A RELATION OF A MAN'S RETURN and His Travaills out of a long and sore CAPTIVITY, To partake of that REST, which Remaineth to the PEOPLE of GOD.  
Written For the sake of those who wants the Consolation of Israel, and would walk in the HEAVENLY WAY thereof, if they knew it.  Jer. 4: 1. 
If thou wilt return, saith the Lord, return unto me.  Ibid. 17: 10. 
I the Lord search the heart.  
Written by one of Zyons' Travelers, Th. bail.   

Friendly Reader,  
IT is the manner of Mariners sailing in unknown places and discovering dangerous Rocks sands, or shoules, and being delivered from the danger thereof; To procure buys or beacons to be placed upon them as warnings and marks to them who afterwards shall have occasion to sail that way that they may also escape the dangers thereof. And this is but to preserve the outward life with ship and goods which are all at best but temporal: how much more is it needful for those who have travailed the way of Regeneration and have discovered the many dangers that are in that way to give notice thereof to those that are willing to travail in that way that so they may escape the shipwreck of their immortal Souls. And indeed many are the perils hazards and dangers that such meet withal, sometimes in danger of being deceived and beguiled; sometimes of being affrighted and dismayed and so disheartened and turned back again when they have made some progress; and at other times of being made over confident and presumptuous of their skill and understanding and of being made to think they are at their journeys' end when they have made very small progress therein.  
All which his Author as an experienced Traveler in Zyons Narrow way hath set forth, as he and many more hath found it; that so all that have a mind and earnest desire to travel that way, may be assisted with warning and good information at every turning, and at last may be content to cease from all false guides and from their own reason and imaginations, and from their own strength and wisdom, and may lay hold of that sure giude that God in his infinite love hath appointed to lead all simple and upright souls to rest by. And therefore whoever thou art that shall read this Treatise do it seriously and considerately, and then shalt thou see as in a glass where thy present state is, and if thou find thyself on the right-hand or on the left to be erred from the certain way of life; wait thou for the compassionate visitations of thy souls inward friend, the faithful and true witness of god in thy conscience; and he will call thee back into the right way, and lead thee in the midst of the paths of Judgements until at length thou arrives at that haven of rest to thy immortal soul, which will answer all thy labour, trials, travels and exercises that thou may meet withal: and if this description of the way and the difficulties thereof do prove any help and benefit to thee; then the Author and I have our desire, and let god have the glory to whom alone it doth belong he being the Fountain of good to all that diligently seek him.  
S. C.   

THere was a man seated in a goodly place, fitted with all things needful for a happy life, he being inconsiderate of his ways and do and of the event thereof, in the time of his youth frequented the vanities of the world, and the idle pleasures of it; whilst this man was in the participation of them, and running on therein from one thing to another; there was one which beheld his do, who was grieved in himself to see the man so deceived; in great compassion and tenderness (aiming at his deliverance) waited when he might visit him, and afford his help: And so it came to pass, that the man being in the cool of the day, in some kind of recollection from his labour, and the cumber of it, in the heart searching word of his own eternal power and goodness, this compassionate one said unto him: Where art thou? and left him (as far as he perceived then) to ruminate there on: the man knew not who it was, that in this inquireing word spoke unto him, or from whence the voice came, being a great stranger and unaquainted therewith, although he dwelled near unto him: but such was the secret authority and force thereof, that some entrance was made thereby in to his mind; so that he was sitting down to consider of that which had happened unto him, and whilst he was getting into the consideration thereof; One, having too much interest in him and easy access, said: Let not distrustful thoughts and vexing fear have place within thee, for all is well enough; if thou look about thee, thou shall see that there is no cause for them; hereupon the man roused himself, as if he would have thereby discharged his heart, of that sorrow and grief, which so lately had assailed him, and so said, he would not bow under he knew not what or be dismayed thereby: and so returned to his beloved enjoyments again, and did rejoice, as if all had been well with him; Now this man, as one whose heart was whole, proceeded on according to the counsel and secret insinuations of his deceiving friend who by reason of his near habitation unto him, counted him his neighbour, and did not perceive the snares which was laid for him, and afterwards did appear, or that there was any at all; so near and close did his heart comply thereto: But his tender and compassionate neighbour, saw that his feet went downward to death, and steps to take hold on hell, he (as at the first) waited to show his love unto him, and the lifting up the light of his countenance; and in his own time said, If thou dost evil sin lieth at the door; which visitation came more near to the man (as he thought) entering as a shaft into his liver, which although he strove much to pull it out, yet in no wise could he do it, nor get a remedy, or relieve him  of the smart thereof; but after all his pains and careful labour to quit himself (still the stroke remained as a burden, and incurable) and he could see no way for that, by all the undertake and attempts which he could do; and now began the burden of his thoughts and the perplexity thereby, so that he often feared the displeasure of the Lord would breakforth upon him by reason of them, even whilst he was young and tender in years, and hath at divers times said in the sense of the evil thereof, in the words of the Prophet: How long should vain thoughts lodge with in him: as finding them too burthersom and heavy for him to bear, and bring into subjection, and as that which alone was the work of his sufficient grace, although then he knew not that, or what it was, or where.  
Thus he groaned in himself and said, what is the matter with me, and why am I so of ten troubled, and in my trouble fear exceedingly, and in my fear to have torment; O! said his beloved neighbour (for he whose voice made this enquiring in him, he looked upon him as his enemy, and had not a thought that he that wounded, did it that he might heal) Come come, see thy neighbours and acquaintance, they are merry men, and they refresh themselves (thou see) and be jocund together; come drink of there cup, and eat of their dish, that a melancholy spirit may not come over thee, and thou go drooping up & down, until thou makes thyself ridiculous unto them, and rob thyself of the comfort of thy life, what wouldst thou have? behold thy possessions, may thou not compare with them, what wantest thou, or what wouldst thou have?  
The man was afraid, and knew not well what was the matter with him, but as it afterwards appeared, the conscience of him stirred in him, and there by his peace was broken, which he had in the friendship of this world, which is enmity against God; he could not swallow his sweet bits as formerly, but was therein pursued to his astonishment: and his pleasures become burdensome unto him; then he said, he knew not how to live there, and therefore would go to his neighbour's habitations, & take of their mirth and pleasure, and refresh himself in their company, and castforth (thereby) the trouble that was in his mind, (for there the man's grief and trouble was) so he went and took of of their cup, that thereby he might wash down his sorrow (as he hoped) and other essays he made, which are abounding in the world to divert him from his trouble, and endeavourd to talk at any rate, that he might be delivered and be quiet.  
By this time the man might have perceived, that when God visit man for his iniquity, he makes his beauty to consume as a moth; for his face begon to gather paleness, and his endeavours proved vain; for he could not get rid of this searching enquiring voice which had visited him, it would be sounding in his ears, and pursuing him, and often in the midst of his laughter, sorrow would arise, and fill his heart, so that sometimes he was ready to throw of all his companions, and to bid adieu to his idle pleasures and passtimes, and then would hang down his head.  
And heaviness of spirit (like a talent of lead) ready to sink him, would come over him as if he should have been swallowed up thereby: but still he knew not the hand that pursued him, neither did he care for acquainting himself with it, he looked upon it as his enemy, he could not hope for deliverance from that, which wounded him, for he saw no freindlyness in it; and he would have been at ease, and enjoy his frolicks (as his neighbours did) and not have been so afflicted as he was; but he that smote him, still did smit him, and his peace which was broken, seemed as if it had been quite removed from him.  
Now on the other hand he that had enticed him to the drawing his mind out into worldly vanities, and the unprofitableness thereof; and thereby drawn him from Remembering his Creator in the days of his youth, before the evil days come, where in he could say he had no pleasure, he I say continued his insinuations and flatteries, seeking by all ways and means of his own to dawb the man up, and that answerable to the desires of his own heart; for when he was wounded and afflicted, so that what ever he put his hand unto, visitations of sorrow and disquietness arose in him; he said unto him, well, if sin do lie at thydoor, at whose door doth it not, have not all sinned, and all fallen short, why canst thou not be content, & quiet thyself. The Prophets they prophesied of a saviour to come, and thou have read that he came, believe thou that; they are the elect that believe in him, believe thyself to be one of them, and apply the promises, and it will be well with thee; all must carry about them so long as they are in this world a body of sin (thou knows) thou will be rid of that when thou comes to die, and rid of all these legal fears and frights of mind, which now thou give way unto, and readily receive into thy mind, and from whence things proceeds, and lies in thy way, (for which there is no cause or reason) to grieve and offend thee; do thou believe the promises (they are many and large) and that Christ died for thee, than all will be well: do thou see thy neighbours, thy acquaintance, thy friends, they do not acquaint themselves, with such pitiful fears as thou entertains, nor with such needless distracting doubts and questionings; and it concerns them as well as thou, to see that they lay hold of their saviour, and his merits; although they perplex not themselves to their own wounding, and make their lives uncomfortable, as thou do: Thus strove the adversary to hold the man in the deceivableness of his own unrighteousness, that so he might have withstood the visitations of the Lord, until there had been no remedy: who had visited him by his gentile reproofs, that his heart might bow before him and in the sense of his evil, have humbled his soul before his holy throne in great contrition of Spirit, but notwithstanding the favour of the Lord thus appearing for him, he submitted not unto him, but sought out to himself many inventions, thereby to have been delivered: And so the man he would go read the scriptures, as he saw others did (for he began to think of Religion) and see to get some good promises into his mind, to comfort and satisfy him  with all; and thought that if he could make out himself to be one of Gods elect, one in whom his soul delighted; and one whom the Lord took care of and did sustain by watching over him, and leading him by his eye, in the weigh of the blessing, and sure mercies of the Lord; that then he might sometimes enjoy himself with his friends and neighbours, (after which there was a secret working in his mind) which he could not then part with all; not having learnt the daily cross) and might partake of their cups and neighbourly freindships'; for the man did take notice that some of them would sometimes be talking of Religion, of Christ's ordinances and Christian duties, and such good things; and the other (which they absented not themselves from) he thought would be good fellowship, good neighbourhood and the maintaining good society with them; and many he saw esteemed them so to be; and then he should not be judged (by them) as a man singular, or of a morose temper, and frowardly inclined; so tumbled over the scriptures forward and backward, like those who searched the Scriptures (as since he understood) but would not come to Jesus that they might have life; to see for some comfortable places to stay himself upon, or thereby to relieve himself, upon so great an occasion, as he in his distress desired; and amongst many good things recorded there, concerning the Lords dear and tender love to mankind in Jesus Christ, calling unto him to forsake the evil, and to cleave to the good, and much more; and that then he would soon confound his foes, and give him an inheritance in the promised land of blessings: And he also took notice how that David cried out and mourned long (as well as he) and of Jobs affliction and Paul's bewaileing himself, and saying o wretched man that I am; and others, which he took notice of in that his inquisition; here upon he concluded that he must not be to curiouss, or nice in that his search, he might in so doing (for aught he knew) tempt God, and be distrustful of his Saviour's merits; and some he saw cautioned thus in their preach; and some told him, (whom he acquainted himself with for advice, which he sought after) that although it be said, that those who are born of God (or are Gods elect) they sin not, that is (said they,) they sin not willingly, or constantly, as reprobates and wicked men do, but with reluctancy; and it was to keep them humble in their own eyes, God saw it good to be so, or else man would be puffed up in spiritual pride, and grow forgetful of God's mercies, and wax wanton, and careless in an easeful Spirit; so than thought he, its as well with me (it may be) as with others; as is my state, such is there then, only they lived over a distrustful and perplexing spirit, which he gave way unto, and must be content, it must be so (he thought) he could not help it; so endeavourd (according to the practice of the world) to disesteem or slight him that smote him, as judging him not his friend at all, but his enemy; and as some thing starting in his mind (like an idle dream) to fright him, and to stir up doubts and questionings in him, concerning his salvation, and obtaining the Love of God in Jesus Christ, then that he through and by that, should at last come to attain thereunto.  
For by this time he had heard so much, (by the report that was thereof in the world, and by his searching of the Scriptures) concerning death and judgement, salvation and damnation; that he thought, that if he was not one of the elect, and so besaved, know and inherit the joys of the blessed, and ransomed of the Lord, that then he must be in a woeful and wretched state in deed; for he had heard and read, that hell was a place (and did believe it to be so) of endless torment, endless pain and misery; burning with fire and brimstone, and that the fire should never go out, or be extinguished, nor the worm dy or the damned come to an end of their torment; as at a time, hearing of one in a despairing condition, he with others visited her who amongst other things she said; O that the Lord had preserved me, as he hath preserved you, but I am sealed down under damnation for ever, were it to be but for a hundred thousand years, there would then be hopes of an end, but it is (said she) for ever, for ever.  
The man he thought them happy, which knew the right way, or way of salvation, and did believe that there was one, although he did not understand it, or know where, or which it was; for there was many ways which he heard, & took notice of; Men crying up one while one, and crying down at another; & crying down one another for them; which verified that saying, that there is away that seemeth right to a man; but David said: I have chosen the way of truth, and here by he could not attain at any certainty, or come to an assurance, or infalibility of judgement amongst them; now he had read of a perfect and everlasting way, but saw not himself in it, neither could he find it, for he saw men believing at a large rate, and applying promises in a strange way, which he could not understand (by what knowledge he had attained to) by reading the scriptures, or his own condition, to have been the foot steps of the ancient travellers, in the way of Zion's salvation, which is redeemed with Judgement; here upon he sought more strictly to inquire in to religion, and to take a more seriouss observation thereof, by considernig those who so much seemed the promotion of it; and he found them in astrange contradiction and contrariety; One crying lo here, another lo there, that he knew not how to resolve, or come at any certainty, or where to centre himself, in so great a concern, as the salvation of his soul was; for he was for that, namely the real and infallible salvation of it; or else, if he could not come thiter, he should not esteem of religion and salvation, so much talked of up and down in the world, more than afiction or a dream which is deceivable; the talk thereof, according to the custom of the world, he had proved, and must know it saved, or nought would be of advantage and satisfaction unto him. Here upon he said, that he saw no reason why he should order himself by other men's Methods and Prescriptions; and the rather, because he had read (as well as proved them void of answering to his necessitouss state) that he must give an account for himself, and that to a vain thought, and idle word, as well as for transgressions of greatest evils; and that none could answer for his brother, and he had a desire (it was so with him) that he might give his account with joy, and receive the heavenly blessed reception, Well done good and faithful servant ... enter into thy Master's joy.  
Afther this he thought with himself to make trial, and to search into the matter, very strictly, as he could, or should be able; for the voice of the awackening Word of the Lord, and the entrance of it in his heart he felt, and the disquietings it wrought there; peace he would gladly have had, but it fled from him, and in stead thereof astonishments, and perplexities; and he was as a wounded heart, which fearfully fled to escape its wounding, even whilst she carried them along with her; for the more he strove for relief, the farther off it seemed to be removed from him.  
Some did reflect upon his actions, and him accounted as a fool, and lightly esteemed they him, because they saw his visage Marring, and that he had not that fellowship or friendly society with them, as formerly; seeming to be a man disrespecting that, rather than eagerly pursuing of it, or rejoiceing in it, as some times before he had done; some again thought he was mad, or would be distracted, or some thing of evil would happen unto him, and be his ruin: so that their acceptation or esteem of him, was, as if he became a burden or load unto them, and not a joy or delight; thus his wont friends seemed to frown upon his frequenting their societies, accounting his life madness, and that his end would be with out honour.  
Well, the man's grief remained, and his sorrows did not abate, hestill as one overwhellming in them, would try and prove, if at last he might arrive at a place of content; therefore sought he after means, which might be effectual to him, and that of the best, that was to be had, at least wise according to his own Judgement, for he desired Judgement, and understanding, that they might be as the guirdle of his loins, and that he might not go on with fools, for than he thought he might miss of a cure, and not be better by all his travels, and pains; for fools perished for want of knowledge, and the heart with out it could not be good.  
Now there was some what held forth in those days as a comfortable way of relief, for some that had been wounded, or afflicted, and a physician of good experience reported of, which had choice medicines, of rare virtues and operations, for such distempers as his was (as some said) who had like occasion and made use thereof: whereupon the Man (as glad to hear thereof) applies himself (upon their report) and makes his essay, and enters upon the application: and at first trial, there seemed a hope, and from thence a joy, as if some good effect would have succeeded, but continuing his applycations, his hope, and with it his joy they abated; so that the Man grew as heartless as comfortless: almost dispayreing of relief; and sitting down in his sorrow and in his grief, as one at his wit's end, alone by himself; it entered into his mind to visit a people near adjoining, and hoped that thereby might be administered satisfaction and such relief as his soul stood in so great want off, and the man was so well pleased with the motion, which inclined him there unto, that he was ready to resolve with himself, that he should go amongst Angels; such was the persent affection of his mind unto them, and therefore endeavourd to qualify himself accordingly, and to fashion himself what he could with gravity, sobriety and seriousness, which he inclined after and sought to be such a one indeed, that hypocrisy might not have place in him, as a thing which he always desired, he might not be defiled with, Judging that it must like wise be so, or their society would not admit of him, to partake with them in their holy fellowship, and that good order, which he thought, yea and concluded, was amongst them, but so it happened unto him, that in a short space of time, after his friendly visiting of them, their Nakedness and his own disapointment appeared; and he saw them to be with out eyesalve, and as men groping in the dark, and night of ignorance, where the occasion of stumbling and falling is.  
And thus still was the Man left with his wound, and the grief of it, with out relief: and Just was it with the Lord, and his great mercy unto him that it should be so, and he left with out redress, seenig he sought in the wrong place, and endeavourd to enter into the holy rest of the Lord, at the door which he had not set open to him; and left him disappointed because his eye was a broad at man for help, which ought to have been turned inward, that the Lord might have brought near his own salvation, by his own right arm and have given him an inheritance therein, which alone could answer unto the necessity of his soul, and the great want that he was in.  
So that being well sensible of his not attaining unto the salvation of his soul, there upon he retireing to sit down as forsaken and comfortless, his deceiving enemy pretending friendship and good will, said, retire thyself from their feliowships and societies, and take thee to thy secret closet, it's a more probable way for thy relief; read the Scriptures, apply what thou readest with diligence, pray earnestly, refresh thyself sometimes amongst those that can discourse and reason about religion, and pine not away in solitariness, through vexatious sorrow.  
For by this time the man could have been glad of any hole or by corner of the earth, to have bewailed himself (although he concealed his grief what he could) and there was a harkening to the advice, and frequenting reading and meditation, applying promises, and praying morning and evening, and could not well let that pass at any time lest there should have been neglect of duty, growing into remissness, and a waxing worse and worse, until hardness of heart should have entered, and all Religion ben shut up thereby and extinguished.  
And here the man leaned a while, being in some hopes of relief, he was ready upon all his essays to promise that to himself, as well as to propound it upon his undertake; and now he was ready (although it proved but as a reed of Egypt) to hope he was not so bad, or in such a desperate state, as he before was in; but that his grief and sorrow was abated, and that he enjoyed some satisfaction in his mind, which before now he was in so great distress for want of; thus he was willing to hope for himself, for he was got under some good duties, and godly practices, and so hoped, that the Lord would look mercifully upon him, for Christ Jesus sake, and give him some of the necessary relief, which he had read some had received at the Lords hands, in the time of there need and distress.  
And thus for some little season of time proceeded the man, thinking himself some body; the thought himself now not as this man and that man was; and that he had escaped that bondage and servility, of hanging upon other men, as many did or as pinning his faith upon others sleeves (as men was used to say) and would compare himself (for information sake) with others, and say; surely it is better with me now then they, for he accounted that he had some what of his own to rely upon, and rest himself with all, but as he was thus resolving he began a gain to remember his former visitation, and the sorrow and grief it brought with it, and did occasion; so that he said, is this my hope also cut of, and doth my joy abate again, and am I still short of such an effect as I have sought after for to enjoy?  
For he had laboured to enjoy acure to be made inwardly of a secret wound in his heart; and had sought after means to effect it, even by all ways and means that he could be acquainted with, or seek out himself, both rising up and lying down: and hath not been wanting of careful thoughts, and all endeavours imaginable, that so he might attain unto deliverance, which he had been and still was in so great need of; but all availed nothing, nor nought that he was seeking by could reach the wound and make relief; then said he in groaning wise; O! that he knew of a physician that were able to give remedy unto him, and that he could gladly endure a corrosive, that so he might be healed.  
Now he was thus groaning and sithing forth himself; in his sorrowful state, being alone and having no eye, mind or desire after any outward help or deliverance, having tried all ways and means (as a foresaid) that he could think of or imagine, and being at times affected with this kind of way, as feeling then some thing of satisfaction and rest of mind, to fly or glance through him; he at this time was again visited in the opening word of the Lord, by his tender and composionate friend, although he had not an eye as yet to look upon him so to be, nor a heart so to esteem of him: it being strange (or not at all) to be considered off by him, that he that did wound and kill, should do it thereby to heal and make a live, yet he in the move of his dear tender and everlasting loving kindness said thy destruction is of thyself, thy help is in me: then the man thought there might be help still, but the deceiver he secretly wrought thus; whence come this, knows thou whence it comes, or whither it will? give not way to a fancy, a dream, flying through thine imagination, thou knowest not whither; lest thou build castles in the air (as men use to speak) and thou be left at last to fall, not having a foundation.  
Thus the man hurried to and again, knew not what to do; willing he was to have relief, glad he should be to receive comfort; a saviour cried he for, and desireous was to have, but knew not where to find him; in want and destress, anguish and perplexity he was; these things abounded in him; what should he do, to whom should he speak, or call to, or cry unto; or by what have might he have hopes, and find relief; he found all as miserable comforters, and none that could tell him where his beloved was; or whilst he said tell me, could answer: if thou knowest not, get the forth by the steps of the flock, and feed thy kids by the tents of the shepherds.  
He had read much (& talked sometimes) of a feast of fat things which the Lord would make; he wished and desired, such hunger was in his soul, with desire of spirit, that he knew where it was, and might at last come to eat thereof, or at least wise get some crumbs of it, that would be better to him then that pineing woeful state that he was in, and be more hopeful of affording some redress in his necessity.  
What help had not he tried and sought after to enjoy, that so he might know a release from his perplexities? Men he had tried, and their writings (many) read, had made diligent search and inquiry into their lives, their deeds and conversations, wherein their face was religiouss? and he found not thereby him whom he desired: and marveling at the sight of some, whom he cast upon an eye of observation; they seemed to be heart whole, and merry, without such heart smart as he felt, until he was ready to murmur in himself for and because of their prosperity; and he hoped at some times, that they might have been physicians of worth to him, by the long profession, that they would beseemed, or thought to have made in Zyons' ways, which not withstanding were ready to over look him in his adversities; as one whom they had no bowels of compassion for, and passed by, as one whose miseries they had no fellow feeling of; so could not see them skilful enough, nor of that profissiencie, (after all their noise and great stir in the profession of Religion,) as to speak a word in due season, to a man afflicted as he was.  
And upon this he was confirmed in his former resolve, concerning them, that he saw no reason, why he should lean upon them for help, for he found no stabilities in their go, or found judgement whence counsel and advice should proceed; or that they were established on a rock, or come to the munition of rocks, (the centre of the righteous in all ages and generations) but were as men treading in slippery places, and seemed to be tottering, and as ready to fall, although not in their own eyes.  
Then he desired to retire again, and thought in himself so to do, from any hope or expectation of succour from them, and choose rather a solitary place to mourn in; esteeming himself increasing in his perplexities, rather than the enjoying, or having reason to hope for an abatement of them; & concluded that vain was the help of man, why should he desire it: for he met with nought but disapointments and vexation whilst he sought after them, and said: O that the time were come! spoken of and borne witness unto by the Prophets, that the Lord would be teacher himself, and write his Law in the heart, that man might cease from man, for where in was he to be esteemed: the more solicitouss was he in these his desires, because so often had he been perplexed whilst his ear was open, or heart seeking after them for help: and because he had read concerning the Lord, and his teaching, by those who had attained formerly unto it, thus: What teacher is like unto him? by which it seemed unto him, as if there was none like unto him, and therefore none to be desired but him alone; and he thought and did believe that such a state would be blessed, for than he should sit under his own vine, and no man should make him afraid, which he longed for to enjoy.  
But again he was ready to fear and not to believe, that that should be in his day, or whilst he lived, for he did see little or none appearance for hope of it, although some believed that such a time should be, because they believed, that those Prophets, which wrote, of such a thing were true Prophets, but not yet (said some) afterwards it will be, but not at present; but this could not answer the man neither, he wanted at present, being in present want, through his present grief, and afterward was too tediouss, like unto a man that must perish through hunger, if he did not attain unto relief, by getting bread; and it would be a vain thing to say unto such a one, next year or afterwards there will be bread enough, although now, none: whilst he was ready to starve & famish for want of it.  
And those who puts the day of the Lord a far of, and that saith he defers his coming, woe is unto such (as saith the Scripture) and they are of those who so believe, who was rather for a little more ease to the flesh, and a little more of the sleep of the night, and of the darkness thereof, wherein the fashions of this world and the divers lusts and vanities thereof are, rather than to be such, as breaths for the glory of the knowledge of the glory of the Lord, to cover the earth, as the waters doth the sea.  
So that the man said, O! that he knew the Lord, and his way, and his will, he would then obey him, and walk therein; and said, Led me o Lord in the way everlasting (which is righteous in thy sight) that I may feel of the joy of thy salvation. For the way in which he was, was crooked and perverse, and he in it filled with lamentation, and mourning and woe, and would therein end (he feared) if he helped not: and he had heard that there was a way which was right in the eyes of the Lord, and that the Lord could bring alone to the knowledge of it, and lead there in.  
Thus breathed the man before the Lord, and unto him, and frequented solitariness and lonelynes, and loved consideration, and hoped for Judgement and understanding, that he might know and do aright, and serve the Lord with an upright heart; continuing in his addresses before him: Oh that he knew the Lord, and his way and his will, that he might order his conversation a right before him, and enjoy the light of his countenance lifted up upon him.  
For by this time he had got a notion of a light, or that there was such a thing: given of God to man kind, but had not an understanding of it, or where it was, or the way of it, or its work and operation in man's heart; but thought them happy that did walk in the light of the Lord, and he would at times talk of such a thing, and of great matters (which in the Light of the Lord he beheld) far above his then state and condition; and please himself therewith for a while; but there being no root of life in them, nor proceeding from the effectual working of the light in him, but at most from a flash or glance thereof which might appear unto him at some times, to let him see, but did not possess; they vanished away, and every pleasant picture of his by little and little was defaced, and his images struck at, were shattered, and tumbled down, which he had had at some times some hopes in and comforted himself by reason of their pleasantness, which to him seemed in them.  
He had many inventions, desires and imaginations suggested into his mind, by the old flattering deceiver, who had before this got a seat in his heart; but notwithstanding all his insinuations and false promises, thereby to hold the man in the snares and darkness of his own kingdom; he the compassionate one, visit him in his tender love, and would not suffer his wound to be falsely healed, or daubed over deceitfully; so as he could not get rid of the smart and the wounding, which made him oft times to cry out, of the emptiness and unprofitableness of all his former ways and courses, as being weary of them, to this compassionate one; yet not knowing him, or that he was so near unto him, or ready to help him, as afterwards (when understanding had opened his heart, and the eye of his mind) he saw him to be; but contrary wise, looked upon him to be far off removed, in the heavens, he knew not where, but as men said, above the skies, at a distance and far remote; well, he thought that at the last salvation must come to his house from or by him, or else he must never be saved, and how to tarry for it (for he was in present necessitouss want) he knew not, and that occasioned the earnestness of his labour after it, being in a hunger, which could not be sustained with out it.  
So continued he in the pursuit thereof, by reading, by meditation, and loved to hear the conference thereof, and satisfied himself to be silent at such times, hat he might prove and try thereby; but was not yet submitted in his heart, to wait upon the Lord, that his arm alone might be salvation to him: therefore to his old ways and courses, and then thought him  again in a pretty good way, always propounding to himself, the knowledge of the Lord and his way, which if he could attain thereunto, and find out of by his search and inquiry, that then he would obey him, by walkeing according thereunto.  
Now on a certain day, in a retirement by himself, he takes a bible into his hands, and it was done in a kind of wearyness of all his former labours and persuits after the knowledge of the Lord, and at his opening of it, his eye fell upon a place (without seeking for it) which he had not acquainted himself with (that he remembered) before, and it was this the Lord is in his holy Temple, let all the earth keep silence before him; he fixed his eye upon the words as fast as he could, even with great earnestness, as accounting it pertinent to his purpose, and that thereby there might be a door opened of hope or direction for understanding, which he had sought for, for aught that he then knew, and seemed to be as answering to his present state and condition; whereupon he entered into the consultation concerning it, and that according to the best of his skill or judgement; that there by he might find out the matter, and arrive at such an effect (namely a resting place for his weary soul) as he had long been searching after; but alas, it shortly proved to be a leaning to his own, and not to the Lords help and assistance, for he took the way of the many foolish bvilders, and unprofitable talkers; for he would be at work still, a busy part acting in his mind (as Nimrod, the mighty Hunter before te Lord) not coming back to the voice behind him, or to learn, be still and know that I am God.  
But this was the way he went in, to consider the text and the chapter and whole Prophecy; and to open the word, and fetch forth the meaning, and the interpretation thereof: not contenting himself to be still, to wait to feel the Lords counsel and direction, and his presence and teaching, and the silenceing of the earth before him.  
And indeed the man, as yet (although he delighted at some times to be talking thereof) had learnt little, if ought of that, so as to abide there; yet he thought with himself, that there were many offering to their own net, and burning incense to their own yarn, but few that leaned upon the Lord, or that looked at him alone, as he began now to think that he did.  
Thus having for some time exercised his wits about the words, and marveling at the providence that had cast them before his eyes, he thought with himself now to be some body indeed, for that he did not cumber himself with wearisome and teadiouss labours, as formerly he had done, whilst he was running a broad, after men, their notions and conceptions, and with which he saw many enwrapped and lamentably in bondage.  
But whilst he thus concluded concerning himself, he was like one in a dream of eateing and drinking, and of having good and needful refreshment thereby; but soon he awakes, and instead of being fed and nourished, he feels pinching want, and wasting hunger to consume him, as if thereby he should be destroyed.  
Such was his case, for pawseing a little, and acquainting himself with consideration, in a kind of repose or silence, which he had got the notion of, and did at some times feel some real motion and inclination thereunto; the compassionate one, which waited to do him good, brought him back again, by his enquiring word, which remained within him, to his state and condition, and to the showing of him that, and to the feeling the wound, and the smart thereof, which formerly was made, when it was said unto him; Where art thou? and he began to sith and lament, and to wish for a hand or that hand, which could relieve him, marveling with in himself, that so great and continued a greiff and trouble should seize upon him, upon the occasion of them, or that thereby should be occasioned so incurable a grief as was in him, and under which he had so many years groaned.  
Thus as yet he kissed not the rod with the which he was smitten, nor yet did hear it, and him who appointed it; nor submitted to the hand of him that afflicted him; he thought still that his enemy, which broke his peace, and in the midst of his mirth and jollity, ministered sorrow and disconsolation to him.  
He had heard of the pleasant name of a Saviour, who had given his life a ransom for all men, and was willing to be ransomed and saved by him, according to the conceptions or belief which men had of the way thereof in the world; but to be made like unto him whom men gave vinegar and gall to drink, as those were who said, as he is, even so are we in this world, this no: not to touch witch him in his sufferings; he had read of his resurrection and of his crown of glory, he liked well that to enjoy, he being arisen out of his suffering state, into his father's glory; but the learn of him, to the taking up the daily cross, the crucifying to the world, and the affections and lusts of it; the being made conformable unto the death, and the bearing about in the body the die of the Lord Jesus, this was not in his thoughts; the other, the other; the right hand of God where are pleasures for ever more, that he looked for, and a river the streams where of makes glad the City of God; and had not a thought or expectation to the contrary; although it be said, that I come not to send peace on the earth but a sword; and if you be without correction whereof all are partakers, then are you bastards and not sons; that that and such things should be his from the Lord, and yet the dawning or breaking forth of the Light of the glorious day of Christ's coming was upon him, in which he could say he had no pleasure.  
For his vain expectations failed, and his peace fled far from him; the more he sought or desired after it; and his state the more miserable; no relief, no comfort, no help, nor none, nor nothing to rely upon: but on the contrary, daily wound and astonishments; so that he was ready to despair of being relieved, and to be an astonishment unto himself; secure there was none, nor help, every thing which might have efforded him of that kind, was fled from him; or so imbitterd, that nothing availed they to his refreshment, so that ha' was more ready to hid himself from the eyes of all men, in a secret cave or rock in the earth, thath there he might have ended his days in mourning and weepeing, then to have remained in the glory greatness and wisdom of this world, without the inheritance of him, whom his soul had so long searched after.  
But this could not do neither, nor none to him, nor nought remained, wherein he had hopes to obtain relief by; his hope as to that was gone, and his former lovers remained as gall and bitterness unto him; knowledge that vanished away, and experiences (which he formerly at times thought had been good, and beneficial unto him,) proved void and empty; and himself left in his wound, more than ever; in his smart, in his blood, and none to pity him, or to show redress unto him; then said he, I will lift up mine eyes unto thee, o thou that dwellest in the heavens; O that thou wouldst lead me in the way which is everlasting, that my poor afflicted and distressed soul may have a hideing place, a place of rest to lie down in, with the flocks of thy companions.  
But loathe he was to turn to him that smote him, as yet he had not learnt that. Neither did he think that that was done by him who would at last be salvation to him. So estranged is man's heart natuarly from the Lord, and to have faith and belief in him: his eye was a broad (like the fools) in the corners of the earth, and in the dark places thereof he sought for a habitation of quietness: but the Lord frustrated all those devices of his, that he might show unto him the vanity of his way, and the vexation by it; and bring him at last to wait upon him for his salvation; who hath said, look unto me all ye ends of the earth and be saved.  
Thus strove the old deceiver thereby to keep the man from bowing unto the Lord, and to stand at a distance, feed on, believe in, or give way to any thing rather than to him that afflicted him; and whose hand was come near unto him to chastise him for his iniquity, and to deliver him through obedience, and submission to his will, from the evil of his own heart: and thus wrought the compassionate one whose compassions failed not, and waited to be graciouss unto the Man (that his mind might be turned inward, and home again, to the Father's house, and the mantions of it; to know the holy Temple, and the Lord in it; and the earth to keep silence before him; and the City of the King, and the King in his Throne, and the Tower of David, and their glory strength and protection; which now he stood in alienation to, and astranger; in a desolate place of Dragons; with out a wall, in the open fields: and in this perplexed desolation, liable and in danger to be preyed upon by the beasts thereof, who said unto him; return unto me; the Man ready to answer who art thou, but the subtle one (whose Depths of Satan he had not known) by his easy access (as aforesaid) hastily steps in, to save his kingdom and strong-hold in the man's heart, said unto him, to whom; return unto me, to what; dost thou know? thereby to divert the man's mind, from a farther search and inquiry into the matter, or of acquainting himself with him whose voice uttered itself in the earth; and said, what wouldst thou be better than every one, or one of those that say to his neighbour, stand off, I am more holy than thou .... Thus industriouss this deceiver was, to hold his kingdom, standing armed to defend his house, and keep his goods in peace, as afterwards the man understood, when he was thereunto in lightened, by the light shineing out of darkness, which before he was with out knodlege of.  
Now the compassionate one ceased not to show himself, and great kindness unto the man, who had hearkened to the counsel and direction of a deceiver, an enemy, but masked, and pretending friendship: and met with disapointments and frustrations, in what ever he put forth his hand unto, in answer unto the motions of the deceiver for relief, and that which the man seemed to have of wisdom, knowledge and understanding, of faith, hope and experience, and of such good things, waxed old, vanished away and were come to an end (as hath been said) so that he thought himself as comfortless and as poor as Job was, for by the light of him that searched his heart, he saw he was empty and void, but of a nature and spirit, froward and perverse rather to tempt him (as Jobs wife) to curse God, then to live as he did: that was the truth of his then state and condition, as for dying, he would have been glad of that, and did rather seek it then otherwise, and thought that thereby he should be at quiet, and at rest; and that then an end would have been, of all his woeful afflictions, but as for cursing of God, he was afraid of that, of the thing which would be very wicked and provocking, and he knew himself to be wretched and miserable, and it was God's goodness and mercy, which perserved him from it.  
But through all and much more than hath been said, he could not flee or make escape from the hand of him that smott him; no city of refuge (although he sought for such a one) could he find: but smitings still came upon him, and afflicted and tossed he was, not comforted; rather to despair of relief, then knowing where to address himself for it; for all ways and means, men and Judgements, that his wit could think of, or any ways conceive, might prove advantagiouss to him; had he been inquisitive into, and proving; if at last he might attain unto the beloved of his soul; but men failed, men of note and learning failed; men of account and esteem, for experience, for sanctity, for great abilities and endowments failed; Ordinances, (which men cried up, and made so much a do about, crying down one another, and wearying themselves in a labyrinth of perplexities thereby) failed; self righteousness failed; disapointments came over all expectations; faith vanished away, hope-failed; and that which remained to the Man (more than ever) was his infirmity, his wound, his burden; so that he renewed his murning, his Lamentation, and said: Is there any sorrow like unto my sorrow? and wished that he knew a physician, a physician indeed, which could relieve him, and unburthen his soul, and give him an inheritance with the sanctified ones? with the called, and faithful and chosen in Jesus Christ.  
For so he had read, that there had been such, and that they inherited substance walking in the Light, as he is in the Light: but that which he inherited, was sorrow was mourning, was lamentation; and knew not a place, where on to lay his head in peace; being in darkness, a place of desolation.  
Thus he, as one over whellmed in sorrow, and one, whom the Lord had hedged up his way with thorns; in his deep mourning groaned forth his great misery, which the compassionate one made a time of love; and seeing every relief, succour, hope and help of his own failed, extended of his own dear succour and relief; even he who kills and makes alive; I have wounded thee, that I may heal thee: and there is none other God and Saviour, which can do this, which broke the man, and in which breaking still knew not what to do: being ready to say in the sight of his own woeful state, how can I escape destruction.  
And here may be remembered the case once of a people of old time called my people, who being in Egypt and greatly oppressed by the taskmasters who were set over them to afflict them, there God moved with compassion, to relief them, sent his servant Moses, to Pharaoh King of their great oppressions saying, Let my people go: who got passage through great Judgements, wrought by a mighty hand and an outstretched arm; but their enemies soon pursued after them, so that great destress and fear came upon them, because of the persuing of their enemies behind, and because of the sea, which was before, and unpassable hills on either side: and in this their Jeopardy of destruction: the servant of the Lord said unto them; Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord.  
Which passages, let all consider who breathes after the salvation of the Lord, without which nothing can prosper their souls, or give unto them satisfaction unto life; and that with seriousness humility and due regard, as unto that which affore time hath been written (for the sake of those, who afterwards should come to believe in him whom God hath sent a light into the world) to be fulfiled, in the fullfilling of which as they shall stand still, in God's due time and way, his salvation shall be known, and that beyond what formerly they could have believed, or hoped for.  
And the man giving himself up to be a little quiet, from all his former attempts and strive after his own deliverance, (by which none hath ever come to know God's salvation) here in he seemed as if he would have thrown himself upon the goodness and mercy of the Lord; and feel't himself in a little inward satisfaction and tranquillity of mind, beyond what before he had enjoyed, whilst in those teadiouss-wearisom labours and travels, he had been seeking by, to have come to a resting place for his soul; And so somewhat entered him concerning a still voice, which uttered itself ofttimes in his hearing in the earth, which the world was ignorant of, and which the wisdom of this world stood always in contradiction unto, and was alienated from, in which was more (as to those that obeyed, or diligently harkened thereunto) as to inward tranquillity and peace of mind; then was, in all the strength knowledge and understanding that was enjoyed, or could so be in the world, by the men thereof, in all there acquiring or industriouss labours therein: and there by all men were filled with vanity and vexation of spirit (in due time to be revealed in them) who cumbered themselves there with, or there in were pursuing after the knowledge of the Lord; for the mean time they (as well as himself had done) forsook the physician of true value, and forsook their own mercies; which (he said) he hoped now to a bide and continue with for ever.  
But nevertheless, so it came to pass, that in a short time, and suddenly the old subtle adversary (for by this time the man had cause enough so to look upon him to be) he with his cunning craftiness (as of old) draws his mind, from the holy visitation of his compassionate friend, which had received and believed, as conduceing to his satisfaction; so that instead of settling down, in heart and mind, into the holy operation of it, thereby to feel his deliverance, he steals away his heart therefrom, and begets him into a boasting, and exalting spirit, to talk of that his enjoyment; and thereby to a loss he came, and an abatement of the supply thereby, which he had some hopes of, whilst it manifested itself unto him, and he joining himself thereto, for its assistance and relief.  
And being made destitute thereof, by so doing, more than a knowledge in his brain and vain boasting; he soon felt the former misery to revive, which made him to groan within himself: as one, like unto a ship tossed in the troubled sea by the restless waves thereof, without a rudder, and in danger of perishing every moment.  
This made the man to recollect himself, whereby he saw not that subjection, fear and humility in his heart, which he was inclined to, by the former visitation: nor himself persecuteing that former desire of his, of casting himself upon the goodness and mercy of the Lord, that so he might know a settlement, in a habitation of quietness and peace.  
And begon to see and understand, that there was an adverse part, spirit or power in him unto his salvation, which did get and steal away his mind from waiting for it: And further, that there was also a Spirit principle or power in him, which wrought in his mind against the former, and him for joining to it; which broke his peace, and made those wound in his soul, from whence arose all those fears, distresses and miseries, which he had so long (in deepheart sorrow) groaned under; and from whence sprangfort those hopeful, and true refreshing beams of comfort, which he had at sometimes had some feeling of, and was good cause and encouragement unto him, further to wait thereon, as on that alone, which might work his deliverance.  
And in the consideration of this he some time was, and the Lords secret and still drawings of his mind inward, often visited him, to draw him to himself, from whence he was departed into folly: so that the man in tremblingwise, or broakeness, began to be, before the Lord, and to incline his heart to him, who before now had visited him, to his wounding: even he who searcheth the heart, and tryeth the reins had smitten him; that in everlasting kindness he mightly down and sorrow be removed from him. And as the compassionate one unvailed the man, and understanding began to reside with him, this was unto him, as if life had entered to the raising of him up above his former troubles; like unto a woman for joy that a man was born into the world; and remembering how he had been deceived (for he could not but with grief of heart reflect back on that) he began to have regard thereto, in more bowedness of spirit; lest that he also should lose the fruition of so great mercy: and therefore said, Let me know thee, O thou searcher of my heart, that I may obey thee, and deliver me from all my enemies, and that was it, which he was earnest for, and had his eye at, and hoped to enjoy: but it was in a hasty mind, out of true subjection and understanding, as those of old time who said, Lord wilt thou at this time restore the kingdom to Israel, so apt is man to make haste and not to wait resignedly upon the Lord, that his will might be done, and work effected in the earth.  
And it is to be noted (for so it came to pass) that as the man sunk down or bowed before the Lord, and breathed for the manifestation, and teaching of his holy power and Spirit, to effect and work there in his soul, according to the good will of his own tender goodness and compassion; that the Lord further enlightened his understanding, (although contrary to his own) giving him to see the darkness and confusion in which he was wrapped about, as with a mantle; and fettered as with chains of Iron, where at fresh cause of lamentation and mourning arose in him, in consideration of that enmity, disobedience and rebellion that he had lived in indayes by past, against his maker; for of this he was persuaded in his mind; who before now thought, that although he had not spent his time so citcumspectly, or with such holy consideration and sobriety, as he should or ought to have done: yet far was it from him to think or believe, that he had so far fallen short of his duty, or so far been alienated from his Maker, as now he began to be convinced that he had, and was.  
And concluded that it had been well for him, to have remembered his Creator in the days of his youth, and not to have spent so much of his pretiouss time, in such idleness & vanity, according to the evil course of this world, as he had done; which if he had not harkened unto, nor inclined his heart to follow after; but had sought after the Lord to know him, according to his early visiting of him to return unto him, to walk before him in his holy fear, he had come to know (with those which so do) no great travel; for it's said, that wisdom preventeth those which early seek her, by first showing herself unto them; and he did really believe the same, and hath since seen the fullfilling so it in many, who hath sought after her betimes.  
But as the Light of the Lord did arise and shine forth in him, letting him to see things which differed from it, this caused him to confess his guilt before the Lord; he could in no wise deny or extenuate it, for he read it in his own conscience, which stood as an everlasting record against him; and now he thought himself in a more desperate and distressed condition then ever before; for he could not speak for himself, he could not call for mercy, he was afraid to lift up his eyes to heaven, the pressure of his own iniquity lay so heavy upon him; neither knew he how to eat or drink, possess or enjoy; he was afraid and his fear increased day by day; for understanding was given unto him, and the revealation of his wretched and deploreable state in measure stood open and bare before him: So gloriouss was the outgoings of the Lord, in the removing the veil of his heart, so as if he needed not any one to accuse him, or to lay things to his charge, or to make him guilty in his own eyes; And as he saw himself at first deceived, so now how forward he had been to yield to the deceiver, which stood as an aggravation of his former evils, in which he had lived.  
Thus saw he, that he stood in covenant with hell and death, and alienated from God, in enmity and ungodlyness; or as that of Solomon, when he thus concluded, I said in my heart concerning the estate of the sons of men, that God might manifest them, that they might see, that they themselves are beasts.  
Whilst thus he stood, what to do he knew not, was ready to loathe and abhor himself, and to wish that he had never been born; for the book which was opened was as a thousand witnesses, he saw he could no ways evade its record and testimony, no escaping no fleeing from it; and what he read therein, he read it all to be against and not for him, nor no ways tending to his relief, that he could see, but the contrary.  
For as for those things whereby he might have had hope, as the receiving of him whom God had sent, in the ministration of a wakening conviction, and drawing near in true holy subjection thereunto: and those good things of his before spoken of, which could not stand or remain with him to his support, in this the day of the appearance of the son of God in clouds: because his work was, (and for ever is) to make a decision for the Lord in the righteous judging and scattering of these things, which had not been effected or wrought by his holy Spirit, who hath said, without me you can do nothing: but were produced and taken up (as before hath been said) to seek and obtain life by, and not acting or working from it, so was climbing up a wrong way, and not striveing to enter into the true sheepfold at the right door; so that when he came to have need indeed, his Lamp proved without oil, for so he saw himself to be, as the heart searcher found him out, to lay waste the inheritance of the wicked for ever.  
So that an anchor to have held his soul by, in this the day of his sore troubles and afflictions, he had not, nor nought to defend himself withal therein, but was found out to be by him, (who is the Amen, the faithful and true witness, whose eyes are as a flame of fire) naked and blind and miserable; darkness and ignorance filling his heart, and the woeful effects thereof; and what to do more he knew not; for the revelation of this his destitute and forsaken state; and the opening his heart in the manifestation thereof, and bringing things forth into his remembrance; and setting them before his face; all this and what ever might besaid of that kind, was not deliverance, it was but manifestation; not a setting him at liberty from the night, and the chain of it; neither a setting him at the table of the Lord, to eat of the flesh of Christ, and to drink of the consolateing wine of the Kingdom; but the ripping open of his corrupted heart, that he might learn to know himself, and what it was to go from the Father's house, to feed himself with husks amongst swine.  
And herein, in measure was the great love of God manifested unto him, in not suffering him to go on in his former ways and courses, until those things which belonged to his peace had been hid from his eyes.  
Thus the Lord proceeded with him, and then the vials of wrath was not poured forth, nor the recompense and reward in flames of fire from heaven, to execute vengeance on that ungodly nature and Spirit, which he had cleaved to and lived in, and thereby had been adulterated from his maker; Of these things he knew not as yet, as afterwards, when the day burned as an Oven, to consume the stubble and the dross, in which day (he might have said) who shall abide, or who shall dwell with devoureing fire? The man died in greiff unutterable, and such sorrow as never was before; nor can demonstration and greatest utterance tell of, as he shall know, who thereunto shall be brought, by the righteous correcting hand of the Lord, when he will be eased of his adadversaries, and avenged of his enemies, in which day the Lord will judge with fire.  
Some times whilst sorrow hath filled his heart, and perplexity his Spirit, by reason of the disquietness and trouble which was there; he hath walked into the fields, and seen allthings in a sweet serene calm, scarcely a leaf of a tree to stir, he hath been affected therewith, and said with in himself, the creation is more happy than I, which is at rest in its place, from such storms and tempests, as he was filled with: and wished and desired that he might know so great a calm inwardly, as those creatures outwardly did enjoy; for he concluded surely a blessed state it would be unto him, who now was filled with restless thoughts and greiffs, as the sea is troubled when the mighty winds rolleth the waters thereof on heaps, for than he should know tranquillity of mind, and rest in the holy one; which nothing but his power could say be still, and effectually work it for him; for all his attempts had proved short, and whilst he was striveing was disappointed, and so in sorrow lay.  
Thus was it with the poor and comfortless man, who in misery was and distress; good things was removed away from him, and his pretended friend manifested to be his enemy, a bad one indeed, for so he thought him now to be, who through all his pretences, deceive and flatteries sought his ruin and destruction; but how to get rid of him out of his heart (for there he had seated himself) and to redemption and salvation (the thing which all along was in his eye) he knew not.  
And thus lay the man in his grief and the terrors of the Lord revealing in him, because of his transgressions; And so gloriouss and dreadful was the Majesty thereof, that he exceedingly feared and trembled; and how help should come unto him, or when, or never, he knew not, he was a afraid to look to the Lord (as hath been said) or to hope for his help, for with what (thought he) shall I look, I who am in a state rather to grieve and vex the Lord, rather than to hope or trust in him and to rebel against him and transgress, rather to curse then to bless his holy Name; well if it be thus with me (said he) as it is, and surely so it was with him, as the Prophet said; that as every battle of the warrior is with confused noise and garments rolled in blood, so this is with burning and devoureing fire; then in a bed of sorrow I am, out of which I can not arise; but oh that I might be helped and releived I even I who am without comfort or relief, like unto the poor destitute people of old time, who for many days were with out a King, and without a Prince, and without an offering, and without an image, and without an Ephod, and without Jerraphim, but afterwards it's said of them, that they should seek the Lord and David there King.  
Now although it was a lamentable state and condition, yet it might be, it was possible with the Lord, that at the last, he might know the repairer of breaches, and the restorer of paths to dwell in, and that at last he might come to walk in the Light of the Lord, (with his ransomed one's) and be taught of his ways; and to know his secrets, as those did, who feared his holy Name; For Job was miserable, when he scraped his sores with a potsherd, and the Lord restored him; and David cried long and sought the Lord, and at last he said, that the Lord had heard him, and granted unto him his request; so that he in trust in the Lord said, surely mercy and goodness shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever, so dearly did the Lord for ever, so dearly did the Lord engage his heart unto him: And Paul cried out: O wretched man that I am, and yet afterwards he said, that the Law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus, had set him free from the Law of Sin and death, which was the great occasion (the Law of Sin and death having dominion over him) of his wretched woeful state; and many others which he had read of, and said why not I, why should not I partake of the goodness and mercy of the Lord, as well as they, for he concluded that neither they nor yet any that did partake thereof (which is the benefit that comes by Jesus Christ) had more need of it, feelingly then he had.  
Thus he entertained a belief into his heart, and said that he hoped the Lord was the same to day as yesterday; even a God gratiouss and merciful pardoning iniquity and sin for his own name sake; and that is arm was not shortened, that he could not bring forth deliverance, as of old time; and therefore said, that he would hope although it were but a little (lest he also should be cut of through unbelief, as those who fell short thereby) and though he found in himself little or no cause for it, but his necessity; I'll hope and I'll wait (said he) although it be against hope, there may be some what in it, more than I know at present. This was when he in the deep sense of his state, stood as one broken and poured forth before the Lord, in tears and sorrow days and nights; and he must have it freely and of good will or not at all; and in mercy and loving kindness; for he had nought but misery and necessity to part with; being naked and bear before him, for his cover wear rend, and he remained as empty and void of any thing, which should have been life or refreshment unto him. Now he had read thus, I counsel thee to buy of me white raiment that thy nakedness may not appear, and that thy shame may be covered, and in such a state of need he was, and necessity; unto which that counsel was given; and he had tried many sellers, and many merchants, whose merchandise he found answered not to relieve him, in his necessity; and their garments were too short to cover his nakedness with all; and having essayed for relief where by he might have had hopes, and not walked too and fro under the subjection of disconsolation and amazement; he thought at the last, by the conduct of a secret still and inward virtue, that he must buy enjoy and possess that covering, which can hid and be sufficient thereunto, from the storm in God's sight, of him which searched his heart, and tried his reins, which brought to light the thingh of profane Esaw, and that stretched forth the rod of Justice and Jugment, upon the back of the fool, which had said in his heart, there is no God; and that as it is written, he stood at the door, and had long there stood knocking, that he might be opened unto, and come in; and this he could not deny but must confess, although he had an ear, and did often hear him knocking, yet strove he against him, and was loath to yield or submit thereunto, through the unbelief and hardness of his heart, begotten in him, by his false and deceitful adversary, then disguised like a friend.  
But now his necessitous state, and deplorable condition enforced him (such constraint had the love of God upon his soul) to receive him in, that he might and his father come in also and sup with him, and he with them; so the man expected the supper, the food, the refreshment; the covering and salvation: and thought it no more than so, so alienate and estranged was he from the right way of the Lord in darkness and ignorance; but otherwise he found it to be, as at a certain time the Lord said unto him, when in a sad bewilderd state he was; I will lead thee by a way which thou knowest not, and so it came to pass, an unknown way it was, wherein he never could make a right or straight step, but as his mind inwardly was directed, by the guidance & hand of his holy power; no longer could he see his way, or the path in which he was with safety to tread; that so he might have hopes at last to pass through into the desire of his soul; but as his heart was fixed in reliance upon the Lord, out of all his own strive motion's and contrivances. And so the opening of the door was to be, which his own hardness of heart and unbelief stood against, before that he that stood at the door and knocked could get in, and the crookedness and perverssnes, that the way of the Lord might be prepared, and his entrance in be through faith in him; and thus the voice of a burning and shining Light cried, prepare the way of the Lord, make his path straight.  
Thus the doing of all those forementioned lets and hindrances away, and leagues and covenants with hell and death must be parted with, broken and made void, and that by him & his assistance, who comes with his fan in his hand, thoroughly to purge his floor; till when no supper could be enjoyed, although here a little and there a little of the crumbs thereof, might fall down unto him, by way of encouragement, and to teach him, that worthy was the Lord to be waited upon, and sought after, in the way of his Judgements.  
For so began they to be manifested with in him as a refiners fire, as fullers soap; the burning heat whereof and sharp pierceing, made him to fear exceedingly, that the wheat would have been consumed with the chaff, that his small hopes, which did arise in him, from the experience he had, as in the twinkling of an eye beheld, of the mercy of the Lord; and weak resolution, and himself must for ever have been consumed, in its gloriouss and righteous workings; thus was he filled with dread and fear before the Lord, and the ariseings of his gloriouss power.  
And Moses saw a bush burning with fire, and the bush not consumed thereby; and Moses turned aside to see that great sight; and the Lord spoke from out there, and said unto him: put of thy shoes from of thy feet, for the ground where on thou stands is holy, and Moses hide his face, and was afraid to look upon God. And the man said, that he saw that his feet was not to be shod with his own shoeing, but with the preparation of the gospel of peace, or he could not make straight steps with his feet on the holy ground.  
And he had read of some that turned a side like a deceitful bow, and that joseph's bow abode in his strength, and he was renowned and stood in a blessed and holy record, amongst the ancient worthies of the Lord, who thorough faith subdued Kingdoms, of weak were made strong, obtaineing throw faith a good report: and the man said, Well, if the Lord will destroy me for ever, my mouth is stopped: he could not raise a defence for himself, he dared not to complain, for he had sinned against him, and saw that he must bear his indignation, whither or not that ever he knew an end, or redemption out of it.  
His distress and misery was great, which those not acquainted with the judgements of the Lord, that proceeds out of his mouth as consumering fire (as David said) can not believe, although told unto them, by those who have been acquainted with them, and travelled through the way thereof.  
But at last it pleased the Father of mercies, according to the counsel of the working of the Lord in his wisdom and goodness, to instruct the man, and wrought in his mind, to cause him to lie down in his will, and submit himself to the rod of his chasticeing hand, which as he yielded himself thereunto, he felt some what working, and enlargeing, or opening itself unto his encouragement; whereby he in some hopes began to say: True and righteous are thy Judgements, and that if he perished everlastingly, from beholding his face with joy, and his salvation, yet he must and would justify him and his righteous judgements for ever more, and after this he felt a joy to spring in him, and to feel some Spirit to revive, and did at some times seem as if he saw some glimpses of a great glory (as a far off) and of a heavenly Arm, and that there was salvation in it; but could not get to it, he thought if he could, and therein continue, that the winter would be passed, and the time of refreshing from the Lords presence would be come, and the hearing of the voice of the turtle, where in his tears would be wiped away (according to the Prophet) and that the sorrowing and sithing would flee away, and instead thereof joy and rejoiceing would be, which he longed for, having some expectation or belief in him, that the ancient Prophecies, were many of them as really to be fulfiled in these latter days, as ever they were at first spoken forth, and that because of the unchangeable faithfulness and goodness of the Lord.  
But now he rather ran into haste, then to run the race which he saw in measure set before him, and that was to wait for God's salvation; for without that manifestly he saw, salvation he could never attain to; seeing all his former ways and courses proved ineffectual to him; and no ways advantageous; and he rejoiced in some measure, and was glad in the beholding of it, although it seemed to be, and was a far of, and not brought near unto him; and earnest he was to inherit it, and not to lie in the fire for the utter consummation of the dross, and thorough purgeing of the floor: and so earnest indeed the man was, and in hastiness of Spirit, that he had all most lost his submission to the will of the refiner, and instead of waiting patiently upon him, to hear what he would speak to him, and to see what he would do for him, who is the mighty Counsellor, and of whom he had read, that he would speak comfortably to Jerusalem, and peace to his people, who feared his Name, notwithstanding he was for takeing the Kingdom (some thing of his old practice and endeavours) not considering, that he ought not to make haste, nor to fly with the swift, and cry as some did, Nay, we will flee upon horses (such whirling Notions men chose, rather than to bow before the Lord, that he might be exalted Lord and King over all his ever.)  
Now the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, thus the man had read, and so there was another lesson that he was to learn, and that was as an honest Prophet of the Lord once said, In returning and in rest you shall be saved, in quietness and confidence is your strength; which the Apostle answered unto, when he said, The Lord direct your hearts into the Love of God and into the patiented waiting for Jesus Christ: That he might know & feel therein, that the Lords Arm alone brought salvation, and that he might have nought nor none to glory in but the Lord, who for his own mercy sake dothsave & deliver. Thus he was to turn off his haste, and not to take the Kingdom by force, but to feel the meek peaceable Prince thereof, to lead him into it, and to give him therein a portion and privilege, amongst the Princes, upon the Throne of judgement and mercy for ever. And thus learned the man again to return in his mind, into the enlightening opening light of the Lord, which in his heart was as a fire and a flame, and to resign up unto it, to feel the effect thereof, which he hoped might be at the last blessed and greatly advantagiouss to the stay and comfort of his then grieved mind; as others had enjoyed before him, whom the Lord had lead by his own right arm, into a habitation of joy and salvation.  
But notwithstanding all this, he again fell to contriving of a speedy way and to wish for the enjoyment of that, which before this time by way of encouragement had visited him; to teach him, that not by might nor strength, but by the Spirit of the Lord and its holy leading and teaching, he was to hope for, and enjoy his deliverance; And the voice sounded in his ears be still, according to what he had read in Habbakuk: Let all the earth keep silence before him.  
Here upon he again inclined to sink down in his Spirit, unto the messenger of the Lords glorious holy power revealed with in him, and there to abide and endure in patience of mind and Spirit, for its holy purpose and work to be wrought in the earth, that it also might be replenished, and bring forth its increase to the Lord.  
Whereupon he said, O Lord! lead me on in the way which is clearing, for to the day of claering thou knowest that I have earnestly desired, (with desire of spirit) to come, and now I am in some measure come, throw thy drawing, by thy blessed hand held forth unto me; O Lord God of mercy and compassion, guide thou my feet, and uphold me by thy free Spirit, that in that thy holy way, which is the way of the blessed, and of the ransomed ones, I may be kept and perserved.  
Yet still again and again, the old deceiver and adversary of the soul's blessedness, at divers times and on divers occations, threw some thing or other into his way, that thereby he might stumble and fall, or be discouraged and offended; so that he might grow weary and not hold out, but faint and go backward, and not forward, and to seek for relief amongst his old lovers and acquaintance; or might dig to himself a cistern for water which could hold none, or take some other way or means for his deliverance; and here with the man was so besett by the adversary, to divert his course, and to draw him back again to perdition, and from following on to the salvation of his soul, as is beyond utterance.  
And can not be declared or believed, as experience and the same state condition, worketh the understanding of it.  
And in that day, when man if so surrounded by the devoureing enemy, as it is said of him, he goes about like a roaring Lion, compassing the earth to and fro, seeking whom he may devour; he must make God alone his trust and hope and deliverer, eyeing him in steadfastness of heart and mind, and not the adversary, whose labour it is to draw the mind away after him, and his fear; or else out there he can never come, to know the deliverance and salvation, which Jesus Christ is to all those that abides with him, in the faith and hope of Gods elect, but must be preyed upon, and led into destruction for ever.  
Now as this deceiver thus lay in wait and wrought to ensnare and beguile the man, so all so the compassionate one, ceased not to visit, and secretly convey his help unto him; and often it would be in his remembrance, that he that putteth his hand to the plough and then loock back, is not meet for the kingdom of heaven, which he had so earnestly desired to enjoy; neither was he that sowed sparingly, to expect plentifully to reap, but if he did so hope to do, he would deceive himself, and be as those that feed on ashes; for in stead of having a harvest of well filled sheaves, with hanging ears of corn, he would at last reap the wind, and be disappointed, as those who began in the spirit, and would be made perfect by the flesh, or sought so to be.  
So that now he began to learn to give up to the fire which burned, and to the hammer which broke him down, in as much as might be quieting himself, and submitting, as that which was most proper for him, in this his great suffering state, and entertained a fear in his heart, lest that he should offend the Lord again by turning from his Judgements, which were executing in him, and from the terror and righteousness thereof; and therefore again cried out unto the Lord, and said: O Lord, I pray thee, since I have prayed to see thy day and its glory, and that thou hast in thy great loving kindness, brought me into the glorious dawnings and break forth thereof, let not thy way be too narrow or straight for me; let me not turn a side to the flocks of thy companions, but as they went down by the steps of the flock, to the washing, and returned by the tents of the shepherds, upon the banks of salvation, so I also into the holy habitation of thy heavenly rest, may be brought by thine own right arm, in the way (& through it) of condemnation, at last to sit down in the ministration of life, to behold thy face in thy exceeding glory in joy and peace; and teach me to apply my heart to wisdom (which is hid from all the wise of this world) for thou knowest that it is wisdom alone of thee which I crave, to direct my feet a right in thy sight.  
And that was the thing which he wanted & alone desired of the Lord, and thought with himself, that he mattered not what he parted with; or how or what he was in the account, or eyes of the world, so that he might find rest. And thus having made some progress, in the blessed race of eternal life; & having in him a Judgement and understanding (according to that experience of the effectual working of the grace of God in him) he adviseth all, who is (in any measure) awakened into the sense of their want of the knowledge of God, and of his great love in Jesus Christ, and of their own woeful and miserable estate thereby; that they abide in submission unto the Lord therein, and not seek to themselves ways and means, thereby to work their own deliverance; but in long and groan in their Spirits, travel after the desire of their souls; that so the Lord (in his own blessed way and time) may open a door of understanding in their hearts, for their acces unto him; and strive not by unlawful ways and courses after redemption, or an admission into the holy Kingdom, whereinto nothing that defiles, or is managed by man's skill or hand may come; for many have striven and not entered; and asked, and have not received; because they have asked amiss, and not striven lawfully.  
Therefore feel the Lords heavenly arm and power to arise and work deliverance, and propound not to thyself an easy way of accessing to the flesh, into the holy habitation of his eternal life; for it must be by the sword, the Judgement determined must be fulfiled, and the fullfilling must be according to the counsel and righteous will of the Lord, to whom, who may say, what dost thou?  
And abide his pleasure, and let his Kingdom come into thy heart as he pleaseth; if it be by a thundering power from heaven, to cleave the rocks asunder, and rending the veil thereby of from thy hard heart, with astonishments, amazements and confounding to thy vain confidence and expectation. Be still, be still before the Lord, and before the glorious ariseings of his holy power; that he may work his work in the earth, & that will praise him and deliver thy soul; & hereby alone shalt thou know, and come to witness the Lords ransom: for it is his and not thine, and inherit that which thy soul languish in want off.  
And those who are come to the redeeming power of the Lord, and to the knowing of redemption in any measure, and the feeling the judgement thereof; for so it must be, Zion is redeemed by judgement; lie down, lie down; and flee not for thy life, for if thou dost thou wilt lose it: and in that day, seek not to escape, but let this be the travel of thy soul, in bowednes of Spirit to submit unto him, that thou mayst feel that mind and to be of it, which can say, true and righteous are thy judgements o Lord, for thou judgest for the poor and needy of the earth.  
Thus shalt thou know the effect of righteousness, peace and assurance for ever, and the oil of gladness, making thy face to shine with the innocent life and spirit of the Lamb, and by no other means, no other way.  
These things are verified by a cloud of witnesses, who stands in an everlasting record of blessedness and life eternal, which the holy Scriptures testified gained a good report, for they entered into that their Master's joy through believing in him whom God had promised to raise up, who saw his day and rejoiced, and it was reckoned unto them for righteousness; who died in the faith, and although dead yet speak; And unto us hath God fulfiled his promise, and in due time sent forth his son, in the word of eternal life unto all those who believe in his name, and that follow him in the regeneration and renewing Spirit of life and righteousness; not in the talk thereof, a cheat which too to much abounds in the world, but to know him, and the fellowship of his sufferings, and the being made conformable unto his will, who come not to do his own will but the will of him that sent him (until that thou be translated from death to life) which will is the sanctification of all those which are obedient in their hearts unto him. So if thou say that thou love him, keep his comandements, let them not be greivious unto thee, run the way thereof with delight (as David) how do I love thy comandements: Men make void thy Law, but I will keep thy Law, hid not thy comandements from me.  
This is the raee thou art to run, these are the marks of the true runners, therefore so run as that thou mayest obtain, to inherit life; and bear about in thy body the marks of the Lord Jesus, and his faithful followers, who follows him whither so ever he goes; as believing that it is enough for them to be as their Lord, who loved them, and gave himself a ransom for them and all men, to be testified of in due time; and this is the consolation and the great rejoicing, that the testifycation thereof many are made witnesses, and the ransom is known, and the deliverance is come; and many have, and many shall sit down in the blessed inheritance of it, in the heavenly Mantions in Christ Jesus, with Abraham, with Isaac and Jacob; waiteing and travelling for the coming in of that Number, which shall be gathered to the Lord, and to his standard, to reign with him on Mount Zyon, in the heavenly Jerusalem, the place of blessedness, world without end. Amen.  
The writer of these things, saith that they are written in the great Love of God, for the sake of those who wants the consolation of Israel, and would gladly walk in the heavenly way thereof, if they knew it; that they may hereby take notice and have a view, of the foot steps of the man, and the way of the Lord with him, to take him of from the wild and evil ways and courses of the world; that so he might lead him to hat hope, which is as an anchor to the soul, that his heart might be fixed and he trusting in the Lord, (as David said, My heart is fixed, o God, my heart is fixed) until he should see his desire upon his enemies.  
T. B.  
FINIS.   

Errata.  

Pag. 2. in 15. for all which his: Read: all which this  
Pag. 5. l. 14. for for weigh: R. way.  
Pag. 8. l. 24. for the thought: R. he thought.  
Pag. 8. l. 45. for compossionate: R. compassionate.  
Pag. 9 l. 10. for what have might: R. what might.  
Pag. 11. l. 19 for find out of by: R. find out by.  
Pag. 12. l. 26. for whitch: R. with.  
Pag. 12. l. 28. for but the learn: R. but to learn.  
Pag. 12. l. 45. for thath: R. that.  
Pag. 13. l. 1. put out: nor none to him.  
Pag. 13. l. 39 for knodlege: R. knowledge.  
Pag. 15. l. 29. for which had: R. which he had.  
Pag. 15. l. 42. for persecuting: R. prosecuting.  
Pag. 16. l. 4. for sprangfort: R. sprangforth.  
Pag. 18. l. 30. for and to: R. and come to.  
Pag. 19 l. 9 put out: so dearly did the Lord.  
Pag. 19 l. 39 for thingh: R. things.  
Pag. 22. l. 25. for as experience: R. but as experience.  
Ditto. for state condition: R. state and condition.  
Pag. 22. l. 44. for be quieting: R. by quieting.