All to Westminster: NEWS FROM ELYSIUM, OR, A Packet of wonders, brought over in Charon's Ferry-Boat last Spring tide: Discovering many notable things worth Observation, 1641.   woodcut portrait of a man in clerical dress 
Printed in the Year, 1641.   

All to Westminster.  
IN the still hours of the gloomy night, when Morpheus was the secure Canopy of most men's hearts, my troubled fancy kept me waking, and various whimsies did suggest into my secret thoughts, whereby my wearied body could take no rest, though in the still hours of the cloudy night; but after the passing over of some sad meditations, the moon began to shine, which seemed to me delightful: then I arose, for my cogitations invited me to walk abroad.  
I went into the city, and walked from street to street, but the beating of the city drums did almost break my brain: I went into the Country, and espying a great house, I visited it, and when I approached, I cast my eyes upon it, & walked about it, where at last I beheld the porch: I went into it, and there I laid me down to sleep; but I was soon disturbed. The Country Swains came thither, knocking at the door, with their long pike-staves in their hands, and their pouches hanging by their side, they srighted me terribly: I know not what to think of it, but I spoke boldly unto them, and asked them what place that was: who answered me that a Judge dwelled there: I asked them again, doth your Judge (quoth I) hear Cases in the night? and they told me, that they were thus often troubled and detracted from their rest, to come thither, else (quoth they) we should go to law, but never meet with Gospelers; I asked them why they carried such long staves in their hands, and such pouches by their sides, and many such like questions, and they told me, that their staves were to defend them from thiefs, that lay lurking up and down the Country, and that their bags were to put writings & their money in, both which they brought to the Gentleman of the house, to defend their cause, and assist them against their adversary, that would wrong them in their estates. But they told me such a story, that I was almost mad, me thought the house began to sink, and I poor timorous Caitiff, began to fly, and took sanctuary in the Church-porch: there I laid me down again, thinking with myself, surely here I shall rest quietly, but before I was web laid, and had contrived my place to lie to sleep, I heard a clomping noise, as if some horse had come into the porch, and looking what it was, I espied a Country fellow, I think it was the Sexton came to toll the bell for some body that lay dying, and he told me that my Lord's grace of Canterbury, had sent a command, that none should put the consecrated Temple to common uses, and therefore he told me that I must not sleep in the Church-porch; for it is holy (qd. he) what thought I, will not England afford me a resting place: away I sailed into Ireland, to sea what entertainment I could get there; but I was there troubled with so many Crosses, & heard so many lamentations like forlorn Pilgrims amongst the people, that being extreme weary, and discontented, I prayed for them and departed.  
Then away I betook me into Scotland, and there I met with 3 or 4 bonny Scots, In their blue caps, and I told them the story of my travels, & they made me to drink of their Scottish Ale, and comforted me, and told me that my best way to rest quietly, was to obtain a lodging in Westminster hall, they told me that there were erected thousands of new quiet lodgings, pleasant & delightful, where, though a man had no rest quietly this 20 or 30 years, he might yet there sleep securely, and take sweet and comfortable rest, which made me very glad, and I came amain to Westminster Hall, where I found the bonny Scottish-mans' words true, where I slept ever since, and took my rest so well, to my great comfort, that I often think what cause I have to cry, Godamercy good Scot But yet in the midst of a deep sleep, me thought I saw a strange vision, which I shall declare.  

The Vision.  
Near unto my bed (me thought) I did espy a door which I opened, & went through, when I had passed the door, me thought I was by the Sea side, and seeing people there, I demanded what place that was, and they answered that it was the landing place for Charon's Ferry-bote, when they said so, I looked over the waves, and espied the boat, but far off, which they told me came from Elysium: the Passengers they told me were Pluto his prisoners, Now on a sudden the winds arose, and the waves did beat, and the boat came wafting amain, one while they mounted to the top of the highest waves, and on a sudden were out of sight; But such was their mishap, that on a sudden they were driven upon a rock, which split their boat in pieces, Charon himsefle being a good swimmer, returned home to carry the news of his mishap, the passengers got upon planks and boards, and shifted each man for himself as they could, being all in danger of every wave to sink into the deluge: now I shall tell you what did afterwards ensue to some of them.   

Those that landed in France.  
Me thought no Gold-sinch, not the swiftest bird was able to out fly the one, who soon made franch his shore, a second also, fastening himself unto a great plank, was by the rage of the furious winds blown with as much swiftness to the banks bordering on the French Seas, others also of both Sects found shelter there when they were driven to shore, and so have saved their lives.   

Those that landed at the Ferry-place.  
The first that approached to the shore, where we beheld this sight, came ashore with help, extreme weary, and dropping wet, staggering like an Irish Sea Crab, being almost spent with those turmoiling waves, through which he lately passed: Now whereas there was a great stack of straw at a ford coming from the Sea, through a Channel into the Land, he betakes himself thither, and there he sits to rest himself a while, but being wet, and sitting in the cold, found himself to be very ill, insomuch that rising up, he found it difficult to go, and therefore called for help to assist him, who took the next Inn, which chanced to be the Castle for his lodging, the extremity of his sickness grew greater, who sent for divers Doctors to come unto him, who came and advised with him: there came to him a Dutch Doctor, and he told him that his distempered brain had brought him into a frenzy, and that his body would never be well, until his brains were taken away: There came to him a French Doctor, and he told him that an Italian purge (which he would procure for him) made of the best approved drugs in Rome, was the only physic for his malady, acquainting him that his Disease was desperate, and therefore he must be content to betake himself to a desperate potion; who told the Patient that he would warrant his Medicine, either to amend him, or end him.  
There came an Irish Doctor, who told him that he found that there was a bladder of blood in his throat, growing in a dangerous place, and if that was well cut off by Doctor Gregory, or some other such experienced Practitioner, no doubt he would recover, and be at ease.  
Then came the Scottish Doctor, and he told him plainly a my saule man (qd. he) there is nae way but death, & thersore advised him to prapare himself; for I warrant thee (quoth he) thou'st die, or I will die for tee.  
Last of all came the English Doctor, who prescribed him rich Cordials, and all the means that could beto comfort him, but alas it was all to no purpose; for a certain time came, when poor man he fell down upon the floor, but he had such a fall that made his head and body part, and he never spoke word after.   

The second that landed at the Ferry-place.  
After him was driven to shore, an old man in a Canting gown, as black as a berry; & well was it for him that he had a gown, or else he had been drowned before he came ashore, for the spreading of the skirts of his great gown kept him. He was conveyed to a private man's lodging at Lambeth, who coming into the Hall, sat by the fire side, intending to put off his clothes, and to dry himself, but the Chamberlain came in, and told him, that the hall was appointed for other companies, and therefore desired him to walk into the lower Chamber, which he was loath to do, but being constrained, at the last he went, where he caused a good fire to be made, the chamber to be aired, and his bed to be warmed, & so he put off his clothes, & went to bed: but being very ill, could not take his rest quietly, but slumbered and raved & muttered in his sleep extremely, and when he awaked, one asked him how he did, who answered, that he was very sick, & being asked what distur bed him, he said, he was in a dream: I dreamt, viz.   

The old man's dream in the black gown.  
Me thought (qd. he) I was a great man, and very ambitious of honour, and so much, that I laid my hands upon a Prince's Crown to take it by force, or at least to overtop it: but I tumbled & knocked my head against it, and did almost, if not altogether (by that means) knock out my brains: so that I was feign to send for Surgeons to come and dress my wounds, which swelled extremely, they appointed me a plaster to assuage the swelling, but it put me to such extremity of pain, that I could not suffer it, and I required some other course to be taken to cure me; for I told them (qd. he) that death itself was more supportable, than the irksome plaster, so contrary to my Nature, & I was me thought (qd. he) so extremely humoursome with them, that they departed and left me to myself, but I threatened them, that if they would not humour me, I would be avenged on them, which swords prevailed so far, that I prevailed with the most of them to please my fancy, who put pleasant Oils into my wounds, and gave me Cordials to comfort me, which gave me pretty ease, though my sore became the more difficult to cure, so after a while they departed, leaving me to myself alone. Now when as I was so private, I thought it fittest (in my meditation) to go to prayer. My thoughts drew nigh to my cabinet, where amongst my other Relics, my affections led me to St. Patrick, so I kneeled down to pray, & viewed the Image well, and having done prayer, I called for my attendance, and commanded them to stand stiffly in my aid and be true, and I would be as true to them, when I was exalted into my glory, which I am very confident (qd. he) will be attained unto? So that I expect my dignity to be an admiration to the world. Is not Italy my aid, France my succour, Spain my relief, Rome my Counsel, and these three Kingdoms my prey, do not my projects thrive, and who dare outface my will, if the Puritans and Burton cross my humour, or Bastwicke disturb me, if Laiton, Lilborne, or any such fellows rise against me, i'll prime their ears, whip them, i'll gag them, imprison and correct them severely for it, and they shall know who, & what I am. But amongst the rest, me thought I lashed one Scottish man sound, and came near another's life, he escaped, and he loves me since, as well as I loved him then: but the old man being merry with talking, bad his servants and attendance to withdraw a while: then me thought (qd. he) I went to my Cabinet again, at which time my fancy chose St. Gregory? I kneeled down and bowed before it, and begun to pray, but after, qd. he, when I looked seriously upon it, it made me start, and spoilt my devotion; for St. Gregory was pictured with a rope about his middle, laying his right hand upon it, as if he had intended to take it off, which made me quake (what thought I, quoth he) doth the Image jeer me, but when I risen up from my disturbed praying, I cast mine eyes behind me, and me thought there stood a young fellow by me with a new Hempen halter in his hand which did so affright me, that I fell into a great trance, and crying out, I awaked, and trembled a long time after; for I thought verily that the three corner'd caped Rogue would have hanged me presently.   

The 3. and 4. that landed there.  
But to return to my story, there were driven to that ferry-place, two more afterwards, the one was an old man in a fur gown, just like Winter, in Russian Robes; he was preserved then from drowning for another purpose now, and as the other old man before gave laud to St. Gregory, and blest himself before St. Patrick: so this dropping wet, half drowned barley top't projector, gave praise to Neptune, and would have plauded Fortune, but when he came ashore, he felt himself ill, and his belly full of water, which constrained the people, that as they told him to shore, so they tied him by the heels to disburden him of his tympany, and after him came a Ratliffe Scrivener, who was swollen with the water, as big as St. George his horse, whom the people ordered as they did the other, that the water might run out of his belly, afterwards being disburdened of the water, as opportunity and means would permit, they took their lodging at the Lantern, near Yeeld-Hall; these two were much taken notice off, and certain debts were demanded of them, but they answered, that they were so old, that by law they were lost, bonds were produced, which made them cry peccavi, but yet they would not pay: but in the end came an honest Messenger from Westminster, and told them that it did concern them to look about them; for Gregory the Officer was sent for, and if he can but get a warrant, they would be sure to be Arrested, and he's a terrible fellow, a man were as good to be hanged, as to be in his custody.  
There is more I should have written, but expect it in the second part; So at this time farewell.   
FINIS.