News from SMITH THE OXFORD JAILOR. WITH THE Arraignment of Mercurius Aulicus, who is sentenced to stand in the Pillory three Market daves, for his notorious Libelling against State and Kingdom.   a king stands in the pillory, surrounded by men with pikes 
London, Printed for J. B. 1645.   

News from SMITH the OXFORD jailor.  GENTLEMAN: 
Captain Smith what news is this that's stirring now in Court?  Smith. 
News said you, I hear of none to day.  Gent. 
I heard an inkling the last night, which makes me bold to inquire of you if there were any that's certain, you would hear it, I hope you are not offended.  Smith. 
Sir you are mistaken in me, I am not so soon offended unless it be with those Roundheads I have in custody, when they never leave bawling at me for bread and water, or to have a peeping hole, whereby to have the benefit of our Oxford air yet Heaven knows I have been so much used to it, as I have stopped my ears with a little hard hear redness and let them call till their Souls fly to another World: I think I do them a better deed then to relieve them with some small pittance to keep them alive till they have gained their own Liberty. But by this means I have gained a devilish many of curses, both of the Fatherless and Widows. And now I talk of women it brings into my mind some news I heard last night, which is the worst that ever came to Oxford, (unless the bombasting news which came from York, where we were beaten black and blue) but I will not tell it you unless you will swear damnably you will not report it again, as from me for 'tis kept mighty secret as yet it is concerning Mercurius Aulicus that renowned Oxonian (though a blasphemous and lying Pamphileteer) certainly you know him, 'tis he that writ of the Victories, that were obtained against the Roundheads at Edghill, Lands-downe, and Taghill, Arundell-Castle, Charington-downe and York, I will whisper this in his behalf That at neither of these pieces we did not lose above one hundred men for their one man. Wherefore I conceive they were very remarkable victories, & be chose the most remarkable day in all the week for the studying of his rues (by reason he could not so aptly study untruths of no other day then that whereon he should be doing God better service) But alas, poor Aulicus is utterly ruinated, although he had a very significant title of the winged God and Court Messenger, for dispersing lies with such winged speed through the kingdom; yet for his ambition, in aspiring above his reach, he is now with Icarus fall'n, silenced by Britanicus, his body seized, and estate and Library sequestered, to be disposed for charitable uses, to the two foreign Princes, Rupert and Maurice, towards the maintenance of our bloodthirsty plundering Religion, to the new Lord jermyn, the Lo: Cottington and the Lo: Digby, and our valiant welsh and sore oppressed Cornish soldiers, to the end they may stoutly withstand his Majesty's faithful subjects who stand for his Parliament sitting at Westminster, & not endure that our cursed Hierarchy be brought to predestinated and deserved shame and ignominy. Prince rupert's share in this benevolence, shall be paid to his Doctor for the Antidote he gave him to purge his luxurious body, and comfort his drooping spirit on the day of York b ttell, and two of the pamphlets (for him and his brother Maurice) which Aulicus writ in praise of their victories, to carry with them to Venus' shrine in Venice, to show their Ladies of pleasure when they are banished this Kingdom: The very abstracted quintessence of all his Mercuries, to that politic Head & Hisoaniolized Lord Don Diego Cottington, whose c●st-downe looks tell us there is some fine Spanish trick hatching, to which the whore of Babylon shall be Mother. For the newmade Lord. jermyn, here is no game for such Cock-sparrows in England, he shall have share in the two Crowns on the Frontispiece of Aulicus his Pasquil, to bear his charges till he comes to his old Lodging in the Queen's Arms at Paris. To the Lo: Digby (a bird of the same feather) all the seditious scandalous matter that ever Aulicus head-piece hammered in the Anvil of his own Coxcomb; that he, being a great Soldier, may act what the others little Head hath invented: To the valiant Welsh, and oppressed Cornish souldlers, all the annual profits which can be made of his estate and Library, shall be equally shared among them, to the end they may have some satisfaction, for that Aulicus hath not (according to his wont course) in his spurious Libels made their names infamous (famous I would have said) for the glorious and most renowned Victory lately obtained against Colonel Browne at Abbington: For which negligence, the Cornish women have Articled against him, and reckoned, up all his old Scores, arraigning him publicly at their Tribunal at Brazen-Nose, alias Brazenfaced Hall in Oxford. And truly, I cannot much blame the poor women for so doing, they having been much abused in this business. For first, their Hu●bands are drawn from them by fair pretences and sugared words, that they shall go no further than their own Country, and yet have been drilled to all the places before mentioned: and as for those great Victories they have gained near their own Country, especially that which our demy-God Greenvile obtained the other day against Plymouth, and yet never a day of Triumph for it, nor ever set forth by Aulicus, to their neverdying honour, and the comfort of their Wives and Children: wherefore they will no longer be thus fooled (as they have been) but make Aulicus exemplary, by bringing him to such condign punishment, as by the definitive sentence and verdict of thiteen Women shall be thought fit, feven of which shall be Cornish women, and the other six shall come from over the Mountains in Wales, whose 13. husbands were reported by Aulicus (in his lying pamphlets) to be dead and alive 26 times during the siege of Gloster, where we gained another world for almost 2000 of our men we brought thither, and many witnesses are now come against him from several parts of this Kingdom, namely from Cornwall, Somerset, and Oxford-shire. For that in Cornwall ('tis true) we had an extraordinary Victory where we got Ordnance and some Ammunition, (but it was by treachery) which made Aulicus lie loudly, for that he set forth it was gained with the loss of not above 100 men. Now here comes 200. women into the Court against him that lost their Hu bands in that fight, and demanded account of the overplus according to their reckoning.  Author. 
(But Courteous Reader) what great miss will there be of all the Widows and Bachelors that were lost in the fight, (for doubtless they were not all married men) for procreation of male Children, to searue the King in this uncivil Civil War against his best Subjects.  Smith. 
in Sumerset-sheir and Mendisse we had a great victory there in compelling Colonel Carry to march out of Wells, we did but retreat so fall as we could run, Sir William Waller pursuing us nine mile in the rear, yet than Aulicus in his pasquil set forth that we had not lost above 10. men, and now there is come above 60. Maids that lost their best beloved's in that fight, and demanded account of their overplus as before mentioned.  
In Oxford-shire we gained another great victory against Sir William Waller with the loss of not above six or seven men: and two horses, as Aulicus set forth in his lying pamphlet at most, and here's 12 of his own kindred and 20 others, who hearing of his arraignment having lost in that fight their kindred and servants are all come to demand an account for the remainder being all generally resolved to witness against him, and make exemplary for his notorious abusing of all their Sex, which have caused them thus to proceed in judgement against him.  
1 For that his lying Libels stuffed with nothing but deceitful gloze, have tended to nought else, but to animate and encourage their Husbands, and Friends to persist in this unnatural war; They have therefore sentenced him as followeth.  
1 To stand in the Pillory three Market days in Oxford.  
2 To have a Writing over his head in great Characters, in these words, Woe be unto you Oxonian Libelers take warning by this Precedent here before you, who hath so long walked in Egyptian darkness, till at last he is brought here to lose his ears in this Wood of shame and reproach.  
3 That he shall beg forgiveness (with all humility) for his so great and heinous offences against Mercurius Britanicus, & all others that have prosecuted againsthim.  
4 That he shall be utterly disabled from writing in darkness, and publishing in the light any more Libellous books for one year, during which term he is to be in custody of those thirteen Women, who are to inflict fuch corporal punishment on him, as they in their womenly discretion shall think fit.  
5 That before two month's expiration he be cut of the simples, and his brains be taken out, washed in white wine, and put in again.  
6 That for every morning during the said time he have one mess of stewed broth made of the interlinings of four Court Parasites, and the brains of 26. Oxford Widgins boiled in the water of forgetfulness.  
7 That he may never hereafter have so much as one graives of wit left him in his empty Hogshead (his brains being taken out and washed, as before is ordered) to scandalise those, whom, if he had any grace he is bound to honour.  Smith. 
Alas poor Aulicus, that ever any one man should so misdemean himself, as to come under the heavy censure of so many women; were it my case I would choose rather to be hanged out of the way, than thus be tormented at the discretion of women, they will plague him shrewdly.  Author. 
Reader it had been better for him to have followed his old trade to blow the Organ bellows of Christ College) then thus aspiring to be a Court Pleaser, with pharisaical stratagems, pleasing the itching ears of those who were entrusted with great honts in the Court and field, so to come to great preferment; in stead of which he is come to public shame and infamy, his study was to publish very dangerous, and pestilent doctrine; and to no other end, then to augment the misunderstanding between the King and his Parliament: when as it is the duty of every faithful subject to labour to bring them rightly to understand each other, that so there might be an end of this unhappy divisions. Let Aulicus know that is not the last censure he must undergo (perhaps not in this life) but I am sure there is a day will come wherein he must tender a strict account for every life that hath been lost. By reason of that encouragement he has given in his seditious Libels for the furtheranse of this unnatural war: there is no way for him to escape further censure, but by disclaiming all his former evil acts, & making public recantation answerable to the heinousness of his several, & unparaleld offences, wherein he hath notoriously abused both King & State, Prince & people, no good men have scaped the lashes of his scurrilous pen, especially for that insolent and audacious expression of his, which I fear ere long will procure him a shameful, and sudden dispatch of a long errand to another world: Namely, that both the hanourable Houses of Parliament were but a pretended Parliament: but now I hope by that time his 13. months dieting be expired, & his body brought down by his aforesaid physic, He will be glad to acknowledge them, what indeed they are, the true, lawful, and absolute Parliament of this Kingdom: and it is my hearty prayers, that who ever are found guilty of such unheard of insolency, to spurn at the authority & power of this supreme and Highest Court, as He hath done, may have the same reward at last, which by the known Laws of the Land is appointed for such capital offenders: who prefer their base and mercenary ends before the welfare of three Kingdoms.  
FINIS.