THE Abdicated Prince; OR, THE ADVENTURES of FOUR YEARS. A Tragicomedy, As it was lately Acted at the COURT at ALBA REGALIS, By several Persons of Great Quality.  
— Nec Lex est justior ulla  
Quam necis artifices arte perire sua.  
The Second Edition.  
LONDON, Printed for John Carterson, 1690.   


THE Actors Names.  


The MEN.  
Cullydada, King of Hungaria Nova.  
Philanax, his true Friend and Counsellor, but out of Favour.  
Philodemus, Duke of Monumora, the Darling of the People.  
Pietro, a sly malicious Villain; a Renegado Christian, and turned a Mahometan Priest, chief Favourite of the Kings, and a Mortal Enemy to the Hungarians.  
Count Dadamore, a special Favourite of the Queens, an Italian by Birth, and sent on a Secret Message by the Mufti to the Hungarian Court.  
Barbarossa, Chancellor of Hungaria, a bloody-minded Villain, and Enemy to the Christians.  
Warranto Two Creatures of the Chancellors, raised on purpose to ruin the Laws and Liberties of the Hungarians.  
Dispenso Two Creatures of the Chancellors, raised on purpose to ruin the Laws and Liberties of the Hungarians.  
Remarquo, an Honest Hungarian; a deep Observer of the Court Intrigues, who by a Witty sort of Buffonery picks out and discovers all their Plots and Contrivances.  
Sentinels, Rabble, Messengers, Countrypeople, Officers.    


The WOMEN.  
Hautefelia, Queen of Hungary, a proud imperious bloody minded Woman, sworn Enemy to the Christians of Hungary, in Love with Count Dadamore.  
Mazeto, Marchioness of Bulgaria, chief Confident of Hautefelia.  
Sycophante, Countess of Shambrogue, and Favourite of Hautefelia.  
Celia, Midwife to the Queen.  
Secretta, Nurse to the Queen.      

THE Abdicated Prince; OR, THE ADVENTURES OF FOUR YEARS  

ACT I  

SCENE I. The Curtain being drawn, the King and Queen are discovered within the Scenes, rising as it were from a private Banquet, and advancing forward on the Stage. The Queen gins.  Queen. 
NOW the great Business of my Life is over;  
That Clog to all my Cullidadas hopes,  
That still kept down and awed my aspiring heart,  
Is now removed with silence and with safety:  
And now my active Freeborn Soul's at liberty.  
Yes, Cullidada, he is gone indeed;  
But you must needs confess with gratitude  
My active prompting Tongue did first inflame  
Thy shrinking Soul with courage and with reason.  
Time and Intemperance, thou'dst often say,  
Will soon perform (and that without our Crime)  
The utmost of our Wishes and Desires:  
But still thou wouldst forget the falling snow  
That then in flakes lay thick upon thy head,  
Which the faint warmth, alas! of thy chilled spirits  
Will ne'er, I fear, be able yet to thaw;  
And wouldst thou not my Cullidada grieve?  
Nay, if (as our most holy Prophet tells us)  
There's sense of pain and pleasure after death,  
Would it not make thy Paradise a Hell,  
To see thy vast ambitious Soul shrink back,  
And skulk and herd with the ignoble crowd  
Of uncrowned Heads?  
I grant indeed that Nature does encroach,  
And sometimes would confine our Appetites;  
Honour, Religion, Friendship too sometimes  
(Those bugbears of the crafty Priest's creatio  
Will needs intrude to regulate our Fancies;  
But these, alas, were at the first designed  
To influence the crowd, and to amuse  
The giddy Rabble, while the King goes free,  
And acts according to his inclination.  
Tell me, did e'er the Mufti (our High Priest,)  
When any powerful Monarch did demand  
Even what the most licentious would forbear,  
Provided always it did not detract  
From his own Glory, Interest and Power;  
Tell me, I say, did ever he refuse,  
Or with a tardy niggard hand send back  
His Bulls, Indulgences, and Dispensations?  
From this it follows, what the Monarch Wills,  
Is Law and Equity of course.  King. 
Well Hautefelia, I must praise thy care  
To make my Crown sit easy on my head;  
But I confess it something puzzles me,  
(And yet I want not Heart or Resolution)  
To think in what a world of difficulties  
We stand engaged.  
'Tis true, the glorious lustre of a Crown,  
Which by the easy temper of my Brother  
I grew acquainted and familiar with,  
Did so awaken my ambitious thoughts,  
And raised such murmuring contests in my breast,  
As made me at the last become his Rival:  
Then as two Friends, who when they have agreed  
To share the pleasures of a beauteous Mistress,  
Do yet with jealous eyes attend and watch,  
Each fearing and suspecting partial Favours;  
So I began to blame my unjust Fortune  
That by a trick of Eldership had given  
What my bold Genius told me I deserved,  
Nay, and deserved alone.  
Then still as my dislike grew on, the faults  
And weakness of my Rival, (as I thought)  
Increased and multiplied.  Qu. 
'Tis well, you say  
You saw these faults, and yet could tamely stand  
And wait the formal stroke of tedious time,  
 boldly grasp at what you thought your due.  Enter Pietro, Barbarossa, at one door, Remarquo at another. K. 
Yet, Hautefelia, I in time grew wise  
And nicked the happy Minute—  
With thy bold Counsels, and my own Ambition  
Prompted, I made a quick advance,  
Did I not Barbarossa?  Barb. 
Why truly Sir, by the neatness of the Contrivance, and quickness in the Execution, a body would think your Majesty was no Learner in the Trade of packing off Elder Brothers.  K. 
You know the manner, so I'll hold my Tongue.  Remarquo, [aside.] 
Oh had restraining Providence so held your hand! May it please your Majesty to hear your honest old Servant speak a word or two?  K. 
Speak on.  Rem. 
I have a scurvy Brother, who in a small dispute about Priority, even in my Mother's Belly, gave me a swinging box on the Ear, before I was ware, and by the advantage of that blow slipped into the World before me, and enjoys three thousand a Year in my prejudice; nay, though he has had the Ptysick, and laboured under a Consumption these fourteen Years, has neither Chick nor Child, and can't spend the Tithe of his Rents, yet he won't give me a farthing to maintain me, and would as soon invite a Captain and his Troop to Free-quarters in his House, as me to take share of a Bottle of his Wine, or a Christmass-dinner: Now Sir, here are your Chancellor and Confessor, two Persons of Notorious Conscience and Piety, they understand my Case, and I beg your Majesty's favourable determination.  [Here Barb. and Pietro shuffle up in haste to Remarq. and both whisper him. Barb. 
Sir, I know your Case very well, and if you would bring it before me, I should bring your Brother to reason; three thousand a Year, say you, and so inhuman to his only Brother? But I will be your Friend, not that I expect to be much a gainer, though I confess it will be a troublesome point: Three thousand a Year, said he, [aside this] A Man might pick up a handsome Portion for his Daughter out of it, and egad we must provide for those of our Household, as they say.  Pietro to Rem. [aside.] 
Sir, your Case appears hard and difficult, but I could put you into present enjoyment of two thirds of it, if I could be sure of the other.  K. 
Well Gentlemen, you must be kind to our old Servant, I know him honest.  [Exit King, Queen, with Barb. Pietro, manet Remarquo. Remarq. 
Now have I brought myself into a fine Praemunire, I have given them a hint of three thousand a Year, and I shall have them as troublesome to me as a hungry Kite to a brood of young Chickens: Oh! how they catched at the word, before it was well out of my mouth; and o' my Conscience will quarrel about the Dividend, though I have no more an Estate to lay claim to, than they have a stock of Conscience or Honesty: I spoke to fathom his dealing with his Brother, who is more than suspected to have had foul Play shown him; and though Men of least Conscience are commonly most quick of apprehension, yet for aught I could perceive they stumbled at my Parable, which I am glad of: Discretion must be the Badge of my Office, and Dissimulation the Dark Lantern to guide me.  
And sure 'tis an excusable deceit,  
Dissembling to do good does sanctify the Cheat.   

SCENE II.  Enter Queen and Mazato talking. Qu. 
Thou always bring'st me some good News or other,  
I feared that Cloud that for some Years ago  
Hung on the haughty proud Hungarian's brow  
Would ended in a Storm, but now I see  
The Sunshine of our better Fortune has  
Dispelled those noisome Vapours that did threaten us.  
But tell me, dear Mazato,  
Does not the fresh remembrance of a Prince  
That sometime was the darling of their Hearts  
Loosen their Tongues, and raise their poisoned Venom?  
How do they take this loss?  Maz. 
Then to be plain, if he had died seven Years ago, half the Women in the Town had run mad for him, but of late years these plaguy Politicians have kept such a pother about Sham-Plots, private Leagues, and a deal of such stuff, and going home to their Wives have told such lamentable Stories of him as quite turned their Hearts against him; and your Majesty knows poor silly Women are apt to believe any thing, God help them.  Qu. 
But dear Mazato, tell me how they like  
This taste of Government from Cullidada?  
Methoughts their shouts went up unanimous,  
Their Joys excessive, and their Welcomes hearty,  
(As if the Memory of all past quarrels  
Had been no more)  
When we ascended the Imperial Throne  
All Innocent, and all Divine they cried,  
As if that saying were Prophetical,  
That Crowns wipe off all stains.  M. 
Yes, yes,  
Like Spaniels, while at distance they behold  
The awful frown of their incensed Master,  
They'll cringe and creep to their acknowledged Duty:  
Yes, yes, th' Hungarians are all Obedience.  Qu. 
'Tis well, and much agrees with our designs,  
And yet my boding Soul foretells  
There's something wanting to complete my bliss.  Here the Queen sits down in a Chair musing. M. 
Now have I a months' mind to be guessing what this can be: Stay, I shall judge by my own wants: Well, [she muses and shrugs. the first Happiness a body would wish for, is a guilt Coach and six, to whisk through the City on a State-day, and make the Lady's teeth water in the Balconies; but hang it, she has that already, and so have I, so that can't be it: Well then, [she muses again. let me see, Money I have enough, and fine , and so has she, though to speak the plain truth, I believe her Majesty's Name, as well as mine is upon many an honest poor Citizen's Tally. Now sorrow take me if I can hit it, unless it be— [she pauses a while] Oh! what a Jade was I to miss the [running up to main point! Give me leave Madam, I have found (the Queen. out your Majesty's want; Oh that I should forget my dear Tommy! well, he was a sweet Lad, Madam, so good Company, and Efack a Man of business, ay, ay, Tommy, Efack I would have Tommy of all things in the World; I knew I could give a guess at your Majesty's meaning.  Qu. 
Why how now Mazato, thou dost surely rave.  M. 
Nay, but I humbly beg your Majesty's Pardon, I have been your Majesty's faithful Subject and Servant a long time, and I would not tell your Majesty a Lie for the World; when ever I think of my dear Tommy, 'tis a sort of Hell to want him; to be tied 〈…〉 Old Man that spends the best part of his Life in supping of friendless, and sweeting in Flannel, that has a good Dish of Meat before him, and has hardly the strength to say Grace to it; to go to Bed before Starlight, and lie till high Noon, and all the while lie as still as if you had drank Opium; and if the fit took you, and you resolved to be merry, the greatest Comfort you could have, would be to dance to the Music of his Nose: This is intolerable.  Qu. 
Oh! prithee stop Mazato, thou hast touched me to the quick; sure nothing but experience could so well delineate the Torments of uneasy Wedlock and yet thou hast only touched my smallest sore: Oh! my Mazato—  
Let thy more active Fancy paint  
What my unapter Tongue can ne'er express,  
Suppose the sorrow of some sleeping Miser,  
Who when his airy Fancy in a Dream  
Has shown him mighty heaps of wished for Treasure,  
With greedy haste pursues the pleasing Object,  
And with a murmuring fearful Joy approaching,  
Has stretched his longing Arms thinking to grasp it;  
When lo his waking faculty returns,  
(The Sun that dissipates his golden mist)  
And all his Joys, like some enchanted Castle vanish;  
Such is, my Dear, thy Hautefelia's Case,  
So transitory are the hopes I build on,  
The pleasing Vision which did so rejoice,  
Which showed me Mountains of delight and ease,  
Mountains, Mazato, that like little Worlds  
Seemed solid and ,—  
Is past, Mazato, she muses a little.— is it not?—  Ma. 
Now let me be far enough, Madam, but you must give me leave to tell you, your Majesty raves, as you call it: Past, say you? in the Name of Mahomet, what is past? I'll fetch it again if it be above ground, I'll warrant you. But by [aside the by, now I think on it, I wish my Commendation of honest. Tommy has not got me a Rival; come, come, let me tell you, Queens are Flesh and Blood as well as other Women, and as high as her Majesty looks, I caught her gnawing the Sheets t'other day, and that is a shrewd sign, let me tell you.  Queen musing. Qu. 
Dost mock me Mazato?  Sycophante and Count Dadamore appear at the door. Syc. to Da. 
My Lord, I'll ask your Lordship's Pardon, till I acquaint her Majesty with your attendance.  Da. 
I wait with Impatience.  Enter Sycophante. Syc. 
Ha! Musing? Well, I shall quickly put her out of her Dumps; this Count Dadamore is the Spark she has so [aside. often told me of, now he is come with abundance of business, and I'll warrant it private enough; or to speak it in other words, he has writ her a Billet Deux, and for the better security has brought it himself: Well, I'll e'en do as I would be done by; bring 'em well together, make my honours, and shut the door after me, and when her Majesty cries out, I'll come in and see fair play. May it please [making up to the Queen. your Majesty, Count Dadamore waits at the door, and begs the Honour of kissing your Majesty's hand.  Qu. 
Conduct him in with speed.  Ex. Syc. Qu. 
Now Honour, Virtue, Modesty defend me;  
For this is he, Mazato, this is he  
That by some strange mysterious art  
Has taken all my Senses Captive.  
Retire in pity, dear Mazato, do,  
And covet not to see thy Sex's weakness:  
No, stay, and see that lovely charming Man,  
And praise the judgement of my well laid choice.  Enter Count Dadamore and Sycophante. Da. 
It were a Crime to think, illustrious Queen,  
The small addition of a trifling Crown  
Can make a change in Hautefelia's Breast,  
Who stood before in Nature's Roll of Worthies,  
The first and chief.  
'Tis in this Faith the happy Dadamore  
Amongst the Crowd of your admiring Slaves  
Begs leave to kneel, and pay his adoration.  Ex. Syc. Qu. 
Rise noble Count, and think th' Hungarian Crown Shall ne'er make us forget our Friends or you.  Ma. [aside.] 
A good sturdy Fellow Efack, he has shoulders so like my Tommy, I'll warrant him no flincher: See what a Nose he has, true Roman Efack, I'll be hanged but he brought that Nose with him, on purpose to delude the poor Women here; an arch Wag, he knew what would please our Hungarian Ladies: No, no, that Nose never fails.  Da. aside 
Oh! my Prophetic Fears; how coldly she spoke.  to the Queen. 
I can't suppose Impossibilities,  
The brave and generous by nature act  
With decent courtesy to all alike;  
And common Gratitude obliges all  
To think with separate kindness of their Friends;  
But yet (forgive me if my just Despair  
Prompts me too freely to express my grief)  
Those Favours which your early Bounty gave,  
And which you often promised should continue,  
Ma●●●●. (alas! mistaken Wretch!) believe  
That something more than barely not forget  
Might be allowed to Dadamore—  Qu. 
Taxing my Gratitude you seem to own  
Your merit gained, those Favours which you boast,  
But I shall—  Ma. 
Oh, the weak Policy of Woman! that for [aside a trifling form of Modesty can thus endure to wrack themselves and others; as if Men did not see through our Cobweb Arts of Scorn and Cruelty: Now will I be hanged, for all her mincing, but her Teeth water to be at him: And for his part, he knows her mind so well, I'll warrant him for hanging or drowning.  Qu. to Maz. 
You may retire, Mazato, while he imparts his business to us.  Ma. 
I am all Obedience. Did not I tell you what [aside all these hard Words would come to? I knew it by myself, for I serve my Tommy so now and then: We Women of Honour don't tread the honest beaten paths of Love, but by little tricks, and turn and wind, we decoy our Gallants into the Snare, and by the like Tricks, when either our Fancies are palled, or their Courages cooled, we let them lose, and turn 'em out again, for 'tis not the fashion to be constant.  Exit Mazato. Da. 
Might I presume to lay aside the Queen,  
And with my wont Liberty approach  
My generous Hautefelia; I would ask,  
From what neglect of Duty or of Love  
This Cruelty and Coldness can proceed?  Qu. 
If noble Dadamore were still the same,  
As when his Hautefelia gave her heart,  
The Conscience of his Merit had allayed  
All Scruples that a jealous Love could raise,  
And fixed in that belief, could ne'er suppose  
She'd covet change, who by that change would lose.  Da. 
Oh! cease, alas! that word has punished more  
Than your mistaken Cruelty before;  
I see with Horror, and confess my Crime,  
And own your Goodness, like your Bounty, infinite.  Qu. 
My Lord, no more, I can believe you love me, nor should I blush to own that you are not indifferent to me; time presseth me, and I can say no more at present than this, that some important business will make me exact your Attendance very speedily, in the mean time go and be discreet.  Exit Dadamore. Queen, sola. 
Who waits there?  Enter Mazato, Sycophante. Qu. 
What is't a Clock Sycophante?  Syc. 
By my Eyes I should guests 'tis almost Bedtime, but your Majesty looks like a Rose just washed in the Morning-dew, so blithe, and fresh, and lively, I guess the Count has rejoiced your Majesty with some good News.  Qu. 
Quite otherwise, Sycophante; I know not whether my Face belie my Heart, but I was never more Melancholy than now. Prithee sing me that Song you learned last, I like the Humour on't.  Syc. 
O my Conscience so do I, for I put it in practice [aside. but last Night.  Syc. sings. 

WHy should Beauty stand contesting  
SONG. With the amorous pressing Lover,  
When the granting of the blessing  
To herself new Joys discovers?  
Let the Old and Ugly plead  
Their Fears and vain Excuses,  
Beauty stands in no such need,  
And is above Abuses.   

Yield Phyllis then while time invites,  
And all your hopes are easy,  
Delay in business or delights  
Should never never please you.   Qu. 
Delay in Business or Delights  
Should never never please you.  
Seasonable advice, Sycophante, is it not?  Syc. 
Yes, Madam, If a Body had the Will to follow it.  Qu. 
Ah Sycophante, never tax my Will,  
But blame that cruel overruling Fate,  
That with an envious Industry opposes,  
And bars the Progress of my Undertake.  Syc. 
The Wise do always govern their own Fate,  
And Fortune with officious Zeal attends  
To crown their Erterprises with Success;  
But since our Holy Prophet has been pleased  
(Wisely foreseeing how your pious Care  
Would serve to reinstate and to improve  
The falling Interest of his just Disciples)  
To fix your Majesty in this high Sphere,  
The better to enable and enlarge  
Those Holy Resolutions you had taken:  
It would be now a sort of Blasphemy  
Once to suspect or doubt his just assistance.  
No, No, great Princess, let but your endeavours  
Go on with equal Zeal and Industry,  
And I'll engage Perfection to your Wishes.  Enter Remarquo at a distance. Rem. 
Hum! Who have we got here now? On my life [aside. her pious Majesty, with her brace of Counsellors; I'll warrant you they have no less business before them than building of Churches: Well, I must hearken, for by their whispering and caballing they must have some grand design on foot.  Qu. 
'Tis true, I have it settled in my Heart,  
From whence the torturing Rack should never tear it,  
During the time our holy Prophet grants  
To us to share and fill th' Hungarian Throne,  
No means, endeavours, industry shall fail,  
To extirpate the Christian Interest hence,  
And raise the Pagans to their former Glory.  Rem. 
Why look ye there, what an even guess have I! I was sure Religion was the main point in Debate: These Women are never without a scruple of Conscience, though they always take care to have the satisfaction of committing the Sin, before ever they'll put themselves to the trouble of disputing the Unlawfulness of it.  Maz. 
Since than your Majesty stands so resolved,  
(As 'tis high reason that you should be so)  
What can these doubts or needless scruples mean?  
(Forgive me if my hearty Zeal provoke  
Words which my conscious Duty should forbear)  
Have you not now within your power to act  
As even your Will shall prompt you?  Qu. 
No, Mazato,  
The obstinate Hungarians often plead  
Peculiar Laws and ancient Liberties,  
Which with a daring resolution they  
With Lives and Fortunes threaten to defend.  Maz. 
Prerogative and Kingly Power runs low,  
When 'tis disputed by unthinking crowds,  
Or which is worse, by haughty Sanhedrims.  Rem. 
Now shall we have these two Ladies new [aside mould that Covernment in a moment, which has been settled by the wisest Heads in the Kingdom for these hundred and fifty years.  Maz. 
But, Madam, grant this wild unruly Rabble  
Should in a puling Fit repine or murmur,  
Are we so destitute of sound advice,  
Of wilily Stratagems and Policies,  
As we should doubt to take this stalking ,  
Even in their own weak Snares?  
Your Cullidadas Predecessor knew  
So well to manage even the most refined  
Of all the Christian Herd, that singly he  
Would with his Eloquence alone defeat  
The united Counsels of whole Sanhedrims.  
'Tis known, the Mufti, our most Holy Father,  
Has in his secret Conclave oft declared,  
(According to our Prophet's great Instructions,  
As he is pleased to Interpret)  
That for to propagate the Faith and Power,  
Or to enlarge the sacred Territories  
Of his most pious Mussulmen— No means,  
Whether by breach of Oath, (which silly Christians  
Account so sacred) or by the rougher Art  
Of Cutting Throats, of Poison, Halter, Dagger,  
Or any other yet unthought of way:  
No means, I say, though seeming barbarous,  
But what by strict anathemas declared  
To be both good and meritorious.  
And how can Royal Cullidada then,  
Who by established great Prerogative  
Has, like another Deity, the Power  
Of Life and Death invested in himself;  
(For, whom the King's resolved to ruin, who shall save?)  
How can he want, let him but have the Will,  
Means to complete your utmost Resolution?  Rem. [aside.] 
Now I should never have wondered to have heard so learnt an Harangue from Barbarossa or Pietro, the two pious Directors of our gracious King's Conscience; but from Madam Mazato this, whose whole Discourse I thought should have been of nothing but Billet Deux, and bawdy assignations; indeed 'tis something strange! but I see Love-intrigues improve a body in State-politicks, as Shoulders learn the Art of War by moving and removing the Men on a Chessboard. Well, good People of Hungaria, if ever you desire to be informed, or are willing to be persuaded to turn Mahometans, pray repair to Madam Mazato, and her Highness the Queen, they have forcible Arguments to induce you, and if you can prevail with your weak Stomaches to digest Halter and Faggot, they have a flaming Zeal to convert you.  [aside. Qu. 
Alas! Mazato, Cullidadas Will,  
After such signal proofs can ne'er be doubted;  
His early Care and watchful Industry,  
To re-induce our holy Koran,  
Has even to danger of his Crown and Life,  
Made him obnoxious to the Hungarian Laws:  
Nor has the Accession to the Imperial Crown  
Allayed or cooled his first determinations:  
But when by indefatigable Care,  
By private Promises and public Threats,  
By condescending Smiles and Closetting,  
By Judges picked, and pension Sanhedrims;  
By private Murders, public Executions;  
(For Obstacles must be removed of course)  
By breach of Words, and often Perjuries;  
When by these means and others, dear Mazato,  
We have shaked the sure Foundations of those Laws,  
Which the Hungarians so much boast and value;  
The momentary pleasures we shall reap,  
Will prove no more substantial than the Dreams  
Of Thirsty Drunkards—  
Alas, Mazato, one bold stroke of Time  
Or Death, can in one moment disannul  
All that our tedious Industry has gained,  
And then how soon that fatal stroke may happen  
From Cullidadas growing Weaknesses  
(Which like the silent steps of Midnight Thiefs  
Creep hourly on him) we have much more cause  
To fear, than hopes to hinder:  Mazato starts 
Well may'st thou start to hear these frightful Truths.  
But what must I, Mazato, who must stand  
And bear the test of all; unless kind Fate  
And our wise Mufti could inculcate to us  
Some more effectual Method to secure  
Our Infant Projects to Posterity?  Mazato shakes her head, and muses. Syc. 
Now if a body might speak plain truth to her Majesty, what a hopeful way could I put her in, and cure her of all fears and scruples?  Qu. 
What truth thou canst speak in this matter, Sycophante, relates to the good of the Public, and therefore can't displease.  Syc. 
Then, Madam, with submission, I'd have you do as several of your wise Predecessors have done before. I have read of some notable Queens of Hungaria, as well as of other neighbouring Countries, who when their Husbands have been troubled with the Pip, like old Cocks that have lost their spurs, or their thoughts so taken up with abstract notions of Divinity, that they have had no leisure to mind even the necessary carnal Affairs of the World; why then, mark me, these Queens fearing to lose the opportunity of having their Pictures drawn, (for that's the way that Queens transmit their memory to posterity) they have sat several times to several Limners, and so continued till the business has been done to the Life. Now, Madam, though I confess Cullidada has been a reputed good Painter in his time, yet now he's grown old, and his Hand shakes, his Pencil is worn, and his Eyes are bad, his Fancy palled, and his Colours corrupt, so that you may better sit to a Signpost dauber than to him; therefore Madam I advise you to send quickly for some of the most expert in the Trade; be assiduous and diligent; for hang me, I never grudged my pains so I could gain my ends; and in a very short time you'll find a happy alteration in your Affairs.  Qu. 
Why thou art a rare discusser of hard Questions Sycophante; thou arguest like a Philosopher.  Syc. 
I pretend to be part of a Natural one.  Qu. 
But the greatest difficulty is, to find some of these Artists; I know but few, and a body would not trust to strangers: They are often careless or ignorant; and I would not have my Business slubbered over.  Maz. 
Well, now I hope to come in with a piece of Advice: If your Majesty would have your Business done exactly, and to the very life, Take my Tommy; well he has a bold stroke with him; he draws all in Flesh and Blood: Tommy, Madam, Tommy should be the Man, I say: Though by the way, I had rather she'd let him alone; for my Tommy has as much business with me as he can lay his hand to. aside.  Qu. 
No Mazato, I should not like thy Tommy: He has been a long time about thee, and yet has made but a bare piece of work on't. Now Vengeance take them, if they don't guests better, and save me the trouble of naming one myself. Oh! Dear Dadamore, hast thou never a Friend here?  Aside. Syc. 
I'll name your Majesty several, and so take their choice. What think you of Pietro? Let me tell you he has a gentile way with him, to my knowledge.  Aside. Qu. 
'Tis true, I could fancy Pietro well enough for an after Game;  [aside] 
and indeed, for fear of the worst, a body would have two strings to one's Bow: But my Count, my Count; in Drawing, Fancy is a vast matter: Oh, if I were to be drawn in Flesh and Blood, (as Mazato says) my Count would be the Man.  [Aside.] 
No Sycophante, Pietro's a devout Man, and concerned in the Church; he might mistake my Minutes, and fall a Preaching up Abstinence when I have a mind to Feast. No Sycophante, I would be upon sure grounds; you know I have been balked enough already: Oh! My dear Dadamore.  Aside. Syc. 
I find her drift:  [Aside] 
'Tis certain our Hungarians are not so lively and brisk in their Fancies, as your Gallo Grecians and Italians.  Qu. 
Oh! Your Italians are brave Fellows; why they are Men of an universal fancy; there's not Man, Woman, Beast or Fowl, escapes them: Nay, I have heard them say, the great Noah was an Italian, and that most of the Creatures in the Ark were of his own drawing.  Syc. 
Why then I have thought of an Italian that will fit your Majesty to an Hairs breadth.  Qu. 
Who prithee Sycophante? Who? Prithee name him my Dear: Who? Who? [she makes up eagerly] Oh! if she should mistake me now.  [Aside. Syc. 
I hope I need go no farther than the Noble Count Dadamore.  [Remarquo listens, and retires to a corner. Qu. 
Oh! Sycophante thou hast touched the string that makes Harmonious Music in my Soul.  Syc. 
Now this comes of Modesty: If you had spoke but half a word of this before, your business had been done by this, but since it is as it is, better late than never.  Qu. 
Since all our Interests are so interwoven,  
Why should I doubt to tell you my resolves?  
Pietro, Dadamore, and you my Friends,  
Do all agree that nothing but an Heir  
Can fully raise and fix our just desires:  
Nay, even Cullidada does agree  
In this, and differs only in the Manner.  
The Mufti will assist in this just Cause,  
Our Neighbour Monarch presses it with Zeal:  
Time, Circumstance, and Sacred Duty urge us,  
And shall we now be backward to ourselves?  
'Tis true, since necessity does urge,  
My Dadamore of all Men else I'd choose;  
And my Prophetic Soul foretold success,  
Even from the lucky minute of his Landing.  
For then alone our Hopes do fairest stand,  
When Love goes with Religion hand in hand.  [Exeunt Omnes.]  
The End of the first ACT.   

ACT II.  

SCENE I.  Enter Remarquo solus. Rem. 
SO so! we are like to have warm work on't e'faith; this late Scene of Mirth and Joy for our new King and Queen may probably prove like the last blaze of a Candle spent in the socket: Young Philodemus they say is Landed in the West with a trusty Troop of Myrmidons, and sets up for the Christian Religion: Ha', ha', this Religion is the most quarrelsome thing in the World. There has not been a War in Europe this many Ages, but Religion still came in for a share; and Heaven knows, they that make most pother about it have commonly lest to do with it: Well, what the event may be I cannot divine; but it is certain, this young Prince carries a great stroke in the People's Hearts, though in reality, he is but Natural Son to the late King; and has no more right to the Crown of Hungary, than I have to be King of Poland; however this good may come of his Enterprise, that if he escapes, though he be vanquished, he'll serve for a bridle to the exorbitant humour of our haughty ill-designing Queen, and to correct the weakness of an obstinate bigoted King. I have heard part of her designs; and how to advance the Pagan Religion in Hungary, she would not scruple to expose her Husband's Honour, her own Chastity, or the Kingdom's Welfare and Peace; but let her drive on, I have a reserve in store for her, that will make her Minions scratch, herself chafe, and Cullidada tremble; that will make him turn his tune of Obedience without Reserve, and be glad if his People will then take their own again and be quiet: But stay, here he comes with his Pious Chancellor and Confessor; he has Fire in his Eyes, and sullen Rage in his Face; he has heard of Monumora's Landing: I'll hush, up in a corner, and hear their Conference.  Enter King, Barbarossa, Pietro, Philanax, with Guards and Attendance. K. 
Well, 'tis no more than what he has threatened, and I expected; but what numbers has he with him?  Pie. 
'Tis certain he brought not an hundred with him, but in two days he's increased to three thousand, you may see now the Faith and Loyalty of Christians.  Ph. 
Pietro, abuse not the principle of Christianity, for the evil practices of a few misguided Creatures.  K. 
You speak very tenderly of them Philanax, thou seemest unwilling to call them what they are, Rebels.  Bar. 
Well, from this time forward farewel Christianity; they shall lose a Pillar of me.  Phil. [Aside] 
O my Conscience, a Caterpillar both in Church and State.  Bar. 
Well I shall have the handling of some of them, I'll put a Collar mark on them.  K. 
Have you given Orders for raising the Militia? What Troops are gone down? Detach half of my own Guards, and make what haste you can to meet them: I hear they talk big, I'll soon try whether Rebels Hearts are as good as their Tongues.  Pie. 
Do you hear Philanax, the King says you must give no quarter: Sir, [he whispers the King,] you may lop them off now with Conscience and Honour, (as they have it in their Language) all that are in Arms shall fall of course, and Barbarossa, by a fetch of Law, will bring in the rest for Abettors.  Bar. 
Nay, nay, I reckon I shall come in for the glean: Well my Teeth water to be amongst them.  Enter Messenger. M. 
God Save our Sovereign Lord the King.  K. 
Prithee tell me of saving when the Enemy's beat. What News from the Rebels?  M. 
Why an't please your Majesty, they are all there together.  K. 
Prithee where together, how many are they, what do they do, and where's my Army? Speak to all this.  M. 
Why then an't please your Majesty, they are like a swarm of Bees; I'll warrant you they are at least a Thousand: No, no, I mistake, they are more a huge deal; for I saw them, and they reached from one end of our great Lane to th'other, and they all swore, they'd fight up to the Ears in Blood for the Christian Religion.  [Exit Messenger. Pie. 
This is the Christian Passive Obedience, Sir.  Bar. 
Yes, yes, when they want an opportunity to get into Active Rebellion, why then they are all for Passive Obedience: But let but some fawning Nobleman, that can pull off his Hat to the Rabble, and shake hands with the Country Gentry at a Horse Race; let him I say but repair to the Market-Cross of some disaffected Town, and make an harangue of Liberty and Propery, and the Christian Religion, and e'faith they'll change their Tune in a moment, and like negligent Schoolboys when they have got into a new Lesson, they presently forget the old one.  K. 
Well Pietro, when this brush is over, I'll read 'em a Lecture of Pagan instruction:  Bar. 
And I'll see them put it in practice.  Phil. 
Sir, let not ill insinuating Tongues,  
So far prevail upon your Royal Heart,  
To make you think your Christians can be false.  
I saw your Troops when marching 'gainst your Foe;  
And saw on every Face the stamps of Loyalty.  
Such vigorous briskness in their Eyes was seen,  
As when the Bridegroom hastens to his Joys:  
And as they marched and turned through every street,  
In loud and oft repeated Acclamations,  
They cried, (which by the joyful People was returned)  
Let our great Cullidada Live and Reign,  
And let his Rebels perish.  K. 
Well Philanax, I know thou speak'st thy Love; but late experience, to my cost, has shown your Christian's love and sentiments of me.  Pie. 
Yes Sir, they showed their Zealous Loyalty, when with unheard of Impudence they stood disputing your Succession to the Throne.  Bar. 
Yes, yes Sir, do but trust them as your Father did, and they'll make you a Glorious Prince: Sir Philanax, you do ill I must tell, to plead thus for a company of Rebels; let me tell you Sir, I have had many a one Whipped and Fined unmercifully for less words than these: Come Sir let's have no pleading for Rebels.  Phi. 
Sir, when I plead 'tis for the innocent, and let the guilty suffer.  Bar. 
Sir, guilty or innocent, 'tis all one for that; if the King has a mind to punish them, 'tis ill Manners to argue against it.  Phi. 
Sir I am silent. O! Poor Hungaria, thou art like to thrive under such a dispenser of Justice.  [Aside.] Ex. Phil. Enter second Messenger. M. 
Great Sir, the Enemy in a vast Body are on their march, and design, without delay, for Alba Regalis.  K. 
How far's our Army from them?  M. 
Seven Leagues.  K. 
Pietro then make haste, send to our General;  
Bid him, with all the speed he can, advance  
And give them Battle: We must stop their progress,  
Or they'll gather like a rolling Snowball.  [Ex. Pie. Mess. K. 
Barbarossa you must also speed,  
And prepare a Proclamation of Pardon  
To all that shall return to their Duty  
Within five days.  
I must for show put on the meek Lamb's skin,  
But soon they'll feel I'm Lion all within.  [Ex K. Bar. Manet Remarquo solus. Rem. 
Certainly never Man took such pains to win a Kingdom, as this unhappy Prince does to lose one: He has taken upon him to be the Father of his People; yet has sworn in his Heart to ruin and destroy them: He has Apostatised from his Faith, and made a sale of his Honour; and as it was said of him before his coming to the Crown That he never broke his word: So since his accession we may say, to our sorrow, That he never kept it. His people set him up, though excluded by Law, and chose rather to be guided by their love to his Family, than by the reasonable Rules of even necessary Politics; they generously fixed all their thoughts on the King, and never disputed the Errors of the Pagan; and how well they are likely to be paid for their kindness, the Queen and Pietro have too lately declared. Well, they may be as extravagant as they please, but ' e fack the Reckoning must be paid one day.  
Surefooted Vengeance, though he moves not fast,  
Will catch th' unwary Criminal at last.  [Ex Remarq.  

SCENE II. The Duke of Monumora's Outguards.  Enter Countryman. First Centinel. 
Who comes there, stand, what are you?  Countryman. 
A poor Countryman that has left his Wife and seven Children, to come and fight with his Highness' Grace for the Chursten Religion, God bless him.  Cent. 
Prithee speak, are you for the Christian Duke of Monumora, or the Pagan King of Hungaria?  Countr. 
Udsbud he would fight for ne'er a Pagan King in Churstendom, so he would'nt, as long as he could heave a Bill to his Shoulders: No, no, he would have no saying Prayers to the Twelve Apostles, and twenty more beside. No, no, the good Wife would never let'n live in quiet, if I dud'nt fight for Prince Philodemy and the Chursten Religion.  Cent. 
Thou art one of us I see, come on; what Arms hast thou brought with thee?  Coun. 
'Slid he has both Arms and Ammunition; Law ye, here's a good tough brown Bill, and the best white Loaf Joan e'er made in all her Life.  Cent. 
That's one sort of Ammunition indeed: Come honest Brother, pass; you are in the direct way to the Mainguard, and so good morrow.  Enter second Countryman. Cent. 
Who comes there? stand, stand or I'll fire, stand I say.  Coun. 
What a Fool he was to make a Maun stand tull the Pagan Rogues come and knockn o'the head: Udsbud ler'n go to the Chursten Camp, and help young Philodemy to thrash those Pagan Dogs: A murrain on 'em ho  abide 'um.  Cent. 
Advance, advance Brother; what Arms have you brought with you?  Count. 
By my faith Maun as good a Scith as e'er moved Hay; udsbud ho will so maul their shanks, ho will warrant the Pagan Rogues for coming into the West Country these twenty Years again.  Cent. 
Well Brother you know the way, I wish you a good Joruney.  Enter a Country Maid crying and running. Ma. 
Alack, alack, my poor Jonny; alack, alack, why would he go to be killed by the ugly Pagans.  Cent. 
hay day what have we hear, a young Dove that has lost her Mate, and now she's a cooing after him. Well what want you, whether are you travelling so early.  M. 
Alack, did ho see my poor Jonny away here?  Cent. 
What a like man was he?  M. 
Ah hoos Jonny was aruddy like Maun, and ho told me, ho loved me dearly.  Cent. 
Come give me a good kiss, and I'll—  [While the Centinel offers to kiss the Maid, Trumpets sound, and Drums beat; at which he starts Cent. 
Troop off. troop off, my little Doxy, Mars cannot be in Conjunction with Venus, this time.  Drums and Trumpets again. Enter Philodemus, Officers and Soldiers on one side, the Rabble on the other. First of the Rabble. 
Look, look, does ho see? Which is Prince Philodemy?  Second. 
Why you tall Maun with the Nose: Oh! Hoo's so like his Father.  Third. 
Why did hoos know his Father?  Second. 
No, known what then, hoo's sure he must be like his Father he's so handsome.  Sould. 
Gentlemen, keep silence while the Prince speaks.  [The Prince beckons with his Hand, and pulls of his Hat Philod. 
Gentlemen,  First Rab. 
Did ever ho hear such a civil, well bred Prince; why ho called us all Gentlemen at the very first word: Well, ho shall have my Vote to be King.  Philod. 
I am come here to fight for the Christian Religion; and I hope you'll all stick by me.  Omnes. 
Yes, yes, we'll all fight for the Chursten Religion, and Prince Philodemy.  Philod. 
Do ye love your Wives?  Rab. 
Yes, yes, we love our Wives as long as we can stand.  First Rab. 
No, no, I don't love my Wife; for I caught her a mowing with Jacob in the Barn, so I don't love my Wife, but I love the Chursten Religion and young Philodemy.  Philod 
And you would not have them taken away and ravished by the cruel Pagans.  Omnes. 
Udsbud, No, hoo's have many a broken head first.  Second Rab. 
Udsfish an they ravish my Wife, ho would sub poena them into the Bishop's Court, and let'n take what follows.  Philod. 
And you would not have your Children murdered before your Faces?  Omnes. 
Ah lack, no no.  [here they fall a wouling. Fourth. Rab. 
Alack, I would not have my Tommy killed for the best Cow in my Landlord's stall; ah Neighbour, you know his God mother would almost cry her Eyes out for him.  Philod. 
Well Gentlemen, if you have a value for your Wives, your Children and Estates; if you wish well to the Christian Religion, as Established by Law; if you would keep your Churches undefiled with the Heathenish Idolatry of the Pagans, and your Daughters with their Beastly Lusts; why then Gentlemen stick close by me, and I shall endeavour to preserve you in your Religion, your Laws, your Liberties, and over and above reward every one of you for your kindness and love to me: Therefore Gentlemen, if you do resolve to espouse this Cause with me, let us be resolute and valiant, and oppose our Enemies to the utmost drop of our Blood: We shall not have many of these opportunities to do ourselves good, therefore we must strike now or never; and indeed if we gain this, we need fear no more, our Enemies will never stand again, no they will run like Hares before us.  First Rabble, 
Run away says he? Will they so? Udsbud then I'll be after them full drive; I always loved an Enemy that would run away without any more ado: Oh! I fight like a Lion always when they run away.  Philod. 
Pray Gentlemen bring what Fire Arms you can with you, and I'll take care to have you Regimented and well disciplined; and so I bid you hearty farewel.  Second Rab. 
But hark you me, I pray your [the D. is going. Worship one word with you before you go.  Philod. 
Speak Friend.  Rab. 
Must we be all Officers?  Offic. 
Oh! yes, yes, all Officers.  [Ex. D. cum suis. Third Rab. 
Why then hark you me neighbour, I'll be a Colonel; and look ye me, because you are my friend, you shall be, [he scratches] what don you call that is the next Maun after me,  Fourth Rob. 
Pugh, pugh, I'll be the place of a Justice, law ye now.  Fifth Rab. 
Why hoo's a Fool, we mu'n be all Colonels or Captains; why there never is any justice in the King's Army:  Sixth Rab. 
Come, come, let's us make ourselves ready for these Pagan Rogues, and so let us pray, [owns] God bless the Chursten Religion and Prince Philodemy.  [Exeum Rabble.  

SCENE III. The Scene changes to Alba Regalis.  Enter Barbarossa, Pietro Bar. 
No News from the Camp yet Pietro.  Pie, 
The King has not a word but that the Rebels increase daily: He has sent other strict orders to the General to fight them without delay.  Enter Remarquo. Bar. 
'Twas a desperate attempt of the Duke of Monumora's to invade a Kingdom at time of peace with so small a handful of Men.  
He had certainly great hopes of Friends in the Country, and I begin to fear the worst.  B. 
Well, you and I must follow the same fate; we must stick close together.  Rem. 
I hope to see you close hang together. [aside.]  
My Lord your Servant.  Bar. 
Honest Remarquo how goes it: Well I have considered your affair, and design you a kindness assoon as this Plaguy business of the West is over.  R. 
My good Lord, your Servant thanks you; perhaps his own business may be over by that time.  [Aside. Pie. 
Well Remarquo what News from the Rebels; I have not been at Court to day.  Rem. 
Now will I heat 'em: [aside] Why Sir, matters appear to be much more dangerous than we thought at first: The Country comes in strangely to them; they all cry up for the Chursten Religion, and Prince Philodemus, whom they now call King.  [Barbarossa startles. B 
Good lack Remarquo; but is it so?  Rem. 
He has put out a Proclamation of Pardon to all that will submit, with some few exceptions only; and I think he has had the Confidence to put in your Lordship and this Gentleman more for two.  [Bar. fumes and muses. Bar. 
Udslife this is very hard, to fall thus from the very prick of preferment; this must not be.  [Aside.] 
[He muses and looks hard at Pietro.] And is the Reverend Pietro. excepted too, 'tis unjust: Let me see, I must contrive some way or other to save my bacon; [aside] what if I should betray Pietro into the Duke's hands: [aside] Nay, King Queen, all should go if I could save but Barbarossa, the great Barbarossa: I'd assoon hang as go to my old trade of Petryfogging again. [Aside.  Enter Messenger. M. 
My Lord the King commands both your attendance.  [Ex Barb. Piet. Rem. 
Oh! The tortures of a guilty Conscience.  
See how he fumed and trembled at my News:  
The sound of a Post-boys horns as troublesome  
To him as that of a Passing-Bell:  
And there's not a Messenger comes from the Camp,  
But he fancies he has a present of a Halter to make him.  
Well, he has been the boldest Sinner that ever Hungary knew:  
For whereas most Vices covet to lurk under the disguise of Virtues, he has made it his sole business to expose his bare faced; as if it was not sufficient for the World to know, without they saw him commit them.  
Yes Barbarossa I will do this right,  
What e'er thou art, thou art no Hypocrite.  [Ex Remark Scene the Camps. Enter the Duke of Monumora, leading his Army over the Stage. Duke 
Halt; give the Word softly.  Sold. 
Halt, halt.  Duke. 
Gentlemen we must march with all the silence imaginable; the Night favours us, and we may take them knapping. When we come upon them, we must fall on without any good morrows; one hours good work and the day is our own: Billmen succeed the Shot, and fall on pell mell; 'twill be time enough to give Quarter at Sun-rise, when we can know who and who's together. Now march.  Sold. 
March, march  [Exeunt. Noise of Drums, Trumpet's, shouts, cries of Dying Men, clashing of Swords, &c Enter Officer with Soldiers re-treating. Offi. 
Stand, stand, and charge the Rogues; some Villian betrayed us; they were prepared for us: Come, come, charge; flying wont save us.  [They beat the Enemy back Enter Duke of Monumora. D. 
Here Colonel, take your Regiment of Firelocks; line those Hedges; I'll stand the Body. Where's the Horse? Here speed to the Horse, bid them charge their Flanks: Charge them home brave boys. They fly, they fly.  [They beat the Enemy off again. Enter Soldier. 
Sir provide for yourself: Retreat assoon as you can; you are betrayed: The General of the Horse is marched off without striking a stroke: The Enemy are pouring in upon us, and 'twill be impossible to stand.  [The Duke stands amazed. Offic. 
Dear Sir make off, you'll be surrounded in a moment.  D. 
We have time enough to damn that Villian first,  
Let him by Woman, Man, and God be cursed.  Ex Duke Drums, Trumpet's, Shouts Acclamations of Victory Enter a few Shoulders of the Dukes, crying Quarter, Quarter, Pursued by Officer and Soldiers Offi. 
Down with them, down with the Rebels.  D. Sol. 
Quarter, Quarter, Noble Colonel, spare our Lives.  Offi. 
Down with your Arms then, [They through them down] though you had as good be knocked o'the head as hanged. Here takes the Rogues, tie them together, and drive'um before you.  [Soldier, Tie 'em. Sol. 
Come march you Rebelly Dogs.  Enter the King's Army with Drums Beating, Colours flying, Trumpets sounding, leading their Prisoners with them: The General meets them. Gen. 
Gentlemen you have behaved yourselves bravely; the King has ordered his Thanks to you, and will take care to reward you.  Soldier 
shout, Long Live Culledada King of Hungary.  Gen. 
Here you Colonel, detach a Regiment of Horse, and two of foot, and scour about the adjacent Countries for Monumora; he can't be got far; the King gives Five Hundred Pound to them that take him.  [Exeunt Omnes. Enter Duke of Monumora solus in disguise. 
And art thou then that Glorious Monumora? [looking on himself.  
Whose Praise filled every Tongue, touched every Heart:  
Whose beck commanded the obsequious crowd;  
Whose Name, (like that of Hannibal to Rome)  
Did make the proud Hungarian Monarch tremble:  
Sure thou mistak'st thyself, and by some trick  
Of wild Enchantment, thou art here deluded.  
Who waits there? No Attendance? Call my Guards,  
How fares the Army? come let's charge the Flank.  
Bring up the Horse: So ho! bring up the Horse!  
Now by the Gods the Villain flies: Oh! See the Villian  
Now Monumora thou hast time to see  [He groans. 
The slippery, weak Foundation of thy Greatness:  
That Airy Phantom of a Diadem,  
Which thou with so much eager fondness strove.  
To grasp, which cost thee some whole toilsome Years,  
That robbed thee of thy Pleasure all the day,  
Thy Nights of Sleep and necessary Rest:  
Thou hast seen it now in one poor minute vanish.  
One Sun has seen thee rise a hopeful Monarch.  
And showed thee Mountains of solid Gold:  
The next has with an envious hand withdrawn,  
(As new sueceeding Kings are wont to do)  
All that his Predecessors gave before  
Not yet five hours, and thou were't great and good:  
The Christians Hope, the Pagans Four and Torror,  
Hungaria's great Defender, King, and Darling:  
Now, poor forsaken Caitiff, Villain Rebel.  
Such Fortune is thy vast unlimited Power,  
That canst as 'twere unite even Contradictions.  
In thee alone 'tis placed, to Carse or Bless,  
Nor Cause, nor Man, is good without success.   
The End of the Second ACT.   

ACT. III.  

SCENE I. Alba Regalis.  Enter King, Barbarossa, Pietro, Philanax. King. 
WEll now Sir Philanax, I hope you'll grant,  
Your Christians can be Rebels, sturdy Rebels:  
Yes, yes, I am informed, though much o'er powered,  
By th' number of my Forces, yet they stood  
And sought it briskly. Sure they were inspired  
By their young Dagon.  Pie. 
When they first came on  
In echoing Shouts, they thus expressed themselves,  
Long Live Hungaria 's King, Great MONUMORA.  
But your great General, who even from their Camp  
Had early Notice of their dark Design,  
Stood well prepared, and ready to receive  
Their fierce Assault, and within two Hours space  
Quashed and unravelled all their long-laid Treason.  
What yet remains, lies at your Royal Pleasure;  
That is, the Prisoners.  Bar. 
If your Majesty pleases to depute me for that Business, I have a Compendious way to deal with them.  K. 
Yours be the care of that, Barbarossa.  Bar. 
Now if I should have a queasy fit come upon me, and be Merciful, it would vex me hearty.  Ph. 
Yes, thou wilt take as much pity of their Cries,  
As a hungry Wolf does of the bleating Lambs.  (Aside.) 
Dread Sovereign,  
May all your Enemies and Rebels perish  
As these have done, your Faithful Servant prays:  
But, Royal Sir, forgive me if I wish  
Your Majesty were something more acquainted  
With the firm Loyalty and Principles  
Of all your Christians in general;  
As they in number far exceed your Pagans,  
So 'tis in Wealth the Sinews of all Power.  K. 
'Tis that which troubles me, but I shall Level  
And crop that monstrous growth they so rely on:  
Let them now flatter their rebellious hopes,  
And find some other Monumora to set up,  
For This they may give over:  
I'll try how far my high Prerogative  
Dare be disputed by a cropsick Crowd;  
I'll break the Curb of haughty Sanhedrim's,  
Who with audacious Arrogance would plead  
And argue my just Favour to my Friends:  
No, Philanax, it shall be so no more;  
I'll set oppressed Virtue free.  
And raise the Clouded Glory of my Pagans.  
Their Loyalty to me is well assured:  
Nay, I have tried it in the worst of times,  
And I might well be called Ungenerous,  
If for some dull Formalities of Law,  
I should expose to want or to disgrace  
My Faithfullest Subjects, and my chiefest Friends.  Enter Messenger. Mess. 
Great Sir, your Noble General sends to tell,  
And to Congratulate your Majesty,  
For Monumora's taken.  Bar. 
Is he taken?  [in Amaz. M. 
Taken, and lurking in a poor Disguise.  K. 
I wish he had rather fallen in the Field.  
But since 'tis so, Justice must have its course.  Bar. 
Nay, if I had a stock of Pity now, I don't know but I might spare him a little; but hang it, he had better die, than Cullidada, and the Kingdom should lose a good Chancellor.  (Ex. Mess. Pie. 
Great Sir, from this long Series of Success,  
We find our Holy Prophet favour us.  
From hence I humbly move, he will exact  
All the most suitable Returns of Zeal.  
He has through dark and untrod ways of Danger  
Conveyed you safely to the Imperial Throne,  
Now by a great Deliverance from your Rebels,  
Who like a swelling Torrent had broke lose:  
And but for this restraining Providence,  
Had overflown and ruined your whole Kingdom.  
Your proud insulting Enemy he has curbed;  
An Enemy indeed, who dared to despise  
Even our most Holy Faith and You.  
Now, Royal Sir, 'tis left to you to improve  
These mighty Benefits he has bestowed:  
'Tis now he justly will exact performance  
Of your long Promised Mord, to extirpate  
The Christian Interest out of Hungary.  Bar. 
Nay, now is the Time, your Army's staunch and strong,  
And your Pretences good to keep them up.  
And since you have Power and Will, what can you doubt?  Pie. 
But above all, remember Monumora,  
He must be loped.  Phil. 
Great Sir, if Mercy can,  
Without a hazard to the State or You,  
Be shown,  
'Twill be a Godlike second Conquest o'er him,  
To let him by your Royal Bounty Live.  Pie. 
Rivals in Empires never can be spared  
Without the general hazard of the Nation.  Bar. 
Oh! Sir, 'tis most convenient he should die.  
'Slife I would not undergo such another Fright as he  
Put me in for a Million of Monumora's.  (Aside. K. 
We shall debate these weighty Matters further,  
But 'tis our Royal Pleasure to depute  
Our Trusty Barbarossa to go down,  
And fix the Country in its due Obedience.  
Examples may be made as you think fit.  Bar. 
Oh! my Discretion knows to limit those.  (Exeunt Omnes.  

SCENE. II.  The Queen 's Bedchamber. The Scene draws, and discovers the Queen and Dadamore, rising from the Bed. Qu. 
Come, prithee leave this dull Formality;  
I am Hautefelia still to Dadamore;  
Canst thou yet doubt or wish for greater Proofs?  
Come tell me, how dost like my last Contrivance?  Dad. 
Fortune has been a Niggard to thy Merit,  
And made but poor returns to thy Endeavours.  
Transcendent Wit! and depth of Policy!  
Why pour Hungarian Politicians will be forced to borrow of you;  
Thou art Invention in the Abstract!  Qu. 
Let your Grave Philosophers keep a pother about their Entities and Quiddities, one flight of a Woman's Fancy would ruin the nicest of their Distinctions.  Dad. 
And what's not mean Ornament to your Achievements, to have Success like a Lackey, still keeping pace with you; so that you no sooner grow big with a Project, but she like a Mid-wise, stands ready to deliver you.  Qu. 
Let their Christian Sanhedrims now poor upon their Fear and Jealousies, I think I have sitted them with a Bill of Exclusion. O! how my hopes do antedate the tedious Months. Well, this is a Revenge worthy myself, to satisfy my Love, my Ambition, and my Interest at once: Why, it will make the Musti, and whole Conclave blush to see themselves so much outdone: And then my Lovely Dadamore, 'twill be no mean or trifling Pleasure to thee, to have, perhaps, a long Successive Race of Pagan Kings, sprung from thy very Loins; beside, the expectance of a vast Reward from our most Holy Prophet, for thy care thus to improve his People's Interest.  Dad. 
But, Madam, grant (for we'll suppose the worst) that this should fail,  Qu. 
It is impossible, did not our Holy Virgin, the Great Loretto, promise me Success; hear the Words of the Oracle:  
By thy Industrious Zeal and Prayers I'm won,  
To grant and promise thou shalt have a Son;  
Italian Strength, or  Policy,  
Shall help to enlarge thy great Posterity.  
'Tis ordered he must share a double Fate;  
A Peasant Born, a Prince Regenerate.  Dad. 
Why, 'tis a sort of Riddle.  Qu. 
Oh! your Oracles always speak in that manner, but the Key to explain it was sent with this: I have the sense of it at my Finger's ends. In short, my Dear Dadamore, the Secret is this, that if the Envious Stars Conspire to render our Embraces fruitless, we must have recourse to the other extreme: Time presses hard, and we may be sure to have the Curse of our Prophet, if for want of an Heir, we should let the Inheritance of Mother-Church fall to Strangers.  Queen is going. Ded. 
This is an admirable Fetch: Well,  
For Wit, Religion, Honesty, let no Man  
Hereafter vainiy think to vie with Woman.  Aside. Exeunt Qu. Dad.  

SCENE III. Alba Regalis.  Enter Remarquo, Pietro. Pie. 
Well, Remarquo, who is the Christians King now?  Rem. 
Pietro.  Pie. 
Ha', ha', how do you make that out Remarquo?  Rem. 
Why the Queen Governs the King, and Pietro Rules the Queen, so in effect Pietro is King.  Pie. 
I done't like your Jest.  Rem. 
I done't like your Earnest.  Pie. 
Thou talkest as big as if thou hadst another Monumora at thy back.  Rem. 
If I have, you'll not stay to look him in the Face: I have one in store yet, for your Confessor-ship. He may raise the Price of Hemp as much as Barbarossa,  Aside. Pie. 
Come, prithee be Civil Remarquo, and let's talk of the News. You were at Monumora's Execution; how did he behave himself?  Rem. 
As an Honest Man would do amongst a Company of Knaves; what he thought fit to say, he knew would not be suffered; and what they would have him, he scorned; and there's and End of his Speech: Your Worship will make a longer perhaps, when your turn comes.  Aside. Pie. 
Well, Remarquo, I pity him; but the Cause, Remarquo, the Cause must go forward.  (Exit Pie.) Rem. 
If the Cause (as he calls it) and his Worship had been Hanged Twenty Years ago, I would have been at the trouble of Pitying him too: Pity quoth he? Poor Hungary will never be happy till he is so Pitied.  Exit Rem.  

SCENE iv Aceldama in the West.  [The Scene opens, and discovers Barbarossa sitting in Judgement; on each side stands Officers with Axes, Halters, burning Irons, Racks, Whips, etc. One side of the Stage is Crowded up with Prisoners, which by a Guard are surrounded: The Crier makes Proclamation of Silence, and then the Court proceeds to the Trials: Dispenso, Warranto, all the while are shuffling up and down to get Bribes of the Prisoners, and proffering the Sale of Pardons. After the Indictments against several Read, the Clerk bids the Crier call the King's Evidence, Timoroso, Trecheronto, Gripe, who appearing, Barbarossa gins.] Bar. 
Here you Mr. Timorosa, you look like an Honest Man: Come, do you know these Men at the Bar? Look on them.  Tim. 
Yes, my Lord, I should know them, but my Memory is bad, I have forgot them.  Bar. 
Speak out Man, thou art afraid, Didst not thou see those Fellows here Armed, and Engaging like Sturdy Rebels in the Duke of Monumora's Army, against our Sovereign Lord Cullida?  Tim. 
O Lord, Sir, I was never in an Engagement myself, but I saw those Men all; and some of them with brown Bills, Scythes, and Hatchets.  Bar. 
You saw them among the Rebels?  Tim. 
My Lord, I dont know Rebels from other Folk.  Bar. 
Ha!  He frowns and storms at him. Tim. 
But the Truth on't is, they have the very Looks of Rebels  (in a fearful tone.) Bar. 
Thou hast the Look of a Hobby-Horse. Set up the next there.  First Prisoner. 
My Lord, perhaps he might see me with a Bill on my Shoulder; I was going to the Field about my business.  Bar. 
You were going to the Field to Blow with your Bill: Yes, you went to Sow Rebellion, and you'll Reap Halters: This is your Christian Religion, as you call it! Well, you'll not scruple to Die Martyrs for it. Come you Mr. Treacheronto, what can you tell us of these Men?  Tre. 
My Lord, I saw them every one hacking and hewing as if Old- Nick was in 'em.  Second Pris. 
Where was you when you saw us?  Tre. 
Where was I? why, where I saw you, I warrant you: Nay, if you are for ask hard Questions, I'll fit you: My Lord, I saw that Man as fierce as a Dragon, I'll warrant he killed Fourteen or Fifteen himself.  Here Dispen. and War. come close aside the Prisoners, and whisper them. Bar. 
What Murder and Rebellion! Come Sir, for your part you have said enough.  Enter Remarquo. Dis. 
What Estate has this Gentleman, Sir?  to one of the Pris. Pris. 
Near Four Hundred per Annum.  War. 
A fair Estate, 'tis pity it should be all lost to himself and Family.  Dis. 
Sir, the Judge is my very good Friend, and I pity your Condition, I shall do my endeavours for you.  War. 
Nay, Sir, he carries a great stroke with him, and you know Life is sweet, a Body would give ANY THING for ones Life.  Remarquo makes up and listens. Pris. 
Woe is me, Sir, you shall Command all I have, so you will but save my Life.  Dis. 
Alack Sir, I don't value five hundred pounds, 'tis pure Charity that I stir in it.  Rem. 
Who in the Name of Goodness have we here?  (Aside.) 
O my Conscience, the Musti's Bloodhounds, and Barbarossa's Purse-Bearers, the two Law-Butchers that comes every Sessions and Assize, and grope the Prisoners, as Graziers do their Cattle, to see if they be Fat, and well to pass; then if there's hopes of a handsome Greasing, they presently give their Master the hint, who extends his Mercy, as Rooking Gamesters at first lose their Money, only to draw you in for a deeper stake: But hold, I'll mark the Proceeding.  Disp. 
But, Sir, the Truth on't is (speaking to the Prisoner) my Lord's Servants will expect something considerably.  Pris. 
Sir, the Five Hundred Pounds shall be ready in two Hours.  Bar. 
Well, you see Gentlemen, the Evidence is plain against you, what have you more to say? What do they say Dispenso?  Rem. 
So there's the watch Word.  Aside. Disp. 
My Lord, there is Mr. Wealthy and his Kinsman, wholly throw themselves upon the King's Mercy, I believe they have been deluded.  Rem. 
Ay, in my Conscience, if the Devil had been in their places, and you too to have dealt with him, he had been at a plaguy nonplus, if not outdone, in his own Masterpiece of Cheating, Lying, Forgery, etc.  Bar. 
Well then, Gentlemen of the Jury, you have heard the full Evidence against the Prisoners, for the two black Crimes of Murder and Rebellion; the time will not admit of any long Discourse, we have other Business of the same Nature; only this I must tell you, they are plainly Guilty by the Law, and you cannot but bring them in so.  Fifth Pris. 
My Lord, I have not spoke one Word for myself.  Bar. 
Oh! Sir, you need not say much, you have done more than you'll be able to answer while you live. What say you, Gentlemen of the King's Evidence, was not that Fellow amongst them?  Gripe. 
Nay, my Lord, I must needs say, I know his Face very well. Yes, yes, he was one, a mere Rebel he. Now, I think on't he's a Creditor of mine.  Aside. Pris. 
My Lord, I desire Justice, that Fellow owes me a hundred Pound, and thinks to come out of my Debt by falsely Accusing me. Oh! Villain.  Gripe. 
Do you hear, my Lord, would any but a Rebel Abuse the King's Evidence thus?  Bar. 
Come, Gentlemen of the Jury; I find they have nothing material to offer, so go out.  Ex. Jury. Rem. 
Was there ever seen such a Monstrous Dispenser of Justice, that would rather throw away the Lives of so many poor Christians without a hearing, than stay half an hour for his Dinner? Why, the Villain was certainly suckled with Blood; he does even thirst after it: With what Ridicule and Buffonery he used the poor Wretches! Not the half of 'em were suffered to speak a word for their Lives.  Enter Jury. Cryer. 
Make way for the Jury there.  After the usual Questions the Clerk says. Cl. 
How say you, is John Littlehope, etc. Guilty of the Murder and Treason for which they stand Indicted, or not Guilty?  Jury. 
Guilty.  Cl. 
Goaler, look to your Prisoners.  Bar. 
Well, Gentlemen, you that are Prisoners there, and by the Law stand Convicted; as your Crimes have been of the blackest nature, so that you cannot in reason expect much Favour; so I shall proceed to give Sentence of Death according to Law.  After which the Court breaks up, and Exeunt Omnes.  
The End of the Third ACT.   

ACT IU.  

SCENE I.  After a Procession of Mahometan Priests and Choristers, followed by the Queen and Ladies, by way of thanksgiving for the Queens supposed being with Child; Enter Philanax, Remarquo, Cellia the Queen's Midwife. Phil. 
WIth Child, Man? 'Tis a Miracle!  Rem. 
How! a Miracle! what, for a brisk Lady not yet thirty to be with Child? Why, prithee, there's not one in Fifty of the Sex but has a Colt's tooth in her Head at Threescore; tho' by the by (considering all things) I should as soon have suspected my Grandmother as her Majesty upon that score.  (Aside.) Cel. 
Oh dear, Sir Philanax, the Queen is full of Children, and what is more, I dare affirm, she is going with a Prince, or I am very much mistaken in the Stars.  Rem. 
Why, there's the thing? These Pagans are the shrewdest Astrologers, they Calculate every thing to an hairs breadth; they have an Almanac fitted for every Meridian, and seldom fail in a Tittle of their Predictions.  (Aside) 
But, pray Madam, how long is she gone?  Cel. 
I am not acquainted with Particulars, but 'tis a blessing obtained from the Holy Virgin of Loretto.  Rem. 
I should have thought an Address from her Majesty, to some Holy broad-backed Brother would have better befitted her Desires and Circumstances.  (Aside) 
But what Applications did the Virgin prescribe?  Cel. 
Oh! she sent her a Smock of a Generative Faculty, I'll warrant ye we shall never want a Prince now.  Ph. 
Nay, nay, now I remember, Madam, the Receipt was sound out near an hundred years ago.  Rem. 
Yes, yes, it has lain dormant among the Pagan Relics ever since Hantefelia the First, and now for the good of the Kingdom, and Advantage of Holy Mother Church, 'tis brushed up anew; but this won't do.  (Aside) 
Well, Madam, Increase of the Royal Issue is a great Blessing.  Cel. 
Oh! we shall see glorious Times in Hungary, Remarquo, These puling Christians make such a strange pother about Liberty and Property, and I know not what, that they spoil all the good Intentions of the King and Queen. Those Patients can never expect to be well Cured, that won't follow the Advice of their Physicians.  Ph. 
Nay, Madam, I must needs confess we are in a lamentable Condition; but by the way, we should be as little beholding to her for her way of Cure, as I should be to be knocked o'th' head by the way of putting me out of pain, when yet there was pregnant hopes of my Recovery.  Aside. Cel. 
Well, Sir Philanax, the Queen's Delivery will put an end to, and satisfy all our Fears and Jealousies.  Exit Cel. Ph. 
Spoke like an Oracle efaith!  Rem. 
Yes, yes, the Queen's Midwife, you must know, speaks with abundance of foreknowledge. Satisfy their Fears and Jealousies, said she? Yes, her Majesty's Delivery (as they call it) will satisfy all Parties; the Pagans, because they hope to bring their old Plot of a Shame Prince to perfection; and the Christians, no doubt, will be satisfied of the Cheat. Well, I shall live, I hope, to see her Majesty and this Kingdom fitted with a Delivery. I believe, indeed, her Majesty has made as curious a search, and taken as much bodily Pains for an Heir, as ever Chemist did for the Philosopher's Stone: But, alas! a Body might as soon extract Gold out of a Flint, as hope for a Child from such known depraved and sickly Constitutions; I hear by Mazato, indeed, that the Count and her Majesty have made many Experiments about it, but can't neck it; so now they have resolved to trump up the old Game, and play the Tune of her Majesty's Name sake of Pious Memory, Well, I'll stick as close to her as the Shadow to the Substance, he shall never make use of a Pot, but I, like a Physician, will be casting her Water; I'll trace her to her very Bed, and observe every part of her; not the Promises of the King, nor the Threats of herself, shall be able to delude or frighten me. No, I love my King as my Father, but would not make him my Idol, and Adore him; I honour him as my King, but will not with base Flattery blow him up to a Tyrant; I will obey him as a Dispenser of, but not with Justice, and above all, I'll prefer the safety and honour of my Country in general, before the private Lusts, and unlawful wicked Designs of any Prince in Christendom. And this, Sir Philanax, is or aught to be the firm Resolution of every honest Hungarian.  Ph. 
And may the Plague of Pagan Tyranny light on him that wants it.  Ex. Phil. Rem.  

SCENE. II. The Palace of St. Jaques. The Queen's Bedchamber.  Enter Queen, Mazato, Sycophante, Midwife, Nurse, etc. at one door: Remarquo privately slips in at another, and hushes himself up at a corner of the Hang. Mid. 
Your Majesty will consider, I presume, that this being a Business of vast moment, it is to be managed with all the nicety imaginable, the least slip here, like the taking out the pin of a Watch, sets the whole Work out of Order; and, what is amiss here, is not like to be ever recovered.  Q. 
I know all this, Cellia, and my own strong Inclination, as well as former real experience, should, I fancy, put me out of all fear of failing.  Maz. 
Madam, you cannot be too perfect, you'll have abundance of Eyes & Ears about you; therefore my humble Advice is, That your Majesty would not think it a trouble to practite it well before it comes to the Test.  Q. 
Let's see then Cellia, what must we do?  Here the Midwife opens a Bag and pulls out her Implements necessary for the better Delivery of Women of Quality. Remarquo Peeps. Rem. 
So, so, the Play is composed and distributed, and now they are come to rehearse their Parts.  Aside. Syc. 
Oh dear Cellia, we shall have no use of them, 'twill be too public for us, it must be all done in Bed.  Rem. 
Yes, I'll warrant you, with the Curtains close drawn, and none but your Worships to fumble about her Queenship, and then if we sail of a Sturdy Boy, let Old-Nick fail you.  Aside. Qu. 
That's the up shot of all, but there are praeliminaries to be considered.  Cell. 
Yes, in the first place Your Majesty will remember every Morning you are to be taken with a small fit of Hawking and Reaching, and now and then a Long-spit or two.  Syc. 
Oh Madam, I remember a Qualm on the Stomach now and then is a very deluding thing (with the Men especially) and passes for a certain sign of a growing Belly.  Mid. 
I remember how I bubbled a young Spark so once, who was fond of the conceit of having got me with Child, and when I had hooked in some Presents of considerable value, I feigned a Miscarriage, which cost him a few Tears, and me a sound Laughing, and there was an End of my Qualms; yes, yes, Qualms will go a great way.  Rem. 
Now if her Majesty wanted a stock of Hypocrisy, etc. She is got into good Company, and might be easily furnished: Oh the unsearchable Impudence of some Women!  Aside. Mid. 
In the next place, when your Majesty would admit of much Company, you must yield to a Minute's Torture of being very straight Laced, which will be apt for the present to make you ready to Faint, which will add much to the Credit of your being with Child,  Maz. 
That's a piece of Skill I was unacquainted with till now, Madam Cellia.  Mid. 
From the quickening of the Child, proceeds Motion in the Womb, which disturbing some Fibres that go up to the Heart, causeth Palpitations, etc. and thence proceed Swooning, Faintings, Short-breathing, etc.  Ren. 
On my Conscience, I shall have a sweet Lecture of Natural Philosophy, she'll run over Aristotle's Problems presently.  Q. 
If Swound and Faintings be a Rule you prescirbe, I can easily perform it; but Mazato, and all of you, remember to loosen me presently, or I may be sick indeed.  * ⁎ * Note, That this was the constant Remedy for all the late Queen of Hungary 's Swooning Fits, during her pretened Bigness. Mid. 
Binding in the back, like one that is overburthened, is so natural a consequence of a Great Belly, that Your Majesty will not, I believe, need Instructions concerning it.  Rem. 
Well, now from a Mothodical Digestion of these weighty Instructions, a body might make a shift to pick up a Moderate Maintenance; why, I shall be a perfect Midwife; there's many a Man has set up his Trade, that has not Learned half so much on't, as I have of this.  (Aside.) Mid. 
Now Madam, we must be bold with your Majesty's Belly, for that is, as it were, the Primum Mobile of our Intrigue, and must be ordered with abundance of Nicety.  (The Midwife and Ladies come up close to the Queen, and feel and grope about the Queen's Belly, and then lift up her Petticoats. Rem. 
Udsbud, what are they going to do now? (Remarquo peeps, he shrugs and scratches. Oh lau! Treason, Treason! 'Dsflesh, if I should be caught here now, I should be hanged as round as a hoop, for committing Treason against her Majesty's Belly; well, I don't care, I'll carry a good Conscience with me, I will not see. (Aside.)  (He holds his hands before his Face, and peeps through his fingers. Mid. 
Your Majesty must have it heightened by degrees, it must carry a Simimilitude of a Natural Swelling.  Rem. 
This is an odd way of getting a Son, an Heir, though: (Here they place a small Cushion under her . What, a few Rags pinned together, must personate the Prince, and we shall have some neighbouring Monarches, sent to, and Solicited to stand Godfathers' to a Piss-burnt Cushion: Well, they may get what Infant they please to complete the Comedy; but I'll engage he shall stand to his Pedigree, and never be any thing in Hungary, but King of his Mother's Clouts. (Aside.  Qu. 
All these are but trifles, Sycophant, my own Ingenuity will undertake these; but the very Critical Minute, Celia, that's the grand Question, these Plaguy Christians are so mistrustful, they'll not take one's word for any thing.  Rem. 
'Tis very hard, considering her Majesty deals so justly by them.  (Aside. Mid. 
Madam, young Pupils must of necessity submit to the experience and Doctrine of their Elders; this is not the first business of this nature that I have managed, and with your Majesty's Patience, I'll draw you a Scheme of all we are to do, in a moment.  Qu. 
Prithee Celia, I have Inclination and knowledge, but my Modesty will be at a stand.  Rem. 
O Lau! O Lau! Modesty, said she? She has been at the Court of Hungary these ten years, where Whoring, Lying, etc. have been improved at the rate of Fifty per Cent, and now she pretends to boggle at a little. Dissembling: Yes, yes, I have heard Count Dadamore and her Queenship, Con over Lectures of Modesty, till they sweat again.  (Aside.) 
Oh! She's a very Zealot in Modesty, when she lights of an industrious Tutor.  (Aside. Qu. 
However, Cellia considering the necessity, I'll overrun all difficulties.  Rem. 
Her Highness is very positive; She and her Jehusites have made it their business to wrangle us out of our Senses, if they could; and the King has not left us the disposal even of one Thought, for he tells us we are to give an implicit Obedience without Reserve, so that if all other means fail, for aught we know, we may have the Daughter of an Elephant trumped up with a Declaration of Hic est filius meus, and who dare dispute or gain say it?  (Aside. Cel. 
Well then, Madam, in the first place, suppose yourself handsomely laid in Bed, between nine and ten in the Morning, and no Company but your own Trusty Friends, the Christians safe at their Devotion (the Prelates especially must be absent.)  Qu. 
Oh! Foh, if I had a mind to save Charges, I'd take no other Physic than the sight of a Christian Prelate. Oh! what a strange working it has caused in my Stomach, the very name of them is a Vomit.  (She spits. Cel. 
Nor indeed must any other of them come within sight of you, they'll make such a noise with impertinent Questions, as may spoil your Milk, as you know Thunder does Ale.  Rem. 
There's some hopes of this, Lady Midwife; her Memory I see is short, and she may be out in her Lesson, she's afraid of spoiling her Milk, when they had agreed before, she could have none; but 'tis the nature of some people to tell a lie so often, that at last they persuade themselves 'tis true.  (Aside. Qu. 
Alack! You may be sure Cullidada will take care to keep them at the farther part of the Room, where you know out of common complaisance, they must harangue him upon his Unexpected Happiness.  Rem. 
Of having a Child beyond all possibility. (Aside.  〈◊〉 
You are in the right on't, Madam; then for two or three faint Cries (such as I gave when I made my Husband believe he was tearing my Maidenhead to pieces, and a little bustling about the , and out comes the Young Perkin, as like the Father as if he were spit out of his Mouth.  Qu. 
But as to the cleanly conveying him in; we forgot that, Celia.  Cel. 
That I'll show you in a moment.  (She goes to one corner of the Stage, and brings a large warming Pan lined with Velvet. 
Now Madam, just before the critical minute, you call of course to have the bed warmed, then in comes me, Madam Midwife, with this Warming-pan, mark you me, with young Perkin as sung in it as a drowned Toast in the bottom of a Tankard; then while you are undressing and ready to pop in, whip, I straight disembogue and leave your Majesty the hopeful Mother of a lusty Son and Heir.  Rem. 
So, so, this is an excellent way to hinder collateral descents: Why, who would be so foolish to pine for an Heir, when every Midwife in Town can so easily supply them?  [aside. Qu. 
Why, this Cellia is an Artist, Ladies: Well, thou hast satisfied me to a miracle: I long for the good hour. Oh, I have it now at my finger's ends.  
Pagans rejoice, our Mufti does agree,  
This Year should be to us a Jubilee,  [Exit Qu. cum suis, manet Rem. Rem. 
Pagans beware, for we shall take occasion,  
To tax your works of Supererogation.  
We scorn your Precedents, and ne'er can own  
Such spurious Sons, as fill our Neighbouring Throne;  
Spite of your frauds we shall be shortly free  
From Tyrant Kings, and Pagan Slavery.  [Exit Rem.  
Finis Act. 4ti.   

ACT. V.  

Scene I.  The Scene opens and discovers Cullidada alone, leaning pensively on a Table, and endeavouring to raise himself; he is in a moment environed with a great Company of Ghosts, which rise out of the Ground, and point severally at him, shaking their Heads at one another. The first is that of the Sieur Godferus, sometime one of the Tribunes of the People of Hungary, his Head seems to dangle from one side to the other, as if his Neck were broken, and has his own Sword sticking through him as he nods to the opposite Ghost, which is that of Columona, who holds; out to the King the end of a Rope, which is fastened about his Neck. The next is Monsieur Stephano de la College, with a Halter about his Neck. The next is the Count de Esseycke, who points to his Throat, which is cut so deep, that his Head seems ready to fall off. The next are the Lord Rossellio, and the Sieur le Sydeny, who have two Golden Rings about their Necks, by which their Heads seem to be fastened to their Bodies. The next is the Ghost of the Sieur del Aramstrough, with an Halter about his Neck, and an Axe in his hand. The next is the Burgomaster Coronise, with an Halter in his hand. In the midst of all is the Ghost of the Prince Philodemy, Duke of Monumora, who has also a Golden Ring round his Neck, and a Crown seems to hang over him some small distance from his Head. After two or three horrid Flashes of Lightning and Claps of Thunder, the Ghost of Godferus speaks: Ghost of Godf. 
SEE, Cruel Prince, thy Trade of Cruelty,  
Which was first practised and begun on me:  The Ghost points round to the rest. 
Love to my Country, and the Kingdom's Peace,  
(Which sure deserves reward, at least should please,)  
Made me, Oh! Strange Ingratitude! incur  
Thy Cruel Rage—  
'Tis true, with zealous Industry I ran  
And traced the bloody Steps of thy Mysterious Babylon:  
There was my Crime; And here my Punishment:  
Nor is thine far behind. Repent, Repent;  [Pointing to his Neck. 
Thy Fate's determined, and the Time draws on:  
Thy Crown (by Fratricide obtained) is gone;  
Thy Life's inglorious, troublesome and short,  
To Friend's a Burden, to thy Foes a Sport.  Ghost of Col. 
Ah! my ungrateful Master, are you here?  
Your cheated Secretary does appear,  
Partly to chide your black Ingratitude,  
That could so easily betray my Blood;  
But chief to inform you, you mistake,  
If for a Saint you Columena take.  
Believe me, Sir, (and Spirits seldom lie)  
You are yourself as much a Saint as I.  
Ah, much more likely 'tis, you may be one,  
Since Providence permits your Glass to run,  
And gives you time to think, and mend your Errors;  
(For after Death you cannot plead Demurrers.)  
Ah! Think in time then, and repent your Evil,  
Or else by Mahomet, you'll be a Devil.  
Oh! Roguey Priests! How often they repeatrd;  
If I'd conceal, how well I should be treated?  
If you'll believe them, you'll like me be cheated.  Ghost of Step. Col. 
By perjured Tongues, suborned and bribed by thee,  
I fell the Victim of thy Cruelty,  
No Age, nor Sex, nor Quality was free  
From the base Insults of thy Tyranny.  
Through all Degrees of Wickedness thou'st gone,  
Through all the murdering Arts of cursed Babylon:  
Nor Prince, nor Peasant, Lords nor Commons stood  
Free from thy cruel Thirst of shedding Blood.  
Thy Friends scarce pity thee, thy Foes despise;  
And Heaven, who sees the Justice of our Cries,  
Has cursed thee—  
Thy Fate's determined in the Eternal Roll,  
Thou shalt with Speed and Ignominy fall:  
All that thy cruel Subtlety has done,  
Shall in the compass of one short lived Sun,  
Be lost, unravelled, spurned and trod upon.  Ghost of Ess. 
Unhappy Prince! by what blind Fury led,  
Dost thou delight these Paths of Blood to tread?  
Does thy insatiate Moloch still require  
More of thy Sons to pass the fatal Fire?  
Does thy strange Principles and Zeal o'erthrow  
All ties of Blood, of Virtue, and of Law?  
Will not the Father, King, nor Friend control  
The wild Excesses of thy boundless Soul?  
Ah! Prince look back, see what a Multitude  [The King looks back affrighted. 
Of pale-faced threatening Ghosts about thee crowd,  
All earnest Suppliants at th' Heavenly Throne  
For Vengeance on thy Guilty Head alone;  
And 've obtained; thy Fate is written there,  
And soon thou'lt find it executed here.  Ghost of Rossel. 
Pity, a Stranger to thy Savage Soul,  
Does yet my just Resentments so control,  
That at the Throne of Grace I am become  
A Suppliant to reverse thy fearful Doom.  
But oh! thy unrelenting Soul denies  
Even Pity to thyself, nay, and defies,  
Like hardened Rebels, all just Terms of Peace;  
Thou wouldst not bid one Tear for thy Eternal Ease.  
Hear therefore what the Fates have now ordained,  
Thy Crown is lost, thy Fame for ever stained:  
A Prince for Godlike Qualities renowned  
Shall raise the Grovelling Kingdom from the Ground  
And stop the Torrent of its bleeding Wounds,  
In base Disguise thou shalt obscurely fly  
Be made the sport of every common Eye,  
And dwindle a short tedious Life in Misery.  As soon as the Ghost of Lord Rosselio has done speaking, all the rest of the Ghosts clap their hands aloud, and pointing and laughing at Cullydada, they dance round him: Only the Ghost of Monumora seems pensive, and shakes his head in a lamenting manner, which the King takes much notice of; and in a trembling manner ventures to come a little towards him, and speaks: King. 
By that Divine and Glorious Form, I guess  
If Ghosts may carry Names, thou art Monumora,  
The Valiant Son of my most Royal Brother.  [The Ghost nods in token of assent. 
Thou seem'st to carry on that solid Brow  
More of calm Sorrow than of just Revenge:  
Good Heavens! He seems to weep! his shaking Head  
Seems to lament the Misery that waits me.  
Speak, Holy Shade, canst thou forgive the Wrongs  
Which cruel Policy of State, and sordid Fear,  
Prompted by bloody Importunites,  
Of an imperious Wife, and Crafty Priest,  
Made me commit?  Ghost. 
Repent, and I forgive.  K. [Sighs and groans heavily] 
This is the first time my hardened Heart  
e'er melted with Remorse: Oh! the sharp Sting  
Of a Relenting Guilty Conscience!  
Dear Shade, accept my just unfeigned Sorrow  
(The only Recompense I now can make)  
Thy undeserved goodness has o'ercome me,  
And I am now all over Penitence:  
Oh! that I could reverse the Book of Fate,  
And reinstate thee on the Earth again;  
Methinks 'twould ease me of a Load of Sin,  
If to my troubled Conscience I could plead  
Not Guilty of the Death of Monumora  Ghost. 
Repent, and I forgive.  [He is going.] K. 
Stay, Sacred Shade, and since thy Goodness can  
With so much ease forgive; let me prevail  
From thy Divine Intelligence, to learn  
The utmost of that Fate that threatens me.  The Ghost is just going to speak, and the Cock Crows, at which they start, and shaking their Heads at Cullydada, they Vanish. Enter Messenger. Mess. 
Sir, I was hither from the Lowlands sent  
With Letters to your Sacred Majesty.  [He gives the Letters, and the K. Reads, he starts and stamps. K. 
Five Hundred Sail! and Forty Thousand Men!  
And ready just to Sail: Did you see any?  Mess. 
'Tis too true, my Liege, 'twas whispered there,  
They'd Sail the Morning tide.  K. 
And is it certain  
That they design to Invade our Kingdom here?  Mess. 
At first the Rumours were so various,  
We could not fix on any Certainty;  
But 'tis no longer now a Secret made,  
That they design their Course for Hungary.  [Exit Mess. K. [muses] 
This unexpected Storm does more confound me,  
Than all the threatening Dangers of my Life.  
Five Hundred Sail of Ships! 'tis wonderful,  
Manned, Victualled, Fixed, and ready to Hoist Sail,  
And all with such profound strange Privacy!  
It seems to carry fatal Omens with it,  
Since Providence already seems to fide with them:  
Sure my Prophetic Ghosts could never mean  
To spur my eager Fate so quickly on:  
And I designed, if time had been allowed,  
T' have taken all effectual humane means  
To baffle their pretended Fate—  
If Shoals of  Friends and bold Hiberians  
Can have performed what I so long designed,  
They should have swarmed in all their Christian Hives,  
And turned their murmuring Hosts a grazing:  
But still I'll not despair.  
Industrious Wisdom often does prevent  
What lazy Folly thinks inevitable:  
Big swelling Clouds are by the Winds blown o'er,  
And threatening storms may dwindle into Showers.  [Exit King.  

ACT. V Scene II. The Mosque at the Palace of St. Jaques.  The Scene draws and discovers Barbarossa, Pietro, and several Pagan Priests and Jebusites in Consultation. Enter Remarquo. Rem. 
This News has struck 'em all dumb; you can see nothing at Court but a Company of moving Statues; the Christians whisper indeed, but the Pagans shake their Heads, as Physicians do when they give a Man over; and the King runs to and fro as if he were pursued by a Spirit or Goblin. I wonder where the good natured Pietro, and the Generons Barbarossa are, I have not seen them at Alba Regalis all this Evening; I'll warrant you, one is consulting the good of the Christians Souls, as the other did of their Bodies in the West, and are as calm in their Consciences as the meek suffering Martyrs; and as little disturbed at the News, as a Hare at the first opening of the Kennel. Well, I'll go in and visit some of their Active Brethren, who at this time now are wonderful busy in forging false Reports, to scatter amongst the People. Haddit who have we yonder? Oh there's  [He is going forward.] 
the Jebusites private Cabal; now they are preparing business to be offered in Council; a Company of true State-Tinkers, who under the pretence of mending one Fault, make twenty. Well, I must be incognito; I'll stand up here and listen, I may edify upon it perhaps.  Pie. 
We have no time, Gentlemen, to make long Speeches: let us each offer our Sentiments, and from thence we'll pick out matter for the fittest Proposals to be made to Cullydada.  1 Jeb. 
What are the Heads of the Prince Lysander's Declaration?  Bar. 
I am afraid the Reverend Pietro's and mine are two of them.  Rem. 
Ay, And I hope he'll have better hold of them, that in his Declaration. [aside.  2 Jeb. 
Does our Danger proceed from the Person of the Prince?  Pie. 
Oh! He's the Primum Mobile of the Faction.  2 Jeb. 
Why then can we want a Zealous Brother, that will venture to give him a gentle touch under the Fifth Rib? 'Tis the way of the Pagans, and according to the Instructions of Mother-Church.  Pie. 
I confess 'tis lawful, but not at this time seasonable; we must use Lenitives yet a while; we may have a time yet.  Rem. 
Yes, yes; I may see them all take their turns in good time. [aside.  Bar. 
The Plaguy Christian Nobles advise the King forthwith to call the Sanhedrim.  [They all start at the Word. Rem. 
Oh! how they wince at the very name of it? [aside.  Omnes. 
Vdsbud, a Sanhedrim! Why, the very thought of one's as dreadful as the sight of a Death's Head, and there's a Memento mori to us included in the very Words.  Pie. 
Alack, my Breath smells of Hemp ever since you mentioned it: Why, prithee what was our business here for these many long years, but to stave off Sanhedrims, unless now and then to let them come together for matter of Form, and to fill the King's Coffers, which we always made sure to employ against themselves.  Bar. 
Nay, I had as lief take a Lion by the Paw, as look a House of Commons in the Face, they have such a plaguy way of making a Man dancing the Somerset before 'em, and turning him inside outward: I should not be myself again while I lived.  Rem. 
Nay, o'my Conscience, there must be a great dearth of Halters, here, if you lived long after. aside  Jeb. 
But how do the People behave themselves?  Rem. 
Ay, there's the sting. aside  Pie. 
Why to be plain, As Malefactors at the Gallows, when they. see a Reprieve come, an unusual blithness in the face of the better sortst and an insulting boldness in the Rabble: I walked the Streets last Night in Disguise, on purpose to hear their Sentiments, where you should see at every other Door private Caballers and public Mutineers: At one place they stopped me, and made me Drink Confusion to Pietro, and his Holy Colleague the Chancellor: at another I saw a company of Boys were busy in twisting of Wattles I asked what they were for? They presently returned, to hang the jebusites together, and make a present of them to the Prince Lisander: Now this is our Distemper, Brother Barbarossa, what do you prescribe?  Bar. 
Why, I am at a stand; I have a plaguy Crick in my Neck of a sudden, and that's very ominous. Oh, that I had but two or three State Days in the West again! Oh, 'twould be an infallible remedy.  R. 
Nay, your Worship need not doubt of making one Holiday before you die yet. aside.  Enter Messenger. Mess. 
My Lord the King sends for you both with all speed.  Bar. 
What's the News prithee?  Mess. 
The Prince Lysander is landed in the West with a formidable Army, and the Country pour in like Hail to him; some of the King's Troops have already entirely joined him, and all the people declare unanimously for him.  B. 
Oh poor Chancellor!  P. 
Ah-poor Pietro!  They run off, clapping and wring their Hands.  

Scene III. Alba Regalis.  Enter Queen tearing her Hair, and wring her Hands, with Dadamore the Nurse with the pretended Prince; and Mazato, Sycophante, and Remarquo at a distance. Qu. 
Oh Villains! Rebels! Traitors! thus to betray their King and me. Are these their Christian Principles? Foh!  she spits. Rem. 
Why, there's the business: these ill-natured Christians. Out upon 'em, that two or three Millions of Souls should so unanimously conspire to save their ancient dear bought Laws from being subverted, their Religion from being violated, and their Throats from being Cut, when her Majesty had such a longing desire for it. Indeed it was ill manners.  Qu. 
Oh, if Barbarossa and the General had followed Pietro's advice and mine, they should not have left either Hive or Bee in that cursed West.  Rem. 
Ay, but the Soldiers are wiser now; for to save shedding of Blood, they are all gone over to one side. aside.  Dad. 
Dear Hautefelia, do not so immoderately grieve, but think thy loving Dadamore shall still supply all that envious Fortune can take from thee.  Qu. 
Dear Dadamore, I must confess thou art the prop and stay of all my hopes; but—  Enter Messenger. 
Speak; What's the News? make no preamble, be plain and short.  Mess. 
The King sends word his Army is revolted; his very Friends, Relations, all are gone, and he's returning with all speed for fear of being surprised by the Enemy.  Qu. 
Oh! Tortures, Plagues and Curses seize them: Come, come my Friends, for you must share my Fate.  Mess. 
Alack, if I should lose my Tommy now in this hurly burly!  aside: she howls. Manet Remarq. Solus. Exit Qu. cum suis Rem. 
Oh the hard Hearts of People grown in Sin!  
She's sensible of the Plague that follows her,  
But thinks not of the cause: her Coward Soul  
(Essential to the wicked) now can pine and howl  
At the apprehension of due punishment;  
But with unimitable boldness she  
Can run through all the dreadful Catalogue  
Of heinous Sins, without a doubt or scruple.  
Nay she does yet even refuse to own,  
Or to repent her Crimes against the Nation.  
Her Crown, her State, her Grandeur, are the things  
That cause her Tears and Curses; but better far  
Some watery drops from her should singly go,  
Than Streams of Blood should from the Nations flow.  Exit Rem. Enter King, Pietro, Barbarossa, Philanax, Messenger. King. 
Does he design so suddenly to come?  Mess. 
Some of his Troops will quarter here to night.  King pawses a while. 
I'll answer all by a Messenger of mine.  Exit Mess. King. 
Well my Friends, you see how Fate and Time press me? I have told you my designs, and this Night resolve to put them in execution: the Queen and Child are safe gone off; and Pietro she has left her Casket of Jewels to your care and charge.  Pie. 
I'll be her faithful Carrier: humh! the jewels to my charge! Nay, there's a little comfort then; I find I shall not go empty handed. Yes, yes, I shall take care of them. aside  King. 
It gins to grow late, we must separate: Well my good Friends, farewell; we may meet again.  Ex. K. Bar. Pie. Enter Rabble; with Links and Staves, shouting and hollowing. 1 Rab. 
Come, come, away Boy's, away; the King has slipped away, but we'll claw his Pagans off.  2 Rab. 
Ay, ay, let's pull down their Houses; they have abundance of Crosses and Beads in them: Oh I hate Crosses; there's none but Heathens love Crosses.  3 Rab. 
Ay let's pull down Count— what de call'ems house; Oh he's a devilish Pagan, there's abundance of Gold and Money there.  4 Rab. 
Nay, than it deserves to be pulled down: I'll warrant you they worship it there.  5 Rab. 
Ay, and there's Goodman Fangum, he's a Plaguy Fellow; jowe him for two Suits of  indeed, but he railed so sadly against Prince Lysander, that I have no mind to pay him.  6 Rab. 
Come, come, we will lay down our Lives for the Christian Religion, and so 'tis unreasonable these Pagans should have such a deal of Money; come, away Boy's, away.  Enter Pietro disguised, like a Tinker with a Budget at his Back. 1 Rab. 
So honest Brother, come along with us, Efack you shall have Brass enough to mend.  Pie 
Ay, Ay, come away, God bless the Christian Religion, and hang the Pagans: Omni, Amen, Amen.  2 Rab. 
Come along Old Bay, we'll make thee for ever.  Pie. 
O' my Conscience they'll make me out of my Wits, if they keep me much longer. aside.  3 Rab. 
Come old Boy, throw away that Budget; thou shalt have a purse full of Brass and Iron.  Pie 
No, hang it, I'll keep it because 'twas my Fathers: Uds-be as black as the Case appears, there's a heavenly lustre within. O my Heart aches for my Jewels.  7 Rab. 
Oh! I love this gutting of Houses dearly, my Father was brought up to the Trade.  8 Rab. 
I had a Brother lived and died in't.  9 Rab. 
Ay Tom, I remember him very well, I saw him cut down.  10 Rab. 
Away, away Boys; holloo, holloo.  They shout, and go off with Pie. Enter Guard, with Barbarossa in a tarpaulins Disguise, followed by the Rabble. Bar. 
For Heaven's sake Sirs, keep me from the Mob; and do else what you please with me.  1 Rab. 
Do you hear, the Villain abuses us, he calls us plain Mob, without an M. to it.  2 Rab. 
Ay, ay, a Rogue, he hanged my Brother in the War without ever a Letter in the whole Criss Cross Row; He would not let him speak one word or tittle for himself.  3 Rab. 
hay day! why is this the Chancellor? Why he look as if he had been at Sea.  4 Rab. 
No, he looks as if he would have been at Sea; but hang him, he was never born to be drowned.  5 Rab. 
Why here's a strange alteration; here's the Judge turned Executioner; he's like the Hangman in the West.  6 Rab. 
O the Villain, he hanged my Father for giving a handful of Hay to one of the Lord of Monumora's Horsemen: Oh his tear him to pieces: Guard stand off there.  Exeunt omnes  

Scene IU. The Palace of St. Jaques.  Enter Prince Lyfander, attended with the Nobility and Gentry of Hungary, and Guards in a magnificent manner, with Drums beating, Trumpet's sounding, Colours flying, the People shouting and the Guns round the great Tower firing; at which the Stars clear up, the Sun shines, and all the enchanted Pagan Mosques Priests, Jebusites, Crosses, Beads, Quo Warrantoes, Dispensators, Ecclesiastic Commissioners, etc. vanish in a moment.   
FINIS.