A GODLY FORM OF HOUSEHOLD GOVERNMENT: FOR THE ORDERING OF PRIVATE FAMILIES, according to the direction of God's Word. Whereunto is adjoined in a more particular manner, the several duties of the Husband towards his wife: and the wife's duty towards her Husband. The Parent's duty towards their children: and the children's towards their parents. The Master's duty towards his servants: and also the servant's duty towards their Masters. First gathered by R. C. and now newly perused, amended and augmented by john Dod and Robert Clever. ISIDORE. Thou profitest much when thou readest, if thou practisest that which thou readest. BERNARD. What availeth it thee to read often in books the holy Name of our Saviour, except thou study and endeavour to have godliness in thy behaviour? LONDON, Printed by R. Field for Thomas Man, and are to be sold by Arthur johnson, near the great North door of Paul's Church. 1621. TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFUL MASTER ROBERT Burgaine of Roxall, one of his Majesty's justices of peace in the County of Warwick: to the right worshipful Master john Dive of Ridlington Park, in the County of Rutland: and to the worshipful Master Edmund Temple of Temple hall in the Countse of Leicester, Esquires, as also to their religious and virtuous wives: R. C. wisheth with heart and mind, grace from God the Father, by jesus Christ, and constancy in the truth of the Gospel, to the end, and in the end. Auing collected & finished this Treatise ensuing, and devising very carefully with myself to whom I might Dedicate the same: at length I resolved that none were meeter to undertake the patronage thereof, than some such meet persons, as did already (in some good measure) practise within their several charges, the several points and duties contained therein, and so would further prosecute those other necessary parts, which they have yet in some part pretermitted. Whereupon, calling to mind the holy exercises daily used and exercised in all your houses, I was moved for two causes, to make you all jointly Patrons thereof. First, for that I acknowledge myself beholden and indebted unto you all diversely, since my first acquaintanoe with you; and therefore (left I should deserve the blame of unthankfulness for benefits received) I am bold under your Names, to offer to the whole Church of God these my simple collections. Secondly, for that as you are all joined and linked in kindred by reason of marriage: so also you are, and have been a long time inseparably knit in a zealous and sincere profession of God's word and Religion. And for so much as I may not (for many respects) accomplish what good I willingly would: yet lest I should be thought to spend the remainder of my years in an idle condition, or to hide my talon in a napkin; I have been no less careful than willing, to labour other ways to do what I may to glorify God, and profit his Church. Neither will these my labours be utterly unprofitable, if my purpose therein be rightly conferred with the purpose of my writings. For such Householders as pretend to be great Protestants and sound professors of the Gospel, may long enough talk of Discipline, and still complain of the want of Church government; but all in vain, and to no purpose, unless they will begin this most necessary discipline, in reforming their own houses according to the direction in this Treatise, and so suffer the holy religion of God to take place among their family at home, otherwise they shall travel much, and profit little. For although there be never so good laws in Cities, never so pure order in Churches, yet if masters of families do not practise at home catechising in their houses, and join their helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers, they may in truth (but unjustly as many have done) complain that their children and servants are disordered, and corrupted abroad, when in truth, they were disordered, and are still corrupted and marred at home. And therefore it cannot be, neither is it to be hoped for, that either the father of his children, or the husband of his wife, or the master of his servants, should look for that obedience, that reverence, that faithfulness, and that dutifulness, which they of right aught to have, and the other in conscience, and of bounden duties are bound to perform, unless they do now at length endeavour to see these orders and duties hereafter mentioned, to be practised within their several households. For if Parents and Householders shall perform no further duty to their children and servants, then to provide for them, meat, drink and apparel, and to pay them their wages: then Papists, Atheists, yea Turks and infidels, do yield this duty as well as they. And seeing all men be careful that their horses and bullocks should have sufficient fodder and provender, to the end they may have their labour in lieu and recompense thereof: it doth consequently follow, that therefore a Christian householder ought to have over his children and servants as much more Christian care, than he hath over dumb and insensible beasts, that so he may receive a singular comfort from the daily contemplation of their increase in spiritual graces. Oh what a sweet and comfortable thing shall this be to the soul and conscience of such an Householder, when he hath been so diligent and careful in the training and bringing up of his children and servants in the obedience and ways of the Lord, that he may rightly deserve to have this worthy report and commendation given unto him, from the mouth and pen of the godly: Namely, that he hath a Church in his house: that is, a company of sound and faithful Christians, such as fear God indeed? as the like report was given by the Apostle to those godly housekeepers, Aquila and Priscilla his wife: Rom. 16. 5. 1. Cor. 16. 19, as also to Philemon, Phil. 2. Therefore all Parents and householders are (in the Lord) to be exhorted, that they would be careful to bring up their children and family, so as they either (by some good tokens,) may see them the children of God, and heirs of his Covenant, or at the least, they may be comforted in their own consciences, notwithstanding that their children and servants (for some cause unknown to them) do refuse their counsel and instruction; seeing they to the uttermost of their power and ability, have used all good means to bring them up well, and have rightly offered them to the Lord. Now if parents and masters have just cause to bewail and lament, when (thus travelling in good education & information) they cannot yet see good effects, and godly fruits in their children and servants: how much more cause of grief may they have, when they have used & bestowed no labour at all, (either by themselves, or others for them) to bring them up in the nurture and fear of the Lord? And yet alas, many will be grieved for the one, that will not be any thing moved for the other. Wherefore let all parents and masters of families know and learn, that if they will convey God's blessings to their posterities, than they must do and perform the duties belonging thereunto. Yea, let them (if they be loath to convey God's judgements to their children) carefully avoid the means unto it. And surely as it is a blessed thing in the hour of death, with Simeon, to depart in peace, leaving their Luke 2. 29. wives, children, and servants members of Christ, spouses to Christ, children to God, and servants to the Lord: so in extremity of death, no one thing will be more grievous unto parents and householders, than (the Lord having given them the charge of so many souls to be furthered to salvation) that 〈◊〉 own tormented consciences shall press them, in as much as they have helped their children and servants forward to their damnation; and so (which is more fearful) they shall have them spewing and foaming on their faces, continual curses in hell, then accusing them for ever to be the murderers of their souls, and cutthroats of their salvation. Is it any marvel, if householders many times find small obedience, & less dutifulness and faithfulness at the hands of their children and servants, seeing they omit and leave undone the performance of these so Christian duties towards them herein expressed, and enjoined of the Lord? For so doth God often leave manifest tokens of his wrath, in punishing disobedience with disobedience. How can any master of a household, whatsoever he be, look to have his family trusty and faithful unto him, and yet he himself is faithless to God? Doth he marvel, that his children and servants fear not him, whereas he himself feareth not the Lord? Will he maintain his authority over those under his charge, and he himself doth not yield obedience unto the authority of God his Creator? Moreover, it is manifest, that the good man of the house, by planting God's religion in his family, shall not a little advance and set forward his own private profit and commodity. For wicked and ungodly servants, are for the most part loiterers, pickers, and deceitful: whereas on the other side, godly servants are just and faithful, whom in his absence he may trust to Gen. 30. 30. and 39 5. etc. do such business and work as he willeth them to do. If masters of families be careful and desirous (as in conscience they ought) that their wives, children, and servants, should reform themselves, and endeavour to practise such duties as do appertain and belong unto them; then they must likewise be diligent and careful to reform themselves, both inwardly and outwardly, in such points and duties as hitherto they have left undone: otherwise, they may justly say unto them: Physician healc yourself: ere, why do you will us Luke 4. 23. & 22. 32. Rom. 2. 21. to do that which you do not practise yourself? For as one candle cannot light another if itself be out: even so a master of a household shall not reform those of his charge, and inflame them with the love of God and godliness, if he himself be void of the same. Let every master of a household therefore say and perform with joshua: I and my family will serve the Lord: jos. 24. 15. And likewise let every Christian Lady, Mistress, and Dame, say with Hester: I and my maids will do the like: Hest. 4. 16. And so no doubt, God will pour his blessings on them and theirs in this life, and everlasting happiness on them in the life to come. Touching the Book itself, I will not say any thing to the commendation thereof, but only this: That I am assured, that if such duties as are mentioned therein, were duly and carefully practised of all such as are named in it, than (no doubt) virtue and godly religion would greatly flourish, to the advancement of God's glory; and also sin and wickedness would then decrease and fall down, to the utter subversion and overthrow of Satan's kingdom. This Treatise I confess is not garnished with eloquence, nor full of great cunning, nor beautified with flowers of man's wisdom, neither yet doth it discourse or treat of high or dark things, neither is it stuffed with subtle questions and arguments, nor indicted with Rhetorical and eloquent stile, as those commonly be, which are propounded and set forth to the world, rather for boasting and vainglory sake, then for any desire to edify, and to do others good: but it is plain, and without any great gayness; yet so full of good, necessary, The profit of this book. and wholesome instructions, that whosoever readeth, and marketh it with a right disposed mind, and willing to practise it, without respect to any other things, than God, the reformation of his life, and the 〈◊〉 of his 〈◊〉 (which is the only work which Christians must level at) he may reap singular, profit thereby. And undoubtedly, it may well be said, that unto Good books 〈◊〉 to climb up to heaven. true Christians, good and holy books are as ladders to climb up unto heaven: as sparks to kindle the 〈◊〉 of the Spirit, when it is quenched, or waxen cold in them; and as props to stay up their faith, that it may increase. Praying therefore your Worships, to accept of my dutiful good will, and to pardon my boldness, I cease to add any further things: beseeching God of his endless mercy for Christ's sake, to strengthen you still in that good and happy course of his word, and all other good learning: to furnish you all abundantly with all spiritual and heavenly knowledge, to the careful practising of the same, in the fruits of your most holy and blessed callings, to the advancement of the glory of our God, and to your own everlasting comfort in Christ jesus. So be it. Your Worships in all Christian dutifulness, most willing, R. C. A GODLY FORM OF HOUSEHOLD GOVERNMENT: CAREFULLY TO be practised of all Christian Householders. AN Household is as it were a little Commonwealth, by the good government whereof, God's glory may be advanced, and the commonwealth which standeth of several families benefited; and all that live in that family receive much comfort and commodity. But this government of a Family is not very common in the world: for it is not a thing that men can stumble on by chance. By Wisdom The rule of good government is wisdom: (saith Solomon) is an house builded, and with understanding it is established; and with knowledge shall the chambers thereof be filled with all precious and pleasant riches: that is, shall obtain all kind of Pro. 24. 3. 4 blessings. See also Pro. 28. 2 by which two places it is manifest, that such families as are not ordered by hap hazard, or as it falls, but by wisdom, discretion, and counsel, do prosper in inward & outward goods, and endure long. When we Not carnal wisdom. speak of wisdom, we do not mean that this government can be in all points exercised by natural reason and wisdom: for man's wisdom reacheth but unto one point, and that the least of that which family-government tendeth unto. But the wisdom that we speak of, is not But learned out of the word. natural, but fetched from the fountain of all wisdom, God himself: who by his word giveth unto us pure light to walk by, not in the Church alone, nor in public society of men only, but even within the secret of our own walls, and towards such as be abiding under the same roof. And if we desire to walk with God as Enoch did, we must set up this light for Gen. 5. 24. Psal. 119. 3. Wisdom is great wealth. ourselves to live by at home: For than we do no iniquitic, when we walk in his way. Where no wisdom is used in governing families, there all goeth to wrack, and there many enormities are Without wisdom whatsoever a man taketh in hand, turneth to his own hurt. to be found, as woeful breaches between man and wife, gracelessness and unthrifrinesse of children, lewdness of servants, and foul escapes. And where carnal policy ruleth, and not the wisdom which is from above, there all that is done, tendeth to the ease, pleasure, and profit of this life, wherein it is fitter for bruit beasts then for men to seek their felicity. Now that there is a good kind of governing of a family, which they who follow wisely, may be said to govern well, appeareth out of the first Epistle to Timothy 3. verse. 4. 5. One that It is out of doubt that the wise and skilful government of a house is found out by Prudence, defended by Science, and conserved by Experience. guideth his house well. etc. And after: He that knoweth not to govern his own house, etc. Whereby it is evident, that there is a way of ordering the family aright, and there is no misgoverning of it. To set down this good government exactly, is a hard matter. Here only we will note some things which do appertain unto that government which we speak of. And to do it more orderly, that it may be the better understood, we must consider, that (as may also be gathered out of that place of Timothy) there are two sorts in every perfect family. 1. The Governors. 2. Those that must be ruled. And these two sorts have special duties belonging to them, the one towards the other: in Whereof a family consists. the careful performance whereof, from the one to the other, consisteth the good government of a family. The governors of a family, be such as have The first sort are such as have authority in the family. authority in the family by God's ordinance, as the father and mother, master and mistress. To whom as God hath given authority over their children and servants, so he would have them to use it to the wise government of Who must use their authority. them, not only for their own private profit, credit, or pleasure, but also for the good of those whom they are to govern: for by a wise government, much good cometh to the parties governed. If masters then or parents do not If the governor be charged with weighty affairs, he may appoint one to govern his house, as Abraham, and Potiphar did. govern, but let servants and children do as they list, they do not only disobey God, and disadvantage themselves, but also hurt those whom they should rule: for when as any have such liberty to do as they list, it maketh them grow out of order, to the provoking of God's displeasure, and curse against themselves, whereas if they had been held: in by the bridle of Government, they might be brought to walk so, Gen. 24. 2. and Gen. 39 4. as the blessing of God might follow them in their courses. All government of a family must be in comeliness A property of good government. or decency, that is, it must be such as is meet and convenient both for the governor, and for the persons governed. And therefore it 1. Tim. 3. 7. is impossible for a man to understand how to govern the common wealth, that doth not know to rule his own house, or order his own person; so that he that knoweth not to govern, deserveth not to reign. lordliness is unmeet in an household government, and yet familiarity with such as are under government breedeth contempt. Again, for the persons governed, all in the family are not to be governed alike. There is one rule to govern the wife by, another for children, another for servants. One rule for young ones, another for old folks. The government of a Family tendeth unto two things specially. First, Christian holiness: The marks that family's government aimeth 〈◊〉. And secondly, the things of this life. By the first, God is glorified; by the second, this present life is sustained, in such sort, as God seeth good for us. How-soever, where Humane policy is the rule of Household government, there men only have an eye to the things of this life: yet they which fetch their Wisdom to rule by out of the Word, shall understand that their government must not only be civil, but godly also: that is, they must seek to have holiness found in their habitation, whereby God may be glorified, as well as riches gotten, that they may be comforted. This hath been the course of holy men in former Ages. Abraham flected often from place to place, Gen. 12. 7. 8. & 13. 18. & 11. 33. 1. & 22. 9 yet he built an Altar wheresoever he became; yea, and trained up his Family in the fear of God. He did not seek excuse in his unsettled estate, to let pass the cares of holiness. Holy job was not contented only to worship God himself alone, but sanctified his sons, that is, job. 1. 7. prepared them to worship God with him. jacob at his return from Padan-Aram, purged his Family, and set up God's worship there. josuab saith; Though others would forsake the Lord, yet he and his Family would cleave unto him, josua. 24. 25. and serve him, The virtuous Woman openeth her Prou. 31. 26. etc. mouth in wisdom, and teacheth mercy unto her servants. Many of the faithful, when they themselves believed in Christ, laboured to bring their families to the faith also. Parents are also commanded to bring up their children in the instruction Acts. 10. & 16. 14. 15. Ephes. 6. 4. and information of the Lord. By all which places it is evident, that religion must be stirring in Christian families, & that good government looketh to bring godly behaviour into families, as well as thrift and good husbandry. For want of this care, many parents leave their children fair faces, and foul minds; proper bodies, and deformed souls: full coffers, and empty hearts. For want of this, God may dwell in Churches, if he will, but he hath no abode allowed him in private families. For will God be where he may not rule, but must be an underling, and stand and look on, when profit and pleasure shall be served, and aloft? Yet the Spirit of God saith; That God will come and dwell with them that love him, and keep 1. joh 3. 24. & 12. 13. his Commandments. Where therefore holiness is not sought for in families, there God hath no friends, norlovers, nor walkers with him, howsoever they will sometimes come visit him in the Church. Besides, the ill success that such walkers have, who make their houses Temples to Mammon and riches, should teach us to have a principal respect to God, in Christianity ruling our houses. Many thrive not, but put that which Mat. 6. 24. they get into a bottomless bag. For God who hath none, or the lowest regard in their courses, and household affairs, withholdeth his blessings from them: and then in vain do men rise early, and go late to bed, and eat the bread of Hag. 1. 6. Psal 127. 1. carefulness. Others thrive, but it is a woeful thirst, that serveth to harden the heart, and to bewitch the soul, with love and liking of this world. For God's just judgement is upon many this way; because they will needs serve their own commodity chiefly at home, the Lord giving them up to themselues, they never serve him but coldly, and for custom sake at the Church: and God accepteth no more of their worship they do there, than they love and like of his government in their houses. The Governors of families, if (as it is in marriage) there be more than one upon whom the The sorts of governors. Householders or housekeepers, are persons authorised ower their households and charge. charge of government lieth, though unequally, are, first the chief governor, which is the Husband, secondly, a fellow-helper, which is the Wife. These both, do owe duties to their family, and duty one to another. The duties they owe to their family, both concerning godliness, and the things of this life, belong either to the Husband especially, or to the Wife especially. The duties that belong to the Husband touching holiness, are such as The duty of the Husband touching holiness, which he must perform to them. either He must 1. Perform to them of his family. 2. Or require of them. The duties which he must perform to them, are; first, touching the public ministry of the Word, to provide that they may live under an 1 To see that they have the Word ordinarily, the 〈◊〉 whereof is the greatest plague that can be. ordinary ministry of the word, or else to take order, that always upon the Sabbath, and at other times when it may be, they resort to such places where they may have the word ministered unto them: for else how shall they be brought into the Sheepfold of God, (from which naturally Amo 8. 11. Esa. 32. 1. 2. 3. 4. they go 〈◊〉) but by hearing the voice of the chief Shepherd, speaking unto them by those whom he sendeth? How shall they believe, Ro. 10. 14. jam. 1. 28. 19 21. and so be begotten again, by the seed of the word, except they hear such as God sendeth, 1. Pet. 2. 2. Heb. 2. 1. Ephe. 4. 11. 12. jam. 2. 11. for the begetting of men unto him? How shall they be reconciled unto God, but by hearing his messengers, into whose mouths he hath put the word of reconciliation? How shall they grow in faith, and increase in grace, but by receiving with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save their souls? Seeing then the word preached is the means to beget men to a new life, and to nourish them in it: a great duty lieth upon the Governors of Families, to provide by some means that they may have it. For where the word is not preached, there the Lords Sabbath cannot be hallowed as it ought. Now the Lord would not only have Masters of Families to keep holy the Sabbath themselves, in all the parts of his worship, public and private: but also that every one should in his several place and room, carefully to take order that so many as be committed to his All superiors ought to be careful that their inseriors do keep holy that day, as well as themselves. charge should sanctify the Lords day, as well as himself. Which though it be true in all other commandments; (namely, that whatsoever we are bound to do ourselves, we must be means to further others in doing the same, because the love of God, and of our Neighbour, spreadeth itself over all the Commandments: and therefore though it be not expressed, it is necessarily understood) yet in the fourth commandment, it is so much the more required, because besides the analogy and proportion between it and the other Commandments, which do enforce it, the very words themselves do bind us thereunto. For when it is said, Thou and thy Son, and thy Daughter, thy Man-sernant, and thy Maid: though it speaketh by name only of resting upon the Sabbath; yet because the end of that is, that the day might be sanctified, look how many reasons there be to bind the inferiors to rest, and the superiors to provide that they do so indeed; so many are there to compel them to sanctify the day in their own persons, and in so many, as belong unto them, Therefore, when first of all it is generally said in this fourth Commandment, Remember the Deut. 5. 15. Sabbath-day, that thou keep it holy; And afterwards: The seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord thy God; that is, which must be dedicated unto his service: & in the end you must therefore rest, that you might serve him in it as he requireth: and then nameth the several parties that should rest: His meaning is to declare the right end of their resting: and so speaking by name to the Governors, saith; Thou, and thy son, and thy daughter, thy manservant, and thy maid, the stranger that is within thy gates; to show unto them that it is not sufficient for them to look that they under their government should rest, unless they sanctify the day of rest also; which they must be so much careful of, by how much the sanctification of the day is greater than the ceasing to work upon it, as the end whereunto this is but referred: and therefore if it be a sin in them at any time, not to have a sufficient regard unto them that they do not work, than it must needs be a great sin, if that through their negligence they do not sanctify and keep holy the day of rest. So that here the Lord God requireth, that in all places, there should be such good laws publicly in the Common wealth, and privately in men's houses established, and diligently executed, as thereby not only the rulers, but also all in subjection, should be compelled to They ought not to leave it to their discretion as a thing indifferent: but to compel them thereto. sanctify the Lords day, and that they should be sure they do it indeed. And as he must not leave it indifferent to them, to choose whether they will work or rest, and so think it sufficient that they do not lay any work upon them; So is it not enough that they hinder them not from serving God upon that day, unless they procure all the means unto them, whereby God might be worshipped of them, and see that they worship God in them, as well as themselves. Therefore, the masters of families, must provide as much as lieth in them, that the word be publicly preached where they dwell: not for themselves alone, but for their children and servants take, that they might keep holy the day together with them: and they must not only come themselves to the place of common-prayer, and divine service, but bring these also with them, and spend the rest of the day in all private godly exercises themselves, and cause others to do so also. And here, lest this might seem too heavy unto us, and that it might not be grievous to take so great a charge upon us, we must remember, that as we have great help by our inferiors in many things, so the Lord would have us to help them in the chief and princîpall: and as he hath made them our servants, so we should make them his servants; and when they have served us six days, we might cause them to serve him upon the seventh. And as the Lord hath preferred us above them with their service, so he would humble us with this charge and care over them, or rather exalt us, in that he would have us to be, as it were the overseers of his work: and not only serve him ourselves, but also see his service done by others committed to our charge; which if ye do not, wherein shall the Christian Governors of Households, differ from the Infidels and Heathen? and what greater thing shall we do for our Servants then they? Nay, what shall we do more for them then for the bruit beasts and cattle that work under us? to whom we give rest and ease from labour upon the Sabbath: if we cause them not to Sanctify the day of Rest; in which they shall differ from all other, not only Beasts, but Men. And this is the meaning of that Law, which Moses gave to the Israelites, Commanding them Deut 11. 10. So have the Servants of God done in times past, in their sever all families. to write the word of God upon the Posts of their houses, and upon their Gates. Whereby all under government, were taught, what should be required of them so long as they lived in those houses, namely, to serve God: and all governors were taught, what specially to look after in all them that went in and out of their gates, and lived under the roof of their houses, even to serve the Lord in all parts of his worship, for which end he hath given them such authoritié over them. According to which Commandément, the worthy Captain of God's people jehoshua, made this protestation before all the Elders of Israel a little before his death, exhorting them to do the like: I and mine house will serve the Lord: promising not josh. 24. 15. only for himself, but for all his, which though it was too hard to do, yet because he knew how many means the Lord had given him to bring it to pass, which also God would bless (as all godly exhortations, admonitions, and chastisements, whereby if they did not profit, he had authority to thrust them out of his house, and to rid himself of them all, which he was purposed to put in practice,) therefore he was bold thus to speak of himself, thereby showing what all men should propound to themselves, and may attain unto. The like whereof David speaketh of himself, in that worthy Psalm, 101. which is left as a pattern for all Christian governors to rule by: wherein he showeth, how he would rule not only himself, but his household, nay the whole kingdom, by having an eye to them that were good, to reward them, and to them that were bad, to punish them: that so not only himself, but all his, might serve the Lord. After the same manner in the time of the Captivity, when the noble Queen Hester willed all the dispersed jews to keep holy three days together in fasting and prayer, that so they might entreat the Lord to deliver them from that final destruction and utter ruin, which Haman the cursed Amalekite and sworn enemy of God's people, had determined to bring upon them speedily, she said, That she and her maids would do the like. Hest. 4. 16. Whereby no doubt, she insinuated unto them, that in every household, her meaning was, that it should be thoroughly kept on all sides, not only of the rulers, and some few, but of all others, even unto the maid servants. Now, the Sabbath, and the day of Fast, are both of one nature, as the word doth sufficiently bear witness. Therefore if this hath been the practice of the Church upon that day to fast; and not the chief alone, but their families also: then must we needs be persuaded, that upon the Lord's day, we ought ourselves, and our households to serve the Lord, and to say with joshua, I and mine house will serve the Lord: and with Hester, I and my servants will do the like. And how could that have been verified of the religious captain Cornelius, which is written of him, That he was a devout man, and one Acts. 10. 1. that feared God with all his household? unless he had not only frequented the common assemblies upon the Sabbath days, but had also acquainted his servants therewith? Therefore as the Lord himself speaketh of Abraham, who is the father of all believers, I know that Gen. 18. 10. he will command his sons, and his household after him: that they keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and judgement, that the Lord may bring upon Abraham, that he hath spoken unto him: So it must be practised of all them that will be the children of this faithful Abraham; and enjoy the same promise that he and his posterity did, even that they cause their children and their servants, to keep holy the Sabbath, wherein consisteth the true worship of the Lord, that so they might walk in that way which hath the promises of this life, and the life to come. So than it may most evidently appear, both by the words of the Commandment, and by the practice of the best men in the old and new Testament, that this duty is laid upon all householders, diligentlyto oversee the ways of their families, that they serve God, as in all other duties, so especially in sanctifying the Sabbath, as they will answer to the contrary at their peril, to him that hath put them in authority, and as they will give an account for their souls, which otherwise might perish through their default. Which though it be so strictly required of all men, and under so great a pain laid upon them, yet it is so generally neglected of the But in our time, it is for the most part, wholly neglected. greatest part, that we may rather complain of it justly with grief, then have any hope of the speedy reformation of it. For besides that a great many have no care to sanctify the day themselves, and therefore cannot with any conscience require it of their servants and children, but either set them to work, or play, and to do any thing upon that day, saving that which they should, and do encourage them thereunto by their own ill example and words: there be others also, who though they seem to have some care to keep holy the day themselves, (and have indeed) yet either through ignorance, or negligence, do not once look to their household, whether they come to Church or no, and sit there attentively, and continue there with profit to the ending, nor how they spend the rest of the day: but being demanded where their servants were, how chance they came not to Church, etc. they answer securely, (and as they think sufficiently) as though it were a thing merely impertinent unto them, that they cannot tell, they do not hinder them from the Church, they may come if they will, they are of age to look to themselves, and are past boys now, and I cannot tell what, etc. But they must consider, besides that which hath been already spoken concerning this matter, that they do too foolishly and grossly imagine to stop (as it were) the mouth of the Lord, with that simple answer in his business, which they will not receive at their servant's hands in their own. For in the six days, when their servants are in their own business, they will not let them come and go at their own pleasure, and content themselves with a bare imagination that they be at their work, but will be sure of it, and therefore set them to it, look upon them in the doing of it, and call them to an account for it, which if it be well done in themselves, because they know otherwise they will be negligent, how must it not then needs be a great unkindness and unthankfulness in them unto God, that upon this day (which is but one among seven) his service should be so slenderly looked unto, that there is no such diligence used towards their servants, that they might perform it? And how must it not needs be a great injury to their servants, (who are naturally and for the most part more negligent and careless in God's service, by reason of their corruption, than they can be in the service of men) to be deprived of that benefit of their governors (which is the chiefest, and for which cause especially they are committed to their government) namely, to be furthered by them in the service of God: but use them more like beasts than men, even that they might be serviceable unto them, & then care not whether they serve God or the devil. We know that servants look to be preferred by their masters (and so there is good reason, when they have served them faithfully) but what kind of reward is this, when having bestowed some earthly benefit upon them, by having no care to make them serve the Lord, and sanctify the Sabbaths, they do in the end not only make them lose the everlasting reward, but preserve them to eternal destruction? Moreover, there are a company of idle Servingmen, Especially in great households, where there are many servants. who in spending their time all the six days having almost nothing therein to do, are seldom looked unto upon the seventh day, but permitted to bestow it as vainly as the other: and as they never almost do any good days work to their masters, so much less do they spend any Sabbath in the Lord's service; but they especially are left to go and come at their will. Others that have any office of great charge and attendance (as the Cooks, Butlers, and such like, in great houses) seldom or never come to the Church, and that but by pieces, either when half is done, or else they are ready to depart before half be ended, & so both hinder the Lord from that service which he should have by them, & themselves from that blessing which they should idherit that way: and both cause the name of God to be ill spoken of, and pull upon themselves & their masters that curse which belongeth to the continual polluting of the Sabbath. And how can they look that that service, and that meat and drink, should do them good, which is thus prepared, and bought (as it were) with the continual danger of the souls of their servants, besides the dishovour of the name of God? When David had inconsiderately desired to drink of the water of Bethleem, three mighty men broke into the host of the Philistines, and drew water, and brought it to him: but he would not drink thereof, but poured it for an offering unto the Lord, and said: Oh Lord, be it 2. Sam. 23. 15. 16. far from me that I should do thus: is not this the blood of the men that went in jeopardy of their lives? How much less than ought men to eat and drink of that for which their servants do venture the lives of their souls? And besides, if we justly find fault with them, who do never or seldom preach to the people committed to their charge, and so cause their souls to starve and die eternally: how can they be blameless, who seldom or never bring their servants to the preaching of the word? And must they not needs be culpable of the same judgement before God, seeing it is all one with the servants, whether they live in the place where the word of God is not preached at all, or if it be, yet they come not unto it? But whereas men are ready to object, that in Objection. a great family, many must needs be absent. We grant it to be true in some part, that is, Answer. at some time, & upon some occasion: but so ordinarily and so continually (as they themselves in their own consciences are privy to, who make this question) we know no necessity that can excuse that. Nay, we are sure that the Lord hath laid no such calling upon any man, that should keep him in a continual breach of the Sabbath, and therefore both master and servant may suspect, that he is in such a calling as is not agreeable to God's word, or that he useth it not aright, when it maketh him, if not wholly, yet for the most part, to neglect the service of God upon the Sabbath day. And we know (where there is great care to serve and please God by prayer,) the Lord will give to them such wisdom, that they shall be able to redeem, if not the whole, yet at least a great part of the day, which otherwise will be misspent: namely, by letting pass many needless things, by preparing so much before as conveniently may be, by rising so much the more early in the morning, and by the interchangeable help of our servants: especially, when they will for these causes be contented with so much the less, though not in quantity, (for the relief of others) yet with less exquisite and curious dressing, which especially taketh up the time: and so we are sure, and they that will try it in the fear of God, and with a care to serve him, and in a love to the souls of their brethren, shall find it to be true by experience, that many might keep holy the Sabbarh, which now do it not at all: others might keep it, more than they do. Which if yet it be thought impossible (because we go not about to practise it) let us but observe that which we shall see done in the house when the servant is very desirous to go to a Fair, and the master is as willing to let him go: you would wonder to see how things shall be dispatched up suddenly, and in good order, they shallbe absent many hours, and yet not greatly miss: if any thing be otherwise then is usual, it is horn with, because it is a day of provision for themselves, and that day is not every day. So then, if the masters were persuaded of the Lords day as they ought to be, even that it is the time of making provision for the soul, and were as careful for the souls of their servants, as they are for their bodies, and did esteem it more for their worship & credit that their servants were religious, then that they were costly & well set out in apparel; they would be better contented to spare them, during the time of that market, where they may buy without money all the graces of God's Spirit, and the riches of the kingdom of heaven: whereby they should not only save their own souls, but be made more fit to do duties to their masters of conscience. Therefore (to end this point) it is the duty of The governors of families should take order that their whole household might come to the Church together. all household governors, to cause the whole family to be in a readiness to attend upon them too and fro the Church, and that it be not left at every man's discretion to come when he will, but that they should go together. And indeed, this hath been the orderly coming of God's people in times passed to the place of his worship, that they have not come scattered and alone, but many together, and by companies; whereof the holy Prophet speaketh; When I remembered Psal. 24. 4. these things, I poured out my very heart, because I had gone with the multitude, and led them into the house of God, with the voice of singing, and praises, as a multitude that keepeth a feast. In which place, the man of God complaining, that he was banished from the holy Assemblies, (saith) that his grief was increased, by remembering his former estate, when he used to go with a great company to the Temple, even as to a feast: whereby he declareth, what was the manner of their going; even as men go to a market, or to a feast, not only with joy, but also by companies; and so many of one house as go, will go together: So they did not only go to the house of God cheerfully, but many of them together, even as to the market and feast of their souls. By which practice of theirs, as the doing of many is condemned; so it appeareth that the men of our time are led by another spirit than they were, and are otherwise persuaded of the worship and place they go unto. For all the people, nay, the several households, come not together, but scattered, and one dropping after another, in a confused manner. First comes the man, than a quarter of an hour after, his wife; and after her, we cannot tell how long, especially the maidservants, who must needs be as long after her, as the manservants are after him. Whereby it cometh to pass, that either half the service of God is done before all be met: or else if the Minister tarry till there be a sufficient congregation, the first comers may be weary, and sometimes cold with tarrying, before the other shallbe warm in their seats. Now, if it be demanded of the masters, why they alone make such haste, and leave all the rest behind them; & they answer truly, because the time is come, wherein usually public prayer beginneth: can they be persuaded that it is time for themselves to come (as it is indeed) and yet no time for the rest to come with them? Hath the master no longer time to tarry, and have his servant's time to tarry so long after him? As though there were one law for him, and another for them: or rather, that the same law of the Sabbath, which moveth him of conscience to do that which he doth, did not as forcibly bind them all as himself: nay, did not bind him to look to them, that they should keep holy the day as well as himself, which if he grant to be true, & yet is not able to bring it to pass, (where the Lord hath given him so great authority for his own sake) partly through the frowardness of his wife, and partly through the obstinacy of the rest in his family: his case is to be pitied, and he is rather to be governed, then to govern: and he might do well to set up one of 1. Cor 6. 4. them in his stead: seeing he doth suffer himself wilfully so to be abused, and is contented to be overruled by them in the chiefest thing. Therefore that he might bring this matter happily to pass, as he must go before them by his own example, and be ready betimes, even first of all, so he must earnestly call upon them for this duty, and exhort them unto it; and the slower that they are, and the more they draw back, the more fotward must he be, and by his practice and words draw them forwards also. For this is that readiness which David observed in the people of his time: I rejoiced when they said unto me, we will go into the house of the Psal. 1221. Lord; or, Let us go to the house of the Loŕd (for they are words of exhorting, and encouraging one another thereunto,) even as the Prophet Esay also foretelleth, that this shall be the zeal of God's people in the time of the Gospel, that they shall go together to serve God, and therefore call upon one another for the same purpose, saying: It shall be in the last days, that the mountain of the house of the Lord shall be prepared Esay. 2. 2. 3. in the top of the mountains, and shall be exalted ' above the hills, and all nations shall flow unto it, and many people shall go and say, Come, and let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of jacob. And truly this want of zeal in us to God's worship, and love to the salvation of our brethren, (bewraying itself in the neglect of this duty of calling one upon another) is the cause of this slowness. For the husband going first out of the doors, saith to the wife, Make haste, and come as soon as you can: she coming at her leisure, gives the same charge to her servants, Dispatch, and tarry not long behind; but here is no saying: Come let us go, Let us go together: and if it be once said, it is not pursued, that it might be performed. In going to market, and to a feast, what earnest calling will there be upon one another: and it would seem strange to behold the household go divided: and it were a thing that would much be marked, and every one that knew us, and whither we were going, it should be the first question they would ask us; How chanceth this, that you come alone? Where is your husband, your wife, or your children? Why come you not together? So no doubt, the dispersed and broken coming of households to the Church, is a thing greatly observed of the Lord God, and of his Angels, which are present at their assemblies: and it is that which grieveth the rest of the Church, and as soon as they see one come in alone, they are ready with grief to ask, Where 1. Cor. 11. 10. are the rest? What meaneth this party to come alone? Therefore let all Governors be persuaded, that it is their bounden duty thus to look to their families, and to be sure that they sanctify the Lords day as well as themselves: and that they not only thus bring them to the public ministry, but also look unto them, that they spend the rest of the day in holy exercises so much as may be, examining them in that which they have heard, and causing them to confer about it themselves; and to appoint some to read the Scripture unto them, and all of them to sing Psalms: and generally, whatsoever they have seen before, that they ought to do themselves, to call upon their servants for the same, and to take such order, that they be sure they do it: and let them be sorry that they have neglected this duty so long heretofore, & thereby have charged so many sins of their household upon themselves: and now at the last in God's holy fear, let them begin to put this in practice, lest they do further provoke the most patient Lord to their endless destruction. And though it be a thing so rare in the world as it is, and men altogether so unacquainted with it, as they be, nay, so loathsome and tedious to flesh & blood, that they are afraid once to begin with it: yet let the bare commandment of God prevail more with us to take it in hand, and to continue in it, than all that can be said or thought against it, should weigh with us, either to keep us from it at the first, or afterwards cause us to give it over. And, that all men might do it, so much the rather, The want of this care in household, is the cause of much wickedness, rebellion, and disorder in their families. let them be assured that the want of this especially, is the cause of so many wicked and rebellious children, untrusty and disobedient servants, nay, unfaithful and unkind wives, every where: even for that their husbands, their fathers, and their masters do not call upon them to serve God, and see them sanctify the Sabbath. It is a common and just complaint in all places, in the mouth of every man, that servants and children will not be ruled; that they cannot tell where to find a good servant, they know not whom to trust, but they see not the greatest cause of it to be in themselves, and so go not about to remedy it. For whiles they labour not to make their children the sons and daughters of God by adoption; and to bring their servants within the household of God, that they might be his servants by grace, and to make their wives the chaste spouses of jesus Christ, and so all of them to serve him: the Lord justly punisheth them, making wives, children, servants, and all disobedient unto them. For how can they do duties unto men, if they have not learned to do duties unto God, and so of conscience for God's sake, to do duties unto men? Nay, must not the Lord needs punish them with disobedience against themselves, that by their own experience they may know how grievous the neglect of his service is unto himself, when he justly measureth out unto them with the same measure, that they have meat unto him before? And whereas men are ready to imagine, and we know it is that which many do object against Objection. this, that to deal so straightly with their household, were the next way to rid themselves of all good servants; and that then they might soon be master and man themselves. They must again, on the contrary understand, Answer. that it is a great wickedness in them, once to think that the Lord should require that of them, which would necessarily drive them to such inconvenience: Nay rather, they must be assuredly persuaded, That godliness hath the promises 1. Tim. 4. 8. of this life, as well as of the life to come: and that if we first seek the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, Mat. 6. 23. in ourselves, and others, all needful things shall be cast unto us. Even as it is said of Abraham; I know that he will command his sons, Gen. 18. 19 and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and judgement, that the Lord may bring upon Abraham, that he hath spoken unto him. So that thus to do, is the very high way, not to keep us. from, but to bring us unto the fruition of all God's promises, if we give credit unto him, who as he only maketh them in the beginning of mere mercy, so must he only accomplish them in the end by his constant verity and truth. We confess indeed, if he be an ill servant, this is the readiest way to be rid of him, whose room is better than his company: for he thinketh himself to be in a prison, nay in hell all the while: but in the end he shall perceive that he is gone from the way of heaven unto hell, if the Lord be not more merciful unto him. And why should we be loath to depart from the service of them that have no care to serve God? or can we look that they should do any faithful service unto us, that are so unfaithful in the service of God? But as concerning the rest, if any be religious, To have such good orders in our houses, is not the next way to drive away our servants from us. this is the best mean to retain and keep them: if they be but indifferent, this may win them: if they be falling away, this may recover them. For what shall we think of all the godly fathers in times past, that when they vowed diligently to look to their households, that they should serve God with them, and did constantly perform it, that then they had no servants at all? Was so great a man as jehoshua without servants, when he promised before so many witnesses, that he and his house should serve the Lord? Was David left alone, and constrained to do all himself, when as being a mighty King, he bound himself unto it by that song which he made for the same purpose, wherein he saith: Mine eyes shall be unto the faithful of the land, that they may dwell with me: he that walketh in a perfect Psal 101. 6. 7 way, he shall serve me: there shall no deceitful person dwell in mine house: he that telleth lies shall not remain in my sight? Had not Abraham a great Gen. 14 24. household, when he was able on a sudden to carry forth with him, of them that were borne and brought up in his house, three hundred and eighteen men in armour, to rescue his brother Lot? Ofwhom notwithstanding it is said, that he would teach his children the way of the Lord: as it appeareth he did indeed, when by his only persuasion at the word of God, all the males were contented to be Chap. 17. 12. circumcised, and to receive that Sacrament, unknown before, and painful, and also ignominious to the flesh, if they had looked only to the outward sign. And must not that worthy Captain of an hundred Italian soldiers, needs have a greater family than many of these that cavil at this doctrine? of whom the spirit of truth reporteth, That he feared God, and all his Act. 10. 2. household. What shall we think of all these men? Shall we ignorantly presume to the further deceiving Objection. of ourselves, and hardening us in this sin, that the times were then better, and good servants then more plentiful? Or must we needs confess, as the truth is indeed, that these men Answer. used more means to make their servants the servants of God, than men do now a days, and that so the blessing of God was greater upon them? And is it not set down in writing for our learning, to show us what is that which we might look for at God's hands, if we would walk in the same way that they did, seeing there is no respect of persons, times, or places with him? Secondly, he must set an order in his house for the service of God; to wit, that morning and evening, before meals, and after meals, prayers and thanks may be offered unto God, and so he acknowledged to be the author, not only of all spiritual graces that belong to a better life, but also of all temporal blessings that belong to this life. For seeing that it is Gods good hand over us, that doth defend us and all our family in the night from outward dangers, and giveth us freedom from fears and terrors, and from Satan's rage, and also giveth us rest & comfortable sleep, for the refreshing of our frail bodies, is it not meet we should beg it at his hand by prayer, before we prepare ourselves to rest, and praise him for it when we rise from it? Again, seeing that every day we are subject to innumerable dangers, which we know not of, and both wisdom and strength to follow good and honest callings, and also the blessing upon our labours to make us prosper by them, are from God alone: should we not begin the day with fear unto God, for his gracious protection, and for his merciful blessing of us? And seeing meats and drinks are sanctified unto us on God's part by the word, and ours 1. Tim. 4. 5. by prayer: doubtless though God hath by his word sanctified them, they are unholy unto us, when we do not for our part sanctify them by faithful prayer and thanksgiving. And this was David's practice, Psal. 55. 1. Evening and morning, and at noon tide, will I pray, and make a noise, and he will hear my voice. If any say, it is sufficient for the governor to charge every one in his family to do it privately by himself: so might the Prince say, it is enough to do as Darius did, to charge every one in all his dominions to worship no God, but daniel's God. Yet godly Princes Dan. 6. 26. thought it their duty to set up the worship ofGod in their dominions, and to take order that God might be worshipped publicly and jointly of all in their land. So did job, for his job. 1. 5 6. household, not only bid his children pray to God by themselues, but he appointed set times of praying together, and sacrificing, and commanded his children to come prepared thereunto. Again, if the master lay the matter upon the consciences of such as be of his family, then if they be negligent, God shall have no honour and worship in that family. But we read of Abraham that wheresoever Gen. 12 7. 8. & 13. 8. & 21. 33. & 22. 9 he became, he built an altar to God, where God should be worshipped jointly in his family. If God should measure out his goodness to thee, as thou measurest honour and glory to him, in what a case wert thou? He doth give a charge to his Angels to keep thee, he commandeth the earth to allow thee meat for thy sustenance; and his Commandment is an effectual word, that maketh them to do the thing that he chargeth them withal. Wilt thou now only bid thy servant or son to serve and honour God, and not see that he do it, and help him in it? Then thou dost not measure out unto God, as thou wouldst have him measure to thee. This duty than belongeth to a Christian head of a family, to worship God with all his family, and to take order that when he shallbe absent upon necessary occasions, it may be done reverently, and only by some one in his family, that by reason of wit and age may be meet for it. The neglect of this duty, letteth into families many grievous enormities, and outward miseries, while God in his justice refuseth to bless such, as by their carelessness in serving of him, do show, that they take not him to be the author of all welfare to soul or body, but think to do well enough without him, or else think to have their turns served without requesting. The third duty, which the chief governor must perform to all in his family, is private instruction, Private instruction. and dealing with them in matters of religion, for the building of them up in true faith, and for the inuring and bringing of them to a conscience towards God, that they may not only know and profess religion, but also feel and show the power of religion in their lives. This duty hath these specials belonging to it: First, a familiar and plain opening unto them the principles of religion, after the manner of a Catechism. This duty the holy Ghost layeth upon parents. Ephes. 6. 1. Train them up in doctrine and holy precepts, drawn out-of the word. The like was commanded to parents in the old law: Let these words which I command thee this Deut. 6. 6. 7. 8. 9 day, be in thine heart, and whet them upon thy children, and speak of them when thou sittest in thy house, when thou walkest in the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up, etc. So that it is not enough to bring thy children to be catechised at the Church, but thou must labour with them at home after a more plain and easier manner of instruction, that so they may the better profit by the public teaching. Look Proverbs 22. 6. Thou even by breeding thy children hast helped them into corruption, and 〈◊〉 damnable estate: how oughtest thou then, by all holy care and pains taken with them, in teaching them the knowledge of God in Christ, to help them out of it, that they may not be firebrands of hell? And for servants, seeing they spend their strength, & weary out their bodies, and bestow their days and years in seeking thy profit and ease: oughtest not thou then to seek the salvation of their souls? Solomon saith, The just man hath regard to his beast: much more shouldest thou have regard to thy servant, who is made according to the image of God with thee, and is redeemed with as dear a price as thou art. And thy care for him should not stretch to his body alone, but especially to his soul; that seeing his calling will not suffer him to use so many, and so often means for the good of it as were requisite, he might herein be helped by thee. The second special is, an acquainting them with the Scriptures, by reading them daily in Reading the Scripture. thy house in their hearing, and directing them to mark, and make use of those things which are plain and easy, according to their capacity. So Timothy was trained up by his parents in the Scriptures, so that he knew them from a 2. Tim. 3. 15. child: that is, was made acquainted with them by reading them, and being instructed in them according to his capacity. This shall make them the fitter to hear and profit by the public ministry: whereas the neglect of this duty, makes them unable to hear and understand the Preacher when he citeth examples, or quoteth texts out of sundry places of Scripture. The help that their family might reap by it should make them careful in this reading of the Scripture. The third is, a diligent care and regard that they profit by the public ministry of the word and Sacraments, every one according to their capacity. And this duty requireth, that they should not only look that they do diligently frequent the preaching of the word, and carefully come to the Sacraments in due time, but also that they show them how, and put them in mind of preparing themselves to the word and Sacraments, as job did his sons. They must prepare them to hear the word, by willing them to consider God's ordinance, his promise, and their own necessity, etc. by commanding them to lay aside all such cares, thoughts, and affections, as might hinder them from a diligent hearing. To the Sacraments they must prepare them, by willing them to consider of God's institution, the ministry of his Sacraments, his mercy in jesus Christ, their faith, their repentance, and their wants: that so seeking assurance of grace, of reconciliation, and comfort, they may come preparedly to the Lords table. Again to further their profit, they must diligently examine them, what they have learned, what use they can make of such doctrine; & also help and direct them wherein they fail. Thus did our Saviour Christ his Disciples. Besides, they must call upon them, for the practice of Mat. 16. 15. 16. 17. that which they learn out of the word, that the word grow not to a common matter, of no further use but to talk of upon the Sabbath day. The fourth special duty that belongeth to instruction, is the use of God's works, either past, or present: as of examples of his mercy and goodness, to be encouraged by them to trust in him: by works of his justice, to be moved to fear him, and so to sow the seed of conscience and religion in them. Thus did Abraham Gen. 18. 19 which care of his moved the Lord to reveal to him his purpose of destroying the Sodomites. The duties which they are to require of them concerning godliness, be to use the public ministry carefully: to be diligent and reverend in the private worship of God; to submit themselves to private instruction of all sorts, and to make their use of it, to the building up of themselves in faith. And 〈◊〉, to practise all holy and Christian duties, which being comprised briefly in the Commandments, are more largely laid open by the public ministry of the word, and by private Catechising. But after what manner must they require these duties? We answer, not only by telling of them what they must do, and calling upon them for the doing of it, and by gentle admonition when they be backward: but also by correcting them, if they shall be negligent and contemptuous in the practice thereof. This correcting is, either by Rebuking, or Chastising them, according to the quality of the fault, & the condition of the party that is so to be dealt with. A rebuke, is a pronouncing of some misbehaviour, Levit. 19 17. 2. Tim. 4. 2. or known wickedness of any, with condemning of the same (by the word of God) whereby they may have shame, that others might fear. Correction is a sharp thing, and therefore Prou. 27. 5. & 29. 19 not easily borne of our nature, which is full of self-love: and through the corruption of nature, it is turned into an occasion of great frowardness, sturdiness, and naughtiness, where it is not wisely dealt in. Now the better to minister correction, with more hope of doing good by it, we must consider First, the end of correcting. Secondly, the matters for which correction must be given. Thirdly, the manner of correcting. 1. The end in correcting must not be to wreck and revenge thine anger, or malice, or to revenge thyself for any injury done, nor yet alonely, the preventing of the like hurt by the like fault afterward: but in zeal of God's glory, who is dishonoured by the lewdness of the offender, and in love to the party; thou must seek by wise correction to reclaim him from such evil as bringeth danger to him, & to make him more careful of his duty afterwards. Herein they fail, who in correcting have no respect but to their own commodity. 2. For the matters that deserve correction, this is a rule, that there must be no rebuking, much less chastising, but where there is a fault. For where any is unjustly corrected, besides the injury, it hurteth him, by hardening him against just correction. For he will think that it is the rash hastiness of his governor that putteth him to smart, and not his own desert. By fault I mean, not only the committing of that which was forbidden, but also the omitting of that good which was commanded. But every such fault is not to be censured with correction: sometime ignorance, mistaking, oversight, and a desire to please in one thing, maketh inferiors to offend in others. Except there be contempt, or willing negligence, or reckless oversight, a gentle admonition may serve. And indeed, superiors must take heed of coming to the greatest remedies of correction too soon: for so they may soon mar the party by over-sharpe dealing, which by a wise proceeding by degrees might have been gained. Furthermore, Governors must know yet more expressly, for what to correct. Some never correct but for their own matters, never regarding the faults committed against God. But the godly governor, that aimeth at God's glory, and seeketh the Lord, and not himself, is most grieved for those disorders in his family, that tend to God's dishonour, and such he correcteth most carefully. And as for the defaults of his family that are against himself, he looketh more to God's dishonour by them, then to his own hurt or loss, & in zeal of God is drawn to correct, and not of self-love. He therefore counteth these things worthy of correction; if any delight in the ignorance of God, or be careless to approve himself, as one that wholly dependeth on him, loveth him, feareth him, reverenceth him, laboureth to approve all his ways before him: if any be given to idolatry and superstition, & careth not in every part of the worship of God, to follow his revealed will, or if in the parts commanded, he appear negligent & cold, or put them to any other use than is commanded, or be given to images or superstitious monuments, customs, occasions, or such like; if any dishonour the name of God, either in the unreverent using, or abusing, or 〈◊〉, and not using it with that preparation before, feeling at the present time, and fruit after, which is prescribed, his titles, word, Sacraments, or works: if any profane his Sabbath by vain pastimes, and gaming, as cards, dice, dancing, etc. going to plays, or give not himself to the exercises appointed for that day out of the Word: if any neglect special duties towards their equals, superiors, or inferiors, in years, gifts, authority, as Magistrates, Ministers, Masters, parents, servants, children, or people: if any declare not a conscience to fly evil, anger, malice, contention, quarrelling, fight, or any hurting of the person of man, either in soul or 〈◊〉 being careful to succour the same, according to his calling; if any be found unchaste in body, words, countenance or gesture, untemperate in diet, in apparel, dissolute, not caring to maintain the contrary holiness in himself and others: if any be not careful to preserve the goods of another man, or shall by falsehood, flattery, and oppression diminish the same; if he be negligent in increasing of his own, by honest and lawful means, or misspend them in cards, dice, gaming, &c: if any care not to maintain the good names of others, but be given to unnecescary blazing of other men's 〈◊〉, by lying, slandering, 〈◊〉, taunting: if any show himself care less to 〈◊〉 the motions and enticements, unto sin, and the lust of the same: and he will use the means following to redress them. The manner of correcting must like wise be looked unto: for to fail in that, maketh correction hurtful oftentimes, but always 〈◊〉. For this point then, we must know, that correction must be Ministered in Wisdom, and Patience. Wisdom is that by which we observe comeliness Ephes. 5. 14. 10. 17. in every action; that is to say, by which we observe what we do, how, in what place, at what time, before whom: that all things may be done in a convenient place, time, and manner. Wisdom will 1. Find out the right party that committed the fault, that he that is innocent be not unjustly burdened. 2. Consider of what sort and nature the fault is. 3. Weigh circumstances of ages, discretion, & occasions that moved the party, and whether it be customary, or a slip by oversight. 4. Look to the mind of the doer, whether negligence, frowardness, or simplicity, & want of wisdom brought him to it. And according to these things, wisdom will teach a man to measure out correction, or to be sparing in it. Besides, wisdom will not correct before the fault be evident, or before she be able to wind the offender out of all shifting holes. For when the offender is not throughly convinced, he shifteth off the shame of the fault and of the correction, which is a part of the purgation to cure his disease: and besides he will be bold to open his mouth against his ruler, and seek to bring him into hatred or contempt with the rest of the inferiors, for correcting unjustly. Wisdom therefore will wink at a fault a while, and make as though she saw it not, that she may have a fitter opportunity to correct: yea, towards some of a good nature, wisdom will show that she seeth a fault, but yet for love of the party, and desire to have him amend of his own accord, she will pass over the evil. Moreover, wisdom will never reproach the offender, by reviling or taunting him with the fault, but minister correction in love, and desire to have his sore cured, and his credit salved. For the casting of faults in their teeth, and disgracing them, especially before others, (which is common in the world,) maketh them lay off shame of offending, by little and little: whereas if they saw thee careful of their credit, they would have much more regard to it themselves. Lastly, wisdom will avoid partiality, and deal with all in the same case, after the same manner. Patience is also needful, that through anger Patience and steadfastness in suffering the offence that comes to us by any work, so that they cannot discourage us. Phil. 4. 5. or hastiness, a man do not fight nor chide before he hath made the fault manifest to the offender: that if it may be, his conscience may be touched for it. Again, by patience one must hear what the offender can say in his defence, and not disdain to hear him modestly alleging for himself: and when his defence is made, by equity to allow, or disallow the same. So did job, job. 31. 13. And Balaam had no reason to disdain the defence of his beast. Num. 20. 30. etc. This patience will also keep a man from bitterness, which might sooner make the party angry, then draw him to amendment; which thing the Apostle would have avoided in superiors, Col. 3. 21. Ephes. 6. 4. 9 towards those that be under them. For want of this, many are but a word and a blow: many first correct, and then tell the fault; many lay on load, or rail, and revile, brawl, and scold without measure. Lastly, this patience will keep thee from immoderate anger, a thing dangerous in a corrector. For he that cometh to reform with too much anger, shall hardly keep a measure in rebuking, or chastising. Now for the several kinds of correction, the first is rebuking, which is a sharp reproof for a fault committed, measured according to the nature of the fault. Example whereof we have in jacob, Gen. 30. 2. joh. 2. 10. Our Saviour Christ, to Peter Mat. 16. 23. and to james and john, Luk. 9 55. So Eli, 1. Sam. 2. 23. etc. rebuked his sons, but not according to the quality of their fault, which turned to his, and their ruin. This reproof may have some threatening of chastisement joined with it, if need be; to the end to make it sink the deeper. Prou. 19 19 Be thou very angry when thou pardonest a fault; saying, that thou for sparing him now, wilt punish him the soarer, if he transgress again. But threatenings must not be vain words without effect, but always if amendment follow not, thou must perform what was threatened, lest thou become light and vain in the offender's eyes. Chastisement is, when with a sharp rebuke punishment is also laid upon the offender, according to discretion. If any man think fight unmeet for Christians, or be loath to foil their hands, lest they should get themselves an ill name; let them know, that God's ordinance is not a matter of an ill report, but only among fools, that know not what is good and meet. Now, that houshold-chastisement is agreeable to Gods will, is evident out of the Proverbs, where the wisdom of God doth very often commend it to us, as Chap. 13. 24. He that spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him, chasteneth him betimes. Where he requireth, that it be not deferred till it be too late, that is, till the offender be hardened in ill: but given in time, before he be past recovery. Secondly, he saith, that it is a fruit of true and pure love, to correct in due time: and very love in parents, and care of their children, must draw them to it. Thirdly, he saith, that such parents know not what true love of children meaneth, but embrace fondness, and foolish pity in stead of it, who do spare to correct, when correction is deserved. Fourthly, that this fondness and foolish affection is indeed hatred and not love. The reason why it is to be counted hatred, is set down, Prou. 19 18. Chastise thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare him, to his destruction. Where he plainly saith, that fond pitying and sparing of children, is to work the destruction of them. And is it not a token of great hatred, to be a means of another's destruction? Elsewhere he showeth the necessity of correction, and the good which it doth: Prou. 22. 25. Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall remove it far from him. As if he should say, much folly and 〈◊〉 is couched in a child's heart, which if it be not purged, will burst forth into foul enormities, and therefore a purgation is but needful; and what may that be, but the rod of correction? The same is commanded, Prou. 29. 17. Correct thy son: where also he showeth what benefit cometh thereby to the parents: He shall give thee rest, yea he will give pleasures to thy soul: that is, thou shalt be free from sorrow, heaviness, and many troubles, which many parents have with ungracious children: and on the other side, thou shalt have much comfort and delight by him. Great benefit also cometh thereby to the children, as he showeth in the 15. verse, The rod and correction give wisdom, and Chap. 23. 13. 14. Whereas the neglect of it bringeth hurt to the child, and to the parents, as followeth: A child set at liberty maketh his mother ashamed. And for servants, the Wiseman doth closely show, how they must be dealt withal, where he saith, Prou. 29. 21. He which bringeth up his servant delicately from his youth, at length will be deprived of his children. And a little before, verse 19 he saith, A servant will not be chastised with words: though he understand, yet he will not answer or regard. These Scriptures show, that God hath put the rod of correction in the hands of the Governors of the family, by punishment to save them from destruction; which if the bridle were let loose unto them, they would run unto. Where men and women are content to go contrary to their own nature, and to undergo ill reports to obey the ordinance of God, there God will give a blessing, that is, a well ordered family, wherein all shall be of good hope. The wife's duty, touching Christian holiness. These be the duties that the chief of the family oweth to them of his family within doors, as touching godliness. The wife also, which is a fellow-helper, hath some things To be a fellow helper is to yield help to her husband, especially at home, in all the matters of the family. belonging to her to further godliness in her family: As for example, in herself to give example to her household of all ready submission to all good and Christian orders, to order her household affairs so carefully that no exercise of religion be hindered, or put out of place, at 1. Tim. 5. 14. Tit. 2. 3. such time as they should be done in her husband's absence: to see good orders observed as he hath appointed: to watch over the manners and behaviour of such as be in her house, and to help her husband in spying out evils that are breeding, that by his wisdom they may be prevented or cured. Solomon saith of the virtuous woman, that she overseeth the ways of her Prou. 31. 27. Verse. 26. household. And a little before, she openeth her mouth with wisdom, and the law of grace is in her tongue. And Saint Paul requireth, that wives, specially the elder, be teachers of good things, and that they instruct the younger. They may also do much good in framing the tender years of their children unto good, while they be under their hands. For even as a child cockered and made a wanton by the mother, will be more untractable, when the father will seek to bend him to good: so on the other side, a child wisely trained up by the mother in the young years, will be the easilier brought to goodness by the father's godly care. We read, that Timothy was made acquainted with the Scripture from a little child, by means of his godly mother, and grandmother; a good pattern for Christians. And mark the proof, God recompensed their godly care exceedingly: for Timothy proved a rare young man, of excellent graces, to the great joy and comfort of his parents. Mother's may also pour good liquor into their children's tender vessels, the savour whereof shall stick in them a long while after: I mean, they may sow in their minds the seed of religion and godliness. These and such like duties, if the wife perform constantly, she shall bring no small help to her husband, for the godly and religious ordering of his house. And thus much of that part of Household government, which concerneth godliness. Now we come to the other part, which pertains The 2, thing whereat household government aimeth. to the things of this life: wherein is to be considered, what is the duty of the husband and of the wife: namely to Take order for Provision, and Health. They must take order for provision for necessaries, to the maintenance of themselves and Many are careful to 〈◊〉, but very careless to 〈◊〉 well. all their charge. These necessaries are food and raiment. Also care must be had of the health of such as be in their families, both to preserve it by rest, and recreation if need be, and to restore it if it be hindered, by good looking to such as are fallen into sickness. That the governors of the family must make honest provision for themselves, and their charge, and not live upon the Church-almes, 〈◊〉. or by begging, purloining, borrowing, or cousining. It is most evident by that saying of Saint Paul to Timothy: He that provideth not 1. Tim. 5. 8. for his own, and especially for them of his house, hath denied the Faith, and is worse than an infidel. And Solomon saith, The just man regardeth the life Prou. 12. 10. of his beast: much more of his servants and children. And as the Spirit of God chargeth us with this duty; so he setteth us about such things whereby this may be compassed, and forewarneth us of those things whereby it might be hindered. The things that he teacheth us for the making of this provision, are first; That every one What things be needful for the making of provision. should have some honest and good calling, and should walk diligently in it: that it may bring in honest gain, whereby necessaries for the family may be prepared. That every man must apply himself to some A calling. Gen. 3. 10. Calling is our appointed charge and manner of life, in some honest work, wherein we are daily to labour, as we may best profit therein. study and calling, is so known, that it needeth no proof; In the sweat of thy brows thou shalt eat thy bread, etc. Which condemneth all such as live of the labours of other men, and themselves take no pains or travail, do no good in the world, benefit not humane society any way, but devour the good creatures of the earth, which indeed belong to them that take all the pains. In this rank do a number of Gentiles in the world march, devising gay toys, which might well be spared; who are but unprofitable burdens of the earth, that fill up number like cyphers, who glory in their shame, that is, in their ease, pleasures, and bravery, whereof (if they knew whereto a man was Ephes. 4. 1. 〈◊〉. Thess. 2. 12. borne) they would be ashamed. These be they for whose maintenance in their jollity, a number are fain to toil very hardly, fare meanly, and spend their strength to the very skin and bones, and yet can get but a slender recompense, through their unmerciful exactions. But enough of them: to return. The good governor of a house must be none of these: but he must have a calling that is good, honest, and lawful; not only gainful to himself, but also holy and profitable to the society of mankind: For thus much doth Saint Paul comprehend within the compass of his words, Ephes. 4. 28. But let him labour the thing that is good. It is not enough to have a calling, though it be never so good, but it must be followed: so as it may bring in maintenance for thee and thine, such as is meet for thy estate. But how must it be followed? First, with diligence: 2. The manner of following a calling. for as Solomon saith, Prou. 8. 9 He that carrieth himself slothfully, or loosely in his business, is the brother of a great waster: that is, he is another waster: and doth as much as an unthrist, or spend-good. To diligence belongeth the blessing. Prou. 10. 4. The hand of the diligent maketh rich: and Chap. Prou. 13. 4. Diligence, is that by which we execitte 〈◊〉 well as we can the labour of our calling. 12. 11. He that tilleth his land shall be satisfied with meat. Yea, and a large blessing: The soul of the diligent shall be fatted: that is; he shall have abundantly. And lest that any should say, that in some callings a man may well thrive, but not 2. Thess. 3. 10. Rom. 12. 11. in mine: it is said, Prou. 14. 23. In all labour, that is, diligent following thy calling. Moreover, this diligence will bring a man to renown. Prou. 22. 29. Thou seest that a diligent man in his business standeth before Kings, etc. The better to kindle thy affection unto this Of the enemies to diligence. diligence in following thy calling, consider what is said of the Spirit of God, of those evils that are enemies unto it. Many a man is idle and slothful, because labour and toil is irksome and painful to him, Sloth. Slothfulness is a weariness or tediousness in any godly, spiritual, or evil exercises which one ought for God's sake to do, for the benefit of the Commonwealth: or for the sustentation of himself and his family. as Prou. 20. 4. The slothful will not plough, because of Winter: but what is his reward? It followeth, Therefore shall he beg in Summer, and have nothing. Povertie is the fruit of slothfulness. Prou: 18. 4. A slothful hand maketh poor. And lest any man should think that he could keep away poverty, at least a great while: it is said in Prou. 23. 24. that it cometh violently, and with great power, and swiftly upon such a man, and he shall not withstand it: Thy poverty cometh as a light traveller, and thy necessity as an armed man. In the same place also, the means whereby it cometh is expressed: verse 30. He through folly neglecteth his ground, and left it unfenced, and untilled, and so it yielded him no increase. Which being there spoken of husbandry, may be drawn to a general, that to let such things lie idle and unused, which should bring in commodity, is the highway to poverty The slothful, is further described to be a great wisher and woulder, but no good householder: Sloth, gluttony, and prodigality, are the true paths that conduct and lead men to poverty. Proverbs 13. 4. The Sluggard lusteth, but his soul hath nought. And again: All the day long he wisheth, but his desire is not accomplished: which wasteth him with sorrow. Besides, he persuadeth himself that he hath some sufficient stay or let, to withhold him from diligent labour, and so dare not go forward, as the wiseman saith, Prou. 15. 10. The way of the slothful is Prou. 26 13. 14. 15. 16. a hedge of thorns. And in another place he saith; Prou. 26. 13. A Lion is in the way: but in truth it is ease and laziness that letteth him. As the door turneth upon the hinges, so doth the slothful in his bed. And to show that such a man is in a downhill to beggary: Solomon saith, that he thinketh himself very wise in his doing: The Prou. 26. 14. Sluggard is wiser in his own conceit, than seven men that can render a reason. What hope is there of saving of him that the beggar catch him not, who Prou. 26. 16. pleaseth himself in his sloth, which doth summon him to beggary? That also is not to be omitted, that such a sluggard, who suffereth his own ground to be over grown with thorns and nettles, stones or thistles, serveth in the world for an example, to make other men wary. Under this, is that same luskishness which maketh men love their ease and sleep, which bringeth forth the same fruit that sloth doth. The sleeper shall be clothed with rags. Prou. 13. 21. and therefore, the wiseman laboureth to draw men from it. Prou. 20. 13. Love not sleep, lest 〈◊〉 come to poverty; open thine eyes, and thou shalt be satisfied with bread. Another enemy to diligence, is, following 2. Idle company keeping. of vain and idle company. For though a man be eager minded towards his business, yet by vain and idle company, he shall be drawn away to other delights, and lose his good hours, and let go the occasion of doing some things in the fit season. Therefore Solomon saith, Prou. 11. 12. The man that followeth the idle, is destitute of understanding. And again, that he shall come to no better pass, than the idle man. Pro. 28. 19 He that followeth the idle, shall be filled with poverty. This harm getteth he by haunting vain company, None can walk in simplicity before God, that delighteth in the company of the ungodly. and lewd persons. For as sweet waters are corrupted and spoiled, when they run into waters which are salt, bitter, or unwholesome, and so lose the virtue thereof: even so, he that joineth himself in friendship, and doth couple himself in familiarity with wicked and ungodly men, becometh wicked and ungodly himself, and is stained and blemished with their vices, although heretofore he had been inclined to virtue and godliness. For a little leaven (saith the Apostle) doth leaven the whole lump. 1. Cor. 5. 6. Pastime also carrieth many from their callings, 3. Pastime. Lewd pastime causeth naked purses. and likewise from thrift: Pro. 21. 17. He that loveth pastime, shall be a poor man. Which being a punishment threatened of God against that evil; though a man would be wary of losing much at play, yet the Lord might some other way Thrift consisteth not in gold, but grace. bring him to poverty, and so punish him for his corrupt delight in that thing which the Scripture hath so branded. Lastly, unto true diligence, Solomon opposeth and setteth talking & great reckoning of what 4. Great reckoning. they will do, Prou. 14. 23. In all labour there is abundance, but the talk of the lips bringeth only want. For commonly, such as make great account of their doings, when it cometh to doing, can find no fit time to begin. Now to finish this point of diligence to be used in our calling, mark the good husbandry which the Spirit of God teacheth, Prou. 27. 23. Be diligent to know the state of thy flock, and take heed to thy herds, for riches remain not always. Where he willeth men not to trust all to servants, for the care of their cattle & other commodities, but to look diligently to them themselves. The reason is, for that their riches be not so glued to them, but that if they be not carefully looked unto, they will take their leave and be gone. And so we see it often comes to pass, that they which do their business by others, have others to thrive for them. But here peradventure, some husbands and wives will say: Ye speak much of good husbandry and good huswiferie, but how would you have them to be good husbands and good huswives, that have not where with to be good husbands or good huswives on? Whereunto we answer, that good husbandry and good huswiferie, consisteth not so much in having much or little, as in the wise, careful, discreet, & good forecasting of that which God in mercy hath enabled and enriched them with, to see every thing well ordered, and employed to a good end and use. For we see by experience, that some husbands and wives, can so husbandly and huswifely dispose of things, that they will make a fairer show of a little, and cause it to stretch further, than many can of much. Yea, some can do as much with twenty nobles, as some other can with twenty or thirty pounds. As a calling must be followed with diligence, so also there is wisdom, skill, and discretion to be used in it. For as in lifting of a great weight, a mighty strong man wanting cunning, cannot move that, though he strain & busy himself much, which a weak man will do with a sleight. So dealing in any calling, some man shall toil exceedingly much, and yet for want of wit and discretion, not do half the good that another shall with more ease, Prou. 13. 23. He that hath a trade, let him learn to be cunning in it, and able to go through with it: prover. 16. 20. And to the end he may walk on surer ground, let him not disdain to ask advice and counsel. For the praise of contriving matters well by his own wit, is not so great, as is the loss and ignominy (when for want of counsel) a man entereth a wrong course. Besides, Solomon doth commend this wisdom unto us often, to take heed of hastiness, headiness, and self-will; and to beware of overweening in our own reach: Proverbs, 15. 22. Without counsel, thoughts, that is, intents and purposes, come to nought: but in the multitude of counsel there is steadfastness. And 22. 18. Establish thy thoughts by counsel, and by counsel make war. Whereas on the other side, Hast bringeth waste. Whosoever is hasty, that is, rashly goeth about his business without counsel, cometh surely to poverty. Prou. 21. 5. That is notable, Proverb. 29. 20. Seest thou a man hasty in his matters, there is more hope of a fool then of him. The same is said of the conceited man, Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? there is more hope of a fool then of him. Prou 26. 12. When the Spirit of God doth so carefully commend this thing to us, we must needs thereby see, that it is a matter óf great necessity, and of excellent use. For, as the proverb is, Two eyes see more than one. And many times, men see more clearly in other men's matters then in their own. In this case also, it is good to look to the examples of others, and our own experience in such like cases; for much light cometh into a wise man's mind by this window. And to the end that thou mayst make thy use of experience and examples, when occasion shall serve, it is good to mark things which shall fall out, to observe the beginnings, proceedings, and events of matters, and to keep them in mind to stand thee in stead. For he that never marketh any thing, it is all one as if he had never seen or heard any thing: and such a one must always be running for counsel in every light matter, or else may take a wrong course, except he can stumble on the right way by good hap. This observation, and pondering of events, with the causes that went before, is the ripener of wit. But idle-mindednesse, and careless letting pass of matters, maketh an emptiness in the head, of such good things as make one man excel another. Thirdly, in following thy calling, let not justice justice is a virtue, that yieldeth to every man his own. & upright dealing be forgotten, but order thy dealing by them. If there were no other, yet this reason should weigh with thee, that so thou mightest look to reap good dealing at other men's hands, as it is said, Prou. 21. 21. He that followeth after righteousness and mercy, shall find life, righteousness and glory. Whereas such as measure out hard measure to others, have the like measured to them again, according to the saying of our Saviour Christ. Besides, the riches gotten by ill means, have a heavy destiny uttered against them: The gathering of riches by a deceitful tongue is vanity, tossed too and fro, of them that seek death. Prou. 21. 6. * As justice and equal dealing towards all men must be looked unto, so God will have us not to mercifulness a compassion and 〈◊〉 of an other man's 〈◊〉, with best 〈◊〉 (so far as may be) to comfort, 〈◊〉 and succour them. omit mercifulness and friendly dealing to the poor. Be not then so tied to thy business, that thou canst never look out to the necessities of others, nor spare time to serve their occasions. Among many ways of helping the poor, which are commanded, this is one, to go or ride for them, to save them from wrong, or to further them in their right; to be their mouth to plead for them, when by fear and simplicity they cannot plead for themselves. And toward them especially a sparing hand is forbidden, & that with a sore item, Prou. 21. 13. He that stoppeth his ear at the crying of the poor, he shall also cry, and not be heard. And to show liberality, (especially to the Saints and faithful,) there is Psal. 16 3. Gal. 6. 10. Heb. 6 10 & 13. 16. 〈◊〉 3. 16. Prou. 22. 9 persuasion with a sweet promise. Prou. 15. 17. He that hath mercy upon the poor, dareth unto the Lord, and the Lord will recompense him that which he hath given. If any fear, that if he tie himself so short, as never to pass the bounds of equity, & besides, open his hand so wide to the poor, he shall never live and thrive of his calling: let him remember what is written, Proverb. 16. 3. Commit thy works to the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be directed. And let that promise encourage him to follow the Lord whithersoever he calleth, notwithstanding any fear or misdoubt. Besides, let him have that in mind, which is in Prou. 28. 22. against covetousness, and posting to be rich: A man with a wicked eye hasteth to be rich, and knoweth not that poverty shall come unto him. And again, in the 20. verse, He that maketh haste to be rich, shall not be innocent. Whereto agreeth that of Saint Paul. 1. Tim. 6. 9 10. He that will be rich falleth into tentation and snares, etc. And the vanitte of riches ill gotten, or ill kept, is declared, Prou. 13. 1. and 20. 23. Hereunto men must join contentation, with Contentation is a virtue, whereby a man is well pleased with that estate wherein he is placed. that allowance which God as a wise Father (that knoweth what is best) maketh unto them. For a restless and uncontented mind, breedeth hast-making to riches, drieth up the rivers of liberality, and setteth the conscience upon the rack; and stretcheth it beyond the bounds of equity 1. Tim. 6. 6. Phil. 4. 11. 12. Mat. 6. 31. Heb. 13. 5. Esa. 33. 1. Pro. 22. 12. 13 Eccles. 5. 7. & 4. 1. and just dealing, when hope of gain is offered. Wherefore Solomon, (to prevent those evils in men, and to make them to like of their present estate, telleth them, that better is a little with righteousness, then great revenues without equity; And the like is in Psal. 37. 16. There is a double reason for this: First, because store gotten with wrong, breedeth a sore trouble, sometime of mind and conscience, and sometimes outward; whiles the right owner of the goods suffereth thee not to go so quietly away with them: or God stirreth thee up an enemy mightier than thyself, that shall pull from thee, as thou didst from another. The second is, because such have the hatred of many, for that which they purloin or get by wrong and oppression: which a good man would not have for so small commodity. Hitherto we have showed what thou must stick unto in following thy calling. Now concerning other things not unworthy to be mentioned, as of him that would provide for his family well. Though we would not have a man feign himself poor, and a niggard, when he hath abundance, as a number do, by whining and complaining without cause, who are neither good to the Commonwealth, nor kind to themselves: yet it is not wisdom to carry an higher port and countenance in the world than a man's ability will warrant. Such shall be To spare, that thou mayest have to spend in honesty & necessity for God's sake, is well done. A thing is sooner spared than gotten. envied: so long as they do bear it out by the hard-edge, they shall be laid at for charges; and if through necessity in the end they be fain to yield, they shall be scorned of their enviers, and little pitied of all others. Wherefore it is wisdom rather to bear a low sail, and to keep within compass, and rather to come short of that thou mightest do, remembering that which is, Prou. 12. 9 He that is despised, and is his own man, is better than he that boasteth himself, and lacketh bread. Again, as they which love to pearke aloft, and desire to be carried with a full sail by the wind a Ambition is an unlawful or wicked desire of glory, namely, when a man seeketh to be above all other in honour, and seeketh to effect the same by unnecessary and unjust actions, besides his vocation: trusting to his own wisdom and strength. of Ambition, and b Vainglory is a certain disordinate desire to be well thought of, well spoken of, praised, and glorified of men. Vainglory, rather than to have sea-room, do oftentimes rush upon the rocks of want, and there stick till they sink: so they, which in fear of such rocks choose to ride with half or quarter sail, where they have not room at will, are more safe from danger, and may more conveniently provide against a tempest. Yea, they may so fail, that when God shall remove them hence, they shall not be constrained to leave their children to the wide world, which thing nature bindeth a man to have a care of. Another rule may be drawn out of that which is Prou. 10. 5. A wise son gathereth in summer: but he that sleepeth in harvest is the son of confusion. Where he teacheth, that when a man spieth an opportunity of honest gain and commodity, he is to follow that while the time serveth: but he that for a small matter, letteth slip occasions, and reckoneth of this time and that time, this day and that day, thinking then to have more fit opportunity, that will bring all to nothing. A good neighbour (saith one) is a good thing. Agreeable to this, Solomon saith, Prou. 1. 17. A friend loveth at all times. And 18. 24. A friend is nearer than a brother. As if he should say, there is many a friend that is more kind than a brother, & more ready to do pleasure than he that is more bound by nature and duty. He saith also, Prou. 27. 7. As ointment and perfume rejoice the heart, so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel. That is also notable, which is, vers. 17. Iron sharpeneth iron, so doth a man the face of his friend: to wit, because mutual communication of friends one with another, quickeneth the spirit, and cheereth the heart. All these places contain motives, to give heed to this exhortation, verse 19 Thine own friend, and thy father's friend, for sake not, neither enter into they brother's house in the day of thy calamity: for better is a neighbour that is near, than a brother that is far off. In the end of the eighteenth Chapter, verse 24. he showeth how a man shall preserve this treasure which is so good: A man that hath friends, must show himself friendly. Hereto agreeth that of the heathen: He that would have a good neighbour, must be a good neighbour. In the 24. verse 27, he seemeth to give a rule for the right order of managing a man's household affairs; saying: Prepare thy work without, and make ready thy things in the field, and afterward thou mayest build thine house. As though he should say, first look after things that are needful and necessary for house-keeping, as that thou mayest have provision &c: and then, when that is provided for, thou mayest fall a trimming up of thy house. But many fools begin first to deck their houses, before they lay for necessaries, and are fain afterwards to sell their ornaments with loss, to provide more necessary matters. It is a good point of wisdom, to bear the want of that longest, which may best be spared. The last rule is, that a good governor of a Sparing is good getting, & the greatest rent that one can have. family, for the better maintenance of his family, must be frugal, or (to speak english) a good husband, that is, spating and saving, and that he so order and moderate himself, that if his goods and revenues be not sufficient for him and his charge, he make himself sufficient for his goods, and dispose of himself according to the old proverb: To cut his coat according to his cloth, and to eat within nis own tether. Yet we would not have him pinching, or niggardly, and so dried up for liberality, that nothing should be wrong from him for good uses. That is too far on the left hand, as prodigality is on the right. But where there is no just cause to spend or lay out, and it might be as well spared, there we would have him save. For his riches be the Lords goods, which God hath made him a steward of. When the Lord therefore willeth him to open his hand, there let him not be strait handed, but where nothing but unruly lusts and pomp, or vain glory, bid him draw, there is he to hold fast: for he is an ill steward that will lay out his master's goods where there is no need, or where less would serve. There be many, who of a greedy and covetous mind, will easily embrace this precept of sparing: but as they do it with a wrong purpose so they fail in the matters wherein they should save and be sparing. Many misers pinch their servants in their meat and drink, allowing them not enough, or not good enough, and this they take for frugality and thrift: whereas to prank, and prick up themselves in bravery, and that sometimes above their calling, they are very lavish. This is no more to be counted frugality, or good husbandry, then to roba poor man to give to the rich, is true liberality. When therefore thou thinkest of sparing, let not the greedy desire of gathering draw thee to it, but conscience of well using that which God hath lent thee. And this mind will draw thee to spare and save only there, where it may be well done, and not there where in conscience thou oughtest to spend. Now the better to further out selves in this honest thriftiness, or frugality, which is called of one, a great revenue: the occasions of needless expenses must be avoided. Love not mirth and pastime, for they have oft occasion of expenses. Again, they cause loss of time, and neglect of business at home, yea, and often men do buy their pleasure with loss in their goods, while reckless masters have either thievish or careless servants. Therefore Solomon telleth such their fortune, Prou. 21. 17. He that loveth mirth or pastime, will be a poor man. Secondly, a sweet tooth, and a fair mouth, that is daintiness, or choiceness in diet, is an enemy to frugality: a needless charge, to delight in the taste for a moment, whereas wholesome meat and drink, would be more ease for the purse, and more healthful for the body. He that loveth wine and oil, that is, sweet delicates for his senses, will not be rich, Pro. 21. 17. In this rank doth march gluttonte: I mean Gluttony is a vice, when any doth 〈◊〉 & fill his body. cramming and pampering of the body, and also drunkenness. These dull the mind and wit, darken reason, and make a man become sottish. Besides, they stuff the body with gross humours, which breed diseases, & diseases bring other charges of physic, or at least, loss of time, and neglect of business, which do cost a man as much as his diet wherein he was excessive: so that these evils have double expenses. To be brief in this point, God having set Drunkenness is a vice, when any dot gull in overmuch drink. the destiny of the drunkard and the glutton, namely, that many evils, and namely poverty, shall betide them, prover. 23. 21. 29. 30. 31. by some way or other he will effect his judgement: for no one piece of his word shall fall to the ground. A great backfriend to thrift is good fellowship, and company keeping: for it hath loss of time, and draweth thee away from thy calling, and hindereth the due overseeing of good husband's affairs: it maketh a man overslip occasions of doing good things in a due and fit season: besides, it draweth home others to thy house, or draweth thee to others houses, as taverns, alehouses, and such like, the haunting whereof is a thing of no good report: and it maketh thee lavish in spending, or else it is no good fellowship, (as they say) and by means thereof thou shalt feed the gluttons, and spend that upon others, which belongeth to thine own family: which Solomon saith, Pro. 28. 7. is shame to thy father. Thy company keeping hath many other enormities: He that toucheth pitch, shallbe defiled therewith. And as thou art a party with him in his evils, so shalt thou be also in his punishment: The companion os fools shall be afflicted. Wherefore avoid such, and rather follow the wife: He Prou. 13. 20. that walketh with the wise, shall be wise: Who are they? Even they that have the lips of knowledge, whose words teach good things. But such whose talk is nothing but froth, their words unsavoury, bringing no good to the hearers: though there be no outward evil in their lives, yet they must not be admitted for companions, further than upon some urgent occasion thou must deal with them: Prou. 14. 7. Depart from the foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the 〈◊〉 of knowledge. As to have a faithful friend, is a matter available to thrift, so by some friends a man may be endamaged. There is a friendship, which is very costly, and chargeable to maintain. He that desireth familiarity with great men, must have other things suitable; as costly apparel, well trimmed houses, often invitings to banquets to recompense their kindness, he must follow their humours, and not stick to neglect his affairs to keep them company. This will cost a man sweetly, but what shall he gain? A friendly countenance before his face, and perhaps a dry flower behind his back, especially if things go not well with him for the world: then oh it is pity, a frank hearted man, no bodies foe but his own, and such like. Solomon giveth thee warning of this kind of friendship, Prou. 23. 1. 2. 3. There is another man's friendship, which Solomon would have thee to avoid as hurtful unto thee, Prou. 22. 24. Make no friendship with an angry man, neither go with the furious. The choleric man, though never so good a fellow while he is pleased, yet is soon turned to hate thee. And no beavier foe, than he that was a friend: which Solomon declareth, A brother offended, is harder to win then a strong City, and their contentions are like the bar of a Palace. If a man could always keep in with the angry man (which cannot be done without putting up many injuries) yet may that be hurtful: for the wise man addeth, Lest thou learn his ways: that is, become like to him in furiousness, and that is as hurtful on the other side. For the furious man aboundeth in transgressions, Prou. 29. 22. which do often cost him the setting on, even from men, who being by his rage hurt, or reproached, do watch their occasions to work him some woe. Whereupon we say in a common proverb: The angry man never wanteth woe. There be also trencher friends, who to win favour and good will, will smooth it in words, fawn, and glaver: they will say as you say, and bring you tales of your enemy, so to feed your humour, that he may wind within you: a beast that biteth sorest of all tame 〈◊〉 For whiles a simple-hearted man suspecteth no hurt, he watcheth his occasions to speed himself of a booty: a matter, that by the counsel of the holy Ghost oft repeated in the Proverbs, is as carefully to be avoided, as it is hurtful to a man's estate. If he can do none of these, yet he hath not lost his labour: for he had many a good welcome for his fair talk: and by often resorting to thy house, he hath furnished himself with some thing to discredit thee, except thou hast walked marvelous warily, which a man can hardly do before flatterers. To end this matter of friendship, have some near friends, but not many. Choose the best nature 〈◊〉 and the best graced; that is, such as besides single-heartednesse & plain simplicity, are by grace brought to have conscience of their dealing. And lest under a show of simplicity, wiliness should be hid, try before you trust, and grow into familiarity not all at a push, but by steps; tell things of no great secrecy (as secrets) to try their taciturnity. Be not over credulous, upon sight of a little kindness, to account them amongst thy nearest friends. Many have been wiped of their commodities by falsehood in fellowship. Some have been betrayed by untrusty friends, and brought into great troubles. Many opening their minds to blabbes that can keep nothing, have their purposes openly known and scanned, before they can compass them, and so are oftentimes prevented through the malice of their enviers. Wherefore, except a man can find a faithful friend indeed, it is good to remember the old saying: My secrets to myself; whereto our common proverb answers: Two may keep counsel, if one be away. The Wiseman ascribeth it to folly, to pour out a man's secrets lightly: The fool poureth Prou. 29. 11. out all his mind, but the wise man keepeth it in. As hurt cometh by some friends, so also by enemies many are sore annoyed. What charges in lawing, and other troubles be there in the world, through enmity? Wherefore it is good wisdom by all good means to avoid breaches which breed enmity: and by all friendly, just, and wise dealing, to keep peace and good will, even with the meanest. The weakest enemy is not to be contemned. It shall go hard but at one time or other, he will work thee some displeasure; at least his mouth shall always be open to speak ill, to misconstrue thy actions, and to blaze abroad thy infirmities and 'scapes. He that would have no enemies, must make himself none, by unjust, unkind, or unneighbourly dealing; but he must rather by couttecusnesse of speech, helpfulness, and good neighbourhood, win the love and liking of men: yet a man may be too wise in this point. Many being joth to incur any man's displeasure, will not seek to uphold right and equity, they will not speak for the poor, nor stand out to maintain God's cause, when he is dishonoured by open sin: as swearing, lying, railing, and such like. Many to keep in with all, use all companies alike: for avoiding a man's company breedeth a grudge. But the good will of men is never to be purchased with forsaking of duty. Such things as may justly be ill taken, avoid for peace sake. Whereof the Wiseman noteh some: as meddling in others men's matters. He that meddleth with a strife that belongeth not to him, is as he that taketh a Prou. 26. 17. dog by the cares: that is, casteth himself into dangers. 2. Be not hasty to go to Law, no not in a right cause, but agree at home. For besides that a man doth seldom scape without great loss, (in which respect it is also to be avoided, as an enemy to thrift) thy neighbour is openly put to reproach, he becometh thy mortal enemy, and will always watch to do thee hurt. 3. Sometime to seek recompense of a wrong breedeth greater malice in the author of the wrong, and maketh him double it; as a man spurreth his horse for kicking, when he was spurred. Say not, I will recompense evil, but wait upon Prou. 20. 22. the Lord, and he will save thee. 4. Ost haunting of another man's house may bring thee into mislike: wherefore the Wiseman saith, Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's Prou. 25. 17. house, lest he be weary of thee, and hate thee. If by careful avoiding of all just occasions, thou canst not avoid ill will, (as the world loveth none but her own) never seek to win favour by departing from duty, but commit thyself to God, and turn thy mind to make use of thine enemy. Let enmity, which is always prying, and seeking occasions to hurt, by word or deed, make thee to walk, not more closely, but more uprightly: and then mayest thou defy thine enemy: For be that walketh uprightly, walketh boldly. Pro. 10 9 Another enemy to thrift, (which is also a breaker of peace and good will among men) is much borrowing. He that is to borrow, doth spend much time, and le's slip many occasions of doing his business in the due season: he must repay in better measure than he borrowed, or else ill words, or ill will, will follow. If it be a matter of any value which is borrowed, then as Solomon saith, The borrower is servant to the lender: Prou. 22. 7. that is, beholding to him, and in his danger. The thriftiest men love least to be beholding to others, and therefore seldom seek, and often refuse, even when they be offered to receive benefits at others men's hands. He that goes a borrowing, goes a sorrowing: and every denial he receives, where he thinks he should speed, is the seed of grudge in the mind of the denier, & of him who is denied. But of all borrowing, to borrow up on usury is the dearest buying, and the rankest poison to thrift. When David would wish a sore plague to his enemy, he prayeth, that he may be given into the usurer's hand; Let the usurer eat him up: If the usurer be a devourer, woe be to them that come in his Psal. 109. 1. hands. To avoid borrowing, a good husband must cut off all unnecessary expenses, that he may have all necessaries in his house. To avoid borrowing of money take heed of suretyship, of dealing in bargains, which you are not fully able to compass: of dealing with many things, and having too many irons in the fire at once. Look how you may compass matters before you enterprise them. Provide long before against any day of payment, and have not money to seek upon the sudden: for that drives a man to borrowing, yea, to usury; or to sell Robin Hoods pennyworths. Besides, he must keep none in his house idle, or half set to work; none more than needs must. Let every one have his charge, that will throughly occupy him. Also, look that they do their tasks every one in his place: and have an often eye unto them, whether they have done as they should do. The master's eye maketh a fat horse: so also the mistress eye maketh a friendly dairy. Except you have rare servants, such as truly fear, God, and have good consciences, trust them not further than you see them, except necessity drive you. Hitherto of the duties that be belonging to the chief ruler os the family, that is, the husband, touching honest provision for it. Now seeing that God hath joined the wife The wife's duty touching the things of this life. to her husband as an helper, she must help him in the provision for her family, so much as lieth in her power, and is meet for to do. And indeed her industry and wisdom may do much herein, that though her husband should be much wanting in his duty, yet she might hold in the goal. Thus many have done, and so Solomon saith, the wise woman will do: A wise woman Prou. 14. 1. buildeth her house. But it is not every woman's case, because that all are not wise, as she that Solomon speaketh of. This wise woman is elsewhere called a gracious woman, Prou. 11. 16. And a virtuous woman, Prou. 12. 4. because many graces and virtues meet together in her. For she is To her husband, dutiful, faithful, dutifulness or dutiful will, is that which doth shine in the declaration and performance of duties. and loving. Towards those of her family, wise and prudent. In her business, diligent, & painful. Towards her neighbour, modest, humble, kind, and quiet. First, if she be not subject to her husband, to let him rule all the household, especially outward affairs: if she will make against him, and seek to have her own ways, there will be doing and undoing. Things will go backward, the house will come to ruin: for God will not bless where his ordinance is not obeyed. This is allowable, that she may in modest sort show her mind; and a wise husband will not disdain to hear her advice, and follow it also, if it be good. But when her way is not liked of, though it be the best way, she may not thereupon set all at six and seven, with what should I labour and travail? I see my husband taketh such ways, that he will bring all to nothing. This were nothing else, but when she seeth the house falling, to help to pull it down faster. Solomon saith, The wise-woman buildeth her house; much more than doth she underprop it, and hold it up, that by her husband's undiscreet dealing it be not pulled down. She must not think herself freed from duty, because he walketh not in his duty; but hold her place, and labour for her part to uphold all: and so God will either bless the works of her hands, to the maintenance of the house; or give her husband more wisdom and care: or else give her a contented mind with a low estate, which is great riches. One point of subjection is, to be content with such apparel and outward port as her husband's estate can allow her. They fail in this, who by importunity and disquietness, wring from their husbands more than he can well cut out from his revenues, or gettings. It is a part of unthankfulness, secretly to purloin 2. Faithful. and poll from him, for to prank up her children, or herself, her house, and chambers in bravery: and besides, it is a close undermining of her house. Love and peaceableness in the wife towards 3. Loving. Love is a natural affection of the mind, inflaming all the powers of the lover, with willing duty towards the beloved. her husband, is available for the weal of the family. For where they agree lovingly, there they counting the good of the one the benefit of the other, do jointly watch against all such things in their family, as might endamage it. There the servants know, that in pleasing one they shall please both: and chose, be careful in all things to deal well: whereas division in the governors maketh partaking in the servants; and when they care not for pleasing, but only that side which they affect, all such kind of service is but smally beneficial to thriving. It can hardly be avoided, but there will be some squaring and diversity between the man and his wife: but they must labour to compose such matters privately and quickly, that they grow not to breaches, for they be dangerous to thirst. Let there be therefore reasonings secretly between themselves, of such matters as might breed a scar; and let them be soon ended after the occasion is offered, before the minds be much exaspetated. Let there be no hard words of either side, not opening of old matters. Let it be done privately between themselves, and not before children, or servants: for they will not stick to carry tales, to please the humour of the party to whom they are most affected. Besides, they will spy your infirmities, and grow to a less regard of you, and they will blaze abroad such matters to your discredit. Now for her behaviour towards her servants A good huswife is a great patrimonte, & she is most honourable, that is most honest and godly. and children, if it be prudent and with wisdom, it doth much good in a house: but it containeth many points. That which her care for the most part rendeth unto, is saving. She that will be a good saver, must not be a slender huswife, but skilful in all points, whereof she A good saver, is as good as a good getter. shall have use in her family. She must not let her maids have their own ways, for want of skill: but she must be able to direct and prescribe, what, and how, in every business. Where she hath little skill, by reason of her education, she must be careful by conferring, and marking to learn skill, against she is to deal in such things, that she may be able to direct her servants, and to find them out when they have done amiss. She must have a good forecast to contrive As a word spoken in his place, is like apples of gold with pictures of silver, Prou. 25. 11. Even so is a business or work done in a fit and due time. and dispatch things in due time, and good order, that necessaries be not wanting when they should be used, & confusion do not make more labour than is needful. She must be wise, to mark the nature of her servants and children, to deal with them as their natures require, for the training of them to her hand. All must not be dealt with one way: and yet many have no way but one to deal withal: and that is chiding, and brawling, which they fall to upon every occasion, and that wearieth servants, and maketh often changes, discourageth children, and maketh both careless, whether they do their duties or no: yea it breedeth stubbornness, frowardness, and contempt in their minds. She must be wise, to mark and see what needless burdens, unnecessary expenses and losses there do upon occasions fall out within doors, and prevent such occasions afterwards. She must know the best ways of doings things to greatest use, with least charges. Briefly, she must know which way to save a penny, and lay about her to save it, for many a little maketh a great deal. She must know what is meet for servants, what for workmen, and what not: what is meet for ordinary, and what is meet for strangers. Above all, she must know how to keep within her compass, and yet to avoid the reproach of a pincher. She must know what servants may do within the compass of so much time, and what is above their strength. She must have a diligent eye to the behaviour of her servants, what meetings and greetings, what tickings and toyings, and what words and countenances there be between men and maids, lest such matters being neglected, there follow wantonness, yea folly, within their houses, which is a great blemish to the governors. In her business she must be diligent and painful. Hither to belongeth that Prou. 31. 15. She Painfulness is a labour or endeavour unto weariness, to bring any thing to pass. riseth before day: and verse 18. Her candle is not put out by night. She borroweth of the morning and the evening, for to dispatch her business. When she is up, doth she sit down and cap a stool? No, she looketh that her servants have their necessaries, that they may go soon to their work: she setteth her maids to work: and tasketh them, to keep them occupied: yea, she suffers none to be idle in her house, but either doing somewhat that is profitable, or else learning somewhat that is meet for them. She must not think to sit and command, but she must be a stirrer in every place, to oversee whether duty be done of all hands, and that in good sort, yea, and to quicken the diligence of her family: and that things may be well done, she must be at an end of every good work, sometimes setting to her hands to encourage the doer, sometimes gently teaching, sometimes commending, sometimes speaking fair, but never brawling: sometimes showing what is amiss in gentle language, letting them see what loss cometh by ill doing of a thing: sometimes friendly putting them in mind, how by sloth, forgetfulness, or sluttishness, they shall get an ill name for their service, and so become turneawayes from every good house. She must lay a diligent eye to her householdstuff in every room, that nothing be embezzled away, nothing spoiled or lost for want of looking to, nothing marred by ill usage, nothing worn out by more using then is needful, nothing out of place. For things cast aside are deemed to be stolen, and then there followeth uncharitable suspicions, which breed much disquietness. And though nice Dames think it an unseemly thing for them to soil their hands about any household matters, (and therefore if they do any thing, it is but pricking of a clout) yet the virtuous woman (as prover. 31. 17.) girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms: that is, she setteth herself painfully about some work that is profitable: For she selleth it afterwards. verse, 24. Yea, the particular work is described: She seeketh wool and flax, etc. She putteth her band to the wheel, and her hands handle the spindle: She maketh carpets. The meaning is: that she getteth some matter to work on, that she may exercise herself and her family in, and it is not some idle toy, to make the world gay withal, but some matter of good use: Her family is clothed with double, and her husband is known in the gate, he is so comely and trimly apparelled by her diligence at home, that he is in regard among men, and known when he goeth. But what need such as can live by their lands, to labour with their hands? What need had the woman that Solomon speaketh of? The conscience of doing good in Answer. the world should draw them to do that which no need driveth them unto. Remember that the virtuous woman stretcheth out her hand to the poor and needy, Prou. 21. 20. She giveth not of her husbands, she giveth of her own: she found a way to do good without the hurt of her husband. S. Paul requireth, that women should array themselves with good works, the comeliest 1. Tim. 2. 10. ornament in the world, if women had spiritual eyes to discern it. Dorcas in the Acts, teacheth wives how to get this array, for she made Act. 9 36. garments to clothe the naked and the poor. Thus might women find how to set themselves a work, though they could live of their own. But for such as have but a mean allowance, God thereby showeth, that he will have them occupy themselves in some honest labour to keep them from idleness, and the evils that issue therefrom. They therefore must labour, if not to sell cloth, as Salomon's woman did, nor to clothe the poor, as Dorcas did; yet to clothe her family, that they may not care for the cold. Let her avoid such occasions as may draw her from her calling. She must shake of sloth, and love of ease: she must avoid gossipping, further than the law of good neighbourhood doth require. S. Paul would have a woman a good home keeper. The virtuous woman is never so well, as when she is in the midst of her affairs. She that much frequenteth meetings of gossips, seldom cometh better home. Some count it a disgrace to come much abroad, lest they should be counted gossips, which name is become odious: but they must have tatlers come home to them, to bring them news, and to hold them in a tale, lest they should be thought to be idle without a cause. They perceive not how time runneth, nor how untowardly their business goeth forward while they sit idle. They know not, that great tale-bringers be as great carriers, and that such make their gain of carrying and recarrying. The wise woman will be wary whom she admitteth into her house to sit long there, knowing that their occupations is but to mark and carry. Towards her neighbours she is not sour, but courteous, not disdainful to the basest, but affable with modesty: no fcorner, nor giber, but bearing with infirmities, and making the best of things: not ready to stomach them for every light matter, and so to look big, but passing by offences for unities sake; not angry, but mild: not bold, but bashful; not full of words, pouring out all her mind, and babbling of her household matters, that were more fitter to be concealed, but speaking upon good occasion, and that with discretion. Let her hear and see, and say the best, and yet let her soon break off talk with such in whom she perceiveth no wisdom, nor savour of grace. Let her not be light to believe reports, nor ready to tell them again to fill the time with talk: for silence is Silence is a gravity, when she abstaineth and holds her peace from speaking when it doth not become her to speak. far better than such unsavoury talk. Let her not be churlish, but helpful in all things to prevent breaches; or else to make them up again, if by the waywardness of others there be any made. Let her not be envious, but glad of the good of others, nor fond of every thing that she seeth her neighbour have, but wisely considering what is meet for herself, & what her state will bear. Let her not be garish in apparel, but sober and modest: not nice nor coy, but handsome and huswifelike: no talker of other men's matters, nor given to speak ill of any, for fear of the like measure, Math. 7. 2. 1. The duty of the Husband towards his Wife. THis duty consisteth severally in these three points. First, that he live with his wife discreetly, according unto knowledge. Secondly, that he be not bitter, fierce, and cruel unto her. Thirdly, that he love, cherish, and nourish his wife, even as his own body, and as Christ loved the Church, and gave himself for it, to sanctify it. But before we shall speak of these three points, we will a little touch the original and beginning of holy wedlock; what it is, when, where, how, and of whom it was instituted and ordained. Wedlock or Matrimony, is a lawful knot, What wedlock is. and unto God 〈◊〉: acceptable a Mat. 19 5. 6 yoking and joining together of b 〈◊〉. 1. 27. 1. Cor. 16. Ephes. 5. 31. Prou. 5. 18. 19 20. one man and one woman, with the good consent of them both: to the end that they may dwell together in friendship and honesty, one helping and comforting the other, eschewing whoredom, and all uncleanness, bringing up their children in the fear of God: or it is a coupling together of two persons into one flesh, according to the ordinance of God; not to be broken, but so to continue during the life of either of them, Gen. 22. Malach. 2. 14. Rom. 7. 31. By yoking, joining, or coupling, is meant, not only outward dwelling together of the married Yoking and dweiling together what it is. folks, as to be ordinarily in a dwelling place for the better performance of mutual duties each to other, Mat. 1. 18. 1. Corin. 7. 10. 12. 13. 1. Pet. 3. 7. Ruth. 4. 11. 12. but also an uniform agreement of mind, and a common participation of body and goods; for as much as the Lord saith, that they two shall be one flesh: that is, one body. This is to be remembered, that Gen. 2. 24. Matrimony, or Wedlock, must not only be a coupling together, but also must be such a coupling together as cometh of God, and is not contrary to his word and will. For there be some marriages made whom God coupleth not together, but carnal lust, beauty, riches, goods and lands, flattery and friendship. In such marriages God is not thought upon, and therefore they sin the more against him. These and such like marriages be disliked and condemned in the Scripture, Gene. 6. 12. etc. Math. 24. 38. 39 God himself did appoint and ordain matrimony in Paradise; so that he is the author of the same, Gen. 2 20. Yea, and so our Saviour Christ himself (who was the very natural Son of God) being borne in wedlock, (although of a pure Virgin) did honour & commend matrimony, while he did vouchsafe to show his first miracle (joh. 2. 1.) at a Marriage: whereby he did declare, that the Lord is able to make the bitterness of marriage sweet, & the scarcity thereof to abound with plenty. And the Apostle giveth this excellent title to Marriage; saying, that it is * Marriage honourable: 1. For the author, which is God. 2. For the time which was during the state of Adam's innocency. 3. For the place, which was Paradise. (Honourable among all) Heb 13. 4. that is, among all estates, and all nations. Matrimony then, being an indissoluble bond and knot, whereby the husband and wife are fastened together by the ordinance of God, is e Gen. 24. Mat. 15. 5. Mark 10. 7. 1. Cor. 6. 16. Ephes. 5. 31. fat straighter than any other conjunction in the society of mankind. In somuch that it is a less offence for a man to forsake father and mother, and to leave them succourless, (who notwithstanding aught, by God's commandment to be honoured) than it is for him to do the like towards his lawful married wife. Wherefore let them look well what they do, that are ready for light and small causes to separate man and wife: seeing that Christ himself saith, Mat. 19 9 that whosoever is separated from his wife, saving for whoredom, and marrieth another, committeth adultery. This is a thing worthy to be remembered, both on the behalf of the suitor and wooer, as also on her part that is wooed: Namely, that they deal plainly and faithfully one with the other, and not guilefully, & craftily go about to deceive one the other, in body or in goods. For so doing, they shall never use one the other so lovingly and commodiously as they hoped and desired they might, when the one hath fraudulently and deceitfully enticed and beguiled the other, either in body or substance: for naturally we hate him or her, that doth be guile us. Neither is there any thing that displeaseth a man or woman more, then to lack and fail of a thing they both hoped and looked for. And therefore it were convenient, and also much better, that both parties should disclose the one to the other, the imperfections, infirmities, and wants, in either of their bodies; as also the mediocrity and meanness of their goods and substance, as in truth it is: yea, though it should be with peril and loss one of the other, rather than the one to obtain and get the other, with fraud, guile, and discord. But before we shall come to speak of the causes of marriage, we purpose (God so willing) briefly to show, how every one that intendeth to marry, should choose him a meet, fit, and honest mate: for there lieth much weight in the Gen. 1. 18. wise election and choice of a wife. As he that will plant any thing, doth first consider the nature of the ground in the which he mindeth to plant: even so much more ought a man to have respect to the condition of the woman, out of whom he desireth to plant children, the fruits of honesty and welfare. The first thing that is to be remembered of Such as are of kind red in the flesh, may not contract matrimony. such a one as mindeth to marry, is, that he do not choose his wife within such degrees of consanguinity and affinity, as are by f Levit. 18. 6 etc. God's Law forbidden. Secondly, g Deut. 7. 3. 2. Cor. 6. 14. 15. etc. religion and faith must be considered, lest he make divorce of the true faith, or bring it into peril. For although he think himself as wise as h 1. King. 11. 4. Solomon, and as strong as i judg. 16. 17. 18. Samson, yet may he be overcome as they were. Therefore great advertisement beforehand is to be taken in this behalf, left afterwards, with much grief and sorrow of heart he do too late repent. Now if any that hath matched himself with a wife that is an infidel, irreligious, or of a corrupt religion, would put her away for this matter, herein he deceiveth himselse, as the Apostle manifestly proveth. For we must put a difference 1. Cor. 7. 12. 13 1. Pet. 3. 11. between that marriage that is made and done already, & that which is yet to do. Wherefore he that is snared and matched with such a wife as is either froward, wayward, or else is poisoned with superstition and popery, in such a case must call upon God, and live in his fear, in faithfulness, in patience, with discretion & godly counsel, labouring to win her from the same. For like as the husbandman doth with great labour and diligence, till that ground which he hath once taken to farm, although it be never so full of faults: as if it be dry, if it bring forth weeds, brambles, or briers; or though it cannot bear much wet; yet through good husbandry he winneth fruit thereof. Even so in like manner, he that hath married a wife that is irreligious or froward, if he shall use like diligence to instruct and order her mind, if he diligently and courteously apply himself to weed away by little and little the noisome weeds out of her mind, both by wholesome and godly precepts, and by Christian conversation; it can not be but in time he shall feel the pleasant fruit thereof to both their comforts. Every one therefore that purposeth to marry, ought also to remember that there be three manner of riches in man. 1. The riches of the mind. Three manner of riches in man. 2, The riches of the body. 3. The riches of temporal substance. The best and the most precious, are the riches of the mind: as without which the other two are more hurtful than profitable. The riches of the mind, are the fear of God, Riches of the mind. faith, a desire of God's glory, the knowledge of his will, soberness, liberality, chastity, silence, humbleness, honesty, and such like virtues. These virtues lie not still, neither hide themselves wheresoever they be, but will break out diverse ways, so that they may well be spied and discerned. As then a traveller hath marked in his way, that he may proceed aright so likewise the man or woman that intendeth to marry, have also marks in their ways, by which they may make a right choice. There be certain signs of this fitness and godliness, both in the man and in the woman; so that if the man be desirous to know a godly woman, or the woman would know who is a godly man: then let them observe and mark these six points. 1.— The report. Six rules to be observed in the choice of a good wife or a good husband. 2.— The looks. 3.— The speech. 4.— The apparel. 5.— The companions. 6.— Last, the education and bringing up, which are like the pulses, that show whether a man be sick or whole, well or ill. 1 Report. The report, name, or fame, that he or she hath had, and yet have, and what opinion honest folks have of them; because as the market goeth, so the market-men will talk. A good man Pro. 10. 7. & 22. 1. and a good woman, commonly have a good name, because a good name is one of the blessings Preach 7. 3. Psal. 112. 6. which God promiseth to good men and good women. But a good name is not to be praised from the wicked; and therefore our Saviour Christ saith, Woe be to you, when all men speak well of you: Luke 6. 16. that is, when evil men praise and commend you; for that is a plain argument, that you are ambitious, vainglorious, and of the world: For the world liketh and praiseth her own. joh. 15. 19 Nevertheless, it is convenient that every Christian should so live in the world, that although he cannot say as Christ said, Whuh of you can rebuke me of sin? joh. 8. 40. yet so as in truth he may with a good conscience boldly say; Which of you can accuse me oflying, sweeting, whoring, dissembling, dishonesty, deceit, covetousness, or such like? Though therefore, no man can clear himself in thought before God, of these and other notorious vices, yet every one before men should avouch it, and approve it in their doing; and live so uprightly, holily, justly, and unblamably, that none could iusily charge them with any open sin. Luke 1. 6. 15. job. 1. 1. 1. Thessal. 2. 10. and 3. 13. Tit. 2. 12. 1. Pet. 1. 15. 2 The looks. Prou. 17. 4. The next sign is, The look; For as Solomon saith; The wisdom of a man doth make his face to shine, Eccles. 8. 1. that is, procureth him favour and good liking. So also, godliness is in the face of a man, or of a woman; and so likewise, folly and wickedness may many times be seen and discerned by the face of a man or a woman. And therefore it is said in Esay, The trial of their countenance Esay. testifieth against them: as though their looks could speak. And therefore we read of proud looks, and angry looks, and wanton looks, Psal. because they bewray pride, and anger, and wantonness. jeb. 13. 7. It is truly said, that a modest man dwells at the sign of a modest countenance, and an honest woman dwelleth at the sign of an honest face: which may fitly be compared to the gate of the Temple, that was called Beautiful: Act. 3. 2. showing, that if the entry be so beautiful, within is great beauty. To show how a modest countenance, and womanly shamefastness do commend a chaste wife, it is observed, that the word Nuptiae, doth declare the manner of her marriage: for it importeth Under fair faces are sometimes hidden filthy minds. a covering; because virgins which should be married, when they came to their husbands, for modesty and shamefastness did cover their faces: as we read of Rebecca, who when the saw Isaac, and knew that he should Gen. 24. 65. be her husband, cast a veil before her face: showing that modesty should be learned before marriage, which is the dowry that God addeth to her portion. 3 The talk. The third sign is her talk or speech, or rather her silence. For a man or a woman's talking, is the mirror and messenger of the mind, in the which it may commonly be seen without, in what case the man or woman is within, according to the common proverb: Such as the man or woman is, such is their talk. Now silence is the best ornament of a woman To Adam first and to 〈◊〉 after. and therefore the law was given to the man rather than to the woman, to show that he should be the teacher, and she the hearer; and therefore she is commanded to learn of her husband. 1. Cor. 14. 34. 35. Maids must speak like an Echo. As the Echo answereth but one word for many, which are spoken to her; so a Maids answer should be in a word: for she which is full of talk, is not likely to prove a quiet wife. The eye and the speech, are as the glasses of the mind: For out of the abundance of the heart Mat. 12. 34. (saith our Saviour) the mouth speaketh. As though by the speech we might know what aboundeth in the heart: and therefore he saith, By thy mordes thoushalt be justified, and by thy words thou Mat. 12. 37. shalt be condemned. That is, thou shalt be justified to be wife, or thou shalt be condemned to be foolish; thou shalt be justified to be sober, or thou shalt be condemned to be rash; thou shalt be justified to be humble, or thou shalt be condemned to be proud; thou shalt be justified to be loving, or thou shalt be condemned to be envious. Therefore Solomon saith, A fool's lips are a snare to his own soul. Snares are made Prou. 18. 7. for other, but this snare catcheth a man's self, because it bewrayeth a man's folly, and causeth his trouble, and bringeth him into discredit. chose, The heart of the wise (saith Solomon) guideth his mouth wisely, and the words of his Prou. 16. 23. mouth have grace. Now to show that this should be one mark in the choice of a wife; Saloman describing a right wife. saith: She openeth her mouth with wisdom: and the law of grace is in her tongue: Prou. 31. 26. for that she delighteth to talk of the word of God. A wife that can speak this language, is better than she which hath all the tongues. But as the open vessels are counted unclean, so also account that the open mouth hath much uncleanness. 4 Apparel. Luk. 16. 19 The fourth sign is, the apparel; for as the pride of the 〈◊〉 is noted, in that he went in purple every day: so also the humility of john is noted, in that he went in haircloth Mark. 1. 6. every day. For doubtless by a man or a woman's apparel, excessive laughter, and going, they may partly be discerned of what disposition they are. It is convenient that he that will be a suitor to a woman, mark what apparel she customably useth to wear; whether it be vain, whorish, wanton, light; or comely, modest, and mannetly, and beseeming her estate and condition: to wit, honest and sober raiment. For apparel doth often give a certain and sure testimony of pride, lightness, wantonness, inconstancy, unshamefastness, filthiness, or uncleaunesse, and other vices, or virtues, that be either in the man or woman. For a modest man or woman, are for the most part known by their sober attire: as the Prophet Eliah was known by his rough garment. So that we are to look 2. King. 18. for no better within, than we see without; for every one seemeth better than they be. If then the face be vanity, the heart is pride. He that biddeth us abstain from the show of evil, would have us to abstain from those means, Husbands 1. Thess. 5. 22. or wives, who have the shows of evil: for it is hard to come in the fashion, and not to be in the abuse. And therefore the Apostle saith: Fashion not yourselves like unto the world; as though the fashions of men did declare of what 〈◊〉. 12. 2. side they are. 5 Company. The fifth sign is the company, by means whereof much may be perceived. For as whole and found eyes, with beholding and looking on sore eyes, be annoyed and hurt: even so, good and honest folks be oftentimes stained Men are commonly conditioned, even like unto them that they keep company withal. and hurt with the company of the wicked and ungodly; according to the common proverb: Such like is every one, as the company is with whom they keep. For birds of a feather will hold together: and fellows in sin, will be fellows in league; even as young Rehoboam Prou. 1. 11. & 13. 20. Psal 〈◊〉. jos. 23. 12. Num 16. 20. 1. Cor. 6. 14. Ephes. 5. 7. chose young companions, 1. King. 12. 8. The tame beast will not keep with the wild, not the clean dwell with the leprous. If a man can be known by nothing else, than he may be known by his companions: for like will to like, as Solomon saith; thieves call one another. Therefore when David left iniquity, he said: Away from me all ye that work iniquity; showing, that a man never abandoneth evil, until he abandon evil company: for no good is concluded in this parliament. Therefore choose such a companion of thy life, as hath chosen company like thee before. For they which choose such as loved profane companions before, in a short time are drawn to be profane too. 6 The bringing up. It skilleth more by whom and by what ways men be brought up, then of whom they be begotten. The last sign is education, which giveth also great testimony, namely by whom, and how every one is brought up, whether the man or the woman were conversant among virtuous or vicious persons, and whether the parties having continued in the nurture of the virtuous, and showed themselves obedient to them under whom they were brought up, or whether either of the parties have broken out of this discipline, and followed his, or her own wilfulness. For it is a small matter for either of them to have dwelled among, or with virtuous and religious folk: but herein lieth the force and weight, how far, and how much, either or both the parties have followed those, and profited under them, and were dutiful and obedient unto them. For judas was among, and accompanied with the Apostles, brought up certain years under Christ, but for all this he was never the better: for he left not his wicked pranks, neither was he obedient. Nevertheless good education and discipline formeth good To be good it doth much profit to be well brought up. manners: men and women commonly savour most of those good or evil things, which in youth they learned. Therefore to prove good, honest, and virtuous, it importeth and forceth much, from the infancy to be well governed, and Christianly brought up. For we retain much more of the customs wherewith we be bred, then of the inclinations wherewith we be borne. All these properties are not spied at three or four comings and meetings of the parties, for hypocrisy is spun with a fine thread, and none are so often deceived as lovers. He therefore which will know all his wife's qualities: or she that will perceive her husband's dispositions, and inclinations, before either be married to the other, had need to see one the other eating, and walking, working, and playing, talking and laughing, and chiding too: or else it may be, the one shall have with the other, less than he or she looked for, or more than they wished for. Here is to be remembered, a thing adjoined to marriage, and going before it, namely, Betrothing, being a solemn and laudable custom of God's children, as is proved Deuteron. 20. 7. & 22. 23. 24. This betrothing, is a covenant What betrothing 〈◊〉. between the parties to be married, before fit witnesses appointed thereto: whereby they give their troth, that they will, and shall marry together, except some lawful unmeetnesse and disliking each of other do hinder it in the mean time. The practice of it we see, Mat. 1. 18. Luk. 1. 27. where the Virgin Marie was betrothed to joseph, yet they had not met together, to wit, to accompany together according to the end of marriage. This custom, noted and marked in diverse places of the Scripture, hath diverse good grounds to be observed, which prove that there ought to be a contract before marriage. And for the better understanding of this point of betrothing, it shall not be amiss, in some plain and short manner, to make known the holy doctrine hereof, with the doctrine also of marriage, and marriage duties. First then we must know, that every marriage that hath been well and orderly used, either of the heathen (which were only enlightened with the law of nature) or of the people of God, who also were to be directed by his word, was perfected by two solemn actions: that is, by an apparent and open contract, and by public marriage, the true and unfeigned confirmation thereof. Wherefore we will first speak of a contract (which is also called espousing, affiancing betrothing, or handfasting) then of marriage itself. And for betrothing, or espousals, we read in the writing of ancient Philosophers, Histories, Orators, Poets and others, that they be of great antiquity, of necessary use, and have been ordinarily practised. Insomuch as the users thereof are highly commended, the neglecters and abusers hereof sharply rebuked & condemned. Which seeing they could not do, but upon knowledge and judgement, it doth manifestly declare, that they did it by nature's law, written and bred in their breasts. And therefore even nature itself (though in some matters stark blind, and in many of very dim sight) hath in all ages, bewrayed the lawfulness, the necessity, and the use of espousals, to be the first step and degree to a lawful and comforrable marriage. But to omit this law, and to come to the written word, let us further consider what allowance thereof we find in the same, and consequently what it is, not only to marry, but to be betrothed, not according to the direction of nature alone, but in the Lord also. First it is certain, that the Lord approveth this betrothing as his own sacred ordinance. For we read in Exodus 21. 7. 8. 9 10. 11. how carefully he provideth by sundry and many strait commandments for the maid-servant that is betrothed. First, that she shall not go out of her service, as the manservants do. Secondly, that her master shall have no power to sell her to a strange people. Thirdly, that being betrothed unto his son, he shall deal with her as with his own daughter. Fourthly, if another wife be taken with her, that neither her food, her raiment, nor recompense of her virginity, shall any whit at all be diminished. Fiftly, that whensoever she goeth out of her service, she shall pay no money at all. None whereof the Lord would have done (much less all of them) unless espousals had been his own ordinance, instituted, ordained and commanded by himself to be used, even of the maid servant, that was bought and sold. Again, the Lord in Deuteron. Cap. 22. 23. etc. requireth no less punishment to be inflicted upon them that violate the bonds of espousal, then if they broke wedlock. For he commandeth, that if any man shall abuse a betrothed virgin in the City, both shall be stoned to death, the maid because she cried not, the man because he hath humbled his neighbour's wife. Where by the way is to be remembered, how God calleth the betrothed a Wife. If then such wickedness by justice deserveth death, and if betrothed persons be truly to be termed man and wife, only in regard of the precedent espousals, we may then plainly see, how highly the Lord doth esteem and honour them: the breach whereof he punisheth with the punishment of adultery: and the persons betrothed, he honoureth with the names of man and wife. If indeed he had not ordained and allowed them, but that they had been of humane institution alone, he would not have honoured them with such titles, or have imposed death by stones, for the breach of man's ordinance. Again, if a man abuse a betrothed maid in the field, he saith that the man shall die, but unto the maid thou shalt do nothing, because there is in the maid no cause of death. Now imposing death upon this man, and not upon him that abuseth a maid not betrothed, the Lord doth hereby evidently teach, that espousals are a degree beyond a single estate, & of the nature of marriage: and therefore the unlawful breach thereof deserveth death. For what else should the Lord grace them with such large privileges, and punish the breach thereof with severe punishment? Further, the faithful in all ages instructed by these and such commandments, approved and practised these espousals, not only by themselves, but also by their children. Samson, liking judg. 14. 1. &c and loving a woman of the Philistims in Timnah, desired his father and mother to give her unto him to wife, and so they did: at which time Samson made a feast, according to the custom of the young men. Albeit her father afterwards would not suffer him to marry her, but gave her to another; for which injury Samson revenged himself of the Philistims, by burning up their shocks and standing corn, vineyards, and olives: for which the Philistims burned both the father and the daughter. So David begged Micholl of her father Saul, who gave her unto him to wife, with condition, that he 1. Sam. 18. 25. 26 27. 2 Sam. 3. 24. 25. should bring him a hundred fore-skinnes of the Philistims, and therefore when Saul was dead, he required her of Ishbosheth Saul's son, who 〈◊〉 her unto him. Also joseph and Marie the mother of Christ were betrothed, which God would never have permitted, if it had not been of his own ordinance, and agreeable to his own will, of if it might any manner of way have stained, 〈◊〉 her joseph's honesty, or Mary's virginity: nay, if it had not much more graced and adorned both, than the want of espousals could have done. And to avoid tediousness in so plain a truth, seeing the Scripture giveth power and authority to parents, to give, and not to give their children in marriage; saying, Let him do what he will. Again: He that giveth her in marriage doth well, and he that giveth her not to marriage doth better, (whereof we shall speak more at 1 Cor. 7. 36. 37 38. large anon:) there must needs be before the public act of marriage, some special time appointed, wherein both parents and parties may testify and signify their mutual liking and consents, unless they despise to marry in the Lord. Wherefore, if the law of Nature, the Law of God, the practice of the heathen, the custom of the faithful, especially of the parents of Christ: if the punishment of the espowsall-breakers, and the rewards and privileges of the espoused: and finally, if the fatherly authority over children, do approve and require the continual use of this ordinance of God, it must needs be confessed to be both lawful and necessary: yea, being the first principal part of marriage itself, it must needs be honourable in his kind, as well as marriage itself is. Now then, in the next place, let us see and learn what a Contract is, to the end, that upon sound knowledge and right judgement, we may always use it well, and never ill, for want of good understanding. A Contract is a voluntary promise of Marriage, mutually made between one man and one woman, both being meet and free to marry one another, and therefore allowed so to do by their parents. This short sentence, showeth the whole nature, quality, property, use and abuse, with all other things that are to be observed or eschewed in a right Contract, as shall appear by the unfolding of every word contained therein; for, as there is none vain and idle, void of his proper signification; so every one hath his proper weight, serving for special and necessary use. 1. First, we call a Contract, a promise; and so it is indeed; for what is a promise, but a speech, which affirmeth or denyeth, to do this or that, with purpose and words of testimony, to perform and accomplish that which is affirmed, or not to do that which is denied? And what other thing is indeed a marriage Contract, but this? so that it must be in nature, a true and right promise: not the vow of a promise in time to come, but a present promise indeed. For if one party do say, I will promise to marry thee; this is no promise indeed, but a promise of a promise, and consequently no Contract, but a promise of a Contract: and therefore tieth not bindeth neither parties nor parents to keep the same; for it is not in nature any Contract at all. Again, if a Contract be in promise, it is not only a purpose of the heart, nor a dumb show or doubtful signification of promise, but a plain promise, uttered and pronounced in a right form of speech: as when one saith, I do promise to marry thee, or I do espouse, affiance, or betrothe myself to thee in marriage, or such like: wherein all ambiguity and doubtfulness of speech is to be eschewed: that as the meaning of the heart is simple and plain, so like wise the words of the tongue might be simple, plain, and void of all deceit. 2. Secondly, we call a Contract, a promise of marriage; because it is not a promise of every thing, neither of honour, of inheritance, of riches, or of any other thing else, saving only of marriage. Now we mean by marriage, not only the parties married, but also conjugal & marriage duties and offices, that peculiarly belong to this honourable estate, and are necessarily to be performed mutually of both. For this promise touching persons themselves, is of such force and weight, that it tendeth to the alienation of the property of bodies; for so it is written: The wife hath not the power of her 1. Cor. 7. 4. own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not the power over his own body, but the wife. For, although this is not perfectly done, till the act of marriage be ended, yet this promise is the principal beginner and worker thereof: because they that promise marriage, do necessarily thereby promise, that two shall become one flesh, and that they will always give mutual benevolence one to another. Touching the peculiar duties of Husbands and Wives, which likewise are promised by this Contract, we will here only recite them, leaving the doctrine thereof to another place and time. 1. The Husband, his duty is, first to love his wife as his own flesh. 2. Then to govern her in all duties, that properly concern the state of marriage, in knowledge, in wisdom, judgement, and justice. 3. Thirdly, to dwell with her. 4. Fourthly, to use her in all due benevolence honestly, soberly, and chastely. 1. Pet. 3. 7. 1. The Wife, her duty is, in all reverence and humility, to submit and subject herself to 1. Cor. 7. 4. 5. her Husband, in all such duties as properly belong unto marriage. 2. Secondly, therein to be an help unto him, according to God's ordinance. 3. Thirdly, to obey his commandments in all things, which he may command by the authority of an Husband. 4. Fourthly and lastly, to give him 〈◊〉 benevolence. As for the rest of mutual duties, as they may be all comprehended under these, so there shall be a fitter occasion to speak thereof. Thirdly, we call this promise of marriage voluntary, because it must not come from the lips alone, but from the well-liking and consent of the heart: sor if it be only a verbal promise, without any will at all, (and so merely hypocritical and dissembled) though it bindeth the party that promiseth to the performance of his promise made before God and man: yet if the parents afterwards shall certainly know this, and that there was no will, nor unfeigned meaning at all in the party, neither yet is, but rather a loathing and abhorring of his Spouse betrothed, though he be not able to render just and sufficient cause thereof, they may upon this occasion, either defer the day of marriage the louger, to see if God will happily change the mind of the party; or utterly break and frustrate the promise: if all good means and occasions having been used, none will prevail: but that the party rather groweth worse and worse. For, a Contract being a willing and a voluntary consent, there is no cause why the parents, and such as have authority, and power in sueh cases, when they shall undoubttedly know that the promise was altogether unwilling, and therefore made in mere hypocrisy and dissimulation, neither can be by tract of time, or any other good means used, be bettered, but rather waxeth worse and worse, may not break and frustrate the same. For why did Rebeccaes' parents deny her to Isaac, neither would send her with Abraham's servant to be married, before such time as they had asked her consent: yea, when as they said, We will call the Gen. 24. 57 maid, and ask her consent: do they not plainly show, that both the law of Nature, and the Law of God taught them, that this consent was of great moment, & absolute necessity? And when the Apostle doth command men and women to marry in the Lord; how can the marriage be in the Lord, when one party doth not only not love, but hate the other? And how can such two become one flesh lawfully, when as there wants the union and conjunction of the heart, the true natural mother of all marriage duties? Wherefore this promise must be in this respect, at least willing and voluntary. For, albeit it is not necessary, neither yet possible, that there should be such great measure of true, holy, and sanctified love at that time as afterward, (for that groweth by little and little according to the blessing of God, and the faithful performance of other duties afterward even to their life's end,) yet if it be voluntary and unfeigned, it is enough, and sufficient to make a true contract in the Lord. So as no man ought to separate those, whom God hath thus joined. Secondly, we call it voluntary, in respect of constraint and compulsion, contrary to a free consent. For if either party be urged, constrained, or compelled, by great fear of their parents or others, by threatening of loss of preferment, of health, of limb, of life, or of any such other like, or by any other violent manner of dealing whatsoever, to yield their promise, clean contrary to the motion or good liking of their hearts; this kind of promise, as it doth not bind the party to keep it, so it ought to be frustrated & broken, by the parents themselves, or by such masters as may and aught to command and rule them in such cases. If this were not so, how could the parties keep the commandments of God, giving them direction whom to marry? First, that they should marry only in the Lord. Again, that they should not be unequally yoked with infidels: neither of which they can keep if their parents might compel them to Contract and marry. It becometh the parents to persuade their children by all good means to yield their consent, rather than to draw them by wicked sleights and cunning, drunkenness, or any other wicked and violent means. For, as that is not to marry in the Lord: so all such forced Contracts, may be broken and frustrated by the Magistrate, who is God's Lieutenant, to redress such intolerable enormities among the societies of men. For, if parents may deny marriage to such as have only by force and violence obtained the word and body of their child, much more may the magistrate deny marriage, where only a verbal promise nath been gotten by violent compulsion: and for these causes, and in this sense and meaning alone, we conclude, that Contracts must be voluntary. Fourthly, it must be a mutual promise, that is, either party must make it to other, not the man only, nor the woman only, but both the man and the woman: though decency and order require the man to do it first, and then the woman, because he is her head, and she his glory: and aught to lead and guide her in all things, wherein the Lord hath put a preheminence. For, if this promise be not mutually made of them both, but of one alone, it is no true and perfect Contract: and therefore may be broken by parents, and such as have authority herein: because the party unpromising, is not bound by word or deed, but is free, in so much that such a Contract is rather so termed, then that it is any true Contract indeed. But if it be mutual, than it doth mutually and muiolably bind both: so that in this regard, neither parent, magistrate, nor any other, can or aught to break it: for this being fully performed and accomplished, is one principal cause of making two one flesh, in such sort as it is written: Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife, and they two shall be one flesh, etc. Genes. 2. 24. Also that the man hath not power over his own body, nor the woman over hers: and so to be short, hence ariseth all mutual benevolence between them. And therefore a point of great weight and necessity, in no wise to be omitted in a Contract. Fiftly, we say, it must be between one man and one woman: where first it is to be noted; that it may not, nor ought not to be between any other creatures, but mankind: nay, neither among brute beasts nor Angels. For God hath not ordained or instituted marriage for them, neither can it be between man and man, or woman and woman. If any such Contract be either voluntary, or by fraud and deceit, by ignorance or error, it is no Contract at all, but a mere wicked profanation of God's ordinance, who gave only woman to man, not woman to woman, nor man to man. Likewise, it cannot be between Angels good or bad, and woman, because God hath set no such ordinance in the nature of these creatures. If therefore there hath been any such matter, or shall be attempted by Satan, with any woman (as some stories report) it is nothing 〈◊〉 but a mere illusion and devilish practice, to deceive and draw superstitious into the kingdom of darkness, and to entrap them in the chains of condemnation: against which, and all other diabolical illusions, we ought to watch and pray continually. Secondly, it is to be observed, that between one man and one woman: and not two men and one woman, or two women; not between two women and one man, or moe. By which is condemned, as mere nullities and profanations, all Contracts whatsoever, made between more than two. For it is written; And they twain shall be one flesh: to which Mark addeth: So that they are no more twain, but one Mat. 19 5. Mar. 10. 8. Eph 5. 31. 1. Cor. 6. 16. flesh. Wherefore seeing that Christ and his Apostles, expound the first institution of marriage of two only, and not of any more; it is certain, that the Contract or promise thereof, aught to be of two alone, and no moe. So the holy Ghost, saying; Let every man have his own wife, and every woman her own husband: and not, Let every one 1. Cor. 7. 2. have his own wives, or her own husbands. It is therefore plain & questionless, that he would have a Contract and marriage to be only between one and one. Again, saying: his own, and her own; doth he not plainly insinuate, every other person and persons, not to be their own, but mere strangers, with whom they ought to have nothing ado in respect of marriage duties, especially considering that the Greek word Idion, can import no less. Now then, if there be at any time, or any place, a promise between more than two, as it is a wicked and mere profanation of the holy ordinance of God: so it may and aught to be broken; yea, severely punished by parents and Magistrates. If against this it be objected; that many of the patriarchs and good men under the Law, had many wives, or at least more than one: we answer, It was their secret sin, and great infirmity, though proceeding from ignorance of the first institution of Marriage, of the Law, and the holy Prophets, (or else they had warrant from God, which we have noted.) Of the institution: because Christ interpreting it, saith: From the beginning it Math. 19 8. was not so: proving that Moses permitted divorcement of the first wife, and marriage of the second, not moved or warranted by the authority of God's institution, but by a fearful and timorous consideration of the hardness of the people's hearts, whom he ruled, lest they should have rebelled against him if he had not so done. Of the Law: because there was by this means great injury done to God's truth, and to the wives divorced: besides, the Law itself well understood (as Christ expoundeth it, Matth. 5. 〈◊〉) admitteth no divorcement, except it be for fornication. And that the Lord did disallow and hate all other kinds of divorcement, made without Deut. 24. 14. the cause of fornication, it is evident, in that he condemneth the second marriage, after the first divorcement, affirming that the woman so divorced, is defiled by her second husband: which could not be true, if their marriage had been lawful and warrantable by the commandment of God; for where the marriage is lawful and honourable, there the bed is undefiled. Of the Prophets: Because the Lord hath been Hebr. 13. 4. Mal. 2. 14. 15. 16. witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast transgressed: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? yet had he abundance of the spirit: and wherefore one? because he sought a godly seed: therefore keep yourselves in your spirit, and let none trespass against the wife of his youth. If thou hatest her, put her away (saith the Lord God of Israel) yet he covereth the injury under his garment (saith the Lord of hosts:) therefore keep yourselves in your spirit, and transgress not. Then which words, what can be more plainly spoken against this sin of having more wives than one? For doth not the Prophet plainly say, that God is witness, that they have transgressed against the wife of their youth and covenant? Doth he not call them to the first institution, when God made but one, and that because he would have a godly seed, and not an adulterous generation? Doth he not further say, that in putting away the wife, they did nothing else but cover injury, under pretence of his law, as with a garment? And finally, doth he not give a clean contrary commandment to that wicked custom of divorcement, and marrying of others? when he saith; Keep yourselves in your spirit, and let none transgress against the wife of his youth, and of his covenant. Surely, none can be so blind, but reading this portion of Scripture, he must needs plainly see and acknowledge the same. Wherefore, if the first sacred institution of God, do bewray this corruption of having more wives than one: if the Law do condemn it, and if the Prophets do so sharply censure and rebuke it, why should any be so impudent and wicked, as to justify it in word, or to approve it in thought? Rather as here we teach, let us judge and believe, that every lawful Contract and marriage, aught to be only between one man and one woman. And the rest to be so many breaches of God's ordinances and commandments, which cannot but be hateful to him, and injurious to mankind: but especially to the Church of God, which ought to arise of a holy and godly seed. Now if any Contract be made between more than two, it is altogether void, and of none effect, and aught to be broken by the party, and punished by the magistrate. The sixth point concerneth the persons between whom the Contract is made, in whom there is required two properties: meetness for marriage, and freedom or liberty to marry one another. Touching the first, those especially are fit and meet to marry, whom God doth call to that honourable estate, and commandeth them to use it as his lawful means, appointed and sanctified for procreation: for so it appeareth by the first institution, wherein God gave the woman to the man to be an helper meet for him, as in other things, so especially in this: whom he blessed, saying: Bring forth fruit and Gen. 1. 28. multiply, etc. And that we may know more particularly what sort of persons they be, the holy Ghost describeth them to be such, as to whom the gift of continency is denied, yet the gift of procreation is vouchsafed and granted. For if marriage (as the Apostle saith, Hebrews 13. verse 4.) be honourable among all sorts of persons, then amongst those that be strong. Again, it is written: I say to the unmarried, and to widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I do: 1. Cor. 7. 8. 9 but if they cannot abstain let them marry: for it is better to marry then to burn. In which words we may plainly see, that he pointed out, as with his finger, those that are called and commanded by God to marry: namely, such as have not received the gift of abstinence and continency. Which calling and commandment is so much the straighter, and the more to be regarded and followed, because the Apostle gave it to those persons that were molested and presfed with many and grievous persecutions: a season of all other most unfit for any to marry in, in as much as beside the ordinary incommodities of marriage estate, it cannot but bring with it many extraordinary grievances and troubles. Notwithstanding, if such persons be called and commanded then to marry, when as there were most grievous persecutions; much more in the time of peace and prosperity. By this than we see, that all persons which have not received the gift of abstinence, and are fit for procreation, are called and commanded to marry, and therefore may lawfully enter a Contract of the same. But are none else meet for marriage? We answer, that no other is called, commanded, or warranted by God, to make Contract with any of these meet ones, because they are unable to perform the principal duties of marriage. As for children under age, they are altogether unfit to take upon them this honourable estate, and therefore debarred by God's Commandment from making any promise or Contract. If they have done it, it is but a mere profanation of this holy ordinance, worthy great punishment, and also to be broken, if that (being come to years of discretion and state of marriage) they do not by wisdom and religion supply all that was wanting in their former rash attempt, to the full contentation of all that have interest in them. As for those that have received the gift of continency, they are called & counselled to chastity, during the whole time of that gift, for so saith our Saviour Christ, All men cannot receive this thing, (have they to whom it is given: Matth. 19 11. And again, He that is able to receive this, let him receive it. So the Apostle saith, It is good for them if they abide even as I do: 1. Cor. 7. 7. Again, Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife: So likewise are those that are borne chaste, or made chaste by men, or by themselves for the kingdom of heaven. But you will say; What if any of these do make a Contract and marry? We answer, first, if they be utterly unfit for marriage, their contract is of no validity, and may be broken by superior authority; but if they be fit for it, we say with the Apostle, Art thou loosed 1. Cor. 7. 27. from a wife? seek not a wife, but if thou takest a wife, thou sinnest not: and if a virgin marry, she sinneth not, etc. Last of all, as consanguinity and affinity do restrain and bind from this former Contract and marriage: so likewise do natural frigidity, and coldness, infancy, incurable diseases that deprive men of all fitness for the use of marriage. So as if any such by fraud, ignorance, or any other sinister means be contracted, it is nothing; and the parties may be lawfully separated, because they were never joined together in the Lord, but against the Lord. And here, when we say, meet and fit to marry one with another, there would be a wise and holy regard had of equality in years, of agreement in religion, or similitude in nature and manners, outward estate and condition, & quality of person, and such like necessary circumstances. For what is more unmeet, then for an old person to promise to be contracted to a young one? for an infidel to Contract with a believer? for a good natured and well mannered, with a crooked and froward person? for a Prince with a beggar? For although all these do not annihilate and make void the Contract altogether; yet such Contracts cannot be in the Lord. And thus much shall suffice to have taught, touching the fitness of Marriage. Now concerning the freedom and liberty, it is clear, that those alone have liberty & freedom to Contract, who have liberty to marry. Now if we will know who those be, they are diversely described and noted in Leu. 18. where certain degrees, as well in affinity as in consanguinity are expressly forbidden: so that if such parties shall Contract themselves together, their Contract is vain, and a mere nullity; such as ought to be broken and punished. Again, every one either betrothed or married, is bounden and tied from contracting with any other; for that were nothing else but to promise gross and beastly adultery. And as the Apostle teacheth, that the wife is bound by the Law, as long as her husband liveth: so likewise is the betrothed wife; insomuch as if any such shall Contract themselves with another, it is a mere nullity and wicked profanation of God's ordinance, and aught upon knowledge thereof to be broken and punished. And thus we see what manner of persons the Lord hath called and commanded to marry, and who they be that are meet and free to marry together, and who not. The last point is the consent and allowance of their parents: which though it be very material and necessary, yet it is not the sole form or formal cause which maketh a true Contract. For if the parents should yield their consent to their children, being neither meet nor free to be married together, it were nothing: & such a Contract, though warranted by parent's consent, aught to be broken by the Magistrate, and both parents and children are to be punished. For this cause we have not said simply, and allowed: but therefore allowed so to do; because consent of parents to such children as are not meet and fit to be married together, doth not make that Contract good, true, and inviolable: which nevertheless, wanting their consents, though in other respects never so good, is a mere nullity, & cannot be accomplished without the manifest breaches of the institution, and guilt of adultery. Now by parents we understand not only the natural parents, but such as by the law of nature and of God, supply their places: as grandfathers, great grandfathers, uncles, aunts, great uncles and aunts, brethren, sisters, kinsmen, and kins-women, Magistrates, and those to whose families the parties do especially belong. For all these are honoured in Scripture by the name of parents. Neither may we exempt out of this number, Guardians, Masters, and such to whom the continual custody and tuition of any is lawfully committed. For if such be commanded to provide for them, as parts of their own families, there is no reason why they should not especially be respected, as well in bestowing them abroad out of their family, as they were in taking them into it. For if their consent be necessary at their coming in, why should they go out without their consent? Further, we say their parents, and not his or her parents, because parents on both sides ought necessarily to consent and allow their children to betrothe themselves. For this is the privilege not of some parents, but of all; and in that they be parents. Moreover, we say allowed, and not required, neither commanded, nor yet exhorted or instructed so to do; because, that albeit the parents do neither call their children to this Contract, neither command them, neither require them, neither exhort them, (all which notwithstanding they ought to do) yet if they do but only allow them, and give them bare consent that they shall contract themselves, it is enough for the tying of the knot, and the substance of the Contract. And to prove that this contract is necessary, we need no more reasons but that which the Apostle setteth down, saying of the father, Let him do what he will. By Cor. 7. 36. which words he putteth it in the will and power of the father, either to bestow or not to bestow his daughter in marriage: saying, In doing either of the twain, he sinneth not. Yet it is written in another place: If the father refuse to give Exod. 22. 16. 7. her to him, he shall pay money, according to the dowry of Virgins. In which words the Lord doth give an absolute authority to the father, to yield, or not to yield his consent: to give, or not to give his daughter. For if he have power to deny it to his daughter that is deflowered, and so (by the Apostles judgement) made one flesh with another; much more lawfully may he deny his consent Cor. 6. 16. to her that is no manner of way bound, but is every way free. And if he have power to deny his consent in such a case, much more hath he power to give his consent. Now his authority and power to deny his consent, is apparent by the express commandment of God in that behalf, which saith, Take heed to thyself that thou make no compact Exod. 34. 16. with the inhabitants of the land, and so take of their daughters unto thy sons, etc. More plain; Neither shalt thou make marriages with them, neither give thy daughter unto his son, nor take his daughter 〈◊〉. 7. 3. to thy son. How could those parents observe this commandment, unless God had given them power to deny consent to their children; or why doth he rather forbid to the parents, then to the children? but to show that the power to give or not to give, was in the parents and not in the children? especially considering the children being the principal parts of their parents goods, are no less in their power and authority to give and bestow, than the rest are. This was so well known in the Church, and so usually practised amongst the people of God, that the greatest among them, who might seem to have greatest liberty in that behalf, durst not disobey the holy commandment of God. For Samson the strongest of all, though he loved a Maid of the Philistims, yet he durst not betrothe judg. 15. himself unto her, before he had entreated his parents to give her unto him. David a mighty valiant Prince, begged Michol at the hands of Saul her father, and after 2. Sam. 3. 14. his death (being betrothed unto her) he desired her of Ishbosheth her brother. jacob agreed with Laban for his wives. And Abraham, (the father Gen. 24. of the faithful) by his servant, entreated Rebeccaes' parents, to give her to wife unto his son Isaac. All which testimonies and examples do plainly prove the great interest, power, and authority that parents have in bestowing their children, and that their consent added to the six former points, whereof we have spoken, doth make for so sure a Contract, as cannot be loosed and untied by any authority under heaven. For here in this, that saying of Christ, Matth. 19 6. is truly verified: Let no man put asunder that which God hath coupled together: but if this, or any of the former be omitted, the Contract may be broken and disannulled. And lest we should be ignorant or forget what those errors are, which disavow and lawfully frustrate a Contract. These they be: 1. First, if there be only a naked show of a promise, and yet no promise indeed. 2. Secondly, if any other thing be promised then Marriage. 3. Thirdly, if the promise be convinced to be mere hypocritical or forced. 4. Fourthly, if one of the parties alone do promise, and not both. 5. Fifthly, ifit were wade between other creatures, or between more than one man and one woman. 6. Sixthly, if the persons contracted, or either of them be altogether unfit for marriage. 7. Seventhly, if either of them be formerly betrothed, or have committed adultery after the Contract, or be allied, or ofkinne, or for any other cause not at liberty to marry. 8. Eightly, if there lack the consent of the parents. If all or any of these be undoubtedly known, and clearly proved, they do jointly and severally frustrate or nullify the Contract, so as the Magistrate may lawfully dissolve the same, and set the parties at liberty. But contrarily, if all these concur and accord, the Contract is as inviolable as marriage itself: neither can the parties be set at liberty by themselves, or by any power whatsoever, because this Contract and every parcel thereof is in the Lord: which being a sacred ordinance of God, as it cannot but have special use and fruit among his Saints; so now it is time to declare and teach the same. First therefore it serveth as a strong bridle to pull back the force and headiness of carnal, natural, and brutish lust. For if this Contract be holily and dutifully kept, according to the former doctrine, it would never come to pass that any person, man or woman, should abuse their bodies suddenly or hastily upon every instigation oflust, (like brute beasts) but would willingly, in all modesty and sobriety, take sufficient time of deliberation for the making and accomplishing of this necessary and holy Contract, which is ordained to this end, that men might have sufficient time of deliberation to learn all the uses and abuses, all the commodities and incommodities, all the comforts and discomforts; with all the duties & breaches of duties, that can befall in the honourable estate of marriage. 2 Secondly, it serveth to discover betimes, and in good season, all sorts of impediments & lets that may or aught to hinder the marriage that is promised. Hence came that ancient and most excellent custom of ask the banes of Matrimony thrice, or three several days, to the end that every material defect might be learned in time when it might be remedied, rather than after marriage accomplished, when it is remediless. 3 Thirdly, it serveth for the keeping and preservation of honest chastity; seeing by this means, not only former promises and contracts, but also fornications (if any have been) and adulteries, may be descried and discerned. For after joseph was contracted, before he was married, his wife was found to be with child; though without ill demeanour on her part, yet it made joseph so afraid, that he had intended in his heart privately to relinquish & forsake her, and had so done indeed, had not God's Angel commanded the contrary. Nevertheless, it was the Contract that discovered this truth, and so preserved Mary's virginity, that the Scripture might be fulfilled, which saith, A Virgin shall conceive, etc. If this were not, men might upon knowledge or ignorance make two several contracts with several persons, and commit fornication and adultery with other men's wives, either betrothed or married, and so lose their honesty and chastity, to their great infamy and hindrance. 4 Last of all, it serveth to condemn and avoid all private Contracts and secret marriages: and contrarily, to justify and grace the honourable estate of Marriage, as well in the beginning as in the end thereof, that all things touching the same might be begun, continued and finished in the Lord, according to his commandment, that his promised blessings might ensue upon it accordingly. This being done, the parents and parties are to be charged in the name of God, as they will answer at the day of judgement; plainly to bewray and declare if they know any of the foresaid impediments in themselves, or in their children, for which this Contract ought not to be made. If they say they know none, or if they declare none; then the consent of the parents is to be demanded; which if they yield, than the consent of the parties is also to be required. And so the parties are to be betrothed and affianced in these words, or such like; 1. N. do willingly promise to marry thee N. if God will, and I live, whensoever our parents shall think good and meet: till such time I take thee for my only betrothed wife; and thereto plight thee my troth. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the holy Ghost: So be it. The same is to be done by the woman, the name only changed; and all in the presence of parents, kinsfolks and friends. After this the parents are to be admonished, to set and appoint the day of marriage, neither too near nor too far off, but to appoint a competent space of time, that it may be sufficient for the learning and trial of all lets and impediments whereby promised marriage might be hindered, and yet give no occasion by reason of the length thereof, to provoke the parties to incontinency. In the mean time the parties affianced, are to be admonished to abstain from the use of marriage, and to behave themselves wisely, chastely, lovingly, and soberly, till the day appointed do come. And so with a Psalm and prayer to cóclude the holy action. Now that there should be a competent space between the time of the Contract and the day of marriage, it is very necessary for these causes. 1. That there might be some preparation for the things pertaining to house-keeping, between that time and the celebrating of marriage; but this is not a chief cause. 2. Because the Lord would by this means make a difference betwixt brute beasts & men, and betwixt the profane and his children: for they even as beasts do after a beastlike manner, being led by a natural 〈◊〉 and motion, come together: but God will have this difference, whereby his children should 〈◊〉 severed from that brutish manner, in that they should have a certain distance of time between the knitting of affection, and enjoying one of another, and a more near joining of one unto another. 3. That they should in that time think on the causes why they are to marry, and the duties of marriage. For many enter thereinto not considering at all of the great duties belonging to them in the same, nor thinking of the troubles and afflictions that follow marriage. But the Lord would have these things thought on, and a consideration to be had, both of the causes of marriage and the duties to be performed, and the troubles to be undergone. A good and careful householder so ordereth and frameth his household, as it may manifestly appear, that it is indeed the house of a faithful Christian, and that he himself is a Pastor over his family, that he instructeth it diligently in the fear of God, and keepeth it in good and godly discipline by continual exercise of godliness. So that in his house you shall find the chaste wife, the shamefaced, plain and modest wife, decked without as she is within: no painted nor marked thing, rendering true obedience to her husband, and having a careful eye upon her family, servants and children: the master, father, and husband, the children and servants, every one likewise in his degree, employing himself sincerely in his duty and office, approving his doings as before God. Now, like as in the mind there are such virtues as we have before spoken of: so are 〈◊〉 Froward wicked qualities of the mind. 1. Cor. 5. 10. 11 & 6. 9 Gal. 5. 19 20. 21. 2. Tim. 3. 2. 3. 4. 5. in it also noisome wicked vices and detractions, as ungodliness, despising of God's word, unbelief, idolatry, superstition, ignorance, churlishness, lying, falsehood, hypocrisy, unrighteousness, swearing, backbiting, distemperance, drunkenness, gluttony, covetousness, unchastity, unshame fastness, misnourture, rashness, furiousness, wantonness, pride, presumption, vainglory, childing, brawling, and unhandsomeness. Who so now chooseth him a wife, or the a husband, that is infected and tangled with such noisome vices, he seeketh not a spouse, 〈◊〉 she a husband, for a right, peaceable, good, honest, and Christian life: but an hell, a painfulness, and destruction of all expedient, quiet, and virtuous living: but specially, there is little good to be hoped for of him or her, whereas ungodliness and contempt of the word remaineth. For like as the fear of God draweth the whole garland of virtues with it: so ungodliness and despising of God's word, bring all vice and abominations; yea, and shutteth up the way to amendment. When these points and rules are duly and warily observed on either part, they may join together, and say as Laban and Bethuel said, This cometh of the Lord, therefore we will not speak against it. Oh how happy are those in whom faith, love, and godliness are married together, before they marry themselves? For none of these carnal, cloudy, and whining marriages can say, that godliness was invited and bidden to the bridal: and therefore the blessings which are promised to godliness do fly from them. 2 The riches of the body. After the riches of the mind, do the riches of the body follow next: of which sort is a comely, beautiful, or wellfavoured body, health, a convenient age, etc. A beautiful body is such a one as is of right form and shape, Beauty. meet, and of strength to bear children, and govern an house; even such a one as both the man and woman can find in their hearts unfeignedly to love above all other, and to be content withal, etc. As concerning the beauty or comeliness of the body (where there is else no good property or quality beside) Solomon saith, Prou. 31. 30. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vanity: but the woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. And Prou. 11. 22. As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout: so is a fair woman which lacketh discretion: or is of uncomely behaviour, and hath not wit nor government to behave herself. For beauty is a frail gift and a slippery, and more profitable to those that behold it, then to those that have it. The beautiful woman can take no great pleasure in beauty, but a little as it were in a glass, and yet incontinently she forgetteth that she beheld and saw: and yet it is many times both to herself and to them that behold her beauty, a provocation to much evil. She that is fair waxeth proud of it, and he that doth behold her becometh subject unto filthy love. But in the mind (which is judged to be the man) consist the true lineaments and properties of fairness, which entice and provoke spiritual and heavenly love, being mixed with nothing that is shameful, either to be done or spoken. And therefore there is no man so far without wit, that had not rather have her which is foul and hard favoured, but yet is honest and virtuous, then to have her which is fair and unhonest, and also irreligious. Happy, and twice happy is that man and that woman that are coupled in marriage with a godly and virtuous mate and bedfellow; they are doubtless greatly blessed of God. For house and riches are the inheritance of the fathers, but a prudent wife cometh of the Lord. They therefore are not well in their wits, but greatly deceive themselves, that make choycc of wives or husbands, having regard only to their stature, comeliness of personage, or to their beauty, and esteem not more the riches of the mind. Health also must be considered in their choice, lest otherwise great inconveniences come thereby, and lest the whole house be poy soned and infected. But we speak here of contagious sicknesses, and not of such common infirmities and usual diseases, that both men and women are subject unto. As of madness, frenzy, french pocks, or such like: which every wise man and woman doth utterly detest. Nevertheless, where any married parties are now together, and be visited with any such diseases, they must one comfort and suffer with the other, as they are now one body, etc. To have temporal preferments, is to be borne of noble parents, or to come of a worshipful stock, to have lands, livings, riches, great offices, gains, or occupyings, and such like. But the chiefest nobility, and most worthy of commendation, is indeed to be noble in virtues, in good works, manners and conditions. But to be borne of gentility, and to use and behave himself ungently, is even as much as to shame himself and his kindred. Such therefore as purpose to marry, ought carefully to foresee and look to this matter; lest being too greedy of honour, worship or wealth and intending to have the gold, they catch the hot coals, & burn themselves without recovery: for a man may buy gold too Choose a wife for virtue only. Pro. 19 14. dear (as we usually say.) For temporal goods sake, the matter miscarieth, and is in danger. There is sometimes great wealth, but with little honesty, and with less good conscience it is gathered together. And with the same riches will not continue always, prosperity, peace and quietness. Many so trust to their wealth, as that they will not frame themselves to any lawful calling, neither will they learn any. Therefore also can they do nothing to profit their country, and the commonwealth, but live jolly and daintily, and with pride, riot, excess, and dishonesty, do quickly waste that which hath been long in gathering together. Now when there is always taking from the heap, and nothing laid thereto, it wasteth away in process of time, how great soever it hath been: then followeth poverty, yea an intolerable and unpatient poverty: for they that now lavish and spend prodigally altogether, have had no necessity hitherto, but flowed in all wealth; therefore after such a Sunshine, there cometh ever an extreme heat, and thenceforth begin they to warm themselves at the bare pans, and to spare when all is spent. Such then as in their choice, look to the multitude of goods, and regard not how they were gotten, and whence they came, have customably such smoky hats set upon their heads, that all the water in the river cannot wash away the corruption thereof. For goods without God, honesty, and good conscience, are deadly poison, and the bodily 〈◊〉 himself. Yea, goods and riches in the hand of an undiscreet and ignorant man, are as a sharp knife in the hand of a child, that doth no good therewith, but wound and hurt himself. Wherefore every man and every woman in their election ought to have more respect to virtue, godliness, discretion, & knowledge, then to riches. Moreover, an hand that is occupied, and winneth, and getteth his living, godly, Christianly, and honestly, doth far excel any riches that are 〈◊〉. For although the world esteem them happy, which live in wealth, ease, and idleness: yet the holy Ghost approveth and alloweth them best that live of the mean profit of their labours. Psal. 128. 1. 2. And this also is a very necessary point to be observed, that the man choose such a woman, and the woman such a man, as that there be equality betwixt them, both in blood and estate. For by how much the greater and straighter Seek no match in marriage, above thy 〈◊〉. Equality in marriage to be respected. the conjunction is of the husband and the wife, so much the more ought every one to provide to be indifferently matched. And truly this equality of marriage, is in two special things to be considered; to wit, estate, and age. For as two horses, or two oxen of unequal 〈◊〉, cannot be coupled under oneself same yoke: so a noble-woman, matching with a man of base estate: or contrarily, a gentleman with a beggar, cannot be consorted, and well matched under the bands of wedlock. But yet when it happeneth that a man marrieth a woman of so high a birth, he ought (not forgetting that he is her husband) more to honour and esteem of her, then of his equal, or of one of meaner parentage, and not only to account her his-companion in love, and in his life, but (in diverse actions of public appearance) to hold her his superior: which honour is not yet accompanied with reverence, as is that which for manners sake we are wont to do to others. And she ought to consider, that no distinction or difference of birth and nobility can be so great, but that the league which both God's ordinance and nature hath ordained betwixt men and women far exceedeth it: for by nature woman was made man's subject. But if a man shall take to wife an inferior or mean-woman, he also ought to weigh, that matrimony maketh equal many differences: and further, that he hath not taken her for a slave or servant, but for a fellow and companion of his life. And seeing that election and choice, is nothing else, but to take Of the choice of a wise. a thing meet and convenient, to the end it is prepared for: therefore every one that must choose, aught to regard the end, & to know what thing is convenient for it. So that it is needful that he be wise and discreet, or else he cannot dispose it, nor perceive what thing is convenient for it. Therefore, if a man would advisedly consider, that he is to live with his wife continually, and she with him, he would then be very circumspect in the choice of her; which choice maketh either very much for his felicity and comfort, or else for his great misery and discomfort. For by how much the more a thing is united and knit unto man, so much the more it may either help him, if it be good, or hinder him if it be evil. Those damages and hurts which are inwardly in the body, are worse than those which are without the body: and those of the soul, than those of the body: and likewise men do judge of those things which are called good. But peradventure it may seem unto some, that these 〈◊〉 are not universally true. For unto some the loss of their goods, is more than the loss of their health. But this thing doth not arise nor happen of the goods or money itself, but because some man doth persuade himself, that to lose his goods, is a thing intolletable. And yet for all that, goods are not of more estimation than is life or health, but it is a man's affection that doth rule in this thing: and therefore it seemeth less to some, to be driven out of a kingdom, then to other some to lose a small portion of their possessions. Some will revenge a word most cruelly; and some other well beaten and buffeted, will not revenge it at all. All these things do proceed and come of the soul, which is most in wardly joined and knit unto a man, and hath more power in him then the body. If it be then of so great importance, what 〈◊〉 of friend thou have, to live commodiously or incommodiously withal; which shall none otherwise dwell, or be in the selfsame chamber, bed, or house with thee, but that thou mayest shake him off at thy pleasure? how much more oughtest thou to take heed when thou choosest thee a wife, which must be continually conversant with thee, at thy table, in thy chamber, in bed, in thy secrets and finally, in thy heart and breast? If thou go from home, thou dost commit thy house, thy family, thy goods, and thy children (of all other things the most pleasant) unto her; she is the last that leaveth thee at thy departing, and the first that receiveth thee at thy returning: thou departest from her with sweet embracements and kisses; and with sweet kisses and embracements she receiveth thee at thy return home: unto her thou disclosest thy joy and heaviness. So that it is an heavenly life to be conversant and in company with those that a man delighteth in, and loveth. But it is a calamity infernal, to be bound and forced to see those things that a man doth greatly hate and abhor, or to be in company with those that a man would not be withal, and yet cannot be separated, nor depart from them. Hereof cometh (as we do see in some marriages) so great ruins, so wicked and vile deeds, as maims, and murders, committed by such desperate persons, as are loath to keep, and yet cannot lawfully refuse, nor leave them. Therefore young folks ought not to be too rash and hasty in their choice, but to have the good advice and direction of their parents and trusty friends in this behalf, who have better judgement, and are more free from the motions of all affections, than they are. And they must take heed, lest following the light and corrupt judgement of their own affections and minds, they change not a short delectation and pleasure, into a continual sorrow 〈◊〉 repentance. For we learn by great and continual use and experience of things, that the secret contracts made between those that be young, do seldom prosper, whereas chose, those marriages that are made and established by the advice of wise and religious parents, do prosper well. But especially, and before all things, such as A good wife is above all things to be craved of God by prayer. purpose to marry, must faithfully with ferventness, and steadfast belief, (without ceasing) make their intetcession and prayer unto God, to whom all hearts are open and known, that he would not suffer them to go amiss, but (as a tender father) help and direct them, to make a right choice; so as they may live honestly, and prosperously, as good Christians ought, to his glory, and their own comfort. For this purpose, there is a notable example of Eleazar, Abraham's servant, who being sent to get, and make choice of a wife for Isaac his master's son, beginneth his matter with prayer. Gen. 24. 12. etc. So did Isaac also, as it appeareth in the same Chapter, verse 60. When any have determined with themselves to marry, and have used all diligence thereto required, they must desire of God, by humble and earnest prayer, good and prosperous success, in whose hand and power it is to give it; so doubtless he will effect it, if they above all other things shall have an undoubted hope and confidence in him, For if they, after they have settled themselves, and have satisfied their appetites, shall then resort unto God by prayer, desiring him that they may obtain the thing that they most desire: it appeareth that they would make him the minister of their voluptuous desires and pleasures, and so doing, their vows and prayers become most manifest blasphemy. And therefore a man should not come unto marriage as unto a profane thing, with a loose and unprepared heart, but with a quiet, and well purged mind, as to a thing most sacred and holy. For Matrimony doth not consist only in the conjunction of the body, neither yet in dancing, nor banqueting, proceeding and brought unto us with many other things from the Gentiles: but it should rather beseem Christians, most studiously to pray unto God, that so weighty a thing as Matrimony is, might have good and prosperous success. For Matrimony is a thing sanctified of God, the which willeth the matrimonial embracements to be chaste, the bed to be undefiled, and Heb. 13. 4. their progeny unspotted: and it is after the mind of S. Paul, a sign of the great mystery wherewith Christ doth in dissolubly unite himself unto his Church. Therefore thou oughtest so Ephes. 5. 25. 26. 27. much as shall lie in thee, to lift up thy mind, and to remember how great and worthy an image thou dost represent; and that thy wife shall be unto thee as the Church, and thou unto her as Christ; therefore thou shouldest show thyself unto her, as Christ showed himself unto his Church. The love of Christ unto his Church is incredible: and thy love also to thy wife ought to be most effectual. Society, and to live together, is the most surest and strongest knot to knit, and join amity and love among men, and beasts themselves. There can be no greater society or company than is between a man and his wife; whose house, whose goods, whose chamber, etc. is common, their children are common, and they themselves partakers of all good and evil success, of prosperity and adversity: the which society and fellowship, were sufficient to stir and provoke him that loveth not his wife, to love and benevolence. And what company or love shall a man look to have of him that loveth not his wife? There are, that in love and amity look for gain, as the vile Epicures do, unworthy to be beloved, men which love themselves, and not their friends. And if we have regard unto commodity and profit, there is nothing that giveth so much as doth a good wife, no not horses, oxen, servants or farms: for a man's wife is the fellow and comforter of all care and thoughts, and doth more faithful and true service unto him, than either maid-servant or manservant, which do serve men for fear, or else for wages: but thy wife will be led only by love, and therefore she doth every thing better than all other. And this doth God declare, saying: Let us make Adam as helper like unto himself: By the helper, is signified the utility and profit of the service, and by the similitude and likeness are signified love and helpfulness. For a servant and he that is hired are insufficient to supply that place; there can neither be so much love, and ability to minister help and comfort to a man, as will be found in a faithful wife. The child is part of the father, and through a natural pity, they love each other: but yet the wife is more annexed and joined to her husband. The father doth labour and taketh pain for his children, but the children seldom labour or take pains for their fathers, and oftentimes are sent to inhabit and dwell in other men's houses, whereby in a manner it appeareth, that their straight and fast society doth dissolve and break: but the wife clean contrary, doth continually take pains for her husband, who may (as long as she liveth) neither change house nor bed. If commodity and prosit be looked for, no commodity excelleth this: if thou shalt love thy wife, thou shalt live most pleasantly, if not, thy life will be most miserable and wretched. For there is nothing so sharp nor so bitter, as to hate the thing that doth favour and love thee, nor any thing more happy, then to love him that loveth thee. Therefore love, that thou mayest be loved. Now we will in few words show the occasions of Wedlock, why and wherefore it was ordained, and for what purpose it should be contracted; that every man and woman may the better understand to what thing they consent, when either of them granteth to marry the other. Doubtless it cannot otherwise be, but that marriage, which was ordained of such an excellent author, as of God himself, and in such a worthy place as Paradise, and of such an ancient time, as in state of Adam and Eve's innocence, and after such a notable order, must likewise have special causes for the ordinance of it. Therefore the holy Scripture doth declare Three causes of marriage. chiefly three causes thereof. The first is, the procreation, begetting, and bringing up of children, Gen. 1. 27. 28. & 9 1. For in the children do parents live (after a sort) even after death. And, if they be well and virtuously brought up, God is greatly honoured by them, the commonwealth is advanced: yea, their parents and all other fare the better for them. For they are their parent's comfort next unto God: their joy, staff, and upholding of their age: and therefore parents ought to begin betimes to plant virtue in their children's breasts: for late sowing bringeth sometimes a late, but never an apt harvest: young branches will bow as a man will have them, but old trees will sooner break than bow, etc. But more of this shall be said after, in the duty of Parents. Although marriage be an holy and sanctified ordinance, yet none may use the benefit of it without some acknowledgement of original Psal. 51. 5. sin, in that uncleanness may be practised therein, which should cause God's children to use this means with as much chastity as may be, and husband and wise to keep themselves together in the fear of God, and in all modesty and sobriety. If then in marriage itself there be such mischiefs, what hellish mischief is there in those lusts, which are not expressed with these considerations? So that marriage is not a mad and dissolute estate, to give liberty to their wives in uncleanness, nor wives to consent with their husbands in impurity, by immoderate, intemperate, or excessive lust. Many think they cannot sin in this behalf if they pass not their own wives: but they may make their marriage polluted and defiled, if they use it without prayer and soberness, etc. 1. Tim 4. 4. 5. Therefore the husband is to forbear the company of his wife, when it is with her, as it is common to women, etc. Ezechiel, 18. 6. Leviticus 18. 19 24. 22 and 19 18. This was one of the sins for which the Lord rooted out the Canaanites out of their land. The second occasion why marriage was ordained, was, that the wife might be a lawful remedy The second cause. wedlock lawful for such as have not the gift of chastity. to avoid whoredom, fornication, and all filthy unclean lusts, 1. Cor. 7. 2. 3. etc. Touching this point, I will say no more: for it is handled at large by others already, and I have elsewhere sufficiently discoursed of it. The third and last cause was, for man's commodity, The third cause. to the end to avoid the inconvenience of solitariness, that the one may help & comfort the other, in sickness, in affliction, and in all household cares and trouble, as education of children, and keeping the family in order. For this cause old men and old women may lawfully marry. So that a wife is called by God himself, an helper, and not an impediment, or a necessary evil, as some unadvisedly do say: This is often found most true, that such as are contemners of marriage, are most offenders against marriage, and live most unchastly. and as other some say, It is better to bury a wife, then to marry one: again, if we could be without women, we should be without great troubles. These and such like sayings, tending to the dispraise of women, some maliciously and undiseretly do vomit out, contrary to the mind of the holy Ghost, who saith, that she was ordained as a helper, and not a hinderer. And if they be otherwise, it is for the most part, through the fault, and want of discrerion, and lack of good government in the husband. For married folks, for two eyes have four: and for two hands as many more: which being joined together, they may the more easily dispatch their handy business, and household affairs. For like as a man having one hand or one foot, if by any means he get himself an other, may thereby the more easily lay hold on what he listeth, or go whither he will: even so, he that hath married a wife, shall more easily enjoy the healthful pleasures, and profitable commodities of this present life. For in trouble, the one is a comfort to the other: in adversity, the one a refreshing unto the other: yea, and in all their life, the one is a help and succour to the other. Most true it is, that women are as men are, reasonable creatures, and have flexible wits both to good and evil, the which with use, discretion, and good counsel, may be altered and turned. And although there be some evil and lewd women, yet that doth no more prove the malice of their nature, then of men. And therefore the more ridiculous and foolish are they, that have inveighed against the whole sex for a few evil: and have not with like fury, vituperated and dispraised all mankind, because part of them are thieves, murderers, and such like wicked livers. But the marriage and company of the husband and wife, is made amiable, sweet, and comfortable by these five means: by godliness, virtue, 〈◊〉 forbearing, mutual love, and by dut 〈◊〉 performed busily and godlily on both sides. 1. Godliness of right holdeth the chief place: for there is no stable and steadfast friendship, unless it have his beginning from God; and therefore must godliness needs shine before the rest. For when couples have determined to obey God, all things afterwards become more easy. 2. Virtue and honest conditions breed mutual delight between man and wife. For when virtue is exercised, it maketh conversation of living more amiable. 3 Mutual forbearing, whereby we take in good worth one another's conditions and faults is very needful. For in this weakness of nature, there happens many 'scapes, which will breed strife, if they be not covered by mutual forbearing. 4. Mutual love, having his beginning of godliness and true virtue, maketh the husband and wife not to be too sharp-sighted, in spying into one another's favits: but that many things either they mark not, or if they mark them, they cover them with love. For love covereth a multitude of sins. 1. Peter, 4. 8. Prou. 10. 12. 5. Duty performed godlily, caresully, and cheerfully on both sides, maketh the marriage-yoke light and sweet. For when man and wife mark one another, and find like heedfulness and buxomness in their duty, both their company is made more pleasant, and they are the more stirred up on both sides to render dutifulness, that the one may requite the otheralike. Where these five duties be not, the company of their life is both loath some and bitter, or rather more sharp than death. Therefore, the godly couples must do their endeavour that these virtues may be seen in their life continually for ever. Now we will (through God's assistance) say something concerning the three several points contained in this duty, and mentioned in the beginning hereof, and so end this duty. 21. Pet. 2. 7. By honour is meant that the husband is to sustain and relieve the wants of his wife, to support, uphold, & bear with her infirmities, as the weaker vessel. 1 The first whereof is, that the husband must live with his wife according to knowledge. This point of doctrine is most plainly proved by the Apostle Peter, where he saith a Ye husbands, dwell with your wives, as men of knowledge; giving honour unto the woman, as unto the weaker vessel, even as they which are heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not interrupted. Whereby he teacheth the husband his duty, to wit, that the more understanding and wisdom God hath endued him with, the more wisely and circumspectly he ought to behave himself in the bearing those discommodities, which through his wife's weakness, oftentimes cause some jar and dislike one to the other. Nevertheless, though she be by nature weaker than he, yet she is an excellent instrument for him, made for very profitable use: whereupon it followeth, that she is not therefore to be neglected because she is weak, but on the contrary part, she ought to be so much the more cared for. Like as a vessel the weaker it is, the more it is to be favoured and spared, if we will have it to continue: even so a wife, because of her infirmities, is so much the more to be borne withal of her husband, 1. Peter 3. 7. And for so much as the husband and wife are equal, in that which is the chiefest, that is to say, in that gracious and free benefit, whereby they have everlasting life given them, though otherwise I confess unequal, as touching the governance and conversation at home, the wife is not be despised, although she be weak. And besides, all brawlings and chide must be eschewed and cast away, because they hinder prayers, and the whole service of God, whereunto both the husband and the wife are equally Besides the prayers had with their family, they must pray privately. Gen. 25. 21. 1. Cor. 7. 3. 4. 5. called. Also for the more confirmation of this point, the Apostle Paul likewise saith: Let the husband give unto the wife due benevolence, and likewise also the wife unto the husband: The wife hath not power over her own body, but the husband: and likewise also, the husband hath not the power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud not one another, except it be with consent for a time: that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and again come together, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. Which is, as if the Apostle should say, the parties married must with singular affection, entirely love one the other; for that they are each in others power, as touching the body: so that they may not defraud one another; except the one abstain from the other by mutual consent, that they may the better give themselves to prayer: wherein not withstanding they must consider what is expedient; lest by this long breaking off as it were, from marriage, they be stirred up to incontinency. The second point is, that the husband should not be bitter, fierce, or cruel unto his wife: which point is approved by the said Apostle, saying: Husbands love your wives, and be not bitter unto them. Col. 3. 19 First, and above all things, the husband must be circumspect to keep the band of love, and Anger in a husband is a vice. beware that there never spring up the root of bitterness betwixt him and his wife. If at any time there happen to arise any cause The root of bitterness to be weeded out by the spade of patience. of unkindness betwixt them, (as it is impossible always to be free from it) than he must be careful to weed up the same with all lenity, gentleness and patience, and never suffer himself nor his wife to sleep in displeasure. Ephesians, 4. 26. And if he shall have occasion to How & when the husband ought to reprove. speak sharply, and sometimes to reprove; he must beware that he do not the same in the presence of others: but let him keep his words until a convenient time, (which is the point of a wise man) and then utter them in the spirit of meekness, and in the spirit of perfect love: and he must not let sometimes to cover faults, and wink at them, if they be not too great and intolerable. Whatsoever loss or mischance shall happen unto them, let him take it patiently, Faults sometimes must be covered with love. and bear it cheerfully: yea, though the same should come partly through his wife's negligence; yea rather let it be a loving warning to take better heed in time to come, than a cause to sorrow for that which is past, and cannot be holpen. Every wiseman (by his own experience) knoweth, that he is in his life subject to many inconveniences, and that of nature he is prone to displeasure, and ready to take unkindness for every trifle, and especially with his best Not to take unkindness for every trifle friends; yea, soon with his loving wife, who is loathest to displease him. Let him therefore beware of this cankered corruption, and consider that he ought most of all, in love, to bear with his wife, according to Christ's example towards his Church, who gave himself for it, That he might sanctify it, & cleanse it, by the washing of water, through the word: That he might make Ephe. 5. 25. 26 27. 28. 29. it unto himself a glorious Church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing: but that it should be holy, and without blame; so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies: he that loveth his wife, loveth himself. For no man yet ever hated his own flesh, but nourisheth it, and cherisheth it, even as the Lord doth the Church. As if the Apostle had said: The husband's duty is, to love their wives as themselves: of which love, the love of Christ towards his Church is a lively pattern. And The husband is to the wife in God's stead. because many husbands pretend the infirmities of their wives, to excuse their own hardness and cruelty, the Apostle willeth them to mark what manner of Church it was when Christ joined it to himself, and he doth not only not loath all her filth and uncleanness, but ceaseth not to wipe the same a way with his cleanness, until he have wholly purged it, and made it holy. And seeing that every man loveth himself, even of nature: Therefore (saith the Apostle) the husband shall strive against nature, if he love not his wife: which he proveth; first, by the mystical knitting of Christ and the Church together, and then by the ordinance of God: who saith, that the husband and wife are one: that is, not to be divided. The husband is always to remember, that he be not fierce, rigorous, hasty, nor disordered Husband's may 〈◊〉 be rigorous 〈◊〉 their with his wife: for then there will never be unity and concord betwixt them. If the wife do wives, especially when they be new married. Prou. 20. 3. not learn to keep silence, and the husband to have patience, it shall rather be the dwelling of fools, than the house of friends. For where the husband wanteth wisdom to gonerne, and the wife patience to suffer, they shall be forced (it is to be feared) in continuance of time, to part house, or else every day to be jarring and brawling. Every married man ought also to remember The wife is not to be used or entreated as a handmaid or servant, but as a fellow. Prou. 8. 7. & 14 9 &. 15. 5. & 18. 2. & 27. 22. Prou 9 9 & 19 25. Gen 16. 6. this, that either his wife is wise and religious, or else she is foolish and irreligious. If he be matched with a wife that is sottish, foolish, and ignorant of God and his word, it will little avail or profit him to reprehend or chide her: and if he be married to one that is wise and religious, and knoweth her duty out of God's word, than one sharp and discreet word is sufficient: because, if a woman be not corrected by that which is wisely and discretly said, she will never amend by that which is threatened. When the wise shall be inflamed with ire, wrath, malice, or envy, the husband ought to suffer her; and after the heat is somewhat cooled, and the flame quenched, then mildly to admonish her; for if she once begin to lose her shamefastness in the presence of her husband, than it is likely that there will often follow brawlings and quarrels betwixt them. And as the husband ought at all times to shun brawlings and quarrelings with his wife, so much more he ought to avoid the same, when they shall be newly married. For if at the beginning she shall have cause to abhor and hate him, then late or never will she return to love him faithfully. Therefore at the beginning of their marriage, the wise and discreet husband ought to use all good means to win the good liking of his wife towards him: for if than their love be fixed, and truly settled one towards the other, although afterwards they come to some household words and grudge, yet it proceedeth but of some new unkindness, and not of old rooted hatred; and The falling out of lovers is a renewing of love. therefore the sooner remedied. For love and hatred be mortal enemies, and the first of them that taketh place in the heart, there it remaineth a dweller, for the most part, all the days of life: in such wise, that the first love may depart from the person, but yet it will never be forgotten at the heart. But if the wife from the beginning of marriage, do take the heart to loath and abhor her husband, than a miserable life will follow to them both. For although the husband shall have power to force his wife to fear and obey him, yet he shall never have strength to force her to love him. Some husbands do boast themselves to be served, feared, and obeyed in their houses, because the wife that abhorreth doth fear and serve her husband, but she that indeed liketh, doth love him, and cherish him. As the wife ought with great care to endeavour, and by all good means to labour to be in favour and grace with her husband: so likewise the husband ought to fear to be in disgrace and disliking with his wife: for if she do once determine to fix and settle her eyes and liking upon another, than many inconveniences will ensue and follow. The husband ought not to be satisfied with the use of his wife's body, but in that he hath also the possession of her will and affections: for it sufficeth not that they be married, but that they be well married, and live Christianly together, and be very well contented. And therefore the husband that is not beloved of his wife, holdeth his goods in danger, his house in suspicion, his credit in balance, and also sometimes his life in peril: because it is 〈◊〉 to believe that she desireth not long life unto her husband, with whom she passeth a time so tedious and irksome. And if any unkindness or displeafure should happen to be at any time betwixt the husband and the wife, yet neither of them ought to impart, or to make it known unto any one of their neighbours: for if they be such as wish them evil, they will rejoice at it, and if they be such as wish them well, than they minister matter whereof to talk. That husband that is matched and doth That man is miserable that is married unto a foolish woman. encounter with a wife that is a dizzard, a fool, a babbler, light ofbehaviour, a glutton, a chider, slothful, a gadder abroad, untractable, jealous, or dissolute, &c: it were better for him to be a slave to some honest man, than a husband to such a wife. The best rule that a man may hold and practise with his wife, to guard and govern her, is to admonish her often, and to give her good instructions, to reprehend her seldom, never to lay violent hands on her, but if she be good and dutiful, to favour her, to the end she may continue so; and if she be shrewish and way ward, mildly to suffer her, to the end that she wax not worse. But some husbands be of so sour a nature, and so unpleasant in their behaviour, that they can hardly be loved, no not of their wives; their countenance is so lowering, their company so currish, that they seem angry, even when they are best pleased; they cannot speak fair; scarce will they laugh, when their wives laugh upon them: a man would say, they were borne in an angry hour. This is also a duty (not to be forgotten,) namely, that 〈◊〉 be diligent and careful Husband's must provide things necessary for the house. to make provision for their houses; to clothe their wives decently, to bring up their children virtuously; and to pay their servants duly; because that in voluntary matters men may be A man's house will continue by provision before hand, and by order in his expenses negligent, but the necessities of the house do neither suffer negligence nor forgetfulness. The duty of the husband is to get goods: and of the wife to gather them together, and save them. The duty of the husband is to travel abroad 1. Tim. 5. 8. to seek living: and the wife's duty is to keep the house. The duty of the husband is to But where disorder is in a house, it cannot endure. get money and provision: and of the wives, not vainly to spend it. The duty of the husband is to deal with many men: and of the wife to talk with few. The duty of the husband is, to be intermeddling: and of the wife, to be solitary and withdrawn. The duty of the man is, to be skilful in talk: and of the wife to boast of silence. The duty of the husband is, to be a giver; and of the wife to be a saver. The duty of Spare in time, and spend in time, for sparing is a rich purse.. the man is, to apparel himself as he may; and of the woman, as it becometh her. The duty of the husband is, to be Lord of all: and of the wife, to give account of all. The duty of the husband is, to dispatch all things without door; and of the wife, to oversee and give order for all things within the house. Now, where the husband and wife performeth these duties in their house, we may call it a College of quietness: The house wherein these are neglected, we may term it a hell. It is to be noted, and noted again, that as the provision of household dependeth only The honour of the husband dependeth on the wife. on the husband: even so the honour of all dependeth only of the woman: in such sort, that there is no honour within the house, longer than a man's wife is honourable. And therefore the Apostle calleth the woman, The glory of the man. But here it must be noted and remembered, 1. Cor. 11. 7. that we do not entitle honourable to such, as be only beautiful, comely of face, of gentility, of comely personage, and a good huswife: but only to her that is virtuous, honest of life, temperate, and advised in her speech. 3. The last point is, that the husband love, The third point. cherish, and nourish his wife, even as his own body, and as Christ loved his Church, and gave himself for it, to sanctify it. And this point is plainly proved by the Apostle Paul, as is sufficiently declared in the second point. There are few husbands or wives that know in truth how they should love one the other. If a man love his wife only for these respects, because she is rich, beautiful, noble, or because she contenteth and pleaseth him after the sensual appetite of the flesh, and for such like causes; that is no true love before God: for such love may be among harlots and whores, yea among bruit beasts. But a Christian husband Can. 4. 9 10. 1. Cor 9 5. 1. Pet. 3 7. must love his wife, chiefly, because she is his sister in the 〈◊〉 of the sound and Christian religion 〈◊〉 so an inheritor with him of the kingdom of heaven. And he must also love her for her virtues, as for her shamefastness, modesty, chastity, diligence, patience, faithfulness, temperance, secrecy, obedience, and such like Christian qualities and graces of God: yea, although she be but hard favoured, & of poor parentage. But as we would that the man when he loveth, should remember his superiority, so we would that when he ruleth, he neither forget to love, nor to temper his love with gravity. And when he doth think himself to be the head and the soul, and the woman (as it were) the flesh and the body, he ought in like manner to remember, that she is his fellow, and companion of his goods and labours, and that their children be common between them, bone of the bones, and flesh of the flesh of man. And thus there shall be in wedlock, a certain sweet and pleasant conversation, without the which it is no marriage, but a prison, a hatred, and a perpetual torment of the mind. So that the husband must let his wife perceive and know, that for the good opinion that he hath of her, he doth love her simply, and faithfully, and not for any utility or pleasure. For who so doth not perceive that he is beloved for his own sake, will not lightly do the same to another: for the thing that is loved, loveth again. If money or nobility could perceive and understand that they were beloved, they would, if they had any feeling at all of love, requite it with love: but when the soul is loved, in as much as it may love, it giveth love for love, and loveth again. The breaker of horses, that doth use to ride and place them, doth handle the rough and sturdy colt, with all craft, rigour, and fierceness that may be: but with the colt that is more tractable, he taketh not so great pains. A sharp and shrewd wife must be pleased and mitigated with love, and ruled with authority: and the more gently thou dost use and show thyself unto her that is meek and honest, the more benign and meek thou shalt find her. But she that is noble, and of a stout mind and stomach, the less thou dost look to be honoured, the more she will obey and honour thee. But yet the wise husband shall never set himself so far in love, that he forget that he is a man, the ruler and governor of the house, and ofhi wife, and that he is set (as it were) in a station to watch, and diligently to take heed what is done in his house, and to see who goeth 1. Cor. 11. 3. Ephes. 3. 23. out and in. And although the husband by God's ordinance, be the head over his wife, yet he may not abuse or despise her, but most lovingly defend and keep her from all injuries, and all evils as his own body. For like as the head 〈◊〉 and heareth for the whole body, ruleth and guideth the body, and giveth it strength of life: or as Christ doth defend, teach and preserve his Church, and is the Saviour, comfort, eye, heart, wisdom, and guide thereof: even so must the husband be head unto his wife, in like manner to show her like kindness, and after the same fashion to guide her, and rule her with discretion, for her good and preservation, and not with force and wilfulness to entreat her, but to be her defender, instructor, teacher, and comfort. So that when the husband hath obtained that his wife doth truly and heartily love him, there shall then need neither precepts, nor laws: for love shall teach her more things, and more effectually, than all the precepts of all the Philosophers. He ought therefore to endeavour, and more force himself, that his wife may love him, then that she may fear him. When his wife shall offend or displease him, he may nor hate her or quarrel with her, but patiently and mildly admonish her: For no man ever hated (saith the Apostle) his own body, but Ephes. 5. 28. 29 cherisheth it, and maketh much of it. So then he that loveth his wife, loveth himself: for thereby he enjoyeth peace and comfort, and help to himself in all his affairs: therefore in the same verse Paul counselleth husbands to love their wives, as their bodies. And after in the 33. verse, as though it were too little to love them as their bodies, he saith: Let every one love his wife as himself: that is, as his body and soul too. For if God commanded men to love their neighbours as themselves, much more are they bound to love their wives as themselves, which are their next neighbours. As Elkanah did not love his wife less for her barrenness, but said: Am not I better unto thee then ten sons? as 1. Sam. 1. 8. though he favoured her more, for that which she thought herself despised: so a good husband will not take occasion to love his wife less for her infirmities, but comfort her more for them, as this man did, that she may bear with his infirmities too. And so the one helping to bear the others burden, they shall Gal. 6. 2. the better fulfil the law of Christ. For as in a City, there is nothing more unequal than that every man should be like equal: so it is not convenient, that in one house every man should be like and equal together. There is no equality in that city where the private man is equal with the Magistrate, the people with the Senate, or the servant with the master, but rather a confusion of all offices and authority. The husband and the wife are Lords of the house: for unto them the Lord said, Be ye Lords over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the Gen. 1. 28. heaven, and over every beast that moveth upon the earth. And the selfsame Creator said, that the woman should be an helper unto the man. Therefore the husband without any exception, is master Gen. 2. 18. over all the house, and hath more to do in his house with his own domestical affairs, than the magistrate. The wife is ruler over all other things, but yet under her husband. There are certain things in the house that only do appertain to the authority of the husband, wherewith it were a reproach for the wife, without the consent of her husband, to meddle: as to receive strangers, or to marry her daughter. But there are other things, in the which the husband giveth over his right unto his wife: as to rule and govern her maidens: to see to those things that belong unto the kitchen, and to huswiferie, and to their household stuff. Other mean things, as to buy and sell certain necessary things, may be ordered after the wit, wisdom, and fidelity of the woman. It cannot well be rehearsed, how many virtues & profits, the mutual concord and love of man and wife doth bring to great things, both at home and abroad, nor how many losses and incommodities do grow of the dissension and discord between them. For the household, when their master and their mistress, or dame, are at debate, can no otherwise be in quiet and at rest, than a City whose rulers agree not, but when it seeth them in concord and quietness, than it rejoiceth, trusting that they will be even so unto them, as it perceiveth them to be among themselves. Wherein surely they are not deceived, for if the man and his wife do lovingly and gently support and entreat one another, they learn not to disdain, or for every light fault to be angry with their servants, or yet for any household words to be vexed or angry one with the other, but they set aside all hasty and cruel words and correction, with all other things that issue and proceed of a disdainful and a furious mind. And the servants are not only merry therefore, but also they do their service the more obediently and cheerfully, showing reverence unto the authority that proceedeth and increaseth of quietness and concord. For the husband doth defend his wife's estimation, with love and benevolence: and the wife her husband with honour and obedience. So that unity and concord, causeth them to be accounted wise, honest, and virtuous; and they must needs be good, seeing they have loved so long together. But there can be no long amity or friendship, but between those that are good, who do suffer and devour up those things for the which other men leave and forsake amity, and break off charity. Neither doth there grow of any other thing so great reverence and honour, as of the opinion and estimation of another man's goodness and wisdom: the which reverence is not only honoured within the doors, but also shineth and extendeth itself into the City; so that he is taken for an honest man, and accounted to be loving and gentle, seeing that he loveth his wife so constantly: and also he is reputed for a wise man, considering that he can so moderately 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 difficult and hard matters: and he is reckoned worthy to rule a commonwealth, that with such wisdom, discretion, and judgement, doth rule and govern his own house; and that he may easily conserve and keep his Citizens in peace and concord, that hath so well established the same in his own house and family. And on the other side, none will think or believe, that he is able to be a ruler, or to keep peace & quietness in the town or City, who cannot live peaceably in his own house, where he is not only a ruler, but as it were a little King, and Lord of all. And in matrimonial debate and discord, the man is more to be blamed then is the woman, because that he being the chief ruler and head, doth not purge and remedy her of that vice the which engendered that discord, or else patiently bear and suffer the same. For the blame of all discord is commonly laid on him that is chief, because he would not moderate nor stay the thing to come to such a strife and discord, or else because he was not able to do it. In the first, there appeareth manifest malice, in the second impatience and weakness, the which ought to be far from him that is esteemed to be most worthy, and appointed to rule and govern others. And thus he cometh into hatred, for as much as he hath left off to do his duty and office, when necessity required it. That husband that loveth not his wife after that he hath enjoyed her for a season, but doth wax feeble and cold, (which is a thing most usual and ordinary with such as are kindled with bodily lust and lechery) is a very beast and no man, having no reason, but is drawn to those deeds through the motion of his senses, which, after the heat is a little past, will clean change their opinion. Also there are other occasions, that should move the husband to extend this love to his The causeswhy the husband should love his wife. wife, in case he be not duller than a stone. As for that his wife hath suffered so great travail & labour, that she hath borne and brought him forth children, the heirs of his name and substance, and the upholders of his family: and that she hath forsaken her father's goods and riches, to follow him, and to suffer with him both good and evil: and that she setting her whole mind now upon him, knoweth no other father nor yet any of her kin. What one thing shall suffice if these and others cannot do it? Who so will then obey nature, humanity, and wisdom, shall every day love his wife more and more: and the better he knoweth her, the more he will trust her, and so open and disclose his love, and show her greater signs and tokens of love and benevolence, manifesting that to be borne and nourished through the experience of her virtue, and through hope to be continued and kept, that in time to come she may be like herself, and strive to overcome herself with virtue. As the husband ought to love his Wife tenderly, so from her as from a The husband must love his wife's kinsfolks. fountain, he must extend his love also unto her parents and kinsfolks, to the end that they may well know and perceive, how greatly their cousin doth aid and help them, and that she in like manner may understand, that his benevolence and love to her is such, that it redoundeth among her friends and parents; and of this he shall receive no little profit at home. And seeing he loveth his wife's kinsmen for her sake, how much more ought he then to love her children, that she in like case may love his, if he have any? And thus the one seeing the mutual love of the other, they shall knit and couple themselves in good and steadfast love unto their life's end. The duties which are to be performed of the husband and the wife, are either pertaining to piety and godliness, or else mutual several duties concerning the parties themselves. 1. The first common duty is prayer, that they pray together by themselves. For as they are to pray with others in their families for things which concern their household: so there are certain things, which belonging to themselves, are not to be mentioned in their families, but privately; as namely, for a godly posterity, and that in the birth the childrn be comely, and not monstrous in coming forth like monsters, which might be a grief unto them, or an occasion that the wicked should speak evil of the Gospel, etc. And further, they are to pray, that they may have comfort by them, in their well-carriage, and good behaviour: as likewise for their household, and diverse other affairs, which they cannot so commodiously pray for in their public family. As Isaac and Rebecca, besides the prayers in their house, which they used with Abraham's family, did also pray together privately, as Gen. 25. 21. it is said, Isaac prayed before his wife: for so the words signify, that they might have children. 2. A second duty of piety is, that they admonish one another. As the husband is to admonish the wife, and also to teach her: so the wife is to admonish the husband; & in her place admonishing, bringing sufficient reason is to be heard. For even as the master is to counsel the servant, and likewise to hear the good counsel of his servant, as Naaman 2. King. 5. 13. 14. heard his servant which counselled him to wash in jordan, according to the saying of the Prophet: so in like manner the husband's duty is, to counsel and to admonish his wife: yet so, as when he faileth in duty, he is to hear her good counsel and admonition, either concerning heavenly matters, or earthly affairs, she notwithstanding considering her estate and condition under him, and in humility, confessing herself to be the weaker vessel. 1. Pet. 3. 7. Their mutual and several duties pertaining to themselves, are: First, the holy familiarity which ought to be betwixt man and wife: whereby they have a more familiar usage one of another, and do more familiarly behave themselves in a comely sort one to another, than any other parties whatsoever: in regard whereof, Abimelech Gen. 26. 8. 9 king of Gerar, after that Isaac had said of Rebecca his wife, She is my sister, seeing Isaac playing and sporting with her familiarly, knowing that familiarity which ought to be between the husband and the wife; and knowing that Isaac was a godly religious man, and therefore would not use that kind of behaviour to any other woman, save to his wife, discerned thereby, and concluded certainly, that she was his wife, howsoever he had denied it before. Noting, that a woman is not to be familiar after that sort with any other man, save her husband; and contrary, that the husband ought not to use this familiarity with any other woman, which he doth with his wife. And therefore, Pro. 5. 19 we see that the wife should be to him, as the loving Hind; namely delightful, & one in whom he may delight: that as the heart delighteth in the Hind, so the wife should be a delight unto her husband; and so in like manner she ought to take delight in him. 2. Again, there is another mutual duty, pertaining to themselves, to wit, that near conjunction, even in regard of their bodies, for an 1. Cor. 7. 4. holy procreation of children, in respect whereof the Apostle saith, The husband hath not power over his own body, but the wife etc. Only when it is with the wife (as is common to women, Ezech. 18. 6.) or that she be sick of her disease, he is not then to have the use of her body, etc. Such as do aspire and purpose to enter into Duties common both to the husband & the wife. 1. Cor. 7. 2. the holy estate of matrimony, are to begin in prayer and holiness to God. And having attained to that estate, aught to use the benefit of marriage, as an holy ordinance of God, in all godliness and purity, for a remedy against the weakness of the flesh, and not for the provocation and lust to intemperancy. True it is, that honesty of marriage grounded upon God's ordinance, doth cover the shame of incontinency; yet not so, as that married folks should defile and pollute that holy estate, by admitting all things, but that they should so use it, as there might be no excess in dissoluteness, neither any intemperancy contrary to the holiness thereof: So that to abuse it in lascivious excess, is fornication. When God created the woman, he said: It is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a Gen. 1. 18. help meet for him; but whatsoever is said of the woman, that she should be an help to the man, must also be put in practice, and exercised by the husband to wards his wife, according to the doctrine of the Apostle Saint Paul, 1. Cor. 7. whether in avoiding fornication, whether in procuring generation, and the education and bringing up of children; whether in maintaining a family, or for the service of God, and salvation of souls. Hereby it evidently appeareth, that the duty common both to the husband and wife, importeth, that the one should aid and help the other. First, that they may lead their lines in chastity and holiness. Next, to avoid fornication. So that the duty of the husband and the wife consisteth in this, that they live together in all chastity and pureness, and that they take great heed and beware of breaking the bond, and infringing and violating the saith of marriage, by fornication or adultery, which is a detestable sin in the sight both of God and man. If such as wanting the remedy of marriage, by committing fornication, do incur an offence worthy everlasting damnation, what may those deserve, who having a remedy for their infirmity, do nevertheless overflow in adultery? Yet it is not enough only to abstain from this abomination, unless we also forbear from every thing that may seem to tend thereunto, or to continue any beginning, appearance, allurement, or occasion of evil. First, because, that by the Law, all this is forbidden even in these express words: Thou shalt not commit adultery. For the word adultery, comprehendeth all provocations, gestures, specches: yea, even unchaste looks. And therefore saith jesus Christ: He that looketh upon another man's wife, to lust after her, bath already committed adultery with her in his heart. Next, that we prevent all occasions of jealousy, a most dangerous disease, and of great difficulty to cure. For where either the husband or the wife, is tainted with jealousy, they believe every word that they hear spoken touching their passion, albeit it bear no appearance of truth. And therefore Christian husbands and wives, must so bear themselves, that they incur no suspicion of enil: but rather they ought to practise this, as well to avoid occasion of offence, as for fear lest jealousy should convert marriage into a most miserable and wretched estate. The care and burden to maintain their family is common to them both; yet so, as properly the husband is to get it, and to bring it in, and the wife to order and dispose it. Howbeit the duty of the wife, or of the husband, doth not so exempt either of them. but that she also, according to her ability and power, must help her husband to get it, and he likewise, in his discretion, direct her in the dispensation thereof: He that doth not orderly govern his house, shall inherit the wind, (saith Solomon.) And order consisteth in this, that the husband follow his business, traffic, or calling, without any molestation of the wife, who ought not to meddle or control him therein, but with great discretion and gentleness: as also the husband is not to deal but soberly, and in great discretion with affairs that are proper to the wife. The man is jealous of his authority and reputation, and the woman inclined to respect herself to be despised. Wherefore, as the husband cannot well abide that his wife should show herself more skilful and wise in his business then himself: so cannot the wife suffer that her husband should despise and account her a fool, by meddling with her small household affairs. As the duty therefore of the husband and wife, consisteth in looking to that which is aforesaid, to the end their marriage may be quiet, & themselves live together in love; even so an idle and unthrifty husband, and a prodigal and slothful wife, are two ready ways to destruction. The husband that hath such a wife, casteth his labours into a bottomless sack, and the wife that is matched with such a husband, draweth a cart heavy laden through a sandy way without a horse. Such a husband, especially, if idleness draw him to love and haunt alehouses and taverns, is cruel to his wife and children, and such a wife confounds her husband, and bringeth reproach and poverty to her whole family. The remedy for the husband that hath such a wife, is patience, with discreet admonition and prayer to God: as also the help for the wife that hath such a husband, is toleration, gentle exhortation, and cheerful and loving entertainment of her husband, whereby to induce him willingly to keep home. They are also to be mutual helpers each to other, in matters concerning their own salvation and the service of God. First, if one of them (as saith the Apostle) be an unbeliever, the other must labour to draw his party to the knowledge of the truth. Saint Paul exhorting the husband and wife of contrary religions, not to part, but to dwell together; addeth a notable reason, saying: What knowest thou, o man, 1. Cor. 7. 5. whether thou shalt save thyself: or thou o woman, whether thou shalt save thy husband? therein declaring, that the faithful person in duty is to labour and endeavour to win his party to the knowledge of truth, and so to save her. Saint' Peter exhorteth wives to be subject to their husbands, albeit unbelievers, and such as ' obey not the word: that so without speech, by their holy and virtuous conversation, they may 〈◊〉 them. Secondly, if both be believers, their duty is, to confirm and strengthen each other in the time of persecution, that they constantly follow jesus Christ. They are also each to help and comfort other, if either of them happen to fall into any fault or sin. They ought also each to persuade other to charity, to relieve the poor, diligently to frequent Sermons, to use prayers and supplications, and praise and thanksgiving to the Lord, to comfort each other in the time of afflictions; to be short, either to exhort other to walk in the fear of God, and in all duties and exercises beseeming the children of God. In this manner did that holy woman Elizeus hostess, exhort her husband to prepare a chamber for the Prophet to lodge in. Saint Paul also saith, that women desirous to learn, should question with their husbands at home. Whereby he showeth, that the husband ought to be so instructed, as that he may be ready to instruct his wife at home. And therefore the husband (after the example of the Bee,) should every where gather every good instruction, that he might be able to impart it to his wife, and by having a communication, acquaint her therewith. There are other duties which be common both to the husband and the wife, as among the rest, such as proceed of the union & conjunction of marriage, whereof it is said, They are one flesh: Gen. 2. 24. Matth. 19 5. And of this union proceedeth the mutual love betwixt them. For no man (saith the Apostle) hateth his own flesh, but loveth and cherisheth Ephes. 5. 15. Tit. 2. 5. it. But for as much as the foundation of this mutual love, is the unity of marriage, whereby the husband and the wife are made one flesh; the husband as the head, the wife as the body: it followeth, that this love must be steadfast, not variable; and that the union of marriage continue notwithstanding, whatsoever befall either the husband or the wife. Notwithstanding whatsoever complexions, (we say) natures and infirmities may appear, whatsoever sickness, loss of goods, injuries, griefs, or other inconveniences that may arise, yet so long as the foundation of love that is the union of marriage doth continue, so long must love and affection remain. God commandeth Mat. 5. 44. us, to love our neighbours as ourselves, because they be of our flesh. Albeit therefore, that he contemn, hate, offend, or wrong us: albeit he be our enemy, and in respect of himself, deserveth not that we should love him, yet because he is of our flesh, the foundation of love remaining, we must love him. How much rather ought they to put this in practice, who by the bond of marriage are made one flesh? the rather, because the union between man and wife, is without comparison more straight, and bindeth them each to love other much more than the conjunction whereby man is united unto his neighbour. But this is the mischief, that in many their love is not grounded upon the union of marriage, but upon beauty, riches, and other carnal and worldly considerations, subject to change, alteration, and loss. This corruption that respecteth beauty, is old, and noted to be among the causes of the flood. The sons of God (saith Moses) seeing the Gen. 6. 2. daughters of men were fair, lusted after them, and took them in marriage. But indeed it is money that maketh love, and riches engender affection, witness the experience of our days. Yet such love resembleth only a fire of straw, which is but a blaze, and is soon out, unless it be continued with great wood, or other like substance. Love growing of beauty, riches, lust, or any other like slight, uncertain, and frail grounds, is soon lost and vanished, unless it be maintained with the consideration of this union, of two in one flesh, and the virtues thereto adjoined: & therefore must every man think upon this union in marriage, that he may enjoy, nourish, & continue the love that there of proceedeth, the rather because such love is the nurse of concord, that maketh marriage happy: as chose, the want of this love, is the fountain of strife, quarrelling, debate, and other like afflictions, that convert the paradise of marriage into a hell. For dissension between man and wife, is the trouble and overthrow of the household. They that will avoid such strife, must therefore love each other: and especially they must have care hereof when they are first married. For as a vessel made of two pieces, and glued together, may at the first be easily broken, but in time groweth hard: so is it also with two persons that are glued or joined together by the bond of marriage. This love, the mother of peace, will engender a care and duty each to support other, and so to practise the same, which Saint Paul requireth in all believers: that is, To be gentle one to another, friendly, and each to forgive other, even as God hath forgiven us through Christ. Let the husband think, that he hath married a daughter of Adam, and all her infirmities: and likewise let the woman think, that she hath not married an Angel, but a child of Adam, with his corruption. And so let them both resolve to bear that, that cannot be soon amended. Let not the body complain of the head, albeit it have but one eye, neither the head of the body, albeit it be crooked or misshapen. Such defaults do never break union and love between the head and the body: neither must the infirmities of the husband or the wife, infringe the love that proceeds of the union and conjunction of marriage. If the husband be given to brawling, or the wife to chiding, let them both beware of giving any occasion. The bell hath a loud sound, and therefore he that will not hear it must beware how he pulleth the rope and shake it: so if the one will begin to chide without a cause, let the other be either deaf, and so not hear it, or dumb, and so make no answer. So that where the husband is deaf, and the wife blind, marriage is quiet and free from dissension. Whereby is meant, that the wife must wink at many infirmities of her husband, as if she saw them not, and the husband put up many shrewd speeches of his wife, as if he heard them not. Neither can it be any reproach to the husband and wise, so steadfastly united, to practise this duty, considering that David protesteth, that he used the like patience and discretion among his enemies: They that seek after my life lay Psal. 38. 22. snares, and they that go about to do me evil, talk wicked things, and imagine deceit continually: But I as a deaf man, heard not: and am as a dumb man which openeth not his mouth. Thus I am as a man that heareth not, and in whose mouth are no reproofs. This union between man and wife, doth also engender that duty which the holy Ghost noteth, saying: For this cause shall a man leave his Mat. 19 5. Ephes. 5. 31. father and mother, and cleave to his wife. And also the wife in the like respect is bound to the like duty toward her husband. Not that marriage exempteth any from their due honour and obedience to parents, but to declare that the union between man and wife, is greater than between the children and the parents. And indeed, the true love of the husband to the wife, and the wife to the husband, surmounteth all love of children to their parents. The husband and the wife have their secret counsels and communication of matters concerning their profit and commodity. The wise it more obedient to her husband, and the husband more desirous to please his wife, than their Parents: yea and at length it falleth out, that they depart from their parents, to keep house by themselves. And this plainly appeared in Lea and Rachel, being sisters, and the wives of Gen. 31. 4. 5. etc. lacob. For lacob grieved at the wrong offered him by their father Laban, boldly made his moan to them. Whereupon they also complaining of their father, agreed with lacob, and consented together, to leave their father, and to follow their husband lacob. Herein likewise consisteth another duty of the husband to the wife, and of the wife to the husband: namely, that they show no greater secrecy or communication of their household affairs to their parents, then mutually each to other: and this rule is especially to be put in practice, when there groweth any discontent between themselves. For if the husband shall complain to his parents of his wife, or the wife of her husband, such dealing might breed a most dangerous jealousy, and consequently perhaps irreconciliable dissension and strife. But if it should grow to any complaint, it were requisite, so discreetly to prosecute the matter, as that the wife should come to her husband's parents, and the husband to the wife's parents. So would all cause of jealousy cease, and the complaint procure most assured remedy. This love and agreement in marriage produceth yet another duty, common both to the husband and the wife. And that is, that they never seek, neither once think of divorce. And to that end, let them remember what is written: That which God hath joined together, let no man put asunder. Likewise, that nothing but adultery, Math. 19 6. may separate those that are united by marriage. All other agreements and contracts, made by mutual consent, may be broken and dissolved, by the like consent of both parties: but in the contract of marriage, Almighty God cometh in as a witness: yea, he receiveth the promise of both parties, as a joining them in that estate. And this doth Solomon note, where he objecteth to the harlot, that she hath forgotten Pre. 2. 27. the covenant or alliance of her God. But Malachi speaketh more plainly, and giveth a reason, why God punished such husbands as leaving their lawful wives took others: Because (saith he) the Lord hath been witness between Mal. 2. 14. thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast transgressed, yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. The promise therefore to God cannot be broken, but only by his authority. In the days of Moses, husbands were easily and soon entreated to sorsake their wives, by giving them a bill of divorce: yet so far was this course from being lawful, that contrariwise jesus Christ saith, that it was tolerated only Mat. 19 in respect of the hardness of husband's hearts, who otherwise would have vexed their wives, and entreated them cruelly. And this libel containing the cause of divorce, and putting away of the woman, did justify her, and condemn the man. For seeing it was never given in case of adultery, (which was punished with death) all other causes alleged in the libel, tended to justify the woman, and declare that she was wrongfully divourced, and so condemned the husband, as one that Levit. 20. 10. joh. 8. 5. contraryed the first institution of marriage; whereto jesus Christ condemning this corruption, doth return them, saying: It was not so from Mat. 19 8. the beginning: And therefore, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for whoredom, and marrieth another, committeth adultery, and whosoever marrieth her which is divorced, doth commit adultery with her; So strait is the bond of marriage. Here of it followeth, that notwithstanding whatsoever difficulties may arise between the husband and the wife, whether it be long, tedious, and incurable sickness of either party: whether natural and contrary humours, that breed debate, wrangling, or 〈◊〉, about household affairs: whether it be any vice, as if the husband be a drunkard, or the wife a slothful, idle, or 〈◊〉 housewife: whether either party forsake the truth, and profession of religion, and do fall to idolatry or heresy: yet still the bond of marriage remaineth steadfast, and not to be dissolved. Neither may they be separated, even by their own mutual consent: for as the holy Ghost hath pronounced: That which God hath joined together, let no man put asunder. Mat. 19 6. 1. Cor. 7. 12. And therefore Saint Paul saith, If any brother hath a wife that believeth not; if she be content to dwell with him; let him not forsake her: and the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, if he can be content to dwell with her, let her not for sake him. And because some did suppose, that the unbelief in any of the parties might breed some pollution in their marriage, and make it profane and unchristian, he answereth no. His reason is, For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by his believing wife; and the unbelieving wife, by her believing husband. And this he proveth, by affirming that the childrenissuing of such marriage be holy; that is to say, partakers of the covenant of God, and consequently, accepted into the fellowship of the Church. Only he addeth this exception: If the unbelieving man depart, and for sake the believing wife, she is not subject to follow him. And yet must this be understood, where such departure ariseth either upon hatred that he beareth to the true religion that bis wife professeth, or upon a desire to use his polluted and false religion. For therein cannot his wife follow him without danger of defiling, and depriving herself of the profession of the truth; together with the food of her soul. Likewise, where Saint Paul speaking of the husband and wife, both believers, saith: If the 1 Cor. 7. 11. woman depart from her husband, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: he therein meaneth not, that it shall be lawful for the woman, because she cannot bear the troublesome nature of her husband, or to avoid strife and debate, to depart, and live as a widow; but only he 〈◊〉, that when the husband upon such like occasion, shall put away, or cast off his wife, yet is not she at her liberty to marry another, but must remain unmarried, and labour to be reconciled. And therefore those women, which upon the hard dealing, or troublesome disposition of their husbands, do for sake them, are greatly to be reproved, as thereby giving occasion of great mischief and trouble: as also are those husbands, who upon like occasion do forsake their wives. For seeing nothing may make divorce but adultery, every purpose and determination to part upon any other occasion or reason, is restrained by God's ordinance and the law of marriage. And 〈◊〉 as it is not lawful for us to continue in such desperation the whole course of our lives, neither is it lawful so to abide at all, or so much as enter thereinto: if therefore, upon such occasion the husband forsake his wife, or the wife her husband; rather then to continue the mischief begun, let them return together again, and think that the shortest follies do least hurt. If they allege their entreaty, in their opinion intolerable, and their nature so contrary, Objection. that they cannot live without strife and debate: and that being asunder, and quiet in conscience, free from trouble, they may the better apply themselves and employ their time in prayer: the answer is that such 〈◊〉 must not dissolve, Answer. or break the bond of marriage, and their duties to live together: but let them think that God hath called them to the exercise of patience, which upon hearty prayer he will grant to them: Let them labour to bear each with other, that they may live in peace; and continually pray to God to give them grace so to do. Let them remember, that the devil transformeth himself into an Angel of light, when by propounding a desire to live in quiet, and consequently a mean to pray unto God; for the compassing thereof, he induceth them to gainsay God's prohibition, and also to separate that which God hath joined together. For as the conjunction cometh of God, so the separation and divorce proceedeth from the devil. If they reply, that by living asunder, so that they marry not again, they break not the bond of marriage; let them remember, that marriage being ordained for a remedy against fornication, for the generation and bringing up of children, and also for an help each to other in mutual society, and inseparable conversation oflife, yet doth there appear no token or effect of marriage in those that live asunder, albeit they marry not again. So that the benefit of marriage consisteth not only in the procreation of children, but also in the mutual society of the two divers Sexes. Otherwise it could not be said, that there were any marriage between two old folks. This union of marriage, yet teacheth us another duty, common both to the man and to the wife, which is, that their goods be common between them. That Commonwealth may in some sort be said to be happy, where they have no use of these words: Mine and thine; but in marriage especially they ought not to be heard. If the wife have brought most goods in marriage, the marriage once consummate and made, her part is gone, and they are gone, and they are made common: as also are the debts, whether hers or her husbands. And therefore can neither of them say, this is mine; but this is ours. When a woman hath brought great goods, yet may she not say, I will do with mine own what I list: for she herself is not her own, but her husbands. The husband (as the head and chief guide of the family,) must have the custody and chiefe government of the goods in the house, yet may he discharge himself of the whole, or of part, as himself shall think meet and convenient. Yet let him remember, that he entreat her not as a servant, by giving her money as it were in mistrust, or with condition to return him a particular account: for the husband's mistrust doth many times provoke the woman; and the wife's vain expense breedeth mistrust in the husband. But the faithful and discreet employment and good usage of the wife, and her husband's confidence in her, will procure, that as the goods be common to both, so each alike shall undertake the custody and employment of the same. Hereunto for a conclusion of this point, we will yet add two duties, common both to the husband and the wife. The first, that they daily pray to God to give them grace to live together in peace and love, and that each may be an help to others salvation. Let all such as desire to enjoy such a felicity, understand, that they must daily pray to God for the obtaining thereof. And let those that live in strife and debate, examine themselves whether they have no cause to impute their miserable estate to their neglect of this duty. The second, consisteth in the practice of the same: which Saint Paul teacheth, saying: Let 1. Cor. 7. 29. those that be married, be as if they were not married. But how? by so enjoying the commodity and contentation of marriage, that the benefit of their conjunction breed no divorce between God and them. Likewise, that thereby they be not hindered, or made slack in any duty towards God, and their neighbours; as also, that no affliction (depending or proceeding of marriage) withdraw them, or force them to resolve any thing contrary to the union of marriage, and these Christian profession that they be the children of God. The particular duties of the husband toward the wife, are first, to protect her, to have regard and care over her, etc. Ruth 3. 9 Secondly, that he unfeignedly love her, out of which fountain springeth this duty, that he must bear with her infirmities, and not by and by, to enter into bitterness and wrath: Colossions 3. 16. To the same end Saint Peter exhorting husbands to behave themselves discreetly, 1. Pet. 3. 7. and with knowledge and wisdom toward their wives, he requireth of them two things. First, that they never say nor do any thing that may justly offend their wives, as some there be, who being prodigal, great spenders, or idle and slack in their business, do cause their wives and children to languish in poverty: Others, who haunting taverns, alehouses, and gaming, do consume and waste that which should maintain their family: Others who coming home drunk, do beat and vex their wives, and as it were drive them into despair: Others, who by vile and bitter speeches, by threatenings, and other unchristian actions, unworthy a husband, do provoke their wives; and so stir up such strife and debate, as do convert the comfort of marriage into an hell. Seeing therefore, that the husband is head, he ought in such wisdom, reason and discretion to bear himself, that he give his wife no just occasion of offence, or provocation: yet he must remember, that if the head be drunk, the whole body is in danger of weak government, even oflying in the mire. Secondly, that albeit the wife should minister just cause of grief and displeasure, yet that the husband should not thereof take occasion against his wife's infirmities; or enter into bitterness, taunts, or disquietness: but discreetly, and patiently bear with her; that so they may quietly and lovingly live together. The hurt or weakness of any one member of the body, provoketh not the head to wrath or bitterness, but rather to compassion, and an inclination to help it. And indeed, whereas God having created the woman the weaker vessel (as Saint Peter noteth,) and did so join her to man, it was not to the end that he striving with so frail a vessel, should bruise and break it, but that by gentle and discreet entreating, he should quietly enjoy the help that God hath given him. Let him therefore after the counsel of Saint Peter, so respect her, as one, who albeit she be 1. Pet. 3. 7. weak, is nevertheless a profitable vessel for him. Moreover, let him love and honour her, as one, whom (notwithstanding the frailty of her Sex) God hath so honoured, and jesus Christ so loved, that being together with man redeemed with his blood, she is, together with her husband, coheir of life everlasting. A crystal glass, is a precious and profitable vessel, yet brittle: so is the married woman. But albeit she be brittle, yet is she profitable to her husband, and precious in the sight of God, as a child of God, and member of Christ. As therefore a man doth more carefully take heed ofbreaking such a glass, than some earthen or tin vessel, the one being more base, and the other more strong: so likewise should the husband have such regard of the frailty of his wife, that he may bear with her, and entreat her with gentleness and discretion, that he may use her as a precious and profitable vessel, to his comfort and joy. And in as much as prayer is an excellent service that God requireth of us, and the ready means to purchase his blessings, let the husband discretly bear with his wife, lest otherwise through their strife and contention, their prayers (as Saint Peter saith) be letted and interrupted, 1. Pet. 3. 7. Yet must we not say, but the husband both may and aught to tell his wife of her infirmities, that she may amend. But here we are to enter into consideration of sundry points. First, he is especially to reprove her offences against God: as when Rachel said unto jacob: Give me children, or else I die: he reproved Gen. 30. 1. her of impoitunitie, saying: Am I in God's stead, who hath withholden from thee the fruit of thy womb? Also when jobs wife said to her husband: Dost thou abide in thy integrity? Curse God and die: he wisely reproved such a wicked speech, saying: Thou speakest as an unwise woman. What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and not receive evil? Secondly, that it be with gentleness and testimony of good will: as Elkanah dealt with his wife Hanna, when she mourned because she 1. Sam. 1. had no children. And indeed it is meet that the husband should reprove his wife lovingly, rather by persuasion then by force. For as in a great stormy wind, a man lappeth his cloak about him, and holdeth it fast for fear oflosing it, but when the wind is down, and the weather calm, he letteth it hang easily: so, when husbands will (as it were) perforce wrest away their wife's infirmities, many of them will obstinately resist; yet chose, by sweet words and loving exhortations, they might be won voluntarily to forsake them. Thirdly, the husband must seek diligently to remove the occasion and stone whereat his wife stumbleth, and taketh occasion of grief. So when Sarah was moved against Abraham because of Agar, and objected Gen. 16. unto him, albeit wrongfully, that he was the eause that she contemned her: bearing with his wife, 〈◊〉 removed the cause of the contentation, in suffering her to turn Agar out of doors. He must also take heed, that he himself be not tainted with the same vice which he reproveth in his wife, lest she stop his mouth with a reproach of the same fault: but rather by giving her example by the contrary virtue, let her be induced and led to follow him. In reproving the wife, the husband must always use such discretion, that she be not brought into contempt: and therefore it should never be done in the presence of more than themselves. For as it is mere folly for an husband to praise and commend his wife in company: so is it as dangerous to check and reprove her before witness. For indeed thereof it cometh, that women, not being able to bear that disgrace, will reply, and so ptovoke strife and dissension in open presence, which will redound to great reproach and offence. And therefore, as the husband must not flatter his wife, so he must not reprove her before strangers. A wise husband, and one that seeketh to live in quiet with his wife, must observe these three rules: Often to admonish: seldom to reprove: and never to smite her. Let the husband also remember, that the infirmities of his wife, must be either taken away, or borne witball. So that he that can take them quite away, maketh his wife far more commodious and fit for his purpose: and he that can bear with them, maketh himself better, and more virtuous. The husband is also to understand, that as God created the woman, not the head, and so equal in authority with her husband: so also he created her not of Adam's foot, that she should be trodden down and despised; but he took her out of the rib, that she might walk jointly with him, under the conduct and government of her head. And in that respect, the husband is not to command his wife in such manner as the master his servant, but as the soul doth the body, as being conjoined in like affection and good wil For as the soul in governing the body, tendeth to the benefit and commodity of the same: so ought the dominion and commandment of the husband over his wife, to tend to rejoice and content her. To conclude, as God hath testified his singular goodness unto man, in creating him an helper to assist him: so let him consider in how many sorts she is to him an helper, to pass over this life in blessedness. And let this daily seeking of such a benefit received at the hands of God, induce and stir him up to render thanks, and to dispose himself to use it well, to his own comfort and salvation: and not to abuse it, to the destruction both of himself and his wife. But if he chance (as many do) upon troubles and afflictions in marriage, let him remember, that the same doth proceed, not properly from marriage, but from the corruption of the parties married: and for his part, let him study to amend his infirmities and faults, by amendment of life: and withal, pray to God to grant the like grace unto his wife; to the end that the more they recover the Image of God, the more feeling they may have of the felicity of marriage, which Adam and Eve had enjoyed, had they continued as they were created in the Image of God. And the particular duties of the wife to the husband, are principally these: First, that she be a helper unto him. Secondly, that she be obedient unto him, etc. These special duties are partly touched before, and partly afterwards. As love matrimonial is greatly allowed of God, and much commended of all good men, as an ordinate, holy, and godly love: so chose hatred, dissension, strife, debate, unquietness and frowardness in marriage, highly displeaseth God, and much grieveth all good and godly men. And therefore the devil, the enemy of all unity, concord and agreement, laboureth by all means he can (specially at the first coming of the married folks to dwell together) to sow dissension and discord, and to cause them not to agree, but to dislike one of the other; against whom they must diligently watch, by servant and earnest prayer to God, that the devil prevail not against them, by such too early disagreement. For as two boards, if at the first they be not well coupled and joined together, are never fastened right afterwards, but if the first coupling and joining together be good, then can there afterward no violence drive the boards asunder: yea, the whole board doth sooner break, than the glewing of them together: even so, the husband and wife must be very careful and diligent, that their first cohabitation and dwelling together be loving, delectable, and friendly, and not separated through any The best policy in marriage, is to begin well. spiteful contention or discord, so shall the whole estate of their marriage be more comfortable, and prosper the better so long as they shall live. And though there happen to arise any spark of discord betwixt them, yet let them beware that at the last there be not too much displeasure, disdain, and inconvenience kindled thereby. For, if at the first dwelling together there shall fall out such unto wardness, and uncomely discord, then will it now and then be breaking out. Even as it fareth with great wounds, and broken legs or arms, which seldom are so throughly healed, but sometimes they have pain at the change of the weather: so likewise, if married folks behave themselves thus untowardly and unhonestly, the one towards the other at the first, and if larres and discord be once begun between them, the old canker of hatred will breed again, though it be scaled afterward. Let the one therefore learn betime to be acquainted with the nature and condition of the other, and to apply themselves according to the same, in as much as they must needs dwell together, one to enjoy another, and the one to live and die with the other, and so steadfastly and unfeignedly to love one the other, that neither of them have any thing so dear, which they cannot be content to give and bestow one upon the other: yea even their own life if need require. And therefore husbands and wives must even at the beginning of their marriage, give their diligence, that all injuries & offences may be avoided, for tender and lost love is soon dissolved and broken. So that this new love and conjunction of the mind, must be nourished, with benign, sweet, and gentle conversation, until it be so increased and fastened, that no great storm be able to dissolve and break it. And all suspicion must be at all times, but especially at the beginning of matrimony, eschewed and shunned, lest they should first begin to hate, or ever they begin to love: yea, and they must beware they do not feign any suspicion, nor conceive it of any light occasions and conjectures; for unto such they in no wise must give ear, although there were some show and great appearance of likelihood. And this will be a good means to effect and work this; namely, if they 〈◊〉 themselves to speak kindly and cheerfully one to the other. For as the ancient Counsellors of King Solomon, gave wise advice and counsel unto Rehoboam King ofIsraell, to the end that he 1. King. 12. 7. 8. etc. might win the love and good liking of the people: Speak kindly unto them (said they) and they will serve thee for ever after; which counsel not being followed, great inconvenience and mischief after befell unto him. Even so likewise if the husband be 〈◊〉 to procure the love ofhi wife, and to win her to God; or if the wife be desirous, and would also procure the love of her husband, and win him to God, than they must draw on one another with sweet and gentle words oflove, speaking kindly one judg. 19 3. to another; because gentle words do pacify anger, as water quencheth fire. But if they shall Prou. 15. 1. use taunts or words of reproach and despite one against another, much hurt then may ensue thereof: For a little leaven soureth the whole Gal 5. 9 lump. And therefore let them use to give one to the other, their dutiful names and titles, and to eschew and shun the contrary. For example, like as the spiteful jews, which hated the Lord jesus, would not vouchsafe to give him his name when they talked of him, or with him, but to show their utter dislike of him, they used to say; Is this he? or, Art thou he that will do such a thing? Is not this he? etc. Again, Whither will he go, that we shall not find him? they would not say, Is not this jesus Christ? or the Son of God? but they used a most despiteful kind of speaking, which did bewray abundance of malice that was hidden in their hearts; even so it sometimes falleth out betwixt the husband and the wife, betwixt the father and the son, betwixt the master and the servant, etc. that they could speak dutifully one to another, but contempt, and disdain, anger and malice, will not suffer the one to afford unto the other their due names and titles, lest they should be put in mind of those duties, which those names require. Whereout Satan sucketh no small advantage, whereas many times the very name of husband, or wife, father, or son, master, or servant, etc. doth greatly help to persuade the mind, and to win the affection; yea, the very mentioning of these names, doth oftentimes leave a print of duty behind in the conscience. Husband's must not forget this point; namely, that it is not sufficient for them to declare and outwardly make a show of a good life, in words and precepts only, but also in life and deed: So that two things are very necessary for them to rule withal: to wit, wisdom and example, and that they themselves fulfil the thing that they command to be done. The life and outward conversation of a man, whether it be good or evil, doth not only persuade, but also constrain and enforce. We do see how mighty and available, this, or the like exhortation of a Captain is in the time of war and battle; Oh my soldiers, do that ye shall see me do: the which contempt of death in the Captain, doth so creep through the whole host, that there is not one, be he never so feeble and weakhearted, that doth esteem his life, for the which he perceiveth that his Captain careth so little. Thus did Christ, with his Apostles and Martyrs, draw the world unto the Christian faith: Levit. 11. 44. and 19 2. and 20. 7. and 21. 8. joh. 13. 15. Phil. 3. 17. 1. Tim. 1. 16. 2. Thessal. 3. 9 For, as they lived, so they spoke, and as they spoke, so they lived. Therefore if the husband would have his wife to be temperate, quiet, chaste, painful in her calling, religious, etc. then he must be careful that he be not distemperate, unquiet, no whoremonger, nor careless in his calling, nor irreligious, etc. So that if he command any thing to be done, he must look that he deny not to do the same himself, and so shall his wife and family obey the same, and be the more ready, and willing to do it, being both honest and lawful to be done. The very name of a wife, is like the Angel which stayed Abraham's hand when the stroke Gen. 22. 11. was coming. If David, because he could not express the commodity and comfort of unity and brotherly love, was fain to say: Oh how good and joyful a thing it is, for brethren to Psal. 133. 1. dwell together in unity! Then let husbands weigh and consider, how harsh and bitter a thing it is, for them and their wives to dwell together in enmity and strife. For the first year after marriage, God would not have the husband go to war with his enemies, to the end that he and his wife might learn to know one another's Levit. 24. 5. conditions and qualities, and so afterwards live in godly peace, & not war one with another: and therefore God gave a law, and appointed that the new married husband that year should stay at home, and settle his love, that he might not war and jar after: for the God of peace dwelleth not in the house of war. As a kingdom cannot stand if it be divided; so an house Mat. 12. 25. cannot stand if it be divided: for strife is like a fire, which leaves nothing but dust, smoke, and ashes behind it. We read in the Scriptures, of masters that struck their servants, but never of any that struck his wife, but rebuked her. Lot was drunk when he lay with his daughters Gen. 19 33. in stead of a wife: and so is he which striketh his wife in stead of his servants. The law showeth how a bondman should be corrected: the wife is like a judge, which is joined in commission with her husband to correct other. Wilt thou strike one in his own house? no more shouldst thou strike thy wife in her house. She is come to thee as to a Sanctuary, to defend her from hurt: and canst thou hurt her thyself? Therefore Abraham said to Lot; Are we Gen. 18. 3. not brethren? that is, May brethren jar? But they may say, are we not one, can one chide with himself? can one fight with himself? He is a bad host that welcomes his guest with stripes. Doth a King trample on his crown? Solomon calleth the wife, The crown of her husband. Therefore Pro. 12. 4. he which woundeth her, woundeth his own honour: She is a free Citizen in thine house, and hath taken the peace of thee the first day of her marriage, to hold thy hands till she release thee again. Adam saith of his spouse, This is flesh of my flesh. But no man (saith Paul) ever Gen. 2. 23. Ephes. 5. 29. hated his own flesh. So then, if a man ask whether he might strike his wife? God saith, nay: thou mayest not hate thy wife: For no man hateth his own flesh; showing that he should not come near blows, but think his wrath too much. Some husbands are wont to say, that they will rule their wives whatsoever they be, or howsoever they came by them, and that it is in the hand and power of the husband, what, and of what qualities and conditions she shall be. True it is, that a great part of this doth rest and lie in the husband, so that he understand as he ought to do, that marriage is the supreme and most excellent part of all amity and friendship: and that it far differeth from tyranny, the which doth compel men to obey. Truly it may force the body, but not the will, in the which all love and amity doth consist and stand: the which if it be drawn and forced, doth resist and bow like a Palm tree to the contrary part. And the husband may assure himself, that there cannot be any quiet marriage or unity, where he and his wife do not agree in will and mind: the which two, are the beginning and seat of all amity and friendship. And such husbands as do brag, and think themselves able to rule and over rule their wives, by that time they have proceeded and gone a little further, they shall well feel and perceive themselves to be beguiled, and find that thing to be most hard and intricate, the which to be done, they esteemed most light and easy. Some husbands there be, that through evil and rough handling, and in threatening of their wives, have and use them not as wives, but as their servants And yet surely they are but very fools, that judge and think matrimony to be a dominion. For such as would be feared, do afterwards piteous lament and complain, that they can find no love in their wives, whose love and amity through their own cruelty and hard dealing, they have turned into hatred. And whereas at the beginning, they gloried and cracked thus cruelly that they were their wife's masters, they have now purchased unto themselves a most miserable and lamentable life in time to come; all love and pleasure being now cast aside, and compassed with fear and suspicion, hatred and sorrow. Surely, if a husband (as nature, reason, and the holy Scriptures do witness) be the head over his wife, and God their Father, there ought to be between them such society and fellowship, yea and greater, than is between the father and the son; and not such as is between the master and the servant. And amongst many reasons that may be used, to persuade the husband and wife to live together, lovingly, quietly, and Christianly, this is not the least; namely, that neither of them is certain how long they shall live together: & then the party that over-liveth, and purposeth to marry again, having been churlish, froward, etc. with his former wife; or she with her first husband: their so hard dealing one with the other before, being known, will (no doubt) be an occasion that they shall not speed, and match so well as otherwise they might, if they had behaved themselves peaceably and dutifully in their first marriage. What the duty of a wife is toward her husband. THis duty is comprehended in these points; First, that she reverence her husband. Secondly, that she submit herself, and be obedient unto him. And lastly, that she do not wear gorgeous apparel, beyond her degree and place, but that her attire be comely and sober, according to her calling. The first point is proved by the Apostles, Peter and Paul; who set forth the wife's duties 1. Pet. 3. 1. Ephes. 5. 22. Col. 3. 18. 1. Cor. 7. 2. to their husbands, commanding them to be obedient unto them, although they be profane and irreligious, yea, that they ought to do it so much the more, that by their honest life and conversation, they might win them to the obedience of the Lord. Now for so much as the Apostle would have Christian wives, that are matched with ungodly husbands, and such as are not yet good Christians, to reverence and obey them: much more should they show themselves thankful to God, and willingly, and dutifully perform this obedience and subjection, when they are coupled in marriage with godly, wise, discreet, learned, gentle, loving, quiet, patient, honest, and thrifty husbands. And therefore they ought evermore Wife's must be serviceable & obedient unto their husbands and stand in a reverend awe of them. to reverence them, and to endeavour with true obedience and love to serve them; to be loath in any wise to offend them, 〈◊〉 rather to be careful and diligent to please them, that their soul may bless them. Ephes. 5. 24. And if at any time it shall happen, that the wife shall anger or displease her husband, by doing or speaking any thing that shall grieve him, she ought never to rest until she have pacified him, and gotten his favour again. And if he shall chance to blame her without a cause, and for that which she could not help or remedy, (which thing sometimes happeneth even of the best men) yet she must bear it patiently, and give him no uncomely or unkind word for it; but evermore look upon him with a loving and cheerful countenance; and so rather let her take the fault upon her, then seem to be difpleased. Let her be always merry and cheerful in his Cheerful in countenance. company, but yet not with too much lightness. She must beware in any wise of swelling, pouting, lowering, or frowning; for that is a token of a cruel and unloving heart, except it be in respect of sin, or in time of sickness. She may not be sorrowful for any adversity that God sendeth: but must always be careful that nothing be spilt, or go to waste through her negligence. In any wise she must be quick and cleanly about her husband's mere and drink, preparing Gen. 27. 9 him the same according to his diet in due season. Let her show herself in word and deed wise, humble, courteous, gentle, and loving towards her husband, and also towards such as he doth love; and then shall she lead a blessed life. Let her show herself not only to love no man so well as her husband, but also to love none other at all but him, unless it be for her husband's sake, and the Lords. Wherefore let the wife remember, that (as the Scripture reporteth) she is one body with Gen. 2. 23. 24 Math 19 5. 1. Cor. 6. 16. Eihes 5. 31. her husband; so that she ought to love him none otherwise then herself: for this is the greatest virtue of a married woman, this is the thing that wedlock signifieth and commandeth, that How the wife ought to behave herself unto her husband. the wife should reckon, to have her husband for both father, mother, brother, and sister, like as Adam was unto Eve; and as the most noble and chaste woman Andromache said her husband Hector was unto her: Thou art unto me both father and mother, Mine own dear husband, and well beloved brother. And if it be true that men. do say, that friendship maketh one heart of two: much more truly and effectually ought wedlock to do the same, which far passeth all manner both of friendship and kindred. Therefore it is not said, marriage doth make one man, or one mind, or one body of two, but clearly one person; wherefore matrimony requireth a greater duty of the husband to wards his wife, and the wife towards her husband, than otherwise they are bound to show to their parents. The Apostle biddeth, To rejoice with them that rejoice, and weep with them that weep. With Rom. 12. 15. whom should the wife rejoice, rather than with her loving husband? Or with whom, should she weep and mourn, rather than with her own flesh? I will not leave thee, saith Elisha to 2. King. 2. 6. Eliah: so she should say, I will never leave him till death. Bear one another's burden (saith Paul.) Gal. 6. 2. Who shall bear one another's burden, if the wife do not bear the husband's burden? Wicked lezabel comforted her husband in his sickness: 1. King. 21. 5. 1. King. 14. 4. and jeroboam wife sought for his health, though she was as bad as he. God did not bid Sarah leave her father and country, as he did Gen. 12. 1. bid her husband, yet because he bade Abraham leave his, she left hers too: showing, that she was content not only to be his play fellow, but his yoke-fellow too. Beside a yoke-fellow, she is called an helper, to help him in his labours, Gen. 2. 18. to help him in his troubles, to help him in his sickness, like a woman physician, sometime with her strength, and sometime with her counsel. For as sometime God confoundeth 1. Cor. 1. 27. the wise by the foolish, and the strong by the weak; so sometimes he teacheth the wise by the foolish, and helpeth the strong by the weak. Therefore Peter saith, Husbands are won 1. Pet. 3. 1. by the conversation of their wives. As if he should say, sometime the weaker vessel is the stronger vessel. Abraham may take counsel of Sarah, as Naaman was advised by his servant. 2. King. 5. 3. & 49. The Shunamites counsel made her husband receive a Prophet into his house: and hester's counsel made her husband spare the Church Hest. 7. 3. of the jews: so some have been better help to their husbands then their husbands have been to them: for it pleaseth God to provoke the wise with the foolish, as he did the jews with the 〈◊〉. 32. 21. Gentiles. Beside an helper, she is called a comforter too; and therefore the man is bid to rejoice 〈◊〉. 10 19 Prou. 5. 18. 19 in his wife: which is as much to say, that wives must be the rejoicing of their husbands, even like David's harp to comfort Saul. A good 1. Sam. 16. 23. wife therefore is known, when her words, and deeds, and countenance, are such as her husband loveth. She must not examine whether he be wise or simple, but that she is his wife, and therefore being bound she must obey: as Abigail loved her husband, though he were a 1. Sam. 25. 3. fool, churlish, and evil conditioned. For the wife is as much despised for taking rule ovet her husband, as he for yielding it unto her. Therefore one saith, that a mankind woman is a monster, that is, half a woman & half a man. It beseemeth not the mistress to be master, no more than it becometh the master to be mistress: but both must sail with their own wind, and both keep their standing. Lastly, we call the wife huswife, that is, housewife, not a street-wife, one that gaddeth up and down, like Thamar: nor a field-wife, like Dinah: Gen. 38. 4. Gen. 33. 1. Why wives are called huswives. but a housewife: to show that a good wife keeps her house: and therefore Paul biddeth Titus to exhort women that they be chaste, and keeping at home: presently after chaste, he saith, Tit. 2. 5. keeping at home, as though home were chastity's keeper. And therefore Solomon depainting Pro. 7. 12. and describing the qualities of a whore, setteth her at the door, now sitting upon her stall, now walking in the streets, now looking out of the window, like cursed jezabel, as if she 2. King 30. held forth the glass of temptation, for vanity to gaze upon. But chastity careth to please but one, and therefore she keeps her closet as if she were still at prayer. The Angel asked Abraham, Where is thy wife? Abraham answered: She is in the tent. The Angel Gen. 18. 9 knew where she was, but he asked, that we might see how women in old time did keep their tents and houses. It is recorded of the Shunamite, 2. King. 4. 22. that she did ask her husband leave to go unto the Prophet, though she went to a Prophet, and went of a good errand, and for his cause as much as her own, yet she thought it not meet to go far abroad without her husband's leave. The second point is, that wives submit themselves, and be obedient unto their own husbands Ephe. 5. 22. 23. 〈◊〉. Cor. 11. & 14. 34. as to the Lord, because the husband is by God's ordinance the wife's head, that is, her defender, teacher and comforter: and therefore she oweth her subjection to him, like as the Church doth to Christ: and because the example of Sarah the mother of the faithful, which obeyed Abraham and called him Lord, moveth them Gen. 18. 12. 1. Pet. 3. 6. thereunto. This point is pattly handled before in the first point, as also in the duty of the husband to the wife. As the Church should depend upon the wisdom, discretion and will of Christ, and Ephes. 5. 24. not follow what itself listeth: so must the wife also submit and apply herself to the discretion and will of her husband: even as the government and conduct of every thing resteth in the head, not in the body. Moses writeth, that the Serpent Gen. 3. 1. was wise above all beasts of the field: and that he did declare in assaulting the woman, that when he had seduced her, she might also seduce and deceive her husband. Saint Paul 1. Tim. 2. 14. noting, this, among other the causes of the woman's subjection, doth sufficiently show, that for the avoiding of the like inconveniences, it is God's will that she should be subject to her husband, so that she shall have no other discretion or will, but what may depend upon her head. The Lord also by Moses saith the same: Thy desire shall be subject to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. This dominion over their wife's will doth manifestly appear in this, that God in old time ordained, that if the woman had Num. 30. 7. vowed any thing unto God, it should not withstanding rest in her husband to disavow it: so much is the wives will subject to her husband. Yet it is not meant, that the wife should not employ her knowledge and discretion which God hath given her, in the help, and for the good of her husband: but always it must be with condition to submit herself unto him, acknowledging him to be her head, that finally they may so agree in one, as the conjunction of marriage doth require. Yet as when in a Lute or other musical instrument, two strings concurring in one tune, the sound nevertheless is imputed to the strongest and highest: so in a well ordered household, there must be a communication and consent of counsel and will between the husband and the wife: yet such, as the counsel and commandment may rest in the husband. True it is that some women are wiser and more discreet than their husbands: as Abigail the wife of Nabal, and others. Whereupon Solomon saith: A wise woman buildeth up the house: and blessed is the man that hath a Pro. 14. 1. & 18. 22. & 19 14. & 31. all. discreet wife. Yet still a great part of the discretion of such women shall rest in acknowledging their husbands to be their heads, and so using the graces that they have received of the Lord, that their husbands may be honoured, not contemned, either of them or of others: which falleth out contrarie, when the wife will seem wiser than the husband. So that this modesty and government ought to be in a wife: namely, that she should seldom speak, but to her husband, or by her husband. And as the voice of him that soundeth a trumpet, is not so loud, as the sound that it yieldeth: so is the wisdom and word of a woman, of greater virtue and efficacy, when all that she knoweth, and can do, is, as if it were said and done by her husband. The obedience that the wife oweth to her husband, dependeth upon this subjection of her will and wisdom unto him: as 1. Peter 3. 6. Ephesians. 5. 33. Ester. 1. 12. So that women may not provoke their husbands by disobedience, in matters that may be performed without offence to God: neither presume over them, either in kindred or wealth, or obstinately to refuse in a matter that may trouble household peace and quiet. For disobedience begetteth contempt of the husband, and contempt wrath, and is many times the cause of troubles between the man and the wife. If the obedience importeth any difficulty, she may for her excuse gently propound the same: yet upon condition to obey (in case the husband should persist in his intent) so long as the discommodity importeth no wickedness. For it is better to continue peace by obedience, then to break it by resistance. And indeed it is natural in the members to obey the conduct and government of the head. Yet must not this obedience so far extend, as that the husband should command any thing contrary to her honour, credit, and salvation, but as it is comely in the Lord: Colos. 3. 16. Ephes. 5. 13. Therefore, as it were a monstrous matter, and the means to overthrow the person, that the body should in refusing all subjection and obedience to the head, take upon it to guide itself, and to command the head: so were it for the wife to rebel against the husband. Let her then beware of disordering and 〈◊〉 the course which God in his wisdom hath established: and withal let her understand, that going about it, she riseth not so much against her husband, as against God: and that it is her good and honour to obey God in her subjection and obedience to her husband. If in the practice of this duty she find any difficulty or trouble, through the inconsiderate course of her husband, or otherwise; let her remember, that the same proceedeth not of the order established by the Lord, but through some sin afterward crept in, which hath mixed gall among the honey of the subjection and obedience that the woman should have enjoyed in that estate, wherein, together with Adam, she was created after the Image of God. And so let her humble herself in the sight of God, and be well assured that her subjection and obedience is acceptable unto him: and that the more that the image of God is restored in her and her husband through the generation of the holy Ghost, the less difficulty she shall find in that subjection and obedience, as many in their marriage have in deed tried, to their great contentment and consolation. Further there is a certain discretion and desire required of women, to please the nature, inclinations, and manners of their husbands, so long as the same import no wickedness. For as the lookingglass, howsoever fair and beautifully adorned, is nothing worth if it show that countenance sad which is pleasant, or the same pleasant that is sad: So the woman deserveth no commendation, that (as it were) contrarying her husband, when he is merry showeth herself sad, or in sadness uttereth her mirth. For as men should obey the laws of their Cities, so women the manners of their husbands. To some women a beck of her husband is sufficient to declare that there is somewhat amiss that displeaseth him, and specially if she bear her husband any reverence. For an honest Matron hath no need of any greater staff, but of one word, or one sour countenance. Moreover, a modest and chaste woman that loveth her husband, must also love her house, as remembering that the husband that loveth his wife, cannot so well like of the sight of any tapestry, as to see his wife in his house. For the woman that gaddeth from house to house to prate, confoundeth herself, her husband and family: Titus 2. 5. But there are four reasons why the woman is to go abroad. First, to come to holy meetings, according to the duty of godliness. The second, to visit such as stand in need, as the duty of love and charity doth require. The third, for employment and provision in household affairs committed to her charge. And lastly with her husband, when he shall require her. Gen. 20. 1. etc. The evil and unquiet life that some women have, and pass with their husbands, is not so much for that they commit The wife must keep a good tongue. When the wife doth hold her peace, she keeps the peace. with, and in their persons, as it is for that they speak with their tongues. If the wife would keep silence when her husband beginneth to chide, he should not have so unquiet dinners, neither she the worse supper. Which surely is not so: for at the same time that the husband beginneth to utter his grief, the wife beginneth The cause of domestical combats. Silence becometh a woman. to scold and chafe: whereof doth follow, that now and then most unnaturally they come to handy-gripes, more beastlike than Christianlike: which their so doing is both a great shame and foul discredit to them both. The best means therefore that a wife can use to obtain and maintain the love and good liking of her husband, is to be silent, obedient, peaceable, patient, studious to appease his choler if he be angry, painful, and diligent in looking to her business, to be solitary and honest. The chief and special cause why most women do fail in Lack of knowledge of God's word, is the principal cause why wives do not their duties to their husbands not performing this duty to their husbands is, because they be ignorant of the word of God, which teacheth the same and all other duties: and therefore their souls and consciences, not being brought into subjection to God and his word, they can never until then yield and perform true subjection and obedience to their husbands, and behave themselves so every way, as Christian wives are in duty bound to do. But if wives be not so dutiful, serviceable and subject to their husbands as in conscience they ought, the only cause thereof for the most part is, the want and neglect of the wise, discreet, and good government that should be in the husbands: besides the want of good example that they should give unto their wives both in word and deed. For as the common saying is, such a husband such a wife. For so much as marriage maketh of two persons one; therefore the love of the husband and wife may the better be kept and increased, and so continued, if they remember the duties last spoken of, as also not forget three points following. 1. They must be of one heart, will, and mind, One heart and one will. and neither to upbraid or cast the other in the teeth with their wants and imperfections any ways, or to pride themselves in their gifts: but either the one to endeavour to supply the others wants, that so they both helping and doing their best together, may be one perfect body. 2. It doth greatly increase love, when the one How the love, faithfulness, and duty of married folks may be kept & increased. faithfully serveth the other: when in things concerning marriage, the one hideth no secrets nor privities from the other, and the one doth not utter or publish the frailties or infirmities of the other, and when of all that ever they obtain or get, they have but one common purse together; the one locking up nothing from the other: and also when the one is faithful to the other in all business and affairs. Likewise when the one hearkeneth to the other, & when the one thinketh not scorn of the other: and when in matters concerning the government of the house, the one will be counselled and advised by the other; the one of them being always loving, kind, courteous, plain, and gentle unto the other; in words, manners, and deeds. 3. Let the one learn ever to be obsequious, diligent, and serviceable to the other in all honest things. And this will the sooner come to pass, They must secretly keep no evil will in their minds, but tell their grief. if the one observe and mark what thing the other can away withal, or cannot away withal: and what pleaseth or displeaseth them, and so from thence-foorth to do the one, and to leave the other undone. And if one of them be angry, and offended with the other, then let the party grieved open and make known unto the other their grief in due time, and with discretion. For the longer a displeasure or evil will rages in secret, the worse will be the discord. And this must be observed, that it be done in a fit and convenient time: because there is some season in the which if grief's were showed it should make great debate. And if the wife would go about to tell or admonish her husband when he is out of patience or moved with anger, it should then be no fit time to talk with him. Therefore Abigail perceiving Nabal her 1. Sam. 25. 36. 37. husband to be drunk, would not speak to him until the morning. Both the husband and wife must remember, that the one be not so offended and displeased with the manners of the other, 1. Cor. 7. 10. 11 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. that they should thereupon forsake the company one of another: for that were like to one that being stung with the Bees, would therefore forsake the bony. And therefore no man may put away his wife Mat. 19 6. Mat. 19 9 Luke 16. 18. for any cause, except for whoredom, which must be duly proved before a lawful judge. But all godly and faithful married folks are to commend their state and marriage to God, by humble and fervent prayer, that he for his beloved Son's sake would so bless them and their marriage, that they may so Christianly and dutifully agree between themselves, that they may have no cause of any separation or divorcement. For like as all manner of medicines (& specially they that go nighest death, as to cut off whole members, etc.) are very loathsome and terrible: even so is divorcement indeed a medicine, but a perilous and terrible medicine. Therefore every good Christian husband and wife ought with all care and heedfulness so to live in marriage, that they have no need of such a medicine. As the holy Scripture maketh mention of many wives and women that were wicked and ungodly, as partly may be seen by these quotations, 1. King. 1. 2. Prou. 7. 27 and 22. 14. and 25. 24. and 27. 15. Eccles. 7. 28. So chose, the same sacred Scripture also commendeth unto us many women that have been devout, religious, and virtuous; as partly is manifest by that which hath been already said: and also by these places of Scripture, Ruth 2. 11. 1. Sam. 25. 3. Pro. 14. 1. and 31. 10. Mat. 28. 1. 8. 9 10. Luke 8. 2. 3. and 23. 55. 56. Acts 1. 14. and 17. 4. and 9 36. 39 2. joh. 1. 2. Tim. 1. 5. And whosoever shall observe it in the reading of the word of God, shall find that it speaketh of the praise of as many, and more good women than men. Yea, and I am persuaded that if at this day a due survey should be taken of all the men & women throughout his Majesty's dominions, there would be found in number more women that are faithful, religious, and virtuous The wife ought to obey her husband in all things that be honest, and agreeable to God's word. than men. Now if a wife be desirous to know how far she is bound to obey her husband: the Apostle resolveth this doubt; where he saith, Ephesians 5. 22. Wives submit yourselves unto your husbands as to the Lord. As if he had said, wives cannot be disobedient to their husbands, but they must resist God also, who is the author of this subjection: and that they must regard their husband's will, as the Lords will. But yec withal, as the Lord commandeth that which is good & right: so she should obey her husband in good and right, or else she doth not obey him as the Lord, but as the tempter. The first subjection of the woman began at sin. For when God cursed her, for seducing her husband, when the serpent had deceived her, he said, He shall have Gen. 3. 16. authoritts over thee. And therefore as the man named all other creatures, in sign that they should be subject to him, as a servant which cometh when his master calleth him by his name: so he did name the woman also, in token that she should be subject unto him likewise. And therefore Assuerus made a law, that Hest. 1. 20. 22. Numb. 30. 7. 8 9 1. Pet. 3. 6. every man should bear rule in his own house, and not the woman. Because she sinned first, therefore she is humbled most: and ever since, the daughters of Sarah are bound to call their husband's Lord, as Sarah called her husband: that is, to take them for heads and governors. Amongst the particular duties that a Christian It is a special duty of a mother to give her children suck herself. wife ought to perform in her family, this is one: namely, that she nurse her own children: which to omit, and to put them forth to nursing, is both against the law of nature, and also against the will of God. Besides, it is hurtful both for the child's body, and also for his wit; & lastly, it is hurtful to the mother herself, and it is an occasion that she falleth into much 〈◊〉 thereby. First, nature giveth milk to the woman for none other end, but that she should bestow it upon her child. We see by experience, that every beast, and every fowl is nourished and bred of the same that did bear it: only some women love to be mothers, but not nurses. As therefore every tree doth cherish and nourish that which it bringeth forth: even so also, it becometh 1. Tim. 5. 10. natural mothers to nourish their children with their own milk. Secondly, the examples of the Scriptures are many that prove this. As Sarah, who nursed Isaac, Gen. 22. 7. though she were a Princess; and therefore able enough to have had others to have taken that pains. Though she was a beautiful woman, and of great years, yet she herself nursed and gave suck to her son. Also Anna, unto whom the holy Ghost hath 1. Sam. 1. 23. Exod. 8. Cant. 8. 1. Psal. 22. 9 left it recorded (as a commendation,) that she nursed her own son Samuel. So when God chose a nurse for Moses, he led the handmaid of pharao's daughter to his mother: as though God would have none to nurse him but his mother. Like wise when the Mat. 2. 14. Luke 2. 7. 12. Son of God was borne, his Father thought none fit to be his nurse, but the blessed virgin his mother. It is a commendation of a good woman, 1. Tim. 5. 10. and set down in the first place as a principal good work in a widow that is well reported of, if she have nursed her children. And therefore such as refuse thus to do, may well and fitly be called nice and unnatural mothers: yea, in so doing they make themselves but half mothers, and so break the holy bond of nature, in locking up their breasts from their children, and delivering them forth like the Cuckoo to be hatched in the sparrow's nest. Thirdly, the children's bodies be commonly so affected as the milk is which they receive. Now if the nurse be of an evil complexion, as she is affected in her body, or in her mind, or hath some hidden disease, the child sucking of her breast must needs take part with her. And if that be true which the learned do say, that the temperature of the mind follows the constitution of the body, needs must it be, that if the nurse be of a naughty nature, the child must take thereafter. Yet if it be so that the nurse be of a good complexion, and of an honest behaviour, (whereas chose, maidens that have made a escape are commonly called to be Nurses) yet can it not be but that the mother's milk should be much more natural for the child then the milk of a stranger. As by experience, let a man be long accustomed to one kind of drink, if the same man change his air and his drink, he is like to mislike it, as the eggs of a hen are altered under a hawk. Nevertheless, such women as be oppressed with infirmities, diseases, want of milk, or other just and lawful causes, are to be dispensed withal. But whose breasts have this perpetual drought? Forsooth, it is like the gout, no beggars may have it, but Citizens or Gentlewomen. In the ninth of Hosea, verse 14. dry breasts are named for a curse. What a lamentable hap have Gentlewomen to light upon this curse more than others? Sure if their breasts be dry (as they say they are) they should fast and pray together, that this curse might be removed from them. And lastly, that it is hurtful to the mothers themselves, both Physicians can tell; and some women full oft have felt when they have been troubled with sore breasts: besides other diseases that happen to them through plenty of milk. The wise is further to remember, that God hath given her two breasts; not that she should employ and use them for a show, or of ostentation, but in the service of God, and to be a help to her husband in suckling the child common to them both. Experience teacheth, that God converteth the mother's blood into the milk wherewith the child is nursed in her womb. He bringeth it into the breasts furnished with nipples; convenient to minister the warm milk unto the child: whom he endueth with industry to draw out the milk for his own sustenance. The woman therefore that can suckle her child and doth it not, but resuseth this office and duty of a mother, declareth herself to be very unthankful to God, and (as it were) forsaketh and contemneth the fruit of her womb. And therefore the bruit beasts lying upon the ground, and granting not one nipple or two, but six or seven to their young ones, shall rise in judgement against these dainty half-mothers', who for fear of wrinkling of their faces, or to avoid some small labour, do refuse this so necessary a duty of a mother due to her children. The properties due to a married wife are, that she have gravity when she walketh abroad: wisdom to govern her house, patience to suffer her husband, love to breed and bring up her children, courtesy towards her neighbours, diligence, to lay up, and to save such goods as are within her charge: that she be a friend of honest company, and a greater enemy of want on and light toyed. So then, the principal duty of the wife, is, first, to be subject to her husband, Ephes. 5. 22. Colloss. 3. 18. 1. Pet. 3. 1. 2. To be chaste and shamefast, modest and silent, godly and discreet. 3. To keep herself at home for the good government of her family, and not to stray abroad without just cause. Here it is not to be pretermitted, but we must Stepfathers & stepmothers their duties. say somewhat touching men and women that betwise married, and so become step-fathers' and stepmother's. Such husbands and wives as The husband must so praise his first wife, & she her first husband, as it be not done to the offence or reproach of either to the other. marry again after the death of their first wives, or first husbands, are carefully to remember that they do not displease their wives or their husbands which they now have, by overmuch rehearsing of their first wife or first husband. For the course and condition of the world is such, that husbands and wives do account and reckon things past better than things that be present. And the reason is, because no commodity jealousy, which is the suspecting of adultery in the married parties, ought wisely and carefully to be suppressed in both parties without apparent matter or felicity is so great, but it hath some grief and displeasure, and also some bitterness mingled with it: which so long as it is present grieveth us sore, but when it is once gone, it leaveth no great feeling of itself behind it: and for that cause we seem to be less troubled with sorrows and discommodities past, then with those that are present. Also age stealeth and cometh on apace, which causeth both men and women to be the less able to sustain and endure troubles and griefs then before. Therefore such men and women as be twice married, and be wise and religious, ought not to esteem their wife or husband which is dead, better than her or him which they enjoy now alive: remembering the common proverb: That we must live by the quick and not by the dead: and that we must make much of that we now have. Let the name of stepfather and stepmother, admonish and put them in mind of their duty towards the children of the one and the other. For stepfather and stepmother, doth signify a sted-father and a sted-mother, that is; one father and one mother dyeth, The very name of stepfather & stepmother teacheth them their duty. and another succeedeth and cometh in their stead and room. Therefore to the end that both their loves may be seiled towards the children of the one and the other, they must remember, that they are stead-father and stead-mother; that is, in stead of their own father and mother: and therefore they ought to love them, to tender them, and to cherish them, as their own father or mother did. You must not look upon them like Rehoboam, who told his people that he would be worse unto them than his predecessor: for then the children will dislike of you, and turn from you, as his subjects did from him: but ye must come to them as David came to the people after Saules death, 1. King. 12. 13. 2. Sam. 2. 7. who said, Though your Master Saul be dead, yet I will reign over you: So ye must say to them; though your father be dead, or though your mother be dead, yet I will be a father, or I will be a mother unto you: so the children will love you, as much as they did their dead father, or dead mother. For that man that is led with discretion, reason, and consideration, will reckon himself and his wife all one: And likewise, she will account herself and her husband as one. And therefore they ought to account both the children of the one and of the other as common to them both. For if friendship make all things common among friends, insomuch that they have loved & favoured their friends children as their own, how much more effectually and perfectly ought marriage to cause the same, which is the highest degree, not only of friendship but also of all blood and kindred. But stepmother's do more often offend, and fail in this duty than men, by reason that their affections be stronger than men's, and many times overrule them: and therefore they are earnestly to be admonished and warned, that they show to those motherless children no stepmother's friendship, but a right motherly kindness. Let the stepmother advisedly consider, that God hath ordained and appointed her (in steast. of their own mother) to be to them a right true mother, and not only to regard them as children, but as orphan children, and that he requireth her to love them, and to do them good as to her own. What a grief would it be to her heart, if she should know now that her own children whom she hath borne in her own body, should (after her death) have a stepmother that would be rigorous, churlish, and unkind unto them? Doubtless those children's mother that dead is, had upon her deathbed no less care for her children. Let her therefore always have in mind this saying of our Saviour Christ: As you measure unto others, so it shall be measured to you again: that is, as the stepmother doth entreat the children of her predecessor, so another wife may come after her, and entreat her children. For he that took away the first mother, and sent her, can take away the second mother, and send a third, which will not be like a stead-mother to hers, unless she be like a stead-mother to these. Verily, a good woman will be unto her husband's children, that which she may hear them call her so often, that is, Mother. For what Christian woman is so far from all humanity and natural affection, that will not be moved and mitigated with this word Mother, of whom soever it be spoken? and chiefly of children, which cannot flatter, but speak even so from their heart, as they would to their own mother, of whom they were borne. How sweet is the name of friendship? how many injuries, hatreds and displeasures doth it hide and put away? Then how much more effectual ought the sweet name of Mother to be, which is full of incredible love? Therefore every religious and loving wife will be mollified and moved in her heart and mind, when she shall hear herself named Mother by any of her husband's children. Otherwise, she shall show herself to be more unnatural and unkind than the wild savage beast: for there is no beast so outrageous and cruel, but if any other young beast of her own kind fawn upon her, she will by and by show kindness and mildness unto it. And shall not her husband's children make her kind & loving unto them, when they call and speak unto her, by the loving and sweet name of Mother? 3. The third and last point that appertaineth As wives ought to go comely, plainly, and handsomely in their 〈◊〉, so they must in any wise beware of pride, riot, or excess therein. to the duty of wives, is, that they do not wear gorgeous and sumptuous apparel, or broidered hair trimmed with gold: but that after the example of holy women which trusted in God, they be sober in outward apparel, & garnished and decked inwardly with virtues of their minds; as with gentleness, meekness, quietness, and chastity; which indeed are most precious things in the sight of God. This point is plainly spoken of by the Apostle to Timothy Chap. 2. vers. 10 in which place, he so flatly condemneth both the excess and pride of Pride is hateful before God and man: be not therefore proud, for thou art but dust ana ashes. apparel as also the pomp, curiosity, and wantonness which women use in trimming their heads; by plaiting, criping, broyding, curling, and curiously laying out, that no man can say more against it in few words, than he hath spoken to the utter dislike thereof. For if a man should occupy himself, and give liberty to his pen to write of the horrible abuse and excessive pride that many women are guilty of in this behalf, he should rather want time to write, than matter to deliver. Therefore, such women as will not reform themselves, we leave them to the Lord; who (no doubt will in his appointed time, not only severely punish them, but also their husbands for suffering this great wickedness and dissoluteness in their wives, as he did the jews for the same sin, as plainly may be teene in Esay 3. 16. etc. For so it falleth out according to the common Proverb; that pride goeth before, and shame and destruction cometh after. And on the contrary Prou. 16. 18. part, we hope that such women as be true professors of Christ and his religion, will both attire and dress their heads so decently, and also content themselves with such comely apparel, as best beseemeth their calling and degree; So as by their good example they may draw on Titus 1. 3. other women to reform themselves in this behalf; and so rather come short of that which their ability and place would serve to maintain, than any way to exceed therein, to the slander of their profession. And let them not so much regard what thing they would fain have, but rather what they Temperance in apparel. cannot well be without: so that whatsoever they have no need of, is too dear of a farthing. The duty of Parents towards their children. THis duty consisteth in four points. First, that fathers and mothers The duty containeth four points: Namely in teaching or instructing them in religion, in manners, good example of life, and skill of an occupation. do instruct and bring up their children (even from the cradle) in the fear & nurture of the Lord. Secondly, that they bring them up in shame fastness, hatred of vice, and love of all virtue. Thirdly, that they be unto their children examples of all godliness and virtue. Fourthly that they keep them from idleness, the mother of all mischiefs, and bring them up either in learning, or in some good art or occupation, whereby they may get their living with honesty and truth, when they shall come to age, and years of discretion. 1. Touching the first point. Parents are to The first point. be admonished; that they bear in mind, that the cause why the Lord hath blessed them with children, is: First, that they should be careful to see that their children be so virtuously brought up, that they may become Citizens of the Church of God; so that whensoever they themselves shall die in the Lord, they may leave their children true worshippers of God in their place. But alas, there be few that have any great care of this duty. It is to be remembered, that it is the father's duty, with all convenient speed to present the child to baptism, and there to give the name unto his child: as may appear by the example, Luke 1. 3. Gen. 21. 3. And it were a thing to be wished, that all parents, when, and at such time as God blesseth The children of Christians ought not to be called by any papish name. them with children, would give them such names as are named and commended unto us in the holy. Scriptures, to the end that when they come to years of discretion, they by hearing those names, may be excited and moved to follow the virtuous life and Christian conversation of those men and women whose names they bear, which the holy Ghost hath commended them for, and chose to 〈◊〉 We are neither better nor worse in respect of our names. josua 10. 3. and avoid those faults and vices which are discommended in them. And yet we have to remember, that those children which are named and called by, and after any of the names of the 〈◊〉, Prophets, Apostles, or by the name of any other Saint, man or woman, are not any thing the better, because they have such godly and Christian names, unless that they do imitate and follow them, in faith, virtue, The name profiteth none in whom virtue is not convinced. and godly behaviour: so on the other side, they that be not called by such Christian names as are mentioned in the sacred Scripture, are not in respect of their names any thing the worse, having an assured faith in the merits of Christ his death, passion, and blood: shedding, and leading their lives agreeable to the same. For as neither the revenues, nor the glorious titles and names of ancestors, 〈◊〉 descend of noble parentage, maketh men noble and renowned indeed, unless they themselves be godly, honest, and wise: so neither the godly names, no nor yet the faith and virtue of the fathers, availeth the wicked and ungodly children any thing at all, unless they repent and become faithful and godly, as they were. Let us here consider, that so often as in the race of our life we do hear, or do speak of our name, it doth put us in remembrance, first of God's mercy showed unto us in our baptisine: secondly, of our promise to God again. And as in times amongst our ancestors, Infants had their names given them when they were circumcised, as appeareth in Luke, no doubt to this end, that Luk. 1. 59 & 2. 21. the circumcised should be admonished by the calling by their names, at what time and place Proper names are also given unto us for this use and end, that is, to distinguish between man & man. they had their names given them, and would think that they are written in the number of the children of God, and joined in league with him, and made partakers of his covenant: so likewise after the same manner, must we that have had our names given us in baptism, remember and bear in mind, that we are by grace adopted to be the sons of God, and received into his favour, and therefore that we are Gods own, and as it were his goods and riches, who bear his name as proper unto him. 2. Secondly, they may assure themselves, that all their labour is lost which they bestow upon their children, unless they bring them up in the fear of God, and oftentimes call upon God's help by earnest prayer, that he in mercy would vouthsafe to preserve them from the manifold snares; subtleties, and temptations of Satan, which their tender age is subject unto. We may hear many parents complain of the disobedience of their children: but they do not mark and consider that they are justly punished by God, for that they think by their own industry and wit to make them good and virtuous, without God's blessing, which they seldom or never call for in good earnest. 3. Thirdly, let them consider how noble a thing a child is, whom God himself hath shaped and form in his mother's womb, nourished, brought forth into the light, and endued with body and soul, to the end he should (as it were in a table) represent God his first pattern. 4. Fourthly, let them know that these things are to be dealt with all in order. Unto the body they owe nourishment, bringing up, apparel, Instructing, correcting, & prayer, make good children, and happy parents. and sometimes correction, that they may keep children in awe. Unto the soul they owe catechising, instruction, and doctrine: and that of two sorts; namely, of godliness, and of civility. By the one, they shall keep a good conscience before God; by the other, they shall obtain a good report among men. For these are the two principal points, which parents ought to be most careful to plant in this life in their children, both which the Apostle comprehendeth in one verse, where he saith, Ephes. 1. 4. Ye fathers provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in instruction, and information of the Lord. And therefore all parents are diligently to instruct and teach their children the first principles of Christ his Religion, so soon as by age they are able to perceive and understand the same, that they may (as it were) suck in godliness together with their mother's milk, and straightways after their cradle, may be nourished with the tender food of virtue, towards that blessed life. To have godly children (no doubt) is the greatest treasure that may be. For in the children do the parents live, (in a manner) after their death. And if they be well instructed, catechised, and virtuously brought up, God is honoured by them, the Commonwealth is advanced; yea, their parents, and all other fare the better for them. They are their parent's comfort, next unto God, their joy, staff, and upholding of their age: and therefore parents ought to begin betimes to plant virtue in their children's breasts: for late sowing, bringeth a late, or never apt harvest. Young branches will bow as a man will have them, but old trees will sooner break than bow. And therefore, as arrows are an excellent weapon of defence, to a strong and a mighty man that can shoot them with courage: even so children godly brought up, are a special protection and defence to their parents. And as the strong man's quiver the better it is furnished with chosen shafts, the better defence he hath: so likewise, the more godly children their parents have, the greater is their joy and happinesie. Yea and further, as arrows are at the commandment of the owner to be used: even so children well-taught, are at the commandment of godly parents. 5. Lastly, jet parents remember how many sins they commit and heap one upon another, which do not their duty in bringing up their children as they ought to do. First, they transgress the law of nature, which telleth all men, that their duty is to bring up their children godlily and honestly. Secondly, they sin against Deut. 6. 7. 8 & 4. 9 & 11. 19 Psal. 78. 5. 6. 78. josu, 4. 6. God: for they despise the commandment and authority of God: for he commandeth that children should be brought up religiously, and honestly; but he is a despiser of God, that refuseth to do as he is commanded. Thirdly, they offend against their own credit and estimation. For Gods will is, that parents should, (after a sort) be in his stead, so far forth as pertaineth to outward discipline. But such make Exod. 12. 26. 27. small account of this dignity, who neglect their duty in this behalf. Parents are further to understand, that it is their duty to have diligent care to have their children taught to pray to God, and to rehearse the Apostles Creed, and the ten Commendements. For as by this exercise their hearts and minds shall the rather be inclined to godliness and reverence towards God; so as they increase in age, they shall every day better than other, comprehend that which they learn, to their own comfort, instruction, and salvation. Also, the tongue is called the glory of man, because that besides all other reasons, by his speech he is discerned from the bruit beasts; so it is meet, that so soon as the child can begin to speak, his tongue should be employed to glorify God, by calling upon him, and by learning some short Catechism containing the principles and grounds of Christian religion; as also in repeating the will of God, in such sort as he will that we should serve and honour him. If parents do note and perceive any vice in their little ones, as swearing, lying, choler, envy, filching, covetousness, contempt of parents, readiness to strike, and other like corruptions: it is their duty, diligently, and in time to reprove and correct them, as men use to pluck up weeds while they be yet young, lest growing up among the good seeds, they should hinder their growth, and choke them up. By experience, we can see that mothers in swaddling their little ones, do lay their limbs right, each in his place: likewise, if a child be given to be left handed, they chide him, yea, sometimes they bind it up, or otherwise restrain the use of it, that he may be accustomed to use his right hand. Also, if the child have some string under his tongue, they cut it, lest it should hinder his speech: much more than ought they to beware, that through their negligence the vices of the soul do not increase. For it is the duty of the parents, even in the infancy, to begin to shape and frame the foul unto virtue. It is also the duty of parents to provide that their children may learn, at the least to write and rcade: for it may be unto them a great help in the course of this life and a treasure of much greater account than money. And therefore the negligence ofmany is sharply to be reproved: besides that the performance of this duty doth greatly bind their children unto them. Nevertheless, the principal end thereof, should not have respect to such commodity, as the children may reap thereby towards the use of this present-life: but rather that they may read the word of God to their comfort, and instruction to salvation. Also it 〈◊〉 their parts to use them daily to read some Chapters of the holy Scriptures, thereby to incline and win their affections to the word of God, to inure and acquaint them in the phrase of the holy Ghost, by little and little to learn the heavenly doctrine, to note the examples of God's vengeance poured upon the wicked and disobedient: and of his blessings unto those that walk in his fear. Therefore if parents do look that their children should obey them, then let them join and accustom them to God's word, which will redound much to their parent's profit. If they cause their children to hear and read the holy Scriptures, therein they may learn, Honour thy father and thy mother: but if parents do otherwise, than they train them up in the Scriptures of devils, whereout their children will learn most wicked things: but it is not so when they are instructed in the holy Scriptures. Parents therefore are diligently to apply themselves to this which God commandeth, and so often and earnestly commendeth unto them: namely, to instruct their children in the knowledge and fear ofGod, and in the faith of jesus Christ: Deut. 6. 6. 7. and 32. 46. Ephes. 6. 4. So also to teach them those things which they are to use in their age. It is then great folly to linger children in the learning of vain, 〈◊〉, and unprofitable things, which as they grow in years they will contemn and forget. Parents can be careful enough to bring up their children in some course, trade, or other estate, wherein to get their livings when they come to be men: and verily such fathers as do neglect that, are unworthy to have children. But as the soul is more precious than the body, so is the duty of parents, in youth to train up their children in the practice of those things, wherewith in age, even in this life, they may glorify God, and be heirs of the Lord. If parents want knowledge, or beunwilling to take leisure to teach them; yet let them do as much for their children's souls, and the life to come, as for their bodies and this present life. Parents that either cannot write and read, or will not, or have no time to teach their children, will yet send them to school: and such as would have them learn some art or occupation or traffic, if themselves profess not the same, wherein they like to employ their children, they will yet put them to dwell with those that do profess the same, to the end they may learn. How therefore can parents excuse themselves, when their children remain untaught in those things that concern the glory of God and life everlasting? But howsoever it be, if they be neither able of themselues, nor do provide to have them taught by others, they shall be inexcusable in the sight of God: & the ignorance of the children, engendering contempt of God, love of the world, and neglect of heavenly felicity, will cry out for everlasting vengeance against their parents: so that if they account not their children as beasts without soul, or if they love them with the due love belonging to parents, let them declare their love especially to the soul: the Christian instruction whereof surmounteth all worldly treasure. Some say, it would be a great comfort for them in heaven to know their near kindred, and consequently their children: and this cometh of natural affection. But might it not be a greater discomfort for them, even in their life time, to see them go to hell for want of instruction? Some charge their children to be dull witted, and hard to be bowed, or brought to any goodness or virtue. Albeit natural inclination be a great help to profiting, yet exercise and custom to do well, is a mighty means to bend and sharp them that way: yea, even such, that by experience we find this old Proverb true: Use over cometh nature: as the wheelewright doth by strength bow his timber, and letting it lie long in that bent, it bideth crooked. Barren ground well tilled, soiled, and sown with good seed, groweth fruitful, and yieldeth good increase: iron weareth with handling: the water by continual dropping weareth the stone: wild beasts may be tamed: and wild colts by custom are brought to the saddle, and are content to be led by the bridle: even so the dullest capacities may by instruction and custom be fashioned to virtue. As chose, the wiz most inclined by nature to virtue, may by bad instruction and the conversation of the wicked be perverted and grow vicious. Parents therefore are herein to respect two points: first, to begin to frame and bend their children in their tender youth to virtue, remembering that a seal entereth deepest into softest wax. They must be careful that they do not speak or tell any foolish tales, bawdy rhymes, or ungodly speeches before their children, lest they infect their tender wits with folly and astonishment. Experience showeth, that children will sooner learn any language by conversation then elder folks. Also that the younger the twig is, the sooner it is bend or made strait. Secondly, it is the parents duty to restrain their children from haunting and conversing with such as be vicious, perverse, and wicked. And undoubtedly we see that they do soon learn villainous and unseemly speeches, and malicious lewd actions, with their corruptions: and as the old Proverb saith, halting with the lame, they shall learn to halt. A child that naturally speaketh well, by conversing with such as corrupt their speech, shall degenerate and speak as badly. Tie a young twig that is crooked, with a strait one that is stronger than it, and in growing it will become strait, and so continue when it is undone. And chose, a strait one tied to that which is crooked, and stronger than itself, will grow and continue crooked. Moreover, parents when they mean to put forth their children to any trade or occupation, or to learning, than they ought carefully to see and inquire whether such as they think to place them withal, be religious and virtuous, and endued with the fear of God. In the admittance of a servant, the fear of some temporal or carnal inconvenience, causeth men to inquire of his, or her truth, honesty, or other qualities. Therefore if parents shall commit their child to the ordering and instruction of a master, before they make enquiry of his honesty and Christian conversation, they plainly show, that they have less care of the corrupting or infecting of their child with vice, then of some small inconvenience that might happen by an unhonest and unthrifty servant. When men buy an earthen pot, they sound upon it, to see whether it be broken, lest they should be deceived in a small piece of money, yet do they not sound whether the master to whom they commit their child be vicious, or virtuous: albeit by putting and placing him with one that is vicious and irreligious, they put him in danger of loss, both of body and soul. Some do respect their friendship with some masters rather than their virtue, and so do commit to them their children, lest they should be angry for putting them to another. These men do resemble and be like him, who being dangerously sick, useth the advice of an ignorant Physician, that is his kinsman or familiar friend, for fear he should take offence if he should call another, albeit, without comparison, more learned and skilful. If thou shouldest liave any weighty matter in law, wouldst thou rather commit thy cause to an ignorant and negligent attorney, because he is thy friend, then to him that were both diligent and learned? Making a voyage through some dangerous sea, wouldst thou in a tempest commit thy ship to a young Pilot, unskilful or drunk, because he is thy friend? What a fool art thou, that wilt not take the like care of the profit, honour, safety, and salvation of thy child? Others commit their children either to him that will take them at the easiest rate, or by whom they may grow into greatest advancement in the world, but never respect the hazard of their child, so they may either spare, or get worldly goods. Let them also be careful to restrain their children from vice, and to inure and accustom them to virtue: and indeed the fathers that instruct, or cause their children to be instructed, do far excel such as only do beget them: for of these they 〈◊〉 life only, of the other good and virtuous life. Yet parents ought not so much to rely and rest upon the diligence of their children's masters, as never to care to understand how they profit and go forward in learning and virtue: for the regard of such diligence would make the master's more carefully to discharge their duties. And thereof came the Proverb; The master's eye fatteth the horse: and this, The master's eye is the fruitfulness of the garden. Upon these sins ensue many punishments, both ghostly and bodily, as well in the parents, as in the children: yea, and in all the posterity. The holy Scripture giveth great commendation to sundry men and women, for their godly education, and virtuous bringing up of their children: as to Abraham, for he commanded Gen. 18. 19 1. 〈◊〉. 28. 9 Act. 10. 2. 2. Tim. 1. 5. his sons and his household, to keep the way of the Lord. So David counselled his son 〈◊〉 to serve God with a perfect heart, and a willing mind. It is said also of Cornelius, that he Parents must perform their duty to their children moderately, with great gravity and authority. feared God and all his household. Likewise of Eunice the mother of Timothy, that she nourished up her son in the words of faith, and good doctrine. For where a virtuous and godly childhood goeth before, there a godly and virtuous age followeth after. chose, when the parents are not careful to teach their children to know God, and to know themselves: when they do not breed them up in virtue, nor reprove them when they do amiss, Which is done by example. they then become corrupt in their understanding, and abominable in their doing: ignorant and void of all knowledge and grace, and of reverence or feeling of nature. If parents be desirous to have their children virtuous and honest indeed, (as in conscience they ought) then they must be diligent and careful to practise godliness & honesty themselves. For we see by experience, according to Fruits are wont to take their shape & nature of the tree. the common Proverb. As the old cock croweth, the young learneth; such a father, such a son: & such a mother, such a daughter. For like as when the head is well and sound, and also the stomach pure from hurtful humours, the body is commonly well affected: even so, where the head, or chief of any family or household, is religious, and sound in the faith, and feareth God; it commonly goeth well with all the household. What shall it avail for parents to teach their children honesty and modesty, when they themselves in their works and behaviours do invite them to wantonness and lewdness? Verbal instruction, without example of good deeds, is a dead doctrine; and chose, good examples are the life of instruction, to make it profitable and effectual. If the example of parents be contrary to their instructions, if they teach their children sobriety, modesty, and chastity, and yet themselves will follow drunkenness, fowl & lascivious speeches, gestures, and actions: it is as if with their tongues they should say, be virtuous, and by the hands lead them with them to all vice and corruption. So that wicked parents are wicked counsellors to their children. If we would take him to be a monster in nature, and unworthy to live in a Commonwealth, that should counsel his child to drunkenness and fornication: what shall we think of those, who committing such iniquity, do by their example much more mightily put forwards their children to such abomination, then by word they are able? What account can those parents give unto God, who by their evil example have drawn into hell their children, whom he delivered to their charge to be given into heaven? Albeit such parents pity not themselves, yet at least let them take pity of their children; and not carry them with them into everlasting destruction. Such parents than deserve grievously to be reproved, as shall use any lewd speeches, or shameless behaviour: in brief, any worldly or carnal actions in the presence of their children, to whom their examples may be as a dispensation to give themselves to the like. As also, how can they forbid that in their children, which they themselves do commit? How can they correct them for the faults which they themselves use? Albeit, children in respect and reverence to their parents dare not reply and say; themselves do those things for the which they reprove them; yet will the neighbours or others object it to their shame. Besides, their authority shall be so much the less, in that they declare in their works and actions, that they allow that which they forbid in words. If parents therefore desire that their instruction may be effected and yield fruit, let them declare the same in holy life and virtuous conversation: let them so order and govern themselves, that their children seeing the same, as it were in a glass, may be restrained from dishonest speech, and wicked deeds; let them do as guides that show the right way over fords and rivers, by going before those whom they lead: that their children (following the steps and examples of their parents) may conform themselves to their virtues; and so with them, and by them, be led to salvation and life everlasting. For this cause Moses gave commandment unto Deut. 6. 5. 6. 7. & 31. 13. the jews, that the Law might be kept in their families, that they might prosper in all that they went about. When Obed-Edom had received the Ark of God into his house, which signified true religion, the Lord blessed him and all his household. When the widow of Zarephtah, 1. King. 17. 10. etc. in the days of Eliah, and the other widow of Israel in the days of Elisha, had received the 2. King. 4. 1. etc. Prophets of God into their houses, who is ignorant how mightily and mercifully the Lord provided for them? When our Saviour Christ had joh. 4. 53. restored the Ruler's son to his health, the Ruler believed and all his family. After Zachaus Luke 19 9 had received Christ into his house and was converted, salvation came to the same household. To be short, when Cornelius the Centurion embraced the Gospel, his family also believed & Act. 10. 44. were baptised, and the holy Ghost fell upon them all which heard the preaching. And how well that house was ordered, where Timothy 2. Tim. 1. 5. & 3. 15. was brought up, his knowledge in the Scriptures from a child can witness. And this is also a point worthy to be remembered, that the Lord by his Prophet Ezechiel, calleth the children of the Israelites which they had begotten (his children,) because they were partakers of the Promises, and signed with the seal of the Covenant: and the Prophet calleth Ezech 16. 20. 21. Psal. 127. 3. them, The inheritance of the Lord. Such parents therefore as be Christians must know, that their children are also the children of God, and partakers of those blessings that are promised to them in Christ jesus their Saviour: See more of this point in the use and necessity of catechising. and therefore they shall do great injury to God himself whose children they are, if they shall not see them carefully brought up in his fear: and much more, if they, as before time many have done, bequeath them, & in a manner, consecrate & sacrifice them to the service of men, by thrusting them into Abbeys, Munkeries, Fryeries, Nunneries, and Seminaries, there to be brought up, and remain in perpetual bondage of ignorance, in 〈◊〉 and idolatry. The second point is, that fathers and mothers The second point. do nourish and train up their children in shamefastness, hatred of vice, and love of all virtue. They be charged by the fifth Commandment, to feed, to nourish, and to bring up their children, to teach them the principles and seed of Christian religion, to see they learn the Catechism, Deut. 6. 10. Exed. 12. 26. & 13. 14. to teach them to praise God before and after meals: as also to teach them by little and little, and by often repetitions, to understand The proper duty of good parents to their children, is to 〈◊〉 them soberly, to keep them vender obedience, and to teach them good manners. wherefore the Sacraments were instituted: to teach them manners how to behave themselves decently in their going, in their speaking, and gesture of their bodies: how to order themselves reverently in the Church, how abroad in all places, and towards all men in all honest companies; and so to begin some conscience in them. For it were better for children to be unborn then untaught. Now contrary to this, is, when parents suffer their children to have their will from the beginning: when they discourage and daunt them by severity, & by being too hasty with them, when they let the common ignorance of the word to be rooted in them, and have no care to frame them to learn truth and godliness; and so to prepare them to be apt to receive profit from the public ministry. It is therefore meet for all fathers and mothers, if they will have joy of their children, that then they correct them when they do amiss, Prou. 23. 13. & 19 18. & 19 15. 17. & 22. 15. & 13. 24. & keep them in shamefastness, hatred of vice, & love of all virtue, according as the Wiseman in sundry places. For as the common Proverb is, birch breaketh no bones; neither doth moderate correction bring danger of death: but oftentimes it bridleth & keepeth back the child, that otherwise would run headlong into hell, and so is a mean to save his soul. For the fountain of all virtue, and chief of all man's felicity, is good instruction, and right bringing it. And chose, children evil brought up, bring shame and great heartbreak to their parents. As old Elie was corrected himself, for not 1. Sam. 2. 12. & 3. 12. 13. 14. 1. Kin. 1. 5. 6. correcting his sons; which is a notable example, necessary for all parents to imprint in their hearts: that they may see their children well taught and corrected, lest they procure the wrath of God to fall upon them, as it did upon this Elie, who honoured his children above the Lord, and therefore the Lord cut him and them off. For the comfort he had of his sons was this: the Ark (the witness of the Lords presence) was lost, thirty thousand of the people slain, his two sons, Hophni and Phineas killed; himself, when news thereof came unto him, for sorrow fell backward and broke his neck: upon this his daughter in law fell in travel, and in travel died; the remnant of his house were glad to crave and beg for a small piece of silver and a morsel of bread. Also, the two and forty children that mocked Elisha the Lord's Prophet, saying: Come up thou 2. Kin. 2. 23. 24 Bald-head: were rend in pieces with bears. Thus we see, that children untaught and unchastized, bring shame and confusion to their parents. Let them therefore always remember this, that they provide, and bestow diligent labour, How children should be brought up. Hold thy children in awe, and they shall have thee in reverence. that their children be forthwith instructed in virtue and godliness, whilst their wits are yet void from cares and vices, and whilst their age is tender and tractable, and their minds flexible, and ready to every thing: for than they will keep fast good lessons and virtuous precepts (if they be taught them.) For this is certain, that we remember nothing so well when we be old, as those things we learn in young years. It shall be convenient and profitable therefore, to handle the wax strait way while it is moist: to season those earthen vessels with very good liquor, whilst they are new: to die, and little the wool, while it is fair and white, and not defiled with any spots. The Emmets or Pismires Prou. 30. 25. and 6. 0 7. are not taught to gather into their holes or hillocks in Summer, whereby they should live in winter. Bees learn not to make their cells, to gather juice, and to make honey; but all these things be done by instinction of nature. So every living thing, the less meet it is to learning, so much the more it hath of native prudence: but man neither can eat, nor go, nor speak, except he be taught. Then if fertile fields for want of tillage wax barren; if trees being neglected, either bring forth no fruit, or else the same unsavoury, without diligence or grafting and pruning; if dogs be unmeet to hunt, the horse and oxen unapt to the plough, except man's diligence be put thereto? how vile then and unprofitable creatures would children become, except diligently and in due time they should be fashioned by good bringing up? What a shame is this for any man, to take great care to have his dog well taught, his horse well broken, his land well husbanded, his house goodly trimmed and richly furnished, and yet to have his child shamefully rude in manners, and altogether void of all garnishing and instruction of virtue and godliness? What a great folly and madness is this, for a father to take great care and thought how to get money and possessions, and to have no regard of his child, for whom the same is gotten? This is no less shame to hear, then if a man taking thought for the shoe, would set nought by the foot: or with great care and study would provide that there should be no fault in the child's garments, not regarding the health of his body. This is (as the common saying is) to be penny wise and pound foolish: to save a stick, and burn a house: to save a joint and lose the body. But oh vain man, hast thou more care and desire to leave thy son fair buildings, and full of lands, then for to instruct him in the way of godliness, and so leave him a virtuous consceince? Hast thou rather a desire to hoard up treasure for him, with Mat. 6. 19 rust and moth to be consumed, then to teach him the knowledge of God, which will not canker but last for aye? Most parents (a pitiful thing to remember) be loving to the bodies of their children, but their souls they care not for: they desire their welfare in this world, but they pass not what they shall suffer in the world to come. Yea fathers provide lands, rents, revenues, great annuities, fees and offices for their children here: but alas, few provide or be careful to have them brought up in virtue, and the fear of God. For the loss of their lives and bodies, they will sore bewail and much jament: but the health and salvation of their souls they make no reckoning of. If they see them poor and sick, they sorrow and sigh; but though they see them sin, and greatly displease God, they are nothing grieved. It behooveth that parents do carefully observe, unto what vices their children are most inclined, and so by good means admonish and draw them from their sin. As parents be careful to provide temporal things for their children's bodies, which are transitory: so much more careful aught they to be to provide spiritual things for their souls. And as they be diligent to keep the bodies of their children from fire and water when they be young: so much more they ought to take care, that their souls be not poisoned with vices, and false and erroneous doctrine, when they come to years of discretion: and this is the most acceptable service that they can do to God. Children are called the fruit of their parents. Therefore, as sal. 127. 3. lat. 12. 33. a good tree is known by bringing forth good fruit: so parents should show their goodness in the good education of their children, which are their fruit. To teach a child in the trade of his way, as Solomon commandeth, Prou. 22. 6. is, not only to instruct him unto godliness, but also unto all other humane duties: wherefore this duty than belongeth unto parents, and they are bound to do it. For who should teach and inform Reasons. the child, but they which have the government and commanding of him? But it is well known, that parents only have the government and commanding of their children, or such as they shall procure for their better education, and therefore this charge and duty lieth upon them, and they must look unto it. Again, this is apparent even by the general law of nature, which hath taught the very bruit beasts to bring up their young. And further, this duty is yet enforced from the opportunity of the thing commanded. For even as a plant will sooner take nourishment, and thrive better in the soil where it first grew or sprung up, then in any other ground, because it liketh his own soil best: so children will sooner take instruction and good nurture from their parents, whom they best like, and from whom they had their first being, then from any other: and therefore you parents are in fault, if your children be not well taught. For whatsoever good cometh from the parent to the child, is natural and kindly, no otherwise then the warm milk from the mother's dug: you shall sooner be heard of your children, then either the sage counsel of the ancient, or the forcible and moving speech of the learned. Lastly, the rule of justice doth require, that even as the first parent Gen. 5. 3. Adam, and so all other after him, have been a mean of falling to their posterity, in the begetting of children in their own image, which according to the law of creation, should have been borne God's Image: so now in lieu of this, all parents should lend their hands to lift them up again, & never cease until they see in some measure the beauty of the first Image, and the virtue of the second Adam. This is confirmed by many testimonies of Scripture, as amongst other these do prove. Deut. 4. 9 and 11. 18. 19 Ephes. 6. 4. Psal. 78. 5. And because this duty of parents, is many times committed to Schoolmasters, to Masters of families, to Dames, to Patrons, and Guardians, and such like: they must therefore understand, whosoever they be, that they are bound by the voice of the Almighty, to perform and to do the duty of parents, to all such as are committed to their charge, as if they were their own children. Now, the vices which some parents commit, in not performing these duties before and after named, and aught of them to be eschewed, are these. First, the ignorance of the parents: as if they be so rude that they be not able to teach their children, than they greatly offend God in the breach of this so necessary a duty: and therefore they must indcuour to get so much nurture and knowledge, as that they may be able to instruct others under them. The second vice is, the profaneness of many parents, who so they may provide livelihood and necessaries for their children, they care for no more. The third vice is committed of such poor parents, which make no great choice with what Masters and Dames they place their children, so they may have meat and drink enough, and wages thereto competent, and are neither back-beaten nor belly-beaten, as they say. Alas, such poor children, while they serve for their bellies, they may lose their souls, because they want godly masters and dames to give them wholesome instruction, to hold them in by good example, and to govern them continually in the fear of the Lord. Wherefore here let all parents learn, that it is their duty to make choice of such masters and dames for their children, as are godly and religious, wise hearted, such as are both able and well disposed, to train up youth in all good nurture and God's service: and not only this (for the greatest care of all lieth upon the parents) but also they must so often as conveniently they may, repair unto them, and see how they profit, and hold them up by their good counsel, and be careful to entreat those which have the government of them, to be good unto them, in this chief point above the rest. For (as Solomon saith:) Life and Prou. 18. 21. death is in the power of the tongue: so we may well say, life and death is in the education of our children. If they be well brought up, it shall be life unto them: but if it be otherwise, they are trained up to everlasting death. 4. The fourth vice is, the fault of many masters and dames, who make no further reckoning of their servants, than they do of their bruit beasts. For so long as their work and business be well done by them, they care for no more, and they will teach them no further than may serve for their own turn and benefit: that is, to be a profitable servant unto them. Such masters make their servant's drudges to the world and the devil: and the life of such youth dieth while it shooteth up. All these sin and trespass against the will and word of God, because they are contrary to good nurture and godly instruction. Parents must be very careful that their children may learn some occupation, or profession of life: and this is either mechanical, which we call handicraft: or liberal, which is the learning of schools: and the end of this is, either to get their living honestly, and in God's ordinance, or else, if they want no maintenance, to apply their profession and trade to the benefit of the Commonwealth. No child of what birth or stock soever he be, aught to want this instruction and bringing up. If thou say, my child hath no need of any trade: yet the Commonwealth and God's Church hath need of him: for no man is borne for himself, but his friends will require one part, his kindred another, and his country the third. And if handicrafts like thee not, thou hast the liberal Sciences, of which no man ever was yet ashamed, but many have made them their crown of glory. Saul was anointed King, while he was seeking 1. Sam. 9 2. etc. and. 16. his father's Asses: and David was taken from the sheepfold, to feed with his wisdom, 11. Psal. 78. 70. 71. and govern with prudence, that honourable people the children of Israel. And again, we read that those two famous Prophets, 1. Kin. 19 19 Amos 1. 2. Elisha and Amos, the one was called from the plough, and the other from keeping of beasts: which examples do plainly teach us, that the great and reverend God despiseth no honest trade of life, be it never so mean, but crowneth it with his blessing, to draw all good minds to his holy ordinance. But now adays, such is the pride of our hearts (a thing to be lamented through all our land) that many gentlemen's children may not be brought up in any trade. Oh it is too base and beggarly for them: they must live of their lands, they must maintain their gentry: a small learning will serve their turn: but in the mean while this ordinance of God is neglected, what misery from hence ensueth? Who are the wasters of patrimonies? Who are the robbers and rovers in the Commonwealth? Who are the deflowrers of maidens? Who are the defilers of 〈◊〉? Who are the corrupters of youth? and to speak in one word, who are the seedes-men of all mischief in our country, but these children of Gentlemen, who have not been taught and trained up in learning, or some occupation, while they were young? For even as a weed, if it grow in a rank soil, will wax out of measure noisome: so these children coming of honourable and worshipful parents, brought up in ease, and pampered with the delights of gentry, they wax immeasurably vicious, and who may keep them under? neither laws, nor Magistrates, not any other good mean. First, parents must teach their children to use Good manners in speech. fair speech, not only towards themselves, but also towards others, and to call their betters by a reverend and honourable name: 1. Sam. 25. 24. Mark 10. 17. Prou. 16. 24. Secondly, to speak modestly and humbly of themselves: & this point of good manners they may learn of that wise matron Abigail, in 1. Sam. 25. 41. where we read, that when she was sent for of David to be his wife, she first bowed herself to the servants, and then made this lowly answer to him that brought the message: Behold, let thine handmaid be servant to wash the feet of the servants of my Lord. Thirdly, to admonish them lovingly to salute their friends and acquaintance, and generally all others whom they take to be Christians and brethren: which consisteth in praying well to others, wishing health & prosperity unto them, Luke 1. 28. 40. 1. King. 1. 17. Fourthly, to put them in mind to acknowledge a benefit where they have received it, with giving of thanks. Fiftly, to teach them to confess an offence where it is committed, with humble craving of pardon. An example hereof they may have in that virtuous and fair spoken matron Abigail, as they may read in 1. Sam. 25. 23. etc. Oh that men and children saw what great dangers they draw upon them by the neglect of this duty, and might prevent it: and also what gracious blessings they might procure, both to themselves and others by means of it, as this virtuous Abigail kept David from shedding of innocent blood, saved her own life with the lives of her family; and in the end was received to be a Prince's wife, for the wise carriage of herself in this matter. Again, parents must teach their children good manners, and civil behaviour, to rise up to their betters, to uncover the head, to make obeisance, to be courteous towards their equals, to be gentle and lovely to their inferiors, and loving and kind to all: this is no less needful for youth, than their meat and their drink. Also to admonish them, to give their elders and betters leave to speak before them: job 32. 45. That they keep silence while their betters are in place, until they be spoken unto, and then they must make answer in few words, without unnecessary circumstances, and directly unto the matter. And they may not be loud, babbling, or hot in speech, but cold and mild: Proverbes 17. Warn them that they do not interrupt or trouble others whiles they are in speaking: Prou. 19 20. Wherefore if children will keep the bounds of good manners, they must not be streperous or troublesome in talk, but they must observe and take their due time and course: And if there be any thing spoken, unto which they would willingly make answer, they must either courteously crave leave of him that speaketh, or else they must carry it in remembrance until their turn cometh to speak, which is the better of the twain. And further, they must give an intercourse of speech unto others, and suffer others to speak by them: for there is a time to keep silence, and so to hear others speaking: for he that will have all the talk, passeth the bounds of good manners. Moreover, parents ought to teach their children how to frame their gestures to a reverend Good manners in gesture. and dutiful behaviour towards others: which consisteth in these points. 1. The first is, to meet those that are coming towards them. And of this they have an example in holy Abraham: Genes. 18. 2. where it is said; And he lifted up his eyes and looked, and lo, three men stood by him, and when he saw them, he ran to meet them from the tent door. Again, another example they may have in king Solomon, sitting upon his regal Throne: 1. King. 2. 19 Bethsheba therefore went to King Solomon, to speak unto him for Adoniah; and the King rose to meet her. 2. The second is, to rise up to elders and betters, when they pass by them. And this is taught, Leviticus 19 23. Thou shalt rise up before the hoar-head, and honour the person of the old man, and dread thy God; I am the Lord. But here we must warn you of a great abuse, which (for the most part) is committed in all Churches; and which tendeth to the high dishonour of God: which is this, that neither you yourselves, neither your children, nor servants, do know the time of your duties, but you will then rise up to men, when both you and they, should kneel down to God: as if one that is more honourable among you, shall come into the Church, while you are upon your knees in prayer unto God, presently you start up, and leave God, to reverence men. Is this religion? Is this devotion becoming God's house? Is not this all one, as if a man should say, Stay God, here comes in my father, my master, my worshipful neighbour, and my good friend: to whom I am much beholden; I must do my duty unto him, I must rise up till he be past, and then I will come to thee again. What is this, but to prefer men before God? This doing plainly showeth, that such are lovers of men more than of God: and that such as take this duty and reverence upon them, are robbers of God's honour, and they shall answer him for it. Is there no time to show our duty towards men, but even then when we are about God's service? Why (know you) when man standeth before God, how honourable soever he be, he is but dung and filth, and not to be regarded, in comparison of him. And let parents learn this wisdom, that while they are taught their duties towards men, it is not to rob God of his worship; but there is an appointed time to every duty and purpose: as Ecclesiastes in his third Chapter. well admonisheth; To all things there is an appointed time, and a time to every purpose 〈◊〉. 3. 1. under heaven. It is recorded of Levy, to his eternal praise: Deut. 33. 9 that in God's cause he said of his father and mother; I see him not, neither knew he his brethren, nor his own children: Even so beloved, our eyes and our minds, and devotions, should be so fixed and intent upon God when we are in his service, that we should not see nor regard any man in that while. And again, we read in the second Chapter of the Gospel after Saint john, of our Saviour himself, who though he was the most dutiful child that ever was borne of woman, yet when he was about his father's business, he said unto his mother: Woman, what have I to do with thee? joh. 2. 4. Which examples will teach us, that when we are about God's service, all other duties must sleep, and be laid apart. 3. The third duty of good manners to be observed in their gesture, is to stand while their betters are sitting in place. Example of this we have in holy Abraham, of his entertaining of the three strangers; as it is written, Geneses 18. 8. And he took butter and milk, and the calf which he had prepared, and set before them, and stood by himself under the tree, and they did eat. Well may Abraham be called the father of the faithful, for giving his children so good example. 4. The fourth duty is, to bend the knee, in token of humility and subjection: example of this, 1. King. 2. 19 5. The fifth thing is, that they give the chief place to their betters, and to offer the same to others in courtesy, 1. King. 2. 19 Luk. 14. 8. 9 10. Prou. 15. 33. and 16. 18. 6. Their last duty is, to uncover their head. And though we find no example for this in holy Scripture, as being not used in those former times: yet seeing the thing is civil and comely, and one of the special courtesies of our days, we will confirm it also with the authority of God's word, Philippians 4. 1. Whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are of good report, those things do. And again, 1. Corin. 14. 40. Let all things be done decently, and according to order. Now this kind of civility, is both decent and according to order, as also honest, and of good report: and therefore warranted and commended by God's word, and so worthy to be followed. Therefore, if our children be not thus trained up in nurture while they be young, when they be old they shall be found so headstrong, that they will not be governed, but this consequent must needs follow, that all order shall be taken away, & then confusion must needs ensue. For if nurture be neglected, than our elders and governors shall not be reverenced: if they be not reverenced, they will not be regarded: if they be not regarded, they will not be obeyed: and if they be not obeyed, then steps in rebellion, and every one will do what he listeth. These vices and great abuses are to be reform, and with speed amended; not only of many parents and masters themselves, but also they must labour with all diligence, that they may be redressed and amended in their children and servants. First, the gross ignorance in the grounds of Christian religion, which yet remaineth in any parents, masters, and their families, who give themselves to sleep in the Church, to talk one with another, to turn over their books there, and using of their own private devotions or prayers in the time of public preaching and prayer: all which no doubt, are grievous sins and transgressions: and besides many absent themselves from holy exercises, and especially upon the Lord's day: then lying in their beds, haunting of alehouses and taverns, riding and going abroad about their worldly affairs, for pleasure and profit, being also weary whilst they be present at prayers and preaching, seldom do they prevent or come before prayers: Nay, many come in the midst thereof, to the great disturbance of the same, and others that are there: and some again, before the Sermons are ended: other some after the prayers made, and before the singing of the Psalms, and the usual blessing to be pronounced, depart thence, whereof they, as well as those that tarry, should be partakers, posting also out of the Church as it were from a play, or may-game; as though they supposed that no more reverence should be showed there, then in other places: or that some part of divine Service belonged unto them and not unto other some: whereas in very truth, every one ought to be alike partakers of the whole. And how should we look for any goodness from God, where this, that is the seed of all sin, and the nurse of all abominations, reigneth and swayeth so much? Let such as are fathers and mothers, and have children, know in what sort they must be careful for them. Their children are the good blessings of God, they be members of the body of Christ, and the sons of God. The kingdom Mat. 18. 10. of heaven belongeth to them. God hath appointed his Angels to guide and lead them, and to shield them from evil; and their Angels be in the presence of God, and do behold the face of their Father which is in heaven. They be fresh plants of the Church. Who knoweth what necessary instruments they may be in the house of God? It is not enough to seed them, to clothe them, and to nourish their bodies with necessary sustenance. For the heathen do this, which know not God, and the savage and bruit beasts, and the birds, which have no understanding, they breed up their young ones, and are tender and painful to provide for them. The Ass though she be dull, the Bear and Lion, though they be wild and cruel, yet seek they far and near to get where with to help their young. Therefore, if there be any, or can be any, which doth forsake and leave his own, he is more beastly than the foolish Ass, and more unnatural than most cruel Bears, and Lions, and Tigers. But in this behalf, men are for the most part over-careful. For this cause many build their houses with blood, and seek possessions by iniquity: they join house to house, and field to Esay. 5. 8. field, and will dwell alone upon the earth: they oppress the poor and needy, and do wrong to the widow and the fatherless; they make money their idol, and spoil one another: and all to provide for their children. This is the cover and cloak for all their mischiefs; they may not leave their children unprovided for. Unhappy are such fathers, which in this sort care for their children, by the ruin and spoil of the needy and innocent, and so break the Commandments of God; because their portion shall be with the wicked, in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone. And unhappy are their children, because they are partakers of their father's wickedness; and therefore shall also be partakers of punishment with them. The Prophet David saith: I have seen the wicked strong, and spreading himself like a green Psal. 37. 35. 30. Bay-tree: yet he passed away, and lo he was gone; and I sought him, but he could not be found. His root was deep, his stock strong, his branches broad, he spread over and shadowed the whole country, yet he passed away; he departed, his sons died, his house soon decayed, and his name was in little time quite forgotten. Oh, how much better than is it, to furnish the minds of our children, and to instruct them in godliness, to teach them to know God, to lead their life vettuously, and to rebuke them, and chastise them for ill doing? The beginning of wisdom is the fear of God. Let them then learn, what that good and Psal. 111. 10. Prou. 9 10. acceptable will of God is. Show them the way in which they should walk; that they go neither to the right hand nor to the left. The word Psal. 19 7. 8. & 119. 105. of God is pure, and giveth understanding to the simple: it is a light to their footsteps; it teacheth those that are young to amend their ways. For children by nature are darkness, and cannot see, except they be enlightened with God's word. And therefore Solomon sayeth: Catechise a child in his youth, and he will remember it when he is old. This is a right blessing which fathers and Prou. 22. 6. mothers give to their children, when they cause God to bless them too. When Christ came into jerusalem, the young children received him: They cried, hosanna to the Mat. 21. 15. 16. son of David, Blessed is he that cometh in the Name of the Lord. Christ giveth witness of them: By the mouths of babes and sucklings, hast thou set Psal. 82. forth thy praise. The words of the little and simple children, were able to confound the wisdom of the pharisees. Thus were they taught from their cradle, so careful were their godly parents over them. chose, they cannot have any wisdom that despise the way of the Lord. They become blind and wicked, and abominable in all their ways. They have no sense, nor feeling of the will of God. They cannot know light from darkness, nor God from Belial. Such were the children that derided Elisha, as also Absalon; 2 King. 2. 13. whose heart Satan had so possessed with the spirit of pride and ambition, that he went about 2. Sam. 16. 15. etc. to despose his father from his kingdom. So also his brother 〈◊〉 usurped the kingdom 1. King. 1. 5. of his father David. Another care which a father ought to have of his children is, to train them up in the study of virtue, and of a godly life. Blessed are the pure in Mat. 5. 8. heart, for they shall see God. They which keep not this way, are the children of wrath Herein standeth the whole profession of a Christian life. For God hath not called us to uncleanness, but unto holiness. 1. Thes. 4. 7. This is the will of God, and this is out promise made unto him, that we serve him in holiness and righteousness all the days of our life, that we increase in virtue, and grow from grace Luk. 1.74.75. to grace. A wise and loving father which sendeth his son on a dangerous journey, either by sea or land, first instructeth him with advice, and telleth him in what sort he shall avoid perils. Take heed, (saith he) the way is dangerous which thou must pass. The sea is terrible, the waves rise up as high as heaven, and by and by. thou shalt see a pit as low as hell. The sands may swallow thee, the rocks may destroy thee. Thou shalt pass by huge mountains, and through a wilderness, where thieves will assault thee. Thy heart will quake Thou shaltcrie for succour, and find no man to help thee. In these and these places hath many a good man's child been cast away. Oh take 〈◊〉 (my son,) thou art the 〈◊〉 and comfort of mine age: if aught come to thee otherwise then well, I shall soon end my days in sorrow. If a father be thus careful that his child should escape worldly dangers, he must also be careful of spiritual dangers, in which whosoever is lost, is lost for ever. Therefore thus, or to this effect, may he say to him: Oh my son, understand what God hath done for thy sake. Take heed to thyself. The world is all overstrewed with snares. The devil runneth and seeketh 1. Pet. 5. 8. whom he may devour. Give not ground to him, but resist him, and he will fly from thee. I am. 4. 7. Pro. 18. 10. Be strong in faith. The Name of the Lord is a strong tower of defence. Call upon him in the day of thy trouble, and he will deliver thee. He Psal. 50. 15. will give thee of his spirit. Take heed my son, and be not deceived, let no wilfulness cast thee away. If sinners entice thee, be not a companion with them in wickedness. Fashion not thyself Prou. 1. 10. 11 Rom. 12. 2. to the likeness of this world: for the world passeth away, and the lust thereof. He that loveth 1. joh 215. this world, the love of God is not in him. Be not like unto them that perish. Thou wast conceived Psal. 51. 5. Ephes. 2. 3. Col. 1. 12. 13. and borne in sin. Thou art by nature the child of wrath: but God made thee meet to be partaker of the inheritance of the Saints in light, and hath delivered thee from the power of darkness: and hath translated thee into the kingdom of his dear son: Receive not this grace in vain; but cast away the works 2. Cor. 6. 1. Rom. 13. 12. of darkness, and put on the armour of light. Be renewed in thy heart, and in thy spirit, that it may appear I have been careful for thee. Thus a careful father seeketh to train up his son, & to nurture him. Now there be some necessaire means and helps, whereby godly parents may the more effectually and virtuously bring up their children, according to the directions before spoken of, as these: First, not to suffer their children and youth to have their own will: For Solomon saith, Prou. 11. 20. They that are of afroward heart, are abominable unto the Lord. And again, in the 29. Chap. verse 15. A child set at liberty, maketh his mother ashamed. But what will some be ready to answer in this case? Oh he may be broken of that time enough afterwards. But what saith the wiseman, Ecclesiastic. 25. 27. Give no passage to the waters, no not a little. The heart of child is as the violent waters. And as those which have experience in keeping and repairing the sea banks, can easily tell us, that if the raging waves should be suffered to break over but one tide, they should hardly in many days recover it again: so if thou sufferest thy child's affections to have the full swinge and course, yea but a small season, thou shalt hardly or never again win this breach. 2. The second means is, moderation in diet; not to pamper children with too much meat, or that which is delicate, but to give them that which is wholesome and sufficient, and no more. For excess breedeth disease, both in body and mind, maketh them gluttons and drunkards, consumers of patrimony, and this vice draweth a thousand more with it: and even as the fattest soil bringeth forth the rankest weeds, so pampered children brought up without due government and discipline, thrust forth the greatest and most overgrown vices. 3. The third help is, not to clothe them with costly apparel, or to attire them with new fashions. For this again is contrary to the nature of pains and labour, and stirreth up pride. For even as soft flax is soon on fire: so youthful nature will soon be inflamed with this vice, as lamentable experience too much teacheth at this day. For, from whence cometh this disguised and monstrous apparel, but from wanton and dissolute education of youth? This is the special sin of England, and if any thing be the overthrow of it (which God for his mercy turn away) it will be this: the land is too heavy of this sin. For the pride of all nations, and the follies of all countries are upon us, how should we long bear them? How art thou fallen from heaven, o Lucifer, son of the Esay. 14. 12. Zoph. 1. 8. morning? And it shall be in the day of the Lords sacrifice, that I will visit the Princes, and the King's children, and all such as are clothed with strange apparel. 4. The fourth help is reprehension, or chiding. And this is taught, Prou. 19 15. The rod, and correction give wisdom. Where by the rod, is understood chastisement: and by correction, is understood, chiding or reprehension. The want of this help was the utter spoil and undoing of Adonyah, as may be seen, 1. King. 1. & 2. Chapters. And here we cannot but justly find fault with most parents, who though they be somewhat careful for their children while they be tender: yet when they be come to some years of discretion, as to fifteen or sixteen, which time is most fit for reprehension, because then by all reason it should soon enter; and which time again is most dangerous, be cause then our affections are most strong in us, oh then they be grown to men's and women's eftate, they may not be reprehended, they may not be disgraced. But know thou, oh wise parent, that so long as thou hast a child, so long thou art a parent: and so long as thou art a father, so long thou must carry a fatherly authority and power over him. 5. The fifth help, is chastisement, and it may well be called a help, because where reprehension will not serve, that must help; and this must be used in order and method: as the skilful Physician will not give his strong and bitter pill before his preparative, lest the working of it should be hindered by the stubborn and indurate obstructions: so the wise parent in curing his son's vices, must not strike before he hath reprehended or preadmonished: lest either he be too much caft down and discouraged, or wax obstinate. This kind of physic, as it is more strong than the former, so it hath a more forcible and excellent working. For great is the godliness in that severity by which the power of sinning is taken away. And again, Solomon in the 22. of the Proverbes, verse 15. saith more worthily: Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it away. And again in the 13. Chapter, verse 24. He which spareth the rod, hateth his son, that is, he is an enemy unto him. Wherefore know thou this, o thou father, that when thou feast thy son dangerously sick with the disease of sin, and dost not use this help or remedy, which God in his holy word hath prescribed unto thee, thou art accessary to thy child's death, as an enemy, and his blood shall be required at thy hands: because where thou mightest have saved him, thou hast wilfully cast him away. For God's love (good parents) look to your children. Oh that parents had less carnal affection, and more wisdom: for every parent is blind in his own children. Oh, is it not a pitiful thing, that parents should themselves make graves for their own children, and bury them quick without all compassion, and think they do well in it? And is it not a folly above all follies, that while the parent layeth his hand upon his child's mouth, to keep away the cold wind, he presseth it down so hard, that he strangleth him therewith? Thus many a father and mother in the world, have killed their dear ones by their inordinate love and cockering of them, and thus many poor infant must still be murdered, because parents will not be warned. Parents are bound by the law of nature to love their children: for what a cruelty were it, not to love them that they have begotten and borne? But yet wisdom requireth, that they some what dissemble and hide their love, (specially to those children that be of some reasonable discretion) lest they should take boldness thereupon, to do what they list. For if we well consider of man's nature, that Gen. 6. 5. & 8. 21. Mat. 15. 19 it is evil even from his birth, we shall then find the young child which lyeth in the cradle, to be both wayward, and full of affections: and though his body be but small, yet he hath a great heart, and is altogether inclined to evil: and the more he waxeth in reason by years, the more he groweth proud, froward, wilful, unruly, and disobedient. If this sparkle be suffered to increase, it will rage over, and burn down the whole house. For we are changed and become good, not by birth, but by education. For like as planting and carefulness hath great power in all growing things: even so hath education greater virtue and strength: yea, and better fruit, in the diligent bringing up of their children. Therefore parents must be wary and circumspect, that they never smile or laugh at any words or deeds of their children, done lewdly, unhonestly, naughtily, wantonly, or shamefully, not to kiss and commend them for so doing. For children will commonly accustom themselves unto such things, as they shall see and perceive to be pleasing and delightful to their father and mother. Therefore they must correct, and sharply reprove their children for saying or doing ill, and make it known unto them, that they be neither well pleased nor contented with their so doing, but that it greatly disliketh them. And again on the other side, let them kiss and make much of them, whensoever they shall see or hear them do any thing that is a sign of goodness. But such is the fond and too much cockering affection of some parents towards their children, that there is more need in these days, to teach and admonish them, not to love them too much, then to persuade them to love them. For David's darling, was David's traitor. And this is the manner of God, and his just judgement; that when any father or mother begins 2. Sam. 15. all, & 18. 35. (as it were) to set their child, or any thing else in the room of God, and so love the same above him which gave it, either to take away the child, or the thing, or else to take away the parents, before they provoke him too much. For as the Ape doth (with too much embracing) well-neare kill her young whelps: so likewise, some undiscreet parents, through immoderate love, and overmuch pampering and cherishing, do utterly spoil and mar their children. Therefore, if parents would have their children live, they must take heed that they love them not too much: for the giver is displeased, when the gift is more esteemed than he. We may see by experience, how that many Ill bringing up, is a cause of marring many which are of a good towardness and wit. children of good wit 〈◊〉 towardness, are marred and spoilt for want of good education, and so get those vices from their tender years, which all their life after, do for the most part accompany them. For when parents do either too much cocker their children, or by their lewd example allure to naughtiness, or neglect due instruction; what other thing (I pray you) can come to pass, than which we see in trees, which from the beginning being neglected, become crooked & unfruitful? chose, they that are pruned, erected, ordered, and watered, with the hand and cunning of the husbandman, are made strait, fertile and fruitful. So the manner of life, education, and custom, are of great importance to move to virtue. What a great folly is it in parents to toil themselves, and be occupied in getting riches, and to be nothing careful for their children, for whose sake riches are gotten? Assuredly, there can none more precious and better heritage be left unto children, then if they be well and virtuously brought up from their tender age, and be rightly instructed unto virtue from their infancy. This patrimony remaineth with them Two things which much hinder good education. continually, nothing at all subject to the storms and troubles of fortune. But we see two special causes why some parents do more negligently provide that their children be instructed, to wit, too much cockering, and niggardship. In cockering, mothers do more often offend, and specially those that have but few children. These do like as if some husbandman should refuse to till his field, because he hath but one only. Who could suffer this man's folly and perverseness of judgement? Is it not much more to be tilled, because it is only one? Yes verily, that so the profit and increase of one, may recompense the want of many. Even so after the same sort we may judge it to be the duty of mothers, so much more diligently to bring up their children, by how much they are fewer. But we see what doth let mothers, that they The fewer the children the more diligently to be cared for, that they be well brought up. love their children more dear than that they can suffer them to be an hour out of their sight: but this is cruel love, so to love their children, that they should be (as it were) given over of their mothers unto all naughtiness; of which perverse and cruel love, not a few shall suffer the just punishment, which with great grief of mind, and with tears shall be compelled to see the unbridled wantonness and ungraciousness of their children, unto which they do now (all too late) go about to provide a remedy. On the other side, niggardship is oftentimes The second cause which 〈◊〉 good education. greater, than that parents will 〈◊〉 the cost. Whatsoever is spent upon horse-keepers, or horsebreakers, fools, minstrels, dogs, hawks, &c: that some think well bestowed: but if they see any thing to be spent about instructing their children, they think all ill bestowed; and are much more careful that an horse be well framed to vaulting & leaping, then that their child be well instructed to virtue. This inconvenience cometh to the minds of children, if they be not well brought up, that they become servile, and lie open to all sin and naughtiness. For if a man leave his field untilled, he shall find it to have brought forth fern and thistles, and such unprofitable weeds: after the same sort, if he shall leave the wits of his children unlooked unto; and unexercised, he shall be sure to reap most abundant fruit of wantonness and ungraciousness. The holy Ghost, speaking in the Scriptures of foolish sons, as that he that begetteth such a one getteth himself sorrow. and that the father of a fool hath no joy: Prou. 17. 21. he meaneth it not so much of natural fools, or idiots, and such as are destitute of common reason, (although it is true, that is a lamentable judgement of God, and a heaviness to the parents of such a child) as of wicked children, such as either are ignorant in the word, or not knowing how to order one right step to the kingdom of God: or else having some knowledge, abuse it, to maintain their carnal lusts and appetite. For in this case as it would grieve parents to have natural fools to their children, or such as either in some imperfection of nature, are dismembered, or deformed, and misfigured in the parts of their body: even so much more should it grieve them to have such children, as either for want of knowledge and heavenly wisdom, cannot walk in the fear of God, or abusing the knowledge given them, prostitute and give themselves to all sin and wickedness. It is marvelous how greatly parents can bewail the want of one natural gift, proceeding of some imperfection, and how easily they can pass over without any grief, the want of all spiritual graces, springing from corrupt education. In like manner it is strange, that men can take the matter so heavily, when their children break into such offences, as either have open shame or civil punishments following them: and yet can make no bones, but pass over such sins as are against the majesty of God, accompanied with everlasting confusion, & unspeakable torments. Wherein, what doth the most part of men bewray, but their great hypocrisy, in that neither their joy, nor their grief is sound to their children; and that they love themselves more in their children, then either their salvation or the glory of God: the tender love and care whereof (no doubt) did increase the sorrow of David, for the death of his son Absalon; who was not 2. Sam. 18. 33. so much grieved for the loss of a son, as for that untimely end of his son, to whom the time of repentance, for his salvation and the glory of God, was denied, which haply, if he had lived, his father David might have rejoiced in. Let parents therefore learn to correct their affections to their children, and be grieved for ignorance, impiety, and sins; whereof either their carnal copulation, the not lamenting of their natural corruption, the want of prayer, and holy seed, or profane education, armed with the wrath of God, may be a most just occasion. Can parents hope for a holy posterity? or do they marvel if the Lord cross them in the children of their bodies, when they make as bold and brutish an entrance into that holy ordinance of the Lord, as is the meeting of the neighing horse with his mate? when being ioyved in that honourable estate of matrimony, either as meet natural men, without all knowledge of God, they beget their children: or as too carnal men, without the fear & reverence of the Lord, neither bewailing their corruptions which they received of their ancestry, nor praying against their infirmities, which may descend to their posterity, they abuse the marriage bed. Lastly, when having received the fruit of the womb, they have no care by good and virtuous bringing up, to offer it to the Lord, that their child by carnal generation, may be the child of God by spiritual regeneration. Surely no: and yet men looking up to God his providence and secret counsel, without all bethinking themselves of their corrupt generation, from which their children are descended, without all looking back into their wicked and godless bringing of them up, will fret against their sins, fume against their children: yea, often they will correct them, and that to serve their own corruptions, not so much grieved for that they have sinned against God, as that they have offended them. Christians therefore must know, that when men and women, raging with boiling lust, meet together as bruit beasts, having no other respect then to satisfy their own carnal concupiscence, when they make no conscience to sanctify the marriage bed with prayer, when they have no care to increase the Church of Christ, and the number of the elect, it is the just judgement of God, to send them either monsters, or natural fools, or else such as having good gifts of the mind, and well proportioned bodies, are most wicked, graceless, and profane persons. Again on the contrary, we shall find in the word of God, that noble and notable men commended unto us for rare examples of virtue and godliness, were children asked and obtained of God by prayer. Our first parents Adam and Eve, being humbled Gen. 4. 2. 25. after the birth of their wicked son Cain, obtained a righteous Abel: of whom, when by his bloody brother they were bereft, they received that holy man Seth. Abraham, be getting in the flesh, had a cursed son Ishmael, but waiting by faith for the accomplishment of God his covenant, he obtained Gen. 21. 2. a blessed Isaac. jacob not content with one wife, according Gen. 30. 24. to the ordinance of God, was punished in his children: yet afterward being humbled, he received faithful joseph. Elkanah and Hannah, praying and beinst cast 1. Sam. 2. 9 down, had a Samuel that did minister before the Lord. David and Bethsheba lamenting their sins, obtained 2. Sam. 22. 24. Solomon, a man of excellent wisdom. Zacharias and Elizabeth fearing the Lord, received Luke 1. 13. john the Baptist, a forerunner of Christ. Look what sins parents have received naturally, without God his great blessing, without prayer and humbling themselves, they shall convey them to their posterity. And although the Lord granteth sometimes civil gifts unto the children of natural and carnal men: yet for the most part they receive their natural sin. But if the children of God, by regeneration do see into themselves, and lament their sins of generation, praying that their natural corruptions may be prevented in their posterities; they shall see the great mercies of God, in some measure, freeing their children from the same. Now when thou shalt see such sins to be in thy children, enter into thine own heart, examine thyself whether they are not come from thee? Consider how justly the hand of God may be upon thee: and when thou wouldst be angry with thy child, have an holy anger with thyself, and use this and such like meditation with thine own soul; Lord shall I thus punish mine own sin, and that in mine own child? shall I thus persecute the corruptions of my ancestors? Nay, I see (o Lord) and prove that thou art displeased with me, for the too carnal conception of my child: I lay then in some sin, I asked it not of thee by prayer: be merciful unto me (o Lord) and in thy good time show some pity upon my child. Thus thinking, thou goest about to correct nature in thy child, which he could not help, arming thyself with prayer, repenting with jacob, thou shalt be so affected, as desirous to draw thy child out of sin, yet with the mildest means and least rigour. And one thing is most wonderful; that some will teach their children to speak corruptly, and do wickedly whilst they are young, and yet beat them for it when they are old. Again, some will embolden their little ones to practise iniquity towards others, which when by the just judgement of God, they afterwards exercise towards the parents themselves, they are corrected for it. And yet reason with these and such like men, for the evil education of their children, and they will answer: Do not we as much as is of us required? we send our children to the Church, to be instructed of the Pastor: and to the school to be taught of the master: if they learn, it will be the better for them: if not, they have the more to answer for: what can we do more? But remember, o man: consider o woman, whosoever thus speaketh, that for sin's sake, and the want of prayer, there may be a plague upon the Pastor's pains, and a curse upon the teacher's travel. If parents therefore would have their children blessed at the Church, and at the school, Children profit more by good example in one month, then by instruction in a whole year. let them beware they give their children no corrupt example at home, by any carelessness, profaneness, or ungodliness: for when examples are set before children's eyes, they are easily led away to that which is evil: otherwise, parents will do them more harm at home, than both Pastor and schoolmaster can do good abroad. For the corrupt example of the one, fighteth with the good doctrine of the other: which is so much the more dangerous, because that corrupt walking is armed with nature, & therefore more forcibly inclineth the affections of children to that side. And further, experience teacheth us, that children like or mislike more by countenance, gesture and behaviour, then by any rule, doctrine, or precept whatsoever. Some there be, that will not have their children taught until they be ten or twelve years old, because (as they say) at that age they have but an apish imitation. To whom we answer, that although they cannot then deeply discern, nor profoundly conceive things: yet how many things before these years, will they both receive and remember? And we demand, if children be apish in imitation and following that whilst they be young, which they will have the habit, quality or property of when they be old, may they not much better do apishly good whiles they are young, which they may carefully do when they are old? Besides, let them go so untaught, and they will grow so headstrong, that they will sooner be broken then bended: sure it is, that one stripe, or two words, will do more good to a child in time, than an hundred stripes afterward. And here let parents be admonished of their undiscreet correction; who do their children more harm in showing a merry countenance after their discipline used, than they do good by their chastisement of them whiles they do correct them. Neither do we purpose to take away natural affection, and a Christian kind of compassion in all our censures: for it is our great complaint of the brutish unmercifulness of many parents here, but we would wish Christians to correct their undiscreet affections herein by heavenly wisdom. Neither are we so Stoical, as to deny a more mild and affable kind of speech to be lawfully and conveniently used to children, and yet we wish it to be void of all unseemly lenity, and without all show of foolish, vain, and unnecessary behaviour. To be brief, how needful household government is towards children, may appear by the slender thriving, and small profiting either of religion or virtue, either in the Church or Commonwealth. Speak men of discipline never so much, complain they of the want of Church government never so loud, preach they, teach they never so much abroad, unless they will begin discipline in reforming their houses, & give religion some room at home, they shall travel much and profit little. And surely, if men be careful to reform themselves first, and then their families: if their charge be greater than their circuits and provinces wherein the Lord hath placed them, it were the best way to move the Lord to bestow reformation & discipline on his Church among us: and of all means that now may be hoped for, this seemeth best: for of particular persons, come families: of families, towns: of towns, provinces: of provinces, realms: so that conveying discipline thus from one to another, in time, and that shortly, it would come into the Church. Well (we say) let there be never so good laws in Cities, never so pure order in Churches, if there be no practice at home: if fathers of families use not doctrine and discipline in their houses, and join their helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers, they may indeed, but unjustly, as many have done, complain that their children are corrupted abroad, when they were before, and are still, corrupted and spoiled at home. Alas, if parents (to whom the comfort of their children well brought up, is a precious crown) will not inform and reform their children in the fear of God, how can hope sustain these men, that others will perform this duty for them, to whom this charge doth far less appertain? Lastly, let parents remember, that therefore they have disordered and disobedient children to themselves, because they have been disobedient children to the Lord, and disordered to their parents when they were young: whereof because they have not repent, the Lord punisheth their sins to others, with the like sin to themselves. Wilt thou know, thou father, how thou mayst have that blessing, to be the blessed father of a blessed seed? Wilt thou know, thou mother, how to avoid that curse, to be the cursed mother of a cursed seed? Bring thy children within the compass of the covenant, endeavour to make thy son the son of God, and thy daughter by nature, the daughter of God by grace: and remember that God on his part protested to father Abraham, that he was all sufficient for the accomplishment of his promise, in giving him a blessed seed: and requested also on father Abraham's part, that he should walk before him, and be upright. Wilt thou then have the one part of this covenant, that is, that God should bless thee in thy seed? then remember also, that thou walk before the Lord, and be upright. Wilt thou have thy children as the blessed seed of Abraham? teach them with Abraham the judgements of the Lord: pray for them with Abraham, that they may live in the light of the Lord: be ready to offer them with Abraham, that they may be an holy sacrifice unto the Lord. It is thou (o man) (o woman) that mayst do thy child the greatest good, and the greatest harm: if thou prayest for them, and repentest for thyself, the Lord will bless thy care, the Pastor's pains, and the teacher's travel: but if thou despisest these duties, the Lord will deny thee these blessings, and the curse of God will fall upon the child, at home in thy house, abroad in the Church, and in the school. And seeing the Lord hath promised, that he will be thy God, and bless thy seed, if thou be'st faithful; thou mayest both hope that thou art of the faithful, if thou hast a blessed seed: and fear that thou hast not as yet the blessing of the covenant, when thy seed is accursed. But had not jacob wicked children, and David Objection. ungodly sons? and doth not daily experience teach us, that wicked men have godly children? Yes; for besides the secret counsel of the Answer. Lord herein, we must know, that neither the promise of the Lord is so universal, that every particular child of a faithful man should be within the Covenant: or if of many there be but one blessed, the promise is performed yea, which more is, though the faithful man have never a good child, yet, if unto a thousand generations, there be but one good, the Covenant is not broken. Noither must we tie the Lord his work so much to man, that a good man may not have an evil: son, seeing though the Lord visit not his sins, yet he may visit the sins of some of his forefathers, to the third and fourth generation going before. To the second we say, that an evil father having a good child, though the Lord show not mercy to that particular man therein, yet he may remember his promise to some of the forefathers, in the thousand generations going before: and though that evil man have no cursed child, yet the curse may be accomplished in the third and fourth generation following. Wherefore, not speaking of Election or Reprobation, which we leave only to the Lord, to make good or bad: we exhort parents to the ordinary means to bring up their children, so as they, either (by some good tokens) may see them the children of God, as heirs of the covenant, or at least be comforted in their own consciences. If their children for some cause unknown, refuse it, yet they may rejoice in this, that to the uttermost of their ability, they have used all good and godly means, to bring them up well, and offered them to God. And if parents have cause to be grieved, when thus travelling in good education, they cannot see good in their children; how much more cause of grief may they have, when they have used and bestowed no labour at all, to bring them up in the fear of the Lord? And yet many will be grieved for the one, that will not for the other. Wherefore if we wish to convey God his blessings to our posterities, let us use the duties thereunto; let us, if we be loath to convey God his judgements to our children, carefully avoid the means unto it. And surely, as it is a blessed thing in the hour of death, with simeon, to depart in peace; leaving our wives, children, and servants, Zuke 3. 29. members of Christ, spouses to Christ, children to God, and servants to the Lord: So in death, no one thing will be more grievous unto a man, than (the Lord having given him the charge of so many souls, to be furthered to salvation,) that his own tormented conscience shall press him: How, as much as he could, he hath helped them forward to their damnation: and so (which is more fearful) he shall have them spewing, and foaming out on his face, continual curses in hell, accusing him for ever to be a murderer of their souls, and a cutthroat of their salvation. The end of all this briefly is thus much, that parents having fools, children not walking either in knowledge or in a good conscience, must make some use of so just a cause of grief, examining themselves, and accusing their own souls before the Lord, either for that their meeting was profane, to so holy an estate, or brutish, because they desired rather a seed like unto themselves in flesh and blood, than such as might be like Christ, by grace, and new birth; or, that they begat their offspring as mere natural, or very carnal men: or because they either profanely neglected all good education, or monstroufly misliked that in their young children, which they liked in themselves, and punished in them their own corrupt precepts: or, for that they suffered their children injuriously to do evil to others, which they could not suffer to do to themselves: or, untaught them that at home, which was taught abroad: or, in that they do lie in some sin unrepented of: or else, because they never made conscience to bring their posterity within the covenant of salvation, but still loved the flesh of their children, and not their soul. Let all parents remember, that they are bound by the law of God and nature, as concerning this bodily life, to make good and honest provision, (according to their degrees) for the relief and maintenance of their children and family. And therefore such fathers and mothers, as consume and waste away their money and substance unthriftily, by dycing, carding, gaming, or by any other indirect and unlawful means, whereby their children and family should be maintained, do very unnaturally sin, and break God's Commandments. The Wiseman showeth parents, when is the best time to sow the seed of virtue in their children, that it may bring forth the fruit of life, and make them always ready to die: saying, Eccles. 12. 1. Remember now (saith he) thy Creator, in the days of thy youth. As if he should say; Youth must think on death betimes, to the end to live to well, & die well. Be mindful and think on God in thy youth, and do not prolong or defer it until age. And so all their life shall run in a line; the middle like the beginning, and the end like the middle: as the Sun setteth against the place where it arose. One of the principallest. duties that belong to parents towards their children, is, that they Marriage with Papists, etc. Gen. 23. 24. be very wary and careful, that their sons and daughters do not match in marriage with such as are ungodly, wicked, and void of true religion. Which if they do, they endanger the faith of their children, and so commit a grievous sin. For proof whereof, let us consider first what marriage is, and how nigh a conjunction the Lord hath made it. He made the woman of the man's nature; flesh of his flesh, and bone of his bones: So that we may not imagine, that that God, which required so near a conjunction in the outward and inferior part, will suffer the mind and spirit of the husband and wife, between faith and superstition to be rend asunder. Therefore when God said: They shall be two in one flesh: we may not think but that he spoke it of the whole and perfect creature, made of body and soul, that they should be of two one: or that God did by so holy a Law, set free the holiest part, requiring only such agreement in the flesh and body, and leave the soul and spirit in dissension. For as God gave unto both one name, as touching their earthly nature, signifying their unity, and called them Adam; Genesis 5. 2. so he gave unto them a likeness in name, as they were joined in marriage; to signify their agreement in mind and spirit, and called the one man, and the other woman: Genesis 2. 22. 23. Yea, he gave unto marriage this especial privilege: For this cause Gen. 2. 24. shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall be one flesh: but it could never be, that any uniting only of flesh and blood, should have found a dispensation from the Law, that bindeth mind and conscience; Honour thy father and thy mother, Exod. 20. 12. The holy and faithful bond of marriage between man and wife, is commended to us by that most holy conjunction of Christ with his Church: Ephes. 5. 2. Seeing that this is a conjunction both of body and soul, than such as How should it marriage 〈◊〉 well, when 〈◊〉 bridegroom 〈◊〉 such a one, 〈◊〉 whom he cannot say, God speed, because she is one of God's friends: 2. joh. 10. are Christian parents, aught to be careful, that their children may rejoice in it: howsoever it liketh others to marry their children, yet they ought to see that their children do settle themselves, that they may knit their minds in religion, where they make their bodies one: that so their marriage may be to them as a lookingglass, to view and behold the love of Christ. S. Paul giveth this general rule to all that will marry, that they marry only in the Lord; and to 1. Cor. 7. 39 But how do they marry in the Lord, who marry the Lords enemies? marry only in the Lord, is not to be led by flesh and blood, with favour, credit, honour, friendship, riches, or beauty, but rather it is to marry religiously in the fear of God, & in the fellowship of the Church of Christ, where true Christians live by one faith, profess one religion, and serve one God. Now let us a little call to our remembrance, what fruit such unequal marriages have brought forth from the beginning. The sons of God, saw the daughters of men, Gen. 6. 2. that they were fair, and they took them wives of all that they liked. This adventurous marriage in a strange religion, did so infect the world, that all flesh had As the jews might not marry with the Canaanites, so Christians may not marry with them which are like Canaanites. corrupted his ways. For this cause God gave this plain and express Law unto the people of Israel, as touching all the inhabitants of the land of Canaan: Thou shalt not give thy daughters unto his sons; Deut. 7. 2. 3. 4. Exod. 34. 16. Surely they will turn away thy heart: 1. Kings 11. 2. Ezra 9 1. 2. etc. and 10. 18. 19 Read the Gen. 24. 3. & 28. 1. Mal. 2. 11. Ezr 9 14. places. We may not here think, that this inhibition serveth not now 〈◊〉 is, as touching Pagans, Turks, or Infidels; but rather we must assure our seives in the truth, and know that no people in the world are more within the compass of this law then the Papists, and superstitious idolaters. The holy Ghost forbiddeth us to keep company with Idolaters, and such as are of a strange religion: and how can he then permit, that we should marry with them? He commandeth If adultery may separate marriage, shall not idolatry hinder marriage, which is worse than it? straight that we should not draw in one yoke with the unbelieving: 2. Cor. 6. 14. which to do, is as unseemly, as an Ox and an Ass to be yoked together to plough: Deut. 22. 10. And how can we possibly devose to violate and break this commandment more contumeliously, then to yoke ourselves in marriage with the unfaithful? We are charged, To offer up our bodies a lively, a holy, and a reasonable sacrifice unto God: Rom. 12. 1. But if we shall give our bodies to Papists, we then shall make them one flesh with the Papists: and then we may be sure, that no corrupt sacrifice can be a sweet smelling sacrifice unto the Lord our God. Here godly parents ought then advisedly to consider, that the strengthening and constant Parents may not give their daughters to a man 〈◊〉. standing in religion of their children, is only of God, and from God, and not of themselves; and therefore although they have brought up their children religiously and virtuously, and Gen. 34. 14. think they are so well grounded and settled therein, that they cannot be removed & drawn from their sound profession: yet they must beware that they do not tempt God, and venture their children to walk in that way which so many have fallen in. How can they assure themselves, that their children shall abide constant, and stand upright, if they shall consent that they may couple themselves in marriage with Papists? Samson was borne by God's promise, consecrated to the Lord from the day of his birth to the day of his death, made a judge of Israel; a deliverer of God's Church, and a revenger of his enemies: very great and especial tokens of the grace of God in him, that it should be continued: yet, when he would attempt to marry one of a strange religion, he lost his honour, and became a laughingstock unto the enemies of God. judges the fourteenth Chapter, and first verse, etc. and 16. 4. 17. 18. etc. Solomon was a wise man, as ever was any before him, or after him: God hath endued him with heavenly gifts, and had set him up as a figure of his Son Christ: yet when he had married with Pharaohs daughter (and others, of an other religion, and strangers from the commonwealth of Israel) he then fell from worse to worse, till at the last, he fell to miserable idolatry: 1. King. 11. 4. What was the cause that Ahab king of Israel, Miserable is that man which is fettered with a woman that liketh not his religion. He feareth not sin, which doth not shun occasions, and he is worthy to be snared, which leadeth himself into temptation, & so maketh a trap for himself. did worse than all the kings before him? a man even sold to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord: above all his idolatries, and walking in the most wretched ways of jeroboam, the Scripture layeth this to his charge, even as his greatest 〈◊〉, that he took the daughter of the king of the Sydonians to his wife: 1. King. 16. 29. 30. 31. 23. 33. And lest such parents as either have, or hereafter shall marry their children to Papists, should think their case to be better than his, because though they marry them to Papists, or to Atheists, yet they do not marry them to any Pagans: let them consider what the Scripture teacheth them more. jehoram King of judah, married neither Luk. 11. 4. The wife must be meet, as God said: Gen. 2. 14. But how is she meet, if the husband be a Christian and sh e a Papist? with any Sydonian, nor Egyptian, neither with Pagan, nor Infidel; but with one of his own people, and of the Tribe of Israel: yet because she had corrupted her religion in her father's house, the Scripture showeth this to to be the cause of all jehorams sin: He did evil in the sight of the Lord, because the daughter of Ahab was his wife: 2. Kings 1. 18. Yea, the Scripture maketh this sin so great, that jehosaphat a good King, was yet defiled with it, and it is reported as a great blemish of his virtuous doings, that ever he suffered his son jehoram so dangerously to marry. 2. Chron. 1. 18. When God would blame the idolatry of his people of Israel, showing both how greatly he did hate it, and what plagues he would bring upon them for it, he revealed it unto the Prophet 〈◊〉 this parable: bidding him take unto himself a wife of fornications: that is, a wife full of spiritual whoredoms, such a one as a papist is, that in such a marriage (as in a glass) he might behold how loathsome the people's idolatries were, Hos. 1. 2. etc. Parents have further to remember, that they have not this rule and authority over their children, that they may choose whether they will let them marry or no, or when they list, and whom they list: but fathers and mothers must consider, that they have rule over their children under the Lord; so that the Lord is above them: and therefore parents must deal with their children according to the will and mind of God, which will of God is revealed unto us out of his word. Now God by his Apostle saith; To avoid fornication, let every man 1. Cor. 7. 1. have his own wife: and let every woman have her own husband: Whereby all parents may see, that God commandeth them to permit and suffer every one to marry, that is disposed to marry. Now, if they may not forbid any man or woman to marry, much less their own children, whom if they suffer not to marry, not having the gift of continency, than they break and resist God's ordinance. For we read, that when Isaac forbade his son jacob to marry any Gen. 18. 1. 2. of the daughters of Canaan, he did not restrain him altogether from marriage: and therefore he directed him, where, and with whom he should marry. Likewise the parents of Samson, when he asked jud. 14. 1. 2. 3. a wife of them, did not simply forbid him to marry: but they reproved him, for because he would marry an infidel, and a profane woman. * It is the parents duty to give their children that which may help them in this life, to counsel, or to provide them fit and religious marriages 2. Cor. 12. 14. Gen. 4. 2. 3. 4. Ruth 3. 1. Therefore such parents as be godly, will have advised consideration and regard of the infirmities of their children, and whether they can live continent and chaste, or no: and if they shall make choice, and have a good liking to such as be honest, religious, and godly, (having craved their parent's consent) although they be not so rich and wealthy as they would wish them to match with, yet they ought not to hinder, 〈◊〉, and forbid their children to marry, only for want of goods and substance. Parents ought to be careful, that their children do marry in such an age wherein they should understand whom they choose, and very well perceive what they take in hand, and that they do not seek to match themselves in marriage above their degree. And it is very expedient, that parents admonish their children, to make their choice according to their complexion and condition. This is a most unnatural and cruel part, for When parents do abuse their authority. parents to sell their children for gain and lucre, and to marry them when they list, and to whom they list, without the good liking of their children, and so bring them into bondage. And therefore if parents shall force and compel their Parents must not match their children only for carnal respects. children to marry contrary to their mind and liking, than the sorrowful children may not say they have married them, but for ever they have marred and undone them. And therefore to the end that marriages may be perpetual, loving, and delightful betwixt the parties, there must and aught to be a knitting of hearts before striking of hands. The places of Scripture, are many and divers, by which it may plainly appear, that all When parents do marry their daughters to men of understanding, they shall perform a weighty work. godly and Christian parents, are charged by God himself, that they should be careful in time, to make meet choice of husbands for their daughters, and fit wives for their sons: amongst many, these quotations do sufficiently prove it. Deut. 7. 3. Nehemia 13. 23. 24. jerem. 29. 6. 1. Corinth. 7. 36. 37. 38. Genesis 24. 10. &c and 28. 1. 2. and 4. 4. and 38. 6. 8. josua 15. 16. 17. 2. Samuel 13. 23. judges 14. 1. etc. Let fathers and mothers therefore (on whom this charge by God his Commandment lieth, to take wives for their sons, and to provide husbands for their daughters) take diligent heed hereunto, that they abuse not their power Colos. 3. 21. and authority over their children, but as in other cases, they are willed by the Apostle, that they deal not in such sort to wards them, that they thereby be dismayed & discouraged: so especially in this matter of greatest moment and value of all other worldly things whatsoever, let them abstain from all rigour and roughness, and beware that they turn not their fatherly jurisdiction and government, into a tyrannical sourness and waywardness, letting their will go for a law, and their pleasure for a reason. For the rule of parents over their children, aught to resemble the government of good Princes towards their subjects: that is to say, it must be mild, gentle, and easy to be borne. For as they, so likewise parents, so far as concerneth them, and lieth in their ability to perform, must carry such an even and upright hand in their government, that they may by love seek to win the hearts of those over whom they are set, to be firm and sure towards them: and not to keep them under a servile or slavish awe & subjection, by too much fear, but rather be a childlike and reverend fear, which both the subjects owe unto their Princes, and children unto their parents; and which both the one and the other easily obtain at the hands of such as are under their government, by their equal, upright, and modetate behaviour towards them. It doth therefore stand parents greatly in hand, that in making choice for their children, Parents ought to deal sincerely in the choice for their children. they be free from all sinister and corrupt affection, and that for lucre and covetousness they seek not to thrust such matches upon their children, as they cannot brook nor like well of. Yea, and in this most grave and weighty cause, it is a thing earnestly to be wished, that all Christian parents would not take this matter and business lightly in hand, as it were but a toy, or a jest, but that they begin it with In provision of matches for their children, parents ought to begin with prayer. prayer: that in the whole action they may in such sort be directed, that they do nothing against the word of God, or unbeseeming the same authority the which God himself in this cause hath imposed or laid upon them. And thus doing, God (no doubt) will add a blessing unto their godly endeavour and holy care, and work obedience in the hearts of their children, as he framed the heart of Isaac with entire affection to embrace Rebecca, whom his father Abraham had by his steward provided for him: Gen. 27. 7. etc. The third point that appertaineth to parents, is to be themselves examples of all godliness The third point. Examples do much more persuade then words, 〈◊〉 must 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 not by 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and vertuousneste to their children. So that they must remember, that they themselves do not say, or do any thing that is evil, or offensive, in the presence of their children. For it is certain, that children follow and learn nothing so much, and so soon, as that which they see their father and mother do or say. For the virtue, thriving and prosperity of children, is for the most part wrought by the fathers and mother's good examples and instructions, and chose: for that which is done by examples, the inferiors will think they may lawfully do the like. As good examples do edify and uphold: so ill examples do destroy and confound. For humanity is taught by the law of nature. If therefore parents (by their example) should teach the contrary; what do they else, but endeavour to transform men into beasts, beginning first to perform it in their own children? They must be circumspect that their children do not fight, and injury one another; and if they swear, curse, lie, or speak any bawdy or ribaldous words, or sing any 〈◊〉 rhymes, or unchristian songs, then to reprove them sharply for it. And let all parents always labour, that their children may rather fear them for love and reverence, then for fearé of punishment. For children that obey their parents for fear of correction, commonly fear them no longer than the stripes endure. Before all things, it is needful that parents should show themselves As the father beginneth, so it is like the son will proceed. unto their children as a manifest pattern or example, not only by not sinning and offending God any ways, but also by living godly, and by doing all things honestly, that so their children may look into their lives, and peruse themselves as in a glass. And therefore if parents do give good examples, they shall reap the Gal. 6. 7. fruit thereof, in the life, behaviour, manners, and prosperity of their children. For children love and delight to do as their parents did before them. All Christian fathers ought to be most careful, in nourishing and maintaining natural love and concord amongst the children and family, and in no wise to suffer any spark of hatred to enter into their hearts, lest it kindle a fire in their breasts: much less ought they themselves Mat. 18. 7. to cast in coals of discord among them, by unkind or injurious examples of dealing. For the state of a family if it be in due order, is like to a frame of joining work, or building, whereof if some one piece be out of his place, it tendeth to the disordering of all the rest: and one disorder following another, all becometh out of joint, and falleth into confusion very dispraiseable. So that parents therefore ought to be careful to maintain their children in peace, concord and amity: for if discord and contention be dangerous and pernicious among all men, how much more between brethren and sisters? Likewise if it be hard quenching of stomach and debate between those that are not enjoined in kindred, it is far more difficult to reunite brethren, because enmity amongst them is mighty and strong, like iron-barres, to keep them asunder. Neither is there any thing more slippery or of greater efficacy to subvert a family, than dissension among brethren. It is an old saying: by concord small things do grow; but by discord great things come to nought. Again, how dangerous it is for parents to show more love and affection to one child then to another, except upon just and great cause, the example of lacobs children doth testify. For what was the original of their envy and cruelty executed against their brother joseph? Geneses 37. 3. Moses there saith, that jacob (loving joseph better than his brethren) made him a partie-coloured-coate, and thereof they took occasion to hate him, and to speak roughly unto him. Parents therefore to the end to prevent the like inconveniences, are to use equality among their children, so near as may be, whether in their ordinary usage, or in the division of their goods. For as all men naturally are inclined but too much to the love of earthly goods: so the unequal sharing and dividing of the same, doth oftentimes breed great brawls, and pernicious debate between brethren and sisters. Therefore all fathers and mothers are with great diligence to take heed, what they say or do in their houses, and that they do not commit any lewd or wicked deed, whereby their children may be moved to imitate and follow the same: neither that they utter or speak any bawdy or ribaldous words; or use to swear, or lie in their presence: for evil speakings or communication (saith the Apostle) corrupteth good 1. Cor. 15. 33. manners. Servants also are to be looked unto, and sharply rebuked, if they do commit or show any lewd tricks, or unhonest behaviour in the presence of children, either in word, deed, or gesture. For if they be justly called murderers, that kill the children being newborn, and kill but the body; how great wickedness is it then to kill the minds of children through evil example? Deserve not such servants severely to be punished by law (think you) that bewitch young children, and hurt their weak bodies with poisons? What then do they deserve, which corrupt the chief parts of Infants, with most ungracious venom (we mean) by filthy talk, and lewd conversation of life? Yet it is a lighter matter to kill the body, than the mind and soul. Further, parents ought to be circumspect and wary, that their children do not haunt or use evil company; nor use any unhonest pastime. For if it be so, that a father will not suffer his child to come into a place where he may be in danger to take hurt of his body, either by infection of the plague, or otherwise: how much more is he bound to withhold and keep his child from coming there where he should hurt and poison his soul? The fourth and last point is, that parents do with all care and diligence, keep their children The last point. from all lazy idleness; a vice (no doubt) out of which do spring many inconuehiences, and is condemned by the holy Ghost in many places of Scripture: whereby God declareth, that he created no man in vain, or to no purpose: neither is there any man, unto whom he hath not allotted (as it were) a certain standing and Gen. 3. 19 Ezech. 16. 49. Prou. 12. 11. & 18. 9 1. Tim. 5. 10. 11. 2. Thes. 3. 10. 11. room, and a lawful calling to walk in. Whereupon it followeth, that the order which God hath appointed, is troubled by such as live idly: yea, God's ordinance is broken, which is a great sin and wickedness. So then, by the word of God none ought to live idly, and to neglect his charge and duty, but aught to give himself to some profitable calling to get his living by, and to do good to others. Although fathers provide for their children, great store of money, and huge heaps of treasure; yet in three 〈◊〉 four hours all may be wasted and come to nought. For much evil cometh through idleness: it is an evil teacher; he that doth nothing is ill occupied. The mind of man is ever stirring and doing somewhat: if it be not doing well, it is doing ill. As water, though it be never so clear and fair, fresh and comfortable; yet if it stand still in a pit or hole, or be kept long in a vessel, whence it hath no issue, it will putrify and corrupt, rot, and smell, and he unwholesome: Even so fareth it with children; yea, and with all the sons of Adam, if they have nothing to do, no way to bestow their wits, they will rot, & prove unwholesome, and devose mischief all the day long. For as labour and exercise of body of one Idleness bringeth much evil. man, industry and diligence of mind in another man, are sure forts, and strong bulwarks of country's; even so, idleness and negligence are the cause of all evil: for an idle man's brain becometh quickly the shop of the devil. And as in all things natural, there is one thing or other which is the spoil of it; as the Canker to the rose; the Worm to the apple, and the Caterpillar to the leaf: so the common spoil to all youth, is the contrary to pains & labour, which is idleness. Therefore is idleness worthily called the mother of all evils, and step dame of all virtues. The Prophet Ezechiel in his sixteenth Chapter, verse forty nine, teacheth that idleness was one of the principal sins of Sodom, which pulled down fire and brimstone from heaven upon their heads. This idleness is the devil's confederate: for even as the traitorous servant, while his master is a sleep, and all thing at rest, setteth open the door for the thief to enter in upon him, and spoil him at his pleasure: even so, idleness, (while we are not aware) lying soft upon the pillows of security, openeth the door for the devil to enter into us, with full swing, to the destruction both of body and soul. Saint Matthew saith, Chapter thirteen, verse twenty five; that while men slept, the enemy came and sowed 〈◊〉 among the wheat: So, the fittest time that the devil can find to work upon us, is when we are idle; for that is the sleep of the soul. In the eleventh Chapter of the second of Samuel, we read, that while David tarried idle at home, in the beginning of the year, when kings used to go forth to battle, he was soon overtaken with two fowl sins, of adultery and manflaughter. Oh that men saw to how many vices and evils they shut the door, when they cease to be idle, and give themselves to honest labours, and 〈◊〉 lawful calling! So long as Samson (judg. 19) warred with the Philistines, he could never be taken or overcome, but after that he gave himself to idleness and pleasure, he not only committed fornication with the strumpet Dalilah, but also was taken of his enemies, and had his eyes miserably put out. If those two which were such excellent men, endued of God with singular gifts, (the one of prophecy, and the other of strength) and such as no labour or trouble could overcome, were notwithstanding overthrown, & fell into grievous sins, by yielding for a short time to ease; then what crimes, what mischiefs, and inconveniences are to be feared of them, who all their life long, give themselves to idleness and loitering? But such hath always been the perverse incredulity of men's hearts, that they will not believe that other men have perished, until they themselves perish also. If we be utterly void of understanding, let us go to the bruit creatures, which want those helps of reason and government that man hath, and learn of them: Go to the Pismire, o sluggard, (saith Solomon; Prou. 6. 6.) behold her ways, and be wise; For she having no guide nor ruler, prepareth her meat in summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest. What is it that filleth the prisons, and bringeth so many to the gallows, & causeth so many parents to lament and bewail the untimely death of their children, but idleness? When the poor condemned wretches have received their judgements, and come to the place of execution, and stand on the ladder; what counsel give they to young men and to children, but to beware of idleness? What is the cause of such, and so many diseases in the body? Ask the Physicians, and they will tell you, idleness. Whereof rise rebellions in kingdoms against Princes? Whereof rise mutinies and mutterings in Cities against Magistrates? You can give no greater cause thereof, then idleness. Christ our Redeemer saith; Of every idle word Mat. 12. 36. (that is, vain and unprofitable trifles, which the most part of people spend their lives in) that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof at the day of judgement. If we shall make an account for idle words, what shall we do for idle hands, for idle feet, for idle body, for idle soul? What account for all idleness, especially for wicked deeds, shall we make at the day of judgement? Seeing then, that idleness is so noisome and hurtful; let all Christian parents therefore labour and endeavour to avoid it, both in themselves and their children, as a plague, or contagious disease. Therefore it is most requisite and necessary, that parents do bring up their children, either in To learn that Science which they be most apt for. learning, or in some occupation and handicraft, whereby they may get their living another day, and so live the better. But some unadvisedly and foolishly do reason saying; what need is it for noble and rich men's Objection. children to have learning? they shall have enough? We answer, the greater the ship is, and the Answer. more merchandise it carrieth about, the more need it hath of a cunning ship-maister: So, the greater the child is (both by birth, and by inheritance) so much the more need is it for him to be brought up in learning, and in good literature. For learning, knowledge, and understanding, Pro. 3. 13. 14. 15. is profitable both for rich and poor: so that (as the Grecians say) he that is ignorant and unlearned, seeth nothing, although he have eyes. The life of such a one, is (as a tree without fruit) a day without Sun, a night without Moon or Stars, a house without a man, and an head without a body. It is found by experience, which is the best Schoolmaster, that unto what occupation or science soever any young man shall be put, the more skill and knowledge he hath in the liberal Sciences, so much the more sooner shall be learn his occupation; and the more ready, and handsomer shall he be about the same. And besides all this, he that hath learning, although it be but small, shall much better understand the Preachers, and take more profit by hearing of them, to his great and endless comfort, than he that hath no learning. Experience also teacheth us this, that goods, riches, beauty, glory, and health, be unstable, and fade, perish, pass away, come and go: but learning and virtue never stagger, always be constant. Therefore of all the charges that parents be at about their children, that money is best bestowed, that is laid out upon learning: especially when they are taught to know God aright, and how he will be served. It is a lamentable thing, to consider how careless some parents are of their children, when they put them to the school, in that they make small account and reckoning to what schoolmaster they put their children to learn, so they may have them taught for little or no cost, though their children profit little or nothing in learning; so that oftentimes they not only bestow their money in vain, but also they suffer their children to lose their time, which is a thing so precious, as it cannot be redeemed with any money, and so let them spend two or three years in learning that, which they might by the diligence and orderly teaching of a skilful schoolmaster, learn in less than half this time, if there be any aptness and towardness in the children. Therefore let parents remember, that as the goodness of the ground is not much profitable for corn, unless there be a meet husbandman to till and sow the same: so likewise it is not enough to find good towardness in your children, unless you provide a meet and fit Schoolmaster to further the same. And as Noblemen and Gentlemen are desirous to have a good and skilful horsekeeper, that can keep their horses well, and they spare not to give stipends to such: even so much more ought Christian parents to be desirous to have, and maintain a good Schoolmaster, that might bring up their children in virtue, wisdom and good learning. And like as if their horle be not well broken, or have any 〈◊〉 quality, they will be careful to see it remedied, and that he may be made tractable and gentle: so likewise godly parents ought to be much more careful, not only that their children may by instruction be brought to some good order, but also to look that there be no fault in the teacher, to whom they commit the care to bring them up in learning and good manners. But alas, and with grief be it spoken, many men now a days, albe it they perceive their children to be toward and apt unto letters, and capable to receive good learning, having wealth and riches enough to maintain them thereat, yet will they not suffer them to continue thereat until they come to any good perfection: Why some men bring not up their children to any good perfection in learning. some because they themselves do not like of our state & religion: othersome because they see little preferment, and no worldly advantage to follow learning, but great trouble and affliction: all which men, in this doing, declare themselves to be irreligious, ungodly, and destroyers both of themselves, their children, and of all Commonwealths and congregations. For what public wealth, Town, City, or Parish, can be well governed, except the Prince, Magistrate, or Preacher, be learned both in humane and divine laws? In times past when ignorance and superstition was accounted good devotion, at which time men saw so many spiritual promotions (as they then called them) unto rich Bishoprickes, Abbeys, Priories, Deaneries, Benefices, etc. then they would let for no cost to have their children learned in some sort, to the end they might get them to be Priests, and so to say Mass, and the rest of that idolatrous service, that so they might live in ease and idleness. But now that they see how painful and perilous a charge it is to preach, and rightly to divide God's word, and to deliver the same freely and faithfully, and also how unthankful an office and calling it is, to govern well a congregation: they had rather their children should be bound prentices to some trade, or else follow any other profession, then that they should study Divinity. When children were nothing apt to good learning, and when there was no good learning to be had, no, nor good teachers; yet then, well was he that might set his child to School. But now, when youth was never so apt to good learning, as it is at this day: and learning and all good means never so plenteously flourishing; being restored and reduced into such a facility, and a compendious briefness: yea, never so good, learned, and skilful schoolmasters: never such plenty of so good and plain books printed, never so good cheap: the holy Ghost mercifully offering his gifts, as it were, into the mouths of all men: few there be that will open their mouths to receive them, their eyes to see the clear light, nor yet their ears to hear so pure, manifest, and wholesome, and heavenly doctrine, even the word of God, the means of our salvation. It is therefore to be feared, that for this our great unthankfulness, these so manifold heavenly blessings shall be taken from us, and given to some other nation, that will both be more thankful for them, and also show forth better fruits of Christianity, than we hitherto have done. Oh therefore that parents would advisedly consider, that the want of this Christian duty, of the good education of their children, is the only cause of great mischief and much misery, both upon children and themselves; yea, in truth it is from hence that so much sorrow, grief, and shame, befalleth many times upon the fathers and mothers. And how cometh this to pass, that the parents own dung is cast in their faces by their own children, in mocking and despising of them? and whence arise all these inconveniences before named, together with all these grievous plagues and judgements of God upon their children, to the consuming of their eyes, but from this their own negligence, in bringing up their children? For it is even just with God, that seeing they have offended him in the greatest blessings, they should be plagued with the same thing wherein they offended him, in the greatest judgements. O you unnatural parents! the rich man in Luke 16. 27. hell shall rise up against you in the day of judgement, and condemn you: for he being in hell had a care of his father's house, that they might be forewarned: and therefore desired Abraham to send Lazarus to his brethren, to testify unto them that they came not into that place of torment: but you will not admonish your children, you will not teach them Moses & the Prophets: and you will not show them the danger of God's heavy displeasure hanging over their heads, and therefore your own children shall be one of the furies of hell to torment you. The Lord open your eyes to foresee and fly these fearful judgements. But if you will bring them up well and virtuously, Prou. 22. 6. they shall be the better for it all their lives after: nay, the world to come shall reap this benefit: for such children as you now bring-up, such parents shall they be after when you are gone: and look what parents you leave behind you, the like children again shall they rear up. Wherefore, o you parents, you are either the making or the marring of the world: for if your children learn no good education at your hands, how should they be good fathers after you? and how should they leave that to their posterity by the right of inheritance, which they never received from their ancestors? To conclude this point we say, once again, Oh ye parents, endeavour to go forward in this virtuous education of your children, and then (no doubt) God neither shall, nor will hide any necessary secret or instruction from you, neither will he withhold any good blessing from your posterity: so shall ye be fathers of the faithful, as Abraham was, if you will have the same care, and practise the same diligence for your children and family, that he did. Genes. 18. 18. 19 and 12. 2. 3. Parents also have to remember, that they shall commit an act very unnatural, injurious, and ungodly, if they should undeservedly disinherit their eldest son. For as nature in all her works, for the most part seemeth to make some 〈◊〉 of the eldest 〈◊〉 is athing 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. one thing to be chief before all the rest, whereby the same is, and the rather continueth: so reason in the order of a family, which is an imitation of a state civil, or body politic, persuadeth Chron. 21. 3. by experience, that of necessity there be one before the rest as chief: whereby may be conserved, that beauty of unity, and harmony of concord, which the Almighty in his creation so wonderfully and diversely teacheth, and our Saviour himself so carefully and especially commended to his Church. And thereof seemeth to come that pre-eminence or more special regard, which the Law of God in the old Testament appointed to his people the Israelites, to Exod. 13. 1. 2. & 34. 19 20. Num. 3. 13. & 18. 16. be observed towards the first begotten son, and likewise somewhat concerning other dumb creatures, which first were brought forth into the world. By the ancient law of the jews, the eldest had double so much as the others, of the father's goods, and alone to the eldest pertained the blessing of the father, wherewith should seem always the heritage to go and succeed: as is manifest by the will of God in Deut. 21. 15. 16. 17. If a man have two wives, one loved, and another hated, and they have borne him children, both the loved, and also the hated: if the first borne be the son of the hated, then when the time cometh, that he appointeth his sons to be heirs of that which he hath, he may not make the son of the beloved first borne before the son of the hated, which is the first borne: but he shall acknowledge the son of the hated, which is the first borne, and give him double portion of all that he hath: for he is the first of his strength, and to him belongeth the right of the first borne. The patriarchs and other the servants of God, although by divine revelation and other notice of the will of God, they were certified that they might marry many of sundry wives at one time, yet did they exclude from their heritage the prerogative of the blessing, all the children of those secondary and after marriages. This appeareth in Genes. 21. 10. The son of the bondwoman shall not be heir with my son Isaac: yet was he the eldest, but was not the son of the first marriage, nor borne of a freewoman. Also an heir is the work and institution of nature, and heritage is due to the son of nature, therefore it is so due that he must needs have it; seeing those things which come by nature, or be natural, are not mutable or to be changed. Moreover, this name heir, which in a manner with all nations is the eldest, is the successor of the law national, besides the laws natural and divine. And that father who maketh another heir, then is by the Authorities appointed, cannot but express himself a Rebel, in disobeying and contemning so great laws and authorities, beginning a new law of his own head contrary thereunto. Then what is more unjust, then to do contrary to all laws, and therewith to disobey the will of God, to pervert the due order of descent, preferring the second marriage before the first; the younger before the elder; the late offspring before the first begotten; so much tendered and respected? Now, as the greatest injury a father can do to his son, is to disherit him: so it it the most reproachful blot or damage, to suffer. the infamy and discredit of disherison. For if the eldest son be worthy to be disherited in his father's house, he may be thought not worthy to draw breath out of it: for that he ought to be convinced faulty in those crimes and heinous offences, which be either repugnant to the duty of a child, or not meet for the profession of a Christian. Namely, if he strike or offer violence to his father: Deut. 21. 18. etc. if he oppress him with some great wrong: if he seek his death or destruction, by poisoning, Gen. 35. 22. 1. Chron. 5. 1. or otherwise: if he lie with his father's wife, if he will not suffer his father to make his will: if he be not of the true and Catholic faith, but is convinced to be an heretic, whereby his life and heritage is in hazard. Or if he refuse to succour and deliver his father out of prison, by his surety-ship; or if he follow the trade and company of such persons, as in the law be counted infamous, vile, and most dishonest; as jugglers, Sorcerers, Conjurers, thieves, Cozeners, and Pirates. Or if he be an idiot, a madman, a natural, or lunatic person. Or if the father offering him a meet marriage, under five and twenty years, he refuse it, and delight to live continually in whoredom, and filthy order of life: These and such like be the causes, that the Civil or Ecclesiastical laws do assign. The duty of Children towards their Parents. THis duty of children, as it may be gathered out of the holy Scriptures, consisteth in five points. 1. First, that they a Eph 6. 1. 2. 3. Colos. 3. 20. obey their parents, and do serve them, and also do b Levit. 19 3. Num. 12. 14. fear, love, honour, and reverence them; not only in word and deed, but in their hearts and minds also. 2. Secondly, that they follow their good precepts and examples of life. 3. Thirdly, that they patiently take c Pro. 15. 5. 1. Tim. 5. 4. Mat. 15. 4. 5. 6 correction at their hands. 4. Fourthly, that they make continual and hearty prayers to God for them. 5. And lastly, that they do relieve, maintain, and nourish their parents, in case they shall fall Gen. 47. 12. into poverty or decay. The sum and effect of all which, is as followeth. AS the Lord our God, hath made and created children, through their parents: so hath he cast and made them subject under the power Fathers and mothers are to their children in God's stead. Exod. 20. 12. Deut. 5. 15. By honour is meant all kind of duty which children owe to their parents. and authority of their parents, to obey and serve them in his stead; saying, Honour thy father and thy mother: which honour consisteth not in bowing the knee, or putting off the cap, or giving to their parents the upperhand only: but in this, that they love them with all their hearts, that they fear and dread them, that they cheerfully do their commandments, will, and pleasure; that they seek their worship, credit, profit, and preferment in all things lawful: and if need require, that they give their lives for them: remembering that they are their parents goods and possessions; and that they owe to them, even their own selves, and all that they are able to do; yea, and more than they are able. By this word Honour, is also signified the love, reverence, duty, obedience, subjection, entertainment, and necessary assistance that children owe to their parents. As concerning the love; the summary of the second Table, comprehended in these words; Theu shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: doth manifestly confirm 〈◊〉. 23. 39 it. For who can be a nearer neighbour for the children to love, than their parents? Besides that, they are not to be loved only as neighbours proceeding of Adam and Eve, but also as fathers and mothers. And therefore, what ingratitude is it, not to love those, of whom (next after God) they have their life and being: together, with so many great and continual benefits? Also the love that parents do bear to their children, besides so many their labours, sorrows, troubles, and vexations, should bind them reciprocally to love them. The Sun shining a while upon the cold stones, doth so heat them, that they yield some warmth; so, albeit that children be as hard and cold as stones, yet the experience, and daily feeling of the love of their parents towards them, ought mightily to inflame their hearts to love them again. Take away the beam from the Sun, and it will not shine: the springs from the river, and it will dry up; the bough from the tree, and it will wither; the member from the body, and it will rot; and so take from children their duty to their parents, and they are no longer children, but brethren and companions with those unto whom Christ jesus said; Ye are children of the devil: joh. 8. 44. This band of the love of children towards their parents, should take such place, not only towards such parents as are loving and gentle, but also (as Saint Peter saith, of the duties of servants to their masters) even towards such as be rigorous. For if we ought to love all the children of Adam, even those whom we know not, yea, out enemies and persecutors: how much rather our parents, although they should entreat us roughly, and with rigour, either in word or deed? And verily the principal cause still abideth: namely, that they be our father and mother. This ought children well to note, to the end that patiently bearing their reprehensions, reproofs, and in general, whatsoever their troublesome and sharp affections, they may still continue and declare their childlike affection and love. And to that purpose, children must remember, the labour, grief, anguisn, weeping, sorrow, and other troublesome cares that their parents do abide, and endure for them. This love must be accompanied with reverence and respect: and to say the truth, albeit the name of Father, belongeth properly unto God, as jesus Christ saith: You have but one Father, Mat. 23. 9 even he which is in heaven; yet doth he so impart it to those that have begotten us, that they being called fathers do bear the title and Image of God. And this is it that bindeth children to respect and honour them, and to testify the same by their outward reverence. Of this reverence we have a notable example in Solomon: he understanding that his mother Bethshebah, 1. King. 2. 19 was coming to speak with him, arole from his seat, came to meet her, bowed before her, and seated her upon his right hand. Neither could his greatness, neither his Royall-estate, privilege him from this respect and honour due to his mother. When the son doth execute magistracy, or public office, he is greater than his father, and must bear himself as a magistrate, not as a son: but when he is out of place, or execution of office, he must (how highly soever he be advanced) have a respect, and yield reverence to his parents. But many times it falleth out otherwise: for many children when they come to honour or wealth, do so despise their parents, if they be of meaner calling than themselves, that hardly they will acknowledge, or call them father: as if they were ashamed of them. So that, that man putteth off the affection of a child to his father, who by the eminency of an office over him, quencheth the name of a son. But Solomon forgot not himself in this kind 1. King. 2. 20. of duty, for he did not only bow before his mother, but said, Mother, ask, and I will not deny thee. And this do we the rather note also, upon an other consideration; namely, that his example condemneth the custom of these days, wherein this name of father and mother, is accounted so base and contemptible, that the children of Kings, Princes, yea, even of mean Gentlemen, speaking to their parents, must not say, father, mother; but Sir: my Lord: my Lady: Madame: etc. But the due honour to parents, that we here speak of, implieth not only this outward reverence, but also that we should so esteem of them, as that neither we ourselves should despise them, nor suffer othersto have them in contempt. And this are we to understand in the saying of jesus Christ: I honour my Father, but ye dishonour me. He therefore defendeth the honour of his Father, against the joh. 849. false opinions and slanders of the jews. But some there are so unnatural and perverse, that forgetting all due reverence and respect to their parents, they will not only despise them in their own hearts, and suffer others to speak hardly of them, but also will themselves so far exceed, as even to lay them open to the scorn of others. Ham the son of Noah, seeing his father lie uncovered, called his brethren, to show them his father's shame. But so odious was this impiety in the sight of God, that Noah (by the 〈◊〉. 9 22. conduct and direction of the holy Ghost) cursed both him and all his 〈◊〉. And therefore, we (well and truly) may say, that those children, who in stead of defending the honour of their parents, do lay them open to shame and reproof, do come of the cursed seed of Ham. This duty of honouring parents, is performed and paid, when they do worshipfully, The honour due to parents. and reverently esteem of them, as to think that they are given to them of God, to the end that they should reverence, love, and always children's duty is, from their beginning to their ending, to be subject, obedient, and helpful to their parents. have a care of them: if for nothing else, yet for the Lords sake; who is, and doth think himself despised, so long as the children condemn their parents, and little regard them. So the children honour their parents, when with their help and counsel, they aid them in their old age and unwieldy crookedness, when they ease and help them in the time of their need, or succour Mat. 15. 4. 5. 6 Exod. 21. 15. 17. them otherwise in any case else, and do wholly bestow themselves, and all that they Levit. 20. 9 Pro. 20. 20. & 30. 17. Deut. 〈◊〉. 16. have to do them good withal: yea, they ought not to give them a rough or stubborn answer, or once so much as to mumble, of 〈◊〉 an answer against their parents; neither to smite, or curse, or speak evil of their father and mother: unless they will procure the vengeance of God to light upon them for the same. Children ought always to remember, that What children do to their parents, they do to God, so that they may not purloin or diminish any of their substance. Pro. 28. 24. whatsoever they do to their fathers and mothers, (be it good or evil) they do it to God: when they please them, they please God: and when they disobey them, they disobey God: when their parents are justly angry with them, God is angry with them: neither can it be that they may come to have the favour of God again, (no, although all the Saints in heaven should entreat for them) until they have submitted themselves to their father and mother. If children and servants would always keep in mind this saying: so to do and behave themselves to their parents, Masters, and Dames, as they would have their children and servants to do, and behave themselves to them, when God Mat. 7. 12. shall vouchsafe to make them parents, masters, or dames: then (no doubt) they would obey and reverence their parents and masters, and dames, more dutifully, and faithfully, then now they do. For, let them assure themselves, that such measure as they 〈◊〉 meet to their parents, masters, Mat. 7. 2. and dames, such will be measured to them again by their children and servants. Also the children must be careful to follow the good examples of their fathers and mothers, and to suffer themselves to be governed by them, and to be mindful to bestow all pain and diligence to discharge their duty towards them: And herewithali, they must know, that they are not at their own liberty, to do as they list, so long as they have a father and mother to rule them: and that they must not fall out among themselves, but naturally love and help one another. And children have always to remember, that they may not in any case obey their parents, when they shall command them to do or say any thing that is contrary to the word of God, and yet they are to be thought well of. For example, jonathan obeyed not his father Saul's commandment, who charged him to 1. Sam. 20. 28. &c & 22. 17. Dan. 3. 18. Act. 4. 19 persecute David: and therefore he is worthily commended in the holy Scriptures. For, the duties of the first Table are always to be preferred before the duties of the second Table. This subjection therefore that children owe unto their fathers, aught in very deed to be unto them as a ladder, or stair, to lead them to the reverence and obedience of God, who is our Mat. 23. 9 chief Father. As children receive of their parents three things, to wit, life, maintenance, and instruction: so for these three, they owe other three: namely, for life, they owe love: for maintenance, they owe obedience: for instruction, they owe reverence. For their life, they must fervently love their parents: for their maintenance, they must dutifully obey their parents, as masters: and for their instruction, they must cheerfully reverence their parents, as their tutors. And further, children must remember, that the Lord hath given to them their parents, to take of them their beginning of life, and that they might nourish and bring them up: and that of rude and almost brutish things, they might make them able to help and live of themseluer: yea, and such mothers as are godly and virtuous, do suffer and endure more pain and grief in the bearing, bringing up, and nourishing of their children, than the fathers do. So that greater are the pleasures and good turns that Christian parents do for their children, greater is the cost and labour that they bestow on them, and greater is the care, grief, and trouble, which they take for them, than any man how learned soever he be, is able to express. And therefore if there were no other reasons, or causes to move children greatly to love, to esteem well, to obey, to be kind, faithful, and dutiful, and to reverence their parents, and that with such a reverence as cometh from the heart: yet these were sufficient. Maids and young women are to be put in mind, and always to remember, that the best portion, the greatest inheritance, and the most precious jewel that they can bring with them on the marriage day, is shamefastness: the want whereof is most hurtful in all women. And therefore they must carefully shun and avoid all idle and wanton talk, nice looks, dalliance, and light countenance, when they walk abroad or be in company. A man needeth many things, as wisdom, eloquence, knowledge of things, remembrance, skill in some trade or craft to live by, justice, courage, and other things, and qualities moe, which were too long to rehearse: and though some of these be lacking, yet is he not to be misliked, so that he have many of them. But in a maid, no man will look for eloquence, great wit, ordering of the Commonwealth, prudence, etc. Finally, no man will look for any other thing of a woman, but her honesty: the which When a woman loseth her honesty, then hath she lost her chiefe treasure. only if it be lacking, she is like a man that wanteth all that he should have. For in a maid, her honesty and chastity is in stead of all. She verily may truly be said to be an evil keeper, that cannot keep one thing well, committed to her keeping, and put in trust to her, with much commendation of words: and especially which no man will take from her against her will, nor touch it, except she be willing herself. The which thing only if a woman remember, it will cause her to take great heed unto, and to be a more wary and careful keeper of her honesty, which alone being lost, though all other things be never so well and safe, yet they perish together therewith, because she that hath once lost her honesty, should think there is nothing left. Take from a maid or woman her beauty, take from her, kindred, riches, comeliness, eloquence, sharpness of wit, cunning in her craft, and give her chastity, and you have given her all things. And on the other side, give her all these things, & justly call her whore, or naughtie-packe: with that one word you have taken all from her, and left her bare and foul. How precious a jewel chastity is, may easily be gathered from the example of Dinah the daughter of Leah, which she bore unto jacob, who Gen. 34. 12. when he heard that she was 〈◊〉 and defiled by Shechem the son of Hamer the Hivite, Lord of that country, his mind was grievously wounded with this great shame and reproach. Children may not forget this duty; for having received their being from their parents, and being Children may not marry without the consent & agreement of their 〈◊〉: so that an unlawful promise made by the child, may lawfully be broken. brought up by them with great pains and much cost, they should not so much as give any liking, much less speech of marriage, without the consent of parents, or of those which are set over them by their parents: the duty of thankfulness requiring it at their hands. And not only in regard of thankfulnesse is this duty to be performed to their parents, but even in regard of their own inability, as being not experienced in such things, as their wits being not so ripe as their parents, they wanting wisdom and discretion to behave themselves as they ought. For some children know not what is mere and convenient for them, nor whether they be of meet age and condition to marry. Which inability being in the sons, is much more in the daughters, as being the weaker by nature, and more unable to provide for themselves; and therefore it is necessary that they should not marry without the consent and direction of their parents, but that they be at their bestowing: for, to do otherwise is a sin, even that nature itself abhorreth, and all sound writers, old and new, do utterly disallow. And for so much as marriage is the means the which God himself hath ordained, and sanctified for the propagation and increase of mankind, that being taken in hand in his fear, It is a sweet wedding, when the father and the mother bring ablessing to the feast: and a heavy union, which is cursed the firsnt day that it is knit. a godly seed being multiplied and grown up here on earth, the same may be blessed, to the constitution and making of a Church, the which may serve him in holiness and righteousness: when the same is taken in hand with the breach of his commandment, so far off is it that any blessing is to be hoped for, that chose, his hot indignation, wrath and heavy curse hangeth over that house and family, where the parties which are the principal pillars and upholders of the same, are linked and tied together in such a band of wedlock, whose links and enclosings are not fastened and coupled together with the necessary and lawful assent and liking of the parents, whose authority and consent ought to bear the chiefest sway, and strike likewise the greatest stroke, in this honourable 〈◊〉. And likewise, as where marriage is begun and enterprised in the fear of God, according to his word, there God is well pleased, there the parties so matched, live together in a joyful agreement, & linking the one to the other, there God is honoured, and served in sincerity and truth: there the children (when God giveth them) with the rest of the family, are instructed and brought up in knowledge of religion, and grounds of faith: so on the other side, the regard of that which God especially commandeth, being shut out of our marriages, there must needs ensue his dislike, and displeasure: there is a jar and discord: there God's honour is neglected: there household discipline and Christian instruction of such as belong unto our charge, goeth utterly to wrack, and is nothing at all regarded. And no marvel: for, if where God blesseth, all things go well and do prosper: then consequently, where he curseth, there nothing thriveth, hath good success, or goeth happily forward. It may appear by sundry examples, both before the Law was given and after, that this is a duty required of children towards their parents, namely, to have their consent in contracting of marriage: as these places do plainly show: Gen. 21. 21. and 24. 3. etc. and 29. 19 and 34. 4. Deut. 7. 3. judge. 14. 1. etc. 1. Cor. 7. 36. 38. 1. Sam. 18. 1. Whereby is manifestly proved, that children ought not to match without the consent of their parents: First, because it is against the law of nature. Secondly, because the parents have authority over their children, more than they have over their servants. Thirdly, because children are their father's goods and riches, and therefore they must not bestow themselves in marriage, but must be bestowed of their parents. Fourthly, because parents have authority over the vows of their children. Numb. 30. 4. 5. 6. Contracts void without the consent of parents. Fiftly, if a man's daughter be enticed, yet her father may refuse the contract; being not available, or of any force, without his consent. Exod. 22. 16. 17. Besides all this, what clearer proof can we have then the fifth Commandment, in the which children are commanded to honour their fathers and mothers, with a blessing promised to those which perform the same? whereby we gather, by the nature of contraries, that there is a curse also belonging to all those children that shall dishonour them. And in that God willeth that the parents by their children should be honoured, he meaneth that they should in all humility and modesty reverence them, with all dutiful submission be obedient unto them: and with all willingness show themselves thankful for their creation, education, sustentation, and all other benefits that (under God) they have received from them; being ready by all the means they possibly may, to imitate and express towards them the nature of the Stroke: whose property (as they write of them,) is to provide meat, and feed their dams, when through age they grow so old that they are not able to help themselves: that is to say, they must to their very utmost, seek to make them recompense and requital of some part of those unrequitable pains, the which their loving parents have taken with them, and make some amends for the uncountervailable kindness that they have showed towards them. But where they bestow themselves in marriage without the consent of their parents, there they do fault, and make a breach of duty, in all these three respects: that is to say, they neither reverence, obey, nor show themselves thankful unto them. For reverence consisteth in this, that children carry towards their parents, a certain honest and modest shamefastness, joined with a bashful awfulness, and standing in fear of them: the which worketh in them a conceiving of such opinion and estimation of them, as that they have an especial respect and regard of them, in doing or not doing of things, rather of a care to please them, then of a fear to offend them. Obedience herein showeth forth itself, in that willingly, without murmuring or grudging they be willing to be ordered, directed, guided, and ruled by their parents: being ready to do all lawful things, which they command them, and to refrain from those things, which they forbid them. Thankfulness, (besides that there are many other branches) is always mindful of benefits received, and therefore carrieth continually a vigilant and watchful eye towards the party by whom it hath been pleasured, that no discourtesy in any case be offered, or any occasion be ministered, whereby he may conceive unkindness. And by this familiar description of these three heads (wherein standeth chiefly the honour due unto parents,) we may clearly see, that those children which in wedding tarry not for the consent of their fathers and mothers, do neither stand in awful fear of them, as whom they would be loath to offend or displease, nor yet give over themselves in all things to be governed and advised by them: nor have any regard that they be not causers to make their friends and parents conceive hardly and unkindly of them, when as it is more than manifest, that in matters concerning their duty towards their parents, no grief cutteth nearer unto the heart, than this, when their children entangle themselves contrary to their mind and liking. And therefore such children as match in this sort, as it were in spite of the teeth of their fathers and mothers, are neither reverend, obedient, nor thankful unto them, and so consequently, they do not honour them: whereby they incur and run into the curse of God, which without true and unfeigned repentance, must needs pull down upon the heads of themselves and their families, the fearful plagues of God his most heavy and hot indignation against them, to their utter subversion, decay and ruin. Let all dutiful and good nurtured children therefore, in the reverence and fear of God, consider what honour and obedience they owe unto their parents, and what power and authority he hath in his word sanctified unto them over their children in the Lord; and in regard hereof, let them yield unto them in this duty, that their father's having provided for them such as are not of a wicked life, nor deformed, nor evill-favoured, nor of a contrary religion, they 〈◊〉 submit themselves unto their Children 〈◊〉, are to pray unto God to direct their parents in a godly choice, and to 〈◊〉 their minds to accept of the same. choice, which if for the present, or upon the sudden they cannot yield unto, let them by earnest calling upon the name of God, not only desire him to direct their parents in a godly and fit choice, but also to subdue in them this corrupt affection, and to frame their wills to be pliable unto their fathers, in such lawful cases. For the Lord our God in his justice doth justly punish disobedient children, as may appear by the example of Ham, the younger son of Noah; who derided his father, and was justly punished 〈◊〉. 9 22. for it. Likewise Absalon using wicked practices to 2. Sam. 15. 1. etc. & 18. 14. get the kingdom from David his father, for rebellion and disobedience, came to a most miserable end. Yea, and he hath in his law set down a most severe and sharp punishment against disobedient children: If any man have a son that Deut 21. 18. 19 20. 21. is stubborn and disobedient, which will not hear 〈◊〉 unto the voice of his father, and the voice of his mother and they have chastened him, and he would not obey them: then shall his father and his mother take him, and bring him out unto the Elders of the City, and unto the gates of the place where he dwelleth, and shall say unto the Elders of his City; This our son is stubborn and disobedient, and he will not obey our admonition: he is a rioter and a drunkard. Then all the men of the City shall stone him with stones unto death: So thou shalt take away evil from among you, that all Israel may hear it and fear. For even Exod. 20. 12. Ephes 6. 2. Deut. 28. 15. etc. levit. 26. 14. etc. as a long and a prosperous life is promised unto obedient children: so on the other side, all disobedient, unthankful, and obstinate children, are assured of the punishment of infamy, joined with diverse and great calamities and torments. 1. Sam. 2. 22. 1. King. 1. 25. etc. Deut. 21. 18. etc. Prou. 20. 20. & 30. 17. And although that the temporal officers be negligent in punishing this disobedience, yet shall they not escape unpunished: for the vengeance of God shall accompany them, until they be utterly destroyed. For there is nothing more unnatural then to see children dishonour and disobey their parents; and inferiors their superiors. Such may aptly be compared to the Viper, that gnaweth out the belly of her dam, and seeketh her own life with her dams death. So chose, the word of God doth highly commend joseph for his great love, beneficence, and obedience extended towards 〈◊〉 father Gen. 46 29. etc. and 48. 〈◊〉 12. jacob, and his brethren: in that he both helped and liberally nourished them, and prayed for them. Our Saviour Christ was also obedient to his parents, even until death. So that the Luke 2. 51. Lord (no doubt) will bless obedient children, with many happy days and years, to his glory, and their soul's comfort. And to the end to invite and stir up children to honour their parents, as before is showed, the Deut. 5. 16. Exed. 20. 12. Lord addeth this promise, That thy days may be long in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee: And S. Paul doth note, that it is the first Commandment Ephes. 6. 2. with promise. For albeit there be a promise added to the second, and others of the first Table, yet this fifth Commandemennt is the first of righteousness; and none in the second Table, besides it, hath any promise annexed thereunto. For herein hath God declared how highly he commendeth the obedience and honour that children yield to their parents. But the Lord spoke to the Israelites properly of the land that he had promised them for an inheritance, which should be unto them as a testimony and seal of his goodness and love towards them. It is therefore, as if he should have said: To the end, that living upon the earth, thou mayest long enjoy the earnest penny of my goodness and grace towards thee. But now seeing the whole earth is blessed to the faithful, the promise of long life upon the earth, is unto us a blessing of God. First, because we cannot live long without participating of many & great benefits of God, even in respect of the preservation of this present life. Secondly, because the faithful may the longer employ themselves to serve & glorify God. In consideration whereof, we see what the Church in old time said: The dead praise not the Psal. 115. 17. 18. Lord, neither any that go down into the place of silence: but we will praise the Lord from henceforth, and for ever. The same doth Hezekiah King of judah also note in his Canticle: The living, the living, Esay 38. 19 he shall confess thee, as I do this day: the fathers to the children shall declare thy truth. In as much therefore, as long life is promised as a blessing; God doth continue it to obedient children, so long as it is a blessing unto them. And hereupon doth S. Paul join together these two sentences: That it may go well with thee, Ephes. 6. 3. and that thou mayest live long upon the earth. As also when God taketh away such obedient children before they be old; yea, before they come unto man's estate: whether it be, lest malice should corrupt their hearts, or to prevent some greater calamities, wherein they might (peradventure) be entangled, or upon whatsoever other considerations, to receive them into a better life, he doth faithfully perform his promise unto such children, because he dealeth better than promise with them. But as chose, this promise threateneth such children as will not honour their parents, with short life: so doth experience declare, that many such children are of short and wretched life. But if chose, such disobedient children do chance to live long, so far is long life from being unto them a blessing, that on the contrary, it is an enforcement and increase of woe, because they enlarge their just condemnation: so as they had been better to have died in their youth. But howsoever it be, God so disposeth thereof, that by the effects we may perceive, that they which honour their parents are blessed, and the others are accursed, Eccles. 3. 2. etc. And although some parents do not perform those duties towards their children enjoined them from the Lord; yet such children as live wickedly, must know, that they are not exempt and free from blame, and guiltiness before God. For although they can say (as the children in Ezekiel's time said,) The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children's teeth are set on edge; we say, that although the occasion be offered of such ungodly and wicked parents, yet the cause of destruction is still in the children themselves. And besides that, it is sure, that the soul that hath sinned shall die the death. Seeing there be some young men and maids, who notwithstanding the great profaneness of the most, the manifold corruptions offered abroad, the ungodly examples abounding at home, are so mightily preserved by the seed of grace, that they escape safely in an holy course of life, lamenting when they see the least occasion of evil, rejoicing at the least occasion of good things: the rest, who please themselves, and hope to shelter their sins under their parents defaults, are plainly left without excuse, and are iuftly guilty of the blood of their own souls. Labour therefore ye young men and maidens, to wipe away the tears of grief from your father's eyes, and stay the mournful and sorrowful spirits of your tender mothers; and consider in yourselves, if ye have any nature in you, and have not buried the use of common reason, what a shame it is to be a shame unto your fathers, to whom ye ought to be a glory: think, ye wanton wits, that have not cast off all natural affections, what a contempt it is, to be a contempt unto your mothers, to whom you have offered, as it were a despiteful violence, in that ye are a corrasive to their grief, when as ye should have been a crown to their comforts. Learn therefore ye children, that it is one special property of a liberal and ingenious nature, to be careful to live, that in time ye may be a glory to your fathers, and a joy to your mothers: which the Lord for his Christ's sake grant. These precepts and admonitions before said, are as a summary of the duties of children to their parents. And therefore it resteth, that they understanding them, do pray unto God to give them grace to put them in practice to his glory, and their good and salvation. Lastly, let them remember, that God is not more inclined to hear any prayers, than such as parents the power forth for their children. As they are therefore to fear their curse, for offending them: so must they by honouring and pleasing them, seek to be blessed in their prayers, which are blessings ratified unto them in heaven, as the blessing of Isaac to his son jacob doth manifestly declare. Gen. 27. 28. 29. What duties Masters and Mistresses owe to their servants. THis duty teacheth them, that The householder is called Pater Familias, that is, a father of a family, because he should have a fatherly care over his servants, as if they were his children. they are become in stead of parents unto their servants, which duty consisteth in four points. 1. First, that they refrain and keep their servants from idleness. 2. Secondly, that by diligent instruction and good example, they bring up their servants and households, in honesty and comely manners, and in all virtue. 3. Thirdly, that they ought to instruct their apprentices and servants in the knowledge of their occupations and trades, even as parents would teach their own children, without all guile, fraud, delaying, or concealing. 4. Lastly, when correction is necessary, that Masters and Dames ought moderately to use their authority over theirseruants. then they give it them with such discretion, pity, and desire of their amendment, as loving parents use to deal with their dear children; remembering always that they have a master in heaven, before whom they must make an account for their doings. These four points are in effect poken of before in the duty of parents. For so much as masters and householders are to their servants and apprentices in place of fathers, they are hereby admonished, that they james 5. 4. Coloss 4. 1. joh 13 13. 14. 15. ought not to withhold and keep 〈◊〉 their due wages, to exact of them, to oppress them, or to reward their well-doing and good deserving Deut. 24 14. 15 Mat. 8 5. 6. 〈◊〉 7. 2. slenderly: but to be careful of their servants good estate as of their own, not only in providing for them wholesome meat, drink, and God made euery week one day of rest, wherein servants should be as free as their masters. Gen. 2. 2. lodging, and otherwise to help them, comfort them, and relieve and cherish them, as well in 〈◊〉 as in health liberally to reward their good deservings, as far as Christianity, liberality, and equality shall bind them: but also that they be careful that they live honestly, virtuously, and Christianly. And further, they may not grieve their servants with too much labour, but always remember As the labourer which worketh but one day is worthy his hire, even so, much more the 〈◊〉 that 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 everyday. that they are not beasts, but men: so that they ought quietly to govern them, and also quietly to chide them, when they shall neglect their duty, lest they be provoked with their hard words: remembering that they also have a Lord and master in heaven, with whom there is no respect of persons, Ephes. 6. 9 And let them bountifully reward the just and faithful labour Luke 10. 7. of their servants, and pay their covenants in a fit and convenient time, lest being compelled by necessity they should steal. Master's ought not (as tyrants) to use their servants as their horses and asses: but to deal As David did limit joab that he should not kill Absalon, so God hath bound masters that they should not oppress their servants. with them lovingly & Christianly, because they are all members of one body, whereof Christ jesus is the head. There be some masters that use their servants and apprentices more like beasts then like men and their own members; for which their so doing, let them assure themselves they must yield to God their master a strait account. 2. Sam. 18. 5. job 31. 13. 14. 15. Oh that Christian Masters and Mistresses would learn, and so practise the example of For a good man (sauh Salemon. Pro. 12. 10.) will be merciful to his beast & therefore he ought to be m remerciful to his servants being his brethren. jobs good and upright dealing with his servants, which was far from rigour. For he saith, If I did contemn the judgement of my servant, and of my maid, when they did contend with me, (that is, when they thought themselves evil entreated by me,) what then shall I do, when God standeth up? If I had oppressed others, how should I have escaped God's judgement?) And when he shall visit me, what shall I answer? He that hath made me in the womb, hath he not made him? (which moved him to show pity and favour upto his servants, because they were God's creatures as he was:) Hath not he alone fashioned us in the womb? Hereby then may those masters and dames see their wickedness, who will not hear their servants speak, but upon a simple surmise and brain-sicknesse, do evil entreat them by cruel stripes, when in truth there is no just cause. Masters and Mistresses ought therefore to use Reviling words and unreasonable 〈◊〉, doth much more hurt to servants then good. their servants and apprentices, with mildness & equity, as every one shall deserve; for they must remember that they have all one God to honour and worship, one Prince to serve, one law to keep, one land to inhabit, and one death to fear: and therefore they must speak unto them as unto brethren and sisters, & deal with them 〈◊〉. 16. 17. as with Christians. And let them always remember this, namely, that God will never deal mercifully with them, if they make no greater account that their servants do serve him more carefully than themselves, and sanctify the Sabbaths. Exod. 20. 10. 〈◊〉, 5. 14. And therefore that master is not worthy to be served, which cannot afford that his servants should serve God as well as himself. He must give unto God that which is Gods, and then he may the better take that which is his own: for he that careth not for his family (saith Paul) is 1. Tim. 5. 8. worse than an infidel: because infidels care for their families. As it is the office of a good householder to carry the burden of care, travel, and labour: so it is the duty of a wife, to be faithful in keeping and well ordering of his goods and house, & to see his, her own, and their children's best apparel brushed, and handsomely 〈◊〉, to be patient and careful to see her husband do well, and both their duties is, effectually to give good examples, to be diligent to entertain peace amongst their family, and to see all things neat and handsome, and to keep due order and measure. For as the Sun in the firmament giveth light Servants do rather imitate the works they see their masters do, than the words which they hear them speak. to all the regions round about him, and by his bright appearing expelleth the darkness, comforteth and cheereth the world: even so like wise should householders labour to banish sin and corrupt religion out of their dwellings, and to be a lantern of godly life, to comfort and shine to their whole family, that so they may direct their lives after their good examples, Phil. 2. 15. Math. 5. 19 A master ought so to behave himself with his servants, that he be not too familiar with them, which many times breedeth contempt, but he is to admonish them often, and yet he must not discourage them from well doing, nor be too severe, not too partial, but must moderate all by discretion. For like as the Centution, who had many servants Luke 7. 8. under his authority, had them all at his beck and commandment, most ready to obey him in any thing that he set them about, and this good order and submission he had brought them unto, by the reason that his said servants were dear unto him: that is, he made special reckoning of them, and was as a father unto them: so likewise all masters are in conscience bound to esteem and account well of their servants, and to use their authority that they have over them, mildly and Christianly; and than if their servants do perceive that they are dear unto their masters, so may the masters in time work them like wax unto their own mind: except they be such as have sold themselves to Ephes. 6. 9 work wickedness. It is very convenient that a master of a family should so dispose and order his affairs and business, that he depart and absent himself from home as little as may be: for it is an old saying and a true: The eye of the master doth make the horse fat, and the ground fertile: for all things are well and fitly done when the master is present. Such housekeepers as have much, and yet spend little, are called niggards: and they that have little, & yet spend much are holden 〈◊〉, spend thrifts, and prodigal wasters: and therefore they ought to live in such sort, that they be not noted either misers for their keeping, or prodigal for their spending. The covetous miserable niggard passeth great toil and travel in gathering of riches, danger in keeping them, law in defending them, and torment in departing from them: but a wise man is not careful so much for riches, and how to live long, as to live well, and dye well. Some householders are so 〈◊〉 and sparing, both towards themselves and their neighbours, that although they have much wealth, yet they cannot find in their hearts to take part in any frugal and good measure of those transitory blessings which God in mercy hath given them: but feed grossly and very niggardly, and clothe themselves very meanly, keeping a beggarly house; so that (as the common Proverb is,) a man may as soon break his neck as his fast with them. So that the state of such a worldling The covetous wan in gaining riches, loseth himself. and covetous rich man is most miserable; upon whom God hath bountifully bestowed great wealth, and yet he hath not the grace to 〈◊〉 his riches well, either to his own comfort, or the good of his neighbour; but heapeth up riches (as the Psalmist saith) and cannot tell who Psal. 39 6. shall gather them. This showeth, that it is the plague of God that befalleth upon such a miserable covetous worldling, when he hath plenty of all things, and yet wanteth a liberal heart, to employ and use them rightly. And therefore the holy Ghost, in the book of the Preacher, is not content once or twice to find fault, and to check this as a great vanity and abuse; but to speak of it five sundry times. In one place he saith: There is an evil (which I saw under the Sun,) and it is much among men: A man to whom God hath given riches, and treasure, and honour, and he wanteth nothing for his soul, of all that it desireth: but God giveth him no power to eat thereof: but a strange man shall eat it up: This is vanity, and this is an evil sickness. Eccles. 2. 24. and. 3. 12. 13. 22. and 5. 17. and 6. 1. 2. and 8. 15. Such masters and mistresses as would have their necessary affairs and businesses dispatched That which thou canst do conveniently thyself, commit it not to another. well, (and in due time) may not always trust to the doing thereof by their servants: but they must either see it done, or rather dispatch it themselves, if it be such a thing and business as they can and may well do. For such a lowliness is always joined with the fear of God, that they that are humbled with religion, (though honourable and worshipful in calling) do not think themselves too good to do any good thing. This undoubtedly is a thing greatly to be wished for: namely, that all Christians, masters, Master's ought to make good choice of their servants. and householders, when they go about to hire any servants, would be no less careful and inquisitive of their honesty, godly conversation, and how they have profited in the knowledge of God his religion, than they be to inquire and know what they can do, and what skill and cunning they have in that Art or Science which they profess, or else, what qualities they have: and so doing, no doubt they being careful to hire religious and godly servants to do their work and businesses, that which such servants shall take in hand, the Lord will much better prosper, & give good success unto, then otherwise if they shall hire and entertain irreligious and prophave servants: as may plainly appear by the examples of jacob and joseph, two Gen. 30 26. 27. etc. and 29. 2. 3. 4. 5 6. 23. 23. Esay. 6. 6. religious and faithful servants, whose masters and their substance were blessed, increased, and multiplied for their sakes. As householders' ought to have care over It is a rare thing for a master to bring his servant to be godly, who is not godly himself. the bodies of their servants: so much more over their souls. One compareth the master of the house to the Seraphin, which came and kindled the Prophet's zeal; so he should go from wife to servants, and from servants to children, & kindle them in zeal of God, longing to teach and utter knowledge, as a nurse to empty her breasts. It is lamentable to think, how careless all masters (for the most part) are on this behalf: not only such as are profane and ignorant themselves, but also some that would be counted great professors, and would seem to have great knowledge; yea, (and with grief may it be spoken) some Preachers also, who having had servants dwelling with them, 3. or 4. years, or more, as they were ignorant in the grounds and principles of Christian religion when they came first into their service, so they went from them as ignorant therein as they came, and all for want of catechising: being a principal duty, which not only Ministers, but also all Christian masters in conscience are bound to perform to their families. But of this matter I have sufficiently entreated in my last Edition, of the use and necessity of catechising: and therefore I will of purpose here omit to speak of it. Another saith, that a master in his family hath all the offices of Christ; for he must rule, and teach, and pray: rule like a king, and teach like a Prophet, and pray like a Priest. To show how a godly man Reuel. 5. 10. should behave himself in his household, when the holy Ghost speaketh of the conversion of Act. 16. 31. 32 & 18. 8. 1. Cor. 1. 16. any housekeeper, commonly he saith: That the man believed and all his household. As Peter, being converted, must convert his brethren; so the master being a protestant and a good Christian, must endeavour by all good means, that his servants may be such. For therefore God said, that he would not hide his counsel from Abraham, because he would teach his family. And surely all duty of Ge 18. 17. 18. servants which is not done of conscience, is but eye service, and faileth at most need; as Ziba betrayed his master when he should have defended him. Therefore before Onesimus was converted, Phil. 11. 16. Paul said, he was an unprofitable servant, but when he was converted, he called him more than a servant: because such a servant is better than many servants. Though Laban was wicked himself, yet he rejoiced that Gen. 29. jacob his servant was godly, because God blessed him the better for him. joshuah saith, I and josua. 24. 15. my household will serve the Lord: Showing that masters should receive none into their houses, but whom they can govern as joshua did: and if any such have crept into their doors, they must put him forth again: for David saith, I will not Psal. 101. 7. suffer a liar to stay within my house. He saith, not a swearer, nor a thief; but a liar: as if he should say, I will rid him out of doors before he be a swearer and a thief; for a liar will grow to a swearer and a thief, as a dicer groweth to a beggar in a night. Therefore it is noted of Cornelius, Act. 10. 2. that he himself feared God with all his household. These examples be written for householders', as others are for Magistrates and Ministers They must keep no idle profane, superstitious, nor disordered 〈◊〉 in their house. and soldiers; that no calling might seek further than the Scriptures for instruction. Wherefore as you are masters now, and they your servants, instruct them, and teach them, as if you would show what masters your servants should be hereafter. Next unto servant's labours and instruction, must be considered their corrections. As Paul saith, Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: so we may say, Masters, and mistresses, provoke Ephcs. 6. 4. not your servants to wrath: that is, use such reproofs, and such corrections, that you do not provoke them, but move them; that you do not exasperate them, but win them; for reviling and reproachful words, and immoderate fierceness, doth much more hurt then good. And therefore the Law of God did charge the Magistrate that he should not cause above forty stripes to be inflicted upon any offender, lest he should seem despised in his eyes: much less than may a master exceed that number to his servant. For while a child, or scholar, or servant, doth think that he is reproved for love, or beaten with reason, it makes him think of his fault, and is ashamed: but when he seeth that he is rebuked with curses, and beaten with staffs, as though he were hated like a dog, his heart is hardened against the man that correcteth him, and the fault for the which he is corrected; and after he becometh desperate like an horse, which turneth upon the striker: and therefore let masters know, that God even then chides them, whensoever they fight or chide in such rage. For though there be a fault, yet something must be dissembled and winked at, and some things must be forgiven, and some punished with a look: for he which takes the forfeit of every offence, shall never be in any rest, but vex himself more them his servant. But above all, we think that the charity and tender affection of masters, and love of servants Master's ought to have a tender care of their servants in their sickness. to their fellows in their sickness, is especially to be used and showed: at which time, the sick are to be severally lodged from the whole, and to be cherished and nourished with more choice and dainty meat. For the performance and care of this duty, the Centurion is commended in the Gospel, which duty very unchristianly is neglected of Mat. 8. 5. 6. Luk. 7. 1. many masters. The master of the house, should not disdain, or show himself so scornful or unkind as not to visit his sick servants. For if bruit beasts rejoice to see their masters cherish and feed them, as we may daily see in dogs, etc. how much more may we believe that men and reasonable creatures, are much delighted and comforted therewith? Whereupon it comes to pass, that good and faithful servants, liking and affecting their masters, understand them at a beck, and obey them at a wink of the eye, or bend of the brow, not as a water-spaniel, but as the hand is stirred to obey the mind, so prompt and ready is the dutiful servant to obey his loving and kind master. For as the hand is said to be the instrument of instruments: being it (indeed) that serves to feed, apparel, and keep clean the rest of the limbs and parts of the body, which are also called instruments: so is the servant said to be an instrument of instruments, because he keepeth all the instruments of household occupied: not only to live, but to live well; wherein he differeth from all other instruments. For where they are things without soul, he is divinely enriched with a soul: and herein he differeth from the hand, for that the hand is fastened and united to the body, but he is separate and disjoined from his master: and he is also different from Artificers: for Artificers are instruments of those things which properly they call workmanship: but the servant is an instrument of the action, which also is distinguished from workmanship. So that the servant if you will rightly understand him, is, alively and several instrument of action. It is very meet and convenient, that the mistress or dame, do not make herself too familiar with her servants, or houshold-folkes, The wife's behaviour with servants. lest they should be too bold, to talk, to jest, or unreverently and unmannerly to behave themselves towards her: and so modestly and wisely to bear herself among her servants, that they may fear, reverence, and so stand in awe of her, as the mistress and mother of the house. And as it is not comely or beseeming, that the wife should take upon her to rule and correct the manservants; so likewise, it is not comely The master must correct his servants, and the mistress her maids or meet, that the husband should meddle with the punishing or chastising of the maidservants: so that it is most meet and acceptable to the offender, that the master should correct the men, and the mistress her maids: for a man's nature scorneth and disdaineth to be beaten of a woman, and a maid's nature is corrupted with the stripes of a man. Therefore we read, that Abraham would not meddle with his maid, but committed her to his wife, and said: Do with her as it pleaseth thee. As if he should say, It belongeth not to me, but to thee. Andthese are the duties which masters must perform in their life time. All which must be shut up with setting order for all things at their death, with especial exhortations and prayers for religion, for uprightness in their callings, for peace and order after them, according to the example of Hezekiah, David, of jacob, and of joseph: Esay 38. 1. and Gen. 47. 29. 30. and 40. 29. So that it is the duty of Christian masters to have a care, not only that their families be well and Christianly governed while they live: but also that after their death, love, peace, quietness, and good order may be continued in their posterity. The Servant's duty towards their Masters. THis duty consisteth in three points: 1. First, that servants and apprentices do from their hearts, cheerfully, and willingly, perform the labours and works that their masters, mistresses, or dames, shall command them. 2. Secondly, that they be faithful in things committed to them by their masters, mistresses or dames, that so they may keep their goods. 3. Thirdly, that they be careful to observe uprightness of manners, that the wife, sons and daughters, or other fellow servants, be not corrupted by their bad counsels, or lewd behaviour. These points are plainly proved by these places of Scripture quoted in the margin: Eph 6.5.6.7.8 Col. 3.22.23.24 Tit. 2.9.10. 1 Pet. 2.18.19.20.21. whereby servants are straightly charged, reverently, and faithfully to obey their bodily masters, mistresses, and dames, in all things which may be done without offence to God. And this obedience and service must be done with fear 1. Tim. 6. 1. 2. Luk. 17. 7. 8. 9 and trembling, in singleness of heart, as unto Christ, they being 〈◊〉 with a reverence to Godward, as though they served God himself, and that as well in the absence of their masters, mistresses or dames, as in their presence: not constrainedly, as it were forced or compelled thereto, but heartily and with good will, as they that serve the Lord, and not men: not only in respect of the earthly reward, but because they know, and are assured, that of the Lord they shall receive the reward of inheritance, in as much as they serve the Lord Christ. So that hereby all godly servants, may in few words learn what duty they owe to their masters, mistresses, and dames: namely, to love them, and to be affectioned towards them, as a dutiful child is to his 〈◊〉: to be reverend 1. King. 5. 13. The property of a good servant. and lowly to them in their words and gestures, to suffer and forbear them: to obey with ready and willing minds all their lawful and reasonable commandments: to fear them, and to be loath to displease them: to be faithful and trusty to them and theirs: in deeds and promises, to be diligent and serviceable: to speak cheerfully: to answer discreetly: not over boldly to dally with their master's wife, daughters, or maidens: to be loyal and dutiful to their masters, mistresses and dames: as jacob was towards Laban, and joseph towards Gen. 29. 18. 19 20. & 39 5. etc. Potiphar. And they must carefully endeavour to do and procure, to the uttermost of their ability, that which may be to their masters, mistresses, and dames honesty, credit and profit, and that as well when they are absent and out of sight, as when they be present and look on. This is a quality and property belonging to every good servant, both men and maids: to wit, that whatsoever goods or necessaries of their masters, mistresses, or dames, they shall have charge of, as committed to their trust and keeping; they carefully see such things so well and orderly placed, and laid up, that if there shall be at any time any just occasion to use any necessary in their custody: yea, if it be in the night season, and that without a light, they than not only can say, in such a place it lieth, but also, if they be required, they can presently fetch the same. Servant's must take heed that they do not 〈◊〉 and willingly anger or displease their masters, mistresses, or dames, which if they do, than they ought incontinent and forthwith to reconcile themselves unto them, and to ask them forgiveness. They must also forbear them, and suffer their angry and hasty words, and in no wise answer again spitefully or scornfully, neither yet upon any such occasion run away For the Angel taught and willed Hagar the servant of Sarah, when she fled from Gen. 16. 7. 8. 〈◊〉. her mistress, that she should return and humble herself under the hands of her mistress. So did Saint Paul make agreement betwixt Onesimus a vagabond and thievish servant, and sent him again to his master Philemon, from whom Phil. 10. etc. he was fled away: and it is probable that he admonished Onesimus to submit himself to his master. Servants & apprentices therefore according to the rule of God's word, must patiently bear, and forbear their masters, mistresses, and dames, & do whatsoever lawful thing they shall command them, not being against a good conscience. And therefore they must remember, how How far forth servants ought to obey their masters. far forth they are bound to obey their masters, that is, Vsque ad arras: so far as Christian religion suffereth, and so far forth as they may do it with an upright conscience: for otherwise, if their masters shall command them to do any thing that is unhonest, unlawful, wicked, unjust, or ungodly, than they must in no wise obey it, 1. Sam. 20. 28. etc. and 22. 17. Dan. 3. 18. Act. 4. 19 and 5. 29. The conditions of a good maid-servant, are, that she be careful, faithful, patient, neat, and pleasing, that she be 〈◊〉, quick, and handsome, and of few words, honest in her word, deed, and attire: diligent in an household, and have skill in washing, 〈◊〉, brewing, sowing, and spinning, but chiefly in holding her peace. Servant's must lay apart all evil conditions, as pride, unfaithfulness, brawling, murmuring, lying, swearing, and filthy communication, picking, stealing, and tales telling. If servants would carefully mark and learn, Mat. 8 9 and so diligently practise these three short lessons following: so doing (no doubt) they might both procure and purchase much quietness to themselves, and also win and get the great good will and liking of their masters, mistresses, and dames thereby: First, that they would cheerfully go when they are bidden. Secondly, that they would come willingly and readily when they be called. And lastly, that they would remember to shut and sparre the doors after them. The neglect and omitting of this last duty, may haply be thought no great matter: but if such as be housekeepers will carefully observe it, they shall find, that they sustain both less and hindrance by it. And because it sometime happeneth, that one And among servants, to help and ease of one another necessary. servant is too much charged with labour and work, and another of his fellows hath more ease than work, one therefore should help another, as we see by use in our own bodies, when one leg is weary, we can rest it on the other, or when the right hand is overlaboured, we can ease it with the left: and when intercourse of love and courtesy entreats and persuades not this favour and kindness amongst them, than should the master himself command the negligent and loitering servant, to help and ease the weary, and him that is well employed and overcharged. Again, servants are to be admonished and Servant's must to the uttermost of their power, seek the commodity & benefit of their masters. put in mind, that they do not (as some do without all conscience) make spoil and havoc of their master's goods, wittingly, and willingly: neither yet that they suffer any of those things that they are put in trust with, through their heedlessness and reckless, to be marred and lost: but specially that they do not make spoil and waste of such broken meat as remaineth after their meals or at other times: which doing, is not only an hindrance to their master's profit, but also a great offence to God, who commandeth that such broken meat as remaineth, be gathered up and saved, that so nothing be lost. loh. 6. 12. Therefore to conclude, let servants & apprentices, both men and maids, assure themselves, that as they deal and behave themselues to their masters, mistresses or dames, and their goods, whilst they are servants, so likewise the Lord in justice will cause their servants to deal and behave themselves to them when they shall come to be masters or dames themselves, so punishing sin with sin. And as religious and godly masters be very Mat. 7. 2. wary and circumspect, when they hire and entertain any servants into their service, that they be such as be godly, honest and religious, or at least such as will be tractable and obedient to such good order and godly government, as is, or shall be used & exercised daily in their houses, but chose, such masters as be profane and irreligious, have no care or regard whom they hire or receive into their houses, so they will fit & serve their turn for gain and profit, though they be never so jewd, vicious, or ungodly in word or deed: so likewise, such as are Christian and religious servants, ought also to be very wary and careful, that they do not place themselves with any such masters as are profane and wicked, or in such towns and parishes where there wants good means, and exercises both of preaching and catechising, whereby they may daily profit and go forward in that good course which they have begun: whereas on the other side, such servants as are without God, irreligious and ignorant of the means of their salvation, care not where, or with whom they dwell: nay, they will not with their good wills, come to dwell either in that town, or with those masters, where they shall be restrained and kept from swearing, dicing, carding, tabling, profaning of the Lords day, and other such wickedness: who in thus doing, do fly from God, and seek and follow after their own destruction. FINIS.