John TAYLOR Being yet unhanged, sends greeting, to John BOOKER That hanged him lately in a Picture, in a traitorous, slanderous, and foolish London Pamphlet, called A Cable-Rope double-twisted.  
Thou Booker hangest me pictured in a Boat,  
Whereby thou showd'st thyself the Hangman's Groom,  
The Hangman shall hang thee, and men shall note,  
That under Tyburn thou shalt have a tomb:  
And lousy Ballad-makers rhymes shall sing,  
There lies a rebel, that reviled his King:  
Thou hangest my Picture, but I do foresee,  
That (in revenge) the Hangman shall hang thee.  Gallogras Choka Cur dog Weasando Suffocatiorum. 
Printed in the year, 1644.   

Welfare an old Friend in a corner, but I have found an old corner in a Friend, that in these hard times hath sent me a True love's Knot made of a Cable-Rope double-twisted, and withal hath most Emphatically, Mathematically, Aquatically, and Emblematically hanged me in a Boat at London, and after that (most strangely and transubstantially) he sends me a Rope to Oxford. This is Booker's ass-tronomical Legerdemain, to hang a man first and send him a Rope afterwards, for the which courtesy I will send him a few small Lines, which he may twist at his leisure, and hang himself after at his pleasure. But this praeludium is silly simple stuff, for though it may be suitable to Booker's ridiculous nonsense railing and reviling, yet it neither becomes me to write, or my Readers to spend time in reading my writings if they were not better seasoned with salt, powdered with pepper, sharpened with vinegar, and made fit, and of some acute relish for the palates of such capacities, as can make a distinction betwixt A Very Knave, and A merry Knave.  
Booker, all the world may perceive the implacability and inveteracy of thy malice for thou canst not be contented, to hang me, but thou persistest so uncharitably towards me as not only to send me a Rope, but to revile me, with the learned Titles of Rogue, prick-louse, Pagan, Metropolitan Villain, and such other pretty surnames, which he learned from the fishwives scolding college at Billingsgate, and that he should be loath to fowl his fingers to answer any Pamphlet that comes from Oxford, but that through his sides the honour of a Parliament is wounded: to which I answer, that Parliament at this time is a mere Conventicle, or not the shade of a shadow of what it should be, and thou thyself dost manifest the imbecility of it, in that it had no other fortifications but such rotten paper-walls as thy sides to defend it from the shot of a Scholars or a Scullars pen; Sirtha, I would have thee know, that we at Oxford are true Protestant pen-proof, and the King, Queen, Princes, peers, Clergy, university, Army, Magistrates, and Commons, are slander-proof, so that neither your rebellious fighting, or reviling writing, can wound, blemish or sully the majestic lustre of Royalty, in the sovereign, or the obedient expression of duty in the Subject.  
But thou with thy Consorts, May, Wither, Britannicus, the Scout, the Dove, and all the Rabble of lying and reviling rebels, cannot so much as scratch or touch my reputation, much less can they wound either Aulicus or Naworth, and least of all can they batter with Elder-guns and paper-bullets either majesty or loyalty.  
Prince Rupert (or Robert) whom your sauciness is pleased to call plain Rupert, as if his highness and your Knaveship were all fellows at football, you are so stupefied in impudence and unmannerly ignorance, that you give that illustrious Prince, the scandalous, Turkish Titles and terms of Saladine and Saracen, with many other such base expressions: I do hold it a great happiness to that noble Prince, that he hath worthily deserved to be feared and admired by you and all the rest of your rebellious and traitorous Factions; you have some reason to be angry with him, because he hath so often beaten you, (although he never did any harm to any honest man, true Subject, or Protestant; yet such a stinkard as John Booker, Thou, that art a thing, that out of thy imperious Clerkship to some Justices of Peace, to four or five of which thou wast a directing Gizzard, under their wing, a vermin made up of the fag-ends of felonious cheating, filching, whoring, roguing, man-slaughtering, and murdering mittimuses; thy apparel only made of the shreads of Warrants, thy diet out of the Scraps of roasted recognisances, and thy whole life an imitation of Binding over and withdrawing, this hath been thy Trade of old, thou whilom Vnder-Stewards man to one of the inns of Court, where thou didst fatten and batten with scraps, rumps and kidneys, and scraping of Trenchers, and lately a Guild-hall Publican or tollgatherer for the maintenance of damned Rebellion against God and the King.  
And this Booker, this Thing, this Nothing, this any thing (except a good thing) doth flirt poison, and with stinking calumnies against the sacred Honour of Princes, Religion, piety, and humanity, revile the King, Queen, and all that sincerely love or obey either God or them.  
If they were a Parliament, which thou so manifestest, they would show some fruits of a Parliament, in hanging thee, with all thy Brothers (Knaves and libelers) that do make a daily and weekly Trade to vilify their sovereign, with the Queen and loyal Nobility. There is a Statute unrepealed yet, that makes it no less than High Treason, or Treason in the highest degree; and that Act being still in force, me thinks, should stop your mouth with a hempen cullis or Caudle. But your nickname Parliament doth not only maintain and retain a scattered Heard of scribbling villains, but also they do allow most respect, favour, countenance and means to him that can lie, rail and slander most: therefore I conclude, if they were a Parliament, the sacred Name and Honour of His Majesty should not be suffered to be abused so transcendently (beyond all precedents) but that they would by Law and Parliamentary Authority send ye all to Gregory's market, and feed crows with your traitorous mischievous Heads, and filthy, treacherous, rebellious, stinking, quartered carcases: therefore no Parliament.  
But do thou and all the rest of the Generation of Vipers cast never so many of your traitorous slanders upon his sacred Majesty and his pious sincerity, yet his royal and Christian constancy is so firm, that you do all justly deserve an universal hanging, in not believing and belying his fixed and (never to be violated) true Protestations, His Majesty is so well grounded in His Religion, that He is resolved to maintain, defend, live and die in the Protestant Faith, of which Faith His Father (of blessed Memory) and himself have been Defenders above forty years, and which Faith you and your Faction have been Defilers almost four years.  
I wish you had the manners to forbear taxing His Majesty with Papistry, till such time as you know Him to be no Protestant. Indeed He is in mind and body compacted of such an unyeilding constitution (which your loyalty may call stubborness) that He will not bend or bow to your new-found Doctrine, so that there is no hope that you will ever be able to make a zealous Brownist, or devout Anabaptist of Him; therefore I advise you to be quiet, and let him be a Protestant still, for you labour in vain, and it is neither in the power of you, or the devil your Master, to alter Him from being constant, pious, just, merciful, &c.  
Thou railest most delicately, against learning and the university, which in one word or two I will answer with an old said Saw, Art hath no enemy but ignorance, as for the King, Queen, peers, Clergy, university, Cavaliery, Infantry, &c. Their own worths and virtues are their vindications, so that I will not presume to say thou canst wound their Honours, either through my weak sides, or any ways else that thy hellish brain can invent, therefore I'll let them alone to defend themselves, and turn once more towards thee in mine own defence.  
As when Christopher Columbus (an Italian) first discovered some small part of the (Than unknown) America, Vespusius (a Spaniard) sailing the year after, with the Chart or Card, compass, maps, and Mariners, that formerly Columbus had used, the said Vespusius discovered more Land, as the golden Peru, and other vast Continents, and at his return (being at dinner with Columbus and others) Vespusius bragged that he had only found out that new and rich World, at which words the Italian took an egg in his hand, asking Vespusius, if he could make the egg stand on one end upon the Table, to which he answered, he could not do it, than the other said that he could do it, and presently he put the eggs end into the Salt, and it stood upright; then the Spaniard said, that he could do that trick as well as he, to which the Italian replied, so you could find America when I have shown you the way. And much like haste thou Booker answered my Book, called [No Mercurius Aulicus] thou hast (like an ass) yoked thyself with my Heifer, for thou hast not the wit to plough without her, you play with your nody-grammatical foolery in Anagrammatizing my name, (as John Tailor, join Halter) and fillest thy patched Pamphet with questioning and cavilling, at changing [o] into [e] with such skimble scamble, simple, frothy stuff, as would serve to give a knowing hidebound Dog a comfortable stool or two.  
But as they are, and the condition they now are in, they have no other way of supportation, but what proceeds from the black mouths of your zealous, atheistical, long-winded Preachers (or tautological prating Lecturers) with the aid of you and your holy Tribe of accursed Pamphlet mongers; it is you that with your spiritual and temporal damnable Devotions, and infernal practices, that do uphold the usurped Dignity of that idol Dagon Senate; it is you that bring oil to quench the flames of this afflicted kingdom; it is you that have bewitched, besotted, and picked the purses of as many as believed you; it is you (and your instigations) that have raised and defended this unparallelld and unnatural Rebellion; it is you that (by Innovations in the Church) have almost made the glorious Protestant Religion invisible, and (to cover your villainies) with hypocritical and odious lies, you charge the King and his Honourable counsel with Popery, it is you that defend the New Assembly in their synodical Consultations, in framing and forging a new Koran, or a Talmud; it is you that have made Knaves and fools believe all this; it is you that have banished, imprisoned, robbed or murdered as many as would not believe all this, and my hope is to live to see you hanged for all this.  
Therefore it is no marvel if they maintain you, for you are the only props that uphold them, when you give over Lying then their Honour will lie in the dust, and when they fall you will be in danger of starving; for as Phocas by the murder of his Master Mauritius (the Roman Emperor) got the Empire to himself, but was held in an odious estimation amongst all good men, so that his usurped ill-got estate stood tottering, and his life in daily hazard (by the friends of the Assassinated Emperor) at the same time, the Bishop of Rome (Boniface) ambitiously sought to be chief and universal Bishop over all Christian Churches, which pride of his was opposed by all the godly and zealous Bishops in the World: but at last, the Murderer Phocas and the aspiring Pope made a bargain, which was that the Pope should by his dreadful Thunderbolts of Excommunication affright the People into obedience with the Emperor, so the Emperor (by force of arms) would bestow the Primacy of the whole Earth on the Pope, this match was made, and the most significant application of it is, that by as good right as Phocas reigned, by the like right doth Booker's Parliament rule, and by the same right do those forementioned villains and they maintain and defend each other, by Murder, Sacrililedge, Ambition, Treason, Rebellion, and ruin of this ancient, famous, late-flourishing, and now most wretched and miserable England.  
Our mermaid tavern (thou sayst) is turned alehouse (for want of wine) but if any of the Planets told thee so, tell them they lied, for there is sufficient of Wine in that House to make all the true Subjects in your Army as drunk as Beasts.  
Thou taxest Naworth and me with being blind, that we could not see but mistake, and take Jupiter for Mars, this mistake might be an escape or fault in Printing, and my Book was too small to have an Errata annexed to it. I answer, that Naworth did no more know of the writing or printing of my Book, than thou and thy Comrades do know how or when to be true Protestants or loyal Subjects; but all the world may perceive thee to be stark blind in thy understanding, that couldst not know the King from John Taylor, just as when a man casts a stone at a dog, the foolish cur runs and bites the stone and never minds the Caster; why, thou ignorant blind Buzzard, it was I, yea, it was I alone, without either any or the least assistance from Naworth, Aulicus, or any other that wrote the Book called [No Mercurius Aulicus] wherein I told you truly of your mistaking, villainous Prediction; I tell thee again, thou misbelieving infidel, it was I that galled and spur-galled thee to the quick, and thou (like a blind jade) couldst not see me alone that did it, but thou must fall a snapping and snarling at the King, the Queen, &c. with others, who never had such a thought as to think upon so villainous a poisonous Vermin as thou art. Thou shouldst only have meddled with me that mumbled thee; but 'tis the old trick of your Pulpiteers and Pamphleteers, to draw the more attention, and entice Coxcombs and Knaves to buy your damnable roguish riffe raffe, to mix and blend some slanderous lies, and traitorous jeers against our sovereign, and his most gracious Government: for it is a Rule amongst you, that if there be no Treason in the Sermon, or Lying Calumniations in the printed Pamphlet, the one will never be liked and rewarded, nor the other be bought and sold.  
And now Sirtha, I will tell thee of an Anagram of my Name, that describes or emblems my courageous undaunted disposition, as John Taylor, O hearty Lion. It may be join Halter may fall out to thee, and I may be the man that may join it, but be of good comfort if the Dog killer do not mistake thee for a dangerous cur; then I am resolved to give order to the Hangman for thee. Thou sayest, Thou wilt be silent hereafter, and that to answer AULICUS, Naworth, or myself, were to relieve us. Sir, I know I have put thee to silence, I have rammed up thy bawling chaps, for any more meddling with me, but thou meddlest most mischievously with the Planets, and makest most traitorous Expositions of them; the stars and twelve signs will reward thy lying sophisticating Calculations, with their malevolent Influences. Also thou recitest (to a damnable purpose) the story of Saul, Agag, and the murdering of the Protestants in Ireland, when all men of judgement do know that Ireland durst not rebel as long as the Earl of Strafford's head was upon his shoulders: but those that thirsted his blood, did also thirst for the Rebellion there and here too, and all the murders and outrages in Ireland were occasioned by the Brownists and Anabaptists, which villains urged the Papists so violently to infest that kingdom. Should I answer every babble, fable, or knavery in thy pestilent Pamphlet, all my truths and refutations would not lie in one poor sheet, to which this my rejoinder is limited, but for a conclusion I will send thee a Medicine, a requital of the cordial thou sent'st from London to me. I wish thee not to refuse it, for it will cure Diseases in any rebel.  
Recipe 

Of says good works two handfuls.  
Legal Protestations anna one Scruple.  
The Close Committees Loyalty anna one Scruple.  
Rebel's obedience anna one Scruple.  
Anabaptistical duty anna two grains.  
Brownistical zeal anna two grains.  
Schismatical holiness anna two grains.  
Sacrilegious sanctity anna two grains.  
Hypocrites purity anna two grains.  
Whites conscience anna two grains.  
Burges his chastity anna two grains.  
Case and Sedwickes' Divinity one dram.    
Let all these be bound up together in a Holland clout as big as the palm of your hand, and tie it fast with the Line of Communication, let it be watered with the tears of oppressed and distressed Protestants, who are either undone or imprisoned for being true Subjects, then take them and beat them well in the mortar of Common Calamity, with the Pestle of the public Faith; when it is well beaten, mix it with the brains of Booker, May, Wither, Mercurius Britanicus, Prinne, and two or three hundred Knaves brains more, it is an approved Medicine for the increase of Rebellion, for the grumbling in the gizzard, the flux of the Tongue, or the melancholy mubble-fubbles, provided it be taken fasting (upon a full stomach) at five of the clock in the morning after Dinner  
Finis.