THE APOLOGY OF Robert Tichborn AND john Ireton.  
Being a serious VINDICATION of themselves and the GOOD OLD CAUSE, from the Imputations cast upon them and it by the triumphing City and Nation in this their day of Desertion.  
Rebellion never prospered: what's the reason?  
'Cause if it prospered none durst call it Treason.  
Printed for every body but the light-heeled Apprentices and headstrong Masters of this wincing City of LONDON.   

THE APOLOGY OF Robert Tichborn AND john Ireton.  
IT is not unknown to us under how many scandals we groan, and how our Names hang up a sunning in all parts of the Nation, all bedaubed with infamous imputations, like an old greasy pair of breeches embroidered with Fuller's Earth. We confess that according to the Proverb, Men that have ill Names are as good as half hanged. Truly although we might aver this Proverb to be a lie, not finding the exercise of our Lungs at all straightened by the forfeiture of our Reputation; yet, to give the world a clear discovery of our spirits; and to show that we do not repent because of our Reproaches, we have thought good to publish these few lines by way of our justification; only let the Reader take this Caution along with him, that if there be any honour obtained by the penning thereof, he is to ascribe it only to him who is named first in the Title, for that my brother Ireton, though he be a good cunning man for the world, yet he never wrote a Book in his life, as I have done, so that it is not to be thought, that he who never put pen to paper should be so good a Penman as I, that have made a shift to make a whole Treaise. But methinks we now hear the world begin to Catechise us, first ask us, What are our Names? why we would have the World to know that we are not ashamed of our names; our names are Robert Tichborn and John Ireton, the which names of ours are also fringed about with the titles of Aldermen. You'll say, Who gave us these Names? Why even our Godfathers and Godmothers forsooth; for then the Swine of the world trampled upon these divine Truths which are since more freely practised: for a man could not have been washed from his sins in those days in deep Rivers, (as they cleanse sheep before shearing time) but he must have been hooted at by all the street. Neither to tell ye the truth did we much look after such kind of Stories, till we found Profession, or professing, which you please, necessary for the exaltation of our particular mortified Interests: But if you ask us, who made us Aldermen? we answer, not the City; for we were never beholding to them in our lives, (nor did we give them any reason to oblige us:) but our gracious Protector of happy memory raised us for his own ends and our profit: we say, of happy memory, for that he never opprossed us, never tyrannised over us, and therefore we have no reason to speak ill of him.  
We came several ways into preferment. As for my brother Ireton, All the world knows where he lived, and in what affairs of this transitory world he did occupy himself. It was Henry Ireton that like Cantharideses, raised up this City Blister of Authority. Truly he was his brother, and ye cannot blame him. Would ye not have thought it very strange, and a very unnatural thing in a brother to see himself Commissary General of a great Army, and Deputy-lieutenant of Ireland, and let his own flesh and blood still continue a seller of Druggett and Bombazine. Neither was he an ungracious, or an unthankful brother; for he was very officious, and obedient to him in all things, as being the more superior power. The subtle old Fox fescued to him with all diligence his primar of Policy, which the pretty apt thing learned with so much docibleness, that partly by his own industry, partly by the assistance of the Spirit he arrived in a short time to perfection, and enjoyed the fullness of his brother's Matchiavillianisms. Therefore when the Protector went first about to ride the great City he made use of us, as of two Bits to rein his High-metaled Steed. Nor must I be silent of his brother's charity, for he lent the compounding Cavaliers, though they were his enemies, money upon Mortgages and great advantages to himself, imitating therein the pious example of Mr. Moorecraft's kindnesses to the younger Lovelace, as you shall find it written in the Play of the Scornful Lady, whereby he got unto himself much of the riches of this world.  
For myself, I was always Pragmatical, and withal very Schismatical; and being in the cave of Narrow-fortune, I made my Mother the City drunk with the Clusters which I brought from Canaan, and she in her drink made me a Colonel; now because I had not so much money then, as I have now, I even contented myself with my Lord of Pembroke's old , and in them my thought I was as fine as the best Colonel of them all. Some that saw me march before my Regiment would say, What is the old Earl of Pembroke risen again from the dead? No foolish Galathians, it was not he, for the dead live not, so that it was not my Lord of Pembroke that lived in my , but I that lived in my Lord of Pembroke's old : Why if the Earl of Pembroke had carried his old  to his grave, I could not have had them, neither should I have desired them; but since that he had no need of taking them along with him (as indeed there is no need of  where Whoremasters and Swearers remain, because the place is heated with perpetual fires even like a Glass-house) should my Lord of Pembroke's old  have been thrown away? Nay verily, but they are in an error that say so: And I shall say this to the face of the whole world, that for my part I think my Lord of Pembroke was more beholding to that servant that sold me his , than to any man in the world, for that he raised unto his Lord a living Monument. But it was not my Lord of Pembroke's  that made me famous, it was a certain deliberate, grave, serious, pithy, godly, and most obstreperous piece of (I will not say) sense, because I was the Author, but let them be Judges that have patience to read it. Truly it will require some patience in a man to read it all over. So that if patience be a virtue, he that reads it quite through must needs be virtuous. I entitled it a Cluster Canaan's Grapes, meaning the Grapes which the Spies brought out of Canaan. Truly I think it is ominous to bring Grapes from Canaan; for from the time I brought home my Clusters, have I been counted a Spy too, not without reason; for to tell the truth, I have been a Spy upon the City ever since. This book made me appear to the world such a simple fellow, as if butter itself would not melt in my mouth. But Cromwell my very good Lord and Master, a man of a most piercing apprehension, finding that my mouth was not only able to melt the butter, but that my throat also was wide enough to swallow the Gudgeons, and perceiving me to have an Ostrich conscience, he took me into his arms, and said, Friend Tichborn, I find thee as fit for my Turn as if I had made thee myself, and therefore do but help me to carry on this great work of mine, and I will reward thee, not, that like a Saint thou shalt trust me till the world to come, but I will reward thee in this world, yea even in this world wherein thou now livest. Dost thou want Honour? I will make thee Lord Mayor of London; dost thou want money? thou shalt be my Danae, and I will shower gold into thy Lap. Say you so, thought I, money will make a Mayor to go. Truly it made me to go about many Designs which few men but he thanked me for: and I will say thus much for myself, and a fig for myself, that if faithfulness and reality be virtuous, I was virtuous, for I was always faithful and real to him I served. Truly 'tis a hard matter for a man to act his part well upon the Stage of this world. We thought we had done our parts as well as others, but the altering of one Scene, how it has changed our condition! And now what do not men say of us? They say that we have carried on all the barbarous Designs of the Anabaptists in the City, that we betrayed the Counsels, and were two Spies upon all the actions of our Fellow Gownsmen within the walls. Truly a great piece of business, and we live in a fine Age indeed, when men shall be blamed for being diligent in their Calling. I remember, that when I was a young man, my Master would say, Keep close to your Trade, and your Trade will maintain you. Now we believe that that way whereby a man gets his livelihood, he is bound to follow, and it is his Trade and Occupation. Truly we had a very good Trade, so that when all the City complained for want of Trading, we felt no such oppression. The Spanish Wars did us no harm, and I think we should have been fools indeed to have shut up our shops at such a time. Nor are we to be blamed for serving our Paymaster so faithfully; for what is there in the world so base as Treachery, especially treachery to a man's friend. 'Tis true we grant, that a man may betray his Country, or a whole City, or the most ingenious and faithful Party of a Nation. For there is a multitude, and a man hath no obligation to one in ten thousand; but to betray a man's friend, and the best friend he hath in the world, that's your treachery. Judas was not cursed for betraying his Country, but for betraying his single Master, who had so many ways obliged him, and at length made him his Treasurer, never calling him to any account. Then people say, We endeavoured all we could to break the City Charter, though we were members thereof, and extremely angry they were because my Brother Ireton would have been twice Mayor. Law ye now! what a coil here is. Truly 'tis a strange thing to us that people should keep such a stir with a Charter. Why, suppose ye had never a Charter, think ye the City would perish? I wonder what Charter that City had which Cain built in the Land of Nod. And yet, for aught I know, one man might have been Mayor there forty times, and no body have said any thing to him. In former time Mayor were Mayors as long as they lived, and were called Kings, witness Bera Mayor of Sodom, and Birshu Mayor of Gomorrah, and Chedorlaomer Mayor of Elam: Truly if I or my Brother Ireton were such a Mayor of London, as he was of Elam, we should be as good Mayors as he for all his hard name. Others blame us for unhorsing the Cavaliers; but they talk like fools, for we have made them beggars, and it is conttary to the Proverb, to set beggars a horseback. Give them Horses and they'll ride upon our shoulders. A great many people say we have no Charity. Truly we find it to be a very cold virtue, therefore we dare not let it come too near our hearts by reason of its benumbing and venomous quality. As many there be that say we have as little Honesty. But as for that, we shall only give this short answer, that if we have cozened the State, we have done no more than a great many of our Companions, and what we can justify from the continual practice of the Saints. And truly there is a great deal of reason that my Brother Ireton should have an Ishmaels' portion, being the son of the Bom●woman.  
Thus, I hope, we have fully satisfied the world, if the world be not as unreasonable as ourselves; for I confess I think 'twas not a small matter that satisfied us. 'Tis true, perhaps we may be a little puzzled what to say at the last day; but be of good comfort Brother Ireton, for if it be impossible for Saints to err, than it will go well enough of our side. Now I am as confident as I stand here we are two Saints; for I have proved it in my most Odoriferous Treatise of Muskadine, which gives you such essential marks of a Saint, that it may indeed be called the Saint's Butterprint: You may there see a Saint cut as exactly as a French gown. Now does any body think that my soul could breathe forth such experiences and holy truths, and I be a Knave▪ Now if there were nothing else, this were enough to satisfy any reasonable man. And therefore I shall say no more till I shall come to Preach to the multitude upon a Ladder, and then you shall hear as much again, if it be but only to delay time.  
FINIS.