THE GRAMMAR WAR. OR The eight Parts of SPEECH, 

Noun,  
Pronoune.  
Verb,  
Participle,  
adverb,  
Conjunction,  
Preposition,  
Interjection,   altogether by the ears. Together with the lamentable burning of a Petty School.  
LONDON, Printed by Robert Raworth, for Thomas Spencer. 1635.   

THE TRANSLATOR, To all Tyroes, or first admitted into the Grammar Squadron.  
COme hopeful young ones, and with fearless fight,  
View the blithe turmoil, of a Grammar Fight.  
It was a Roman field; and higher strain:  
But now brought low, fought on an English plain:  
That every tender head, and Infant eye,  
May judge and see, who gets the Victory.  
And though the parts of speech in conflict are,  
Through wild combustion of Grammatic War;  
Yet one thing jolly Readers grant, that we  
Like substantives and Adictives agree.   

The Preface upon the Historical discourse of the Grammar War.  
THe first and ancient Philosophers that wrote their Poesies covertly hidden under subtle and wily matter, did constitute Pallas the daughter of jupiter, to be goddess of Wisdom, called Minarua, and of War, called Enyo or Bellona. Giving hereby to understand, that of one and the same beginning, in one time altogether and in one substance are two principal things inseparately joined together: which two properties are so knit, that the one without the other is of no force, and the other without his fellow, of small or no account: Yea, they are the principles whereby men attain to the height of Honour, advancing mean men to Honour in their life-time, and immortal fame after death. They are Learning and Martial discipline. Of these two together Noble Greece made separation in her two metropolitanes; when the City of Athens flourished in learning, and the City of Sparta or Lacedemonia glorious in feats of Arms. The noble fame of the Romans grew by the one, and by the other they did always defend them, so that they did successively greatly set store by them. The worthy, valiant, and mighty Eloquent Caesar was decored with them both, and by them did eternise his renown. These two which did so much ennoble Greece, so greatly honour the Romans, and eternise the fame of the great Caesar, are in this present small volume comprised under an angry Argument, and Historical narration of the Grammar War: Lucian an eloquent Greek Author made the first draughts in the battle of the Alphabet letters: But this Author hath waded further, even unto Verbs and Nouns, being principal heads of Oration, and to the adherents of speech, as well to the congruate word, (being the opener and the declarative of the sense) as otherwise, wherein resteth all Art and Knowledge, wherein also all the wisdom of man is comprised: shaping and forming these two heads, and the auxiliary aiding parties with such feigned personages and pretty properties, so apt and to them so quick in quality, that he giveth life, body, weapon and armour to dead words, yea, and sounding voice, to substances inanimate and without soul: so that the Reader in the lecture of this (though feigned) narration and dreadful discovery, shall deem them no more to be vocal words, but by a strong judgement shall think them dapperlie disguised, being transformed into lively persons, going, speaking, and sharply reasoning with continual terrors of martial expedition and exploits, with allegorical conflicts of bloody battle, not only in hostile contention abroad, but also in civil, yea, and intestine Wars at home: so that in the discovery hereof he is nothing oblivious of any thing that appertaineth to the deduction and safe guiding of so great affairs, even from the first causes and intermixed medleys of their adventures, unto the last end of their attempts and endeavours, with all their circumstances, all their tumults and uproars, with their doubtfulness of victory among many martialists, how of bloody battle diverse losses and dangers do follow, and how in the end final peace ensueth. All which matters be so properly penned, and so cunningly compact in this tragedy, that the wars of the Poloponenses, and the civil wars of the Africans in Thucide, in Sallust, and Lucan, are peradueuture more high and diffusedly described: But with more arte, or more compendiously, I am sure they are not. here are placed the mighty, huge, and fearful facts of arms under the figure of so small a thing as of the congruity or discordance of words in Oration, joining letters with weapons, teaching the art Military with the art Litterarie, so well, and so exactly, that the Reader (beside the delight and pleasure that he shall have in the reading of so pleasant an Allegory) shall receive further benefit: For herein is represented in one conceit, two understandings knit together, the one proper and natural, the other tropic and figured. Beside this, he shall comprehend in this same very substance, and by the only labour of one reading, those two so worthy things above mentioned, that do eternise the fame of their fellows, that is lovers of learning, and prudent Martiallistes. The science litterarie, and military, that is to say, the art of Grammar, yea, the Grand mother of all arts and sciences, and the art military (of deduced Wars, under pleasant Metaphorical figures, transported and turned, bereavin, the mind of the literal understanding of small things Verbal, to the consideration of greater, more royal & real) doth manifestly show by example the ambitious move, the imperious desire of Princes to have government, the tumults and partialities of peoples, the profitable and perverse counsel of sundry Counsellors, the seemly sentences, and modest messages of the artificial erands on both parties, their enterprised attempts, and martial orders, the summonning of Soldiers, the charts' of defiance, the denouncing of Heralds, the high and stantely stomaches of the adverse parties to join battle, the seeking of alliance in extremity, the compact confederated of countrymen, the flights, treasons, espies, ambushments, their sudden entraps and skirmishes, the ordinances of arms, the placing of the camp, the pitching of the arrays, the noble cheering of the Captains to their Soldiers, the taking of Towns, the marching of their men, the cruel conflicts, and worthy feats of arms on all sides, the lammentable loss of Captains, the cruel combat of the fighters, the great slaughters on both parties, the fearful flying on all sides, the doubtful meetings of many, the indifferency of their victory, and the final pernicious accidents that ensue through the wars to both sides, the robbing, the reaving, the rapine and disorder that is then in ure, the depopulating of inhabitate countries, the desolate destruction that diverse are damnified by: the commodities and advantages that one realm enjoyeth through the detriment of another: and contrarily, the infinite utillities that ensue through peace and concord, to all realms and Republikes. It was first written in Latin, but now translated, whereby the simple and unlearned English readers, as well as the learned Latinists, might enjoy part of the pleasure that is had in the reaping of this so delectable discourse of the figured war, and bloodless battle, without mortal shot, sweat, or noise of Canon. For the utility of our English Children, but especially beginning to study the Latin tongue, who reading this pleasant fight in their own tongue, might learn by way of mirth and merry pastime, the principal points of the Grammar. Not to hold thee longer in that to which all this but introduceth; If the Book please thee, it will be obvious in Paul's Church-vard and else where; the Stationers may have thy money, but thou shalt have the profit, an I in the interim rest,  
Thine I. S.   

THE GRAMMAR WAR.  
THere is none so simple (as I think,) that doubteth the soil of Grammar to be the fairest and happiest of all the renowned parts and Provinces of the World, as well for the pleasantness of the place wherein it is situate, being in good and wholsesome air, and abundant in all fruits and other good things, without which this mortal life cannot easily be sustained: As also for that she hath always, and ever, been the Nurse and bringer up of all people of renown. For even as in this age, even so long time heretofore, the custom and manner was in this land and country (except among the rude & barbarous Nations) where any were espied of prompt and ready nature, or hopefully inclined, they were sent thither to be taught and instructed, whereby they might attain the most holy and learned Sciences: For by this only way and passage is the entry and access to the highest Countries, and Noble houses of Dialectica, that is Logic, Philosophy, that is learned Wisdom, and Theology, that is the most high and excellent knowledge in Divinity. Insomuch that unless they enter thorough the Province of Grammar, no soul were able to attain to the worthy secrets of the other Provinces. And albeit that the same regions abound in all pleasure, yet notwithstanding they are so environed about with high Mountains, and such sharp Rocks, right dificult and hard to be got up upon, that hardly without a good-guide, any may ever attain to the plain and pleasant path of them. And therefore because mankind should not be restrained from so necessary a benefit, the good and laudable custom ever was, and yet resteth to the Kings of the said land, to send abroad through every part of the universal world, some of their expert Knights and worthy Captains of old bands properly called Pcdagoges, Schoolmasters, that they might aid others, and surely conduct them of tender age to the Princely palaces of the said Kings, (for the mighty, and such as now draw toward age, hardly suffer to be taught of any,) to the end that the youth there being taught in the Sciences of the Greek and Latin tongue, might the easier, and more lightly ascend and go over the foresaid countries. There have all learned greeks and Latins made their apprentishippe, who by their worthy writings, or by the act of others, are immortallized with renowned fame. Being there thus well taught and learned, they have afterward so florishingly lived through the high praise of their illustrious and splendent acts, that living, they were unto all men in their time setters forth of virtuous examples, and after they were dead (yet as alive) showed to those that survived them, as it were by pointing with the finger, the right path and ready way to attain honourable life, and immortal fame. But although that this land of Grammar be none other but indivisible and without partition, yet nevertheless there are two mighty Kings, that there reign and govern, that is to say, the Verb and the Noun. The Verb hath to name Amorett, and the Noun Poeta, who a very long time reigned together in such concord and quietness, that to form Oration perfect (wherein the beauty of them both, the highest place of the one, and the chiefest seat of the other dependeth) no dissension, displeasure or contention was ever heard between them: For in all their territory there grew nothing more esteemed, more worthy, or more sound, than Oration, which being beautified with the most colours of sundry flowers, and decked with the most fair and fine figures, and most sweet and perfumed Buds of set Roses, was of such singular comeliness and authority, that she not only drew unto her mankind, (when the same is right and aptly applied) but may also withdraw any of the Gods which way she will wind them. By reason whereof Euripides saith:  
That which force could not gain,  
That fair speech did soon attain.  
Pyrrhus also used sometime to say that Cyneas did win more Towns with his tongue and comely speech, than he with his Wars. These two Kings then being in such concord, as all the affairs of Grammar were in good appearance and better estate, it happened that for a small thing, dissension sprang between them, whereby upon a very sudden, all was bewrapped in uproar and martial displeasures: For what harm is that, that Wine and insaeiate eating cause not? Thus that so great amity and union between these two Princes was so overthrown at one only banquet, wherein they were both drunken; and ebriety set them in so great enmities one against another, that either of them, pricked forward with ambitious desire of regiment (as wild Bulls stung of gad flies) almost utterly overturned their own realms, and the noble Empire of Grammar.  
But now let us show how their debate happened, to the end that every one may know, that there is no band or knot of amity so strong that desire of superiority may not break, every man loving rather to be served, then to serve other.  
As these two Kings on a time were at a banquet, in the midst of the hot Summer, near to a pleasant and clear spring, having the water bank on the one side, and the other side most pleasant, and singulatly shadowed with the branches of green Willows, and high Plane trees, after they had sufficiently banqueted, being warmed with Wine, and lightened with drinking, a question arose between them, whether of them two were greatest in authority, and of most importance to perform Oration? Then the Verb minding to hold the worthiest place, was sharply withstood of the Noun, affirming, that without him, Oration and speech might not be, and that through him altogether, the same is understood and of better grace: And what dost thou (said he) without me in Oration? If I withhold me a part never so little, the hearers understand thee no more than one were dumb and spoke not. Gather a while a small part of speech without me, and do that the hearers may understand that which thou speakest. Doubtless, if I be not there for an Interpreter, none may so much as guess the least thing of thy meaning. Moreover thou shouldest note, that in so much as I am elder than thou, so much more am I approved worthiest. Who is he that knoweth not the Noun, before the Verb? Or who is he that is ignorant, how the beginning of the Noun is more ancient than the Verb? It is infallible, that God made all things, who if he made all, than he made also the Verb. Now God is a Noun and not a Verb, wherefore now of consequence, by the Noun were all things made, yea, Oration itself was made of God, and so of the Noun. As for thee, O thou Verb (that art so proud) thou hast thy calling of me: Hast thou never read, that among the Sons of Women, is not a greater than john Baptist? This is God's sentence, it is not lawful to go against it. Wherefore if none be greater than john, and john being a Noun; it is apparent to be seen, that there is not, neither may any thing else be greater than the Noun. I could allege to this matter six hundred places, whereby it is proved clearer than the day, that as in worthiness and antiquity, even so in authority and chief place the Noun is preferred before the Verb. All which things I set and leave apart, to the end that men think me not to proceed of the Verb, more through much babbling, then of just cause. O Poeta (answered the Verb) I marvelled before now, why that Divine Plato had expulsed thee out of his common Weal: But now knowing how shameless and light thou art so to intermix the holy Scripture among thy follies: I know well that the learned and wise Plato judged rightly of thee. For had not he exiled thee with many other, forth of the Republic that he ordained, thou hadst by thy false coremonies, fearful Gods, and other things, corrupted the civil manners of his citizens. For what pernicious thing durst not thy great pride and arrogancy, enterprise and attempt? Yea seeing that by the devised deceits, and false writhed witnesses wrested by force from holy Scripture, thou labourest to cast me down from the dignity of the chiefest place, which I have long time in this land possessed. But certainly, for that it shall not seem to thee, that thou alone art learned, I will easily allege more manifest and plain testimonies of the same holy Scripture, that maintain mine authority. I will set here foremost the very beginning of that evangelical Scripture, where it is thus said: In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and God was the word. Open thine ears now, wherefore hidest thou thy face so? God (said he) was the Word, and moreover, all things are made by him: And without him nothing was made. It is not therefore the Noun that made all things, but the Verb. Again, God was a Verb, and not a Noun. Moreover, by the Word the Heavens were made firm and sure, and all their powers.  
What wilt thou now say? There is no mean to defend thee by holy allegations, but thou mayst perceive them to make for me, and not for thee. But let us bend to those points that aptliest tend to our cause: Tell me I pray thee, whence cometh to thee this folly and madness? And whence hast thou so suddenly taken such stomach and hart of grace, that thou darest usurp upon thee the worthiest place in Oration? Knowest thou not that all comeliness, beauty and sweetness cometh of me alone? And that the Noun is always ruled of the Verb, and not that the Verb is ruled of the Noun. The comely featness of the Verb is that, that beautifieth and enricheth Oration: And if I govern thee not therein, thou shalt be half handed, and of no force. Knowest thou how to make a construction, wherein forthwith the chief place is not given me? Behold all men know, that I only that hold the signiory over the Verbs, can without the aid of any other make perfect Oration. Wherefore then speakest thou so impudently? And (as Horace saith) why throwest thou so thy proud and disdainful six cornered words? Who art thou? What art thou? Of what force? Or how great? Not of such authority as thou boastest of, I am sure, that so goest puffed and swollen, that it is marvel thou burstest not in the midst, I am (thou wilt say the King of the Nouns: But what is thy name? Thou wilt answer Poeta. And what is Poeta other then a prattler, a seller of gauds, a deviser of fables, a master of mischief, a brabbler, a Liar, a Drunkard, and a foolish dolt, that coloureth that which is truth, and putteth forth falsehood, and such a one as by prattling fillest and perturbest all the World?  
Which also by thy chat usurpest so much authority among the common and simple sort, that thou darest strive for the dignity against the renowned stock of the Verbs. Foolishly do those fathers that give thee their children to be taught of for what is in thee whereby that youth may be encited to grace and virtuous encouragement, but the Stews of the adulterous jupiter, the jealousy of juno, and the Whoredom of Venus, and of the Ruffian Mars, and such goodly devices imrgined of thine own brain, that having drunk a little more than well, thou, as filled with a divine ghost, and overladen with wine, mad like or devilishly, darest in a Poetical fury mix heaven with earth, and earth with heaven.  
At these words, Poeta the King, all fired in ire, not able to suffer the shame nor the injury that was said to him, answered thus: O thou most mischievous head of man, darest thou speak so boldly such contentious things of us? And there withal caught a Cup in his hand, which had, violently hit him on the face, had not one of the standers by (holding him by the arm) turned the stroke aside. It is not to be doubted now, that in the rage wherein both parties were then, but that words were no blows: But certainly of the elder sort and wisest came upon the same and they bear away the said Kings all drunken into their Palaces: And on the morrow after that the friends of the parties were assembled, there was great enquiry and disputation of the contention happened the day before. Then of the part of the Nouns was sharply blamed, the open throat and unseemly talk of the King of Verbs, and the most part of the Nouns, especially the younger of them marvellously muttered, saying that the tongue of King Amorett ought to be tamed, and to give him to understand, that the mighty majesty of the Nouns was never subject to such reproach and contumely.  
But although the elders that were then there present, especially Terence, admonished them that nothing might be unadvisedly done, but that it was requisite rather first to take counsel then weapon, in that point following the wiser sort: yet notwithstanding all the Nouns with their King, were so fleshed to fight, that it was forthwith fully determined and accorded to offer battle to the Verbs: And thereupon was sent forth a Trumpet to the King Amorett, assuredly to proclaim War against him. On the Verbs part was no wiser counsels held, for when all their Nobility were come together, there was nothing else treated of among them, then to defend the dignity of the Verbes, in the land of Grammar, and to depress and throw down the pride of the Nouns. And behold, hereupon came the Herald of the King Poeta, who diligently declared the charge of his errand. They answered, that with good will they received the defiance, and from thence forward all their minds were bend wholly toward martial affairs. Afterward the King of Verbs, sent Trumpets and messengers to all Nations and lands that were under his signiory, commanding that all such as were able to bear weapon, should be found ready in good order at the day assigned.  
First before all other, came Quando, the Duke of Aduerbes, with six of his Captains, Vbi Quo, Vnde? Quadratus? Quorsum? and Quosque? Quorsum and Quosque were companied with their bands, and under the first Ensign were these renowned Champions. Hic, Illic Isthic, Intus, Foris, Ibi, Ibidem, Sicubi, Alicubi, Alias, Alibi usquam, and Nusquam. Under the second, Huc, Illuc, Istue, Intro, Foras, Alio, Nequo, Aliquo, Siquo, Illo, Eo, and Eorum. Under the third, Hac, Illac, Istac, Alia, Nequa, Illa, and Eadem. Under the fourth, Horsum, Illorsum, Istorsum, Introrsum, Extorsum, Dextrorsum, Sinistrorsum, Aliorsum, Aliquorsum, and Deorsum.  
Under the fifth, Hactenus, Hucusque, Eousque, Vsquemodo, and Vsque nunc. To the sixth band the Captain himself bear the Ensign, marching in the midst of his men, so that two of the said bands were in the Van, and the other three in the Rear.  
Many other Aduerbes served for forerunners, and these discovered the ways and served for Partisans, the rest covered the wings and kept that the bands marched not out of array. The names of them are, Peregre, Pone, Super, Supra, Inter, Infra, Extra, Citra, and Vltra, with many other. After them came other Aduerbes, great of quality, quantity, and number, among whom were those hideous swearing Adverbs, as Aedipol, Enimuero, Ecastor, Medius fidius, and profecto. Also the calling Adverbs, as Heus, etc. The answerers, as Hem. The laughers, as Ha, Ha, Herald The denying Adverbs, Minime and Nequaquam: which Nequaquam albeit he were valiant, and greatly trained up in the wars, was yet withstanding the most untrue and deceitfullest of them all, and would never say truth, but through constraint of danger.  
Now these Adverbs were armed with three kinds of Armour; for they had kind for a Buckler, Signification for an Head-pice, and Figure for a Sword. Many other Adverbs came to the aid of their King: as Indicatives, Frequentatives, Meditatives, Deminutives and Denominatives, with their bands, which were not to be contemned. Anomales (being Verbs out of rule, that bear great sway and lordship in the borders of Grammar) were not last and hind most: doubtless worthy men of War, but yet not able to hold their array, they are called, Sum, Volo, Fero, and Edo, By reason whereof it was permitted them to pitch their Tents in any part of the Camp where they would, lest they might raise uproar among the Soldiers.  
The nation of the Verbs Defectives came also thither very brave, & in goodly order, Memini, Novi, Caepi and Odi: Also Vale, Salve, Aio, Inquit, Faxo, and Cedo, being all armed point device ready to join battle. After them followed all the Verbs Actives, clothed in bone and bravery, and also the Neuters, with the Deponents, Commons, and Impersonals: All of them in sundry fourms and strange languages, and were armed with Genders, Tenses, Moods, Kinds, Persons, and Numbers.  
The King Amorett, after he had thus assembled his host, pitched his camp in the wild plains of Conjunctions, in a place called Copula, and encamped his host there, near the river of Disiunctives called Siver, and divided his Host into four coniugations, giving to every of them a meet place (except to certain familiar Verbs, who were encharged to bear the Baggage of the Infinitives) Their names are, Incipit, Desinit, Debet, Vult, Rotest, jubet, Audet, Nititur, Tentat, and Dignatur, with such like: This office was assigned them, for that they were willing thereto, and had sturdy strength and ability. Last of all came certain Verbs extract from high place, and of great dignity, as Pluit, Ningit, Fulgurat, Tonat, Eulminat, and Aduesperacit; bringing with them certain bands of their most worthy Champions: But the Gerunds, with the Supines, forsaking the Nouns, came and yielded to the Verbs.  
When Poeta King of Nouns heard the great preparation of his adversary, fearing to be suprised with some sudden alarm, if he abode the fury and force of his enemies without preparation to defend him, commanded all the subjects of his Realm that in the speediest manner they might, they should make themselves ready to be in the field armed, and so aptly equipped, as in best wise were possible for them. Then to the aid of the King of Nnunes, First came the Dukes of the Pronouns, as the nearest kinsmen, who for the most part were oftentimes Princes, Ego, Tu, Tui, being of the Blood royal, and of the stock of the Arsacides, with whom were, Meus, Tuus, Noster, and Vester, Nostras and Vestras, Ille, Ipse, Iste, Hic, and Hac. All the Pronouns were parted in many forms, and under sundry Ensigns.  
Some were Primatives, other Derivatives, some Possessives, and some Gentiles. After them came the right worthy Articles, who had a long time haunted the Wars, of which the first was, Hic, Haec, Hoc, The second, Hic, & Haec: The third, Hic & Haec & Hoc, armed with Genders, Numbers, Figures, Persons, and Cases. After them came the grand Captains of Interrogatives, Infinitives, & Relatives, Quia, qui, quae, quod vel quid: and these joined to the host. These were the general referenders of all the land of the King of Nouns, with whom were all the Relatives, and Demonstratives divided into two bands; that is to wit, in Idendity, and Diversity: In the first were Is, Suus, Ipse, Ille, Idem. In the second, Caeter, Alius, Reliquus and Alter. The Prince of the accidental relatives was Qualis, under whom fought Quartus, quot, quotuplex, quatenus, quotenus, quotifarium, cuias and evigena; the queen of the Prepositions called Ad, came thither also with Ab, and In, the husbands of Nouns Casuals, and they brought with them three Ensigns of worthy Amazons; Under the first were A, abs, cum, coram, clam, de, e ex, pro, prae, palam, sine, absque, tenus, which served to the Ablative Cases, Under the second were Ad, apud, ante, adversum, adversus, cis, citra, circum, circa, contra, erga, extra, inter, intra, infra, iuxta, ob, pone, per, propter, prope, secundum, post, trans, ultra, praeter, supra, circiter, usque secus, & penes, all serving to the Acusative cases: But In, sub, supra, and subter, served to both Cases, to the Ablatives, as well as to the Accusatives. Under the third were, Di, dis, re, se an, con, whose office was to purvey potation for the Soldiers, for it was then Lent. Who albeit they were by composition inseparable, lest they should at any time be void of that was enjoined them, were yet inconstant, that sundry times they clave to the Nouns, and somewhile to the Verbs, and therefore they were accounted by the common rogues of the camp.  
Now the Nouns thus divided by bands, marched in goodly array, that is to weet, the Substantives, likewise the Adiectives, Nouns proper, Appellatives, and Participles: After whom were the brave and rich Comparatives, Superlatives, Possessives, Patronymiques, Gentiles, (which were noble) Numerals, and Multiplying, which governed the outward borders. Every of them were divided by five Declinations, to weet, by the first, the second, the third, the fourth and fifth, and they were all armed with Kind's, Genders, Numbers, Figures, and Cases. All the said bands reduced in one, Poeta the King of the Nouns carried his host into the same plain of Conjunctions, and pitched his camp on the other side of the said river Sieve: So that between both the hosts was nothing but the River: By reason whereof, sundry times there happened sharp skirmishes, between those that went there to the water, notwithstanding yet without open battle, for that had both the Kings forbidden, because all needful necessaries for the Wars, were not yet very ready.  
Now either of these Kings conveied to induce to his part the Participle; a man doubtless of very great authority thorough all the land of Grammar, yea, in puissance and dignity, altogether next and nearest the King: Who without doubt was able also to cause victory to whether side he would wind him. By reason of this, as well the Verb as the Noun, left nothing unassayed, either of them, hoping to have him on their side: Poeta the King of Nouns putting forth foremost, wrote to him in this manner: I doubt not (O my brother) but that thou knowest with what pride and puffed stomach Amorett the King of the Verbs is risen against me, and against the dignity of Nouns, and by what law I mind to occupy the chiefest seats to construe Oration: for which thing, seeing that the fame doth so much move and displease me; I am forced to take arms, and set Soldiers in the field, that his pride being beaten down, we may keep our signiory in his right, uncorrupted. And s●hens thou knowest how much thou art bounden to the nation of the Nouns, and what great benefit thou hast received of us, as Genders and Cases, Numbers, and Figures: Thou shalt therefore do a work worthy of thy faithfulness and friendship, if with thy men of war and thy Soldiers, thou come to join with us to defend our common Titles, our common riches, and common hope. For if the dignity and lordship of Nouns be destroyed, think not thou to find any sure place in all the land of Grammar, And so farewell: Beseeching thee to set forward thy coming in the speediest wise thou mayest.  
On the other side, Amo the King of Verbs, wrote to the said Participle in this wise: I know very well (O dear brother) how thou art by our enemies very instantly solicited to be on their part, to war against us: And albeit that we have hope, that by thy singular wisdom thou wilt not do any thing so rash or unadvisedly, yet nevertheless it seemtth good unto us, to admonish and advertise thee, that thou consider in thyself what commodities thou hast received of us, and what increase of dignity the Verbs have made thee, in making thee partaker of their Tenses and Significations, Numbers, and Figures. And if thou hast any small benefit of the Nouns, those that thou receivest of us are much more, yea, and also greater. Thou shalt therefore do best if thou repair us our happy fold, not alone to keep and defend us, and the lordship of the Verbs, but also thou thyself, and thine. For thus think with thyself, that if I have the worst, mine enemies will not withhold them from running upon thy lordship, and turn thy victorious arms against thee: That they all alone may with their mad will run in and spoil all the land of Grammar. Farewell.  
The Participle after that he had read the said letters of the two Kings, thought now of the one, then of the other, and had sundry thoughts in his head, considering with himself that he could not part with neither of them, without great and evident loss of his own goods. Contrarily if he should seem to minister, he might not only enjoy the favour of them both, but also that he rather wished to see them low brought through the hazard of the wars, that they being destroyed, he might afterwards alone without resistance possess the said land of Grammar: and therefore thought good to dissemble, feeding them with fair words, until he knew who should have the better: therefore he wrote to them in this manner.  
I have most puissant Kings, received your letters, and I have read them with great sorrow and trouble of mind, knowing that between two such Princes so knit, is fallen such discord, that you cannot withhold you from overthrowing through cruel warre, your own lordships, and that renowned Empire. But wherewith are you vexed? Or what harm holdeth you? And whence cometh this madness? I beseech you consider a little whither you go. How will our common enemies (those beastlike citizens of Ignorance, and that sloven-like people of Barbary) rejoice, understanding the strength of two such Princes to be so wasted through their own contentious quarrelling? I adjure you by the high Gods above and beneath, that ye would withhold you, and forbear such deadly, mortal, and abominable battles, least that through damnable desire of superiority you bewrap in uproars & slanders the good liest Province of all the world. But if destiny will have it so, & that you be so fully purposed to debate your quarrel by the sword, I purpose to take part with neither of you, seeing my lordship dependeth in part of the Verb and in part of the Noun.  
And for that I am greatly bound to you both, with what I can I will aid you both with Victuals, Munitions, and other necessary things: But as touching facts of arms, I will withhold me, and I will cause my Soldiers to be assembled in arms, to keep in at home, that through incourses no injury be done by any, on the frontiers of mine own land: Fare ye well.  
And albeit that he had thus written to them, this subtle and wily Fox nevertheless, through all possible means he might, maintained the quarrel, and by his privy letters incited the minds of both nations eagerly to itch against othen, hoping thereby (as I have said) that he should attain to the signiory of the whole Grammar after their total destruction. Then having assigned a day for his subjects to be assembled in, was in a most trim and brave Company. First the Terminats in Ans, ens, dus, rus, tus, sus, ius, were therewith the Nouns verbal in Tox, trix, and such like, which were neighbours of the Verbs and Nouns, and joined with the Párticiples. Likewise the Gerunds and Supines, to avoid these civil wars, withdrew them also from the Verbs, and fled to the Participles. These things thus appointed, the Participle sent great gifts to both sides, to be always and still in their favour: and first he sent to the Verb these undernamed Neuter Passives, to were, Gaudeo, soleo, audeo, fio, prandeo, Coeno, iuro, titubo, placeo, nubo, careo, moereo, poto, taceo, and quiesco. To the King of Nouns he gave the ending in Tor and trix. He sent also for wages to the host of Verbs an hundreth Wagons of Preter Tenses, of Present and Future Tenses. Item, a thousand Camels laden with Figures, Simples, Composites, and Decomposites: And to the Noun, he sent by the river Sieve, ten ships laden with Nominative and Genitive Cases, with as many Singular and Plural Numbers, and a great number of other, Masculine Genders, Feminines, Neuters, Commons and all. This done, he held him in his country with his men of war, awaiting to whether side forture would turn her. In the mean while, these two warlike Kings having very well made provision of all things necessary to give battle, awaited nothingelse than some fit occasion to commence the War. But it chanced that two of the worthiest towns of Grammar, (to weet) A, and V, were taken unappointed by the King of Verbs, albeit that then all towns were indifferently subject, and paid equal tribute to both the said kings, as much to the one, as to the other, being moreover, in no thing more in service to the one King, then to the other.  
When Poeta the king heard this, he took by the like policy three other Towns, E, I, O: The other hearing this, kept them to their strongest watch, and keeping their liberty, were common to both parts, whose names are, B, C, D, E, G, L, M, N, P, Q, R, S, T, X, Z, and of them doubtless cometh all the force of Grammar. To either of the Kings were given two Dipthongs to be their trumpets, for they were taught by sound of trump, to move the spirit of all the Soldiers for to fight, ae, and oe, served to the king of Nouns: Au, and Yew, to the Verbs. Beside this, certain jesting or gibing Women followed both the hosts, that moved the minds of the Soldiers in sundry affections: For some wept and bewailed the slaughter that should be among them of Grammar, yea, and that they felt the same near them already, as Oh, ah, he, heu, and hei: Other were displeased, and reproved the contention of these Kings, as Vah, va, and atat. Other wondered at such dissension fallen between so great friends, as Papae, vaha and vah: Other as fools incited and encouraged the Soldiers to fight, as Ei● and Euax. Moreover all the men of War and Soldiers being well appointed, and ready to enter into the battle, in seem● good to the King of Verbs that on his part gladly with all his heart, he would withdraw to commence civil Wars And to cloak his doing in, or with some honest manner, wrote a letter to the king of Nouns, in this tenor:  
O Poeta, thou hast well understood in what appointment and ready strength I am come down to show myself in the field give the battle: And again thou may know that there are not in thee sufficient forces able to abide, and withstand the violent rushing in of the legions of my men of Warre. Therefore thou shalt do wisely, if in leaving me in my estate, thou withdraw unto the territories.  
But if thou be so senseless, that it must be had by the edge of the sword, then know thou that three days hence, I will beeready with mine host in the plain field to fight, there to receive thee.  
When the Trumpets Au and Eu had given their letters to the king of Nouns; He answered them according to his Council, in this wise:  
O Amorett, thou ever hast too many words, but it is now no time to amaze the ears of the hearers with thy much babbling: Thou boastest thy valiant host, & thy fearful prepared ordinance, as if on our side we had none but Dwarves and Grasshoppers. Thy possession hath ever been very little in Oration: But yet thy folly leadeth thee thither, from whenc thou mayest not fly, until with that part of Lordship (by thee wrongfully won, worse governed, and naughtily retained) thou be by just war chased out. And for that thou shalt know how little, not I only, but mine, do waeye thee, and how smally we fear thy threatenings; our Heralds ae and oe shall show thee, their bare buttocks if thou wilt, Farewell, such as I wish thee: Adieu to the devil for ever and aye.  
By these letters the hearts of them poisoned one against another, did all await with fiery stomaches the last assigned day of battle. In the mean while, by occasion of such troubleous time, there arose (as commonly doth in such business) a licence of most mischievous deeds, and there went forth a company of privy pilferers through the whole Province of Grammar, seeking their prey, and especially in Wooddie places, and from the hills espied the passengers, and spoiled the Victuallers that went to the Camps Whereby great dearth and scarcity of Victuals daily increased in both the hosts. By reason whereof, certain worthy Captains, with sufficient number of Soldiers were by the consent and decree of both Kings, sent out to slay these robbers, or else to drive them far out of the land of Grammar. They being come thither, the Soldiers did enclose a very thick wood, where they had vnderstood that there were a great number hidden: So they beset them, that one escaped not vn taken. Among whom was a certain fellow called Catholicon that drove a great A●●laden with Greek & Latin words bound up together, and carried them into Italie.  
Item, an old Dunce called Ignoramits, with a young younker surnamed Dulman which also with a great one-eyed Mule, drove a Wagon laden with false and broken Rules, and fowl forms, not only of old Phrases, but also of Latin terms, wherewith he hoped to be enriched in the burroughes and towns, selling them as precious things set in glass, to make latin of glass, which might have day seen through it. Moreover this younker Dulman was found puffed full of false pieces of money, and counterfeit coin, being base bullion, which he caused to be taken for good, being of an untrue stamp which he had, forged, and of the said money he had filled all the land of Grammar. Likewise there was taken a great and greasy lazy lordane, that made himself be called Grecismus, that had made lean all the Victuallers that went to the camp, to stuff a great, foul, rank, stinking, and rotten calf's paunch with. There was also taken one Pylades, that had robbed all the ways he went in, and bodily punished as they had merited, some quartered and cut in pieces, some burnt in the fire, other cast into the dungeons of perpetual and stinking prisons. He that took and punished Grecismus, was a right worthy Captain called Toussan or Tusan: The robberrie of Pylades was discovered and debarred by a noble captain, very well acquainted in the Wars, which was called john of Cuvella, that so swelled that he was in peril of the dropsy, but one gave him a short glister, that did bring him in slender form, and more lean & easy to be borne than he was. All the rest of his robberous rabble were destroyed, slain and buried in a great and dark dungeon. Catholicon that among them was called the great, was brought to the camp with his Ass, who confessed on the rack (albeit it were a thing manifest) that he had stolen all these words in the land of Grammar: Then when he was asked aught in Greek, he answered that he understood not the Greek, and of the Latin but a very little. Then said the judges, wherefore carriest thou with thee Greek words, seeing that thou understandest not? Then he answered: there is so great ignorance of learning with us (saith he) that albeit I speak grossly, yet can I easily make them believe that I am through lined in every corner with all the eloquence of Attica. All they which were there, hearing this, fell in a great laughter, and said: By Saint George, seeing that thou hast such hearers as thou hast, that which we know not the due owners of, thou shalt carry with safe conduct to thy people and nation: But that which we shall know to belong to any, that we think good to be rendered to the due owners. Then after they had made diligent search, all the Greek words almost were given Isydore, whose they were, and the remnant of the Latins; to which business was appointed the master of the Trench-men, called Calapine, with the courteous Captain, Anthony of Nebrisse. The intermixed, rotten, and secret hidden words were given him, and so they permitted him to go his way with his Ass lighter laden than before: Nevertheless they forbade him at any time ever after, to be so hardy as to call himself a Grammarian, except among the rude and barbarous people. In these business, one Priscian, a very renowned man, and of great honour in the land of Grammar, for that he could not suffer the said land to run into total ruin through civil war and contention, hasted toward the camp in post to make an agreement, and being taken, was spoiled and sore beaten of the felonish fellowship of Catholicon, and was so wounded on the head, that there was no salve able to heal him. Shortly after, among these fellows was taken one, who falsely and shameful said that he was an Historiographer, and had gathered together a great bundle of jesting foolish gauds in a great volume, called Supplementum Chronicharum, who forced thorough question, confessed that all they were stolen things: And so he was exiled for ever into the land of Ignorance. As these things were doing, certain of the Verbs anomales, as Sum, voto, fero, with three companies of their handmaidens, made an assault and took away a prisoner of the captains of the Nouns named Caeter, which was of the race of Relatives, and they took him hidden with his fellows in an ambush, in what cave I know not, near to the by-pathway of the Conjunctions, Quod and Quam, and him they slew, with all his Singulars. His Plurals seeing the danger they were in, made a vow to jupiter, to sacrifice him the remnant of their goods, and so they escaped whole and sound miraculously. When tidings hereof were told to King Poeta, he was marvelously moved, and it greatly grieved him to lose such a Captain: For this Caeter was very stout and full of stomach even to the uttermost, and in feats of war he had no peer.  
The king of Nouns therefore feeling himself greatly endamaged with the loss of Caeter and his Singulars, diligently awaited occasion, whereby he might render double the like to his enemies. But fortune, who can in all things do very much, and chiefly in war, gave him shortly after the way to revenge him of the wrong. For in those days many legions of Verbs of no small authority were taken prisoners by certain light horsemen of the Nouns. Among whom was Dice, face, fore, and duce of the band of the Imperatives and commanders. From whom through great ignomy was cut a-away by the King's commandment, the hinder skirts of their garments, so that they showed their buttocks, and so sent them away again, so that ever since they were called only Dic, duke, fac and far. Afterward he commanded that the prisoners should be slain, namely Fuo, specio, lo and pleo, whose goods were by the king of Verbs given to their lawful children, descending of them in line, as Fui, fueram, fuissem, fuisse, and futurus: And the children of specio, who were a great number, as Aspicio, conspicio, and such like: And also to them of Leo, and pleo, as Doleo, impleo, compleo, suppleo, repleo, expleo, opleo. At the very same season was bewrayed a great treason to the host of the Verbs, how certain horrible hooresons of the stock of Preterperfectes, being soldiers, to cloak their treason, and not to be known, were disguised after the manner of the greeks, though they were of the Latin tongue, and being taken, had two heads. These had conspired and laid wait for the king of Verbs: but being taken and convict of the fact, were declared traitors, and condemned of trespass against the King: They were called Momordi, cecidi, cucurri, pependi, spospondi, pepigi, didici, poposci, tetuli, cecini, peperi, tutudi, pepuli, fefelli, memini, pugugi, and tetigi, from whom was cut off one head at that present: So that whereas they were before time called, Momordeo, cecido, cucurro, they be now called, Mordeo, cedo, curro, and so of the rest. From Tetuli were cut off both heads, as well of the Preter, as of the Present-tence: Albeit that Terrence through pity thought to simon the same again of the Preter tense with Balm, but it held not. Now as the time of fight drew near, the said kings set up in the highest place of their host, a red cloak, to advertise the Soldiers that they should shortly join together in fight, that they might prepare and propose themselves thereto, taking their repast, and whetting their weapons, might make their munitions ready, with all other things pertaining to such affairs. In the morning, after the Soldiers had dined on both sides without any noise making, the whole host assembled to the said place. Then when they had all ranged in battle array with displayed ancients, the said Kings besought and required their soldiers earnestly to behave themselves well and worthily: But it was no need, seeing that they of themselves were already fired enough. For all as madmen shook their Pikes with so great and stout a stomach, that they cared for nothing but to strike, and awaighted nought but the sign of the onset and alarm: And hereupon hehold, the Trumpets blew the onset, on both sides. On the other part the earth resounded and rang again, and in both hosts were made great shouts and cries, the heads of both hosts made great vows, and every of them stomached and cheered up their soldiers: Then every one did what he could and knew to be done, they stroke together with great handy strokes of Swords, broke their Pikes, that the air rang again of the cry of the fighters. In the air was nothing seen but clouds of smoke and brimstone: On both sides were great store wounded, and of dead corpeses plenty. O there was a goodly sight to see the Verbs Defectives (among the rest) fight against the Nouns Heteroclites. These Nouns accompanied with their Nominative Cases, with their Genders, also with their Genitives, and Plural Numbers, did fiercely lay upon their enemies. The Verbs Defectives did stoutly and courageously withstand and put apart these Nouns Heteroclites, with their Indicatives accompanied with their preter-perfect-tenses, so that by their Coniugations they break through force, the Numbers and Genders of the other.  
Ofthese Verbs, there was one called Aio, who using singular hardiness, did for a long space resist two Nouns Heteroclites so long, that in the end being no more able to withstand their furious forces, lost diverse of his Persons, Modes, Tenses, and Numbers, and then rested only unto him, Ais, ait, aiunt, aiebam, aiebas, aiebat, and aiebant: The rest passed thorough the sword.  
The air was obscured and made dark with the arrows that the Number's Singulars and plurals shot. The shot of the Figures Composite and Decomposite, flew whistling so round, and rightly into the ears of every one, that they were all as deaf. A great number were hurt by the darts of the kinds of Primatives, and Derivatives. The Trumpets likewise that went on every side, sounded a fearful Taratantara; so that the sound thereof encouraged the fighters marvellous full of stomach and hardy, to bear the blows and sturdy stripes of their enemies. And in the midst of these, troublous railing Women, the Interjections that went about the arrays, vexed and sore troubled them all, through their moving and fickle affections: Among whom for the most part were often heard these pitiful and dolorous cries, Heu, and hei: oh, ah, eh. Notwithstanding this war was more fierce and cruel then long in fight, and had it not been for great abundance of rain, that through a sudden storm and tempest which fell from the clouds, even at that present made the medley to depart and break off, then doubtless had there been an end of all the forces of Grammar. Such and so great was the furious rage that they had every one of them, one against another, yea until that point, that albeit the Trumpets sounded the retreat on both sides, and they all greatly encumbered with the water, nevertheless could they be unmingled and separate asunder one from another, to return again to their colours: The victory abroad doubtful and uncertain, neither was it known of any, whether had the better or the worse, for on both sides there was a marvellous many, as well of sore wounded as of slain, not only of common Soldiers, but also of high and chief Captains. It is not possible for any to tell the great losses that were there on both sides: Notwithstanding I will endeavour to show plainly and manifestly, and in the onliest manner I can, that which some did win or lose there (though I cannot say of every one in particular) this will I do, to this end, that they that come after may be better advised. First the part of the Verbs Defectives, Infit, lost all them that were descendent from him, all his Genders, Tenses, Moods, Persons and Numbers, that were of the fourth Conjugation, of Figure Composite, and of the Singular number. He himself escaped safe, for ceiling himself in peril, he made a vow, that of no kind of religion, godly, or otherwise, he would after any more bear the livery: And therefore he was at that brunt so sore affrighted, that since he hath been very seldom seen publicly in the land of Grammar. Before was bereavest and robbed of all his goods, except Foreste, foret, and fore, which are of the third Conjugation, Vale, ave, salve, of the kindred and stock of the Imparatives (lost a great many of their fellows) which are yet living, the rest were lost. Faxo, of the same stock of Actives, escaped only with three of his, all the rest of his band after him were slain, except faxis, faxit, and faxint, who saved themselves with him by flight. Inquio, of the stock of the Neuters, kept Inquis, inquit, inquiunt, inquam, inquies, inquiet, inquient, inque, and inquam: The rest perished in the Wars. Inquiens at that time was with the Participles, and so escaped. Apage, and apagite, when they had lost all their fellows, escaped alone. Diet, lost also all his fellows, except diescit. Facio was put from his son factor, who notwithstanding before he died, did constitute by knightly testament an heir, Fio: posco, disco, metuo, timeo, renuo, respuo, compesco, urgeo, linquo, and all they of the race of the Actives, lost their Supines. Some Verbs lost their Preter-tenses of the third Conjugation, and in place of them they after recovered the Preter-tenses of the fourth Conjugation; among whom was Cupio, peto, quaero, arcesso, facesso, and fero. Some Verbs, having lost their Future in am, to the end that they would not hence forth wholly lose the hope that was to come, bought other Future's in Bo, at the Fairs of Recanetum, as Eo, queo, and vaeneo: But Horace by his authority gave to Lenio, lenibo. All Verbs belonging to beauty lost all their Supines, among whom was Luceo, fulgeo, splendeo, polleo, and such like. Fulcio using a singular hardiness escaped out of peril, and held his fultum: But seeing we have recounted and told of them that received loss, it is not meet to hold of no account these Verbs, that behaving themselves well and worthily, had both spoils and dignities, which they received of their King, beside these others that they first had and enjoyed, among other were elevate and set up in great honour, Canon, curo, careo, moereo, nubo, and prandeo, for beside their own Preter-tenses, they received also the Preter-tenses of the Passive voice. Redimo was enriched in his Five Tenses of nature, and at that present obtained four Significations, as to deliver, to lead and govern, to deck and ornate, and to take to farm. Solor wonne three significations, as to be alone, and to comfort and exhort. Explicat, beside his own sense, which is, to explicat and show forth plainly, received, that he might declare, show, that he might draw, that he might represent and deliver. Valco, beside his own sense, which is to be in health and whole, won so much, that when he said vale, that he might salute also and sometime curse too. Presto had four significations, as, to lend, and to be aloft, to do good, and hold promise, with diverse other significations. Haurio was as much enriched, for he had four significations, as to draw out, to wound, to hear, and see, and diverse other such like: and all they when needs is, are reduced into one. Pasco received two understandings, to feed and bring up. Vaco, albeit he meddled not much among the fighters (for as Socia saith in Plautus, the fiercer they fought, the faster he fled) nevertheless, fortune that oftentimes giveth reward to the slothful, would enrich his cowardice with the best of the spoils: for as he espied certain of his enemies that were fled and gone away, he crept out of his Cabin and cloaked them in his fist: who after bought them again with a great sum of silver, and he won beside his own former sense, seven other, to weete, to understand, to leave of, to serve, to be superfluous, to be lawful, not to have, and to be empty. Studeo wan three significations, as to solicit, to desire earnestly and to be very painfully busied. Pango received three senses, as to sing, and hath given him panxi in his preter-tense to make truces, and hath given to pepigi to fasten and join together. Sapio from that day had two senses, to weet, to give knowledge, and to be wise. Fero, one of the four annomales gained three senses, as to uphold, to desire, and to bear. Confiteor had three senses, to praise, to purge, and to make manifest. Supero received seven senses, by reason of the great authority that he had among the Verbs: as to remain in part, to overcome, to be near, to go further, to escape, to overlive and exceed. Some Verbs there were, which having lost their own preter-tenses, had of their king the goods of other Verbs Passives which were slain at the battle: as Audeo, Fido, Gaudeo, Soleo, and Fio. These pestiferous and perilous perilous lying Verbs, which always have in their heart and mind, other then in the mouth, albeit they had no part of the prey, yet ought not they and their names to be left in oblivion, but spoken of, to the end that every one might know them, and so beware: Seeing that always under the colour of a cloak of the active, they bear the passive voice: They are called exulo, veneo, nubo, liceo, and vapulo, This last of all is the most wily and subtlest: and therefore so much wiser as the boy is, so much the more heed will he have to decline his wily ambushes, If he have good care to keep his posteriors. Now seeing we have already showed as well as we are able, that which happened to the Verbs, it seemeth good in our account that we speak also of Nouns. Oversight was made in and thorough the host of the Nouns, and it was found how fortune had been as much divers to one part as to another, and to the end that we begin by the positives, there was certain of them, that being hurt in their Comparatives, received dressing and cure through the diligence of certain expert Physicians, as melior, minor, dexterior, sinisterior, plus, magnificentior, and muneficentior, all Irregular, and descending of the second Declension. But Pius, arduus, egregius, tenuis, and suchlike, lost their own Comparatives. The Nouns ending in er, lost imus, in their Suparlatives: And for the same they had rimus, as tener and saluber. To others for that they had lost simus was given limus, as Humilis, facilis, gracilis, similis, agilis, and to vetus, was given veterrimus.  
Among Trees were certain Nouns, that quitting themselves manfully, by a sudden miracle changed altogether at once their kinds, becoming of females, males, every one astonished at the sudden case, demanded whence came such transformation to them: Of them were rubus and oleaster, which Livius saith were evil and unlucky tokens, and therefore affirmed he that they ought to be cast into the bottom of the Sea, or else to be exiled out of the land of Grammar. But the King Poeta jesting at the fond superstition that they had in the miracles, did prohibit all and every of them, to harm, or any way to hurt them, saying that it was not an evil sign or unhappy accident to be changed from women into men: saying that out of a naughty and crooked kind, they were turned into a good and better. From certain Nouns Heteroclite, fight against the Verbs Defectives, were cut away both cod and cullion in the Plural number, so that afterward there was in that Number neither man nor woman but chaste Neuters: which doubtless is a thing greatly to be pitied. Their names were Sibilus, Avernus, Infernus, Menalus, Supparus, Baltheus, Tartarus, Dindymus: Other had better chance, for when in the same Number they were Neuters, were glad forthwith to see them become males: as Porrum, rastrum, frenum, and coelum. But the said porrum and rastrum, as they went thorough Rome, found in the markets of Agon● their Neuter plurals, and there they bought them again with a great sum of money, and giving leave to the males, loved better to hold them to them there, Balsamum among all Nouns and trees abode only a Neuter: By reason whereof seeing that he could not beget nor bring forth young, is in so great scarcity, that he is no where seen, but in the land of juda, which is the cause (as sorrowful) he yieldeth his fruit all in tears: As for other Nouns that were bereft of their Plural Neuter, received the Feminine for amends, as Epulum, ostreum, vesper, and cepe. But truth is, of all creatures, the Oysters only were Neuters: But above all authors, Pliny, and the Poets hold them for Neuters: Wherefore Ouia saith thus: Ostreaque in conchis tuta fuere suis, so that afterward they gaired so, that they became as much Feminine as Nenters: others that were of the Doubtful gender, received the Masculine in their Plural number, as Cardo, bubo, and such like: Other that were spoiled of all their Cases Plural, abode ever since dismembered and maimed; among whom were Fumus, imus, fimus, puluis, sanguis, mundus, pontus, sol, shall, and unus, all of the Masculine gender. Hardly is seen any time more than one Sun in the firmament, but when it happeneth so, it is not natural, but rather wonderful: likewise also certain Feminines lost their Plural Cases, as Lux, sitis, labes, mors. vita, fames, tabes, gloria, fama, salus, pax, humus, lues, tellus, senecta, soboles, inventa, indolis, and proles.  

These fought so feebly in the host,  
That all their plurals there they lost.   
Other Feminines lost at the said conflict their Singular Number, as Argutiae, habenae, bigae, blanditiae, cimae, delitiae, exequiae, excubiae, exuviae, phalerae, facetiae, genae, gades, insidiae, induciae, calendae, lachrymae, latebrae, minae, and many other. Other Neuters were spoiled of all their plurals, as Coenum, foenum, aevum, solum, pus, and virus: Furthermore, other were put from all their Singular numbers; as Arma, castra, exta, cunabula, crepundia, pascua, moenia, mapalia, magnalia, ilia, seriaprae, coma, precordia, and sponsalia, yea and also all the names of Feasts, as Saturnalia, Dionysia, Aphrodysia, Bacchanalia, Floralia, and Neptunalia. These vain Nouns, which always do say many, and signify one only, having lost all their Singulars, saved themselves by flight, as Venetiae, Pisae, Cuinae, Athenae, and Thebae. All the names of Metals, especially Aurum, and Argentum, which every one laboureth to take Prisoner, Auricalcum, plumbum, ferrum, and stannum lost their plurals. A● hadly retained hibaera. In like manner for the great heat and alteration of the combat, the measures were spoiled of the Plurallitie of their liquors, except of Wines and Honeys, which in the Plural Cases were spared, to the end that they might do king Poeta service with new Wines, for that he loved them well. Oleum, and frumentum, by like misfortune were so gluttonous, that thorough the great scarcity that was in the host, they were not found in Plurallitie. Other abroad, shortened in the end of their Genitives, and Datives plural, as jura, thura, aera, maria, and fora. Yet nevertheless all Nouns had not the worse part; for divers of them had of the spoil of their enemies: by reason whereof they were of greater authority than before: so that some received other Nominative cases beside their former: As Arbour, which also hath arbos: Honour, which hath honos: Odor, which hath odos: cucumber which hath cucumis: Ciner which hath cinis; and Puluer, which hath puluis. Notwithstanding they occupy not these always, but keep this share for high Feasts, as for trim and nice dressing for honour's sake. Plaga, albeit through hurting he bled, yet won be four other senses without account of the first (that signifieth a Wound or hurt) as when you would say, the Arming cord of a net, also a great space of the Heaven and earth (called Clima) also a great kind of Linen, such as the old matrons of Rome wear when they go in the City, and also for a bed, or any part of a bed; Opus the same day won other three senses: for Opus signifieth earth: Under Open he giveth Aid, under Opibus, Riches. The The Gerunds and Supines, because they were so often fled to the enemy, were amerced to fine, after peace was made between both the said Kings, through the earnest complaint and supplication of Demosthenes, who alleged the laws of Solon, by which it was commanded, that such were to be put apart from all honour, and Offices, that in any sedition had not held that part of the one nor the other: For that such a one thinketh altogether of his own business, and reckoneth not of the Common wealth: The greatest part of them in the land of Grammar lived after the laws of Athens. Afterward therefore the King of the Nouns left to the Gerunds no more but only three cases, taking away from them for the trespass of their default all their other Cases. To the Supines, only were reserved but two: which greatly grieved all the inhabitants of Grammar, sharply blaming such a sort of foolish precepts of Solon's laws, as much as the fond reasons of Demostenes, whom they jested at, saying, that he had left his cunning at home, his distaffs, bands and wool, and that he had not feigned the disease of the throat in vain, to have yearly reveneves and preferment: because he hoped not to have so much money of the Gerunds and Supines, as be sometime had of Harpalus. Surely if I would describe forth all the losses and misfortunes orderly as they ought to be, and also all the conquests of the worthiness of every one that changed in that day, my matter would be too long: and therefore I will here make an end: And this may suffice, that whatsoever is found lost, wasted, or joined to, and grown up through all the land of Grammar and his borders and utter limits, is wholly proceeded through the same hard, hideous, and mortal sight among them. In the same time of the Wars, sprang up many new words, and sundry old were put apart & rejected. And had not three honest persons been chosen for arbitrators (of whom we shall speak by and by) which by their power and ability withstood the naughtiness of certain Grammatistes, or slender Grammarians, so great Barberousnesse had then been so mixed through the Latin tongue, and the same then been so mingled with foolish words, that all hope had been lost ever to restore the same again to his honour, and comely beauty. Therefore after that the Retreat was sounded of both the hosts, and that they had numbered as well the wounded as the slain, and known the great loss that was of both the hosts, they all began to fall on sighing: and the sight of such a slaughter of their people greatly grieved them, through desire of superiority. Wherefore every of them repenting, sought now nothing else then to make peace.  
And first of all Poeta King of Nouns, after he had called his Soldiers together (but not without tears) said these words: I think well that you know (O my fellow Soldiers) how dolefully, and against my will, I have taken arms to defend and uphold the honour (as I thought then) and the authority of the Nouns, against our brethren the Soldiers of the Verbs, and by how many ways I have assayed to defer and put off long between us the wars, that they might leave us quiet in our estate. But when I think not only of our own loss, but also of theirs: Again when I behold the dead corpses on both sides, I have greater desire to lament then to speak. Therefore it behoveth us to remember that, which some of our good old Citizens and Burgeses wrote of the discord and civil Wars, as well of the Romans as the greeks, and how with great reproaches they blame and detest the ambition of them. In truth if we had thought of this at the first, we never had gone to so great folly, neither had we also (as blinded with anger and rage, franticly and as void of reason) torn our proper flesh so with our own hands as we have: That which is done and passed, is easier to be reproved then amended: Nevertheless it is better to stay thus, then to follow on a naughty beginning: For if we will be so mad as to continue fight amongst ourselves, doubtless then is the principality of Grammar utterly come to confusion, and then shall be made so great an excess and entry into the same, to the Barbarous and ignorant people, that they only will rule all, there being none to resist them, or prevent them. By reason whereof (O my fellow soldiers) for the commodity of both Realms, I am willingly determined to make peace with the King of Verbs, and of mine own free will, will go toward him, and give him mine hand. Notwithstanding, think not that I speak thus because I have lost stomach, or that I am timorous; but because there is nothing more sure, that the affairs of the Nouns and Verbs can continue, unless they be friends tigether, knit and quiet in one: Of myself I do mine office, not doubting but that I teach you that; which serveth to the continuing benefit and commodity of every one in general, being ready willingly to do what your will is.  
This profitable Oration, and no less necessary saying of the King, greatly pleased all the assembly, and all the crew of the Soldiers cried aloud, desiring that that which the King had so wisely spoken, might be as diligently done. So there was sent into the camp of the Verbs for Ambassadors certain of the wisest and chiefest of the Nouns: who having first made without much difficulty a truce, finally came in such agreement with the king of Verbs, and his greatest Lords, that three personages should be chosen, which should be exactly seen, and have understanding in all customs, rules and terms of Grammar: and that to their award and arbitrement (by solemn oath being sworn thereto) both parties should hold them, and their rest; without any contradiction. Great was the difficulty, and much more was the disputation, to whom the charge should be given to make the treaty of the peace. Many procured means to have the same office on them, and to diverse was the voice given, and other again took it from them: In the end it was agreed by Priscian, Linacrus, and Despauterius, that Lilius should have the charge and authority to knit and make sure the Articles of the peace: who being sent for, came to the camp, and having there heard the reasons on both sides, and diligently weighed all the business; In the end pronounced this sentence.  
To the Kings of Grammar, to their Gentlemen, to their Citizens, and all Students good hap and commodity be that which now is discussed. Whereas we were deputed to take away the contentious disorders, to put apart all the slanders, wrongs and damages that heretofore have come upon the Kings of Grammar, and their soldiers, all which we revoke, take away, and blot out: which if they may not be forgotten, at the least our decree is, that they be never hereafter more spoken of.  
Item, That henceforth when a solemn Oration cometh to be made, that both the Kings of Grammar in good agreement with their subjects come together, as Verb, Noun, Pronoune, Participle, adverb, Conjunction, Preposition, Interjection.  
Item, We appoint that in common and familiar speech, the Noun and the Verb only do bear the burden, taking for their help whether of them they will, but to leave the other by, to the end that being put too often in work, they be not molested.  
Item, We ordain that the Noun serve to the Verb, and when he goeth formest as touching the case, ought also to be governed of the Verb, but in speech that the Noun be before the Verb, and the same being after, ought therefore to govern the Noun touching his Case: but concerning his Persons and Numbers, the Verb ought to give place to the Noun, Pronoune, or Participle.  
Item, We appoint the Participle bear remembrance of the Nouns and the Verb, and have the government of the Verb before him first, and that of the Noun after him last.  
Furthermore we permit the Verb, where need is to make an Oration himself alone, in the first and second Person, and also in the third Person in certain Verbs of action always notwithstanding under the authority of the Noun, but not expressing the same.  
This sentence was given and published in the presence of both parties, and it pleased very well all the assembly, and hath since ever been observed of all the inhabitants of Grammar. Also the Universities have approved it: The University of Paris observing the rest, craved then for her Students, that they might pronounce Nouns and Verbs at their pleasure, and that without any regard of the quantity of syllables. But because between the Relatives and Antecedents, between the Adiectives and the Substantives, between the word governing, and governed, between the determined, and also between perfect speech and imperfect was an old quarrel, striving whether of them were chiefe and greatest: It was also concluded to join them in unity, that the Relative of substance identitiall, should agree in Gender, Number, and Person, with his Antecedent.  
Item, That the adjective should obey to his Substantive in Case, Gender, and Number: and that the governed word should follow the governing: and that the Relative of the accident should only represent the Antecedent in such accident or property, in what manner the referred, and the referrent agreed by rule of diversity with the Anticedent: and that the speech imperfect should depend upon the perfect; and the specifying, of the specified, and between two Adiectives, two substantives, two Verbs of the Infinitive mode, two perfect speeches, and between two imperfects to be no bond of service. Furthermore the said William Lily would, that between sayings and doings might be made a peace and agreement: but the advice was, that if that discord were once taken away, the Barbor-surgeons and Taverne-keepers would have little to do: wherefore they left that thing even as they found it. All students of Ignorance, with these bussards of Barbary, Ignoramus and Dulman his Clerk, were by commandment exiled for ever out of all Grammar; and all false Latin was ever after confiscated to their use. The Barbarous were chased bayond the Alps into their Cities and Borrough-townes: But the Ignorant through the favour of some Princes, are bred not only in and thorough Italy, but also in Rome, the mother of good letters: and there whether she will or no, do they continue, among whom there are some being purveyed of fat prebend's are observed so dull-headed and doltish, that if ye ask them Amo quae pars? They will say, parlate Italiano chio ut intenda, so much in assery they surpass in ignorance the great Mules whereon they are so highly got up. Moreover there was given irrecoverable power to the deputed by the strong and firm counsel of them all to search out, to punish, and exile (as monsters of nature) all evill-favoured corrupters of Grammar, as half Latins, half greeks, and they to do all things that they thought to be profitable to the honour and advancement of all good letters. And to the end that they might the easier and more lightly execute their charge, there were commanded forthwith certain Rules to be drawn up, which were accordingly done; and now there is peace on both sides, every one knows his place, as you may more at large perceive by the Orders established; where I leave you: FAREWELL.   

A Lamentation upon the Conflagration of the Muse's Habitation: Or a Description of the burning of a Petty School.  

What heat of learning kindled your desire,  
You Muses sons to set your house on fire?  
What love of Honour in your breast did turn,  
Those sparks of Virtue into flames to burn?  
Or was't some higher cause, were the hot God's  
Phoebus and Vulcan, (old friends) now at odds?  
What ere the cause was, sure ill was th'intent:  
Which all the Muses justly may lament.  
But above all for name sake Polaehimney,  
bewails the downfall, of this learned Chimney.  
Where you might see, without or speech or sense:  
Lay the sad ashes, of an Accedence.  
What Numbers here of Nouns to wrack did go?  
●s Domus Liber, and a many more.  
●woefull Case, no Sex the flames did spare,  
Each Gender, in this loss had Common share,  
There might you see the rueful Declinations,  
●fifteene Pronouns and four Coniugations.  
Some Gerunds, Diego, but some Do over come,  
And some with heat & smoke, are quite struck Dum  
Supines, lay gasping upward, void of senses.  
The Moods were mad to see Imperfect Tenses.  
Aduerbes of Place, threw down their lofty stories:  
As Vbi, Ibi, Illic, Intus, Foris.  
Conjunctions, so disjoined, as you would wonder:  
No cupling scarce, but it was burnt asunder.  
The Praepositions, knew not where to be.  
Each Interjection, cried Heu woe is me.   

FOr the Due joining of the things again,  
A Neighbour called Qui mihi, came amain.  
Else sure the Fire, had into flames so turned:  
Gods, Men, Months, Rivers, Winds, and all had burnt  
Now 'gan the flames the Heteroclite to cumber:  
And poor Supellex, lost his Plural number.  
Of Verbs, scarce had escaped one of twenty:  
Haddit there not been by chance As in presenti.    
FINIS.