THE COURT of Civil Courtesy: Fitly furnished with a pleasant port of stately phrases and pithy precepts: assembled in the behalf of all young Gentlemen, and others, that are desirous to frame their behaviour according to their estates, at all times, and in all companies▪ Thereby to purchase worthy praise, of their inferiors: and estimation and credit among their betters. Out 〈…〉 Italian, by ●. R. Gent. ¶ Imprinted at London, by Richard Jhones. Primo january, 1577. To the nourishing Youths, and Courteous young Gentlemen of England, and to all others that are desirous, and lovers of Civil Courteste: R. I the Printer hereof, wisheth an happy New year present, and many: to the pleasure of God, and their own hearts desire. MOst Courteous young Gentlemen, presuming upon your great Courtesy: I have been so bold as to present your estate, in token and wish of an happy new year, with these the first fruits of my poor Press, finished since the coming in of the same. Surely, the travail of a Gentleman whom I know not, not not so much as by name, much less by person: And concerning the copy, as he that brought it unto me made report, that it was translated out of the Italian, by a Gentleman, a freeinde of his, desiring me that it might be printed. And I being always desirous to farther the study, and procure the delight of all men, by publishing books of semblable argument: thought good to dedicated the same unto you, judging it in this respect a present more meet for your most flourishing degree: for that I perceive it to have been first written by a Noble and grave parsonage of Italy, and directed unto his nephew, a young Gentleman also of noble parentage, for the better conforming of his behaviour at his entrance into the Court, as it may appear by his Epistle hereafter following. Now for that this case is common unto most of you, and above all other, the study of civil Courtesy, most incident unto your calling, I am the bolder to crave your Courteous countenance, and friendly favour in accepting the same now in English at my hands, as a testimony of my serviceable heart, and good meaning towards you. And that receiving it now from me as your own, you would vouch safe of your great courtesy to take both me and it into your assured protection: and to defend both the present, and him that offereth it, from the spiteful tongues of malicious carpers. And in so doing, you shall evermore bind me to employ what travail and service I can, to the advancing and pleasuring of your most excellent degree. Farewell in the Lord. The Censure of a friend, concerning this work. Our Parents well deserve the prick of price, Who give us life which we had not before. The teacher's care deserves great thank likewise, Who trains the child, and gives the learned lore: Immortal praise we aught give him therefore. Some strife hath been in respect of these things, Who best deserves of these two Noble springs. ¶ Though one give life, the other learning lends. Let reason rule, let wit this matter scan. And things are judged according to their ends, And Proverb old says manners makes the man. The vital spirit must yield to learning than. Wherefore you youths, sprung up from gentle line, Unto this Court your courteous ears incline. ¶ This Court, the which of Courtesy takes name, Declares what port each gentle shall ensue. At all assays how he himself shall frame, To follow what, and what for to eschew. Thrice happy he whom God shall so endue. A thing of weight, and won for simple price, Reject by fools, but purchased by the wise. 〈…〉 〈…〉 Benga●a●a de● Mont. Prisacchi Retta, unto Seig. Princisca Ganzar Moretta. For his behaviour. uz. To my Nephew Seig. Princisca Ganzar Moretta. AT my last being at Prisacchi, understanding by your father's talk, that he minded to have you a while in the Court, where he hath spent the better part of his life: and because it is frequented with all sorts of companies, as any place in Italy is. I have directed this little book, which if you read and mark diligently, shall be as it were a guide, to lead you from a number of snares which you may be trapped withal, also for your behaviour in all companies: with many other things fit to be known of young Gentlemen, and especially for such as have not been conversant in all companies. Far ye well. ¶ The Contents of this Book. HOw a young Gentleman may behave himself in all companies: and be prepared for ordinary entertaynmentes, and to get a good opinion and credit among his betters. Chap. 1. ¶ How a man shall be have himself in bad company, and among such roisters as will offer familiarity with him, will he or no: and first a guess of such means as they will use thereto. Chap. 2. ¶ How a man shall answer to the praise and thanks, & courtesies seriously offered by his betters or equals. 3. ¶ How a man shall acquit himself towards noble people, that shall either for his fréeindes' sake, or his own, offer him courtesies: or assure him of friendship, willing him in all chances to be bold with him. Chap. 4. ¶ How when the foresaid speeches be offered by a Noble person pleasantly, that is of acquaintance: which must be also pleasantly answered. Chap. 5. ¶ How to an equal, or but little better▪ being a friend and familiar. Chap. 6. ¶ How a man shall take thanks of a noble person. ca 7. ¶ How a man may give thanks to his betters and equals. Chap. 8. ¶ What manners be requisite at the Table, and what to be shunned: what is to be considered in the washing before Dinner, and in the sitting down, is set forth in the beginning of this Direction. Cham 9 ¶ How a man shall pacify his friend, his better, or his equal: if he have given him unwillingly any cause of offence. Chap. 10. ¶ How a man shall shifted off reproaches or taunts offered between sport and earnest: by envious and scornful people that will seem to do it so cunningly as the other shall have the taunt, and yet at his own pleasure will deny if. Chap. 11. FINIS. ¶ THE COURT OF CIVIL COURTESY. How a young Gentleman may behave himself in all companies, and be prepared for ordinary entertainments, and to get a good opinion and credit among his betters. Chap. first. FIrst he hath to consider, that the lack of good behaviour, which is a comely audacity, with out a saucy presumption (which argueth discreet judgement and wisdom) maketh his inferior to be his equal, and maketh his equal his better, till himself hath attained not only the habit of being the like, but the time to make himself know to be the like. Therefore if he shall light in the company of any, whose living and birth is worse than his own, and yet perceiveth the other for his wisdom and gravity to be well esteemed of by others, it becometh the young Gentleman to give him the place (or at lest with instance to offer it him) but yet with such a modest audacity, mingled with a smiling grace, and courteous speech, neither too loud nor whispering, as the rest of the company may well perceive: it is the virtues, and not the man that is preferred, and that it is offered rather of a courteous disposition, then of a sheepish simplicity, which willbe the better understanded if he shall utter some familiar speech in yielding the place at the door, as thus: I pray you go, for I love to follow the steps of mine elders. Or thus: You must needs go, for I cannot a way to go foremost. Or thus: On, on I pray you, you be the next the door. Or thus: If you go not we shall strive all day, for I will not. Or thus: You make too much ado for so small a matter: And at the placing at the table, as thus: Will you sit sir, and I willbe next you? Or thus: Not I by your leave. Or thus: Such a one will needs have you by him. Or thus: You shall not rule me till you come to your own house. Or thus: The place is fitter for you then for me. Or thus: Go too, shall we strive all day like women? And if it be one that be of great estimation, either for office, or ancienty, and will yet of too much curiosity refuse the place, than it shallbe best to sit down first, but to take a lower place either on the other side, or on the same side. But here (by the way) it is to be considered that this courtesy is not so precisely to be used, either at common tables, where each man payeth equally for his meal, nor yet at ordinary tables in the court: for in either of these two places, except diversity of degree make difference, men use not this curiosity: then this aforesaid at the table, is when men meet in their equals or inferiors houses, in which it is to be considered that the owners of the tables must bear the sway of placing, if he be the better or equal. Howbeit, if the owner shall call or place one (either not knowing who aught or not caring who do) that is inferior every way, saving for wealth, in such a case, the young Gentleman shall do well not to tarry till other be set, not abiding the placing of the owner: but taking his next companion to set himself down first, rather two or three lower, than he should be the next to his inferior: whereby the owner shallbe (in silence) taught to consider better an other time. And he must not suffer himself to be removed any higher, that he may keep the owner still in doubt whether he so placid himself of mislike or of good fellowship. But if there be much ado made, and that he find the owner to find his own error: than it willbe courtesy to colour the fact with good words pleasantly, As thus: Why? think you that I can eat no meat but at the upper end of the board. Or thus: I pray you hinder not my good hap, I am where I like. Or thus: I pray you give me leave to sit where I like. Or thus: I pray you trouble not yourself, you shall see us as merry here as you be there. Or thus: As long as I find good meat I never use to study for my place. Or thus: I warrant you if I had not liked this place, I would have been so bold as choose an other. But if it happen the owner of the house, be so gross and careless, that he either do not or will not find any mislike of the matter: then would I wish▪ in such a case, the young Gentleman should be furnished with some guirdinge speeches, or else some pleasant scoffs, to countenance out the matter, with those that sit by him, that the rest may see he choase the place in scorn of the other, as thus: I am happily placed here, for if I had mounred any higher, I had been clean out of countenance. Or thus: We willbe as merry here, as though we sat at the upper end of the board: or to some companion, that sits next above by the young Gentleman's placing, thus: If you behave not yourselves gently, and be good to us of the second mess, we will keep you from mounting the next time. Or thus: Beware friends, pride will have a fale: speak not so loud your betters be in place. And to conclude, to make as much mirth and pastime as may be all the meal. But if a man be in a nobleman's house, or a knight of great reputation, than he must be contented for that time, as pleaseth them. But he may the next time, take as good a place as he can with modesty get, and when he is from the board, not lose any place that reason or courage can advance him to. For as no man is disgraced by giving (of his courtesy) place to whom he list, so to have it taken from him by others being his right, is an abasement not to be suffered, it a man can take it either by slight or courage. Now that this young Gentleman, may know in what sort he may accompany himself with all sorts, and to all estates: he shall know, that the elder son of a knight while his father liveth, may count himself equal with a Gentleman of. cc. li. land rend of assize (for so the statute limiteth) and may offer himself a companion with the best squire, if his wit with a modest audacity will serve him there to, but not without some reverent respects in his speech: specially if the said squire be of gravity, and so of reputation, either for his wisdom or office, as if he will ask a question, thus: I pray you sir, what? where? or why is such a thing? Or thus: Will it please you to do, or have such a thing: and in his affirmation and negation to answer as thus: Ye sir, no sir. And if the other ask him any question, as whether he will do this, or that. Then thus: Marry sir I will tell you. Or thus: With a good will, if it please you, etc. As the matter shall fall out. Howbeit these speeches, if it be to no better than to the best squire, or an ordinary knight be to be used, with such a familiar kind of pronunciation, as it may appear to be uttered by him of his courtesy: meaning rather to give them more than he greatly needed, then of any great difference he thinks to be between them: specially if they be such, as he is not like any way, either to be in danger of their hurt, or in need of their help. And though these kind of reverent speeches need not to be so curiously used, by the inferior, to one much his better, when they be once very familiar: yet they become the speaker so well, as if they be used with a good audacity and familiar countenance, a man may use them to his inferior, without any abasement or disgrace at all to himself, and specially to Ladies and gentle women of credit. Then he hath to consider that among young Gentlemen, or young Noblemen, there needs no great curiosity, but before a Baron, and so upward, he may not be covered while he standeth in his view, except the nobleman bid him: unless that Nobleman use such an ordinary kind of good fellowship with all men (as he seethe) as mean as himself use him with small courtesy: and yet he must way withal whither that good-fellowship be withal men indifferently, or only to such as be his familliers: for such as be noble may make their companions whom they list, and the rest though they shallbe better to such companions, not to use ever the less honour to him. And let this stand for a general rule, that whatsoever familiarity a noble man shall show to any his inferior, yea though he profess to make him his equal friend: let the inferior still beware of using himself rudely, sawcely or carelessly, especially in the presence of others. For though many to assure their inferior of their goodwill, seem to banish all curiosity: yet such an one shallbe best esteemed, and longest hold friendship with his better, that in all their greatest familiarity can make it appear to others that he doth not forget, that he playeth or jesteth with his superior. Which a man may very well do and yet hold company in all manner of sports, jests, and pastimes: then much more he that is a stranger must have the more regard. And as it is good manner for a man in his own house, or his friends, if he be the best in the company, to offer entertainment to any nobleman: so in a strange place in the house of his better, though there be no better than himself in the place, he may not presume to begin entertainment: but it is his part to be ready, and next the Nobleman in sight, against it pleaseth him to use him, till he seethe him accompanied with some others, or call some other to him: and if it be but open talk devised to pass away the time, then to help lengthen the same at his discretion: otherwise to find some talk with others, and rather to stand or sit, with a steady and assured countenance, as though he were studying some matter of weight, or hearkening to others talk if it be not secret: then to accompany himself with such as be unworthy of his company: and such count I serving men, and foolish doltish people though they be his betters, But when a man shall sit still and say nothing, he must be sure to have an assured countenance, not gnawing any thing in his mouth, or playing with his legs, toes or fingers, and to have always an ear and an eye about him, to here what is said, and to be ready if any part of an others talk, either by word or look be addressed to him, that he may receive the occasion, and win in the talk: and though no such cause be offered, yet it is a better grace to hearken other folks communication, then to be talking with a person of vain credit: and if a man shall get him out of the way for lack of countenance, when noble people or others of reputation be in place: then will his inferior lie in a wait for occasion, and step in, to be of familiarity before him. Furthermore, if talk be offered to this young Gentleman by his better, he hath to consider whether the same proceed of a desire to pass away the time, and for want of other company: or else (as some do) because they willbe thought courteous, they will say some thing to every body, but for fear of too much familiarity, will not stay long with their inferior. To this last it shallbe good only to answer to the question, adding some reason to verify the same, but not to enter any new matter, nor to dilate any further in the old, than he shall perceive him by his countenance and attentiveness to hear without provocation. But if the inferior perceive, that the talk is ministered upon the first respect, that is to make entertainment: he must not only answer all his demands, but enlarge the same to the uttermost: And when he seethe his better pause, so that he turn not awaywarde (as though he would begun from him) to invent some matter of himself, to lengthen talk: And that he may the better do so, he must before hand have inquired (of such as come in In any wise let a man shun as much a● he can in his entertainments to speak of himself as to tell, what he hath said or what he hath done: for that will be taken to come of a desire to tell his own praise, except it be either to his very friend or else that it be sumthing that tother is desirous to here. his company) if otherwise he cannot learn, what manner of country the stranger dwelleth in: from what place he cometh: and whither he is going: what pastime or exercise he loveth. By which means he may redemand of the weariness, or plesantness of the journey: of the foulness or fairness of the weather: whether the country he dwelleth in serve commodiously to the use of such things as he delighteth in: whether the Gentlemen of that shire be companiable in the like or not: and by this means, also he shallbe able so to understand of more country's, and men, than he knows, although he met with them as strangers, yet he shallbe provided of somewhat to discourse with them thereof. But if a man talk with his better, he must always observe with what attentiveness or willing mind the other giveth ear to him, that he may leave of, before the other be weary: and to be very heedful that he speak nothing affirmatively, but that himself hath seen: but he may well say I have hard, or I have read, that this, or that is thus. And in telling any thing by hearsay, specially to a stranger, he must respect three things, th'one, that it sound not to the dispraise of any by name, except it be a thing openly known, and yet the dispraised may hap to be so near a friend to him that shall hear it, as the teller shall get mislike. The other is, that when they tell a tale of an other man's mouth, he forbear to tell the name of his author especially, if he be his friend, for if it shall seem unlikely though it be true, he shall bring his friends credit in suspect. The third kind is, that he never take upon him in open presence, to make any report of the sayings or doings of his betters, except they be such as the company knoweth him to be familiarly acquainted with, for otherwise, he shall make himself compared to them that talk of Robin Hood and never shot in his bow. Lastly let him never make up his entertainments with the dispraise, or mocking of any, either present, or absent, though he hear other do the like, (except only in the company of his very assured friends) and that for this respect. A young man must ever think that it is unpossible for him to be so complete in all perfections of beehavour, but that some thing remains in him worthy the laughing at, if men should not forbear him in respect of time, which brings experience to the wisest, and peradventure too, even some of the same defects which he seethe scoffed at in another, may be in himself, unknown to himself, or at least others as ill: And therefore the wisest way is, if his better seem to deride any for his beehavour, to appear by a smiling countenance to be of the same opinion: but in words to escuse it, if he may, as if the doings of him that is mocked show simplicity, thus: It may be that bashfulness is the cause: if they show rudeness, than thus: Want of experience makes men err. But if they be his equals, or interiours that so scoff, then merely, thus: Go too sirs, many a one going about to mock one he cares not for, doth often touch himself or his near friend, or by a similitude thus: On, on, see ye never any or this, that lift up a weapon to strike another and hit himself. Or thus: Take your pleasure my masters, I warrant you there bee that do asmuch for us, as we do for them. And in deed there cannot any greater praise be given to any man, than this, that one shall never here him speak ill of any, and hearing ill, will make the best of it. How be it, it is both within the limits of honesty, wisdom, & friendship, any man to discourse plainly with his friend, either of the misbehavour, or unhonest dealings of any: that on the one side he may show himself a misliker of ill people, and also make his friend ware of them. And by the way it is to be noted, that there be three sorts of people, which whosoever shall scoff and scorn at, or else jest with them, further than the compass of courtesy shall permit, shall receive more disgrace by doing it, than the other shall by suffering it. The first is women, or simple mild spirited men: for women must never be jesters, nor scoffers, further than the bounds of modesty and courtesy, to make the time pass away the more pleasantly: so that a man to jest so far with them as they may not for shame answer, nor for insufficiency quarrel for, willbe accounted a dishonourable battle, wherein the vanquished hath more honour than the vanquisher: for it is better to yield with silence, then to contend This is meant by sharp and taunting jests when a man will seek to disgrace or put one out of countenance by jests. for the mastery in unfitting terms, and to offer the mild spreeted man the like: that finding himself aggrieved, hath neither the wit to shifted of it in words, neither the courage to revenge it in deeds: is in the same predicament that the woman is: And all noble minds do of their courtesies forbear to offend, and offer to defend all those that either cannot (as feeble people) or aught not (as the feminine sex) revenge or defend themselves. The second sort that may not be mocked or scoffed at, be aged people, and such as ve deformed, for want either of beauty, favour, or other blemishes in their shape, stature or limbs: because none of these things be faults of their own making, neither lieth it in their power to amend them. So as we aught rather to be moved thereby to thank the maker of us all, for dealing so much better with us, then with them, then to scorn or deprave them for that they cannot help. And if withal we will consider, that the deformities of the mind, be so much fouler than those of the body, as the soul is of more value, and aught to be more uniform: it willbe a good mean to make the outward defects of others, very small in respect of our own, which cannot, but be greater and many more, and consequently, rather to escuse them, then despise them. The third sort that cannot bear, neither aught to be offered scoffing, mocking, or jesting: be those that be in misery: either by sorrow, imprisonment, or any adversity, by loss of freeindes, substance or credit: For these be things sent from God, to put us in remembrance, that we having deserved as ill, may fall into the like when it pleaseth him: and in the mean times be objects for us, to practise our compassion & charity upon. But there may rise this question, seeing that public enterteinments, specially among young folks, are continued more often with speech of little importance then with matters of weight: How a man finding himself in such company, as are neither fit to discourse of matters of wisdom, nor yet to be imparted with of his own private affairs, shall find matter sufficient to pass the time in company? For answer hereunto, let this be remembered, that where as I have said, that men must take heed in their open talk, how they be to busy in bringing in the sayings and doings of noble people, lest the hearers should think that he arrogateth to himself greater acquaintance with such, then in deed he hath: or else, lest coming to their ears, they should mislike that their inferiors should make them their talking stocks. Yet if he that shall so introduce (by way of confirmation, ensample, or similitude) the saying of his betters, be sure that it show his wisdom and praise, or at the lest, some pleasantness without any harm or disgrace to any other, he may well use it in his talk: Provided that he speak it as by hearsay, except he have it in deed by his own knowledge. Also women and deformed people, may be pleasanted and jested with, if their wit be such as they delight in the like, and can in good sport interchange in the same manner. Provided that the bounds of courtesy be observed (that is) that there be no cause of blushing given. Also, all men in sickness, prisonment, or poverty, be not miserable, for they be only such that have an afflicted mind: for some can jest and scoff at their own disgraces, thinking thereby to make them seem the less in other men's eyes, while they appear no heavier, than such as themselves can pleasantly bear: And such had rather be jested with, then pitied. The fault therefore that can be committed in these people, is the mocking them behind their backs, or despising them, which no man aught to show to any, except it be to them that be known to be impudent and shameless people, or else such as be known to be overwening fools in their own conceit, and be such as do the like by others. Of these a man may talk his pleasure, as well of them, as with them, without any disgrace to himself: Provided that if any quarrel rise thereby, he be as ready of courage to maintain it with his hand, as of speech to utter it with his tongue. Also a man may jest with his very familiar friend, if he find him of disposition willing to bear it, and of wit sufficient to answer it. And it skills not what he lay to his charge, though it be dishonesty: provided that it be not true that is imputed to him, or if it be true that the other be so brazen faced as he will not be ashamed of it. I would not advise any man to jest much with his inferiors, unless they be such as he knoweth, both can and will use a restraint of over malepartnes. For if a gentleman should be saucily used by jest, by his inferior, he cannot escape disgrace, whether he bear with it, or quarrel for it: but bearing it is best, and to shut it up rather with a pleasant nip, than any way to seem angry, if the mirth be of his own beginning. And thus much for a taste how a man may pass his talk among his betters and equals, in a strange place, and in strange company. Yet this admonition more I must add, that who so in his entertainments shall endeavour to tell any tale to move laughter (specially in strange company) had need to be sure that it carry that life or quickness with it, as he be not so much deceived of his expectation, that he be fayne himself to laugh alone: for that will be so great a disgrace, as in steed of laughing at the table, they will smile in their sleeves at him: and therefore to shun that he must beware that he take not in hand to tell any thing for foolish, that is not folly: nor for wise that hath colour of folly: nor for a wonder that is not wonderful: nor for rare, that is common: for want of experience may deceive all these. How a man shall behave himself in bad company, and among such roisters as will offer familiarity with him will he or no: and first a guess of such means as they will use thereto. ¶ The second Chapter. THeir manner is lightly, if they find a young Gentleman that is to be of a fair living, if they see him soverly given, after they have made their devise among themselves, how every man shall play his part, that one of them shall pretend great gravity with him, and he shall praise him to the clouds, and become his councillor. Another shall tell wonders to his fellow, to see if between them they can catch a woodcock of him. Another (if the first device serve not) will go about in scoffing and iollyinge sort, to see if by putting them out of countenance, they can make him glad to be of their faction, and to further the same, an other shall seem to reprove all them. And as though he were the plainest honest man in the company, he will offer to quarrel with them in his behalf: and all will be done with such oaths and sad looks as for all a man is warned (he shall doubt) whither there be any that mean good faith or not. And it may be in deed that some of these may mean honestly, and that may be the first & the last, (for thither two bewray themselves) and therefore a man must use those he doubts of in such sort, as he neither utterly reject them, meaning well, nor show him so foolish, as at the first or upon small acquaintance to credit every man that will proffer him fair words. And therefore, for the first man that upon some little acquaintance shall take upon him to praise or advise him, let him consider what reputacin and countenance he is of, or if they be such, as be of living, and withal can be contented to live within the compass of his own, then there is the less suspicion to be had of him, further than this: that every wise man will suspect any man that too much praiseth him (except it be his familiar and assured friend) but for the more surety it shallbe well to answer in this manner: not seriously, but somewhat smile and famillierly. Me thinks it very good that you and I were never better acquainted: for by that means you may be kept in that good opinion which now ye seem to conceive of me, either by hearsay, or by your own guess, lest by too much conversation you be made to change your mind: but in the mean time I thank you, both of your good liking, and of the good advice you proffer me: for I shall ever have need of good counsel: and if there be any other thing (because I am unfurnished to requited you in the same) wherein I may pleasure you as much, you shall find me as ready. And so to shifted him of and fall into some other talk, inquiring of this or that, him or her, as the object of the eye or mind shall lead. Now for the wonder tellers, I find three or four sorts of them: the one sort only upon pleasure to pass away the time, not looking to be believed of any, but to be iolled within the like: With these the best way is merely to take upon you to know it to be true, and to add to it something that may make it seem more unlikely. And though it should so fall out that the tale should be true, that to another seemeth either unlike or unpossible: yet is there no harm done, in not seeming to believe it, while I know no reason to lead me thereto: marry, if after the same with sad asseveration and others be justified to be true: a man must of courtesy seem to credit their others, but never the more to confess it likely, except they can show so by reason. Thother sort for that they would be taken for doers or knowers of great things, will for their own glory tell marvels, either of such things as they have done, or such things as they have seen in strange Countries. And will think in deed, what by his solemn countenance, what by swearing and lying, either to be credited, or at lest that no man shall seem to discredit them: and if any go about it to quarrel with them. In this case I would either say nothing, or if he should direct his tale to me, whereby I must be droven to say something: I should be in surche sort as I would seem to sooth him in words, but others such as I thought my friends, should perceive by my countenance I rather thought it pity to put him out of his vain, then was of the mind to believe all he said. Yet that must be done so cunningly too, that if the teller or the hearers should, to pick a thank, challenge me for the same: I would be able (if I list) without denying any thing I said or did, or make the blame light on them that would go about to distain my meaning, as thus: Can I not look on such a one, or speak so, but that I must mean as you would: it is you (me thinks) that go about to bring in question that which no man else thought on, if I were as he, I would thank you for that etc. The third, and the worst of these wonder tellers, is he that in very deed maketh it his art, of purpose to catch Woodcocks (as they term it) and they will use it either so connyngly or so impudently, as they will make him, whom they hunt after to be a will in that point, or seem a fool: for they will so mingle things like to be true, or at the lest not impossible with things merely, false and unpossible: as if the hearer shall either receive all indifferently, or reject all indifferently, he shall seem either too ignorant, or too light of beeleif. And if he shall by judgement scan and sever the other from the other, and so condemn any part, though not the whole: then swearing, flouting and quarreling, willbe offered to justify the matter: and this it is (will they say) to tell a tale to him that hath never gone further than his mother and nursery, to call for his pap in a morning. etc. And then must the last man that I first spoke of and is the fourth in this tragedy, step forth and tell his fellow he offereth the young Gentleman too much wrong, and he shall not take it at his hands, and himself will take his part, and go into the field, either with him or for him. To shifted both these of, the best way (if any will rid it) is first to let the other to tell all his lies, & to let him pass with a smile in the sleelie, (as they will call it) rather than to use either admiration, affirmation, or negation: but if he be urged to say his opinion, as he shall (if it be a verse of course) then shortly to answer, thus: or the like: I say no more, but it may be true for me: for there be many things that seem unpossible, and yet prove true. Matters of faith may not be reasoned on, Or thus: Me thinks it is a very good tale, I mean not to scan any further on the matter. And these or the like words may be uttered with such a grace, as the countenance may show the mind, and yet the speech keep them from quarrel. But if they will needs prosecute it to the uttermost: then he that shall seem to set the young Gentleman a gog, and offer to be his companion, he must of courtesy seem to thank him, but not be so unwise as accept him. For no wise man will accept into his company, at such a bargain, a stranger if he have any of his friends to make account of, though he suspect no practice at all, but yet he must be put of with good words, as thus: I thank you, you shall not need to take the pain, for I have promised a friend of mine, in these cases (if I take any body with me) it * There is a difference between ruffanly phrases and such reproachful words as express the foulness of the fact or the illness of the person. must be he: I will quarrel with no body, but if any body have any quarrel to me, I have business into such a place, such a day, at such an hour: I will have but myself and my man, or but myself and my friend, there he may find me if he dare: and so asmutch as may be to forbear ruffainly words. But if any man be called by any reproachful names they must needs be requited both in terms and deeds but after sundry manners according to the person, the cause and the place. For if a man's better, being a noble person If the noble man be not of authority. (not being of the counsel) shall in scornful words challenge his inferior for any thing of offence toward him, the inferior aught by all means (not abaceing himself too much) to escuse the matter. Or if it be a fault (such as he can yield no reason for the committing of it) to yield with request of pardon. But if either the escuse will not be taken, or that the inferior had just cause to commit the offence, & that thereupon the noble man break out in terms of reproach, as knave, or lie: it may very well be answered thus: My Lord, these terms be odious, and such as (assure yourself) I would not bear if you were my equal, neither peradventure would you offer them, but I pray you leave them, for I cannot promise' you still to temper myself so, but that I may forget you be a noble man. And at the next push thus: I neither am knave, nor lie any more than you, take it as you list, Or thus: My Lord, I know you are a noble man, you may peradventure overmatch me with your train, and yet I must scamble as well as I can too: These terms be very unsitting, you must either forbear them, or give me leave to think too, Or thus: Your ●● may bestow these liveries on those that live by you, and cannot live without you: it you will not have me forget you, forget not yourself, for I am much afeard I shall respect the villainy you offer me above the dignity of your estate: But if a great parsonage shall reprove one for any fault, than mediation of friends, and humble words, as thus: I am sorry your Lo. should grow to these terms: I neither am such, nor deserve to be so called of you: howbeit you be to great a state for me to contend with, but if the proudest he in this land being mine equal, or not so much my better should use me so, if I did not my best to teach him better manner, you might well publish me for such as you call me: but I will bear all these and be glad of your Lo. favour if I may get it, if not I must live like a poor man and do as I may, Or thus: My Lord, these be very ill terms to offer to a Gentleman: and I must tell, you offer them to him that would not bear them at many men's hands, but I must bear them at yours. For I confess you be able to overmatch me: your train is longer than mine: if I had thought you would have used me thus, your Lordship should have pardoned me for coming to you at that time. Now it is to be considered that words all this while as they break no bones (so from one much a man's better) they be no great disgraces: and a man may be counted the wiser to forbear, where he knoweth he shall by power and routs of men or kindred, be over matched. But if the best under a councillor should give a blow, a man shallbe ashamed, if he do not his best to reach him another, whatsoever come of it. Now if between equals, reproachful words do rise, it must be distinguished thus: If I give one occasion of offence that toucheth but his profit, and he give me reproachful names for it, as the Lie, or knave: I must for my credit sake, not only requited those words with like words, but count the wrong mine: The best way to this is to lend him a blow. and either offer the first blow (if the place serve for it) or else challenge him into the field: unless I can (for policy sake) drive him to challenge me to save myself from the danger of the law. For fight quarrels never are made for profit, but for honour: and therefore whatsoever hurt be done, not touching credit, the quarrel must be his that receiveth the first reproachful words: so touching the cause, the right consideration is this: If I offer the first reproach, disdain, or despite, the quarrel is the others: his part it is to challenge, and I need not to my equal to make the challenge. But if the other give me the first lie, or like disgrace, it is not enough to say he lieth again: but I must needs offer a blow, or challenge the feeild. If an inferior offer his better ill speech, though the better began with him: yet he must not do with him as with his equal: that is, to tarry till he make the challenge: but he must account himself asmutch disgraced, that his inferior hath replied upon him, as though his equal had begun with him: And therefore, if the place serve, he must reward that reply with a rap on the face with a dagger. But if his inferior be no Gentleman, he may choose without any imputation of cowardice, whether he will either challenge him, or receive any challenge at his hands: but turn one of his men to him, except that inferior be so well esteemed for his valiancy, as the Gentleman may be thought, if he have not otherwise tried himself to make refusal for fear. In this case, so that he make show by words, that he is contented to abase himself, to reform the pride of a malapert knave, a man were better to take the quarrel himself, then to rest condemned of the company, specially if the rest of the company be of reputation. Thus much for the person and the cause, touching the place and the manner thus: Within the Queen's house (being she court) no man for any cause must give or require any blow, if they do they loose their hand. In the house of much a man's better, he may not offer a blow: but if any be offered him, he must needs (if he can) requited it: at the lest show his endeavour thereto. In the house of his freeinde, I mean in the But yet the villainy may be such as he may strain good mann●●. dining place at the board, or where any assembly is a man may not offer a blow; but if he have cause given him, he shall do well to make show in words that he forbeareth the present occasion, respecting the disturbance of the company. In a man's own house, or his Fathers, he must not offer a stranger a blow to breed the quarrel on: but that in those places, it willbe thought his courage is grounded upon hope of his freeindes and servants help, more than upon any value: And it willbe no disgrace to the other to forbear him, but rather taken for wisdom, where he may be overmatched. Therefore the manner that is to be observed in those places, when provocation of quarrel is given by others is to be uttered in words thus: This is no place to grow in terms in, if it were you would not be so brave, Or thus: These be too great villainies to be born, if it were not in mine own house, where thou knowest I am able to eat thee up, Or thus: If it were not for troubling this company I would be your carver of a piece of my dagger: but doubt not but I shall find a time for you. Or thus: Not more words, this matter shall be eased anon you shall see, Or thus: I thank you sir, nay take your pleasure, I But all challenges of pointing places must be made in the care for danger of law. He that vaunteth what he hath done or ●h●●●●neth what he will do shallbe judged a m● of many words and few deeds. could rail too, but then I should be like such a rascal as thyself, tell me this soon if thou see I forget it: but if I do take me for such a cowardly boy as I will take thee for, till thou meet me in such a place, Or thus: Away rascal with thy villainous words, I hear by thy great boast I shall pass my journey quietly at such an hour, in such a place. I know I shall have cause to report thee for a good quiet fellow: I, no more a do, you know my mind. If any man be challenged, if he dare to meet an other in any place, he may (provided that the challenged have received no villainy) very well answer thus: What I dare do shallbe seen, when the quarrel is mine, I have no matter to you: if you be angry seek you the redress as you may: I mean not to baulk the high way, nor step a stride But these words must be uttered with such a gallant, pleasant, & somewhat scornful grace, that it may appear he desireth nothing more than that that other should meet him. out of my way for you: you may easily find me at your pleasure: howbeit I protest I would be loath to have to do with any man: marry, if I be interrupted of my walk, I must do as well as I can to keep my footing. Or thus: If I dare not, you must hold me excused, I promise' you in deed I dare make no such set matches, but my buizenesse lieth such away; if any go about to hinder me of my journey, he may hap find that he angreth me: for in deed I love not to be letted of my purpose, but I will not quarrel with a goose, Or thus: Alas, alas, dare; it were a sorry goaste that dared not encounter such a guest: but it would grieve one to be driven to forsake his country for zincking a ditch with ●●●che a carrion. But to conclude in this, I shall advise the young If hearing of frays a man seem desirous to inquire of the cause and the manner, he shall get experience without bewraying his ignorance, for it will be thought to proceed of delight to here, rather than of necessity to learn. Gentleman to inform himself afore he have need by 〈…〉 at their hands, that the experienced in the trade, that when he hath need he may not only be provided of courage, but also of words, phrase and manner to it curragiously: and in the stoutest and seemliest manner for all that I have written hitherto of this matter, hath been rather to show that in every thing there is a mean to be used, in one sort to inferiors: and in another sort to superiors and equals: to th'end to provoke him to learn the right manner, then of a meaning to show any skill of mine in the same, beelonging nothing to my profession: and therefore▪ I will now say something how he shall take the jestings, the praisings, and the thanks of his superiors and equals, as things that are both fit for me to writ, and shall of him be oftener and sooner put in practice. First I will descrive some sundry manner of jesting. One is, when a man will charge his familiar friend (a man's familiar may be either his equal or his better, that list of courtesy to become his equal, or one somewhat his inferior to whom he list by like courtesy to make his equal) with some ill matter that all the company knoweth to be untrue. In that kind there is no difficulty to answer: but it is good to have variety of phrase, and not to answer still after one manner: to his mere equal thus: You do well to exercise your tongue in matters of no troth▪ you may hap else to be taken for a lie teller. Or thus: Go too, you will have every body see what a lavish tongued fellow you be; that cannot so much as keep counsel of that he knoweth not, what would he do think you of that he knoweth? Or thus: Nay I dare say you would fain have it believed, for it grieveth him that any man should be taken for honester man than himself, Or thus: Go too, you were best leave your tattling, lest I fall a telling of true tales, Or thus: Nay tell on, for I am sure all is gospel that cometh out of those lips of yours, Or thus: This is nothing finely handled of you, you should have said something that had carried some likelihood with it, Or thus: Go too, I will make you no more of my council seeing you be such a blade, Or thus: Is this the trust you perform with your freeindes, to tell all and more too? Or thus: Hold thy peace fool, for my honesty is so well known, as no body here will believe thee. ¶ Now in the like case to a man's better must be other phrases, as thus: You say truth sir I have been taken for a sore fellow at that, when I was a youngman, Or thus: If my credit were not very good, this were enough to disgrace me quite, Or thus: It may be true that you say, but I warrant you I handle the matter so cunningly, that there is no proof to be had of it, Or thus: It were great pity any body should doubt of that matter, Or thus: Thus a man's credit is put in danger by you if the hearers be not the more favourable, Or thus: This is because my face is towards you: if I would turn my back I know ye would tell a better tale for me, Or thus: Some measure other men's trades by their own, but I would be loath any body should think I mean so by you. ¶ An other kind of jesting with a man's friend is, when they charge him to have said or done something of a third person, that only himself and his friend knoweth to be feigned: but yet it may be told with such a resemblance of truth, as the hearers may doubt whether it be true or no. In this case also it is not good to make denial: but to use some such phrase or countenance as she hearers may perceive he maketh so little account of it, as it needeth no escuse or denial, as thus: You have lost much good labour now, if you be not believed, Or thus: You may cell this good cheap, seeing it is of your own making, Or thus: I like you well, for I see you love to make the best of any thing, ever, when you wot not how to make the worst, Or thus: I pray you believe him in this, and you shall see he will take such a pride in it, that he will coin you new staff every day. Or to a man's better: Very well, you may say that and more too, if it please you, Or thus: You must look with a sadder countenance when you willbe believed. another kind is when they will touch one with something which is true: and though it be no great infamy, yet it may be somewhat that a man would be loath to confess, and yet as loath to be taken for a denier of that which is known to be true. In this case a man may answer thus: You do but dream peradventure, when you wake you shall find it otherwise, Or thus: Lo, now you have herded say so: and being of a good faith, you beeleeved it strait, Or thus: Nay no doubt but it must needs be true, if you say it, Or thus: Did I? you speak your pleasure, a good tale in deed if it were long inongh. Or to your better thus: This is but some malicious tongue, that hath These and like speeches with altering only the sound and countenance may serve in sport, or between sport and earnest, if a man like not to be jested with. sounded this in your ears, I am sure you do not believe it, Or thus: Nay you may say what pleaseth you, for I will do so much as confess it, rather than you should not be believed, Or thus: I perceive you mind to make me beeholding to you for giving me so good report, Or thus: I know sir your good word is ever at hand for your friends, and I perceive by this that I am one of them, Or thus: I am bound to you always, I trust to be able one way or other to make you amendss, Or thus: Not I warrant you, there shall no man be able to catch me in such a fault. Or thus: Well this you would do if a man's marriage lay on it, Or thus: Well, when I lack one to speak well for me, I know where to find him at a need. Or thus: If you look so sadly, you will make them believe you in deed. ¶ An other kind of jesting is, when one praiseth another for well handling of any matter, either in saying or doing, that in deed hath not been well, or not so well or wisely as it might have been: whereby the other knoweth he speaketh by contraries, this is to be answered diversly, as thus: Now if another time you lack one to do such a thing finely, it is but sending for me, & you shallbe sped, Or thus: It is a sign you have a good insight with you, for I may tell to you, and yet I would be loath to vaunt too: it was very excellently done in deed, Or thus: Well, ye see I love not to brag, but when I do a thing very wisely, I love such freeindes as will tell me of it, Or thus: O nay, but if you had had the handling of it it would have been exquisitively done. Or to a man's better thus: Well, if a man chance to show all the wit he hath in doing of a thing, were it reason there should be any more required? Or thus: I may tell to you, I did it withal the provision of wit I had at that tune in store, Or thus: Nay, I trust I shall never surfeit with doing too wisely, Or thus: I love not to dissemble with my freeindes, I mean to show them all my wit at once. To conclude, in any thing that may seem to carry some defect in the doing, if the doer can himself either with wit turn it to some merry conceit, or else help merely to mock him, himself for company: it will appear either no defect, or else to dee committed rather by carelessness, then for want of wit. Another kind of jesting is to praise a man to his face of things that be true in deed: as for his parsonage, his wit, his qualities, his good nature, or his learning: and whether this he spoken in sport, or in earnest, it is all one: for a man must ever take upon him as though all praises were spoken in jest: by which means he may in sport arrogate them all to himself, with less glory, than it with taking it in earnest he should endeavour to put them from him. So as all such praises may be answered thus with a smiling grace. Go too, you think now that I will do as much for you: and so I would if I thought you as worthy of it as I: but you must bate me an ace of that, Or thus: In deed I must confess it is so: and you that want some of these rare gifts, which I am endowed with must be contented too, Or thus: You say true, there be many proper fellows of the name of us, if ye known them, Or thus: These things be but trifles with me, in comparison of that I could do if I list, Or thus: You need say no more, for I warrant you, I believe all this to be true, and much more. Or to a man's better thus: I thank you for saying so, for I hope some body here will believe it, Or thus: Take heed sir, that you make not me to believe you herein, better than you believe yourself: for I tell you, it will be hard to make me think the contrary, Or thus: Beware what you say, for it lieth in you to bring me in as great an error as this comes too, Or thus: I know you will say nothing, but that you be sure is true: and therefore, I mean both to believe it myself, and also to persuade the audience to be of a right faith. ¶ How a man shall answer to the praise and thanks, and courtesies seriously offered by his betters or equals. The third Chapter. THe praise that any man shall give his freeindes to his face, proceeding of his own judgement, in earnest and freeindly wise, as one freeinde may in some order (in uttering either his own affection, or to encourage the other without touch of flatrerie) do to an other: it may be answered to his equal freeind, Any praises or thanks require rather somewhat a smiling grace then too solemn, though it be to a man's better doing it of good faith, in part as I have prescribed before towards his better, in doing the like in mirth. Or thus: I may not take your praise for any thing, for the goodwill you bear me blinds you. Or thus: I pray you look better into me, and when you find how much you be deceived, tell me of it, that I may amend it, Or thus: If another should tell me so much, I should think he mocks me: but you may mock me indeed, and pass unespied, for the goodwill I think you bear me. To a staunger, that shall praise him, or seem to conceive a good opinion of him thus: It were best (I think) never to be better acquainted with you, lest I make you of another opinion, Or thus: I thank you for your good opinion, I would I could beguile every body so cunningly as to make them of the same mind. And to a man's better thus: How much so ever I shall want in this, my readiness to be at your commandment shall supply it, Or thus: The good opinion, which rather my good hap, than my deserts hath wrought in you, causeth you (I think) to believe that to be in me, which you wish to be in me. Or thus: I accounted my hap good, that it pleaseth you, but to say thus much: for at the lest, I shallbe ashamed of as much as I find wanting hereof in myself, Or thus: I cannot but take this as a friendly courtesy, by policy to encourage me to seek the attainment of that which I am born in hand to have already. These and like answers may be applied also to such as shall bring to his ears the good reports of his freeindes given out of him behind his back (as they term it.) Provided that he pike them out according to the distinction of people before described: and withal, as it is to be considered that all things spoken in a show of mirth, though it seem to the hearer somewhat sharp (and peradventure anger him) is yet to be dissembled and answered merely. So whensoever a man in any thing that he may attribute truly to himself is praised to his face, though it be spoken earnestly and of good meaning: In all other entertainments spoken seriously, a gladsome look is a better grace than a flattering s●●le. he aught also, in his foresaid manner of answers: to show such a smiling grace, as it may appear he taketh it as spoken rather of their courtesy, then for any cause he finds in himself why they should so say: in speech (for the most part) the countenance, the grace, and sound in the pronunciation is able with one self sentence, without altringe word or syllable, to please or displease others, to show himself wise, or make him for so much to seem foolish. SALOMON affirmeth, that there is nothing that more trieth the wit of man, than the hearing of his own praise: for says he, the wise man is put too his trial, when he is praised to his face. And therefore for this matter I conclude, that for as much as many times it is hard to find who speaketh of flattery contrary to his thought: who by way of mockery, though he know he say true, to try him, and who of good zeal to show affection, and to encourage him: The surest way in this doubt is (except to those whose freeindship by other means he hath experience of) to use his answers so, as he may make them earnest or sport at his pleasure, as he perceiveth their asseveration to provoke him. How a man shall acquit himself towards noble people, that shall either for his freeindes' sake, or his own, offer him courtesies: or assure him offreeindship, willing him in all chances to be bold with him. The. iiii. Chapter. IN this case as in all other of intertaimnents; the inferior must ●●●e in what manner, whether seriously or familiarly, such courtesy or entertainment be offered him▪ and thereafter▪ to ch●●e out and shape out answers▪ agreeable to each kind▪ for the first, if he be a stranger to him: but not to his friends thus: I know such, or such of my freeindes so much be holding to you too, as hath been sufficient to bind me to honour and love you: and seeing it pleaseth you to extend your courtesy also towards me, I can but wish my service, as sufficient as my good will is: to assure you too, of my thankful mind, Or thus: My Lord, I can but acknowledge the debt for myself, which before I thought to own for others of my freeindes, that have tasted of your courtesy: but I am glad that I may by this means show it, which your Lordship shall find me ready to do, wherein soever I shall think my service may be acceptable, Or thus: As this your Lordship's goodness rises of your courtesy without any deserts, so must I confess myself ever unable to counterpoise it: I can but acknowledge myself too much bound to you for it: and double bound, if it shall please you to command me to the uttermost of my power, Or thus: I humbly thank your L. I can but requited it with my service, and that I beseech you command, Or thus: My humble thanks are but an unequal recompense, and therefore I shall desire your L. to put my grateful mind in trial, by commanding my service, Or shortly, thus: If my service may any way be aught worth, if I may but understand it, it shall not need to be commanded, Or thus: I humbly thanks your L. and I beseech you command me, as your servant, Or thus: I humbly thank your L. and I beseech you think that you vontchsafe this courtesy on him that will be as ready to requited it with the uttermost of his service, as he that is better stored of words. The use of long or short sentences must be employed according as he seethe the hearer at leisure. How when the foresaid speeches be offered by a noble person pleasantly, that is of acquaintance which must be also pleasantly answered. The. u Chapter. MY Lord, you know I have no store of eloquence: but what maim so ever you find in my utterance, I can assure, you shall find none in my good will, whensoever I may do you any service, Or thus: I humbly thank your L. I warrant you I make so sure reckoning thereof, as I am more like to be bold of your courtesy, then to request it: but I must pray your Lordship to think that shall be rather for want of power then of good will, Or thus: Your Lordship must be content with my humble thanks for this time● but I would be very sorry to think your L. made not account of me, as of him whom you may most command Or thus: My Lord I have had to good experience of your former courtesies, both towards me and other my freeindes, as I had need with my service to go about to recompense some part of that, before I come in debt for any more: But the less we can requited, the more we must stand bound. How to an equal, or but little better being a freeind and familiar. ¶ The. vi. Chapter. TO our freeinde thus: I am in your debt for so much already as if you lend me any more, you will make me bankroute: and agreed with you for the tenth part, Or thus: You offer me so much, and I can requited so little: as I see, you mean to make me an ill debtor still, Or thus: You know I have no curious words in store, but in plain terms, I thank you, and will requited it if I can. Or seriously thus: I pray you think, that though I use not many words with you, I think myself so much beeholding to your ●● wherein I may pleasure you, if you command me not, I shall think, you love me not. Or to a stranger thus: Sir I thank you of this courtesy, if it shall lie in me to requited it, I pray you be as bold with me, Or thus: Sir I must be your debtor for this courtesy, till time and place serve to requited it: but in the mean time I thank you, I pray you make the like account of me. How a man shall take thanks of a noble person. The. seven. Chapter. IF thanks be offered in serious manner & for any weighty matter thus: My Lord, it was my goodwill, as well as my duty, to have done it to your best contentation: but if there be any defect in it, I pray your Lordship, impute it to mine unskilfulness. Or thus: My Lord it is no reason that you thank him, whom you aught to command: and specially me, that am unable to satisfy for the tenth part of that duty or goodwill I own you: but if there bee aught done to your contentation, or that have pleased you, I am very well a paid and sufficiently thanked, Or if merely thus: I pray you keep your thanks for a thing more worthy them: for if your Lordship beestow so many thanks for so small matters, you will make me look for too many when I shall do you any better service. ¶ To a man's equal freeinde, or but little his better thus: Nay sir, you will mar me, if you give me too many thanks: for than you will bring me more in debt for my thanks, that I am yours for this matter by a great deal, Or thus: Do freeindes use this curiosity in giving thanks, I am sure it is but to teach me good manners against an other time, Or thus: I pray you keep thanks for strangers, and let me know whether it were to your liking or not, Or thus: You be at too much cost for so small a matter: I know now where to have thanks another time when I deserve them. How a man may give thanks to his betters and equals. The. viii. Chapter. IF my humble thanks were a sufficient recompense to your Lordship, I should not rest so much in your debt as now I am bound to do, for such a courtesy. etc. Or thus: My Lord, I have humble thanks to tender, for such a matter which did me great pleasure: but they be so unequal a requital, as I were best to add this to the rest of your courtesies or goodness, & stand bound for the whole Or thus: I am so much bound to your Lordship, for such a thing, etc. As I must think all the service I can do too little worth in respect of your goodness showed therein. To a man's freeinde thus: I am too much in your debt, to give you thanks for such a thing. etc. For till I can make some show in deeds, I will come upon the score with you in words, Or thus: Though thanks be not enough for this pleasure that you have done me: yet I pray you allow of them till I be able to make better payment. What manners be requisite at the Table, and what to be shunned: for, what is to be considered in the washing before Dinner, and in the sitting down, is set forth in the beginning of this Direction. The. ix. Chapter. FIrst, to pause when a man is set, and with leisure to unfold his Napkin, wipe his knife, cut his bread, and there to stay till either his better beegin, or make countenance to him to eat where he list: and then to This ceremony is not to be used, but when a man sitteth at the upper mess with his b●tters, or at the second, when either the master of the house sitteth there, or some ●●ble person. begin, not at the dish that shall stand right before his better, except it be offered him: neither of the daintiest meats which (lightly) stand lowest: but to choose some such dish to be doing on the while, till he see whether his better will choose or refuse some other dish, that he had rather eat on. Item to have an eye to such as sit next beeneath him and cannot reach, and peradventure for good manner (if they be any thing his inferiors) will not speak: and if they eat not, to ask whether he shallbe their Carver. But I would not have him to be any man's Carver without asking him first, except it be to one so much his inferior, as he knoweth will be glad of the courtesy he showeth him, though he like not the meat. For as to Carve to a man's better is a presumption, so to one's equal, except by asking first the question, you know it willbe welcome to him, willbe taken for too much fawning, except also that for the daintiness of the meat, or fine choosing of the best morsel, he offereth it to his very familiar friend, by way of a courteous affection: for a man must for a general rule, take heed that in a strange place he be not too busy in offering service, or courtesies, though it be to his betters: but in a man's own house or his Fathers, it cannot lightly be too much. Item if a man be in his own house, or his Fathers, where it beecometh him to give countenance or entertainment, he may to his equal, and such as be somewhat his inferiors, he may the oftener proffer them this or that meat, and drink to them, but not too much. For if a man every time he drinketh, shall drink to I●'s counted a foolish grace ever to drink to somebody, & specially at the first draft one or other, it willbe seen, as though he did it for lack of countenance: so that to use the salutation of the Cup above twice in one meal, willbe too much, except the whole company fall to quaffing. For wise men do rather seek to satisfy their guests with some good speeches, then with such dumb signs. This kind of Cup greeting aught not to be used but in one of these two respects: either to make our inferior (to whom we mean not to use speech of familiarity) to think we will do them a courtesy: or else to our very freeinde by way of congratulation. And therefore a man must never drink to his better, except he be sure that by way of freeindship and familiarity he be content to become his equal, and that not with a solemn or sad countenance, but with some smiling grace, that the rest may know it proceedeth of familiarity, and not of presumption: yet with reverent words and change of phrase, as thus: My Lord, if some young Nobleman: Sir, or Madam, will it please you to give me leave. Or thus: Shall I be so bold as salute you with this Cup of Wine. Or thus: By your leave sir, against it next please you. Or thus: Will you give me leave to remember such a one? as some freeinde of his. Or thus: To pluck you out of your studies. Or thus: Saving your tale sir. Item, that above all things in a strange place, or in the presence of strangers, he attend not so greedily, nor so continually to his feeding: but that in modest wise, without either gazing too long in another man's face: or yet hanging his head continually on his trencher: he hath both his eye and his ear so ready, that nothing is said or done at the board, but he may perceive it, for his learning, that good is to follow, that ill is to eschew. And when he seeth any thing uncomely, to examine himself, whether he have not the same grace himself: and also to do the like, whensoever he heareth any man dispraised. For most men know what is comely or uncomely in another: But many for lack of due observation in themselves, mock or dispraise in another, the same which others mock in them: and the rather for their so doing. Item, that he pawfe between meat & meat and never to carve himself, either of meat or bread, while his mouth is full: nor till he have swallowed the last morsel. Item, that he fill not his mouth so full of meat as he cannot hold his lips together while he is chawing: for otherwise, men shall look into his mouth, and see the meat roll up and down while he is eating: which is a fowl sight, and loathesome: and for that cause a man must forbear to speak with meat in his mouth, except he have so little as he be sure to hide it in his mouth while he is speaking. Item, while his better telleth him any tale, to cease eating: ●o the while he heareth, and while he answereth him. Item, if he he provoked to laugh in the presence of his betters, to do the same with as little noise as may be; and likewise in the company of strangers,, for too loud a laughter, specially, for slender occasions, do make wisemen counted foolish of such as know them not. Item, when a man will tell a merry tale, let him tell it so as himself be not the first that shall laugh at it. A smiling sound to make men know he speaketh but in sport, is good: but a feigned laughter is ill beecomming. A hearty laughter (so the matter be worth it) is allowable. Item he must beware that while another tell a tale, or make gestures: that his wits be not carried away, so as he gaze continually in his face, and make the same countenances which he seethe the other do: for that will make a man counted doltish. Item if he be constrained to yawn, reach, belch, cough, sneeses, cleanse the nose, or spit either at the board, or in the presence of his betters or strangers: he must suppress the sound, and shadow the sight, as much as he may conveniently without making it to nice. Item in carving himself or others, he must not imbrue too many of his fingers, nor his thumb: nor wallow his meat up and down too much in the sauce, because in so doing a man shall wash his fingers in the sauce, which others will loath, specially strangers. Now to conclude, though a man either at home or among his freeindes, may use what manner he list, without observing all these ceremonies: yet it shallbe very good so ● what to enure himself by daily custom▪ otherwise he shall in presence forget both them and himself. How a man shall pacify his freeind, his better, or his equal: if he have given him unwillingly any cause of offence. The. x. Chapter. IF ●or a light cause, then merely thus: I am sure you take it not in earnest, or think I meant otherwise then in the best part: for if you do, you shall do me great wrong, Or thus: By my truth I did, or said it to no such end, as you take it: and therefore I pray you think of it, as I meant it. Or thus: If I had thought it could have been so much mistaken, I would have been more wary: but let it suffice you that I meant but well and freeindly, for otherwise I did it not I assure you: Or earnestly for some greater matter, than thus: My hap is ill, that of so good a meaning, should fall out so ill conceiving, or so ill success: for that I did or said, was as I would have dove to my very freeinde, or would have had done to myself, it rests in your choice to believe me: but if you do not, you shall wrong your, self as well as me, in mistrusting me without a cause, Or thus: I can but tell you and assure you on my faith, I meant thus, Or thus: If I have given you any cause to think otherwise, or if it have fallen out contrary to mine expectation: I am not only soarie for it, but I will be ready to make any recompense I can, Or to one's better thus: Truly sir, it was not my intent to do herein any thing that might offend: but I will yield, that it is fault enough that I used no more circumspection, but that you may conceive ill of it: you need not to give me any penance, for that my repentance is so much, Or thus: If you known my mind, you would put me in trust for revenging this fault: for I shallbe angry with myself this good while for it. How a man shall shifted of reproaches or taunts offered between sport and earnest, by envious and scornful people that will seem to do it so cunningly as the other shall have the taunt, and yet at his own pleasure will deny it. The. xi. Chapter. THe best way is, if he can touch the same party as near, without seeming to be angry: but if he know nothing particularly to charge him or to mock him withal, then to scorn ●●n between sport and anger again, as thus: O finely handled, were you born so. Or thus: Jesus who would have thought you could have thrown so hard to hit yourself, Or thus: I dare say, you ween you have spoken very trimly now. Or thus: You have made a great speak sir, Or thus: That is quoth you, Or thus: I thank you of your cost, Or thus: It is but your good nature to take or expound it so. Or thus: As I remember I desired you not to say that for me: but yet you shall find me too kind hearted to die in your debt. Or thus: Did any body teach you to say so, or comes it of your mother wit. ¶ Now if they shall reply, & go about to make it seem they mean simply, then thus: I dare say you do, and therefore I thank you as heartily. Or thus: Why I trust you think not that I doubt of that, Or thus: Why I take it so, and therefore I commend you for it: and so turn it to mirth again, if the other will needs have it so. But if the other will prosecute it with sharp taunts, under▪ a ●leeryng or laughing countenance, than thus: Nay I am not skilled in jesters arte, tell me your mind in earnest, and you shall find me ready to make you such sport as I d●●●. Or thus: I will tell you, if you will needs become a Jester to make Gentlemen sport: It were best to call some other to help countenance you, that is of your faculty, for in faith I am nothing apt for you at this time. FINIS.