To Doctor Tillotson.  
SIR,  
NOthing in this World is, or aught to be so dear to any Man, as his Reputation; and consequently the Defence of it is the greatest Obligation that one Man can lay on another: There are also some Circumstances, that render this Obligation yet more Acceptable and Valuable; as when 'tis Conferred Generously, without any Self-Interest, or the least Desire or Invitation from the Person so Defended. All this happens to be my Case at this time; and therefore I hope you will not be surprised to find I am not the most Ungrateful, and Insensible Man living; which certainly I should be, if I did not acknowledge all your Industrious Concern for me, about the Business of the Ecclesiastical Commission, which now makes so much Noise in the World. You have, as I am told, so Cordially pleaded my Cause, that 'tis almost become your own; and therefore, as unwilling as I am to speak of myself, especially in a Business which I cannot wholly Excuse; yet I think myself now a little Obliged to show my Part in this matter; though Imprudent enough, yet is not altogether Unworthy of so Just, and so Considerable an Advocate.  
The less a Man says of himself, the better; and 'tis so well known already, why I was kept out of all the Secret Councils, that I need not justify myself, or trouble you as to those Matters; only I Appeal to the Unquestionable Testimony of the Spanish Ambassador, if I did not zealously and constantly take all Occasions to oppose the French Interest; because I knew it directly Opposite both to the King and Kingdom's Good, which are indeed things Inseparable, and aught to be so accounted, as a Fundamental Maxim in all Councils of Princes.  
This, I hope, will prepare the way a little for what I have to say concerning my being one of the Ecclesiastical Commissioners; of which Error I am now as sensible, as I was at first ignorant, being so unhappily conversant in the midst of a perpetual Court-flattery, as never to have heard the least word of any Illegality in that Commission, before I was unfortunately engaged in it.  
For, though my Lord of Canterbury had very prudently Refused to be of it, yet it was talked at Court, it proceeded only from his Unwillingness to act at that time, and not from any Illegality he suspected in the Commission; having Excused himself from it the most respectful way, be the Infirmities he lay under. Being thus ignorant of the Laws, and in such a Station at Court, I need not desire a Man of your Judgement and Candour, to consider the hardness of my Case, when I was commanded to serve in a Commission with a Lord Chancellor, a Lord Chief Justice, and two Bishops, who had all of them already acted some time there, without showing the least Diffidence of their Power, or any Hesitation in the Execution of it. And perhaps a Man of more Discretion than I can pretend to, might have been easily persuaded to act in such a Conjunction, and to think he might do it safely, both in Law and Conscience. But I need not say much to show my desire to have avoided, if possible, a troublesome Employment, that had not the least temptation of Honour or Profit to Recommend it; and which therefore I continued in upon no account in the World, but to Serve both King and Clergy with the little Ability I had, in moderating those Councils, which I thought might grow higher, if I left my Place to be filled by any of those who waited for it greedily, in order to their ill Designs.  
And I may expect the more Credit in this, when 'tis considered that the Two Important Affairs which passed in that Ecclesiastical Court, being the Bishop of London's Suspension, and the Incapacitating the Members of Magdalen College; the first was done some Months before I was a Commissioner, and I opposed the last, both in Voting and Speaking, and with all the Interest I was able to make use of, which indeed was but little after that Opposition; in which being Out-voted, I seldom Came, and never Acted in that Court after, except to Restore the Bishop of London, though sent for continually, by reason of my Lodging so near it.  
And since I have been forced to mention my  at least, if not my Service, to such Learned Men of the Clergy who I thought deserved it, it may be allowed me to give this one Instance more of it; that althô in Preferring Men to all other Places of the Household, I ever used to ask Permission first, and accordingly was often Refused, for the sake of Roman Catholics and others, who were Recommended by Persons more in Favour than myself; yet I was so careful of keeping that Considerable part of the Family unmixed with Mean or Unworthy Chaplains, whom others I feared would have imposed on His Majesty, that I constantly filled up those Vacancies without giving him the least Notice or Trouble about it, and Supplied them with the ablest approved Divines, I could possibly find, most commonly Recommended to me by the Bishops who were not of the Court: Which I conceived the most proper course, in a Matter concerning Clergymen, with a King of a different Persuasion from theirs, and intended for his real Service, believing it had been better for Him, as well as the Kingdom, if the Greater Ecclesiastical Dignities had been disposed of by others with as much Caution.  
And thus, Sir, I have endeavoured to confirm you in your Favourable Opinion of me, which must be acknowledged by every-body an Approbation of such weight, that as I hope it may be an Example of Authority to many, so 'tis sufficient of itself to Balance the Censoriousness of others. I am,  
SIR, Your Obliged Humble Servant, MULGRAVE. White-Hall, Mar. 27. 1689.