Vox Graculi, OR jack Daws PROGNOSTICATION.  
NO less wittily, then wondrously rectified, for the Elevation of all Vanity, Villainy, Sin, and Surquedry sublimate, keeping quarter in the Courts, Cities, and Countries, of all Christendom; For this year 1623.  Saepe malum hoc vobis praedixit ab aethere Cornix. 
Published by Authority.   

TO THE GENTLEmen READERS, I wish no worse, then white Boötes, and wet WETHER.  
GAllants, (and yet I hope no Gulls neither) As on a time I sat musing on the very verticke point of Hie-gate-hil, (with as little coin in my Pocket, and as much cunning in my Craneon, as most of our Starre-gazers have) To make experiment of my skill, if it could reach so high, as to take the just Altitude of the Blindman's Bottle-ale at Holloway. I spied such a cluster of Knaves below in the valley, (like so many Dansk Crows summoned on Dover sands against a storm) as that by my Astrolabe I began to collect; That this 
* Producing more wonders than Plato's Mirabilis Annus.  Year would prove intemperate, by reason of an extreme heat in Summer; insomuch that the stones in Cheapside shall be so hot, that diverse Steeletto-bearded Scape-thrifts shall fear to go from Paul's to the Counter i'th' Poultry: Whereupon I betook me to my Ephemerideses, and erecting a figure, have found such strange Accidents to fall out this year (Mercury being Lord and predominate in the house of Fortune) that many fools shall have full Bellies, and crammed Coffers; when wise men shall walk up and down with hungry stomaches▪ and empty pockets: and that many (who have newly buried their Sires, and leap▪ t into their Lands, before they be come to their wits) shall this year drown many an Acre of their Ancestors, in the bottom of a wine-cellar; and bury their 
* Quae malè parta, malè dilabuntur.  Demesnes in the Bellies of Brothel houses: Moreover, if jupiter were not joined with Mercury in a more favourable aspect, Butcher's wines should have little or nought to do all Lent, but ride out of town with their journeymen, and provide Pricks against Easter: Seeing therefore the wonders that are like to ensue this succeeding year, I have taken upon me (for the beneficial content of all my Countrymen) to comply this Prognostication, discoursing & discovering briefly the disposition of the four Quarters of the year 1623. the Eclipses both of Sun and Moon, with their dangerous and subsequent effects: by which (if Pisces play not the Porter) many poor men, wanting money, are like to fast on Sundays for Lack of food; and such as have no Shoes, to go barefoot; if certain devout Cobblers prove not the more propicious: Yet Astrology is not so certain, but that it may fail: and therefore diverse Ale-stufft-beleeving Hostesses, may perhaps chalk up more this year, then shall by their Customers be wiped out in two years after; But V. P. for that: Monedula capiet muscas, and digest them as easily, as some Churchmen do two livings, and never surfeit on them neither. Now as touching my Dedication; I was at first half way suggested to have culled out some Churchwarden or other for my Maecenas, who perhaps would have bid me once a year to dinner, or have fisted me with Forty-pences out of the poor-man's Box: But in the very rumination on this merrithought, steps in a good Star, and plainly told me, that Cum insipientibus ludere, insipidum est. Therefore, with the rest of my weatherbeaten brethrens, I must needs conclude, that Sapiens dominabitur astris.  
Your unparallelled Practitioner in Astrology, I. D.   

Health to all my friendly Acquaintance.  

ME thinks I hear you whisper (Sirs) that I  
Present you with a piece of Beggary,  
Or concealed Craving: And that here I show  
More Wit than's good: what would you have me do?  
Use Citty-fashion? heard you with brave speaking,  
And make the nearest show, at nearest breaking?  
If Poverty be it, you so much hate;  
O pardon that; for 'tis the 
* Hen quanta Poeta patiunturt  Muse's Fate.  
'Tis better beg an alms, then fall to 
* Yet Viro esurienti, necesse est furari, saith Suidas.  stealing;  
And worse to be dishonest, then 
* Appare quod es, aut esto quod appares. Aug.  plain-dealing.  
The hidebound Earth, of all relief me bars,  
I'm fain to pick a living from the Stars:  
And that's the mighty Motive, which excites me  
To this Attempt. Acceptance, full requites me  
In amplest measure, and contents me best:  
But (faith) I'm poor: You may conceive the rest.    

Of the Eclipses that shall happen in the year 1623. to the wonderful amazement of the beholders.  
IF we may credit the authentical Censures of Albumazar and Ptolomey, about the circumuolutions of celestial Bodies, whose influence doth excitate and procure perpetual Mutability in this lower Region: we shall find, that the Moon this year shall be eclipsed; which shall happen in one of the twelve Months, and in some one of the four Quarters of the year, whose dozen of points, as they shall be totally darkened, so the effects shall follow most strange and wondrous. For Cancer being the sole house of the Moon, doth presage, That this year, fruits shall be ravenously devoured by Caterpillars; as Pettifoggers, Brokers, and Flatterers, who feeding on the sweat of other men's brows, shall greatly blemish the Beauty of the Spring of Goodness, and disparage the forward growth of all wholesome & hottest herbs, unless some Northerly blast of Heaven's vengeance, clear the plants of suc● Caterpillars, with a sweeping plague. But Cancer being a liquid sign, and chief Water-Baylife over Floods and Streams, it foreshoweth, that Fishmongers (if they be not narrowly looked unto) shall go down as far as Gravesend in Wherries to forestall the Market, to the great prejudice of the poor, who all Lent long do partly rely on the benefit of Saltfish and red Herring. Moreover, it signifieth, that Brewers shall make havoc of Thames water, and put more liquor than they ought amongst their Malt; to the utter undoing of certain rednosed Ale-Knights, whose morning draughts of strong liquor, is a sufficient Baricado against cold weather; a lamentable case, if it be not looked into, and prevented by some special Supplication to the strong Coppernation, and worshipful Company of Ale-cunners. But in this we have great hope, that because the Effects cannot surpass the Cause, that diverse Tapsters shall trust out more in a moment, than they can get in, in a month; and although they fill their jugges with frothy emptiness, yet for want of true dealing shall they die in the Brewer's debt. Thus much for the watery Sign of Cancer: And because this Eclipse is like to play underboard, and to be little visible in our Horizon, though it will have great operation in it, I pass it over with this proviso to all Seafaring men, that they carry more shirts than one with them a Shipboard, left to their great labour they bestow many hours in searching slike-wormes on the hatches.  

Of the Eclipse of the Sun.  
THe Eclipse of the Sun, according to 
* A learned Author in the Antipodes.  Demogorgon's opinion, is like to produce many hot and pestilent infirmities, especially amongst Summoners and Pettifoggers, whose faces being combust with many fiery inflammations, shall prognosticate the scarcity (that by their devout drinking) is like to ensue of Barley, if violent surfeits sweep not away speedily such devouring Maultwormes.  
There are many also who are like to be troubled with such hot rheums in their heads, by walking the purlieus, that their hair shall fall off without the help of a 
* The Pocks▪ a sharp shaver.  Barber; and such hot agues shall reign this year, with strange fevers and calamities, that if Sol were not placed in a cold Sign, Rhenish wine would mount to ten-pences a Quart, before the latter end of August: But some few good and auspicious Planets being retrograde, foretelleth, that Lemen this year shall be plenty, insomuch that many shall use them to Bedward, for the qualifying of their hot and inflamed stomaches.  
By all conjectural arguments, the influence of Mars this year shall be so violent, that here in our Clime, great quarrels shall be stirred up between man and man, especially in cases of Law: 
* Muli se mutuò scabunt. Cic.  justice and Gentry shall connive with each other, and coin shall out-countenance the justest cause.  
The dissentious Corid●n shall sell his Coat to strive for a straw, and Lawyers laugh such fools out of their livings, as cannot keep their seditious spirits from wronging their neighbours.  
Further, there will be certain fond Sects of Religion, who are like to pester the Commonweal; as sanctimonious selfe-Conceiters, holy 
* White Devils.  Counterfeit, whose profession and practice dwell as far a sunder, as Dives did from Lazarus, when he cried out for water to cool his tongue; these, I say, shall bandy themselves against Ecclesiastical Authority, and be ready to outstare civil Government, were it not that Saturn with a frowning influence, did menace them with the strangling evil.  
But whereas the Sun is darkened but by digits, and that upon the South-points, it presageth great miseries to Southerly Countries; for there shall Friars and Monks, so heat themselves this year with confessing of Harlots, that their crowns shall grow bald of their own accord, to the utter impoverishing of all Barbers.  
Many brave Spirits, this year, and men of high merit, shall be so well respected, as that for their magnanimous achievements, they shall be recompensed with a 
* Date obolum Belisario, quim in●●dia, non ●utpa caec●uit.  Belisarian alms, and have the eyes of their Reputation, popped out by the infectious fingers of Envy and base Neglect, and so cast out of favour, as unworthy of humane society.  
Furthermore, let me not omit this remarkable Observation, that this Eclipse affordeth unto me: For this year there shall happen some strange Births of children, produced in an hideous and formidable shape, as thus: Some children shall be borne, that when they come to age, shall not know their own fathers: Others shall have their fingers of the nature of 
* Polypus, quicquid tetigit, tenet. Diog.  Lime-twigs, to get most part of their living with five and a reach: Some shall be borne with feet like Hares, who shall run so swift, as that they never shall tarry with any Master, but trudge from post to pillar, till they take up Beggers-bush for their lodging: Others shall have noses like Swine, that there shall not be a feast within a mile, but they will smell it out: But this is shroudly to be feared, that some women this year shall be borne with two tongues, to the terrible grief of those that shall marry them, thundering in their fury such 
* Caninam sacundiam exercent. Sallust.  rough-cast Eloquence that 
* 
No better hopes of a Scold.  
Aquad Pu●ice non postulanda.   Knave and Slave, shall be but Holiday words to their husbands; dropping as fast from their litigious lips, as oaths do from the chaps of a choleric Cook, against a long Sermon, (frying in his own grease) when his joints scorch, and are over roasted: of which rank or range of men I must confess, that some of them are already profane enough, if they could but once leave 
* A bad custom, hardly left.  swearing. And whereas this fearful Eclipse doth continue but an hour and an half, it fore signifieth, that this year, women's loves to their husbands shall be very short, and in some so 
* Mulier Lun● mutabilior.  mutable, that it shall scarce continue from the Church door to the wedding house: and that Hens, Capons, (Geese especially,) and Chickens, shall be banished from poor men's houses; and be fain to fly away with spits in their bellies to fat Churl's tables, whose paunches jut forth like an Alderman's dining room, or King Harry's Codpiece, in the Tower, with bombasting them with delicious Viands.  
Many other effects are to be prognosticated in the subsequent predictions; give me leave in the mean season, to lay in this Caution between my Countrymen, and this wonderful Eclipse: 
* 
No worse Counsel given, than I would be content to take myself.  
Frustrasapit, qui sibi non sapit, Eurip.   Let such as have clothes enough, keep themselves warm, for fear of taking cold; and I would wish rich men all this Winter to sit by a good fire, and seldom to go to bed without a Cup of Sack, and that so thickly qualified with Sugar, as they may not grow rheumatic. Let them take ease enough, and feed daintily, than no doubt, (consonant to the learned judgement of Albumazar) they are like to live as long as they can, and not die one hour before their time: But in special, let them take this premonition along with them; That they be drunk twice aweeke, and then (under pretence of taking 
* Too common a shift in these times, to cover the rich man's excess.  Physic) lie yawning two days after to evaporate the excess of a Surfeit; no matter, though the poor Caitiff lie starving in the streets without respect or pity.  
And thus have I led you through the adumbrageous Eclipse of the Sun.    

A PREDICTION OF THE GENERAL DISPOSITION OF SUNDRY CONCEITED QVALIties, incident unto men's minds and natures throughout the four quarters of the year, 1623. by the merry Influence of the Planets, with some other tragical Observations, comprised under each separated Revolution.  

Of Winter.  
WInter, the sworn Enemy to Summer, friend to none but Collier's, Chandelers and Woodmongers: The frostbitten Churl, that hangs his dropping nose still over the fire: the Dog that bites fruits, and the waste-good, that fells wood; the unconscionable binder up of Vintner's faggots, and the only consumer of burnt Sack and Sugar. This kinsman to Death, furtherer to Sickness, and brother to Old-age, shall not put forth his hoary Baldpate in this Climate of ours, according to our usual computation, upon the 12. of December, at the first entering of the Sun into the first minute of the Sign Capricorn, etc. With much more such fustian futility, than ever any reasonable man could truly understand; but take this from me, as an infallible rule, that Winter begins, when 
* Charitas laudatur, & alget.  Charity blows her nails, and is ready to stern, yet not so much as a drowsy Watchman will lend her a flap of his freeze Gown to keep her warm:  
When 
* Paid in their own coin; for Malo herclè▪ vestro, tam versutè vi●itis, Plaut.  Tradesmen shut up shops, by reason that their frozen-hearted Creditors exact more for days of trust, than they are able to raise (and play the Knaves too) out of their Commodities so taken up:  
When the price of Sea-coal riseth, and the rate of poor men's labours is pulled down:  
When every Chimney or rather Tobacco Pipe vomits out smoke, but scarce any door opens, to hurl out so much as a Marrowbone for a Dog to break his fast on:  
When Beasts die for want of fodder in the field, and men's 
* Molestus interpellator venture, Plaut.  bellies cry out, who are ready to famish for lack of food in the City:  
When the first word that a Punk speaks at her Ingles coming into her Chamber in a Morning, I pray thee send for some Faggots; and the cold comfort a Lawyer heats you withal, is to say; What will you give me?  
When Gluttons blow their pottage to cool them; and Prentices blow their nails to heat them: And lastly,  
When the 
* A hard time for Watermen.  Thames is covered over with ice, and men's hearts caked over, and crusted with Cruelty; then may any man boldly swear it is Winter.  
But let us wade a little further into the fountain of Infallibility, and then shall we find, that Winter this year, (being the first Astronomical Quarter, according to my conjectural Computation) whatsoever Ptolomee says, begins sooner with poor men, then with rich; and so granted; by the malignant influence of Saturn, whose constellation malevolent, portends; That such as have no money nor credit, shall want Coals and Wood, and be fain to beat their jaws one against another with cold, while your old peny-fathers' sit and toast themselves by the fire.  
And by reason that this Winter will begin, when Sol makes his entrance into the degree of Capricorn, that Hyemall solstitial Sign foreshows, that the Baker's basket shall give the wall to the Brewer's barrel; and an halfpenny dry, shall do homage to an halfpenny wet. The weather likewise shall be so unseasonably cold, that diverse for fear of being frost-bit, shall 
* Aleator, quanto est in arte peritior, tanto est nequior, Syr.  craftily sit all day at Cards and Tables, while their poor wives and families knock their heels, and fast at home for their thriftless follies.  
And for that I find, three of the Planets to be drenched in aquaticke Signs, as jupiter, Mars, and Luna, it plainly demonstrates; That diverse pretenders to good fellowship shall for want of strong Taplash, go sober to bed against their wills.  
That there shall be coagulated Frosts, so as upon small acquaintance men and women shall creep to bed together, and some of them lie so long, till they be fetched out with a Beadle, and a Basin.  
That Seafaring men (if they be not the better provided of skilful Pilots) shall either stick in the sands, or split their Ships against the sturdy Rocks, and so condemn them to the bottom; 
* Quicquid sclet nocers, ide●● solet docer●.  or else lose their goods by Piracy and Palliardise.  
Saturn falling retrograde in Gemini, shows, That there shall fall this Winter such tenebrous fogs, and stifling Mists, that many rich Chuffs shall lose their purses by the highways side; and poor men be so weatherbeaten by the unconscionable craft of 
* Qui infinity aucup●js emu●gunt pecuniant.  Vsureres, that they shall be forced to beg their bread by the extremity of such Extortion: But Mercury and Venus being congregated in Sagittarius, prognosticate; That for want of fair weather, such as have but one shirt, shall go wool-ward, till that be a washing; and that Watermen who want Fares, shall sit and blow their fingers, or lie in Alehouses till they be drunk, and then for want of better employment, baste one another with their unmerciful Stretchers.  
And for that Mars, that rugged Planet, hath no predominance in this Brumal Revolution, Soldiers for the more part, though their fare be hard, yet shall they lie in field beds, and not be too much molested neither with more money than shall be necessary:  
And it is greatly to be feared, that through extreme cold, diverse poor-men shall die not dine, at rich men's gates: Pity shall be exiled; Goodworkes thrust out of doors with jack-a-lent, and Hospitality whipped out of the Country as a relic of the old Religion; and were it not that some moist showers of Mercy shall mollify the obduration of the frost, Charity, should for want of houseroom lie and freeze to death in the heart of our highest Cities.  
Impetuous storms are this year to be expected, especially in houses where the wives wear the breeches; and such loud Winds, that the husbands shall be whurld out of doors; and withal there are like to fall huge Hailstones, as big as ioyn'd-stooles, that some shall be sure to have their crowns cracked, and all through the petulant disposition of Venus. But Mars shall come in, and play the tall man, who being placed in Gemini, that governs the arms and shoulders; and he presageth, that sundry tall fellows shall take heart of grass, who armed with sour Cudgels shall so Lambeake their irregular huswives, that the wind shall turn into another quarter, and so the weather wax more 
* Post nubila, Ph●bu●.  calm and temperate.  
Such superfluxe of waters are like to ensue, through this Hyemall distemperature, that many bold-braines shall be drowned on dry hills; and fish, if they could not swim, were in great danger totally to perish. Eels are like to be dear, if there be few or none taken: But plenty of Pouts shall be had in all places, especially in those Countries where women have not their own wills.  
Now (patient Reader) in respect of diverse particular circumstances drawn from the quotidian motions, progressions, stations, retrogradations, aspects, and other appointments of fixed and extravagant Stars, I am induced to declare, that such as have no fire, shall feel most cold; That Wier-drawers and Presse-men, if they follow not their work close, shall feel no great heat; and that Compositors, let them ply the Box never so fast, shall share a great part of extreme cold; and be 
* Stulti fortunati miser's contemnest.  laughed at for their labour.  
The distemperance of this Quarter, is like to breed sundry sicknesses as well in young as in old, proceeding either of vicious blood, or of the superabundance of inordinate guzzling; as 
* Catching diseases, that spare none who come in their walks.  Cephalagies, Quirimobs, or Whimsies in the head, that shall make men so dizzy, as that some shall stagger and stumble up and down the streets, till they have stolen a nap to settle their distempered Coxcombs.  
Aches in the shoulders shall be rife amongst diverse Women that have Knaves to their husbands; and diverse Drunken Sots shall be pestered with Surfeits.  
Maidens this Winter shall have strange 
* A malady as unavoidable, as incurable.  stitches and gripings about the girding place, which diseases principally will proceed, by their situation in Supinity: and many active men shall be troubled with such pain in their eyes, that they shall not 
* Wilful misprisions.  know their chamber maids from their own wives.  
Now because I find in the Ephemerideses of heaven, certain unlucky, critical, and dangerous days pointed out, whose foreheads are full of Plagues, and under whose wings do lurk other dismal calamities, that threaten this Region; it shall not be impertinent, if I open the foul bosom of Winter before he pass further, and show unto you what contagious maladies do hang upon him, and harbour within him. I find therefore, that a brown 
* Twelve strange plagues to happen this year.  dozen of inevitable plagues, shall heavily light on the heads and hearts of this our English Nation; and thus I bring them out in orderly rank:  
1. 
Plague of Poverty.  The first, is the plague of 
* Animi generosi neruos egestas execat.  Poverty, When a man has never a penny in's purse, credit with his neighbours, nor a hole to hide his head in: Alas! how many will lie languishing of this frenzy? how many that haunt Bowling alleys, and fill up Playhouses with their infection; nay, how many that stalk in the middle-Ile of Paulcs in indifferent good clothes too, will be struck with this Plague? It is harder to reckon them, then to sum up the virtues of a wand'ring woman which are numberless.  

Plague of Discontent.  2. The second, is the Plague of Discontent; when a husband shall find cold cheer, and hot words, from a scolding wife: Many Cobblers will be subject to this disease; yet they will not lie long upon it, but every hour be of the mending hand; marry it is supposed, their wives will prove worse and worse.  

Plague of Contention.  3. The third, is the Plague of Contention: when a Traveller hath a long journey, a tired horse, and a little money: This Plague will meet with many poor Yorkshire Clients; and (unless they keep it off with their hooks) with some Welshmen too.  

Plague of Deceit.  4. The fourth, is the Plague of Deceit; when a man hath fraudulently congested heaps of riches, enjoys it but a while, and leaves a fool behind him to spend it: It is to be feared, that some wealthy Citizens, and quirking Lawyers cannot escape this Plague.  

Plague of Extortion.  5. The fifth, is the Plague of Extortion; when a man is grown old in years, yet a child in goodness; when his wife is a Drunkard, and his daughter a wanton, his son a Lecher, and his servant a pilferer: This Plague is sure to shake hands with exacting Usurers, and extorting Landlords; but chiefly with Brokers, their bodies being subject to many infections, and their Consciences to much corruption. So that it is thought, Lord have mercy upon us, will stick on most of the doors in Hounds-ditch and Long-lane: and that all people who love themselves, for honesty sake, will shun those places, and those persons, whereof but one of them is sufficient to poison a whole City.  

Plague of Lust.  6. The sixth, is the hot Plague of Lust: when a Maid is fair, and hath no portion; of ripe years, yet troubled with the Green-sickness; and longs for a husband, yet Nobody will have her. This Plague will tickle poor Chambermaids, and though it fall hard upon them, yet will it not prove so mortal, because they have a trick to help themselves: It is to be suspected, that some Citizens daughters will be tainted too, unless they take a private receipt against it, of their father's Prentices: Young Gentlewomen likewise would hardly escape, were it not that the Gentleman-ushers, and smooth-faced Pages, must stand between them and infection.  

Plague of Marriage.  7. The seventh, is the Plague of Marriage: when a woman possesseth a husband that is very poor, yet jealous: young, yet a choleric fool. Seruingmen wives (it is thought) will turn up their heels of this Disease; or if not die, yet lie for it a long time.  

Plague of Debt.  8. The eight, is the Plague of Debt: when a man hath much to pay; little to discharge, and an unmerciful Creditor. This Plague (I fear me) will fly as far as Bohemia, and pitifully pester our English Soldiers, who will take more care how to wipe off the Rundles in chalk, then to win a Town from the enemy.  

Plague of Hunger.  9 The ninth, is the Plague of Hunger: when a man sees or smells good cheer, and hath an excellent stomach, but knows not how to get it: if any complain of this malady, it will be those that are the attendants at a scamling feast, or else, such as walk snuffing up and down in Winter Evenings through Pie-corner, yet have not one cross to replenish their pasterns.  

Plague of Prodigality.  10. The tenth, is the Plague of Prodigality: when a man marrying a Wagtail, and letting her out to the full length of her own Lust, Pride and Pleasure; must thereby be beholden to his enemy, must honour him, that horns him, yet dares not be revenged: The tokens of this Plague will stand thick on a number of young Bankrupts, who have had dealing with Courtiers.  

The Horn-Plague.  11. The eleventh, is the Horn-plague: It will be too common both in Court, City, and Country: and albeit, it be incurable, yet none can die of it: this aching Plague takes a man first in the head, and he must needs sicken of it, that is either a Cuckold, a Wittol, or a Suffragatour. In very many streets (besides Cheapfide and the Strand) will there be houses contaminated with this monstrous disease.  

Plague of Ingratitude.  12. The twelfth, is the fearful Plague of Ingratitude: when a man hath much wealth, and no wisdom; much coin and no conscience; continual health, and no grace to return thanks unto him that bestows it on him: when he talks of God, yet keeps company with the devil. This Plague strikes deep, even to the wounding of the Soul, and yet sticks by many, even of the better sort: Besides these capital Plagues, there be many Boyles, Carbunkles, and Blisters of Impieties, that will lie sucking the bones of common people, which I omit.  
Thus may you discover a far off, how sharp a Winter we are like to have: let us now make trial if the Spring will look upon our Horizon with a more favourable aspect, or accost us with a more cheerful salutation.  
Exit Hiems.   

Of the Spring.  

Description of the Spring.  NExt enters upon her Cuckoe, that odoriferous Lady Ver, or the Spring, attended with all her Attributes of Honour: For she is the Bride of the Sun, the Nosegay-giver to weddings, the richest Hearbe-wife in the world: the rarest Gardener, sweetest Perfumer, cunningest Weaver, purest Dyer, and noblest Musician; for all the Choristers of the Groves are her Scholars: This mother of health, Physician to the sick, Surgeon to the wounded; this daughter of Plenty, and sister to Summer, comes not attired in her verdant robes, as by Poets and Printers she is published, upon the tenth day of March, after the Sun (with an Herculean Vigour) hath conquered his twelve Labours, and like a skilful Charioteer) hath hurried his golden Wagon through the twelve Signs, ready again (as some will have it) to begin his task afresh, by making his entrance upon the first Minute of the Equinoctial Sign of the Ram, whose horns stand in such an even proportion a sunder, as that the Day and Night take them for their measure, and are contented to be of an equal length.  

Reformation of bad manners, is the propagation of a good Spring.  Shall I tell you then at what Sign the Spring dwelleth at? turn up your eyes and behold; for by these marks shall you know her, when she comes: When Philomele sits singing with a briar at her breast, and the Adulterer stands sighing at the thorns which prick his Conscience: When young tears of Repentance 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Liveries, and Old Whoremongers pluck off the Vizars of their Vices: when the bigbellied Earth bears all kinds of flowers, and the 
* O 〈◊〉  Conrts of Princes bring forth all sorts of Virtues: When Gardens begin to be dressed, and abuses in the Church reform: When Lords leave falsifying their promises, and Ladies leave sophisticating their faces: When Courtiers pay their debts, and Citizens surcease to sell counterfeit Wares: When Players turn Preachers, and Poets carry money in their purses: When Lawyers plead without Fees, and Tailors carry true Bills to their Customers: When Usurers give all they have to the poor, and Brokers lend money without pawns: When Vintners do not mix their Wines, nor Tapster's froth up their lugges: When Ostlers leave greasing of Horse's teeth, and Chamberlains forbear to lie with Country Wenches: When Beasts wax wanton by nature, without violating her Laws, only to multiply their kind for the good of man; and when men abhor to change themselves into the nature of Beasts: Then, and only then shall the vernal gates fly wide open; then may you boldly swear, it is the Spring.  
But as the 
* S●pè dissident ab animis gratu●antium vultus.  slickest horse may have the slowest pace, and oftentimes the fairest 
* Atterá ●anu ●ert aquam, ulter●, ignem, Plutare.  Brow may have the foulest Body, so this beautiful daughter of old janus, who is Master Porter to the twelve Months, by dealing with some few unsalubrious Planets, is thought not to be free from diseases. A spice therefore of one Plague or other, will lie in her tender bones, by which means this Spring to some people (especially the French, and I fear the English cannot go Scot-free) will prove as fatal, and as busy in privy Searches, as the fall of the Leaf▪  
The Dugs of this delicate young bed fellow to the Sun, will so flow with the milk of Profit and Plenty; that (of all other) Some Players (if 
* Praestat fortunatum, qu●● sapere.  Fortune, turned Phoenix, fail not of her promise) will lie sucking at them with their fulsome forcasting, for pence and twopences, like young 
* Aurisacra fames, quid non mortalia pect●ra coget? Virg.  Pigs at a Sow newly farrowed, for that they are in danger to meet with a hard Winter, and be forced to travel softly on the hoof.  
It is conjectured likewise, That in this time of coalition between the Planets and the Earth, Lawyers will grow up so thick, as that they will scarce live 
* But one step lower than Impossibility.  honestly one by another; and most of them shall prove to their Clients, as tares to a field of Corn: for they shall prosper best when they choke those by whom they were nourished: yet on the contrary side, shall Maidenheads be so scant, that if 
* Lust, like death, sweeps all before it.  two hundred be to be had overnight, one hundred ninety and nine of them will be struck off before the next Morning.  
Notwithstanding all this, I find, that Winter finishing with the last grave of the watery Sign Pisces, at Sols joyful Progress into the first degree of Aries, then must the Spring needs march up in the next rank, and show her face 
* An infallible sign of the Springs approach.  when grass begins to sprout, and trees to bud. By which I gather, That this Spring will be very ill for Scholars for they shall study much, and gain little: They shall carry more wit in their pates, then white. ●ney in their purses. 
* Rebus Immanis, ordine nullo, fortuna regit, spargitque manu m●nera c aeca pejora fovens, Sen.  Dunces shall prove more wealthy than Doctors; insomuch that sundry unlettered sots shall screw themselues into the Ministry, if the provident care of reverend Bishops do not justle them aside. And by the opinion of Proteus, 
* Plent, rident, sapiunt, insaniunt, etc.  women are like to grow wilful, and so variable, that they shall laugh and weep, chide and chat, and all with a breath.  
Butcher's shall sell their meat as dear as they can, and if they be not careful, horns shall be hurtful unto them: and some shall be so wedded to swine's flesh, that they shall never be without a Sow in their house as long as they live.  
This vernal Revolution being naturally hot and moist, is like to be very forward for flowery fields and blooming trees: and because Saturn will reside in his proper mansion, Old men are like to be very wayward, and crafty Scriveners (or 
* Error ex amore, non ex more.  Knaves, all is one) shall need no Brokers: Usury, shall be called, good Husbandry; and men shall be esteemed honest for their wealth, not for their 
* Quarenda pecunia primum est, virtus post numnos. Horat▪  Virtues. And because Aquarius must keep some levell-coile this Quarter, it is to be doubted that many Springs of water will rise up in Vintners Sellars, to the great weakening of their Gascoine Wine, and to the utter dissolution of the ancient Order of the Red-noses. March Beer shall also be more set by, then small Ale.  

Multiplicity of Sects, dangerous to a State.  Out of the Old Stock of Heresy, it is to be expected this Spring, will sprout forth new schismatical Opinions, and strange Sects, as Separatists, Armanists, with other exotic Niceties and Balductum diseases, to the disturbance of the unity of the Church, and disquieting of good men's consciences: but I could wish, that the learned Doctor, Sir T. Tyburn might be put to that task, as to confute such upstart Statists, with his roperipe conclusions.  
Because Cancer will be busy this Springtide, it is therefore likely, that the flourishing blossoms of young vnstayed Gentlemen, shall be so unmercifully annoyed with Caterpillars, who shall entangle them in such Statutes and Recognizances, that they shall cry out against Brokers, as jeremy did against the false Prophets. Besides, though this last Winter nipped up many Pick-pockets, yet this Spring is like to afford twice as many; so thant at every 
* Read me a Riddle, what's this?  Term shall be found an Hundred at least in Westminster-Hall.  
Barber's also shall become poulers of the Commonwealth; and latronical Lease-mongers, pillars of their poor Tenants.  
Mercury combust shall so set men together by the ears, that many Lawyers shall grow rich, get the Devil and all, no matter 
* Si L●●nina pellin non suffi●ie, vulpina add●nda, Zenod.  how; and wear side gowns, and widé Consciences; still keeping their mouths open to call for a feeling, and their purses shut, when they should bestow an alms. Ostlers shall steal Hay in the night from gentlemen's horses, and rub their teeth with tallow, that they may eat little provender while they stand at Livery: but this I prognosticate against them, that being extruded from humane society, they shall die in haylofts, and that so poorly too, as all their wealth shall scarce purchase them Christian burial.  

* Wonderful events premonstrated.  But let me not hide these secrets from you (my Countrymen) that jupiter, being in mild aspect with Venus, discovereth; which are; That diverse shall drink more than they bleed; That Tailors shall steal nothing but what is brought unto them: That Poulterers shall be stinkingly pestered with rotten Eggs; and that Butcher's dogs shall make Libels against Lent, for affording no better diet than Herring-cobs, for their slabbring Chaps.  
Other diseases incident to this Quarter, as by Astrological Conjectures I can gather, are these▪ 
Discovery of diseases.  Prentices that have been sound cudgeled shall be troubled with a soreness on their shoulders; and it shall be very ill for them that have sore eyes to have sand thrown in them, or to look against the Sun. This plague shall reign mightily amongst poor stage-keepers, that they shall not be able to change a groat for a box o'th' ear. Beside, sick folks shall have queasier stomaches, than those that be sound: and men that cannot sleep, shall take very little rest: with other accidental infirmities, which for brevity sake I am content to flurre over.   

A Prediction of Summer, 1623.,  

Description of Summer.  NOW steps in the Minion of the year, Summer: the Mistress of the earth, daughter and heir to the Spring, and Empress over many Kingdoms; whose robes are fields of standing corn; whose crown is a garland playted of all varieties of fruits. Summer, the poor man's Almoner, and the rich man's Landlady: the Ploughman's Gods to whom he prays, the shepherd's Queen to whom he does homage: the filler of Barnes, the feeder of Birds, the fatner of men and beasts, the world's Magazine, the Nurse of Plenty, the sworne-enemy to dearths and scarcity. Summer, that's the Saint, to whom Bowyers, and fletcher's kneel; in whose praise, Archers send out shouts, and Haymakers merry Songs.  
This red-lipt, liuely-faced, rosy-fingered Damsel, comes not by turn to her Coronation, on the Eleventh day of june, according to vulgar Astronomical computation, when the Sun hath fetched his career up as high, as the first degree of the Estivall Solstice (Cancer,) which is the utmost declension from the North to the Equinoctial, etc. but I find that she hath forsaken those celestial houses, wherein she did use to lie, in her illustrious progress, and hath taken up her lodging in sublunary Mansions, from whence she must issue: And these that follow shall be the Harbingers, to make way, or the Heralds to proclaim her coming.  

* Entrance of Summer.  When our exuberant, though superannuated Grandam (the Earth) shall (albeit in her days of morosity) be great with child of Corn, Flowers, and Fruits, and be joyfully delivered of them; yet that 
* Non est dig●●● dandis, qui non agit grates pro datis, Greg in Moral.  ungrateful creature, enriched with Reason only, shall be barren of all goodness:  
When the heat of the Sunbeams begets Gold in the Veins of the Earth, yet Gold when it is brought forth, shall beget a coldness in the hearts of men:  
When Rivers shall swell with Springtides, and the fountains of Learning be drawn dry; and stopped up with the rubbish of Disreputation. When sheep hurry to broad trees, to shroud their carkeises under their shades from the wrath of Heaven, and when Innocence is protected under the wings of Greatness, from the fury of Oppression:  
When Cuckoo's sing merrily; and Cuckolds laugh at their own horns:  
When Courtiers ride the Wild-goose chase; and Farmers stand by, and never curse their Horsemanship.  
When Haruesters come singing from the field, because their corn is bound up in sheaves; and when Citizen's Wives walk to their Gardens, yet bring from thence to their husbands no Nosegays bestucke with Columbines:  
These, and many other like these, are the Badges that Summer wears; and never comes, but when she puts on these and such like Liveries: yet for all this, that Original curse which at first was laid upon her, shall this year 1623. so crush her beautiful structure, insomuch that her lusty and neruall limbs shall grow weak, and her entrailes be ready to dry and rumple up to nothing, by reason of a strange famine, which shall most unmercifully feed upon her.  
divers dear years have crept out of the Chronicles of precedent ages, to show their visages to this present time, but the face of this shall look more grizly than them all. In the time of 
* Holinshed cum multis aliis.  Edward the second there was such a famine, that horseflesh than was accounted as dainty, as Hares-flesh now; and fat 
* O quantum cogit egestas!  Dogs snapped up as fast then, as fat Pigs are now with us at Bartlemewtide; for that Oxen and Sheep, and other provisions, were drawn up to such an excessive rate, as that people of the meaner rank could not reach unto it. But this year, 1623. Oxen and Calves shall not be sold so dear in Smithfield; men shall be sold as cheap: nay men shall turn 
* Homo homini lupus.  Omophagi, and devour one another. Country Gentlemen shall eat up the industrious Farmers: Citizens, the Country Gentlemen: Courtiers, the Citizens: Lease-mongers, their Tenants: the devil, the Lease-mongers. The Shopkeepers, or crafty-handed men, shall feed on the handicrafts men: Lawyers shall swallow their Clients, and many of them be suddenly choked, with a bad Cause sticking cross their throats: And Usurers shall cram down young Heirs, as if they were pickled green Geese, or baked Woodcocks.  
But here Albumazar steps in with a cross-point to counterbuff mine opinion, and he will needs affirm: That when the Sun hath made his voyage through the germinall Signs, Aries, Taurus, and Gemini, and takes up his Inn at the solsticiall estival Sign Cancer, then shall the third part of the year, called Summer, begin his reign: But I positively conclude, (and to maintain the Proverb, will have mine own saying,) That 
* An infallible rule to know when Summer begins.  Summer begins, when the weather waxeth so hot, that beggars scorn Barnes, and lie in the fields; and the night-crows of Saint Pancrace-church, build their nests under the shades of Colman-hedge, or the new found vaulting School adjacent.  
This Quarter therefore will prove so immoderately hot, that diverse Mechanickes shall hurl their cloaks into Hounds-ditch, doff their 
* Cantabit v●e●us coram ●●●rom pota●●r.  doublets and dam them in Debt-lane; and walk in their Waistcoats and greasy apernes, for nimblenesse-sake, for that they must trudge to provide a calling-card for their inflamed Livers. And by reason that the flammigerous, and fire-foming Dog-star shall snuff up the Planets, and with his flaring tongue, lick up the grass off the tops of hills, parch the corne-fields, sear the low-layd Valleys, and dye the face of Ceres as tawny as a Gypsies, all Tobacco-shops shall smoke for it; but especially the Katherine-wheele, 
* An honest man, is his own praiser.  where (by the confluence of Kind-hearts) shall be found these three 
* Contentus in pace bibere▪  Contentments: Great Pipes, Good Tobacco, and gentle Usage.  
If this year, Aquarius piss freely after quaffing, then at the Sign of the Cerulean-coloured savage Boar, shall, (this year,) be had for ready money, all sorts of precious Waters; as your Aquafrigida, refecta, calida, colorata, limpida, luctuosa, fucosa, feculenta, potabilis, portabilis, utilis, futilis, Bumme, Hum, and Hawberna: The which Hawberna, (as it is reported by a famous, and fumous 
* Radulphus Brutus. Iseldonius.  Historian) the great Duke of Moscow drinks of, but upon Festivals: for if he should drink it daily, the revenues of his whole Empire could not maintain it.  
But because that Vrsa-maior shall be auspiciously inclined to Homogeneal Congruity, and similiancie of condition, by his appointment shall 
* Or; the white Bear.  Vrsa-minor be unmuzzled, and blurt out more 
* Because stopped with Cork.  lightheaded Bottle-beare then half Barbican; the which being once let loose, will furiously fly in any man's face; nay, if he gape, to gallop down into his guts too: but being discharged, if it happen to bounce or hit against a Goodfellows nose, it will hiss like a Snake bathing in the Sun under the skirts of a Grove, or as Oil poured down upon an overheated Anuile. Bottle-ale likewise shall be as busy as a foolish Constable; and mad-brained Malt, shall be ready to do the offices of a knavish 
* Sic figulus figulum, sic Faber fabrum odit  Beadle against meal-mouthed Wheat. Of purpose to entertain the Sun's glorious return from the Antipodes, innocent morefield's shall this Quarter be clothed all in white: For the shirts of Masters, the smocks of Maids; the smocks of Mistresses, and the shirts of servants, shall be there so 
* A fearful confusion to happen this Summer in moorfield's.  promiscuously laid together, that it would almost make a sinner of a Saint to behold them: And (three to one) if they dare lie so near together abroad, they will venture to lie closer when they are at home; as questionless they do, when (being folded up) they lie one upon another: so that this is the forcible occasion, that will stir up shirts and smocks to 
* Citizens, old smel-smocks.  s; mell after each other; or at least wise, shirts to smell after smocks all the year after.  
Mercury, moreover, hath so constituted, that those who are drunk overnight will be dry in the morning: those that bepiss their beds shall be 
* Optimum est pati, quod cmendare non potes, Sen. Epi. 4. lib. 18.  vexed with Fleas; and such as want meat, and have no 
* Feras non culpes, quod vit●ri non potest.  money to buy it, shall be very likely to go supperless to bed.  
Besides, this Quarter, great hurly-burlyes are to be expected, and horrible Stratagems like to be performed: for Butchers shall make unmerciful havoc amongst Flies, and Beggars on Sunshine days shall commit monstrous murders upon their never-ceasing bloodsuckers. The Assistants like wise of Copersmiths-hall shall do mighty deeds of arms upon Cups, Cans, Pots, Glasses, and Blew-anckour jacks; not giving over the skirmish as long as they are able to stand, or wag a finger.  
Further it is to be doubted, that because Venus sojourns in the house of Mars; That Miller's, Weavers, and Tailors, will prove as thievish, as they are knavish: and Maids this Quarter will make sillibubbes for their Lovers so long, till at the length some of them calf with the Cow for company. But jupiter in his exaltation presageth, that diverse 
* Semelenbidi, decies pallidi▪ Suidas.  Gallants shall creep further into the Mercer's book in a month, than they can get out in a year. If there be such excessive plenty of Cherries this Quarter, that Fruterers know not what to do with them, they perchance may fall to sixe-shillings the pound: and Costermongers this Summer shall be licenc'd by the Wardens of their Hall, to wear broad baskets on their heads, to keep them from the heat of the Sun.  
But Libra adust, and retrograde, foretelleth, that there is like to be a League between diverse Bakers and the Pillory, for making their bread too light; and the Sun shall be so hot, that it shall melt away the 
* Qu● plus sunt pota, plus sitiunt●r aqua.  dropsy consciences of covetous men; & that by the amorous aspects of Venus, residing in the lodge of Scorpio, women shall fall so lovesick, that civil Lawyers; Summoners, & Surgeons shall feed upon their sins, and fare the betby them all their life time after; and beside diverse of these Lying spirits shall be seen to stand in white sheets like Ghosts, in Churches, of purpose to affright such like offenders.  
But by the way learn this of me, That Shoemakers will grow so proud, that they shall refuse the name of Souters: And the Tailor and the Louse shall stand so upon the point, in defence of each other; That were it not, the worshipful Company of Butchers have set down this Order; That he who lies a bed, till his clothes be mended, needs not keep a man to look to his Wardrobe. But amongst all, the 
* Necessary Impositions on Pot-hunters.  Smiths have exhibited a Supplication to the Ale-cunners, That he who goes drunk to bed, and as soon as he wakes i'th' morning, dares not carouse a hearty draught next his heart, shall be adjudged to drink small Ale for his penance, provided he can get no strong.  
Consonant to the variation of this Season, shall variable diseases be predominant; as namely, the 
* In omnibus rebu● magis offendit nimium, quam parùm, Cicero.  Pleurisy, which shall so abound in many, that in ill, they shall exceed their pattern, though in goodness they fall short of their sampler. Fluxes also, and those in poor men's purses; for they shall be so laxative, that money shall run out faster, than they are able to put in. The small Pocks amongst children, and the great amongst 
* Cum magnis, magna cresennt.  great men: Infirmities also in the tongue; for some shall do nought but lie, and oftentimes with those they should not.  
But because we would not swelled, and wax faint, under the heat of this unseasonable Summer, let us make haste out of it, and descend to the next Quarter, to make trial what benefits that will participate unto us.    

Of Autumn or the Fall of the Leaf.  

Description of the fall of the Leaf.  AVtumnus, the chief Barber to the right Honourable Lord Annus, that mad shaver of Bushes, Hedges, and Trees: the ragged Prodigal that consumes all, and leaves himself nothing: the arrantest Ragamuffin amongst all the four Quarters, and the most diseased, as being always troubled with the Falling-sickness, and (Frenchman like) not suffering an hair to stay on his head. This murderer of the Spring, this thief to Summer, and bad companion to Winter, scorns to come in according to his old wont, when the Sun sits justice with a pair of scales in her hand, weighing no more hours to the day, than he does to the night, as he did before in his Vernal progress, when he road on a Ram: But this 
* 
Dominatur ut in grege Taurus, Liu.  
Quod non potest, vult posse, qui nimium potest.   Bald pate will be seen walking up and down Groves, Gardens, Meadows, Fields, Woods, Parks and Pastures, 
* 
Dominatur ut in grege Taurus, Liu.  
Quod non potest, vult posse, qui nimium potest.   blasting of fruits, beating leaves from their livings; and trampling the gaudy garments of his Sister, the Spring, under his feet.  

Signs of his coming.  By these tokens also shall you perceive his approach, when the World looks like the old Chaos; and the Ground, like a young Prodigal, new shorn by an Usurer: when Lust rides to the Barb, and is at great charge with Cornelius to keep him company: when Luxury flies amongst Hen-sparrowes, and brings not half the feathers home he carried out: when 
* Lust, it's own punisher.  Whoredom crawls along with a staff in his hand, saddle-sunke Nose on his face, and a nightcap, in stead of hair, on his naked scalp: when Bawds cry out of their bones; Punks, pray for the morning; and Panders put off their Calves with their stockings when they go to bed▪ when many Great Ones cry, Oh, with a pox to them; and some too, who would be entitled, Gentlemen; shall not be able to lift their Arms, to show them.  
But all these are the fond fancies of Aesoulapius, whose judgement in these kinds I would be loath to embrace. Therefore mine opinion is, (and that must carry it) That this Tatterdemalian Autumn, (whom Physicians call, The fall of the Leaf, and the Farmers Harnessed,) begins to show his ill-favoured face, 
* True entrance of Autumn.  when co●●e is ripe, and calls to be reaped, and when the sins of men are shot up to that height, as that they cry out for the sickle of God's vengeance to cut them down▪  
When the issue of the Earth are disrobed of all their Verdure's, and the brood o● man stipt naked of all their Virtues:  
When Greatness sits pruning her feathers, (and those borrowed too) in the Sunshine of Reputation, and Goodness be fain to lie skulking in the shadow of Contempt:  
When Flattery is every Lord's fellow in the 
* Exeat aula qui vult esse piu●.  Court, and Honesty is forced to go a begging in in the Country, because the City will not entertain her:  
When Cousnage shall Foxlike, be cooped and chained up in the dark corners of Sale-man's shops, and upon advantage, be let loose on the buyer, to gnaw out the bowels of his purse, and yet he never feel it.  
When Churches shall be empty of sound-hearted professors, and Alehouses crammed full of 
* Vbiregnat Ebrieta●▪ ibi exulat Ratio.  bestial and pernicious Pot-suckers▪  
When Murder shall be held but manly revenge, and the main act of manslaughter, made but the light Scene of mans-laughter:  
When Usury shall be termed Thrift, and Lechery, a tolerable trick of youth: Extorsion, wary husbandry; Pride, comeliness; and Drunkenness, a laudable recreation.  
When Hypocrisy gets on the gabbardine of 
* Quod simile Vero est, pess●mum est mendacium, Quint. D●cl. 11.  Sanctity, to go to Church in on a Sabbath day, where he will sit sighing at a Sermon, and turn up his eyes, as though he would shoot them through the Church's roof into Heaven; and being returned home, falls to an undigested seeming-devout prayer, and that so loud too, as his 
* Aliud palàm agere, aliud clam, dedecet probos. Plin. lib. 4.  neighbours round about may hear him: yet nevertheless, all the week after will practise no worse, then to lie for advantage, falsify his promise, filch himself drunk, if he can catch it a free-cost, traduce his neighbour secretly, defraud his friend, and then fliere in his face:  
When children shall fling up oaths and execrations against the face of heaven, in the streets, and their Parents sit laughing at their doors, to hear them so forward of their tongues:  
When 
* Qui scel●●is parcit, o●nes perditum it bon●s, Sallust.  justice is so troubled with the palsy in her hand, that when she is to poise her balance, she makes a solid cause seem light, and a light cause, he avie and downe-waight; and when she heaves her sword, and strikes more out of rage then right; madman like, wounding those that stand nearest unto her.  
When the grafs of Grace lie stark deadened in the hearts of men, and Goodness is excluded from humane society.  
These, with a supernumerary multitude of the same breed, shall be the undoubted signals of the Fall of the Leaf, or rather of the final dissolution and desolation of this wide, wild, and wicked Universe.  
But for the nature of this Autumnal Revolution, because it begins in Libra, I find, That Grocers, Chandler's, and such like, shall use little weights in their public Shops, and lesser measures in their private Chambers: That Knaves shall wear smocks, and Women have Warrens in their hearts, that as fast as Love creeps in at one hole, it runs out at another.  
Yet Leo, being an igniferall Sign, foreshoweth; That divers men shall wear their teeth longer than their 
* Monstrum horrendum, inform, ingens, quo crinis ademptus.  Beards, and some shall be so Sunne-burnt with sitting in the Alehouse, that their noses shall Match like, light a Candle. Others shall for want of money pawn their Cloaks, and stalk mannerly in their hose and Doublets. Some also this Quarter shall have barns, yet want corn to fill them with.  
Rye, this Quarter shall be common and plentiful every where, and Knaves shall have licence to sell it by the mouthful: and he that will not spend a penny with his friend, by the counsel of 
* One of the learned Doctors of the Labour-in-●ains.  Drinkalius, shall be thrust choir out of all good Company for a Hoggrubber.  
It may be doubted, that some uncouth maladies will be obvious & obnoxious this quarter: as Hollowness of the heart, so as one shall hardly know a Knave from an honest man: lingering * Consumptions also of the liver, that diverse men 
Plutus claudus est, cum accedit, cum recedit aliger. Lucian in Timone.  of good wealth shall (by the persuasion of their kind hearts) spend all, and die bankrupts: Some shall be troubled with suffocations in their throats, which cannot be helped, unless Brandon the hang man, play the skilful Chirurgeon. Amongst the rest, many that have wives with fair faces, and soul hearts, shall be troubled with an invisible swelling in their brows; a mischievous Malady as incurable, as unavoidable. Some shall be troubled with the Stone, and seek to cunning women to assuage the fury of that disease; an infirmity easily cured, were it not, that the Doctors of Bridewell did punish such feminine Physicians by a Statute. But the most grievous disease that is to be feared, is the * Cataphalusie 
An uncouth Malady never known before.  (that is) when good fellows (for want of money) shall oft times be contented to break up company.  
Thus far have you heard of imminent Plagues, Famines, and Diseases, that hang in the tumerous clouds, every minute striving to burst out, and fall upon our criminal Coxcombs; Misfortunes are not borne alone, but like married fools they come in couples. Now must a civil War march at the heels of these bypast miseries, and in this variable Quarter will he first strike up his Drum at 
* Strange calamities to seize on Westminster.  Westminster: who in the beginning thereof, shall lie sick of a long Vacation, and being enraged with the furious operation of this disease, she buffets her own cheeks, tears her hair, and would drink her own heartblood in the anguish of her soul. Then sits she like a 
* Proh dolor binc lachryme!  Widow in the midst of her mourning; then do her goodly Buildings look like infected Pest-houses, from whence the Inhabitants are fled: then are her Chambers empty, and her common paths untrodden. Thus shall the beginning of the Fall of the leaf trouble her, insomuch that she feels the state of her body very weak, and liable to infirmities: for these Cankerworms, called Vacations, corrode her carcase, and then leave it in a long and wasting consumption, more grievous to her memory, than the coming on of a tedious Winter's night to a man tormented with sickness, or a marriage delayed, to those that lie sighing for the delights thereof.  
But now note with me, how suddenly the 
Tem●ora temporibus mutantur tristia laetis: Succedunt ●ummis, gaudia sun▪ ma malis.  stream of her sorrow is * turned another way: for just in the neck of this, shall come in the Meditullium, or middle part of this interchangeable season, and bring her Balm to cure her fore-received wounds; and that's the Law, (which lies in atevery Vacation) who is brought a bed four times a year, and delivered of four sons, that is, the four Terms; one of which comes to visit her: At whose first sight, her heart leaps Lanoltoes in her bosom; Now shall 
Character of her excescessive joy.  ye see her as * jocund, as a damsel fast folded in the embracements of her Lover: now shall her cheeks look red, with an high and Iusty colour, for she will wash them in Wines: now shall her Tenants sleep securely, for they will drink sound: now dares she talk * any thing, for she 
Quid non?  has the Law on her side: now shall her Inhabitants be contented to take cracked crowns, though at another time, they would go near to stab him, that should but play with their noses.  

Description of a well-customed Tavern.  Now shall Vintners be as busy, as Bees in a Hive; for as Bees fly from one flower to another to suck out Honey, so shall the Drawers leap from one Hogshead to another to let out Wines. In every room are the Pottle-pots working, to bring in gains to their Master, as the other labour to bring forth Wax for their Hives. The stings which should be placed in their tails, are brought in their tongues, to those that at the end of Cup-emptying, are summoned 
Qui bibit, solua●, is Tavern law.  to the * Bar for a reckoning; for none but men of Reckoning can there be entertained: now the Drones, are such, as guzzle down that, which would do others good, yet hurt themselves.  
Neither shall Taverns alone fall into this profitable and healthful sweeting * sickness: but 
Morbus utilis, non eget medicamme bono.  all other Trades, Occupations, Mysteries, and Professions, shall row up and down this Springtide stream of business: and such good draughts shall they have, that all shall prove Fish that come into their nets.  
Besides, in the open streets shall be such walking, such talking, such running, such riding, such clapping too of windows, such rapping at Chamber-doores, such rattling of pen and Inkhorns, such rustling of Buckram-bags, such bawling for Provant, such calling upon Shots, and such ruffling of stuff Gowns, that at this time, some shall verily think themselves in a Town of War, and it shall truly fall out so to be.  
For in the height and heat of this irregular combustion, shall a most heavy, black, and 
Tanto be●●o, innocens, ac noxius iuxta cadit. Tacit. lib. 1. Anual. cap. 48.  bitter * conflict happen (if the Stars do not gull me) between Lawyers, and their Clients; and Westminster-hall shall be the field where it shall be tried out: what thundering, what thumping, what threatening, what mustering, what marching, what Baricadoing, what countermuring, what wheelings, what windings, what summoning to parlays, what defiances will there be racketed on either side? dismal shall this expedition be to some, deadly to others, and joyful to a third sort. It is not yet doomed by the 
Palma in medio posita est, accipiat qui potest, Terent.  Metaphysical Moderators, on whose side the * victory will fly, but by all metempsychosical conjectures, it is thought the Lawyers will carry away the day, be it but with wrangling: For those that go armed with Buckram-bagges, in stead of Muskets; with Pen and Inkhorns by their sides, in stead of Touchboxes, and shoot nothing but Paper-pellets, shall have those in terrible execution, * who match with black 
Weakest go to the walls.  Boxes at their girdles, and white Bills in their hands.  
And albeit, it go hard on either side overnight, or that the one part be put to the worse, yet the next morning, shall there be siding into Factions; * Lawyer, against Lawyer; Client against 
Lis lit●m parit, Phocylid.  Client, and all of them endeavour to reassume fresh courage and magnanimity. Then shall these men of Law march again into the Hall, as it were to the field: The Councillors shall be the Leaders, Atturnyes, & Clerks, petty Commanders, and Officers of both the Armies: the trained old weatherbeaten Soldadoe's, shall be those that have followed the Law a long time, and by brabbles have made themselves, and their families Beggars: The freshwater Soldiers, shall be those, as were but the last Term embarked in the Action.  

En quo discordia cives, perduxit miser●●! Virg.  In which * March of theirs, if you should but fall in amongst the Ranks, you will presently suppose yourselves in the Turkish Leaguer: for as the Soldiers there, so these here, talk of nothing but Stratagems and points of War. Some threaten to overthrow their Foe-men, upon Assaults and Batteries: Some (as if an enemy were to be blown up in a Citadel) swear to drive them out by way of Eiections: Others, as if they came to the sacking of Constantinople, upon nothing but Attachments, both of body and goods.  
But because I have wit enough to keep myself out of Gunshot, and to remember an old-said Saw, which long ago I learned of my Grandam, That it is wholesome sleeping in a whole skin; I will here leave them together by the ears 
* Tutissimum in portu navigare. : Fight Dog, fight Beat; and for me the Devil part them.  

A brief Prediction of the 12. Months of the Year. 1623.  
But for I scorn to undervalue so my Skill, as to serve under the Standard of vulgar Astronomy, I should here lay down some Documents, when to eat hot meats, and when to drink new Wines: but because every Widgeon (that has money in his purse, and eyes in his head to stumble to a Tavern) can do this without a Calendar, I pretermit it, as frivolous and feeulent.  
Moreover, I should show you how many followers every Month maintains, as some Thirty, some One and thirty, and one only but Eight and twenty; because he is fallen to decay, and therefore keeps but a cold house: amongst which serving Creatures, I should give you the names of the Gentlemen, who are the Dominc all Letters, wearing Red liveries both Winter and Summer: but because I would not willingly have a hand in grinding such base Colours, give me leave to air your thoughts on a nimbler wing, where they shall fly in a high place; and from whence (as if you sat in the most perspicuous Twopenny Gallery of a Playhouse) you shall with perspicacity behold all the parts, which I (your new-come ginger) shall Act among the Stars; and thus I begin:  
The working days of every Month, shall not be observed this Year, as in times of yore; by reason of certain morball infirmities, that are avoidable to domineer over Tradesmen, as the 
* Wonderful Maladies amongst Tradesmen.  Lazie-evill, the Lethargy, and the Whiripuffe; which is, a forgetful carelessness of their own State: Dizziness of the pate, (arising from the fumes of Tap-lash) and the like. For men of occupations shall in spite of Order; or the rules of Almanac-makers, transpose Workidayes into the rooms of Holidays: yea, by my sea, and women shall hold Holidays in such base contempt, that though their Husbands do then shut up Shops, and lay not abroad their Wares; yet shall the Wives fall close to work in their secret Chambers.  
divers Grocers this year perhaps may break, for many Reasons, best known to themselves: but (if Agrippa soble me not) those Apothecaries must have main good doings, whose Wives are surpassing ●aire, and their Doctors superlatively famous for their practic & Chance-medley Science.  
This year shall Religion be 
* Mockers of Religion, are in the high way to Reprobation.  scoffed at, and a deep scandal struck on the Professors thereof: so that Holiness shall be fain to hide its head, for fear of being branded with that irreligious Nickname of Puritan; and many zealous Saints shall not dare, outwardly to show the fruits of that Profession, which inwardly hath taken deep root in their hearts, lest they should be snapped up with the thorny teeth of calumnious Reproach. But woe to the world (cry I) because of offences: For my better Genius tells me, that had it not been for these Moseses, these heavenly stop-gaps, who by their powerful Ejaculations and prayers, have from time to time, bunged up the vessels of God's wrath, it long ere this, had been, in no less fearful manner, then plentiful Measure, poured down upon this Kingdom, to its utter demolishment and perdition.  
divers likewise this year, shall surfeit in sin and sensuality, wholly anchoring their hopes on the Spanish Proverb, A Roma por todo, At Rome there are 
* Gr●ale a Friar in the fist, then live as you list.  Ablolutions enough for all manner of Transgressions: and so nuzzeling themselves in all sorts of Naughtiness, at last shall dye of the 
* A Disease, of which many die laughing.  Sardinian Disease. O may the Sun of Grace so shine into them, that at last they may see (with melting souls) the Cimmerian blindness of their caltginous Errors! And that's all the harm I wish them.  
This year, shall more News be coined by the numerous * Multitude, in a minute of an 
〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Phocyl.  hour, then shall fall out to be true, in a Million of years: For diverse, out of an ill-seasoned, discomposed, and vn-occasioned Affection, and fanatical Fancy, shall conclude infinite Infallibilities.  
Many Monster-Muliers also of our Age, shall lay out large sums of Time, about white-liming their cheeks, and blemishing the brightness of their Creation; beginning their work in their beds betimes in the morning, and ending it at Noon a little before the Cloth is laid: So that I may justly take up this Spanish Proverb; and (if I dare come near them, for fear of Infection) hurl it at their impious Impudence; That these painted * Puppets, the more 
Que la Muger, quento mas mirare la cara, tanto mas destroyed la casa.  curious they are about their faces, the more careless they are about their houses; the reparation of the one, being the ruination of the other.  
The loss of Memory, or the Lethal Evil, shall seize upon them that shall go drunk to bed: but to those who recluse themselves in Counters or other places of dear reckoning, because they abhor the vanities of the world; and to those that shall be swinged with French-Birch, or be struck with a Gentlemanlike disease; the curtallest day in Winter shall seem more tedious, 
Annulus arctus, non gestandus, Pythag.  yea, and indeed shall produce more * wearisome hours, than S. Bar●abies day, which Nature has decreed to be the longest in the year.  
The Sundays (as if it were Bissextile, or Leap-year) shall be by a number leapt over, so that a film of Sensuality being drawn over their eyes, they shall not for four, five, or six months together, be able (by the advice and help of those that make the best waters, to recover eyesight) to see a Church, but shall be struck with such Megrimes, and Vagaries of the brain, that in stead of going to Church, they will (if my cunning falter not) stumble into a Tavern.  
The Dog-days will all this year rage twice a week, and that very furiously; but their forest outrage will be about the Bear-garden. The rising also and declination of the Sun, shall be so miraculous; that albeit, it shine never so brightly in our Horizon, yet there shall be certain persons (and those close fellows too) that shall not have power at high-noon to behold it. The Moon also shall be so various in her influence, that as well men as women shall be as mad in all the rest of the months, as in that of Midsummer.  
The setting up of a 
* An intolerable liberty in a Christian Commonwealth.  Whorehouse this year, shall be as common, as the setting up of a Trade, yea, and shall pass under that name. For a stock of two beds and four Wenches, shall be sufficient to put a Madam Pimpernelle into present practice, and bring them into reasonable doings. In these Shops of the World, the flesh, and the devil, many souls shall be set to sale, and bodies exposed to Shipwreck: for men and women there shall as 
* Consuetude vim naturae obtinet propter vetustatem, Cicero.  familiarly go into a Chamber to endanger one another on a Flock-bed, as into a Tavern to make one another merry with Wine.  
But give me leave (my little sweet sinful Citizens) to season your disrellisht palates with this saucy counsel: That when you are misled with lust (that Will-with wisp,) to those caves of Cockatrises, gather yourselves within this thought, That notwithstanding you seem to suck cool and supple blandishments from their * moist-warme tongues, yet are they but like 
〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. Binis fidibus count, Aristid. Non omnes qui habent Cytharam, sunt Cytharaedi, Nar.  Sampsons' Foxes, and carry fire in their tails: I mean, when you are hurried with the heat of Concupiscence to any of those Limbo-patrums, and are at point of entrance, then start back, as from a bed of Snakes, or as you would do from a house, where a Red-crosse affronts the upper post of the door, and be sure to recall this ancient Adage into your memory; Quicquid agis, prudenter agas, & respice finem: the which for the lesse-learneds benefit I construe thus: On what exploit soever you venture, be first well advised, and remember the end. For this is probatum, whosoever rides long on the belly of Lechery, shall be sure at last to be hurled at an Hospital gate.  

A Paradox.  On St. Luke's day is there likely to happen such a confusion of Caterpillars at Cuckolds-haven; as that this year there shall not die one Scricant; and yet in all the 24. Wards of London, shall there be scarce one honest man found alive of that claw-back Faculty.  

Aliud agit, aliud simulas, Cic.  Drunkenness this year, shall turn * Machiavelli, and play the Politician; for though she cannot have licence to keep open-house on the Sabbath-day, and get her full swinge, to outstare the Lam, to reel & ramble out of every tipling-Schoole; by reason of some wholesome Inhibitions conceived against her Irregularity; yet will she in the midst of divine Service, slily filch herself into the Tavern under a Churchwardens Gown; where she suddenly will sacrifice more pence in pints of Sack to her spoungie Lungs, then shall be after the Sermon, distributed to the poor of the Parish; and at her coming soorth, shall wipe her judicious chin with such a composed gravity, as if she had been searching those nests, for some birds of the same feather.  
The governance of Scorpio, this year, shall be so flammigerous; that Court-bloods shall so boil in their burning bosoms; as that the most monstrous or manlike Lady of them all, shall be glad (not withstanding her Stiletto) to run behind the Arras (perhaps you will think, of purpose to be found there) to hide and preserve her Chastity from their unresistable fury; but in 
Lust, lawless,  this jumbling * combustion, poor Chamber-pot Wenches shall be sure (how ere the game goes) to go to the walls; where, to cry out, will be bootless, for they shall be put in no stronger hopes, then to be used without pity, until the storm be laid and overblown. 
Absque vata ● auda virtus, manca●▪ Orbis gloria, Syn. Epist, 49.   
Poet's * who are virtues Crutches, and keep life in the dying world, this year, shall be in a poor case: for if they be but taken napping with 
* Haec rarò aus nunquam.  good clothes on their backs, and store of money in their pockets; they shall presently be apprehended by the City's Anniverssaries, and clapped into the Chronicles: but to prevent this danger, I hope, that Opus and Vsus, their two daily Companions, will continually lie knocking at their Chamber doors, to keep them waking.  
Proh dolour! hinc lachryma!  
Very few Footmen this year shall purchase Land: for that in the course of their lives, they commonly are vnstayed fellows, and most an end, carry running heads.  
This is likely to be an heavy year to poor * 
Q●isque portabit Onus.  Porter's too: For though sundry Commutative differences fall between Merchant and Merchant, Sale-men and Countrey-Chapmen, with other like accidental occurrences; yet the Porters must bear the burden of it; and by the help of * Pattence shall carry it away willingly: 
Patientia asininum onus, saith a Spaniard.  And beside, for that they are generally reputed, men of the best under-standing, they shall this year be trusted with the weightiest matters of the Commonwealth.  
Trumpeters, of all other men, this year, had most need to carry Aquavitae Bottles at their girdles; and the reason is; for that they are most subject to sounding. And as for common Fiddlers; they shall scrape out a poor living out of dried Catguts; and many of them shall this year be troubled with abominable noises and sing in their heads, insomuch as the most part of them shall dye Beggars; or at the best, as bare as their Cloaks, or a base Viol uncased; and those that survive, shall often feed on melody for want of better meat.  
And whereas the Eclipses of this year shall be far remote from the sign Pisces, it shows, that there shall be much stinking Fish at Belins-gate; and that Queene-borrow Oyster-boates shall carry more Knaves then Honest men: but let Fishwives beware, left most of them this year, prove not insufferable Scolds: yet because Pisces is a Sign that governs the feet, they shall wear out more Shoes in Lent, then in any 2. months beside throughout the whole year, and get their living (liking the wand'ring * jew) 
Read Trundle, in his 1. Tom of the Wand'ring Jew.  by walking and Crying; because they will rail against Pie-corner, and call her, The foule-faced fulsome Slut of the City.  
I should here unlock the Casket of my knowledge, (having well nigh forgot) and lay open some rarities concerning 
* Qui b●na, bon●; mala malo redduns.  Players: but because the Commonwealth affords them not their due desert; and for they are men of some parts, & live not like lazy Drones, but are still in Action; I am content silently to refer them to three Sublunary Felicities; which are these: A Fair Day, a Good Play, and a Gallant Audience, and so let them shift for their lives.  
But now have I an horrible Months mind, to cut through the Main of the 12. Months, in a particular successive Order: but the Glass which Time has lent me, being not filled with many hours, I will hoist Sail, and only discover six of them, and then cast Anchor.  
Behold them therefore at hand, how they come frisking in single file one after another, like so many Morris-dancers, (my self being the Hobby-horse) and every Month wearing in his Cap, in stead of a Feather, Four unhandsome wholesome Rhymes; conformable to the fashion of our Neo●ericke Prognosticators. And thus hear the Foreman of the Morris deliver his speech.   

JANVARY.  

This Month drink you no Wine commixed with Dregs,  
Eat Capons, and fat Hens with dumpling Legs:  
Whether it bluster, Sleet, hail, freeze, or Snow,  
Be sure, that from the Fire you do not go.   

Disposition of January.  THE First day of january being raw, cold and comfortless to such as have lost their money at 
* One being asked, what his Opinion was of Gaming, thus replied: He that looseth, looseth Heaven, and he that wins, wins Hell.  Dice at one of the Temples overnight, strange apparitions are like to be seen: Marchpanes marching betwixt Leaden-Hall and the little Conduit in Cheap, in such abundance, that an hundred good fellows may sooner starve, then catch a corner, or a Comfit to sweeten their mouths.  
It is also to be feared, that through frailty, if a slip be made on the Messenger's default that carries them, for non-delivery at the place appointed; that unless the said messenger, be not the more inward with his Mistress, his Master will give him rib-roast for his Newyeares-gift the next morning.  
This day shall be given many more gifts than shall be asked for: and Apples, Eggs, and Oranges, shall be lifted to a lofty rate; when a Pomewater bestucke with a few rotten Cloves, shall be more worth than the honesty of an Hypocrite: and half a dozen of Eggs of more estimation, than the Vows of a Strumpet. Poets this day shall get mightily by their Pamphlets: for an hundred of Eleborate Lines shall be less esteemed in London, than an hundred of Walfleet Oysters at Cambridge.  
Be not proud my nimble pated Mercuries: you that send forth your Pamphlets fluttering about the City to fetch in Crowns: for ere this years' Semicircles meet, (if I overshoot not my skill in Astrology) 
* Quo Fata trabunt, retra●untque sequamur, Virg.  Latin shall be set at a lower rate, than a Lobster; and 
* Fat●●● cuiq, quid fleat, quid ●●●dea. Sen. Prou.  Greek stand begging in Paul's with a Paper on its breast, as a punishment, that it should be so presumptuous, as to beg with an Heathen Tongue, in this our jewish Nation; and all this, long of a malignant Aspect of some pursy Planet, that had rather hear an Ox of his own low in his Pasture, than a Scholar declaim of Hospitality in his Larder.  
The 2. 3. 4. and 5. of this Month, to begin the New year thriftily; He that has any business of import abroad; the first thing he does, must be sure, first to rise in the morning, before he go any whether. For though Albumazar and Ptolomee talk of these Circumstances, yet my Books * warrant me; That about Soper-Lanes end, (Heaven keep Printers from thence) these days early 
Tant● quisq● i●tus amplius stultior, quanto o●natur exteri●●, sapiens videri. Greg.  in the morning, if you set six double ribs of roast-beef, with Bread and Drink suitable; ere a Sergeant can go to Paul's to say his prayers with a sound Conscience, will be no more relics seen of the Roast-meat (I trow well) then is at this day of great Ilium.  
The sixth of this Month; if your business ask not much haste, it will be better going by Land then by water to Brainford: and being like to be cold and a close Sky, better putting into an * 
Testudo 〈◊〉 tegumen tut● est. Luc.  Alehouse at Putney, then to wing against wind and tide without a tilt-Cloath to Richmond bank.  
About six a clock in the morning (the tide serving well at Queen-hive) he that sups not overnight, and lands at the Court with Purse and stomach empty, unless he find some friend to comfort him, six to four, he could find in his heart to venture the stealing of the Guards Chine of Beef: which thing to do, would be an Herculean task, considering the great Fire-fork so near, and so many sharp shavers at hand, Champions for the Beef and the Bombard.  
This day about the hours of 5. 6. 7. 8. 9 and 10. yea in some places till midnight well nigh, will be such a Massacre of Spice-bread, that ere the next day at noon, a Twopenny brown Loaf will set twenty poor Folks teeth on edge: which hungry humour will hold so violent, that a number of good fellows will not refuse to give a statute Merchant of all the Lands and goods they enjoy, for half a Crowned worth of Twopenny pasties.  
And if on this night there be never so much Masking in the Strand, Cheapside, Holborn, or Fleetstreet, yet it is to be thought, (propter Sympathiam) there will be as hot Revels without 
Libido nullo loco excluditur.  Torchlight, in * White-friar's, Turnbull, Field-lane, etc. at Noon days, as you shall find at Antwerp in Lepwel-Street, or London in Peticote-Lane.  
For the residue of the day's dispositions of this Month, I find they will be conformable to the former, and far different from that, which our annual Prognosticators shall foretell of them: Therefore lest my Pen should freeze to my finger's ends, I will abandon the Company of this Clumzy-fisted Gray-bearded january, and leave him to blow his Nails.   

FEBRVARY.  

If thou hast store of Cash, drink Muskadine,  
And choose a young Wench to thy Valentine:  
For she that's queasy, overworn and Old,  
Can make no music in a Month so Cold.   
FEBRVARY fill-dike: An old saying and a true; for it is like this year to fill Dike, I can tell you, but not fill Dickes belly: For according to the course of Astrology, the Charity of men will refrigerate extremely with the weather; both being as cold as the Harrows Bottle-Beere was the last year on Christmas even, which warmed me at the heart, like the croaking Call of a carrion Constable at midnight, abetted by his barbarous Billmen to encounter me. Twenty seven of these 28. days, Men, Women, & Children, are like to fill the Ditches in some Countries, & make poor Cabins in high ways, for want of warmer Stowage, long of a swarm of cruel Caterpillars, that * 
Quis metus aut pudor est v●quam proper axtis ●●ari!  Cormorant-like shall swallow the patrimonies of the Widows and Fatherless, who disburse no more benevolence at their doors, then comes from the poor, out of the back Gate of the Savoy.  
But that I am a Prognosticator and no Preacher, (my small honest friends) I could else render you some savoury Sentences out of holy Writ, against this hardness of heart, contempt, and covetousness, that might perhaps move you never a whit to amend: but because you care as little for Sermons as Almanacs, and all one, I will leave you to your Idolatry, who have seen more Angels on Earth, than ever you shall see in Heaven; (unless you repent) hang me else (Usurers) and let me lack no Rope.  
To the Ninth day of this Month, such will be the sharpness of the weather for the most part; that it will be as good walking in a fur'd Gown, as in a Doublet cut upon stark naked: and as good Dining well in a matted Chamber, as Dialoguing with Duke Humphrey in Paul's.  
This day will be such stormy weather in Westminster-Hall, that some through the fullness of grief, and emptiness of Purse, will go nigh to burn his Capcase, & be glad to take 13. groats de claro for his gray-Maro.  
The 10. 11. and 12. days, such a slaughter shall be committed in Eastcheap, St. Nicholas Shambles, Southwark, & Smithfield-Barres, that for 6. weeks and upward, some one or two Carnifices in those corners, are like to do Penance, & stand all day under a white Sheet, selling that for two Shillings, that they might well afford for 16. pence; if they did not pay some 40. Marks for a Licence: which indeed forceth the Fishmongers take up this cold complaint, and say truly: Licentiâ sumus omnes deteriores; and wish wisely beside, that such Patents did not prove Patent oppressions?  

Description of Shrove-tuesday.  But now stand off (my friends) give room I say: for here must enter that wadling, straddling, bursten-gutted Carnifex of all Christendom; vulgarly enstiled Shrove-tuesday, but more pertinently, sole-monarch of the Mouth, high Steward to the Stomach, chief Ganymede to the Guts, prime Peer of the Pullet's, first favourite to the Frying-pans, greatest Bashaw to the Batterbowles, Protector of the Pancakes, first Founder of the Fritters, Baron of Bacon-flitch, Earl of Egge-baskets, and in the least and last place, lower Warden of the Stinke-ports. This corpulent Commander of those choleric things, called Cooks, will show himself to be but of ignoble education; for by his manners, you may find him better fed then taught where ever he comes: For he feeds fulsomly on nothing but flesh, of purpose to empty Plenty's Palace, to fill the dirty draught; and devours with delight, only to impoverish Heaven's Bounty, and quite eraze the race of Roast-meat.  
By the revolution of the Stars, this is also infallible, the sign being in Pisces; That Fishmongers shall sell more fish in six weeks this year, then in sixteen after Easter: by which I divine, That he that makes his dinner with red Herrings on a Sunday, would be 
* Esurienti (Lu-po) ne occurras, Thcocrit.  glad with all his heart of a loin of Veal, to close his stomach; which because he cannot so conveniently eate at noon days in new Fish-street, I wish him to the Bars in Smithfield, or a little beyond, where for money he may have flesh at all times of the day.  
From the 13. to the 20. of this present Month, what weather soever comes, ye shall at all times of the day find such good Customers in Paul's, that for three single yards of Satin, will seal with you to a * 
cum maximè fallit, bonus vir videri vult.  Recognizance of an hundred pound howsoever: but it is to be feared, Mercury being predominant, that a day or two before the day of payment, one March blast will blow them to Virginia; who when once being gone, you shall find a measure of Hercules foot, as sufficient, as their obligation ever after.  
For the residue of the days of this Month, if the snow fall but a foot thick, are like to be seen such formidable Monsters, Bears, Lions, Elephants, and Unicorns, in Cheapside, Cornhill, Fleetstreet, and Paules-Church-yard, that some shall not dare to put their heads out of door, or walk the streets for fear of snapping: others, shall gather up on credit, as much as they can, and then take Ludgate for Sanctuary: nay, and I fear me too, that the proudest ginger of us all, shall not dare to * 
Semper plus a●●nus metuit, ignorans 〈◊〉.  venture by the Poultry gate; lest he should be ceased on, and hurried too into a Gulf, where he shall see nothing but Misery charactered on the naked walls, lousy lodging, and men walking up and down like affrighted Spirits in Purgatory, crying out on Conscience, and Cousnage, their continual Companions.  Dij talem terris avertite pestem.  

MARCH.  

Walk warm within thy Chamber or thine Hall;  
March not too fast, lest thou do catch a fall:  
And better is the dust (when winds do rise,)  
To lie beneath thy feet, then in thine eyes.   
MARCH, my books say, is this year like to be wet and windy. The 1. 2. 3. 4. and 5. day, such weather, that if it rain a pace, it will be better and drier going in Thames-street in a pair of liquored Neats-leather Boötes, then in a pair of Spanish leather Pumps: and far worse marching over Hownslow heath without a Cloak, then with one.  
The 6. 7. 8. and 9 days; if it pour downright in the after noon, it will be as good tarrying at an honest Alchouse, and take impost, as going to a bowling Alley, and lose every bet.  
The 10. 11. and 12. if the Clouds swell, and tend to skuds, though it thunder not aloft, yet six to four, once ere night, it will so thunder in Turne-againe-Lane, that the * Fishwives will 
Caninam facundiam exercent, Salu●●  fight a combat with Belins-gate Plaice: whereof this year shall be such stinking store, that a man had better hang them at his back, then put them in his belly.  
Till the 26. of this Month, the weather will be so raw and rainy, that never a Merchant, Metcer, Grocer, Draper, Fishmonger, Goldsmith, Haberdasher, Skinner, Salter, Iron-monger, or Vintner, but had as lief deliver for ready money, as for days, to the best Chapman, Courtier, or Customer he hath: and moreover, will arise such gales of pestiferous gusts, that not a Physician, or Chirurgeon in the Town, but had rather have a rich man to his Patient, than one who hath neither money to give in earnest nor in jest.  
The 26. 27. and so to the end of this Month, you can guess as well as I, what weather will happen: marry this I find in many more Authors, then either you or I have ever seen or heard of, That he that hath not his 
* Pecuniae sunt necessariae, sine quibus n●●●l rectè geripotest, Demost. 3. Olynth.  Rent ready some one of these days, being the last of March; may perchance hop without his house in April, unless happily his Featherbed reprieve him, and his Landlord freely and friendly give him leave to lie in the straw, till the day of Redime come on.  
A few flaws are like to fall the latter end of this Month; which foul weather, if it hold, will keep some so fast in the Counter, as that without an Habeas corpus, or a better compromise, they are not likely to walk abroad in haste. As for thunder and lightning, you shall be sure to have more store this Month, at the Fortune in Golding-lane, then in Gravesend Barge, or in Westminster-hall, in a long Vacation.   

APRIL.  

April's softshowers, as ancient Authors say,  
Bring in and beautify the flowers of May:  
Whether thy Doublet be or thick or thin,  
'tis better to be warm, then wet to'th skin.   
APRIL showers bring May flowers. This is as true as February fill-dike: and indeed if showers fall fast in April, it is like enough that some body's money and gold will be clean washed out of their purses ere May: For the 1. 2. and 3. day of this Month, a shoulder of Mutton will then be in as good request, as at any time of the year before or after.  
The 4. or 5. and sixth, shall be many more suits of apparel worn, then will be paid for: and more money 
* Nullum bonum est, quo quis male non utatur.  bestowed on fat Lambs in Eastcheap, then will be given to all the poor between the Tower and Westminster.  
The 7. 8. 9 and 10. young men shall wax so covetous, that they shall seek to seize on all the pretty Wenches they can come by; and old men so lusty and wanton, that a wealthy Widow shall be better welcome unto them, than a pure poor virgin, that has ne'er a penny to her marriage. Bachelors wives, and maiden's children in these days are like to be well taught, and more seeming-friendship to be had in an house of Transgression for a French-crown, though it be a bald one, then at Belins-gate for a box o'th' ear.  
The 11. 12. and 13. shall be much delving with Spade and Pickax, amongst Gardeners: But this I must tell you, that not one pot of gold so found or taken up, shall ever be drawn in question at the Exchequer, or come into the Criers mouth at 
* Fortuna faue●●atuis.  Alders-gate. And if peradventure one or other with his Mattocke hit upon any such mischance; if he repair the ruins of some Church with it, presently he forfeits his eyesight, and ten to one, will lack money, ere he dies, to buy his dinner.  
From the 13. to the 21. the weather shall be so variable, that he who lies in Ludgate, and becomes a close fellow, shall not wear out so many shoes in a day, as a foot-post will do in a whole twelvemonth; and those that lie encountered, shall be sure to have a dry house over their heads, when their Creditors (perhaps) go dabbling up and down in the dirt: but for that Venus will be in conjunction with Mars, it presageth; that many a sturdy knave-ostler will be busy with the 
* Sinon castè, ●●men cautè.  Kitchenmaid in the manger, while their Mistress' silver Whistle keeps time to their Trenchmore.  
About this time, new Plays will be in more request, then old▪ and if company come currant to the Bull and Curtain, there will be more money gathered in one afternoon, then will be given to Kings-land spital in a whole month. Also, if at this time, about the hours of four and five, it wax cloudy, and then rain downright, they shall sit drier in the Galleries, than those who are the understanding men in the yard.  
In the rest of this Month will be such moisture stirring, that if some do not look warily this Spring to the English Rheum, it may chance turn the next fall to the French— P.  
In the last quarter, 
* No more pity to see a widow weep, then to see a Goose go● barefoot.  Widows that follow their Husbands howling to the Church, will drill such showers of sorrow from their eyes, as that ere the burial banquet be fully ended, they will be more then half sped of fresh bedfellows.  
For the storms, showers, gusts, flaws, and Changes incident in this Moon, I might set down a more: concise Discourse, if I could tell how: but let this satisfy, that in this Month, many Ca●aclismes will fall in the bottoms, flats, and low grounds, that will bring forth such fruit in February, as will go alone with a little help within forty weeks after.   

MAY.  

To Islington and Hogsdon, runs the stream  
Of giddy people, to eat Cakes and Cream.  
Which is far wholesomer, with Sugar in,  
Then in the dirt, to wade up to the chin.   
MAY is the merry month, and may not be put beside his jocund humour: yet on the first day betimes in the morning, shall young Fellows and Maids be so inucloped with a mist of wand'ring out of their ways, that they shall fall into ditches one upon another, and there shall the young men lie for a little while, not being able to stand, while the Maids after their downfalls, being astonished, shall rise sooner than they would do. Yet in the afternoon, if the sky clear up, shall be a stinking stir at Picke-hatch, with the solemn revels of Morice-dancing, and the Hobby-horse so neatly presented, as if one of the Masters of the Parish had played it himself. Against this high day likewise shall be such preparations for merry meetings, that diverse durty-Sluts shall bestow more in 
* Cit● ignomi●ia fit superbi gloria, Sy r. Omnium super●ia, procedit ex sui ignoratione.  Stuffe, Lace, and making up of a Gown, and a Petticoat, than their two years' wages comes too, besides the benefit of Candles ends, and Kitchen-stuff.  
This day shall be erected long wooden Idols called Maypoles; whereat many greasy Churls shall murmur, that will not bestow so much as a Faggot-sticke towards the warming of the Poor: an humour, that while it seems to smell of Conscience, savours indeed of nothing but Covetousness.  
From the 1. to the 23. day, he that lives to see them, shall see more broken heads at Cudgels under the Zenith of London, than Angels or French Crowns in the poor men's Box at Ludgate. And within the compass of these days, shall there happen such a tenebrous obfuscation of the Sun, that in all Great Britain shall you hardly discern a common Horse-courser from an arrant Knave. As for Tailors and Millers, such shall be their Conscience, that work Mercury never so mightily, they shall steal nothing, but that which is brought unto them.  
The residue of this pleasant Month, will be Congruous to the sweet Season, only it will be somewhat bleak in the mornings, which will so 
Difficulter r●●iduntur vitia, quae nobiscum creverunt. Seneca.  cool the Hospitality of many a Country-Gentleman, as being in hope to buy Fowls better cheap in St. Nicholas-Shambles, then kill them with his own Hawks, he will leave his Bailiff, and his Dairy-Maydes to multiply together at home, and either sojourn with some Citizen, for the love of his Wife; or keep a Garden-House, and a fresh Wench, somewhere about the Suburbs.   

JUNE.  

Take heed of tossing Balls until you sweat,  
And to be swelted with unkindly heat:  
Yet though the time serve, you your Sheep may shear,  
'tis better have good clothes, than none to wear.   
THE 1. 2. and 3. of this Month, the weather is like to be● so inconstant in disposition; as that he who has made an ill bargain at Algate, shall 
Criminis Medidicina princeps ipsa poenitentia, Arrian.  repent him twice, ere he come to Charingcross. And Painters shall prove the craftiest Corporation in the City: for whatsoever business they take in hand, they shall find some Colour for it.  
The 4. 5. 6. and 7. if the weather prove fair, many men's eyes shall be so dazzled with the illustrious coruscation of the Sunbeams; That 
A trick of legerdumain, called Deceptio visus.  they shall meet a * Tailor in the street, and take him to be some Knight: and presently after meet a Knight, and think him to be a Gentleman of some Noble descent.  
About this Month's 8. 9 and 10. shall Diseases reign powerfully in this Realm, and especially the swelling-Euill; insomuch as diverse fat gorrell-gutted Churls, shall have golden Tumours and Tympanies in their purses.  
But if they be long let alone (an hundred to one) some one or other of them will never see well, till he be Sheriff of his Shire, or have bought his neighbour's House over his head for a favour. Beggars at this time shall be no choosers, unless it be Robin-Hoods choice; Either this or nothing. Brewer's also shall by exchange, take up money out of the Thames without Bill or Assurance, and turn Water into double Beer, without miracle.  
Hackney-men this Month, shall be prodigiously Planet-struck: For he that takes six Shillings for three days hire of a Curtal; may happen never to set eye of him, till his tail has attained a seven years' growth: such kind * 
Fallere fallentem non est fraus.  Customers shall they meet with, this fair weather, that because Hay and Horse-meat are dear, they will give them the running of a Nag or Gelding all their life-time for nothing.  
Till the 20. th' of this Month of june; the Wether is like to show so serene a brow; That Watermen shall row in their Shirts up and down the River: And he that plies a man at Paules-wharse, with his Cap in's hand for a Penny; shall be as ready to outbrave him in scurvy terms, the next day on the Bankside, or the Bear-garden, as if he were a Gentleman of Five hundred pounds Land per Annum.  
The 21. 22. and 23. of this Month, will be good shearing Sheep, and better owning them. These days, it is to be doubted, that Gentlemen and wealthy Countrey-chuffes, will so fleece their poor neighbours, that twenty Tenements shall fly at once into one Manner-house, and a goodly large Common transformed to a Park, for cumbering the Parish.  
These days the Eclipses chancing in Cancer, sole house of the Moon: Colliers, Smiths, Blacking-boyes, Armourers, and Chimney-sweepers, are like to wear the foulest Faces in the City: and Ladies, Laundresses, and curious Sempsters, the fairest hands. &c About this time of the year, will be far better rising to Prayers then at St. Andrewes-tide: and St. Antlin Church better filled at six in the morning, then in February or March at hie Noon.  
In this Season the weather being as fair as it will be, an ambling Nag shall be as easy for an Old man to ride on, as an hard Trotter: and he that is perplexed with an Ague, shall be more desirous to keep his Bed, or the Chimney corner, then to back a great Horse in a Scottishsaddle. Scholar's likewise shall be kindly entreated, the rather, for it is the latter end of the Quarter; and Tutors as ready to receive Quarterage, as read Logic Lectures to their Pupils.  
The 24. 25. and so onward to the end of this Month, though the weather shall be extremely hot, yet shall Satin be as fair wearing as Sackcloth; and a perfumed Leather jerkin, as good as a pair of Sheepskin breeches: Velvet, though it wear best in the Winter, shall be far dearer than Buckram; and Silk-stockings not so good cheap, as linen Boot-hose.  
About these days, if the Lions in the Tower roar, as they were wont; a seaming-laced Shirt, and an open-sleeued Doublet, shall be bought cheaper for ready money, then upon lackadandies bond; though it be sealed with his wooden stump at the Wrestling place.  
In this Month, let Gravesend Barge look to her freight; for lie the winds never so low; if there be neither Louse, nor Flea, Knave, nor Drab; Thief, nor Whore in it, it will sink between Wapping and Woolwich, a Noble to a Groat.  
For posting between Dover and Gravesend; howsoever the Tide fall by day or night; the softer you ride, (the sooner I will not say,) the safer you come to your journey's end. And this I can tell you; though the weather towards the latter end of this Month be never so hot; yet he that lies in the bottom of the Thames two hours together, were as good be on the Temple-stayres stark-naked, with an hundred pound of his own in a bag under his arm.  
The two last days of this Month, will be as good a time to lay a furred Gown to pawn as in any season of the year; unless it be to be used for a greater exigent, as to bribe a Sergeant, so to evolue out of a more intricate danger: then (all excuses set apart) pawn Gown, or whatsoever, according to the old adverb: Better suffer a mischief then a convenience.  
Now at the close should I lead you up into those spangled Palaces above us, and show you 
* According to the opinion of all Astrologers.  two and twenty thousand Stars, and tell you the names of them all; then bring you into the Planet's banqueting-house, where you might behold their glorious Magnificence: but because they are (like bad Tenants here below) always removing, I know not where to find them: The Spheres harmonious conglomerations, etc. but some wiser than some, therefore for these trifles, I refer you to the reading of Doctor Dondolo: Only take this decurtate conclusive prediction along with you for a parting blow, as touching obnoxious accidents: That it will be far better for the bodies and purses of men to drink Bottle-Ale moderately, than Claret, or Sack excessively: and far worse for a woman to receive a thump o'th' back with a stone, or a pop i'th' eye with a stick; then have a mess of white-broth, or a jowl of fresh-Cod to dinner.    

Envoy.  
THUS far (my capricious Construers) have I guided you, by the slender twist of my cackling Skill, through the Labyrinth of this busy Season of six Months: So that by this time, I doubt not, but you are substantially instructed in jack Dawes Dialect; which is, (suiting to the garb of all us Astrologers) to prattle much, to little purpose. Therefore, lest my toomuch chattering should pester the ears of Patience, I will now take wing, and fly from out this contagious Climate, into some Solitary and sacred place; where (after pruning my infected feathers) I will reedisie my towzed Nest, and there carefully hatch up the other six Months; which shall be fledge and ready to fly the next Term, or never. But here suppose me to speak Spanish; or promise Quousque and mean to perform upon Advantage. Till when, I hopefully Conclude, to have left behind me such an evident Demonstration of my unparaleld Practice in Starre-staring, as shall induce the both meanest, and most judicious, to say; That (well fare his Chaps)— Movet Cornicula risum.   

OIONISMA: OR A coxcombical Prediction of this succeeding years Production. 1623. (* ⁎ *)  

Out of high Self-conceit, I forth could chatter,  
Such monstrous Omens, as it makes no matter,  
To win a windy Reputation from  
Phlebean Breath, as (* wisely) have done some; 
Sceptics.   
And so though Turnkey draw upon my back:  

Qui nescit tacere, loqui nescit.  But I have Wit enough to keep my ● clack,  
And not o'erswell my Banks; as did that Flood,  
Who soiled his purer Current in the Mud  
of Scandal; whose foul stigmatic deep Shame,  
Was struck so home, as 'twill outlast his Name.  
I cannot Cog, though I can talk Non-sonse;  
Maugre Eaves-dropping sly Intelligence:  
For who feigns Truth unto a false Intent;  
May some sharp Ulcer play on's Fundament  
The Spanish-Panin; or else the English Horse  
Of Wood, dis-mount him, and stop's Natures course.   

Heaven's bless the King: And God good-speed the Plough:  
If Corn be plentiful, wees have enough:  
If't chance to Rain or Shine; or both, or either,  
We shall be sure t'have foul, or else fair Wether.  
If Flattery be sent packing from the Court,  
Falsehood i'th' City, shall in Truthfull sort  
Then stuff each Shop: when Good-things come, Bad fly;  
If Fish want Water, they must needs be Dry.  
If fruitless Strife, the Country do dis-ease,  
Then Lawyers must (its fury to appease)  
Take Fees a both sides. This I dare presage,  
That the clear Sun ne'er looked on such an Age  
Of untamed Badness, as will takes Career  
Quite through the Circle of this sequent Year.  
I am not yet excentricke; I know how  
To screw up Vice, and Virtue to allow.  
But to all Knaves this mostly will appear;  
That Fools had ne'er less Wit, than th' have this Year.   

Would I had Crowns▪ enough: I, those for me;  
One thousand and Six hundred Twenty three.   
And no more.  
Some Faults have 'scaped: Such Faults Goodmen can mend:  
The Printer's faulty: for 'twas truly peed.