Mutatus Polemo.  
THE Horrible Stratagems of the Jesuits, lately practised in England, during the Civil-Wars, and now discovered by a Reclaimed Romanist: employed before as a Workman of the Mission from his Holiness.  
Wherein the Royalist may see himself Out-witted and forlorn, while the Presbyterian is closed with, and all to draw on the Holy Cause.  
A Relation so particular, and with such exquisite Characters of Truth stamped upon it, that each of our three grand Parties may here feel how each others Pulses beat.  
ALSO A discovery of a Plot laid for a speedy Invasion.  
By A. B. NOVICE.  In scelus addendum scelus est, in funera funus. 
Published by special Command.  
LONDON, Printed for Robert White. 1650.   

To the Right Honourable the Lord Precedent BRADSHAW.  
My LORD,  
SOme men meanly qualified have adventured Dedications of mean Pieces unto Princes; but my impudence, I fear, transcends theirs; for indeed it would better become me with a Rope about my neck to dedicate myself to your Justice, than this piece to your Patronage: My Lord, I have deserved death, but you know my retractations; and if acknowledgements of my former offences against this State may make any expiation, I beseech you to believe I have been ingenuous: I present this to your Lordship, not to inform you, but to disabuse the people, for more of these Conspiracies than is revealed here is already known to you: but since men falling off from a party, create enmities, and dangers to themselves, as I now expect to do, I cannot propose a more undaunted pattern to myself, or desire a more Heroical Patron to this Pamphlet than yourself. You my Lord, have dared in a strange time to judge between a King and a Kingdom; and like a wise Solomon you have (and yet without division) divided the true living child to its own Mother. You have gone on gallantly, and not like those other scorned Judges, who now appear upon the Bench again, but durst not sit there when the grand Case was to be decided; those that hated you, now fear you, and those that feared you before, now begin to honour you, and believe you could not have gone on so, but that you are invisibly prompted by a more than ordinary Power. You are now fixed in an Orb above mean enmities, and we that are below, fear our enemies the less for your sake. In this I flatter not, and even this blunt story I hope will testify me to be a man free from adulation: for here I spare no man, nor party that falls within my Verge; Here most parties may see themselves, how they are packed and shuffled for an after game, which is speedily to be played; the Royalist, and the Presbyterian both may here see, if they please, that the Cards are to be dealt by other hands than theirs. See what complotings, what hurliburlies, what heart-burnings here are, whilst some fond men make it their main hope, and ambition to undo themselves; because, forsooth, they will needs take their enemies for friends, and friends for enemies. Now the Spanish are landing here, the French there: now the Scots have fifty thousand men to affront Cromwell, and yet can spare Massey ten thousand more to take in Carlisle.  populi folia omni vento, sic populi corda hinc inde omni rumore moventur. In the mean time, my Lord, God blesses your pious Cause, and your pious Cause procures you a gallant Armado at Sea, a victorious Army in Ireland, another as numerous in Scotland, a powerful Militia remaining besides in England; neither is money, nor courage, nor unanimity wanting to all these. Your enemies now have nothing to hope, but that confidence in your wealth and strength will undo you: O herein let your evil counsellors be made good ones to you. But soft, I become a trespassor upon your precious time, and I should beg pardon both for this fancy Dedication, and rude Excursion, but that I have pardon to beg for greater offences, and am not thereof as yet sufficiently assured. Only if that pardon may not be granted to words, let it be obtained by the constant future good comportment of  
My Lord, The most real Servant of England's Law, and particularly your Honours. A. B. NOVICE.   

Reader,  
THou distrustest perhaps, this piece, which is now presented to thy view, that it is a Romance, or a mere figment. But I assure thee 'tis not so, for some of our greatest Statesmen know the reality of these things already: and thou shalt ere long, by another more serious tract, which is now in fitting for the Press, receive a fuller confirmation. I will not call this an history, but a miscellany rather of some passages historically written, and it chief contains Scotch and French Transactions, together with the eminent inter-actings of the Pontifical party; and sometimes I have made mention of myself, whom I hope thou shalt be better acquainted with hereafter. In the mean time know, that I am of a sanguine complexion, and though I can in some degree pity the miseries of the Cavalier, and the knavery of the Presbyter, yet I am more apt to laugh at their fooleries with Democritus, then to weep for them with Heraclitus. I have been likewise at Rome, but could never swallow down all her Fopperies; amongst all the miracles there, I never thought any of them was a true one, but that wise men should believe in their truth. Yet I was much bewitched with the pomp of that religion, and had died a zealous votary for it, but that God by an Incomparable 
* Mr G. of C. C. in Oxf.  Divine sent a spirit of conversion upon me. And now I hope to take the Ministry upon me, and so draw others to God, by showing them the strange work of God upon myself. Some will object against my stile, as was once against Erasmus, and say, that it is more vain than becomes a Divine, and more satirical than becomes a Christian: but consider the subject, and thou wilt say 'tis not unsuitable thereunto.  
Siquis est qui dictum in se inclementius  
Existimavit esse, sic existimet.  
I look for no favour at any parties hands, the whole world hath no engagement upon me, so highly am I independent; yet if any moderate man shall be offended at my lightness, or tartness, to Him I will submit, and promise amends in my next more secret, and more solid discourse. Read therefore, and censure, but rest confident, what thou readest here is true, and that I have written it partly to exonerate my conscience of the guilt of an Incendiary, contracted upon my soul for some years last passed, and partly to make some amends to my poor dilacerated Country. I am as fearful of poisoning the world with untruth as any man can be, I know well.  
Qui librum perniciosum edendum promovet,  
Sibi cibum in Inferno edendum praeparat.  
Let us therefore pass on to the matter.  
Haec legate & tristis Censor castusque sacerdos.   

Reader, In the last page of this book but one, in line 31. for Friends, read Feuds.   

FOr the indagation and redemption of Truth out of many dark counsels, black enterprises and fatal accidents, (that so through the fair perspective of my experience, and knowledge, others may attain to the discovery of things, that now lie buried in deep vaults, below the guesses of ordinary men) I shall begin a relation about the wars ending, at least when the same drew towards its declension.  
The late King was for his obstinacy by some judged constant; but indeed he was one, that if he hated any man, he would never be perfectly reconciled to him, nor moved by his persuasions, though never so convincing: and yet if he loved any men (as he did sometimes for his own ends) he was almost servile to them, and for their sakes he would be almost commanded to forsake his own judgement, and knowledge. He was of himself fierce-harted, and subtil-headed, as his enemies felt soarly, when he was left to himself: but to his flatterers, viz. his only friends, when they pleased to charm him, he was weak both in resolution, and judgement. So absolute a Master he was nevertheless 
Rustum omnium legum privata principis voluntas.  of dissimulation, that doubtless therein he far exceeded Tiberius, and by this art he could, when he saw occasion, close with the most mortal of his enemies, and cast off the most meritorious of all his friends: and this he often did when the face of his affairs changed, and required such a change in him. And though there were some (such as his Queen, and some others who in his opinion could not have several interests from his) that did wonderfully awe him, and could drive him always from his best resolutions: yet there were none at all, whom he could not dissemble withal, and reject, if he once suspected them contrarily interessed to his ultimate ends of Tyranny; hence it is that the world is so strangely divided about him: some men that knew him only by his favours, and viewed him at a distance, canonize him for a Saint, and Martyr, and scarce allow him second to Jesus Christ: whilst others who were disobliged by him, and viewed him at a nearer distance, damn him with Judas, charge him with the blood of 500000. Christians, of poisoning his Father, of betraying those of his own religion in France, and Germany, and of being guilty of perjury, and perfidy beyond all example. This Charles, when Oxford began to grow unsafe, and he saw he was put to his last refuge, knew it concerned him to perform his masterpiece, which was in plain downright terms, to deceive his own deceiving friends, by deserting them: and betaking himself to his first professing enemies, the Scots, whom he judged of all men the most notorious, and everlastingly perfidious. He fretted belike, and was stung to the quick, (his intelectuals being amused, and not so well able to order him) that he must now act a King's part more Scenically, and not with that rigour as he was wont: but according to the instructions of his old Court morals, he held any delusive plot honourable that might accomplish his designs, and so without further reluctance he thought to play the pawn of a King, so he might give check at last to the English victorious Liberty. He went not to the Scots, as imagining them more true or generous than the English: but because he knew the Scots were more easy to be wrought upon, & divided from their fellow Covenanters, than the English. Besides, the peevish humour of revenge raged in him, and this was the direct road that leads to public mischief: otherwise being to make use of deceitful instruments for deceits sake, he would have doubted, and feared that over reaching at last, which he found. 'tis verily thought if he had cast himself upon the ingenuity of the English, and not totally lost their hearts by thus preferring the Scots before them, he might have easily out-witted them, and that his own judgement had advertised him so, had not ends of further embroiling his three Kingdoms, and effunding more humane blood overswayed him.  
Howsoever, we the more active Catholics of his party (not then privy to the secret negotiations betwixt him and Montril) thought his deserved ruin was at that time inevitably approaching: and being left not to the wide world, but to the narrow limits of begirt Garrisons, we immediately consulted what course was to be steered. Jam res ad restim rediit, we saw a shrewd declension attending us, and we saw as apparent a tergiversation, or neutrality amongst ourselves, after we had felt one an others pulses. This was plain to us, we could no longer serve our Catholic ends, by serving a Prince so far tottering, and who made nothing less than Religion, nothing more than Tyranny his last object, and design.  
Now might you have seen whole swarms of us, creeping & crowding into those places which most befriended us, either for privacy or opportunity; Oxford and most of the other unreduced Garrisons know this well enough.  
At Oxford especially there was divers other Factions besides ours; and these, together with the wants of the Common soldiers, who now had neither pay nor due supply, put all men upon new thoughts, and deliberations. Rupert had no small boys among the General Officers that sided with him, and these ravingly cursed their fortunes, that thus had brought them to serve a Runaway. On the other side the grave privy Councillors, rupert's Antagonist, though they ranted not so high, yet shown a great repining, that his sacred Majesty (a pure blasphemy) should thus leave them in the suds. Also amongst these there were divers other pitiful subdivisions: as amongst the Cottingtonians and Hoptonians: The Welsh were derided as lousy Rogues, the Irish Rebels hooted at for perpetual Cowards; rupert's for Robbers; all without pay; none without plunder; the Hoptonians, they were the white boys.  
But let us speak ad rem; The 
k Sir john Kempsfeild an eminent Commander of the Horse, who never charged without a Crucifix on his breast.  Kempfieldians, a faction, of which we are able, and will now give account and relation; it being almost the subjectum of this discourse.  
True, we made not Sir John our Oracle, or Dictator, yet we now think it convenient to let our Catholic Party march under his 
l Which had for his Emblem, the Pope and a Cross, with words which a blind King might read with jealousy.  Coroner: we are not unknowing of, nor unknown to greater Agents for his holiness, than was he, or any that now is in the City and Army; though I confess his merit is not small, and his respect greater in Rome, where I last left him in his Pilgrim's weeds, ready to be dispatched away for an Irish employment.  
I should forget the Rule of private Polity, and (I fear me) offend the authority also of this already formidable and Renowned 
m Nomen R●ipub. sanctum habetur.  Republic of 
n Respub. potens armis atque ubere gleba.  England, should I dare publicly to speak all I know of the persons of some men, and their now black and dangerous actings and employments for the restoring of (not Charles, but)— to his ancient bloody Tyranny: Suffice thee my Reader, thou shalt know all in time, it must first be my work at the Council Table; where I shall (God willing) bring in a horrible large Catalogue of more perniciously damnably dangerous Actors, than was in the year 1605. in that infernal Powder plot: If ever there were such a fry of Devils in men's shapes, yea in ministers too, crept in to undermine a People and State, judge you, by that time I shall have discharged the duty of a Sound Convert, and a Native English Gentleman, to those Patriots and worthies whom God by most miraculous providences hath owned to be our undoubtedly lawful Governors: But,  
Non omnes volucres Auceps, non omnia lustra  
Venator spoliat—  
I shall do my uttermost.  
Return we to see what the Catholic faction are a brewing: Each had their Conventicle; the Cavalier Buzzard, I may say Bayard, had their fool's 
o In Oxford, a place so fitly called, for Newes-meeters.  Corner, and we our 
p The Catholic savern so generally called.  Knaves: Some of us resolve one thing, some another, all agree in this, we must desert the Royal Cause, and (as we could) get in with the Presbyter: One (of such a quality) cries out, I'll compound and go home, fight Dog, fight Bear; Another, I'll take the Covenant and turn Presbyter; But this last sort had carried themselves mere Amphibiums in religion, and not openly known for real Catholics; but a part of us, of more hot spirits, not of the laity, but of some several orders, did conclude it our best way, not only clearly to relinquish our party, but to engratiate ourselves with the Enemy▪ by acting some handsome piece of treachery, that in time we might revive the old Catholic Cause, by more able and apt Instruments then by a company of staring harebrained Cavaliers; who are not able to act so powerfully as those we desired to join Interest with, nor indeed (as Solomon speaks) when they had a price in their hands, were they able to get wisdom.  
And for this Conjunction were there very plausible reasons laid down: Say some, Had the King prevailed against the People; the fawning Bishops, to uphold their usurped power, would have stamped any Religion upon their Proselyte King, that they again might have vaunted in their Lawn sleeves and stolen 
q Pedo Episcopali grande inest mysterium.  Mitres; the number of us Catholics being in England much inconsiderable to that of Heretics, and the King not pertinacious, nor a jot solicitous of any Religion which diminishes the least tittle of his monarchical prerogative: In this huddle of opinions, up starts a Dominican, Fa: Car by name, now in Calais; but then known by the degree of Quartermaster Laurence, born at Hexam in Northumberland; (and seriously in my opinion he spoke, (as we say) veteratorie, like an old Fox:) Truly (said he) I can with better conscience and more liberty fight for, and converse with the Scot, than the Infidel; the Presbyter than the Cavalier: I have more hopes of him for a Convert which is of some religion, then of him which is of none; and so far (quoth he) may we call the King, but his Party especially, true Cavaliers: And, if we truly consider some points of the Religion, and (the rigidness I may not call it, but) the zeal of the Presbyter, with its Discipline and Polity; you shall find (as in several points I could plainly hold it forth and demonstrate the parallel) that there is no Religion in the world does so nearly consent with the true Catholic faith, as does the Scotch Presbytery; though I do not say it be super veritate fundatum, as ours is: Besides, said he, I might urge the great hopes and probability of a Presbyters conversion; for unde aliquis flatus ostenditur vela dat; he is subject to turn with every wind, no men in the world being of more unstable minds, and 
r Witness the common-pr-Directory. Covenanting-royall-assembly-engageing Ministers of England.  giddily wavering as are they: which, if Arguile in time does not, (as no doubt but he will) both the Leslies and the generality of the Brethren will make good;  Simul ac fortuna dilapsa est, devolant omnes: 
As for their guidly Covenant, it's but a Volaticum jusjurandum, sealed with butter; which they will only make use of to pick a quarrel with England, when they have need of one, and are out of employment, which the French will soon find a way to put them upon, when the young 
s Prince Charles.  Runaway shall have once given an assurance of his real conversion to the Catholic faith; & then shall you see the Presbyter the only staff we must lean upon: But for the Cavaliers (said he) they are Duri Capitones, a company of foolish obstinate Asses: our hardest task will be to yoke these 
* Disparibus bobus vix trahitur Vehiculum.  two beasts to draw our Pough; they that refuse, you shall see them pessum premi, trodden under foot by 
* Quod lupus est lupulum, nunquam prius est mihi visum.  us and the * other.  
These and many other arguments being laid down by this Father, it was instantly desired (by one known at that time generally, by no other name but Captain Saint john's, and yet well known somewhere now in this Country, of the order of 
t Sunt qui Jesu nomen praetexentes hominum animas ipsi Satanae mancipant.  Jesus, though he then walked the streets in a Chlamys) how we should speedily dispose of ourselves.  Non ad praeteritum consul valet, immo futurum: 
The time and season required our consultations to be brief and pithy; and the result was, that some of the more aged, of unactive bodies for military exploits, but of busy spirits to set things in combustion, and to augment feuds, should be left behind, and the rest should inveigle as many as they possibly could of the Cavalry to fall off; which to effect, some of our younger Novices dispersed themselves to several petite Garrisons, which were not reduced to the State's obedience, yea verily to almost all the Royal unsurrendred Garrisons in England; for really we had enough in Oxford to furnish them, besides what before they were stored with; and there were few without 
u Jesuits and priests.  some, some with many, I dare affirm none without any.  
Nor was it long 'ere the fruits of our Projects did appear, As in the great falling off of many, both Soldiers and men of eminency, which we could in any way make stoop to the lure of Presbytery, and swallow the goodly godly Covenant: more particularly, that almost total defection of the Wallingford Horse, led off by one Beard and Pawlet, in which I myself had an hand:  
But I shall deviate too much in instancing on the several successes of our plots, nor must I be too particular, lest the Presbyterian chance to see day at a little hole, and espy me through a cranny: My resolution and aim is to let thee (Reader) now understand the Cause of our thus, and then seeming compliances with that predominant Faction.  
First, for Sir Jo. Pr. which then indeed ruled the roast, we were better able in any notion to disguise ourselves under their discipline then any other; for whosoever would (forsooth) but down with the blessed Covenant, must be an honest man, let him be what he would; which we could very lawfully do, and did, being not unprovided of greater helps than Dispensations, seeing it was our only way left to revive (as I have said) the Catholic quarrel upon better terms, by better and more violently rigid Instruments.  
Secondly, we knew, (and I am certain it was at that time the Roman sense) that that Polypicaput, I mean that great jolly Turn coat, the little Queen's husband, being run away from himself and her (according to our judgement of his easy nature) might (for aught we know) have been soon brought to have sung a palinody, have vailed or turned as now his son assays and crouches (at least pretends) to do; and then we durst have warranted the case, that we would have reduced England into a more hideous pickle then all they had hitherto sustained in their quondam broils; for had he turned Covenanteere, which our party did assay by all inventible means to bring him to; and which he would have done, had not the Monarchick-Lawn sleeves infused thoughts in him of a restauration to his Arbitrary power, that he must be aut Caesar, aut Nullus, as of himself he was resolved to be Rex aut Asinus; or had that Spanish (I think I might say, 
* L. Say.  Sayish) Treaty in the I'll of Wight but taken effect; two months had never expired, before most of our chief enemies (this Commonwealths now Governors best Patriots and Defendors) had all lain weltering in their own blood: And then (as now it is) Presbyter, Cavalier, yea, and Catholic too, having joined interests, what must our next work have been? or what dost thou think it now will be when it is so?  
Reader, Thy Genius (if thou art not made of wood) must necessarily prompt thee to the conceit of no less than a Massacre, and universal ruin of all the Antagonists and Opposers of those Hotspurs; those three brethren in iniquity, who though they are so diametrically opposite to each other in principles and opinion, will out of pure malice (caused by their several bloody, ambitious aspire) join tails together to set on fire the fabric of a most polite Government, and devast the people whom God will not suffer them to tyrannise over.  
Well, Imagine this had been done, conceit this now a doing, now done: Suppose we then London plundered (for what wild man thinks, or expects less from three such mad enemies) the People and Country laid waste, desolate, and invassalled, all their enemies throats cut, our then no little Queen with her French, and Jermain lusty train returned (which was granted us by Treaty) all done, all undone, and none left in the Scene but these three; who goes to the pot next? No question, the Royalists and Catholics will be so conscientious, as strictly to observe and keep each Punctilio of the pretty Scotch Covenant; no doubt but the Catholics, and the Presbyters will thank the Cavalier for his good service, and restore his King with his Common Prayer and Bishops, though he will be neither Papist nor Covenanter; if not thus, then without dispute, Presbyter and Cavalier must both turn Catholics; and like enough so; I pray thee Reader, do then but consider how soon we could, or can (when time serves) set the Cavalier and Presbyter together by the ears. We are not ignorant of the old Adage, Publicae res privatis crescunt inimicitiis; which thus we will then construe, When thiefs fall out, we true men come by our goods; What blockheaded Presbyter or Scot (which is all one) knows not the Royalists to be irreconcilable with them; whatsoever fair words, some old Court-Spaniel, or young declared King may give them, in hope of future opportunity for revenge, or a Crown; Priùs lupus ovem ducat uxorem Cats and Dogs will sooner be catercosins than they; Lites praeterritae facilè fiunt renovatae; if not, we will put in two hundred thousand pound to the bargain;  Quis tam distantes nodus conjunget amores? 
Well, now they be at it, now they fight; or grant that they had done so; or that hereafter we see them too't amongst themselves; which side do you think (in plain earnest) shall we Catholics take? it is an even wager; truly neither, and yet both, if any; the weakest, till they have confounded each other. I could give a shrewd hint of Orders we received in the Colchestrian and 
* Kentish.  Cambo-Brittanian Expeditions; in a word, our design is to put them to that hard task, Penelopis telam texere, to do, and undo, till they have left nothing undone for us; But of this more in its place.  
I could here make an happy digression, yet pertinent enough, and a large one if I would (but I will not) only to show the people (if they would but understand and hear reason) the powerful hand of All-ruling Providence, perspicuously demonstrating itself in their redemption & deliverance, out of the jaws, and from the Snares and Gins laid for them by these three Enemies; God himself owning This Cause by no less than miraculous successes and unparallelled vicissitudes and alterations, and which he hath given in Commission unto our most puissant and renowned Governors as his instruments of a most splendid Reformation, and our happily achieved Liberty, which though it hath cost so much, and the completing thereof must necessarily require something more; let us remember, that libertas potior est Metallis, and that we were all once but mere slaves, bound in our own golden chains, under an Arbitrary-ruling one man, a self willed and wildly-Tyrannizing Monarch;  Non bene pro fulvo libertas venditur auro. 
That I may recover this large deviation,  
I must now return back to Oxford, where (as I told thee) I for my part was employed; and now behold it is surrendered, and I with my Comrades left to dispose of ourselves, where we had best hopes to create new distempers: Now the Oxford Articles were our only Guardians, and (like our black Master) our time being short we resolve to ply our business; and truly we have not been idle, what with tawing and clawing the the Cavalier and Presbyter, as you will perceive ere we conclude this Relation.  
And (Reader, I ask you) in what mode do you think now to meet with men of my Orders? We have not only changed the habits of our minds but of our bodies also:— Our minds; for he that even now was upsy Cavalier, high Royalists; he that was nothing but to make the King a Pope, that so the Pope might be made King, dances now after no Music so merrily as the Northern Bagpipe; the profane Dammees left off, and nothing but the Holy Keevenaunt is heard in our mouths.— For our bodies, Proteus' is less than a Fiction to us; He that erewhile was a Commander in a ranting equipage, is now slinked into a Cobbling Stall, or Weavers Loom, or Tapster's Apron, or Coachman's Box, or Beggars Weeds, or Horsemans' Frock, or Servingman's Livery, or Tailor's Shop, or a Pulpit-thumping Presbyters jippo; into what not? It is not unknown what trade we drive beyond sea, when no trade comes amiss to us; I vow to God, I myself have known one single Student in Rome to be his crafts-master in four several Mysteries, and, though an Italian born, Speaking and Writing as fluent & candid English, as the best English Orator; but Hoc dubit at fortasse aliquis, nisi pagina praesens idfirmâ ratione probet; To make this good, our Governors, the States of this Commonwealth (if they will deign to hear me now their true servant; for they may not in this case, in utramvis aurem dormire) shall eftsoon be able to cull out many a Sheep clothed Woof from their Stations, Stalls, Looms, Aprons, Weeds, Liveries, Shops, yea, and Buff coats; what say you to Pulpits too? Let not poor England (now like a Bird (Ah me) pursued by several fierce-flying Falcons, and too too near the intended hard gripes of their cruelly-sharp talons) either out of a dull and drowsy sottishness, or a fantastical humour of contradiction, suppose that I speak what I know not; if I should tell them I can, and (now being about to do it) will (but privately before Authority) produce a Catalogue of Catholics, (Fathers, so we will be called) men of several Orders, and others that are Natives, who for the most part have changed their Habitations, gone into remote Counties, and duly go to Church too; of an incredible number now living in this Commonwealth under several Notions, which I myself can Digito monstrare, point at with a dry finger: I tell thee in general, There is scarce a Town or City but in some few miles of it I can furnish thee Reader (to thy amazement be it spoken, and to occasion thee to return devout thanks to God) with some, who have lived in England these 6. 10, 20. 
* Jo. B. of Ne. in Es.  40. 50. 5. 4. 3. one and two years unknown, unsuspected, but taken for clear contrary men: let them avoid me if they can, their errand by this time is done.  
Reader, think me not mad: indeed I have been, but am now come again to myself: But to what (wots ye) was my mind bend in these Hurly-burlies? to play the Presbyter: and whither went I (trow ye) after Oxford's rendition? even to my guide Scots Brethren the Covenanters, but yet not presently into Scotland: my colleagues and I, which were three (and indeed made three degrees of 
x Malus, pejor, pessimus.  comparison, one a 
y Bre, of Oxf. Sh.  Priest, myself a Novice, the third (a 
z Catesh—  prodigious name) as eminent a Jesuit as England hath fathered these many years) had determined if at that time there had been Halcionian quiet times at Sea (as there were not for us guilty souls) to have passed directly over; but, diverted twixt fear of detection and zeal of working more good (upon the Presbyter) for the Catholic cause, we wheeled about and got us to Newcastle; where we found the Gentleman that ran away from Oxford playing at 
a Goffe..  Stowball with his Sodalitia, his guide chapmen; who (as emptitious as he was) though they valued him not, because sese inscendi passus est, he suffered himself to be fool ridden, yet knew well enough how to overvalue him.  
Here in this Gallimaufry of people and opinions (Cavies and Presbyters) we could not in a week's time devise in what shape to walk in: True, we had resolved to be All-Presbyter; but the state of present affairs so ordered it, that we must as yet be nothing but Cavaliers; for fear they (of whom there was no small concourse) as some of them could, might detect us what we were, maugre our shifting and sniffling pretensions to the contrary; And so once again we did Dextrae conjungere Dextram fall in with the Cavalier: For so great a resort was there of shabby raggamuffian Gentlemen, and some, of our old Oxford acquaintance, that we could not in civility (●ne eke in policy) shake them off: and so expert are we in those frauds Daemoniacae, that (where occasion presented itself) we became any thing to any man, (like the black Prince of the air in his witchery Apparitions, or his white Emblem the Miller, who when this wind will not serve him, can turn Sails and serve that) and closed in our compliance with all, that we might but tempt some; which indeed was easily then to be done with the poor Cavies, who were Cerâ tractabiliores pliable to any advice that favoured of the least revenge; but truly are Asini Homines mere Asses: Here did we Cretizare come Cretense hold a candle to the Devil, prompt them to what we thought would best serve our own turns, till at last we had fitted them to be made fools by the Scots; (which at any time they can easily do, if they will but open and declare:) Thus we laughed in our sleeves (yet still pretended to be equal sufferers with them in the Cause Royal) which they might easily have perceived, had not their brains been dulled by the Devil (that egregius delusionum artifex) and totally intoxicated with the spirits of Mandragora:  
Nor had we stayed long here, 'ere great numbers of the Royal Party came flocking to the Scotch Army, in hopes of more work for the Chirurgeon: which truly had then been done, as well as since, and now again (if they dare) 
* Ab Aquilone ante Notus, quam vulpes venari gallinas supersedeat: the South wind will blow from the North before these Beggars will leave troubling us.  like to be, (for jam tertia vertitur aestas) had they not feared their weathercock King might (in a new-periwig plot) have put upon them the old Oxford trick; or had not that currant sum of Bona & legalis moneta Angliae been too praevalent an argument with them to abandon and desert him, whom they valued not really at the estimation of 200000. Scotch bawdles; To be sure, our endeavours were not wanting to exasperate all Parties by all the stratagems our wits could devise; seriously, our fomenting had even then made the Tinder take fire, though we could not do it till here of late; Now 'tis done; judge you how near it was then brought to an head, (but what will not money do with a Scot, (now their Catasta is in readiness;) what will not a Scot do for money? An ingenious Monsieur (at this instant, I believe, in Scotland) at a frolic meeting, in France, of some friends, amongst whom I jovially passed for currant, said thus, (cunningly;) I'll undertake for half a King's price their whole Nation will D— themselves, and the strictest Formalists among the guide Brothers account it no sinful Engagement to eat nothing but ungodly Pearke for an whole year; The plot (I say) by our nimble-underhand invisible fomentings than grew near to an head; Near indeed; Not only excepted Delinquents unpardonable Cavaliers, but Catholics, yea known Priests and Jesuits, we also by a general order were publicly quartered in the most affluent and secure Towns and Villages: You will think it strange to hear me say there was at that time (and how much more now they have, like Sampsons' foxes, joined tails) to the number of two Regiments of Catholics; nay (to my certain knowledge) there was one meer-all-wholly-a Catholic Regiment new raised (before the money came down from London) and reduced, under the conduct of my Lord Synclare a Presbyterian-Papist; and this also I protest to God I can affirm for real truth, there was not only then to be a conjunction with Montross, but Irish Rebels to be transported, and a war with England then resolved upon; (see what money can do) had not these policies over balanced their resolutions;  
First, That the world would have cried shame upon them, that they should so soon have broken their own Covenant with the English: which they resolved to refer to a longer time, hoping to insinuate to the world, that the English first began with them, whensoever they shall have a mind to invade, ordisturbe our tranquillity;  
Secondly, That they should more than hazard the loss of the great sum, if they did too soon show their teeth; and not being able to pretend the least reason that would hold water, why they should pick a quarrel with their even now Confederates: And as cunningly also did they repel the incessant importunities of their prisoner-King; telling him, their surrendry of him would prove for the best, and that it should be to no other intent but to furnish them with more plausible pretences for a war and breath with the English States: For indeed they well considered, that the Parliament of England could do no less in justice upon that Capital Delinquent, then what might bear them out in the opinion of seduced Englishmen, as a sufficient excuse for their many peremptory, bawling, mischievous papers and messages, which (since that) they have interruptingly dared to trouble our State with, besides that their other years Runaway 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉; and yet still are they so impiously politic (or rather blockishly impudent) as to make this their pretence, that what they do, is for their guide King (& his son) whom, rather than they would have been at the charge to have kept him till this time, I dare say they would have poisoned (in which that travelling Nation is very 
b Witness their countrymen Dr. Crichton his Sermon, before young Stuart at the Hauge.  expert) or have put to a more exemplary death than that 
* Ad generum Cerer is sine caede & sanguine pauci Descendunt Reges & siccd morte Tyranni: juvenal. Few Tyrants in their beds do die, But headlong they to Hell do hie.  condign and yet honourableone, which he here received by the Plebiscitum:  
Sponte sua cecidit, sub leges arctaque jura;  
Sed rigidum jus est, & inevitable mortis:  
But all this while the poor Cavalier is hood winked, and held in strong suspense; neither can they imagine whether these Scotisticall Pioners will be Scots or not Scots, (but Scots will be Scots:) And they allowed them too bread and cheese pay, from the English; which indeed was no small boon, considering the small Nook so vast an Army (which had been at Hereford) were glad to be thronged into: poor Animals, these credulous Cattles, or blind Bears, as they were then, so are they still led on by the nose (in hopes) by their worst first Enemies; what else makes them Ampullas & sesquepedalia verba— bolt out such high bugbear Raunts? what else makes them triumphingly so heave up their heavy heads, and be so silly as to brag (merely on the dependence o'these crafty Cattamountaines) that,  Grata superveniet quae non sperabitur hora, 
That speedily a day will come which will pay for all: Royalist, let me tell thee in love, Sapientia prima est, stultitiâ caruisse, Do not be so unwise as to be so foolish as to believe a Scot: But I do saxum Sysiphon urgere, beat the air to 
* Vecordes verbis non subiguntur.  no purpose: The Ardelio's think ye out-wit all the world besides, when (faciunt nae intelligendo ut nihil intelligant) these 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 (in plain English) would seem to know all things, and yet they knew nothing, but are a company of dull easily beguiled Asses.  
Yet welfare my Lord Synclare (if there be any Scot worth the whistling after, I am confident it is he) I cannot be oblivious of his affable deportment, and tender sympathy he had of the conditions of some of the pitiful Renegado gentlemen. I dare aver, I can reckon up betwixt forty and fifty heretofore highflying Dammee-Raunters, now in a lousy starving condition which he releived, and were admitted sometimes to be drunk with his gor-bellied brother Harry, that old Court-Curr, Harbert Price, That Welsh-French Gallowpoasted fellow Turburvil Morgan, That easy Catholic, Durham gent. Colonel Jack Forcer, with many others, which I could name, of greater quality, who did eat of his freequarter bread, or had perished: But O the miseries of some Gentlemen of lower quality than these! Synclare sometimes for the great ones would go a begging to the great beggar for a suit; but for these poor souls not a doit but Scotch fragments: If ever any of those Gentlemen, which were then amongst them, confide in a Scot again, I shall swear they are Cur-Spaniels, and horribly bewitched: Amongst these latter lower sort did we three get in for quarters; pretending as much indigency as the meanest of them, and searching out who were Catholics amongst them, that so we might List them under a certain Collection; which very secretly and closely we had got raised of the Northumberland Catholic Gentlemen: Nor did we easily give credence to any that urged himself a Catholic; for indeed that would have made our number swell too great (the Cavies being at that time ready to turn any thing, except Round-head, for some money to be chirpingly drunk, and sing away sorrow;) but many real ones indeed were found, a great company of them being crowded into a very good quarter, at Mistress Thyrwalls' house, a Catholic widow, in a mile of Hexam in Northumberland; amongst whom was Sir Thomas Tildesly with a tottered tail as well as the rest, who sent for Mr. Bre— to speak with him, whither we being come, with him found a company of lamentable Tag-rags (outvying our disguise) going under the names of Colonels, Majors, and Captains; some playing at Irish, some at Gleek, all at Noddy, except Sir Thomas, who with a poor Scholar was playing at Chess; Mr Bre— ask his business with him; He told us, that he had been informed of our Negotiation, and desired us to enter his List in ours; amongst whom we found some doubtful and unknown names; which, we told him were not safe to be admitted for fear of discovery; He assured us, they were all very faithful Royalists (which did not please us) and wanting very much, even ready to perish with hunger and nakedness; amongst which that Scholar, for whom Sir Thomas seemed to be very highly solicitous: No sooner almost was he with some of the rest admitted, and had once or twice received collections, but some of them cried Roast-meat to their unadmitted Comrades, which truly fell out very inauspiciously for the Catholics, worse for the Cavies; the collection stopped, and we resolved for a dispersing march: For, near about this time was the bargain made, and hands struck betwixt the English and the Scots, for that Old-New-Nothing; and with him all the English both Catholic and Cavies to be surrendered prisoners upon the sum (as justly we might) for Incendiaries. This news being soon sent us (and in troth not too early, for it was in the nick-time) from Newcastle by some of our Agents there, we well hoped to have had some laughing sport; for after our flight (which was into Scotland) had they stayed a little-little longer, the poor Cabbs had been all surprised, if not surrendered to our Parliament Army then upon a close march; but in Edenbourgh, we had not been an whole week, before the ragged Regiment came tottering in there, many thousand millions strong, thicker than when they first shifted into the cleanly Scottish Army, out of God's blessing, yet not into the warm Sun, but a stinking cold climate  
And what can you devise these poor gentlemen can do here for subsistence? truly it was miraculous to see the miseries they endured at the hands, and in the sight of those unpitying hardhearted Cannibals the Scots: nay, they did not only commiserate but basely 
a Desolatos deridere dementia est.  deride and 
b Nil habet infoelix paupertas durius in se, Quàm quòd ridiculos homines facit.  jeer at their calamities, saying, there gangs a brave English Cavalier, whylk fought and run away for his King, etc. Now I believe thou supposest the Catholic also to be hard put to it here, or that (at least) he was forced to live on the main stock; not (really,) we found friends enough here, even of our own Order. I can assure thee (Reader) a Catholic delights in no air (besides his own) so well as in a Presbyterian. Moreover, we here met with Monsieur Montril the French Agent, who was then consulting with the Scotch States, about the last Hambletonian engagement, though since they account it sinful for being basted; with him we immediately fell into some consultation and action, as you shall hear anon.  
But O the poor Cab, his guts pay for it; there was not one of them but hunger had taught some occupation or other to get money, and it were but enough to buy Scotch bread: some Captains got their meat by dressing Troupers horses, not one Scot breathing would bestow a Bawdle on an Englishman without some service done for it; they would rather call them Lownes, and bid them get out of the Country. The Scholar (I spoke of) he drives a trade with the College, when instead of some subtle questions, the Master put him (as he told me) to expound a Chapter in the Bible, which he did till he had pounded out four or five 
a A poor sum in Scotch money.  pund of them, and more had he had of them, but that they demanding his name, and he telling them, they said it was a Popish name, (as I remember it was Pawlet, or some such name) the Scholar wittily replied, we have many good Protestants of that name in Herefordshire: after this great purchase he and one Major Thomas Right set up a trade of making sweet powder for hair with Rice, a trick of the Scholars, by which they lived well, and cozened the Scots very handsomely.  
But no going back was there for them, whither they could fly God knows, themselves know not. Reader, thou must not conceive, that of all these Gentlemen there were none which were thus distressed, but merely for their foolishly and falsely conceited loialty, though the most part were so indeed; certainly there were many, Homines gregorii amongst them, rascally fellows, some Thiefs, some Bankrupts, some abject Sons, some Prodigals; as the Scholar would often make me take pity on him, when he would use to tell me, 
* Miserabilis fuit homuncio: He was a castaway.  that an unnatural Father, and hard Mother in Law was his Parliament; many (like him) had several occasions that reduced them to these dilemmas of misery.  
And now was there a convention of the Scots States in Parliament, which puts the Cabs (as poor as they were) into a shrewd fright, and themselves into a puzzle, which way they should dispose of them; for had they rudely betrayed them into the hands of the English Army, which demanded them in the bargain upon the sum, they had too soon displayed to the world their perfidious dealing with the Cabs Idol; but, which is the main thing they had then falsified with the French to whom they had engaged to sell these cattle for so much the head, to serve in their wars against the Spaniard till such time as they had both ripened their quarrel against the English, and then shall the poor Cabs be brought back again, to usher on, and set a face upon the Popish French, and Presbyterian Scotish Design, which what it is, you will here towards the end.  
The general bruit now blown over all Edinburgh was, that the great blades were to be culled out and sent to London; but for the rest, if they would take conditions, they should be conveyed from the hands of their enemies, and be accommodated to serve some foreign Prince (the last is true enough, but the other as false as a Scot) their stinking States only made an Order to this purpose, that thereby they might give an Item to excepted persons to secure themselves; and (as they must confess) to my knowledge they had private orders given them, to clap themselves into a disguise, and not to walk so publicly in the streets; and thus they show themselves Scots still with the English States, for by thus doing they conceived they should be able to evade, if not flatly deny any just demands agreed upon in the former paction between England and them.  
These rascally do being thus carried on for some weeks in Hugger mugger, and the Cavaliers having some slender allowance, they knew not from whom; at last they all began to insinuate to them, that the Scots had picked a just quarrel with the Roundheads, and that they should in a short time invade, upon pretence of redeeming the even now sold Bondslave from his captivity, and bring him (like a painted Pageant) in pomp up to London: But this poor pretence, though politic enough to catch the credulity of the throughout gulled Cavalier, because opinionating ends ever by words; yet we (who ever judged of men's words by their ends) knew the inside of the piece to be clean contrary; for, the Scots (though they had an egging mind to have more plunder) were advisedly too cowardly to be thus valiantly foolish, knowing the strength and resolution of that gallant dreadful Army of England, whom they durst as well eat Peark as look upon; though they now make some flourishes, of purpose to get some gelt for the Son as well as the Father; and than you should see them fling him off, and creep to an Englishmans elbow for another confederacy.  
In the mean time while things fell out very happily for our Party, the Cabs knew nothing but what we thought fit to tell them; and they very quietly acquiesced in our Oracles: For now was I (with my two forementioned Comerades) employed afresh by Monsieur Montril, about such a like business as we had in Northumberland; which was to muster all the Gentlemen we could ferret out, and to take a strict and particular list of all that were Catholics; which we in time effected, and delivered it to the Monsieur, who commanded us to attend him the next day at Hally-Rood house, where D. Hambleton played Rex, and kept court as Lord Protector and Steward in the Dotage of his Cousin: whither when we came, and were called for to the Presence, The 
e We all conferred in the french tongue.  Duke (a rightwary, pure Saint of Scotland, as being pretty competently politic, abundantly zealous, and very indifferently religious) first demanded of the Agent, whether we were such as he might dare to confide and employ in his Master's business, we being Englishmen, and for aught I know (quoth he) Cavaliers: they are such (replied the Monsieur) who do omnes unum studere, and whose Characters I have received from no slender Testimony; besides, this gentleman (pointing to Mr. Catesb—) being my old acquaintance, and a real servant to the Flur de luis; whom (being English; and, as they are) I dare sooner trust than any men alive, none being able to do our business with that influence and facility they may, with their old dear acquainted Oxonions: Gentlemen, (quoth the Duke then to us) were it not prejudicial to yourselves, as you have no reason to think, I could wish that I knew how to equal my respects to your several qualities: But be confident, I am overjoyed in this blessed opportunity of serving his Most Christian Majesty: Here are up and down this City a crew of odd fellows, old beaten Soldiers of the King of England's party, who can now serve for nothing better than to fill ditches, thereby to salve their lost honours, when they shall shed their blood in the service of a more puissant Prince, to whose gracious Majesty I shall ever devote my best performance: Let it be your part (therefore) as much as in you lies, to prepare them for this Expedition, which you will the easilier effect, by taking these few verbal Instructions with you: [much to this purpose] First let them understand by you from me, the great compassion I take on their several distresses and sad conditions, and how studious I am to better it, and to render them capable of doing his 
f A double-tongued Scot  Majesty of England more good service, and that to this end I am very willing to engage myself unto his Majesty of France's Agent (here) for some competent sum of money for their subsistence and future pay, which who so lists may receive; and that I will freely (but privately) procure of the States of this Kingdom Passes for their going beyond Sea, and will also provide vessels, and be myself at the charge of their Transportation: all which I shall do as a demonstration and pledge of that service I own to my young Mr. the Prince of England; whom (be sure to tell them what I say) by their and others recourse to him, with some foreign Prince's assistances, I hope (and little doubt) speedily to see in an invasive capacity to revenge his 
g Si non ante diem Parcae sua fila secantur.  Father's indignities, and pour out floods of the blood of those rebellious Roundheads: You shall also (said he) take money with you to give advance to all those who shall enrol themselves as soldiers for the French expedition, (for under that Notion you must tell them it must be carried on) that so the States of this Kingdom may not be unfurnished of a pretence and excuse against the urge of those of England, when they shall see us play foul play underboard: But above all, I beseech you, that you make a diligent enquiry into the temper and employment of some of those Anglers; I am told there are some amongst them of most accomplished parts; and my Agents in London have given me warning, that there are certainly some of them employed by the English Parliament as Spies and Intelligencers concerning the transactions and consultations of me and this State; Let such be nippily marked and taken notice of; and where you shall find deserts in any other of them, as conducible to our purpose, proceed to collate large and particular encouragements: Gentlemen (quoth he) you may not; and I know you are not ignorant of the end of our design; in which, while we seem to help these base scoundrels, our ambition is to serve his 
h King of France.  most Christian Majesty, according to our long-continued and lately renewed obligation, against either Spanish or English adversary; at the present to fight the one, and ere long to invade the other; the latter of which his Majesty may hereafter easily achieve, having so many plausible pretensions on his side; as not only the restauration of his nearest Ally, but (which is the main string of his bow) his entering with so many native Englishmen, which will stop the people from banding against his forces when they enter, and occasion many thousands to join with them against their own Natives and Countrymen; which when God shall please to bring to pass, I shall then be openly able to declare to the world, how much I am in Allegiance his subject, and in conscience your servant.  
Thus after our most humble regratulations to his Grace for these pictae tectoria linguae, and indeed his affable and noble deportment to us, with his tender respect of our religious qualities (for the Agent had whisperingly told him what Mr. Catwas) we were now departing the presence, when presently we were remaunded by the Monsieur, who told us, that he had a very great desire to see as many of the gentlemen as could be got together at a Rendezvous, if the Duke held it safe; to which Mr. Br answered it were more convenient to defer that for one week longer, till more of them had listed themselves, and by their Advance recruited their tottered condition, and amended their equipage; to which the Monsieur answered, God's death, let it be even so, or else they'll take me for a very merry gentleman; meaning belike, He should be unable to hold his countenance, and restrain laughter.  
And now the poor Cabs do captare Ranam shoot at a crow and kill an owl; they have brought their hogs to a fair market, (like the Devil when he threw them into the Sea,) of a foul event, they have a fair labour, they must not only be content to be beaten out of the Kingdom, but be 
* Ni resipiscant fustibus & flagris nae ipsi vapulabunt.  beaten in again, to usher in and make room for those, who when they have served their turn of them, will use them and their King both alike; nay they shall be forced to fight against themselves; Sic vos non vobis, etc. so that the more victories they win, the more miserable they make themselves, and un-king their Prince: This plot was never so strong against them, as 'tis at this moment, as in time I shall declare: But they will not be induced to believe the French to be other then real Assisters, and that they do not catch at their crown; and, I must confess, their reason seems to be somewhat solid in this particular; Because (say they) we know our King to be reconciled to the Roman-catholic Church, and hereby he hath ingratiated himself with, and engaged all the Catholic Princes of Europe for his assistance: Ah Friend, I know the pulse of the French not to beat so violently for Religion, when a crown lies at stake; they hope (I'll warrant thee) to see a Lewis crowned in Londre, as there was a Henry in Paris: But they say, His Holiness hath obliged all Catholic Princes to be aiding, and amongst them the French; who, if ever he wins England, ('tis more than probable) maugre the Pope, will count himself fitter to be Defender of the Faith, than he that just now was converted to it to regain a crown: And this is but merely brutorum ratio, all the reason they have.  
Well, but let us look back and see what we Presbyterian-Cavaleers are doing at Edinburgh amongst the Cavaleer-Presbyterians; Our time is wholly spent in listing who list to taste of the Esca of our hooks; and no little trouble was it for us to ferret them out of the several holes they had buried themselves in; Our first two day's work was, to pretend the disclosing of a great secret to all we met, that they should give notice to all the right Cavaliers they knew, to meet at a Green a quarter of a mile beyond the King's Hally-Rood-House, near a little Alehouse there, called the World's end, where Duke Hambleton had by us intended (out of his pure pity) a distribution of money to all distressed English Officers, and Gentlemen soldiers of the King's party, according to their several qualities, and that there would be made some propositions for the setting a foot again of our old quarrel with the English Rebels: O how greedily was this Gudgeon swallowed! Those that had but twelve 
i One penny.  black dogs, drunk a health that night in Scotch Ale to the brave Duke; and thus we made every one prove a Decoy to his Comrade; and our appointed time being come, our work we found done to our hands, and some Punds drunk upon score in the Duke's health before ere we came at them, where we found the silly souls extremely frolic and blithe, Hic saltat laetus, hic est sermone facetus, every man fancying vanities to himself (and building castles in the Air, as yet still they do upon a Scotch foundation) according to the defect of his judgement and discretion;  Ex improviso fallitur omnis homo: 
And so they are resolved to be once more 
* Imbelli adminiculo ne sustenteris.  deceived by them before they will learn better forecast.  
Nor when we came did we piddle with them a whit, but forthwith accosted them with the most prestigious sugar candid words we could invent, not forgetting one tittle of our Instructions, which we confirmed for truths, by a certain token the Duke had sent by us, which was twenty shillings sterlin to drink his dear Master the King's Health, and a confusion and damnation to the Parliament, besides, half so much for the King of France his Health; desiring them to accept of these poor favours he had sent them, as a token of what more he intended to do, as a sympathy of their loyal sufferings, but especially as a demonstration of his fidelity (though formerly mistrusted) to his Master: Thus having told our tales, and recruted every man with a considerable sum in his pocket, (besides their heads full of Nobilis Alla) we desired them all quietly to disperse themselves, and in the mean while to put themselves into as handsome an equipage as they could, till our meeting again (that day seven-night) in the same place, when if we did not presently fall upon action; we told them, we were commanded to assure them upon the Duke's honour, they were safe, and that there should be a very competent and large allowance offorded the very meanest of them all; and so they stragglingly parted like fools as they came;  Qui leviter credit, deceptus saepè recedit: 
I cannot call it good nature in them, but a shallowness of experience, contracted through customary overmuch talk, more boasting, through too little observation, and no pondering; for certainly no cattle in world are more easily beguiled then the Cavaliers generally by an overweening credulity; the true occasional use of a wise distrust and slow Belief, either not reaching, or else misplacing, seldom deliberating, till surrounded with fears, who are ill Counsellors, and never determining but upon hopes and wishes, who are false Astrologers: The dull Phrygian could Serò sapere, the Cavalier will nunquam; He is always extravagantly talking of many generations past; never once roundly considering, how that Then was Then, and Now is Now. But, to our Relation:  
We stayed not this night, till we had informed the Agent how far and fair a progress we had made in the business, who seemed very pleasant at the relation of the several pretty passages at our Tap-lash Rendezvous, some Devotions being that night performed at his lodgings (at which the Duke was present, and many other Scotch Gentry, though some people will hardly think it) we had the honour to be commanded to take our repast there that night, and waiting his Honour's leisure, and further pleasure with us, he told us, there was no more to be said, till the Duke had completed many things with the States, which to him he had, engaged for: I will only add this (said he) for our comfort. I doubt not (by the fair progress we have already transacted with these 
k The Scots.  people) but to see our three 
l Cabs, Presbyters, Independants.  enemies beaten by themselves, and a way made for the banner of Christ, and the Standard of my Master, to be in time set up in that base adjacent Heretical plot of earth: Master Ca— told him, though our hopes were once great by our influence on the King and his party, yet it would be greater than ever, if we could once see a conjunction betwixt the Royalist & Presbyter, and both willing to accept of aid, from his most Christian Majesty: you shall see strange things done (quoth the Agent) if ever we can but bring them to shake hands, though with the teeth outward; which in some time (though perchance also with some little difficulty) we shall bring about: The royalist is sufficiently madded already; for they say, they will take the Turks, yea, the Devil's side to conquer England, and in time you shall see, we shall work on the dissatisfactions of the Presbyter, that we shall bring them to join with us and their enemies, to overthrow their brethren and friends.  
And now (Reader) I can busy thy fancy with little of this weeks work, only the great mirth of the Jovialists, they are no small boys now, and (I'll warrant you) drink no small Bear: New faces still appear to be listed, an't were for the Turk, all is one; thirty English shillings advance was then a considerable sum; In three or four days the Agent sent a Gentleman to command our attendance at the Duke's Court, when he (we no sooner being come) asked us, whether our number did increase, or decrease? We assured him, that we had listed thirty six more than we had advance money for, which was presently delivered us; But said he to the Duke, how shall we provide now to keep them together from running away? By doing as you do now, (quoth the Duke) meaning by letting them have money enough belike; but it was presently resolved upon, that a party of Horse should scour the Country England ward; and it was given out, that it was only to surprise and take up wand'ring English Malignants and Delinquents, and to send them to the Parliament of England; But the next thing put to the Question by myself, was, who were fittest to be chosen for the Officers of these listed men? Well said, (quoth the Agent) a thing indeed most necessary next to be consulted on; for either we must pitch upon some of our own friends, or at least their enemies; my meaning is, Catholic or Presbyter, the last being as serviceable to promote our erterprises as the first: Here is a noble Gentleman (quoth Master Cat—) one Colonel Forcer, who is not only discreet, but really their enemy (and your servant) yet very popular amongst them (for the fools have a vein still to love us, how plain soever our practices appear against them,) he is one that by a certain interest (besides Religion) would be glad by any means to advantage and set forward the French Design; being also not ignorant of the greatest state of affairs, and doth very well know how great hopes we have for the advancement of the Catholic Cause, by bringing the Cavalier under the Lee of the Presbyter; Introth you have only anticipated me (quoth the Monsieur) tell him I kiss his hand, and desire a word with him, for had you not mentioned him, I must have had some conference with him about some higher concernment.  
And thus again we parted with Orders to return with most convenient speed, which the next day we did, the Colonel in our Company; and after some private conference betwixt Monsieur Montril and himself, we were soon dispatched, and gave out among the Totterdemallions, that all things were now concluded, but that a Colonel General was wanting, which we doubted would be a Scot, if we did not solicit the Agent, that we might select Officers among ourselves; and amongst us none so fit and faithful a Conductor as would noble Colonel Forcer be, which they every one presently relished.  
Well, now approaches the second and last day of our liquorish Worlds-End Rendezvouz; where (after high Bravadoes, how we would plunder London, and torture the Roundheads at our return into England, making no distinction between Independent or Presbyter, when we had subdued them both) it was at last generally given to understand, Thar the farthest way about was our nearest way home, and that we must first visit France, where we should lie at Rack and Manger (Free quarter) in Garrison against the Spaniard, till such time as a League and amnesty could be procured betwixt the French and them, and until the difference betwixt the Independent and Presbyter did flame to the very height; which we assured them would erelong so come to pass, and that it would prove a very feasible business by flattering the one, to destroy both.  
But behold, the grand Pa— the Monsieur approaches, where (by reason of different languages) at the first accost there was nothing but dumb shows, and Serviteur tres humbles; but there came a Scotch Interpreter with him, who was commanded to express the Agent in this wise: Gallant Sirs, his Honour (here) hath commanded me to let you know, that though he be indeed a French man, yet he was ever naturally devoted to the service of great Britain's Monarch, and that by the solicitation of the most renownedly virtuous Henrietta Maria, their Queen his Mistress, he was now employed by his Majesty of France to agitate concerning the English affairs, and in special particular for the restauration of his most distressed Majesty of England; and understanding, that so considerable a number of his party (most gallant Gentlemen and Commanders) had by the cruelty of the enemy been beaten into this Kingdom for refuge and safeguard, things indeed fell out more successfully for his business than he could have wished for, or expected; because now he was not only in a capacity to serve their Prince, but the Gentlemen in their miserable exigencies; and to put them into that way which must of necessity be followed for the reducing of the English Rebels: He hopes he hath no cause to doubt of the averseness of any in the promotion of this business; if there be any such (for perchance you may not be alike zealous in a good cause) it is desired, that they would please to urge their reasons, to show, why it may not be accounted more safe to go into France to your Prince, then to return back into the jaws of your merciless enemies: Your accommodation there shall befit Gentlemen of your quality, and in prcoess of time you shall find your work done to your hands, by some unknown servants of yours, who are now stirring up of fewdes, and flinging Marrowbones betwixt those two Curs, the Presbyterian and Independent; yea, some there are, that are invisibly acting in their very Counsels and Army; whom if they cannot involve into a quarrel one against the other, they shall raise up some strange 
* The Levellers, a Plot of the Jesuits.  spirits amongst them that shall vigorously oppose, and perchance utterly confound them both; If this string fails, there is another stronger for the Bow. And now Gentlemen, if there be any of you that make exceptions, or desire to have any one of the Articles more plainly expounded to you, (for there were articles drawn and agreed upon betwixt them) let them now be pleased to speak; there is nothing in which his Honour is not very desirous to give each of you satisfaction to the full: and whosoever of you have any request to promote concerning himself or friend, he may be heard, and in reason his request granted: Gentlemen, Your Quarters are now taken up in Leith, where you may freely reside by the connivance of these States, that when time shall serve you may be there ready to embark.  
So they all with great unanimity declared their forwardness in the action; his Honour then saluting them with a general Sa Sa parted from them, telling them he hoped shortly to be with them, and to see them all safely arrived in France, and in a little while in England again.  
And now for the Antycerae, for here are fools enough to make a pretty formidable Fleet: In short time a right merry Gale commands our personal appearance a board, whither we ganged as drunkenly reeling as the Ship, omnium getherum, all together; Quot capita, tot sensus, as many heads, so many windmills and airy Castles; Seventeen days (which is much for so short a journey) we were tumbled at Sea, enduring two very shrewd tempests; and really the Castawaies were like to be wracked; yet all this did hardly allay the furious impieties of the Dam Blades till the Seamen bid them for shame prepare for death; which some of them did only by banning and cursing the Roundheaded French and Scotch Rogues; yet at last we (by a strange preservation) were whirled into Dunkirk Harbour, where the then naturalised Governor for the French, (Rant zau) maugre the Agents Letters, sent us packing again, and would not so much as admit us to put our noses within his theivish Garrison, when he understood but what countrymen we were, (so strong a jealousy have the French ever had of the English) fearing that the Parliament of England having almost brought their business at home to an handsome period, might also have employed us in a surprisal of that Port of Robbers; thereby to have opened a gap to the liberty of the miserably persecuted Reformists there; a Work worthy our States, when God shall please to put them upon it, which in blessed time may be done, when the Cavish Remora's of this Nation shall once have their bellies-full of rebelling and jars.  
Well, again we hoist Sail, and in some 10 or 12. hours put in at Saint Johnstones, betwixt Bulloine and Calais, the very place where Harry the Eight won Bullione; And here we got some provant for our weather beaten paunches: the Peasants gazing upon us, and admiring what mind had blown thither such a company of odd blasted fellows: Here we looked for an Army to be gone into England out of hand; we had those amongst us that asked of the French where the great body lay, that were bound for England; They swore by no small bones, that they more doubted of English to invade there; the name of Cromwell being more terrible amongst them then ever Henry the Eight was: this made the Gallants loll their ears and laugh at one an other: Not long after we had Quarters assigned at Gain in Picardy, though we were not like to gain much by the bargain; For that accommodation (which the Agent spoke of in Scotland) befitting gentlemen of our quality, we found to be the lousy straw which the Suitzers had left behind them and a crust when we could catch it; So that we were like to be fed with a bit and a knock; for in a month's space we were drawn into the field, up to Durlane, for the relief of Armantiers, not one Monsieur-Article observed, but all dishonourably broken: In a word, to be brief, within a quarter of a year that brave Gallant number of Fusees were squandered all to pieces, knocked o' the head, or starved: Oh the horrid miseries, incivilities, affronts, hardships and contempt these poor Caitiffs felt and received at the hands of the French, by many degrees (if possible) surpassing those former miseries they endured by the Scots! There was not a man amongst them, that if he were found napping, (as we call it, lagging) but the French usually butchered him for no other respect but quatenus Englishmen, such is their love to the Royal party of England: I have now concluded this part of our Comi-Tragaedy, leaving the poor Cabs in the ditches, and those of them left alive to unspeakable misery, the judgements of God pursuing them, whither so ever they fly, for these horrible impieties of debauched Drunkeness and hellish Healths to men's Damnation's; for their familiar Oaths and Blasphemies, their wild whorings, their cunning adulterating (and then awingly-borrowing, but absolutely robbings of) the Families, where ever (under feigned friendship) they (for their secret ends and way of subsistence) by their jovial insmuations creep into; and especially for their foolishly-disobedient and blindly-obstinate treacheries against their dearest Parent their Country, in an humorous defence of a Tyrannical King and Papistical Queen (
a King james Father the L. Darley hanged it Scotland, the Queen of Scots his Popish Mother, and his second son both beheaded in England; King james himself and his eldest Son more than suspected to be both poisoned; His Daughter's husband with herself and children driven out of all; His Favourite (and the Commonwealth's Traitor) stabbed: Her father an Apostate and stabbed; her Mother a Popish Incendiary, the place noted unfortunate afterwards, where ever she came: Pr. Ch. resolved to turn Turk, but he will be revenged on the English; the Duke of You to be a Cardinal; Rupert as good as the best in the bunch etc.  two strange families, to them and theirs most fatal) the unlucky offsprings of a Learned Scot, and a Warlike Apostate by the Father's side, and of a Danish 
b Such a hunting King and dancing▪ Queen In the English court were never seen.  Wanton, and a Florentine Popish W. by the mothers: And now I come to relate some observations and certain passages, which befell and intervende during my stay in France.  
Mr. Ca I know not upon what sudden change of mind, or whether (most secretly) employed in some Agitation, presently got away for Saint Omers, and so to Spain; whence he promised after some season to return and meet us at the English court at Germane en Lay; Mr. Br. and I speedily caroatcht thither, where when we came, we found a very strong report flying up and down amongst the Religious, (and yet choked with as much privacy as could possibly be) that something might be done for England this year; yet in short space it was blown over: For it was given to understand, that the Presbyter had not wholly fallen off and deserted the Parliament; which was meant by that last but new Southern 
c Colch. Ken. and Wal.  rapture, in which the French and catholics in general were on edge to have a finger: But, upon better deliberation, (having not then the power and influence on the Scots and English▪ Presbyters, which by reason of the young King they now have▪) they have reserved their strength for this very years after game: And most strangely confident were they all, that a breach one way or other would be wrought betwixt them; especially when they heard of the People's eager violence crying out for Justice against the Capital Delinquent; for they hoped this would have reduced the Parliament to an hard Dilemma; as whither it were fit, to deny the requests and clamours of the generality of the people, and so incense them; or else, by stopping the due course of Justice, to claw with a few inconsiderate discontented Laodiceans whose lukewarm neutrality (having in time of yore, put their hands to the plough of Reformation) turns them clear off from what they had first engaged themselves to complete: Which piece of Justice as it must of necessity have been done, they resolved would (without doubt) very sufficiently provoke the Presbyter; (happily because they had not the honour of doing it themselves) the Cavaliers themselves are generally (all of them) fully of this opinion; and, say they, had these been suffered to domineer over us, we had not found that equal intermixture of justice with mercy, which we now do find at the hands of the Independent; the little finger of their gouty-loyned Covenant, which none of us would take, would have proved heavier to us then that line of an Engagement which we all have taken; nay they now say, that a reconciliation betwixt them is merely impossible; and yet they all hope, if they stir no more in rebellion, they shall see the happy day of a general pardon from their now Governors.  
But that which was the greatest obstruction, and did most of all bind the hands of the French from meddling in the last new Presbyterian and Malignant Rebellion, was first not only the Spanish difference (which caused them to have an eye in their pole) not being yet made up, as anon I shall speak of; secondly, nor only the proneness of their own enslaved people to attain that precious liberty which the English had chalked them out the way of; but thirdly, (and which is all in all) Cardinal Mazarin, Father D and 
a a jes.  Le M. had not yet done their do with their young 
b P. Ch.  Pupil; but a fair and hopeful progress they had made in the business; They had brought him (by that time we came thither) to this, that he would very usually (but closely) go to see the fashion of a Private Mass with his Mother; and to my knowledge I have seen, that he can cross himself prettily of a young Beginner; but to Confession indeed they could not of a long time bring him, (though he might not be ashamed to confess what in forty weeks was so visibly seen by that young French Lady of Honour; another young dainty French▪ English Heir Apparent) yet at last great promises prevailed, and the better to confirm them, his brother Jemmy (whipped into a Religion by his Mother, and turning like a twyne thread) was forthwith to be Captain a Cardinal, and (besides) all Catholic Princes should be invited and consulted with for an unanimous invasion of England.  
But lo news comes a loft upon the wings of the Wind, that the people and State of England had summoned his Father to an high Court of Judicature to bring him to a trial for all the innocent blood he had spilt, and the hideous devastations he had caused: This was no little good news to the Cardinalical party, (I mean the Jesuitical) for in my next I shall satisfy thee concerning their cunning workings; how even these, who pretend so much charity and friendship to the Son, did seek by all machinations to expidite and accelerate this high piece of Justice upon the Father: and now say his Tutors to him, If they proceed to death with your father, it will prove the better for you; for it will utterly alienate the hearts and affections of the people from them, and you shall find them to be the more eagerly violent for your re-investment, not considering the change of your Religion, which by any means shall not be publicly known to any but your good Catholic Subjects of England, till such time as you have wrested power enough into your own hands to protect it and yourself in it; but indeed the Lad had some of the Father's astutiousness in him, & presently asked the Cardinal the same question which his Father once did the King of Spain, when he was almost easily entreated to have turned to the Faith Catholic; How shall I (said he) ever expect to be King of England, if once the English should understand I am turned Catholic? To which they easily gave a satisfactory resolution, telling him, That (as the case now stood) he must never look to be admitted but by Fire and Sword; the main force of arms must make way for him, neither could he ever in the least probability achieve that, or put it in execution, without the aid of Catholic Princes, which they will never be brought to act in, without a firm assurance of your real and faithful conversion.  
'Tis true, I must ingenuously acknowledge, for some term of time he made a little pauze upon this hard Lecture; but no sooner was there certain news arrived of his Father's decollation, but he was heard by some of his attendance to swear a great oath, That he would turn Turk, or any thing, to be revenged of the bloody English; which mad boyish words were like to lose him the Lord Hopton, and other of the most considerable of his party of the Episcopal Protestants; for they plainly saw the great endeavours therewere for his conversion; besides, that most times they were secluded and barred from their attendances; and indeed they could not otherwise judge, but that he would easily be induced to Popery, who was resolved to turn Alcoranite, or any thing for revenge: Besides, all his Chaplains were turned to the wild world a grazing, except only those who did constantly assert their real conversion, as that Scotch dissembling Hypocrite (yet most rare Linguist) Doctor Chrichton did, and some few others: Hopton 'tis true (and some more which I could easily name) was packing up to be gone, and desert such a dangerous cause and rash Master (had he been admitted to pardon;) but he was won and wound back again by that old subtle Fox (that Church-Papist, or rather Atheist) Cottington, and by the great Protestations and entreaties of many others English and French, (not for the least affection they bear him, but) well considering, how fit and plausibly he may serve to usher in a foreign Enemy, and be a Nose of Wax to the great design of England's second Conquest; especially being so popular amongst many of the Western seduced people, who think verily that good man will never come with those who have a design clearly to conquer this Nation, and fall to their old Fire and Faggot burning sport.  
And now the great Overtures for a Spanish Treaty are set on foot, a difficult thing to be brought to pass, yet harder to be concluded, (such a natural Antipathy is there betwixt these 
* Spa. & Fra.  two Nations:) but the Jesuits (I know not how) at last effected it in some sort, and there was canvasing the business in private betwixt them above a quarter of a year, before the world could as much as take notice of such a thing; and when it did break forth, (such things cannot be hid in a dark Lantern) Propositions on both sides were so smothered, (at least adulterated, before they came to the ears of men) that scarce any Neighbour Nations could give their positive judgements what would be the conclusion and result of that Game-underboard: The reason of all this covert closeness was, because their discourse was most concerning that pretty prey of 
* A handsome plot of ground lying convenient for many Catholic purposes, and after which the Pope's chaps have a long time watered; expecting by the Jesuitical Plough of Italian Policy (guided by Belzebub, and drawn by a mixed Team of French and Spanish Agents, to which Cottington is Carter) to convert that good Pasture of Protestant's into Romish-Arable, that it may be sharply reaped by the Sword, and the grain cruelly threshed out (at the Barn▪ door of Rome) by the Sceptre of a Catholic Conqueror: it were excellent for the Pope, than he might here again glean Peter-pences, convert easy souls, and carry more straw to Rome; who ever remained firm (resolved) to be left as stubble for the fire.  England: It was urged by one to the other, that never was there a fairer opportunity than now to be revenged of those reforming Apostates, to fall on and surprise them, they thought it fit to make Hay while the Sun shined; and the most they yet disagree about, is who shall have the crop when it is mowed: The French make mountainous offers of returning such and such 
a Fl. Cat. etc.  places into the Spaniards possession, if he may be suffered to enjoy the conquest, the Spaniard being to furnish him with so much money, men, arms, shipping, ammunition, etc. for so long a time: Alas noble Monsieur, this is not like to fadge, for it runs diametrically opposite to that general opinion of the Spaniards, of an universal Monarchy; Truly Gentlemen, I humbly conceive, You reckon before your Host; You count your Chickens when the eggs are adled: We have an Army (and, because our confidence is not in the fleshly arm of man) that by the power of God will not fear to meet you half ways any where, at any time; and we have not a people so witchedly besotted, that because you bring along with you one whom you make your stalking horse to your mischievous designs, will therefore open the door to let him in, that so you may come crowding in at his back; Do your worst, we fear you not, though there were eighty eight Nations more of you, all invading us on the next fifth of November.  
But here a great while they have stuck fast in this Quagmire, not for a long time resolving one way or other, leaving the desperate English Youth in sad dumps to think, and a great greedy suspense to imagine why they so long procrastinate their assistances: And here (really) a man would have thought they would have been plunge● 〈◊〉 everlasting; but what they have done in it, (their Tutor) the Devil knows; only thus much I am sure of, they have made the Lad believe, that without fail this Summer (and very probable) they will fall on, and put him (out of doubt) out of his pain: To this purpose he is put upon a work to beguile himself, I am mightily deceived if he do not find himself Coney-catched in it, and all the Lutheran and Calvinist States and Princes besides, (who will find themselves merely drawn in) that have engaged in some aid of men and money, etc. They shall only lead the Van, and be the forlorn Hope to the Rear-Catholiques, who will come powdering in too, but in their breeches with a vengeance; Well, but to these the young Papist hath sent Beggars to implore aid for the Protestant Cause in good Truly; having Commissioned his Emissaries to engage, and make promise of a very faithful repayment of all their several charges and expenses, by a general Tax upon the people, when (the skies falling) he shall be able to catch Larks in England; which to constult, about they are to meet at Breda, where now a Babel of them are concurringly tumbled together; The Catholic he stands behind the Hang, and neatly observes all their resolutions; nor indeed doth any thing pass as resolved without the Councel-Boord of France, their Approbation and Concurrence, a Journal of their Transactions having been weekly posted up to the Lower and St. jerman's, and especially wheresoever the Station and Residence of the 
* Mazarini.  Cardinal be at any time fixed, he having the only influence (by order from his Holiness) on all the Acts there passed.  
So that now (Reader) I will give thee a touch and but a glimpse of the invading plot, how it is laid; because I intent (assoon as I have received my packet, and conferred circumstances; for indeed I am now out of 
a Suspected a Convert.  their books) to come again speedily into the Press, and speak plain English; showing thee some score of 
* Catholics, Priests, Jesuits, and traitorous Presbyterians  Names, which will even astonish thee to think, that we have so long hugged such vipers in our bosoms: And then will I show thee the second part of this story, beginning from Germane en Lay-to Breda, and so forward, in which there shall appear plain truths, and thou wilt be forced to believe them in spite of thy malignant heart; when it shall be made evident to thee, that at 〈◊〉 they take it for granted, that we are already conquered, and reduced to the Faith, so confident are they in the Resolutions of their main Aiders, the Presbyterians: Exitus acta probat, The proof of the pudding is in the eating good Mr. Pope.  
[Ambition to rule, is more potent in One that is up; then Malice, to revenge, prevalent in one that is down:  
And,  
To one that is down, Auxiliaries obtained, not by coin, but upon courtesy (wherein may be craft) are most dangerous:  
For,  
A Foreign Prince needs no greater invitation to seize upon a Crown to himself, then when requested to regain it for another;  
Yet,  
Let no Civil Discords encourage any Foreigner to invade, since they that are factious among themselves (and jealous one of another) for this or that party, are ever (especially being already provided with an old conquering Army) more strongly prepared, when the whole is at stake, to encounter with a common Enemy; for, whom Civil Commotions set at variance, Foreign Hostility reconciles:  
And surely,  
A wise Foreigner would be cautious in undertaking an expensive Design upon the report of such as are exiled their Country, whose ends expect Advantages from their Assistance, their miseries laying hold of all Opportunities, and seeking to be made whole, though upon their ruin; for, an Invader repelled, must expect (at the next bout) to be Invaded;  
However,  
If Foreigners will be Fools, who can help it? Reader, be thou wise, in relying on God, and being true to thy Country: Let no flattering wish deceive thee, malice urge thee, price nor promise bribe thee, nor ought else tempt thee to take part with any Enemy of the State: Assure thyself (if thou dost) whoever wins, thou art lost; If the State prevail, thou art branded for a Rebel, and marked for death; If the Enemy prosper, thou shalt be reckoned as a Traitor, and not secured of thy life. He serves the State, that destroys a Rebel; And it is a common thing for a foreign Prince, that loves the Treason, to hate the Traitor: Above all, presume not on Secrecy, such confidence hath undone many: Innumerous are the ways of finding out a man, besides finding him in the very act; Nor think a good wit can assuredly carry thee through an ill business; Every man may not be the Wit he thinks himself; And if he be, or more, yet none so cunning to cover, but to discover there are others as wise. If you think well to seem faithful, you must needs think it is better to be so. Humanum est errare, condonare Divinum: Whoever wanders (as I have) let him quickly return to God, his Country, and himself. The Shortest errors are the best: Be not ashamed to be wise, be thou encouraged; for Peter (through the merciful aspect of Jesus) doubled the grace by repenting, which he had lost by offending:]  
Now for the Plot, it is thus laid: (Reader, thou hast it from a good hand, and an affectionate heart, to thy good; Believe it to thy preservation, for which be thankful; and doubt it not, in simple ingratitude to God, and to thy destruction:) The Scots, that is, the Presbyterians both of England and Scotland (for London hath a lusty finger in the Breda-pye) are the fore horses to draw on the good Catholic Design; The little Queen (this every one knows) hath laid a strict command on her Lad, by all possible means to compose differences, and close interests with his guide friends the Scots & English Presbyters, upon any kind of conditions, how base or ignoble soever, so that they may be brought to grapple with the English State; These are to advance and keep some spudder in the North, to draw down a considerable party thitherward; the English-brethrens are by all possible means to work some strong diversion (if they can, or dare) in the Southern, or some other parts: The Montrossians at first were designed to keep warm the backs of the Scots, and presently with their foreign Mercenaries, Danes, Swedes, Suitzers, Kerns, Normans, and some Germans, to advance as near the guide town of Edinburgh as they could: But this (too late for their advantage) was perceived; and did put the Leslyans to more than an halt in their resolutions, even to a turning faces upon the Hurreying Invaders; so that now it seems they are remaunded, and have cross orders to hoist for Ireland (as 'tis given out) to make all clear there in a trice: but this is but a flim-flam, they are (as I have some reason to suppose and report) to join with the Lord Hopton in the Western Islands, who is only useful, and employed for nought else, but to cover an Outlandish Invasive Enemy, with his plausible presence, and some English with him: and others to prick on the Jockeys to be sent in their steed into Scotland, but not till the English and Scots come to Handy-gripes. Nor are any to second Hopton but these, and some Flemish aid by sea and land, till he hath made the Gap wide, and the way clear for some other Party: and then, expect from all parts and Kingdoms some sweeping Armies of Catholics to land in several places at once, which (as the Cavalcers themselves do brag and give out) shall come like a flood, and in a trice rush and overflow the whole land like an 
* Et tunc immenso impetu Hostis confinibus ingruit.  Inundation: But of this more in my next Treatise, which I am confident will be convincing enough to stir up the spirits of the most venomously unsatisfied ones that are, to an unanimous opposition of (at least) all the foreign Enemies of our Peace and Country: who if ever (as God forbidden) they should come to gain a conquest over poor England, be ye assured, Presbyterians and Cavaliers too, that ye also must to pot, and are in as great a Predicament (of confusion) as he that is now and ever,  
The most faithful Servant of the Common wealth of England; And real Convert to the Reformed Religion; working by Jesus Christ in the power of the 
* Sedulò Inspirationibus internis attendo.  Spirit. Amen.  Commune discrimen Dissidentes conjungit. 
FINIS.   

Epilogue to the Author.  
SIR,  
YOur Papers you were pleased to communicate to me, I here return; and as you desired, they have been read over, and I am ready to give you this account of them. First, I believe you report nothing but truth in them: for these particulars agree exactly with my general Observations. 2ly, I believe many of those, who have been formerly of an other opinion, will be convinced with your report. 3ly, I believe you will hereby gain no discredit, nor incur danger except only from those, who are most certain, and knowing that you speak truth herein. I mean plainly if you provoke any enemies hereby, it will be the Cavaliers, the Papists, and Presbyterians, and yet all Papists, Presbyterians and Cavaliers, though they know these things are more than probable, do not certainly know, by any privity of their own, that they were so acted as to particulars, as is here described: and therefore you need not fear all. As for the Independents they are rather justified, then provoked hereby; and as for the Levellers, though you pretty well describe them, yet you insist not much upon them; and if you had; they are not very formidable at this time, partly because the major part of them never yet fell totally from the Ordinances of God, or from us, and all such now as fell not so far have quitted their blasphemous, Atheistical ringleaders, and I am in great hopes, that some of them which have not yet retracted, may be won upon by your clear, ingenuous discoveries, therefore do not withdraw one foot backwards; Tutum est cumtimeas inferre gradum. You know what Scipio said being once employed upon an hard service: Necesse est ut eam, non ut vivam: and you know better what our Saviour said; He that will save his life shall lose it; and he that will lose his life for my sake, shall save it. You seem to me to be inspired as Samson was against the Philistines, spare not then to provoke them, send your firebrands by the tails of your coupled foxes into their standing corn: if you survive your conflict, you will enjoy your victory here: if not, yet you will pull down the pillars of your enemies, and perishing together with them, you will be inwreathed with a more glorious laurel hereafter. You need doubt none, but the one-eyd, mongrel, half-witted medley of Cavaliers, and Presbyterians; and yet these, though they are now oddly cemented, and daubed together with untempered mortar, cannot but wonder at your account of things palpably designed long since, and now so visibly here acted, where their Enemies known interests, and their own present sufferings are so consonant, and correspondent, and answer as lively as faces in a glass. We may suppose that some of our Enemies are dementated by God, but we may withal suppose that there is a moderate sort, such as the Arguilians amongst the Scotch Presbyterians, and such as the Hoptonians amongst the English Prelatical Cavaliers, that may find their old suspicions strangely sympathising with these discoveries. It must needs be evident to the Arguilians by this time, that their young King, when he had swallowed the Covenant, and was bound thereby to prosecute all Prelatical, Popish Cavaliers, yet at the same time intended that Montrosse by his Commission should confound all Covenanters by Prelatical, and Popish Cavaliers; but the particular paces, and gradations which He made, when he designed things so contrary, and the proposed means of accomplishing the same, will be now better understood then ever. Likewise by this time it must needs be evident to the Hoptonians, that the same young Master of theirs, when he went to Mass with his Mother in France, and Courted the Pope, and all Catholic Princes for aids against his Heretical Rebels in England, He yet was resolved at the same time to engage himself by the Scotch Covenant to extirpate all Popery and Prelacy. But it will be now more evident to them, what the particular inductions, conjurations, and mysteries of the Romish Cabal was, which made that reconciliation betwixt things so irreconcilable in his weak, abused understanding. These mysteries after you are once throughly read, and studied, will appear no great mysteries: that which before was only intelligible, by your Narrative of particulars will be presented as visible. He that has eyes to see, will not shut them at your scenes; he that has eyes, but not to see (for such there were in our Saviour's days) will be as stupefied though a messenger from the dead came to salute him. In you are opened to the world strange counsels, strange actions, and strange events, and the symmetry that is betwixt your events and your actions, betwixt your actions and counsels, must needs convince every man, who is not cauterisd by the unsearchable judgements of God. In ethics wisdom is justified by her Children, and Truth has the lookingglass of time, and times events to view herself in, even as in the Mathematics, Rectum est sui Index, & obliqui. I need say no more: seeing men will judge of this piece of yours by the times; and know the times by this piece of yours: for a Lamp brought into a dark room makes itself known, as well as all other things in that room.  
Give me leave to Print, and bind up together with this Narrative of yours, two Letters which were communicated to me lately from a cordial Friend, and I believe they will not appear very heterogeneous. I will paraphrase nothing upon them, let them paraphrase for themselves. Adieu.  
SIR,  
SInce his Lordship desires to know my opinion touching his Majesty's Affairs, I shall with all freedom communicate what I conceive in ordinary reason, to be the most probable course for his re-advancement, and the restitution of Monarchy. And as touching this, the surest way to proceed in is, to take a survey of the causes of its ruin, and also of the Scotish Interest, since it pretends a restauration of the regal. Whence the destruction of the English Monarchy proceeded, may easily be perceived, if we consider the time of its deelension, which began with the days of our departure from the Roman Church: For, during the continuance of that profession among us, the Faith of the people being subjected to the Dictates and Decrees of the Church, they were like wax, apt to receive the Impression of any Principle, which the Church was pleased to impose upon them; and so by reason of that compliance which was maintained between the Pope and the Monarch, and the Priests and the Lords, for their mutual preservation, the people were the more easily ridden, and seldom or never contemned the Bridle. By this means, in those days, implicit faith and blind obedience was a maxim that passed current in Politics, as well as ecclesiastics, whilst the great ones of the Clergy and Laity shared all Authority between Them: And though many Quarrels arose between the Pope and the Monarch touching their several Jurisdictions 〈◊〉 the Arcana Imperii were still kept under lock and key, and so their Authorities remained entire ever, in relation to the people. But when the Protestant Religion began to take place among us, the Priests soon lost the command of those Reins which they held over the Conscience; Implicit obedience was immediately cashired, and the people having liberty allowed in things sacred made bold to pry into the Civil, and the reverential law to the Priesthood being quitted, the less reverence was born to the regal Authority.  
Nevertheless, the reforming Clergy (to make amends) endeavoured what lay in them to establish their own Interest, and twist it again with that of the Crown upon a Protestant Account; and as to outward splendour, they seemed to make the King somewhat more than he was before, plundering the Pope of the Title of Supreme Head of the Church to bestow it upon him. And farther, it must be acknowledged, the Bishops did what lay in them to support and advance his Prerogative; and they did it a long time: But alas, the first Reformers having opened the eyes of the People, their Successors knew not which way, to shut them up again, because the multitude were instructed in time to know as much as themselves; and knowledge is ever attended with a desire of liberty, and will require satisfaction in reason, before men will yield up their Intellects and obedience.  
Hence it was, that after men had a liberty given to read the Scriptures, they made bold of Themselves to interpret (every one after his own sense) as well as to read, and by this means they furnished themselves with matter enough to pelt at the Bishops; which order of men being beaten down as the main pillars, every man saw the necessity of a Fall of the Monarchy itself. Upon this account came in the Presbyter with his new Form of Government hewn out of the Scriptures to supplant the Protestant, and after him the Independent, who fetches Arguments likewise from the same Fountain, which puzzle all the world to prove the necessity of any Nati●nall Form of Church-government at all; and so the harmony betwixt the two Polities of Church and State being lost, it is obvious to every common understanding, that a change of the Roman Religion, was the original, or the first moving Cause, of this alteration of government, and the ruin of Monarchy in England.  
Now the Cause of the disease being known, I suppose it is no hard matter to prescribe his Majesty a remedy for recovery: And to this end, his best course is, to take the Counsel of Hypocrates, Contraria contrariis curanda. Since the English Kings have lost the Crown by departing from the Roman Church, sure the way to get it again is to return thither, and if it can be regained upon that Account, it will never be lost again: For, if I have any judgement in Affairs of this world, certainly there is no way left under heaven to allay the present Opinions and subdivisions of Faction in point of Religion, and to compose the civil Feuds that follow them, but by reducing the Members of this distracted Body, and swallowing up all, into a Monarchical Catholic uniformity. For, as things now stand, and as long as there is an Indulgence of that humour called Liberty of Conscience, it is impossible this Nation should be in any Form but that of a Republic; and until Conscience be muzzled again with the old Catholic Bond of Implicit obedience, it will ever be barking, and except such a Principle come in credit, it would be as impossible for his Majesty to keep possession hereafter, as it is now to get it, upon any other Terms, than an engaging with and for the Catholic Religion.  
And that there is no way but this for a recovery, will be made very evident by stating the condition of those parties in the three Kingdoms that pretend to his restitution; which I shall now effect in brief. The party that makes most noise in this particular is the Presbyterian; and at present there is a strong Report of his Majesty's Inclination to Them; but how such a Course can be justified in reason, I do not see, since there is no possible medium to reconcile the two Polities, Regal and Presbyterial, they being as contra-distinct in nature, as unitas and multitudo, Monarchy ●nd Polyarchy, both claiming (not an equality of power, but) the Supremacy: And though the Presbyterian claims his, in a way collateral (that is, In ordine ad Spiritualia) as to civil Things, yet the pretended derivation of their Authority more directly and immediately from Christ, as his special Ministers, and sole Administrators of his discipline (to whose Sceptre all earthly powers ought to bow, and obey) cuts the very Throa of all Civil Power, and (by consequence) assassinates the regal dignity. This being the true nature of that Faction, I suppose his Majesty hath little Cause to be in love with it, or to believe he can by embarking himself in that bottom, make a saving voyage upon the present Adventure, so as to return like himself, or to be what he would be.  
Nor do I see, what probability can be therein, to carry the day against the present prevailing party in England. That bruised Reed Scotland, is the grand Asylum (In quo n●● Boreas ipse manere velit;) and whether the poverty and pusillanimity of the Scotish Rabble be able to struggle with the wealth and power of England, is well worthy Consideration. As for their Party among the English, the chief Actors (the curtain being now▪ drawn) are become inconsiderable and contemptible, and Presbytery itself (in the latitude demanded) is universally odious to the Nation: Some Remnants they have likewise in Ireland, but not fit to be named, in order to the great work of restitution. Moreover, it is to be observed, that a Close with that party, will utterly disoblige those two grand ones, the Royall-Protestant and the Catholic.  
Now as touching these two, it is true indeed, they seem at present in a very low condition, but their hearts are firm, their number great, and as long as they are so, nothing wants but means and opportunity which must be sought after; and neither of Them being to be had at home, the Rise of all must be from abroad. And if we look into foreign parts, the Protestant hath but few Friends, the Catholic many. The Protestant can do much joined with the Catholic, but nothing without him, and therefore the key of the work, must be to bring these two to an union; which I suppose is no hard matter to effect, since the late looseness in Church discipline hath rendered the Protestant or Episcopal Cavaliers (as they call them) very indifferent, either to be of no Religion, or of any, as is evident by the many Proselytes which flow in daily unto the Church of Rome: Besides it is a thing not disputed now, but firmly believed by most of the ingenious and generous sort of our Nobility, Gentry, and old Clergy, that the difference betwixt us and Rome is not in fundamentals, but only in a few ceremonies and circumstantials, which though they formerly seemed superstitious extravagancies, yet now are looked upon by them (as with an eye of experience) to be necessary points of Prudence, Infatuare plebem, to charm, and keep the world in order. These things being considered, it will be no hard matter for his Majesty to mint the old Protestant and Catholic with the same stamp, and make them both bear the same Royal Image and Superscription. As for pretences of Conscience, which may arise to oppose the reason of this, I suppose his Majesty cannot but have so much of Prince in him, as to know it is a mere vanity to puzzle Conscience in matters of Ceremony; and there is not a Chaplain of his, but must be master of so much reason as to give him full satisfaction touching this particular: But if his Clergies Doctrine will not do it, yet let him be convinced, and instructed by the example and practice of his heroic Grandfather, the great Henry of France; who judging the differences in Religion not to be fundamental, made no scruple to take the Catholic way, when he could not come by the Protestant, to a plenary possession. And my opinion is, if his Majesty take the same Course, the Pope himself, and all the Catholics throughout Europe, prising England highly, will use all means for a recovery; which will be so much the more easy to attain upon that score; in regard the Catholics, or such as are at least half-Catholicks, are now chief in possession of the kingdom of Ireland; who would all be extremely distasted, and not so cordially pursue the Royal Interest, if once his Majesty should make a real close with the Scotch Presbyterians.  
Nevertheless, though a real Close would be destructive, yet I cannot but recommend a pretended one, to be of all other engines, the most necessary to carry on his Majesty's design, that whilst he shakes hands with them in public, he stick fast to his true Friends in private. And above all things it were requisite his pretences be kept so high still toward the Presbyters, that they have no cause to suspect him: For, if he effect nothing else thereby, yet this great benefit must needs ensue, that it will obstruct any union or Accord, and maintain Friends, betwixt Them and the Independents. By any means let all arts be used to keep these from uniting, and then the work is half done to his hands, otherwise it will be little less than impossible. Liberavi animam meam. Let my Lord know I have delivered my opinion with all sincerity and freedom, being confident I shall stand upright in his Judgement and his Majesties, when they have well weighed my Allegations. I am,  
(Sir) Your very affectionate humble Servant: M. P.  
SIR,  
I Received yours of the 8th. instant, and the same day I went and shown his Lordship, who went immediately and imparted it to his Majesty, who hath kept it locked up ever since in his Cabinet. I perceive, that in the judgement of them all you have hit the nail on the head, and his Majesty resolves to send a copy of it to the Queen at Paris, to whom I know it will be every jot as welcome. You might imagine, that I flatter you, if I should deliver the opinions of his Majesty's true Friends, in the same language that they express, concerning your extraordinary parts and merits; but take this for all: They say, there never came a more judicious and solid express from any English pen; and it is exceedingly wondered, that you should jump so evenly in your judgement with the greatest heads in Europe, upon whose Counsel and Advice his Majesty solely depends; And this so exactly (my Lord saith) as if you had conversed and compared notes together.  
As for the Scots, assure yourself his Majesty abhors them, any farther than for his own ends; and it hath been already resolved to keep close (touching them) to the Rule prescribed in your letter; therefore be not moved at all, if you chance hereafter to hear of our agreement with Them: For, it is the Queen's Advice, we should do it upon any Terms whatsoever. For news, I refer you to the enclosed Copy, desiring to hear from you upon all occasions; but this piece of good news more give me leave here to tell you, that you will never want a gracious Master of his Majesty, who expects your privacy, and is resolved fully to reward you, as soon as it shall please God to restore him: And touching this, you will suddenly receive greater Testimonies and Assurances than mine; in the mean time he shall take all opportunities to premove that good opinion which you have already attained, and use my utmost endeavour every way to deserve the reputation of,  
Yours, etc.  Qui Decipi vult, Decipiatur. 
Some fall, because they will not stand:  
Some ship-wreck, cause they will not land:  
No pity: let him snared be:  
That snares discovered will not see.  
FINIS.