THE LAST VISITATION: CONFLICTS and DEATH OF Mr. THOMAS PEACOCK, Batchellar of Divinity, and Fellow of Brasen-nose-Colledge In OXFORD.  
Published by E. B from the Copy of that famous Divine, Mr. Robert Bolton, late Minister of Broughton in North-hampton-shire.  
LONDON, Printed for William Miller at the guilded Acron, near the little North-door in St Paul's Churchyard. 1660.   

THE PREFACE TO the READER.  
Christian Reader,  
I Had not performed a trust, had not I published this ensuing Narrative; and I had not paid a debt which I do and shall ever owe to the Public, had not I made it common. Mr Bolton (a man of precious memory, and famous in his generation) desired me upon his deathbed, ●o publish such of his papers as I thought fit for the Press, which I have already done. This copy being found amongst them, (though penned by another hand) I durst not withhold, being to my knowledge intended by him for the press in memory of his familiar friend and spiritual father, Mr Thomas Peacock; who was a very Godly Minister of Christ, and of rare example for humility and holiness o● life; for a Religious care in educating his scholars, and for exceeding charity to the bodies and souls o● poor distressed Christians. An● yet this godly man, that for piet● had in him the root of an Oak, whe● God cast him upon his bed of sickness, and suffered Satan to winno 〈◊〉 him, he was no more in his hand then a leaf tossed too and fro wit 〈◊〉 the wind. God's deal wit 〈◊〉 him in these his last conflicts, ar● of singular use in these present times in which the ends of the world, an● the dregs of schism and sin an● come upon us at once.  
First, for caution to the true servants of God, to take heed of small sins; for from the lesser sins and infirmities of Mr Peacock, the Devil did thence take a rise to cast him into the most bitter spiritual desertion that we shall lightly read ●f: under which he had sunk, had not God wonderfully put to his hand, by making the issue of his afflictions more glorious and comfortable, ●hen the combat was grievous and terrible. It was a memorable saying of Francis Spira, which he spoke to his mournful children and friends, beholding that sad specta●le of his small despair, earnestly wishing them to take heed of committing the smallest sins against conscience; By this means, saith he, I fell into greater sins, till I ●ame to deny the Gospel of Christ, ●nd after that to renounce it in writing, and deliberately to subscribe to it with my hand, though (saith he) I hea●d a voice in my conscience telling me, Spira, do not subscribe it; after which I thought I heard the voice of Christ whom I denied before men, to pronounce the sentence of death upon my soul, and to exclude me from salvation. And thus he died.  
Secondly, for confutation of sundry sor●s in Religion, in these unhappy days of Civil war, as naturally producing them as mud and filth do toads and vermin. Some there are that quite abrogate the Law, which Christ came to fulfil, and so make the gate of Heaven wider than ever our Saviour made it, by admitting lawless persons into it. Holy Bradford was of another mind, who was wont to say, that the gate of Heaven was so straight, that he which halted could not enter into it; and the way 〈◊〉 narrow, that he which reeled ●●uld not walk in it. Others there ●re, who though they do not whol● destroy the law, yet they cast it 〈◊〉 to a dead sleep, thinking it unlawful in the children of God to be ●●rry, or to mourn for sin, con●●ary to the Doctoine of the primitive Fathers, teaching this lesson, ●emper doleat paenitens, & de ●olore gaudeat; Let the penitent ●erson always mourn, and rejoice 〈◊〉 that mourning; agreeing with ●●e rule of our Saviour, Blessed are ●hey that mourn, for they shall ●e comforted.  
Nay, I lately heard it not with●●t horror; that some men, in outward appearance of great sanctity, ●e hold an opinion, that it is a ●ult in godly men to pray for par●n of sin, (all sins being pardon●● in Christ before they pray) contrary to the prayer of our Saviour Forgive us our trespasses. Neither Mr Peacock, nor any of thos● godly Divines that came to comfort him, knew this kind of Doctrine neither we, nor the Churches of Go● till within these few late unhappy days.  
What will become of our reformed Religion, streaming down to 〈◊〉 in the blood of so many Martyr●● if God by a miracle of mercy shou●● not shorten these our miserab●● days? For whiles some are taking from us the Ten Commandments others, the Lords Prayer, there 〈◊〉 scarce any thing left us of Christ●●anity but our Creed, and how lo●● we shall enjoy this the Lord in Heaven knows. For so long as t●● civil sword of war devours 〈◊〉 much Protestants blood from without, and a worse civil war sin and separation, destroys many Protestant souls from within, ●e may justly fear that we shall ei●her want sound Orthodox Protestant's to maintain it; or we shall ●●ant a Creed for them to maintain.  
I shall, for conclusion, desire that Reader into whose hands this ensuing discourse shall fall, to observe ●hree things concerning M ● Peacock, a man whom I well knew, ●nd bless God that ever I knew ●im.  
1. That the forest and sharpest afflictions do very often befall the ●earest and choicest servants of God: I mean, not outward and temporal afflictions, common to good and ●ad: but inward and spiritual afflictions, and the heaviest of these spiritual desertions, whereby God withdraws his glorious countenance from his children: and Sa●an in lieu thereof, shows them his ugly visage, thereby convincing a● secure world. That it is no easy matter to go to Heaven, and tha● the safest and surest way to it, is to sail by the gates of Hell. If th● righteous can scarcely be save● (saith the Apostle) where shal● the wicked and sinner appear?  
2. That the deepest humiliation of God's children, do usually determine in the highest consolations And hereby the wicked, who like ravening wolves hunt after such opportunities, do miss of their prey and return ashamed when they consider what end God hath made. An● thus it fell out with Mr Peacoc● here.  
3. Lastly, Though a spiritual desertion be the highest affliction that befalls God's child; yet it discovers in him the greatest sincerity of an upright heart; For at such time he is so fare from hiding h●● sins, that he cares not what ●ame he puts upon himself, so God ●ay have glory. For in a spiritual desertion, though the soul of Christian be extremely distressed ●●rough the terror of sin; yet at ●he same time hath it a true touch 〈◊〉 grace, though not of the comforts ●f it: like iron touched with the ●oad-stone, it stands directly Northward, though with much tremb●ng: So doth the soul of a Christi●n stand directly Heaven-ward in ●his hellish agony: and the absence ●f God and of his consolations, is ●he cause of those bitter convulsion●its in the soul. And assoon as e●er the comforts of grace shine upon ●t, those former tremble of heart for grief, are presently changed in●o leapings for joy; just as the same sprinkles of the face, which serve for ●rying when the heart is grieved, ●erve for laughter when it is filled with joy. This was the case 〈◊〉 Mr Peacock, in this manner h● grieved, in this manner he rejoiced and this happy issue God made of h● bitter afflictions. So that amid● the numerous and various afflictions of Gods dear Saints and Children, this conclusion of the Prophet David remains sure and firm Mark the upright man, and be hold the just, for the end of tha● man is peace. So I rest,  
Thine in the Lord E. B   

Mr PEACOCKS Visitation.  
MAster Peacock, the servant of God, in the beginning of his visitation, for the space of two weeks and four days, was full of most Heavenly consolations; showing by sweet meditations, and gracious ejaculations, the entertainment he found with his God in his sickness, with whom he so much desired to be acquainted in his health. We are (saith one coming to visit him) miserable comforters. Nay (saith he) Ye are good, for this is the privilege even of God's children, that their very presence affords comfort. Sometimes h● craved pardon for his actions, & for the circumstances by them badly observed: otherwhile h● desired to have some matter given him to meditate upon. Finally he said, his hope was firmly settled on the rock Christ Jesus He hoped that the Lord woul● give him a place, though it wer● in the lowest room of his Saints And he thanked God he had n● trouble of conscience, the Lor● did not suffer Satan to vex him In so much that some seeing hi● great comfort, feared lest h● would be overtaken with sorrow before his death: he much rejoiced that the Lord had so disposed of him, that he had see● his friends in the Country. Her● first was his yielding unto deat● suspected, and his hoped recovery doubted. Calling some of ●is friends aside, I thought (saith ●e) I had been in a good estate, but 〈◊〉 see it now fare otherwise: For ●hese things my conscience lays against me: First, I brought up my scholar's in Gluttony, letting them eat ●heir fill of meat, when they mealed ●ith me. This some endeavoured ●o pull out, by putting into his mind, 1. The preventing of ma●y inconveniencies. 2. His well known moderation. 3. The great care he took for good conference, when they were at table with him. But (saith he) while I was talking, they did undo themselves. And further, I did unadvisedly expound places of Scripture at the table many times; and for these I feel now a Hell in my conscience. Again, I have procured my own death, by often eating like a beast, when I came justling up and dow● to my friends in the Country; An● now I see before my face those dis●es of meat wherewith I clogged m● stomach. Well (saith one to him If all the things you accuse you self of were undone, would yo● do them again? Nay: why the● doubt not but a Reprobate woul● desire to be saved, if a desire woul● serve the turn: indeed he ma●●● have a desire, but of bare willingness, not with an intent an● purpose in using of the means Another time a worthy friend o● his ask him how he did: h● cried out, Sin, Sin, Sin What doth any lie on your conscience? Yea. What? My unconsideratenes, I did eat too much of suc● meat to breakfast such a morning 〈◊〉 myself being an eye-witness o● his great abstinence, could no● choose but admire the tenderness ●f his self-accusing conscience. Well (said he) God be thanked ●here is no greater. As we must ●ot extenuate our sins, so nei●her must we too much aggravate our sin. Let drunkards ●nd gluttons have those terrible horrors. I thank God I never continued in any known sin against my conscience. He was willing that he should pray with him: kneeling down he said, he was ●hen uncapable of prayers. Afterward he kneeled down of his ●own accord: shortly after he ●roke out into such speeches, A damnable, wretched etc. these are nor your words (saith one) you cannot deny but you have had good experience of God's mercies. I cannot. Then be comforted, for whom he loveth once, he loveth to the end. Yet Satan took such advantage of his infirmities, that though he could find some comfort, yet no particular assurance. You have lived profitably (said one) I have endeavoured. You are now humbled, and the Lord looks that you should ask mercy. M. Dod was sent for, who being come, they were private awhile, afterwards we coming in to them, M. Dod put him in mind of God's kindness: whereof he shown to him four parts. 1. To take small things in good part. 2. To pass by infirmities. 3. To be easily entreated. 4. To be entreated for the greatest.  
Sir, there is now in you the image of the old Adam, sin and sorrow: there shall be in you the image of the new, holiness and happiness. The life to come may be set out by three things. 1. The estate of itself, happiness, holiness, and glory. 2. By the 〈◊〉 company, every one shall ●●e you better than any one, e●●n the best, can love you here.  
The place.  
There are three differences between the afflictions of the good ●●d of the bad. 1. In the cause, ●r they come to the good for ●ods love. 2. In the measure, 〈◊〉 fare as they need, and are a●●●e to bear. 3. In the end, for ●●eir good.  
Of those former doubts we ●●terwards heard not a word ●●om him. Upon the Sabbath●●y he desired to be alone: after ●●on he was fearfully troubled. 〈◊〉 his countenance appeared evident tokens of a sorrowful ●inde, born up with a weak ●ody; his spirit was wounded, ●●tan had foiled him. Those his ●●rrible wrestle with tentations, gripes of conscience, a●● restless terrors, none can understand, (much less express but he which felt them. S●tan had winnowed him, an● shown him nothing but chaffy His tender conscience w● gored with the fiery dar● of the Devil, pointed wit● the edge of sin, an● sense of God's heavy wra●● As through a false glass, th● dazzled eye of his astonished and amazed soul, coul● see nothing but hideously appearing sin, and th● terrible image of death an● damnation. He had drunk deeply of the cup of th● dregs of Hell. His adversary had represented unto him his once most gracious God, now as a mos● severe Judge displeased, angry, and chiding with ●im; yea yielding him up ●nto his claws: that so by ●his deadly stratagem, he ●ight take from him all ●ope of help that way, and ●o not only stop the sensible flowing of God's grace; ●nd cut the chains of God's ●ove, whereby he had tied ●im, and would draw him ●fter him, but finally break ●is Christian heart. Oh ●hat you had seen, or that we that were present had had eyes to have seen his ●eeming forlone soul. What with barkings of conscience, and with the too heavy burden of sin, waves of fearful thoughts, ●lustering blasts, and surging storms of Gods heavy displeasure, he was tossed, turmoiled, dashed aga●● the rocks of despair, and m●● then in danger of his souls s●● wrack: happy were we if ●●ther through forwardness, 〈◊〉 blindness of judgement, we inconsiderately pass by, or profanely deride God's judgements, by thinking that they ●ther happen casually, or by forgetting of them suddenly. 〈◊〉 we could but rightly discern 〈◊〉 we should find nothing m●● profitable, then to have the ●mage of this gracious (thou●● now afflicted) soul in our hear● Hereby we may see that t● righteous being scarcely save● there is no place for the wicked a●● ungodly to appear. And tru● we may think that God sent it ●●ven for our sake, that we (w●● whom it is too usual to da● with the Lord) might kno●● that it is a fearful thing to fall in●o his hands. Our faith is then wried in earnest, when as the Lord hideth his face from us. For if we love God above all ●hings, it cannot be but upon the ●osse of the relish of his favour, ●r taste of his displeasure, our ●ouls should be in bitterness, pricked, tormented, wounded, thrust thorough, yea, and swallowed up with desolation. It is a wonder of the world, how we carefully will seek physic, use diet, by any means to avoid a bodily pang, and how careless we ●re of the unsupportable fits of ●he souls mortal sickness. It is ●ot in our power to apprehend ●race when we will, and a harder matter is it then we can conceive, to lift up a poor soul cast ●●wn with the sense of God's wrath. If a violent passion may so fare transport the min●● what may we think of this re●les trembling, when the s● after long toss, seethe it 〈◊〉 drowned, and wholly overwhelmed with the deluge 〈◊〉 sorrow, proceeding from the ●verlasting threats, and sha●● and confusion of face in 〈◊〉 presence of the Almighty Consider the body loaden f●● a burden, neither portable 〈◊〉 evitable; and thence gather 〈◊〉 stranglings of an overladen so Consider a man ready to 〈◊〉 from an high Tower unto 〈◊〉 Earth; and thence gather 〈◊〉 estate of another falling fr●● Heaven to Hell with a spiritu●● ruin. Consider a child, wh●● the mother hideth her face fr●● it, and terrifieth it with a Bilbo; and herein take view of 〈◊〉 estate of a poor Christian (wh● chiefest happiness having therein consisted, (to wit) in being joyn●d, and united to his Heavenly ●ather, having now lost his pre●ence, or being affrighted with ●he Devil, as if he were ready to ●●y hands on him. Consider ●he estate of a debtor, cast off by ●is best Creditors: and gather ●hat of a Christian being bankrupt with his God. Consider ●he estate of a man, once in favour, afterwards adjudged to ●eath by a Prince, without hope ●f pardon or repriving: and gather that of a Christian, who ●fter his citation and arraignment at the Tribunal seat of God, ●ands condemned, and is whol●● deprived of obtaining pardon, ●nd delivered into the hands of ●he Devil. The Lord needs ●ot to seek wild beasts to punish ●s, or such like cruel executioners of his wrath to torment u● he may find enough within us all the furies and Devils cann●● invent a more grievous torment One by it apprehended needs not more accusers or torment ours. His many never-though● of sin (as if he stirred a nest 〈◊〉 wasps) come buzzing about h● ears, and as a man indebted once laid hold of, make him faster daily: his loving friends ma● stand by the prison and call him but he being fast fettered, canno● stir forth. You shall see hi● now in his purgatory, (not th● papistical sinne-satisfying fiction, the Pope's jail) but that h●● fiery furnace wherein the Lo●● trieth his metal, whether it 〈◊〉 good or reprobate. And suppose that he had died at t●● worst (as in the Lord's justice 〈◊〉 might, to the hardening of tho●● that will not be softened) As no man should rather judge him by ●he inch of his death, than the length of his life; so I for my part neither did in him, nor do ●n myself so much fear his death, as I did, and do desire his life. You may observe the ●ourses which God taketh in visiting his children to be divers: some are comfortable and without any great admixture of discomfort: others heavy, but without horror: others horrible, ●et all of them are in the issue gracious. But to leave any further digression, and to come again to the matter in hand.  
When one came unto him, he ●rake out into these words, Oh ●ow woeful and miserable is my estate, that thus must converse with hellhounds! He being with these words strangely moved, went to call some of his best ab●● friends to comfort him. T● them he complained, that t● Lord had cursed him. Being demanded how he knew it: he answered, Why! the event showeth it. It being replied, The● such and such were cursed: h● answered, I have no grace. Ho● do those then? they once ha● none. I was a foolish glorious Hypocrite; It is against the course 〈◊〉 Gods proceeding to save me, 〈◊〉 hath otherwise decreed, he canno● Put your trust in God. I canno● no more than an horse. Do yo● desire to believe? No more the● a post, than an horsshoe. I kno● you cannot deny but that yo● have sought God's glory. N●● sincerely. There is a secret mi●ture of pride and hypocrisy, ●ven in the best. I have no mo● sense of grace then these curtain ●●en a goose, than that block. Let ●he testimony of your life past comfort you, especially in the ●●lling of a Tutor. I did the ●●sinesse thereof perfunctorily, when 〈◊〉 handled hard Authors, I came ●ten unprepared, and read shamefully. Be of good courage, and ●●e Lord will comfort your ●eart. It is ended, there is no ●●ch matter. Why do you think ●o? You shall see the event, God ●ill yet bring it to pass. Tush, ●●sh, trifles. What do you think ●f your former Doctrine? Very ●ood. Let it comfort you. It ●●nnot. You desire it could. If 〈◊〉 might. There is nothing impossible to God. Which stands with ●is decree: Oh, oh, miserable, and woeful, the burden of my sin ly●●th heavy upon me: I doubt it will ●reak my heart. Behold your comforts. Nothing to me, I pray you hold your peace, do not trou●● yourself idly, you vex me, y● words are as daggers to my hea● Another time some of t●● younger sort said to him, Remember, Sir, the good counse●● that you have given us heretofore. Those were ordinary. Y●● may see many others in the li●● estate. Not such as mine. S●● David. What do you speak to 〈◊〉 of David? Good Sir, endeavour to settle your mind; Yes, to pl●● with hellhounds. Will you pray I cannot. You were wont heretofore. Yes, by a custom and va● glory. Suffer us to pray for yo● Take not the name of God in va●● by praying for a Reprobate. He you may see the glory of G●● preferred before his own salvation, rather willing to have t●● means of his salvation neglecte● then the Lord dishonoured. Su●●er us to pray for ourselves. ●ook to it, you would now show your faculty in praying. Can you say, Amen? No, but in a certain ge●●all fashion. One prayed, and ●n the mean time he rested most quietly. I pray you (saith he, ●hen prayer was ended) Go ●ence to bed, do not trouble your ●lves in vain. Let not the Devil delude you, abusing your mind ●nd tongue, I know you speak ●ot these words. I wonder that intelligent Scholars should speak ●hus. We are persuaded you ●re in as good estate as ourselves Look how it is with yourselves in ●ruth. One that watched with him, asked him, Sir, how can you discern this change by the absence's of God, if you never enjoyed his presence? I thought I ●ad it once, but now I see it is fare otherwise. But God deals with you, as he dealt with the Church Isa. 54.7. He forsook it a whil● and hid his face from it, but I returned to it again, and so (〈◊〉 doubt) the case stands with yo● Never, add not affliction to the afflicted; Oh me wretch! groaning pitifully. Hope no worse 〈◊〉 yourself, than we do of yo● All of us have seen clearly whi●● way your carriage was still sen● after the spirit: and we are assured that you will come to t●● spirit, howsoever you seem t● have lost your way. To a● particulars he would answer, desire grace generally, I did go●● outwardly, all hypocritically. O● asked him, Do you love such a one? his most dear, and worthy to be dear friend. Yes. Why For his goodness. Why then you a God's child, for by this w● know we are translated fro● death to life, because we own ●e brethren. Many like forcible ●oofs he would shift off with is former evasions, and afterwards became more wary against himself, either loath to ●rant any thing, or granting it ●aggeringly, or, what then? ●●aring jest he should be pressed, he wished, that some were ●ut in mind, 1. Of their great care ●or building, and too small care for scholar's in them. 2. Their giving so long leave of absence from ●he College, and desired amendment.  
After noon came a worthy Governor of a College in our University, 
Dr Aye● Provost of Queen's College.  and requested him ●o be of good comfort, and to pluck up his spirit. I cannot. Why can you not? Because I have ●o grace, no more than a Backstock. Why do you think so? By this affliction. Do you des● grace? I cannot. (He spoke m● strongly) I can as well leap ov● the Church. But are you 〈◊〉 sorry that you cannot desire it I cannot. Would you not be Heaven? I would not. O● standing by, said, The De● himself would, if he could. B● the way, you shall have the opinion of a much respected Minister apposite heret● which he gave in private. 〈◊〉 proud man, saith he, w●● scorn to seek any good fro● his enemy: so the Devil's pri●● will not let him think himse● beholding to God for Heaven if he might get it. You hav● (said one) the testimony of faith you love the Brethren. I di● not. Do not you love us? No 
* This conclusion was fastened on him before, which now he stufts off.  The Devil now seethe he shoul● be cast into straits, if yo● ●ould grant this; what is it that ●oth most trouble you? I un●rtook too much upon me foolishly: had gotten a little Logic and ●reek, and meanly instructed in ●e rules, did set myself to read to scholars; and afterwards under●ok other business, which distracted ●y mind and body from them, I ●ave destroyed a thousand souls. ●ou may see the falsehood of ●m that suggesteth this unto ●ou: you never had a thousand: ●e puts a false glass before you. ●he good effects of your pains appears in many of your Scho●rs. Oh they were of themselves ●apable. Name one in whom ●hey do not? There is one. (pointing at a Master of Arts there pre●nt) He justified his care of ●im, and gave thanks to God ●hat ever he came to him. It is ●ot so, I did foolishly. You confess you did foolishly, therefore not of malice. Again, consider wh● would have become of many them if you had not taken the● Better, fare better. All in the C●ledge know the contrary. Bu● feel it. It is false, believe n● the Devil. It is too true. Wh● will you make amends? G● will give you your hearts desire Never. Are you sorry that 〈◊〉 will not? No, there is no grace my heart: it is dead. Such w● David's case. What do you compare me with him? Behold Chri● himself. Nothing to me. Go● can make his death availabl● He cannot. He is omnipotent In me he cannot, because 〈◊〉 stands with his purpose. Who● God loveth once, he loveth t● the end. But he did never love m● You have tasted of his love. 〈◊〉 deceived myself in a certain vain ●lory: I exposed my head to many ●hings, outwardly all. You could ●ay the Lords Prayer, and there● call him Father. Hypocritically I was wont to inquire of Ma●ter Mason, what was meant by ●bba-father; rather in curiosity, ●hen truly to be edified. God will ●ive a good issue. Never, I ●ave no sense. We will pray ●ith you. Do not dishonour ●od. It is well that you will ●ot have God dishonoured: ●ere he sticked, saying, I pray ●ouble me not with distinctions. ●fter came one, who with ve●ement action of body, pressed and urged him to trust in ●od. I cannot (said he) I can●●t, he will not have me saved, ●s sentence is passed. Do ●ou desire to be saved? ●o. Do you desire to desire? ●o. Would you be damned? No. Look at the sins of ot●● men as great as yours, and 〈◊〉 they are saved. They were good a godly, they found grace: here is 〈◊〉 difference, my sins are horribl● he repeated that towards 〈◊〉 Scholars. All of us know y●● took pains. Outwardly y●● did your best. No. I see no● what it is, you strictly look ba● to your own actions, as a Judiciary, who will none of Go● mercy, and now he hath jus● met with you, your judgem●● is just. These words affect him strangely: another wil● him to look to it, it seemed n● Popery. Do you hope to 〈◊〉 justified by your merits? I f●● to be damned for my sins. T● other asked, whether he cou●● say, Amen? No. Have y●● no tongue? What is that to 〈◊〉 purpose? Name Jesus, I can● 〈◊〉 I had your tongue in my hand, 〈◊〉 would make you speak. Turning his speech to a friend present, ●●h (saith he) if you did but feel my ●●eif but an hour, you would have compassion. The other reply●d, If you were in the fire you ●ould wish to get out. I had ra●●er be in the fire then here. I will ●ay for you. Sin not. Let ●e fault be mine.  
Although my purpose was freely to relate the passages of ●is gracious man's visitation, and 〈◊〉 refer to your spiritual eye ●hat you could track and find ●erein, yet let your gentle conduction withhold from me the 〈◊〉 served censure of bold blindness, in that now and then I point 〈◊〉 some things which your ●ick sight may sooner or bet●● apprehend. The Devils ma●ious policy was great toward him, in that he assaulted h● most strongly in that, whi● might and ought to have be● his greatest comfort. Again, saw that the opinion of the Physician helps somewhat in bod● maladies or diseases, whereas 〈◊〉 that his estate, his soul remained as it were uncapable of co●fort from the souls Physician He much respected some fe●● He dolefully poured out his so in the bosom of a well will on this manner; I took upon 〈◊〉 too proudly many things, and be●● negligent, performed nothing: cased be the day when I took Schol● If I had not taken them, I had b●● happy; with a great flourish I w● stirring many ways, and in 〈◊〉 mean space left the essence of 〈◊〉 calling, teaching Scholars. Wh●● saith the other, what shall I n● do, when I see you thus tosse● W●ll, for I was an Hypocrite, and ●●w therefore there is no hope of ●mfort for me in God's presence: have no sense of it. The sun 〈◊〉 in the firmament, though it ●ay be hid in a cloud. This ●mparison agreeth not to me. What ●●en would you counsel me to ●e? Abide within the bounds of ●ur calling: take not too much on ●u, and the Lord will bless you. ●ill it avail me to hear sermons. ●es, if you mean to be saved. What ●ood shall I reap thence? No●ing from the bare hearing. oh, ●is heavy lumpish fear hath ofttimes shaken me, and now it hath ●oken out. Another said, you ●ow the poor in spirit are bles●d. I am not such. You see you ●e empty of all good, you feel ●ur burden. I pray you go your ●ayes. He turned his head aside, ●d stopped his ears: what though you have done but lit● good, if you have but give● cup of cold water, etc. He thr●ed him away with his foot, ●ther (as some thought) be● troubled with his shrill voi● or (as he replied) through 〈◊〉 Devils subtlety. T●at even he was grievously afflicted Suddenly he broke out; Oh if Go● The standers by endeavoured cherish this good motion, and s● to him, He will give you gra●● I doubt it. Then presently ●ter he uttered this prayer, God, give me a spark of grace, 〈◊〉 enlarge my heart that it may apprehended it. He asked a friend, h● he might give satisfaction 〈◊〉 some speeches.  
Mr Dod, although he depa●ed on Saturday, and had th● an unseasonable journey, 〈◊〉 being requested by letters, urned on Tuesday following. ●e at the first sight started up, as desirous to meet him, Oh Mr Dod, ●d in friendly sort complained, have no grace. I will not (saith ● ʳ Dod) believe every one that ●ith he hath grace, nor every ●he that saith he hath none: Answer the Devil as Christ did. A ●an must not always be led by ●nse; Let us inquire by the effects, and it may suffice, if we can ●●nde but one, yea the least it is ●ough. You forgive your enemy's, and love them, and ●ould do them no hurt if you buld? Yes. Then your sins ●e forgiven. An Hypocrite ●ay give alms and fast, but this ●e cannot. That is a small matter. think it to be a great one, yea, ●●ch an one that I had need to ●ay for; That is put for a rea●●n in the Lord's Prayer, and if Christ had thought any mo● forcible, he would have giv● it. Sir, that is true, but in th● that are elected. Do not y● put an exception, where G● hath not. I would not hand you as I do, but that I kno● your estate: I come hither cherish you, you love your go● friends? I cannot. Had you r●ther that bad or good men shou● be with you? Good. Yet y● say, you do not love them: 〈◊〉 sow will be with swine: There 〈◊〉 no fellowship between light a● darkness. Would you belie● yourself, or the Physician touching the estate of your body? T● Physician. Believe not your s● then, now you are sick, yet sh●● be restored. It is impossible. Wh● so? If you had sinned so mu● as you could, you could n● have sinned so much as Ada● yet he is in Heaven. It repent ●m. Doth it not you? No. Doth ●our sickness or sin more trou●●e you, or had you rather ●●ve grace, or health? Grace. Well then. But it cannot be. ●od will wash you. I have 〈◊〉 water. God will bring it ●ith him. He hath denied it. ●e hath offered it by his Mi●●sters, which are as the buc●ets to draw and pour it. ●ou must not look now that ●od should come to y●● himself. Do you think it a small avour of God that so many ●ood friends come to you? ●od did send none to comfort ●ain or Ahithophel. Think of that ●●ying of Manoahs' wife, If the ●ord would kill us, he would not ●ave shown us all these things, hedge. 13.23. Behold the properties of Christ's sheep: They are 1. Weak, 2. Sick, 3. Brok●● 4. Driven away, 5. Lost, EZ●● 34.4. You are such, see therefore your comfort, he 〈◊〉 1. strengthen, 2. heal, 3. bind 〈◊〉 4. bring again, and 5. seek y●● You find yourself a great de●tor: the Lord hath pardone● only he looks that you sho●● come to him for an acquittance This fight is not yours, but 〈◊〉 Lords, 2 Chron. 20.20. put y●● trust in him. If you ask me, h● may I? it followeth, Believe 〈◊〉 Prophets, and you shall prosp●● You may remember that Ch●● did pray for Peter, that his fa●● might not fail, but it failed ●●terwards. How came that 〈◊〉 pass? That failing did rath●● strengthen it. For whereas he g●ried that if all should deny Chri● yet he would not: had he be●● asked, Dost thou promise t●● 〈◊〉 thi●e own strength, or by 〈◊〉 he must have answered, ●ine, f●●●therwise he would ●ve requested his help, making ●m hereby to seek to Christ for ●e strengthening of his faith. ●his happeneth to you, because ●●u credit the suggestion of arnall reason, and not the word ●ther. Oh the cunning of ●e adversary! deal not with ●m by cunning, but hold him to ●e Word, seek for strength in ●od to resist him. You may ●e the Apostles in the tempest, 〈◊〉 was from their weakness that ●●ey disinherited, yet of God that ●ey prayed. I cannot pray. Here ●hat St James saith, Is any man ●ck, etc. afflictions further pray●●, but most sicknesses hinder: ●herefore behold your friends, ●hose minds as the Lord hath birred up to pray for you: so will he also stir up himself to he●● them. Their prayers are your● yea, you have the prayers of m●ny which never knew you. A●● as God said to Cain, sin lieth at the door, ready as it were 〈◊〉 do him an ill turn: so his pr●mised blessing doth as it we● expect you. If your salvation were now in your own hand● it is likely you would yield u● all: but your name is written i● the heart of Christ. Sir, let m● watch with you this night. N● Why? because it would hu● you. He (fearing the conclus●on) said, Here is a snatching argument: nay rather, I will not su●fer you, because you would trouble m● In the morning M. Dod came ●gain to him, and ask hi● how he did, he answered, wretchedly, lamentably, abominably not stamp of grace in me. Do yo● desire to be eased? Infinitely. Oh if God would give me a drop: I was so foolish that I would always be doing something, but did nothing well. I pray you tell me what was the calling of the good thief upon the cross? Do not you think that God can put a distinction between his grace and our corruptions? Behold the Church sometimes helpless and hopeless, and Jonah in that his bed, God seethe you, though you see not him. But I feel horror. Where misery is, there is grace much more: Then especially appeareth the excellency of the Physician, when health is least hoped. The Devil doth abuse your mind and tongue against yourself: but doubt not, the Lord will cast down the strong holds of carnal reason. Only do not suppress that grace of God, which although it appeareth but small as big as a man's hand, ye● it shall be increased into a● mighty rain, by which your dry soul shall be moistened. Chris● rising again, did first appea● to Mary Magdalen that sinners after commanded her to tel● it first to Peter, which ha● denied him. See thence hi● mercy. The godly in thei● afflictions do but forget thei● comforts; God helps thei● memory, helps all. Th● godly losing his sense o● God's favour, is like to 〈◊〉 man that hath lost his purse● which if he could find, h● were rich enough. But th● wicked cannot be brought t● remembrance, because they never knew it. Thus he suffered him to rest a while, afterwards returning with others, prayed. Then he was asked, how he did. Miserably. Do not you search into the secrets of God. It is too true and manifest. Sir, do not always be digging in at your sins. A wound continually rubbed cannot be cured. Suffer the plasters of the Word of God to rest upon it, that it may be helped. Oh, if I had! Oh, if it would please God I had rather than any thing in this or other three thousand worlds. Who now giveth this desire unto you? Of ourselves we cannot think a good thought: God giveth both the will and the deed. A desire is a sure token. But I cannot truly desire. You do not desire falsely, therefore: truly what do you dissemble? Here is a trick. You must needs distinguish between unperfect desire and hypocritical. Will you know whether your desire be true? There are two signs thereof▪ Constancy, and a conscionable using of the means: You have found these in you, doth this argument hold? You do not feel, therefore you have it not? I know when you would have denied such an argument: If that did follow, it should far well with the Reprobate, he hath no sens● of the wrath of God, therefore he is not under it. Elizabeth said, Whence is it tha● the mother of the Lord shoul● come unto me? surely from their Christian heart. Truly I could hardly have come to you, but that I thought I was bound in conscience, because I know you to be the servant of the Lord: When you were well, if we should have come with proofs out of the Word of the Lord, you would have believed us. Yes. Why not now when your ●udgement is blinded? Oh, the ●udgement of God Call it as ●e calleth it, Corrections. Oh, ●ny insensible heart! Oh, dead! A dead man cannot perceive himself dead, and God quickeneth the dead. Oh, if he would ●nlarge my heart! This desire ●s good; But it is without sa●our. God in mercy will ●eild you a comfortable relish: Consider I pray you; ●hereas man may object, The Lord is strong and terrible. It followeth, Merciful withal. But I am backward in seeking it. He is gracious, more forward than thou canst be backward: but I have provoked. Him; he is slow to anger: but my sins are great but he is abundant in goodness and in truth. The Lord hath promised that he on hi● part will be our God, an● we on our part shall be his people. For a while he commended him to God: shortly after returning, he prayed with him Cast your burden upon God He hath rejected me. Who mad● you his counsellor? Secre● things belong unto God, bu● revealed things unto us: wil● you make Almanacs? He dot● manifest it: Oh mine abominabl● bringing up of youth! he witha● groaned most deeply. If you had done as well as the justest man, you should stand in need of the merits of Christ. I, or another may bring arguments, but it belongs to the Lord to fasten them on the heart. I say to you as Noah did to Japhet, God persuade Japhet, etc. What if your sins were as crimson, God can make them as snow. That is true of those that are capable. Behold, we make your estate our own, we have part in your sorrow: who hath thus (think you) disposed our hearts? God. And do you think that he which causeth us to love you, doth not love you himself? I fear I did too much glory in matters of private service to God. The nearer we come to God, the more we see our own vileness. This is the use which I make of it, blessed be God which hath not put our estate in our own hands, but kept it in his. The Devil hath now winnowed you and you think all is gone out, bu● God holdeth what is his. A●● Artificer can distinguish drossy from the metal, cannot God his from yours? Well, with Jo● lay your hand on your mouth and hold your peace, and so goo● rest have you: Only consider your comfort, though it be bu● small, whence it came, even from God's Word and servants, no otherwise.  

M. Dod.  When he returned again t● take and give farewell, he began to complain: Oh, great an● grievous! The Lord knoweth what power he hath given you A father will put a greater bu● then upon a stronger son. Bu● see the difference. When a earthly father or master setteth his on work, they must do it with their own strength; but the Lord setteth on work, and giveth strength to be not discouraged. You are now in your calling: Oh, mine heart is miserable! What then? A father loveth his son as well when he is sleeping, as when he is waking. Sir, I have known you heretofore, and although, if I were in your case, I might do as you do, yet I remain the servant of God, as you certainly are. The Holy Ghost calls to your remembrance what you have heretofore taught, and now heard: And although I shall be absent in body, yet shall I be present in mind. Be not too covetous to seek abundance by and by. If Jacob could say to Esau, I have seen thy face, as though I had seen the face of God, much more should you think so of the children of God that come to you. I thank God (saith he) he hath begun to ease me. He will in his good time. God grant. Thus he took his last farewell. Although we depart from our friends in the way, yet we shall meet at the end. One told Master Dod that he had uttered such words. Now the Lord hath made me a spectacle. Whereupon he counselled one that attended on him, to be sparing in admitting comers in, or speakers, lest his brain should be too much heated. A friend of his coming to him, asked him, Dare you murmur and repine against God? Why should I so? God be blessed. It is a sign of grace. But I have no means. You have had them offered. But not given with effect. They shall, I doubt not. God grant: but I do not feel it.  
He received a letter from a friend very respective, 
M. Bolton.  and much respected of them both: wherein were written these very words: I heard, I know not how true, that our dear Christian friend Mr Peacock is in great danger: which hath much grieved and afflicted my heart, and wrung from me very bitter tears. If his extremities be such, his tentations are very like to be sore. Tell him from me (as one who did ever, with dearest intimatenes know and converse with him) that I can assure him in the word of life and truth, from a most just and holy God, whose Minister I am, That he is undoubtedly one of his Saints, designed for immortality, and those endless joys in another world. When it was read to him; at those words I can assure him, etc. (he said) Oh, take heed, take heed, do you think he would or durst assure you, unless he knew on what grounds? I did deceive myself, now God hath revealed more. Another time one requested him, that he would make his friends partakers of the least comfort that the Lord bestowed upon him, as they had been partakers of his grief. If I had it, I would willingly communicate it. Search and take notice of the least. How should I have any, since God denyeth the means? do you think sense is a fruit of faith? Yes, at this season, although the husbandman hath sown much, yet he seethe nothing above ground. Applications do not prove, hold your peace, my heart is broken. Then the promise is yours. I would gladly ask you one thing, Now you will ask twenty. Do you seek for grace in your heart? I cannot. How then can you know whether it be there or no? It is dead. The Lord in whose hand the disposing thereof is, dispose it for your good and his glory. I thank you. What do you think of that place, Whose sins you remit, they are remitted, etc. You know how fare they may go. Howsoever, Sir, the bargain is not now to be made between God and you. Shortly after came one whom he much esteemed. Oh I love (said he) your company, for the graces in you, and much more to the same purpose. Suddenly he broke out into this ejaculation, Oh God, reconcile me unto thee, that I may taste one dram of thy grace, by which my miserable soul may receive comfort. One secretly willed that man to desire him to repeat it again. Do not trouble me with repetitions. There being a sermon, he bade them about him go thither. After he called one, and asked him whether the preacher (being acquainted with his course of preaching) did use his accustomed divisions. He told one, Satan had borne him in hand, and had deluded him: to whom the other answered, I hope that God will restore you as before, to glorify him here. No. No. Yea, if you were weaker, I would hope notwithstanding. I desire nothing more. God be thanked, you have laboured carefully for his glory. I would labour after another fashion. In the night he prayed and repeated his belief. And after resting a while, he called those that watched with him, Bear witness, I said not, I believe, but in general, and as desiring that I might believe. One coming to visit him, asked him, How is it with you? My mind was grievously puZZled with sundry distractions this night, but now I feel my burden more light, I thank God. He was put in mind of that place, Isa. 54.8, 11, 12, etc. Oh thou afflicted and tossed with tempests, and not comforted; behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colours, and thy foundations with Sapphires; And I will make thy windows of Agates, and thy gates of Carbuncles: and all thy borders of pleasant stones, etc. For a little while I hide myself from thee, but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee. He lifted up his eyes: thereupon being asked what the Lord did say to his soul, that had long refused comfort? Take heed, be not to● bold, look to the foundation. And then prayed. Lord grant m● the comfort of thy deliverance, and forgive me my foolishness, that I may praise thy name. Then he complained of his idle speeches. Upon the Sabbath day one came to him, willing him to put his hand to a note of certain debts. This is not a day for that. We will go to Sermon. God spee● you. Now you cannot go to Church to serve the Lord, I pray him to come to you. Amen. He hardly suffered any to stay with him. At evening one did read something to him in Master Downams' warfare, and asked him, do you think it to be true? Yes. Therefore you must not trust your sense: What not such as mine are? But I will not now dispute. When they were helping him up and putting on his ; upon some occasion one said to him to this effect: A child will not much grieve at the laying aside of an old coat, when he hath anew made, When you shall put on that, there shall be no longer nakedness, the resurrection will amend all. To those that die in the Lord. No doubt you will die in him, having lived in him. I have answered you before. But I would not believe you in that case. The next day a friend of his being to go forth of town, asked him, whether he would have any thing with him, for he was to leave him, and knew not whether ever he should see him again here. Look to your calling, that it be as well inward as outward. He counselled another; To be stirring for the glory of God. To one standing by, he said. 〈◊〉 am thinking. What? On a for● to get grace. Put your trust in God. So I do. I omit how, and tell you that with great patience▪ he continually submitted himself to advise in any means fo● his good: In putting his temporal estate in order; he deal● mercifully with his poorest debtors, yea, with some which might well pay it. His worthy patro● (for so he often called him) whom for honour's sake I name, Sir Robert Harley, sent his man to him with some aurum potabile, together with a book which a Doctor had made in the praise thereof. Coming to him, and ask him how he did, Oh (said he) if it would please God that I might live with him. Anon after he ●aid to one, I have been thinking of arguments by which I might plead my cause with God, and I ●ave found: But what if dying thus, 〈◊〉 should be judged an Apostata? Man is not the Judge at whose Tribunal you must stand or fall. There came in many of our chief Fellows. One of them requested him to make confession of his ●aith willingly. But I would ●hink of it first. Musing awhile, ●e called them. Truly my heart ●nd soul have been fare lead, and deeply troubled with tentations and stings of conscience: but I thank God they are eased in good measure: Wherefore I desire that I be not branded with the note of a forlorn or Reprobate: Such questions, oppositions, and all tending thereto, I renounce: Now help me, and put me in mind. What do you think of your former doctrine? Most true: In it I have lived, and will die; I have not dealt hypocritically in it. Are you willing to die? Truly I will tell you: my Patron who of late sent me potable gold, hath taken order that I might live with him contentedly in the Ministry: but I submit myself to the will of God. Do you desire the glory of God, and the salvation of your brethren? Most: Help my memory, what more? Do you forgive all wrongs? Yes, and desire that mine may be: And now I thank you. Sir, I remember a thing wantonly done towards you, pointing at one present. You sent me a knife for a new-years-gift; and I tied two verses to it, and sent it back: I pray pardon me if any thing— For mine unconsiderate speeches in the time of my tentations, I hearty and humbly ask forgiveness. You did then (saith one) seem to rely somewhat upon inherent righteousness, as if you sought in yourself whereby you should be saved: Indeed we knew your conversation to be unreprovable: No I dare not affirm it: I trust in nothing but in the name of Jesus. Have you any certainty in him? I would not be pressed to a particular assurance in this grievous agony. We desire you to inform them that shall come unto you of your estate. My unability is great: They than prayed, 1. Giving God thanks, that whereas before they had craved his mercy for his servant, he had heard them, and manifested to his glory, how he never forsaketh his: And besought him, because he knew the malice of the enemy, to perfect his good work, and not suffer him to be tempted above his strength. Now, Sir, we tell yo● one thing to your comfort, W● never heard you speak any thing against God or man, thorough out the time of your visitations but wholly against yourself I have been bold thus to argue wit● God, If he hath showed mercy t● such and such, why should not 〈◊〉 likewise have hope? He complained once, how, while h● was visiting the sick, (In whic● work many poor souls foun● the ready mercifulness of hi● heart, and now feel a great want) he lighted upon doubts; which that he might more fully satisfy, when the like might be moved, he studied too earnestly. One brought him a note book which he had lent (Always willing to communicate what he had most private) Here is a book (said he) of great pains, etc. To a stranger, a worthy gentleman that came to visit him, he said, The Lord is merciful to me, and I have cause of rejoicing, etc. Afterwards a reverend Governor came to him, 
Dr A●ery.  to whom he complained of his sin and misery. You look not (said he) for any thing in yourself. No, for nothing. You would amend if you had space. Oh if I had— Certainly— Think on this. As the Lord hath heard the ejaculations and groans of your spirit in your infirmity, so he will now. If he will be glorified by your life, you shall live; Submit yourself to him, let him choose for you. My faith is weak. All, you know, are here but in part, you desire notwithstanding to run to that which is perfect: So you may see how low many have been brought, some (said he) have been Idolatours, was not Manasses such an one? Yes. And behold Gods servants from the beginning of the Bible to the end, they have slipped. Lot had shrewd slips, but yet here the testimony of the Apostle of him; he was just and righteous. You have been wearied and heavy loaden. Yes. For such is the end of Christ's coming: your desire is a token of favour: For by how much the nearer we come, the more we thirst. Think now on his loving kindness; he hath begun, and he will finish whom you have served. I did endeavour, but vile imperfections, etc. It is our greatest perfection here, to see our imperfections. Shortly after came to him many young Gentlemen, to whom he said, Live in God's fear, that you may die in his favour: Otherwise the Ox and the Ass will condemn you; I spent my time foolishly and prodigally. You have (said one) remembered that sufficiently; Remember also Christ. That is true, Christ is to be remembered, and our sins to be remembered also.  
The night following, which was Wednesday night, the Sun of Righteousness spread gracious beams at his setting, which were comfortable tokens of a glorious rising. His last swanlike song, as he uttered it, was penned by some as he uttered it. One comforting him by his bead-side some two hours or more before his death, he broke out into these speeches; Quid ●e salute mea sentiam expectatis ●t explicarem: usque adeo indulget Deus ijs quos semel dilexerit, ut eos nunquam deserat, atque ideo me in coelos transiturum pro certo habeo: Felicissima sunt ea vincula in quae me conjecit Deus benignissimus; You all expect that I should declare what I think of my own salvation: God is so indulgent to those whom he hath ever loved, that he never forsakes them, and therefore I am assured I shall go to Heaven: Most happy are those fetters into which I was cast by a most merciful God. One telling him, You have fought a good fight, etc. he said, Expetit, expedit ut contendam ad coelum; Tollite, Tollite, Eripite, Eripite, ut coelum adeam: Deus indulget ingenuitati bonorum. It is requisite, it is requisite that I should contend for Heaven: Take me up, take me up, carry me hence, carry me hence, that I may go to Heaven; God doth cherish the ingenuity of the good. Being put in mind of God's mercy towards him, he made answer: Oh, the sea is not so full of water, nor the Sun of light, as God is of goodness, his mercy is ten thousand times more. Being likewise remembered of God's goodness towards him, in filling his heart with such comforts, after so great tentations, he said: I do (God be praised) feel such comfort from that: What shall I call it? Agony, saith one, Nay, that is too little: That had I five hundred worlds, I could not not make satisfaction for such an issue. Being moved to lift up his heart in token of thankfulness unto his God, he uttered these words: What, shall I extol the magnificence of God, which is unspeakable, and more than any heart can conceive? Nay rather let us with humble reverence acknowledge his great mercy: What great cause have I to magnify the great goodness of God, that hath humbled, nay rather exalted such a wretched miscreant of so base condition to an estate so glorious and stately! The Lord hath honoured me with his goodness: I am sure he hath provided a glorious Kingdom for me. The joy that I feel in my heart is uncredible. He made likewise protestation of that which he always before taught against justification by inherent righteousness, and appealing to the knowledge of some there present, what he continually maintained, in that (saith he) I still remain a Protestant. After three chapters read to him, Revel. 19 Revel. 21. Rom. 8. Oh, (saith he) They be glorious comforts: Will you have any more read? Yea, a Psalm, if you please, and named the 23. One beginning to read it, he desired that it might be sung: One ask him, Will you sing? Yea, said he, as well as I can. The Psalm being sung, afterwards the 17. of John was read unto him: One comforting him by applying to him that in particular, which Christ in general performed for the good of the faithful, he said, Blessed be God, very often, I am a thousand times happy to have such felicity thrown upon me, a poor wretched miscreant. After a little rest, Lord Jesus (said he) unto thy hands: Lord receive my soul, Lord lift thou up ●he light of thy countenance upon me, and be merciful unto me. Then very weak he repeated the Lords prayer twice, and his Belief once very plainly, and distinctly with a strong voice, to the great admiration of the hearers: so he slept in the Lord.  
December 4. Anno 1611.   

The Postscript to the READER.  
THis copy of M. bolton's, and intended by him for the press, was by M. Edward Bagshaw (overseer of M. Boltons' Will, and specially entrusted for the printing of it) delivered about nine years since to M. George Miller, Printer of M. Boltons' works, to be by him printed, as he had done his other books, M. Miller carried it to the Licenser, who kept it long in his hands, and at last refused it, as too precise for those times: while it was in the Licensers' hands, one M. Milburne of intimate acquaintance with him, got a copy of it, and printed it about five years since: but upon examination, the transcribed copy was found imperfect, and by that means the book proved unsaleable. When this present copy was almost printed, M. Miller had notice of such a book, and not before. This is thought fit to be made known, that the Reader might understand that this present copy is the only true approved copy, and Licenced by an eminent Divine of the Assembly, as a fit and useful book for these present times.  
FINIS.   

Imprimatur  
Edm. Calamy.