The Cooper of Norfolk: OR, A pretty jest of a Brewer, and the Cooper's wife: and how the Cooper served the Brewer in his kind.  
To the tune of The wiving age.  
 

ATtend my masters, and listen well  
Unto this my ditty, which briefly doth tell  
Of a fine merry jest which in Norfolk befell  
A brave lusty Cooper in that County did dwell,  
And there he cried work for a Cooper,  
Maids ha'y any work for a Cooper.   

This Cooper he had a fair creature to's wife  
Which a Brewer ith'towne loved as dear as his life,  
And she had a trick, which in some wives is rife,  
She still kept a sheath for another man's knife,  
And often conuted the Cooper,  
while he cried, more work for a Cooper.   

It happened one morning the Cooper out w●nt,  
To work for his living it was his intent,  
He trusted his house to his wife's government,  
And left her in bed to her own hearts content,  
while he cried, what work for a Cooper,  
Maids ha'y any work for a Cooper.   

And as the Cooper was passing a long,  
Still trying and calling his old wont song,  
The Brewer, his rival, both lusty and young,  
●id think now or never to do him same wrong,  
and lie with the wife of the Cooper,  
who better loved him then the Cooper,   

So calling the Cooper, he to him did say,  
Go home to my house, and make no delay,  
I have so much work as thou canst do to day,  
What ever thou earnest, ●le bountifully pay,  
these tidings well pleased the Cooper,  
oh this was brave news for the Cooper.   

Away went the Cooper to th' house of the Brewer,  
Who seeing him hard at his work to endure,  
Thought he, now for this day the Cooper is sure,  
I'll go to his wife the green sickness to cure,  
take heed of your forehead, good Cooper.  
for now I must work for the Cooper.   

So straight ways he went to the Cooper's dwelling,  
The good wife to give entertainment was willing:  
The Brewer & she like to Pigeons were billing,  
& what they did else they have bound me from telling  
he pleased the wife or the Cooper,  
who better loved him then the Cooper.   

But mark how it happened now at the last,  
Their sunshine of pleasures was soon overcast,  
The Cooper did lack one of's Tools, and in haste,  
He came home to fetch it, and found the door fast:  
Wife, open the door, quoth the Cooper,  
and let thy husband the Cooper.   

Now when the goodwife and the Brewer did hear,  
The Cooper at door, affrighted they were,  
The Brewer was in such a bodily fear,  
That for to hide himself, he knew not where,  
to shun the fierce rage of the Cooper,  
he thought he should die by the Cooper.   

The Good wife perceiving his woeful estate,  
She having a subtle and politic pate,  
She suddenly whelmed down a great brewing fat,  
And closely she covered the Brewer with that,  
then after she let in the Cooper,  
what's under this tub, quoth the Cooper,   

The second part,  
To the same tune.  

She hearing her husband that question demand,  
She thought it was time to her tackling to stand,  
Take heed how you move it, qd. she, with your hand,  
For there's a live Pig, was left by a friend,  
Oh let it alone good Cooper,  
thus she thought to cousin the Cooper.   

It is a Sow pig the Cooper did say,  
Let me ha'it to my supper: the Goodwife said nay.  
It is sir a Boar pig, quoth she, by my faith,  
'tis for mine own diet, 'twas given me to day.  
It is not for you john Cooper,  
Then let it alone john Cooper.   

I would it were in thy belly, quoth john,  
Indeed then quoth she so it shall be anon,  
What ere become of it, faith thou shalt have none,  
Why stand'st thou here prating, I prithee be gone,  
Make haste to thy work john Cooper,  
worse meat's good enough for a Cooper.   

Cannot a goodwife have a bit now and than,  
But there must be notice ta'en by the Good man,  
I'll ha'it to my dinner sir, do what you can,  
It may be I long to have all or none,  
Then prithee content thee good Cooper,  
Oh go to thy work john Cooper.   

The Cooper mistrusted some knavery to be,  
Hid under the brewing fat, and therefore he  
Was fully resolved for his mind's sake to see,  
Alas said the Brewer than woe be to me,  
Oh what shall I say to the Cooper,  
I would I were gone from the Cooper.   

You Whore quoth the Cooper, is this your boar pig?  
He has been well fed, for he's grown very big,  
I'll either of him have an arm or a leg,  
I'll make him unable his tail for to wrig.  
Before he gets hence from john Cooper,  
I'll make him remember the Cooper.   

Oh pardon me neighbour the Brèwer did say,  
And for the offence I have done thee this day,  
I am well contented, thy wrath to allay,  
And make restitution for this my foul play,  
Oh prithee forgive me john Cooper,  
And I'll be a friend to john Cooper.   

If for this offence thou wilt set me clear,  
My bounty and love to thee shall appear,  
I'll freely allow thee and thine all the y●●re,  
As much as you'll drink, either strong Als or ●●●re,  
Then prithee forgive me john Cooper,  
Accept of my proffer john Cooper.   

Oh, no, quoth the Cooper, I'll have thee to think,  
That I with my labour can buy myself drink,  
I'll geld thee, or lame thee, ere from me thou shrink,  
These words made the Brewer with fear for to stink,  
he feared the rage of the Cooper,  
yet still he entreated the Cooper.   

The Cooper by no means would let go his hold,  
The Brewer cried out to the Cooper and told  
Him, there was the key of his silver and gold,  
And gave him free leave to fetch what he would,  
oh then he contented the Cooper  
these tidings well pleased the Cooper.   

If thou quoth the Cooper, wilt swear with and oath,  
To do all thou tellest me, although I am loath,  
I will be contented to pardon you both:  
Content, quoth the Brewer, I will be my troth,  
Here take thou my key, john Cooper,  
yea, with a good will, quoth the Cooper.   

On this condition they both went their way,  
Both john and the Brewer, but john kept the key,  
Which opened the Coffer where more money lay,  
Then john the Cooper had made many a day:  
this is a brave sight thought the Cooper,  
I'll furnish myself thought the Cooper.   

john was so far in affection with that,  
That he took up handfuls and filled his hat,  
I will have my bargain quoth john, that is flat,  
The Brewer shall pay well for using my Fat;  
I'll cry no more work for a Cooper,  
farewell to the trade of a Cooper,   

Thus money can pacify the greatest strife,  
For john never after found fault with his Wife,  
He left off his Adz, his Saw and his knife,  
And after lived richly all days of his life,  
he cried no more work for a Cooper,  
oh he left off the trade of a Cooper.   

And in his mer●y mood, oft he would say,  
If that I had hooped twenty t●●● in one day,  
I should not have got so much wealth, by my say,  
Gramercy kind wife, for thy wit found the wa●,  
to make a rich man of john Cooper,  
oh what a good wife has john Cooper,   

Let no married couple that hear this tale told,  
Be of the opinion this couple did hold,  
To sell reputation for silver or gold,  
For credit and honesty should not be sold,  
Thus endeth the Song of the Cooper,  
That cried ha'y any work for a Cooper.    
FINIS.