A TRIP TO NEW-ENGLAND. WITH A CHARACTER OF THE Country and People, BOTH English and Indians.  
LONDON, Printed in the Year, 1699.   

A TRIP TO New-England, etc.  
BISHOPS, Bailiffs, and Bastards, were the three Terrible Persecutions which chiefly drove our unhappy Brethren to seek their Fortunes in our Foreign Colonies. One of these Bug-bears, I confess, frighted me from the Blessings of my own dear Native Country; and forced me to the Fatigue of a long Voyage, to escape a Scouring.  
But whether Zeal, Debt, or the sweet Sin of Procreation, begot in my Conscience those Fears, which hurried me a great many Leagues beyond my Senses, I am as unwilling to declare to the World, as a Romish Damsel that has lost her Maidenhead, is to confess her Frailty to the Priest.  
For many Years my Mind sat as Easy in my Breast, as an Alderman in an Elbow-Chair, till the Devil envying my Felicity, flung so many Crosses and Losses in my way, that every Step I took in my Occupation, I was timorous of Tumbling.  
I thought it then high time to seek for Balm, but finding none in Gilead, I was moved by the Spirit of Necessity, to forsake Ungodly London, for Religious Boston in New-England; hoping to Purify myself by the way in an Ocean of Brine, That when I got thither, I might find my Condition, as well as my Conscience, in a tolerable Pickle, fitted for the Conversation of the Saints in so Holy a Land.  
I packed up my Auls in order for my Voyage; and Embarked the Ship the Prudent Sarah, at Gravesend, who was weighing Anchor, with a fair Wind for the Downs, That I had no leisure to step back to London to satisfy my Creditors; but, like a Girl that's Ravished, was forced, with a very good will, to do that which I intended.  
To entertain this Merry Town, with an exact journal in Tarpaulin Arabic, is like reading the Revelations to an established Atheist, or repeating a Welsh Comedy to a Highlander. I shall therefore omit all such accustomary Fustian, and divert you with some Thoughts of my own in the time of my Passage.  
When I first came on Board, I fancied a Ship to be like a Country Village with two or three Maypoles in't; and the Fellows running about Deck in Red and White-wastcoats, to be the Young Men of the Town engaged in a match at Football.  
Sometimes I considered them as a Pack of Hounds, and the Pilot to be the Huntsman: For, like Dogs upon a Scent, they keep a heavy Yelping at their Business; but in every interval, were as silent as a Beagle at a Loss.  
At other times, I have fancied a Ship to be a floating Hive, instead of Bees, possessed by Drones, who make more T— d than Honey.  
A Vessel, whilst the Pilot is on Board, is an Emblem of Feeble Monarchy; where the King has a Statesman in his Dominions Greater than himself, That the Prince only bears the Title, but the other the Command.  
A Man on Board cannot but be thoughtful on two Destinies, viz. Hanging and Drowning: For withinside you have Rope, and without Water enough to effect either. So that it often put me in mind of the old Proverb, The Sea and the Gallows refuses none.  
A Commander when at Sea, is a Marine Deity; his Will is his Law, and the Power of Punishing solely in his own hands. He has a Wooden World at his Mercy, wherein there is no way to be Happy, but by due Obedience: For he that knoweth his Master's Will, and doth it not, shall be beaten with many Stripes.  
When out at Sea, I thought the World was Drowned, because no Land was to be seen. The Captain and his Mess, I compared to Noah and his Family; but as for the rest, they were the Beasts of the Ark.  
We were very good Christians when we'd nothing else to do: All Hands in a Calm to Pray or Pick Okum; but to work in a Storm, serve God serve Devil.  
Brandy and Tobacco are the Soul of a Seaman; he that wants either, is but half himself; and he that has neither, wants every thing that's needful; and must, in his own defence, turn Thief or Beggar.  
Mariners, like Parsons, are much given to look Upwards; but never consult Heaven beyond the Pole, or the Pointers. At Sea they are a kind of Persians, trusting to the Sun, Moon and Stars for Bodily Salvation.  
They seldom take notice but of one Miracle since Adam, and that is of Noah's guiding the Ark to a safe Harbour, without the help of a Sail, or the use of a Rudder: Which (forgetting Providence) they urge to be Impossible.  
A foul Wind makes scanty Messes; for it's a cheerful saying among Seamen, Large Wind, Large Allowance: Starving and Drowning being to them equally terrible.  
Facetious Ignorance is an excellent Talent to win the Captain's Favour. Reason at Sea, without the Rules of Navigation, is as dangerous to be talked as Treason: For nothing galls the Ambition of a Commander more, Than to hear any Body on Board seem Wiser than himself.  
They generally bestow their Favours, as Fortune does her Benefits, as if both their Heads were in a Bag; and for want of Sense or Sight, choose Dunces for their Minions, and Fools for their Companions: Dreading Ingenuity, and slighting Merit. Being positive in Errors, hateful to Instruction, proud of their Ignorance, and Wise in their own conceits.  
A Violent Storm at Sea, to me, seemed the Minute resemblance of a general Conflagration: When Jarring Elements for Power contended; and angry Heavens belched out flakes of its consuming Fire on the reflecting Ocean; followed with dreadful Claps of rending Thunder, rattling from Cloud to Cloud, through Rains and Hurricanes, till the Conquering Wind had blown his Sable Enemies beneath our Horizon, and cleared the Skies of his affrightening Rivals.  
A Calm to me was an Effeminate acquiescence of the Elements; and unpleasant to a manly disposition: The World looked as if Nature was a Sleep; and, careless of her charge, had suffered (through Neglect) the whole Universe to be Idle▪ I could compare our Ship to nothing in so smooth a Sea, but to an Egg upon a Looking-glass.  
Idleness at Sea is the worst of Slavery; and he that has nothing to do, is Buried Alive in a cabin instead of a Coffin.  
With these sort of Cogitations I passed away my Time, being tossed about by the Waves like a Dog in a Blanket, till we got Sight of the Promised Land, and Arrived at our desired Port, Boston. Of which I shall first proceed to give you an Account, free from Prejudice or Partiality.  

Of Boston, and the Inhabitants.  
On the South-west side of Massachusets-Bay, is Boston; whose Name is taken from a Town in Lincolnshire: And is the Metropolis of all New-England. The Houses in some parts join as in London. The Buildings, like their Women, being Neat and Handsome. And their Streets, like the Hearts of the Male Inhabitants, are Paved with Pibble.  
In the Chief, or high Street, there are stately Edifices, some of which have cost the owners two or three Thousand Pounds the raising; which, I think, plainly proves Two old Adages true, viz. That a Fool and his Money is soon parted; and, set a Beggar on Horseback he'll Ride to the Devil, for the Fathers of these Men were Tinkers and Peddlers.  
To the Glory of Religion, and the Credit of the Town, there are four Churches, Built with Clap-boards and Shingles, after the Fashion of our Meeting-houses; which are supplied by four Ministers, to whom some, very justly, have applied these Epithets, one a Scholar, the Second a Gentleman, the Third a Dunce, and the Fourth a Clown.  
Their Churches are Independent, every Congregation, or Assembly, in Eclesiastical Affairs, being distinctly Governed by their own Elders and Deacons, who in their Turns set the Psalms; and the former are as busy on Sundays, to excite the People to a Liberal Contribution, as our Churchwardens at Easter and Christimas, are with their Dishes, to make a Collection for the Poor.  
Every Stranger is unavoidably forced to take this Notice, That in Boston, there are more Religious Zealots than Honest-men, more Parsons than Churches, and more Churches than Parishes: For the Town, unlike the People, is subject to no Division.  
The Inhabitants seem very Religious, showing many outward and visible Signs of an inward and Spiritual Grace: But tho' they wear in their Faces the Innocence of Doves, you will find them in their Dealings, as Subtle as Serpents. Interest is their Faith, Money their God, and Large Possessions the only Heaven they covet.  
Election, Commencement, and Training-days, are their only holidays; they keep no Saints-Days, nor will they allow the Apostles to be Saints, yet they assume that Sacred Dignity to themselves; and say, in the Title Page of their Psalm-Book, Printed for the Edification of the Saints in Old and New-England.  
They have been very severe against Adultery, which they Punished with Death; yet, notwithstanding the Harshness of their Law, the Women are of such noble Souls, and undaunted Resolutions, that they will run the hazard of being Hanged, rather than not be revenged on Matrimony, or forbear to discover the Corruption of their own Natures.  
If you Kiss a Woman in Public, tho' offered as a Courteous Salutation, if any Information is given to the Select Members, both shall be Whipped or Fined. It's an excellent Law to make Lovers in Private make much of their time, since open Lip-Lechery is so dearly purchased. But the good humoured Lasses, to make you amends, will Kiss the kinder in a Corner.  
Public Kissing, and single Fornication are both of a Price; for which Reason the Women wisely consider▪ the latter may be done with more safety than the former; and if they chance to be Detected, and are forced to pay the Fine, they are sure beforehand of something for their Money.  
A Captain of a Ship who had been a long Voyage, happened to meet his Wife, and kissed her in the Street; for which he was fined Ten Shillings, and forced to pay the Money. What a Happiness, thought I, do we enjoy in Old-England, that can not only Kiss our own Wives, but other men's too without the danger of such a penalty.  
Another Inhabitant of the Town was fined Ten Shillings for Kissing his own wife in his Garden; and obstinately refusing to pay the Money, endured Twenty Lashes at the Gun: Who, in Revenge of his Punishment, Swore he would never Kiss her again, either in Public or Private. And at this rate, one of the delightfulest Customs in the World, will in time be quit thrown out of Fashion, to the Old Folks satisfaction, but to the Young ones Lamentation, who love it as well in New-England, as we do in the Old.  
A Man and Woman, were sentenced to be Whipped for the like offence▪ he being ordered Thirty Lashes, and she Twenty; but he having extorted the Kiss from her, was so Generous to Solicit the Select, that he might have the Fifty, and the Woman to be excused; which was consented to accordingly.  
Every Tenth Man is chose as one of the Select, who have Power, together, to Regulate and Punish all disorders that happen in their several Neighbourhoods. The Penalty for Drunkenness, is whipping or a Crown; Cursing or Swearing, the same Fine, or to be bored through the Tongue with a hot Iron: But get your Select Member into your Company and Treat him, and you may do either without offence; and be as safe as a Parishoner here in a Tavern in the Churchwardens Company in Sermon-time.  
A couple of Deacons Marching along the Street, espied a Woman in a corner relieving Nature from the uneasiness of a Burden she could keep no longer, one of them cried out to tother, pointing to the Stooping object, Brother, Brother, what a Shameful thing, what a Beastly thing is this? I Vow, Brother, this is a thing that ought to be Peeped into. The other being a more sensible Man, Prithee Brother (said he) do thou Peep into't then, for I care not to run such a hazard of my Eyesight. Besides (said he) the thing's to Deep for our inspection; and therefore we shall only be laughed at for meddling with the matter.  
They are very busy in detecting one another's failings; and he is accounted, by their Church Governors, a Meritorious Christian, that betrays his Neighbour to a Whipping-Post.  
A good Cudgel applied in the Dark, is an excellent Medicine for a Malignant Spirit. I knew it once Experienced at Boston, with very good success, upon an Old rigged Precisian, one of their Select, who used to be more than ordinary vigilant in discovering every little Irregularity in the Neighbourhood; I happening one Night to be pretty Merry with a Friend, opposite to the Zealots dwelling, who got out of his Bed in his Waistcoat and Drawers, to listen at our Window. My Friend having oft been served so, had left unbolted his Cellar Trap-door, as a Pitfall for Mr. Busybody, who stepping upon it, sunk down with an Outcry like a distressed Mariner in a sinking Pinnace. My Friend having planted a Cudgel ready, run down Stairs, crying Thiefs, and belaboured Old Troublesome very sevearly before he would know him. He crying out I am your Neighbour. You Lie, you Lie, you Rogue, says my Friend, my Neighbours are Honest Men, you are some Thief come to Rob my House. By this time I went down with a Candle, my Friend seeming wonderfully surprised to see 'twas his Neighbour, and one of the Select too, put on a Counterfeit Countenance, and heartily begged his Pardon. Away trooped the Old Fox, Grumbling and Shruging up his Shoulders; and became afterwards the most Moderate Man in Authority in the whole Town of Boston.  
A little Pains sometimes do good  
To such Cross Knotty Sticks of Wood  
Correction is the best receipt,  
To set a Crooked Temper Straight.  
If such Old Stubborn Boughs can Bend,  
And from a just Chastisement mend,  
Fond Parents pray asign a Reason,  
Why Youth should want it in due Season?  
The Women here, are not at all inferior in Beauty to the Ladies of London, having rather the Advantage of a better Complexion; but as for the Men, they are generally Meager; and have got the Hypocritical knack, like our English jews, of screwing their Faces, into such Puritanical postures that you would think they were always Praying to themselves, or running melancholy Mad about some Mystery in the Revelations: So that 'tis rare to see a handsome Man in the Country, for they have all one Cast, but of what Tribe I know not.  
A Woman that has lost her Reputation, hath lost her Portion, her Virginity is all her Treasure: And yet the Merry Lasses esteem it but a Trifle, for they had rather, by far, loose that than their Teeming-time.  
The Gravity and Piety of their looks, are of great Service to these American Christians▪ It makes strangers that come amongst them, give Credit to their Words. And it is a Proverb with those that know them, Whosoever believes a New-England Saint, shall be sure to be Cheated: And he that knows how to deal with their Traders, may Deal with the Devil and fear no Craft.  
I was mightily pleased one Morning with a Contention between two Boys at a Pump in Boston, about who should draw their Water first. One Jostled the other from the Handle, and he would fill his Bucket first, because his Master said Prayers and sung Psalms twice a Day in his Family, and the others Master did not. To which the Witty Knave made this reply, Our House stands backward in a Court: if my Master had a Room next the Street, as your Master has▪ he'd Pray twice to your Masters once, that he would, and therefore I'll fill any Pail first, Marry will I; and did accordingly.  
Some Years Ago, when the Factors at Boston were Credited with large Stocks by our English Merchants, and being backward in their Returns, and more in their Books then they were willing to satisfy, contrived this Stratagem to out-wit their Correspondents. As 'tis said, They set Fire to their Warehouses, after the disposal of their Goods, and Burnt them down to the Ground, pretending in their Letters, they were all undone, their Cargos and Books all destroyed; and so at once Balanced their Accounts, with England.  
One of their Factors, who had three or four Thousand pounds' worth of an English Merchants Goods in his Hands, sends him an Account of this Lamentable Mischance, to the purpose he was quite Ruined, and had lost all but a small Cheese of four Pound Weight, which he sent him for a present. The Merchant having had some Intelligence of the Roguery of his Factor, invites several Eminent Merchants (that dealt to New-England) to Dinner with him, who came accordingly, he having prepared an Extraordinary Feast to entertain them. They mightily condoled his great Loss, (he making slight of it) and blamed him for the Extravagancy of his Treat, after he had sustained so considerable a Misfortune. Ah! Gentlemen, says he, this is nothing to what I have provided you: I have one Dish still to come up, which cost me between three and four Thousand Pounds; and, notwithstanding its costliness, I think it not Good enough for such worthy Company. The Gentlemen looked one upon another, and thought he was Frenzical. In the interim, up came his New-England Present, under a cover. That's the Dish, says the Master of the Feast, that stood me in so many Thousands. 'Tis but a small Morsel, considering the Price. The Company all wondering of what delicates the Cook must have composed this Extravagant Kick-shaw, lifted up the Cover, and finding nothing but a Cheese, laughed as heartily at their Disapointment, as the Mob in the Fable at the Mountain-mouse. Then he continued their Mirth by unfolding the Riddle: And Swore, if ever he trusted a New-England Saint again for three Pence, the Devil should have a Title to him and his Heirs for half the Money.  
The Ground upon which Boston (the Metropolis of New-England) stands, was purchased from the Natives, by the first English Proprietors, for a Bushel of Wampum-peag and a Bottle of Rum, being of an inconsiderable Value. Therefore the Converted Indians, (who have the use of the Scriptures) cannot blame Esau for selling his Birthright for a mess of Porridge.  
The Latitude of Boston is accounted 42 deg. 30 Min. North. Its Longitude 315 deg. And is very commodiously Seated upon a Bay, large enough for the Anchorage of 500 Sail of Ships.   

Of the Country in General.  
New-England is computed to begin at 40, and end at 46 North Latitude; Running from De-la-Ware-Bay to Newfoundland. The Country is for the most part Wilderness, being generally Rocky, Woody and Mountainous, very rarely Beautified with Valleys, but those Large and Rich, wherein are Lakes thirty or forty Miles in compass, from whence their great Rivers have their beginnings, and are chiefly Succoured.  
There are many Plantations by the Seaside, Situate for the advantage of the East and South Winds, which coming from Sea produceth, warm Wether. The Nor-west blowing over Land, causeth extremity of Cold; and very often strikes both Indian and English Inhabitants with that terrible Distemper, called, the Plague in the Back.  
The Country, by its Climate, is always troubled with an Ague and Fever; As soon as ever the Cold fit's over, 'tis attended with a Hot: And the Natives themselves, whose bodies are Habituated to the sudden changes, from one Extreme to another, cannot but confess, They Freeze in Winter and Fry in Summer.  
A Ridg of White Mountains run almost through the Country, whereon lies a remembrance of the past Winter, in the warmest of their weather, An Indian at the sight of the Snow, lodged upon the Shoulders of these Hills, will Quake at Midsummer: For they love Cold like a Cricket. At the Top there is a large Plain, ten or twelve Leagues over, yielding nothing but Moss, where a Man may walk with his Mistress, in the height of his Juvenality, and not entertain one Thought of attempting her Chastity, it being fatally Cold, and above the Clouds; and would have been a rare place, for the presumptuous Babylonians to have Built their Tower on.  
Plymouth Plantation was the first English Colony that settled in New-England, in the Year 1618. Their Habitations, at their going on Shore, being empty Hogsheads, which they whelmed over their Heads to defend themselves from the cold Damps and falling Mischiefs of the Night. Each House having but one Window, and that's the Bunghole, requiring a Cooper instead of a Carpenter to keep their Houses in repair. Their Provision (till better acquainted with the Country) being only Pumkin, which they Cooked as many several ways, as you may Dress Venison: And is continued to this Day as a great dish amongst the English. Pumpkin Porridge being as much in esteem with New-England Saints, as jelly Broth with Old-England Sinners.  
Ten Years expired, before any other Colonies were Planted; since which time the Possessions of the English are so greatly improved, That in all their Colonies, they have above a Hundred and Twenty Towns, And is at this Time one of the most Flourishing Plantations belonging to the English Empire.  
There is a large Mountain, of a Stupendious height, in an Uninhabitable part of the Country, which is called the Shining Mountain, from an amaizing Light appearing on the Top, visible at many Leagues' distance, but only in the Night.  
The English have been very curious in examining the Reason of it; and have, in Bodies, with great Pains and Danger, attempted a rational Discovery of this Prodigy to no purpose: For they could not observe any thing upon it to occasion this unusual brightness. It is very terrible to the Indians, who are of a blind Opinion that it contains great Riches, and the Devil lives there; and do assert, That when any of them ascend this place, they are met by something in the figure of an Old Indian, that commands them to return, or if they proceed further they shall Die, which several have found true, by presuming to climb higher, heedless of the caution.   

Of the Native English in General.  
The Women (like the Men) are excessive Smokers; and have contracted so many ill habits from the Indians, that 'tis difficult to find a Woman cleanly enough for a Cook to a Squeamish Lady, or a Man neat enough for a Vallet to Sir Courtly Nice. I am sure a Covent-Garden Beau, or a Bell-fa would appear to them much stranger Monsters, than ever yet were seen in America.  
They Smoke in Bed, Smoke as they Nead their Bread, Smoke whilst they're Cooking their Victuals, Smoke at Prayers, Work, and Exonoration, that their Mouths stink as bad as the Bowl of a Sailor's Pipe, which he has funked in, without Burning, a whole Voyage to the India's.  
Eating, Drinking, Smoking and Sleeping, takes up four parts in five of their Time; and you may divide the remainder into Religious Excercise, Day Labour, and Evacuation. Four Meals a Day, and a good Knap after Dinner, being the Custom of the Country.  
Rum, alias Kill Devil, is as much adored by the American English, as a dram of Brandy is by an old Billingsgate. 'tis held as the Comforter of their Souls, the Preserver of their bodies, the Remover of their Cares, and Promoter of their Mirth; and is a Sovereign Remedy against the Grumbling of the Guts, a Kibe-heel, or a Wounded Conscience, which are three Epidemical Distempers that afflict the Country.  
Their Industry, as well as their Honesty, deserves equal Observation; for it is practicable amongst them, to go two miles to catch a Horse, and run three Hours after him, to Ride Half a Mile to Work, or a Quarter of a Mile to an Alehouse.  
One Husbandman in England, will do more Labour in a Day, than a New-England Planter will be at the pains to do in a Week: For to every Hour he spends in his Grounds, he will be two at an Ordinary.  
They have wonderful Appetites, and will Eat like Ploughmen; though very Lazy, and Plough like Gentlemen: It being no rarity there, to see a Man Eat till he Sweats, and Work till he Freezes.  
The Women are very Fruitful, which shows the Men are Industrious in Bed, tho' Idle up. Children and Servants are there very Plenty; but Honest-men and Virgins as scarce as in other places.  
Provisions being Plenty, their Marriage-Feasts are very Sumptious. They are sure not to want Company to Celebrate their Nuptials; for its Customary in every Town, for all the Inhabitants to Dine at a Wedding without Invitation: For they value their Pleasure at such a rate, and bear such an affection to Idleness, that they would run the hazard of Death or Ruin, rather than let slip so Merry a Holiday.  
The Women, like Early Fruits, are soon Ripe and soon Rotten. A Girl there at Thirteen, thinks herself as well Qualified for a Husband, as a forward Miss at a Boarding-School, does here at Fifteen for a Gallant.  
He that Marrys a New-England Lass at Sixteen, if she prove a Snappish Gentlewoman, her Husband need not fear she will bite his Nose off; for its ten to one but she hath shed her Teeth, and has done Eating of Crust, before she arrives to that Maturity.  
It is usual for the Men to be Grey at Thirty; and look as Shrivelled in the Face, as an old Parchment Indenture pasted upon a Barber's Block. And are such lovers of Idleness, That they are desirous of being thought Old, to have a better pretence to be Lazy.  
The Women have done bearing of Children by that time they are Four and Twenty: And she that lives un-Married till she's Twenty Five, may let all the Young Sports-men in the Town give her Maidenhead chase without the Danger of a Timpany.  
Notwithstanding their Sanctity, they are very Profane in their common Dialect. They can neither drive a Bargain, nor make a jest, without a Text of Scripture at the end on't.  
An English Inhabitant having sold a Bottle of Rum to an Indian (contrary to the Laws of the Country) was detected in it; and ordered to be Lashed. The Fellow bribed the Whipster to use him tenderly; but the Flog-master resolving (being a Conscientious Man) to do his Duty Honestly, rather punished the Offender with the greater severity, who casting a sorrowful look over his Shoulder, Cried out, the Scripture sayeth, Blessed is the Merciful Man. The Scourgineer replying, and it also says, Cursed is he that doth the work of the Lord Negligently: And for fear of coming under the Anathema, laid him on like an unmerciful Dog, till he had given him a through Fellow-feeling of his Cat of Nine-tailes.  
Their Lecture-Days are called by some amongst them, Whore Fair, from the Levity and Wanton Frolics of the Young People, who when their Devotion's over, have recourse to the Ordinaries, where they plentifully wash away the remembrance of their Old Sins, and drink down the fear of a Fine, or the dread of a Whipping-post. Then Vptails-all and the Devils as busy under the Petticoat, as a juggler at a Fair, or a Whore at a Carnival.  
Husking of Indian-Corn, is as good sport for the Amorous Wagtails in New-England, as Maying amongst us is for our forward Youths and Wenches. For 'tis observed, there are more Bastards got in that Season, than in all the Year beside; which Occasions some of the loser Saints to call it Rutting Time.  
Many of the Leading Puritan may (without Injustice) be thus Characterised. They are Saints without Religion, Traders without Honesty, Christians without Charity, Magistrates without Mercy, Subjects without Loyalty, Neighbours without Amity, Faithless Friends, Implacable Enemy's, and Rich Men without Money.  
They all pretend to be driven over by Persecution, which their Teachers Roar out against in their Assemblies, with as much bitterness, as a double refined Protestant can belch forth against the Whore of Babylon: Yet have they used the Quakers with such severity, by Whipping, Hanging, and other Punishments, forcing them to put to Sea in Vessels without Provision, they flying with Gladness to the Merciless Ocean, as their only Refuge under Heaven, left to escape the Savage Fury of their unchristian Enemies, till drove by Providence upon Rhoad-Island (so called from their accidental discovery of it in their Stroling Adventure) which they found full of Fruits and Flowers, a Fertile Soil, and extremely Pleasant, being the Garden of America; where they happily Planted themselves, making great improvements: There Live and Flourish, as the Righteous, like a Bay-Tree under the Noses of their Enemies.  
The Clergy, tho' they Live upon the Bounty of their Hearers, are as rediculously Proud, as their Communicants are shamefully Ignorant. For tho' they will not suffer their Unmannerly Flock to worship their Creator with that Reverence and Humility as they ought to do, but tell them 'tis Popery to uncover their Heads in the House and Presence of the Deity; yet they Oblige every Member to pay an humble respect to the Parson's Box, when they make their offerings every Sunday, and fling their Mites into their Teacher's Treasury. So that the Haughty Prelate exacts more Homage, as due to his own Transcendency, than he will allow to be paid to Heaven or its place of Worship.  
If you are not a Member in full Communion with one of their Assemblies, your Progeny is denied Baptism, for which reason, there are Hundreds amongst them, at Man's Estate, that were never Christened.  
All Handicraftsmen may live here very well, except a Pickpocket; of all Artificers he would find the least Encouragement; for the scarcity of Money would balk his Talent.  
An Eminent Planter came to me for an Ounce of Venice-treacle, which I would have sold him for a Shilling; he protested he had lived there Fifty Years, and never see in the whole Term, Ten Pounds in Silver-Money of his own; and yet was Rated at a Thousand Pounds, and thought the Assessors used him kindly▪ But gave me for my Medicine a Bushel of Indian-Corn, valued at half a Crown, and Vowed if a Shilling would save his Family from destruction, he knew not how to raise it.  
They have a Charter for a Fair at Salem, but it Begins, like Ingerstone Market, half an Hour after Eleven a Clock, and Ends half an Hour before Twelve: For I never see any thing in it but by great Accident, and those were Pumkins, which were the chief Fruit that supported the English at their first settling in these parts. But now they enjoy plenty of good Provisions, Fish, Flesh and Fowl, and are become as great Epicures, as ever Dined at Pontack's Ordinary.  
Lobsters and Codfish are held in such disdain, by reason of their Plenty, 'tis as Scandalous for a poor Man in Boston to carry one through the streets, as 'tis for an Alderman in the City of London, to be seen walking with a Groatsworth of Fresh-Herrings, from Billingsgate to his own House.  
There were formerly amongst them (as they themselves Report) abundance of Witches, and indeed I know not, but there may be as many now, for the Men look still as if they were Hagridden; and every Stranger; that comes into the Country, shall find they will Deal by him to this Day, as if the Devil were in 'em.  
Witchcraft they Punished with Death, till they had Hanged the best People in the Country, and Convicted the Culprit upon a single Evidence: So that any prejudiced person, who bore Malice against a Neighbour, had an easy method of removing their Adversary. But since, upon better consideration, they have Mitigated the severity of that unreasonable Law, there has not been one accused of Witchcraft, in the whole Country.  
Many are the bugbear stories reported of these supposed Negromancers, but few Believed, tho' I presume none True, yet all Collected and already Printed, I shall therefore omit the relating of any.  
They have one very wholesome Law, which would do mighty well to be in force in Old-England; which is a Peculiar method they have of Punishing Scolds. If any Turbulent Woman be Troubled with an unruly Member, and uses it to the Defamation of any Body, or disquiet of her Neighbours, upon Complaint, she is ordered to be Gauged and set at her own Door as many Hours as the Magistrates shall think fit, there to be gaized at by all Passengers till the time's expired. Which, to me▪ seems the most Equitable Law imaginable to Punish more particularly that Member which committed the Offence.  
Whipping is a Punishment so Practicable in this Country, upon every slight Offence, that at a Town upon the Sound, called New-Haven, the People do confess, that all the Inhabitants of that Place, above the Age of Fourteen, had been Whipped for some Misdemeanour or other (except two) the Minister and the justice..   

Of the Beasts.  
They have most sort of fourfooted Beasts that we have here, only something different in either Sise or Colour, but of the same Species. I shall only mention those which are Natives of that Country, and to us uncommon; for to Treat of Creatures daily to be seen, or heard of in our own Climate, will afford the Reader but little Satisfaction.  

First of the Moos-Deer.  
Of all the Creatures that inhabit these parts of America, the Moos-deer makes the most Noble figure: He is shaped like an English Deer, only round Footed; but of a stately Stature, seldom so low as the biggest of our Oxen. His Head fortified with Horns proportionable, whose Palms are very broad, full of indented branches, and are commonly two Fathom distance from Tip to Tip. His Flesh is not dry, like Venison, but moist and Luscious; extremely palatable, and very wholesome. The flesh of their Fawns, is also delicious Food; highly commended by all such who are more than ordinary Nice in obliging their Voluptuous Appetites. There is much said by the Physicians of that Country concerning the Excellent Virtues of the Horn of this Creature: Being looked upon as an incomparable Restorative against all inward weaknesses; and in all Cases where Harts-honn is prescribed, the Moos-horn they look upon to be a far better Medicine; half the Quantity being more powerful in effect.   

Of the Bear.  
The Bears that Inhabit this part of America, are generally of a blackish Colour during the Winter season, which is much colder than in England. They defend themselves from the hardship of the weather, by retiring into Caves, where they continue for about four Months; in which time their Snows are pretty well dissolved, and the severity of their Frost over. They are commonly very Fat in the fall of the Leaf, by feeding upon Acorns, at which time the Indians destroy a great many; looking upon 'em then to be incomparable Venison: But the Head, I believe, is but a sorry dish, because they hold the Brains to be Venomous. They are very fierce in Rutting-time; and then walk the Country round, thirty or forty in a Company, making a hedious roaring, which may be heard a Mile or two before they come near enough to endanger a Traveller. They will never injure a Man at any other time of the Year, except you attempt to hurt them first; But if you Shoot at one, and miss him, he will certainly destroy you; which makes the Indians sure of their Mark before ever they discharge their Piece. Their Skins they sell to the English, but the Flesh they Cook sundry ways, Salting and Drying some, of which they make extraordinary Bacon, no Hogs-flesh in the world being more pleasant to the Eye, grateful to the Taste, or agreeable to the Appetite.   

Of the Raccoon.  
It is a Creature about the bigness of a Cat, but of a different Species. It's Furr is of a dark colour, and in good esteem, tho' something course. He is of an Owlish disposition; and chooses for his Mansion-house a Hollow-Tree. They are mere Gluttons at Indian-Corn; and feed themselves in Autumn very fat. Their flesh is dark, like Venison; and accounted good Food Roasted.   

Of the Wildcat,  
Which the Indians call the Ounce. 'tis as tall as an English Bull-dog; and as fierce. Their manner of Preying, is to climb a Tree, and drop from the Branches upon the Back of Horse, Cow, Deer, or any Creature that is feeding under it; clinging close with their Talons, knawing a great hole between the Shoulders of the Beast, who runs full speed till he drops down Dead, and becomes a prey to his subtle Enemy. Their Flesh Roasted, is as good as Lamb, and as white.   

Of the Porcupine.  
This is a very peevish, also a dangerous Creature; being the height of an ordinary Mongrel, but in shape like an Hedgehog, armed all over with mischievous Darts, as a Hempdressers Comb with Teeth; which he exercises with as much Art as an old Soldier does his Pike, charging them according as you Attack him, to the Right, Left, Front, or Rear, which they will Shoot at their Enemies a considerable distance; and wherever they Stick in the Flesh, if you pluck them not out presently, they will work through. The Indians use these Quills to adorn their Birchen Dishes. The Flesh they do not Eat.   

Of the Beaver.  
This is an Amphibeous Creature, rather larger than an Otter, Hairy all over but his Tail, which is Scaly like a Fish; and is of an admirable Instinct, as is observed by their artificial Dam-heads, by which, in dry Seasons, they raise the Water to their Houses, when the Pond, upon whose brinks they dwell, is sunk from its usual Edges. Their Nests or Burrow which they make, are three Stories high, that in case excessive Rains should overflow their first and second Floor, they may mount into their Garrets, there Sleep in a dry Skin till the Floods abated. They have two pair of Testacles, one soft and Oily; and the other pair hard or solid. The Women dry the latter, and grate them into Wine, to further Generation, remove the causes of Barrenness, prevent Miscarriages, and to strengthen Nature against, and also moderate the Pains of Delivery. They Eat no part of this Creature but the Tail, which they flay and boil, accounting it rare Victuals. It's very Fat, and Eats like Marrow, being an excellent Supper for a Bridegroom, or good Food for that unhappy Man who has Married a Wife much Younger than himself: Of their Fur, mixed with Coney-wooll, they make your Beaver-hats.   

Of the Jackall.  
These are very numerous in New-England. They are the colour of a Grey Rabbit; something less than a Fox, having much the same Scent, but not so strong. This is the Creature reported to hunt the Lion's prey, which make some suspect there are Lions, but there never was but one seen as we have any account of; and that was shot by an Indian, with Bow and Arrow, Sixty Years ago, as he lay Dormant upon the Body of an Oak, by a Hurricane blown up by the Roots. The jackall is sometimes Eaten by the Indians.  
Wolves there are abundance, of two sorts, one like a Mongrel, which kills Goats, Sheep, etc. And the other shaped like a Greyhound, which preys upon Deer. They are very shy and difficult to be Shot or Trapped. Their manner of destroying them, being by four Maycril-hooks, which they bind together, with their Beards reversed, then hide them with a Ball of Tallow, and tie it to the Carcase of any thing they have just killed, from which you have scared them, and when he comes to make up his Meal, being a lover of Fat, he certainly takes your Bait, and becomes your Prisoner.  
Besides what I have above mentioned, they have a great deal of good Provisions, as Beef, Mutton, Kid, Swines-Flesh, etc. Also great Plenty both of Fish and Fowl; the Particulars being too large to Treat of in so Brief an Account.    


Of the Indians, and first of the Men.  
They are generally of a comely Stature, grave Disposition, deliberate in their Talk, and courteous in their Carriage, quick of Apprehension, very Ingenious, Subtle, Proud and Lazy.  
There is nothing they Value so much as Liberty and Ease. They will not become Servile upon any Terms whatsoever, or abridge their Native Freedom, with either Work or Confinement, to gain the Universe: For they neither covet Riches, or dread Poverty: But all seem Content with their own Conditions, which are in a manner Equal.  
For these four Virtues they are very Eminent, viz. Loyal to their Kings, Constant to their Wives, Indulgent to their Children, and Faithful to their Trust.  
For nothing will tempt them to offer Violence to their Sagamore, to abuse their Squawes, use Soverity with their Papooses, or betray a Secret; rather choosing to die then do either.  
They call themselves Hunters; and are very dexterous at the use of either Gun or Bow, by the excercise of which; they maintain themselves and Families.  
They acknowledge a God, whom they Worship for his Benefits. They believe a Devil, whom they Adore through Fear. And have a Blind Notion of Futurity, which appears by their manner of Interring their Dead, with whom they bury his Bow, Gun, with Provisions for his Journey into a better Country; but where or what it is they know not.  
Upon the breaking out of a War, or such extraordinary Occasions, as the old Romans consulted their Oracles, so do the Indians their Pawaws, which are a kind of Wizards: And at a General Pawawing, the Country a Hundred Miles round assemble themselves in a Body; and when they are thus met, they kindle a large Fire, round which the Pawaw walks, and beats himself upon his Breast, muttering out a strange sort of intricate Jargon, till he has Elevated himself into so great an Agony, that he falls down by the Fire in a Trance; during which time, the Sagamores ask him what they have a mind to know: After which, he is conveyed through the Fire, in the same posture that he lies, by a Power invisible, in the sight of the Spectators; then awakes, and Answers the several Questions asked by their Kings or Sachems.  
The chiefest Vice amongst them is Drunkenness, which (to the Reputation of Christianity) they learned of the English: And are so greedy of being Drunk, when they have purchased any Rum, that if they have not enough to Fuddle their whole Society, they draw Cuts who shall Drink, till it falls into the hands of so few, they may be sure to have their Bellies full. When they get Drunk they are very Mischievous one to another: But are never known to offer any Indignity to their Kings, who are Hail Fellow well met with his Subjects.  
Their Garments are Mantles, about the bigness of a Cradle-Rug, made of course English Cloth, which they call a Coat. They also have a piece of the same Cloth, about six Inches wide, between their Legs, tucked under a Deer's-Skin Belt, to hide their Privities, by them called Breeches. Adorning themselves with Beads of several Colours, of their own making. Their Heads, Breast, Legs and Thighs being bare. Sometimes, for their Children, they Wove Coats of Turkey Feathers.  
Their Houses they call Wigwams; and are built with bended Poles, after the fashion of our Arbours, covered with Bark of Trees, and lined with Mats they make of Rushes, leaving a hole at top for a Smoke-vent, kindling their Fires in the middle of their Wigwams. Their Lodging is upon Hurdles, raised from the Ground with Wooden Stump.   

Of their Women.  
Their Squaws when Young, are generally round Visageed, well Feitured, Plump, and Handsome; black-Eyed, with Alabaster Teeth, a Satin Skin, and of excellent proportion; with tolerable Complexions, which they injure much with Red-lead and Bears-grease, being so silly to believe it gives an advantage to their Beauty.  
They are extremely Modest when Virgins; very Continent when Wives, Obedient to their Husbands, and tender Mothers to their Children. From whom our English Ladies might learn those Virtues, which would heighten their Charms, and Illusterate their Perfection beyond the Advantages of gaudy Dresses.  
They are much in the Condition of our first Parents; having a little more than a Fig-leaf to hide their Nakedness: Yet the modestty of their deportment, makes it not look like Impudence but Necessity.  
They carry their Children at their Backs, laced to a Board in the form of a Boot-jack: which is said to be the reason their Children are never Rickety, or shall you ever see a Bandy-leged or Crooked Indian.   

Of their Food.  
Their Diet is Fish, Fowl, Bear, Wild-cat, Raccoon, Deer, Oysters, Lobsters roasted or dried in Smoke, Lampres, Moot-tongues dried, which they esteem a dish for a Sagamore. With hard Eggs Pulverised, they thicken their Broth; Indian-Corn and Kidney-Beans boiled, Earth-Nuts, Chest-Nuts, Lilly-Roots, Pumpkins, Million, and divers sorts of Berries; Cooked after various manners.   

Their Distempers are,  
Quinsies, Pleurisies, Sciatica, Headache, Palsy, Dropsy, Worms, Cancer, Pestilent Fever and Scurvy; For all which Diseases, the Indians are Incomparable Physicians: Being well skilled in the Nature of Herbs and Plants of that Country. But the English will not make use of them, because their Ministers have infused this Notion into 'em, That what they do, is by the Power of the Devil.    
FINIS.