portrait of Reverend Mr. Edmund Trench In simplicity and Godly sincerity M●● Doule pinx● R White sculpt The Reverend Mr. Edmund Trench.   

SOME Remarkable Passages IN THE Holy Life and Death Of the late Reverend Mr Edmund Trench; Most of them drawn out of his own DIARY.  
Being Dead, yet Speaketh, Heb. 11.4.  
LONDON, Printed by T. Warren, for Tho. Parkhurst, at the Bible and three Crowns in Cheapside; and Jonathan Robinson, at the Golden-Lion in St. Paul's Churchyard, 1693.   

TO Sir Thomas Roberts, Bt. AND Mr. Thomas Trench, Merchant.  
IT did not need any long Dispute with me to whom I should present this Account of the Reverend Mr. Trench's Life, drawn from his own Breviate of it; when I considered not only your Relation to him, (the one by Marriage, the other by Blood;) but that extraordinary peculiar Affection to you both, which his Diary so frequently abounds with large Expressions of. How great a share had you in his kind and solicitous Thoughts! And how constantly were any Events that concerned your Welfare, the matter of his Prayers or Praises in his holy Retirements! I have indeed designedly left out those Passages, wherein he declares his Judgement of you, tho' some of them were otherwise very fit to be inserted, as expressive of the low Opinion he had of himself. For tho' there could be no suspicion of Flattery in 'em on the part of the Dead; yet I know the most deserved Praises are dangerous to the living. And I am too desirous of your imitating your excellent Brother in that Humility (which was one of the most amiable Excellencies that adorned his Life,) to do any thing that might be prejudicial to your improvement in that Grace, which (as he would often observe) should be the distinguishing Badge of our Relation to our blessed Master. That you may still live to answer more fully the Character he gives, and the great hopes that he had conceived of you; That the stock of Prayers which he daily laid up in Heaven, may descend in yet richer Returns on yourselves and Families: That you may still follow him more, in Copying out that admirable Description of our Saviour's Life, 
Acts 10.38.  That he went about doing good: That you may improve the considerable Advantages you are entrusted with for that blessed purpose; That thereby you may increase the number of so bright Examples of goodness in a degenerate Age, and become the singular Ornaments of your Christian Profession in it, is the hearty Prayer of  
Your affectionate humble Servant, J. Boyse.   

PREFACE TO THE READER.  
'TIS not without the Contrivance of exquisite Wisdom, that the Penmen of the Holy Scriptures have recorded so many Observable Passages of the Lives and Deaths of several Eminent Saints. For (besides that there is something in the Historical Part of the Bible so grateful to our Natural Curiosity, as more easily engages our Attention and Delight in the perusal of it:) We should be too ready to think these Sacred Oracles deliver to us an impracticable Idea of Piety and Holiness, if we did not behold the accurate Impression of its Doctrines and Precepts insl●●●p'd on the Temper and Actions of those that embraceed 'em. But those amiable living Patterns of Religion sensibly reproach our Defects as inexcusable, encourage and quicken our Endeavours, and inflame us with a holy Emulation, to equal, or outdo 'em. There is indeed one peculiar advantage in that relation of the Lives of good Men, which the Holy Scriptures contain; that we are sure their Actions are represented with all plainness and simplicity. The curious Pieces drawn by those inspired Painters, own none of that native Beauty and Lustre they appea● with, to the arbitrary favour of their Pencils, which as faithfully present to our view those Defects and Spots which showed ' ent to be the Children of Adam. as those fairer Lineaments and Struck of the Divine Image, which evidenced t'him to be the Sons of God. But next to the Memoirs of holy Men recorded there there are none in which we can have greater assurance of impartiality, or may expect to find not only their Actions, but even the secret Springs and Motives 〈◊〉 them more faithfully laid open, than in those penned by themselves: Especially when those that keep Diaries of their own Lives, are not only Persons of solid Judgement, but of that remarkable Humility and Integrity that may command belie from all that know 'em. On both these accounts this ensuing Breviate of the Reverend Mr. Trench's Life does recommend itself. 'Twas penned by him in the times he set apart for the strictest Selfreflection. I need say nothing to persuade any that had the happiness to converse with him, how exactly his own Motto was engraven on his Words as well as Actions; In simplicity and godly sincerity. And even for those that knew him not, I am confident there are so lively Characters of Sincerity that appear in these Papers themselves, as will abundantly satisfy all that read 'em, that in writing them he sat to himself, and drew a naked and undissembled Portraiture of his own Soul. And though I doubt not be intended 'em only for his own use, or his near Relations; yet they are too precious Remains of that excellent Soul, and too capable of being publicly useful to the interest of Religion, to be so confined. The Truth of Christianity has been proved by the clearest Arguments that the nature of the Subject can require; and vindicated against the most plausible Objections of the numerous Infidels, or (as they would now be called) Deists of this Age. But methinks the lives of such eminent Professors of it, are a considerable Addition to the strength of those Arguments, and carry with 'em more sensible Evidence of its Truth. That Revelation must sure needs be from God, which 〈◊〉 those that embrace it into so Godlike a temper, and raises 'em to so glorious a Resemblance and Imitation of the Divine Life. And here those that own the Principles of Christianity may in this Glass easily learn to distinguish betwixt its viral power, and that dispirited dead Image of it so common in the World. It evidently appears from this account of his Life, that those two Essential Branches of our holy Religion, Love to God, (venting itself in a constant and devout intercourse with him through a Mediator) and Love to Men (inflamed by the peculiar Motives the Gospel presents, and expressing itself in the most affectionate and ●●alous endeavours to do them the greatest and most lasting good) were the very Constitution and Frame of his renewed Nature, and the daily Pulse and Breath of his Soul. O with what attractive Glory would practicat Christianity shine and render the Christian Church a fair Model of the heavenly Society, were such Instances of its admirable sanctifying Influence as common as those Votaries it has gained from Custom and Interest. But I would especially propose his life as a Copy for those of his own Profession to write after: They may from him learn, that those only are fit to undertake so awful a Trust as to watch over the Souls of others, who are diligently careful to observe and regulate their own. In him there was a rare mixture of the Graces that should adorn both the contemplative and active part of a Minister's life. And few have I known to whom that Character of Ministers (which he used to draw from their being called Angels, did more exactly agree: For his time was truly divided betwixt beholding the Face of his Father in Heaven, and ministering to the Heirs of Salvation on Earth. There was no colour for taxing him with those faults that are of late become the common reproach of too many of the Clergy, Ambition and Avarice. He was so far from aspiring to great Preferments, that he would thankfully have accepted of the meanest Cure, wherein he might have had the opportunity of doing good to Souls in a public Station, which his strong Inclinations to peace made him (perhaps too earnestly) desirous of.  
Indeed if ever Humility inclined to a culpable excess, it was in him; For to that we must impute it, that so eminent a Light was for so many Years confined to a dark Corner, which was fit to shed its diffusive Beams in a far larger Orb. And so far was he from prostituting his Profession to serve a secular Interest, that having enough of his own to subsist on, h● never received one Farthing on the score of his unwearied Labours; but on th● contrary, laid out a considerable Sum yearly in good Books and other ways of Charity among the People he Preached to; and contributed liberally out of his own Purse, t● such young Ministers as had but a scanty and discouraging Allowance. I confess, A● are not capable of imitating him herein ●● but methinks such Examples should upbraid those Clergymen that not only see● Ecclesiastical Dignities, with the sam● mean and sordid Arts that others do Secular ones; but so often by Pluralities enrich themselves at no less cost than th● neglected betrayed Souls of the People (An abuse too foul for any specious colour to hid the deformity of it; and so gro● that it could not escape the Complaints 〈◊〉 the packed Council of Trent; and 'tis ● shame that our Convocations have never done any thing to reform it.) He on the contrary was as liberal of his Purse as 〈◊〉 his Pains, to promote that Interest of his blessed Master, which was far dearer to him than any that he could call his own. And indeed the admirable Success which both his, and worthy Mr. Brand's Ministry, (who was for some Years his Neighbour in those parts of Kent) met with, as endeared by their large and generous Cha●●ty, has often made me wish, that more ●●ous Gentlemen would devote their Sons to that Sacred Function, who are able to give 'em such Estates as shall free them from the necessity of dependence on their People, and capacitate them to recommend their Insiructions by their Alms. As ●ur Saviour's Miracles of Mercy in healing men's diseased Bodies, prepared 'em to receive him as the compassionate Physician of Souls: So when his Ministers are capable to relieve the Necessities of others, their Charity insinuates into the heart's of their People that affectionate Veneration for them, as giveth all their holy ●ounsels the greater Authority and Efficacy. There is but one thing more I shall take notice of concerning him, and that is, ●is great Temper and Moderation in re●erence to those modern Controversies that ●ive made so great a noise in the Reformed Churches; And I do it the rather, be cause the Reader may wonder to find litt●● or no mention of 'em in the following Breviate of his life. But tho' few perhaps d● more throughly understand 'em, yet no●● that ever I conversed with, spoke more sparingly of them. He looked on that violet Zeal which the most express about 'em, as feavourish preternatural heat that on●● preyed on the vital fervour of practice Religion. But when he declared his Judgement to his Friends that desired it, professed his concurrence with such as endeavoured to reconcile the contending Parti● by avoiding the harsh extremes of either and particularly his great esteem of the p●cisick Writings of that eminent Ligh of his age, Mr. Baxter, to whom he own himself more indebted for solid and use●●● knowledge, than any other whatsoever, th●● he had read the most celebrated of t●● French as well as English Divines, an● had a particular value for the Writings Monsieur Daille, and Dr. Isaac Barrow And now I shall no longer detain the Re●der from the perusal of his Life, than 〈◊〉 desire he may read it with a serious desig● to transcribe into his own, whatever he sh●● find in it worthy of his imitation.   

Edmund Trench  
March 10. 1684. My Father's Motto and my own.  2 Cor. 1.12. 
In Simplicity and Godly Sincerity.  Phil. 1.21. 
To me to Live is Christ, and to Die is Gain.  Phil. 3.8. 
I count all things but dung, that I may win Christ.  
Rarius de dogmatibus Christus disseruit, saepiùs, immo vero ubique & semper de vivendi sinceritate.  
Vivere bis, vitâ posse priore frui,  
Ampliat aetatis spatium sibi vir bonus.  
THE Title of Angel, sometime, given to Ministers, should mind 'em of imitating those Glorious Spirits, as far as may consist with the Frailties of flesh and blood, dividing their time betwixt beholding the Face of their Father in Heaven, and Ministering to the Heirs of Salvation.  
About 15 Years ago I wrote some Passages of my former Life, and have since occasionally added more. Present Afflictions occasion many and frequent Reflections on what I am, and what I have been: my Papers afford me some help, and may be more useful laid together; therefore I design the Sum of what I have written, and what further shall occur fit to be remembered. The Ends I aim at (as I formerly noted 'em) are,  
The Glory of God's free Grace in and through Jesus Christ my dearest Lord and Saviour, the sole Foundation of my Hope and Comfort.  
The Shaming and Humbling myself, that have so often, and do so heinously offend so good a God, and so merciful a Redeemer.  
The prevention of future Relapses by the remembrance of God's great Favours so undeservedly multiplied.  
The promoting of perseverance and growth in all manner of holy Conversation and Godliness by the Meditation of my past Follies, and the review of my thoughts, and resolves about my own Duty and Happiness in times of great affliction, and the approaches of Death to others, and seemingly to myself also.  
The furthering of Hope, and Peace, and Comfort, and Joy in such Seasons as they may be most necessary and useful.  
All through the Assistance of the Spirit of Grace, which I most humbly and earnestly implore.  

Some Things of those from whom I descended, for my Imitation and Encouragement.  
MY Grandfather was Edmund Trench, a younger Son of John, a Norfolk Gentleman, Converted about the 16th Year of his Age to the Faithful Service of God, by the Labours of Mr. Furnace, noted for Piety and Painfulness in those parts. By his Godly humble Conversation when his Master a Grocer in Norwich failed, he was recommended to two Brothers whose Name was Cock, of chief Rank in that City, who entrusted him with the management of their Trade in Stuffs at London. He abundantly answered their Expectation, and at length became their Brother, by Marrying the youngest of the three Daughters of Mr. Mowre, a Pious and Prudent Citizen of Norwich, and a Partner in the considerable Trade they drove, (the two Elder being their Wives before.) Many Years he enjoyed a large Portion of the Divine Blessing, thriving in his outward Estate, loved and honoured by his Fellow-Servants, rejoicing in divers hopeful Children, and above all, walking before God in Health and Holiness with great delight in his Service, and great assurance of his Favour. But as he would say, he found at last, He was not in Heaven. He was exercised with many losses (some very great) in his Estate, Sicknesses and Deaths in himself and nearest Relations, Doubts and Fears about his Eternal Condition, and, which were most grievous to him, horrid and blasphemous Thoughts and Suggestions. All these with Melancholy were more troublesome in his Old Age. Yet he persisted in his holy Course, exercising himself continually to keep a Conscience void of offence towards God and towards Men; constant in secret, private and public Prayer, reading the Holy Scriptures by himself, and Expounding 'em in his Family, Catechising his Children and Servants, examining 'em about and repeating for their use the public Labours of his Mionister, most just and equitable in his Trade and all his Deal, and eminently Charitable in helping others according to their several Wants. And God greatly blessed his Example and Instructions for the version and Consirmation of some Souls, especially those nearest to him. At length, in a good old Age, 83 Years and a half, he rested from all his Labours, and entered the Invisible World of Glorious Spirits, June 7. 1658. His Good Name lived long after, and is not yet dead among such as had to do with, or heard of him. My Grandmother survived almost 11 Years, a constant Professor of Religion, and, I hope, sincere Practifer also: she followed, March 16.166, almost 90 Years old.  
Of their Children, four only attained to Years of Discretion, whereof two Daughters were Married to Caldwell Furrington, and Tho. Bewley of London, Merchants; both happy before I was Born, as was likewise the Younger Son, dying about 18.  
Edmund the Eldest was Born July 8. 1608. always towardly, addicted to Seriousness, Study, and Piety in those Years that incline to Play and Folly. He answered his Parent's faithfulness in his Education with early goodness, owing (as far as I could understand) a new birth to those from whom he received a natural. In the 18th Year of his Age, from the care of his Schoolmaster Mr. Augur, he was sent to Sidney-Colledge in Cambridge, and committed to Mr.— Dugard, a Pious, Learned, and Painful Tutro. He grew in Grace and Learning, happily escaping many Temptations, and frustrating the Designs of some Superiors woe would have debauched a Puritan as they called him, tho' he was still sufficiently conformable to the established Ecclesiastical Orders. He performed his Exercises and proceeded Bachelor and Master with credit, and obtained an excellent report from his Tutor, and from the Master of the College, Dr. Ward. While he lived under 'em he was log exercised with a troublesome Distemper which many unpleasant means did not remove. How humbly and patiently he bore, and how excellently he improved so tedious an Affliction, I learned to my comfort and encouragement from many of his pious Letters among my Grand-father's Papers. They were sure a lively Picture of his Soul, which knew not how to dissemble at any time, much less when so sensibly under the hand of the heart-searching God. They flowed with holy resignation to his Will, quiet submission to his afflicting hand, earnest desires to understand his mind, to grow still more humble and patiented, and dead to this World, and better prepared for another. They abounded with thankful Expressions for their care, cost and pains, and especially to God for supporting under and making better by the troublesome returns of his Disease, not without admirable Expressions of Hope and Joy in the Love of God in Jesus Christ, witnessed by his Spirit, by such a happy Temper and Deportment for many Years before he found relief, he was doubtless better qualityed to do the Will of God in his following Health, and to suffer with such wonderful patience, submission and rejoicing, the grievous complication of Diseases that was for some time the forerunner of his Death. A while after he was Master of Arts, on due consideration, advice, and prayers, he studied Physic some time at Paris, and took the Degree of Doctor at Bourges. When returned to England he Married Mary  Daughter of Samnel Middlemore, Merchant of London, [a very Pious, Charitable Man in his Life, which he closed with a bountiful Gift to the Company of Clothworkers, for the Annual Relief of 20 Poor in Coals, , etc.] He dying after his Wife, when his Children were Young, committed 'em to Sir John Wollaston, and Mr. Thomas Burnell: The Daughters were happy in the faithfulness of the latter, and in their Religious Education under his Wife their Poius Aunt. The Elder, Mary, was Married to my Father, August 14. 1639. she then past the middle of her 17th. (Born Jan. 24. 1622.) he entered on his 32d Year. The Younger, Susan, was afterwards the Wife of Sincere and Humble Dr. Roger Drake.  
My Father was Faithful according to his enlarged Duty as a Husband, and after as a Father to myself and five other Sons (besides one Stillborn) and three Daughters, careful for our Souls and Bodies, sparing for nothing needful in Temporals, or Spirituals; exceeding loving and tender, and yet never that I could see or hear mourning for the Death of any, tho' he left but 3 behind. Having done his Duty wherein he was sufficiently follicitous, he cheerfully acquieseed in what pleased God. In his Education he was much helped by his true Yoke-fellow our good Mother, who though she had hard Travail to bring some of us, (particularly myself) into this World, yet travelled much more to fit us for a better. Through her assistance he followed his Practice with more leisure and comfort. His Employment was considerable, and which he more rejoiced in, his success. He was eminent for faithfulness to all that had recourse to him, frequently visiting, deliberately considering their Cases, watchfully observing the turns of their Distempers, and accordingly with great care and judgement varying his Prescriptions. His tender sense of their Souls greatly inclined him to discourse with and advise his Patients as Spiritual Physician, but he was often forced to forbear in dangerous cases, because he found by experience the Sick were apt to judge themselves past help when he spoke to 'em of another World, their Spirits sinking, and Remedies proving less effectual. In all his Practice he was generously free from Covetousness, not using any Tricks to increase it, nor unworthily seeking to, or humouring his Patients, weary of numerous though profitable Visits, and industriously speeding their Recovery, prescribing no more than he judged needful, and frequently refusing Fees which even his Patients thought he might as well have taken. He was still the same sincere  Man, free and open without Deceits and Tricks in his Calling and all other Affairs. And sure he was the more Blessed of God; otherwise considering he was no Politician, apt to believe the best, and trust as if others were as far from dissembling as himself, he could not have lived and brought up his Children as he did, nor, his Losses considered, left such a Competence to his Widow, and them. He constantly persevered in those good ways into which he was entered by his Parents, and when they grew old and very infirm, he made it more his business 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, and that even when grey Heirs grew upon himself, and his own Distempers increased the dissiculty of complying with others. About 50 he was troubled with the Stone, from which God's Blessing on his own Endeavours relieved him. But then about 8 Years before his Death, he fell into an incurable Jaundice, accompanied for a while with a Scirrbus in his Liver, frequent troublesome Itchings, Aguish Shivering of long continuance, little and disturbed sleep, violent Fits of the Colic, great Appetite with ill Digestion, and other very troublesome Symptoms. He bore all with exemplary Patience and Contentment, never that we could perceive repining at such severe Dispensations, nor ever praying for their removal, nor yielding, though importuned, to have one Day set apart to seek on his behalf. When we wished him a good Night in his Fits, he would reply, It should be good because it pleased God. He would rarely let any stay a Night by him, affirming, He was not alone, but the Father was with him. And with the Father he sometimes enjoyed more Heavenly Communion, which yet was not constant and long as his Peace and Hope were; they hardly admitted any interruption, but he generally longed to be Dissolved and to be with his God and Saviour, and spoke thereof often with delight.  
In the Year 65. when the Plague began to rage (the Weekly Account amounting to about 3000) the importunity of Friends drew him with us to Dr. Drake's in Burnham, 2 Miles short of Maidenhead, where yet he was more in Reading, Meditation and Prayer. He expressed a still greater sense of the Love of God in Christ, and of his truth and goodness in afflicting him. He professed his Soul more established thereby with a powerful Conviction of all Creatures Vanity, and raised to more vigorous actings of a realizing Faith in holy Heavenly Meditations, That the sweetness and prosit thereof in his Retirements were such, that he feared the return of his usual Employment, and should be afraid of losing his wearisome affliction, without great assurance that Health should be as spiritually advantageous as Sickness; professing his constant Judgement that the least Progress in Grace and Holiness was greater matter of Joy, than the greatest Affliction of Sorrow. He judged it very unbecoming a Christian for Sense so far to prevail against Reason and Faith, as to raise any considerable Averseness from drinking of that Cup which his Sovereign Lord and tender Father most wisely prepared for his good. Accordingly he desired his Friends to show their Love in praying for a progressive sanctify'd Improvement of his Sufferings, and not for their Removal, and wished 'em comfortably to believe there was no such harm in affliction as we are apt to imagine. The Fire of London removed him first to an House near Stepncy, and soon after to another in Crouched-Friars, where he cheerfully expected his deliverance by Death. 1669. he grew confident of its approach. Aug. 14. being his Wedding-day, he rejoiced with some Invited Friends, affirming it the last he should live on Edrth. October he spoke of his sensible Decays as Tokens of his near desired Rest. About the middle of December he caused his Will to be new drawn, ordering particularly that Clause to be inserted, That he commended his Soul on good Evidence into the hands of God, adding, that he left us much less than the World imagined, but he hoped God's Blessing with it, having never wronged any Man of a Penny. A Day after (14 before he died) when I was discoursing of his dissolution, he said, He could appeal to God through his infinite goodness, that since his Youth he had walked before him with an upright heart, never wasting his Conscience with any gross sin, that he comfortably believed his Regeneration by the Holy Spirit and saving Interest in his dearest Saviour, and had accordingly enjoyed a constant Tranquillity of Mind, not without some short and seldom more ravishing Joys. He then renewed his oft repeated Charge of loving and serving God, being dutiful to our Mother, and helpful to our little Sister, which yet he said, he did not doubt of, and to our great comfort Blessed myself and Brother, blessing God also for us. Perceiving his Distempers and sore Mouth to increase, he took a solemn leave of my Mother, telling her with Joy, he was going to his God, and her God, and that 'ere long they should meet to part no more. After which he bid us not expect to hear much from him, but believe his mind still the same. Accordingly he persisted, bearing patiently his grievous pains, yet saying little, tho' enough to signific his uninterrupted hope and joy till Friday 31. ●●●●mb. 1669. when after some imperfect Words, but 2 hours before, of ●●ath, and Christ, and Pardon, his Spirit returned to his Heavenly Father, and instead of a New-Year on Earth, caused a glorious Eternity in Heaven. 〈◊〉 lives still in the honourable Re●●●●rance of such as knew him, ne●●● mentioned, to my knowledge, with reproach; oft with Eulogies of his Piety, Sincerity, Ability, and Faithsulness, as a Man, a Friend, and a Physician. Some (I doubt bad themselves) commended his Goodness, acknowledging the common (though I think unjust) reproach of his Calling could not be fastened on him.  
O may I by the help, and to the Glory of Divine Grace, imitate such excellent Examples, and not degenerate from 'em, but serve God with all my might, according to my Father's Symbol, In Simplicity, and godly Sincerity. My Grandsather was a Pattern of Humility and Meckness, and yet of Resolution when there was a Cause; of great Charitableness in Word and Deed, especially to his Relations who had great Sums from him, which yet his Children did not want. He was likewise an eminent Instance, that Doubts and Fears, and horrid Suggestions may infest the truly, yea the excellently Good; and that great Losses and Crosses in Estate and Kindred may consist with God's especial Favour. My Father set me a bright Example of Integrity and Plain-heartedness, of Content and Rejoicing under heavy Afflictions, of affectionate Faithfulness in all his Relations, and of conscientious Diligence in his particular Calling; and he was an encouraging Instance of a Divine Blessing on such as seek first the Kingdom of God and his Righteousness, and cast their Care on him in well-doing; his Estate having been preserved and increased though great hazard and losses without worldly Policy. Both led and engaged to Earliness and Constancy in God's Service, secret, private, and public; to a faithful discharge of every Office of Love to all they had to do with, to a sober, righteous, and godly Life, in hope of a future satisfying everlasting Felicity.  
From such I entered on my earthly Pilgrimage, Octob. 6. 1643. about 5 in the Evening, after my Mother had been 3 Days in painful dangerous Travail. I was born with a great Wound in my Head, supposed by a blow of a great bossed Bible, as my Mother came out of Church: That was healed, and afterwards many Diseases and hurt in my Childhood, both Thigh-bones dislocated together: Afterwards an Arm broken, well set, no harm remaining. During my tender years, I was my Parent's immediate Care in London and Hackney, from whom, and my good Grandfather, (whose Diversion I often was) I wanted not Instruction, Example, and Encouragement; and so far I seemed to answer their Endeavours, that they delighted much in me. But I well remember, and thou, O Lord, much more, abundance of Wickedness I was guilty of, Disobedience to Parents, indulging my Appetite to excess, taking or stealing what was not allowed; quarrelling especially with my next Brother Samuel, whom I should have born with, considering his woeful Affliction by the King's Evil; Pride in Apparel, or what Abilities and Acquirements I had; Envy, mispence of Time in Romances, Plays, idle Stories, etc. too much play and lying. All aggravated by so many and great Mercies and Means, such singular Love and Light, that I have often thought my Sins more heinous than theirs that I have seen going to Execution: They were never so engaged, never enjoyed such helps as I. Have mercy upon me, O Lord, according to thy great goodness, and blot out my Transgressions, for my Saviour's sake.  
Towards the end of my 15th Year, I was sent to Cambridge with Mr. Samuel Jacomb, and by him placed in Queen's College, under the Tuition of Mr. Andrew Paschall: There I got the Love and good Report of my Tutor and others, but was far from deserving it: I made a shift to do the Exercises required, but woefully neglected my Studies; sadly addicted to Tennis, Cards, and other expensive forbidden Sports, to reading Romances, Plays, and smutry Poets; and at length more entangled with had Company, especially in the absence of my studious and loving Chamber-fellow, (afterwards Sir J. K. an eminent Lawyer of the Inner-Temple, taken off when rising in Riches and Honour.) By them I was drawn once and again to Gluttony and Drunkenness, Swearing and Cursing, and at last to making (as they called it) indeed to stealing of Handkerchiefs, Knives, Books, or what else we could lay our hands on. This was a common shameless practice: and suffering thereby from others, I thought I might right myself. It was God's goodness that I went no farther, having been tempted to go with 'em to naughty Women, which (my Inclination considered) I wonder I never did. Blessed be God who still restrained me, till my Chamber-fellow leaving the College, and some other Obstacles being happily removed, when I was most in danger: My Father who suspected nothing, but thought too well of me, thought sit for other Reasons I should remove to Oxford: Thither I went towards the end of 1660, to Magdalen-Hall: Before that Year expired, I proceeded Batcheler, which to Doctor's Sons (at least the eldest) was then permitted at 12 years standing: Performing the usual Exercises on that occasion, I was unexpectedly engaged among some who were too excessively debauched for me. they stirred in me some abhorrence, as bad as I was, and drove me to better Acquaintance, and God cast me on such as were not only of a better temper, but really Pious, for whom I think my Parent's tincture had in some measure prepared me. I thought such Company would please them, and (praised be God) it soon grew pleasant to myself also. By their Converse especially, and reading good Books (though I also heard the best Ministers) those good Principles were awakened, which my Parents had sown, and they soon became vigorously active for Repentance and sruitful Obedience. I reslected on my Sins with shame and sorrow; I oft confessed and bewailed 'em before God with bitter Anguish and detestation: They soon turned my langhing into weeping, my usual cheansulness into a very sorrowful medancholy, and filled me with Self-abhorrence, Dread, and Horror. In such a Condition I continued, though mercifully supported a long time, getting by degrees more gleams of light and intervals of Hope and Comfort. The Sin that was most troublesome to undo, was my taking (as before) several Things from others: I thought Restitution my Duty, though I thought I might take as I did to right myself. St. Auslin's saying, Non remittitur peccatum, nisi restituatur ablatum, struck me like Tlmnder, and I had no rest till I parted with all, even with what I had from them that had wronged me. But shame and inconsideration betrayed me to a course that afterwards increased my trouble: I wrote to one too guilty himself, and that had made me worse: He professed Repentance, and readiness to assist and imitate me in Restitution: and upon his repeated Engagements, I sent him all I could think of, not my own in kind or value, and then was quiet as to that matter: [How his Friend served him, you'll hear anon.] As to other Faults, my way was plain: I left off every course of Sin and Folly, those defended Games which had so wasted my time, sine and fashionable Clothes, and all bad and vain Company. I grew constant in secret and public Duties of Religion, and conversed with and imitated those I thought most strictly good. God's Service was my Design, doing good my Work, and in order thereto, I grew more and more inclined to the study of Divinity, and had more delight in the beginning thereof. Many Favours I received from God, among which a lignal Deliverance of my Chamber-fellow Mr Foley, and myself, ought not to be forgotten: Washing in the River, h● who could not swim, desired me to hold him by the Hair, which while did, swimming with my other Arm: we were gotten out of our depths, so that at length seeking for ground, we both sunk under water; my escape seemed easy, but then I lost him therefore I clasped as I could his middle with my right Arm, and so made a shift to reach the Shallows. God gave me strength, and kept him, though his Head was under water, from laying hold or struggling, which might have destroyed us both. To thee, O Lord, the traise; To us thankfuliness in a fruitful I●se.  
After almost two Years abode at Oxfor, I left that University also, being sent about 7 Months after to Leyden by my good Father, who was willing I should study Physic. Before I went, I understood his unfaithfulness whom I had trusted to right those I had wronged; and left with a better Man more than I could think due to any, except those myself righted.  
In Holland I enjoyed good Company, good Ministry, and my more intimate Converse with P. C. was useful: We only were together in a Dutch Papist's House, where he laboured exceedingly under great Terrors and Sorrows for Sin; having many bitter Pangs and long Agonies, with plenty of Tears and Cries: which the Papist taking notice of, charged our Religion as uncomfortable. I helped him as I could: He recovered by degrees, yet not fully till after our return to England. My Affection increased with his Scriousness, deadness to this World, and vigour for a better, with the Thought whereof he seemed wholly taken up. His Friends and himself at length inclining to his Marriage, at their desire, I recommended him to a Gentlewoman wished to me: He was not then accepted, but afterwards revived his Suit, and by other help obtained her. I refused to act farther, being dissatisfied with that change of his Company, Garb, and Carriage, etc. that followed his Father's death, and his own remove to Grey's-Inn. I had Reason to be glad, I did no more: for having obtained the Gentlewoman, (who proved desirable, so inclined to Virtue, that he professed he must be very faulty, if she proved not very good.) He brought her to Lincoln's-Inn Fields, engaged her in vain Company, carried her to Plays, Entertainments, etc. I lovingly though plainly represented his Faults and Duty, and prayed for him not without appearance of Success; he removing into the Country and living more restrainedly. But he grew strange to me, and I have some reason to fear the worst. Thou, O Lord, hear and help, and recover out of the Snare of the Devil. Keep me (though believing the best) from confidence in Man, and from making of Matches, seeing one, of whose Piety I had such assurance, hath so grossly failed; and let all make me more humble and watchful.  
I saw at Leyden and other places, (notwithstanding their reformed Discipline) reason enough to love my own Country still better; and therefore my inclination to Divinity still continuing, though I had made some progress in Physic, after about a years absence, I returned, 1664, continuing with my Parents at London, till the Plagve and Fire for awhile removed us. Midsummer, 1688, we came to Crouched-Fryars, and with my Brother was happy in comforting and diverting my Father, till we were Witnesses of his blessed Departure.  
He left beside myself, dear Brother Thomas, born Apr. 14, 1648. We always loved, and can hardly remember any quarrel between us. The youngest Sister Sarah also survived, born May 23.— May we see her Newborn; May I do my Duty to promote it!  
Soon after my Father's death, I was seized by a Feavourish Distemper, accompanied with Hypochondriac winds, etc. which continued, and enforced serious Consideration: I found in myself a great change; Prayer and Reading had above 7 Years been my constant practice: I was temperate in Meats, Drinks, Apparel, etc. I hope truly humble; scrupulously careful to do no wrong, losing rather. I gave the Poor constantly the 10th, and of late the 7th part of my Income. Oaths and Curses which once and again I had been guilty of, I long since abhorred, and could not hear without trouble. Yet I was dejected, that though I had pleased and rejoiced my Parents, I had not been in all things so complying as I should; and yet more, because I had not so diligently improved my Time for God as I might; I hope I hearty repent, denying myself, and bearing Inconveniences for my good Mother, and resolving on greater Diligence in doing & getting good. I was likewise anxious whether Restitution were certainly made for the wrongs I had done in Cambridge 10 Years before; and determined to inquire and do what was further requisite. I was sensible of the kindness of this Affliction in the aforesaid search and resolves, and in a farther change of my Temper, growing more meek, humble, and charitable: I felt more my own vicious Impotence, and the necessity of Divine Grace, as being, having, and doing nothing good, but as the Spirit makes me every moment.  
Before I recovered from this Sickness, I was forsaken by my thoughts of Conforming (to the established Church, by submitting to the Terms imposed on Ministers) to which I had been sufficiently inclined by the Reasons and Examples of several pious and judicious Persons. The formidable Horrors of my Conscience, the dread of their return by reason of some doubts I could not well remove, determined me rather to a private Life, which I desired to render as useful as I might.  
[I remember when I was one Day discoursing him about Ministerial Conformity, he told me, 'Twas the Declaration of Assent and Consent to all things contained in, and prescribed by the Book of Common-Prayer, and the Form and manner of Ordaining and Consecrating Bishops, Priests, and Deacons, that he chief stuck at, and could not think that Declaration could be sincerely made by such whose Judgements disapproved so many Things in those Two Books, as his did: And he was the more confirmed in his Aversion to so ensnaring a Declaration, by observing several others of his Acquaintance that had made it, (though under the same dissatisfaction with himself, concerning several Things contained in these Books) by giving it a loser Construction than he thought the Words capable of, to become less strict and conscientious in other Duties of Religion, than they had been before: Which visible declension from their former seriousness and circumspection, he was afraid might flow from their having too far suffered their Judgement to be swayed and biased by their Interest, in a matter of so great Importance.]  
Hackney, Sept. 10. 1670.  
I returned from Deal after 3 Days stay with my dear Brother going to Aleppo: I parted sadly with one so dear in the strictest bands of Love and Nature; yet we encouraged ourselves in our good God, whose Favour we had so experienced together, and hoped we should still enjoy when so far asunder. I desired all might make me more long and labour after, and prepare for Heaven, where Friends part not bitterly any more, and where God is All in All for ever.  
Hackney, Octob. 11. 1670.  
I grew ill of a Quartan Ague, as it quickly proved: My Prayers were for Christian Patience and Wisdom to bear the worst, and make a good Improvement of all, that God might be glorified, myself and others bettered, and Christ more comfortably in life and death Advantage.  
June 20. 1671.  
Trying Enfield-Air, for removing my Ague, I road into the Chase, and being among the Trees thoughtful and careless, my Horse by a great and sudden start, turned me first on his Crupper, and erelong on the ground; yet only tore my Clothes among the Trees and Bushes. I was forced to walk back to Coz. Farrington's, in the heat, which turned my expected Cold into a violent Sweat. I desired thankfully to remember that Preservation in such apparent danger, and to be sensible of God's good Providence, as oft as I ride, and no such danger appears; and to be still as careful to perform, as I was ready to resolve and vow.  
Hackney, Apr. 22. 1672.  
Scorbutic Pains and melancholy Fumes much discomposed me, though I had no more Ague-fits, etc. Yet they were not so much my trouble, as the Diseases of my Soul: My Prayers were for more Grace, that I might not relapse, but grow myself, and make others also more holy; that my Charity might be greater, the Defects thereof pardoned; that my own Sins might lie heavier, and Afflictions lighter:— Vre, seca, Domine, modo non in aeternum.  
July 26. 1672.  
Melancholy Fumes exceedingly disturbed and unsitted my Mind for any Service: I doubted I should live useless, and apprehended God was taking the forfeiture of those Parts and Abilities I had abused. I prayed for Health, and Powers, and Opportunities to serve God, and be useful to Men, vouching the sincerity of my Heart; yet presently retracting, having found it so deceitful, and beseeching Mercy and help for my Saviour's sake.  
Though urged, and on some accounts disposed to Marry, I chose rather to continue single, because I feared such a change would rather hinder God's cheerful faithful Service; I should have less Time, less Money for good Uses, and not be in a capacity to embrace some mean Opportunity of serving God in Public, like what some had, who could not go farther than myself. I appeal to God, begging his Blessing according (as I hoped) to the uprightness of my Heart.  
Decem. 30. 1672.  
I was, I hope, truly desirous of being useful, and endeavoured by several ways to help our own Family towards Heaven: I was sensible of the Duty and Comfort thereof, and was excited by what I heard of Bishop Wilkins, from such as visited him when he was entering on Eternity.  
He had no anxious Thoughts about his everlasting Condition, which (as he said) many others better than himself had; He approved his own Moderation and the Establishment of the Church of England, only wished some Things amended, and the Management in the Hands of good and prudent Men. He regarded not his Universal Character, which had much impaired his Health; but when spoken to about a Latin Version of it, desired not to be troubled about it, professing his Comfort and Joy, that since his Promotion to Chester, he had encouraged and furthered Preaching of Christ.  
My Prayers were that I might not be negligent in my own Sphere, but act to the utmost of my Power for my Lord's Glory, and my own Comfort.  
Hackney, March. 24.  
I was strangely troubled on a small occasion; a Friend having some discourses of a good deceased Bishop S.— and it being judged expedient to make 'em public, I delivered 'em to a Bookseller, who having Printed one without Licence, was afraid to Sell it. I was not concerned however, knowing the Discourse inoffensive to my Superiors. But I was quickly troubled that I did not my own Work, nor as I would be done to, Publishing what the worthy Author had kept private, and without their leave that had right to it, (as possibly some had) and occasioning others to break the Laws in Printing without Licence. I endeavoured to calm the Storm, but it raged the more, till I could neither wake nor sleep, talk nor cat in quiet; nor was it laid till I took off and made away the Impression, and returned my Friend the other Writings. I desired to learn how constantly I depended on God, and without his good Providence, should daily break my peace, and destroy myself: And I resolved, since so small a Failure had cost me so dear, I would be more watchful against all Degrees of Sin, and do nothing without more Deliberation and Prayer.  
Hackney, April 10. 1673.  
By a Letter from the Lord Drummond, Son to the Earl of Perth, written at the request of my dying Friend Mr. Patrick Drummond; I had some account of his last Hours, full of Heavenly Expressions, concerning the Love of God, and of affectionate Prayers for his Friends, and particularly for myself; Which, O Lord, answer! About 18 or 19 Years before, the Calamities of his Country having driven him up to London, where he was well entertained by my Uncle Bewley, to Teach his Son; I likewise was a with his Care, and he confidently 〈◊〉 I would study Divinity: and though my Inclination and Carriage afterwards, especially at Cambridge, 〈◊〉 my Friends and self judge he was mistaken; yet he persisted in the same Opinion, and lived to rejoice with myself in the Event. May my dear Friend's Memory be sweet and useful as to myself, so to his other Friends, and particularly to that Lord, who savoured me with this Account. My Friend was wont to express a great Honour for, and Hope of him, especially for Religion. May he still exceed himself, honour God, and be useful in his Country; and do the more good, because (alas) so many do none, or worse. O that God would change them, and make more great Persons Great and Public Blessings, for our dear Saviour's sake.  
Hackney, May 22. 1673.  
I had groaned many Days under great trouble of Mind, occasioned at first by some discourse about Sacrilege, and a Story of Dr. Holdsworth, who hearing one express great hopes of good from the long Parliament; he replied, He would have none expect it, since Parliaments so sacrilegiously alienated Church-Lands. I think I had heard as much formerly without being concerned, but now I immediately apprehended, If the Alienation were sinful, so was the detention; and thence I might become guilty of Sacrilege, if I should enjoy an Estate taken long since from the Hospital of St. Bartholomew the Less, in Smithfield, bought by my Father at above 20 Years purchase, after divers preceding Alienations, and left by him after my Mother's Life to me.  
My Terrors increased by reading about Sacrilege, the Forms of ancient Dedication, with Curses, etc. 
* Of his se●●●●●●ion in ●●fer●●●● to this ma●ter; see afterwards.   
Thence Conscience ran backward, examined the material Passages of my Life, racked me with tormenting Scruples about Matters of Meum & Tuum, and fill'd me with frightful Representations not only of my quondam Cambridge Sinful-follies, but of my following Actions, for Father and Self, (in reference to the forementioned Estate:) So that I was strangely jealous I had some way done amiss, tho' very confident that since my Repenting and Restoring (1661. 12 Years before) I had ever studiously and scrupulously endeavoured to do as I would be done unto. Nor could I six on any particular Failure, unless on selling two Horses last Year 
* Of this also afterwards. . Then I questioned whether my Attempts to satisfy such as I had wronged (while at Cambridge) had succeeded; and St. Austin's Saying, Non remittitur, etc. made me tremble. I also feared I had profaned the Lord's Supper: and when on search I began to hope I had not, I charged myself with rash presumption, in thinking of so high and holy a Calling (as the Ministry) which such base former Sins would disgrace. My Perplexities were lamentable: I had recourse to God by Prayer, though not sufficiently frequent and fervent; and I consulted his Word and Servants.  
I could not find it was any Sin for me who had sinned so much, and perhaps hardened some, to endeavour the reclaiming of others: I found great Sinners had been (after Conversion) used by the Holy God as chosen Instruments of his Grace; and remembered many late Examples guilty of Sins materially equal, if not greater than mine, whom yet God blest with eminent Success and Comfort.  
My fear of disgracing Religion seemed very unreasonable; the Sins known to few, very few and far off, so many Years since repent of and forsaken! and my Conversation (though needing manifold pardon from God) having long gained too favourable a Repute among Men. Therefore though most unworthy to be honoured by God, to do him any Service towards the Salvation of any poor Creature; yet I could not but think it lawful, yea my Duty to endeavour it to the utmost of my Capacity and Power; and thereon resolved to reject and resist such Suggestions as Temptations to Sin against my Duty.  
[As to the Restitution wherein his Friend had so unworthily disappointed him, he here sets down all the Particulars wherein he could remember any wronged, and by whom he had made Restitution in all more than double the value, and in most much more, and thus concludes.]  
Thus for less than 4. l. at the utmost value, I paid with a great deal of shame & trouble about 15 l. and I gave 20 l. extraordinary to the Poor. I would all that wronged me knew I forgave them, though none made me Satisfaction, except 3 l. from one that desired to be concealed, were on that account.  
Some Advantage I found by my Troubles in this Affair.  
1. I found much Pride within me, and was hereby made base and vile in my own Eyes, and willing to be so in others.  
2. I minded too much what was less needful, and these Distractions drove me to the Essentials of Religion, and made me mind them more.  
3. I was more convinced of my own Impotency and Nothingness, and of my constant dependence on God for Duty and Comfort: I found Reasons and Arguments nothing till God enabled me after another manner to apply them.  
4. I was more sensible of the Necessity and Use of Prayer.  
5. I understood better the condition of the Scrupulous, that their Troubles were not to be slighted as proceeding from Weakness and Folly; but to be tenderly managed: and that the withdrawings of the Spirit are something beside Melancholy, though that may be joined with them.  
6. I was warned byall to walk more circumspectly, that I might not provoke my Heavenly Father thus to chasten me: and instead of Controversies, especially about small and mysterious Matters, to study more the practical Life of Faith in nearer Communion with the blessed Fountain of Holiness, Peace, and Joy.  
My Scruples about the Horses I sold had as little grounds as almost any other. I repeated my Charge to those that sold them, to speak truth, neither denying nor using any means to conceal any Fault: Only I doubted I was not sufficiently careful to have the Buyers acquainted with all I knew myself. It being the Rule of an Heathen, Tully; Ne quid omnino quod venditor novit, emptor ignoret. Yet I could not learn the Buyers were damaged, nor say they paid too dear; and good Men laughed at my Scruples, professing themselves would do as I had done.  
[How happy were civil Societies, if all acted in their Contracts with so strict and conscientious Justice! The comprehensive Rule of Righteousness between Man and Man, delivered by our Saviour, Matth 7. ver. 12. includes this of Tully as one branch of it. What a vile Reproach is it then to the Christian Profession, that so many thousands that make it, should in their Deal fall short of the Rules of Justice laid down by an Heathen Moralist.]  
As to the danger of Sacrilege, which gave the first Alarm, old Evidences showed, that about or above 130 Years before 1673. Ducats belonged to the little Hospital of St. Bartholomew in West-Smithfield, and was Leased by the Master and Brethren for 10 l. per annum, and some Money towards Repair of their Church, and Relief of their Poor. The Result of my Reading, Consideration and Prayer, was to this effect:  
1. The first Alienation did not appear to be Sacrilege; i. e. A stealing or converting to their own use what was Sacred, lawfully set apart to God, nor yet robbing of the Poor.  
2. There wanted Evidence of a right Dedication to God, directed and accepted by him. To pass by the Censers of Corah, etc. Num. 16.16, 17.37, 38. if not hallowed at first by particular Divine Appointment: yet afterwards as a Monument of their Sin and Punishment, there were express Commands, or at least sufficient general Directions which regulated the separating of Things to God; and what was set apart agreeably to such Warrants, was sacred, and belonged to God indeed. Thus Tithes, Cities and Suburbs for the Priests and Levites under the Law were holy, (if not the former with Houses and Glebes for Ministers also under the Gospel) and so were the First-Fruits, and other commanded and directed Offerings. But Histories make it doubtful whether what was separated in those dark times, was according to any sufficient Divine Warrant and Direction; or rather from the cheating Extortion of covetous Priests, and the superstitious Errors of ignorant Laics, without Scripture-Rule or End; too oft 'tis to be feared not more acceptable to God, than what he forbade of old, the hire of a Whore, or the price of a Dog.  
2. Alienations were excessive, contrary to the common good; Therefore though they had been otherwise regular, not allowed, and consequently not accepted by God. He bounded Dedication of old, and it was not lawful to exceed the measure in what he most expressly required. When the People had offered enough for the Tabernacle, they were forbid to bring any more. Levi was to have no Inheritance, only Dwellings with Fields so many Cubits round. The Reasons of such Commands hold, clearing and strengthening the Law of Nature, and Statutes of Mortmain, etc. against excessive Alienations to religious or charitable Uses; and for translating what was superstitious, noxious, and therefore unlawfully separated. Such seems to have been our case. The Clergy excessively supernumerary and debauched, and as excessively endowed; Though not an hundred part of the Kingdom, yet having, as was computed, a fifth, (nay, as some, a fourth part or more) of the prime Lands thereof. Such vast superfluous Revenues might be judged rather a provocation of God, than an acceptable Dedication to him: and therefore aught to be removed into a righter Channel. Hence they that alienated such Lands, might not dread those terrible Curses inserted in the dedication of them, or otherwise thundered out against the Alienators thereof. If God had bid 'em curse, or in some cases from Superiors or Parents, 'twere dreadful. But when such Curses proceed from Error, are unjust and uncharitable, Prov. 26.2. like a restless Bird flying fearfully away; the causeless Curse, as if afraid to come near the Innocent, shall be far off, never hurt; therefore should not be superstitiously regarded.  
2. If any of those Lands were unlawfully alienated, and Restitution therefore a Duty: they that ordered and acted were the Persons bound to it; or they being long dead, My Lord Bacon (as I remember) thought that following Parliaments were concerned; not particular Persons, who may lawfully possess what was at first unlawfully alienated upon prescription, purchase, etc. Judg. 11. with Deut. 2. Though the Israelites were not to meddle with the Moabites or Ammonites, nor to have any of their Land for a Possession; yet having taken a large Country from the Amorites, of which they had dispossessed the other, Jephtha justified the keeping of it against the claim of the King of the Ammonites, (and it seems of the Moabites also, (or at least confederate with them) by a threefold Plea: 1. That the Country was taken from Sihon and his Amorites, and not from the Moabites or Ammonites. 2. They gained it in a just War approved by God, Josh. 13.24. 3. They had long enjoyed it, towards 300 years, the round Sum mentioned.  
I thought I might make the like defence.  
This Estate belonged to Sir Stephen Scot's Heirs, after various preceding Alienations by Purchase, Descent, etc.  
2. 'Twas purchased by my Father in the simplicity of his heart at a full Price; and if I survived my Mother, would fairly descend to me.  
3. It had been enjoyed towards 140 Years, since taken from the Hospital, a larger prescription than usually required to consirm Estates; Possessiones five privatae sive publicae praescriptione longi temporis confirmantur. Else there would be no end of Scruples, Contention, and Confusion.  
3. Restitution was made in full measure by King Edward the Sixth, the Hospital advanced to a better Condition, and the Church to a Parish-Church.  
Weaver's Funeral Monuments. The Hospital of little St. Bartholomew in West Smithfield, for the Poor and Diseased, founded by Raherne first Prior, and Founder of the Priory of Great St. Bartholomew, to be governed by a Master and Eight Brethren Priests; (as Speed, black Canons) for the Church, and Four Sisters, to see the Poor served, valued at the Suppression at 305 l. 6 s. 7 d.  
Speed agrees, naming the last Prior Balton for a great Benefactor.  
Stow 's Survey. Hospital of St. Bartholomew valued at the Suppression, 1539. 31 of H. 8. at 305 l. 6 s. 7 d. Restored 1546. by King Edward the Sixth, with the Messages of Gilt-Spur-Street, Burton-Street, Peter-Key, Old Fish-Street, and St. Bennet, Hulda Limehurst, in Stepney, besides very large Collections from the Citizens, so that it was New-built 1553. since much augmented.  
So that  was the first Dedication, besides all to be said for the excessive Alienation of Mortmains, and yet more for retaining after so long a Prescription, seeing the Church was restored, if not continued to the Parish, and in 7 Years the Hospital also Rebuilt, and better Endowed out of King Edward's Estate, and by his Influence: I thought I had no occasion to scruple the enjoyment of Ducats, if it should descend to me: as many better than I, enjoy without scruple Estates, for which they have not so much to say.  
Hackney, March 31. 1674.  
My Days were chequered with Duties and Failings, Hopes and Fears, Joys and Griefs: My Desires, and, I hope, sincere Endeavours, were for stronger Resolutions, more vigorous and lively Affections, ardenter Love, and sweeter Joy in a holy dependence on, Resignation and Obedience to my God, that I might through Grace writ down more matter of Praise and Joy in perpetual well-doing; for my dearest Saviour's sake.  
Hackney, July 28. 1674.  
I had in some sincere manner (I hope) served God, and still mourned after a public Opportunity in any tolerable Circumstances, on such terms as I could come up to, like what I heard some (though straiter than I) enjoyed. I was willing to take Episcopal Orders, if I could have had them; but did not think 'em absolutely necessary to occasional Preaching under some public Minister, which I would have rested and rejoiced in; an useless life being very burdensome. I thought God called me to serve him as I could: I had enough of such Testimonies as the Bishops usually required. I was far from slighting the solemn Investing Rite, very ready to seek it of them, when judged attainable and expedient in my Circumstances. I had likewise observed it ordinary in the Universities to Preach long without Orders as Probationers, etc. and accordingly thought myself obliged not to refuse any inoffensive opportunity of doing good by Preaching, where it was wanted, particularly for our aged Vicar Mr. Timpsion, who greatly needed help, and had sometimes no better than mine.  
Hadley, Decem. 11. 1674.  
Having on repeated Invitation taken a Journey to Glastenbury near Cranbroke in Kent; I had there proposed for a Wife, Mrs. Bridget Roberts, Daughter to the Lady of that Name. I was little (if at all) affected with the Honour, nor was the Portion so great as I had been tempted with elsewhere: But there was desirable assurance of Piety, Humility, good Temper, Industry, and Frugality, and withal a fairer Opportunity of inoffensive Usefulness than had yet offered in my Circumstances.  
[After some account of his Courtship, and the Remora's he met with, but at last overcame in it, he adds.]  
Tuesday, Octob. 5. 1675. we were Married in Glaslenbury-Chappel, myself at the end of my 32d. Year, my Wife not 18. by Mr. Monckton Vicar of Brenchly, Sir Thomas giving her, her Mother, other Brother and Sister, and a few besides present. I praised God who had enabled us to follow him our Ruler, Guide, and End; and had at length cleared our way, and brought us into that near relation. I prayed it might be sanctified and improved to the great ends which I hope we sincerely aimed at.  
All this while I endeavoured, not without some sinccess, that others might be the better, not the worse for me.  
May 29. 1676. Glastenbury.  
On my return, I set about doing good in the Family and Neighbourhood, having seriously considered my Duty to God, my Superiors, and others, and likewise their Circumstances among whom I was then to live.  
The Family and others accustomed to the old Chapel at Glastenbury, being two Miles or more from the Church, prejudiced against the established Worship, and the next Minister, the Vicar of G—, especially Th. a drunken impertinent Sot, that distasted many conformable enough, and made 'em approve more private Help. I still dealt openly as I had done before Marriage, declaring my desire of more public Service, readiness to read Common Prayer, almost all, going sometimes to the neighbouring Churches, and joining in the Liturgy; and letting them know my practice of Communicating, and that kneeling. I drew none to our private Meeting, but blamed such as came from good Ministers, professing I would not keep up a separate Congregation, but only while it appeared expedient help for such as were so ill provided. I proceeded with more Confidence and Comfort, because I had no trouble, nor heard of any dislike from the more conformable Neighbours, and was more confirmed in the moderate course I had taken by the impotent Censures of some uncharitable Persons. My Prayers were to know my Duty, and do it, pleasing God, though I displeased Man.  
Glastenb. Sept. 20. 1676.  
[He here gives some Account of some Scruptes about his Wife's Portion, occasioned by a Report of her great Grandfather dying in Debt, and the clear Satisfacti●●●e attained upon an exact Enquiry into that Affair.]  
I was also thankful for God's Assistance in doing good, for Health and Eyesight, Love, and Kindness in my Relations, Success of my Affairs, mirigating, shortening, and sanctifying Troubles, etc. My Prayerers were for Increase of Grace and Comfort, for more of the true Christian Spirit of Love to all, even to the  and Unkind, that Love might be the commanding frame and temper of my Soul.  
Glastenb. July 5. 1677.  
Troublesome censorious dividing Spirits had occasioned more thoughts of those unhappy Controversies about Forms, Ceremonies, Church-Government, etc. And I was still more satisfied, even when most serious, that the bitter extremes of Dissenters, (as well as of rigid Conformisis) were very displeasing to God: That Spiritual Pride, narrow-spirited mistakes, and grievous wresting of the holy Scriptures, were the evil roots of unchristian Divisions and real Schisins: I was much troubled at such Uncharitable and Love-killing Principles and Practices; yet had cause to be thankful that there was more Light and Love amongst those that came to the Meeting at Glastenbury, which I still endeavoured to increase.  
I thankfully hoped I had not been wholly unfruitful, and owned God's very gracious Deal in all my Afflictions in many respects, particularly for regarding my Weakness, removing one trouble before another came, and supporting under all.  
Again, Praises for comfortable Converse, Success in my Affairs, some progress in getting and doing good, and a life of Love, in some measure, according to God's Ordinance, with my Dear for two Years past.  
Glastenb. Sept. 22. 1679.  
I was awakened the beginning of the Year by apprehension of greater Afflictions which I attempted to prepare for: I found I thought matter for Praises, in what I had been and done, to be sure in many Favours for Body and Soul, which I was concerned more thankfully to improve. I was several times still more affected with the increasing woeful Effects of Church-diusions. I thought (and think still) I might appear to God, his Word was my Rule for Peace, which by Study and Prayer I endeavoured to understand; but I could not judge concurrence with narrow-souled unreasonable Enemies of Peace, any other than Conspiracy against it. I therefore openly and honestly disowned and opposed the uncharitable sinful Courses some took: My Desires, Prayers, and Endeavours were, that Professors might have more sound Knowledge and Humility, and walk in the good ways of Catholick-Truth, Love, and Peace. My Praises flowed from freedom fro● unpleasant Extremes, from untoward Wranglings about little Things, and from losing holy Love, and the Vitals of Religion in unchristian irrational Heats about the less necessary variable Circumstances thereof. The mischief of such Courses grew daily more and more evident, and accordingly my Resolutions against them: I was again and again thankful for many other continued and increased Favours, especially for my Faithfulness and Success in doing Good.  
[It was a little before this time that the good Providence of God happily brought me into his Acquaintance and Converse, being invited to Preach once a Lord's-day with him to the People that met at Glastenbury, which I continued to do for near a Year: And therefore can give a better Account of what these Expressions in his Diary refer to. He was fully satisfied with his own practice in Preaching to that Auditory, which generally consisted of Persons not only very serious in their temper, but free from any of those uncharitable Heats that accompany a narrow Zeal for a Party. They were indeed drawn to attend his Ministry, because as they had but too just reason of dissatisfaction with the neighbouring Parish-Ministers: so they soon found other Impressions made on them by his judicious and affectionate Discourses, which yet derived still greater Efficacy from an eminently holy Conversation, and particularly from his large Charity in furnishing all poor Families thereabouts with Catechisms, and other good Books, and his unwearied Care in visiting them, to examine their Proficiency in the knowledge and practice of serious Religion. And be durst not throw off that Ministerial Work wherein God blessed him with so eminent Success, to avoid some Men's weak and groundless charges of Schism and Separation: But thought the Salvation of Souls that needed better help than they were provided for in public, preferable to the observation of those Ecclesiastical Canons which excluded so many faithful and laborious Ministers from being employed in the Parish-Churches, of whose continued Labours, he thought there was an apparent necessity. For though the public Clergy was almost supernumerary, yet there were but few in comparison who seemed to have any due sense of the weight of the Pastoral Charge, and too few that had Qualifications of Learning and Piety requisite for it. But on the other hand, he was greatly troubled at the Extreme which he thought those Dissenters run into, who avoided all Communion with the Parish-Churches: and to express his dislike of what he thought an uncharitable temper in them, he often (as you'd read anon) communicated in the next Parish-Church, and was troubled to find that several whom he thought truly good Men, should so warmly censure him for it. Nay, he was so extremely tender of prejudicing the Interest of Parish-Churches, that though he durst not condemn those of his Brethren, who formed distinct Congregations, to which they administered the Lord's-Supper, and all other Ordinances, though without renouncing occasional Communion with the Parish-Churches; yet he was so earnestly desirous of an Act of Comprehension, that might (by restoring Discipline in Parish-Churches, and giving Ministers access to them on such easier terms as his Judgement could comply with) lay the foundation of a happy Union; that he resolved rather to wait longer for it, than do any thing to make the breach wider, by going further than constant Preaching, which he looked on only as a necessary help, and no real hindrance to the true Interest of Religion in the Parish-Churches. And often freely declared so much to those that there attended his Ministry.  
Having made so long a Digression, though necessary, to clear the sense of these Passages in his Diary, (by which it fully appears with what Deliberation and sincerity he acted in these matters;) I shall before I close it, subjoin one Instance of the admirable Influence his Example and Persuasions had to promote Religion in the Family and Neighbourhood of Glastenbury: For the Heir of it, Sir Thomas R— being but then newly come to Age, did at his desire, (to engage his Tenants the more effectually to the study and practice of Religion) call together their Servants and Children every Lord's-day, after the Afternoon Sermon, and himself Catechised them. This I have often observed with great Satisfaction, and as I am sure the mention of it is no dishonour to his Quality or Years; so I wish that so memorable an Example of early Zeal for Piety, may draw others to an Imitation of it. Such familiar Instructions would be more readily and thankfully embraced by their Inferiors, from those on whom their Secular Interest depends, and whom they are sure nothing but compassionate Charity to their Souls, can prompt to so much condescension. But to return to Mr. Trench's Diary.]  
Glanstenb. May 24. 1680.  
I had been Abused, Censured, and Slander's, Faithfulness and Plaindealing had hard returns: But my Duty was comfortable, though against the stream; I had Witnesses of my Integrity above and within, and in the confidence thereof was plain and free with the injurious Party, to whom I still returned Good for Evil, Prayers, and Services for many and cruel Wrongs. The Guilty at length expressed a great and sorrowful sense of what was past, ask God forgiveness, and his unworthy Servant, and promised what had flown out in Passion against Truth, should be rectified, and my Innocence cleared. I was still praising God who enabled me to do my Duty, against such cutting Provocations, and gave me so much kindness, where I less expected it.  
Glast. Jan. 1. 1681.  
Thankful acknowledgements of continued Goodness to me and mine, especially for any Sincerity and Diligence in increasing my own and others Knowledge, Love, and Obedience; Breathe after more and more Holiness, That by any means I might be more like my Heavenly Father, more faithful in endeavouring his Glory, and the good of men, and more happy in success.  
Prayers for constant Assistance were quickened by the sudden sinking and dying of an old Acquaintance, Mr. S— who was commonly very cheerful, full of comfortable confident Expressions of Resignation to and trust in God, and of unconcernedness for and elevation above lower temporal matters: Yet on the Death of a Friend and Wife, all failed, and he soon sunk and died. What need to please and seek to God continually, that he may keep us strong in himself and the power of his might.  
Glast. July 10. 1682.  
I complied to stay at Glast. though solicited by other Friends to be nearer them, with hearty Prayers to be more laborious and successful for their good, particularly Sir Th's., whom I had great reason to love. I had comfortable hopes of my own Sincerity, but not without trouble for my sluggishness and wand'ring Thoughts. I reflected on the prime of my Health and Briskness, not improved as became me for God, acknowledging it just I should not be honoured to do him any considerable Service, and begged pardon and strength of Body and Soul, and good success, For his infinite unaccountable Mercy and Goodness in our dearest Saviour.  
Glast. May 28. 1683.  
I found several Notes of my own Sincerity, and with more confidence: Distractions were my trouble, against which my Prayers were still directed.  
I had designed to receive the Sacrament in Cranbroke-Church, not from fear, for which there was then no occasion: but from sense of Duty, and trouble for the neglect thereof. I had been for it, and oft declared my Judgement.  
But the vehement Aversion and dissuasion of several good Men had kept me from doing it there: But I was at length satisfied I ought not to please them therein, but to obey the Commands of Christian Unity, Communion, and Love; to perform a Duty, and partake of a Privilege sadly neglected, and take away that Offence which forbearance would fix before some who mistakingly cry out against Offence, when through their own Faults displeased.  
My Body had continued very crazy, Lungs sensibly heated and swelled by the Catarrh, notwithstanding many means: but God sent me to London, made my Friends urge me to better advice, and blest what was prescribed, especially Milk variously prepared and mixed, with quick and strange success. Wishes were for an Heart more drawn and warmed by Divine Goodness and Love.  
My Work at Glastenbury drawing to an end, my Conscience witnessed that I had endeavoured to promote the Essentials of Religion, not our unhappy Differences, with as little appearance of Schism or Faction as I could.  
Brenchley, Nou. 20. 1684.  
Our 6th Son was Bapitzed and named Thomas, by Mr. Monkton, our Minister at Brenchley: I hoped he had not only the Token, but the saving benefit of the Covenant, praying he might live, and faithfully embrace it for himself.  
Brenchley, July, 5. 1685.  
This Day I received the Sacrament, renewing my Covenant with my God, who is my All. I converse little with Men, but enough to see and hear of many lamentable sinful Distempers. Lord make all better, and keep such as profess greater Purity, from impure Heats and Mistakes, and from doing Evil under pretence of Good.  
July 21.  
I endeavoured as I ought to be affected with the Sins and Sufferings of so many.  
My Thoughts have been frequently of God, and my Discourses with several as I had opportunity: I hope they would have been better, if less disturbed by bodily indisposition, which still clouds my Head. O for a better Head and Heart to glorify my good God and Saviour, in doing and suffering whatever pleaseth him.  
Brenchly, Octob. 7. 1685.  
Being entered into the 43d. Year of my Life, I reflected on my carriage towards God and Man, what I had been and done in the World; and what grounds I had to hope for a better: The Result whereof I writ for future use, I hope without partiality. God grant I may yet write better.  
I am unfeignedly willing to know the worst of myself; I think I have good ground to hope I have found the benefit of an early and sincere Dedication to God by my good Parents, and of their careful Education and frequent Prayers, and the many other Spiritual Advantages I enjoyed.  
I am pretty well assured that I have chosen God for my Portion, Rest, and Happiness; and that I prefer not the Profits, Pleasures, and Honours of this World, before him. I desire no more thereof than is needful for his Service, hearty desiring and seeking first the Kingdom of God and his Righteousness, and expecting other things in due subordination.  
I have, I hope, hearty, humbly, and thankfully accepted the Lord Christ, as offered in the Gospel to be my Saviour on his own terms, to save me from my Sins, to sanctify me by his Word and Spirit, to rule me by his Laws, and so to justify and save me from Gild and Punishment for ever.  
I have been and am greatly troubled that I did not earlier return unto God: The Sins of my Youth and my Relapses since, are the grief of my Soul, which I would wash away, if possible, with my own blood: It cuts my Heart that I forsook them no sooner, and that my following Life hath not been more fruitful. Yet I hope, I have been and am sincere, keeping myself through Grace, from my own Iniquity, and living in the practice of the contrary Duties.  
I am hearty willing to comply with God in all things, and to live in the daily practice of all those holy, heavenly, spiritual Duties of Heart and Life, which my God requires: I am very sorry that I perform them no better: and yet I hope I am not defiled with great or reigning Sin, but am prevailingly his faithful Servant.  
I long for nothing more than, nothing so much as more Fixedness of Mind on God, more Constanoy, Cheerfulness, and Success in his blessed Service.  
I unfeignedly desire, and, through Divine Assistance, resolve to persevere and grow still better, notwithstanding all Difficulties, and against all Temptations, to think of and act according to Matth. 10.37, 38, etc. and Luke 14.26, 33. That whatever it cost, I will so run, that I may obtain the Crown, forgetting those things that are behind, and pressing forward towards the mark for the price of our high calling of God in Christ Jesus. But thou, O Lord, forsake not me, that I forsake not thee.  
I am in love with that Love which our Lord set us such an Example of, and made the distinguishing Character of his Disciples. My Charity, I think, is large and extensive, according to his Will; but especially I have loved and do love all good Men as such prevailingly; They are to me the Excellent of the earth, in whom, (as to Men) is all my delight. The Divine Image affects and draws me wherever I find it, notwithstanding differences in little Things: And my Love is real and fruitful according to my Ability: My Heart and Hands are open as Objects and Occasions offer.  
I have been and am very careful to wrong none, having long since righted those I did.  
I have soon forgiven when provoked; yea seldom, very seldom retained any Grudge against any: I have returned Good for Evil, where I deserved well, and yet suffered much ill; and where I have deliberately refused to comply with any, it was because I thought it my Duty for their good: I have been watchful, Self should not prevail under shadow of being concerned for God. I have no Enemies whom I do not hearty pray for, and am not ready to do good to. Praised be God, these Duties of Loving, Giving, and forgiving, were not and are not difficult.  
I have been affected, and desire to be more with the Condition of the Church of God, the Sufferings of so great a part thereof, and especially the Sins that deserved them. My Prayers have been and are, That God would Refine and not Destroy; That he would diffuse that Wisdom from above, which is pure and peaceable; That he would revive the power of Godliness, humbling the Guilty of our Divisions, and uniting in Christian, Catholic Love.  
I have conscientiously considered my Duty to the Magistrate, and accordingly have been careful to obey all his Laws, unless contrary to the Laws of God: And I thought it became me to understand his Will not in the worst, but in the best sense his Words would bear; remembering that an erring Conscience will not clear me if I disobey any lawful Command.  
I have been little inquisitive about the Magistrate's Duty, but careful to know my own: My enquiry was not, Whether he did well to Command, but, whether I might lawfully Obey? Though he impose unnecessary Burdens beyond his Authority, (which is for Public Good;) yet Compliance may be my Duty from Humility, Love to Peace, and that I may not offend, but respect God's Vicegerent.  
I have considered the Veneration due to those in Authority by reason thereof, however they be otherwise defective; and the Subjection that must be ever continued, though the Laws of God forbidden Obedience, and accordingly resolved never to partake in Rebellion, though for the best Religion, and most valuable Liberties; but to be still subject not only for Wrath, but, for Conscience-sake.  
I have often frequented the Public Authorised Assemblies, and joined in the established way. of Worship, not to avoid Civil or Ecclesiastical Censures, not for any worldly Interest; but from sense of Duty, and a just persuasion, after many Thoughts and Prayers, in which I am still more confirmed, that I was more obliged to do so by the Laws of God, and abundantly warranted by the Example of our Saviour and his Apostles. I have been still more confident, as I considered the State and Practice of the Primitive and other Churches, and looked, I think, impartially into what is opposed by Dividers.  
Praised be God, I am still well satisfied that I am not involved into so much as any consent to Sin. I reflect with comfort on my moderation about small or doubtful matters, and on my warmth against the Antichristian Spirit of uncharitableness, Hatred, Rage, and Malice.  
I admire God's Infinite goodness in the way of Salvation, and am greatly troubled that I am no more affected with the amazing Mercy and Benignity of my Heavenly Father, with the stupendious Charity, Condescension, and Sufferings of the Son, and with the wonderful Patience, Long-suffering, and Kindnoss of the Holy Spirit. I desire and long to know and love, admire and praise, spoke and act more and more to the utmost of my power, for the Glory of the Incomprehensible Trinity, which hath so condescended to Save such an abominable wretched Creature.  
I find it most difficult to get and keep an Heavenly Frame without Distraction: I am oft discomposed by worldly Concerns, vexed by the Sins and Weaknesses of others; and too easily diverted from my Studies, Meditations, and Prayers, by vain, impertinent, unsuitable, and unseasonable Thoughts: I labour and groan under them as my great Burden and Sin, and strive alas too ineffectually against them. What would I give, yea, what would I not give, do, or suffer, that my Soul were fixed on God; that I could serve him without Distraction? That my Studies, Meditations, and Converse with God in his Word, Prayer, and Praise, were more free from wand'ring, more affectionate, spiritual and heavenly? Yet I'm sure I long and desire to labour more effectually that God may fill and possess my Soul; that his holy enjoying Service, (the perfect Happiness of Heaven) may be more and more begun on Earth. I value and breath after the Divine Image as the greatest good, esteeming, and desiring to be rid of Sin as the greatest Evil; and Heaven is therefore most amiable, because there I hope to be wholly freed from Sin, and to serve and enjoy my God and Saviour in sinless Holiness.  
O Lord help me to do as I profess, promise, and bind myself; That my Conversation may be more in Heaven: That thy Will may be more done by me on Earth, as 'tis in Heaven! That I may more comfortably hope and long to be in Heaven! And, O remember thy Churches and Children, and the whole World; Let my concern for them all be more according to thy Will, more pure and intense for thy Glory. Amen, for our Lord Jesus sake.  
My worldly Circumstances are not without Difficulties and Temptations; considerable Losses I have had, yet continued giving largely to the Poor: My Children dying, I did not think it my Duty to increase my Estate. I have now Two likely to live, and may have more; so that my Charge rises, when what should maintain it falls. I resolve to cast my Care on God in well-doing, to exercise myself more than ever, to keep a Conscience void of offence, impartially to study and do my Duty, and pray continually.  
Brenchley, Octob. 23. 1685.  
My Practice hath in some measure answered my renewed Resolutions; I have employed my time better, prayed harder, and endeavoured when called abroad to do some good, by good Discourse, when I thought it seasonable, and by making peace. God hath comforted me in the kindness of Friends; His Spirit, I hope, is with me: May I more abundantly find it, as I am called to do or suffer, for my Jesus' sake!  
Brenchley, Feb. 25. 168●.  
I hope I continue in God's Service, though alas with many Failings till I was hasted to London and Hackney, the 5th. where I had an happy issue of an Affair, which evidently threatened much trouble and loss: I could not but give somewhat considerable to some that were indeed great Losers. My God, I trust, will remember me for good, and capacitate me to give more.  
Thursday, the 18th. Mr. Samuel Barton, Fellow of Corp. Christi College in Oxford, married my Sister Sarah; O may they be faithful to God and one another, according to their Duty: May he find a comfortable Opportunity for Public Service, of which alas I still continue uncapable. I have been lately urged, and again considered my Scruples (as to the terms of Conformity) but cannot yet see my way: If I labour under involuntary mistakes, God will (I hope) pardon and remove them.  
Brenchley, May 1. 1686.  
April 26. Our younger Child Thomas died at the end of a Convulsion-Fit, about an Hour long, etc. May we more practically believe we must also die, and not cease preparing for it, till we come to desire it, and live in the constant joyful expectation of Eternity: We are many ways shamefully faulty that we do not: Pardon and help us for thy Mercies sake. Amen.  
Brenchley, May 29. 1686.  
On the 23d. I solemnly remembered my Saviour's Passion, and renewed my Covenant with God thorough him; My Prayors and Vows were principally for increase of Holiness in Heart and life. God graciously made use of a mean Affliction, (as others count it) to quicken both the Day following; so that the past Week my Watch hath been more constant, my Recollections more frequent, at least every Evening: And I sinned to my comfort my Converse both with God and Man, hath been in some good measure, (if I mistake not) according to the Gospel. I have had many Refiections on God's manifold Goodness, many Abhorrings of my own sinful Vileness: I desire my Actions, and (as God pleaseth) my Sufferings may be answerable, that I may glorify him more on Earth, and help others to do so; and become very ready and willing to serve him better in Heaven. Amen for my Saviour's sake. I praise God, I have lived this Week also as the former; My Soul hath been daily first and last with God: My Thoughts have very frequently returned unto him, and my Time hath been improved with some diligence for his Glory. My Converse with others & in my own family, hath in some measure expressed the sense of those great Things that ought always above all to be minded. My Prayers and Resolves have been and are for constancy and progress. Amen, for my Lord Jesus sake.  
June 12.  
I hope I am still getting nearer Heaven; I have continued my Converse with God, and endeavoured to quicken others with myself to his blessed Service. Afflictions are much abated, but not my Fervour. O may Love be an abiding Principle thereof, acting me with Vigour and Constancy for the Glory of God, and the good of all with whom I have to do. Amen, for my Lord Jesus' sake.  
June 19 1686.  
Praised be God, I have endeavoured another Week to speak, and think, and act for him: His Mercies further engage me daily.  
Jyly 3.  
I have thought oft daily of God and Heaven, and oft prayed that I might please him better, and be more sit to be with him there: But I have not been so serious and warm, and earnestly desirous of getting and doing good as I was before, and yet I was last Lord's-day at the Sacrament: I hope God knows that I desire nothing in comparison with Holiness, that I may be at a greater distance from the Desilements of Sin, and have deeper and more abiding Impressions of his purifying Light and Love, and be more constant and successful in communicating thereof to others. I proceeded not so successfully in my Studies as I would, and I think sometimes have. I hope to pray and strive that I may be and do better. Impertinent Discourses, (the too common bane of Converse) have been my trouble. May I be able to oppose them with Christian Prudence, and to perfume every Place and Company with somewhat truly good; for his sake, who purchased and pleads for Grace to help in time of need.  
July 10.  
An indisposed Body and several encumbering Diversions have hindered me from serving God as I would; yet I hope my main design has not been wholly neglected.  
I was faithful to two Persons in dealing plainly with them about some matters that had occasioned several to speak evil of'em. But I was so with abundance of tenderness, and therefore cannot but think one of them blame-worthy for the bad return he made. My Conscience bears me witness, I did what I did merely from sense of Duty, having great reluctances; which only fear of God, and the love he commands to my Fellow-servants, overcame.  
July 17.  
I endeavoured to serve my good God, of whose kindness I have still more experience; but alas I have wanted that warmth and pleasure I have sometimes had: I long and desire to labour for it more than ever.  
July 31.  
I want the Aids of the Holy Spirit, because I doubt I do not seek and labour for and with them as I ought: I walk heavily, yet I hope in the right way. O for more Grace, or rather for better improvement of what I have, that I may have more; for Jesus' sake!  
Aug. 7. & 14.  
To the like purpose.  
My Watch has not been so constant, nor my Converse so useful as it should; Lesle profitable Discourses and books have taken up too much time: I am not prepared as I would for the Lord's-Day approaching. I need and beg pardon, that I delight no more in the more spiritual heaqvenly Duties and Studies, and am as desirous, (O may I be as laborious) to do better; for, etc.  
Brenchley, Aug. 31.  
I have not been what I would, yet I hope I am in the way to be what I wish, in Heaven. O may I be much better on Earth! To Morrow I design to take a Journey with my Brother, etc. O may I be able to reflect with comfort at my return on what I was and did.  
Sept. 21.  
God's Goodness accompanied me in my Journey, shined in Relations Loveliness, and Love, preserved my Family, and has brought us together in safety. May all be crowned with increase of Holiness and fruitful Gratitude, etc.  
Octob. 16.  
Four Fits of a Tertian Ague had much weakened and iudisposed me; God then took it off, and I seem recovering my former State of Health: I thought of Death with little or no fear, and hope I should have been happy if I had died, though now my Reflections are not so comfortable. I have sometimes thought I was beyond what I wrote: but now I am down again. Bodily indisposition dulls me; But why is not my Soul more vigorous? Had I complied with the Holy Spirit, and conversed with God as I ought, I might have had more of his comforting, strengthening Influences and helps. I desire to qualify myself for them by a far better improvement of all Aids vouchsafed. Help, heavenly Father, for thy Son's sake, Amen.  
Nou. 8.  
Our Seventh Son was Baptised and Named Edmund; May we and ours be still more our God's, agnizing his Supreme Right, and living more in the lively sense and active acknowledgements thereof. Amen; for, etc.  
Decemb. 11.  
My God has continued to engage me by his kindness to my whole Self and ours, and to our Relations who are so pleasant and useful to us. I have proceeded in my course of Duty, but alas too heavily without such Diligence, Life, and Cheerfulness, as become so excellent a Service. I desire to be what I wish, and to endeavour with all my might: When shall I write that I am and do so? Lord, help me to help myself! and suffer me not to forfeit the Aids thou vouchsafest. May I improve ' cm all with greater watchfulness, alacrity, and success! And may I do my utmost for all that I am concerned to help; for, etc.  
Decem. 31.  
The 25th I remembered my Saviour, and renewed my Covenant at the Holy Table, and before and after have taken some pains in his Service, sincerely (I hope) desiring and endeavouring to please him myself, and to help others to join with, yea, exceed me. May I still do better, and in the revolutions of Time, think more of, and prepare better for Eternity. Amen; for, etc.  
Brenchley, Jan. 29. 1687.  
I hope I have been crawling upwards, though somewhat unevenly, and attempted to do good as I had occasions to converse with Men, and prepared myself, (at least sometimes, for Visits, that they might be useful, and not, as alas, too often lost in Impertinences. Many come and partake of what I customarily do in my Family on the Lord's Days, after public Service. I may not exclude 'em, though uninvited. I hope, and pray, and endeavour, that God may honour me to do their Souls some lasting good. I am sensible of God's goodness as to my private Concerns and public Circumstances, and desire Heart and Life may be answerable; for my Saviour's sake. Amen.  
I have been also disturbed with the Extremes of some censorious Dividers; I have no Enmity against the Men, but can by no means approve their ways, nor concur as I am desired with 'em.  
Apr. 25. 1687.  
I have been doing my Duty, to the wearying and wasting of my flesh, I have been twice feasted by my Lord at his Table, I hope not without some advantage.  
May 16.  
The different Opinions, and especially the very indecent heats of good Men, to which the present liberty gave vent, were no small disturbance to me. And,  
July 2.  
I desire to lay to heart the Condition of the Church of God; the woeful neglects of Christian Love in all Parties, and the strange furious Heats that prey on the vital fervour of Religion, provoke God, and threaten destruction. Pity and help, O Lord; for vain is the help of man.  
July 20.  
[Speaking of a very deep and cutting Affliction that had often returned.] I am far from entertaining hard thoughts of God; I hearty submit to his Sovereign Pleasure: I acknowledge his Justice might be far severer; and I am sensible of abundance of Mercy, and that I want Thankfulness, which I often beg of him. I'm still more confirm'd in the ways of Love that I have chosen, and abhor Love-killing Principles and Practices in all Parties.  
Octob. 6.  
Ending the 44th Year of my earthly Pilgrimage, I reviewed what I wrote, Octob. 7. 1685. and found my Apprehensions of my own Condition much the same. I have continued taking pains in my Studies for the Service of Souls, to the wearying if not wasting of the Flesh; yet my Spirit hath not attained the frame I wish: impertinent Thoughts, wand'ring Imaginations, inordinate Affections, are my great and culpable Troubles. When shall I sinned and be able to write better! God grant that I may, whatever I suffer for't.  
Decemb. 31.  
I have been much perplexed between repeated Messages from Hackney, and others as unexpected from Ashford; and such Considerations as Reason and Religion suggest about our designed remove; I was very faulty in suffering 'em to hinder in such a measure my Converse with God, and my Comfort, Peace, and Joy therein; that a Sacramental Communion 25th, afforded so little sweetness and benefit, that I received no more from the infinite Fountain, ascended no higher towards him, and had not much larger Communications from him. O Lord, forgive and help, that my better Obedience and farther participation of a Godlike nature, may praise thine infinite Benignity, and fill my Mouth and Heart with a warmer sense of all thy Favours, and with more suitable Expressions: Especially I pray that my Thoughts may be contented, and Labours fastened to present Duty; that without needless projecting for the future, I may do what appears necessary now. Let the Year that's now to begin, be better improved than any past: Let me live as apprehending I may die before it ends; that if I should survive it, I may reflect how I fill'd it with God's fruitful Service, and rejoice in hope, that at length Time will be ended, and therewith the too too many failings of my Duty and Comfort. Amen; for my dear Saviour's sake.  
Troubles without, and especially Failings within, have much indisposed me for Duty and the Sweets thereof: yet when lately ill, I had no great fears, but could think with calmness of a future state, and hope I shall prepare better for it, and for my Afflictions that may befall me in my passage.  
March 31. 1688.  
I hope I have not departed from God, though I fear I have got but little nearer to him: I have persevered with some painfulness in my Studies, and endeavoured to embrace Opportunities of doing good according to the Abilities I have acquired, and as seemed consistent with that regard that should always be had to the great Things of Christianity, and the furthering thereof in the ways of Love and Peace. Such has been my Aim in my frequent Thoughts and Attempts to leave this place.  
Apr. 28.  
I have continued studying, praying, instructing my Family and others, but with many distractions, not only from our unsettled Condition, but likewise from other Accidents and Circumstances which occasion trouble, and threaten loss: I lament that I am so much affected by 'em, and that the greater concerns of Eternity, (the sense whereof should have been more awakened and strengthened by the solemn remembrance of my Lord and Saviour at his Holy Table, the 15th and 22d.) do not more effectually divert my Thoughts and raise my Mind. Lord, pity, pardon, and help: Direct yet where I may serve thee better, and do more good than ever. Make me especially useful to my Children as they grow capable of learning and loving their Duty, that I may have more of the pleasure that I most desire, see more of thy restored Image in others, and feel it in myself. And O remember thy Churches, particularly in these Nations; Guide and prosper in the ways of Holiness and Peace, that walking in the fear of the Lord, and in the comfort of the Holy Ghost, they may be edified and multiplied. Amen; for, etc.  
I have been afflicted, but I have been also sustained, and I hope raised to a more abiding warmth and watchfulness in God's blessed Service. Hitherto he hath helped me in all troubles; I will still trust him, and endeavour my Carriage may prove that my Trust is not presumption. I have been affected with others Sufferings and our common danger. May my Prayers and Labours be still more vigorous, and my Praises also for all his Goodness.  
July 2.  
I have endeavoured to discern the mind of God in those Afflictions wherewith he has pleased to follow me; I have searched my Heart and reviewed my Actions. I still see cause to wish that I had more readily embraced all Opportunities of doing good, and more effectually improved them. My Faults towards God have been Defects in Affection and Devotion, in Resignation and Dependence, etc. for which Yesterday I begged pardon, when I commemorated his Death, who purchased pardon for the Penitent; and I as earnestly petitioned for those more powerful Assistances, that may more effectually determine me to all my Duty, and enable me to delight in it.  
To Morrow I may see my Mother, Brother, etc. O may our Converse be still more holy and useful, that we may have stronger hopes of meeting in Glory. Amen; for, etc.  
July 25.  
Yesterday I returned from Hackney, having had a pleasant Converse with my Mother, Brother, and other dear Relations and Friends, and our pleasure was not, I hope, without some profit, though not so much as I hoped. Growing Wickedness and approaching Sufferings we could too easily discern, and were in some measure affected with. We desire, and O may we strive more effectually to know and do our Duty how difficult soever; and Lord, pity, pardon, help and increase thy People, and prepare us for thy blessed Will in all things; for our Lord Jesus' sake. Amen.  
Aug. 6.  
The 3d. my Mother came to us, and we may be longer together than we are like to be again on Earth. May our Discourses speak our sense hereof, and further our preparation for that blessed state, where parting of Friends will be no trouble.  
Sept. 26.  
I Yesterday assisted at the Fast in Horsmonden, and being indisposed in Body, and having too many Distractions in my Mind, I fear lest I spoke unadvisedly in Prayer; and yet my Head is so disturbed, that I cannot recollect in what words I expressed myself. I have begged pardon of God, and the prevention or removal of offence, if any were taken, and resolved as Opportunities offered to be better prepared, as God shall enable by Prayer and Meditation. I am even forced to remove to Cranbroke, from which yet I cannot but be averse, particularly for fear of discord with—. Lord, direct us not to neglect Holiness for Peace, nor yet to violate Peace through mistakes about Holiness. Amen; for, etc.  
Octob. 11. 1688.  
Last Week we removed from Brenchley to Cranbroke: Praised be God I came away desired at both Places. I had the blessing of the Poor I left, and the thanks of the public Minister, for furthering his Work, and promoting Union among his People. Lord, make me more useful here, direct in Difficulties, support under Afflictions, and enable in all to honour thy Majesty, and effectually to promote the Salvation of others with my own. Amen; for, etc.  
Nou. 29.  
[He largely relates what past between him and Mr. B. the Minister at Cranbroke, to whom he offered to Preach once a Day gratis, and read Common-Prayer in the Afternoon: (So desirous was he of any Opportunity of Service in the public Churches.) But the Offer being refused, on reasons there mentioned, be adds;] I then told him, I must Preach once a Day at home, that I might not be useless, and that I might do good to some who would not hear him or Mr. W.  
[On the other hand he refused to countenance a N. C. Minister there, as on other accounts; so principally for his binding his People against all Communion with the est ablished Parish-Churches.]  
About this time as he was passing the Yard, to take Horse at a Neighbour's House, whom he had been to visit, his Foot slipped, and occasioned a slight scratch on the Skin of his Leg: He was not at first apprehensive of any danger, and though he road home, which was seven Miles, immediately upon it, and walked the next Day at least four more, his Leg did not at all complain: But soon after taking cold, and his Body being always infirm, this slight hurt was irritated and inflamed to that degree, that he was forced to call in the help of able Surgeons. But, alas, it defeated all their Skill, for it mortified so often, and affected so many other parts, that what with the pain it brought, and the troublesome and grievous Incisions and Operations it obliged him to, after it had first prostrated his strength, and emaciated his Body; at length it extinguished that life, from which we might have hoped for so many great and good things, if it had pleased God to continue it. His patience and submission was all the while most admirable and exemplary.  
Being almost worn out with the Miseries which the frequent Operations of the Surgeons put him to: 
☜  He wrote these as the last words in his Diary, with a very weak and tr●m●●ing hand, as the Writing and Letters too evidently show.  
Cranbroke, Feb. 19 1689.  
I have been above two Months under the Surgeon's hands for a sore Leg and Thigh. Pains have been sometimes very great; Relapses from Fevers, etc. several; Apprehensions of Death frequent: I have not, I think, been impatient; I have been without anxious Thoughts of Eternity; and willing, if God pleased, to leave my Body, but ●ixedly desirous not to continue in it, unless I be and do the better for this Affliction. Twice as my ill Circumstances permitted, 〈◊〉 viewed the Account of myself, Oct. 7. 1685. and still hope it is not false.  
Of all Men, I could think only of Mr.—, betwixt whom and myself there was any unkindness, but I think none sinful on my part. I was advised against meddling with him on that Subject, because I could not see it was my Duty, and it might do more harm than good.  
Lord, pity me in my wearisome Condition, help me according to thy great Goodness; Refine me for thy better Service on Earth, or perfect in Heaven.  
Of his Carriage under his tedious and languishing Pains, the following Character gives a brief Account: to which I shall only add, That his Patience, (s● Grace that Heaven gives us no occasion to exercise,) having had its perfect work on Earth, especially under an Affliction of so long continuance: He was (happily as to himself) dismissed from his Labours and Sorrows, and entered into his everlasting Rest, March 30. 1688/ 9  
To this Account of his Life given from his own Breviate; it may not be amiss to annex the Character given of him by Mr. Changed— that Preached his Funeral Sermon.  
I know the usual Flattery of Funeral Orations, and the ill use that is sometimes made of them, when the Person is of no extraordinary worth to deserve them. But very excellent Persons, whose Lives have been very bright and exemplary, should not fall without being taken notice of. And as 'tis a piece of Justice to the Dead, so of useful Charity to the Living to commemorate their Remarkable Virtues and Graces, that Survivers may be persuaded and encouraged to Go and Do likewise. And such was this great Man. I am indeed on many accounts unfit to give a just Character of him: As by reason of mine own green Years; so also because I had not the happiness to be acquainted with him till the last seven Years of his life. But I shall say nothing of him, but either on my own Observation, or from that short Breviate of his Life, Penned by himself for his own use.  
[And here after some Account of him from the Breviate, which 'tis needless to repeat, because the Reader will meet with it more fully there: he proceeds.]  
He had before inclined to the study of Physic, and gained so much Skill as made him very useful to his poor Neighbours when sick. But as one of the Fathers said concerning Tully, He could not find the Name of Jesus there: And therefore laid those Books aside, and applied himself to that more sweet and sublime study of Divinity. Herein in a few Years he exceeded and outstripped most of his Age: God had given him a large Soul, in a weak and crazy Body. He was Master of a quick discerning solid Judgement joined with an active Fancy, which rarely meet together. He was indeed a living Library and walking Study, and carried about a vast Stock of Learning with him. And God had given him large measures of Grace to improve his great Abilities for the good of Souls.  
With what warmth and Affection, with what apposite Expressions, and (I had almost said) unimitable Fluency of Sacred Oratory would he pour out his Prayers before God with what tenderness and compassion did he invite and urge Sinners to Repentance! How clearly would he explain the deepest Mysteries of Christianity, and what weighty Arguments did he use to persuade to a belief and observance of its holy Doctrines and Rules! His daily Family-Exposition of the Scriptures, which for many Years he used Morning and Evening; I have often thought equal for Accuracy and Instructiveness, to most Commentators. He took all Opportunities that his own Weakness and Family-distractions, or public Confusions would allow for his public Labours: And he never omitted Preaching from House to House by private Visits and Christian Conferences. His Master's Work was constantly upon his Heart, and he readily embraced all Opportunities for it. The Sick and Poor were sure of his Company, and he familiarly condescended to the meanest Capacities for their good. He was as willing to instruct poor Cottagers in the way to the Kingdom, as those of an higher rank and degree. He perfumed every place where he came with his savoury Speeches and heavenly Discourse: His Words dropped as the Dew, and distilled as the Rain; And his Heart was stilled with such a sense of Divine Love, that the holy Breathe of it flowed forth among all with whom he conversed.  
Thus he was in his Ministerial Capacity. And his Life and Actions were answerable to his Doctrine and Discourses.  
I need not say how pleasant a Relative he was, how dutiful as a Son, how indulgent as a Husband, how prudent and affectionate as a Father. Nor need any Man tell me how pleasant and faithful he was in his Friendship. He had all the ingenuity and endearing Obligingness that belongs to such a Relation. He had in himself those four Characters in eminent degrees, which he was often wont to say he wished for in a real Friend; Piety, good Nature, Fidelity in Admonitions, and Reproofs, and a Readiness to Communicate Notions and Experiences, for the increasing holy Light and Heat.  
I must pass over many Things worthy to be remembered, and shall only mention some particular Virtues and Graces, which were the peculiar Ornaments of his Life.  
He give remarkable Instances of his Piety and Devotedness to God, by his constancy and frequency in Devotion. He took all occasions for Prayer by himself and with others, was habitually prepared for this sweet and profitable Exercise of Religion. Few ever complied more with the Scriptural Command of Praying always, and without ceasing: This holy Incense was always prepared for the Altar, though the sweet perfume was not always ascending to Heaven. He observed the Lord's Day with a religious strictness, keeping it as a holy Rest to God in the public and private Exercises of Worship, with as little diversion as possible.  
He diligently instructed his Inferiors, by Catechising and serious Exhortations. He expressed a warm Zeal against Sin wherever he found it; and his prudent, calm, and seasonable Reproofs were greatly enforced by the blamelessness of his own Example. In such Instances his Piety shone in a bright attractive Light.  
His Meekness and Moderation towards those that differed from him, deserves next to be remembered. Tho' none was more fervently zealous about the great Substantials of Religion; yet none were more cool and temperate about those circumstantial Differences that have occasioned such unhappy Breaches among us. He abhorred all consorious Heats, and I never knew him more hearty angry against any, than against the Broachers of narrow love-killing Principles, of what Party or Persuasion soever. He was zeasous for Peace and Love, as well as good Works; of a truly healing and catholic Spirit. He was himself dissatisfied with some Terms of Ministerial Conformity: But yet he encouraged faithful Parochial Ministers with his ordinary Presence and Communion, and never censured those that were satisfied in what he scrupled, but kept up an entire Friendship with many of very eminent note to the very last. Nunquam de dogmatibus Christus disseruit, sed saepe, & ubique, imo semper de vivendi sinceritate; was a Sentence often in his Mouth and upon his Heart, written in the first Leaf of his Breviate, and (as I remember) of his common Preaching Bible. If Men feared God and wrought Righteousness, he loved them hearty, however different in Judgement about Matters less necessary and important.  
His Humility was also very remarkable; He was clothed with it as with a Livery and honourable Badge to discover his Relation to his humble condescending Saviour, as I remember he used to interpret that place, 1 Pet. 5.5. Though he was justly esteemed by those that knew him as an Oracle of Learning that had not many Superiors; yet had he low undervaluing, (not to say injurious) Thoughts of himself. 'Twas this indeed that has proved an unhappiness to the Church of God, his Humility having stified many excellent Discourses that might have been of public use, and made him too willing to confine his Life and Labours to an obscure Corner.  
His Charity was very singular and exemplary: He devoted the 10th, and for many Years the 7th part of his Estate to Charitable Uses; Neither did he stint himself to, but often exceeded even these large proportions. He was peculiarly prudent in managing his Alms to the best advantage; endeavoured at the same time to save the Bodies and Souls of Men too, by the same act to supply their temporal Wants, and promote their spiritual Welfare. How often have I known him visit the Poor, examine their Provisions, and deal out his Bounty with a free and liberal Hand. And still he mingsed good Counsel with all his Alms, and affectionately persuaded to serious Piety, which had often a very commanding abiding Influence. He spent much pains and cost in instructing poor Children in the Principles of Religion, in giving Bibles and other good Books, exacting a diligent perusal, and frequently calling them to an account of their Proficiency. He had many other secret ways of Charity, (as largely appears by his private Accounts,) for which he courted not the Applause of Men, but is now rewarded by his heavenly Father.  
I shall only farther mention his Patience and entire Resignation to the Will of God. For some Years before his Death, God visited him with very sore Afflictions of different natures: But he bore them all with a great sense of his Father's hand, and did not charge his Providence foolishly. His last Sickness was occasioned by a fall, which caused a small Wound, (or rather Scratch) in his Leg, neglected by himself at first, but meeting with an insirm distempered Body, at last proved dangerous and destructive. But yet under all the excessive Tortures of his Pain, and frequent lance of the Surgeons, he still expressed great Patience; adn when at any time the extremity of his pain forced him to cry out, he checked himself, expressing his fears of dishonouring God by impatience, and blest his heavenly Father that worse was not inflicted. Nor did he by peevishness disquiet those about him, but was thankful to every one that did any necessary Offices for him, was pleased with every thing that was done, readily condescended to every Proposal and Advice of the Physicians. He Preached in his Chair and in his Bed: affectionately exhorted all that attended on him, to the serious practice of Religion, and suited his Counselves to the particular Circumstances, (as for as he knew them) of all that visited him. He died with connortable hopes of Happiness, and often told me from the very beginning of his Sickness, that he had no tormenting fears of Death: That though he could have wished he had been more watchful and useful, yet he hoped he had been sincere, and trusted that for Christ's sake all his Sins were forgiven. That though he had not Raptures and Transports, yet he had a constant peaceful Calm which continued to the last moment of his Life. And for some Wecks before he died, he longed to be dissolved, and earnestly desired, if God saw good, that he might be with Christ.  
Thus lived, thus died this eminent Saint: And now what remains, but that we take the Apostle's Counsel, as applied to this Occasion, Phil. 4.9. Those things which ye have both learned and received, and heard, and seen in him, do ye likewise; And as the God of Peace was with him, so he will be with you, in Life, in Death, and to Eternity.   
FINIS.   

Books Printed for Thomas Parkhurst, and Jonathan Robinson.  
THere is lately published, A complete History of the Acts, Decisions, Decrees, and Canons, of those Famous National Councils of the Reformed Churches in France. Wherein are contained, 1. A most faithful and impartial account of the Rise, Growth, Perfection, and Decay of the Reformation in that Kingdom, with its fatal Catastrophe upon the Revocation of the Edict of Nants, in the Year 1685.2. The Confession of Faith and Discipline of those Churches. 3. A Collection of Speeches, Letters, Sacred Politics, Cases of Conscience, and Controversies in Divinity; determined and resolved by those grave Assemblies. 4. Many excellent Expedients for preventing and healing Schisms in the Churches, and for reuniting the dismembered Body of divided Protestants. 5. The Laws, Government, and Maintenance of their Colleges, Universities and Ministers, together with their Exercise of Discipline upon delinquent Ministers and Church-members. 6. A Record of very many Illustrious Events of Divine Providence relating to those Churches. The whole Collected and Composed out of Original Manuscript Acts of those Renowned Synods. A Work never before Extant in any Language. In two Volumes.  
A Defence of the Catholic Faith, concerning the Satisfaction of Christ: Written Originally by the Learned Hugo Grotius. And now Translated by W. H. A Work very necessary in these Times for the preventing of the Growth of Socinianisin.  
Mr. Richard Baxter's Paraphrase on the Psalms of David in Metre, with other Hymns. Left sitted for the Press under his own Hand.  
A Discourse of Earthquakes; By R. Fleming, Author of the Fulsilling of Scriptures.