A Brief and Witty Discourse OR DIALOGUE, BETWEEN A York-sire man, and a Scottish-man; Concerning the Forces landed in Scotland, and the English-Army. ALSO, Some Dispute touching the Treaty at Breda, and General Lesley's marching with an Army. With certain Observations what is like to be the issue and even thererof. two men engaged in conversation London, Printed by R. W. for D. B. 1650. A Discourse or Dialogue, between a Yorkshire man and a Bonny Scot Yorkshire. WEll met friend, what news? I perceive you come from the Coast of Scotland. Scot Before I answer, give me leave to ask what Countryman you are? Yorks. I am a Yorkshire man born, and bred, I care not who knows it, I hope true Yorkshire never denies his Country. Scot I thought you looked like a subtle Blade; I defy your Country, for I am a Bonny Scot, and for news, I can tell none that may in the least measure content you. Yorks. A Bonny Scot, I cry you mercy Sir, your tongue might have deceived me, had it not been for your blue Bonnet; but surely Sir your have been more conversant in England then in your own Country, or you have learned to counterfeit, how else comes it to pass that you have forgotten your mother-tongue and speak so good English? And if Yorkshire men be such Blades, I am sure that some Scots are crafty Knaves and Cowards too, that's more; and for your news, whether it be good or bad it matters not a pin. Scot You may know it too son for aught I know, and I desire you that you will speak no more of Scotland then what you can affirm, what Scotsmen Cowards? Yorks. I as sure as louse in bosom, what I have said I will justify of some of them. Scot I pray you Sir [it's well you say some] have not Scotsmen been commended for gallant soldiers in Germany, in the Low-Countries, I and in England too, otherwise how should I have known how to have spoken English? Yorks. How say you, in England? I thought you spoke like Lancashire, and I warrant it was beaten into your head when Hambleton was your blind guide, for there you had it to some purpose; and I believe all the money you can make in Scotland, will not redeem the Colours you then lost, and yet more to your honour (if you think it so) I can mind you of what is of longer antiquity, and you may take it for your better nodification, that our Chronicles make mention that in the year 1333, the English besieged the Town of Barwick, and the Scots intending to dissolve the Siege, the English met them at Bothel, and slew of them one thousand three hundred horsemen, and thirty five thousand footmen, and afterward took the Town, and there placed a Garrison: And in the year 1339, the Scottish King with divers Earls and Lords were taken prisoners by the English. If this be your valour, let it be recorded to posterity; but really, I must needs confess your mistake is not very great, for (if at these and other times that I can tell you of) if Running had been Fight, you had not lost the day. Scot I, I, as for your Chronicles we cannot remember them, but I am sure we took Newcastle by storm, although it cost some few hundred of us our lives. From thence we marched victoriously without opposition, as fare as Hereford; and returned with many Horses and good spoil into our own Country; Now in this service it was my fortune to be, by which means I came to speak good English, and not by coming in with Duke Hambleton, for than we could not do it, haste calling upon us to be gone; yet friend let me speak something for my own honour; for at that very instant (standing in the Sun) I killed one, and had killed another a second time, I believe, but that the sudden discharging of a piece of Ordnance, made me forget my bullet. Yorks. I thought that you would have excused yourself some other way, and said that it was not because of your valour, but because you could get no victuals, that you returned back again into your own Country. Scot Marry Sir, I think some had too much, for they took a grievous surfeit of it, and for our opposers, they were so lusty that we have found the smart of it. Yorks. So, it is well that you will yield that the English got the best, I thought you would have remained obstinate, and if you had, I should have made bold to put you in mind, of your crossing the water another time: I pray you what great Guns and Ammunition, have you now in Scotland of your own? Scot I, now indeed you come near the point, and as I may say to you, we have been beholding oftentimes to others, both for Horse and Ammunition, yet have we of our own too. Yorks. Now I believe you, for you are all for what you can get. Scot Well, what do you infer upon that? Will you say we are fools for that? Yorks. No, I will not make any inference, because I do not very well understand what you mean: But leaving off this impertinent discourse, what say you to the Lord Cromwel's late march to Edinburgh? Scot By your favour Sir, never the more fools or knaves neither for that, for I pray what Army ever was there that could withstand them? Did they not conquer all places where ever they came? I hope you will not say that all that they have conquered are cowards; if you do, you will make cowards of as valiant men, as any are in Yorkshire at this time. York. Why then you may account it an honour to be conquered by the English-Army. Scot Whether it be or not, I shall not dispute, but I am certain it is no disgrace: For were not the haughty Cavaliers subdued by them? Is not the great and numerous Armies, under the conduct of General Preston, Ormond, Inchiqueen, and others in Ireland, almost conquered by a part of this Army there: Then I say there is none yet that could withstand them. Yorks. Do you confess this? Scot Yes, I grant that without any more controversy, it appearing so plain that it cannot be denied; therefore speak not to me any more of fools or cowards, for if you do give me any more such cross answers, I shall make you believe that the Scots are men; or else i'll burn my Cap. Yorks. Because thou boastest so much, and beginnest to threaten, I will do what I can to vex thee; some of the Scots are Fools in the first place, Cowards in the second place, ignoble in the third place, beggarly in the fourth place, and something else in the fifth place. Scot Better words would better become you, unless you could show wherein they are so. Yorks. I shall give you some reason for what I have said; they were Fools for invading England, Cowards that they were caught, ignoable for that they lost their honour, beggarly for that they brought not money with them, and something else for making War against the Parliament of England: This I have been the more plain in relating, because you could not keep your own Country, but must needs attempt the making of us as miserable as yourselves. Scot Well, well, I will let you have your own saying at this time, but be sure I will pay you home in your own coin; and now I will prove that there is more folly with you, then with us. Yorks. I believe you will say what you can for yourself. Scot That I will too, therefore hear my Argument. Whosoever they be that see and know the miseries of others occasioned by their folly, and shall wilfully and rebelliously tread in their steps, taking the same course to bring themselves into the like condition, are worse than the former: You could not but be sensible of the miseries that the poor Scots were brought into by their fegary into England with Duke Hambleton; now after this, some of you were so wise as to tread in their steps, and give advantage to them that were the causers and procurers of our miseries, so as to bring themselves into the same condition: Ergo,— Yorks. Well proffered howsoever, but yet I deny your minor, viz. That we men of Yorkshire did join with them that were the procurers of yours and our miseries, thinking thereby to bring ourselves into the same condition; it is no such matter, we like not your condition so well as to desire it, they that do, I say it is fit they should have it. Scot But Sir, before you proceed any farther, give me leave to tell you how grossly you are mistaken in what I said; I said not that you joined with them on purpose to make yourselves miserable thereby, but that you through your folly took the only course to bring yourselves into that condition, if that some of you act and go on in the same way that some of us did before you; I remember a verse much to this purpose; It is no less than a silent Invitation, Although we scorn the sin, to give the occasion. If you will not be convinced now that some of you were in an error, and approve of what I have said to be true, I will call the Army to be a Moderator betwixt us; were not some Yorkshire men at Burford? Yorks. I know not that, but if the Army shall be Moderators, we must stay until the Army comes. Scot Truly, if our intelligence be right, it will not be long before they come. Yorks. I wish they were whipped that are the cause thereof, take heed your wit fail you not again in Scotland, I believe you will meet with your match, if you stir again against England. Scot Indeed there is some fear of being ensnared by a Treaty, and what the meaning is of bringing over foreign forces, we yet know not. Yorks. I thought how wise I should find you; me thinks had you any more wit than mere naturals, you would not suffer more mouths to come into your Land and eat up that which God sends, which is little enough to feed those that are bred and born in it: And here I shall give you some advice to carry along with you, which is this; That if you and Montrosse juggle together, the sword (or that which is worse) will meet with some of you; for it is reported he will shortly be in Scotland, whether there be an agreement with your declared King, or not. Scot What a business that is; is not General Lesley marching to meet them, with an Army? I warrant he will deal well enough with them, I will assure you their condition is bad enough: But in this (I hope) I speak not any thing against my Country. Yorks. It matter not much whether your General (as you call him) fights them at all, but be sure (if they come forward) they will be fought with. Scot Truly, I believe Sir, and I confess unto you more, that the noise of the English Army strikes a great terror, for many do say; That it is no more withstanding them, than it is to stop the water in the River Tweed. Yorks. I will assure you, I am of opinion, Scotland will rue the time that such guests came thither, unless they take a speedy course to send them back again; for if they get the better end of the staff, what care they what is done or not done at the Treaty at Breda. Scot Indeed friend I am almost of the same persuasion, and therefore shall rather stand by, and observe how others carry themselves, them to be an Actor with them. I hope we have all of us had enough of Wars and Commotions, some of us have paid dear enough for it, and that wit (they say) is best, which is dearest bought: And so at this time farewell. FINIS.