The last DISCOURSE Betwixt Master Abel and Master Richard Kilvert, interrupted at the first by an ancient and angry Gentlewoman, who being herself unknown unto the observer of this Conference, it was conceived by him afterwards to be a certain friend of Mr Abel's.   woodcut 
Printed in the year 1641.   

A discourse betwixt Mr. ABEL and Mr. RICHARD KILVERT.  Abel 
IT cannot be helped now, Master Kilvert.  Gentlewo. 
It cannot be helped, marry'eene beshrew your hearts for it, (I have werheard your conference) it is a fine pass I am brought too, is it not? Shall I who was companion for the best City Ladies, who had my coach and my horses to carry me when and where I pleased, be contented now to sit at the lower end of the table, as if I was little better forsooth then one of the scullery: must I in my old age carry this weary body now on my own feet, if I mean to have it carried at all; must I endure that my velvet and my damask Gowns should be diswardrobed into some red Petticoat or Wastecoate, or some worse Polony Jump; I marry! what will the people say? here is a fine jump indeed, from honour to infamy, from wealth to want, from bravery to rags; from—  Abel 
Nay, prithee be quiet sweetheart, prithee Lady be not so intemperate!  Gentlewo. 
Sweetheart me no sweetheart's, Lady me no Ladies, I must forget all ceremonies and titles of honour, I, it is your ungoverned thoughts that have distracted me to an ungoverned tongue, you are a very, very honest man, are you not M●ster Abel? (she claps her hands at him.)  Kilvert. 
What strange inventions do these women use to satisfy the malice of their spleen when their tongues begin to be weary, they will borrow new encouragement from their hands, and do what they can to make them scold too?  Gentlewo. 
And safer too I wis, then to make their tongues the undoing of whole families by begging unjust Monopolies and Oinopolies, and I know not what inventions of infamy and ruin.  Kilvert. 
Sure this Gentlewoman's brains gins to unsettle, advise her to go in and to feed on warm things.  Gentlewo. 
Marry and I receive nothing but cold comfort from you, it would make a woman frantic indeed, to be served as I am served: but what is now become my Masters of your so deep, so subtle understandings? you that were two of the most cunning contrivers, of the most contriving Projectors, of the most projecting oppressors, what is now become of all your plots, of all your reach? if I had not rather choose two hogsheads for my Councillors, and safer, let me never be trusted more.  Abel. 
She had always an high and perilous spirit, I pray bear with her Master Kilvert.  Gentlewo. 
A perilous spirit indeed, to be fooled by your wisdoms, you are a pair of a perilous I know what; you dare not go into the Vintner's cellars, for fear the hogsheads themselves in disdain of that musty liquor which your tyrannies do enforce them to contain, and sensible of the injury, working altogether and framing to a revenge, should split their angry ribs against your guilty heads, and make you the examples of their justice before justice herself hath fully censured you.  Exit Gentlewoman. Kilvert. 
Alas, poor Gentlewoman I am very sorry for her! and in troth cannot much blame her passions.  Abel. 
She hath not that reason to grow so violent as she herself conceiveth, but I have the greatest afflictions that mankind can be capable of, I am exposed to the hatred of all men, my estate quite lost, my friends and old acquaintance accusing me, my conscience tormenting me, and myself daily expecting when justce shall proceed against me.  Kilvert. 
And I am even Master Abel in the same pickle myself, but the people as I understand entertain a great fear and a grief for me, but marry what is it? their fear is that my punishment shall not be so great as my offences, and that is the reason of their grief; whatsoever they wish to you it seems they have a care of me I thank them.  Abel. 
I never sought after nor conspired against the life of any of them.  Kilver. 
But you have against the estates of many of them, and that is their livelihood, and so by consequence have wrought their ruin, and what is that, but whiles you bring them into penuty and want by a lingering and a more trowel execution, you are many years in killing them.  Abel. 
It is true indeed, too true Mr. Kilvert, but why did you not tell me this before?  Kilver. 
A more discerning eye then mine might be deceived in the foreseeing of the event of things especially in the Labyrinths and perplexed Mazes of State affairs, was I of intelligence with the Destinies to foresee the unanimity and intentions of this present Parliament, their strict resolves for the reformation of all abuses, the rise of Lincoln, and the fall of Canterbury, had not the Drums of Scotland beat up their alarms in the Northern Marches, had not their Trumpets sounded in the English ears, for any thing that I know there had been neither so many Parlyes with them, nor a Parliament amongst ourselves; but you and I might have lived secure enough, for who then in the hurry and confusion of those distracted times would have taken off our veil of greatness to look upon our vices: it is hard believe me, when the errors of private men are countenanced by the authority of great and reverend personages, to discern the errors, as indeed they are, and to distinguish betwixt Virtue and Fortune.  Abel 
But have we no redress, no hope of redress at all (Mr. Kilvert) the Parliament I understand is merciful and noble, what if we petitioned unto them?  Kilver. 
'tis right, but they are as just as they are merciful, are you able to restore and make good whatsoever wrongs you have done to those who have accused you, for my own part, I know my own inabilities.  Abel. 
Not I, not I, Mr. Kilvert, I am altogether unable to make them satisfaction, neither indeed am I very willing: besides, the small estate that I was master of, I have made over to my Heirs.  Kilver. 
It is like to continue with them long, I have read 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, and the experience of all Ages hath justified the Proverb.  Abel. 
Master Kilvert you have a head that is well exercised in the Law, and have laid many projects to draw others into danger, cannot your wit find one now to deliver yourself endangered.  Kilver. 
What project mean you Mr. Abel, I will tell you, and do you remember it in your day of trial, who dare wilfully, and with a prepared resolution transgress the Law, dares undergo any punishments that the Law can afflict; I have no other counsel to relieve you with at this present.  Abel. 
Will there no pity be extended to my aged head?  Kilver. 
Grace haired iniquity is the most odious, to abuse the goodness of so gracious a Prince, to impoverish, to oppress his subjects, and that under the umbrage of Justice and Authority are no easy crimes, Master Abel, what did you tell me of devices, and I know not what projects, which you were always more ready to entertain, than I to fancy, I would have you know, Mr. Abel. I defy the scandal and the imputation of the word.  Abel. 
Excuse me Sir, I did not think to have so much moved your patience, I see then that I must altogether rely on the mercy of God, and of the Parliament. I perceive you are to me like one of jobs friends, but a miserable comforter.  Kilver. 
We must arm ourselves with jobs patience, though we cannot with his innocence, and make our sufferings examples unto times to come, that they dare no more with such close pretences as were ours, like so many pioneers, seek to undermine the courses and the force of Justice; who reputes him of his offence (they say) is almost innocent. As he was speaking this, there came in one unto them, and told them that there was a company of ancient Gentlemen who desired with speed to have conference with them; who they were it is yet unknown, but it appeared they were some Citizens who had been abettors and complotters with them in the inhancement and sophistication of the Wines; they whispered softly amongst themselves, but because they were altogether unknown, having a desire to do nothing more than to inform the Reader with certainty and truth, both the persons and their counsels are adjourned to a more clear and a more full relation.  
FINIS.