a fellow that either cannot think, or at lest cannot tell us what he thinks, and yet is so vain as to esteem himself more knowing, than any of your worthy and learned Members; one of whom he attacks, because he▪ s Dead, one still alive, and by Name; and another he has only the courage to hint at, tho' he has told his story so plainly over the Town, that 'tis now no great difficulty to know him: and therefore I may hope that my thus proving a dutiful Servant, in giving myself all this trouble, may give me greater pretences to a Diploma, and to be more and more,  
gentlemans, Your most Obedient, Humble Servant, S. W.   

THE PREFACE TO John Colbatch.  
SIR,  
YOUR Book fell first into my hands on Ash-Wednesday, after I came from Church, and I was glad to think you had hit upon an absolute Cure of the Gout, a demonstrative one at least, as you please to call it, in the frontispiece. Your Dedication smelled somewhat of Gratitude, which is still well; but when I found this demonstration was to be turned upon Acid and Alkali, or a thing we do not understand, I began to suspect your knowledge; yet, I thought it possible that new lights might be discovered even by you, in this matter, and surely you had not the Impudence to promise us a Demonstration of a thing we know nothing of, after a great deal of enquiry; and really when I looked first into your Preface you would make us expect no less than Revelation: but all this soon vanished into Dreaming, Asserting, Defaming downright all foreign Physicians, than the lesser half of the College itself, and next the greater, for really the praise you give them is so invidiously turned, that 'tis one of the worst pieces of satire. The Scene thus oddly changed, very strangely at least as to my expectation, raise▪ d in me quite other apprehensions: my Church thoughts were not the very same; my passion grew almost into fury, to see my Masters so ill used, and one whom Nature had laid asleep, and forbidden us to remember him to his disadvantage; yet his Ashes were to be raise d for your trifle about the Gout. I confess I could hold no longer, but the duty that s incumbent upon every man to defend his own, or his friend s Reputation, made me find some time from business to become an Author, tho' that was when I had attempted a second reading, and after ten days. 'Tis the defence of all foreign Physicians, and a great many of our own that I have undertaken; a task I acknowledge too bold for me, with any one but yourself; and ev n these few that are excepted, must fall too when you are out of the apprehensions of an Answer, or any other inconveniency from them: this is no forc d and unnatural conclusion; for, notwithstanding your turning over Books to no purpose, as you say very well, foreign Physicians and my Masters are agreed in most things of Physic; so that if your design were to destroy Opinions, and lay under no fears of Men, you might have as easily run down all the College, as Ignoramus's, as you have done the learned men abroad: all these foreigners since the beginning of the World, all our dead Gentlemen, and a third of what's alive; surely my living Masters that are spared cannot have better pretences than They; nay, I le answer for them, that they re ashamed on your behalf, and angry too, that you have parted them from so good company; but esprcially that you huve joined them to yourself: Have not you done Dr. Cole a great deal of honour, in obtruding upon him your ridiculous jargon, and to call them his Opinions, Opinions he was very familiar with, or because you are the first that vends 'em, opinions that he has lenrned from you? Is there any such stuff, in his Book de Secretione Animali, his letter of an Apoplexy, or his Book of Agues? if my memory fails me not, he s among one of your Dunces that make that Disease proceed from the Acidity of the Blood, as Dr. Jones does, and yet you may make him say here, that 'tis an Alkali that's the Original of that sickness; old People, men say, are twice Children, yet he is not quite so old, as to forget what he said lately, to chatter after you: but since you use your Friend, your Patron no better, I think your Doctors you make War upon have no reason to complain.  
In this Preface of yours, you have got into a Cant of Experimental knowledge, Experiments upon the Blood, and such things you understand, and use the very same way that Enthusiasts do the Scripture: these are the best help to Natural Knowledge, as the Scripture are to Divine; but all this mere Jargon, Cant and Nonsense in your mouth who cannot understand them: and in my opinion the only way of proselyting you, must be the same that the Churchmen take with their Enthusiasts, to despise you. Are not you a rare Fellow to pretend to make an Experiment, who after all your toil, all your reading, and all your Disquisition, are pleased to tell us that Physicians have hitherto unanimously agreed that Acids have abounded in all Diseases, this is as wonderful an advantage as you have gained by reading of them; for 'tis manifestly false, and if we were to look into the state of Physic in former Ages, or even in our own time, we can find no such Universal Consent; but now when I think of it, you only said if turning over of Books would do it, that you should rest satisfied; but that will not do; nay distilling, and combining of Liquors so long as your eyes are open, will never make one Experiment, without some Book-learning, which to you is a bugbear. You see how well an accomplished Gentleman you are like to prove for making Experiments, and so you have very good reason to say that in your Introduction you have made use of a Familiar and easy Experiment to confirm the truth of your New Hypothesis; and if any one shall take upon them to answer what you have said in this, or any of your former Pieces, you expect that they should back their Arguments with Experiments, or you shall take no notice of them. What good service your Familiar Experiment is like to do you, turn the leaf, and there you ll find it: but pray, if one may ask questions, tell me what Syrup of Violets itself is, Acid or Alkalin; according to this Familiar Experiment, 'tis nothing; for Syrup of Violets, added to Syrup of Violets dissolve d in an aqueous Body, may augment the quantity, but will still be blue; Ergo tis nothing, because neither Acid nor Alkali: the next time you writ, be sure to make a Syrup of Violet's principle, h. e. every thing that does not change the Colour, is Violaceous; and find some Disease to be made or Cur▪ d by it, so there will be Three, and Musae gaudent Numero Impari, the principles of Sal, Sulphur, and Mercury are Three, Des Cartes's are Three, and yours are Three; but this I'm afraid you won't like, because you affect singularity.  
And as for answering your pieces, I know no body will be at the pains, but a Porter; nay, I'll promise you that when I had done, I had a great dispute with myself if I should do you the honour: but a little for my Masters, and helping off the Bookseller with the damn d Copy, did prevail; but here I faithfully promise and swear, that no more of my Stolen time from other business shall be employed that way. But, pray, Why are all your Books Pieces? nothing but Artillery sounds with you since you was in Flanders: the Preface before, was Powder and Ball, and now Pieces for the Powder and Ball; not so, good Member, your Pieces are harmless things enough, any body may attack them, and that more easily, and with more safety than nail d up Cannon, and you see the following Sheets are an Attempt of an Ordinary fellow.   

AN EXAMINATION OF A New Treatise OF THE GOUT.  
SEmper ego auditor tantum, nunquamne reponam,  
Vexatus toties rauci Theseide Codri?  
Or for our better understanding, as Mr Dryden and I, with a little liberty, will sing it:  
Still shall I hear, and never quit the score▪  
Stunned with Colbatche ' s nonsense o'er and o'er.  
I have been quiet these forty years, because I was always hearing something that informed me; but now to have Libels upon our learned Members, by one who has not learn d his Institutions, is insupportable; and however he may be below their notice, as he really is, yet he cannot escape me, who have been charmed so long with their Learn ing. But to do this as shortly as his want of method, useless repetitions, and ridiculous malice will allow me, I will only consider the strength of his pretences, and discover their weakness from such solid maxims, as I have either heard or read that my Masters do suppose; and reserving his Preface for mine, the first thing we shall consider shall be his Introduction; which I show d take to be the most modest thing of the whole Book, were it not that he pretends his principles are so very obvious, that they are to be seen thorough by any body, and yet they have been removed from the eye of Physicians. The familiar experiment is, That all Acids, such as Oil of Vitriol, Oil of Sulphur per cam panam, Spirit of Nitre, Spirit of Salt, Vinegar, etc. being poured into Syrup of Violets in any aqueous Vehicle, will immediately turn it from a Blue to a very Red Colour; and as the Acid is more or less strong, so will the Red Colour be of a deeper or paler Dye. On the other hand, all manifest Alkalies, such as lixivious Salts, all the volatile Spirits and Salts, such as Spirit and Salt of Hartshorn, Spirit and Salt of Sal Armoniac, Salt of Vipers, etc. will turn the Syrup of Violets, or a solution of it, either in Spring Water, or in any other aqueous Vehicle, from a Blue into a Green Colour; and as the Alkali is more or less strong, so the Green Colour will be of a paler or a deeper Dye. From this he concludes, that if the Serum of the Blood change this solution of Syrup of Violets into a Red, it must be Acid; and if it changes it into a Green colour, positively Alkalin; and confirms this farther with a piece of Logic, which shows sufficiently that he has nothing of the University breeding, without his telling us so; and notwithstanding the expense of Money he has been at, in acquiring this Learning, all he shows is the Ergo, strangely brought in. But pray, Mr Member of the Royal College of Physicians, do you think that because you were an Apothecary, and made up the Doctor's Hysterical Juleps and Gargarisms, and saw sometimes Spirit of Hartshorn added to the Waters which dissolved some of the Syrup of Violets; or at other times, Spirit of Vitriol, Niter, etc. added to some such Tinctures, and to make this Red or Green Colour: Do you think, I say, that these Physicians had never seen these changes as well as you? That must not be suppos d even among foreign Physicians (for those, and such as are dead, or want a name, you only are pleased to expose) but how came it that they never fell upon this demonstration of yours, surely 'tis not so much out of reach; but the reason you may have, when I'll show you immediately that you have discovered nothing at all. First, some Physicians, and those most Foreigners, have said that the principles of mixed Bodies were an Acid and an Alkali, though they have had vast difficulties even to describe them so, that we could know what they would be at; and truly yours is no better; for of all the mixed Bodies, how many are there that will give your Water and Syrup of Violets a Red or a Green Colour? not the thousandth part, and consequently not the thousandth part of mixed Bodies are Acid or Alkalin, or the thousandth part of mixed Bodies have no compounding Principles, h. e. they are something and nothing: Yet 'tis very natural to think, with one ●f my named Masters, that if Acids and Alkalies are the true Ingredients or Components of Bodies, and that they concur as principles in their action, and bear Contre-parts in this action; then because the Influence of either upon the other, may be augmented, diminished or lost, and this is to be faulty or vicious; therefore, or ergo, 'tis evident, that either of 'em may have its defects, and consequently that the blame should not be laid upon one: h. e. supposing the principle of Alkali and Acid, Dr. Blankard and the Member, are both wrong; though I confess if Acid and Alkali were any thing, Dr. Blancard is most in the right; for the serum of the Blood, in the healthiest People makes either no such alterations of Red or Green; and when it does in that circumstance, 'tis always to the Green, and consequently the Blood in healthiest People is Alkalin; and because that Constitution of the Blood that gives us Health can never be the same when we are Sick, and since the Blood when we are in Health is Alkalin, it must not be supposed so, when we are sickly, but rather something of a different and opposite temper: and because that is to be Acid, ergo, our sicknesses do all proceed from an Acid, according to Dr. Blankard, against the Royal Member; now hehimself has given judgement upon such ridiculous inferences as he makes, that they ought to be kicked out of a Commonwealth, for endeavouring to impose upon Mankind: And truly this is the only thing in the whole Book he and I seem most agreed upon; only I think we should begin with him. But supposing that that were an Acid which changes a solution of Syrup of Violets with Water into a red Colour, and that an Alkali, that changes it into Green; and that all mixed bodies made those changes, and none else, h. e. let us have this Hypothesis in its best light; yet it is so precarious and obscure, that it cannot help us in the understanding one Phoenomenon; we know not their properties and powers, nay, one of them he supposes more useless than a cipher; pray what knowledge can we attain to by knowing that a Triangle is a Figure that has three angles, or a Chiliogonum has a thousand, without knowing any of its properties and relation to other Figures in practice for the use of Man? We don't apprehend by this that the three Angles of any Triangle are equal to two right Angles, and that the whole thousand Angles in an Chiliogonum are but equal to four right Angles, and much less do we gain all the advantages and knowledge that the Doctrine of plain and Spherical Trigonometry affords us, by canvasing Triangles upon different occasions. Now I say, That if we could arrive to as useful a piece of knowledge, by supposing his Acid and Alkali to be what he describes 'em, by demonstrating their properties as evidently as we see those of the mentioned Example, he might, for me, call the one Bow-Church, and the other the Royal Exchange: but on the contrary, all that ever we are to know of them is, that the one can make Syrup of Violets, dissolved in any aqueous body, Red, and the other can make it Green. The poor Philosophers and Mathematicians that knew nothing of Syrup of Violets and Water, were at a sad loss. But pray, Mr. Member of the Royal College, since all the Phoenomena in Nature are to be accounted for by those two principles, except the inconsiderable ones about Motion and Rest, Light and Darkness, Magnetism, and a great many other, (of this kind) too many here to insert, I'm afraid that all the Phaenomena are to follow; yet perhaps you are confident of all those of your own Trade, and that they may stand your friends, except it may be that little sort of motion of the Blood, which the Fools of Physicians call the Basis in the O Economy, and curing Diseases; but let us except that, and tell us the business of seeing from Acid and Alkali, why we have a Pulse? And I'm sure, that if you cannot do that, you cannot tell us whether a Stone sees or not, at least you cannot be useful to any that suffer in their seeing. Pray, good Mr. Member, now tell me, why I, when I was a young Man could not see any thing ten Yards before me, without the help of a Glass, and now when I am old, I can see ten times further, without any such help, and other Men of my acquaintance that accused me of blindness cannot see their own length now without a Glass? One thing more I would beg of you, and that is, that when I am a Doctor, and must feel my Patient's Pulse, how we ought to have a Pulse at all, and what kinds of Pulses tell me that my Patient is Sick, and all this from the Combination and Privy Council of Acid and Alkali, where you are Secretary, and can tell all their tricks? Moreover, settling our knowledge upon change of colour is the most uncertain thing in the World; not only because I have seen Dr. Slaer take two Diaphanous liquors, that were as white as Water, yet, by putting them together soon changed into 20 Colours, some smoked, some grew thick from being the thinest substances I ever saw, and a thousand such tricks which are useful to be tried, but I never knew of the principle that could account for them, tho' such experiments afford us many conclusions about the uncertainty of human Understanding; nay, I have seen Mr. boil, and Mr. Newton at a deadly work about this business of Colour, and I am told that Des Cartes and Mr. Newton have exchanged many a Letter upon that Subject; tho' we believe that Mr. Newton had the best by much. Now, Mr. Member, don't you think that I have given you a very good reason, for former Physicians making no account of your Shop Experiments, they have seen a Thousand times, but have left you to take up with it, for no body else wou d. Indeed you are in the right to make your appeal to the Mob about your discovery; for they know nothing of the matter: but Gentlemen are generally of so liberal an Education, that tho' they could not dispute the fact, yet they have the good Manners to think every thing true any one tells them, to his knowledge, to be matter fact; yet I le assure you that your Conclusions and theirs will be vastly different.  
This being premis d, we see what a certain foundation he has laid for himself; yet he thinks it so certain that in the 5th page he tells us, That an ounce or two of Blood is to be spared in any case. Again, It will plainly appear by this Experiment, That the Blood of such persons abounds with Alkalies; and if so, why should we crowd in more Alkalies, unless it were to prolong the Distemper, to increase the number of Fees. Here he shows abundance of Learning and Honesty; for in the first he supposes that an Ounce or two of Blood may be spared in any case, which is so very contrary to what I have heard my Masters talk about, Revulsion and Derivation, that nothing can be more; for if the Blood is brought more to one part than another, by the different ways of bleeding, as this Doctrine plainly intimates; than it may happen that we shall bring Blood to some part, upon occasions, in a very ill and unlucky time, unless we understand the business of Revulsion and Derivation somewhat exactly; but this is neither an Assertion peculiar to him, nor is it my design to Answer his Book to every particular, but only where he sets up for himself, or asserts common opinions too peremptorily; and therefore I will only say to his Honesty, That that is very singular, if he keeps his Patients long under his hand for gains sake; yet by what he says, one would think him a great Fool or Ignorant; for to heighten a Disease as he talks, is to kill the Patient outright, and so farewel Fees, which is his primum mobile, and a principle he's more fond of than Acid or Alkali; for I m informed he valued his Book among the Booksellers at twenty Guineas, which he said he wanted to buy a pair of Geldings to put into his new Coach. But after he has made so great advances by his demonstrations, he gins still to challenge the ignorance and dishonesty of Physicians, whom he makes a set of Fools or Knaves, and sometimes both. People, says he, must long since have known the truth of this hypothesis, or they must not: If they have not known it, than it is plain they have grop▪ d in the dark, and they have cured Diseases with as much certainty as a blind Man can catch a Hare, as the Proverb is, when they speak of any thing that is very unlikely. If they have known it before, than the giving of Alkalies at the rate that has been done, is a plain argument against them that they have not acted like honest men. But I dare acquit them from this charge, I do believe they have sworn in Verbo Magistri. And because a few Book-learned Gentlemen have dreamt that the Bloods abounding with Acids has been the cause of Diseases, therefore right or wrong it must be so, though it be contrary to the most obvious and plain experiments. So firm an Hypothesis being once established, his consequences must be so plain and evident that nothing can withstand them; and therefore he catches the poor Physicians in this inevitable Dilemma, People, etc. Truly, good Mr. Member, I told you just now, that your experiment has been seen often every day, but the Hypothesis you raise upon it, is unworthy of any one's sight but your own; but since you have got within your Dilemma, as Conjurers are said to be within a Circle for their defence from the Devil, that we may give you story for story, I will, for once, suppose that they knew nothing of the matter, and yet I cannot see how they cured by guess, or groped in the dark, since they had more certain Rules which you seem to despise, and I'm sure you know nothing of; and what lumieres you have got from this Hypothesis, we shall find by your following observations; though having ruined your foundation already, the thing is evident of itself. Again, we suppose that they did know it, though no otherways than that the Hypothesis of Acid and Alkali is the most precarious supposition in the world, and that they knew Dr Blankard fond, though modestly, of this Castle in the Air, and you a peremptory, dictating Blockhead, maintaining this ill-grounded stuff, and defaming Men of Learning to defend it; and in that sense they were not confined to your giving of Acids upon all occasions, and to despise the greater part of Simples, which they must needs do; since the greater part are either Alkalies, in the common acceptation, or nothing at all. I said in the common Acceptation, because I am one of those who desires no kind of jargon in physical knowledge. But what a fine excuse you make for them, I think the commonwealth of learningought to grace your Birthday with a Panegyric upon it; that men of learning who will own no other Motto but Nullius in verba, yet you'll bedaub them with your impudence jurare in verbo (as you call it) Magistri; I must tell you that in governs both the Accusative and Ablative Cases, and so it may be good Grammar, which I'm sure is more than you know; but in the sense you design it, 'twas never us d but in the Accusative: But pray you what Masters ' words do you find your College Oath bind you to, or what Master is that other Physicians follow; since they did shake off Hypocrates and Galen, the ancient Guides of former Physicians, we see none other set up, but every one would make Proselytes, or instruct with the force of reason; they declare, that we may learn a great deal from, and aught to read Hipp. Gal. Avicen, etc. on one side and all the moderns, of whatsoever sect, on the other, but not to fight for the Infallibility either of Hippocr. or Van Helmont; but these old Gentlemen are none of your acquaintance, and therefore for once, I crave your Mercy, for introducing them into your Company. But pray Mr Member, must a man be said to jurare in verba, that will not blindly follow all the nonsense that an impudent fellow would obtrude upon him; if so, then I'll promise you 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 will be the word still.  
Now to what you say of a few Book-learned Gentleman's dreams about Acids, being the source of all other Diseases; I don t say that you'll own my Master's Book-learned, but we see few of them either fond of Acid or Alkalies' being the causes of Diseases; but if one of them must needs be so against all sense and reason, I told you before that Dr Blankard appealing to your experiment, has proved it so, without Book; surely you could not have thought that. I don t think the rest of this Paragraph worthy my consideration, and especially because I was by when Mr Boyl s Dialogists were at a hot dispute about the power of Fire, in bringing out the first principles of Mixed Bodies, where it was carried in the Negative, after many a learned Speech; but you were not worthy of such a Conversation, nor I neither; but I was Doorkeeper, and did sometimes peep in, and took care to overhear as much as possibly I could; and though I'm no Book-learned Man, nor a Gentleman, yet I was told that That was all in print; I think they called it the Sceptical Chemist. Now here was a learned man, that was for trying a thousand tricks upon Blood, and every thing, without ever dreaming of essential and elementary princlples, as some of the common Chemists about this town, who were only employed about his Furnace, have done since; and for any thing I know, you may have got some Learning by blowing his Bellows, as I have by carrying of Gowns and Caps.  
The rest of this Book to the 10th page, containing nothing but Conquest and the Ignorance of others, I must pass it over, because I cannot be able to consider it, without letting slip some things as undiscreet as his are. Only I think that a Man of his Policy and Understanding, would at least have represented his Antagonists as more knowing, and of more Experience, that so he might lay his way for a Glorious Conquest, and now if he is struck with the Servant of these Ignorants, what a damnable misfortune is it to fall by the Jawbone of an Ass. But the 1st §. of the 10th page, is so full of Instruction and Knowledge, that it requires our serious consideration; and therefore we'll set it down at length. For want, says he, of our taking pains in making Experiments, has been the only cause of our so long building the Foundation of our Practice upon so false a Bottom; and I hope, that what I have said will excite the Physicians of our Age to make such Experiments, that thereby we may act upon some sort of certainty. The Physicians of our own Age, but more particularly of our own Nation, and amongst them in a more especial manner those of our College, have made more and greater discoveries in Anatomy than ever were made before, I mean in the Anatomy of the solid Parts. But as for the Fluids, those parts wherein the Cause and seat of most Diseases lurk, they have in a great measure been neglected: But the College abounds with Men of such large Capacities, that if once they set about that noble work, I doubt not they will soon perfect it, to the great satisfaction and Advantage of all Mankind. This Paragraph consists of three considerable Members, the first is the Cause why Medicine has not made greater advances, the praise of the Anatomical discoveries in our Age, but more especially in our own Nation, and the third an Encomium upon the College, a little healing after his Caustics and Incisions, as good Surgeons generally do work to the ground of sordid and sinuous Ulcers, such as he has or will make the present Members, if he can but outlive them. But pray Mr. Member of the Royal College, do you pretend to be the first beginner of making Experiments; truly they'll be well made, when I dare challenge you to tell me whether a Stone sees, hears, etc. or not; but have we not discovered to us by the affiduous labours of learned Men, a more perfect knowledge of the make of our own Body, the conveyances of its liquors, and the Circulation of the Blood; have we not noble Experiments about our Body, and its liquors being affected by ambient bodies, comparisons made, and Histories of the comparisons that have been by the combination of Salts with Salts, Liquors with Liquors, and even trials of all those upon our Liquors. I'm of the opinion that we ought to proceed with all these trials; but how to absolve, and what use is to be made▪ of those Observations I am convinced that you do not know; we shall see immediately what familiar Theories you raise in the curing of the Gout, from all those discoveries; what vindications you make, and what reason you give for your Medicines; I'm afraid we shall find you so uncapable to apprehend the circumstances of a nice Experiment, that you are not even able to give us a  History of a Disease. I agree with you that I believe that the Physicians since the Restoration of K. Ch. II. have made greater discoveries in the Anatomy than any; but for my part I don't pretend to know the Doctors abroad; I have told you of my Masters that have been famed for some new piece of Learning, and all that in my time, so I'm apt to believe what you say; tho' I have sometimes heard of a French Fellow that told us a Story of the Lacteal Vessels, when the noise of discoveries was so great at home; I have heard of Bartholin, D'Graaf, and some others I cannot call to mind, which makes me believe we had some pretty Experiments abroad. But as for the Fluids, these poor, these damned Fluids that make us sick and well, I have seen Mr. Boyl and some others making a great many Experiments upon them; and I have been told that one Malpighius, Lewenhoeck, and some other Fellows have taken Glasses, Spectacles, I don't know how you call them, to look into them; but these are Gentlemen below your notice, and so you think they have been neglected: But the College abounds with Men of such large Capacities; and Faith so it does, and I hope will in spite of you, that I hope they'll always be a doing something worthy of that noble Faculty: But you a fearful defamer, to talk as you have of Physicians, aught to be Scandalum Magnatum; you are convinc d your Book would never be read abroad, and so you freely call them▪ Ignorants, guessers, and I don't know what; but your Malice too does carry you so far, as to defame a Member of this College, because he's Dead; another you name, because perhaps his talon is to be modest, or to neglect such pretenders as you, and a third forsooth you will not name, tho' you could not conceal him among such as you take to be your Friends; but I'll tell you that when we come to his Story I le name them, and him after you, and let you see too that you never exposed yourself more than in relating of that Observation; but all this in good time: and if thus you deal underhand with our living Members, and openly with him that is Dead, God have mercy upon the shortest livers, they'll be sure to have your Tongue for a Purgatory in a Protestant Commonwealth.  
Now your whole Introduction being completed by the next Paragraph, I will look into that, and leave the honest Gentleman that entrusts you with his Letters, to the mercy of the World.  
A● I have before said, so I shall now repent it again, that I may not be misunderstood by any one; that tho' I commend Acids in the Cure of Diseases, yet I do not pretend that any one Acid will answer all Intentions, there being a mighty difference in the Operation and Nature of Acids. That Acid that will Cure an Acute Distemper (generally speaking) will not cure a Chronical one. I have generally observed that volatile Acids are most effectual in Acute Distempers, and fixed one's in those Distempers we call Chronic ones. But in these every Man's practice must be regulated and governed by Observation: For as Physic had its Rise and Original from Observation, so I am sure that by observation only it is capable of being brought to perfection.  
What greater confusion can any Man discover, than there is here in these few lines; if his only, and certain principles can give him no greater Lights and Notions in his Study and beloved Opinions, the Lord have mercy upon those Patients from whom he's to gather the History of Diseases! and if we stammer so in explaining ourselves, our common discourse must needs be self-evident. Pray, why don't you at least tell us a Story of those vast differences that are in the Operations of Acids, if you cannot tell me whence that difference comes? I may very easily mistake one Acid for another, and then play the Devil with my Patient; 'tis true he was convinced by his Blood that 'twas Alkalin, and therefore 'twas to be cured by an Acid, and then if it does not take, but does him harm he himself was judge, but the Disease did master us: Pray, good Mr. Member, What is it that this Acid does with the Fluids? Does it make the Blood run quicker or flower? but I beg your pardon again, for you say you know nothing of that. What then do you say, That the Acid that will cure an Acute distemper (generally speaking) will not cure a Chronical one; so far all's well; for generally, only 'twill not do it; then I may give either without any considerable mistake; but then generally again, you say you have observed that Violatil Acids are most effectual in Acute Distempers, and fixed one's in those we call Chronic ones; now, to speak freely, I do not believe you know the difference betwixt Acute and Chronical distempers, as you say you call them; for in the Acute Diseases, such Dr. Willis and my other Masters call Fevers, the Blood seems to be all volatalized, it flies about like lightning, and therefore every thing that s Volatile, flying (damn those Latin words) I think must make it fly faster; and in Chronical Distempers, as a Dropsy, etc. How the Devil would a Sick Man of common Sense, nay one that's in Bedlam, look upon me; if I bid him drink large draughts of fixed Acids. Vinegar, viz. as you tell me, etc. every hour of the Day. Cure, that won't take, that's too bare faced, and I find you smell it, when you leave that to be regulated by ever Man▪ s Apprentice. Is this the Man that wou d have a Thousand Pound a Year towards a Labarotary? This is a way to kill more than a Thousand Pound's worth of Powder and Ball, and he says that's spent every Year to kill the Enemies abroad, and he would have as much to kill the Friends at home: If it had been the Jacobites it had been tolerable, but Friend and Foe, and to give a Fee too to be killed, is the Devil and all. But pray, what Observations are you like to make? you have only two things to deal with, and these are both of a sort; yet you cannot tell us how to manage them; but there s more in this matter: Diseases done't always appear with the same face, no not in the same person at different times; Oh than what can I do? nay any thing, and take a Fee. Now in short, Mr. Member, I le tell you that Physic was neither begun, nor can be promoted by such Observations. And thus having made a hopeful Introduction; we must expect a learned and useful practice, which I now will follow him into, and leave him singing his Io triumphs over the learning of the Introduction, by which he has baffled all Foreign Physicians, some Dead ones, and all living one's without names.  

CHAP. I. Of the GOUT.  
He gins first with the Names the Gout has obtained among Physicians, when they would tell any one of its having seized upon any one part of the Body; tho' this sorting byname he seems to arrogate to himself; but pray Sir do you know that the most of the Names you have told us are all Greek, Heathen Greek; and how came they by those names without ranging this Disease into the same order you pretend to: They gave name to the Sciatica too; but you have forgot it. But not to insist too long upon Names, where the thing is so plain, especially since you have afforded me more matter to reflect upon, than really I can be at the trouble to consider; that I will tell you, that 'tis no other than to read your Book, and to write an answer; for I have no other before me but your own. And now to begin, you tell us, p. 16. § 3. of the different opinions Authors have vented about the seat and original of this Disease; but I will delay speaking any thing to that subject now, because its proper place is a little after this: but since you now begin your description, I will tell you that I will have no consideration about that, since your owing it to Dr. Sydenham (which is more than you confess) has miraculously obtained him from you the Character of a fair and honest man; and I will content myself to attack you, where you first begin to show your Learning, in p. 16. § ult. I cannot agree, say you, with those Gentlemen, who will have all pain to proceed from a solution of Continuity, which in plain English is either a Wound or Ulcer: Now for my part, I can't see why we should not be made sensible of any thing that injures us, which whatsoever causeth pain doth, without destroying the Integrity of the parts; and it's plain, whatever causeth a solution of unity, must destroy the Integrity of them. Further, Malbranche tells us, that our Senses were given us to guard ourselves from injuries, and that they never fail to answer the end for which they were given us: They are never guilty of Deceiving us-; as, for instance, our Taste, etc. and all these proceed from a placid vellication of the Membranes. Pain proceeds from a Contraction of the Fibres, and Pleasure from a pacid relaxation of them) which being granted, etc. My Masters the Physicians, I assure you, do not care whether you agree with them, or not; but why the pox won't you agree with yourself? for you say that a solution of Continuity, in plain English, is a Wound or an Ulcer, then in the very next paragraph, that a Blow with a blunt thing upon any part, which only bruiseth it, will occasion greater pain than if the same part were cut with a sharp instrument, although the one only compresseth the parts, and the other divides them asunder, and so makes a perfect solution of Unity. Now, good Mr. Member, did ever any one but yourself call a Contusion by the name of Wound, or Ulcer? Nay, I'm convinced you will not say so neither, and I'll undertake to prove to you that pain is a solution of Unity, and then you ll see that not only Contusions, but even Wounds and Ulcers, that make more sensible solutions of Unity, may make pain: yet, still there comes another inconvenience upon the heels of this; for we see that the pain of a Contusion is greater, by your own confession, than the pain by a sharp instrument; yet this pain in a Contusion is not so great, at least not greater than the pain of the Gout, and this you tell us only comes from the sharp pointed particles that may affect the membranes of the Toe; and do you think then, that those particles have more points, and are sharper than the Knives and Saw that Surgeons use in amputations? but this en passpant. Now, for the other part, that we ought to be made sensible of any thing that injures us, which whatsoever causeth pain doth, without destroying the Integrity of the parts: What he means by this I cannot understand, neither is it true English; and I don't know any body but will acknowledge that pain makes him sensible with a vengeance; but why should we be made sensible without destroying the integrity of the parts? For a Wound, and an Ulcer, by his own confession, causes pain; and yet he says too, that in Wounds and Ulcers there is a solution of Unity, or the Integrity of the parts broke off. But what a Devil brought Father Malebranche hither? was it to let us know he has seen his Book de la recherche de la verit? More of his works he pretends not to have seen, and even that I'm convinced he never read in the Original, or English translation, for this proves nothing to his purpose: But I'll tell you, good Mr. Member, that the great design of that part of the Book you quote, is to prove to us the real design and use of our senses; ho tells you that they are made serviceable to our design of living, and that in a due distance, in a proper Medium, and when there's a Mens sana in Corpora sano we are never deceived by them in what they represent to us; he tells you, that beyond a due distance a House that is square will appear round: The reason he gives you, but you don't understand it; yet he maintains, that though the House is really square, and we apprehend it to be Round, our senses are not deceived, because the object is not round at a proper distance; but why it appears round rather than of any other Figure he makes very plain: after the same manner he tells you, that if you put your black Stick with the white Head (for so much only you have of a Fop Doctor) into clear Water, your Stick will appear bend; yet when you pull it out, you find it as strait as it was; and notwithstanding this Paradox, your Eyes perfectly well, if you but saw as Pere Malebranch did, your reason, would tell you all the time, It is in the water that 'tis very straight. But how comes all this authority in, to condemn poor solution of Unity? Is it, because he tells you, in the one, that that proceeds from a placid vellication of the Membranes: I don't know he has any necessity to say that, but because you quote it from him, and I have not the Book by me, I'll believe you. But what does this vellication make for your purpose? Vellication to you is pain, and nothing that's placid; only people cannot be kept from showing their reading upon occasions. And because all this will not do, you wou d palm upon us a description of pain and pleasure; that aught to be your own, though it is not truly so; and then wou d make a very ridiculous conclusion, and that without your learned ergo. The Conclusion I have no time to consider, but to the description we ll allow a line or two: and I'll suppose with you, in another part of this Book, that all sense proceeds from vibrillation, motion, I don't remember how you express it, of the Nerves, and that pleasure is a more placid relaxation of them, as here: Now, does not the word Relaxation, at first view, signify a solution of unity: Yet, not to put this hardship upon you, let us suppose, I say, that sense, and every feeling, in general, is a accompanied with a vibrillation or trembling of the Nerve, with viz. an alternat contraction and distraction of the same: but these motions cannot be performed, if there be not a mutual departure or excursus of these parts, of which the Nerve is made, in their contact; neither this excursus, but by a successive change of their Contact, or in plain English, but by a solution of Unity; and therefore 'tis evident too, that in all sensation there is a sort of solution of Unity, and so even pleasure itself is never without a solution of Unity. But because pain is a trembling of greater power, hence it is that that solution which is by pain, is greater and more violent than in any other feeling; and since this gives the doleful feeling alone, this alone may be said to be a Solution of Unity, insomuch that a solution of Unity signifies or infers a troublesome sensation and feeling. Pray what▪ reason can you persuade us by, that pain proceeds from a Contraction of the Fibres, and pleasure from a pacid Relaxation of them? These are indeed most peaceable words; but what authority have you for this positive assertion, as you are pleased to speak in the following Paragraph. I may agree with you that pain may be by a stagnation of the Juices, but not by a compression, but a distension of the vessels that this feeling is made, and of this you are so very fond, that you assert that there can be no pain but by a stagnation; entirely forgetting the pain we talked of but now when a cutting. But pray when the Blood is upon occasions penned up in any Vessel, so that the obstructing power is greater than that of the approaching Blood, can any Man think that this greater quantity will rather contract the Vessel or dilate it? I'm sure if it does the last, the pain that attends it must be a solution of Unity, as I explained before. The same's to be said of the Blood in a neighbouring Vessel, that does not stop any other way, than by the distended side of the obstructed vessel compressing its less resisting side. But pray Mr. Member give us an account of the wonderful flight in the next Paragraph, that positive Assertion (as you are indeed full of such) by which you would so evidently put upon us, a conclusion ab absurdo which is natural from your Doctrine, but not at all from ours; in a palsy there is a wasting and a decay of the Member, and a Man might say that it is contracted; and if so, supposing your Assertion, there ought to be a great deal of pain, which indeed is contrary to Experience: on the other hand such wastings and decays of Members are far from the conditions we proved to be necessary in feeling, and still further from the conditions of pain; and therefore (or ergo) this experience you have brought in, destroys your Hypothesis, but mightily establishes what I proved to you before. All I will add to this, is, that if you ever have the impudence to show your talon to the World once more, you will not assert any thing positively, and without a foundation too; but especially when you are to run down Men and Opinions both. But to proceed, I pass over the weak Account you give of the Disposition some People at different times have to this Disease more than at another time; and we consider your Definition, which I'll assure you is very far from an University Definition, and 'twill please you mightily, because you hate all the Art of that place, You tell us, that it is Pain of the Joints, and parts adjacent, occasioned from an extravasated Alkaline Humour, irritates the Membranes of the Joints, and parts adjacent Hitherto, we suppose with you, that all pain is the Extravasation of Alkaline parts upon those Membranes where the Pain is; but the difference being the Extravasation upon the Membranes of the Joints that constitute the essence of the Gout: Then all Pains in Joints are Gouts; but Nocturnal Pains that affect the Vertebrae, are Pains in Joints; Ergo Nocturnal Pains are either the Gout, which I do not believe you'll assert, or else your Definitio non competit Definito; and that's contrary to the Laws of a good Definition: But again, why alkaline parts? they are the most innocent, smoothest things in the World; they have no edges, because you tell us their Antagonist's have; then supposing that these were Extravasated, and this condition could effect the Membranes, we cannot see how 'twould irritate them; but you prove afterwards, that these are the offending Particles, and there's no standing against your Arguments; Ergo, they may be true, though▪ not hitherto. Well let's get another step forward, and see what necessity there is for their being Extravasated; truly I see none for it, but a great deal to the contrary: But again, we'll suppose them Extravasated, and as sharp as you say they are, nay even carrying Chevaux de Frise with them, yet I don't believe they could provoke Pain, and my reason is, that I have been told by some of my Masters that Aq. Fortis applied to a Membrane or a naked Nerve, not otherways hurt, did excite no Contractions as Convulsions, or the like, and if that be true, as I believe it is, then farewell something else, and your excellent Definition; which indeed, I believe, you think gone for nothing, but that 'twas never at the University, and you think to put it upon the University Doctors.  
Having thus told us the very Nature of this Disease, by this learned Definition, we must needs advance and determine the Cure and Original too: You take your ordinary way in Sacrificing three or four Old Fellows at least, for every thing you are to Establish; and because some charge the Head, others the Liver, and your Dear Friend, Helmont, the Stomach, for troubling us with this Disease; 'tis below you to charge either: But why did not you tell us who they were that accused the Liver and Head, as well as him who accused the Stomach? Was it that you do not know? or is it that you'll let the World see that your Devoirs are only paid to Truth; and in that respect down must go Friend and Foe, all alike, very Ingenious indeed. But how do you Refute those old Gentlemen; your first Argument is from the general Disorders that precede a Fit. Is this an Argument to make us fall upon our Friends? Don't you know that a Fit of the Stone makes us vomit, makes our Heads ache, our Limbs as if they were paralitical, makes us Feverish, dry, and makes us sweat; this is a pretty▪ general piece of Disordor, and pray, you, did any one carry the Stone further than the Kidneys, Ureters, or Bladder Again, as you say afterwards, an unclean Stomach makes Impure Chyle, ill Chyle base Juices, base Juices, the Gout; ergo, an unclean Stomach makes the Gout. Moreover, do you know that for a long time the Blood, the very Blood, the Store-House of the other Juices was believed to be made in the Liver; and if this be true, as I doubt you can't prove the contrary, we ought to go to the first thing, since we are digging for the Fountain. But still Malbranch, another Friend of yours, tells us, that all Pain is in the Brain, and not at all in any part; because, after a Man has lost his Leg, he frequently puts down his Hand to scratch the Toe of that Leg that he had lopped off some time before, and if so, we ought to place our Disease in the Head. 'Tis evident that all these three cannot be the Original of this Disease, and I don't tell you how far any of them are so: All that I pretend to say, is, that any of those old Gentlemen may enjoy their Opinion, notwithstanding this your first Argument; and now we will see if the Second is any better, and that is From the condition of the Blood and Juices during the time of the Fit: Under which Head, I shall make it appear that the Blood and Juices during the time of the Fit, abound not with Acid Particles, but on the contrary, with Alkalious ones. Ha! this a dangerous point to meddle with, here comes in again the Infallible Experiments, demonstaative Ergoes, nay, as he tells us afterwards, as Demonstrative as any of Euclid▪ s Propositions. Is not this a rare Fellow? A rare Promoter and Discoverer of Truth, here's a new one indeed, the poor People before him never thought any piece of Learning so demonstrative, as any of Euclid▪ s Propositions; take any of his, and because, You may have looked over, or overlookt the first Book, take the 5th. or Pythagoras' 48th. and let us see the same certainty in your Argument, as there is in any one of these, you think the easiest and most uncertain. I have made some considerable Doubts about your Demonstration, but I could never about his Demonstration, in any of these following Propositions. This second Branch he defers till afterwards, and proceeds now to illustrate further his first Argument; but instead of doing that, gins already to be jealous of his Acids and Alkalies, and leaving the Proof of this general Disorder, or that such a Disorder is peculiar to this Disease, as he ought to prove; he only tells us that these disorders are different, according to the different Constitutions, and then going to tell us that Alkalies are always the cause of Fevers, but never Acids, he falls again into a mad Fit; could he think, that the old Gentlemen were to be justled our of their Seats by so small a touch; tho' he thought, he had set them upon rotten Chairs, altogether fit for that purpose; I dont know how much in the right, or in the wrong any body supposes them to be; but them sure every body will say, that you never attempt to destroy their Opinions, otherways than by an old trick of your own, a positive Assertion, which is not only unmannerly enough, and like a young University Man, but you are even pleased to grace such Assertions with the Title of Demonstration; and you won't stop there neither, but they are as evident as Euclid's Demonstrations. But again, I'll suppose that you understand the Business of Constitutions, and that a Fever is always one of those general Disorders, how the Devil came in Acids and Alkalies, in the proof of general Disorders proceeding a Fit of the Gout: you did always, and evidently prove that the Juices, and Juices alone were the source of the Disease; but if you think, that you had made a cunning Retreat into your Circle, 'tis done so ill that I will not follow you at this time; your safety there, after what has been said in the Introduction, being sensible and obvious even to yourself; but we shall have an occasion afterwards to talk upon this matter.: Only I must tell you, that I ll always suppose after this, that 'tis the damn▪ d Alkalies that makes all the Fermentations, and that the Acids check them; and I do assure you, that this Foundation will go a great way against you. Your History, Sir, which you now begin very abruptly, and like an ill Tailor sowing together two pieces of Cloth, you join things very scurvily, you follow Dr. Sidenham close, but you bring him in by the Head and Shoulders. I told you, before, I had nothing to say to that great Man; and therefore I'll begin with another Botch of yours, after you have done with him, where p. 23. §. ult. you are so afraid of your Alkaline Particles, that you carry them always in your Pocket, lest at any time you might misplace them, and just after you have ended Dr. Sydenham's History, you begin so; The Blood abounding with too great a quantity of Alkalious Particles, is the general Cause of this Distemper, in order to which, there are several other things which concur: As first, etc. Is not this handsomely added to the Tail of your History; but these things you despise, that is an University Gloss; yet even, that is necessary for those that would play the plagiary, and not be so easily discovered, for whether I ever had read Dr. Sydenham or not, I must see this is a Wen in your Book; but you being too wise to be instructed, and I seeking information every where, and thinking to find it with you, who are a promoter of new Truths, one who would have the World to take nothing upon your Authority, but Demonstrates every thing; I intent to try, if I can discover any greater certainty in your concurring Causes, than I have found in the rest. But to begin, I think a way of Aphorism in tbis matter would have become d your asserting design, better than to tell us, you are to say nothing without a Reason, and at the same time not one reason you give for any thing. First, say you, too moist a State of Air, which hinders free Transpiration, by which means the Excrementitious Alkaline parts, which should be thrown out by the Cutaneous Pores, are retained, and the quantity, etc. Now since you are talking of Magic, pray tell me, dear, good, Learned Member of the Royal College, who it is that manages matters so exactly within, that only these Excrementitious Alkalies are thrown out; and why not rather the Acids, who you say are sharp, half Pikes, Spades and Mattocks; surely I wou▪ d think that a Body of armed Men are better for breaking into an Encampment (that I may speak so, since you have brought those fine words out of Flanders) than a parcel of Boors, sluggards, and heavy fellows that have no Arms at all; besides, a Master of mine in a Latin Book of his, treating about this business of perspiration (as he calls it) thinks it a strange Paradox, to assert that the heaviest Bodies are easiest moved; or to your understanding, that the most Volatile things are the least apt to rise, or be sublimed; and the most earthly things the easiest: but to say no more of this Paradoxical nonsense, I must tell you that perhaps the Transpiration is not so free in moist, as it is in clear weather; yet you give us no reason for it; on the contrary, because you are a wonderful fellow at experiments, I'll tell you, that the Transpiration ought to be more free in moist weather, than in clear; if you'll only grant me that if there are two fellows meeting at a Door, and by plain force the one keeps the other not only out, but makes his way forward too, this fellow is to be thought the strongest; now, only grant me this, and then I'll add, that because you say, in clear weather, our steams can get clear thorough the pores, these doors of our Skin, that they'll much more easily get through in moist weather; because by a certain experiment, which at this time shall be nameless, the Air is a great deal heavier, justles more, and presles against our departing steams with greater force than when it is moist. You see now, How well you demonstrate. I have no time to insist upon your Profane, and ill made parallel that follows; neither much to the second Article, since you neither prove why variety of Meats, or a great deal of any one sort is hurtful; and again you make a most experimental parallel betwixt the Stomach and the Root of a Tree; It may be good Enthusiasm, but 'tis far from a Man of so nice experiments as you pretend to be. The third concurring cause is astonishing, but especially for the wonderful way you have in managing it; we must drink Wine, and not drink it. We must not drink it, because the Spirits of the Wine meeting with the Volatile Alkalious salt of the Blood, by a mutual combination of them, they are turned into Helmont's Offa abba, which can by no means Circulate with the Blood; I can smell the Experiment this your assertion depends upon, but I'll tell you that it wants a little Laboratory-work before that is done; for especially, you ought not to have talked of Wine, but Spirit of Wine; which has other affections, properties and powers than Wine itself; than you ought to prove that this Alkalious salt is so plentiful, and in so great an abundance in the Blood; and I peremptorily challenge you to answer me upon all the integrity you have left you, whether or no you can by the help of your Fire show me a real volatile Salt, or Spirit from any kind of sickly (for out of healthy Blood is allowed to be impossible) Blood new let out of the Vessel, without any sort of Digestion; and if this be but true, your reason will not debar us from drinking of Wine; but again, you say that Wine drank in any great quantity makes them lose their Tensity; and if so, they are more Relax, and when they are more Relax, they are in the circumstances you place them, when they are to be the Instruments of our pleasure; but at this time they are the Causes of the Gout, and before of pleasure, and therefore Wine must not be drank, because it makes the Gout a pleasure, or a pleasant, delightful, desirable Gout: O brave Member, Is this the result of your reasoning? Yet, 'tis not fair dealing to remember what was said a Page or two before, and therefore, I'll leave this part, and see why we must drink it; a small quantity of Wine, saith the Member, drank at convenient seasons doth raise the Spirits, and invigorate the Nerves. Now supposing all this to be true, how are the Vinous Spirits hindered, and kept from combining and taking counsel with the Alkalious Particles, so as not to make that damnable,  Offa Alba; they will not do it now, because you will not have it so; but you are so fond of this Tensity and Relaxation, that nothing can be more; must I tell you, that I'm told, (because I'm no Book Learned Gentleman) that this was an oversight of Des Cartes', and perhaps you have seen it in Malbranch, they tell you indeed, that a Rope stretched and bend a hundred Yards in length, cannot be struck at one end, but 'twill move at the other; yet can any Man be so blind, but he must see that this is not the condition of the Nerves, for they are seen no where to be so, but just where they come out of the Brain; but if you will try an Experiment that will come nearer the Condition of the Nerves, take a Rope of what length you please, nail it hard to a Beam, then stretch it out in a Spiral or any other Figure, half a Foot more, than nail it again at the end of that half Foot, and so all a long till you have nail▪ d Forty Yards if you will; that this may be liker the Nerves implanted so firmly in Muscles, that they make but one Substance; only I must desire you to leave a Yard, or a Yard and a half after the last nailing, fitted with a Noose for your Neck, then go in and swing so long that one that you may think a fair judge, may cut you down when he observes the end that was first nailed begin to move, vibrillat, and shake, than indeed, when you give me an account of this Experiment, you shall be allowed to talk of Tensity and Relaxation as you think fit.  
Fourthly, say you, the immoderate use of venereal exercises, for that it spendeth the Spirits, and decayeth Natural heat, and so procureth a weakness to all the parts of the Body, etc. Good Member, if I had but time and patience enough, I could show you that there is not one sentence in this whole Paragraph that's either consistent and agreeable not only with common Sense, but even yourself too; yet not to pass it over without some remarks, I must ask you why the matter may not be so contrived, that the useless Alkalin parts may be thrown off in this evacuation, as well as by perspiration before, and afterwards by the Counses in Women? again, Pray are venereal exercises, Acid or Alkalin? Moreover, a little diversion with a Girl must needs be a very good Cure for the Gout, according to you; because the Fever you told us before, which is made by that devilish fermenting Alkali, intimates to us the necessity of something that may hinder this fermentation, and allay this Heat; and now you tell us, upon this occasion, that it decayeth Natural heat, and a little of it we want to have decayed, that we may cure the Gout and Fever; ergo a touch or two must be very useful for Gouty People, which is contra hypothesin & experientiam, tho' no unnatural consequence of your reasoning. I promised indeed not to say one word more to this Paragraph, but you think when a Man has read the institutions, that he's strait fitted not only to be a Physician, but a great Author; and therefore whether it be to the purpose or no purpose, or rather playing at cross purposes, you will show your talon there, in a long story of voluntary and involuntary motion; where you are pleased to be the first that ever reckoned Respiration among the involuntary motions; 'tis a discovery of your own I confess, and no body that I know will dispute it with you, tho' I must tell you that I can keep my breath a minute or two, notwithstanding my performing that action three or four times in that space of time, when I do not contrive and order it so. Your way of describing Involuntary motions is peculiar to yourself too, for I have walked in my sleep, I have talked and yet walking and talking were never called involuntary motions by any one but you self; ergo, I think that you yourself ought to read the principles of Medicine before you begin not only to teach, but even to run down others. As to the fifth concurring Cause, I'll only desire you to tell me whether Sleep or overmuch sleep in the Afternoon is Acid or Alkali; Alkali it must be, but how do you prove it? for further upon this Paragraph I will not attempt, because I really tell you That in that whole letter of Dr. Cole's, about an apoplexy, where you read this, I believe 'tis the most unlucky, ill spoke thing in the whole Book, and so the Dr. your good Friend, is not only very much obliged to you for bringing him upon the stage, but for joining him too with your Novum Lumen Chyrurgicum; which I must tell you is greater nonsense even than your Treatise of the Gout, if that is possible. But to pass over at this time, your 6thly, 7thly, 8htly, 9thly and 10thly; both because I want time, and these are the most inconsiderable, and lastly, That you cannot write another Book without them, and so we'll leave them yours untouched, only I must desire you'll please to inform me how overmuch Watching and Fasting, and Study, and Sorrow, and Care, and much Labour, overmuch Rest, sudden Rest, exposing the Body to the Air in cold or moist Seasons, after any violent Exercise, the total leaving off of any accustomed Exercise, the keeping the Feet either too Hot or too Cold, are Alkalies; For these they are; but how, is my desire to know. And now to your Eleventhly, because tho' I am old, yet I like a little bawdy as well as you, and this we cannot pass over with the rest, without an unpardonable neglect, because of your exact observations on this point. Eleventhly, say you, from the stopping of any usual evacuation, as the Monthly Courses in Women, and a Flux of the Hemorrhoids in Men, which I have frequently known to keep their certain periods to a Day, by means of which observation the Excrementitious Matter wanting its usual vent is transmitted to some other part of the Body. And according to the nature of the Part upon which it is thrown, it exerciseth its Tyranny accordingly. This is a trick indeed, good Member, you tell the Women that you know that they have Monthly Courses, and that you have kept a correspondence with so many of them, that after all your long conversation, you have met with some of them that have gone to Day; now more than this, I cannot learn from this branch; you that are a reformer, are you not yet free of the vulgar Error of the Blood of the Monthly Courses being rank Poison, do you think still that one drop of this Blood can destroy whole Cornfields, the periodication or the necessity of having such Courses has been a very hard task to Physicians to account for, but I remember that one of my Masters in my Dedication proves very evidently, that the menstruous Blood must be the same, in every respect, with the rest of the Blood running in the Arteries; excepting any impurity it may contract, by the way, in the Vagina Vteri, or further in its way of coming out; so however certain it may be that Women are not so apt to have the Gout, and even other Diseases, so long as they keep time in that Monthly Evacuation, yet this is not because there is an Evacuation of Morbific Matter, or of Matter that may occasion Diseases, and really no more than the Key that sticks in your Laboratorydoor, when you make an Experiment, can be said to be the contriver and manager of it. But pray, supposing all this were true, what's the necessity of this matter's affecting the Joints more than any other place? you say nothing of this all along.  
Having thus distinctly shown that you have not at all distinctly given an account of all those things which either cause the Gout at the beginning, or accelerate a fit on those People who have already received the Morbific impression, and also of the general disorders that precede a Fit; I will now proceed with you to your second and beloved Head; which is, That the Blood and Juices during the time of the Fit abound not with Acid Particles, but on the 〈◊〉 with Alkalious ones. And because I hate Totologies as well as you do, I wish you would make us happy with this History of Human Blood of yours, that we are thus plagued with; but let me advise you, for a better guide, to lay before you an apparatus to such a History, I am told that Mr. boil has left you; but 'tis very probable that a Book-learned Gentleman of his small Capacity is unworthy of your notice. Yet to say no more of this, you delay your giving us an account of the state and condition of Human Blood in the time of a Fit, till you bless the World with this your Experimental History, for which your other Books are but so many obstreperous Trumpets for a Poppit-show; so we must wait with patience, and, in the mean time, hear what else you are pleased to dictate upon this occasion, which is, that besides the necessary Conclusions to be made from reiterated Experiments of Distilling, or Analizing by Fire the Blood of those People who labour under the Fit of the Gout, the generating of the Chalky Substance contained in the Node during that time, and those Nodes nor that chalky Substance are at any other time produced, but during the very time of the Fit; from this very production alone, it plainly appears that the Blood, and other Juices, etc. Here I set your Achillean Argument in its best and most favourable Light, and after I tell you that, I pass your ridiculous stuff about this matter, being bred all in one Fit, etc. I must inquire of you, what this proves in the general about the Alkality of the Blood in the time of any Sickness; and then I'll tell you that 'tis not against the Doctrine established before, upon supposing the Truth of Acid and Alkali, being the real Principles of Bodies; tho' at the same time, Dr. Blankard tells you, that you Chemists, (as you please to title yourself) say that all Fermentation arises from the Combination of Acid and Alkali, tho' you say most astonishingly from the Alkali only; but you are both agreed that Acids are more the causes of Quiet or Rest; now Quiet is a necessary requisite for Petrification, and consequently that the Acids is more fit to make the parts of this Stony and Chalky Substance unite; but a great deal more than that bustling Alkali that causes Fermentation and Disunion of parts: but again, I must tell you, that you will not have it an Alkali neither, for you lay this as a general Truth, that whatever changes a Solution of Syrup of Violets with water, or an Aqueous Body into Green, is an Alkali; and now you tell us, that when this Chalky Substance is Calcined, it will turn Syrup of Violets Green, and sometimes (tho' not always) will do the same without Calcination. Here is indeed Chemical Sense, every thing that changes Syrup of Violets dissolved in Water, into a Green Colour, is an Alkaline Substance, the Chalky Stuff taken out of Gouty Nodes seldom do it, ergo 'tis an Alkali, positively Alkali; Is not this a hopeful Conclusion? But, Sir, I know you despise the Maxims of my poor old Masters, that have always told us that the cause and effect are the same, or the cause and effect are always together, and never separated; here by a piece of sublimated Knowledge, you tell us, that 'tis the Essence of an Alkali, which makes us call a Body so, because it works these changes upon your Syrup of Violets, yet here's no such change; but yet it must be an Alkali: How are you to be understood? 'Tis an Alkali, and 'tis not an Alkali; well, but say you, Calcine, it than it will do; but pray, why must I Calcine it? that it might be more Homogeneous as you call it, and liker what it is in the Body; but how am I sure that there is such a Fire in our Bodies, and a Chemist that makes these Alkalines, or that the Fire has made this Substance more natural; some change it has undergone, it did not change your Syrup, now it does, but is it become more natural? But these are things of common Sense, and you Chemists despise all that; and therefore. I tell you, that I'll leave all the rest of this damned Jargon, and your whole TWO Chapter too, about the Regulation of the non Naturales, as you call them, because I would only vindicate my old Masters, and have a touch at your belov'd Medicine before I've done; yet I must tell you that Dr. Garth in his Lecture proved it evidently, that no Air was mixed with the Blood in the Lungs, and another said, that it would make it less Fluxil if it was so; and because People live most upon Air by your Experiment which you bring us; I would advise you to get into a Glass Vessel with a cover that's pierced, to let in the Air, then Substracting two thirds of your ordinary allowance because of the Experiment, and a half of the other third, because you now are quiet, and do not perspire so much as when you go about in your Coach and smoke Tobacco in the Coffeehouses, and then we'll know more of the matter. But let's leave this, and look into your III. Chapter, and there you tell us that, To Demonstrate the Insufficiency of the Method of Cure, both heretofore, and at this time in common practice by the generality of Physicians; for the well performance of which, I shall give you the whole Method taken by a great Physician, Sir John Gordon since dead, with a Noble Lord, the Lord Carlisle, he used all the Alkalious Medicines, etc. He was a Man very fit to teach you Mr. Member, both by Instructing you in any part of Physic, and curbing that insolent, impudent forwardness of yours, and 'tis well you have nicked the time so well, as to accuse him after he is Dead, and when he may have no Friend out of his own Country; but I can assure you for once, that his Death was very much regretted by worthy and learned People, that had known his dextrerous Hand in ordering, and adjusting a Medicine; his Merits I acknowledge are as far above my praise, as they are above your snarling; and therefore I will only ask, why this great Man was to expiate for former, and present Physicians? he never told you that 'twas the Gout he was to cure my Lord Carlisle of, and how come you to know it? were not there Books of former Physicians that told you, I give Alkalies for the Gout, and Physicians alive that justify this practice; why was not their Blood to be sprinkled before your Threshold? dead Authors may have defenders, and live one's will; but here's a Man for the purpose, he has few Friends here, and my Books being only designed for the Mob, they are not only not read here, but they're sure never to go into Scotland. Yet, may I presume to tell you, that the usage of the French in disturbing the Ashes of the Dead at Hailbron Two Years ago, after they had taken it, was reckoned a piece of the most inhuman and barbarous Cruelty that ever was heard of. They were incensed Enemies, and might have done it in fury and in a mad fit; but for you to do almost the same thing, and more, considering the circumstances, is unpardonable: It not only shows the meanness of your Soul, but the apprehensions you lie under as to other Physicians of your own time. But when did you learn this Story? was it about the time, that you had the impudence to come in upon the practice of one of the greatest, and justly eminent Surgeons of this Town, for my Lady Carlisle, and was in a very short time after sent a packing for your success? truly this is a very remarkable occasion! and as I was saying to you but now, How did Mr. Nicholson or you either know, so certainly as to venture to defame a Man, that Sir J. G. was to cure that Noble Lord of the Gout? Again, supposing it was so, you cannot prove by all that is said that this was not a good practice, but even that it was not the best: then, say you, Why was not he cured? Because he was incurable, and I suppose Sir J. G. told him so: and when all this is done, is Sir John or the whole Art of Physic to be ridiculed, because it cannot immortalize Men? or have you attained to that certainty that you can keep a Man from dying of any one Disease? truly, I have heard one of my great Masters say, that he would value himself mightily, if he could but certainly cure Corns: but more than this you can do; tho' if I had time, I could very easily demonstrate (since that is the word) that your own practice, for which you have shed so much Blood, attacked so many reputations, or made so many hecatombs, is the most ridiculous stuff in nature: but I'm sure those that are as mad as yourself to try it, will find the event by a great and running name.  
And now since I am brought so near an end, and am forced to skip a great many nonsensical Things hat fall a course, considering the former ruins; I'll content myself with looking into your observations about Fevers, that I may see how discreet you are to some living Physicians, and how well you show your own understanding, in defaming them.  
In the first observation, you are a great deal kinder than you have hitherto showed yourself; you tell us here of a Lady of great worth (as all your Patients are) that was ill treated, by some friend or disciple of yours, 'twould seem, because you you have not given us his name; this Lady is just a going down into the Chambers of Death, and her Friends expressing their loss by their Tears, when in comes the Great Colbatch with a saving Acid, and gives them better hopes of their departing Friend. Well done i'faith, Mr. Member; but who the Devil, do you think, will believe that you cured a deplorable Patient of a Hectic Fever, in 12 Days especially? I will not doubt of a Cure of something performed in that time, but that you know what a Hectic Fever is, I mightily doubt. And that these your Medicines may be of use to the World, as you say you design them, you ought to have given us a true Observation, or an exact History of the circumstances of the particular Patient, which you neither do in all these Observations, nor do I believe you capable to do it. But lastly, you give us a fine example of what you would do, for curing a Hectic Fever; which is so fine, that I think the College ought to Fine you excre tuo for a mala praxis: but if I were to observe all the mistakes you make in every particular in this and the other Observations (as you please to call them) I should put an endless task upon myself: You know that is not my main design, but the Vindication of my Masters, and therefore to pass your second Observation with one Question only, we shall be brought to the purpose: now the Question is, Whether or no the giving a Vomit to such a Patient as you describe here, before you let him Blood, is not the real cause of all the swell of his Face, that brought him into so great danger through the whole Cure? I am apt to believe that if that were determined too, there would be another Twenty pound. To the purpose again, as much as your cross-purpose will allow us; you promised us an account of Fevers cured by Acids, but instead of that you will bring in, over head and ears, a Story to abuse Dr. Richard Robinson; and that is of an Apoplexy; the fact, I mightily doubt of, as of all yours, you make them so monstrous to show your skill, that they are not to be believed; here's now a living Physician, and therefore I will not presume to vindicate him, because he is more able, in every respect, than I am; and will not observe your ridiculous cure of a radicated Phtisis, as you call it, because the description is like all those of your own co ntrivance, very Originals for Nonsense: who ever described a Phtisis Pulmnum as you do, or cured so soon such an one as you would describe. Now you come into Fevers again, and to make the story more formidable, you tell us of a fearful Pestilential Fever, wonderfully described, but managed by an Honest and Great Physician; very well Member, good words indeed; But did you never tell over the Town who this Great Physician was? Yes, you did, 'twas Dr. G— s a very learned and great Physician, I do assure you, and one of the fairest Practitioners about Town; but how the Patient was managed, what his Constitution was, etc. you say nothing of: You tell us he had a bleeding at the Nose for Thirty hours, and that 'twas stopped by your Vulnerary Powder, and that he was cured by you afterwards. Was not all this very great, to come in upon an Honest Physician and to Cure his Patient? Your Vulnerary Powder you are so fond of, will be considered anon; but 'tis always your good luck to expose yourself most, where you expect the greatest Applause, 'tis hard to have to do with Great Physicians: they have designs you can dream nothing of; you tell us, you stopped the Bleeding, yet the Fever continued; now the same doubts remains with me, that it seems did with Dr. G. this evacuationseemed to be critical, and 'tis an old Maxim founded upon Observation, that Nulla Crisis est Parca, and some of my Masters have told us the reason of it; so that 'tis more than probable that the Fever would then have been cured, if you had not stopped the Bleeding too soon, and was really cured by the very same Evacuation, and perhaps was then cured for all your saying so; I do not accuse your honesty in this point, but your knowledge; for a Man that cannot tell me when any one has a Fever, at least the particular Circumstances can never tell me when he Cures one, and this is much your Case: For since you do all for the good of Mankind, and all the World knows we want exact Histories, and Accounts of Fevers, more than Medicines; give us first a good Indication, Instruments can never be wanting, Ammunition Bread, and a Bottle of Water, will do very often with a great many: Let me add to all this, that I think a Mala praxis is more justly your Reward than any thing else; you need not be afraid of that Doctor, for you are too much below his wrath.  
We have seen enough of your Talon of Writing, your excellent art in describing Diseases, your singular, but unlucky way of Defaming Physicians, and a great deal of a ridiculous Practice, supposing your descriptions were natural, or in plain English, we see how honest, and how learned a Physician you are, and that really you are too much honoured, even with my notice of your Book; and therefore since I have begun, I'll endeavour to do you Justice about your Vulnerary Powder too, and that from a Letter to you, from your unknown, yet faithful Servant, and Wellwisher, T. S.  
I believe indeed, as you do, that he's a Gentleman of Candour and Ingenuity, nay and a Prophet too, for he said, you would Write on till you exposed yourself, which is most true. But the Devil's in your Impudence for comparing your Discovery, as you call it, to Harveys Circulation; you accuse the Ancients of more Ignorance than Harvey thought fit to do, and even his Discovery itself must be lessened by you; if you had been before his time 'twou'd certainly have been yours; but I'll swear, I doubt you understand it still, for as evident as it seems to you, I admire, say you, how People could be so sottish, as to see Blood run from a Vein below the Ligature, and not from thence infer a Circulation. Is this all the Evidence you have to disparage Harvey's Discovery by, and to entitle you to the liberty of making Dunces of former Physicians? Mr. Member if I were to Examine you upon this Point, I'm afraid, you should be Remitted to your Studies. Let us suppose then with the Ancients, that Blood came from the Head, the Liver, etc. into the Arms and Legs, and that this Blood was returned by these Veins, a Ligature in this case stopping the motion of the Blood in its return, obliges the Blood to run out of a Wound that's made below the Ligature, as much on this Supposition, as upon Harvey's Demonstration, and therefore we hear them talk of Bleeding the Cephalick in the Arm for Headaches, the Hepatick in Inflammations, and the Median in more Ambiguous cases. You see now, how well you understand the Circulation; but you confound every thing you meddle with, if it were even a T— d. But after all your boasting, we return to your Powder that cures Wounds of the Guts, and Lungs certainly; here's Impudence indeed, but for evincing this as shortly as I can, I'll hint at two or three things about curing of Wounds, and then Demonstrate what a Medicine must be, that cures the Wounds in the Lungs in particular. 'Tis agreeable with common Observation that Wounds on Muscles, or in the more musculare parts are the easiest cured, supposing our power of coming at them, (which is a Bull of a supposition were it not made to a Blockhead) and consequently the less Muscular any part is, the less capable it is to be cured: Now the Lungs are a Congeries of Bladders and Blood Veslels, and consequently very hard to grow together; but besides this, a Medicine that cures the Lungs must not only make it grow together in Fifteen seconds, but even so, as to contain air against its gravity and elastical power in that time, which is an infinite force: Now, since this is so evidently necessary, let us see if this Medicine can unite and cure a wound in the best Circumstances, in Fifteen seconds; and if it cannot do that, or if it cannot cure a Cut-finger in that time, far less will it ever cure a Wound in the Lungs; and that this must be the time is evident from the business of Respiration.  
Now, for its effects, I can give you a pretty good History of it from a Master of mine, who talked with my Lord Cuts about it, in Chaves' Chocolat-House in the Pall-Mall, when my Lord had a design to promote his singular discovery; and a word out of Flanders about a Lieutenant Colonel, because he only talks of Granadiers or a Sergeant, then I've done.  
This Nobleman, who I'm told is a very good Friend and promoter of any thing that may be of public Service, was conducted by this Learned Member to see some Experiments made upon Dogs; he had then the confidence to desire some of the Gentlemen that attended my Lord thither, to run one of the Dogs thorough the Guts, and the other thorough the Lungs as near as they could; which was done, and he dressed up the Dogs, and promised to let his Lordship see them recovered in Six or Eight Days: My Lord had not seen the Event when he talked with one of my Masters about that Affair; but next Sunday my Master meeting his Lordship at Whitehall, he asked him about his Dogs, who was answered that Colebatch had told him that they had made their escape: This was such a piece ' of stuff that did not take with his Lordship; but answering, there's a Granadier of mine run thorough the Lungs and he has him now under his Cure; I am told that my Master asked my Lord, if he was sure that he was run through the Lungs, for Surgeons have not given us any distinguishing Symptoms in this case; but the Lord Cuts said of that he could say nothing, but that he said he was run through the Lungs: However, my Master meeting his Lordship again, asked him about the Granadier, who told him that he was Dead. This I may believe was the true reason that he never made any further addresses to his Lordship, he not being very easy to be put upon. Then as to Flanders 'tis very well known that Lieutenant Col. Hume, of my Lord Lorne's Regiment, got a wound on the Thigh, with a Musket Bullet at Namur, and sending for the Member for his Cure, was dispatched, before his Friends heard that he was wounded, his Thigh swelling prodigiously, which next day gangreen'd, of which he died.  
Here, good Mr. Member, you have both Reason and Experience about your Powder, and they are both in their own Nature so convincing, that I doubt you cannot bring yourself off; a little impudence does very well with a Quack, and if you had stayed there, you might have been safe for me; but Ignorance being once joined with it, no body can be safe; You attack my Dead Master with a Name, a Living one without a Name, and the whole College in a very plain way: I have told you this once, Verbum sapienti sat est, but a Fool's never to be mended.   
FINIS.